wienners · 7 months ago
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i fucking hate admitting this but this was subconciously me in 2017 watching EMH for the first time
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Fic idea
Everybody lives/Nobody dies AU set during the restoration of Erebor
Every able body has a job because its the beginning of winter and if they want to move into the mountain before it snows they have to clear it and patch any outer holes pretty fast
Bilbo can't do much because he's not as physically strong as a dwarf so he helps the wounded for a while and after that ends up in charge of food distribution and because hes the only one with the patience and (drilled in) manners ends up being the diplomatic negotiator when it comes to getting the food
and occasionally other items because dwarves dont want to deal with elves and elves dont want to deal with dwarves
So Thorin has recovered enough to start being a king again and it takes him a while (since hes either struggling to move about or sitting in meetings he cant run from) but he eventually realizes Bilbo has ended up with most of the work and duties assigned to the Queen Consort
Thorin feels all warm inside but he feels bad that Bilbo doesnt know about all this and decides he'll tell him next time he sees him...
...except next few times he sees him Thorin can't get him alone or Thorin gets called away. And then Thorin makes the mistake of imagining what it would be like if Bilbo was his consort... and never gets around to telling him because this way Thorin can keep playing pretend
This comes back to bite him of course because all his decisions do eventually
Way back when his grandfather was on the throne and they still had their kingdom Thorin's family set him up in a arranged marriage. It fell through after Smaug and last Thorin knew she was betrothed to some other dwarf
Well turns out he died before they ever got married and now that Thorin is on the throne and has his kingdom back her and her parents want to revive the engagement
They show up and Thorin obviously doesnt want to do this. He hasnt even fully recovered enough to actually bask in his glory and happiness. His largest argument against it is that Fili and Kili are already his heirs, and since arranged marriages are only created to ensure the continuation of the royal line (with the whole 1/3 population being female and therefore scarce) theres no need
Why all that is happening shes ambitious and tracks down Bilbo and asks to be included in the affairs, since is to be the Queen and he is doing the Queen's duties
Which of course Bilbo didnt know about as theres no royalty in the Shire
Thorin doesnt know she did this until she comes into a meeting with Bilbo since shes shadowing him (well as much as a Queen-to-be can shadow)
Thorin is angry. Bilbo looks mad. Thorin is now scared.
He thinks Bilbo is mad he's been doing a job equal to the King's workload and nobody told him. Thorin knows he shouldve given Kili that job as soon as he was recovered (since Fili as Crown Prince is shadowing Thorin) or got over his little fantasies and told Bilbo himself
Bilbo is actually mad that 1) Thorin is getting married and no one told him (which isnt actually confirmed but the bride acts like it is) 2) Thorin has been engaged this whole time (not true) 3) she keeps messing with his system and his charts
Bilbo as a hobbit has had manners drilled into his very core so of course he's "willing" to work with Thorin's betrothed for hours each day. Of course he acts like everything is fine. Of course he says nothing bad about her to her soon-to-be family
So of course Thorin (and Fili and Kili and Dis if shes there) think Bilbo is perfectly fine and any irritation he has is coming from having to keep adjusting his schedule and his system. Or elves. You can always count on elves to ruin your day
Then to Thorin's horror it starts to look like theyre becoming friends
Once Bilbo gets over the greatest of his itty-bitty (ha!) heartbreak he actually likes her. He really tries not to.
When that happens Thorin decides hes got to put a stop to this and puts his foot down. He is the king and his word is final. He is not getting married.
After that whole fiasco Bilbo is mad at him again 1) he has to adjust his system again to get it back where it was since hes obviously gonna have to go back to doing this himself without a partner 2) Thorin has no tact and now Bilbo and several others are scrambling to fix this mess 3) Thorin will marry someone eventually, and now the pain is being drawn out
Also Thorin never specified why he doesnt want to marry her and that brings up its own set of problems (such as insulting her whole house)
The company sends Biblo in to get answers on that last one because apparently hes the only one other than Dis that can drag answers out of him, and Dis knows but wont tell them.
Its the end of a very long day, Bilbo does not want to do this. Thorin really doesnt want to deal with this anymore tonight. Neither get what they want
Thorin says things that make this worse because of course he did
Anyways Thorin doesnt get his act together until hes informed that Bilbo has made preparations to leave mid-spring
Thorin is heartbroken which means he does one of two things: get angry and in your face, or get silent and isolate himself
Its only mid-winter now which means if someone doesnt do something this is gonna drag out another 3-4 months
Bilbo still goes around and sees his friends and basically ignores Thorin because he will not have the last weeks with the greatest friends he'll ever have get passed up because hes moping around over being in love with a king. A dwarf king. A king of incredibly secretive people. Most of his people dont trust him with anything beyond broad organization. As if he stood a chance
The days start getting longer which mean feasts will happen soon which mean Bilbo and Thorin have to actually talk to each other one-on-one
Thorin ends up swallowing his pride and apologizing. Goes back to what he thinks is the beginning of all this and also apologizes for not telling Bilbo about consort duties which gets Bilbo all confused because what does that have to do with anything? Unless its him making assumptions about hobbits? So Thorin has to explain why he didnt tell him that he was doing the consort's duties
Bilbo is all like "oh..." and instead of doing the easy thing and telling Thorin he likes him back he decides to go the embarrassing route of "thats why you kept giving me jewelry and gifts! You like me!" Eventually he gets around to telling Thorin that he likes him and he was only leaving because him getting married and therefore replacing Bilbo just reminded him that he doesnt belong here with dwarves and he really didnt want to still be in Erebor the next time the topic of weddings come up (just wait till Thorin finds out Kili fancies a elf... hopefully Fili's future engagement is less rough then this while fiasco)
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startwithbrooklyn · 3 years ago
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THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / SEPTEMBER 28-29, 2019 // the bonny scot
posting this a day later than normal because this is one of the rare episodes that shows a passage of time from one day to the next yayy love that for them
-wonder what filming these beginning sexy scenes is like for them in real life
-sooooo can lucy see nancys sexy dream? is she judging? does this mean she likes nancy with owen or nick more? or is she trying to tell nancy that her sex dreams are irrelevant to the mystery at hand and she needs to focus?
-seeing people in the ✨prison chair✨: gomber, carson, karen (voting for josh s3 just saying)
-completely ignores carson's question about herself typical nance
-"or maybe i did stumble across a knife" its like hes trying to make the case against him look plausible while attempting to maintain innocence. this is a slippery slope for carson to try and encourage her to keep her pacified + hide the truth while also trying to keep her from getting involved bc hudsons
-"genetics gets you in the door" aaaaand then she walks in to everetts office to meet him and crashes their family dinner
-ok who tf is dawn and why is she in charge here
-this guidance counselor of nicks is my favorite person
-"i admire your allergy to pleasantries" bess and nancy both have reveals to big families but nancy does not have the graceful, accepting reveal to her rich family like bess does at this lunch. nancys reveal is messy, cold, bloodstained and sticky-fingered, not nice in any way whatsoever. and this little chat with everett (bit of a parallel to lucy's) just highlights how nancy is always bad at bargaining with her grandparents*- always trying to fight on their level but giving up her equal hand bc she doesnt know how to hide it when they bring up something she doesnt know. like confronting celia at the masque: she was so confident with her theory and what she knew, but then we got a "what does that mean?" like. the instant you say that, you lose. and she walked right into the "yes i do have someone, hes in jail" 🤦🏼‍♀️ even in the car with ryan at the end of s1, he literally just fucking leaves her there. like 🤷🏼‍♀️ what did u think was gonna happen sis?? for all she can predict how past things lead to present circumstances shes fucking awful at seeing the direct future *(grandparents except for patrice bc her dementia makes her inaccessable)
-lmaooooo this awko ass portrait...i get the empty space is for nance but who on earth thought this was a good pic??
-LISBETH 🥺💙
-"will u help the claw for me?" george struggles financially to keep her livelihood while nancy is somehow shown as being taken care of even when her parent is incarcerated; both nancy and george live in single parent homes now with mention of both medical debt and george being breadwinner yet nancy has no struggles while george does. (i wonder if ryan had been able to help george here how the story would have changed)
-"when it comes to following people around without their knowledge or consent i am somewhat of a repeat offender" 😂😂😂
-"he wasnt endgame after all" BESS lmaoooo
-"...okay." lmaoooo i fuckin love owen
-i was hoping the girls' faces would be more shocked like with a glance to owen but they just....werent
-"we're the good guys" <---- this statement is soooo interesting in terms of how they structure the show and how the characters see themselves (its an interesting contrast with the more definitive good vs evil with things that are both clearly good and clearly evil but theres also a lot of moral grey area here, the show is kinda swamped in it. are nancy and crew the good guys? are they the bad guys in someone else's story? concerns.)
-"i'd call it more than just stuff" like why did u concede that??? and then the shit about oof that didnt sound like a compliment lmaoooooo why does she suck at arguing?? she and owen wouldnt work long term bc theyre so similar (as mentioned later on)
-i LOVE george slowly falling in love with nick here- hence how upset she gets when nick bails on her for nancy later (which is totally justified!!!)
-i am LIVING for the little nod this driver guy gives bess when she turns back around all nervous 😂
-"i do like buying things" i would so say that too tbh
-"you'd have plenty to talk about" LMFAOOOOOOO SHE KNOWS "marvins dont marry drivers" so diana is totally fine with the gay its just the poor she has a problem with 😂💙fuckin love that
-love how nancy just casually ruins everything for nick/george lmaooo
-"i have seen you at your best, nancy, and there is nothing like it." 🥴😳 i love this still-in-love look nancy gives him thats so strong he had to change the subject
-so is haunting time 11 pm? from that clock of bashiir's?
-how do NO neighbors notice this fucking water and shit
-these are TOTALLY AWFUL fake screams from the bonny scot crew 😭
-"i know well enough not to get involved when he's in play" both carson and ryan avoid engaging with everett even though nancy is willing to do so armed with less info and more balls/ but "could i trust him" and ryan says yes lmaooooo NO honey + that makes ryan 0/2 for helping the girls when they ask this ep
-"find a project of your own" and he does, with his youth center 🙏🏻💙 what s2 foreshadowing!
-"god i wish i still drank" 😂😂😂
-"she is darling." 💙👌🏻
-okay wtf is mirror bay??
-i really wonder about the extent of celia x sebastians relationship here. did she truly care about him or was it just secret and exciting sex? also would love more hints of diana vs celia moments like these. celia doesnt even look upset. i mean shes had time to deal but like wtf. and who exactly is sebastian to diana? not her husband? like damn what if he was. somehow i doubt she'd talk about him diddling celia if diana was disrespected also
-i wonder if celia being so invested in dna testing nancy was bc everrett dna tested ryan to make sure he was his bc of sebastian / other men (which would be totally valid on his part!! but wouldnt it be funny as fuck if ryan wasnt his 😂)
-what a neat hiding place in this frame lmaooo who put that in for them tho? like how do u go about ordering that
-"you certainly are your fathers daughter" this quote is doubly ironic and foreshadowy bc theyre referencing carson here as being a useful hudson attaché but nancy is playing everett just like ryan played celia about putting his house up (but TRIPLY ironic bc carson pulls off the long con of hiding nancy from the hudsons right under their noses this whole time!) the one time nancy is successful against them
-that bess/lisbeth look while lisbeth does something badass (+diana reassessing now that lisbeth has been revealed to be useful)
-"almost as fun as a real fight" why do i believe him? lmaoooo a bit weird that he would enjoy a fight w a partner, but i also think this is an acknowledgement of nancy being an "opponent" who exists at his level. but i also love the "let me take you out" as a direct mirror of her relationship with nick, where she avoids the public acknowledgment/"going out" but prefers the more subtle/hidden arrangements of staying in. but as shown with later eps, owen is way more capable of meeting nancy where shes at, which is so important to her + the only way of getting close to nancy. (the only foil is ace who somehow is able to do both)
-"not always about a guy" <---- this could have been such a powerful statement if the show had thought having nancy end up alone/choose herself instead of pitting her between love interests (nick, owen, gil, even potentially ace, in only 2 seasons) was a more worthy stance to take ; as an aro/ace person i cant tell you how much i would kill to see just one female protag choose herself over a man. and its more realistic to end up alone than have a happy ending anyway, for all that these shows try to be as "real" and gritty grimdark as possible
-"is that what you want?" this is an interesting question to his mother- like maybe he senses her unhappiness? combined with his issues with his father- still trying to look out for his mom? either way it's sweet. (it could also potentially work as foreshadowing of something happening to her, but i think that was played with but then diverted when it was revealed who really killed her) "i think its time i steer this ship" still kind of patriarchal tho. i get that its him coming into his own as a dad technically but still. i also like how he calls her "mother" and not mom
-love that old white people thumbs up at george asking about his clams 👍🏻
-okay fuck dawn tho lmfaoooo
-"stressful dinner huh?" 😂 i fucking love lisbeth so much why didnt they bring her back (wouldnt it be Fucking Hilarious if they brought lisbeth back to bounce bess on her expired visa since the marvins kicked her out and didnt fix it lmaoooooo)
-BESS IS A TOP lmaooooooo i fuckin knew it
-nick says "you can pay me back" wonder if thats gonna come back in s3 considering their "marital problems" (also, those bonds are sosus lmfaoooo if any single person cashing those was looked at sideways they'd confess in 2 seconds that some random guy is handing out bearer bonds they dont even make anymore with absolutely zero proof as to how he got them)
-"you wanna finish what you started?" 👀 (dont mind if i do)
-"i need my dad back" parallels s2 when she asks him to come home
-parent politics: "you are taking your life in your hands / no, i'm putting it in yours" vs "i know well enough not to get involved when hes in play" both carson and ryan try to dissuade nancy from pursuing her pulling this con on everett but go about it different ways: carson is wildly concerned with nancys physical wellbeing but ryan appears to be leaning more towards weighing the odds for her/ like a "you cant win so cut your losses/dont try" scenario which interestingly might have more weight with nancy; its easy for her to brush aside carson's worrying like second nature but nancy has been established to be a determined winner, and ryan speaks to her here like shes a beginners luck prodigy at a blackjack table by encouraging her to keep her record clean by not dealing in this next round. of course she herself admits shes incapable of not dealing in ie "you know me better than that" but i have lots more thoughts on how effective ryans approaches to nancy can be sometimes (saving for the reveal ep 🙏🏻)
-wonder what all carson knows about the hudsons? + that look on his face when he hangs up... wonder if he was just lying to her about knowing anything or just ashamed at having to admit bad things hes done for them
-love nick & bashiir waiting together 🙏🏻💙+ nicks very strong and pointed "good night" as a means of ending his convo w nancy on his terms (gotta reinforce those boundaries man!)
