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#cas just wants to make dean happy
hauntedpearl · 4 months
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thinking thoughts about things and such but I do wonder if cas had, say, an amnesia moment or whatever and dean did dean things which would include kidnapping him and keeping him in an underground bunker etc etc you understand. like if and when cas does come back to himself. i do wonder. if his freaky ass would be so into it that he'd jump dean's bones about this violation of human rights. i do wonder.
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angelsdean · 1 year
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no but actually. looking at gifs from that IG vid again seeing how happy jensen is after they show dean on screen makes ME so happy like !!!! he truly does love dean so much and i get it !! it’s the same joy i feel whenever i see dean too !!! he really was so upset abt dean’s death and we see it every time he has to talk abt it and the whole finale and just. yeah he wants dean to live !!!!! he wants him to LIVE !!!!!!!!
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youchangedmedestiel · 6 months
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I don't know if some of you saw the post calling Destiel shippers the flat earthers of the supernatural fandom.
At first, I felt personally attacked because I have an engineering degree in science, so fuck no I'm not.
Then, I found it kind of funny though, because of how ridiculous it is.
And finally, there is just nothing, NOTHING flat about shipping Destiel, neither Destiel itself. So it's just not possible.
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Anyway, I usually don't want to talk about haters, but I just happen to see some posts like that sometimes against my will and I just don't understand how people would want to post hate on this social, any social actually. Like just go mind your own business and let me mind mine. Let me enjoy what makes me happy.
Just, don't put your hate in my face, keep it to yourself. Your hate is your problem, not mine.
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found--family · 1 month
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cas coming back in any kind of spn reboot is a given, we know this. he'll interact with dean and we might even get dean addressing the confession. and i know jackles will be the driving force behind any reboot but his history with addressing dean's feelings at cons is like a damn yoyo - is2g if dean doesn't reciprocate and destiel doesn't kiss on screen i'm not watching it and it will join the annals of not-canon along with 15x19 and 15x20 and the canon divergence attempt at a fixit that was dean in spnwin. no destiel means spngate 2.0.
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quietwingsinthesky · 6 months
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went into the notes of that poll going around about if people want more seasons of supernatural and was immediately slapped in the face with how different my priorities are in this fandom from. a lot of it. what are you talking about ‘destiel endgame’. girl the show has bigger problems to fix than that if it ever had more seasons. they taught a three year old that the best way to be loved was to continuously try to kill himself and then they made him god.
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gh-0-stcup · 2 months
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Continuing on with my slight fandom throwback theme, I think it's time to properly discuss a delicate topic. One that never fails to fill me with a burning rage, the sting of betrayal, and a tinge of arousal not unlike finding your boyfriend sleeping with another girl in your bed.
It's the big one, folks. Destiel.
(Yes, I realize I'm giving some people war flashbacks already.)
In particular, I'd like to take a moment to file a grievance with a section of the Supernatural fandom. The ones out there who argue confidently (and often rudely) that while Castiel might have been in love with Dean, Dean was not in love with Castiel.
It really amazes me that the Destiel fans are still out here getting gaslit 😆. Now, I missed the last 6 seasons of Supernatural. Something could have drastically changed in their relationship. What I do know is that Dean fell in love with Cas by season 5. And I can't say I got the impression that had changed four seasons later.
Tied into this is the idea that Castiel's confession was a gay man opening up about his long held, unrequited love to his tragically straight friend.
The problem I see with these interpretations is that Castiel's confession forces a context shift for seasons 4-15. All those "jokes" and "fanservice" moments that Destiel truthers were scorned for "taking too seriously"? Well, they've now become completely serious.
Dean and Castiel do share a more profound bond than Sam and Castiel. Castiel is the angel in a dirty trenchcoat who's in love with Dean. Castiel was lost the moment he first laid a hand on Dean in Hell. And all of it is very much meant like that.
They're not silly jokes about how close friends the two are. They're not simply mockery of the fandom. They are serious character moments that can (and should, for narrative consistency) be taken at face value.
And if that is so for Castiel - what does that mean for Dean? If pokes at one character's sexuality is legitimate textual indications of their true feelings, why is this not also true for another?
If we are looking simply at what is written and shown on screen, Dean Winchester is not straight. From at least as far back as season 4, we see Dean flirt with men. We see multiple occasions of Dean being pleasantly flustered by attractive men or men flirting with him.
