#caryl therapy

[celtic-crossbow]

•••I do not actively take requests. I love all of your ideas. I just sometimes can't do them justice.•••

[x Reader One-Shots & Drabbles]

[x Caryl One-Shots & Drabbles]

[Werewolf AU]

[Headcanons]

[Incorrect Quotes]

[Series]

[Events]

[x Reader One-Shots & Drabbles]

[x Reader One-Shots & Drabbles]

[x Reader One-Shots & Drabbles]

[Currently writing]

Semi-Hiatus (Writing/Updating different things when time is available)

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Blood Ties Chapter 29

Random Caryl One-Shots

Marchweres

The Dixon Chronicles 21

Our Fate Engraved Chapter 1

Various One-Shots/Drabbles - All Characters

You can call me Murda

I’m older than 20, younger than 50

I am a DV and SA survivor

I use writing as an outlet and genuinely love it but sometimes it makes me want to rip my hair out

I have PTSD, severe anxiety disorder, severe depressive disorder, bipolar 2 disorder, phobia disorder

I am socially awkward

I am vertically challenged

I absolutely adore Norman Reedus

Daryl Dixon is my comfort character

Caryl is my OTP

My best friend is a three-legged Boxer

My soulmate is a 35lb pit bull mix

I am a notorious people pleaser

I want to make millions of friends and be terrified to interact with them

I am ridiculously forgetful

I am an unintentional pen thief

Spiders can go back to hell where they belong

I thought pickles grew on trees until my 20’s

I get overwhelmed quite easily

[omg-erika]

Incurable" – When a Word Becomes a Hammer

by Dr.Harald Wiesendanger– Klartext What the mainstream media is hiding Sometimes, a single word is enough to hit someone with the force of a sledgehammer. This includes the medical assessment that a cure is impossible. If one day a doctor told me that my illness was “incurable,” How would I deal with that? Am I stuck in shock? Am I falling mentally into the abyss? Am I giving up? Instead of…

[my-mt-heart]

i love your blog and you're a pilar of the caryl fandom in my eyes but as a friendly reminder: you don't owe anyone anything. people have turned your ask box into a therapy session and i feel like it gets worse every time an episode airs or we get knew news or someone somewhere opens their mouth. if you need to take a break from us/this, i encourage it. much love.

Thank you :) I’m exhausted from all of AMC’s/Gimple’s nonsense, but I don’t mind keeping a discussion going. Not going anywhere yet. Still have the finale to get through and still hanging onto Melissa's words. “Carol has more story to tell.” 

[peletiersdixon]

No body no ceime au?

ohhh, this is my baby. my pet project. my everest. my moby dick. This is my twd ladies in prison fic, wherein all the ladies in twd are in prison together, in a totally non-za world, which is my jam, and they are fucking shit up in the realest way. There's of course a caryl spin, and, to your delight, I am sure, Aaron x Eric content, as well.

and in case this fic never sees the light of day in any other way shape or form, have this little bit from the first chapter for your very own:

“-and take care of mommy while she’s in the jail and let her come home fast because I miss her lots...and help me be good for Uncle Eric and Uncle Aaron, and please let them take me and Gracie to see the fishies tomorrow. Amen.” 

Sophia crawled up onto the bottom bunk of the brand new bunk beds that Aaron and Eric had purchased for the girls shortly after gaining guardianship of Sophia. Eric tucked the soft, cotton, waffle weave blanket around the little girl, and gave her a kiss on the forehead. 

“‘Night, Sophia. Sweet dreams.”

“G’night, Uncle Eric.” 

He peeked up at the top bunk to see that Gracie had already drifted off to sleep during Sophia’s lengthy night prayers. He tucked her blanket in closer and whispered the same ritual goodnight to his little girl, even though he knew there’d be no response. 

“‘Night, Gracie. Sweet dreams.” 

Eric checked that the night light was on and flipped off the light switch, pulling the door but leaving it slightly ajar as he turned down the hallway to the living room where Aaron was typing away on his laptop. 

He sat down next to Aaron on the couch, and leaned his head back on the cushion, sighing a deep sigh of relaxation after the busy day they’d put in. 

“Whatcha doin’?” 

“Researching counseling and therapy for children and cross checking covered doctors with our insurance.” Aaron mumbled as he rubbed his hand across his forehead. “There’s so much red tape and paperwork. I want to get Soph in to see someone as quickly as possible, but the way this looks, we might have to wait for her state insurance to kick in.” 

Eric opened his eyes and peered over at Aaron. “Well, can we pay out of pocket until then?” 

