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#can i kill myself already?
satorugojowidow · 8 months
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aiming for spring summer season i went to check some online stores and one pair of pants cost ⅓ of the minimum wage
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hinamie · 1 month
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forget me not | 勿忘草
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babydarkstar · 6 months
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so many griddlehark doomers on this website. smh my head…….theyre doomed by fate AND the narrative to be intrinsically intertwined no matter what. i cannot conceive of a finished locked tomb series where theyre not lying dead in each other’s arms or existing together in some fugue state of unbeing. not even death can separate the lesbians that scratch each other bloody and then cry in each other’s arms. they have been fated to orbit one another literally since their conception. one flesh one end, bitch.
#also harrow literally lobotomized to forget gideon and she still couldnt in the end#anyways i often think abt the whole#‘i gave you my whole life and you didnt even want it’#and the thing is like. yeah gideon. she didnt want it because she never wanted to lose YOU who was attached to it#you who she just bonded with. has had a very tumultuous girlbestfriend situationship with#when i think abt how young they are i fucking scream#this is why i hate john gaius. insane man. kill him to death alecto#tlt#griddlehark#tlt spoilers#anyways. thinking about the saddest girl in the whole world tonight :(#this is a john gaius HATE account all my homies HATE john gaius#anyways. why is everybody so so scared that theyre going to have a terrible endgame#baby theyve already been falling through a terrible endgame thru the duration of their entire existence#i will say. if harrowhark ends up with anybody else i’ll have to off myself#i support womens wrongs but ianthe can go be wrong somewhere far away from harrow#im about to go through the entire series again so i can screenshot and prove why im right about this#theres a narrative thread to follow#and never once have i been afraid of them not finding their way back to each other#the thing is like. above everything. these girls exist to orbit each other#gideon thinking harrow is her past when harrow has always been her present and her future#harrow thinking gideon’s death will be her undoing#because to harrow. gideon is unable to die. she WOULDNT die for so long#and when she found something to die for. she went to it with her whole being#but heres the thing. one flesh one end is more than just becoming one body and dying one death#idk im incoherent i need to talk abt this in a post instead of tags#i will. soon
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deluweil · 1 year
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You know how I keep saying that Eddie’s heart is Buck?
I mean, Christopher is indeed his world (often symbolized by the universe and planets on shirts and the model in his room), but his heart is Buck.
911 5x06 pretty much cemented that for me, in that Mitchell gave his heart to save his son, in 4x14 Eddie tells Buck that if anything happens to Eddie, he gets Christopher.
In this analogy, Buck is the heart, the one that will "save" Christopher, look after him if Eddie’s is gone.
In 5x06, Buck tells Eddie that Mitchell is dead, and Eddie says that his heart isn't and he needs it to stay that way so he can save Mitchell's son.
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When Eddie says, "and I need it to stay that way." The frame is on Buck.
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Furthermore, when Buck runs inside to get what Eddie asks for, Eddie’s eyes linger on Buck until he disappears into the hospital.
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In 5x14, we also have the famous "I misunderstood the assignment" where Eddie holds the actual heart Christopher drew in his right hand, but Buck's cute 😏 heart in his left hand, on the heart side.
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So I ask you, what happens when that heart stops beating, even if just for a few seconds? 🥺❤️🥺
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birdricks · 7 months
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admit it. you would have been me
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secretdonderwolk · 14 days
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possessive max 🥰
https://www.tumblr.com/geminivenus-111/751434299010695168?source=share
it's the way max and daniel are never beating the that one tiktok that goes girlfriend singing and she's a cunt -- only for the boyfriend to move her out of the way and quickly say -- ry music fan allegations... max's still high croaky teenage voice sounding vaguely threatening when he says, "we play togedder..." it was serious to him
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p1x1x · 13 days
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#momonina#kindof. embarrassed to post this one bc its just pure fluff lmao… theyre so LAME in this pic (/j)#i can hear mmk going ったく…#nn’s outfits are always soooo cute though#waaaaaah i love the fashion….#miiiight color it though..#edit incoming#future pix here#mmnn#<- decided the drawings of the two of em can have momonina in them but if it leans more romo than plato it has mmnn#bc i rotate them in my head so fast#but as the days pass i get really crazy over them being Not Romantic but still More than That#im losing my Mind tbh#the only thing im certain of is that mmk is definitely a lesbian all things considered like look at her LMAO#everytime i rewatch i do consider how gay her actions are...???#(i've been rotating mmnn around in my mind since ep 1 tbh... the codependency was tempting...!)#but i keep thinking abt mmk herself saying “i saw my past self in you” in like. ep 2 already... and it would linger in my mind#i had written in my notes a While back#like when ep 4 was airing#that it just felt like mmk was trying to be kind to her past self ykno#because she believed that the her now... had failed in her dream#so yknow... by giving the guitar she was trying to have nn continue that dream for her (leading into mmk “guiding nn”)#ofc nn gives back her guitar though and i thank that person on twitter everyday for putting it so well#LIKE AGHHH THEIR MEETING WAS FATE BUT THE ACTIONS THEY TOOK TO PULL EACH OTHER UP... KILL ME!!!!#the choices they make regarding themselves... of staying true to themselves... hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhgjhg#idk how many people will see this edit so im just treating it like the void (haha Void) here#(i've made that joke multiple times to myself now#i still think about. how mmnn were drawn to the honesty of each other#and yet. didnt exactly recognize each other as an actual person yet?#nn loved void and so loved mmk for creating it and saving her life. so mmk was a savior to her
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skitskatdacat63 · 7 months
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Stop flirting....