and lastly
-celia + that gossip girl moment when she just throws the whole phone away 😂(wonder if she was just talking to "gus" or whoever that guy was. keep forgetting the bobbseys' dad is in prison too, wonder if he'll feature in s3)
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ur-jinji · 4 years ago
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Could you maybe share your angsty playlist 🥺
okay okay i’m not gonna make my playlist public but i will tell you a bunch of my favorite songs off of my “feel something” angst playlist & explain the way they make me feel. i know you did not ask for that but i need to vocalize it. maybe in the future i can make spotify playlists if anyone’s interested? mine are unorganized so eh don’t wanna share lmao but anyway, here you go 😘 sorry this post is long i just love music
asleep // the smiths
literally if you hear me listening to this, i’m having a depressive episode. it’s about wanting to pass away and telling people not to feel bad lmao beautiful song tho
the background // third eye blind
amazing. heart wrenching. about being alone after someone leaves you. VERY good song. tears.
bloodstream // stateless
amazing music. love the chorus. i interpret it as being so in love with someone that theyre a part of you
brain damage // pink floyd
amazing. about going crazy. love dark side of the moon. best song on that album is “any colour you like” it’s entirely instrumental and gives me chills. it’s a feel something song for me but maybe not for others
breaking down // florence + the machine
please listen to the mtv unplugged version. ABOUT BREAKING DOWN. amazing.
bubble gum // clairo
i think it’s about regretting not reciprocating feelings for someone. chills. love. puts me in a mood instantly.
chamber of my reflection // mac demarco
BEAUTIFUL. dislike him but his music is really good. about being alone
come back to earth // mac miller
“i just need a way out of my head” god gives me chills. i love mac miller. i miss him everyday.
demolition lovers // my chemical romance
beautiful music. amazing. about two lovers who would die for each other. huge, super emotional build up, then the most beautiful music ever.
a different age // current joys
just good. good angst.
early sunsets over monroeville // mcr
AMAZING. HUGE EMOTIONAL BUILD UP AT THE END. END SO HAUNTINGLY
edition // rex orange county
BEAUTIFUL. about a couple going through some shit
free as a bird // the beatles
AMAZING. one of the best songs on this planet. it’s about a couple and the guy doesn’t really know where it all went wrong
friends // vacations
about drifting away from someone. so beautiful. CHILLS.
goodbye // the vines
fuckinv beautiful. about longing for someone and saying goodbye to them. first song i learned by myself to play on guitar
good news // mac miller
about being hella depressed and how people only want to hear the good stuff. they ain’t like ya when you’re down. gr8
halah // mazzy star
it’s about missin someone. chills. love it.
i cant handle change // roar
about not being good enough. beautiful fucking song like holy shit. but if you hear me listening to this god ask if i’m okay bc i’m not. best build up for any song in the world
i love you so // the walters
god amazing. about loving someone but you’re not good for each other
jesus christ // brand new
it’s haunting. amazing. i think it’s about dying.
life // the walters
it’s about life movin real slow. it’s a really beautiful song. love it.
married with children // oasis
god i love this song. it’s about being annoyed with your partner but at the end of the day, you love them so much you always come back. makes me cry bc relatable
moonlight on the river // mac demarco
love. it’s about dying i think lmao or maybe a relationship dying?
necromancer // joy again
literally such a pretty, chill song. feels really raw. it’s about loving someone so much but i don’t know if she feels the same way
numb // men i trust
fucking beautiful shit. so chill. about being numb lol
show me how // men i trust
gr8. it’s about wanting to be shown that the person you like cares about you but it ain’t workin
sullen girl // fiona apple
beautiful. raw. about being a sad bitch
under control // the strokes
fav strokes song. amazing. i think it’s about wanting to change someone but knowing you shouldn’t
waiting room // red orange county
fucking beautiful. it’s about someone you love dying :( it’s really sad honestly
where is my mind // the pixies
GREAT. about doing drugs & your mental state aint good
wish you were here // pink floyd
it about wishin someone was there duh it’s a really good song tho
worldstar money // joji
feels really raw. it’s about battling with your issues and wanting someone to be there for you still
now
for the final song. the one that is so fucking emotional for me.
young // vacations
i don’t know what it is about this song but it sucks any remaining serotonin out of my body instantly. the music is so beautiful. it’s about struggling with mental health i think. just wonderful.
that’s just some of my angst music 🙂 i have a lot more. these were the ones i felt like were worth noting lmao
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forethan21 · 4 years ago
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18/12/2020
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To me love isnt about staying in a relationship or dwelling on a feeling. Love to me is bending but not breaking to compromise. It is the kind where you know when to let go in hopes to trust for the best to come, the kind where you empathise, showing vulnerability and completely surrender. (Remember when Jesus died for us in the cross? Diba he gave his all, his everything just so we can live. That should be a standard in our lives. To choose someone who would do anything to just be with us without questioning our worth. Never settle for someone who gives half of their heart. Its all or nothing.) The kind that is mature. Love is what you do despite of what you feel. The kind that fights for the good of someone else even if they never see the value or sacrifice that you did. (Thats what Jesus did. He never complained when he was on the cross. All the pain and burden he endured bc he loves us. And look at us now not even recognising how amazing he is. We took it this life for granted- some of us are wasting it, choosing people for our own accord and pleasure. Im saying this in general im not hinting it on anyone, but if the shoes fits then..) The kind that demands temporary surrender of security, giving up familiar bad habits and patterns, giving unrewarded works and efforts. The kind that challenges you in so many ways. Love wasnt made to be comfortable. It was made to show change and growth.
Not gonna lie tho i loved you for you and everything youve done. Those memories are dear to me bc i knew you tried no matter how difficult it was to love me in some days. Kaya gusto ko lng magpasalamat dun. Likewise, something i learned recently was that we should never question someone elses love for us regardless if it was inadequate. Bc i realised we should be thankful for the amount of love and care we receive from any person out there. Family, friends, lovers. That itself should be enough. Its not up to us how much love they should give to make us feel satisfied. That wouldn’t be love. The greatest love you could ever receive should come from you and the Lord not from anybody else. So i just wanna tell you that i take back those times i questioned your love. Bc what you gave was already enough.
Im sorry i couldnt wait for you to change. Bc i realised if you knew how to love me the very first time I wouldnt need to tell you anything. I wouldnt feel hurt bc im rest assured that you love me enough to know what to do. It didnt feel mutual to me.
When u came bck with your letter idk it seemed like there was something missing. Committment and plans. Maybe i was hoping that youd take me back but i guess it was the opposite. And maybe that was your answer after all. To tell me that you arent staying. I hope next time you go into a relationship po, you dont assume the worst. You dont jump into conclusions when it gets tough. Bc like anything can change if youre willing to do it. You need to trust the the other side will stay. It was the way your mindset was so fixed on the idea that I will leave. That i was making excuses. Ndi pow. I jst have standards. Oo tao ka lng, you make mistakes but how do i know tht youre not gonna make the same mistake again? Im jst protecting my heart po. I guess i dont wanna experience the same trauma again.
I hope someday na you will learn to see the good in people regardless if they did u wrong pow. (idk lng ha pero I dont think youve moved on sa ex mo pow. I feel like you havent fully forgiven her and accepted what has happened. I know it hurts to know that they betrayed you like that but your worth is not defined by them po. You did your best po and if she did not recognised that then thats her loss. This is partly what keeps u holding bck. Bc u didnt get closure. I hope you reflect on that and find the closure that you need po. Dont tell me you dont need one bc i know deep in your heart that it still hurts. Like bruh the fact na sure na sure ka na sa kanya u were ready to put a ring on her finger. You were hopeful and certain. I think it was meant to happen to test you both in your worst. You had your mistakes. She had hers. Dont you think you should close tht chapter of your life before starting a new one? Or more importantly, dont you think you deserve peace? Ill leave you to think bout tht). I wasnt trying to find something wrong jst to let you go. If i did i wouldnt put myself in a situation where I will lose my friends po.
Ethan i understand you. I understand your fear of giving too much to someone who youre unsure of and thats fine. But you need to accept the consequences of your mistakes. You need to take responsibility of it and what you couldve done to fix it. (Reflection is very important.) Youre not wrong for not knowing that but again you need to reflect in every situation in your life. It doesnt matter if you were right or wrong. Its important to do this bc the next time it will happen to you, you will know what to do. reflecting really helps you to step back and understand yourself, other people and the surroundings. It helps with analysing your own feelings, emotions and as well as understanding the depth of your own thinking. You need to consider other people’s feelings too. Understand their point of view and why they did things that way. 
I told you yesterday that what happened in the past does not define you. You may have done them so wrong but i hope your realise youre not in debt to them. I remember your story about what you did to the girl. Yung trauma mo sa kanya you gotta let it go pow. You dont need to blame yourself every day for something that youve no control of. You did it out of anger. and she threatened you bc she has her personal issues as well. She was showing wat kind of person she was. It does not put a label on u. So far as I know you havent apologised to urself for what had happened and u havent forgiven her for what shes done. Whenever youre mad po dont let your emotions get the best of you. Give space and time. Step back from the situation and reflect. count to ten and reorganise your thoughts and feelings. What happened? what made me feel that way? what can i do to fix this? 
The way i see it lng ha pero it felt like youre pitying yourself. And i want o reassure you that i recognised all you did to keep this relationship. The fights where you communicated with me, the times where you waited for me to explain, the support you give, and how you made me happy each single day. What youve done until this day is enough. I cant emphasise it enough. Ndi ko yun binalewala lahat. I saw your effort. Thats why i fought for u. Bc alam ko ndi ka ganun na tao. Kc alam ko na they have perceived you wrong. I saw the good in you. I saw that youre worthy of change. Everyone does pow. That was the purpose of it all.
But ldr is frickin hard. Being in a relationship is difficult enough let along ldr. Jst thinking about the amount of trust u hav for ur partner dang.. you need to fully invest on trust yo. How to overcome and resolve issues esp if theyre like me haha. Its hard for sure to do tht kc even ako may trust issues but it is possible. But as of now theres many areas in your life that you need to fix alone. Im not saying that im right ha. I could be wrong in so many areas about you that idk of but this is based on knowing you for months. im not saying you have a problem internally cuz we all have problems po What im saying is that there are some things we need to learn from others as well. Its a matter of listening and comprehending what theyre tryna relay and teach u.
Also asking for help isnt a weakness. (Idk but i cud feel you were mad that I reached out to your mother. Bro i know na kaya mo nman maging independent and i know na ayaw mo lng maburden yung parents mo with your problems on top of theirs but its gud that alam din nla ang anak nla is struggling and needs emotional support.) Its realising that we are deserving to feel and be emotionally supported. so dont ever feel bad for reaching out and admitting that youre struggling. after all were only human.
