#can we go back to when my baby's motives were more clear or what fam lmao

[elwenyere]

A Very Small Grease Fire (and Other Human Disasters)

(Thanksgiving ficlet for the Stony and Avengers fam; also on AO3)

The Avengers didn’t have the best track record with Thanksgiving. The first time the dinner had ended in disaster, it had been Steve’s fault. One rainy fall Sunday, just months after the Battle of New York, Steve had been picking at a bowl of mint-chip ice cream, feeling tired of getting looks of sympathy about the holidays and absolutely exhausted by feeling sorry for himself. If Bruce and Clint hadn’t chosen that particular afternoon to ask him whether there was anything special he wanted for Thanksgiving – raising the question with just enough gentleness to make Steve’s jaw tighten – he probably would have said, “I’m a sweet potatoes guy” and left it at that.

Instead, Steve had been seized by a spirit of mischief. Putting on his most morose poker face, he had proceeded to invent a series of Depression-era dishes, from “Hoover Rolls” to “Poor Man’s Potatoes,” the recipes for which he concocted out of the blandest ingredients he could imagine. By the time he was in the process of describing his third Crisco-based dessert, Steve was sure he had gone far enough to reveal the joke; but Bruce and Clint had continued nodding encouragingly and jotting down notes.

The results had been borderline inedible. And even though the sight of Tony doubled over with laughter when Steve finally fessed up had thawed out a part of his heart he hadn’t even known was still on ice, the experience of eating a holiday dinner in which half the dishes tasted like over-starched socks forced even Steve to admit that the prank had been a bit of a Pyrrhic victory.

The second time…well, Steve would have said the second time was his fault too – though he supposed the rest of the team would blame the extremists who tried to kidnap the governor. Clint had just started basting the turkey when the “Assemble” alarm went off, and the team had to pile in the Quinjet to deal with a hostage situation at the capitol. It should have been an easy job – in and out with plenty of time to take the butter for the piecrust out of the freezer – but then one of the extremists had pulled the pin on a grenade just yards away from a state senator’s eight-year-old son, and four hours later Steve was waking up in the burn unit at Walter Reed hospital with the anguished sound of someone shouting his name still ringing in his ears.

“You fucking idiot,” the same voice had greeted him, and Steve looked up to see Tony sitting by his bed, the lines around his eyes drawn tight over a surgical mask. “You’re supposed to be a tactical genius, and you haven’t learned a single new method for containing explosives since basic training in 1943? I’m going to equip your suit with goddamn ballistic plates.”

“Tony,” Steve managed, feeling a halo of pain radiate up his scalp. “Are you okay? Was anyone hurt?”

Steve thought he saw something mist across Tony’s eyes, but he couldn’t be sure. The more fully he became aware of his body, the more he noticed the pull of his skin cells contracting in uneven loops around the burns on his torso, and it was taking a considerable amount of energy to keep Tony’s face in focus.

“Everybody’s fine but you, Steve,” Tony assured him. “And the doctors said you should be able to move to the general floor in a few hours. So shut those baby blues and let the serum do its job, because there’s a whole team of keyed-up superheroes waiting to see you, and they’re emptying the hospital vending machines fast enough to cause a run on the Frito-Lay factory.”

Steve had drifted in and out of consciousness for a while after that, finally waking up long enough to eat a holiday dinner of contraband take-out, which Natasha had smuggled into the hospital using only Thor’s tendency to knock over delicate instruments and Bruce’s oversized jacket.

“When you sign up to be an Avenger, no one warns you about doing overtime as a falafel mule,” Bruce had mused, leaning back to let Natasha steal a fry off his plate.

“I still think we could have gotten that eighth kebab if you’d been willing to consider pant legs as additional real estate,” she told him.

"You should all be eating stuffing and pumpkin pie,” Steve grimaced. “I’m sorry you’re stuck here on Thanksgiving.”

“Listen, Cap,” Clint replied, waving a dolma at him, “if you’re going to apologize for anything, apologize for the purgatory potatoes you tricked me into making last year. At least this year we have food that doesn’t have the texture of fast-drying cement.”

“Those tubers had truly been abandoned by the gods,” Thor agreed solemnly. “But I maintain that the Big Band Banana Pie was actually quite delicious.”

“Just don’t make the third-degree burns and hypovolemic shock a holiday habit, Rogers,” Tony put in. “Some of us are trying to watch our blood pressure.”

Tony had leaned over to adjust the settings on Steve’s bed as he spoke, and by the time he finished, a dull tugging sensation across Steve’s chest had loosened – the pain subsiding almost before Steve could register that it had been bothering him.

So that was why, after two years of throwing wrenches in the Avengers’ Thanksgiving plans, Steve was determined to make sure that year three went off without a hitch. He’d drawn up an elaborate plan for maximizing the utility of the Tower kitchen’s two ovens and seven burners and for optimizing the team’s various culinary skills. The operatives had been briefed the night before, and by 10:30 AM on Thursday, Steve was fluting a pie crust, Bruce was stripping fresh thyme leaves into an herb blend, Clint was whipping up a roux for the mushroom gravy, Thor was mashing potatoes and parsnips in an industrial-strength metal vat, and Natasha was dicing carrots and celery with a speed and precision that felt vaguely unsettling.

After checking the team’s progress against his itinerary, Steve turned to the next task on his own list: bringing Tony Stark his emergency coffee. Bruce had just made a second pot, and Steve poured some into the largest cup he could find: a purple novelty mug, featuring a drawing of the Hulk and the words “You Wouldn’t Like Me Without My Coffee.” He paused to tuck a few biscuits into a napkin (Tony’s relief at sighting fresh coffee sometimes opened up a narrow window during which Steve could feed him breakfast without being noticed), and headed down to the lab.

He found Tony standing with both arms braced against his worktable, designs for what looked like the paneling of Steve’s uniform projected in front of him. Steve cleared his throat, and Tony whirled around, the slump of his shoulders morphing into a graceful lounge by the time he was facing Steve.

“I was just about to come up,” he said. “I have a few finishing touches left here and then I’m all yours, Cap. Give me everything that can survive being the tiniest bit overcooked.”

Steve walked over to put Tony’s coffee on the table and then felt his breath catch in his throat when Tony reached out and took the mug from his hand instead.

“There’s no need,” Steve responded to cover his reaction, flexing the hand that had brushed Tony’s as he let it fall back to his side. “We’ve got the schedule covered for now. I was actually hoping I could talk you into a snack break.”

He waved the napkin of biscuits experimentally.

“Are you cutting me from the Thanksgiving roster, Rogers?” Tony asked. “Just because one time I set a very small grease fire – which I contained almost immediately, by the way.”

“The vase I broke when I sprinted into the kitchen would beg to differ,” Steve smiled. “But it’s not that. I just wanted to do this for you: a big dinner and sitting down with family.”

“For me?” Tony blinked at him. “Why?”

Steve started to cross his arms across his chest before realizing that he would risk crushing the biscuits. He settled for clasping his wrist with his free hand instead, widening his stance slightly and taking a deep breath. Come on, Rogers. Take it on the chin.

“Because I wanted to tell you that I woke up in this century alone,” he said, “and that you were the first person stubborn enough to make sure I wouldn’t stay that way. Now I wake up to a kitchen full of people who tease me about my lists but who know why I need them – who will eat dinner rolls that taste like soggy chalk just to make me feel at home.” He paused. “People who stay by my side for eight straight hours at the hospital.”

Steve looked up and caught Tony’s eyes, his heart rate picking up speed as memories of those same eyes flashed through his mind in quick succession: tearing up with laughter over a plate of cornstarched bananas, pinched with fear over a surgical mask, narrowed in concentration over the remote control for an adjustable bed.

“Romanov has an awfully big mouth for a spy,” Tony said with a rueful smile.

“I think it was a tactical leak,” Steve acknowledged, “to motivate her mark. She knew I needed a push. Because I’ve messed up the past two years, and I needed to tell you: pretty much everything I’m thankful for in my new life is here because of you.”

Tony was staring at him, his eyes darting quickly across Steve’s face as if JARVIS were scanning it for data. Steve held up under the silent scrutiny as long as he could before letting out an explosive breath.

“Anyway, sorry to interrupt you,” he said quickly. “You’ve got work to do, and I’ve got to go make sure everything’s on track upstairs. I’ll uh – I’ll have Bruce come get you when dinner’s ready.”

He started to make an about face toward the door, but Tony caught his arm and held him in place.

“Give a guy a goddamn minute, Steve,” he said softly. “I’m having to do a major cognitive reboot over here. It takes a while for the operating system to come back online. Just…sit down? Let me show you the new flame retardants I’m adding to your uniform.”

Steve complied. And as he watched Tony run through the specs, gulping coffee and nibbling absently at the biscuits, he realized that he knew what Tony was saying even before Tony finally spoke the words: “I’m thankful every time you wake up.”

[stranger-who-writes-fiction]

Superman & Lois - Ep. 102 “Heritage”

In which the Sad Dad vibes and teen angst continues!

Spoilers!

Lois gets the opening and closing narration this week! And generally has more to do, which is nice.

The fam has officially moved to Smallville, so the boys are gearing up to start school...or are they???

Well, Jon is. Jordan is told he has to stay home until he can get his nascent powers under control because they don’t want him to accidentally flash frying a classmate. Which he almost did. Last week. 

Clark calls Jordan’s accidental heat vision an ‘ocular release of energy.’

This decision, of course, leads to some FAMILY DRAMA. Jordan feels like a freak! Jonathan is upset that they’ve had to move! Clark feels like he’s failing as a parent!

Oh and also the guy in the Master Chief suit is on the hunt for Kryptonite. Which is, you know. Troubling.

SO it’s off to school for Jonathan and off to the Fortress for Jordan!

Lois, upon Jonathan asking why Jordan gets to go flying with dad: “At least we have the radio!”

One plus side about the show being ‘grounded’ and ‘prestige-y’: the high school drama is of a more believable variety. Still tedious, but at least it’s not dated 90s tropes.

...Well, okay. Not entirely true. Sarah Cushing’s personality thus far is ‘nice girl who’s dating a jerk’ and yes, the line “What do you see in that guy?” is said aloud. So.

Win some, lose some.

MEANWHILE, AT THE FORTRESS:

Love the actor they got for Jor-El. He’s perfect, in that he feels like an homage to Brando, Crowe, but is also his own distinct version. I dig it. 

But there’s no giant key made of dwarf star matter because this is GROUNDED and REALISTIC and none of that SILLY CW NONSENSE, WE GOT HBO MAX MONEY. 

Back to the Lois vs. Edge plot:

For all the folks wondering how Lois working at the Planet was going to continue, what with the show being set in Smallville...

WELL.

Edge now owns the Planet, so he re-writes a negative article she’s written about him, which leads to her quitting, and going to write for the Smallville Gazette.

Which is operated by Chrissy Beppo.

Who is...named after the super monkey? 

Does this mean we’ll eventually meet other Smallville residents named after super pets? Like Marsha Whizzy, or maybe Kenneth Comet.

Seems a weird choice when ‘Bibbo’ is right there.

ANYWAYS.

Best line of the episode: “You know what babe? You do your Superman stuff, and I will do my Lois Lane stuff.”

MEANWHILE, THE SAD DAD VIBES INTENSIFY as Grandpa Jor-El reveals: Jordan...will never be like you, Kal-El. His human DNA is too limiting.

Which is a very interesting plot point (that was sorta mentioned/explored in Future State!)

So, about the boys: I still find them...mostly annoying. But I appreciate the dynamic they’re establishing: Jordan has always required more time and attention due to his anxiety disorder, and Jonathan has always had to look after him and compensate--this carries over into the new status quo where Jordan has the super powers and Jonathan further feels that his brother is getting time and attention and he needs to make sacrifices and changes for him/the family. 

This leads to a really lovely moment between the brothers at the end of the episode that I genuinely enjoyed, so. I’m hoping that there will be more of that and less of ‘drama with Sarah’.

(Also if you think that sounds a little like another pair of Super siblings...it does! And also hold that thought.)

The OTHER big twist is that Master Chief AKA Captain Luthor comes from a world with an EVIL SUPERMAN.

To be clear, the set-up is very obviously, ‘Our Clark will prove Captain Luthor wrong re: thinking he’ll turn evil,’ so I’m not seriously suggesting we’re in for a full-on Injustice situation. I just find it funny, how quickly they pulled out the ol’ evil Supes.

(The one we saw in Elseworlds doesn’t count since that wasn’t Clark.)

And maybe this one isn’t either! I admit complete ignorance as to the comics stuff they’re pulling from; I guess it’s somehow connected to Project 7734 (Which is ‘hell’ upside down, as any fifth grader with a calculator will tell you) a counter-Kryptonian force put together by Sam Lane, I think? 

IDK. Like I said, comics blind spot.

The episode ends with Grandpa Lane looking a bit spooked at the ominous 7734 keychain Captain Luthor gave him, and Captain Luthor still on the hunt for Kryptonite! DUN DUN DUUNNNNNN.  

And now, time for a segment I’ll call: Gettin’ Super Salty w/Stranger wherein I will stash all of my frustration regarding the fact that this spin-off doesn’t really want to be a spin-off.

Okay, so first up! As mentioned, the Fortress design has been changed because the silly Supergirl version does not vibe with the new serious aesthetic.

Their loss! More Legion Rings, baby Sun Eaters, and impractical front door keys for Supergirl!

The sunstone AI details the last days of Krypton, and only one (1) pod is shown escaping the destruction.

Thanks, I hate it.

I do appreciate that Jor-El at least kinda appears to be wearing clothes that match the look of Supergirl’s Krypton. I wasn’t paying close attention to the buildings in the hologram, no clue if they match the architecture we’ve seen thus far.

Like, I get it. There’s no time to pause the plot and be like, ‘hey, just FYI, I’m not the sole survivor of Krypton, my cousin escaped as well’ but also AAAARRRRRGHHHHHH. 

You’re using the versions of the characters introduced in Supergirl, the least you can do is namedrop her once. ONCE. That’s all I’m asking. XD

They missed their opportunity, actually; when the boys were like, ‘We have so many questions!’ All you had to do was slip in, ‘Are we related to Supergirl?’ Bam. Done. Never need to go back to it, you’ve acknowledged it, continue on with your solo Sad Dad adventures!

(Except I guess that wouldn’t work, since so much of this is built on Clark being the Lone Protector of the earth. If you allude to other heroes being around, your whole character motivation/struggle makes less sense.)

I get it but I don’t have to like it. XD

They shoulda just set this on another Earth!

Circling back to the sibling dynamic: I hate how now I really want Kara to someday appear on this show and hang out with the boys and be like, ‘ah, yes, I know the feeling, my sister and I were the same.’

That’s it, that’s all the crossover content I need. I realize Melissa is moving on to bigger and better things but MAYBE SOMEDAY. XD (Or maybe I’ll just write a fic, who knows.)

I can’t remember if I brought this up already but it is hilarious to me that anyone still thinks of Superman as a reporter--most modern takes treat it as an afterthought and here, it’s dispensed in the first episode.

It has not been brought up since.

Like, much is made about Lois leaving Metropolis, and what that’ll mean for her career, but no one in Smallville is like, ‘Clark, wow! Farming? That’s quite a career change!’

(I assume he’ll be farming, since they mentioned starting the farm up again.)  

...You think anyone will drag the writers for tossing aside Clark’s ‘true calling?’ 

Who am I kidding? Supergirl fandom is not watching this show, they’re just harassing the people running the social media accounts. 

SO OVERALL: The good remains good! The meh remains meh! I appreciate that this version of Clark and Lois exist as we inch ever closer to the release of the Snyder Cut! But also the behind-the-scenes stuff continues to hang over everything like a terrible cloud! Here’s hoping those problems are addressed!

[arlingtonpark]

SNK 130 Review

For the first time, thanks to this chapter, SNK is more popular than Domestic Na Kanojo, a manga about a love triangle between a dude and his step-sisters, one of whom is his teacher.

We did it fam. Mission accomplished.

I feel like the scenario where the outside world and Paradis are kept apart with Paradis threatening to rumble the world if there’s any interference is something of an equilibrium point.

They say that nature has a balance to it. A natural rhythm that it follows on its own.

Predators hunt prey, so naturally there are less predators than prey, lest the prey population be wiped out. When predators are too many and prey is too few, the lack of food causes predators to leave the area or die off, which prompts the prey population to rebound.

So there’s a certain point at which things balance out. This is an equilibrium.

Social situations are like that too.  

People have desires and preferences, and in a social situation, a dynamic will form that satisfies as much of those desires as possible.

Because the equilibrium point is the state of affairs at which as many people as possible are satisfied, in the long term any disruption to that equilibrium will be corrected.

Not because of magic or anything, but just because it’s the scenario that most people prefer, so the state of affairs will trend towards it over time.

This is a really long way of saying that I think that some variation on the King Fritz scenario is the best outcome everyone can hope for.

Everyone gets to live and go about their lives.

The downside is that there’ll always be an undercurrent of resentment. And, oh yeah, becoming titans and eating children is necessary to make the wall titans work as a threat. That’s bad, but a natural balance isn’t a utopia.

It’s a testament to how much the SNK world sucks that *this* is the outcome that allows the most people to be happy.

Rape, parents eating children, all of it indefinitely.

That’s one of the most frustrating things about this chapter.

Just…what even is the message of this story anymore?

Attack on Titan is a series about freedom and striving for freedom. Eren has embodied that struggle the whole time.

But now?

Eren is a lunatic who’s about to crush the whole world.

The Cringevengers are fighting for freedom, but not their own. Stopping Eren will only open a pathway for the world to retaliate against Paradis for the failed rumbling. Their mission is one of self-destruction.

That’s noble, but it’s looking more and more like the cringevengers are going to lose. They’re physically and mentally exhausted, and they don’t really have much personal stake in this anymore.

So I guess we’re heading for an ending where Eren destroys the world.

If that’s the case, then…what’s the message?

Is this a tragedy?

Tragedies are about characters failing to rise above their flaws, but they’re also supposed to be constructive.

Tragedies work when they show the audience that a happy ending could have happened but for the character’s flaws.

Romeo and Juliet could have lived if it weren’t for their feuding families, for example. The story ended sadly, but there was a clear path to a happy ending.

What is the path forward in Attack on Titan?

The Marleyans are shit. They’re racist colonialists out to dominate the world. They coral Eldians into camps, use them as weapons, and want to build a global empire. Their long term motivation is to preserve their global dominance.

Eren is a lunatic. ‘Nuff said.

The Cringevengers have the moral high ground, but…if they win, the Eldians still die. So…go Cringevengers?

Who is the hero of this story right now?

Which path is the right one?

What is even the message anymore?

The answer is that there is none.

The situation is clearly designed to make this outcome inevitable.

The world is going down this bad path because almost everyone has the same flaw: they are willing to kill people for the sake of their own prejudices.

If only a couple of characters had that flaw, this would be fine, but making this flaw so widespread makes it seem that humans in general are like this, and that’s wrong.

Most people are not like this.

I think the fact that humanity has not self-immolated yet speaks for itself.

I don’t know what’s going on in Isayama’s mind, but I wonder if maybe he’s a bit paranoid about tensions between Japan, and China, and the Koreas.

The possible social commentary in SNK is always interesting to think about, but I’m just going to skip over that here.

…

Ugh, I guess I have to talk about the pregnancy now.

So first off, my starting point when thinking about the pregnancy is that whatever happened, it didn’t involve rape.

That’s maybe something we shouldn’t assume, but I don’t think Isayama will cross that line. Having Historia go through that trauma for basically no reason is viscerally disgusting and I trust that Isayama knows that.

Attack on Titan is ostensibly about freedom; being forced to carry a child to term is not that.

Clearly.

So I take it as a given that there was no rape.

Once you do that, thinking about the pregnancy becomes much simpler.

There are really only two possible explanations:

1. That Historia fell in love with a man, decided to have a family…and that Isayama is playing up the possibility of rape for shock value.

Or.

2. The pregnancy is somehow fake.

So which is more believable?

Honestly, I lean towards (1), though I’d prefer it be fake.

Before this chapter came out, I never felt it was likely the pregnancy was fake. There was an aura of suspicion around it, but that doesn’t prove much.

We know the pregnancy was inexplicably advantageous to Zeke, and we know that Eren and Historia were up to something right before Eren disappeared.

Isayama is clearly hiding something, but a fake pregnancy specifically?

I see no reason why it would be that and not, say, a secret romance.

That’s what really scares me though.

Most people can explain why callous depictions of rape are bad. The number of people who can explain why callous depictions of queer people are bad is much smaller.

I ship yumikuri. In fact, it’s one of the few pairs I ship.

So call me biased if you want, but the bottom line is that Ymir explicitly loved Historia, and most people would at least say Historia might have reciprocated. I personally would say she definitely did.

Ymir loved Historia.

She loved her enough to reach out to her and try to save her from her own fate.

Enough to jump from the tower and fight off the titans.

Enough to make Bertolt and Reiner turn back to get her.

Ymir did all this because she loved Historia.

But Isayama, it seems, wrote it into his story that Ymir loved Historia just to move the plot forward.

And once Ymir’s purpose as a character was fulfilled, she was removed from the story and killed off screen.

That’s a really shitty thing to do.

Establishing a queer romance just so the characters have motivation to go from Point A to B and nothing more is fucking low.

It’s cheap as hell.

It’s offensive.

But, I have to point out, not as offensive as a rape victim carrying their child to term.

I think that’s important to keep in mind.

People have written about women’s rights for centuries. Those principles are well established, if not always followed.

Gay rights just aren’t.

Most people can tell you why reducing rape to cheap drama is bad; most people cannot tell you why reducing lesbian romance to a plot device is bad.

(The answer is that they both trivialize their subjects, albeit in slightly different ways.)

I bring this up because I think people underestimate the chances that in-universe Historia is pregnant because she wants to be pregnant.

We can infer from what we know that Historia is pregnant because it’s part of a plan to help Zeke or Paradis, but we can also infer that this is not exactly the case.

It’s not directly established that Historia is pregnant because of Paradis’ or Zeke’s machinations. All we know is that these people were plotting to use her to make babies. We haven’t seen the point where she was roped into those schemes.

So I don’t think it can be discounted that Isayama plans to pair Historia up with a guy, most likely either Eren or Farm boy. Unfortunately.

Gay people don’t have many allies in this world. Unfortunately, that means Isayama is likely to *not* be one of those allies.

SNK’s record of depicting gay relationships speaks for itself.

That was all what I thought before this chapter came out.

I still think that.

So.

Now I guess I have to talk about Historia in this chapter now.

So Historia’s scene opens with her having resigned herself to a future of rape and Eren telling her she’s a human being who has rights.

…

……

I almost can’t bring myself to talk about this.

You know, back when Attack on Titan first become popular, it got a lot of praise for how feminist it was.

It was a post-apocalyptic survival horror show, and it really stood out how many prominent women there were.

Hange, Annie, Mikasa, Sasha, Historia, Rico. These people saw real action and had real characters, and a lot of people appreciated that.

Yep.

Good times. Good times.

How did we get here?

What happened?

Historia’s character is all about agency.

She wanted to end her life because she thought she was a burden. In the cavern she was prepared to take on the same burden she’s taking on right now, but she chose to live for herself.

She saved herself from that fate.

She rejected her family’s burden and chose to forge her own path.

Now it’s like that never happened.

She’s back to killing herself for everyone else’s sake, except now she’s also a damsel who needs Eren to save her.