“We might have to. I don’t want to wait. It’s been too long already, and I mean, she’s holding up well considering, but we promised Carol we’d take care of her and I just want us to do all we can for her.” 

“I know, babe. We will. We are.” Eric patted Aaron on his knee. “We have money set aside in our savings. We can just dip into that for the time being.”

Aaron closed the laptop and set it on the coffee table before leaning back into Eric’s side, and closing his eyes as well. 

“Did you get Grace’s tickets for the aquarium?”

Eric rifled his hand through his pockets and pulled out a thin brochure. “Better-“

“Tell me you didn’t-“

“-I got the birthday package.”

Aaron shook his head, a rueful smirk upon his face. “You can’t help yourself, can you? There’s going to be no living with her when she’s older.”

“A girl only turns seven once. A dad has a right to spoil her,” Eric said, a touch of defensiveness in his voice. 

“I know, I know.” Aaron stood up from the couch, knees popping as he stretched. “C’mon. We better get some sleep if we’re going to be supervising a gaggle of six and seven year olds through the Stingray Hideaway tomorrow.” 

“You reminded Daryl, didn’t you?” Eric asked, as he trailed Aaron towards the bedroom. 

“Yep. He already bought Gracie’s bike, and a cute helmet to go with it. He’s going to give it to her when we get back tomorrow. Which reminds me: don’t let me forget to pick up some knee and elbow pads tomorrow.” Aaron replied, stripping off his clothes and pulling his sleep pants and a tee shirt out of his dresser. “He’s such a good godfather to her. Which is something I never thought I would say, but here we are.” 

Eric grinned. “I hate to say I told you so, but...I told you so.” 

[kynaswhereabouts]

Breastfeeding Bicolanas and JCI Naguena spearheaded Bicol Latch Na 2023 to promote, support and empower the breastfeeding community

Written by: Kyna de Castro

With the theme, “Nanay, Ika’y Sapat”, the Bicol Latch Na 2023 transpired last April 15, 2023 at 3rd Level Activity Center of Robinsons Place Naga, Naga City. In celebration to promote and support the breastfeeding community, the Breastfeeding Bicolanas (BFB), in partnership with JCI Naguena and Robinsons Mall Naga, conducted the Bicol Latch Na 2023 in participation of The Global Big Latch On where people gather together to breastfeed, offer peer support to each other and to empower the breastfeeding or lactating mothers.

The Bicol Latch Na adopted The Big Latch On which is being done simultaneously worldwide among 42 countries. This is not just being done in the Philippines. For the past years, it is being done in all the regions in the Philippines every August. This year, it was conducted on April. This is the first time again that The Big Latch On launched this kind of gathering again after the pandemic.

Around 23 dyads of mother and baby/toddler attended and participated in the simultaneous latching or breastfeeding exercise during the “Sabayang Hakab” which is the main highlight of the event. Moreover, this event advocates in normalizing breastfeeding in public place as well as educating and raising awareness that breastfeeding is something that mothers should not to be ashamed of.

There are three registered host in the Philippines in conducting such event and according to Ms. Marife Dia, founder of Breastfeeding Bicolanas, “We are proud that Breastfeeding Bicolanas is one of those. We are conducting this to let every breastfeeding mother know that they are not alone. They have the drive to keep going and get support. There is a network for them because it is not simple being a mother. You need all the support and strength you can get. Every mom should be looked up as a Wonder Woman for their dedication and strength especially those mothers who just gave birth. We should really be providing support to them and be taking good care of them.”

Ms. Kristina Daquioag, Operations Manager of Robinsons Naga and Ms. Caryl Chiu, Proprietress of Lokwan Dimsum shared about their breastfeeding journey to the attendees of the event. Furthermore, Ms. Marife Dia, founder of Breastfeeding Bicolanas, Ms. Renelyn Imperial from Department of Education (DepED), and Dr. Laddale Sy, a pediatrician and lactation specialist, shared their knowledge and experience to educate the breastfeeding mothers, expectant mothers, and first-time moms on the benefits of breastfeeding, the importance of mental health or psychosocial needs for mothers and strengthening the awareness as well as knowledge of the local community of their relevant role in providing support to establish a mother-baby friendly community. Thus, advocate the importance of exclusive breastfeeding to infants to help lessen malnutrition among infants.  

“It is not enough that you are tied up to just being a mom. Being a mother is a hard work. But if it is all hard work and no play, then they’ll end getting worn out and really tired. Mothers also need an outlet for them to grow and learn, to network and socialize. This is it. Breastfeeding Bicolanas and Bicol Latch Na is that event giving them the support they needed.” Ms. Marife also shared.