Though i never said anything i lowkey promised that I would not give up on you (sinsabi ko sa sarili ko to) bc i wanted to show you what its like for someone to stay. You told me about your past and struggles and i did everything i can for that not to happen again. You told me what broke your heart and I nver wanted you to feel anything like that in the relationship. More like i ensured that my intentions for you are pure. But somewhere along the way i came to realise that we both need to grow seperately. Not bc i gave up on you but bc i decided to think about myself and what i needed. I dont wanna text you and talk to u bc i respect you that much to know that this isnt the right time for both of us.
Being the way i am right now is for the best. Were both healing and getting the peace we need. God knows what Hes doing with us and i keep you in my prayers at night. Maybe someday down the line well meet again, at the right time. God will decide tht for us but for now ill be supportive of you in the silence. I dont wanna be civil cuz i know itll jst hurt you more esp since you have strong feelings for me. Dont worry my love for you will remain unconditional. But one thing i cant promise tho is that idk if my love for u will stay. We dont know what the future will bring. We may find our happiness in diff places. We may find it together. But all i know is i trust God to dictate my life. Thank you Ethan. Kahit paano i felt your unconditional love din. You can text me anytime if you need anything. Ill be here nman pow.
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kindestegg · 7 years ago
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ok heres what i was talking about when i made that “discord deserved so much better” post
theres some spoilers below but heres the non spoiler, shorter version: discord is strongly hinted to be a gay man at this point but his treatment in the series has been very poor, specially considering how one of his bigger plot roles revolved around him being abused by a man he might have been interested in. mlp did a bad job with this and i’m hoping they fix it by at least giving discord a boyfriend before g4 ends definitely.
ok, let me just start off by saying, discord is now confirmed to be a gay man, BUT not in the right way, as in mlp crew better step up their game, and im gonna analyze exactly why n how i came to this conclusion.
first of all, the ep that made me pick up the dots was the recently leaked "the breakup breakdown". it depicts big mac doing a hearts and hooves day surprise for sugar belle with the aid of spike, who, by shouting something to do with pony dnd, gets discord to come help as well. however, discord isn't very amused by hearts and hooves day. he spends most of the episode talking about how its a commercialized holiday and how love is not real. which is interesting, considering friendship is another form of love, and discord does highly value friendship. so what happened to make him feel theyre separate? even when spike brings up fluttershy, discord acts nonchalantly about it, preferring to dismiss it as him just enjoying tea.
but we may have even more confirmation that it cant be fluttershy thats behind any romantic love in discord because as we have seen, he separates love and friendship despite them being two of a kind. so discord has no reason to see fluttershy as a potential partner, shes already his friend and thats enough, and she cant be the reason he thinks love is fake either, because he certainly doesnt act like she broke his heart. no, rather, this behavior is often commonly found in abuse victims, victims who have been manipulated by someone they may have had feelings for in the past.
so, who could have toyed with discord's heart, making him so bitter towards the concept of love but more accepting of friendship? ill give you a hint, it's NOT CELESTIA! i know its a common ship/headcanon but it cant be celestia, because a: we have NO confirmation that all of those headcanons and fanfics and fancomics about how discord ooooooh so tragically was in love with the beautiful celestia who thought he was an ugly beast blah blah blahhh are canon b: even if something did happen between them, he clearly has it in the past, considering he n celestia seem to be on very good terms, n still friends. n hoensstly, i dont think celestia is the toxic or abusive type.
no, rather, its tirek. really, let's take a look back at discord's arc in twilight's kingdom parts 1 + 2. no, even further. the whole of season 4, the season immediately after his one-ep reformation. he is still very clearly feeling out of place, trying his best to get in touch with ponies but making it more complicated and awkwatd than it has to be. evenwhen he's called to help and thinks he's finally going to be important and accepted, he has a hard time with fluttershy's friends. so here comes tirek, offering not only power, but even more: someone that accepts him. tirek knows him, or at least of him, he speaks of discord and how he used to be with great importance. discord wants nothing more than that: someone who would accept and like him no matter how much chaos he can bring. and thinking how shaky these first tries have been for him, nothing is stopping him on at least giving it a try, he even has a failsafe, not telling tirek about twilight until the last minute, to make sure tirek really cares about him. really, this isnt the behavior of someone who is just looking for a work partner.
so, tireks got discord right where he wants him, following him around like a lovesick puppy. he puts on a show every time they steal magic together, makes decorative art of them and even celebrates getting the medallion as a gift. i mean, tirek literally tells him to go out n be free, discord chuckles ominously n... the only scene we see of him again is him arranging windows. literally, discord isnt even trying to get away n be free by now, he wants to be with tirek. sure, the guy is starting to get a little weird n angrily pushy now that hes got more power but thats nothing to worry about!! n thats what brings my point around, because then we move to tireks betrayal of discord. hes manipulated discord into giving away every last drop of magic equestria can offer and as a thanks, he sucks out every last drop of magic out of HIM. its painful and you can just see in discords face hes not enjoying it. discord is defeated, humiliated and left ruined, by someone who he thought would love and accept him for who he was, by someone who he was already imagining spending eternity ruling side by side. that whole bright future, its gone, its broken, it will never come back, and on top of that, his friends hate him too.
now, lets fast forward a little bit, ok? what is it that discord says when he hands over the medallion to twilight, as a thanks for showing him mercy?
"tirek convinced he could give me something greater than friendship, but now i see there is no such thing"
... or something like that, i dont have the script pulled up, but i get the picture. now, what was it that discord was saying in this s8 episode? "love is fake". although friendship isnt right? ladies and gentlemen, we just found our culprit. discord believes hes learned his lesson as friendship being good and love being a lie, specially after being abused so terribly, so its obvious hes shocked seeing all the ponies celebrating love, dont they know any better? this is what makes his whole revolving around the episode so important. he sees there might be a way, but, he also is still a bit skeptical.
anyway, all this to say, discord can now be considered canonically gay... for a trauma reason.
yeah, mlp? this isnt good. this whole subtext of discord falling for a guy, being abused by him and then discrediting love? thats not good gay representation. if you wanna have one of your secondary next-to-major cast be gay i applaud you, but please, for the love of god, HURRY THE FUCK UP AND GIVE DISCORD A BOYFRIEND. a real one, not one that will treat him like tirek did and just leave him for dead. and not some androgynous looking character we see with him for 0.5 secs. i want MEAT. i want substance. we had full fledged scenes with sounds n a story arc dedicated to discords abuse. to a GAY MANS abuse. i wanna see yall fucking have the guts to take all that energy n do SOMETHING GOOD. GIVE DISCORD A BOYFRIEND, A GOOD BOYFRIEND. let a gay man character be happy for once in television and be represented in a way that doesnt involve his suffering. thats all (drops mic)
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sundrenched-smilez · 7 years ago
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odd numbers for the lesbian asks! (if it's too many just do every 4th one maybe?)
1. Femme or butch? 
for type, im vry easily wooed by butches tbh
as for myself, im genderfluid + heavily lean towards butch-ish for one gender + have been gettin more comf w that term for myself. the 3 genders i switch between, ive described as sharp, dainty and tired, for reason of not really being comf w gender labels aside from nonbinary. sharp/tired r kinda butchish, moreso sharp. like leather jackets, ripped jeans, dress pants/shirts, defs flannels (which r a given for any mood im in tbh) while tired is like mb softer, more focused on flannels + loose tank tops/shirts, shorts + certain skirts, comfy clothes, and the like   
ive found that i’m leaning more towards butch lately too, like i’ve been a lot more comfortable with pants and a nice top than i have w dresses or most skirts + im wondering if i was just hanging on to femininity for sake of society, so those r things 2 think abt. i still feel comf in them sometimes, but it’s getting much less often. gender’s weird, i still cant cling to one bc of how pressuring that is so genderfluidity is still smth for me + it shifting to different percentages is okay (im thinking out loud @ this point, but its helping so i hope its interesting to read)
3. Plaid button-ups or leather jackets?
both, but primarily flannels/plaid buttion-ups
5. Describe your aesthetic
aaahh theres a lot of diff aesthetics i could go into, but i have a tag if ur interested in a visual representation? basically, cosy homes, forests, wooden steps and bridges, cats, girls/nbs, water, plants, and old video game stuff, and clouds/skies. i’m sure there’s more in there, but for a good rule of thumb !! as for like dressing aesthetic, i like to look rly gay + attractive and a lil showy? like my shorts r Short and i love crop tops + a lot of my shirts show my bra thru them, + i like showing it when i can, like sports bra + a tank top is a fav look of mine bc i can make it look like my bra is a trim on the shirt + it’s cute. i’ve been wearing dresses less often, but occasionally, i like to rock one. id love a pair of combat boots but i have like size 11/12 feet + most stores dont carry that size + im hesitant to buy some online. 
7. Favorite pair of shoes?
its rly hard to find any, i have like walmart converse knockoffs atm + theyre a beige/grey color im not that huge on, it kinda reminds me of sandalwood but depressed
9. Any haircut goals for the future? 
there was the undercut!! and i have that down now c: next step is to dye it blue and mb some purple. i wanna bleach it if i’m gonna dye it, but im hesitant to do that bc of how damaging it is, but since my hair’s been cut a cpl time almost all the color is out now, so i think itll b ok if i take good care of it. 
11. Describe the worst date you’ve been on
i went to a cafe w someone (i think they were nb but i cant remember, it was like 2 yrs ago about ) and they were impossible to talk to bc they just kept saying “im awkward sorry” @ everything and like any conversations i tried to maintain were all one-shot responses, and like that was a lil frustrating. like i dont hold it against them or anything, more in a sense of i was rly tryin 2 carry it and just couldnt 
13. If taken, talk about your girlfriend/wife!
whooh i wish i was taken, i need affection + to b cute w someone 
15. Describe your dream wedding
hmmmm i havent thought much about it !! i know when i was younger i wanted to wear a black wedding dress but now im thinkin mb a suit that switches to dress @ the bottom?? that could b cool. I’d be happy w anything tbh, if im getting married, i’d just b happy to be w my wife/spouse. mb somewhere in a forest or on a boat would b cool, defs lots of good food and colorful flowers. I’d like a lot of color, most weddings ive been to are just b/w and bland for my taste (they’ve also all been straight tho so theres that.) it’s kind of wild to think that i might b married someday, but it’d b rly nice. i just haven’t thought much abt the planning of one. it’d b rly gay tho, probs give out tiny gay flags at each seat, and the cake could b lesbian flag colors. im rly drawing a blank on this, but i know id want all my friends around the country + world to be there. 
17. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?
i definitely want to live in a port town at some point !! idk where i’d like to settle down, ideally somewhere that doesnt get much hotter than 90 degrees + has lots of parks + is big enough for some events, like pride stuff, little festivals, a farmer’s market, and places to do things, such as a movie theater, bowling alley, mb an aquarium, if not one in a nearby town. hiking trails r also good. 
19. Favorite lesbian novel/story?
on a sunbeam!!! its a huge inspiration for me, and i love it so much. it always puts me in such a good mindset when i read it, and the artist is my age, so it makes me feel like I can also accomplish great things if i rly put my heart into it!! which is such a good feeling, and it has great representation + characters that i love, and its rly gay, and in space and theres ships shaped like fish + its gorgeous : D i could go on for hrs abt it + how important it is to me. theres an nb character too, and like the aspect of found families is one that rly hits home and it helped me get thru a rough time of my life + better accept myself as queer/gay. 
21. Favorite lesbian musician?
adult mom (tho i think they’re bi but still gay), or hayley kiyoko
23. Ever been assumed to be nothing more than a gal pal?
i think so, but i can’t place when, it’s been a bit. 
25. Be positive! What do you like most about being a lesbian?
talking abt being gay w other girls/nbs is lovely and cathartic, i never got to growing up bc i lived in a homophobic town + i was like dealing heavily with internalized homophobia and body/gender dysphoria so i was ace for a bit. talking more abt like sexual attraction + aesthetic attraction is new to me, and that’s been a process to get to, but it’s nice that I can now do so w/o being belittled or barraged by insult. i also just love the thought of being w someone, and daydreaming abt when that happens is really nice. also,, girls + nbs r a blessing and brighten my day and im so glad im attracted 2 them 
27. Turn ons?
absolutely communication, that’s a need. i had a bad experience w someone bc she wasn’t communicative at all, and failed to tell me that we weren’t dating despite us going on several dates + kissing??? like i wont go too into it, but hatchi matchi it was a mess. so yeah, communication, affection, and like reassurance that they actually want to be with me, and that my presence is wanted and enjoyed. I got a lot of “i dont care”s for answers last sort-of relationship, and that was rly discouraging. another turn on is for them to initiate talking and things, like holding hands or planning to hang out + such. consent is another big one. 
29. Do you usually ask other women out or do you wait for them to ask you?
i usually tend to ask them out, but im still dealing w internalized junk, so its difficult. i also havent any situations in which they liked me back, which is frustrating. like i got lead on earlier summer for abt a month until i asked what we were doing + didnt rly get an answer, and it was this whole mess. i generally try to make the first move tho, bc i know firsthand how difficult it is, but that being said, it’s still hard for me to know for sure if theyre interested + i dont wanna make things uncomf w them, so i’ll wait until i think there might b attraction. that being said, once that’s all out of the way, i like to consider myself a good flirt when im trying. 