So Eren reveals his plan to her, and she’s totally distraught over it. She tries to reason with him, and Eren just glares at her like she’s Reiner or something.

Finally we get to the most eyebrow raising moment in this exchange: when Historia invokes Ymir to justify opposing Eren.

I think Ymir is supposed to be seen as a tragic figure in Attack on Titan.

She didn’t have to take the fall for those Eldian cultists. They plucked her out of nowhere and randomly decided to worship her. She didn’t ask for any of this trouble.

But regardless, she took the fall for them.

When she got a new lease on life, she chose to live for herself. She’d put herself before everyone else for a change. She’d let no one else’s fate decide her’s.

But it never turned out that way.

I think Ymir’s tragic flaw is that she cares too much for her own good.

She was always going out of her way for others and doing more than she needed to. Helping Connie, helping Historia, helping Reiner and Bertolt.

Her enemies.

Ymir is a good person at heart, and that’s not bad, but according to Attack on Titan’s morality, being “good” to the point of self-sacrifice is bad.

I think one of the morals of Attack on Titan is that if you sacrifice yourself for other people’s sake……you end up sacrificing yourself.

Ymir could have left Reiner and Bertolt to their fates and returned to the walls. She could have lived a happy life with her friends and the girl she loved.

But she didn’t.

She knew that returning to Marley would mean death for her, and guessed what happened?

She did the thing that would likely kill her and she was killed.

Ymir couldn’t help but be a “good girl” and for that she was punished.

Thus endeth the tragedy of Ymir.

Now we come to Historia.

“If I don’t do everything in my power to stop you, I can’t live with my head held high!”

Historia is using Ymir’s words, but she’s actually betraying Ymir right now.

Ymir meant those words in the sense of living for yourself and not others. In the sense of not being self-sacrificial.

As far as Historia is concerned, in her current situation, she only has two options.

Let them rape her for the sake of her people, or let Eren destroy the world.

That’s it.

As far as Historia is concerned, to oppose Eren is to tacitly support the rape option.

So Historia is using Ymir’s words, but really it’s an insult because she’s using them to defend what Ymir would have hated.

Her self-sacrifice.

One thing that’s interesting about Attack on Titan is what it says about standing up for yourself.

In the story, not being self-sacrificial ironically requires you to make sacrifices.

If Ymir had not helped Reiner and Bertolt, they would have been in a lot more trouble with Marley. In a way, if she had not gone with them, she would have been sacrificing them, in the sense that she would have been throwing them under the bus.

When Historia chooses to live for herself in the cavern, she screams about how she’ll happily throw humanity under the bus if it means saving herself.

That’s why she calls herself “the worst girl in history.”

As opposed to Krista, who is a “good girl.”

I think that’s what Isayama is going for here.

Krista is the “good girl” who’ll gladly take a bullet for you.

Historia is the “bad girl” who’ll gladly throw you overboard if it meant she didn’t have to debase herself.

Yeah, Historia later claimed she was in the moment when she said that, but that doesn’t mean much.

When you’re in the heat of the moment, and you’re acting on pure instinct, you’re likelier to reveal parts of yourself you wouldn’t otherwise.

Being in the moment doesn’t mean Historia doesn’t identify with what she said, it means she was speaking her mind with no filter.

In 130, Historia and Eren are superficially at odds with each other, but deep down Historia thinks Eren is right.

She doesn’t want to sacrifice herself, and I’m sure she feels she shouldn’t have to, just on principle.

The only reason she accepts this fate is because she feels she has to.

So when Eren asks Historia to not oppose him, and she refuses, he tells her she has it in her to do it because she’s “the worst girl in history.”

I think Historia is the kind of person who’d throw you under the bus if she knew it’d save what she values most: her friends, yes, but also herself.

But Historia is acting more like Krista, someone who’d throw their life away to save yours.

Eren is saying she needs to start acting like herself again.

He’s trying to remind Historia of who she is and what she used to think was most important to her.

(This scene is *so* misogynistic. I’m going to puke.)

The flashbacks in this chapter were presented as vignettes, so it’s hard to say how Eren’s scene with Historia ended.

One thing that stood out to me though was the clear through line that connected all the various scenes.

The first one is Eren talking to Yelena about Zeke’s plan.

Next scene is Eren and Floch talking about the real plan.

Then it’s Eren and Historia talking about the plan.

Then back to Eren and Floch for Eren’s reveal of what he’s really doing.

Back to Historia as Eren tries to win her over.

Then we cut to Zeke and Eren talking about Mikasa.

Finally, we go back to Historia.

This flow is important because we don’t know much about Eren’s talk with Historia, but I think we can tease out some clues based on what scenes we see when.

Historia is put on the spot. Eren has revealed his plan, and she opposes it. They argue back and forth, and we reach a point where Historia is at a loss for words, and doesn’t seem to know what to do.

Then we inexplicably cut to a conversation between Zeke and Eren.

A conversation about loyalty, affection, and standing by your friends.

The implications for what this hints at are huge.

Eren asks Zeke if Mikasa cares about him so much because of some Ackermann genetics.

Zeke replies there’s no proof of that, and Mikasa probably just loves him.

Finally, Historia speaks, and she asks Eren about getting pregnant.

She doesn’t go to such great lengths for Eren because she’s a slave!

She doesn’t subject herself to this because she’s being coerced!!

It’s because she  L O V E S  him ! ! !

Fuck this! Fuck me! Fuck everything!

[miguel-manbemel]

Aspects & Fanfics Ep. 45: Beware the Paladin Part 5: The Royal Family Grows

This episode serves as an ending to the multipart story Beware the Paladin. I hope that you all have been enjoying the story so far and the ending is not disappointing to your expectations. The next story I’ll be working on will be a story out of the main narrative, a Halloween one-off special that I hope you all enjoy. So I’ll see you next time in a little less than two weeks, on Halloween. Until next time!

SYNOPSIS: Roman is scared of the fact that he’s going to have a baby, both for what he’s about to go through and because he’s going through it without Virgil by his side. Chris tries to convince Virgil to forget his differences with Roman and be with Roman when the moment comes, but Virgil shows himself reluctant and it’s improbable that Chris will manage to convince him on time before the new baby is born.

WARNINGS: Depicts a pregnancy and delivery. Implied sexual innuendo, very slight.

EPISODE INDEX

[Chris is looking right at the camera in shock]

CHRIS: I… I’m sorry I’m staring at you, guys, gals and non binary pals. I’m just… how do I say it… in shock, I guess? I mean, I shouldn’t be. After all I’m here which means that this could happen again at any time, but still… I’m rambling. I guess it will be better if I tell you what happened so that you understand why I’m… why we’re all like this. You see, Patton returned safely from the Core and thanks to a new ability that the Core gave him, now he can heal injures from the other Sides. With that new power, he cured Janus’ head injury and woke him up. With everybody ready, we all entered in autopilot and Talyn hypnotized Thomas and Joan to resynchronize Thomas’ brainwaves and restore his contact with us. That went fine… but in the meantime, my parents, Roman and Virgil, tried to fix their relationship, very damaged after the Paladin’s words. They seemed to have talked it all out and decided to give a chance to their relationship again. But then, after some time they spent in their bedroom in autopilot, suddenly they started arguing and Virgil claimed that the Paladin had taken control of Roman again, for a short time, to tell Virgil that Roman blamed him for my leg injury, and that Roman thought that Virgil was bad for my development. That was the last straw for Virgil and he decided to leave Roman’s room and return to his own room, to put his ideas in order and decide if he wanted to break up with my father definitely or not. He’s now there at this very moment… but the time they spent in the bedroom seems to have had consequences for my father… He just said… I still don’t believe what he said… excuse me, I’m gonna ask him again. Roll title screen, please.

[intro sequence]

CHRIS: I’m sorry, father… I think… I think I didn’t hear you right. Did you just say…?

ROMAN: Have you ever imagined having a brother. Yes, I just said that Chris. I think… I think I’m having a baby.

THOMAS: Gosh, Sides’ biology is so confusing… So one time Virgil gets pregnant and the next time the one who gets pregnant is you? How’s that possible?

ROMAN: Don’t ask me, Thomas. Just like you, I’m not in control of my inner organs. Yes, this time it’s me who’s got pregnant and we did nothing different from the last time, but that’s how it goes, I guess. It seems in a relationship between Sides, who’s gonna deliver the baby is just chosen randomly. This was so unexpected. We both had decided not to have any more children, and now…

LOGAN: Roman…

ROMAN: I know what you’re gonna say, that if we didn’t want more children, we should have taken protection, and that we’ve been a bunch of senseless fools. And you’re right, we should have taken protection, but we didn’t. After two weeks apart, we had just reconciled… so, we both got overwhelmed by our feelings, so repressed for so many days. They blurred our reason and… it just happened naturally. We didn’t even think about anything else other than being together sharing our mutual true love after so long. And this is the result. Born from our love, a new Side is about to join the fam.

CHRIS: Wow… I can’t believe this… I’m… I’m gonna be a big brother? [starts crying] Why am I getting so emotional all of a sudden? I know I’m Thomas’ sensitivity but how can I get so sensitive over someone I don’t even know?

PATTON: Well, kiddo, a new kid joining the family should always be a motive of rejoice, and becoming a big brother is no less emotional.

ROMAN: But this was so unexpected.

REMUS: Well, if you do it without protection, what did you expect? Did you think that a stork would deliver the baby at your door or something, like Patton believed before Logan taught him otherwise with practical lessons?

[Remus wiggles his eyebrows at Logan, who blushes and gives Remus a silent dirty look]

ROMAN: Ugh… My royal suit is starting to get too tight. Like it happened to Virgil, this is going fast, so fast I barely even have time to react about it, and my body is changing by the minute… I feel like a bag of popcorn in the microwave. And I didn’t want to deliver any kids… I’m so scared…

THOMAS: Are you saying that you don’t want to…?

ROMAN: No, I didn’t say that. I’m scared to death of what I’m about to go through… but at the same time… I don’t know… it’s a strange feeling of joy and happiness. Just like when you were born, Chris. And, same as you, I don’t even know him – because we already know it’s gonna be a him as all of us, Thomas’ Sides, share with him the same gender, age and sexuality – I don’t even know him yet, but I can’t wait to have him in my arms. I’m frightened of what comes immediately before but I can’t wait for what comes next. I do want to have him. I desperately want to have him now. I haven’t seen his face… and I already love him with all my heart. I know it’s sappy… but I can’t express it with other words.

PATTON: You’re not sappy, Roman. This is something that only those who have experienced parenthood can really understand. If there’s a form of true love at first sight, I think this is the purest form of this kind of love, a parent meeting their kid for the first time. Even before, like you said, that love is already present and strong. It happened the same to me when I had Virgil. I just looked at his tiny little face once, and I immediately knew giving him love and protecting him from all harm would be the center and purpose of my life forever. Not even the Dark Master deleting my memories could erase the love I’ve always felt for Virgil. From the moment I saw him years later, all grown up, even when I didn’t remember he was my son, I loved him with the same strength I had loved him as a baby, if not stronger.

CHRIS: Speaking about Virgil… Father, you do realize that we need to tell him about this, right?

ROMAN: I know, but I don’t want to disturb him. He wants to be alone, he made it very clear.

CHRIS: But this changes everything, father. This is important for him. He has the right to know he’s about to be a father again. Besides, his complaints come from you hiding things from him. I don’t think hiding this important event from him and denying him the chance of being present on his second son’s birth is the best way to solve your issues. It would make them even worse if possible.

PATTON: Chris is right, Roman. Wow, Chris, you have matured so fast. Now you speak like a proper adult man and I’m proud of you, kiddo.

CHRIS: [smirks] I love the contradiction of you considering me an adult man and ending the phrase with “kiddo”. It’s such a lovely trait on your part, grandpa. Thank you. [to Roman, serious again] Well, father. What do you say?

ROMAN: [beat, then he sighs] I think you’re right, Chris. Virgil needs to know and we must tell him… But I wouldn’t dare to enter his room now… I’m scared of making everything worse if I do.

CHRIS: You don’t have to tell him yourself, father. If you want me to, I can go see him in your place.

ROMAN: Ow! This suit is too tight, I can barely breathe… [summons an XL-sized version of the suit, wide enough to conceal his growing belly] There… that’s much better. It’s so weird… As I said I can already feel something moving inside of me… well, not something, someone. [puts his hands on his belly] It’s so weird, but so wholesome at the same time…

CHRIS: The pregnancy is going fast, so I can’t waste more time. I shall go to dad’s room. He should be here with you when the delivery comes.

ROMAN: Please, don’t mention the word “delivery”… I’m so scared of it, and it’s just around the corner… The Dragon Witch is just a roasted chicken compared to this battle I’ve got ahead… I seriously admire human women who can go through this, even worse than me, and stay strong… Now, Chris, are you sure you want to do this? Maybe I should swallow my fear and go tell him myself. I’m a prince and I should be brave enough to talk to my husband about this.

CHRIS: No, father. I do think that facing your fear and telling him yourself would be the right thing to do under normal circumstances. I would support you and it would make me proud that you would do that. However, in your state, it will be better that you stay here, not traveling between rooms and putting yourself in a situation of stress, cause you’ve settled down on having him and you don’t want a miscarriage, do you? If that thing is possible for us, Sides, I don’t know… Just in case, wait here, okay? I’ll go speak to him.

ROMAN: Okay… I’m so proud of you, my boy. Please, tell Virgil that I love him… [suddenly sad] No, it will be better if you don’t tell him that, I don’t want him to feel pushed.

CHRIS: [putting his hand on Roman’s cheek] He knows you love him, father, and you know that he loves you back. I’m sure everything will be fixed eventually, don’t worry. [to the others] Please, guys, take care of him while I’m gone, okay?

PATTON: Don’t worry about anything, kiddo, we’ll take care of Roman.

[Chris nods, smiling, then smiles one last time at Roman and sinks down. Then he rises up in Virgil’s room. The room is all dusty, more than what was usual for Virgil’s room, the signal of not having been inhabited for a long time]

CHRIS: Well, it seems dad didn’t have time to tidy this room yet… Dad! Dad, are you here? I know you asked me not to come, but something’s happened! Something that needs your immediate attention! Dad!

[Virgil goes down the stairs]

VIRGIL: Chris, what are you doing here? I thought I told you that I wanted to be alone.

CHRIS: I know, dad, but this is an emergency. I need you to come with me to the living room.

VIRGIL: To the living room? What for? Did something happen to Thomas?

CHRIS: No, not to Thomas. This is something about father.

VIRGIL: About Roman? What, did he turn into the Paladin again? Maybe something went wrong with the hypnosis or something? I hope it’s an emergency of that kind, because I’m not interested in anything else related to your father, not for the time being.

CHRIS: It’s not that… but listen…

VIRGIL: Chris, I understand that you love us both and I appreciate that you try to mediate between us. But you can’t just meddle into this issue like this. You could cause more harm than good.

CHRIS: Dad, listen…

VIRGIL: I don’t want to see Roman right now. So you can tell him that I’m not interested in anything that he…

CHRIS: [interrupting him, yelling] You’re gonna be a father again!

[Virgil looks at Chris, stunned and speechless]

CHRIS: Yes, that’s what I came here to tell you. Father has gotten pregnant of you and you both are about to give me a little brother.

VIRGIL: A… a new son? But… but how? I thought that I was the one that…

CHRIS: So did we, but it seems we were all wrong. Father’s pregnancy has already started and you know how fast this goes. He will be delivering soon, and he would love you to be there when the time comes to support him.

VIRGIL: But… I’m not ready to face him yet.

CHRIS: Dad, please. Can’t you push aside your differences just for a couple of hours? He needs you now, he’s so scared. You should know better since you’ve also delivered a child, me. I don’t remember, of course, but I bet you’ll never forget how you felt before that. That’s how Roman is feeling right now. Please, dad, I beg you. Come with me.

VIRGIL: [anxious] I… I can’t… I can’t! This is like some sort of emotional blackmail, is it not? He sent you as his tool to make me feel like trash and push me into coming back! Well, if he thinks he’s gonna manipulate me into coming back to him just because…

CHRIS: [angry yelling, interrupting Virgil] Are you listening to yourself!? It’s Roman we’re talking about, not the Dark Master, for f… [bleep] sake! Father didn’t want to tell you at first, because he didn’t want to disturb you in your retirement! It was me who thought that you had the right to know the news! He was so afraid to tell you in person he wouldn’t dare to bother you! Heck, he was afraid of even asking me to tell you that he loves you, so don’t you f… [bleep] dare to say he would…!

[Chris stops mid sentence, trying to calm himself down, while Virgil doesn’t say a word. Then Chris sighs and speaks with a calmer voice that can’t conceal the disappointment]

CHRIS: I’m sorry… You’re still my dad and I should speak to you with respect… Well, now you know the news, and you are free to do with this information whatever you consider. But if you want my humble opinion… Father was there supporting you when you delivered me. Now, he’s going through those exact same feelings of terror, insecurity and pain you went through back then, and I think it would be fair that you were there supporting him, at least while it happens, just like he was there supporting you when you went through that. Then, you both are free to stay separated, to divorce, or to do whatever the heck you want to do with your lives as free adult Sides, but now Roman needs you. If you don’t want to be there as a husband, at least be there as a friend to comfort him, and be there also as the father of the creature that’s coming to this world, who also has the right to enjoy your presence. That’s all I have to say, dad, and I won’t force you to do anything. I’m going back to father, because if you don’t wanna be there, I’ll try to fill your place and support him. But you and I know very well it won’t be the same for him. Bye, dad.

[Chris looks at Virgil one last time with eyes of huge disappointment, then sinks down. Virgil looks at the empty spot, still speechless after his son’s speech. Then, Chris rises up in the living room. Roman’s belly is already huge]

ROMAN: Well… How did it go?

CHRIS: I gave him the news. He said he’s not ready to face you yet… among other things I’ll better keep for myself.

ROMAN: [sad] I see… Well, thanks for trying, son.

CHRIS: Don’t worry, father. If he doesn’t want to be with you, I will be with you. You’re not alone, okay?

[Roman smiles sadly at Chris]

ROMAN: Thank you, son. I love you so much.

THOMAS: And we’re all here for you too, Roman. You are not alone by any means.

ROMAN: I know, guys, and I thank you all… It’s just… that this isn’t gonna be the same without Virgil. And I don’t mean only this happening right now. My life as a whole is not gonna be the same without Virgil by my side. I thought we were gonna grow old together, and now…

[Roman can’t help a little sob. Chris hugs Roman]

CHRIS: It’s okay, father. It’s okay. Things will get better and you’ll feel better in time, you’ll see.

ROMAN: [in pain] Aw, it hurts! Aw!

CHRIS: [startled, suddenly releasing Roman from his hug] What!? Did I hurt you on the belly with my hug!? I’m sorry!

ROMAN: No, Chris, it’s not the hug, it’s…! Aw! [puts his hand on his belly as if he was in a terrible pain]

LOGAN: The baby is coming!

CHRIS: Already!? Oh, my gosh!

TALYN: Wow, I came here to perform a session of hypnosis, I didn’t expect to witness a birth.

JOAN: Me neither, but that’s what you get when you hung up with the Sanders Sides, I guess. Every day is an adventure.

[Roman summons a hospital gown around him]

ROMAN: I hope you don’t mind if I summon my own gown, Logan. Nobody needs to see my posterior, you know? I mean, they would be wowed by it’s beauty, but that’s a view I reserve only for… [suddenly sad again] …well, you know who… [in pain, yelling] Ugh! Get me to the couch or I’ll drop the baby right on the floor!

[Logan and Janus help Roman lie down on the couch. Chris holds Roman’s hand]

CHRIS: I’m here with you, all the way through.

ROMAN: Thanks, Chris, I…

[suddenly Virgil rises up. Everybody looks at him]

ROMAN: [surprised and a little afraid] Vi… Virgil…

VIRGIL: [shy voice, looking away] Are… are you okay, Roman?

CHRIS: [slightly reproachful] You took your time, dad. You almost didn’t make it.

VIRGIL: I… I’m sorry, guys… I was afraid that you all would be mad at me after what I said… If you want me to leave, I’ll understand.

THOMAS: No, don’t leave! You don’t need to be afraid of us, Virgil. We’re your friends and family. We don’t hate you and we’re not mad at you.

VIRGIL: There’s more, though… [to Roman] Roman, I… I was afraid to show up here and be rejected by you… just like I rejected you earlier. I guess this all comes down to my fear of rejection. After the Paladin said these words through your lips… I feared that you would eventually reject me and… I rejected you before you had the chance of doing it first. I guess you were right from the start. I… I’m a paranoid after all. [ironic titter] Even now, I’m imagining that everyone in this room is against me, somehow…

PATTON: We’re not, Virgil. Like Thomas said, we love you.

ROMAN: Virgil… You’re my reason to live. How could I reject you? And you’re not a paranoid… not any more than anyone of us and certainly not any more than me. We all fear rejection. Just a moment ago, I was afraid of being rejected by you, that’s why Chris stepped in to tell you what’s going on with me. But I love you… I always loved you and I think I forever will. If you only gave me the chance, I’d show you that I wouldn’t let you down, and that I would never, ever reject you. I promise.

VIRGIL: Roman, I…

ROMAN: And please, whatever you decide, I beg you, don’t listen to the words I said as the Paladin. He’s only a part of me that I can’t control, who always puts in my mouth things out of context in twisted ways, trying to put you away from me. That’s not me. I swear that’s not me and I don’t think the things he says.

JANUS: Virgil, you asked me the other day if the Paladin was saying the truth, and I detected he was. But now I’m telling you that Roman is saying the truth too, which means either that the Paladin is such a good liar that he can fool even me, or the most probable, that he’s so insane that he believes his own lies, which makes him undetectable by me, because for him, it’s the truth. You can trust Roman in this.

ROMAN: With Thomas’ treatment, I hope the Paladin will stay locked up inside of me and never come back out again. But if he ever tries, know that I will fight him with all my strength, to defend you from him and his poisonous words so that he never harms you again. I’ll protect you with my life from him if need be. By my royal crown, I swear I won’t let him break my family again if you give me the chance to put my family back together again! Please, Virgil!

VIRGIL: [tearing up] I’m sorry, Roman. I should have trusted you better and not let my fears overwhelm me. I still love you and I never wanted to leave you, because you too are my reason to live, Roman, and I think I’d be miserable… no, I already was miserable without you.

[Roman gives an emotional smile to Virgil]

ROMAN: You’re making me the happiest creature on existence with these words, Virgil. I love you, so… so… much… [suddenly in pain] Ugh! But I guess I’ll have to show you my love later, because there’s a little baby that can’t wait to be ejected out of mi body! Aw!

VIRGIL: [rushing towards Roman] Keep calm, Roman. [to Chris, who is still holding Roman’s hand] Can I…?

[Chris steps aside, smiling fondly at Virgil]

CHRIS: Of course, dad. His hand has always been yours to hold. It’s a shame that the couch is next to the wall, or else I would have placed myself on the other side to hold his other hand. Of course, I could always stretch my arm, but…

ROMAN: [in pain, but smiling nevertheless] Nnghh! You’re holding it in spirit, my son, don’t worry. Besides, I don’t want Thomas to get sick again because of the stretchy arms…

THOMAS: Thanks for noticing me…

LOGAN: Okay, you already know how this goes, Roman. The baby has taken the form of gas that is circulating inside your body, looking for the way out. When it reaches the exit, the pain will disappear, but until then, you need to push when I tell you, okay?