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lemongogo · 6 months
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can i ask.how u guys practice ur creativity <3 how u practice ur imagination or like.. how u experiment with ur art, how u come to ideas and how u develop them.<3 pretty please <3
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#smthing i have always struggled w.is feeling like i can only draw things that r handed 2 me.#as in.an idea or concept that already exists#chara or conflict that already exists.Scene that alr exists.#and i think it can be soo limiting bc when i have that sort of creative desire but nothing 2 reflect off of it#i feel like im unable to do anything/get anywhere bc im unable to do that mental legwork myself ykwim#like comic artists r SOOO JAW DROP INSPIRING TO MEE bc not only are u envisioning ur own sequences/situations#but u are able to imagine even the most MUNDANE interactions within those scenarios u know#like the transitory panels and the quiet moments and the every day stillness#and i feel like.its not even a poor attempt on my behalf its like.i cant Even attempt it.like my brain is soo empty#and soo static and noiseless that i am like gauhh......#i can practice lines all day long and practice colors and practice anatomy or Whatever bc its something concrete#and its in front of me and i can pry apart the physical technicalities until i understand it better#but my MIND???ABSTRACTION>? THOUGHTS .ough its so hard#and i really want to push past that but i dont know how and its so .. demoralizing to think that ill get there One Day but i feel#one million and two days away.and not making active process towards it.#i know the first step is to build ur visual library and i feel liek. idk i FEEL LIKEEE theres more 2 it that im missing#but also im depressed as hell n my job is killing my creative drive and the seasonal stuff isnt helping#so maybe i just need 2 give it time (true) but i also like.man i dont know. i want 2 do something w my hands#but everything ive been doing so far has felt soo .hard and fruitless and i definitely dont want 2 turn art into such a stressful thing#fruitless as in like.i dont get any personal satisfaction w it.idgaf abt monetization or algorithms or any of tht#but smtimes thats just what happens and i have 2 weather through and know ill be more equipped 4 this some other time#SAWRYYY IM ALWAYS GOING ON AND ONNN im nromal im normal<3 i just rly like art and it sucks balls whn it feels out of reach#sigh cry fart scroll.(:salute:)
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moghedien · 5 months
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i swear if you people start uwuifying OCD like you did with ADHD and autism I'm going to start attacking
#the general idea of what OCD is already so fucking wrong and harmful#if you start being like 'oh my little meow meow is so OCD' or 'its not a disorder its just a different way of thinking uwu'#I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL#ALL OF MY EARLIEST CHILDHOOD MEMORIES FROM AGE 3 AND UP ARE OF HAVING PANIC ATTACKS#PLEASE GO FUCK YOURSELVES THIS IS A MISERABLE FUCKING DISORDER ITS NOT CUTE ITS NOT QUIRKY ITS THE REASON I HAD GRAY HAIR AS A TEENAGER#i saw this like 'i let the intrusive thoughts win' isn't something people use all the time for like dying their fucking hair#its exhausting how many people what to be all 'mental illness needs to be more accepted'#and then in the next sentence want to deny that your mental illness is actually harmful to you and doesn't negatively affect you#and its just because society doesn't accept your different way of thinking uwu#NO I LITERALLY WOULD HAVE KILLED MYSELF AS A TEENAGER IF SOMEONE HAD CONVINCED ME THAT MY MENTAL ILLNESS WAS NORMAL AND FINE#figuring out that something was Wrong with my brain was like the best moment of my life#and this 'no you just think differently don't try to change' attitude may be helpful in SOME CASES#but that shit needs to me pulled back on A LOT online because that framing can be extremely harmful to some people (like me)#knowing exactly what is wrong with my brain is literally the only way I'm able to not let it affect me#and it not affecting me is literally the only way I can function and live happily#like you understand that some people do genuinely have things wrong with them#and telling them they don't is beyond cruel
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midchelle · 1 year
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hello are we still doing uquizes? yes? okay here's mine:
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it turns out that, in moving, i have traded out having to deal with many small spiders for having to deal with the occasional fuckoff huge one
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anaalnathrakhs · 15 days
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love this part of my life where the things that are difficult but challenging and good for me are things i can stop and skip and halfass, but the things that are difficult and painful and pointless are the things i have to live with no matter what
#school and home life are too much to handle so i skip school#because i cant kick my parents out#and appartments cost money#and i dont have a car to sleep in#i could maybe try to dig up my old childhood tent but that brings a whole host of logistic questions + im scared and it's difficult#anyway. it's fine. it's cool. i just have to hold on until i graduate high shcool and then ?????#find a way to live without my parents money OR scholarships#all for some nebulous end goal of having a job (the only field i'm interested in and good at offers two options:#to become an academic#or to become a freelancer#i do not have the fortitude to be an academic and being a freelancer is convoluted and pays like shit)#i might've spent 24h without my parents occasionally if i spent the night at a friend's place once or twice recently#but besides that the last time i've gone 48h without my parents was when the mental health center organised a week camp uhhhh...#two summers ago#incredibly good for my mental health as you can see#god i remember like... years ago. around 13yo maybe or 14. a guy. i dont know if he was a mental health professional or like social cases#but anyway he told me ''you're too afraid to be away from mommy and daddy'' and it made me want to rip his eyes out#several other people have implied or suggested that too over the years and it's just#am i too dependant on my parents? yes. will it be difficult to take my independance? yes.#does it means i don't both rationally recognize and feel that this is really fucking unhealthy and hindering for me#on top of being unpleasant?#FUCK NO#i want out my guy. there's just not many opportunities for an already mentally ill teenager#now that i'm eighteen i have to grapple with the logistical problems of the money needed and how to continue my education#and im sure a billion more if i start searching a little more seriously#perhaps i should kill myself that way i don't cost anyone any more money#broadcasting my misery#vent
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soars22 · 4 months
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Oh, man, ghosties, y’all weren’t kidding. The last half of that stream was rough.
