#can never have enough doom title drops

[thelvadams]

DOOM: THE DARK AGES (2025) • dev. id Software

Launch the Slayer.

[xcherricutie]

๋࣭ ⭑⚝ shit sandwich ᯓ★

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[Shadow the Hedgehog × Reader]

[Word Count - 2k]

[Summary - Forced to become a villain, you think your life is completely over, but a certain hedgehog shows you otherwise]

[Tags: Swearing. Idk if you could tell by the title but there's a lot of swearing. Shadow drops an F NUKE. Reader is written as a female human, but you can read however you like, it's never mentioned. Pretty platonic, mostly just the reader and Shadow bonding over their misery]

[Notes: I'm gonna be honest, Shadow is super OOC in this, I was kinda just having fun. I was listening to Loser, Baby from Hazbin Hotel while looking for oneshot ideas, and this came to me. I haven't written Shadow, or even played any games featuring him aside from SA2 in a while, so he might act a little silly goofy. I also wrote this in one night and it's 2 am so y'know]

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It wasn’t supposed to be like this. You had a life once, hopes and dreams that you aspired for. You didn’t ever let life get you down, always looking on the positive side. And you felt like you were actually doing pretty good in life. You had your own home, friends and family. You felt like you were at the top of the world. You didn’t think anything could take you down, turn your world upside down. 

And then he appeared. Just plucked you up from the streets as you were walking home one day. Told you no one would miss you, that he was doing you a favor. In one fell swoop, your whole life had been ripped from your grasp, and you lost everything, at the hands of the mad scientist, Doctor Eggman. 

He had promised you a better life, said you were the first in a series of experiments to create artificial life. He had stripped away your humanity, turned you into a monster for his own use. He turned you against your own friends and family and forced you to attack your hometown as a “starting point”. You were his very first biotechnical android, trapped by the code he put in you, turning you into just another villain for his archenemy to take down. Your doom had already been sealed the moment he took you that fateful day, and the only thing you could do was watch. 

You let out a pained cry as your back hit the wall of a dark alleyway. As you slid to the ground, your bleary vision landed on the silhouette stretching before your feet, the moonlight casting the shadow of your foe. You tilted your head up, ignoring the pain that shot through your back and neck, your eyes immediately drawing to the bright red pools glaring down at you. You knew you were dead the moment you had become an android, but it was just your luck that you were up against the morally grey side of the hedgehog counterparts. Shadow the Hedgehog, once someone who had worked alongside the Doctor, now someone who went around destroying everything related to the Doctor, regardless of innocence. Not that you were innocent anymore, you knew you had to accept your fate, but Shadow didn’t make it any easier. 

You didn’t even bother trying to speak on your behalf. You were fully capable of it, you had freedom on that part. The only thing in your life you couldn’t control was the strong urge to destroy everything in your path. You couldn’t resist it; it was in your own coding to destroy without regard. So there was no point in trying to prove your own innocence. 

You couldn’t even fight anymore, Shadow had made certain of that. With your eye blackened and swollen, your bones ached and begged for you to stay down. Every twitch of your muscles made them throb, leaving you to lay on the ground, waiting for what you could only hope to be a swift end. But it seemed your luck wouldn’t allow that, as the sound of his approaching footsteps stopped just before you. 

You forced your head to lift just enough to see what the holdup was, brows furrowed in confusion as you looked up to see his face. The moonlight shone down through the cloudy sky, his body blocking the light from you, surrounding you in his cold silhouette. But through the darkness, you could see his bright red eyes, and the confusion in them. 

“Why?” 

You almost didn’t catch his singular word of question. Blinking, you looked up at him with wide eyes, your mind disoriented and foggy. You had even begun to wonder if you had imagined it, until you heard his gruff voice speak up, much more annoyed this time. 

“Why are you doing this? You look like just a regular person, you don’t have any business with the Doctor,” Shadow spoke, bending slightly at the hips, staring into your eyes. You could only look up at him in shock, astounded that he would even take the time to ask you such a question. From everything you had heard about Shadow, he wasn’t one to ask questions. He was more the type to act first, ask questions later, or so you had assumed. What was so different now? 

“Don’t make me ask again.” Shadow’s eyes squinted, his patience quickly thinning. You swallowed thickly, taking in a quick, shaky breath. You had your opportunity to explain yourself, so why? Why were you hesitating? 

You had nothing to return to. Even if you somehow got out of the situation you were in, you had nothing left. Your friends and family were gone, running away from you. Your home was gone, your whole life was gone. This was all you had left, all you were. The villain you had been forced to become had consumed you and became your entire identity. 

You didn’t even realize your cheeks were soaked with tears until you choked on a sob, squeezing your eyes shut as you turned your head away in shame. You didn’t have any right to shed tears, you were a horrible person, weren’t you? Even if you were forced, even if you tried to resist, you had still done bad things. You still had to accept your responsibilities and let go of the hope that you could go back to your old life. 

Shadow’s eyes widened as he watched you turn away, raising a shaky hand to your face, trying to wipe away your tears. He couldn’t wrap his mind around you, around why you were like this. You showed up without warning some time back, going around city to city just destroying with reckless abandon. Or so that was how it had seemed at the time, but with the way you were breaking down in front of him now, he had his doubts that you enjoyed it or even wanted it. 

“You don’t want to, do you?” 

Your hands slowed to a stop as you looked up at Shadow, your tears streaming freely now. Hesitantly, you shook your head, unable to open your mouth. You were surprised he had even deduced that much, but then again, Shadow had been defying your expectations since the second you met him. 

Shadow sucked in a deep breath as he stood up straight, before looking down at you with what you thought was an almost sympathetic look. Your eyes widened as a hand was suddenly stretched outward to you, your gaze snapping between the hand and Shadow’s eyes. You only took the hand when you noticed Shadow’s growing impatience, his eye twitching with irritation. 

“What did he do to you?” Shadow asked, pulling you up and onto your feet, leading you out onto the sidewalk. You rubbed your arm nervously, tempted to just make a run for it, knowing you were stuck like this no matter what. The look Shadow gave you told you it was a bad idea to even think about trying, making you exhale in enervation. 

“Turned me into an android,” You muttered, avoiding Shadow’s gaze. You closed your eyes, as if to try and block out the world, your voice barely above a whisper. “I can’t control it. Sometimes, it’s just an accident. Sometimes, he forcefully directs me towards places he wants gone. I was just a normal person before he took me away from my home. I can’t go back even if I wanted to, he made me destroy everything I cared about.” 

You didn’t open your eyes to see his reaction. You didn’t care to see it; you didn’t want to see the pity in his eyes. You didn’t want your enemy pitying you, unable to help you. What could he do? Besides destroying you, there was nothing Shadow could do to help you, as far as you were aware. 

“Your whole existence seems fuckin’ hopeless,” Shadow muttered, making your eyes snap wide open as you looked down at him, completely dumbfounded. You didn’t think you’d ever heard anything quite as rude as the words that had just come from his mouth. You could feel yourself bristle as your fists clenched, nearly splitting at the seams with anger when Shadow’s voice dragged you from your violence-filled thoughts. “You think your life is wrecked, huh?” 

Your eye twitched with anger, rolling your eyes heavily as you slumped down onto the edge of the sidewalk, your muscles aching too much to care about fighting him. Just as you sat down though, you felt Shadow’s presence just behind you, an almost evil smirk pulling at his lips as he bent down to your level. 

“Well, let me just say, you’re correct,” 

“Wait, what?” You looked back at Shadow with wide eyes, your gaze lifting from his shoes as he backed up, up to the small smirk on his face as you met his stare. 

“You’re a loser, a fucked up whiny bitch,” Shadow’s grin grew almost sadistically as he noticed you flare up with anger, your fists clenched as you tried to get up, your tired muscles keeping you down. However, just as you had begun to turn away and ignore him, you heard his voice drop to a mumble. “You’re a loser, just like me.” 

Slightly surprised, you tried to shrug it off as you hugged yourself, giving Shadow the middle finger as you faced away from him. “Thanks, asshole.” 

Shadow rolled his eyes, but couldn’t help the smile that graced his lips, an odd feeling blooming within him. He didn’t think he’d ever relate to anyone’s situation, let alone sympathize, but he supposed there was a first time for everything. 

“There was a time I thought no one could relate to me, but letting walls down can sometimes set you straight,” Shadow stood beside you, shooting you a small smile, as if to comfort you. But the glint of sadism hadn’t quite faded as his canines flashed. “We’re all living in the same shit sandwich.” 

You looked up at Shadow in shock, before an almost airy feeling washed over you, a giggle escaping your lips. And just like that, you had completely forgotten why you were mad in the first place, returning the smile as Shadow sat beside you. 

As the silence filled the air once more, your gaze was turned onto the full moon in the sky, basking in its cool blue hues of light. You sighed deeply, eyes drifting shut as you hung your head down. “I’m trapped and it gets worse with every hour.” 

Shadow stared down at your small, miserable form, before his eyes jumped to something in the distance, avoiding you as he spoke. “You’re a loser...” 

Shadow watched you bristle in the corner of his eye, making him smile as he continued. “But just maybe, if we eat shit together, things will end up differently.” 

And just as soon as he had angered you, Shadow had somehow stunned you into silence, your eyes staring into his. Your silence dragged on for an awkward moment, as if waiting for him to say some new obscenity to anger you, but it never came. You rolled your eyes, scoffing as you smiled. 

“You know, you make a pretty shitty friend,” You said, your words making Shadow chuckle softly. 

“So I’ve heard. But I mean it,” The smile on Shadow’s face faded as he turned to you, looking you directly in the eye. “I can find you the help you deserve. You shouldn’t have to be forced into a life of servitude for that man, and I’ll make sure you can get back a better life.” 

Shadow stood up, holding a hand out to you. But this time, you didn’t hesitate or think about it, placing your hand in his own, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. Once again, Shadow had defied your expectations, pleasantly surprising you with his odd offer of something akin to a friendship. 

Perhaps it wasn’t meant to be like this in the beginning. You had never intended for your life to go this direction, but maybe it didn’t have to be so bad now. You had finally found the positive side, and had something to look forward to again, alongside your new friend, Shadow the Hedgehog.

ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ

[holylulusworld]

Come to heaven

Title: Come to heaven

Written for @buckybarnesbingo (Round 6)

Card: B004

Square Filled: K5: handle with care

Ship/Main Pairing: Mobster!Bucky Barnes x Ex!Reader

Rating: Mature

Major Tags/Triggers/Warnings: angst, jealousy, ex! sugar babe trope, drunkness, fluff, hopeful ending

Summary: Making amends is hard.

A/N: Lyrics in Italics taken from Bruno Mars' "Locked Out of Heaven"

Word Count: 1,7k+

BBB BuckyBarnesBingo 2024 masterlist

Catch up here: Go to hell

Written in reader’s PoV

Bucky tries to slip his hand into your panties, but you wrap your hand around his wrist to stop him. This is how he always made you compliant and stopped any argument.

“No! Not this time.”

“No?” He sounds surprised. Of course, he’s surprised. You always gave in and let him seduce you. Pleasure and having his attention, even for a fleeting time, was better than thinking about the future, or your non-existent relationship.

“No!” You stiffen in his arms. “Let go of me. I won’t let you do this to me all over again. It’s always the same. You stop me from speaking my mind with your lips, hands, or cock. I’m done being a sexual object, a toy you can play with to you.”

“Doll, I…” Bucky reluctantly releases you from his embrace. He steps away to watch you turn around. “What do you mean?”

“This,” you press your hand to your heart, “was yours. I admitted my feelings and waited for you to at least tell me that I mean a little more to you than a set of holes you can fill. But…” you sniffle but put a brave face on, “you couldn’t even give me that.”

“So, you want to go back to that old man and his limp dick?” He scoffs in an attempt to hide the hurt.

“Even if I’m not in love with him, I know exactly what he wants from me. He won’t make promises of keeping me safe and happy only to turn his back on me the moment I tell him that I love him. With him, I know what I’ll get.”

You try to sidestep Bucky, but he blocks your path. “That’s it? You’ll leave me for that man without giving me the chance to make things up to you.”

“James,” you gently cup his face and look him in the eyes. “You can’t make things up to me with gifts or sex this time. I asked you if you can imagine having a relationship with me. You gave me your answer. It’s my turn to tell you that what you have to offer is not enough.”

“Not enough?” He’s confused. “But I…”

“Money and shiny things cannot replace what you are unwilling to give,” you give him a sad smile. “As much as I enjoyed our time together, it’s over. We both knew it’d end like this. This kind of arrangement is meant to end sooner or later. There is nothing we can do about it.”

You press your lips to his scruffy chin, ending what began as a passionate one-night stand with a soft kiss. “Goodbye, James. I hope, one day, you’ll find something worth being more than…” Your voice cracks and you drop your hands from his face.

“Y/N,” he tries to grab your hand but you step away the moment his fingertips brush your skin. If you give in to him now, you’re doomed to repeat history. “Wait, I can try to be better.”

You give him a weak smile. “No, you won’t, James. You never had to try, and that’s the problem. Your good looks and reputation made everything so much easier for you than for other men.”