ROMAN: Okay…

LOGAN: And I hope you don’t fart on my face, like Virgil did…

VIRGIL: [titters] Yeah, me too… Sorry about that, Logan…

LOGAN: It’s all right, Virgil. Okay, Roman. Ready? Push!

[Roman starts pushing. His struggling face is full of sweat]

VIRGIL: Come on, Roman. You’re the strongest man I know, much stronger than me. If I could do it, so you can.

LOGAN: Okay, one more try. Push with all your might… now!

ROMAN: [struggling] Ngggghhhhhh! I’m never doing it again without protection! Nnnngggghhhhh!

LOGAN: Come on, Roman, I thought you were a warrior! I’m sure you can do better. Push again! Push as if you were figuratively fighting the Dragon Witch and sticking your sword inside her tummy! Push, now!

ROMAN: [now with tears in his eyes, his face is all red out of the struggle, yelling] GGGAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

[crimson smoke starts coming out of Roman’s body. While it forms a cloud, Roman’s belly shrinks back to its normal flat form, until all the smoke is out of him]

ROMAN: [concerned, and relieved from the pain at the same time] Cri… crimson?

LOGAN: That’s another possible combination of red and purple, this time with red dominating.

VIRGIL: Yes, but what do you think it means that his color is crimson? I mean, the only one we’ve seen crimson is… you know…

LOGAN: …the Paladin, I know, yes, but don’t worry. I don’t think this baby will be related in any way with the Paladin. This has to be a coincidence, that’s all.

VIRGIL: Okay, if you say so…

[the crimson cloud descends upon Roman’s arms and a baby materializes. Oddly enough, he doesn’t cry, he just stares at Roman with a cute face of curiosity and determination]

ROMAN: Oh, my gosh… I…

VIRGIL: He’s just as brave and determined as his father. Look, he’s so strong-willed he doesn’t even cry.

[the baby lets go a cute little giggle and puts his little hand on Roman’s cheek, trying to grab it. Roman is the one who immediately starts crying. After him, both Virgil and Chris giggle and cry at the same time]

TALYN: Oh, my gosh, he’s just so cuuute… Look at his little hands, Joan…

JOAN: I’m getting a little emotional, and I didn’t expect to end the day this way, at all.

THOMAS: Well, welcome to my world once again, Joan. [to Virgil and Roman] I’m so happy for you two, guys.

REMUS: I’m Uncle Remus for the second time. How proud can an uncle be?

PATTON: My, I have two grandsons now. I’ve got a huge family of kiddos to spoil now, I’m so happy!

IAN: Congratulations, guys. After all you’ve been through, I’m happy that at least you have a moment of happiness to compensate, even if just a little bit, the distress you’ve been suffering lately.

JANUS: I’m not glad at all that I could wake up on time to witness this. I’m an uncle-in-law again, who would have thought?

ROMAN: Thank you guys, all of you.

LOGAN: Well, congratulations, family. How are you going to name him?

ROMAN: I’m too tired right now to think of a name, Virgil. Have you got any ideas?

VIRGIL: Well, if it was a girl, I would have chosen Hope.

ROMAN: Hope? Why?

VIRGIL: Because that’s what his little giggle inspired me. It calmed my anxiousness, and gave me hope for the future. Could it be that he’s the Side of Thomas in charge of his hope?

THOMAS: It would be beautiful if it was so. How can we know for certain, Logan?

LOGAN: Unfortunately, without my checking ability, I can’t examine the baby to see what Side of Thomas he exactly is. Patton already tried to restore my power with his new healing ability but it didn’t work, unfortunately. We’ll have to wait until the baby grows to find out.

PATTON: I’m sorry I couldn’t do more, Logan, but your ability is out of reach for me to heal it, it seems. Or maybe it’s not a matter of lack of health on your part and it’s something else, I don’t know. In any case, I’m sorry I couldn’t help you more.

LOGAN: You don’t have to apologize for anything, Patton, it’s not your fault, and I’ll be fine. But returning to the subject about the baby’s name, if I may be of help, I have an idea for a male name that means “hope.”

VIRGIL: Really? What is it.

LOGAN: And it’s only appropriate, due to Thomas’ Irish heritage, that the boy’s name would be of Irish origin. Do you like the name Dillon? It means “ray of hope” in Irish.

VIRGIL: Dillon? Ray of hope? [heartwarming smile] That’s exactly what I felt, a ray of hope straight to my heart. I love it… What do you think, Roman?

ROMAN: I love it too. Thank you so much, Logan.

VIRGIL: Then Dillon it will be. Dillon Benjamin Sanders.

ROMAN: Why Benjamin?

VIRGIL: It is after Ben Platt. You named our first son Christian Gerard after Gerard Way knowing how much I love My Chemical Romance. It was only fair that I in turn named our second son Dillon Benjamin after one of your favorite musical actors.

ROMAN: Thank you. I love you, Virgil. And I love you too, my dear Dillon Benjamin Sanders.

[everybody in the room starts looking at the baby with smiles of happiness. Time goes by and it’s nighttime. Everybody has left the living room except the family, Thomas and Joan. Roman his holding the baby, giving him his first bottle of milk, while Thomas and Joan are in the kitchen making dinner]

ROMAN: [holding the bottle while the baby drinks] I want to treasure these moments for as long as they last, as I know that, in any moment, Dillon will start growing up at light speed, like you did, Chris. I want to enjoy Dillon’s infancy, as I know it’s gonna be short, really short. This is his first bottle of milk, but it will also probably be his last.

CHRIS: I’m sorry I couldn’t give you more time. Before you had the time to get used to the idea of having me, I was already an adult. It’s not fair, is it?

VIRGIL: It is not, certainly. I would have loved to live the experience of seeing you growing up day by day, year by year, teaching you all I know, doing my best to make you a good Side, making sure that I could set you ready to the world of adulthood. Like any parent, I guess. But one moment you were in the cradle, and the next moment you were practicing archery and sword fencing. And I don't remember anything in-between, if there even was anything in-between.

CHRIS: I would have loved to live that experience too, dad. But don’t you worry. If I may speak, you have already done your best to make me a good Side, even if sometimes I made it difficult.

VIRGIL: Thank you, son. I really appreciate your words. But you haven’t been much difficult. If anything, I was the one making things difficult for both of us sometimes.

CHRIS: Dad… father… I really hate saying this right after all that has happened, but I have to be honest to you and to myself.

ROMAN: What is it, son? Is something wrong?

CHRIS: Wrong? No… not really… I think… Dad… Father… Would you be very disappointed if… if I left your room to live independently in my own room?

[Virgil and Roman look at Chris, not saying a word]

CHRIS: [nervous, slight stutter, moving his hands nervously] It… It doesn’t have to be just now. I wouldn’t leave until I made sure that father was totally fine and you didn’t need me… but I need to experience life and build a room of my own in the Mind Palace. Like I said, it’s not fair that I grew up so fast that you couldn’t spend more time raising me up… but that doesn’t change the fact that I grew up and I’m an adult and…

VIRGIL: [putting his hand on Chris’ hands to stop him from moving them compulsively] Chris…

CHRIS: Yes, dad?

VIRGIL: You don’t need to try so hard to convince us. We are your parents, and we love you. Besides, we knew this day had to come one day or another. It’s a law of life that the son leaves the nest to build a new nest of his own. It would be criminal if we opposed to that and you are not a property of us that we should keep in a jar unable to experience life on their own. We understand and we don’t have any objections. Just remember that we’ll always be here for you, for whatever you may need us, okay?

[Chris gives an emotional smile to Virgil]

CHRIS: Of course, dad… Of course.

ROMAN: Virgil speaks for both of us, Chris. I will only add that we’re very, very proud of you, and we know that you’re ready to make us proud no matter where you go. Chase your dreams, Chris. Life is too short to do anything else.

CHRIS: Thank you, father… [tears fall down his cheeks] Gosh… Why am I crying? It’s not like I’m leaving to the end of the world, my room will be in the same Mind Palace as yours, dag nabbit! I know I said I’m an adult, and I know I’m gonna be super sappy, but… dad… could you hug me like you briefly did when I was a baby… one last time, so that at least I have a memory of how it feels like?

VIRGIL: [also in tears] Come here, my boy.

[Virgil hugs Chris tightly, and they both sob]

[end card]

THOMAS: Okay, dinner’s rea… what’s going on, guys?

ROMAN: It’s nothing, just some family bonding before our boy spreads his wings and becomes an independent man. He’s moving away to build his own room.

THOMAS: Oh?

CHRIS: Not today, father. As I said, I’m not leaving until I make sure you are okay. Besides, I want to spend some time with my brother before I go.

ROMAN: [suddenly struggling, but not losing the smile] Well, now that you say so, I could use some help with your brother right now, because his weight is starting to crush me. Help me, please!

[Chris quickly grabs Dillon. He has already grown to five year old size, he sits him down on the couch]

DILLON: Sorry.

JOAN: Heh… It’s funny. A human’s first word is usually mama or papa, and his first word has been “sorry”.

CHRIS: Well, my first word was “pizza”, so…

VIRGIL: You do remember?

CHRIS: It’s my oldest memory. Me in the cradle begging for pizza.

DILLON: Ew! Pizza! Gross!

CHRIS: What? What do you mean you don’t like pizza? It’s the best food in the world!

DILLON: Then you can keep it all for yourself! I don’t like that kind of food. I prefer veggies, like eggplant, zucchini, Brussels sprouts, broccoli, and above all else…

CHRIS: Don’t…

DILLON: …carrots.

EVERYBODY IN THE ROOM EXCEPT JOAN: Eeeeewwwww!

DILLON: What? They’re delicious, and a good source of vitamins A and D, which is good for the eyes and the skin! You’ll envy me when I have golden skin in the summer and you stay all pail!

JOAN: Well, Thomas, it seems there’s a part of you that, deep inside, loves carrots. Or maybe it’s the part of you that is conscious that it’s good for you to eat healthy, even if you don’t like it.

THOMAS: I guess so… Carrots, ew…

VIRGIL: [smirks] Maybe this was my fault… Patton’s cream of broccoli actually contains carrots and that’s the last meal we had before Roman and I… And you know they say you are what you eat, so…

ROMAN: [over the top dramatic voice] Carrots? You made me eat carrots!? Virgil, how could you do this to me!? I trusted you! [giggling] Seriously now, that cream of broccoli is so delicious I don’t care what it’s made with. And may I say, Virgil, you really improved on the recipe.

VIRGIL: Compared with my first try when I almost destroyed the kitchen, anything would be an improvement… but thanks for the compliment, my love.

CHRIS: Gosh, I’m so happy to see you two like this again. I don’t know if I would have had it in my heart to move out leaving anyone of you in that situation. Now I can leave in peace, knowing that you’ll be all right together.

ROMAN: Yes, sorry, Chris. This must have been awful for you and you were caught in the middle.

VIRGIL: I’m sorry too if we caused you any distress.

CHRIS: Well, all’s well that ends well. Right, Dillon?

DILLON: [adult voice] Indeed.

[Chris and the others get startled when Dillon speaks with an adult voice. They all look at him. Now, indeed, Chris is an adult Side like the others, and he’s already wearing his outfit. He’s dressed with a crimson tunic, looking like a wizard. He also carries what looks like a magic wand, like the one Merlin uses in the Disney movie “The Sword and the Stone”. He’s also wearing on the neck a golden medallion with three jewels on it, a red ruby, a purple amethyst and a crimson garnet. On his chest, he sports his logo, a crimson almond-shaped figure divided in two, one half is red and the other is purple, and inside of it a flower in the middle that looks like an almond blossom]

DILLON: What? It looks as if you had just seen a ghost.

[after a short moment of silence, Virgil is the first to talk]

VIRGIL: Aww! We didn’t have time to introduce Dillon to your brother and to Ira before he grew up! They’ll surely be bummed when they find out!

ROMAN: It’s okay. After what happened last time with Chris, I didn’t have the intention of taking that risk again. We’ll go to Sandersia tomorrow, when we’re all well rested and ready to face… whatever, who knows who will come after us next. But we’ll be ready for them.

THOMAS: Well, all I’m gonna say is… welcome to the family, Dillon. Oh, and one more thing. Dinner’s getting cold, so what the heck are you still doing there? Come on, guys!

[every body rushes to the counter to grab a serving of food]

[bugonalog]

I just finished my teen wolf rewatch and I just gotta say it. Season 6b was by far the worst. I’m about to get rambly here so hold on to your hats.

- it defo felt like they just tacked it on to the end. It was extra. We didn’t really need it. The end of 6a was far better imo.

- idk but I feel like a lot of it had to do with the lack of Stiles. There was pretty much no comic relief for the entire season and that really kinda just bogged it down for me.

- it could also be that Monroe/Monroe and Gerard were not compelling villains. Killing for the sake of killing is never a good motivation for your characters, it falls flat every time. Nolan however was a compelling villain because you can tell the whole time that he is legitimately acting out of fear but he doesn’t know what he’s more afraid of and every time he’s on screen you’re just screaming for someone to save this poor boy who is being manipulated and used and abused even though he’s still doing the bad things. Give your villains motivation. Pure evil just because is boring.

- and then there’s the fact that they introduced so many new interesting characters just to have them killed off almost immediately. Like those two werewolf kids who were killed like an episode after they showed up. Or the freaking science teacher who gets to be more than that for like ten minutes during which time we find out that she is not only a werewolf but the ALPHA of a hella notorious (apparently, but seeing as we only ever heard about them 6 minutes before I have my doubts) pack that left all their humanity behind (and yet their alpha is a science teacher) but then we never see her again. Or the new hellhound who is over 100 years old, built Eichen and then froze himself inside it? Hello? We deserved more of him. But no they had to kill him.

- and they brought back old characters (but not any of the ones we wanted *cough cough Issac*) for no reason too. Ethan and Jackson? Cute, a little weird seeing as we haven’t seen either of them in a long ass time, nice little throwback, completely irrelevant to the plot. Like, they come back, get captured, get out, get turned to stone, get turned back, and leave. They don’t even help solve anything they just cause more problems. Deucalion? Fine. Teach them how to fight blind. How did they get ahold of him? How did he get there so fast? Why did he even bother? Why is he suddenly a pascifist? Idk just so many things about him coming back don’t make sense. And then he just dies. And Scott is all upset about it? You hate him shut up. I mean I know you’re like the ultimate empath but come on. And then there’s Deaton who we haven’t seen in like a season and a half. But he’s just back, out of the blue for like one episode and then he’s gone again and no one questions it. Like come on we can do better than that. Then there’s Brett and Lori. Ok cool, they show up every once in a while for a couple episodes then dip again. Whatever it’s fine. But then they killed them? My sunshine babies who have never done anything wrong in their lives (except that time that Brett high key bullied Liam. Oops)? No way Lori died by getting hit by that car. Brett in the state he was in yeah I can believe it but Lori? Nah fam she totes should have been able to just walk that off. The car wasn’t even going that fast.

- then there’s Scott and Malia. The first time I watched 6b I was completely blindsided by that and honestly this go round wasn’t much better. No matter how hard I try I just can’t see the chemistry there. And they play a pretty big role in the season so... idk do better. Give us some more build up. Something. I wanna feel it.

- and this one is just personal preference but I really didn’t like the flash forward in the last episode. I really couldn’t tell you why I just don’t.

Yeah all of that, plus probably some more stuff that I can’t think of right now just made 6b not good for me. They did do some good stuff though.

- as I already said Nolan was a great villain, and I feel like his redemption didn’t really need and arc (which is good since there wasn’t one, you got lucky with that one Teen Wolf I usually kill people over redemption arcs) because the entire time you know and he knows that he’s not ever really sure what side he’s on. He was with Monroe but it’s been very clear since the beginning that he was never WITH Monroe. They even made that a plot point and a trap. Yeah just good job with Nolan. You did good with that one.

- Theo raeken my dudes. Not gonna lie I may just have stuck it out for that little bitch. Idk I just really love characters who put on such a tough exterior and pretend like they don’t care about anyone or anything but when it comes down to it they will both kill and be killed for those people that they are pretending not to care about. Yeah that’s good shit. We get to watch Theo drag himself kicking and screaming back to his own humanity and it’s just good. (Not gonna mention Thiam here because it’s not what this is about but good god I’m still mad about that. Theo is SOFT for Liam when they’re not driving each other insane and I just think that’s neat). And honestly ending his arc with him taking Gabes pain is so GOOD. Mason tells him that you can’t take pain if you dont care and he’s low key kinda offended by that, like you can see it in his face he hates that these people think so low of him even though he knows they are 100% right to do so and just... oof. But then he’s able to take gabes pain because he recognizes himself in it. He sees that Gabe was used and manipulated and betrayed by the people who were supposed to be looking out for him. He sees a kid who is suffering and scared and in pain and completely and utterly alone and he knows what it feels like. They may not be on the same side. Gabe may have been trying to kill him not two minutes earlier but Theo will be damned if he lets this kid die in pain when he knows all too well what drove him to this point. He sees himself in Gabe and doesn’t want him to be alone the way he was as he’s dying.

- Morey. Mason and Corey. Literally my heart just melts every time they are on screen. Corey is a ray of sunshine and I will protect him with my life.

Ok I think that’s it. Bye.