Among the main topics discussed included a focus on the mental health of mothers. After giving birth, some mothers would go through postpartum depression and anxiety which also affects the well being of mothers and their capability in producing milk for their baby. Consultations on proper breastfeeding also plays an integral role in improving the nutrition of the children. In addition, there were discussions on retail therapy for moms, tips on how to de-stress, best way to respond to body-shaming comments and self-care tips. A panel Question and Answer Forum was also conducted to address and answer some of the questions of the mothers in the audience about breastfeeding and share some of their experiences and challenges in their breastfeeding journey.

Ms. Rose Lara of JCI Naguena also shared that, “We chose this to be our project in JCI because we have mothers in our batch and because someone from our members also suggested it. When holding such events, we knew it is hard to reach out to mothers as they don’t know who can watch the kids for them so we came up with setting up play and art area for kids for this event with the help of Mary Bree Montessori who also provided their services in putting up a sensory and education play.”

In holding such events, the organizers already thought of mothers who can’t seem to attend because no one will be watching their kids. With this, JCI Naguena together with Mary Bree Montessori Inc, LOTZ of LAV, HeArt Co and Phi&Piks helped in setting a recreational sensory activity area such as sensory play, practical life play and other art activities for the kids to keep them entertained as mothers attend the event. Also, instead of keeping kids entertained through gadgets, the event gave them an educational atmosphere where they can learn and play at the same time. This also gave the mothers the opportunity to focus on listening during the discussions and lectures without worrying where to leave their kids or who will be watching them while at the event.

“Breastfeeding is economical and a form of bonding with baby. The Breastfeeding Bicolanas is already a community that is offering support group to mothers because no mothers should be left alone. Being a mother is 24/7 responsibility especially to your children. There’ll be times that you’ll feel alone especially if you didn’t get any support from family and friends. There are mothers who are going through different things. We know that there are single mothers, mothers whose husbands are working overseas. There are different family set up these days. We need to reach out to all mothers because they need to realize that they are not alone. The more they hide what they truly feel, it leads to more stress and this escalates to postpartum blues and eventually escalates to depression.” Ms. Rose added.

 The Bicol Latch Na event revolves its theme on mothers being “enough”. Never put a self-doubt in a mom. Through this event, the organizers were able to reach out and provide the support in assuring mothers of their worth as breastfeeding mothers and that their breast milk is enough as well as their unconditional love for their children will always be enough to nourish and nurture their family.

The Bicol Latch Na event of Breastfeeding Bicolanas and JCI Naguena are just among the many programs and events being implemented to bring a positive social impact to the local community.

[northamptoncouplestherapy]

You Found Out Your Partner is Having an Affair—Now What?

Discovering an affair can be a painful and confusing experience. Discovering amid a global pandemic can be even worse. And if you’ve been cheated on before, it can trigger an emotional response characteristic of PTSD.

You probably want to run for the exit, but don’t leave the relationship just yet. In many cases couples can recover from an affair, and even come out stronger on the other side. At NCCT, we’ve helped over 1,000 couples over the last 10 years navigate turbulent waters. There is hope if both partners are willing to put in the work.

Before deciding how to move forward in your relationship, however, it can be helpful to understand what cheating is and why people cheat.

What is considered cheating?

There are different types of cheating, some more hurtful than others. Yes, sleeping with someone outside the relationship (without permission) is cheating, but so is the private, ongoing flirty text conversation with a coworker. Emotional affairs are affairs, too.

These days, thanks to technology, people don’t even need to meet up to cheat. More Americans are having “virtual affairs” during quarantine, according to an article published by the University of Tennessee Knoxville psychologists Kristina Coop Gordon and Erica A. Mitchell. The stress of COVID-19 is putting a strain on relationships. Instead of turning toward their partners, people are either turning to dating apps to pursue secret relationships or social media to rekindle old ones. Researchers at the Kinsey Institute surveyed 1,000 married people between 30 and 50 years old and found in their preliminary results that 13% have contacted an ex-partner during the pandemic.

Ultimately, cheating is defined by secret-keeping. If a partner doesn’t know about it, then it’s a betrayal of their trust. As a general rule, people should ask themselves, “Would I say this or do this in front of my partner?” If the answer is no, then a boundary is probably being crossed.

Why do people cheat?

There are different philosophies in the field of couples therapy about why people cheat. Two of the most popular come from John Gottman and Esther Perel.