He allows you to leave, watching you go to join your companion for the rest of the night. Bucky will sulk in a corner, drinking too much while wishing you’d stayed by his side instead of laughing about the things the old man by your side says.

Bucky is close to losing his patience. He’d hoped scaring the man you chose over him would be enough. Much to his chagrin, your companion from last night is rather amused about Bucky’s presence.

Erik Lehnsherr lived long enough to fear nothing. Not that he ever feared anything else than his own mortality. But at his age, even that fear faded a long time ago.

“I don’t understand why you are here, Mr. Barnes,” Erik leans back in his chair, an amused smirk on his lips. “Do we have business to do? I don’t think so. I’m old, not forgetful.”

“If you release Y/N out of her contract with you, I’ll pay you any sum,” Bucky tries to get you out of your sugar girl arrangement with the old creep.

“A contract?” He quirks a brow. “The lovely lady accompanying me last night came with me to make sure I’m not alone. We don’t have an arrangement. She’s just a lovely young woman spending time with me to help me with my paperwork.”

“Paperwork?” Bucky eyes his concurrent warily. He’s a master at reading people and finding lies behind a friendly smile. “She’s your employee?”

“A freelancer, the young people call it these days,” Erik holds back a chuckle.

When you offered to join him at the party, you told him everything that happened with James Buchanan Barnes. The man breaking your heart. Erik promised he’d do anything to make the fool let you go see that he made a grave mistake.

“I’m old, not someone creeping on young women,” he adds after a long pause. “I had my fair share of lovely ladies and gentlemen when I was younger.” Erik eyes Bucky up and down. “You’d be on top of my list if only I was thirty years younger.”

Bucky backpaddles. He eyes Erik warily before clearing his throat.

”What exactly is Y/N doing for you?”

“I already told you that she does my paperwork. I believed I was the old man here. Maybe you should get your memory checked, young man,” Erik chuckles. “If you’d excuse me now. I’m waiting for a massage therapist. A pretty boy getting this old man going…”

‘Old creep’, Bucky thinks to himself before leaving without saying goodbye. “At least he doesn’t creep on Y/N. That’s a pro.”

Bucky drove to his best friend to release some steam. He told Steve everything about you and the stunt you pulled to make him jealous.

“She tricked you,” Steve can’t help but laugh. “Man, you’ve got yourself a smart little cookie. I bet she tried to wrap you around her finger.”

“I fell for her lie so easily,” Bucky huffs. “I believed she’s riding that creep’s dick. Now I know, she put on a show to get my attention, not to rub it under my nose. My sweet doll is missing me.”

“Well, if she’s your sweet doll try to treat her better. She deserves someone to take good care of her.”

“Steve—”

“No, Buck. You need to handle her with care,” Steve won’t let his friend get away with a false excuse. “Y/N got hurt by you once, Buck. I don’t want you to make the same mistake twice.”

You walk a little faster to outrun Bucky. He’s following you around town, a bouquet of roses in his hands.

He tried to convince you to move in with him, promising the world to you.

“Go away,” you huff. “I don’t know what kind of game you are playing, but I won’t participate. Just leave me alone.”

“You know that you can’t run away from me in those shoes, right?” Bucky smirks when you stop in your tracks to look at the colorful thongs you’re wearing. “I never understood how you can walk in these…”

“I like to feel the sunshine and air on my feet,” you point out. “Not everyone wants to run around in polished leather shoes all the time.”

“Ouch,” he snickers. “Come on, baby doll. Let’s have lunch together. Give me the chance to show you that I can change.”

“Bucky,” you sigh. “You don’t get that I can’t go back to what we had.”

“Y/N,” he drops the roses to cup your face. “I don’t want to go back to what we had. Baby doll, let your Bucky treat you like a queen.”

“I don’t want you to treat me like a queen,” you wrap your hands around his wrists to pull his hands off of your face, “only like someone you respect and love. I want you to treat me like your girlfriend. But you can’t give me that.”

“Baby…”

You look on the ground. “Please pick the roses up and give them to someone who wants to become your next sugar babe. I’m out of this for good.”

Again, you walk away. You’re holding your head high and ignore the ache in your heart as you leave Bucky behind.

'Cause you make me feel like I've been locked out of heaven For too long, for too long Yeah, you make me feel like I've been locked out of heaven For too long, for too long, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah (ooh) Oh, yeah, yeah Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah (ooh) You bring me to my knees, you make me testify (ooh) You can make a sinner change his ways (ooh) Open up your gates 'cause I can't wait to see the light (ooh) And right there is where I wanna stay (ooh)

“What the fuck!” You yell out of your window. Bucky parked his car in front of your apartment complex. He’s singing along to a song, begging you to take him back. “It’s 2 am Bucky! What is wrong with you?”

He turns the volume down and kills the engine before waving at you.

“Baby doll,” he slurs. “I came here to bring you home. ‘m missing you, doll…Please come home.”

“SHUT UP!” one of your neighbors yells out of their window. “Do you know how late it is?”

“It’s 2 am,” Bucky yells back. “Stop yelling so loud. You’ll wake the neighbors!”

“BUCKY! Stop being so loud!”

“Baby…can I come up and cuddle you?” He grins dopily when you slam the window shut. “She loves me!”

“SHUT UP!” Your neighbor yells.

“Shut up!” Bucky yells back. “OH…there you are…” He stumbles toward the door when you get out. “BABY DOLL!”

“Bucky,” you hiss and grab his hand. “Stop yelling and come with me.”

“You look pretty in your pajamas,” he purrs your name and wraps himself around you. Bucky nuzzles his face in your neck and sighs. “Without you, I’m in hell, doll. Forget about that old creep and go for Bucky.” He mutters against you.

You sigh deeply. “Fine, come with me to heaven. You can bunker on my couch. In the morning, we will talk about impulse control and not yelling in the middle of the night.”

Tags in reblog.

[bloody-bee-tea]

Summer of Doom 2025 Day 1 - Where am I?

Welcome to Summer of Doom 2025 where I'll be posting a fic every second day with various levels of hurt (and always that good old comfort). The title will always be the prompt and if I used any additional prompts to decide the direction of a fic, I'll post them in the beginning notes. You can also find all the prompts here on Tumblr I hope you enjoy!

This fic also marks my 1,200th fic, which is actually kind of completely insane but the numbers don't lie🥳🥳🥳

The additional prompt used for this was "Slurred speech"

Hitoshi tries to keep his breath nice and even all throughout classes. His side still hurts like a bitch though and he knows he should call off training with Aizawa, knows that it's not smart to train with a cracked or maybe even broken rib, but Hitoshi can't bring himself to do it.

Because if he were to cancel then Aizawa would ask why and Hitoshi can hardly tell him that he upset his foster father and got a beating out of it so bad that he can barely move today.

Aizawa would be beyond disappointed with Hitoshi and would maybe cancel training altogether, would throw Hitoshi back in the gutter where he belongs, and Hitoshi simply cannot do it.

He needs this. He needs this training, he needs to know that there's a chance for him to get into the hero course and most of all he needs one adult in his life who does not outright have it out for him.

Hitoshi is aware that it's dangerous to latch on to Aizawa like that, but he has been nothing but nice to him; sure, he's strict and expects Hitoshi to always do his best, but he isn't setting impossible standards and even when Hitoshi messes up, he's not cruel about his punishments.

Aizawa is fair and kind of predictable in a way in how he deals with Hitoshi and all his short-comings and that's something Hitoshi desperately craves in his life, so telling Aizawa that he was so weak, that he let his foster father walk all over him like that—sometimes even literally—when Aizawa has spent so much time into training him is a sure-fire way to disappoint the man and make him think all his efforts were for nothing.

And Hitoshi is not going to live through it should Aizawa drop him.

Afternoons spent with the man and the slim hope that maybe Hitoshi can be a hero are the only positive things in his life, the ones that keep him going despite everything and Hitoshi would literally rather die than tell Aizawa about how weak he actually is.

So telling him to take it easy today is a no-go and Hitoshi will just have to suck it up and somehow make it through the afternoon.

He can try and see if he can get Aizawa to do some quirk training today, but Hitoshi is not holding out hope on that front. Aizawa has a pretty rigorous plan that they are following and today is very much not a quirk training day, cause that is tomorrow.

Hitoshi has little to no hope that he's going to change the plan on a whim and he figures that maybe it's better not to ask at all.

If he asks, Aizawa will think that something is up and Hitoshi simply cannot have that, because for all that he's good at talking, he's absolute shit at lying to Aizawa. He's going to look through Hitoshi in seconds.

No, Hitoshi will just have to somehow make it through today, cracked ribs or not, and then he gets four days to recuperate with no physical training.

He can totally do this and four days will totally be enough to recover.

Easy.

~*~*~

It's not easy, Hitoshi realises with startling clarity when Aizawa's strike catches him in the side and something simply gives.

His strike wasn't even hard; Aizawa is always very careful to never hit Hitoshi like he means it, but his ribs were clearly more injured than Hitoshi thought because one solid impact is all it takes for something to shift in his chest and the pain that follows is blinding enough that he immediately falls down, a startled yell on his lips as fiery hot agony spreads out from his lung.

This is bad, Hitoshi hysterically realises when Aizawa's eyes go wide, even though he's by his side a second later and when Hitoshi coughs up blood not even a moment after that he realises he's fucked.

"Shinsou, what happened?" Aizawa demands to know and there's a frantic note to his voice, something Hitoshi has never heard before.

Aizawa is always stoic and composed; he has a dry sense of humour, but never has Hitoshi heard him panicked or uncomposed.

Hitoshi tries to speak but sucking in a breath proves to be the exact wrong move to make because the pain gets worse and he lets out a pained sob. Which of course, also makes things worse.

"Is it your chest?" Aizawa asks and reaches for Hitoshi as if he wants to check for himself and Hitoshi jerks back on instinct because he's in pain and someone larger, someone stronger is reaching for him.

"Don't, please don't," Hitoshi cries out, the pain in his side so bad his vision gets spotty.

"What hurts?" Aizawa snaps out and his tone demands an answer and it's almost instinctual to reply.

"Ribs. Lungs," Hitoshi somehow chokes out and he doesn't understand why Aizawa's face would go pale like this.

"Okay, shallow breaths, Shinsou, and don't move," he tells him as he gets out his phone. "I need immediate medical assistance at Gym Beta, possible fractured rib and injured lung," Aizawa rattles off to whoever he speed-dialled and Hitoshi tries to stay alert, tries to keep his consciousness but the pain is so bad and he can hardly breathe and before Aizawa even hangs up, everything turns dark.

~*~*~

Hitoshi wakes up to an incessant beeping noise that is so much more annoying than his usual alarm. He tries to shut it off, tries to reach out for it and make it stop, but he can't move, is barely aware of his body at all and everything sinks back into soft darkness when a hand moves through his hair and says "Don't move. Sleep some more."

Hitoshi almost wants to lean into the voice because he knows he's safe with it and the voice is always right, so Hitoshi does as he's being told.

~*~*~

Hitoshi is way too hot when he comes to next. He feels as if he's burning up and he struggles to get his covers off him because they are suffocating him but then hands close around his wrist and Hitoshi goes ice-cold with fear.

"Don't, Shinsou, it's okay. Don't try to move yet."

The voice is low and dark and Hitoshi might be confused but he clearly hears the threat for what it is, but he's also burning up and he needs to do something, so he does what he does best.

He begs.

"Please, please don't hurt me, it's so hot, please."

He's not sure if his words are even audible because his mind feels muddled and he's barely able to feel his mouth but something must have made it out alright, because the hands around his wrists retreat.

"I'm not here to hurt you, Shinsou, you're just very sick," the voice says and Hitoshi sobs because that's a lie if he's ever heard one.

Everyone is always there to hurt him and he guesses him being sick is as good a justification to hurt him as anything else he's heard his entire life.

"I'm sorry," he mutters, trying to shrink away from the hand that is coming up to his face but the sudden movement makes pain spark bright and hot in his chest and he lets out a pained noise.

"Don't move, you're safe," the voice says again and it only now occurs to Hitoshi to maybe raise his eyes to see who is about to hurt him but before he can, he slips back under.

~*~*~

When he regains awareness the next time he remembers to blink his eyes open properly. Everything is blurry and kind of too bright and there's a haziness to it all that convinces Hitoshi that this is nothing more than a dream.

The person-sized cat in a police uniform at his bedside only cements that belief.

"Kitty," Hitoshi mutters, weakly struggling to get his blanket off because he's still way too hot, but then the cat looks at him and Hitoshi freezes.

The implications of the cat wearing a police uniform only hit him now and even though he knows this is a dream, he knows how this goes and he goes cold with dread.

But he's had this dream often enough to know how to play along and make it end sooner.

"You're here to take me to Tartarus," Hitoshi whispers out, his voice so weak and so rough that it's a wonder the cat even heard him but Hitoshi guesses it's a cat.

Their hearing is so much better than a humans.

"I'm not," the cat says, with a perfectly normal human voice and the room tilts around him when Hitoshi tries to shake his head.

"I know you are. I'm just. Sorry. I didn't mean to be a villain. I'm sorry about what I did, I promise."