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: Oi Janis: I've got a great idea Jimmy: Go on Janis: If we have to go on these dates and shit to make it credible, it should at least be profitable, yeah? Janis: gotta get something out of it, aside from being left alone, like Jimmy: you offering to pay me, rich girl? Jimmy: tah very much Janis: Ha, no Janis: should've done that upfront, no hidden costs lad Janis: but apparently, if we go in these places, say its one of our birthdays, we can get free shit Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: free shit like drinks or free shit like a song? Janis: Free like you ain't gonna have to sing for your supper Janis: depends how convincing you reckon you can be Jimmy: Put upon boyfriend out celebrating his spoilt gf's birthday isn't that much of a stretch for me Jimmy: been there, worn the matching coupley t-shirt Janis: How spoilt can I really be if I'm fine with free cake and shit Janis: but alright, be my birthday first Jimmy: the free cake is a bonus on top of all the #goals shit we've been doing before & will keep doing after that we'll talk loudly about in front of our even more put upon server Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Of course Janis: definitely don't get paid enough and tipping kind of goes against what we're doing here, soz Jimmy: If they do a top job with their bit of the performance could always slip 'em Pete's number and see if he'll let 'em in band Jimmy: be classed as the ultimate gift that Janis: nice that your #solidarity extends beyond caffiene based services Janis: dunno who died and made you his manager Jimmy: gutted that you'd have to kill many a groupie to have your go Jimmy: 💔💔💔💔💔 Jimmy: bitter as the CG's cup of the day you, mate Janis: Bitch please Janis: have you seen me Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: and here you are having ideas that'll mean I see more of you Janis: Erm, definitely YOUR idea Jimmy: all these dates were nowt to do with me Jimmy: I don't bother with my real birthday Janis: Nah, idiot Janis: one date Janis: hit as many places as we can Janis: see who can get the best shit Jimmy: and see who voms first Jimmy: but alright Jimmy: I'm in Janis: That's a thing you do? Janis: thanks for the warning, I suppose but not gonna hold back your hair still Jimmy: did you not get the memo about me being Mia protege? I'll resend it's a decent read Jimmy: we got jackets but I can't fit in mine yet #motivation Janis: 😂 Janis: should know she likes to leave me out as much as she thinks about me Janis: treat 'em mean is her whole #mood, obvs Jimmy: but I love to include you Judy 😍😍😍 Jimmy: must've missed that memo myself Janis: Has she not rushed to correct you and stake claims? Janis: Disappointing Jimmy: not til I reach my goal weight, dear Jimmy: multitasking uses more braincells than she's got functioning Janis: 💔💔💔💔💔 Janis: for you or for her, who knows Jimmy: sharesies 💕 Janis: 🤢 Janis: don't trigger me Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: When we doing this then? Janis: When can you Janis: I ain't eat yet Jimmy: gimme like an hour Jimmy: two max Janis: 👍 Janis: where you at or we meeting in town Jimmy: Go buy yourself a badge and party hat Jimmy: I'll meet you there Janis: 😑 Janis: really Jimmy: convincing you said Janis: I know but are we convincing them that I'm 6, like Janis: you want the kids menu you can ask Jimmy: if you wanna swap roles, say the word, Jill Jimmy: I look sexy af in a sash Janis: I'll get you one then Janis: help me win Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: You'll need all the help you can get to beat me Janis: Confident now you've secured a costume Janis: you do you, boy Jimmy: such a #hater you Janis: just a natural-born winner Jimmy: Easy to say Jimmy: We ain't hitting up your daddy's place, rich girl Jimmy: You're gonna have to do something Janis: 🙄 Janis: yeah that was the plan Janis: fake meet the fam is too much Jimmy: 💔🎻💔 Janis: Yeah yeah Jimmy: save your enthusiasm for your fake birthday bash, babe Janis: You could save your tears for when they might get us more freebies too Janis: just so you know Jimmy: I thought you wanted to be the winner Jimmy: make your mind up Janis: I could heroically cheer you up Janis: get with the times Jimmy: am I meant to be crying 'cause you've survived the year 🔪 or 'cause you didn't get any hotter? 👵💕 Janis: Do you wanna survive the meal, darling Janis: that's the real question Jimmy: if the food's better than the company, might do Janis: 🖕 Janis: why I should be crying Janis: just need to be convincingly dating Janis: not old married couple Janis: much to your disappointment, I know Jimmy: yeah I've got the full orchestra playing as we speak Janis: Gonna stick with my workout playlist if it's all the same to you Jimmy: 🤤 Janis: I'm sure Janis: Like you said, those calories don't purge themselves Jimmy: Mhmm, we don't need to fake date so hard you get fat, that's #goals for nobody Janis: You ain't that fake special, babe Janis: 💔 Jimmy: Too soon for a food baby vs fake pregnancy guessing game either so keep at it with the workouts, girl Janis: You're trying to give the wrong twin a complex, boy Janis: works dead good on her though, if you wanna change your mind on how interested you are Jimmy: she free in an hour or two? Janis: ask her Jimmy: hang on then Janis: no need Janis: in the clear if you've changed your mind Jimmy: damn she's washing Mia's hair Jimmy: 💔💔 Jimmy: you'll have to do Janis: not the first time she's let me down Janis: s'alright Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: How fancy are the restaurants we're hitting? Jimmy: [sends pic of what he's wearing with a 👍 on one hand and a 👎 on the other like yay or nay] Janis: Not Janis: so 👍 Janis: can leave the tux in the cleaners, like Jimmy: another night slumming it, eh?  can leave your 🐎 at home too then, sweetheart Janis: not setting up the world's shittest joke, tah Janis: 🐎🍻 Jimmy: You'd need a sense of humor for that Jimmy: and a better venue 🍽 doesn't have the same #bants Janis: I'll laugh at all your 'jokes' when there's people around to hear Janis: not exclusive to fake relationships that's just standard, burst your bubble Jimmy: 😍💕😍😍💕 Janis: Ugh, you're keen Jimmy: you had me at freebies 💘 Jimmy: just a poor boy pretending to love a girl over here Janis: asking her to pretend love him back Janis: seen the film, got the memo Jimmy: clocking up all the hours you won't get back you Janis: Obviously Janis: hoping god's keeping track Jimmy: you gonna make me say grace over the 🍞🍷 Jimmy: 'cause we established your sister ain't free even for 3 times and a mirror Janis: Maybe Janis: actually have to take this serious then Janis: do your homework, kid Jimmy: bubble bursting's your fave but I'll be the one to tell you he ain't #real if you need 🎅 too Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: Is for rich kids, ain't you heard Janis: #blessed ain't just a # babe Jimmy: you'd know Janis: exactly Jimmy: tah for the inside scoop on what I coulda had, mate Janis: you seem very interested Janis: keep bringing it up so Janis: welcome Jimmy: in your 💰💰💰 yeah, I am Jimmy: gonna ask you to fake marry me asap Janis: soz, don't actually need a beard Jimmy: better not drop the 💍 in your dinner later then Jimmy: 👌 Janis: don't be discouraged Janis: plenty of others left Jimmy: 🙏🙏 Jimmy: lucky me Jimmy: You're right, Jenna, #blessed ain't just a # Janis: I know Janis: keep up Jimmy: 🏃 Janis: could use it Janis: new boy shine won't last forever Jimmy: 🤞 Jimmy: won't need you then Janis: 🤞 Janis: let's hope so or you'll have to think of a way to make this worthwhile Jimmy: so romantic and so threatening 💕 Janis: that's me Jimmy: 😍 Janis: Idiot Jimmy: Save the sweet talk Janis: You're gonna have to do better Jimmy: nowt better than your pillowtalk baby Janis: 😂 Janis: you wish Jimmy: I ain't wishing for owt but 🎂 Jimmy: I've not ate either Janis: you at work Jimmy: nah Jimmy: I opened Janis: bummer Janis: could've started off the freebies unofficial, like Jimmy: full of good ideas you Jimmy: you ain't tasted most of the shit in the cabinet though 💀💀💀 Janis: I ain't scared, boy Jimmy: weren't a challenge Janis: 🤷 Janis: boring Jimmy: piss off Janis: alright Janis: in a bit then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [during] Janis: socials are popping off Janis: 💪 Jimmy: 🏆 Jimmy: do my victory lap now, like Janis: stop by the bar on your way then Janis: 🥃 is empty Jimmy: [does but let's say he's talked his way into some kind of 🍸freebie so he's 😏] Janis: can't stop winning, like Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt girl Janis: lemme taste it first Janis: usually more sugar than booze Jimmy: I didn't make it, June, I blagged it Janis: letdown Janis: leave it off socials that there's an end to your talents, obvs Jimmy: leave it out Jimmy: I'll make you one in a bit if you're 💔 Janis: cool it tom cruise Janis: it's alright Jimmy: I know you ain't gutted I ain't that short Janis: [is 😏] Janis: true, way too many nice points in ignoring that and getting with you anyway Janis: not trying to be sainted for my new rep Jimmy: yeah yeah 😈 you Jimmy: [a flirty look cos we all know what's up] Janis: [returns it duh even if you're drinking that drink faster now] Janis: got to that point in the date have we Jimmy: [nods to whoever is coming to clear the plates as if he planned that but obvs didn't] Jimmy: might as well milk our last chances before we're onto the next Jimmy: 💕 Janis: [just a look like mhmm] Janis: go on then Janis: I'll go freshen up or whatever it is I'm meant to do and you try get us some doggy bags or something Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: [leans across the table & said plates which are being cleared to kiss her like they are one of those obliviously loved up couples] Janis: [being that bitch like sorry but not when you get up to go like the poor waitress is meant to be #invested 'cos you also know the type, least they are actually cute but still] Jimmy: [clearly does score something for them cos this place is extra if they giving out 🍸] Janis: I'm coming back 'cos any longer they'll think I'm taking a dump Janis: not very goals Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: time to move along anyway, my dear Janis: [comes back and has taken her hair down to show she's been doing 'freshening' 'cos I wanna ha] Jimmy: [when she looks really fucking good so he's trying not to stare at her & basically throws the freebies at her cos] Janis: [walking away lads heist of the century] Janis: s'alright, giving me your jacket is probably a bit cliche, like Jimmy: my jacket ain't got nowt you can eat in the pockets Jimmy: [waves a 🚬 at her tho cos is in there & asking if she wants] Janis: [does] Janis: you a feeder or just trying to 💀 me now Jimmy: You'll have to pay to unlock my kinks Jimmy: [lights her up though cos never can stop himself] Janis: [does a little amused lol] Janis: just saying, solid out with Mia and co Jimmy: Tah, I'll run with it Jimmy: had to break up with you 'cause you're too 💪 and won't over-eat for me Jimmy: 💔💔🎻🎻💔 Janis: and you're short and have a complex Janis: cool Jimmy: and you fancy Cruise and wish I was Jimmy: soz babe Jimmy: should've twigged when your idea of netflix and chill was so him heavy Janis: Not only are you tryna make me fat, it's you who's stopping me wearing heels Janis: out of order, tbh babe Jimmy: nobody's believing you wanna wear heels Jimmy: platform trainers maybe Janis: that's the whole point of this init Janis: new year new me 💁💯 Jimmy: [does a 🙄] Janis: See Janis: total Napolean, you Jimmy: You wish Jimmy: so thirsty for midgets you Janis: makes fake dating you easier, yeah Jimmy: [playfully shoves her as he pulls her into the next place] Janis: [maybe there's a bit of a queue so they have to stand there and wait and be gross and couply in the doorway for all to see, just leaning on him casually] Jimmy: [yeah cos then he can play with her hair when he's kissing her etc which you know is a mood since she took it down] Janis: [should defs be the place that ain't having it after waiting] Jimmy: [agreed but they ain't that mad secretly cos this wait is fun 😏] Janis: ok this waitress is immune to charm Janis: we're bailing before the bill Jimmy: yours Jimmy: if I'd have done it you'd be tucking into a sundae with a sparkler by now Janis: your delusions ain't making me feel better Jimmy: your whinging ain't doing owt for me, funnily enough Jimmy: let's do one Janis: I'm ordering the most expensive dessert on this menu first Jimmy: it'll take ages to show up Jimmy: their customer service is for shit Janis: wanna go complain to their manager, babe Janis: let it hit the table first, I'm not eating food that's been gobbed in for you Jimmy: not one of your kinks? I'll only spit in your mouth if you really annoy me then Janis: yeah try it Janis: dickhead Jimmy: I'll be outside Jimmy: find me when you're done Janis: really Jimmy: there's no need to be #goals in here Jimmy: [leaves the table without a word like a rude hoe but we know you're gonna be back cos will be ages lol] Janis: are you trying to dash and leave me with the bill Jimmy: would that be the bill you said you're bailing on? Janis: yeah but are you bailing on me first Janis: that's such bad manners Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: I've gone outside not home Janis: just 'cos you know I can run faster than you Janis: if you need a headstart, just say Jimmy: 'cause I'm still hungry, nowt to do with you, girl Janis: then come in and order something Janis: we ain't paying, remember Janis: go big Jimmy: I can't read, remember Jimmy: too northern Jimmy: order for me Janis: you sure? Janis: no need to be goals in here and pretend I know your taste so well Jimmy: not up for this specific challenge? Jimmy: losing it, mate Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: Shut up Janis: I'll do it Jimmy: 😘 Janis: also you owe me 🚬 Jimmy: Come here then Janis: I'm patiently waiting for your food Jimmy: You've got time Jimmy: [waves at her from outside like come on] Janis: [shrugs like alright 'cos why not, feeling like a fool sat there anyway] Jimmy: [watching her come to him lowkey like 😏] Janis: ['it'll fall out' in ref to the 🚬 in his mouth] Jimmy: [lights her cos will until the day they both quit just facts] Janis: [nods like cheers] Jimmy: [keeping an eye out for the food they not gonna pay for 'cause looking at her would mean a LOOK and he's already done one earlier] Janis: ['Hope you're as hungry as you say you are'] Jimmy: [on his phone now like a rude hoe like we know he's checking on the kids but Janis don't 'Starved' cos lbr probably is thanks Ian you slack bitch] Janis: [when you're mad but you aren't gonna say you're mad lmao] Jimmy: [🚬 & texting looking like the rudest bitch ever when really you're promising Cass & Bobby cake cos they deserve that] Janis: ['Popular?' bit rude to say it like a question but you know he ain't] Jimmy: ['You said it, our posts are. I've got new boy and birthday boy shine combined, tah for that'] Janis: ['Frees you for your actual' shrugs 'who doesn't like free shit, come on'] Jimmy: [still glued to his phone 'Could be anywhere by then but if Mia and Co are still stalking, I'll keep the lie going, highkey for highkey'] Janis: [shrugs, 'they are pretty committed' and puts her 🚬 out on the wall as she goes back in] Jimmy: [follows her in after ignoring her cos I love a mixed signal] Janis: [food should still not be there for awks] Jimmy: [100%] Jimmy: [doodling cos art hoe forever, this time on the condensation on his glass with a finger] Janis: [pours salt on the table and draws noughts and crosses grid 'cos this place sucks so can be as messy as you wanna] Jimmy: [smiles when he notices cos that nerd & takes his go as ✖] Janis: [tie #1] Janis: [Janis win] Janis: [Jimmy win Janis: [Food finally arriving and my vibe was out of his comfort zone but something swag 'cos knows food] Jimmy: [gives a look like wtf & is ready to hate it obvs & be moody but tastes it & its clearly good so unlucky] Janis: [😏] Jimmy: [flicks a spoonful at her cos not tryna start a full fight cos wants to eat it but 😒] Janis: [#outraged and gets some cream from her sundae and puts it on his nose] Jimmy: [when you scrape it off and then lick your finger in a saucy manner] Janis: [When you look bemused like 'thought we weren't putting on a show?'] Jimmy: [gives her a look like 'practice makes perfect' and then gets them to recreate it for the 'gram] Janis: ['Alright, highkey for highkey' at least you get to be 'fake' into it for the 'gram] Jimmy: [when you're so into it 'for the story' hahahaha] Janis: have you done this before? Jimmy: eaten whatever the fuck this is? Not up north, Jasmine Janis: 🙄 Janis: dined and dashed, genius Jimmy: haven't you? Janis: I asked you, boy Janis: but no Janis: who wants to be that rich girl cliche Jimmy: it's a poor lad necessity Jimmy: beg, borrow or steal your pastry based 5 a day Janis: You can take the lead then and we don't have to call it a head start or nothing Jimmy: we can call it handholding you through rich girl, 'cause that's what it is Janis: Leave now if you wanna be patronizing Janis: it ain't hard Jimmy: Go freshen up and use your athletic skills to leave out the window Jimmy: won't be hard for you Janis: Say bye now then Janis: ✌ Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [run bitch run] Jimmy: [likewise do your thing boyyy] Jimmy: piss easy when you know how Janis: alright Janis: it was fun but only 'cos they deserved it Janis: where'd you end up? Jimmy: so moral you 🙏😇🙏 Jimmy: [location which is right by the next place they should hit but he's always lost lol] ?? Janis: you already knew me and the big man were tight Janis: right, go in the pub like a few buildings down Janis: be there soon Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: missing you already 💕😍😘 Janis: 😂 Janis: drown your sorrows, babe Jimmy: 🍻 sláinte Janis: Look at you Janis: practically native Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: depressive drinking is what unites us all, tbh Jimmy: 😂 Janis: [showing up, let us assume she ran in the opposite direction] Jimmy: [when yet again you have to stop yourself looking at the cute bae but at least you got the drinks in so you can shove that at her] Janis: [IRL sláinte] Jimmy: [clink them glasses kids] Janis: [a snap/story moment if ever there was] Jimmy: [just cos she wants to make him say 🍀 with his accent lol] Janis: [still loling tbh] Jimmy: [when you then notice some food in her hair from when you flicked it at her so you get it out and there's a shameless moment] Janis: ['can't take you anywhere, like'] Jimmy: ['can fake it everywhere, though'] Janis: ['wow, pop that on your tinder'] Jimmy: [gives her an IRL 👍] Janis: [literal shaking of head, hopefully you dislodge any other food lol] Jimmy: [not into your drink tho that'd be grim] Janis: ['d'ya move 'round lots then?'] Jimmy: [his turn to shake his head 'I was born in the house we lived in before my dad dragged us here'] Janis: ['what makes you so sure you'll be off again then?' a gloriously blunt bitch lmao] Jimmy: ['got to that bit of the date now, have we?' cos word thief & gives her the same look she gave him too but a bit more 😒 cos its him] Janis: ['You'd prefer we were back playing footsie, like?'] Jimmy: [lols cos lbr yeah he would] Janis: [get a round in b] Jimmy: [they should get free shots which they then 'gram/snap for the brag] Janis: ['You're keeping up alright, lad'] Jimmy: ['You said it yourself, it ain't just you Paddys that handle their drink'] Janis: ['Not coming for your pride, but you can spare the sob story, like; 'less you wanna make it an actual story'] Jimmy: ['So chatty you. Unlocked a Juliet kink without even trying there, like' taking shots like its his job] Janis: [Punches him in the arm but gentle-ish please] Jimmy: [is all like 'oi!' so offended & playful shove & messes her hair up cos can't hit her can you lad] Janis: ['knew it'd all end in tears' and fake wipes his eyes to show his, obvs] Jimmy: [when its a playfight but also a moment cos we see how flirty af this is getting guys] Janis: [gonna have to get another punter/bartender to say something so y'all stop 'cos] Jimmy: 💀💀💀 Janis: I know Janis: I KO'd you Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: You made a holy show of yourself girl, what would Jesus say? 😱😱 Janis: He likes 'em feisty Jimmy: code for down with a toe in the mouth that Janis: [lols] Janis: That's blasphemy Jimmy: let him KO me then Jimmy: you missed your chance, mate Janis: If you're asking to get hit by lightning, wait 'til I'm gone Janis: not going down with you, mate Jimmy: So fake Juliet 💔💔💔 Jimmy: am gonna cry now, like Janis: Poor boy Janis: you didn't get the memo Jimmy: You know I can't read Jimmy: 😭😭😭😭 Janis: I'll get you an audible account as a parting gift Jimmy: tah Jimmy: that really softens the blow of you going Janis: mhmm Janis: listen to all the great love stories you like Jimmy: [is literally graffiting their initials in a love heart somewhere rn excuse him] Jimmy: You're the great romantic, load up my queue so I know it's real 💕 Janis: [just 😏] Janis: sure Mia comes here all the time, like Janis: can see it now Jimmy: I get that vibe from her Janis: packet of pork scratchings and she's yours Janis: deffo Jimmy: 🤤 Janis: [ripping up a beer-mat] Janis: she don't do boyfriends, you know Janis: you should just bang her, keep the others away Jimmy: [does vomming sounds dramatically] Jimmy: she'd be into that but I don't wanna know her kinks either Janis: [shrugs but is shamelessly pleased] Jimmy: [throws some of the beer mat pieces up like confetti] Janis: Subtle Jimmy: [is 😏] Janis: Maybe you can change her, boy Janis: [making casual mosaic with some pieces] Jimmy: I owed you a 🚬 not a life changing favour Jimmy: [takes a pic of it cos art hoe] Janis: would it kill you Janis: come on Janis: wife her Jimmy: might do Janis: I'm willing to take that risk Jimmy: if I wanted to get married underage I'd have stayed with my ex Jimmy: claimed her kid Janis: [does 😬 face] Jimmy: [drinking away the mems] Janis: [awkward drinking] Janis: reckon that's worth more free drinks, I'll go see Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [does and succeeds, this place is obvs about them] Jimmy: [more drinking] Janis: did you think it was yours for a bit Jimmy: [gives her a look like oh okay are we still on this] Janis: [puts hands up like sorry and is genuinely] Jimmy: [shakes his head though cos no he didn't it was obvs that friend of her dad's #goals ] Janis: [nods but doesn't comment 'cos you know lesson learnt] Jimmy: [does another cheers glasses clink cos thanks for dropping it] Janis: 🍻 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: [just on ya phone, reading the comments] Janis: think we're splitting couples up left and right with our #goals Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: [shows her a Mia 'birthday' message in his dms with the most disgusted facial expression anyone has ever worn] Janis: 🤢 Janis: Disappointing Janis: I thought her chat would be better Jimmy: Why? Janis: 'cos she's rode bare lads Janis: gotta be some reason Jimmy: she don't do boyfriends, there's one Janis: Shoulda opened with that Jimmy: Common knowledge, there's no need Jimmy: 🍆🐍 Janis: how dare you 🐍 shame her Jimmy: [little lol] Jimmy: You wanna reply to her? Jimmy: [throws his phone to her like] Janis: [raises eyebrow like 'risky' but challenge accepted duh] Jimmy: [drinks while she works her magic on that] Janis: [when you make it obvious it's you 'cos omg phone trust lol] Jimmy: [when you put your head on her shoulder so you can read it even though you could just wait until she's done, we see you boy] Janis: [takes selfie to send too] Jimmy: [suck it Mia] Janis: [looking so couply without even trying lmao] Jimmy: [when his phone rings and they lowkey shit themselves cos love to ruin a moment but its Ian so he ain't answering it begone bitch] Janis: [when you know all about ignoring 'rents so standard] Jimmy: [ooh let's say there's a table football table like in sims so they can play] Janis: [when you forget and are just having a good time now] Jimmy: [#mood] Janis: [let the boy win] Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: 😒 Janis: fluke Jimmy: play me again and I'll beat you again, babe 🥇 Janis: [sticks tongue out 'cos mature] Jimmy: [her tongue is whatever lurid colour the shots were so 📷 cos nerd] Janis: Insult to injury Jimmy: nah look it's #art Janis: [🙄] Jimmy: [sends it to her but has done some artsy shit to it] Jimmy: 🎨🎨🎨🎨 Janis: Look less cringe than the cake social, I suppose Jimmy: so complimentary you Janis: you really got that temperament, yeah? Janis: no one's doubting you maestro Jimmy: answered your own question there, girl Janis: get you a beret too Janis: when I go Janis: sorted Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [goes to get more drinks even if he has to pay for them, you gonna be wasted lads ayyyy] Janis: [when grace is probably hitting you up for deets, everyone getting ignored lowkey] Janis: get shots whilst you're up there Jimmy: [does and they a different colour for the fun] Jimmy: 💔 we'd get booted out for body shots, the fans would've loved it Janis: can call it a hate crime Janis: 🌈 Janis: you're just being a good ally Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: with that foolproof excuse, we've got none not to do it then Janis: [a look] Jimmy: [returned obvs as he's taking off his doughnut sweatshirt which isn't thank you cos not a fashion mood] Janis: [a moment] Jimmy: [downing the rest cos you know when you take your tshirt off and do this you're gonna get thrown out and not cos you need dutch courage for this moment nope] Janis: [another pub you can't go back to lads] Jimmy: [setting his phone up cos its only for the 'gram/snap guys duh] Janis: [obvs, deffo need to go this hard] Jimmy: [like on the one hand yes cos fuck you Mia but also you really don't] Jimmy: [doing the thing when you maintain eye contact the whole time you take your top off & get in position somehow I'd fall over & die so call me offended boy] Janis: [Just trying not to look like you're looking and getting down to business] Jimmy: [at least he can pretend how shamelessly into it he is is only for the recording but bitch we know you ain't acting that well] Janis: [no taking your top off for insta or for this pub so just give him that collarbone sharpish like Jimmy: [when that's hotter though so bye] Janis: [you're welcome everyone but also buhbye] Jimmy: [when you gotta run again but this time together awwh] Janis: [such a mood, end up in a park, blatantly] Jimmy: [yaaaaaaas drunk and alone in a park is our fave] Janis: [just laying on the grass, it's April, it's fine] Jimmy: [we all know he should go home but he's right there next to her instead] Janis: [actually looking at him, what is she thinking, who knows] Jimmy: [looking back cos of course he is] Janis: [makes a face to break the tension] Jimmy: [throws some grass at her cos always throwing things at her] Janis: [grass fight like you ain't alone who's gonna stop first idiots] Jimmy: [we can have his phone stop them cos let's say a text from Cass so he wouldn't ignore it & also that looks really sketchy like imma just stop flirting immediate to look at my phone] Janis: [silently fuming and gets up to go on the swing or something] Jimmy: [stays put texting & 🚬] Janis: [when you should just leave but you ain't] Jimmy: [when you go over and put your jacket over her shoulders but bitch it ain't cold you just needed an excuse to be there] Janis: want me to snap it or what Jimmy: [when you just blink & shrug cos you weren't even thinking about or like that] Janis: [when you gesture that you wanna twos on the 🚬] Jimmy: [sitting on the swing next to hers so you can pass it back & forth & you do] Janis: [just swinging as one does] Jimmy: [oh so casual just sneaking looks at her like] Janis: ['What?'] Jimmy: ['What?'] Janis: [😑 and swinging higher like fine] Jimmy: [this boy ain't even swinging he's obvs too 😎] Janis: [jumping off and wobbling 'cos if you weren't dizzy before] Jimmy: [if you don't hold her up boy who tf are you] Janis: [swatting him away like oi] Jimmy: [stepping away soooooooo dramatically] Janis: [when you're like 'Imma go for a run' like no] Jimmy: [a look like wtf] Jimmy: ['calm it down, pisshead' tryna steer her back to the swing to sit like shh] Janis: ['why?'] Jimmy: [Raising both eyebrows at her & sitting her down like ummm 'Why can't you go running late at night after shit loads of shots?'] Janis: [looks at him like um yes] Jimmy: [shakes his head but in an amused way this time] Jimmy: 💀💀💀 Jimmy: there's your answer Janis: ['I can handle myself, boy, you go home if you're scared'] Jimmy: [when you're just standing there holding the chains of her swing so it stays still 'If I wanted to go home I'd be there'] Janis: [trying to swing 'cos can't be tamed, 'where do you wanna go then?'] Jimmy: [when you're standing even closer like if you wanna swing you're gonna have to kick me bitch but you're trying not to smile now cos she cute & stubborn 'where are you going?'] Janis: [when you jokingly aim for the crotch but obvs don't #justgirlythings 'very goals; but rude as you're holding me park hostage'] Jimmy: [extending a hand like on you go don't let me stop you babe but v amused] Janis: [gets up with purpose but just standing even closer to him like challenging like now what boy] Jimmy: [when you pick up your jacket up off the floor cos it weren't on her properly so wouldn't have necessarily stayed when she jumped off before & put it back round her shoulders but your hands stay there just lingering cos] Janis: ['do me up then' just moving his hands to the buttons/zip or whatever like you can't do it yourself/you need to] Jimmy: [casually dressing the bae nbd such a moment] Janis: [does another jump to show it's staying on now] Jimmy: [lifts her hair out cos you just wanna touch it always bye but then you calm the fuck down & do an 👌 IRL cos all set] Janis: [does it back with a lol like okay dork] Jimmy: [tells her to piss off but is smiling] Janis: ['no'] Jimmy: [when you have to go back to the swing and sit because you can't address that no and what it might mean] Janis: ['want me to push you?' and is coming over like obvs you do lol] Jimmy: ['do you wanna?' cos always a question] Janis: [just starts in response] Jimmy: [don't go too hard tho him vomming ain't a mood lol] Janis: [when you just lol like what the fuck are we doing rn and stop, going to lie down again] Jimmy: [when you say you should go but lie with her instead cos obvs] Janis: [turn on your side and look at him 'go on then'] Jimmy: [getting comfy on the ground really close to her like you never said it] Janis: [puts head on his shoulder 'cos throwback to earlier] Jimmy: [when you do a happy sigh but you don't realize you even did] Janis: ['I might just stay out, like, not that bad when it's not freezing or pissing it down' 'cos a bitch never wants to be home] Jimmy: [getting even closer to her cos same tbh 'here?' cos he ain't know places] Janis: [looks around 'cos she's really pondering like a nerd 'it's a pretty good spot, you don't wanna be in the centre of town but you don't wanna be in the middle of nowhere either so, yeah, here would work'] Jimmy: ['Alright' cos lbr anywhere's better than home] Janis: [nods like that's that then] Jimmy: [the awkward moment when you promised your siblings cake & now you ain't coming back rude bitch but he's drunk he aint thinking] Janis: ['You gonna get cold, though?' when you're unbuttoning the jacket like it's big enough to wrap around you both] Jimmy: [buttoning it back up on her like its a speed game lol cos priorities gotta look after the bae, goes without saying that you're northern we don't need to say it boy] Janis: ['Don't let anyone see how badly you want me to keep my clothes on, boy'] Jimmy: [such a genuine lol 'I want you to keep MY clothes on, girl, that's goals'] Janis: [is like valid and snuggles into the jacket/his side more] Jimmy: [when you do the thing where you rub up and down her arms like she's so cold but it's just so you can keep them there after and basically hug because you're a soft boy] Janis: [just allowing it even though you're so #confused like what are we] Jimmy: [king of the mixed message] Janis: ['Jimmy?] Jimmy: ['What?' but in a soft way not like ???!! aggressively] Janis: ['Are we mates now?'] Jimmy: ['do you wanna be mates?'] Janis: ['Come on, answer my question' and punches his arm like before but more gentle] Jimmy: [is giving her a LOOK 'answer my question'] Janis: [quiet af 'why do I have to be the one?'] Jimmy: ['Why are you asking?'] Janis: ['cos I wanna know' gives him a look like duh, that's how questions usually work but it's playful not rude] Jimmy: [Gives her a look like well there's your answer of why you should answer me] Janis: [makes ugh noise 'cos awkward egg but drunk enough to do it so now or never 'well, yeah, you're alright, you know'] Jimmy: [is 😏 smug bitch 'you're less of a dickhead when you drink an' all'] Janis: ['fuck off, dickhead' pushes away] Jimmy: ['no' cos his turn for that] Janis: ['why d'ya think I didn't wanna go first'] Jimmy: [gives her a look as if to say if you wanna be mates you're gonna need thicker skin] Janis: [🙄 like oh please] Jimmy: [returning that eye roll] Janis: ['how dare you' rolling away like okay girl lmao] Jimmy: [gets up like he's gonna go but we know he ain't even] Janis: ['I want more drink' opening her phone like what's nearby lads] Jimmy: [we know he's gonna follow her anywhere] Janis: [just looking at him from where he is] Jimmy: [when he walks back over to 'help her up' which is the most thinly veiled excuse yet boy she don't need you like that she's stronger than you] Janis: [allows it again 'cos you wanna be near him rn even though that cleared up so little lol] Jimmy: [when you haven't let go of her hand after & are just messing around with her fingers but being gentle af like stop being so blatant but also don't ever] Janis: [thumb war obvs] Jimmy: [she should so win we all know he's distracted] Janis: [get to be the 😏 one now] Jimmy: ['where to then?' cos shamelessly change the subject/distract her from the win] Janis: ['Depends, are you gonna get us kicked out again?' and a LOOK 'Maybe I could just get someone to go in and buy us a bottle'] Jimmy: ['Have you checked the view count?' cos obvs that's the only reason he'd do something we see you boy ugh. 