My perfect example of one of these "joke" scenes is Dean guiding Charlie through flirting with a security guard. You see, Charlie's a lesbian so she can't flirt with him because she's exclusively into girls. But Dean can flirt with him because...he is also exclusively into girls? The math here's not mathing.
Dean Winchester is not straight. He is attracted to men and not particularly comfortable with it.
And he met the same fate as all of Supernatural's beloved queer characters - an untimely, gruesome death that added nothing to his character and made the story worse.
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starsanddragonflies · 9 months
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WHAT
#I just FINISHED supernatural and have about FOURHUNDREDMILLION FEELINGS#WHAT#WHAT WAS THAT IM#I#WHAAT#I thought it ended at like 5 different points and cried SO MUCH????? I didn’t expect to still care so dang much but I guess they still#own a piece of me oh god#spn spoilers#from now maybe idk but I don’t want to spoil anyone and idk if anyone will read the tags but JUST IN CASE#‘Cas helped’ well see that means Cas is in heaven too and that makes this so much easier I was so scared#for a second I thought Dean is in heaven Cas is in the empty and Sam is on Earth but no#now they’re all in heaven and you betcha Cas is hanging out with Dean now aww now it is kinda cute#I got some spoilers (because ofc I did I went on tumblr again without finishing the show I was basically asking for it) but#all I knew going into s15 was ‘Destiel goes canon Cas goes to the empty and Dean dies’ so just thought naturally#that’s exactly how supernatural has always been but I also wasn’t sure if that actually would happen???#and I’ve seen that I love you news meme so gosh darn many times that I didn’t know what to expect but THAT WAS HEART WRENCHING#Finally someone told Dean what he deserves to hear but why not let him keep Cas ugh this is so sad#Feels a bit odd that Sam got a son and named him Dean though like that sounds like it would be more painful than anything but oh well#oh and Jack!! aww I’m so happy about him#I just hope they’re all happy in heaven and I wish I knew more about more characters but tbh#I just want to know that Cas is happy#I was so angry halfway through this episode thinking they murdered Dean and left SAM alive like what#Sam is left on Earth to do his thing and Dean just gets offed????? luckily it ended a lot better than that#my god I need to process this for a long time#oh and now I also want to rewatch the whole show but let’s be real it is 15 seasons I have NO time for that#Anyway I’ll go back to playing Zelda now#I have too many feelings about Spn#it’s time to have feelings about something else and though I have blocked zelda and totk EVERYWHERE to avoid spoilers I am so emotional#but I have lots of feelings about Zelda too oh my god how can I fit so many feelings at once I’m-#help I didn’t know there was a tag limit wth
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loveofastarvingdog · 2 years
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just remembered stomach hair. thank god <3
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insanesonofabitch · 7 months
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I’m not sure if someone else already made a post about this, but I was rewatching Tombstone and something just hit me. Dean wanted to stay alone with Cas a little bit longer in that cowboy hotel room. Sam takes Jack with him and pairs Dean up with Cas, after noticing how happy Dean was to get Cas back (which he even made a comment on earlier in the episode, we love a supportive brother). Dean agrees with this change of plan. Sam and Jack immediately gets up to leave and head for the graveyard. But when Cas is about to get up too and get ready, Dean does this:
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And this is the same fucking goddamn episode where Dean makes Cas wear a fucking cowboy hat. And then gets offended when Cas didn’t immediately recognize his Tombstone reference. “I made you watch it,” not “we.” The same way “where Dean spread your ashes” is NOT “we.” And Dean has probably already seen ALL of those movies, probably a shit ton of times. He just wanted Cas to see them too. With him. Like a movie date night. And then Cas imitates a phrase from the movie, “I’m your huckleberry.” And then Dean, after averting his eyes and closing them and gulping down, says “Yeah, exactly.” immediately followed by “…it’s good to have you back, Cas.”
AND NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT DEAN TOOK A PHOTO OF CAS OFF SCREEN???????? AND THEN PRINTED IT OUT??????????
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crushedbyhyperbole · 2 months
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Whiskey on the Tongue
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Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader
Summary: You are the forbidden fruit Dean had always wanted to taste, and when you steal his whiskey the way you do, he is powerless to resist.
Words: 2.2k
A/N: This is my first ever Supernatural fic after having started watching the show just before Christmas. I know I'm late to the game but is it ever really too late to start loving a fandom? I've tried to make the reader generic in every way other than being cis-female, and Dean finding her hot.