31. Talk about your interests or hobbies!
i have lots of interests!! im obsessed w steven universe, its my fav show (and if u ever have time, we should totally watch it together sometime, i rly think you’d love it, it’s super gay + heartwarming.) i really love playing music and learning new songs, which im rly great at memorizing. talking to friends + gettin 2 know them better is always nice and fun. i like to draw new things + see the different ways ppl draw, so seeing art on here is always fun for me. i’m also rly into polygon videos (it’s a youtube channel, not like videos abt polygon haha) and this podcast called the adventure zone. season one just ended, so i might start listening to another one called friends at the table. i rly wanna start a podcast w someone, but can never find anyone to start it with. idk what I’d talk abt but if i could find a partner for it, i think it’d be a lot of fun. mb smth abt games or books/queer representation in media. doing a dnd podcast would also b rly fun, but a lot of work + editing so mb later down the road !! im blanking on other interests atm, but animations and cartoons r lovely and i aim to make something in that field one day, if not just a comic.
my hobbies r mostlyyyy drawing, dnd things now every thursday, hanging w my friends, playing video games, sometimes writing (i rly wanna start a comic, and im tryin to get my butt into gear on it), goin to parks, listening to music, and goin 2 events w roe + cesar, two of my friends. sometimes ill play music!! i need to get more than the keyboard i’m lending, but i love performing. ill also watch leg birds on youtube, theyre a lesbian couple that plays gams + theyre rly sweet. 
33. Do you love easily or does it take time for you to warm up to someone?
its easy for me to love friends, doesnt usu take me more than a few months of knowing them if were talking a lot. as for falling in love, that takes me a lot longer. ive never rly been in love w someone. i thought i was once, but rly it was just my first gay experience w someone and i wanted it to be perfect so i projected a lot of things + made it better than it seemed to myself for the duration of it, which wasn’t healthy, so i wanna avoid doing that again, + take things slower next time. or at least for what they are. 
35. Ever fallen for a straight girl?
a few times, they were just crushes tho, so it wasnt too too bad
37. Favorite comfort food?
hot cocoa or tea. as for food food, i dont think i have one. mb french toast or cinnamon rolls. 
39. Vegetarian? Vegan? None of the above?
i used to be a vegetarian!! for like a yr, but it was difficult for me to eat and feel full, and i was pretty underweight, so i stopped. 
41. Early-riser or night-owl?
both, i tend to stay up, but getting up early can be nice if i dont have to do anything. like just gently waking + making some tea and a nice breakfast + sittin around for a bit. 
43. What is your Myers-Briggs type?
enfp-a 
45. At what age did you know you were a lesbian?
i think like 16-17? it took me a bit to get words for identity, like lesbian/nonbinary and the like, but i always knew, like id call myself an individual as opposed to gendered terms that i was referred to, and always felt rly yucky w deadname + the wrong pronouns
47. Are you crushing on anyone at the moment (celebrity or otherwise)?
ive got one crush atm !! and another person who seems nice, but i wanna hang out w before like thinking abt a crush (im poly, which perhaps goes w/o saying, but i always like to state it when talking abt these things, jic )
49. Talk about your dreams/aspirations for the future
i’d like a partner or two, to get some bongos- i got to play some a couple weeks ago, and it was the most fun i’ve had playing anything!! having smth with an instant response that i could make up rhythms with was really rewarding and so much fun. i know i want a cat at some point, to go on cute dates + cuddle and kiss a lot w someone, to visit my friends in other places, dye my hair, get a better job, to travel a bit, make a comic, go to college for animation and storyboarding, mb go to camp at some point, and I’d like to make some more friends here, i’m already making some, which i’m super happy about, but it’s always nice meeting new ppl 
thank u for asking!! this was relaxing + fun, and a lot of the topics were cathartic to talk about, and i needed it. so thanks for listening too kinda
also im queen of commas, i’ve discovered while typing this
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booksandchainmail · 6 years ago
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nanoha vivid liveblog: episode 7
we off left last time with nanoha and teana both preparing massive attacks. which team will win? will this fight last another beautiful, beautiful twenty minutes?
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oh, we’re starting off with the op this time. probably means theres a lot of action early on
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starting with these two seems appropriate (and a hell of a fight)
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gods, fate’s two swords mode is badass. 
One thing that’s really great about this training fight in general is that everyone gets to go all out (with limiters), and since its in the future compared to strikers, we get to see some pretty rare moves all together at once
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fucking brutal vivio, you kicked her in the head
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shes so cute
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annnnd headshot
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and nanoha returns to its roots of fuckoff huge beam attacks
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sein is suddenly very glad she wasn’t allowed to participate
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thats also just a really good tactic, since its not like subaru would have survived it if she had shielded herself more. I’d wonder why more people didn’t try, but i don’t actually think anyone else was close enough to a team member. Also smart of subaru to shield vivio, rather than the other way around, since teana is a lot less prepared for her than she would be for her old partner
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oh cool, vivio’s picked up roller skating from nove
and using her own magic to substitute for skates is a great idea, i wonder why more people don’t do that? maybe it burns through magic quickly?
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and now for some fisticuffs
i mean, it did kinda have to come down to the two of them, and this season is focusing on martial arts rather than more magical fights, so this makes sense
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and thats a KO
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OH WAIT NO
damn einhart, you just do not give up
and using the moment your opponent’s convinced they’ve won is a decent way to land a hit on someone who specializes in counter attacks
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and now we get to see glimpses of other battles!
nanoha and teana at close range is a hell of a situation, considering they both tend to ranged attacks. doesn’t look like tea can beat her old teacher yet.
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that would have been a very punchy fight. presumably subaru wouldn’t use her destructo-hand cyborg ability in this match, but she’s still capable of a lot more firepower than einhart
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gods fate’s broadsword is good
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oh! new teams!
this one is split between frontline close range fighters and ranged attackers, which could be very strong but has some weak points
i guess what youd want is nanoha and teana hammering away at the opponents while vivio, einhart, and rio keep them stalled in the middle. hopefully the constant barrage will make the other team slip up, and will definitely limit their mobility, but if they can get fighters past the front line it’ll go poorly
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and this team is entirely speed based, with four of the most mobile fighters. it might be best to use corona’s golem as a delaying tactic on the other teams front line, and send all the speedsters around the sides to try and take out the ranged fighters quickly
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gods i want to see that fight
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holy fuck
looks like subaru got to the ranged fighters, but she’ll have a rough time getting through that barrage
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lutecia youre like two years older than they are
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awwww
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OH TIME FOR THE TOURNAMENT ARC
which might actually just be the whole plot, i think it was still running when i stopped the manga? and the anime definitely won’t get past it.
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for some reason i don’t think any of these girls will be relevant
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how has einhart not considered this before? it seems pretty well known and she’s the type to be really into fighting matches.
actually, on second thought einhart doesn’t seem to have thought much about the possibility of fighting as a sport since she’s so caught up in her inherited war memories. also, i can definitely believe she pays zero attention to current events and sports matches
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nove rolled up the sleeves on her kimono bathrobe. because of course she did.
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THANK YOU
NOW PLEASE MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS THAT
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i really do like this idea of dealing with strength-induced angst and trauma via martial arts instead of more risky avenues. imagine what the world would be like if bruce wayne started mma instead of becoming a vigilante. 
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nove is still tsundere about teaching
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this is good! i did not expect nove to be such a major part of this show, and im glad theyre acknowledging that she has a life outside of coaching. its pretty rare for mentor figure to also get their own character arcs, and especially in nove’s case it makes a lot of sense. i mean it’s only been four years since she was a brainwashed combat cyborg working for a mad scientist turned terrorist, no wonder she still needs to figure out what she wants in life
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i wonder how cost plays into this? if you need a device to compete, and better devices do make a substantial difference in fighting ability, it seems like the tournament should standardize gear to an extent, and provide for competitors who cant afford it
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gods this is fucked up.
its not enough for einhart to continuously train, to get stronger and win against powerful opponents. she feels like she needs to fight on an actual battlefield.
and i can’t really say she’s wrong. there’s a lot of difference between being a skilled tournament fighter and handling actual combat, and the example she’s trying to surpass was one explicitly for actual warfare
but she doesn’t have to achieve that strength, and she shouldnt feel like she needs to
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einhart is brooding too loudly for vivio to sleep
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hey! it’s her! they don’t give an actual rank, just a generic officer title (im assuming. unless she was demoted a lot in the past four years), but presumably she’s risen even further. i fully expect hayate to end up running the tsab 
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awww
makes sense to go to the leader of the wolkenritter and an ancient belkan magic expert for help with ancient belkan weapons i guess
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it’s the intelligent devices! 
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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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oh?
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oh
if these kids are being taught by a wolkenritter, theyre gonna be impressive
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hayate knows her fighting show tropes
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holy fuck
shes being taught by all the wolkenritter
this extremely cheerful child is possibly the best taught warrior on this planet
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ok, lets see: i’m guessing yagami is more in regards to the wolkenritter, since hayate is very much not a strike arts fighter. sword draw sounds appropriately knight-y, and i’m always a fan of sword fights. weird that she uses midchildan magic, since non of her teachers do. and she’s a newbie, which makes her a completely unknown quantity
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if these guys are fucking novices, what do the other competitors look like?!
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oh, this is really good. einhart has been training herself for a long time, and pretty much everyone’s commented on how good her fundamentals are. there’s not much point in another two months of basic training on top of that. but she hasn’t really had worthy opponents, hence the whole street fighting misadventure, and so she needs more sparring.  
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so we’re getting a rambunctious nun
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gods, sein
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hdgks;
i like her already
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oooh, two swords. incredible speed sounds like exactly what it says on the tin. another midchildan fighter, despite being part of the belkan church. and she’s also new, but a bit older than miura
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... theyre just a girl gang
i guess nanoha is going even heavier on the genre mixing than usual this season
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holy hells she’s self taught
three times competing, fifth best in the city... she’s the most experienced fighter we’ve seen yet, but i think this year’s newbies might be better than average
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the contrast of elegant lady with butler and tea, and the massive dumbbell and weight rack is excellent
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well fuck
this just got even more tied into ancient history, which is mostly just going to be weird for vivio, but could be pretty bad for einhart
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a tiiiiny bit
unlike einhart, who apparently got all of klaus’ blood
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she’s pretty old for this competition, or at least the others we’ve seen. come to think of it, it takes a weirdly large range of competitors. since its the intermediate championship, presumably theres a younger bracket, and it might be better to extend that until twelveish rather than let ten year olds fight seventeen year olds
anyways, her thunder theme is very evident here. dahlgren magic, which is a new one, to have a family rather than planetary system. and shes very experienced, and has done really well previously
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i like how everyone else is at home, or with friends or teachers, and then we’ve got this weirdo running through the desert in a dark hoodie with the hood up
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oh hell, another new magic system. her style is really broad, her skill is nondescript, her device is unknown... not a lot to go on here OH WAIT SHES THE CHAMPION. 
THE INTERDIMENSIONAL CHAMPION
nove wasn’t kidding about this region being a tough bracket
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and back to our protagonists, who now look so simple and reasonable. vivio is just a punch girl with mixed magic styles! so uncomplicated
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corona does golems. that is literally all the information here
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is rio the first modern belka practitioner we’ve see for the tournament? she’s got her own style, which honestly seems pretty common at this point, and then her maginificent FLAME-LIGHTNING TRANS, which sounds like it should be a band or something
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lutecia’s style: magic
but don’t they all use magic. that doesnt matter. lutecia uses better magic.
also, idk how much use healing and summoning will be in presumably one-on-one tournament matches
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and here we end, with our ancient fight nerd waiting for her device
gods this tournament’s going to be great
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islesblogger · 6 years ago
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NHL Trade Deadline 2019: The Aftermath
  What Happened at the Deadline?
Today was Lou Lamoriello’s first trade deadline day with the NY Islanders. From all indications he pushed a few offers, but could not find the appropriate deal to add to the Burger Barn’s menu. Something that has happened in Islanders Country a lot over the past decade of  deadlines.
Mike also details the day on the The Isles Faithful Podcast Episode 25.
The last splash was in 2006 when Garth Snow sent a bag of non-magic beans to Edmonton for Ryan Smyth. What he ended up with was poke check into the playoffs, and first round ouster by a superior Buffalo team. He didn’t give up much, and upon Captain Canada’s teary-eyed departure he didn’t gain much in return. Much like that day an adequate bargain was obtained. The Islanders gave up nothing, and got nothing in return.
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Why Did it Happen?