Gottman believes in symptom theory, which means cheating is a symptom of the relationship. In essence, people cheat because they’re lonely. The process begins when people start to make what Caryl Rusbult calls “negative comparisons” about their partner with other people, whether real or imagined. They think to themselves, “I could do better.”

He references the work of Shirley Glass, who found that most affairs are not caused by lust and didn’t start off with the plan of having an affair. 82% of the people she studied who had affairs started out being social acquaintances, neighbors, or workplace colleagues with their future affair partners. These “affairs of the heart” are characterized by secrecy, emotional intimacy, and sexual chemistry.

Perel, on the other hand, believes a crisis of identity causes affairs. Instead of cheating because they’re lonely, people cheat to find themselves. They’re not looking for another person, they’re looking for another self. A good relationship is no guarantee against infidelity, in her opinion. Otherwise, how do we explain why people in happy relationships cheat? You can watch her TED Talk on the subject here.

Where do you go from here?

With the divorce rate around 50% for first-time marriages, many of us are going to have more than one long term relationship or marriage in our lifetime. So while the first relationship is over in the aftermath of an affair, a second one can be built with the same person.

At NCCT, our approach to affair recovery is rooted in grief, particularly to help couples grieve the loss of the relationship they had. There’s no going back. The question then is whether they’re going to forgive, which is inspired by Desmond Tutu’s teachings in The Book of Forgiving. We focus on sitting with grief because often couples want to move past it quickly, when in reality, it’s a process that takes time to heal from.

For the initiator of the betrayal, we emphasize the importance of tolerating and staying with their partner’s grieving process. In his audiobook Relationship Rx, Stan Tatkin says the person who had the affair has to be prepared to be both the hero and the villain. They’re the hero because they get to make it better. They get to sign up for showing up and being there for their partner, which is an odd role to be in because simultaneously, they’re the one who inflicted the wound. For the initiator, the work is around guilt, and the appropriate response is to make amends and be accountable.

In addition to working with grief, we also help couples form a new narrative that has a deeper understanding of how the affair occurred so that it doesn’t happen again. This is particularly relevant for the initiator because frequently, there’s a pattern of conflict avoidance and not being forthcoming that occurs before an affair.

We support Stan Tatkin’s idea that all couples benefit from creating a shared contract, which outlines the basic rules to govern a relationship. He advocates for keeping each principle short and sweet, and that couples emphasize mutuality. In the aftermath of infidelity, couples need to talk about what they want their contract to be around fidelity. What is considered a betrayal? And what’s the penalty if it happens again?

As the 17th-century samurai and poet Mizuta Masahide once wrote, “Barn’s burnt down, now I can see the moon.” We can help you see the path forward. We’re offering online couples therapy intensives during COVID-19 as an alternative to weekly couples therapy sessions. It’s the equivalent of three months worth of weekly therapy concentrated into just a few days. An online intensive is hard work, and it can feel scary, but it’s worth the investment and can get your relationship back on track.

Like what you’ve read here? Sign up to receive our weekly posts filled with heart, concrete tools, and cutting edge resources via our blog: Loving Well.

[haircoveredwriter]

Thinking things over after watching the new trailer and I gotta say, things are looking good. Carol and Daryl are both in the Commonwealth and from as far as I can see, they're out kicking ass in some blood bathed shell of a building to get some much needed walker kill therapy. We've got confirmed tracking of our 2 babes filming together multiple times these 8 eps, including an adventure with Mercer into the wild hills of Georgia where plotting their rise against the machine is undoubtedly happening.

I mean, Carol is playing secret agent while baking cookies and sleuthing into wine cellars while her bae infultrates the organization from the inside - stormtrooper style. They're already planning on kicking ass and taking names of people who aren't really that important because Caryl is taking over.

Us not seeing it in the trailer now is not surprising if you look at how Kang planned out the story ... not something you want to spoil in 2 minutes.

My zen is at level jedi master as it's always been. Anyone want to join me? Feel like popping some popcorn in the microwave because this is gonna be good.

[misswondersusaan]

My fanfics about caryl :

Hello! Yesterday I finished one of my fictions about Caryl (set in the wonderful season 10, before the chapter of the "tragedy of Le*h").

Here I leave it in case you want to take a look:

(It's in Spanish)

I also leave you with another, still in progress, but set outside the apocalypse; with the story of Carol and Daryl with thirty years. In this fic they meet in a group therapy. The next chapter I will try to upload in the coming weeks. Here I leave the link:

(It's in Spanish too)

For these almost eleven years, I have been writing about them on wattpad (without losing the illusion that one day they will end up together).