It's been an absolute age since I wrote anything and probably longer since I posted anything here on Tumblr but I'm getting back into it now. Hopefully this finds its way to people in the Supernatural fandom who love a bit of Dean smut.
I hope you enjoy and, as always, I value your comments and feedback.
Warnings: Smut, explicit smut, alcohol consumption, mentions of people who have passed away, profanity as standard with pretty much everything I write.
*** Minors do not read or interact - 18+ content ***
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Dean let his head fall back against the headboard, clenching his fists to try to distract himself from the deep ache in his left leg.  It had been falling asleep for well over an hour now, but he didn’t want to move and disturb you.
The door to his room in the bunker was closed.  Locked, in fact, though he did not remember doing it.  You didn’t comment or so much as move when Sam brayed on the door and tried the handle, calling out for Dean to return his book.  The very book that was in your hands right now.
“I need that book back, Dean.”  Sam grumbled.
“Not now, Sammy!”  Dean called back, hoping his little brother would just go away.
“I’m researching Nephilim to help Cas with the Kelly situation, Dean.  It’s important.”  Sam became more insistent.
“I said NOT NOW, SAM!”  Dean hollered with a kind of finality that even Sam wouldn’t argue with.
Outside the door, Sam huffed and stalked away.  Dean looked down to see you looking up at him from your position, lay on his bed.  Your head was resting on his left calf, his leg bent with his foot tucked under his right knee.  You had your knees up with your foot tapping along to his banging playlist, your jeans tight around your thighs and with your head tilted back he could see all the way down the deep V of your t-shirt.
He was going to hell.  Straight there.  Do not pass go.  Do not collect two hundred dollars.  And he probably deserved it.
He snapped his eyes up towards the ceiling but it was too late, he could feel himself stirring uncomfortably in his jeans.  If Bobby was alive he would have skinned him raw just for having you in his room.  Bobby was always protective of you, his niece.  You were only a couple of years younger than Sam but Bobby had made himself very clear that you were off limits.
“If you touch one single hair on her body, I’ll make you regret the day your balls dropped.  Do you hear me, boy?”
Bobby Singer.  That man did not mince his words.  And to this day, Dean had taken that threat as gospel.  Even now that Bobby was up there with the Angels, that son of a bitch would find a way to keep his word.
You shifted, causing a painful twang to shoot up his leg.  The reflexive grunt he failed to stifle made you look back up at him, giving him that glorious view again.
Dean decided he could die like this.  If having a dead leg was a legitimate threat to his life, he would go out happy with the view of your rack in that lacy black bra he could see within the V-shaped window of that too-tight t-shirt.
He raised his eyes, once again to heaven, asking Bobby to forgive him or give him strength or something because – god help him – he wanted to take you right then and there.
It wasn’t unusual for you to seek him out after a case when you didn’t want to be alone, but you didn’t want to talk.  You would just sit while he drank, reading or working on spells.  You said he quieted the noise in your head.  Hell, he wasn’t going to argue, you were a sight for sore eyes every time he came home.  You were wicked hot and sexy in a non-slutty way.  Not that slutty was bad.  Dean liked slutty.  But that wasn’t you, you were different.
A drink.  That’s what was missing.  Dean needed a damn drink, especially if you were going to torture him by laying on him all evening.
He reached over to his bedside unit, for the bottle he kept in there for special occasions.  A bottle of twenty-five-year-old Speyside single malt that he liberated from the British Men of Letters on his last interaction with Ketch.
The pour made you stir again but it wasn’t until he raised the cut crystal tumbler to his lips did you move.  Your hand came up and claimed the glass from underneath, twisting it as you sat up so as not to spill any.
“Where’s yours?”
The cheeky glint in your eye had him pursing his lips in mild annoyance.
“Don’t pout.”  You lifted the glass, turning it until the mark left by his lips touched yours and you sipped, looking him straight in the eye.
Dean’s jaw went slack.  The glisten of the whiskey on your lips and the satisfied hum you made when you swallowed – he swallowed unconsciously when you did – made his mouth go dry.  He had never seen you like this.
You moved to kneel on the bed and walked your way slowly closer, giving his leg a tap; an instruction to move it aside.  He did, causing pins and needles to infest his nerves like ants swarming on a log to escape a flood.
Knelt between his spread legs, you brought the glass to your lips again, sipping at the amber liquid.  You leaned in.