It's important to him that this cat-officer knows that, even though it won't change a single thing and he'll end up in Tartarus anyway.

"Shinsou, you didn't do anything," a new voice says and just like that his dream splinters apart because when Hitoshi tries to turn his head and look over at whoever just spoke everything starts to spin and then Hitoshi is falling into darkness again.

~*~*~

When Hitoshi regains consciousness the next time, everything is dark and there's a green-ish sheen to everything, as well as the ever-present beeping. It's unsettling and Hitoshi lays as still as he can, trying his hardest not to draw any kind of attention to himself.

He looks around as best as he can, and he freezes up when he spots a person next to his bed.

The person seems to be asleep, and Hitoshi knows he needs to do everything to keep it that way, because should that person wake up they will surely hurt him again.

Hitoshi is only ever safe when no one pays him any attention after all.

He wants to look around the room some more, to see if he can maybe figure out where he is but he is afraid that the person will wake up as soon as Hitoshi takes his eyes away from them, so he keeps staring and staring, trying to figure out if he knows the person but with the darkness and the eeriness of the green hue and with how fuzzy his brain still feels, he can’t place the person at all.

Hitoshi must have stared so hard that he woke the other person up, though, because the body moves and then they blink their eyes open and Hitoshi slams his shut as fast as he can.

The beeping in the room gets faster and suddenly Hitoshi has a hard time breathing; the panic feels like a steel band around his chest and his breath comes out too fast and too shallow.

The peeping gets worse, and Hitoshi is pretty sure that it's indicating that danger is so, so close and then there's a hand on his.

He yanks his hand back, setting off a dull pain in his chest and the person next to his bed sucks in a surprised breath.

"Hitoshi?"

He doesn't know this voice, is pretty sure that he's never heard it before and tears spring to his eyes when he realises that he must have been placed with a different foster family while he was asleep.

One where he doesn't know the rules, where he doesn't know how to avoid getting hurt, where he doesn't know what will get him hurt and for one stupid moment he thinks that he doesn't even want to know.

He doesn't want to know anything anymore.

"Hey, kiddo, can you hear me?" the voice asks and Hitoshi wonders what will get him punished more; ignoring the voice or replying to it and before he can make his mind up about it, he loses consciousness again.

~*~*~

When Hitoshi wakes up, he feels rested, which is almost more confusing than the ceiling he is staring up at.

He has never seen that ceiling and he's definitely not used to waking up and feeling okay and something has to be going on here. Something he needs to figure out, and fast, because not knowing might get him hurt.

"Hey, kid," Aizawa says from his side and Hitoshi lets his head roll to the side.

Aizawa looks rough, for a lack of a better word. His hair is in complete disarray, his jumpsuit is so rumpled that it's visible and his eyebags are worse than ever. He doesn't just look tired, but bone-deep exhausted and Hitoshi wonders what could have caused this.

"Where am I?" Hitoshi slurs out, finding it hard to speak for some reason and Aizawa is quick to offer him some water.

Hitoshi takes a few sips from the straw and before he knows it the glass is empty.

"How are you feeling?" Aizawa asks and just like that, every sluggish and warm feeling Hitoshi felt drops away.

Aizawa avoided his question. He didn't acknowledge it and he didn't answer it and that's all Hitoshi needs to know that he must have fucked up somehow.

"I'm sorry," he whispers and looks away from Aizawa because keeping eye-contact is always a sign of defiance and Hitoshi really can't afford to make Aizawa even more mad. "I didn't mean to, I'm so sorry."

Hitoshi doesn't really know what he's apologising for but with the state Aizawa is in and this almost clinical room Hitoshi is being held in it must be something really bad.

"Hitoshi," Aizawa sighs out and drags a hand down his face. "What are you even apologising for?"

He sounds so disappointed, so upset, and Hitoshi squeezes his eyes shut.

"I—I must have done something," he says, careful not to turn it into a question. "I mean, you look really exhausted and this room is a holding cell."

"We're in the hospital," Aizawa tells him and Hitoshi flinches.

"I hurt someone."

"Kid, seriously. You're the one who was hurt," Aizawa tells him and Hitoshi blinks in confusion.

Him being hurt doesn't equal to being in the hospital, so he really doesn't know what's going on here.

"I don't understand," he finally admits and when he tries to take a calming breath, there's a dull ache in his chest.

He raises a hand to rest it on his sternum and Aizawa nods.

"Do you remember?" he asks him and it's clear he's expecting him to but Hitoshi is drawing a blank.

"No," he admits and hates how his voice shakes around that one word.

"You came to training injured," Aizawa starts and immediately Hitoshi ducks his head.

"I'm sorry."

"Kid, will you please stop it with the apologies? You being injured was hardly your fault."

The reminder that he was hurt shakes something loose in Hitoshi's brain and he moves his hand to the side, to where his injured rib is.

Aizawa tracks the movement easily and he nods.

"Yeah, your ribs were hurt. I hit them again during our fight and they broke. One of them pierced your lung. You've been in the hospital for the last week."

"Oh," Hitoshi breathes out and for one moment everything is kind of okay and then panic slams into him. "I can't be here," he shakily gets out and watches how Aizawa pinches the bridge of his nose.

"Let me guess: your foster family told you they wouldn't cover your medical expenses," he almost growls out and Hitoshi shrinks back in his bed.

"It's expensive," he argues, because he knows it is and a broken bone hardly ever warrants a trip to the hospital.

He can kind of understand why a pierced lung would land him here, but a week?

"Especially if it's been a week," he weakly adds and Aizawa lets out a measured breath.

"Okay, first of all, a pierced lung is a serious injury, Hitoshi. You could have died. Second, you caught a pretty bad infection from it and also almost died from that. A week is nothing for that kind of injury, or these complications you experienced from it and you’re likely going to have to stay here for a while yet because of the severity of your injuries. Third, the state is legally covering all of your medical expenses. Yes, your foster family has to mostly pay up front but they get every cent back if they fill out the appropriate forms. So how expensive a medical treatment is should never have been a concern. Ever."

Hitoshi takes a moment to digest that information and he lets out a bitter laugh when the pieces finally slot together.

"It's a bit hard to justify regular trips to the doctor for injures that were clearly sustained during a beating," he mutters to himself because of course no one would want anyone to look into that.

"Yes," Aizawa agrees, clearly having heard him, and he sounds mad. "But you don't have to worry about that anymore. I am going to fill out those forms for you and even if the state wouldn't pay it back, Hizashi and I have more than enough money to cover this. But everything's covered under our health care now, because you're underage anyway."

"Under—your health care?" Hitoshi can't help but to ask because he doesn't understand what's going on anymore and Aizawa nods.

"You've been out for a week, Hitoshi, you missed a bit," Aizawa says with something that could almost be a smile and despite that, dread settles in Hitoshi's gut.

"What happened?" he whispers because for all that he doesn't want to know he needs to; needs to know what new challenges his life will hold from now on and he needs Aizawa to tell him now.

Which thankfully he does, even though the words hardly make any sense.

"After you collapsed, you were committed to the hospital. Since I didn't hit you hard enough to truly break your ribs we had to figure out where you first got those injuries and with the way you've been speaking about your foster family—mainly that you aren't, especially when you need to explain away some bruises—I've had an investigation opened. A detective I know has a quirk that lets him detect verbal lies and he was leading the investigation so it literally took five minutes to confirm that your foster father was responsible."

"So?" Hitoshi blurts out, because this is hardly the first time someone comes to that conclusion. It's usually closely followed by 'and you deserved it' in some variation and he’s just bracing for that now.

"So? He was arrested, of course." Aizawa regards him for a moment before he—clearly already suspicious—asks: "What did you think would happen?"

"Nothing? I mean, it was my own fault, and I—I've—with my quirk—" Hitoshi gets out, his breath coming short again and Aizawa takes his hand in his.

"Breathe. It's okay, you're safe here," he almost softly says and then just sits there and breathes with Hitoshi until everything is more or less normal again.

"What he did to you—and what previous foster families might have done to you—was in no way your fault and you definitely didn't deserve it. Your quirk should have never played a role in this. You don't have a villainous quirk." He hesitates briefly. "Do you really think that one day you'll go to Tartarus?"

Hitoshi pales at hearing that because he's never told anyone about that, never mentioned that that is his deepest fear but then a memory surfaces.

"The cat-officer. That wasn't a dream?"

Aizawa huffs out a laugh.

"No. That was Sansa, the partner of the detective I mentioned. They were here to let me know about the progress of the investigation and to place you into my custody."

"The cat-officer is real?"

"He is a man with a cat quirk who happens to pick a career as a police officer," Aizawa mildly tells him and Hitoshi can feel himself flush bright red.

"Oh," he breathes out and feels incredibly self-conscious about all of this now before the rest of what Aizawa said hits him.

"Wait, they placed me in your custody?"

"Well, mine and Hizashi's, seeing as we're married and you're going to live with both of us."

"But—you're going to be my foster father." Hitoshi can hardly believe that because why would Aizawa want to do that, and it must very much be audible in his voice because Aizawa frowns.

"You don't sound too happy about that. If you want to stay somewhere else, I can make it happen."

"No!" Hitoshi almost yells out and he only mildly feels embarrassed by his outburst. "It's just—are you sure? I let myself get hurt and—you must be disappointed, right? Not to mention all the hassle I caused with this and the money and time you must have already spent on me with the hospital visit—"

"Hitoshi," Aizawa very seriously says and Hitoshi immediately shuts up, because it's clear that he needs to listen.

"You are not a hassle and you haven't caused me any. Getting hurt wasn't your fault, or something you let happen to you. You were hurt by someone who was supposed to take care of you, and that is not on you. And I am not disappointed. If anything, I am sorry for not stepping in sooner."

Everything Aizawa is saying is making Hitoshi's head spin and he's pretty sure he's going to pass out again sooner or later, but he needs to hear it one more time.

"You're going to be my foster father," he repeats and Aizawa softens.

"Yes. If you want that, then yes. I mean for now you're under my custody regardless, but if you tell me you don't want that, I'll get Tsukauchi back in here to find you a different family."

Tsukauchi must be the detective Aizawa mentioned before and Hitoshi wonders if he can somehow get him in here to see if Aizawa is lying about wanting to foster him, but then again—Aizawa has never lied to Hitoshi. He's always incredibly upfront and almost blunt with his words and statements and a lie like this would be irrational on all fronts and something Aizawa hates.

"You really mean it? You want to be?" he dares to ask because he needs to hear this and Aizawa immediately nods.

"I do mean it. I want to be your foster father and give you a home."

Hitoshi can feel his eyes start to burn and he closes them against the tears. Aizawa must notice what is going on though, because he carefully pats Hitoshi's head.

"It's alright, kid, I promise it's going to be alright now."

Hitoshi takes in a shuddering breath—for which his lung doesn't thank him—and then he leans into the contact.

He hopes that he won't wake up later and it turns out this was just a dream as well and despite the way he's fighting to stay awake so he can live in this dream for a little while longer, his body decides the matter for him when everything goes heavy and warm and then dark.

(When he wakes up hours later, Aizawa is still there and he tells him the same things. And he does it again and again until Hitoshi is allowed to leave the hospital and then still, he tells him, until he finally believes.)

[richincolor]

New Releases - February 11, 2025

We have four books on our calendar for this week. There's a lot of magic between the covers of several of the books along with a little haunting and a bit of music too.

(S)kin by Ibi Zoboi Versify

From award-winning, New York Times bestselling author Ibi Zoboi comes her groundbreaking contemporary fantasy debut—a novel in verse based on Caribbean folklore—about the power of inherited magic and the price we must pay to live the life we yearn for.

Fifteen-year-old Marisol is the daughter of a soucouyant. Every new moon, she sheds her skin like the many women before her, shifting into a fireball witch who must fly into the night and slowly sip from the lives of others to sustain her own. But Brooklyn is no place for fireball witches with all its bright lights, shut windows, and bolt-locked doors.… While Marisol hoped they would leave their old traditions behind when they emigrated from the islands, she knows this will never happen while she remains ensnared by the one person who keeps her chained to her magical past—her mother.

Seventeen-year-old Genevieve is the daughter of a college professor and a newly minted older half sister of twins. Her worsening skin condition and the babies’ constant wailing keep her up at night, when she stares at the dark sky with a deep longing to inhale it all. She hopes to quench the hunger that gnaws at her, one that seems to reach for some memory of her estranged mother. When a new nanny arrives to help with the twins, a family secret connecting her to Marisol is revealed, and Gen begins to find answers to questions she hasn’t even thought to ask.

But the girls soon discover that the very skin keeping their flames locked beneath the surface may be more explosive to the relationships around them than any ancient magic.

Reign of the Talons (Talons #3) by Sophie Kim Entangled: Teen

How do you kill a prophecy?

The Prophecy has arrived…and with her, war.

A prisoner caged within the walls of her own mind, the once-fierce assassin known as Shin Lina can do nothing but watch as a tide of blood and chaos sweeps across the Three Kingdoms. After all, Lina is the one who unleashed the malevolent Prophecy upon her world.

So many secrets. So many lies. And it’s all her fault.