So if you want to read about this wonderful couple, here I leave you my small contribution to the boat (contribution that is not very big, but full of affection).

A huge hug! And don't lose hope!

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[silversundown2]

Have you ever heard of cuddle therapy?

It’s a real thing apparently.

Regardless of the name-it totally made me think of caryl.

Wouldn’t that be a good foundation for a plot to a caryl fic?

I have heard of that! If anyone needs to make up for a lifetime of being snuggle deprived, it's those two. I try to make them cuddle much as I can in my fics even when they fight me on it but don't tempt me to write to a whole story around it...

[celtic-crossbow]

I just can’t with these two. This is so cute. 💙

[waynedunlaptheorgandonor]

can you please give some reasons why you don’t think Caryl is done after this? Don’t see how it can happen now unfortunately.

not to invalidate your feelings, but are we even watching the same show, my dude?? 

there has never, in ten years, one decade, 87,600 hours, been a more caryl heavy season of twd

i’ve done several in-depth analysis posts, and i gotta get to bed soon, so here are the highlights just to ease your silly lil’ mind (under the cut bc it ended up being a stream-of-conscious novel):

first and foremost, we have a new showrunner, who is a woman, which is always a plus for our female characters bc we have someone who will make sure they’re three-dimensional people, and that was a big problem with caryl for a while. gimple put carol into a “i was abused but i got strong but now i’m sad bc i killed ppl :(((” corner and let her collect dust, and tbf, he also put daryl in the “i was abused but i got strong but now i must wallow in my Man Pain in silence” corner, and then he kind of just forgot about how they had an amazing chemistry and focused more on his three season-long dick jerking contest between Rapey Man #3 and Main Lead Male Grappling With Loss and Morality. so that helps us out a lot!

now in terms of the actual show, i’m just gonna like, list things without giving analysis or clarifying bc i’m tired and have already explained a lot of it, but if you need me to explain again you can just message me and i’ll answer it when i’m awake:

caryl’s storyline has been set up to sail since the start of s9

carol and zeke were always going to breakup, and she only married him for henry and escapism bc she’s never dealt with any of her trauma ever in her entire life and there is a lot of it

the title cards indicated as such

carol’s wardrobe change between the time jump in s9, and between “the calm before” and “the storm” indicated as such

carol’s wardrobe this season also indicates where her mindset is rn

kang is rewriting carol’s storyline, and in effect, rewriting caryl’s storyline, in order to right the wrongs done before, and that’s why it’s taking so long, bc she wants to tell it properly instead of just having them smash in the middle of a field with no build-up

not that we’d be against it, but i personally prefer it this way

carol trusts daryl as a father figure more than zeke. see: her asking him to watch over henry bc zeke is too idealistic, and “so what if i dream about you being my husband and henry’s dad sometimes? shut up”

carol went to visit daryl in the woods to escape her marriage that she didn’t actually want to be in anyway

carol got daryl to stop isolating himself

daryl then proceeded to do all his therapy homework and has settled down and is like “cool, time to finally get with carol!”

except kang is telling carol’s storyline properly

which means that carol is in CrazyTown rn, bc she has 1. been in an abusive marriage 2. seen her daughter walk out of a barn as a walker and then get shot in the head 3. seen a small girl stand over her dead sister while wielding a bloody knife and smiling like a maniac 3b. after having promised her late father she’d protect her 4. had to shoot said maniac girl in the head 4b. after having promised her late father she’d protect her 5. made a connection with a small boy against all efforts to the contrary and then he got eaten 6. finally saved a child and thought she finally broke her curse and got into a rly boring weird fantasy marriage in order to protect him only to see his reanimated head chilling out on a pike among a line of all of her dead friends

AND SHE REALLY NEEDS TO DEAL WITH THOSE THINGS, OK?

so she has #cracked and is spiraling, and daryl’s entire storyline this season has been “shit carol is trying to smuggle guns to rendezvous with the enemy,  wait shit lydia is getting beat up let me help her, wait shit carol is kidnapping whisperers and torturing them in the basement, wait shit lydia ran away, wait shit...” etc

SO HE HAS A REASON TO BE KIND OF TIRED RN 

but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care, it just means that all this tension is leading up to something INTENSE between the two of them. it’s going to come to a head Big Time, and i am v v v hype

anyway back to random things that have been pro-caryl this season

they keep juxtaposing zeke and con with carol and daryl, and caryl pick each other every time

carol’s choice of weapon suddenly being a bow

flower symbolism

boat symbolism

new mexico

acorns and bracelets and their subsequent #meanings

THE FUCKING DREAM WHY ARE WE NOT STILL OBSESSING OVER THAT DREAM THAT DREAM WAS SO IMPORTANT???