Dean watched you, breathing shallow, attention rapt.  You hadn’t so much as touched him, yet every nerve in his body felt like it was on fire in the best possible way.  The closer you got the shallower he breathed until he was almost holding his breath, looking down his nose at how close your lips were.  His eyelashes looked to flutter against his cheeks just as yours did when you brushed your whiskey dappled lips against his.
He refused to lick where you had been.  He couldn’t.  As soon as he tasted, he would pounce, and…
“Don’t.”  He croaked out when you moved to lay your lips on him once more.
You looked confused but at least you didn’t look hurt.  He couldn’t bear it if you looked hurt because of him.
“Bobby…”  Was all he could say through his constricting throat.
You smiled then, full of amusement, lips brushing against his, you whispered “he’ll understand.”
Dean tried not to respond to you but you coaxed his lips apart and teased your tongue to meet his, short circuiting his brain.  The taste of the scotch and the sweetness of your mouth made him groan.  He had fantasised about having you for years, but never did he think it would be you seducing him.
His hands on your hips guided you roughly to straddle him, the bulge in his jeans pushing up against you as you settled.  He took the glass from your hands and downed the contents, his eyes on yours as he dropped the glass carelessly on the bedside unit.
Your lips met his again but this time you devoured each other, tongues stroking together, moans stifled by each other’s mouths.  He trailed his hands up your body, dragging your t-shirt along with them.  Finally, he could see what he had been having glimpses of this whole evening.  Plush breasts cupped in scant lace that was completely impractical for a hunt, Dean realised, like you had meant to come here like this.  You had intended this from the beginning.
He tore at the lace, dragging it under your breasts to free them, shoulder straps slipped down.  Pawing at them like he had never touched a tittie before, all he wanted to do was suck and nip and nibble.
Your breathy sigh was divine, and the moan that followed was filthy.  You cupped the back of his head as he took your nipple into his mouth and sucked hard, pressing him further, asking for more.
While he worked on your breasts you undid his belt and fly, reaching into the front of his shorts to release him from the awkward angle at which he was trapped.  You stroked him, firm but slow, feeling him for the first time.  You had always wondered what he had going on down there that every woman he had ever been with would come back for more at the drop of a hat.  You weren’t disappointed.
Dean lifted his hips, you thought to allow you to push his jeans down but instead he flipped you, making you squeal.  Once under him, he ravished your breasts anew, pinching one nipple hard while licking and sucking the other.  Soon you were a mewling mess, hips writhing, begging for something he hadn’t given you yet.  Excited that he had taken control away from you, you watched him sit up and yank your jeans down, lifting your legs until they were bare.  Your knickers followed and he spread your legs without preamble, lowering himself between your thighs until his hair and eyes were all you could see above your mound.
“Jesus Christ of Nazareth!”
You groaned as he suckled against your sensitive spot.  Fuck, he was good with his tongue.  Everything about him was good except his image.  Bad boy Dean Winchester.  He was every woman’s wet dream.  He had been your wet dream since you were seventeen.  But now you were plenty old enough and finally getting what you wanted.
Bobby had told you to stay away from him when you were a kid.  Dean had a reputation as a ladies man even then, but he respected your uncle Bobby enough to keep his distance… until now.
Dean dipped two fingers inside, creating pressure in exactly the right spot.  You gasped and gripped his hair as your pleasure began to crest, tugging on it for dear life.  He looked up at you then, to see your eyes closed against the intensity of it, neck and face flushed red with your oncoming orgasm.  When it came, the pulsing of your core was his sign to slow down.  He left off his suckling and stroked you through the pleasure, watching you all the while.  You were a beautiful mess.
“That’s my girl.”  He praised you in that deep rough tone you adored, helping prolong your climax until you took his hand away yourself.  “Are you ready for me?”
You nodded, allowing him to lift your knees up and stroke the weeping tip of his cock over your swollen clit.
From the front pocket of the jeans he still wore, he pulled a foil packet with Trojan embossed on it.  He was swift with its application, aiming his tip just so.
When he slid home, your eyes rolled back and you reached to grip his forearms.  It was something Dean would never get tired of seeing but it felt that much different with you.  You were the forbidden thing he had always wanted but could never have.  Even now he didn’t know whether he would come to regret this.  God, he hoped not.
Balls deep in you, he leaned forward to kiss you, wrapping your legs around his hips.  His instinct was to fold you in half and pound the living shit out of you, but you were already overwhelmed and he wanted to make this soft for you.
“Tell me what you need.”  He spoke softly as he nuzzled your neck.