'Maybe I could steal us one' with a look cos always up for the challenge we know] Janis: [shakes head 'walk and talk, boy then walk the talk after you've shown me' when you wanna see 'cos shamelessly a mood and a moment we all know] Jimmy: [we strutting] Janis: [when both their phones must be blowing up constant rn] Jimmy: [you know he drunk cos he's totally ignoring his] Janis: ['you really gonna stay out or what?'] Jimmy: ['are you?'] Janis: ['course, I've done worse'] Jimmy: ['Yeah? What've you done, rich girl?' when you're not even taking the piss you just wanna know and also flirt] Janis: [nudges him whilst they walk 'You don't even wanna know'] Jimmy: ['I just asked' nudges her back 'you don't want me to know'] Janis: ['Oh, now he knows how questions work' but smiles not being confrontational with it, then shakes her head 'nah, the more salacious gossip you can spread about me post fake breakup the better, make me sound mega slaggy, standard'] Jimmy: ['Oh the old northern lad is well thick gag' reaches out like he's gonna shake her hand well done but likewise isn't being a dick for once, shakes his head too because hasn't thought about this being over yet but already don't wanna thank you] Janis: [lols genuinely and shakes his hand like the nerds they are, all the lingering always] Jimmy: ['You're alright too, you know'] Janis: ['Thanks' when you say it in the best nbd way you can but you mean it] Jimmy: [adjusting your jacket on her cos TOUCH boy I can't with you stop] Janis: ['you gonna let me keep it?' 'cos if you don't joke rn like what will happen] Jimmy: ['Need a new jacket, do you?'] Janis: ['If I did, I'd steal one, or get daddy's credit card out, wouldn't I' taps his head like remember 'it's #goals ain't it'] Jimmy: ['There's your answer then, ain't it?'] Janis: ['Yeah, but we can just fake it, obviously'] Jimmy: [a v helpful shrug] Janis: ['let's try and buy it first, I don't need garda after me, or me getting in shit with your da, like'] Jimmy: ['my dad ain't bought or bothered about my clothes since I started school, reckon you'll be alright, mate'] Janis: ['I mean the drink, you donut, where am I getting fashion at this time of night? Keep up'] Jimmy: [does a little 'run' to 'keep up' cos he's a nerd throwback to the runner emoji when she said it before but looks back at her seriously cos challenge accepted and he can do it & gonna prove that asap] Janis: [is just loling at the whole charade, what are y'all doing] Jimmy: [when he's like omg you're soooo slow as an excuse to drag her along by the damn hand MORE TOUCH we see you] Janis: 'Boy, you said I couldn't run, make up your mind, like' tutting and smh dramatically] Jimmy: ['I didn't reckon on you only having the two speeds, did I, dickhead?'] Janis: ['You just don't wanna lose, which you would'] Jimmy: ['I don't wanna be vommed on which I would 'cause you would'] Janis: ['Psh, baby; I'm no amateur, alright'] Jimmy: ['you got dizzy off a swing, alright. Leave it out, pisshead'] Janis: [😒 'you are rude'] Jimmy: [does the facial expression equivalent of the sarcastic 💔] Janis: [is now being really slow to be annoying] Jimmy: [knows & fireman lifts her over his shoulder because problem solved] Janis: ['I get it, you 'DON'T' wanna be vommed on, kink unlocked. Also drop me and die.'] Jimmy: ['throw up down my back and I'm dumping you, Joanna'] Janis: ['stop talking about puke or I might'] Jimmy: [when you just walking and carrying the bae you gonna feel this tomorrow boy you're not strong] Janis: [what a sight like hey world lmao] Jimmy: [at least she's not a dress wearing bitch that'd be worse] Janis: [didn't have to go that hard for these establishments lol] Jimmy: [put her down boy ffs but we know he won't unless she actually did feel sick] Janis: [tapping his back when they get near a shop like okay act sober and mature now lol] Jimmy: [thank god we're not letting that doughnut top be a thing haha] Janis: [a lewk] Jimmy: [we all know he's stealing shit to impress the bae #facts] Janis: [just loitering outside, looking so nonchalant] Jimmy: [god bless] Janis: 🍀 Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: 🍾? Jimmy: you don't wanna put much of an order in then Jimmy: 👑🐎💰 Janis: I don't think they sell ponies in there Janis: maybe in a readymeal but I'm alright, tah Jimmy: 😂 Janis: 😏 Janis: I'm hilarious, I know Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: gonna have to stop laughing at you or you won't fit in frame to #pose with me Jimmy: brought this on yourself, bighead Janis: Are you calling me FAT?!?!! Janis: 😱😭💔 Jimmy: Am I registered blind? Janis: Don't make me say that'd explain your fashion sense Janis: trying so hard not to be funny here Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: 😘 Jimmy: I get it, you miss me Jimmy: Hang on Janis: Yeah, let's go with that Janis: not that I want the bottle or nothing Jimmy: And your plan is to fight me for it, yeah? Jimmy: alright Jimmy: playing nice is fake even for us Janis: Can't decide if kink unlocked or you're just that stupid Janis: 🤔 Jimmy: if yours is insulting lads you're deffo not that into me Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: fake dating is a fate worse than the friendzone, mate Jimmy: not how you do it baby 💕 Jimmy: [comes out cos how long do you need to be in there like, bought 🚬s so its less suss and throws the pack at her cos always throwing shit at the bae] Janis: [good thing she's sporty so she can catch lmao, taking one out immediately 'cos standard, 'where to?'] Jimmy: [takes the mystery bottle out, opens it & takes a swig, giving her a look like you tell me cos don't know where to go & always gets lost lol] Janis: [🙄 but nice so 😏 too, pondering 'we really committing to drinking in the park as well as sleeping there, like' shakes her head like what is life] Jimmy: [swaps the bottle for her 🚬 cos sharing is caring bitch, you could've just got your own but alright be gay] Janis: [walking and dranking and smoking 'cos living your best life obvs] Jimmy: [#goals] Janis: [doing that thing where you keep shoulder bumping each other as you walk Jimmy: [always gotta be touching we see you both] Janis: [back at the park, get under that slide/climbing frame moment 'cos shelter/privacy] Jimmy: [doodling another JJ heart under there like he did earlier but like nobody's seeing it you blatant nerd] Janis: [love that for you, 'they let you do foam art at CG?'] Jimmy: [shows her pics on the CG insta of the hipster bullshit they do, like if we wanna call that art] Janis: [nods like fairplay] Jimmy: [don't worry boy you can live your best art hoe life at the next place but for now he gives her the sharpie so she can write/draw something if she want] Janis: ['no pressure' 😏 but pondering 5eva with the pen in your mouth like a cute ass hoe] Jimmy: [sneaky 😍 cos she's so cute bye] Janis: [draws the hearteyes emoji then does some graf slagging of Mia and co for the lols] Jimmy: [then he draws a skeleton with daggers coming from the eyes cos dats Mia's reaction to the heart eyes] Janis: [lols and draws a herd of sad cows behind her for the squad] Jimmy: [adds like you know when its a ufo and the beam stereotypically but it's a coffee cup with coffee spilling out if you get me] Janis: [draws him in the ufo/coffee cup window like hey] Jimmy: [lols cos the little him & adds her running away with a smoothie in hand but obvs blowing him a kiss as she goes with the other cos] Jimmy: [when you're just passing the pen & bottle between you how coupley af] Janis: [tries to look unamused but fails, draws an OTT sexy Pete with his arms open waiting for her] Jimmy: [tries not to look jealous af but is 😒 cos drunk & no way to control it but draws the band mates in a van HONKING at Pete like get in loser we're famous & changes the open arms to waving bye with dem movement lines haha] Janis: [draws broken heart emoji over her chest and puts devil horns on him and an evil laugh bubble] Jimmy: [draws a little orchestra like the instruments with legs chasing her and one of them has an umbrella open cos there's a sad raincloud over her head now] Janis: [draws her hair even crazier 'cos rain and puts some headphones on 'cos can't hear you beech and does like dust clouds behind her 'cos can't catch me either] Jimmy: [draws a horse shitting money just behind her following cos always taking the piss that she has one] Janis: [draws one of the cows tryna hand him loads of money 'cos grace soz gurl] Jimmy: [puts a ✖ through Grace how rude] Janis: [puts a question mark next to the extra tall one like hmm] Jimmy: [turns it into a little 🐍] Janis: [turns one of the other cows into a skeleton cow with heart eyes like pls] Jimmy: [draws the gun thing they use to kill cows in an abattoir coming for the Mia cow] Janis: [draws a burger that looks so mad to be a burger about to be nommed by a really fat person] Jimmy: [draws a pie next to it waiting to be eaten cos #northern bants] Janis: [draws angel of the north on top but makes her look more like that northern lass stereotype] Jimmy: [draws his dad flirting with the angel but has to draw a dad name tag cos she don't know Ian yet] Janis: [draws christ the redeemer and her having a moment] Jimmy: [lols and another ✖ haha] Janis: [draws zombie jesus coming for him] Jimmy: [Twix has stolen zombie jesus' foot in his addition] Janis: [lols but can't think of anything else so puts a little crown with a poo emoji on him] Jimmy: [draws another cloud but instead of rain it's smoke cos lighting up a new 🚬 IRL] Janis: [writes whatever warning label is on the pack in the cloud] Jimmy: [draws a 🚬 crying cos the haters] Janis: draws them group hugging it and is also like pass me that tah IRL] Jimmy: [draws the 💕 cos true love & obvs does pass her the 🚬 #alsotrueloveamIright] Janis: [when you're just spinning the sharpie now, smoking, thinking] Jimmy: [when you're drinking & looking at her and trying to think about spin the bottle comparisons lol] Janis: [when you go to pass it back so you look at him too like oh hey eye contact] Jimmy: [having a shameless moment cos add to that touching her way more than you need to when you take it] Janis: [taking the bottle when you do for something to do] Jimmy: [casually asking her why she's not in his art class like the nerd he is] Janis: ['don't take the piss!' 'cos when people in your fam can art really well, you wouldn't reckon you were any good even if you're pretty solid] Jimmy: ['I weren't' cos genuinely isn't 'be a laugh if you were there, that's all'] Janis: [shrugs 'bet it already is, like, you must be one of the few lads that does it?'] Jimmy: [shrugs back cos we all know the kind of peeps that take art, not a mood for him] Janis: [let's say they're sitting opposite and taps him with her foot like come on] Jimmy: ['what?' but again not said in a mardy way] Janis: ['I dunno' 'cos truly] Jimmy: [playfully taps her back with his foot] Janis: [footsie moment] Jimmy: [a LOOK because we all know what's up] Janis: [hits hit back with a what but with feeling] Jimmy: [when you're just looking at her lips shamelessly like] Janis: [crawls forward so she's up in his face like 'WHAT'] Jimmy: [pushing her hair out of her face so you can REALLY get that good eye contact cos two fave things] Janis: [just a staring contest rn] Jimmy: [he's gotta kiss her cos there's no way that's not a thing don't smack her head off the slide or anything please] Janis: [so that's happening bye] Jimmy: [when you've wanted to do that this whole night so it's just intense af] Janis: [you're gonna have to stop this at some point girl but not yet 'cos as into it] Jimmy: [enjoy your make out session kids] Janis: [when you have to stop 'cos your phone will not stop blowing up now it's late late] Jimmy: [awks cos boy how are you gonna just go back to chilling like you're not still breathing heavily and feeling all that] Janis: [angrily telling your dad to go away lmao] Jimmy: [soz caleb but when that reminds you that you have siblings that need you, welcome to his guilty mind] Janis: [when the moment has been murdered so you get out of your love nest to pace and light a new 🚬] Jimmy: [when you have to go but you don't wanna just leave her here alone so you sit on the slide & chug so much of the booze that you lowkey feel sick] Janis: [when you give him a look like wtf but you don't say anything 'cos mewd tbh] Jimmy: [when you also don't 100% know the way home either awks] Janis: ['you can go, like'] Jimmy: [when you start walking in the wrong direction cos always lost] Janis: [shouting 'd'ya want a cab or?'] Jimmy: [waves her off like nah 'leave it out, rich girl' also loud] Janis: [when you don't wanna leave it but also what do you say 'cept 'don't die'] Jimmy: ['you ain't getting rid that easy, Juliet'] Janis: [laughs] Janis: text me when you get home safe babe xoxo Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: if you're getting murdered, probably go 999 straight away Jimmy: nah, I'll give 'em your number Jimmy: I know you don't wanna live without the love of your life 😘 Janis: or I just want the nutter caught 'fore he makes his way down here, like Janis: either or 😘 Jimmy: 🥔🍅 Janis: 😂 Janis: how did you find them in this state Jimmy: what state are you on about? 🤐 Janis: alright Janis: just weak at the knees for me then Janis: wobbling off Jimmy: Yeah 💕 Janis: funny Jimmy: Are you still there? Janis: yeah Jimmy: alright Jimmy: where the fuck am I? Janis: Oh great Janis: well where are you trying to be, first off Jimmy: where do you think? Janis: obviously but I don't know where you live, idiot Jimmy: what kind of fake girlfriend Janis: shut up and send me your location Jimmy: [does] Janis: k, do you know your address even a little or Jimmy: Am I 5? Jimmy: lived here for a month, you know Janis: alright, don't get defensive Jimmy: don't be a dickhead Janis: well send it to me then or am I meant to guess Jimmy: you're enough of a know-it-all I'm surprised you already aren't taking guesses Janis: stay lost then dickhead Jimmy: 👍 Janis: see you when you circle on yourself, like Jimmy: looking forward to it 😍😍😍 Janis: 😏 Janis: such an idiot Jimmy: such a flirt you Jimmy: trying to find my way home if you don't mind Janis: like you said, if I was flirting with you I'd call you much worse Janis: and like I said, give me your address and I can direct you so Jimmy: come with me Jimmy: not a castle or owt but a sofa's better than a park bench Janis: You're alright Janis: I'll be good here Jimmy: There ain't a puppy here Jimmy: Use your big head Janis: Is there really Janis: 'cos you just sounded like a massive creeper tbh Jimmy: [sends photographic evidence of Twix's existence and the fact she's obvs his] Jimmy: [I like to imagine he's accidentally also sent random pics of him cos drunk] Janis: 😍😍😍 Janis: well throw in some free sweets and I'm yours, obvs Jimmy: I'm well photogenic me, you should know that by now, mate Jimmy: and yeah, our kid is 6, sweets I can do Janis: Better behind the 📷 Jimmy: when bae backhands you a good one 💕 Jimmy: so complimentary Janis: overarm ain't bad either Jimmy: duh such an athlete Jimmy: you gonna run to me or what? Janis: 💪 Janis: if you ain't gonna tell me where you live I'll have to, like Janis: can't let you go missing on my watch Jimmy: not while you still need me Janis: Would be potentially awkward explaining the whole fake dating deal to another lad at this point, yeah Jimmy: and that you didn't murder me Jimmy: she caught feelings so 🎯🔪🔪 Jimmy: 👻👻👻 RIP northern lad Janis: might be into that Janis: #kinkunlocked Janis: and *he Janis: drunk texting Jimmy: Nah, I meant you little miss knifeplay Janis: shut up then Janis: and you don't have a knife, just a sharpie Jimmy: just pleased to see you, babe Janis: 🙄 God Janis: drink MUST be wearing off, you're getting annoying again Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Jimmy: next time I'll swipe you two bottles Janis: n'awh Janis: it was very impressive Janis: and there's no hiding two bottles down your trousers, like Jimmy: #savage Jimmy: I get why you 💘 Jesus, give then take away as quick, you Janis: Oh, I thought we were gonna speculate on Jesus' massive dick Jimmy: 😂 Janis: I'm sure it was Janis: your own da ain't gonna do you like that, is he Jimmy: Mine would if he could Janis: Luckily designer babies are still unethical/he ain't god then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: not that we're here to talk about yours Janis: thanks Jimmy: weren't volunteering Janis: Good Janis: 👰🏽 of christ and only interested in his Janis: don't spread that about though Jimmy: But I want everyone to know my girlfriend will only spread her legs for her imaginary friend, like Jimmy: Tweet's already been sent Janis: such a way with words Janis: don't think anyone could blame me 😒 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: if you actually roll your eyes rn you'll never get 'em back Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: have fun Janis: loser Jimmy: 💪🏆 Jimmy: done, what else you got, knobhead? Janis: wait and see Jimmy: ⏲🏃 Janis: [give her a min or two to run up on him like boo bitch] Jimmy: [you know he's gonna be shook lol when you have to act like you didn't just shit yourself] Janis: [lols and turns him 'round like first of all] Jimmy: [when you trying to be grumpy but you're shamelessly happy to see her] Janis: ['thought I'd never see you again' but 🤞 with it obvs #bants] Jimmy: [an IRL playful eye roll like see I can do it and also shhh] Janis: ['impressive'] Jimmy: [gives her a flirty look that's meant to be be a pisstake like you ain't seen nothing yet vibes but we all know is serious] Janis: [shakes head like disgusting but clearly not over that kiss/ it ain't forgotten yet like and it shows, 'focus, boy'] Jimmy: [when you had the bottle with you so you finished it and that shows because you're standing way closer to her than you need to] Janis: [more eye contact, 'do you want me to come back with you or not?'] Jimmy: [you know he's drunk cos he's gonna answer a question omg 'I want you to come back with me'] Janis: ['come on then' and gestures like where we going boy] Jimmy: [tells her where he lives cos we ain't getting very far otherwise] Janis: [maps that out and starts walking in the opposite direction he was of course, taking his hand 'cos necessitiy duh] Jimmy: [it's ONLY so he don't get lost okay nothing to see here] Janis: [obvs, don't read anything into this people] Jimmy: [just walking & hand holding] Janis: [when you've gotta swing it like he's a child so this isn't too serious] Jimmy: ['thought we'd covered I weren't 5' but again no real pisstake happening] Janis: ['what are you then?'] Jimmy: ['what do you mean?'] Janis: [shrugs, 'vague for a reason, meant to interpret, artsy boy'] Jimmy: [shrugs back 'I ain't in art class now and you ain't signed up to it'] Janis: ['alright, comfortable silence it is then'] Jimmy: [more walking and hand holding nbd] Janis: ['can't believe you drank it all though, twat'] Jimmy: ['sorry' but 😏 'you can have more when we get back' not soz about sacrificing your stash Ian 'can't knock drink & a puppy, mate'] Janis: [lols and nudges him with her shoulder 'stop being so fucking creepy!'] Jimmy: ['only way to keep you at arms length that' but a LOOK cos we all know he don't wanna and hasn't gotten over the kiss yet either] Janis: ['oh, please' rolls her eyes but is 😳 'I'm only walking you home to be a gentleman, you're the one inviting me in'] Jimmy: ['I reckon its pretty gentlemanly of me not to leave you to sleep in a park, but if you wanna go back that bad, go on'] Janis: ['It's not a big deal, like' looks at him like he's being so drama but still amused enough 'let's get you in first, yeah'] Jimmy: ['I can get myself in, not that pissed, girl' starts walking ahead like he's gonna prove himself with that, okay boy] Janis: [catches up easily, obvs, 'yeah I walked all this way for you to strop off, come on'] Jimmy: ['why did you?'] Janis: ['what do you mean?'] Jimmy: [I mean what I said, why come with me?'] Janis: ['cos you were clearly lost and I'm not that much of a dick that I'll just let you wander 'round 'til morning, like'] Jimmy: ['it's not a big deal, so you reckon'] Janis: ['Well, I weren't lost, it's different'] Jimmy: ['you weren't no safer, same bollocks really'] Janis: ['Yeah I was, I know my way around here, who to avoid, all that'] Jimmy: [lights a 🚬 cos letting that drop when you know you can't win 'do you even wanna come?' needy boy alert] Janis: ['do you want me to?' when he's already answered this and you're suddenly him like ???] Jimmy: ['do you wanna?'] Janis: ['I mean, yeah, if it's alright, why not'] Jimmy: [when you just pass her the 🚬 cos yeah its obvs alright with him] Janis: [big ole drag] Jimmy: [when you've got no reason to go back to hand holding but you just wanna so you take hers this time] Janis: [looks but doesn't comment] Jimmy: [we walking lads] Janis: [please try to be quiet when you arrive, like] Jimmy: [they so shouldn't be though cos then Bobby can wake up & cockblock them lol] Janis: [good idea, let that happen] Jimmy: [start as we mean to go on cos he's always doing it down the line] Janis: night Jimmy: I don't get a good one then? Janis: probably not Janis: not got loads of youngers but that's how that goes, yeah? Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: lullabies work better Janis: even I know that Jimmy: Pete ain't here to sing for us and I'm not looking to traumatise the kid Janis: 💔 Janis: we all wish Pete was here Jimmy: Slide into his DMs Jimmy: sure he'd pick you up, mate Janis: at this o'clock Janis: and this wasted Janis: rather hit up the park again Jimmy: Go on then Janis: rude Janis: you said i could crash here Jimmy: you can Jimmy: you're the one 💔 by your lack of better offers Jimmy: I already knew it was shit here Janis: tonight is just like any other night Janis: nothing personal Jimmy: alright, rich girl Jimmy: got it Janis: what do you get Jimmy: your bollocks little memo there Janis: I dunno what you're chatting Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: helpful Janis: night then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: what times your dad likely to get up Jimmy: what time is it now? Janis: [some late into the AM time] Jimmy: you might get 7 hours Jimmy: if you piss off to sleep now Janis: we'll call it 6 Janis: 👍 Jimmy: longer if he's got a mrs in there Jimmy: probably will do Janis: well don't reckon I'll stay around to say hello to her either, like Jimmy: I've got work in a bit, go when I leave if you want Janis: long as its you that wakes up to me here I ain't arsed Jimmy: 👌 Janis: sorted Jimmy: 😘😘😘😘 Janis: Piss off 😏 Jimmy: say the sweetest things to me, you Janis: you want sweet I'll go public, like Jimmy: on you go then Janis: [posts something cringe-inducing on his timeline] Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: [replies obvs but there's a flirty undertone that's real af] Janis: [just lowkey flirting this is why y'all get confused[ Jimmy: [stop but don't ever thank you] Janis: how did you do this for real Janis: it's so gross Jimmy: I didn't do all the #s and bollocks Jimmy: It weren't like this Janis: Fair Janis: you don't have to be this level of cringe, I guess Jimmy: you wanna scale it back? Janis: nah Janis: what we need to do Janis: playing to a dense audience Jimmy: 👍 Janis: it ain't real if you don't shove it down everyone's throats Janis: and even then Jimmy: how you paddys do it Jimmy: well #extra Janis: dunno about that Janis: maybe Jimmy: everythings !!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jimmy: even speak like it Janis: fuck off do I speak like that Janis: just 'cos it takes you 10 years to finish a sentence Jimmy: that's just me Jimmy: don't wanna talk to none of you, like Janis: yeah yeah Jimmy: nowt personal, as you said Janis: what do i care Janis: don't speak to anyone either if i can avoid it Jimmy: I noticed Janis: and what Jimmy: why I picked you for this Jimmy: one of the reasons Janis: gwan then Jimmy: ? Janis: don't pussy out Janis: what are the others Jimmy: to be unlocked Janis: ugh Janis: fuck off Jimmy: alright Jimmy: in a bit Janis: 🙄 Janis: okay Jimmy: isn't Jimmy: #obvs Janis: is Janis: you got to sleep Janis: just didn't know you were such a cocktease Jimmy: could be a kink for all you know Jimmy: which is nowt Janis: no, I'm a know-it-all remember Jimmy: that's how you reckon you are, not how it is, Jillian Janis: bollocks Jimmy: you've got my name and where I'm from 'cause my voice fits Jimmy: nowt else Janis: if you want people to leave you alone, drop the fit and mysterious bit Janis: everyone knows my business and no one fucks with me much Janis: easy Jimmy: yeah so easy you've had to get me to be your fake love interest Janis: no one knows everything they reckon they do Janis: just straightening some things out, literally Jimmy: Punny Janis: Hilarious too Janis: I remember, even if you're hazy Jimmy: vaguely threatening, who said romance was 💀💀? Janis: you will be tomorrow Janis: not a threat, literal facts at this point Jimmy: I'll live Jimmy: there's your day's disappointment ✔ Janis: sweet that you're getting a head start there Janis: but whether you live or die has no influence on me either way 😘 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: cute tho Jimmy: so everyone keeps telling me Janis: 😂 Janis: loving the confidence Jimmy: I got that from you, yeah Jimmy: love you too, girl Janis: that's a photo caption if I ever heard one Janis: remember Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: [comes to get a glass of water as if that's remotely gonna help & you aren't shameless boy] Janis: [casual hissing like 'you could've fucking warned me' 'cos died thinking it was someone else lol] Jimmy: ['You had me topless earlier, I didn't reckon you'd need one' such a dickhead and so 😏 sipping his water thinking about those bodyshots] Janis: [throws a pillow at him like this isn't someone else's house have some manners] Jimmy: [is all faux offended like oi rude but comes and puts the pillow back instead of throwing it like it's not just a shameless excuse to sit down near her] Janis: ['you got manners now?'] Jimmy: ['now?' an eyebrow raise 'I got you a bottle when you wanted one, what's better manners?'] Janis: ['STOLE but you know, guess you've got me there' 😏] Jimmy: ['Duh, got you right where I want you, that creeper, me'] Janis: ['said that was to keep me away so piss poor job, if you ask me'] Jimmy: ['I also said there'd be a puppy but do you see her? Nah, full of shit this dickhead'] Janis: [gasps dramatically but quietly lol] Jimmy: [when you're trying not to smile cos she a cute nerd but you fail cos you drunk and amused] Janis: ['did you lie about the sweets too?'] Jimmy: [gets up, gets sweets and throws them at her but more softly than usual like into her lap as he sits back down cos be quiet boy] Janis: [looks at him like okay 'one outta two ain't bad, like' and offers him some] Jimmy: [shrugs 'if you want me to wake my sister an' all, I'll get the dog' takes a lollipop cos 1. they take ages to eat and he wants to stay 2. he's a saucy bitch] Janis: ['nah, you're alright' 'when you now distracted af, 'scuse you] Jimmy: [when you're trying to give her a look like yeah I knew you didn't want Twix that bad but you're just giving her a LOOK cos blatant] Janis: [when you take the lolly like you really wanted it okay bitch] Jimmy: [when you should care but you're the one who's distracted af now] Janis: [pass it back like it's a smoke or a bottle] Jimmy: [these flirty nerds] Janis: [ze tension] Jimmy: [so much eye contact when he's not shamelessly looking at her mouth, boy please] Janis: ['what?' 'cos always] Jimmy: [repeats it back cos always] Janis: [she can initiate it this time] Jimmy: [give them some good making out time before I ruin it like a rude bitch] Janis: [then you gotta run girl run[ Jimmy: [my vibe is like he name drops cos he wants to slow things down cos SO INTO IT & fucking on his sofa rn having to be really quiet in the dark is not an ideal mood for many a reason so her name comes out cos that whole relationship was hot mess express full of mistakes not cos he's still really into that northern lass but obvs not getting the chance to explain cos it looks how it looks] Janis: [I feel it] Jimmy: [you better hope she don't remember this boy cos it seems like you were really into it and wanna get back with your ex] Janis: [mhmm but she won't obvs just remember she left for a reason so awks] Jimmy: [take that over calling her the most northern name ever that don't begin with J, no styling that out as bants] Jimmy: [when you can't even go after her or make the attempt cos what are you gonna say?] Janis: [that's that on that, like to think mcvickers live nearby so she doesn't need to stay out/go home home rn] Jimmy: [I'll allow it, stay safe thank you children]