Lou has a relatively young first place team that is buying into a new system. They’re not only in first, but they are on a post learning curve trajectory that should keep them there. Even if other teams have improved themselves at the deadline, the Islanders GAVE NOTHING AWAY.
Their biggest assets are still mysteries. But what we do know of them is that they all fit into the current scheme. Most would think that Anthony Beauvillier would have been on the block for some of the bigger fish. But I also assume that there would have had to be some kind of extension behind a deal involving Beau. Lou would not have given away a 20G RFA with center potential for a rental.
The Islanders have been short on right handed defensemen for as long as I’ve been a fan… and that’s a pretty long time. The other two items on most price lists would have been Dobson and/or Wilde. You can flip a coin (it had better be three sided) because one of Pulock, Dobson or Wilde will be on a Norris list within five years. It’s too early to tell which one of the “prospects” will be on that list, so they’re both too valuable to be traded for a rental.
As I pointed out earlier this year, there were some names that were most likely available. Lou just couldn’t find the right mix of picks, those prospects, a target and a seller’s consent.
Where Are They Now?
The Islanders lead the Washington Capitals by two points, and have two games in hand. At this point it’s basically a three-horse race for first with Columbus making a late run. The Blue Jackets helped themselves immensely by not giving up any important roster players, and acquiring Matt Duchene,  Adam McQuaid and Keith Kinkaid. This very well could become a dogfight or a walkover in the next two weeks. The Isles’ schedule is littered with division rivals and they have two more games with Washington (3/1, @ 4/6) and Columbus (3/11 and @ 3/26). Those games will be paramount.  The final game against Washington could determine home team advantage for the first round.
Where Do They Go From Here?
There are a few paths they can go by,  but in the long run… they need to think of building a team for their new arena.  The first step in that is seeing what you have on the current roster.  
Some Questions About The Future
Where does Anthony Beauvillier fit in the Islanders’ future? Is he a top six wing? Can he be a bottom six center? Can he eventually replace a guy like Val Filppula? Can he become the next Butch Goring? Can he win a face-off? Will they ever use him to kill penalties?
Will Josh Ho-Sang ever get his act together? I’m not one who is going to say I know ANYTHING about Josh’s situation beyond what out on the surface. The young man has amazing talent, and when he throws that on the ice with full focus and the full effort of his physical abilities he’s a force. When he loses that focus, he has had some issues that keep him off the ice all together. I personally want to see him with guys like Ladd, Lee, Nelson and Beau. He has to earn NHL playing time to do that. Maybe there is one last gasp this season to see if they can put some trust in him. It will make a big difference to his first RFA deal, what they do with Eberle, and whether he is an Islander after June.
Is Michael Dal Colle a full time NHL player. He had a very good NHL showing. I think he earned a full time NHL gig next year. He might even make a cameo later in the season and possibly the playoffs. Does he have a “beast mode”. He certainly has showed it in the AHL, and he has shown plenty of “moments of confidence” against NHL vets. It will be fun to watch him evolve as a player.
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Off The IR
How do they re-assemble the puzzle with their returning pieces? I’m gonna push for the BrockLeeBar line until it happens, or they give us BrockHoLee. Lee and Nelson have been very good with Jordan Eberle, but they are not creating scoring chances at a first line clip. The Isles have been pretty good at 5v5 scoring (but not defending) over the past 4 years. They need a number one line again.
This year, neither top line has really stood out as a scoring threat. The Nelson line, however, has scored more than they have given up, and that is a rarity in recent Isles history. They need to shuffle that a bit. Andew Ladd will help that. I’m sure Trotz will be reluctant to break up what works with Lee+Nelson+Eberle. I expect to see it eventually. It could be a big boost in the second season.
Hickey will eventually be paired with an recent partner. It could be with Mayfield as a solid enough third pair. When that happens you can create a single offensive pairing that can defend the neutral and defensive zones as well. Everybody that has watched Bridgeport games for the last four years knew it had to happen eventually. Pulock and Toews for 15 minutes a night at 5v5. Make it happen!
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July?
We still have a handful of very important unrestricted free agents. Lou has passed the sell by date. Now he has a few months to sign them. No panic. My opinion… in order of importance.
Anders Lee. He’s their captain. He’s our captain. Don’t let two consecutive July’s mark the Islanders losing a captain. This one would be worse than the last one. All evidence points to Lee being an Islander through and through… so it would be on Lou if they lost him.
Robin Lehner was the biggest question mark when the season started. He has become the biggest exclamation point. He should be part of their goaltending future.
Brock Nelson. Even I thought he was a trade deadline goner in October. But Brock+structure+team buy in has been the biggest surprise of the season. If anybody thought in October that Lee, Nelson and Eberle would be the #1 line of a first place team raise your hand. Yeah, I didn’t think so. Brock has quietly (maybe invisibly) contributed 20G a year for 5 years. Now he’s in the locomotive, certainly not a passenger. He’s going to want conductor pay. Given the market for top six centers that can shoot and create from the forecheck, he’s going to get it. This is going to be a tough negotiation, but I think they come out with a solid 5 year deal.
Val Filppula. The Isles will have almost as many signed options at third line center next year as they did last year. None. I advocated for some AHL training for Beau, but that wasn’t popular. Now here we are. Val has been great. Way better than expected. They do not have another option ready in Bridgeport. Otto Koivula will get games next year, probably. You can’t rely on him yet. I think Val will be an early July signing after Lou gets to troll the waters a bit. If he lands Matt Duchene they are done. They have the resources to do it.
Post Apocalypse Outlook
All in all I’d say the Islanders came out of this okay. They go into the playoffs with a few new weapons to deploy. They also get to battle test some players with very little or no playoff experience. If they come out of it better players win win. If they win win, then Yes Yes Yes!!!
NHL Trade Deadline 2019: The Aftermath was originally published on islesblogger.com
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tschizofw · 8 years ago
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Hi, I recently started dating a girl who has psychosis. She hasn't been diagnosed long and isn't sure what I can do to help her when she has panic attacks. Her delusions are usually hearing whispering (Which she thinks is me), thinking that I'm dating her as a joke/someone asked me to date her to get back at her and that there are cameras everywhere. Any suggestions on how I can help her through these periods? Thanks in advance!
hi! ok so i have two partners and one im sure how he feels but the other im exactly like your gf. i can tell you the difference is that my bf is always saying he that loves me and how much and all and we talk every day and we talk about our future together and its very reassuring so i have no paranoia there. but with my partner theyre a little more withdrawn and we dont talk nearly as much as we used to before we started dating. i have no idea what changed. i felt no paranoia with our friendship or when they told me they had a crush on me and we were in that waiting period for my bf to say itd be ok (since i was with him first). but for some reason right when we started dating i instantly they became distant and i felt like it was a set-up and that their friends got them to stage this whole thing and that theyre collecting receipts (for what? idk i dont do shit lmao) and gonna eventually expose me (again, for what? IDK LMAO) and even though ive asked them multiple times and theyve assured that it wasnt like that (ok theyre one of the nicest people i know like they dont have a single mean bone in their body,,we're polar opposites lmfao anyway,,) i still couldnt shake it and i still cant!! so just like constantly tell your gf how much you love her and initiate conversations and sound excited when you talk to her and talk about your future together if you see one with her and if yall are the touchy type of couple then hold her during her panic attacks if that helps her and like let her rest like do everything for her like get her food and beverages and whatnot. just be like so reassuring and constantly tell her you love her but dont just say it you have to show it as well you knowanyway thats my piece. good luck with your gf!followers, mod rat, any advice??
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frop · 8 years ago
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do all of them you mother fucker
not Once but Twice u have done this to m 
Star Platinum – Your thoughts on the stars? i always did like then when i was younger but now they just make me think of jojo so now i especially like them 
Magician’s Red – Do you know any magic tricks? no but im gonna say what u said and i can bend my fingers waay way farther than most people
Hermit Purple – Show a photo of yourself! I HAVENT taken a selfie in forever i’ll do one later 
Silver Chariot (Requiem) – How much sleep do you need on average? i would love a good 10+ but i only get that much on saturday now boo but on average its like 6-7 
The Fool – Tell us a joke! Is your refrigerator running? Because i’m gonna suck your dick
The World -  A place you want to visit? canada like you would not believe 
Crazy Diamond – What do you treasure the most? hmmmmmmm my friendships with my friends 
The Hand – Do you like your hands? nnnot particularly bc i spent a good portion of my life and still do sometimes where i bit my nails til they bleed so they dont look as nice as i’d like them to be when they grow out 
Echoes – Your favourite sound? The world’s time stop sound, but not jotaro’s version, dio’s specifically
Heaven’s Door – Share a secret! my parents’ divorce has made me scared for the future of my own relationships to the point where i can see myself not ever wanting to be in a relationship ever again bc it would be easier than my partner getting tired of me or hating me. on top of the fact that i’m almost exactly like my father and my mom’s ex fiance in every single emotional department which is what caused their divorce/breakup respectively in the first place and that leads me to believe that in the long run i am Romantically  Unlovable 
Killer Queen – How would you like to die? preferably quick and painless 
Bad Company – What kind of character trades do you dislike? any character that is like ‘waahh wah no one understands me bc i enjoy [’highly advanced’ niche series/book/etc] and they all read [popular series/book/etc] like whatever the fuck his name was in aku no hana, it got so obnoxious i had to drop it lmao 
Red Hot Chili Pepper – Can you handle spicy food? cat’s out of the bag guys im actually a Fake Mexican bc i only like mild stuff and hot chips 
The Lock – Anything you feel guilty about right now? ya but thats for another day 
Love Deluxe – Are you secretly in love with someone right now? its absolutely no secret that i am in love with jonathan joestar 
Pearl Jam – Your signature dish? i can make some mean ass rice apparently 
Achtung Baby – Do you want kids? nnnope no thanks never ever i have my cat and thats enough for me 
Harvest – Do you pick up coins in from the street? no bc u dont know where thats been and money is super dirty already 
Cinderella – Which part of your body do you like the most? dang, i guess my thighs? but lately i’ve been a lot easier on myself abt my stomach and how soft it is 
Atom Heart Father – How is your relationship with your father? pretty good bc we’re really alike in temperament too but sometimes it gets pretty awkward bc he can never see me as anything but his little baby daughter who Never Grows Up
Enigma – What is puzzling you currently? when is davidpro gonna drop the part 5 teaser 
Earth Wind and Fire – What’s the best classical element? i personally have always liked fire 
Stray Cat – Cats or dogs? i love both but man im more suited for cats 
Gold Experience – A precious experience you have not shared with your followers? oh man over this summer my dad his gf and me and my sis when on a trip to her dad’s place in this really small town that was like 3 hours away from our city and it was so nice and quiet and peaceful and i felt so clean and happy there, we were only there for a couple days but ever since i’ve really been wanting to go back
Sticky Fingers – Zippers or buttons? zippers are so much faster but they get caught sometimes so Really, pros and cons of each 
Moody Blues – A song that makes you sad? OOO man i was gonna say epitaph bc Of Course but as i was writing this down melancholy man by moody blues came up on this playlist and now im thinkin abt abba and crying 
Sex Pistols – Have you ever shot a gun or riffle? no im tiny and a weenie and i would probably die from the recoil
Aerosmith – Are you afraid of flights? ive never been on one but i am scared of heights so i cant imagine thats any better 
Purple Haze – What makes you really angry? it used to be not being listened to but now i just let it happen bc Why bother but now its more whenever my mom makes a big deal out of simple mistakes of waiters/waitresses or when shes being obviously racist 
Spice Girl – Your favourite spice? idk what its called but theres this one i like to put on fruit before i eat it to make it Spicy 
King Crimson – Is it possible to predict the future? man idk my mom says yea but who knows 
Black Sabbath – How easily do you trust people? like stupidly easy 
Man in the Mirror – Do you like looking into the mirror? nope lol im ugl. ALSO bc i have a bigger than average fear of reflective stuff in general bc what if i see somethign behind me u kno,,,, 
Beach Boy – Have you ever been fishing? nope! the one time my dad went that i knew abt i was in mexico 
The Grateful Dead – What do you want to be remembered for? honestly, anything else that being the ‘way too nice one’ or the doormat 
White Album – Your favourite CD? aaaaa i dont have one i dont really listen to albums 
Talking Head – Are you a good liar? i guess ? i can keep a pretty straight face but its harder to lie to someone i actually know really well bc they can probably tell what my tics are 
Baby Face – Your thought on babies? theyre cute but i would greatly prefer to never have any 
Metallica – Do you like listening to metal? yea
Green Day – Ideal way to spend a day off? sleep, Sleep, stream with friends and lay in bed
Oasis – Best place for a holiday? hhhhh anyplace that relaxes u tbh 
Stone Free – Are you a indoor or outdoor person? i n d o o r i dont like bugs 
Kiss – Who would you like to kiss or get a kiss from? jonathan joest
Burning Down the House – Ever destroyed something and then regretted it? nah, once again im a weenie and im too worried abt consequences to ever do smth like that
Foo Fighters – Your favourite drink? god damn i fucking love raspberry iced tea 
Diverdown – Your thoughts on diving? the ocean fills me with the fear of god. no thanks 
C-Moon – What would you do for your friend’s sake? put myself in bodly harm 
MadeinHeaven – What do you believe happens after you died? nothing tbh you just end up in a grave or urn or wherever u wanted to be put 
Weather Report – Your favourite weather? man i looove love stormy weather 
Whitesnake – Your thoughts on snakes/reptiles? i love them theyre all gorgeous and beautiful
Tusk – Tea or coffee? coffee
Ball Breaker – Your favourite ball game? to play? its basket ball but to watch baseball 
Oh! Lonesome Me – Do you feel lonely right now? no not right now but im sure it’ll happen soon 
Scary Monsters – Your favourite dinosaur? i love velociraptors and also triceratops !!