she. literally. dreamt. she. was. married. to. daryl. dixon. in. literal. canon. and. stated. it. wasn’t. the. first. time. and. that. she. thinks. the. dreams. are. good. like wtfffff

daryl does not have feelings for con and is very explicit about it

the fact that it keeps coming up is delicious tho

“follow my voice” vs “follow my light”

“i’m the one you talk to”

the repetitive use of we/us

“if i only knew what you told me i wouldn’t know shit”

“i NEED you to stay”

alpha/beta foils and parallels

repetitive reminders of both carol and daryl’s past abuse

did i mention the dream where she dreamt that she was married to daryl bc i feel like that might have been important

carol having sex with zeke

yes that’s a good thing

yes i’m entertained by it and totally chill

we are at the very top of the roller coaster, lads, we are tying up all the strings, we are making sure carol and zeke have closure, we’re gonna get (probably in an irritating murder way) closure with connie, and Then There Were Two

10.14 is called “look at the flowers” for christsake

“i could never hate you” ok fanfic trope number 6 billion

all of it

literally all of it

this has been a crazy romantic, tumultuous season, and some really meticulous and purposeful and beautiful storytelling and it is about to pay tf off

until i am given E X P L I C I T reason not to:

I WILL STAN KANG

and also, just to add, there are characters and plotlines that exist outside of caryl, and the writers have to incorporate all of them. there are gonna be scenes with them, there are gonna be things that happen that seem negative but that make sense when you look at them on a larger scale. you cannot, CANNOT, look at each individual thing and take it at face value. we have a showrunner who knows how to write now, so little things mean bigger things, and not always the things you expect

i know this is not the proper use of bullet points

it is past my bedtime

but anyway caryl is coming ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

stay hype, stan kang, and get daryl to call carol sweetheart 2k20

the end

-diz

p.s. remember that dream? wild huh

[marvellouslymadmim]

1, 6 and 21 :)

1. What was the first fandom you got involved in?

Um, like from an “actually joining the online community” standpoint? Probably Phantom of the Opera.

6.  List your OTP from each fandom you’ve been involved in.

(again, this depends on your definition of “involvement”)

Criminal Minds: Straussi FOR LYFE, but also Hotchniss

Battlestar Galactica: Roslin/Adama

Holby City: (legit I’m just here for Berena) Berena

The Worst Witch: HACKLE FOREVER AND EVAHHHHH

The Walking Dead: Caryl, though I left seasons ago so idk how they’re doing now

SVU: Benson/THERAPY

The Witcher: HORNY GRANDPARENTS FTW (aka Calanthe and Eist)

Downton Abbey: Chelsie and Baxley. Don’t make me choose.

CAOS: Lillith/Zelda

Scott & Bailey: Gill/Julie

The Closer/Major Crimes: Brenda/Sharon

House of Cards: Jane/Cathy

Reign: Catherine/like, anyone, really, bc it works really well

Dr. Who: River/the Doctor

Star Wars: Leia/Amilyn Holdo

(I feel like I’m missing a thousand other ones, but here we are)

21. What was the first fanfic you ever wrote?

Like, ever ever? I saw Atlantis: The Lost Empire just before my 13th birthday, and sapphically obsessed with Helga Sinclair, I went home and wrote out her life before the movie’s starting point, specifically the original expedition to find the journal. I didn’t change canon, I just delved into understanding her as a character and why she’d make such choices. And honestly, that’s generally what I tend to do now. I find grey characters and wiggle around in the mud of the psyche while staying in canon lines.

It never got published, but I still have it somewhere in an old notebook.

[Send me a fanfic ask.]

[my-mt-heart]

I feel (shit WE ALL FEEL) like a massive fuckin fools. Imagine making posts and waiting for questions. Imagine ignoring every fuckin thing about Carol. Imagine not answering VERY fuckn obvious question like WHY Daryl gonna leave Carol when they were showing us for 12 longass years they do not live in peace when they are separated. I'm not even talking about romantic ship. Ok bro leave it and look at it at 2 characters having strong fuckin bond. You gonna leave your best friend? You gonna leave your soulmate? Even if we watch at their relationship as PLATONIC one. Hell you can interpreter their relationship in different ways and look at these from different angles and their separation STILL doesn't make sense. I'm Europe fan, was staying my ass all night till early morning and for this. They don't give a shit about us for sure. Seeing Melissa and Caryl trending and not saying anything at all. I would be ok with all the time Melissa needed but we can get at least some fuckin information. Jesus. The disrespect. I'm sorry friend. My sleep deprived ass is on full frustrated mode. And yeah I want to hug you and all of carylers bc shit we need to be together we all already need therapy like killing eve fans