Yet Haneul Rui—the immortal Dokkaebi Emperor who stole her heart—refuses to surrender. He alone leads the armies against the dangerous, serpentine Imugi. He alone wields his scorching fire atop blood-soaked battlefields, and he alone rallies his soldiers against a terrifying future of death and destruction.

Now the red thread of fate ties them all together in love and hatred—Rui, Lina, and the merciless Prophecy herself. And the more Lina fights against her destiny, the tighter the thread becomes.

For they are bound in both life and death; to wound one is to wound them all. To kill the Child of Venom is to kill them all.

And soon, not even the wrathful gods themselves can stop their inevitable ruin.

Ghost Queen by Mahtab Narsimhan Orca Book Publishers

Hey, Ghosties, this is the Ghost Queen tuning in from the most haunted place in India!

Teen vlogger Malika’s ghost hunter channel is almost popular enough to start earning money to support her family. All she needs is one viral video—and she knows exactly where she’s going to get it. Bhangarh Fort is the most haunted place in India, rumoured to be home to the cursed princess Ratnavati and her wicked captor. Malika convinces her boyfriend to sneak into the fort with her after dark and record the experience for her avid fans and followers. That’s when things go terribly wrong. Can the “Ghost Queen” escape, or is she doomed to spend eternity trapped with a mad magician and the princess who rejected him?

This short novel is a high-interest, low-reading level book for teen readers who are building reading skills, want a quick read or say they don’t like to read! The epub edition of this title is fully accessible.

Dropping Beats by Nathanael Lessore Little, Brown Books for Young Readers

Thirteen-year-old Growls (aka Shaun) is an aspiring (awful) rapper who hopes to enter this year’s Raptology competition with his best friend, Shanks (aka Zachariah). After all, what better way to land his crush (Tanisha) and get the respect he finally deserves than winning the contest and going viral?

But when a livestream practice goes epically wrong, the two friends do go viral– and not in the way they’d hoped.

Now the laughingstock of the school, Growls is sure he’ll never have another chance to date Tanisha. Even worse, Shanks has gone MIA, leaving him terribly alone.

But when Growls meets the new girl on the block (Siobhan), things don’t seem so terrible after all. And with some patience, a little luck, and a whole lot of practice, he just might win the Raptology competition and be a hero to both Siobhan and Shanks.

Either way, he’s ready for this. He’s steady for this. It’s comeback season and they call him comeback king for a reason.

[beebobeebo]

Title: Wolf's At the Door, But Which Side?

Fandom: Justified

Characters: Raylan Givens & Tim Gutterson

Relationship: Tim Gutterson x Raylan Givens (Givenson)

Follows: Dog on a Leash. Wolf at Your Feet

https://archiveofourown.org/works/59316340

AO3 Link:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/65544973

Summary:

"We have doomed the wolf not for what it is, but for what we deliberately and mistakenly perceive it to be –the mythologized epitome of a savage ruthless killer – which is, in reality, no more than a reflected image of ourself."

-Farley Mowat, Never Cry Wolf: The Amazing True Story of Life Among Arctic Wolves

...

"Happiness is a warm puppy.”

- Lucy from Peanuts

"You insulted me once," Tim drawls into the phone. "Before you ran off to live in a grotesque Kenny Chesney song."

"All Kenny Chesney songs are grotesque and I am hand-to-God certain I insulted you more than once," Raylan says as he swipes a broom under his eaves. Willa almost had a full come apart over a wasp nest yesterday.

"This time, you meant it, and it hurt."

Raylan almost drops the broom. "Are you, Timothy Gutterson, admitting to me that I hurt your feelings?"

"Yes."

"Is this court-ordered?"

"They prefer the term mandated," Tim responds dry enough his voice crackles.

"You—" Raylan stops and shakes his head, nostril flaring. The line is quiet except for the subtle clink of ice on the Dallas side of the conversation.

"Someone called me a dog. You just let that lie. You even agreed."

"I like dogs. Loyal. Cute. Can use them to protect what matters."

Tim sighs hard enough Raylan can almost feel his breath through the phone.

"That's it."

"What that you're a cat person?" Raylan jokes. He's knocked the clearly empty wasp nest down and is sweeping the remnants out into the yard.

"That you'd use me. That I was another tool for you to pull out of your cowboy utility belt."

God damn it. Raylan stops mid-sweep.

"You're not a tool. Not in the useful sense. Bein' the other kind right now." Raylan carries the broom and gently places it in the little closet by the front door. He can hear a low hum echo in his ear. "You mean to get drunk and shame me for not defendin' your honor?"

"I got drunk, 'cause I realized I don't have many friends left." Tim clears his throat. "I called you to see if you really felt that way 'bout me. Got my answer."

"Another one?" Raylan asks softly. He leans back against the wall and slides down to sit by the entryway shoe rack. He picks up one of Willa's sneakers and taps it against the ground so that the lights in the heel blink pink and purple. Tim's breathing slowly on the other side of the call.

"Another. Was Will this time." Tim clears his throat. "Everybody who never thought of me as their dog is dead."

"Goddammit, Tim. You're more than that, "Raylan argues. There it is, that tone he's fought to keep out of his voice off the clock. "You're more than my friend even if you don't want to admit it."

There's that hum again. It's thick with something strong enough to dull the pain, but not quite kill it.

"Raylan, I don't hurt easy."

"I don't think that's true. I think you hurt and bleed the same as everyone else, you just hide it. Act normal so no one knows you're injured."

"Like a dog. Like a goddamn dog," Tim spits into the phone hard enough to make Raylan wince. "Maybe I'm fuckin' tired of it."

"Then don't. C'mere." Raylan hears the rustle of cellophane and the scratch of a lighter's flint. He can tell it's bad enough that Tim is throwing every low-level vice he can justify at the ache in the murky depths of his soul. What's a cigarette to a decade hovering near burn pits? What's an insult to a broken trust? What's a dog to the hand that feeds?

"I come there, what happens? You give me a treat and tell me I'm a good boy. Then what? Then what, Raylan? I go back to tendin' sheep like a good dog? That what you want?"

Raylan lets his head thunk back against the wall.

"Tim, you're not a dog. You're not a tool. You're a person." Raylan hates that his own voice is thicker than Tim's and he hasn't had anything stronger than sweet tea. "When's the funeral?"

"Tuesday. 'Fore you ask it's closer to you than me," Tim answers. "You askin' to be my plus one or my handler?"

"Just your friend." Raylan drags his teeth over his bottom lip. "Take some time. I'll take some. We'll go somewhere you can see the stars."

"Not a farm upstate where I can run in the sunshine?"

"Get on a goddamn plane, Gutterson."

The line goes dead.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ▄︻デ╦═一━ ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩.

Tim's all broad shoulders and dark fabrics steamed to perfection. He looks good in uniform. What he doesn't look is comfortable. He looks like he wants to pull his flesh from his goddamn bones and crawl into the grave with his friend.

It's quiet now that the service has ended and everyone is filing back to their respective vehicles. Tim and Raylan are the last of a few stragglers waiting to say goodbyes before giving the family a moment alone with the pile of fresh soil covering someone they loved.

There weren't nearly as many people at this funeral as there were the last one Raylan attended for moral support. He can see Tim counting attendees over and over. It'd been five, maybe six years, since that last time and the number of people in uniform had shrunk by twice the number of years.

"I'm sorry for your loss," rolls off Raylan's tongue as he squeezes the hand of a wife without a husband. He tries to smile sympathetically at the boy, only a little older than Willa, standing beside her, but it all feels too fake even for him.

Tim hugs the woman and she clings to him like he can somehow restore the link she had with her husband. Their voices are low enough that Raylan can't hear the whole world between them as they're pressed cheek to cheek, but he watches Tim lean back and shake the boy's hand.

"Looks like his dad. Spittin' image." When the boy hugs Tim around the middle, he doesn't pull away. Paradoxically, it's the only time he's looked at ease all day. He momentarily rests his cheek against the head of dark curls, before speaking up, "I should go. You'll have family who want to see this guy real bad today."

"Don't be a stranger," Will's wife insists. "Not that you've ever been anything but strange."

That gets Tim. Raylan sees the shift in his shoulders and the jerkiness of his head bob in reply. When he turns on his heels, he's blinking fast and Raylan can see the gloss of tears on lashes.

"We need to get to the car," Tim says softly as he passes Raylan.

"Yeah."

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ▄︻デ╦═一━ ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩.

Raylan insists on getting a hotel. Tim's not going to make it a ten-hour drive back to Miami. Shit, he barely makes it to the hotel room.

"'S me," Raylan says as he opens the door. "Got you a burger and a bottle. We'll have a drink—"

Tim's sitting on the end of the bed exactly like Raylan left him. He hasn't even undone his tie. Raylan sets everything on the room's desk.

"Let's get you comfortable. You've been in shoulder pads longer than an eighties soap actress."

Raylan loosens Tim's tie and starts on the jacket when long fingers close around his wrist.

"I am often compromised by the gravity of what I've done at the direction of others. When do your hands cease to be your own?"

"Tim?" Raylan instinctively touches his friend's damp cheek.

"That's the last thing Will ever said to me. Then his kid needed him and he had to go," Tim whispers and starts the methodical process of undressing and hanging up his dress uniform. Raylan steps aside and watches him.

"Who owns what you've done, Raylan? Is it you or the person who made you do it? What if it's an ask and not an order? I don't want to be a dog on a leash, but if I ain't that am I the wolf at the door?"

Raylan sits down and pulls off his boots.

"See, you're tryin' to shove everything into a goddamn box. Why do you have to be either? You don't have to be anything but Tim."

Tim hangs his uniform in the bureau. He runs a hand down the buttons of his jacket as he stands in his undershirt and boxer briefs. Turning to Raylan, he quietly says, "Will and I… We were… If you feed me, I'll keep comin' back."

Raylan lets out a deep breath and holds out a hand. "C'mere. Sit with me, honey."

Tim twitches at the term of endearment, but he walks over and lets Raylan drape an arm around him. He doesn't comment when Raylan slides a finger under the chain of his dog tags. He hadn't worn those since Mark.

"I didn't want to be the person who came crawlin' back or the danger. I didn't want to be the call comin' from inside the house or the asshole beatin' at the door."

"Tim, your friend died. You want to make this somethin' more than it is, 'cause you need it to mean somethin'. Sometimes shit happens." Raylan pulls him closer. "You're not a dog, a wolf, or any fuckin' animal. You're a man who needs some comfort."

"If I cry and you say a goddamn word—"

"Well, a hit dog do holler."

"Fuck you, Givens," Tim says as he presses his face to Raylan's chest.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ▄︻デ╦═一━ ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩.

Raylan is soft, gentle with his sleeping lover. After what they've spent the last couple hours doing to each other's bodies, Tim deserves a little tenderness, a post-coital kindness. His fingers skate over Tim's back. Even with the added muscle, he can feel each notch of his spine.

They haven't been tangled up like this in a long time. Tim in Dallas and him in Miami with Winona and Willa. Lives that had slid apart.

Had Tim spent that whole time thinking Raylan saw him as a tool, a dog even after they'd been together?

Tim had almost killed a man for him with his bare hands years ago. The thought of losing Raylan drove Tim to that dark place he's been worrying about going back to. And what had Raylan done? Turned away from that to make a go of it with his ex-wife. He really had hoped to give his kid something normal.

That hadn't worked. All he'd done was lose a decade of something more than phone calls and rushed sex with someone who meant so much more.

"What did I do?" Raylan whispers against Tim's temple.

Tim shifts and yawns. He blinks awake in a haze that almost seems drugged.

"Whaddya do? You fucked me to sleep, 'cause I was bein'… weird," Tim drawls. His lips find Raylan's. "Made me feel like a man."

"You are a man. My man. Think we both needed to remember that." Raylan kisses along Tim's jaw.

"Remind me again."

"I think you need to remind yourself," Raylan answers rolling onto his back.

"Makin' me do all the work? Didn't I say—"

Raylan reaches up and silences Tim with his fingertips.

"This ain't makin' you do anything, honey. This is me trustin' you to know what you need. That's what it comes down to, right? Not bein' at somebody's every beck and call, but also knowin' that you'd never hurt the person you love. You're not a pet, but you ain't feral either."

Tim swallows and tries to joke, "Unless tequila is involved."

Raylan slides his hand around to cup Tim's cheek. "Well, if we start nit-pickin' like that I shouldn't be let inside. I'm barely house broke."

Tim dips his head and kisses Raylan in that long slow way that feels like a plea for forever. The thought that Tim would ever think of himself as an animal is ridiculous. He's never met anyone more human… or able to bend back like that to grab the lube. It's almost a lude thing for so graceful a gesture.

"Why're you lookin' at me like that?" Tim asks as his spine seems to remember the laws of physics.

"'Cause I love you. Whatever you call your damn self, I'll love you."

From there the kissing is frantic. Raylan's body is covered in bite marks and bruises that he'll draw Tim's hands to again later. He'll beg for a thumb to dig into his purpling chest over his heart. Because there will be an "again".

All this and Tim is teasing himself to open up for Raylan, to make his body more amenable for Raylan's pleasure. Raylan's teeth dig into his lower lip as a slight rush of guilt that maybe he's the wolf, luring the dog away from the safety and shelter of humanity. For what? His company?