“Just you, like this.”  You sighed.  Who knew Dean Winchester was a considerate lover.
His slow, measured thrusts brought you closer to the edge, your core fluttering each time, he could feel it.  It surprised him how quickly is climax built at this pace, but the added connection you both shared seemed to turn him on.  He would never give up Busty Asian Babe porn but he could get used to this with you.
You didn’t close your eyes against the pleasure this time, you watched him come undone above you, gasping as his orgasm made his legs and arms shake, muscles clenched tight to keep his weight from collapsing on you.  When he swelled you dug your fingers into his hips to pull him deeper with each stroke, and when he spilled you also came, eyes fluttering shut finally.
Dean knelt up, slipping the rubber off as soon as he was clear of you and, tying a knot in the end, tossed it in the direction of the trash can.
“Shot.”  You said with a smile as the sticky bundle went straight in the can.
He quirked and eyebrow and give you a slightly smug lopsided smirk that said:  What can I say?  I don’t miss.
When you moved to sit, he stopped you.
“Here, lemme get that.”
“Thanks.”
He stripped his t-shirt off and used it to clean up the wetness between your legs.  Though none of it was his, it would still dribble when you moved.  Afterwards he tucked it under your ass and flopped down on the bed at your side, moving his arm behind your head so you could rest it on his chest.  You were both content.  Both had goofy grins on your faces.  Both disbelieving that you had finally gotten what you wanted.
A loud knock at the door started you.
“Are you done?”  Sam said.  “I need that book.”
“NO!”  You and Dean shouted back in unison, laughing afterwards.
“Bobby’s gonna kill you.”  Sam called back through the door.
“I KNOW!”  Dean yelled gruffly, pulling you closer.
There might be a time in the future where the ghost of Bobby Singer came to make him regret the day his balls dropped and, if it happened, Dean would be happy to see him again.  In the meantime, you and he could work on a whole bunch of reasons to make the cranky old bastard come down from up high for a visit.
Dean pulled the sheets over both of your heads, nibbling at your neck until you moaned his name.  Aside from the roar of Baby’s engine, he had found his new favourite sound.
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Ok so. "Why does this sound like a goodbye?" Was fucking heartbreaking, right; we have the full-on uninterrupted eye contact, the head tilt, Dean's already open mouth twitching before the scene cuts to Cas' "I love you," like he had more to say, but Cas beats him to the punch. It's great, we love that. But for the dialogue to be sequenced that way, and to have Dean reply with, "don't do this, Cas."
I'm only just realizing how fucking insane it was. And sure, I might just be coping here, at the end of the day who fucking knows, but look at it. Think about it. Now let yourself feel it all over again.
It's Dean's death knocking on the door behind Cas, and it's Cas' death emerging behind Dean. Like this, they're directly facing their own demise—but they're too stuck on each other, in their moment, to give a damn. And then Dean doesn't say, "I love you too." He says, "don't do this."
He isn't disgusted or ashamed or put off in the slightest by Cas' confession, because if he is then why is he on the verge of tears? In what world would it make sense for him to want to cry after his best friend confessed to him, if the confession was something he did not want. He says don't do this here, don't do this to me now.
Even if, and that's the most unlikely if to ever exist, Dean did not reciprocate Cas' feelings—don't do this is still so fucking powerful. Because Dean's connected the dots, happiness [...] is in just saying it, and Cas said it, so where does that lead Dean? That's right, with Cas dead again, trying to save him again.
Don't do this. Don't die for me, don't love me only to die for me, don't love me at all, just stay with me.
Don't let me watch you die again and not even let me follow you—because, at the very least, that was a consolation. She's gonna kill you, which Dean knows that Billie knows will hurt him more than his own death, and then she's gonna kill me.
"Don't do this," was actually so fucking powerful, I don't know how it slipped past me until now...
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angelsdean · 5 months
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i don't need more spn to be "good" i need it to be FUN. i need it to resolve the hanging plotlines, i need cas back, i need destiel reunited, i need dean alive. but the rest? whatever! just wanna see them on screen again getting up to shenanigans. bring back as many fan favorites as possible. make it silly. make it fan service. i don't need HBO spn. i don't need serious or highbrow. i just want these characters back and i want them to be HAPPY.
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via-l0ve · 9 months
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OMG I LOVE ALL OF YOUR WRITING
What about reader having nowhere to sit so reader sits on the supernatural boys laps (they are just friends rn) <33
“Can i sit here?” (SPN pref!)