I’m not trying to invalidate anyone’s feelings, but I don’t think it was ever realistic to expect our questions about Carol/Caryl to be addressed. The only way the issue will ever come up is if the issue is resolved and we can let bygones be bygones. The point of asking the hard-hitting questions right now is to be seen/heard, which can go a long way.

[ikkleosu]

What do you think now in terms of Caryl actually happening? Seems to be looking a WHOLE lot better now!!

I have several asks basically asking the same thing so forgive for just lumping it all together in this answer. Also forgive me, for I am about to ramble.

Let me say that i am so so so certain Caryl is happening.

Now unlike some folks (with music box in their name) I FREELY admit that despite the fact I am ALWAYS RIGHT, sometimes I have been totally wrong.

I was totally sure Caryl was happening in season 5, and I was totally sure it was happening in the run up so season 8. Obviously I was wrong on both counts.

The rest of the time I was mostly speculating how it could happen if they were to do it at that point.

Now I have always (well since season 5) believe Caryl would happen eventually. Even when I stopped watching in s8/9 I still believed it would happen eventually. But by then I thought Carzekiel was a real, genuine ship, and Caryl would only happen as a last ditch attempt to save ratings - 3 show runners down the line!

And then the spoilers for 8x16 came out and my ears pricked up. Carol was leaving Zeke, and Daryl was implicated in the divorce! (LOL) Suddenly things got really interesting, but I still wasn't sure Caryl was on the cards in the immediate future.

Once the movie was announced I was fairly settled that Caryl would only happen in the movie, as a ratings grabber (because as much as I love Andrew Licoln, he isn't enough to sell a movie. Walking Dead fans who have walked away would expect a TWD movie to have Rick and Michonne and Daryl and Carol. They just would).

Now up until about a month or so ago I STILL believed that (and part of me does still think actual canon might only happen on the big screen). But what has changed in the last few weeks is that I am certain THIS SEASON is setting up Caryl - either to fully go canon in this season, or to NEARLY go canon, then go canon in the movie.

(By nearly go canon, I mean Daryl and Carol's feelings for each other are made explicit. There are on screen conversations about their feelings. Their reasons for not being together will be detailed, and they will have shippus interuptus a la the Consumed bed moment that stops them from taking the last step)

My mind being changed has happened bit by bit, and a large part of it has been thanks to Norman "threesome with Beth and Carol" Reedus! I KNOW?!

Suddenly his answers on Caryl were mature and interesting. Talking about the complicated nature of their relationship and waxing about aspects of Caryl. Like, who is he?

My assumption was Norman suddenly didn't just get media training. He could answer differently because he knew differently. He had something different to say because something different was happening.

And platonic relationships are rarely "complicated".

A huge part is the quotes I put in my "join the dots" post. The fact that Angela said this season would deal with Daryl's love life, and said she has asked Norman his opinion on how it would go. Then Norman said they have had talks, then explicitly said he has had talks with Angel's and some things he suggested went into ep 1, then he confirmed it was things in the Caryl scenes.

To me, that is definitive proof that the relationship he and AK were talking about was Caryl.

And let me divert and explain here why I got it wrong in the past...

It took me like 6 years to realise that Scott Gimple puts stuff into the show that seems significant but isn't AT ALL. He plants scenes and symbolism and Easter Eggs that amount to fuck all. They are pointless, meaningless stuff he puts in for his seeming own amusement. If he's asked about it, he will say yes I will say that will come up again BUT IT NEVER WILL!

From the jasper stone to Daryl's therapy book to Daryl's sudden deep relationship with every red shirt going - all of it was meaningless drivel. Hey remember the dead bodies with signs on them? Remember the weird deserted camps? Remember the Cherokee walkers? Remember the clocks and flowers and tomatoes and beer bottles and the colour green? MEANINGLESS!

I spent so many hours dissecting and analysing, connecting stories that seemed to fit brilliantly together. And I tend to think I was giving it more thought than Gimple was.

I thought Caryl would happen because things like the water jug flirtation and Consumed and the Dwight parallels and the Cherokee rose on the wall and... you get the point. But none of them meant anything other than Gimple thinking he was clever and throwing carylers random bones to keep us going. Which, to his credit, worked largely.