[jurihaan-blog]

someone: how do u feel about juri having workin’ eyes tbh me, walking backwards into hell: we ignore this disgrace upon my child for it is dumb and i will not allow it

[opalai-pixel-witch]

It´s a me again! :D

 “Heya!! I’m so sorry it took me a while to get to this message, college and real life stuff has been kicking my ass ;;_;; I’m glad to hear that things are going well for you!!”

– I so sorry too! I have a lot of work and no time to answer you, I love talking with you about HH and MS but the life is heavy :,c

I was waiting they correctedmy proyect, and now I have to share them my progress :,D 👍

  “I mean…isn’t she? |D Jokes aside I agree with you, since the only talk of skating she’d done in the game was casually acknowledging the others’ obsession with it :P Still, I am super tempted to draw Pesto skating at some point >.>”

 –When you want, draw her, I’d love to see her

  “That reminds me of a weird headcannon I’ve been thinking about—I feel like with her being in charge of diseases and stuff, she has the power to remove an illness along with her ability to inflict it :o Maybe I’m just being dumb, but I thought it’d be cool…and yeah, I can totally picture that |D”

 – Maybe Pesto has that ability, although I can’t think of what she would use it for, unless she use it like a threat, like one of the paranormal investigators captures her friends and she makes him sick so he liberate them and if not liberate them, he will suffer the disease and if he liberates them, he will recover.

I wonder if she can kill, I have this doubt from MS where Death can’t kill and says “he wasn’t due” after killing Samon Guy, but War was killing gangsters, although that can be justified with the fact they were in a shootout and so it was time for them to die. And in HH we have Fam killing little Ramsey, I can only justify that with:

♦ Fam is capable of breaking the rules in order to carry out Satan’s orders;

♦ Or if you find are in another hell, horsemen can kill you even if it isn’t your time;

♦ Or the only world matters to them is humans world and if they kill beings from other worlds, it doesn’t matter, because they run the humans hell (in HH they make it clear that there are different hells for different creatures)

  “I dunno if I’d label the horsemen as dead though, I think they’re just some weird immortal entities :P”

 – About “the horsemen are already dead”I took from Death’s twitter, I have several headcanons from there. There he makes jokes like he is living the best moment of his death, for example XD

https://twitter.com/Death_4_Lyfe

;)

  “If dA is becoming deserted now, that only means their Eclipse scheme has failed =A= I wonder how long they’ve been banging their heads against the wall in regret…”

 – Sometimes that I think that all of Eclipse thing was a conspiracy from how bad it turned out, the owner of DA changed a few years ago, I wouldn’t be surprised if the new owner is the competition or he wants to sell the domain to someone else.

They took all the good things out of the page like: the search for groups by name and the counter to know in how many groups you shared the drawings, I have to multiply 2 x n to know it and obviously that gives me lazy and boring; the images are so big, if I want to find a folder that is the latest, I have to minimize the page, in fact, I use minimized DA; the only good thing they had, to look which groups are full, they took it out with an update! >:( >:( >:(

And it has several bugs: the images are repeated and if you try to save several images in a folder, less than half will be saved and that will force you to repeat the same annoying process over and over; and I hate that, when I open a list, it closes by itself because it doesn’t have the mouse over it! I mean, the only way to see a list is to scroll down with the mouse, but what if it leaves the list? “Oh, what a shame”, repeated the proses

  “I’ve also been looking at comics on Webtoons lately, my favorite one there is probably Clinic of Horrors :o”

 – In Webtoon I have read “Love advice from the great duke of hell ”, “Meow man” and “As per usual”, my favorite is the 1st one :3

  “Your new drawings are (as always) sooo cool!!!! O.O War looks super badass, and the one with Death casually approaching Sam is funny |D I also love the comic with his dad and Cobbles, the “you will have to believe me” line made me lose it >o>”

 – Thanks! ^^ Your drawings are AWESOME too! :D ♥

I still have several ideas, but 1st I need free time to make them :,)

Some drawings here ;v :

https://sta.sh/22aj2xyaqwj3?edit=1

-Your ultimate drawing: “Cannibalism” X,D 

Love our boi! ♥

“I see o: I can definitely picture her as the weapons-handler of the group! Odd thing, though—I don’t think Milky actually had any weapons in the game…unless his pockets are somehow bottomless and he keeps them in there :P I can also see the motivation for them going after Salmon Guy—after all, he has encountered one of the horsemen firsthand! The best witness for them would be Sam with all his new info, but of course because he’s the ultimate rich kid it would be super difficult for them to get to him |D”

 – It wouldn’t be strange Milky has infinite pockets like the Mask XD

I thought of Bat-dug as a supplier of weapons and special equipment cuz, at the beginning of HH, she tells Milky that she and Red eye have weapons, which makes sense, yes you’re going after War you aren’t going to use your fists or a twig XD

She has infinite pockets, obviously ;)

  “Haha yeah, Pesto would have to go to that Valhyr site constantly to translate everything >u>”

 – Pesto: Bjorn, you think you are so funny, you little…

XD

————

Aaaahhh life can be dumb and bad, I know that all too well >A> It’s great to hear from you again!

I’ll be sure to do that when I have time ^_^

Yeah, maybe something like that o: I was thinking that we don’t really know if anyone else has the power to make people sick, so if some entity out there was like that they might do that and try to interfere with her work somehow and she’d just be all “no STOP that you idiot” and undo it or something :P It’s kinda hard for me to describe, but it’s something like that? Of course her job is the exact opposite of healing others so she probably wouldn’t use it all that often >_>

Yeah, those theories sound about right :o I think that all the horsemen are capable of killing (and also resurrecting as we’ve seen with Death and Pesto), but they’re only allowed to do it when the job requires them to and they risk being penalized somehow—usually with Hell Jail—if they do that of their own accord. I feel like it was a rather desperate situation in Hell when Odin went on his rampage, and Satan didn’t have enough time or patience to instruct Famine on how he could handle it. And so, Famine being his usual cringy and edgy self, took it to extremes and get Ramsey killed…so I think we can chalk that incident up to recklessness and a lack of preparation.

Oh yeah, I’ve looked through both his and Pesto’s accounts before but I guess I forgot about those :P There do seem to be some cases of early installment weirdness, though…like, apparently back in 2017 they were addressing Pesto with he/him pronouns??? I ain’t saying I got a new headcanon…but I do…maybe?

It seems that they tried to give it a smoother or cleaner look, but not only does it look totally boring—it’s also super inconvenient to use! Yaaaaay!! -______- Along with what you’ve mentioned, they’ve made browsing stuff super difficult. Why, oh why aren’t we allowed to search through categories anymore??? This is only making the creepier artworks harder to avoid ;;A;; Plus everything feels so slow and disorganized…dA has truly died by its own hand =A=

Hmmm, I may have to check those out! I would like to get in the habit of trying new things but my comfort zone is just so…comfy >o>

THE OTP IS BACK! ^o^ Protective War is so cool—and we all know Death would do the same for her >u> And that drawing of Death and Lil Foxbro is so adorable!! And it’s also super cool to see Sam, Bjørn and Cassiel hanging out together ^_^ My poor son though ;-;

I’m glad you liked the caption |D I was thinking about making it more dramatic, all like “OH NOOOO!!!! BJØRN IS A CANNIBAL!!!!” but I decided not to do that :P Nothing but love for the little pumpkin pie ^_^

You know, that first scene with him where he’s spying did make me wonder…he had his tracker-thing in one hand and a coffee in the other, and then he somehow takes his goggles off at the end?? Maybe he does have limitless pockets… (making secret plans to steal Milky’s coat later)

That makes sense to me :o But I wonder why Milky didn’t have a weapon—even if he’s going to Helheim, a presumably peaceful afterlife, these are still the horsemen he’s dealing with…there’s definitely some infinite pocket action going on >_>

Bjørn: Don’t hurt me, I am just baby c:

[jeremystrele]

Clare Bowditch On Overcoming Self-Doubt + Being Your Own Kind Of Girl

Clare Bowditch On Overcoming Self-Doubt + Being Your Own Kind Of Girl

Family

Ashe Davenport

Clare and her husband Marty at home with her twin sons Oscar and Elijah (12) and daughter Asha (16). Flowers by Babylon Flowers. Plants by Hello Botanical. Photo – Sarah Collins of Work + Co.

Clare at home in Melbourne’s inner north. Photo – Sarah Collins of Work + Co.

Clare with her husband Marty, who she played in bands with for years before admitting they loved each other. Photo – Sarah Collins of Work + Co.

Photo – Sarah Collins of Work + Co.

Twins Oscar and Elijah. Photo – Sarah Collins of Work + Co.

Clare with her eldest child Asha. Photo – Sarah Collins of Work + Co.

Clare with Elijah and Oscar. Photo – Sarah Collins of Work + Co.

Clare recently released her poignant memoir, Your Own Kind Of Girl. Flowers by Babylon Flowers. Plants by Hello Botanical. Photo – Sarah Collins of Work + Co.

In the kitchen with the fam! Photo – Sarah Collins of Work + Co.

Clare Bowditch raised her family in an urban community in Thornbury, in a house with no back fence and a mulberry tree in the yard. She creates without fences too, whether it’s music, her memoir or her company Big Hearted Business. She doesn’t like to compartmentalise. Her feelings are a package deal. 

Clare’s new book, Your Own Kind of Girl is a special gift about overcoming self-doubt and finding your creative voice, but at the book launch she only wanted to say thanks. She presented flowers to all the people who helped her, and at one point asked an entire row of extended family to stand in the audience so they could be applauded too.

We met for lunch at North Island in North Fitzroy. She wore an orange printed dress, cinnamon coloured sunglasses and bright earrings that fluttered either side of her face. Clare Bowditch is fresh flowers personified, and orders a ‘stiff piccolo,’ because she’s no shrinking violet.

Virginia Woolf said you need a fierce attachment to an idea in order to see it through. What was yours to your book? What kept you coming back to it?

When I was 21, I promised myself I’d one day write it, which was 21 years ago now. It took that long. I needed to wait and see if my life worked out or not. Back then I couldn’t have imagined it would. I was dealing with what I now know was anxiety in turbo drive. I was in the throws of a nervous breakdown, but I found some things that helped and I was able to recover. Through art, creativity and techniques to manage my anxiety, I was able to imagine a future beyond my immediate circumstances. I promised at some stage I’d pass the baton. If I look at the past two decades of work, I think that’s what I’ve been trying to do. To keep generating that feeling. I imagined one day I’d be a grown up with kids and a dog and someone to love, where I’d make music and then write a book. It’s curious to me and quite wonderful that it’s indeed what’s happened.

Would you say you manifested it?

I took the action steps, I guess. I had a really clear dream as a kid of what I wanted to do. I forgot what it was, as we often do in life. Things get in the way, our self-doubt gets in the way, but then I learned some ways to get through it.  

What do you find works best for you in overcoming your self-doubt? I know you named your anxiety Frank, which is great.

Frank is an umbrella title for a feeling of foreboding. I came up with it during the very early recovery stage of my breakdown, when I didn’t really know how to separate my emotions. Now I know it was just anxiety that needed training. Reading Jack Kornfield helped a lot, as did a really practical little book by Dr Claire Weekes called Peace from Nervous Suffering. She was a stalwart of the Australian post-war veteran field. She helped people deal with anxiety before it really had a name. Slowly, slowly I was able to work past it, but it took until I was 27 to have the guts to put my own songs in the world. I’d been building that courage from age 21. I still have self-doubt, but these days it can motivate me. It tells me I’m onto something. My songs have always sat in me like pets. I can’t rush them. They come when they’re ready and my job is to make room for them. So I just keep showing up with my pen and paper.

Who did you write your book for?

It’s dedicated to Rowena, my sister who I lost when I was young, Doctor Clare Weekes and my dear friend John Patrick Hedigan, who was the first person I shared my songs with at 22. We started a band together and he introduced me to this cool drummer called Marty (now my husband). John fell in love with my best mate and they went on to have kids too. He passed away earlier this year, so his story is in there too.

It’s a love story and it’s dedicated to the legacies of their grand lives, but I think it’s for anyone who is still suffering from self-doubt and needs something positive to read. The first half isn’t an easy read, but it’s a true read, and I really believe if we tell the truth it helps people feel less alone. It’s a hopeful story. 

It sounds like emotionally expensive behaviour, for which we’re eternally grateful. You give so much of yourself in your music too. How do you replenish the tank?

I think it’s a self-generating engine, the giving and getting, so that’s fulfilling in itself. I’m also restored by the same things that helped me recover when I was 21, baking, gardening, walking, reading, crushing flowers in my hand and smelling them, hanging out with my kids. Simple small things, like sitting with my cup of tea and reading my Design Files!

How do you and Marty share the parenting load?

We were in a band together for four years before we finally admitted we were in love with each other, then we became parents soon after that. So the working relationship was already pretty clear, and we had a firm idea of how we wanted to parent. It was crazy, foolhardy behaviour, but it worked for us. Early on I took on the role as primary carer due to biological reasons, I was a breastfeeding mum, but both of us have always been all hands on deck. I feel very fortunate that we get along well. We have to make an effort these days, but he’s my biggest champion, really, just like I am for him. 

Your Own Kind of Girl is also the name of a pretty special song of yours about body acceptance at any size. What does it mean to you?

I wrote that one for my audience, in response to some beautiful letters I received. I often still get choked up when I play it. I wanted to encourage people to count themselves in. I had to tell a painful story of my own to do that, but I truly believe our peace and strength comes from accepting ourselves for who we are. Our relationship with our bodies is complex and glorious. It’s a big journey. I’m happy to have a song like that out there. Every time I play it, it reminds me that my instinct was right. We’re more than our size. I didn’t know it for a long time.

The world has already started telling my daughters what they should look like. I’ve got a three year old who is conscious of the size of her belly because someone at daycare told her it’s because she eats too much.

It was three for me too. That’s when I first got the message. Now you get to say to her what my mother said to me: ’You’re not too big, you’re a peach and you’re gorgeous.’

Here’s the reality, our body size is a complex interplay between genetics and the way we store our food, and the way we eat in response to things and the size of our forefathers. We haven’t really been able to have a great conversation around that. But we have frameworks like Health at Every Size and great nutritionists like Ellyn Satter, who has some really useful thinking around food. Have a read of her in the context of your daughter, because your baby girl has done nothing wrong.

I will. Thank you. Is fostering a positive body image something you do consciously in your household?

My kids have never had to have a conversation around it for themselves. Curiously it’s not an issue. I’ve always been really open with them about my history, and what the temptations were likely to be for them based on the images around us and the stories we’re told. They understand not to comment on a person’s size, just as we don’t comment on their gender, colour, sexuality and so on. They get that every human has a right to be here in this world and be who they are. You do, I do, they do. They also understand the complexity of the grief I was brought up in and how that factored in. 

Have you found writing your book to be a healing experience?

One of the good things about navigating sadness early on in life is that it gave me the sense that I was never going to be ‘fixed.’ There’s functional and non-functional, and things become non-functional when we have no way to speak the truth about our feelings. I used to think there was some place I’d get to in the future where everything would be perfect. Then I realised there wasn’t, and that’s not such a bad thing.

Carey Grant described his journey to healing as a process of pulling away barnacles and discovering more barnacles. Do you relate to that?

Yes, but there’s gold in there too. That’s why we keep searching. Our barnacles are our circumstances, and we have no say over them, none, just like we can’t choose the weather. Just like I can’t choose my body size or birth. But we have this opportunity to choose the next thought.

Your Own Kind of Girl is about the point in my life I decided to tell myself a different story. If I’d continued to tell myself that there was no hope for me, then that would have perhaps been what was lived out. But I told myself I had a chance at a more hopeful story, and I decided to believe it.

The whole family together at home. Photo – Sarah Collins of Work + Co.

FAMILY FAVOURITES

Rainy day activity

We play a Dutch game called the sjoelbak.

Sunday morning breakfast

My husband is a wonderful cook. Eggs with herbs is his go-to with buttered toast. And a bloody good cup of tea.

Date night?

One of the secrets to working with your partner and still having a love life is going on regular Wednesday night date nights. We usually just find a hole in the wall and toast to the week that’s been.

Go-to album?

Donny Hathaway Live.

Weekend getaway?

We are lucky to have good friends in the town of Castlemaine, it’s only an hour and a half from Melbourne, so it’s the perfect quick getaway. It’s also got a wonderful arts community so sometimes we catch a show at the local theatre.