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a/n thank you so so so so so much!! i hate titles omfg. they’re so difficult. i hope you like this anon!!
warnings: sliiiiightly suggestive
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dean:
he puts his hands on your hips and just tries to act casual
his mind is racing
“do not get a boner do not get a boner do not get a boner do not get a bo-”
if your move while in his lap he’s going to lose it and start blushing
let’s say that he’s talking to sam and cas and you sit on his lap and sam starts laughing bc deans face is literally
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so sam starts cackling and you’re confused bc you can’t see deans face
“what’s funny?”
“nothing.”
“you’re literally crying of laughter.”
“i just remembered a funny thing.”
liar
dean is in love with you now if he wasn’t before sorry bb
Sam:
sam goes RIGID
wont stop thinking about it either
seven hours later he’s laying in bed like
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bc you sat on his lap
he’s the type to have a whole breakdown
“i love them. no sam. that’s too soon to say. bad sam. but i really really really like them. i hate everything.”
you broke him
do it more often he’ll warm up to you
Castiel:
flabbergasted
he’s blushing and holding your waist and smiling
“they sat with me :)”
he’s SO happy
he wants you to do it more often. he likes to be close to you.
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he just wants to give you all his love
he’s kind of confused when you first do it so he dosent really touch you or anything he just lets his arms hang
but if you do it more often he gets more comfortable and holds you
Crowley:
he’s smirking
so smug.
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he’s holding your hips and slipping a hand in your back pocket
he’s such a dick lmfaoo
but fr he makes sure you’re comfy and pulls you closer to him and his chest
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scoobydoodean · 3 months
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You really just can't unsee it once you see it though, can you?
Sam starts blaming Dean for what he's going to do (work with Ruby) way back in 3.09 because Dean isn't going to be around to be Sam's mommy, which is going to force Sam's hand.
After Dean comes back, Sam actually blames Dean for him working with Ruby by saying Dean wasn't there to protect him (4.04).
Dean repeatedly begs Sam not to work with Ruby and is ignored repeatedly (3.03, 3.04, 3.09, 3.16, 4.01-4.04, 4.12-4.22).
After telling Dean to open up to him and trust him (4.08), Sam calls Dean weak and pathetic for being traumatized by hell and says Dean is holding him back and therefore deserves to be lied to because he can't be of use (4.14) Sam says it's not what he really thinks when they both know it is (and Sam repeats it to other characters in 4.16, and 4.18) and then he admits it's the truth again to Dean's face in 4.21.
Sam accuses Dean of not trusting him enough (4.21).
Bobby blows up at Dean for not supporting Sam enough and calls him a pansy after Sam strangled Dean near unconscious, and tells him family is supposed to make you miserable (4.22).
Dean tries to reach out to Sam and Zachariah and Cas actively prevent him from doing so (Cas only at first) (4.22)
Zachariah (5.01) and Cas (5.02) both tell Dean the apocalypse is his fault because Dean didn't reach Sam in time to stop him from killing Lilith.
Dean says Sam hurt him, Sam is the one Dean depended on the most and Sam hurt him in ways he can't even voice (5.01). Sam apologizes, but then in the very next episode, shoves Dean into a wall for not trusting him like Dean is crazy and irrational when Sam doesn't even trust himself (5.02).
Sam says he thinks they should go their separate ways and is shocked when Dean agrees easily. Dean says that he spends more time worrying about Sam than he does doing the job right and time apart would be good. Sam reiterates that he's sorry and Dean gently says he knows Sam is (5.02).
Cas asks Dean if he's okay even without his brother, and Dean says "Especially without my brother. I mean, I spent so much time worrying about the son of a bitch. I mean, I’ve had more fun with you in the past twenty-four hours than I’ve had with Sam in years, and you’re not that much fun. It’s funny, you know, I’ve been so chained to my family, but now that I’m alone, hell, I’m happy." (5.03)
Sam says he wants back in. Dean objects, on the basis that he thinks they're stronger apart. Dean says they're each other's weaknesses and it's being used against them (5.04, but the weakness line is repeated from 3.03 and 3.16).
Zachariah pushes Dean into a future 2014 where Dean never met up with Sam again, and as a result, Sam said "Yes" to Lucifer, and billions of people died. All because Dean didn't want to be around Sam after being hurt and never reconnected with him (5.04).