I am… not prepared for what happens today. At least Bad won’t be alone though, right?
Right??????
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werebutch · 7 days
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My mom getting a new place is kinda making me anxious I think she thinks I’m gonna move in w her instead of my dad 😭 and I’m not sure why I don’t want to. Cuz she’s way better. But I don’t. And I feel responsible I think and plus my sisters will never favor my mom over my dad… so we’d live apart. but I’m 20 years old I can live whatever I want. But. But but but
#idk I really like our house too. it’s great. it’s exactly my style. I would miss it LMAO#but again my mom is just.. she’s so much more organized and she and my stepdad actually get stuff done#and take care of themselves. living w her would be more like we’re roommates and not how it is w my dad#who needs to be taken care of and doted on like a child. my sisters too but I don’t think they’d survive living without me at my dads 💀#or they’d be really pissed at me. at the least#my dads house is constantly horrible so messy so so so bad no free counterspace anywhere can barely walk thru the house and cat vomit#everywhere. unless I take care of all of it. I can’t have company over unless I know a week in advance so I can make it look like a normal#house. and at my moms it’s never like that. it’s messier than average sure but it’s never disgusting like that#people are always telling me not to do anything and let my family learn to clean up after themselves but if I don’t it will just get worse#and worse. they’ll wait weeks before doing anything. it’s embarrassing. and depressing. if I let it go long enough I am miserable every day#after being homeless or on the verge of homelessness for 10 years my dad can’t even appreciate the fantastic house we have 😭#he has to fuck it all up. it’s not 100% his fault bc my sisters do fuck all but he DID teach them to be this way. the only reason I do#anything is because I snapped out of planning to kill myself and realized that I needed to be there for my sisters. so I started being like#their parent more and more. but they still never learned to unload the dishwasher or take out the trash without screaming about it.#I’m just very overwhelmed and nervous about this move. I also feel horrible as if I’m disappointing my mom if I don’t move in. I don’t want#to disappoint her any more than I already have..#she is soooo excited about giving me a room the basement so I can have my bunnies there..
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spacedlexi · 1 year
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trying to keep all my clemviminnie thoughts contained until i get to episode 3 but
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its hard
#telltale was CRAZY for this btw!! the drama of it all ALWAYS gets me#violet blaming herself for her gf/minnies death. clem helps her open up again. starts dating clem. finds out minnie is still alive?#saved violet telling clem she has nothing to worry about and she'll fight minnie if she has to to keep clem and her loved ones safe#kidnapped violet getting brain poisoned by minnie into turning against clem after feeling betrayed and abandoned by her#saved vi shooting minnie to save clem!!!!!!!!! but cant leave minnie behind because she already left her once and she cant do it again#vi begging minnie to stop trying to fucking kill them but shes too far gone. the 3 of them fight to the DEATH!!!#now add all that to the parallels and dark mirrors going on between clem and minnie in the A plot like the tension is off the charts#plus the parallels you can draw between clem and vi but those are less “you are my dark mirror” and more “we are the same i understand you”#HOW are the girlies not still talking about this#you know what i partially blame myself i dont talk about it enough either. i forget how many things ive left in my wips folder sometimes#UGH its all so good violets route just ads so much Flavor to the clem/minnie plotline its Delicious i couldnt imagine it Not being there#i neeeeeeeed to draw them fighting and being gay and maybe bloody even#if u cant tell i really want to get back to that wip i posted a few weeks ago but im Trying to Restrain Myself#i love forcing myself to take things slow sometimes really makes the brain shift into overdrive#twdg#violentine#it speaks
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