Cream Starter – Do you usually wear make up? nope and if i do its only ever lipstick
Catch the Rainbow – Your favourite colour in the rainbow? blue and green!! 
Ticket to Ride – What was the last ticket you bought for? i didnt buy it but the last one i had was for the rogue one like. 2 weeks ago
Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap – Do you believe in the multiverse? i dont think abt it too often but sure
In a Silent Way – Do you enjoy complete silence? yes!! besides some music, i cant concentrate otherwise 
Soft & Wet – Shower or bath? shower bc its easier but i havent taken a bath in forever 
Paisley Park – How good are you with reading maps/directions? Terrible God Awful
Nut King Call – How good are you at assembling/constructing things like Ikea furniture? hmm it depends if i have the manual for it and if i have time to really think on it and im not in a rush or anything
Paper Moon King – Can you do any origami? nope 
King Nothing – Your favourite smell? i really like the smell of cinnamon 
BornThisWay – A strange habit you have? i crack my fingers all the damn time and i like to take off the little plastic circle off of soda bottles and chew on it 
Les Feulies – Your favourite plant? oh damn hmm i like lavenders 
Fun Fun Fun – Something you really enjoy doing? man. i could watch jojo a million times over and i’d never get bored of it 
California King Bed – What size is your bed? currently i sleep in a queen size bc my mom and sis and i share a bed bc we only had one room in our old apartment but now that we moved im sure i’ll be kicked off into a twin soon enough 
JESUS christ ok its almost midnight i hope ur happy you mother fuckre 
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4giorno · 3 years ago
Text
i have some thoughts (that i didnt already rb) now that ive caught up with the show. im gonna write them as a list bc theres a bunch of different ones and its overwhelming in the uncomfortable way lol. the thoughts are under the cut bc this got way too long
if they dont go with budd1e in the end, we’re running into this same old problem; no new relationship can compete with the emotional depth that they have. considering everything that has happened between them for 3 seasons (i do NOT have the energy to list every meaningful thing lol) and now even eddie trusting buck to raise his son if hes gone, their bond will always overshadow everything else. this is why also everything romantic that happened between buck and taylor in this episode felt very strange and superficial bc during all of this episode buck has been yelling and crying for eddie, saving his life, running around desperately and in shock bc of eddie, wishing he wouldve taken the bullet for eddie, ignoring the sniper threatening his life bc of his concern for eddie and the awfulness of his absence, dropping everything (including taylor) to be with eddie and christopher, and finally being trusted to raise chris if eddie is gone. also the parallel of the other person that got shot being bobby and how he was saved by his partner, who is his WIFE. buck and eddie will always choose each other over everyone else that isnt chris.
even if they by some miracle do go with budd1e, im still so disappointed that they did this romantic plot with buck and taylor. and the reason is that i loved their friendship. their scenes were some of my favorites, their banter was very enjoyable to watch. theyre in some ways similar people and could easily have a great friendship that included a lot of the healthy competition that they both want, even if it couldnt reach the level of emotional depth that buck has with the other ppl on the fire squad (for example bc of the massive trust issues buck was shown to still have for taylor in this episode). but now shes being put into competition with eddie and is losing badly, which i think is so unfortunate for her bc she could be a great character and a fan favorite in other ways.
one more thing abt taylor that im mad the writers did with her. shes making her moves when buck is very obviously in a bad, fucked up state (bc of the eddie related things i listed in point 1)........... like yeah buck is receptive but still the timing is awful and kind of creepy. she literally saw him when he was running around frantically making thoughtless plans and choices and, held his hands that were shaking so much he couldve dropped his phone. she shouldve known better, especially if they want us to believe that bucks assumption that she was gonna run a story abt his situation was wrong and she isnt that kind of bad person anymore. this is especially bad bc buck has been emotionally taken advantage of in the past once already (the time his therapist slept with him)
okay moving on to eddies side of things a bit. i do honestly think eddies relationship with ana was officially doomed to fail at the “just make sure youre following your heart, not christophers” scene (altho there are other things like the lack of trust, plot, screentime and emotional depth in comparison to other characters and yes, obviously especially to buck), but if they were to make them a permanent couple, this plot with making buck the next legal guardian is an extremely weird thing to include in the story and could become problematic to solve. lets assume they stay together for years and then eddie dies. the two options are buck does get christopher and ana, eddies partner who presumably has lived with chris for years, is out of the picture, or eddies will is broken/changed which would make this powerful moment in 4x14 a lot less meaningful. so......???? what do (and honestly this line of thinking would still be relevant with any other partner he may have in the future that isnt buck while chris is a kid)
okay lastly fandom related stuff. first i hope when theyre complaining ppl arent holding some idiots who attack oliver, who is an actor and cant affect the story, for baiting as the same idea as people being critical of the storys narrative failings......... and i hope they dont think you shouldnt criticize the failings bc some ppl are idiots........ 
okay i hope i wrote this in a way that accurately describes my thoughts. and i hope its clear that i dont want to bash taylor and ana, but im trying to genuinely analyze the narrative and consider past associations to see what the characters need. also im writing this when only s4 is out so truly i cant express my final opinion on these issues yet bc i dont know how the show will continue and turn out in the end.
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srcpcsoha · 6 years ago
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Could I ask you to do all 170 of the asks or is that too much lol?
Good Sir, you underestimate my boredom. (also thank you!) 
1: How tall or short do you wish you were?I think 5′3 is a good height to be.
2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not)
I WANT LIKE 30 DOXENS
3: Do you have a favorite clothing style?
I love dresses
4: What was your favorite video game growing up?
The Harvest Moon games!! And Disgaea!!
5: What three things/people do you think of most each day:
Things: Cartoons, dogs, the future6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say?
”plz do not shake”7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]?
I have no problems with persons or things
8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]
Umm.. I actually don’t know.
9: Are you ticklish?
YES. Everywhere
10: Are you allergic to anything?
nothing important
11: What’s your sexuality?
Straight, kinda bi-curious
12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?
None of those lol
13: Are you a cat or dog person?
DOG!!
14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson?
VAMPIREEEEE
15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber?
GAME GRUMPS owo
16: How tall are you?
5 ft... D:
17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?
Probably Lucille
18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]
LOOOL no thanks;;;;
19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits?
No
20: Do you like space or the ocean more?
I think both of them are good.. i dunno
21: Are you religious?
nah
22: Pet peeves?
People who are whistling while near me, loud people etc
23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]?
Opposite of nocturnal...
24: Favorite constellation?
None
25: Favorite star?
None
26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls?
i guess it would depend on the doll.. i have some La La Loopsy dolls
27: Any phobias or fears?
Spiders, dolls coming to life lmao
28: Do you think global warming is real?
Yeah
29: Do you believe in reincarnation?
If I saw yes do i come back as something cool
30: Favorite movie?
Uhhh....Mulan!
31: Do you get scared easily?
Hell yeah im a wuss
32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime?
1. His name was Snickers!! He was a doxen~
33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.]
I think its cool
34: What is a color that calms you?
Never thought about it. Wouldn’t know
35: Where would you like to travel and/or live?
Californiaaaaaaa take meeee
36: Where were you born?
In a hospital, in the states.
37: What is your eye color?
Blue
38: Introvert or extrovert?
Introvert
39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs?
No, but I love to read them
40: Hugs or kisses?
I need both
41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now?
My crush lol
42: Who is someone you love deeply?
my mom and grandma
43: Any piercings you want?
no44: Do you like tattoos and piercings?
on other people
45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so?
nope
46: Talk about your crush, if you have one!
Ahhh He’s really great. He’s very nice, and creative, and he has a lot of fun ideas! :D He doesn’t like me, but we’re friends!
@continuedabstraction
47: What is a sound you really hate?
Running water.
48: A sound you really love?
the violin 
49: Can you do a backflip?
no
50: Can you do the splits?
nope.
51: Favorite actor and/or actress?
I don’t know if I have a favorite per say
52: Favorite movie?
Was I not already asked this?
53: How are you feeling right now?
just kinda meh
54: What color would you like your hair to be right now?
BLUEEE, god i wanna dye my hair again
55: When did you feel happiest?
Being accepted into college
56: Something that calms you down?
warm water
57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]
ADD
58: What does your URL mean?
its the first letter of  all of my Disgaea characters together.
Sakar, Ri, Celick, Pamille, Chi, Sahana, Oni, Harry, Ambereve.
59: What three words describe you the most?
Tired, sarcastic, and DOG
60: Do you believe in evolution?
sure
61: What makes you unfollow a blog?
Porn bots lmao
62: What makes you follow a blog?
same interests!
63: Favorite kind of person:
A chill friend~
64: Favorite animal(s):
FOX !!!!!! 
65: Name three of your favorite blogs.
shit bro
@vanitasaurus @yotniinam and @funhousefreak
66: Favorite emoticon:
Probably the eye emoji lmao
67: Favorite meme:
Tumblr media
68: What is your MBTI personality type?
Uh.. ?
69: What is your star sign?
??????
70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog?
nope!!! but he was so cute!!
71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most?
Lately a dress to lounge around in
72: Post a selfie or two?
Tumblr media
73: Do you have platform shoes?
I have a pair of 6 inch heels, does that count?
74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself?
75: Can you do a front flip?
lmfao god no
76: Do you like birds?
nope, nature sucksss
77: Do you like to swim?
yeah!
78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you?
gotta say swim, I cant skate
79: Something you wish didn’t exist:
Donald Trump : )
80: Some thing you wish did exist:
World Peace
81: Piercings you have?
none
82: Something you really enjoy doing:
Watching Game Grumps! Doing it now
83: Favorite person to talk to:
probably @xiulric
84: What was your first impression of Tumblr?
Wow everyone is a super great artist except me 
85: How many followers do you have?
320
86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes?
Why are all of these questions about athletic.. lol no 
87: Do your socks always match?
not always but I try
88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely?
yep
89: What are your birthstones?
Garnet!
Tumblr media
90: If you were an animal, which one would you be?
Fox 
91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be?
oooh A rose! A red rose
92: A store you hate?
Forever 21... I can never find anything I like..
93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day?
None, coffee is disgusting
94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?
READ MINDS, I WANNA KNOW WHAT EVERYONE THINKS OF ME
95: Do you like to wear camo?
no
96: Winter or summer?
Summer!
97: How long can you hold your breath for?
not long lol
98: Least favorite person?
oh there are too many
99: Someone you look up to:
Cartoon creators!! SOMEDAY!!!!!
100: A store you love?
Hot Topic~
101: Favorite type of shoes
something comfy!
102: Where do you live?
Canada
103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why?
nope, i love steak
104: What is your favorite mineral or gem?
Tumblr media
105: Do you drink milk?
No..
106: Do you like bugs?
Ew NO
107: Do you like spiders?
eEW nOO
108: Something you get paranoid about?
Dying
109: Can you draw:
Fuck yeah
110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked?
Can’t think of any..
111: A question you hate being asked?
ANNE WHEN ARE YOU GONNA GET A BOYFRIEND, BITCH SHUT UP IM TRYing
112: Ever been bitten by a spider?
nope
113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach?
Its ok
114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?
Sunny!!
115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now:
@continuedabstraction ahh i need a cuddle pal
116: Favorite cloud type:
all?? Theyre all good!
117: What color do you wish the sky was?
I wish it was blue rn, its cloudy and gonna rain..
118: Do you have freckles?
no..
119: Favorite thing about a person:
Me! My smile
120: Fruits or vegetables?
Fruit~
121: Something you want to do right now:
see my friends
122: Is the ocean or sky prettier?
Sky!
123: Sweet or sour foods?
Sweet~
124: Bright or dim lights?
bright
125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature?
No..
126: Something you hate about Tumblr:
cant think of anything right now..
127: Something you love about Tumblr:
my followers~
128: What do you think about the least?
the what???
129: What would you want written on your tombstone?