Fuck that. Tim's come willingly with the full knowledge of Raylan's failings, his temper, and all those things that make him less than domesticated.

"Shit, baby," he sighs out as he buries a hand in Tim's hair. "Certainly marked your territory."

Tim laughs and straddles Raylan properly, fingers digging around the pronounced collarbone beneath him.

"You don't own me, but I am yours. I think it goes the other way too. No matter how fuckin' dumb we are about it."

Raylan smiles and then has every thought erased from his mind as he feels pressure against the head of his cock.

Tim spreads his knees further as he sinks slowly. His lips parted and eyelids heavy, he's everything Raylan's mind would slide to on lonely nights. Sometimes on nights he was very much not alone.

"Fuck your tight," Raylan sighs out as his lungs fight for some portion of his brain power. He braces a hand against Tim's back.

"Yeah? That work on everyone else when you say it?" Tim asks. His own blown pupils are doing nothing to say it didn't work just a well on him.

"Yeah. True with you."

"You lie to everyone else?" Tim teases as he starts to move slow enough for Raylan's hand on his back to give an involuntary swat.

"Not ev-everyone, but never you," Raylan chokes out. Tim reaching back to stroke the seam of his sack with a long teasing finger makes Raylan bury his fingers into Tim's thigh hard enough to feel sinew. There's a heartbeat in his palm and a curse on his lips.

They fall into a rhythm that never fails to please. They work together like that. Always have.

Raylan comes like a thunderclap and he's not even ashamed of the whine and whimper when Tim draws out every sensation.

When his senses fade back he slowly strokes Tim as he whispers how goddamn much he loves him. Watching Tim's face contort from something so peaceful into open pleasure threatens to make Raylan half-hard again. The way Tim coats his stomach doesn't do much to dissuade that.

"C'mere," Raylan says after they can both breathe. They curl up on the mess of each other and drift back to sleep.

Tim mumbling something about "promised stars" is the last thing Raylan hears before blissful slumber.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ▄︻デ╦═一━ ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩.

Raylan pauses on his way up the rise to look at Tim's back. He'd promised Tim stars, so he was getting stars. Raylan would have preferred it somewhere flatter and more boot-friendly, but the dark stripe of sweat where Tim's shirt is clinging to his back is worth a few blisters.

"You think we've gone far enough?" Raylan calls.

"That your way of sayin' you're tired?" Tim replies. He turns so that the setting sun catches his profile. "I'll get shit set up. Take a break, old man."

Raylan snorts and goes to sit on a nearby log. Tim seems looser with a clear assignment and the promise of being alone. Raylan only stands to help when it's time to stretch out the flannel blanket.

Tim lies back when they've got it sorted. The splashes of warm colors across the sky are giving way to the moon and stars.

"Why'd you pick here?"

"Someone left a one-star review."

"You know that's bad, right?"

"They said they got dizzy. Felt like they were fallin' into the sky." Tim rolls his eyes and scoots over when Raylan eases down. "Heard wolves howling. Review read like the poor bastard was about to shit his pants."

"This is why you don't get to pick restaurants, "Raylan whispers as he rests his head on Tim's bicep. "Thought that wolves would be a bad thing considerin' where your head's been lately… also I don't wanna get eaten."

"You're too lean to be worth the effort. All leg bones," Tim replies softly as a velvet dark falls over them. "My head's on a little straighter now. A dog or a wolf… that was just me worryin' about if I had any say in what I did and could I live with my choices. Was I really a piece of shit if left to my own devices?"

"And?"

There's the soft howl of a wolf from miles away matched not long after by the baleful sound of a hound dog replying.

"I'm me. Bein' me got you lyin' here beside me. Can't be all bad."

Raylan looks up at the glitter of stars as the distant calls fill the night.

"Nah."

NOTES:

"Guard Dog Tim" and "Wolf Tim" and whatever you want to throw at him... He's just some dude named Tim.

[sadruru]

… WHO AM I KIDDING? I REALLY WANT TO SHARE!!! Had a long fight with the translator. Enjoy reading and you can cry with me. Warning: the event itself and story takes place after the game! And I'm not good at giving titles.

"Shadows of the past, tears and promise."

An unfamiliar town in the River Kingdoms, located near Daggermark. Night was falling. There was little chance of finding Melissa in this place. She had lost control of herself after her encounter with her father and ran as if in a panic, dropping the blade.

What she had dreamed of for years - to avenge the betrayal that had completely changed her life - had never come to pass. Though it seemed much simpler than it really was… Cursing, Woljif picked up her weapon from the ground and ordered the leopard to go looking for her as soon as possible, knowing full well that Melissa could be expected to do anything. He could only rely on Fluffy's sense of smell.

Jefto caught a glimpse of the tiefling boys, twelve and eight years old, peering out of the dilapidated house. How much they looked like her! Woljif remembered well the look in Melissa's eyes when she first met the kids. It was as if her eyes were asking "Why?" in desperation. The girl had always known she was likely to have a younger brother or sister, and did not wish such a fate for a child - to be forever doomed from birth. How fate likes to joke… Ah, yes. Woljif did not forget to cast one last glance at the drunken man who was repenting and weeping at the feet of the chief, still cursing himself for what he had done. Tiefling did not feel the slightest pity for this drunkard and knew perfectly well what he had done. In every detail.

Angry sparks flashed in the eyes.

Melissa's stories about her life still gave him conflicting feelings. They seemed contrived for effect, but in fact they were cruel truths. They had recently passed over a bridge where, long ago, a little girl in a dirty sack had been thrown into the river like an unwanted kitten.

Death would have been too easy a punishment for the bastard, but this was not his revenge.

Fortunately, the search didn't take long. Woljif returned to where they'd been staying for a while. It was run by a formidable-looking, gray-haired mercenary, whom Melissa simply called "Grandpa Fro," as she had as a child. Her father had once worked with him, but then he'd left, taken over the Dancing Lights tavern, and… Now it didn't matter anymore. The house from memories had long since turned into a den for “wealthy persons”. This unexpected fact upset and angered her no less.

However, when Woljif returned, the sight of a grim old man, a couple of mercenaries beaten to a bloody pulp, and a building trashed from the inside was enough to realize how bad things were and where he should go.

As he climbed the stairs to the second floor, the tiefling smelled the pungent odor of alcohol and shuddered. With each passing second, Jefto felt disgusted and nauseous. No, this wasn't the harmless smell of alcohol you could smell in any tavern. It was far worse and more frightening.

A nervous smile touched his face. How everything was reminiscent of the past. Only now he wasn't that weak boy and could do something about it.

A deep exhale. He walked through the door.

Honestly, he'd rather forget what he'd seen.

The situation was repeated. She lost herself again.

Melissa didn't notice him at all. Or didn't want to. The “long-awaited” reunion with her family had finally worn her out. There was strange laughter and mumbling in the room. Attempts to get out of bed were futile, the girl just collapsed on the floor. The bottle in her hand continued to empty, as did the others standing nearby. As far as he could remember, Melissa had never knowingly drunk herself into unconsciousness.

This is nothing like what happened in Drezen. If it had seemed like an oppressive silence then, now it was a terrible storm.

He didn't want to do it, but he had to. After all, Woljif had promised….

A blow. Silence.

The tantrums stopped, she looked at the young boy.

It was very difficult to get through to a man in such a miserable state, but through luck Woljif could find the right phrases. At least he hoped so.

After the sobering slap and words, Melissa's eyes became more and more meaningful. They reflected realization, shame, and tears….. Tears ran down her cheeks on their own.

"D-don't look at me…", was followed by a sorrowful whisper.

Tiefling well remembered the image of a confident woman, ready to bravely stand up for her gang as a mountain, meeting any adversity with a cheeky smile and raring to fight. Nothing could stop this fury.

But all the while, the mental wounds hurt the most. Especially when there was no one to trust.

Now he saw the normal, weak girl clinging to him and crying loudly, longing for comfort. She had told him many things without stopping. Absolutely everything she was feeling and thinking at the moment. But not everything he could make out.

How long had Melissa tried to keep it all to herself, each time putting on a mask and hiding from other people's eyes?

Even through the clothes, the young man could feel the strong grip of the claws. Painful, but bearable.

She was finally opening up to him, for real. Jefto never stopped wondering how often he'd discovered new things about her.

Her sobs, of course, brought no relief. How to ease her sorrow? How to comfort her? Just say, "Everything will be all right"? Stupid… Woljif didn't know what to do at the moment. Everything irritated him: the situation itself, his own helplessness, the reason for it all. His heart tingled unpleasantly, but he held on. The only thing the tiefling could do was hug, listen in silence, and wait.

After a while, the flow of speech was interrupted.

"… Feel better?"

"A… A little. Give me… A few minutes", Melissa said with difficulty. Her tongue was still slurring.

"Take your time. We're in no hurry anyway. Let's just say I'm returning the favor."

"W-what are you talking about?"

"You forgot about my grandpa in the Abyss, and then what did you do? Now we're even."

Woljif pulled Melissa tighter against him and gently stroked her head. Gradually the crying and sobbing stopped. When he felt the girl soften in his arms, literally falling asleep, he laid Melissa back on the bed as carefully as possible. He grinned slightly at the thought of what a well-deserved hell of a hangover she'd have the next day. The consequences of such a binge would be very diverse, he knew that for sure. Tiefling wondered what and how she would say in her defense. What should he do then? Tease or scold? Encourage or keep quiet?

…Never mind, he'd figure it out later. She'll probably sleep through lunch from exhaustion, and nothing will wake her up as usual.

Let her sleep soundly. They would have an easier time tomorrow with a fresh head. In the meantime, he had time to think about what had happened. They still had a serious conversation to have.

Woljif sat down beside Melissa, wiped the tears from her cheeks and, taking her palm, said quietly:

"Don't worry. I'll be there for you." …

Woljif was still pondering how and by what miracle fate had brought them together, and how they were alike and yet so different from each other. He wondered how such a woman had fallen on his head and turned his world upside down.

"This is insane", the young man said aloud without realizing it himself.

Melissa often said that phrase when she was confused about something. He seems to have picked up the habit from her. How much influence did the River Kingdom bandit have on him? So strong that he was willing to follow her through fire and water. It wasn't like the old Woljif, who changed gangs like a glove.

But even now, Woljif's mind was spinning with her words - words he'd heard after the commander had helped him out of a bad situation and deal with Hepzamira's minion, Voetil, for the first time:

"Listen, Curly. I'm not mad at you and I can understand why you ran away. Everyone wants to live. You're not a bad guy, really. I can see it in your eyes. But you just a little mean~. Anyway, there's nothing stopping me from helping out for nothing. I never asked anyone to trust or follow me. That's entirely your choice."

At the time, the tiefling didn't believe in all this nonsense about friendship and loyalty. Moreover, Melissa was in agreement with him! But somehow those words had nurtured the first sprouts of change in him.

Well, that's in the past. Woljif finally knew what it was like to have real friends. What's worse, he has a whole new, unfamiliar feeling in his life. Now he knows firsthand that love is a far more dangerous and ruthless thing. Love can show up at any moment and even drive anyone to insanity: from a mighty king to a simple thief.

.....

I didn't wait for the AO3 invite and decided to post it here. Okay. All right.

You could consider it a “bonus illustration”. But if it were possible, it would be the cover for this short story. I'm making a separate version of Woljif. It'll be just right for my computer desktop, hehehe. There will be a version with Melissa too! >:з Uh... Writing a short story was my sudden impulse. I was morally depressed. Really. But I feel better now. I also listened to The Birthday Massacre - Diamonds a lot while I was painting this:

[baenyth]

Bethany's Bizarre Miraculous Reviews: Episodes 5-10 and 5-11: The Scarabella, Kitty Noire, and Butterfly Miraculous Two-Parter!

Honestly, I'm chilling with this. Zoe was relevant for, like, two episodes. I want her to have more character than just being the new holder of the Bee after Chloe was groomed and had a relapse. Also in general I'm tired of all this Marinette focus. Frankly, I think there should be hour-long Miraculous specials focusing on other side characters of the Miracucast. It can be called the [characters] hour and can have a cute title screen like this!

And when we finally get back to Marinette we get:

Anyways, on with the show.

Depression

title theme reference lmao

Aromantic Marinette

Even the 'not there' message is depressed!

She took down all the pics with no Adrien. Now there are only my favorites up there.

I'm still unsure about this. Marinette was only implied to have gotten over her stalking. What if she'll relapse with Adrien dating her?

Oh. They're partying.

Monarch, that's your son.

See? At least you have some standards.

Dramatic Irony but the party makes me want to deteriorate

Oh hey! Zoe's being sane!

Throw the ring once he's out of sight. Throw it.

Evil-ass smile. Guess he doesn't have as many standards as expected

Eh. Close enough.

And now the Kwamis are breaking up with the holders!

Damn, Monarch hit the jackpot!

Freedom

And yet she still cannot admit her love for Adrien.

And now they're planning. Alix died for this.

Oh, so they were going to go with Alya and Nino!

Yes! Sane Zoe!