But I believe Angela Kang. Angela "I wrote Still, the worst written episode ever" Kang is not like that. Doesnt work like, and knows exactly what she's doing.

I dont say that lightly. It is only looking back at s9 with hindsight do I see what she was doing.

She had Carol repeatedly reject Ezekiel's proposal; she had Daryl have a conversation with Aaron about what a good father Daryl would be; she had Carol and Daryl show their connection and Carol show she wanted space from Ezekiel in a scene she wrote notes on saying Daryl was jealous of Zeke; she had Carol change her mind about Zeke only after she saw Daryl lose and go punch happy, whilst Zeke is a caring father to Henry. She made sure Carol never said "I love you" to Zeke on screen. She showed that while Daryl goes into the wild, Carol always knows where he us and lies to her husband to go visit him. She showed that Carol felt that Zeke had enough influence on Henry, and now she wanted Daryl to be the male influence on his life, in an episode filled with romance tropes and a morning after scene that was clearly meant to emulate a morning after scene. And then AK played her first hand - when Henry dies, it is Daryl who Carol seeks. And Zeke sees Daryl as a direct and present danger to his marriage and threatens him off. And then Carol leaves Zeke, and goes back to ASZ with Daryl.

I mean, holy crap! She set it all up so subtly that so many people didn't see it coming. And I still believe there are other parts of s9 that are set up to come into play this season.

And then with each spoiler I began to get more faith. Ep 1 was so much better than I expected, with Daryl taking Carol on a date, making a bracelet (something else I was wrong on. I totally thought that was wishful thinking), and not only being comfortable with the idea of running away together, but when he realised he couldn't do that, telling Carol HE NEEDS HER!

Again this is new ground, Daryl hasn't talked like that.

And then, after all that came the dream spoiler. I loved it, it seemed big, but the people leaking it played it down to ridiculous levels.

They made it seem like it was a throwaway scene, a Gimple-esque nod to the shippers. But as I have said, what actually happened was HUGE. This scene is the entire point of the Carol taking speed pills story (in this ep). It is telling us WHY she is afraid to sleep.

And it confirmed every single thing. The dialogue in the extended version confirms it is a good dream. The ring takes away ANY ambiguity (unless you are a desperate ABCer who has decided to pretend it's Ezekiel's ring, when it visibly, clearly isn't) that Daryl is just a roommate. And the fact the dream is 80/20 Daryl to Henry, shows this dream issue is NOT just about her missing Henry. If it was , the dream could have just featured Henry, or Henry and Zeke. It didn't. It heavily featured Daryl as Carol's dream husband, then followed it up by a scene showing us how utterly she loves and needs him.

I always believed in eventual canon. After Ghosts, I believe canon is on the cards very soon. And that we just saw on screen confirmation that Carol is IN LOVE with Daryl.

Put a fork in me I'm done.

[alexturner]

2019 IN REVIEW

I was tagged by @pedropascals, thank you, Keanu 💕!

I tag @pedropvscal, @amez-santiago, @ryancoogler, @nohomohank.

Top 5 films you watched in 2019:

Whiplash

It: Chapter Two

Parasite

Ford v Ferarri

Knives Out

Top 5 tv shows in 2019:

Barry

Killing Eve

Big Little Lies

Good Girls

Schitt’s Creek

Top 5 albums of 2019:

Wasteland, Baby! by Hozier.

Norman Fucking Rockwell! by Lana Del Rey.

Father of the Bride by Vampire Weekend.

Lover by Taylor Swift.

Doom Days by Bastille.

Top 5 books you read in 2019:

Daisy Jones and the Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid.

De Stad van As by Leander Hanssen and Caryl Strzelecki.

Muder Games by James Patterson.

Now You See Her by James Patterson.

IT by Stephen King.

5 good/positive things that happened to you in 2019:

After 5 years of being in the same music fandom, I wasn’t really getting any positive energy from that anymore. So, I finally went back to my roots, became a film/TV blog again, and it’s been so much fun and has given me so much positive energy and some great new friends on top of it!

My mother, who was diagnosed with breast cancer in late 2018, was declared cancer-free in March.

After a lot of debate with myself - and definitely influenced by how open a certain comedian I like is about anxiety - I decided to finally seek treatment for my issues with anxiety and OCD.

I was offered a permanent position at the speech therapy practice I work at!

At the very end of 2019, I got back into writing, and for the first time in like, 2 years it’s going really well and it’s coming to me very easily, so that’s very exciting!