Something funny, like “brb busy painting the clouds”
130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now?
oooHHh some fucking bitch ass antis
131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?
You can have one, not the other lol
132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?
yep!
133: Computer or TV?
Computer!
134: Do you like roller coasters?
GOD NO
135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness?
None
136: Are your ears lobed or attached?
Uhhh... ?? I dont know...
137: Do you believe in karma?
yeah
138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are?
hgdhejgj maybe a 4 or 5
139: What nicknames do you have/have had?
Annie, Annie bananie, Eeyore ... i hate nicknames
140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?
no but i used to pretend that i was a princess
141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?
Yep, When I was on some medication, I had to be.
142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?
I try to be a good influence
143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?
GIVE ME THOSE GIFTSSSS
144: What makes you angry
TOO MANY THINGS. Snobs, People hurting my friends, bullying, etc
145: How many languages do you speak fluently?
None
146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries?
Guys
147: Are you androgynous?
nah
148: Favorite physical thing about yourself:
My boobs count, right?
149: Favorite thing about your personality:
Im caring, but in a very aggressive way
150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person.
@vanitasaurus @continuedabstraction and @yotniinam
151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?
Shit uh.. I have to go back in time??? Nowhere...
152: Do you like BuzzFeed?
sure?
153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.]
NA
154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?
no
155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?
No. Dont play with mine either
156: What embarrasses you?
Myself tbh
157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:
Being with my friends
158: Biggest lie you have ever told:
That i needed to go to the hospital when i didnt
159: How many people are you following?
327
160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)?
far too many
161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)?
none
162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)?
dunno
163: Last time you cried and why:
Cant remember..
164: Do you have long or short hair?
short to others, long to me
165: Longest your hair has ever been:
past my shoulders
166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon?
People get way too into it and try to force their beliefs on you
167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created?
No.
168: Do you like to wear makeup?
Yeah sometimes
169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds?
nope170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully?
yeah
0 notes
viralhottopics · 8 years ago
Text
Baltimore mother seeks justice years after son was killed by police
Years before Black Lives Matter, cases like Kevin Coopers vanished into obscurity now theres hope for police reform, if it can survive the Trump administration
Greta Carter-Willis has spent a lot of time praying, crying and thinking at the threshold between the kitchen and dining room of her south-west Baltimore home.
It was at that spot, nearly eleven years ago that a Baltimore City police officer, barely a year out of the academy, shot and killed her 14-year-old son Kevin Cooper.
His body was laying right there, she said, gesturing. We can make little changes, paint, take the carpet up, but it still remains the same. I have to live with that mental vision in my mind all my life This is my home, I cant just up and move.
It was the sense of pain and injustice around that incident that brought Carter-Willis to the Baltimore federal courthouse on Thursday, to speak in favor of the agreement negotiated between the city, its police force, and the Department of Justice in the wake of the Freddie Gray case. The future of the agreement to reform the citys policing, known as a consent decree, was thrown into uncertainty Monday after attorney general Jeff Sessions released a memo asking to halt its implementation against the wishes of the city mayor, police commissioner and general public.
Despite a cold, driving rain, dozens of residents lined up for their three minutes to address the federal judge in the case and implore him not to delay the agreement, as the Trump administration requested earlier this week. Speakers represented faith groups, high school students, non-profits, law-enforcement and like Carter-Willis, mothers of those killed by police. And despite their disparate backgrounds, the overarching position of the city was clear: Justice delayed is justice denied, as more than one speaker quoted from the Rev Dr Martin Luther King Jr.
It was a must that I push my way down to that courthouse and let that federal judge know, please do not hold this consent decree, Carter-Willis told the Guardian. Its too late for my son, but it will help somebody elses child and it will make it better for the next generation and its a right step for this department. Its a right step for this city to have them be accountable to another agency. Because as long as theyre policing themselves, its not gonna get any better.
Late Friday, a federal judge agreed with Carter-Willis and the others who trudged out to throw their weight behind the agreement, tossing out Sessions request for more time. Still, the saga clearly indicates that project of cultivating progressive reform in police departments nationwide no longer has an eager partner in Washington DC.
Kevin Cooper at age 12. Photograph: Greta Carter-Willis
It was just a plastic dustpan
As is the case in many fatal police incidents, it was Carter-Willis herself who called 911 in 2006, hoping for some assistance as her son experienced an emotional disturbance. He had knocked over his TV during an argument, and tossed some clothes out the window. Normal teenager stuff, as Carter-Willis described it.
After a short chat with officers the situation had resolved enough that one of the responding officers left. The second, Roderick Mitter, stayed behind to finish up paperwork when tensions ratcheted back up.
The officer walked past and Kevin was mumbling, Carter-Willis said. The officer asks him what are you saying and he says Im not talking to you so he just kept walking.
As Carter-Willis tells it, the officer began following the teen through different rooms, jawing with the teen as both grew more and more agitated. She recalls asking the officer several times to leave her home.
In the kitchen, as the rankling grew louder, Cooper picked up a plastic dustpan. The kind you get at the 99 cent store, Carter-Willis said.
Her version and the police version begin to diverge here. Carter-Willis says her son was merely holding the dustpan; police say he assaulted the officer with it, breaking it over his head and lunging at him with the jagged plastic.
In either case what happened next is clear. Mitter maced Kevin, deemed it ineffective, drew his gun, and fired. The bullet, which penetrated the teens heart, likely killed him instantly, Carter-Willis would later learn.
From there, the aftermath was predictable. Police held a press conference that day and declared the shooting justified. The officer was not charged with a crime, and has since been promoted to detective. The city offered Carter-Willis a pittance of a settlement in a civil case that her family ultimately lost to the citys well-resourced lawyers. Years before Mike Brown and the rise of Black Lives Matter, cases like this often vanished into obscurity without attracting protests, headlines, national attention or trending hashtags.
They just discarded him like a bag of trash, like his life meant nothing, said Carter-Willis. But his life did mean something. It meant something to me, to the community. He was an uncle, a neighbor, a classmate.
Greta Carter-Wilis in her home at the location where her son, Kevin Cooper, was shot and killed by the Baltimore Police Department in 2006. Photograph: Jamiles Lartey for the Guardian
Grave concerns
Carter-Willis keeps a hatbox in her home jammed with press clippings, important documents and pictures related to her sons case. Among them, the full DOJs 2016 findings on the Baltimore Police Department (BPD).
The report found broadly, a pattern or practice of unconstitutional conduct by city police, characterized by rank racial bias and warrantless targeting of black residents.
When the DoJ report came out, i started crying, Carter-Willis said. I felt vindicated with that report because you had outside ears, you had outside eyes to understand that what [black residents] are saying is really happening.
They werent talking about Kevin, she added, but they were.
In conjunction with that report the Obama DoJ, the city of Baltimore and its police department entered into negotiation for a consent decree, or a joint reform agreement enforceable by a federal judge. Similar agreements had been utilized in other problem departments like Los Angeles, New Orleans and Detroit to achieve reform after systemic use of force or discrimination issues were discovered. That agreement had already been signed by all parties before the Obama DoJ left power and was awaiting a public comment before it would, in all likelihood, have gone into effect later this year.
Enter the Trump Administration. Trump campaigned on a platform opposing virtually any scrutiny of law enforcement, and selected an attorney general in Jeff Sessions who most expected to embrace the same. Earlier this week, Sessions made good on that expectation, filing a memo to the Baltimore court charged with enforcing the consent decree there, asking for a 90-day pause to review and assess the agreement. The DoJ also asked the judge to postpone Thursdays public hearing, a request that was denied, setting the stage for Carter-Willis and nearly 50 other Baltimoreans to weigh in before the court.
John Gore, the head of the civil rights division for the DoJ, had a lonely job Thursday. Of the dozens of speakers, he was the only person to express any interest in slowing down or potentially not following through on the agreement, citing grave concerns.
Those concerns were not shared by Baltimore mayor Catherine Pugh or police commissioner Kevin Davis, both of whom pledged to move ahead with the reforms with or without the DoJ. Both lamented however, that the speed of the roll-out and the public trust would both be hampered without federal involvement.
Paradoxically, Sessions was arguing that the federal government had no place in telling local law enforcement how to reform, and simultaneously, telling the officials in Baltimore that they were wrong about the path they laid out with the Obama administration in negotiating the consent decree. Gores concerns were also not shared by any of the public who showed up to comment. Indeed the handful of voices who didnt support the consent decree at the public hearing did so because they found it not strong enough.
All this paperwork and all this stuff yall doing is just so they can get federal money to keep on doing what they are doing, said Marcella Hill with her voice breaking. Like Carter-Willis, Hills son was shot and killed by BPD. Nothing is going to change the attitude and the personality of [the police] until someone goes to jail.
The many fractures
On Friday, Justice James Bredar approved the agreement over the objections of the Department of Justice. It would be extraordinary for the court to permit one side to unilaterally amend an agreement already jointly reached and signed, the judge wrote. Now it is time to enter the decree and thereby require all involved to get to work on repairing the many fractures so poignantly revealed by the record.
Thats good news for advocates who want to see police reform initiatives struck in the Obama era survive the Trump administration. Many saw the DoJs attempt to wriggle out of the Baltimore consent decree as a trial balloon for trying to back out of older agreements that are already in place with other cities. But in what has become a minor theme of the Trump presidency, its possible, if not likely, that federal judge rulings like Bredars will stymie future attempts in place.
Generally speaking, to modify a consent decree you have to demonstrate that circumstances have changed, so I think a lot of judges are going to be skeptical if DoJ says Weve completed this review and turns out everything is fine in these departments, said Christy Lopez, a former DoJ official during the Obama administration and the leader of the team that produced the departments investigation into the Ferguson Police Department.
It may not be that blatant or easy but what this does signal, is that when monitors come in and say Hey, [the police department] is not there yet or Hey, they need to do this to make this thing work, DoJ is not going to have their back on that. DoJ is not going to be on the side of reform any more. And that can have a tremendous influence, Lopez told the Guardian.
Sessions has claimed that his department remains committed to reform in Baltimore and elsewhere, but the language used in the memo explicitly questions the role of the federal government in that reform, and seems to question the premise that many of the reforms rest on that systemic discrimination is endemic to certain departments.
The misdeeds of individual bad actors should not impugn or undermine the legitimate and honorable work that law enforcement officers and agencies perform in keeping American communities safe, the Sessions memo from Monday reads.
If they want to talk about actions of a few bad apples, then yes, it is clear that some police officers are more likely to use force and much more likely to commit misconduct than others, said Sam Sinyangwe, an activist and data scientist with Campaign Zero. Almost never are they held accountable though. We need to put in place systems and structures that can ensure accountability, and those are the types of things that these consent decrees are trying to produce, and that are now being undermined.
As for Carter-Willis, shes just glad judge Bredar heard her appeal and decided to move ahead. It would restore my trust, she paused, somewhat But im still going to be vigilant. Im still always going to be watching. Im still keeping an eye on them not just for my grandchildren, but for my great-grandchildren.