Dean reconnects with Sam (5.04) even though he clearly doesn't want to, because the first case we see them on again, Dean struggles to trust Sam and leaves to go drink alone because he doesn't want to be around Sam (5.05).
Sam says part of the reason he went off with Ruby was to get away from Dean, because Dean is smothering. Dean is the problem in the relationship, because Sam feels inferior compared to him. Dean apologizes for being too smothering (5.05).
What does all of this tell you? Dean can't win. Dean will always be the bad guy in the family. He loves too much, or he isn't loving enough. Sam needs him and Dean wasn't there for him and so Sam went down the wrong path, but also Dean is smothering and Dean being smothering is the reason Sam went down the wrong path. Sam is not a trustworthy person, but Dean doesn't trust him enough. Sam not being trustworthy is Dean's fault. Dean doesn't deserve trust, but Sam deserves Dean's trust no matter what and not giving Sam his trust is the worst possible thing in the entire world and also again makes him smothering. The apocalypse is Dean's fault. Every single thing Sam does every single mistake he might ever make in his life is always at least partly Dean's fault and Dean's responsibility.
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quietwingsinthesky · 6 months
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domestic destiel with baby jack except that dean wants to kill himself the entire time because he feels like he’s trapped and can’t keep going through these motions that he doesn’t feel
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pinknatural · 3 months
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Pick out the biggest, reddest, juiciest strawberries. Wash ‘em real good. Lay them out on a tray covered in parchment paper. Pat them dry, and leave them out. Put some chocolate chips in a bowl, and microwave in 30 second intervals. After the chocolate is good and melted, pick up the strawberries by the stem and dip them in, coating them thoroughly before putting them back on the tray. 
Dean’s never made chocolate-covered strawberries before. Never had a reason to. It’s kinda nice, to dedicate all his focus to making sure the chocolate is covering up the berries evenly. To try not to get them to drip. 
Since moving into the Bunker, Dean’s found that baking is fun. He likes putting a bunch of stuff together and seeing delicious results. And chocolate-covered strawberries aren’t exactly rocket science, but he knows they’ll taste good and make Sammy happy and that’s all he really wants, right?
Plus, he thinks, gently placing another strawberry back on the parchment paper. He doesn’t think Jack has ever had a chocolate-covered strawberry before, and he can just picture the kid’s excited eyebrows at the taste. 
He picks up another strawberry, pinching all the leaves between his fingers so they don’t get chocolatey. He dips it nice and slow into the glass bowl, turning it gently as he brings it out of the chocolate.
“What are you doing?” 
Dean yelps, nearly dropping his strawberry. 
“Jesus christ, Cas, you snuck up on me!” he says, turning to glare over his shoulder. Cas is standing just behind him, staring curiously. He could’ve been there for two minutes or twenty. Dean didn’t even know he was in the Bunker, let alone the kitchen. “I’m not kidding about that bell, dude.”
“Apologies,” Cas says. He doesn’t sound a bit sorry at all. Dean rolls his eyes and turns back to his strawberry, putting it on the tray next to the other completed ones. Cas moves in closer. “What is the purpose of this exercise?”
“Chocolate-covered strawberries,” Dean says. 
“I see that,” Cas says. He sniffs, as if the smell disagrees with him. “But why are you covering the strawberries in the chocolate? Is it for a spell?”
“No, it’s a dessert. Like a candy, I guess,” Dean says. “For Valentine’s Day.”
“Ah, yes,” Cas says. “Unattached drifter Christmas.”
Something in Dean’s heart stabs, at that. He hates that Cas has heard him say that, or heard Sam reference it, or whatever. 
“Yeah,” he says, looking away from Cas’ eyes. The strawberries are safer to look at. “I guess.”
Cas’ big hands enter Dean’s field of view, and he plucks up a strawberry. Not one with chocolate on it. A naked one. Despite himself, Dean looks back up at Cas. It’s hard to not look at him. He has a very nice face.
“What does chocolate strawberries have to with the patron saint of bees?” 
“Bees?”
“And epilepsy,” Cas says, squinting at the strawberry. “And the mentally ill. And happy marriages.”
“Uh, it’s more about the happy marriages thing,” Dean says. “Valentine’s Day is about love and shit.”
“And strawberries,” Cas says, nodding wisely, as if he understands everything. He sets the strawberry back on the tray. Dean’s not sure if he’s fucking with him or not. Surely after all this time on earth, Cas knows what fucking Valentine’s Day is. 