Ah, that's the ring thrown!

Honestly, Zoe's already ready for this! Girl's smart! I'm starting to really like her!

Acting

Oh boy. They still trust the Alliance rings.

Wait, the second intro's still Alya? Couldn't we get a brand new intro one time like the Parallel Paris Special?

Honestly, I like the dynamic Scarabella and Kitty Noire have! It's bright and they both add in spice.

Foosball with myself

meta

Damn, even Alya's getting tired of this narrative.

Cheese

Chloe jumpscare

Oh hey! Chloe eats ice cream alongside sushi and bananas! Probably rarely!

New headcanon: Zoe has contemplated killing Chloe before. She came to the conclusion she wouldn't be able to get away with it.

Also doesn't Plagg just love stench in general? I know he doesn't like people mistreating owners nice to him but the point still stands.

Oh! Here it comes!

At least he's got style for himself.

Spy TF2

Oh boy. They made Chloe into a goofy Saturday morning cartoon villain.

Does anyone have any good classical allegories for what Marinette is going through? Sisyphus is about fixing a mess that keeps on spawning, maybe Tantalus? Marinette is being pressured to pursue Adrien, but can never reach him. And when she does, the apocalypse happens. Would the apocalypse happen if Tantalus finally grabbed the fruit or drank from the water?

I don't think even Chloe's VA wants to do this anymore.

The horror

Adrien and Marinette nearly got together, and the apocalypse is starting once more. Doomed relationship.

Yes! The battering ram! Countering invisibility! Rose elbow dropping Monarch! Get his ass!

So does the Resistance do anything past this special or was all this for nothing? Also I'm gonna go read a fic where Alya apparently calls out Marinette for stalking Adrien. It sounds good.

[daveslutstaine]

It's been a while since I've made a proper blog post (and this is a music blog after all), so here is a band I've been wanting to talk about for a while. I never thought I would enjoy ambiance music, but this band made their way into my heart. Ladies and gents, I present to you all, Love Spirals Downwards

Beginning with their first album, and the first one I listened to by them, Idylls.

Shades of blue, the images of crashing waves, the rippling of water, immense cliffs overlooking the vast oceans, these are the images I get when I listen to Idylls. The first thing I noticed during my first listen of the album is the simple riff that starts off the first track and the calming effect it had on me. LSDs' founding member, Ryan Lum, has a talent for writing music that makes me feel like I'm floating through the air over open fields on a downcast day. The music is greatly complimented by their beautiful singer Suzanne Perry, with her ethereal voice further placing me under the music's spell. Even when she sings complete nonsense, I find myself feeling the music deep within my heart. Speaking of the lyrics, a lot of the songs have nonsensical lyrics or they are poems that, to my knowledge, Suzanne wanted to use as lyrics for LSDs' songs. In terms of my favorite songs they are: "Illusory Me", "Scatter January", "Stir About The Stars", "Drops, Rain, and Sea", and "And The Wood Comes Into Leaf".

The next album is one that I have been playing a lot lately, so much so that I can safely say that it is my favorite album by Love Spirals Downwards.

Ador by Love Spirals Downwards has been playing both in my head and on my phone for over a month now. This album is like lying in the middle of room with sunbeams and swirls of pink and white dancing all around me. Lums' guitar does its magic in transporting me to a different place, while Perry's angelic voice continues to enchant me. The opening song "Will You Fade" truly made me feel as though I were fading away into a different world. The next song titled "Sidhe" is one of my favorites! Though the lyrics are the lyrics of another song on this album played backwards, I still adore it. It almost feels like an ancient chant that's been lost to time. I remember at one point trying to search up the lyrics because I actually thought that that was the case. It just feels like something that's been forgotten, only to be rediscovered and brought to life by Lums' music and Perry's voice. And on the topic of songs that make me go AAAAAAA, the song "Avincenna" is my favorite on this album. Listening to it makes me feel as though I caught a glimpse of Heaven itself. The lyrics are Psalm 119, which is incredibly fitting considering that this song almost sounds like "Hymn of The Cherubim" by Tchaikovsky. It is much shorter than Psalm 119 since they had to condense it in order for it to fit the song, but the message and emotions it invokes is the still the same. Other songs I love are "Depression Glass" and "Write In Water". Overall it's a really good album if you want something calm but full of emotion to listen to! I cannot recommend it enough!!!

Next up is an album that I don't reach for a lot, but it's enjoyable nonetheless! This is Ever

This album seems to get pushed to the background a lot, and after giving it another, more focused listen, I think I found the reason why. It's not a bad album, but from my perspective, it's just doomed to live in the shadows of their more popular works like Flux. Maybe people see it as Flux Lite, especially since the opening track titled El Pedregal does sound like it would be better suited for Flux. Same can be said for Madras. That song almost sounds like Nova. The rest of the album sounds so toned down in comparison to the two previous albums. There's more acoustic songs on Ever than on Idylls or Ador, and Flux doesn't have many acoustic songs on it either. I will say, the inclusion of the acoustic songs on this album doesn't automatically make it a bad album. I do enjoy "Sideways Forest" and "Cay at Dawn", along with other songs on this album, but it's definitely a more chill and less energetic album. Though it lacks that feeling of an ancient and forgotten era that the first two albums have, I would still recommend giving it a shot.

And now on to their final album, the ever popular Flux

This is the album in which the industrial vibes hit you full force. Beginning with the opening track titled "City Moon", the album gives off the sensation of blurred city lights on a rainy evening. It almost feels like walking in a big city, with the whole world disappearing around you as the music envelops your senses. At least that's how it comes across to me. It's a simple track, with Perry's voice seemingly fading into the background, like a siren's call that's just barely audible. The instrumentals paint most of the picture, with a clean yet pleasant guitar sound to tie everything together. The next track, "Alicia", to me feels like a continuation of "City Moon". The feelings in the song are nearly identical, with the only difference being Perry's more prominent vocals in this song than the previous one. From there we find ourselves listening to "Sound of Waves", a song with made with all the hallmarks of a LSD song with a hint of a futuristic tone to it. This trend continues with the next song "Psyche", which interestingly enough is sung by Suzanne's sister, Kristen Perry. Little fun fact, Kristen was originally going to be the vocalist for LSD, but she never did end up being the voice of LSD. It's so fascinating to hear her sing in this band. Her voice is lower than that of Suzanne's, but for "Psyche", it's oddly fitting. And now I can finally talk about my favorite song on the album, and that is "Nova". This song truly captures the industrial feeling of the whole album, with the classic LSD dreampop sound, accompanied by an incessant, monotone beeping sound that to some people may be unpleasant, but I like personally enjoy it. It gives off the impression of concrete, machinery, and green light. Even Perry's distorted vocals work fantastically here. She sounds as though she were a beacon of hope out of the oppressive grey by being the green light guiding me out of there. It's a strange song for Love Spirals Downwards, but it's my favorite for that reason. "By Your Side" and "Ring" break that setting and go back to the city type feeling, with Kristen Perry back on vocals for "Ring". "Ring" is interesting to me in that there's this underlying anger to that song. Now I fully understand that that's probably just me misplacing an emotion onto that song, but I don't know. I guess it's just the way Kristen sings on this song, but something, something on this song gives off that impression. Maybe it's just me, but I don't know. "I'll Always Love You" is definitely the most calming track on this album. It sounds like something that would play in the background of those diner paintings, if that makes any sense? It's also kind of a grey looking song, but the hints of blue make up for that. I actually enjoy listening to it on rainy days since that's what it looks like to me. And lastly, we have "Sunset Bell", ending with a song that's a mixture of classic LSD and the futuristic vibes of Flux. More distorted vocals, but with the background more focused on the sounds from Ardor. It's a beautiful song that balances the ancient with the modern in a lovely way, and I love it immensely for that!

Anyway I hope you guys enjoyed my unintelligible ramblings and hope you guys give LSD a shot some time! See ya!

[elvesofnoldor]

it makes me sad whenever i see Lestat suggested that Louis was a greater love than Nicki, when Nicki was actually the the truest of his loves. VC literally never had one (1) single wholesome romances, it was literally never a love story, except! of course a romance that occured between two characters when they were still living human. But Nobody could see this because everybody was busy not understanding why Nicki and Lestat's relationship fell apart and why Nicki was mentally ill/depressed.

Honestly it's partially Anne Rice's fault, she made Nicki talked like in abstracts in his break-up scene with Lestat. He was all "your light" and "darkness in my heart" and shit, he spoke like a depressed tolkien character so how is anybody supposed to know what he's talking about. Plus, because Lestat never knew why Nicki was miserable in the first place, he couldn't make the readers understand either. But all the clues are there, it's not hard to piece together the whole picture.

Nicki was the son of a wealthy merchant, despite not being born of aristocrat blood, he lived a life in luxury and was afford the best education. Hell, his family was rich enough that with his allowances Nicki could afford lessons with Mozart. the best of best musicians of his time. Fucking Mozart. He was educated to become a lawyer, a respected member of bourgeois class. Now, Nicki's racial coding is very vague, but he had curly hair and dark skin, which made me wonder if he had Romanian heritage, but that doesn't have to be the case. Either way, to belong with the higher society of French European bourgeois was probably considered a great privilege for Nicki. But then he decided to pursue a career as a violinist and ran away with Lestat to Paris and threw all of that out of the window to live in poverty with Lestat. Now, consider how scandalous what all of that would have looked to his rich Parisian friends and his family, he eloped with his lover (another man) to pursue a doomed career in the arts, can you imagine what sort of vile insults were being said behind his back and into his face? Lestat mentioned that Nicki's friends actually visited Nicki once, and they never even bothered to speak to Lestat. Do you ever wonder why they visited Nicki in the shitty apartment he shared with Lestat? Is it simply social calls? now, life in poverty wasn't that big of a deal with Lestat, since his failure of an aristocrat family wasted most of their family wealth away and they mostly just lived in a shitty broken castle, all title no wealth. Lestat already experienced much hardship in life from a very young age, and doing lowly manual labours to survive isn't that big of a drop in quality of life for him. Of course Lestat loved the luxuries that Bourgeois enjoyed: the frock coat, the pretty jewelries, but frankly he enjoyed those things the way um, a poor gay kid from 1980s dressing up for balls enjoyed jewelries and designer clothes. He was never part of bourgeois class nor had he ever wanted to be part of it, not the way Nicki aspired to actually belong in that society or cared much for high society's rules. Nicki told Lestat once that he enjoyed "sin", at that point in their conversation, they were talking about arts and theatre, so yes im sure "sin" was partially about Lestat's love for low brow arts. However, it was also quite obvious that he was actually talking about their relationship. And yeah honestly it's just Nicki's internalized homophobia talking. I don't think Lestat agreed, probably cause his mom always told him it's not a bad thing to be different and to be "an outsider", but Nicki probably did not have parental figures or friends in his life who taught him to believe in these things.

Yet Nicki was still very much in love with Lestat, Lestat made him very happy. I know what he said in a heat of passion and despair afterwards, but Nicki did not come to Paris cause he harboured some sort of nefarious intentions. He simply believed that being in love with another man was inherently sinful and bad, because you know, internalized homophobia. Being in love with Lestat made him happy, so he believed that the happiness he felt must also be bad and sinful. Basically he felt that being happy is a symptom of moral corruption, he only deserved to be miserable and live in guilt at all times. When Lestat could not understand his pain, it made him feel even more alone and miserable. Yet despite all of that, when Lestat could not understand his perspective, he retracted to himself because he did not want to burden Lestat with his misery. Lestat was with him, and to Nicki, surely he could ignore his own pain a little longer, a little better because of it! Except that of course Lestat would leave him very soon. Lestat soon confided in him that someone was stalking him, and shortly after Lestat went missing and has gone AWOL for months! months! Lestat was told that Nicki was worried sick, and i think in fear and in paranoia and grief, Nicki started to suspect the very worst and most bizzare. Months and months of horrible grief only for Lestat to gift he and their friends a luxurious apartment and their theatre. Nicki felt abandoned, he felt insulted that Lestat thinks material wealth is more important to him than his company. Lestat was the only thing that made life bearable for Nicki, and it broke Nicki's heart that Lestat thought he could have a life without him. So when Lestat came back to him dead and wrong, all Nicki's love in his heart turned into hate, and he lashed out at Lestat. Lestat has made him feel so miserable and alone, so he intended to hurt Lestat back. In fact, at that point his grief and paranoia probably led him to convince himself that Lestat either never loved him or didn't love him anymore. Again, Nicki thought that one person who made life feel like worth living, that one person that gave his life any meaning at all, just didn't want him anymore.

Lestat spent 60 years in a painful relationship with Louis but he had so little self-love that he considered 60 years of pain better than 6 months of bliss. All because what? Nicki coped with being dead and the existential despair that it caused in a very diabolical and theatrical way and Louis coped with being dead by being a spiteful little bitch pretending to be more human than Lestat like it's a competition? idk man at least Nicki actually loved Lestat.