Read more: http://bit.ly/2or2pYx
from Baltimore mother seeks justice years after son was killed by police
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sherlockedmindblown-blog · 8 years ago
Text
THEFINALPROBLEM
‪Im angry for all those who see things which arent there..So i have to write it this way, 140 letters its not enough..its called FRIENDSHIP,not ur fantasy.. I have gay friends and i love them, I am all for LGBT rights,marriages,adoptions and everything so dont try make me a homophobe..Dont be so feisty and offensive..I am a huge fan of tv shows, i saw more than 200 shows, now i activly watching over 100 through the year, so I am bot specialist, but I have my opinion and kind of huge base to build on, cause i saw a lot..And i am also a shipper, so I get that..But the whole team who make #Sherlock (and they are doing some pretty pretty good and brilliant job) they cant make every shipper happy..And I know the world is trying ti change and be open and welcoming to gay people, and its right that way, cause we are all same...But u have to keep your reason and logic and whole thinking together..At first with your attitude they will didnt care about us and there will be no other season, and maybe for all u showing it would be deserved cause u are ungratefull and mean..Sorry u can ripped ne apart but I stand by my opinion and I will give you arguments why..Maybe some of you will understand..‬ ‪In every show u always find ur favorite, and ur shipping..And sometimes it happens and sometimes dont..I get it that u imagine yourswlf on Sherlocka or John place or imagine them as a dreamy oerfect couple which u want to live someday with someone in ur future..They change a lot and make a SPECTACULAR SHOW from old classic..But u want too much and u see things which are clearly not there..There is line between friendship and love. Of course u or i imagine that we change oyr crush to gay or straight or whatever it doesnt matter..But there is clearly totally different story.Not because creators want to make you mad amd furious and filling internet with these crap and throwing a lots of shit on their brilliant work..‬ ‪U dont not anymore concentrate on story..TRY TO THINK..please just try it with me..‬ ‪If ur wish would be fullfill hiw it would looks like abd what would happen with Sherlock, with show we all love and worship???‬ ‪So imagine it with me: ‬ ‪Theyre on a case, so much intense drama like always, everything we love...And in the middle of that they would be holding hands and showing their love and pride to whole world, in this case to whole London...And they would kiss or cuddle in Sherlock chair, or go on a date or whatever John going out of Sherlocks bedroom making him breakfest in the morning..I get it and I dont blame u that u are shipping this and see u in some way at their place...If I will be honest to u, maybe it will help, I imagine myself worh Sherlock so i dont want him with Mollt, Adler or John, dont care about gender..But I am reasonable intelligent person and I dont excpected this happy end for me( i know Sherlock is not real person, i am not crazy..) and I am totally "in love" (we cam call it in love probably) with Benedict Cumberbatch (I wasnt since the beggining, i actually wondering for two years why is whole world so swoon by him..I didnt saw it..I was so blind and stupid, now i get it maybe too much) but it doesnt change anything about that i love the show and i am very excited for what creators bring us and if they hive us more(please we want moooore) and if they give u ur happy ending Sherlock&John=❤❤❤ The biggest world love..That would totally ruin the whole show. It would become a totally different show which would many of us dont wanna watch, not because we are antigay or homophobic or whatever bullshit u will tell me, but because it would be wrong..They would instead of solving case solving they partership and problems in theirs relationship from why didnt u take out garbage to why did u cheated on me..So it would become a show about gay guys living in London splving specially their relationship because its aleays like that when partners work together..And usually they dont solve cases like that and dont get inti situation nearly close to this...So i u want Sherlock (if it ever will be another season, its in stars, but i believe in creators team that they dont ruin my hopes) to become a cheap like some german romantic movue from Rosamunde Pilcher, when u see those films u know it from first shoot, and u also now the whole story, keep preasure and hating what they done, all this amazing job...‬ ‪I would maybe shipping it two in different tv show, if it would be real...‬ ‪Its not my first rodeo, but in furst case I was sitting quitely and kept my mouth shout and my opinions to myself..‬ ‪But this time I am piss off cause u are all, touch ur conscience whi wrote what and where and hiw rude and disrespectfull to vreators u was, everyone one of u by yourself...Because they deserve so much better from us, our fandom, theyre doing it cause we love it so much. But we habe to be normal and think about whole thing ot only that part and gay happy end u want. It would make a joke from the whole show, because theyre both clearly elsewhere than u want them..John was dating, get married, had a baby, almost had an affair and its not still enough. I can almost hear u all argumenting that he or both of them are hidding it cause it happens in real life..Yeah but not everytime.Sometimes its just two huys become friends and after some time family..Sherlock, u could maybe said that he is little confusing about his sexuality at the start, and theough whole shiw, but its not about he being secretly gay( he is so clever and logic and reasonable that he would know that about himself and he would worked it out like everything, with pure logic) he is dofferent in other way, with his emotions, rudness, always bored by usuall stuff and ordinary life and so much mite thing, which we love so much about him..And he goes through some changes in those four bloody good seasons..He find his only friend in Watson, friend for gid sake, not future lover..He find his soulmate but in dofferent way that all lovesexpassion thing..And it was change him, in nice and goid way. But u all wake up and stop with all that hate pointing to creators and whole team..Ur fir no reason, yes i dont see that as a reason to hate all about finale and bitching and wining about it, because its not like u want it..U should appreciate and love the masterpiece they all made and not by bad and angry and rude AF! ‬ ‪I wastalking about that I saw this before, ta kind of funny because it was with Hannibal, it was also such a brilluant show( i became a huge fan of Mads Mikkelsen so see them together with Benedict in Doctor Strange was kind if my happy moment, omething like u wish with Sherlock and John huge gay love story..U are finding things where theyre not..) and it was same but it was probably a lot smaller fandom than Sherlock has, it was probably why it was cancelled after 3 season, but i also hope they will come back cause theyre some serious talks about it, but its not important now, but there was a characters of Hannibal and Will, it would take sometime to explain whole show but in shortcut Hannibal is psychopathic serial killer who eats people and like to cook them very goid, like high chefs stuffs and Will is nit an usuall detective(am I the only one who sees the simillarity yet?) he has this thing he can imagine in his somekind of mind palace how was those people kill when he us on crime scene..And there are some serious creeepy shit, but the point is that Hannibal becomes somehiw obssesed by Will, but not in the way of love, again, how somebody saw it, but there happen a lots of stuff which lead to weird kid of friendship between two very extraordinary people, like saving lives, and helping to other one, even if theyre are enemies fro the begiininf, and they both have relationship with women, doesnt matter hiw disturb those relationshio are, there was no romantic line between who somebody wanna see..It would also ruin the show, it was about friendship, between two not normal at all person, that fragile thing which start after all what they done to each other or to everybody else.Ther was that beauty, and this is the same case..We love Sherlock and Johns FRIENDSHIP...We dont want to turn it in different show, it wouldnt be like all ur memes and fanfiction story cause if this would happen there will be no base for any of this, u would win and what about us? U feel somehow(dobt get it why and how un this case) discriminated by this, but what about us all? There is always so mamy different opinions and tastes, never can make everyone happy, but theyre the creators and its up to them how its gonna be in the end. If u where on their place U could change it but they have theirs vision and they are creating it using their own fantasy and brilliant minds, all those twists and everything..U can express ur opinion, wish or feelings but doung that through rudness and hatefull comments and tweets and complains to BBC? I think its too much...And u being ungratefull amd dissrespectfull to their hard job...And amazing fantastic results... ‬ ‪They all deserve ours DEEPEST BOWS AND THANKS for taking us to this amazing rollercoaster ride of drama and emotions and hard thinking and deductions..It was quite something..And I dont say it like that, it means something cause I saw so many shows, and I usually watch even those which are nit as fun and i dont enjoy them too much, cause i am trying to give it a chance cause sometimes its worth it. But in case if Sherlock (i was never fanof crimi and i was the type "i dont givea fucj whi did that and why"cause they put detective and "maincharacters" aside in every crimi and i dont like that. Maybe I become wiser😂😂 i do t think so highly about myself😂😂with aging..Or i jist change, my taste change...) it was for the first time when I didnt do anything else then sit and didnt move or even breath at every episode, i didnt go to kitchen and let it play cause every minute and word it can be important, i didnt even scroll through my Iphone cause I am type of person who do t concentrate very good and gets easilly disstracted, and I was completly drown into...‬ ‪Yesterday I was being mad because of the finale cause we are now changing an operator and we are without cable tv, and I have this problem...I live in Czech Republic, so u all whos complaining, u cant imagine what i would give to have that chance to saw it cinema..I was prepar to be mad since 21 at England, at my country is one hoyr difference so its 22..And wait fir somebody uploaded online somewhere( not so nice, but when isnt any other usefull choice) so i couldnt look nowhere to avoid saw just a frame...And it was my imagination of pute torture..Longest two hours..Maybe u will think i am posh or whatever butour czech tv channel called Ct2 airs it at the same time, asi in England(surprise, in other cases we ate here at season 2 meanwhile there is season 6) but they made i with czech dabing..AndI just cant..I love it on english, i waych everything in english cause i hate stupid dabing its just looks like two totally different shows, the voice and the picture...Amd i would not even mention theyre picking very weirdly, with consideration(in their case not consideration would be more accurate) of real voice of those actors...So it would be torture and I would have it all completely ruined. So I was upset but I think I can not do anything, so I have to deal with it(u should do that too by the way). And I go to my best friend house around 20:00 and I was there only with my Iphone complaining about my "cruel fate" and how much I wanna saw it, in the best case now! My friend is untouched by Sherlocks charm ( i was trying to explain during watching it but I failed) and he doesnt completely understand my obssesion, so he looked at my like I am crazy. But even so he was trying to be helpfull and I try Google to find Bbc to watch online, it was second link, it was working but I didnt want to get my hopes up, but it was actually working. It was pure happiness and joy. I was literally sitting on the floor, totally carried away, holding my Iphone in ky hands listening to every word, poor my friend even go try to hold the washingmachine so I could hear that, and even I was a visitor for shit, he let me watch it all, and do t throw me out or kill me, for what I am beyond thankfull to him...And i enjoyed to best finale, another brilliant mind blowing episode and i was like on cloud nine, my emotions all over...Today i was little bit sad because I dont want this to be the end, i want more, and sooner than later...But its not in my powers and I have to hope and even if this was iver really like over over I would never be like u to creators even if it would ve there deccisiin if this is the end. I dobt know if its by the anonymity of the internet or what, and i dont wanna start with thinking about where the world going? But u bullying creators I dont have any other word for this. When I dound out today(yes I am maybe stupid but I assumed qhen I was so swooned and touched and excitedx from this episode, that everybody else defenetly must have been too..) And this is actually the reason why I spend half night by writting thus very long essay because of tv show...But this is about mire than that? its about basic human decency, which u dont have at all..Ur all like we want gueer and gay stuff here and the world is mean and bad and u creators are i dont wanna know how u called them, i feel ashamed by u, cause I dont want they to think the all fandom is bunch of mean hatefull people..Ur doing opposite for what u LGBT stands fir, but I really dobt wanna statt with those things..But u wanna be taken like "normal"(its not the right world, we are all same and what is even "normal" in this world...but i think u get how I mean it) but specially by this u putting yourselfs in special group whose calling for special treatment and its angry because its not what happened, and its offensive and discriminated to your LGBT rights...Dibt u see that this doesnt make sense cause it goes against each other....And because of this u make this whole ugly situation..‬ ‪I know u will have million and one things to said to me, to offended me or whatever but actually I am grown enough to take it and make it. I wrote this all just to express my opinion and my admiration to whole team of creators...Because they deserve it.. ‬ ‪So if by any chance this essay of mine gets a hold of eyes someone from whole Sherlock team this end will be for you. ‬ ‪I wanna thank you, so much, for bringing Sherlock to us and give us those amazing moments, and so brilliant tv show that there is hardly a rival somewhere. And I know that its not job of one, but whole team, so I bow to all of you, with hope in my heart that there will be more. I have to admmited that I was never so swallowed up by tv show, to do things like that. But this time I just have to. ‬ ‪To Mark Gattis and Steven Moffat as writters I truly envy their clever minds to get it here. Someone says that its out of line or reality or whatever someone didnt get gay finale, but I think that those two know very well what their are doing and they made it perfectly...So this is my thanks for entertain me...‬ ‪And in the end I have to, all actors are brilliant Martin is awesome (i didt saw Hobbit, so I keep thinking where did i saw him before and in the end i found out and laugh to myself, but I will make it right and watch all three espisodes very soon, i promise..) and i love this chemistry(friends) between John and Sherlock, because when I will be honest I would be like John...Little bit..Even if I would rather be Sherlock of course, i an realistic..And i love Martins looks on his face, those faces he makes, and I admire John for his strong friendship after all Sherlock did to him, even not on purpose..And Martin makes it so real and so good, he is good at his job.. ‬ ‪I am actually one of those who dont miss Moriarty, cause it would became boring if behind everything would be everytime only him..I think he is alive during TheFinalProblem because those subbtitles with time period was little late...And I was in shock but also I was like hell no..But that twist save it very well..And Andrew makes him very cool evilish devilish maniac, so I kind of like him after all..His tick tock on that red video drived me crazy, and I wasnt even there with Euros. Sian Brooke amazed me, she was terryfying, crazy but in the end I was sorry for her...She nailed it..And Mark as Mycrofr when he offers himself insteqd of John, and all was pure perfection together..Nithing was missing, badass Mr.Hudson, and i love just love that Sherlock feels something...And there I am going to the end, I save the best for last. Cause I dont if I dont let myself little carried away... ‬ ‪Because what makes Sherlock Sherlock its huge talent and gift from God and thats Benedict Cumberbatch. I am not any profesional and I just saying what I think but he is the best actor who walks on Earth right now...I did some reaserch today and i cant help myself but he is amazing even when you just listen to his voice reading a poem or audiobook, he has something special and perfect. I bow infront of him, so deep how I could, and that woukdbr be enough, cause he will achive great things, and I am very glad that he didnt go to law school, cause hidding this talent in court room would be such a waste. I really admire all of his work, and I have to say it I just love him..Its not other possibility. And other word wouldnt catch it like saying this love stuff. But we all know how it is, dont we? I am fangirling!!! Very much and I enjoying doing it. But I give myself goal and also fullfill dream if its happen that I wanna go to London to Sherlocked Event and meet him in real, say something nice( I will maybe figure it out till October) and take a pic..I would be very nervous, very, I am nervous from imagine it, making all thise script in my head what I will mess up. But we will see if I make it. And if i will I will thank him in person fir Sherlock and everything else.. ‬ ‪And thats all...And IT IS WHAT IT IS...‬ ‪ Sherlock ‬
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