Ultimate ‘me time’ experience? 

Lying in bed with a cuppa and a wonderful book with golden hour light streaming through the window.

Clare’s first book, Your Own Kind Of Girl, is available now from all good bookstores!

[dachi-chan25]

Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 3 Pt. 2

WARNINGS: SPOILERS (obvs); not a Khaliiiisi fan; Jonsa shipper so I might talk about it.

————–

4.- Euron Sparrow (I feel like I should add Captain somewhere) makes his heroic entrance in KL, and I find this kinda intresting, Hot Pie told Arya it was Cersei the one who blew the Great Sept of Baelor like it was common knowledge, but like how do people in Westeros know this stuff? news travel by ravens, and merchants and soldiers perharps but common people don’t know the High Lords and Ladies motivations and information has a way to get twisted (the best example I can think of is Season 5’ s troupe from Braavos, they told the story of Joffrey’s ascention and his death in a very pro-Lannister light) so I’m really interested in knowing just what did Cersei said about the whole affair. I mean people’s reaction to Ellaria and co. is pure entreteinment for them, they have no real beef with them but still interested in all this stuff.

We have Cersei herself sitting on the fugliest chair of the 7 realms (aka the IT) while Euron gallops into the throne room (like Euron can you be a lil’ less extra??) and presents her with her gift while shading the fuck outta Jaime, anyway Euron wants to put a date to their wedding but Cersei is having none of that until the war is over.

Euron still is looking for a fight with Jaime, and says he hopes the can have a bro talk about just how kinky is Cersei in bed (LMAO Euron is awful but he makes me laugh a lot).

Now we have Cersei in the dungeons with a very bright pink lipstick on (where do you even get that stuff???) and talks about Oberyn vs. The Mountain, she is just taunting Ellaria and has a very emotional moment while talking about Myrcella (Lena Headley is a hell of an actress, as much as I hate Cersei I don’t want her to die if only to keep enjoying her brilliant performance)

Then she kisses Tyene and reveals Qyburn managed to find out the poison Ellaria used with her daughter and her revenge would be forcing her to see Tyene die, and then wipes away the poison-pink lipstick and drinks the antidote like a total badass (RIP bad pussy).

So getting revenge turns her on and she goes to kiss Jaime and gives him head (like wow there has been a lot of oral this season), they end up on bed, and one of Cersei’s maids knocks, Jaime is like oh no, nobody must know!! And she’s like I’m queen so I can do whatever the fuck I want (no, that’s not how it works, that’s what got your monster of a son killed dumbass) anyway it seems short hair is lit now (cool cuz I got short hair too) and doesn’t say anything about literal incest in front of her (very wise dear).

Now apparently Cersei has a visitor from the Iron Bank (remember they are hella broke thanks to Robert?) and she has to deal with it, to be fair Cersei is a hell of a negociator, she manages to convince the emmisary to give her 15 days to pay her debts and trash talks D once again (the fuck bitch me too).

(round here I get confused about the order of the scenes but I’ll try)

5.- So Theon is found by a surviving ship and the Captain treats him like dirt for not fighting for Yara, and pls leave my son alone.

I have nothing much to add really was a pretty short scene and I hope to see more of Theon next episode.

6.- Back in Dragon Stone we have Jon talking with Tyrion, he says he was wrong to have come and wants to go back home (OMG my poor baby) cuz it’s clear D has no intention to help him, Tyrion tells him to cut her some slack (I mean I kinda agree it’s not easy to believe and fight with a dude you just met but then again she was very rude and antagonistic) and goes around telling him about all the good stuff D has done (k I get his point, but were you there to see the conquest of Meeren and Astapor Tyrion?? No, you got there when shit hit the fan due to Danisss incompetence as a ruler, so I fail to see how someone as clever and analytical would make such blind statements unless that someone is in love) Jon agrees reluctantly.

7.- Winterfell!!! At last!!! So we see Sansa talking with Lord Royce, LF and the Maester about the resources they have for Winter, and she is Walking around the castle looking over the preparations and making questions and very good suggestions every now and then.

Seeing this scene struck me this is the first time we see someone actually ruling, allow me to explain: the first 2 shots we get of D and Cersei are of them sitting on their thrones but doing nothing but serve themselves (D with trying to force Jon to bend the knee and Cersei with her revenge) now of course they’re preparing for war against each other, who gives a fuck about food or warm clothes in winter amirite Ladies? Well, A GOOD RULER that’s who, Sansa is still Lady Sansa she does not parade titles around nor she sits her ass on the court room and calls it a day or calls herself Queen, yet she is the only one who acts like one. If she doesn’t know something she immediatly asks, she seeks solutions and acts quickly, that suggestion about adding leather to the armors was a little detail but so huge because she doesn’t only care about the armor being strong but also that it keeps her people as warm and comfortable as possible, and Imma cry because it’s such a huge difference from other selfish rulers we’ve seen in the series.

Anyway, LF starts by saying ruling suites her well (dammit the first time he and I agree with something) but says she is too focused on the WW thing, she answers that they should (thank god at least someone believes in Jon) he warns about Cersei and honestly is hillarious because she knows bih!!! And she tells him as much, honestly Sansa is getting more savage in her responses to Baeless what a time to be alive!!!! Littlecreeper then proceeds to talk like a fortune-cookie, I tried to make sense of it, but still confused he tells her not to fight battles anywhere but her mind ( k I think he means being analytical and politicaly savvy, not rushing into conflicts everywhere) also that her friends are enemies and enemies are friends (bottomline I think it’s trust no one cuz alliances shift a lot in time of war, or at least that’s what I think it means) and that she will she things she has seen before (ummm so like people are predictable and she only has to observe and she’ll realize she knows what kind of people they are and thus predict/guess what they’ll do because she has already dealt with that, or is he talking about parallels or what??? Idk why is he so cryptic now???) it mattered not cuz Sansa gets called to the gate, and…

Bran!!! He is back!! And Oh my god Sophie Turner’s performance is A+ her expressions are beautiful and really made me cry, Bran is very changed tho, and I see he is getting a lot of hate but why? He is clearly dealing with a lot of difficult stuff, he IS the Three Eyed Raven now, seeing past/present/future must be hard on his psyche and the threat of the WW is overwhealming so stop pls.

They are under the weirdwood tree, Sansa looks adorable sitting in the snow and hugging her knees to her chest, and she just about kills me when she says “I wish Jon was here’ now of course I know she says so because she wishes Jon could share the hapiness and relief of having their little brother back but still (my shipper heart) and immediatly says WF is his (honestly Imma say this now, fuck the people who called her a power hungry bitch, you don’t like her or find her boring? Fine we all are allowed to have characters we like and dislike, but the blantant misogynistic hate Sansa’s been getting since day one has been overwhelming, fans of her get called delusional and anti-feminists for supporting an embodiment of the patriarchy and other willful misinterpretations of her character and I’m glad D&D have shown she is not what the fandom’s been acussing her of) putting the final nail on the Starkbowl coffin. Bran reject his title as Lord because he is the TER, and Sansa, the girl whose only contact with magic/supernatural stuff has been through what Jon told her, immediatly belives what her little brother says and not only that she asks him to explain what does it means because she wants to understand him (and OMG what a concept actually listening to people!!!) now I understand why every actor on the Stark fam wanted Sansa on the IT or Winterfell, she is an amazing ruler.

Bran triggers her ptsd talking about what Ramsey did to her, and she very graciously excuses herself, while Bran stays back to get some work on the NK business. I think this was a way to make her stop asking questions and kind of showing what his powers are about? But I’m not sure.

——-

Again too long, so a part 3 is necessary for the final parts of the ep.

[swearronchanel]

Tired of these yet? A Christmas journey in March with 4.09

I’ve actually been productive today *claps* I’m the worst™ and a procrastinator to the core, so it was about damn time I got shit done. Plus+ I ran out of clean jeans so that was some motivation to do laundry & once I started moving I just kept going haha. But today I watched the Debbie Reynolds and Carrie Fisher’s memorial & omg it was so emotional ugh. Now that I’m so sad I guess I’m going to watch Call the Midwife. Care to join me?

I closed my eyes and pointed to the episode list, looks like we’re watching 4.09 aka the 2015 Christmas special

I don’t have to pretend very hard that it’s Christmas because it was like 17 degrees f the other day lol

Am I the only one who hums along in their head to the theme song? ok nvm

Aw a baby

Tom is actually in church lol, we rarely see him there

Sister MJ lol, what is she looking for?!

Sister Winifred actually cooks/bakes pretty often

SISTER EVANGELINA 😭💔 I still miss her

Sister Winifred aka queen of cringey facial expressions, I love it

Ah no! the death joke is no longer funny sister E 😭😭 rip💔

My bby Trixie on the scene😍

What is quality street? I looked it up before but forgot. Candy right?

whoops is my American showing

I hope Sister MC comes back soon☹️

“Behold, I have located the Brandy” three cheers for alcohol 🍻 I wouldn’t choose brandy though what am I a rich old business man at a country club?

Lol Sister MJ & Sister W giggling so pure !

“You give us enough gip when you’re stone cold sober“😂 same

Gremlin kids in the front haha

Oh no😂 Babs gave them all candy and now has to make them spit it out😂

Aw I love Christmas

But looking at this snow is triggering even if it’s fake😭😂

WE’VE HAD SO MUCH THIS MONTH HERE & IT’S MARCH❄️

yikes these kids are awful, who let them up there! 😭😂

SHELAGH’S FACE 😂 SHE IS DISGUSTED OMG HAHAA

Patrick laughing so hard like same 😭😂

Welp he’s lucky, Saved by the bell thanks to Trixie

Doesn’t Sister MJ explode whatever’s in the pot?

Ahh Shelagh looks so good™!😍 I love when they dress her up!

In other news, Laura tweeted me, which means she knows I exists. What a time to be alive™😭✨👏🏼you know I was shook

Angela so precious aww, I hope my future baby is that pretty

Now I just think of The Crown when I see Mrs Willens *she’s in it if you haven’t watched*

Oh no Sister MJ!!! 😭😭 why are they always giving her illnesses! Dejala sola!

She was legit ill in the first Christmas special 😭

Love Trixie’s ponytail, why Patsy’s hair a mess tho? LOL I SHOULDN’T BE TALKING

I’m a walking ball of frizz. And when I don’t wash my hair for a few days it actually dread locks 😂 gotta love curls

Aw Delia’s not here- I forgot she cracked her head open and went back to Wales

Protect Sister MJ at every cost

Violet literally sewing Fred’s ass into the Santa pants 😂😂😂 fun fact they  did that to Olivia Newton John in Grease

not sure if I knew that because I have a junk brain of useless information or because I’m trash that reads buzzfeed

Violet’s been wearing blue eyeshadow for 3 series

“I’m not biting this, it’s too close to your backside” lol okay vi give it time. You’ll be cringeyly very handsy with each other in a bit anyway 😂

She’d do it now with no hesitation I bet

I’m here for their relationship tho😂

SISTER MJ HAD PNEUMONIA IN SERIES 1 DID SHE NOT?

Ugh distaval, fuck that. Just wait and see what chaos it brings

Aw Pats looking at the photo of Delia💔 oo wait that was a parallel then in the Cuban missile Crisis episode this series

PHYLLIS !! I missed her presence lol

Tom’s opening letter from bbc it’s lit

also: he looks good™

Poor Sister MJ! What are they feeding you, liver ew

Ah I forgot, this is when they get the tv😭

Poor Babs can’t go home for Christmas

You’ll have the nonnatus fam❤️❤️

“All should head home” *breaks out into song* THERE’S NOOO PLACE LIKE HOMEEE, FOR THE HOLIDAYSSS

Which is true because NYC is pretty beautiful at Christmas time, I can’t deny that

But also is when 100000x more people are visiting 🙃and stop in front of you when you’re walking to take pictures 🙃 *clenches fists* moving on..

Lol Tom you need to be more clear on this, they’re not getting it

Sister J shut him down 😂

“Mrs Mop” lmfao this BBC guy is a jerk😂

Laura’s another queen of facial expressions

“Aesthetics are vital” I feel

Aw Shelagh so cute being defensive of the kids of poplar

Lets be real though Shelagh’s always adorable bc Laura is an actual angel

pink wafers aye

i still have been craving them lol, there’s no bodega’s around my university though☹️

Angela is giggling, was this the last time we heard her make a noise lol

Wait this is when Sister MJ runs away

yikes measles

when did the vaccine become a thing then? that mmr shot ugh

Glad I got it because there’s supposedly someone with mumps on my campus like wtf

Why was Sister E so harsh yelling at Sister Mj!? That was unnecessary !!

LET 👏🏼SISTER 👏🏼MJ 👏🏼DECORATE👏🏼FOR👏🏼CHRISTMAS 👏🏼AND👏🏼WATCH 👏🏼TELEVISON !!

I’m so protective of her, stop😢😢

She doesn’t deserve that 💔

Sometimes I forget Patsy’s name is Patience

Fred’s Santa beard is gross ew😂😂

yikes an enema

I’d rather die

Oh no, there she goes *sings* there she goessss todayyy

Yes Babs lollipops are fascinating

She just slipped that baby out

I want to go to London at Christmas time

I love lights ✨✨

Delia! What up Bitch where you been!

BUT WAIT I HAVE A COAT THAT LOOKS REALLY SIMILAR TO MRS BUBSY’S LOL

It’s vintage too, i love it, makes me feel fabulous af

until I remember it’s probably a dead woman’s coat

WATCHING THEM LET THE BABY JUST HANG MAKES ME SO ANXIOUS OMG

“You clever girl!”

Aw poor iris 😭💔

Violet is actually so sweet & we don’t see much of her w/o Fred like why 

Everyone on this show is so sweet and pure !!! I just love it too much!

remember when I was normal and didn’t care so much about television? Yea me neither 😅

Sister MJ is gone

ALL SHE WANTED WAS TO PUT UP THE TREE!!

that necklace and sapphire ring were so pretty though 😭 wish my mom had a sapphire ring for me to inherit 

Shelagh is too pretty for this grey suit, where’s the navy one?!

I will never be comfortable with cookies being called biscuits tbh

“No dogs!” “If it can’t sing silent night I’m not interested”  SHELAGH IS GOLDEN

SHE HAS SOME GREAT LINES BUT GIVE HER MORE !!

Oh Hay Peter

if you think about it Miranda Hart put this poor guy out of a job. Like he used to have more screen time lol but he can’t be around much with out her

“Very like a family in fact” 😭 I love when they call themselves family cause they are !!

Wait rehearsing before school? Ugh that must have been so early 😂

I couldn’t have been in that choir. In high school I woke up at 6:45am everyday & started at 8:05am & only lived 2 blocks away but I still got there at 9:15am 🙃

plus I’m an awful singer 😂

“She probably thought her habit would keep her safe”

Sister Mary Cynthia says that about her self the next series when she’s attacked 😢

Babs was right though! She was just excited bendito 😭😭

How much is a bob?? £??

I barely can keep up with how many $ is a £ tbh

Lolol had to check when I donated to Laura’s fundraising 😂😂

Delia has been with this big ass bun for 3 series as well

The cafe they’re in is aesthetically pleasing

so Delia’s mom is hella protective but didn’t notice she left to another town lol??

well I guess they’re even now since patsy left & then lost contact for a bit

LET ME TELL YOU, THE FIRST TIME I WATCHED THIS EPISODE I WAS SCREAMINGGG

I THOUGHT THEY HAD KILLED SISTER MJ AND WAS FREAKING TF OUT ™

I’m trying to think of what Phyllis’s hat reminds me of

I wanna say Mary Poppins 

IT’S NOT SISTER MJ👏🏼

I knew it wasn’t but still!!!

Is Shelagh wearing lipstick? i’m here for it!

but I don’t like her dress

@ wardrobe/costume ppl be nicer to my bby pls

“Well, there’s just a word that no-one likes singing. It’s in that line and it begins with a "b”’ 😂 lmaooo c'mon Tim 😂😂

He was talking about breast feeding like how many episodes ago why is he embarrassed now? 😂

Patrick laughing 😭 me as a parent tbh

Poor sickly Sister MJ 💔

My bbys Trixie and Shelagh are ¡interacting!! 💕😍

How do I get my hair to look like Trixie’s/Helen’s

SORRY CANCELED

Lol jk all will be well bby

SISTER MJ REALLY OUT HERE IN THE WOODS, LIKE HOW ??

Ah Shelagh’s dressed up again! Love it 😍 and she’s wearing earrings & matching pearls!! so pretty!! 💕💕

this has been an episode of gushing over Laura sorry not sorry

Look at her hat, she can wear anything

LMAO HE WASN’T EVEN PETER PAN GET OUT OF HERE MAN

You have to be impressed that this 80 yr old woman with dementia found her childhood home

for real though I want Shelagh’s coat

mrs willens + shelagh was kinda a friendship & was cute

“Well I stopped holding out against that happiness, didn’t I?"💔💖

people on this show are always holding hands platonically & romantically like how sweet and pure !?

"Almost all the world was before your time child … you are concerned to see it last a little longer”

Hell yea lets get it, round up the nuns and nurses lets SING !!

“But it sometimes seems to me the older I get, the more I have to learn” 😭

“We get so much out of love, we find strength in it and courage. Love is our foundation and our fuel”

DAMN IT WHY IS THE WRITING SO GREAT??!

HEIDI CAN WRITE MY EUOLGY SINCE SHE’LL BE THE CAUSE OF MY ACTUAL DEATH WHEN THIS SHOW IS  OVER ONE DAY *WHICH IS HOPEFULLY NEVER, ..I MEAN DAYS OF OUR LIVES IS ON SEASON 50 SO IT’S NOT IMPOSSIBLE🙃🙃*

shelagh and sister j❤️❤️ so pure. I love their relationship + moments together

BUT I STILL *NEED* TRIXIE & SHELAGH TO HAVE A REAL FRIENDSHIP + ACTUAL SCENES TOGETHER

no sister, it’s not your fault that she ran away😢

broadcast about to be lit

Why did we never see Trixie giving Barbara a makeup lesson😭😂

Trixie getting excited about putting makeup on Babs like same 😂I like helping people with makeup *even though I’m not even that good haha*

“Oh some lipstick might be nice, with a touch of gay geranium you’d look quite like Jean Simmons” SISTER W SNEAKS OUT TO THE MOVIE THEATRE ON HER DAYS OFF AND NO ONE WILL CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE OK

PHYLLIS GARGLING OMG

WHY IS IT SO FUNNY 😂

yea sister E I’m sorry you were kinda bitchy

I’m sorry to call a fictitious nun a bitch oops lol

SHE’S GOING TO REDEEM HERSELF AND FIND SISTER MJ THOUGH SO IT’S OKAY!! 😭👏🏼👏🏼

Tom is so handsome! i think the collar distracts you from noticing though haha

What does wet behind the ears mean and why does it sound cringey?

on the next episode of I didn’t know I was pregnant: Christmas miracles in Poplar

No but for real it seriously was a show on TLC😂 I had a phase where I watched like every show on that channel

“Antonia! Nanny found a bible in your room again” so?? like you wish she would’ve found drugs or something?

Ugh I don’t think Sister MJ will live 3 more series & I WILL BE A WRECK™ WHEN SHE DIES

Surprise! you’re pregnant & will give birth in the next 12 mins before this show ends

imagine omg never mind not feeling safe Iris I’d be freaking tf out

I told you sister Julienne just shows up and speaks and you just feel calm

“Love is not going to be halved, but doubled” I swear someone says this again in another episode but I can’t remember

maybe I’m lying idk

The Fred + Sister E dynamic was golden

what is Sister Evangelina holding?

it looks like a bong tbh

Sister MJ saying pawning her mother’s jewels was an “interesting experience"😂 dios te bengida, she needs to always be protected  

aw pats & deels reunited *and it feeelsss so gooddd*

Fred saying rigging this raffle is immoral like HE WASNT THE BIGGEST SCAMMER IN POPLAR

I was here for it though lol😂

Phyllis gargling 😂😂

Wait omg she has earrings on how precious!

I always notice when girls/women don’t have their ears pierced because I didn’t realize for the longest time that it’s mainly just hispanics that get their ears pierced when they’re babies😂 I’ve had mine since I was six weeks old👶🏼

"Beatrix Franklin, midwife of mystery” aka my bby and ray of sunshine✨😭

it’s all good though, Trixie has Christopher, Tom has Babs, now where’s my handsome Englishman??

cue Vanessa Redgrave

“Sometimes the route to joy is indirect, our journey home not quite as we expected. There is no magic star to guide our steps, no ancient prophecies to predict our way. The greatest gift is to know that we travel not alone, but in the company of others. That there are hands as can reach for and hearts to keep us warm..”

Laura’s angelic voice blessing™ me on this Saturday night

I need it after being degenerate every other day of the week

*sings loudly* CHRISTTTTTTTT THEEEE SAVIORRRR IS BORNNNNNN

AHH I WANT CHRISTMAS NOW ! + THE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL 

patsy lowkey snuggled up on Phyllis I love it

Trixie is serving looks in the corner 😍!

I still want those hoop earrings she has!

And they finally got a tv😭👏🏼

“And the family gathered round, watching their faces flicker black and white. Their very presence in the room an act of love, a welcome home”

*BANGS FISTS ON AN IMAGINARY TABLE* THIS SHOW IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND PURE AND IF YOU DISAGREE WE CAN FIGHT

I love it

Now I must go. until next time..

[friskynotebook]

'Cause All That You Are is All That I'll Ever Need: A Carrison Fanfic

So. I was planning on doing a mini-writing spree inspired by Carrie Fisher’s The Princess Diarist (and I’ll still be writing all of them, don’t worry), but life got in the way, and it ended up taking me almost two months to write this.

I was actually planning on finishing this before Christmas, but with Carrie’s and Debbie’s deaths, my motivation just wasn’t there. But I’m not letting the plausible verse die, and don’t worry—Carrie and Debbie don’t die in this universe. They aren’t going anywhere anytime soon.

The prompts for this fic were, “Happy 40th anniversary, sweetheart” and “He gives her the gold band with diamonds.”

It’s set in my plausible verse (duh), where Harrison and Carrie slowly fall in love after his divorce from Melissa. This takes place in May 2016, right after Carrie comes back from Cannes. There’s not much you need to know, but if it helps, they married in spring 2011 (exact date TBD). Also in this verse, the child Carrie miscarried in the 1980s was Harrison’s, and there is a passing mention of it in this fic.

The title for this fic comes from the Ed Sheeran song “Tenerife Sea,” off his album “x.” You can listen to it here.

Special thanks to @hewouldve for her excellent beta skills and @thecarrisonfiles and @titasjournal for their support. Shoutout to the Slack fam for the general handholding.

This is RPF, and I don’t mean to offend anyone with this story.

Finally, I own nothing. Nothing. You don’t want to see what number shows up in my bank account. If anyone wants money from me, I’ll help you look for it because ya girl needs to buy groceries.

Without further ado, on with the show!

Harrison climbed up the stairs, carrying a tray of saltines, ginger ale, and ginger tea. He sighed as he reached the top step. This is not how I thought we would spend our anniversary.

He was exhausted, but whatever he felt was nothing compared to what his wife must be feeling—she’d been awake for half the night throwing up whatever was in her stomach and then some. Every hour like clockwork, Carrie would rush to the bathroom and violently cough into the cool porcelain toilet—even if nothing came out, she dry-heaved until her body simply exhausted itself.