[zeoneo]

to celebrate getting over her:

allow me a day to grieve, even just this last one

let me chew before i swallow or spit

let me savor the feeling before i go back to feeling monotone

we got all the time in the world, a short moment wouldn't hurt

i was patient, so you should be with me too

it was a pretty long time ago

it was rough but i was inlove

i should not be dwelling on you anymore

but i saw photographs, our memories

and i recognize the stars in our eyes

now i can't help tears falling from mine

when will i ever be exhausted enough to forget

would it ever be acceptable to hang out with friends at the same time?

be at the same place without acting like the other isn't existing?

did you take the stars with you when we decided to walk different paths?

it seemed to be only lit when i used to look at you

♤♡◇♧

stop doing that

you know I'll drop everything and everyone for you

and i wouldn't even hold anything against you

maybe just my hand against your cheek as i caress it

as if i haven't been hurt before

like i didn't spend my time trying to look for a better version of you in someone else

♤♡◇♧

for a moment

just for a brief one

i had the chance to hold your hand

again after what felt like a lifetime

and my heart skipped a beat

all the other hands i ever touched felt all too foreign now

no matter how long they stayed warming mine

seems like some things are reserved just for you

even the way i call you love

like a title only i should get to use

too sacred to forsake

all yours and no one elses

—your scent lingers long after you stopped being mine

♤♡◇♧

it's a cycle, a damned one like sisyphus

how i try to feel like i got over you so i let others in

they treat me so well and for a time i feel content and loved

just not inlove, it's so weird why do i feel like i feel nothing

the touches feels so natural but they don't feel like yours

and i'm disappointed in myself as i realized that i'm doomed

again, as usual, per always

but i don't mind hurting as long as it is you

really, i don't mind at all

i'll try to mend and bend till i rust

maybe i'll get lucky someday and break my self

enough to cripple me to not come running back to you

♤♡◇♧

i just wanted to see you

maybe hold you for a bit longer than last time

and with intent, some sober courage

but why does fate always put barriers

why is it trying so hard to keep us apart

can it not see my persistence?

i just want you

please...

will it ever honor my desperations?

♤♡◇♧

i hate how i've grown to understand you

actually understand and not just tolerate

i'm burdened with guilt from feeling things that are valid

i now know that it isn't you that i'm mad with

just mad about the circumstances just one time please

give me a chance to be with you

why am i still not over you

after everything

after everyone

♤♡◇♧

i get it now

it's not me that you miss

but my constant lingering presence

close enough to yearn but distanced to not feel overwhelmed

you miss the buzz of reaching out to touch but hesitating halfway

and the silent eye contacts that holds unspoken confessions

i don't learn my lessons

everytime, i step out of the fantasy zone

bursting your bubbles by my desperation you let me go again

like an outgrown toy

can you please make it clear next time?

♤♡◇♧

tied up the loose ends

i can never be the girl before the new one

i was the new one before

i know how it must feel, even if i don't know her

i have respect for me and for her, even if the respect for you hangs by a thread

i hope you're good and i hope she's getting better

i wish for peace, mostly for me

for you? i wish you learn

♤♡◇♧

all the works are still about you

when i'm finally moving on, it's from you

even when they aren't, they still are

the works about her still have your absence

i don't know what to do

my brows are shaped into a frown and i no longer have stars in my eyes

even if there still are, you must've dimmed them on your way out

♤♡◇♧

i wished there were confrontations to satiate my rage

i wished you had reacted, do anything to justify your cause

i wished i didn't feel bad, i didn't have to

–i no longer wish for things for you now

in fact, i no longer feel anything

i'm free, finally

[lesvegas]

ritchie’s🎃💀 ABCs of Horror Movie Marathon!! 💀🎃

Horror movie challenge prompted by @quintsmachete

Day Twenty Two - V is for Venom: The Last Dance (2024)

Promise this won't have spoilers, besides this: there was no kiss, no monster sex, and not even an 'I love you'. And that's okay.

This is gonna be long, by the way.

Hear me out.

My friends and I joke about how the third movie better have Eddie and Venom fucking on-screen, but you'd have to be pretty naive to think they would lean into the homoerotic angle anymore than they have in the first two movies. While I do wish there was a little more explicit love between the two, I honestly kind of appreciated the subtext and the way their 'relationship' ended (that's not even a spoiler; see title and trailer).

There are two main reasons I found their dynamic and the movie's ending satisfying rather than disappointing: the nature of the relationship itself, and the fact that this movie really couldn't be more than what it was on that front.

I'm not a comic book nerd. Feel free to send asks to my bestie @nosoactivehero if you wanna hear his thoughts about all that. But what I do know from the few interpretations of Eddie and Venom that I've seen (Spiderman 3, Spectacular Spiderman, random episodes of other cartoons, the odd game or two) that a relationship like that could never really work out in the end. You could even say they're doomed from the start. The fact is, while these Tom Hardy movies have made Eddie and Venom closer than they ever have been before (as far as my non-comic-book-reading ass is aware) they're still a parasitic man-eating alien and a human man trying to keep it from devouring everything in sight. They love eachother, they feel like good friends at worst, but there's never been an instance where they've been able to maintain a symbiotic relationship long-term without anyone getting hurt. Ultimately their relationship has to end, and it has to end either with Eddie dying, or him living on and feeling like a major part of him is missing forever. And I think this movie handled that pretty well.

As for this movie's limitations... listen, it was limited from the start. Venom 2018 was something of a fluke; it was intended to be an edgy antihero movie a la Morbius that unintentionally became a hit with monsterfuckers, enough to warrant two sequels. And while Sony did lean into that a little bit and tried to cater to that audience, it really starts and ends with promotional material and tiny tidbits of that dynamic in the movies. It's honestly surprising there was even that 'kiss' in the first movie at all, because there's still the other half of their target audience: kids. And their parents.

Sony already has monsterfuckers and fujoshis in the bag. They're gonna see this movie and cling to every little #symbrock moment there is. They don't really need to be pandered to more than they already have been. So, that leaves the kids and the parents who will buy tickets for them. They were already gonna see this movie if they saw the first two, and the only thing that might put them off from doing so is hearing that they made the main character and the big alien slime monster gay. I can believe the director/writer Kelly Marcel and producer/writer/star Tom Hardy would be willing to take that risk, but I highly doubt Sony would ever let the movie happen if they even thought about it. So that leaves relying on subtext and history to sell the ship.

Also, these movies are still PG-13. This one has a lot more swearing and violence than before, but it's still PG-13... I think.

I still think they could've at least dropped the word 'love' aloud just once, but I don't blame them for dialing it back either.

This movie has a lot of loud moments, but it also has a lot of quiet ones I found myself appreciating. There were typical goofy Venom moments like you'd expect, maybe a little less than usual, but there were also moments where they were just talking or Venom was expressing Eddie's feelings aloud. I honestly think my favourite scene was in a van with a family on their way to Vegas (well, stopping by Vegas, again, not gonna spoil it) and Eddie had a moment to think to himself about what he wants, and where to go from here. The kid of said family talks to him a little while everyone sleeps, asking for reassurance that aliens aren't real, and Eddie's hesitation is kinda funny before he lies to reassure the kid. Aliens aren't real, don't worry about it. I thought Venom would pipe up with something obnoxious in response, but instead he told Eddie that he said the right thing, and that he'd make a good dad. And I think that says a lot about how their friend/relationship has developed over the last in-movie year.

Can you tell what I went to see the movie for? I mean, the first two were really fucking messy, it only makes sense I'm mostly here for the #symbrock moments. But the rest of the movie was honestly not nearly as much of a mess as the last two, and I found that really refreshing.

It's definitely not perfect. The first few minutes of exposition had me looking at my bestie and saying 'what the fuck was that'. Fortunately, they only drilled said exposition in two more times after that, and it felt somewhat justified in that it really just acted as the vehicle for the plot and stakes as any tolerable exposition should.

The first 20-30 minutes had me worried this movie was gonna suck worse than before, but after that the movie quickly got good. A lot of new characters were introduced which also had me worried, but their screentime felt justified by the end as they all had a role to play, big or small. The sets were a hell of a lot more interesting with a mix of wilderness, cities and a certain military base, and for once every set piece was largely visible and colourful. I think I would've preferred more night time scenes, but that's just a personal preference. The action was honestly pretty engaging, even if most of it was still CGI on account of Venom being. Venom. The music was surprisingly great; I could give or take the pop songs but they were fine, and the orchestral OST genuinely hit at times. The story is... fine. Again, it really just feels like a vehicle for the scenes to happen the way they do, but it's easy to follow and isn't entirely unbelievable in the context of the universe. I could nitpick some stupid moments and plot holes, but c'mon, it's fucking Venom 3, do you really expect cinematic perfection? I think the fact that I only rolled my eyes twice was pretty impressive. The humour didn't land for me as well as before, but it did get a chuckle out of me here and there.

And the ending... I get why some were disappointed, but honestly, I liked it. A lot. I also thought it was kinda ballsy to end on a bittersweet moment like that. Not the kind of thing you'd expect from a movie where half the target audience are kids.

I really liked this movie as an ending to a hot, messy trilogy of flukes. Not great, but honestly not that bad. Gonna give this one three outta five lobsters 🦞🦞🦞🗌🗌

[linuxgamenews]

The End is Near: Enjoy the Free Final Update for Dead Cells

The End is Near update unlocks for Dead Cells, the final content for the game on Linux, Steam Deck, Mac, and Windows PC. Thanks to the brilliant work of the Motion Twin team. Along with a big discount on Steam and Humble Store. Motion Twin and Evil Empire have just released the final update for the smash-hit rogue-lite. Update 35, titled "The End is Near," is out now on Linux and Steam Deck. While wrapping up the epic journey that started back in 2017 with The Beheaded. The best part? It’s completely free! Plus, to celebrate this final content, Dead Cells is on sale for 50% off on Steam and Humble Store until August 26th. So if you haven’t jumped into the action yet, now’s the time. "The End is Near" adds a bunch of new stuff to make your runs even more wild. We’re talking new mobs, weapons, mutations, and even more heads to collect. You’ll face three new enemies: The Sore Loser, Curser, and Doom Bringer. Each is also ready to give you a tough time if your Boss Cells level is high enough. But don’t worry, you’ll have some new toys to fight back with. The Misericorde and Anathema are vicious melee and ranged weapons that come with a twist. Since they can curse you but also dish out massive damage. It’s all about high risk and high reward, which is what makes playing so good.

Dead Cells: The End is Near

If that’s not enough, there are three new mutations to mess around with: Cursed Flask, Damned Vigor, and Demonic Strength. These are perfect for creating some wild, risk-taking builds that’ll keep you on your toes. And because this game never does things halfway, they’ve also added 40 new heads for you to unlock and show off. Who says you can’t look good while being cursed? For a full rundown of everything in "The End is Near," be sure to check out the patch notes on their official site: Patch Notes. While this is the last content update, it’s not the end for Motion Twin and Evil Empire. Motion Twin is working on a new rogue-lite called Windblown, which will launch in Early Access later this year. It’s a fast-paced game where you and up to two friends can team up, explore floating islands, and create some seriously overpowered builds to take on the mighty Sentinels. Meanwhile, Evil Empire has just released The Rogue Prince of Persia, a roguelike set in the classic action-platformer universe. It’s already available in Early Access, so if you’re a fan of fluid combat and smooth platforming, you might want to check it out. Dead Cells, "The End is Near," is available now on Linux, Steam Deck, Mac, and Windows PC. Along with a 50% discount on Steam and Humble Store. Dropping the price to $12.49 USD / £10.99 / 12,49€. Sadly, regular price on GOG.

[pricemarshfield]

3, 5, 14, 18, 24, and 28 for Tav :)

hi fox thanks for letting me be insane about my girl <3 below the cut bc i am simply incapable of shutting up about her

3. What would their character quest be titled? Why? (companion au)

okay i originally would have said the holy knight and it would have been a fun little subversion thing given her god's awful and she also can potentially ditch your party for The Literal Devil if you piss her off enough but. i think it would be the tempest. because she really does view herself as her domain's moreso than she does view herself as her god's, even if she IS loyal to talos. BUT also the holy knight questline name sticking even as she drops the mask is also soooo crunchy. hm. no i'm still saying tempest just bc [insert entire text of a tour of tempest here]. plus it would incentivize players to click on a tour of tempest which could doom them if they haven't gotten her approval high enough

5. Describe their idle animations! (companion au)

i have such a vivid mental image of her with a reading animation but only if she's near gale's tent because she refuses to let him think he's the only smart one even if she is not absorbing literally any of the contents of the book. also that one if you give her the necromancy of thay regardless of where she is. i do think she would also have idle animations of looking at the other people in camp because she's nosy and probably also writing something, little would-be bard that she is. one where she's sorting through her bag as a little nod to player character!tav picking up literally everything that isn't nailed down. one where she's practicing tying knots and you can ask her about it and if you try to flirt with low approval, she goes "do you think every thing people do is because they want to have sex with you? i'm a sailor, idiot. i'd only tie you up to throw you overboard. though i suppose off a cliff would do." with high approval she flirts back ofc

14. Where are they from? What was home like?

baldur's gate forever babyyyy. she was young enough when her parents died that she doesn't really remember the house all that well but when she moved in with her aunt/uncle, it was a small but cozy place closer to the docks. they worried she'd be traumatized, having to smell the ocean all day after losing her parents at sea. but of course she is Disturbed and thus was delighted.

i don't picture her dynamic with them being especially affectionate or demonstrative. she's not the type of person to request or openly seek affection, as hungry as she is for attention of all kinds, and i think they were probably busy people who didn't really factor adopting a strange, off-putting child into their life plans and only really changed those to provide the bare minimum of care for her. i think they'd say they love her, and probably even mean it, and i don't think she holds them any ill will, but like. she would only feel a vague disappointment if they died, at most. they offered her shelter as a moral obligation and she's fine with that; she was mostly occupied with her like. religious awakening and deep-seated urge to become a Legend(tm). family ties were nothinggg compared to that.

18. Where/with whom do they feel safest?

okay so i think it's important to note that tav gets deeply and profoundly uncomfortable with Safety. she throws herself into life-or-death situations because she is more comfortable and content with that than she is with actual stability and comfort, even in her good end/post-character arc. her first life-threatening experience killed her whole family and she still went back to that god and to the sea over and over and over again.

BUT. i think by the epilogue, she has people she can be herself with without pretense (namely the party), and that's worth more to her than some illusion of safety. she's thrilled by her new life in the underdark being home without being safe.

also, bad end her obviously is never safe and never feels safe for a second of her life, given the doomed cause and devil she's tied herself to. she even more explicitly than in normal end prefers it that way, and views her previous reaching out to people as a weakness, even if she's not willing to let go of the few people willing to stick with her from then.

24. What does your Tav consider to be their own biggest character flaw?

not to immediately point at her stats, but her lack of intelligence. tav is very charismatic and very wise and very, very good at making people think she belongs in spaces she has no business being in, but she wants SO badly to be able to be in said spaces by virtue of her intelligence. it's not to say she hates herself for that lack, she's far too comfortable in her own skin for that, but she views it as a flaw for SURE.

bad end tav views the lingering remnant of her moral code like it's dirt on her shoe she can't quite kick off. but still probably intelligence, her conscience is embarrassing, but the intelligence is a Flaw

28. Describe a smell that reminds your Tav of childhood.

the docks in baldur's gate, sea salt and unwashed masses and all. she's baldurian to her fucking core. i think she'd also view the smell of the sea actually OUT at sea as a smell she associates with her youth, even if she continued going on ill-fated sailings up until/past the events of the game

[shortypipatrick]

EVERYONE needs to watch this, absorb it, sit with it... just experience it because it is undeniably beautiful, and it is so well written and well performed... And I think it encapsulates what it would really be for Henry and Hans to be in love in the 15th century... It's good.

My rambling thoughts:

"I saw Hans Capon stop pretending for the first time all evening when he walked in the room... Henry" And he does, too. Like, all throughout the first game, every time he sees Henry he drops all pretense and shouts, "Henry's come to see us!" "It's Henry!"

"No crest. No gold. No title to offer..."

It's beautiful. It's important to remember the historical context too because it's illegal, forbidden, a mortal sin, on so many fronts. Two men, but it isn't just that. It's a noble and a commoner.... Even if Henry was a woman, it would be forbidden. There's no world where they can just *be*

"Something shifted. Not in the air, not in the light, but in Hans. It was like watching someone breathe after being held underwater for too long."

This is just a beautiful line, and I need to show it appreciation. It paints a beautiful picture of a man who is so desperate for Henry that being without him is like being without air. There's so, so much love in this sentence.

"as if some part of them had been reaching and had just come home"

Again, this line just needs some love. It's so beautiful

"And Hans... he stopped pretending. .... like watching a candle remember it was fire."

AGAIN THIS LINE IS GORGEOUS

"His eyes lifted and found Henry's, and in that single glance, something ancient passed between them. Not longing; knowing."

"They looked at each other as if their very souls had once been entangled"

Again, there is just so much love pouring from both of these statements. "Something ancient" sticks with me especially; this isn't new. it isn't something that just started. It's something that always was, it was their fate. Their souls were, probably still are entangled. Always have been. Like you said, it's *ancient.* It's always been there... this love they share, it isn't going anywhere, either. It's engraved in their souls, they fit together perfectly. Maybe they can find each other again in another life.

"Their palms pressed together like pages of a book no one was allowed to read."

This is so beautiful (I'm going to keep using that word so get used to it). A whole story passing between them in a touch, a lifetime they'll never have, but have dreamed of together, separately, day and night, and for anyone else to know would doom them... no, certainly no one else is allowed to read these pages.

"like two people whose skin had once known each other in darkness, and now in light must pretend it never happened"

And this is just heartbreaking.

"enough to make Henry's lips tremble, like he wanted to speak, but remembered what it would cost."

THIS LINE. I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT SINCE I WATCHED THIS YESTERDAY. IT'S SO STUCK IN MY HEAD IT'S LIKE A TATTOO ON MY BRAIN.

It would cost everything. Literally everything. they have to be so careful... it must be torture, to see someone they love so dearly, and not even to be able to speak, not openly.

"As if their palms carried the echo of a night that neither of them would ever be allowed to speak of again..."

This is fucking me up so bad, I'm basically chewing through my laptop as I try to write this. No matter how many times I listen, it doesn't get less painful. The reality of this romance, of the consequences of them feeling it, of the relentless hopelessness they both feel knowing that it's never going to amount to anything beyond a secret... shit.

"and I saw Hans look back, like someone that would give anything to return to that place for just one more night."

This is where it starts to bring tears to my eyes :(

"I saw the truth in the space between their fingers. in the softness that passed like a secret across their skin. And I know now, the man I am to marry has already loved someone the world will never let him name."

Never. And there's not even a chance. Not in their lifetimes, not in their children's or their children's. There's nothing to be done about it at all, except to remember, to briefly touch in these tiny private moments, to let the words they can't say flow without a sound. I love you.

"Hans watched Henry the way I once watched falcons trace the sky... Hans once flew, and now they are asking him to fold his wings and walk."

Let me say right now that the caged bird metaphors for Hans will NEVER fail to break me, and this one you've got here is just... YES.

"I have never flown. I was born in this cage. I've made peace with its shape."..

AND THIS! The way my heart is breaking for a character that isn't even in the game. She deserves so much more, and so does Hans. But there's just not a reality where that's the case. But she knew this long, long ago; it's a woman's lot.

"But Hans... He still remembers the wind."

Hans didn't think this would be his lot. He thought he'd find a woman, he'd fall in love and marry her and they'd have 2.5 kids and he would rule over Pirkstein with her like his father had with his mother... He'd be a great lord...

But then this Blacksmith's boy showed him another world, another life... and it's gone as quickly as it arrived.

"And when I look at him, I see a man trying to forget the sky."

But he won't, will he? How could anyone forget the sky.

"Oh, what cruelty it must be to give a bird the sky and then ask it to sing behind bars."

And this is tragic, not just for Hans, not just for Henry, but for Jitka, too. Because she knows she is the cage. This marriage is the cage. This life that Hans is going to have with her is his cage, and it always will be, and there's nothing in the world that can change that... And nothing can take this knowledge away from her, not after she saw what passed between Henry and Hans in that tiny, vulnerable moment. Not after she saw what love looked like, a glimpse of a bird flying free... He'll never be that for her. She'll never be able to give him happiness, and he'll never be able to give her happiness.

"I will be his wife ... but I will never be the wind."

Just. Masterpiece

"I will never be the reason his voice softens, or his gaze lingers. That was given away, already, in a touch I was never meant to see."

You have this masterpiece of writing here (not just in this line, but all of it), that perfectly encapsulates how miserable and awful this is for Hans and Henry, and for Jitka. There's no relief for her because she isn't part of it. There's no avoiding the pain because she isn't forbidden from her love, but rather because the man she's meant to marry is forbidden from his love, and will never be able to offer her the same. She's as trapped as he is. She's "made peace with the shape of her cage," but that doesn't make it any easier.

"Hans will never speak of it, and neither will I."

There's so much mercy in this line... so much love. This is how she'll show her love for Hans. By leaving him this secret, by never telling, by never asking... She'll leave him with this private moment and she'll let him have that for himself and for Henry. And that's her love to him. It's the grandest gesture she can offer him. It's all she has.

"Like two men letting go of a cliff's edge before the world saw them fall."

This reminds me so much of the Hannibal finale. That scene is so painful in its own right, and to be reminded of it here.. it's beautiful, there is absolutely no doubt about that. I adore it. But GODDAMN.

"Hans is not cruel. No, cruelty would almost be easier... at least then I could hate him."

And this is where my tears really start to fall. She's barely even a whole character! She's just mentioned, she isn't in the game, and already there is so much pain she'll have to endure... just!!!! I feel for her, and I'm so glad to have something out there in the world from her point of view, something to show that this doesn't just hurt Hans and Henry, that this cruelty isn't just some divine punishment for them, but for Jitka, too. And they're all completely innocent in the matter. Just people who got caught up in feelings that were always going to be there, that are as easy to stop as the turning of the Earth on its axis... inevitable. They're victims of an unjust world.

"And I think in some quiet corner of his noble heart, he pities me too."

I agree 100% He's not heartless - so, so much the opposite. He just can't show it, can he? Because she doesn't know, or at least she isn't supposed to know. To show pity for her for his deepest secret would be something he couldn't risk... so he'd have to keep it bottled up, buried so far inside that she'd doubt it was there, but it is. I'm sure.

"to look at someone as if they are the very place your soul returns to and know you must walk away"

GOD IT'S SUCH A GOOD LINE PLEASE HELP ME

"And in the quiet of our chambers, when Hans does not speak, I will know what silence he is holding, and it will not be shaped like me."

Another beautiful line that I just cannot get over.

This whole thing is written so well. It makes you feel so much for Hans, for Henry, and for Jitka... and you can see the pain they're all feeling, how difficult this is for all of them. And it sticks with you, and it hurts.

It's incredible. I can't get enough of this. Thank you

What if Jitka of Kunstadt saw something she was never meant to see? Not scandal. Not betrayal — but love. True love. In the space between two hands. In the man she was meant to marry.

I wrote this monologue from her point of view. And somewhere between writing and voicing it… I broke my own heart.

[westofwonder]

Pull List (11/22/2023)

Avengers Inc #3 Batman/Superman: World's Finest #21 Hawkgirl #5 Immortal X-Men #17 Jay Garrick: The Flash #2 Justice League Vs. Godzilla Vs. Kong #2 Justice Society of America #7 Mighty Morphin Power Rangers #114 Minor Threats: The Alternates #3 Moon Knight: City of the Dead #5 Wolverine #39

Avengers Inc - A bit jarring between the cover art and the interior art not really matching up, but I still am onboard with this book.

World's Finest - I've stated this before, but I've never been a fan of Kingdom Come. I do think Waid and Mora can make this work. With Mora's great art and Waid dipping back into something he's familiar with, I do think this can be compelling.

Hawkgirl - I flipped through - because I am behind with this series - and I am little confused on what I saw. Need to play catch up badly.

Immortal X-Men - Saving something for a later title, but anyway a Jean issue during this event I think will work well.

Jay Garrick: The Flash - Just raced through issue one so I wasn't too far behind getting into this. I think Adams did a great job on his Flash (title) run, and I do think this miniseries will be a good look at how Jay handles Judy. I do like that in issue one it made reference to the fact Jay couldn't have children, and I am hoping that's not the only reference to that fact. A lot more to see here.

JL Vs. Godzilla Vs. Kong - I did manage to read this one, too. I do think the set-up has to happen in a way to get the Monsters colliding with the JL. Using the Legion of Doom was a odd choice to do it. Weird to think this is the only Justice League book at the moment. I saw Supes punching Godzilla on the first few panels in issue two - I would like more of that!

JSA - Johns takes so long with this book I have to think really hard and remind myself what happened last issue. And last issue was an 'Aftermath' issue to reset the table for the next few issue. I do not think Johns is using his time well with this book. I do hope this issue manages to do more than what the last six gave readers. I want a JSA book, but I don't want to waste my time. And Johns is working in his own continuity - remember folks, we are not living in a new Golden age; we are living in a new Silver age.

MMPR - Too much stuff is happening in this title, and not enough page space for it. Considering dropping this title soon. Haven't been in a PR mood since I stopped playing Legacy Wars, too. We'll see.

The Alternates - I've always been curious on how superhero universes work. One of the reasons I still like getting DC and Marvel books is that the universes have been ongoing for decades. You can play catch up, but not a lot and that's fun. Minor Threats is new and is influenced by pop culture and previous ideas about superheroes. Dark Horse letting people play with that idea is nice and a cool change of pace.

Moon Knight: City of the Dead - I think Scarlet Scarab hype is what got me to consider this book, and also the fact I've been enjoing MacKay's Moon Knight run. Rosenberg is doing a great job on colors, too.

Wolverine - I am confused how Ryp was able to manage two books this week, but these things happen. Glancing through the issue makes me understand I am not caught up with what's happening with Black Panther. Not a problem, we'll power through. Interesting here is there's a different colorist on the X-Men book above and the difference is noticeable in a way.

This list was delayed due to Thanksgiving. Next list might not even be until Friday.

Happy readings!