And every time she had to go, Harrison (and Gary) would run right after her, kneeling down on the cold tiles beside her, holding back her hair, rubbing her back in soothing strokes. When she’d stop, he’d carry her to the sink, sit her on the counter, and press a cold cloth to her forehead while he brushed her teeth. Then he’d carry her back to bed and hold her, Gary pressed between them, as she fell into a fitful, moan-filled sleep until the whole cycle started again.

Now, finally, she seemed to be on the mend. Earlier that morning, she’d thrown up for the last time—vile, bitter-tasting medicine—and quickly fell back asleep when he carried her back to their bed. She woke up a few hours later, woozy and lightheaded, and Harrison figured she was ready to try eating and drinking.

Harrison turned his body and gently nudged the door open, walking into their bedroom and placing the tray on Carrie’s nightstand.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he murmured, kneeling down beside the bed. “You ready to eat something?”

She turned her bleary-eyed gaze towards him, smiling softly. “Okay,” she replied.

He helped her into a sitting position and placed the tray on her lap. Before he moved to his side of the bed, he kissed her forehead. Her fever seems to be breaking.

Carrie nibbled on a cracker. “Thank you, baby,” she mumbled, absently petting Gary as he lay beside her.

“Of course, honey.” He crawled into the bed. “Have a little ginger ale,” he coaxed.

She finished her cracker and took a sip of ginger ale.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

She swallowed. “A little better. Tired. My head hurts.”

He ran his hand along her thigh. “If you can keep the crackers down, I’ll get you some aspirin,” he promised.

She gave him a small smile and reached for another cracker. “Okay,” she agreed.

Harrison watched her as she ate, ready to help her to the bathroom if her stomach protested the crackers.

Carrie caught his glance. “I’m fine, sweetheart. My stomach’s settling,” she reassured him.

He blushed, turning his gaze away. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be. I like it when you take care of me,” she confided, nibbling on the cracker.

“Good, because I don’t know what I’d do if you didn’t let me look after you,” he replied, a wry grin crossing his face.

She returned his smile. “You’d probably go crazy,” she chuckled lightly, finishing the cracker and reaching for a third.

He pressed his lips to her temple, gently stroking her skin while she chewed on the cracker.

“I’m sorry about this,” she murmured, swallowing her food.

“Sorry about what?” he questioned.

“Being sick, ruining our anniversary.” Carrie took a sip of ginger ale, not looking at her husband.

Harrison brought a long finger to her chin and turned her head to face him. “Sweetheart, you’re not ruining anything.”

“Neither one of us has slept and you’re exhausting yourself looking after me,” she rambled, her eyes wide.

“Baby, I like taking care of you,” he said softly, a small smile on his face. “If you weren’t sick, this would be the best anniversary we’ve ever had: me at your beck and call, you resting in bed all day.”

Her lips quirked upwards. “Still, I wish we could have done what we planned—walking around Larchmont Village and dinner at some hole in the wall Italian place . . .”

“We can do all that when you’re better,” he replied. “They’ll still be there when you don’t feel so awful.”

Carrie leaned forward and kissed his nose. “I love you.”

Harrison pressed his lips to her mouth. “I love you more,” he rumbled, pulling away. “I should get that aspirin for you.”

She squeezed his hand as he crawled out of bed. “Thank you.”

“Of course,” he smiled, escaping to their bathroom. He went to the medicine cabinet and quickly located the right bottle, frowning when he heard rustling from their bedroom.

“Carrie, are you alright?” he asked, stepping back into the room to find his wife bending over her side of the bed.

She turned back around, hiding a box behind her back. “Yeah, I am, honey—just getting your present out.”

He crawled back into bed with the pills. “Sweetheart, we don’t have to do that today.”

Gary’s butt pressed against Harrison’s arm as he sniffed the box behind Carrie’s back. “I want to,” she insisted. “Let’s salvage the day somehow.”

“But I won’t have anything to give you when we do celebrate,” he returned.

“Then buy me something else,” she teased, her eyes sparkling.

He grinned, kissing her forehead. “You’re not letting this go, are you?”

She smirked, pulling Gary away from the box and settling him in her lap. “Nope.”

Harrison snorted. “If you insist.” He went to his underwear drawer and pulled out a small box, hiding it in his pajama bottoms pocket.

“Open mine first!” she insisted as he crawled back into bed.

He turned to her with a small smile. “Hand it over, Fisher,” he rumbled.

Carrie gave him a long, slim jewelry box with a red ribbon wrapped around it. “Happy anniversary, baby.”

He untied the ribbon and gasped as he lifted the lid. Two sterling silver dog tags caught the light, showing off the engraved messages. The first tag had “Carrie & Harrison 1976” written in cursive writing, but it was the second tag that brought tears to his eyes. He ran a long finger over the engraving—the first initials of their children in the order they were born, with “unborn child” written below.

“Carrie,” he choked out, his eyes shining brightly. “Carrie.”

“You like them?” she asked softly.

He shifted himself to face her, then carefully pulled her into his arms, kissing her softly. “Sweetheart, I couldn’t love them more if I tried.”

She smiled against his mouth. “I wasn’t sure what you’d think about the . . . kids one.”

His lips brushed her temple. “It’s perfect,” he whispered, tears slipping down his cheeks. “I’ll have them with me, always.”

Carrie pulled back, gingerly wiping his cheeks. “Good,” she breathed, unable to say more.

“Thank you so much,” he sniffled.

She moved forward to kiss the corner of his mouth. “You’re welcome.” She cleared her throat. “My turn?”

Harrison moved back to his side of the bed and slipped on the dog tags, taking a moment to run his thumb over the engravings. He reached into his pocket, pulling the box out and handing it to her.

Carrie sat up and grinned, practically bouncing in the bed as she opened the box. Gary climbed closer to her, sniffing what she had in her hand.

“Harrison,” she breathed. Inside the box was a rose gold band with diamonds encrusted in the Greek key design. She ran her finger lightly over the design, almost as if she was afraid to damage it. “Honey, this is gorgeous.”

“Take it out,” he encouraged, stroking her thigh.

She turned to him and raised an eyebrow, removing the ring from the box. Inspecting it in the light, she saw the engraving, her breath catching in her throat.

“What does it say?” he rumbled, nervous for her reaction.

“Carrison,” she choked, tears springing to her eyes. “You engraved it with Carrison.”

“It’s the right one, right?” he asked. “I wrote it down when you showed me the final draft of your book, but I wasn’t sure—”

She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his, cutting him off. “It’s perfect,” she whispered, repeating his words from earlier. “I’ll wear it every day.”

“You don’t have to . . .”

“I want to,” she insisted, placing it on her right hand ring finger.

He cupped her cheek and kissed her again. “I love you so much.”

“I’ll always love you more,” she teased, smiling. “And I’m always right.”

He barked out a laugh. “Yes, you are.”

She pulled them both back against the bed, pushing aside the boxes as they rested in each other’s arms, her head against his chest. “Thank you, baby.”

“You’re welcome,” he rumbled as Gary flopped on his legs.

“Not just for the ring,” Carrie clarified. “For the past forty years.”

He squirmed a little. “I’m sure they weren’t all that great for you. I could have treated you better.”

“Stop that,” she gently insisted. “You always did the best you could—and you never intentionally hurt me or anyone else.”

Harrison knew they’d been over this countless times before, but it weighed on him with their anniversary. “I wish you never had to hurt at all.”

“Shut up,” she growled playfully. “I don’t regret any of it. I wouldn’t trade these forty years for the world.”

He smiled softly, reassured for the time being.

“Well,” she hedged, “if you really want to make things up to me . . .”

Harrison raised an eyebrow. “Hmm?”

“We could watch some of the Real Housewives,” she grinned.

He chuckled and reached for the remote. “Sure, sweetheart.”

She turned on the TV. “Smart man.”

He snorted. “If Mama’s not happy, nobody’s happy.”

[defunctblogtobedeleted]

6/11/17, 1:41am - post vacation

It’s been two weeks since I last wrote. Goddamn it feels like months.

The day after saturday.... So Sunday my family shows up at my place, mom immediately starts going through my shit until I start yelling and smacking her on the back of the head. Definitely not a good note to start off on.

The trip was pretty fucking great. Idk if they’re highlights but I just wanna ramble off a bunch of memories. Ate at Cracker Barrel on the way down because Trusten always felt left out when me and Tessa would go eat there with my dad. Little did he know that was my least favorite place he would take us, but it was a nice dinner nonetheless lmao.  The subject of my vasectomy became a huge topic all trip, partially because I had to bring up trying to keep my shit from getting infected whenever we would go swimming. Immediately jumped into the beach though it was fantastic. The water was beautifully clear and so warm, like taking a bath. Got to know my cousins a lot better. Christina is great, but also made me happy I’m not about to have a kid at my age. Got to see my aunts and stuff too, I can’t rag on her too hard because one has cancer, but they were talking about some pseudo-spiritualism-science for a long time and I just had to smile and keep my mouth shut for a while. “I’ve read it takes 48 days for the spirit of the deceased to reach the heavens. And it takes 48 days for a developing baby to be imbued with the spirit. Coincidence??” yeah idk lmfao. Great dance party with the fam though lol. Tessa’s looking unhealthily skinny but tremendously happy. I’m glad she’s back and done with her crazy dieting. Puts me to shame, tbh. Kinda makes me want to go a little harder and finish trimming off my fat but I’ve got more healthy plans I’m gonna start working on I think. Saw danni and her new gf, she cut my hair and gave me a new dye job. Was frustrated that I had to have so much cut off because I wanted to keep growing it out, but it Does look pretty fucking great and I have faith in her regardless lol. Smoked with her and grandpa and mom and talked about a whole bunch of shit. Tried to explain about how I treasure my personal time way more than investing my time into growing my wealth, had to try and do it without giving him shit for spending all his time trying to make money and not having any of it left to himself after the divorce. Also asked if he was gay and he said nah so that puts that to bed lmaooo. we went out to the Keys and that was kind of a disaster. I always kinda romanticized the thought of them when I was a kid, remembering like bright white sandy beaches and beautiful water, but there’s actually not much of that at all down there. The beach we went to smelt like rot. It was beautiful but covered in seagrass and very shallow, me and tessa and tav and trusten had a nice time of swimming against the current together joking about shit. Made a nice dinner of fried salmon and asparagus for my little brothers. Felt nice to cook again, should probably do more of that. Things boiled over with my mom when she kept fucking with the other food I picked out for us. Wasted a whole pack of bacon out of spite and so I flipped shit and decided I was done with them. Spent a day playing video games and tanning and laying around, was probably best to heal up my nuts anyway lol. We left the keys a day early because of it, but not before we got to watch this tenacious D video that they had. No wifi lol. Lessee. Came back up, saw gabbi and I think I like her new bf. They seem pretty good together, but I tried to warn them to not nitipick each other to death now that they’re moving in together. Good luck lmfao. Drank 9 beers and a cider with my uncle DJ and cousin Dom and his girlfriend was cute too, I shared wayyy too much about my life, told half my family about how I had my friends photograph me fucking at the old well, but ate some delicious fucking italian cooking and had a wonderful night. Smoked with DJ and mom and listened to their old stories of growing up as kids and getting into trouble for smoking and stuff. Oh and right before the keys I started binge watching Doctor Who. Since Katy went and watched every single episode of rick and morty in one night I asked her what her favorite show was that I could do. Doctor Who is a Little more involved, but I’ve gotta say it’s fucking incredible. Fell in love with it within minutes, had me giggling like an idiot all week. I’d stay up til like 7am watching episodes, get a few hours of sleep and then try to do whatever everyone else was though by the end of the trip it wasn’t much. The drive home wasn’t very eventful, me and mom split it, and it ended at a nice pit stop at dar and pa’s for some pancakes and a nap before I had to head home. Was trying to do a melee tournament and see katy and found out I needed to get my tire fixed, but then costco was going to take too long and so would melee so I just got back to greensboro and had a nice night of watching adventure time and a little sex and cuddles. Pretty fucking solid vacation despite the fighting with the fam, not gonna lie. Plus this is like the first time I look really not-fat in beach pictures, it’s kinda incredible.

So Katy... I spent a lot of time talking to Katy. We’ve at least snapchatted every day for the past month now, but haven’t had another drunk convo like when I was at the lake. After seeing her when I got back on monday I also spent the night with her again weds, and we’ve been bingewatching Adventure Time from the beginning and I took her out to eat at Smith Street Diner, it’s all been fantastic. But she couldn’t see me tuesday because she had another guy friend over (and another on thursday, but I was at work anyway lol). So I get kinda jealous that she has this beautiful ass kid and all these other guys wanting to fuck her, mostly because I don’t have other people or a very decent schedule to hook up right now, orr even get to go out drinking with her. Feelsbadman. It also feels like it’d be too much work/money to try to get a side chick anyway, and plus, melee is my real side hoe let’s not kid ourselves.. [speaking of which, the day I couldn’t see her I kicked ass at melee and won a little money, so that was pretty fucking great.] She’s amazing to spend time with and she gave me a toothbrush to keep in her bathroom and I love cuddling up with her beautiful body, but tbh she’s pretty standoffish whenever I try to get too intimate in person (mostly trying to kiss her too much), and when she refuses to send me a message back because she’s with somebody else I can’t help but shake this feeling like I’m not good enough for her... Feelings are stupid. I worry about going too hard too fast with her, but every time I’ve gone too far off the deep end she’s been able to laugh it off, which I think is incredible. Definitely should have scared her off with the shit I was saying about trying to make her fall in love with me (and not vice versa, for the record, because I still don’t have any feelings <:^D ) when I was 10 drinks deep, but somehow she even laughed that off. Plus she’s fantastically nerdy and exposed me to doctor who and this show is like my favorite shit right now lmao. I’ve just wrapped up the fourth season, which is about 37 hours of watching within the past two weeks.. It’s so fucking goooood, man. She told me all I had to do was catch up to her at the 12th doctor but I wanna go back and watch all the old stuff after that, too. so like 56/835 episodes done so far so good lmaoo. Anyway. Idk I just hope I get to spend a lot more time with her doing cool shit. I don’t know what I am to her, so I have no idea if this is gonna go anywhere, but it really doesn’t matter all that much to me anyway. I just enjoy hanging out with her, and she got me to quit smoking cigarettes completely, and now I’m watching this wonderful show instead of wasting my fucking life bored on twitch streams, and I’m even actually starting to get motivated to start exercising again. And the sex is greattttt lmaooo. So I want to spend as much time with her as possible. It’s pretty gay, not gonna lie, but that’s where I’m at right now. Idk why I’ve always needed some cute girlie to help motivate me to get my shit done, though. Personal flaws...

OH HOLY FUCK so this week was the most productive week ever though, because not only did I manage to get laid and place 3rd in melee this week, I also FINALLY got to take the exam for my RPSGT!! The day I was originally scheduled for was a shit show, I drove 2 hours out to fayetteville and found out they had fucked up my registration and I didn’t get to take it that day after waiting for hours to see if they could fix it, but luckily I was able to get rescheduled for the day after, so I left Katy’s place to go to Durham and took it at 8am thursday. I was fucking sweating a little, not gonna lie. They were asking me all sorts of questions about pediatric sleep medicine that I wasn’t quite prepared for, and some of the scoring questions were confusing to me, but I managed to pass! So now I finalllllllllly have made it to become a real sleep tech. Gonna get that fat raise and finally get to a point where I can stop worrying about money, it’s fucking phenomenal.

So I’m so fucking ready to get off work... Gonna go back to raleigh today and see fonzi and frankie and maybe johnny so that’s gonna be sick. There’s this new melee mod that came out so I’m thinking about getting a soldering iron and fucking with my controller, maybe I’ll actually be good at this game lol. Dunno when I’m hanging with katy next hopefully every day lmfaooo. I guess I’ll update when I update. 

[punkscowardschampions]

Edie & Diego

Edie: Aygo! I got a pitch, you buying? Diego: give me more to go on Edie: oh yea, you too young to know how it usually goes on casting couches, my bad lil homie Edie: you got any super 8 atm? Diego: Can get some Diego: a day or two? Edie: what u gotta clear ur schedule big man Edie: u on ur business boi respect Edie: well, i think we could do most of it in a day buuuuuuut i gotta secure a car to trash and i haven't convinced iggy he don't need that fuckin' hippie van so that'll be another day as and when, ye? Diego: I can give you that Diego: on your own with the car situ Edie: ye ye ye i won't get u in the shit Edie: what kinda big sister would i be?! Edie: but, similar vein, don't tell mum and dad where we shooting okay Edie: you'll be safe with me but they'd never sign off on it ya feel Diego: understood Diego: where we going? Edie: don't u like surprises? 😜 Diego: hard no Diego: get a car that goes so we can store the equipment before killing it I'd like that Edie: What about ones you can't hear, better or worse? cos I've got some fireworks that might be cool Edie: you don't like surprises but you wanna DIE Edie: boi i can't drive! Edie: I'll see if I can get someone to take us but if not, hitch ur wagon to my pushbike Edie: just like old times n'awwh Diego: I'll steer you do the pedals Diego: fireworks smell bad but I won't do fart jokes if you want the colours Edie: if we find a motor that runs Edie: know there's one that the O'Dwyer lads left under that dodgy underpass Edie: but I say we got only so long 'fore that's completely fucked/burned out Edie: time's a wasting boyo Diego: Can be ready day after tomorrow if you are Edie: not a cult classic but how you rate it? jake's usually a fittie but he's pretty dorky in that Diego: the special effects were bomb for the era Diego: I can give you the same commercial success with my skills Edie: dope 💎 Edie: i'll storyboard lowkey for u but i'm happy for it to be mostly in the moment real shit Edie: u can use editing magic after if ur so inclined lil dude Diego: send me the song Diego: I'll get a feel Edie: hoe u best hop on my soundcloud rn Edie: gimme them listens Edie: EDieM as you clearly forgot 😤 Edie: newest track on there Diego: I remembered how to sign it, giving you that promo to my friends, but yeah Diego: confusion Diego: you're you're name sign to me Edie: 🙌 ayo, jokes aside about being a musician with a load of deaf fans Edie: always amping that bass up so should be feeling it literal Diego: capitalise Diego: nobody else is Diego: take the silent disco concept and make it fresh Edie: 💸💸💸 Edie: i'm into it Edie: fuck the mainstream, making music for the kids at places like ur school n mine n all the other's who a lil fucked up Diego: Put that into your storyboard Edie: 😏 Edie: mightbebreakingintomyschool Edie: itseasyandriskfreedoneitbefore Edie: hey, d'ya reckon we could get our hands on some hearing aids and shit Edie: not about to suggest we break into your school, more to nick=not worth it Diego: Old people's home? Edie: yassss Edie: shame our grandparents are young as shit and we love 'em enough not to do it to 'em Edie: i'll give 'em a free performance, they'd LOVE that Diego: ma has my baby stuff kept cos she loves me real deeply Diego: won't be enough but its a start Edie: 🙄 lowkey a hoarder Edie: imma make billie n her go round all the antique shops, keep an eye out for those real old school ear trumpets Edie: that'd be sick Diego: my teacher has one of those! ill ask if we can borrow it Diego: he loves showing it around Edie: 👏 i've got a vision so hard now Edie: u can ask if any of ur friends wanna be in it but we'll have to do that 'round here Edie: look like pied piper paedo taking too many of yous away on a jolly Edie: esp. with a 🎥 in tow Edie: lord help me Diego: I'll do seamless cuts Diego: there's a girl that NEEDS to be in it Edie: I see how it is Edie: ur REAL muse Edie: better not be too cute, stealing my shine Edie: i'm the ⭐ remember Diego: Understood Diego: She's a good singer if you do need backup Diego: [Sends her soundcloud] Edie: oooooookuuurrr lil mama Edie: i see u Edie: if she's down then we can make it happen sure Edie: get you your boo thang 😍 Diego: I'll ask Diego: don't out me Edie: gon' get all shy? Edie: use your director swag Edie: just don't get #metoo wid it, Tarantino, alright? Diego: She's shy Diego: and with that voice Edie: or playing it Edie: best be chill then lil one Diego: You think she's faking coy? Edie: meh, might be too young to know how Edie: but that's what girls do Diego: do you? Edie: i'm not telling u all my signature moves! Edie: depends Edie: lots of lads don't like it if a girl is funnier, more mouthy and opinionated than they are, if that's what you're after, then sure Edie: some boys want that at the start, so they can 'tame' you and have that on their ego, so you end up pretending later Edie: but you'll get it as you grow Diego: Everyone's thinking too hard Diego: I just like her, she's nice and funny and talented Edie: you sweet sweet child Edie: don't ever grow up k Edie: once u hit 10, 11, you'll be a right dickhead Edie: always happens, the girls usually a bit before 'cos we're always ahead of yous Diego: Are not! Diego: and I'll be sick when I'm older you mean Edie: are so! Edie: we'll see Edie: not in my experience but prove me wrong Diego: I'll be the first Diego: Be ready Edie: 😂 believe it when i see it Edie: guess Junie isn't so bad but that's 'cos he's gay Edie: its different Diego: He's not? Edie: oh yeah shh Edie: keep that under your hat Edie: deal with that one later Diego: more importantly Diego: half the school want to be in this Diego: they're telling me Edie: ✋ hahaha yes brotha Edie: can do so much more with a full cast Edie: i'll make sure its fun, even if they can't come for the illegal bits Edie: love these kids, so hype 😂 Diego: im loving the song Diego: Feeling it Edie: forreal? Edie: u can be brutal, my ego can take it 😉 Diego: don't need Diego: it's bomb Edie: knew u was my fave Edie: feel free to rub it in w the others Diego: They'll state me a liar Diego: but you're on to something with these beats and you need to be told Edie: i got ya back Edie: i'll start bein a real cunt to 'em sharpish, like Edie: no room for doubt lmao Edie: gotta when u gassin' me up so hard Diego: ulterior motives Diego: can I use some of the footage for school Diego: If it turns out it's one less essay Edie: 'course you can Edie: its probably not all gon' be sfw, don't need the 'rents saying i got u in shit as prev. mentioned, but the salvageable shots, go for your life Diego: I'll do extra editing don't want you in the same trouble Diego: I'm trying to film what we do much as the whole fam'll stand it Diego: personal project Edie: Fair 'nuff, fill your boots Edie: I ain't camera shy Edie: And Rio and Gracie can't pretend they are either Edie: always pouting looking like braindead fish 😂 Diego: Got a mountain of footage of them already Diego: Only been doing a few days sly Diego: I want Billie's vibe but I can't catch her Diego: Iggy same Edie: Shoulda known 😂 Edie: yeah good luck with the rest, either too busy for the fam or moody lil fuckers Edie: take ya pick Edie: self included usually obvs but you know, wanna do this music thing proper so Edie: got 🍀 kid Diego: arrgh Diego: facts Diego: I'll keep at it Diego: maybe I'll strike it with them Edie: get gus to round 'em up Edie: hard to say no to Diego: Now that's an idea Diego: Bound to work Edie: i'd pay for that energy Edie: i do 😂 Diego: hahahah Diego: put a price on it Edie: if i could bottle what he has i'd be laughing Edie: don't give a shit what nobody thinks man, what a cool kid Diego: his piss bottles itself some of the time Diego: you're there Edie: ya nastys Edie: secured a ride Edie: ur equip is welcome Edie: but i gotta go now, favour fo' favour Diego: I'm in too then Diego: don't do anything I wouldn't Edie: 👌 Edie: like i said, don't grow up Edie: need that childlike wonder for my vision Edie: catch you on the flipside mofo Diego: not in my plans Diego: enjoy yours