“You give the strawberries to your Valentine,” Dean says. “Or chocolate or whatever. Or those fucking disgusting chalky heart things. But Eileen loves chocolate-covered strawberries and so these are for Sam. To give to her.”
Dean told Sam to make his own chocolate-covered strawberries, but Sam said that either Dean could make them or he would buy some from the store. And Dean does not trust fucking Hy-Vee to have quality chocolate-covered strawberries. He picks up Cas’ naked strawberry--the last one--and dips it into the chocolate. 
“That’s very kind of you,” Cas says, watching him. “To help Sam out.”
“Whatever,” Dean mutters, holding the strawberry up so the excess chocolate can drip back into the bowl. “I wanted Jack to try some, too.”
“You say that like it will make me think you less kind,” Cas says. Dean is tempted to throw him out of the kitchen. But goddamnit, he likes Cas and likes when Cas hangs out with him and asks stupid questions about Valentine’s Day. But knows that Saint Valentine is the patron saint of epilepsy, or whatever. Ugh. 
Dean never knows when Cas is leaving, anyway, so he’s gotta take all the time he can get. He leaves his strawberries behind and fetches another glass bowl. The white chocolate chips are already out, beside the opened bag of regular chocolate chips. 
“I thought you said white chocolate was an abomination,” Cas says, watching Dean pour some into the bowl. 
“It is,” Dean says. “But it will look fancier this way, trust me.” He puts the bowl in the microwave, punches in a 3-0-enter then turns around to look at Cas. He’s inspecting the neat line of chocolate-covered strawberries. They’re a little messier than Dean wants, but hell, it’s his very first try. 
“I don’t understand why you would put the chocolate on the strawberries,” Cas says. “My understanding is that strawberries are perfectly good on their own.”
“Dude, bacon is perfectly good on its own and we put chocolate on that,” Dean says. He crosses back to the counter and picks up a strawberry by the stem, holds it out to Cas. “Go on, try it.”
He expects Cas to take the strawberry from him--chocolate end first, and then he’ll get chocolate all over his fingers and Dean will die a million deaths watching him lick the chocolate off. Instead, Cas does something a thousand times worse and leans forward, biting into the strawberry without taking it, like Dean’s feeding it to him or some shit. 
Dean has a vision of a picnic somewhere, red and white checkered blanket and all. The sky is blue and the grass is soft and Cas’ head is in Dean’s lap and Dean’s feeding him strawberries and kissing him between each one. 
But instead Cas just--doesn’t break eye contact. Just stares, as he bites into the strawberry, chews and swallows. 
“Good?” Dean says, mouth dry. 
Cas closes his eyes, licking his lips. “Mmm, very.” He straightens back up. Even though he licked his lips, he missed a little--has a chocolate mustache. Dean has the insane urge to lick it right off his face. 
“Uh, you got some--chocolate,” Dean croaks instead. He mimes with his own thumb. Cas swipes the chocolate and succeeds in smearing it everywhere. 
“Did I get it?” he asks, and his wide blue eyes hypnotize Dean into reaching forward and wiping the chocolate off Cas’ face with his own fingers. Then Dean licks the chocolate off his thumb. 
Then Dean realizes that the microwave is beeping and the white chocolate’s first 30 seconds have been up for a long time, and he should probably go get that, and he escapes across the kitchen. 
“The strawberry molecules and chocolate molecules are very pleasing together,” Cas says. “Do humans put chocolate on other fruits?”
“Yeah,” Dean says, stirring the white chocolate frantically. If he doesn’t look at Cas maybe Cas will think that what just happened was normal, and that Dean isn’t fucking insane. “Uh, apples, bananas, pineapples. I think I saw it on kiwi once. Uh, maybe orange slices.”
“Fascinating,” Cas says. Dean puts the white chocolate back into the microwave. “Yes, I think Jack would like that very much.”
“Good,” Dean says. He goes to the fridge, gets a beer. Opens it on the side of the counter and takes a big swig. The microwave beeps.
It’s all melted. Dean grabs a spoon and goes over to the berries. He is not confident about this part at all, but crazyforcrust.com said to use a spoon. And hopefully he can get, like four or five good-looking ones for Sam, and the rest can be for him to pig out on on the fourteenth alone in his room while he tries not to wonder where Cas is. 
He dips the spoon into the white chocolate and covers it, then raises it over a strawberry and zig-zags over it, letting the white chocolate drip and drizzle overtop.
“See?” Dean says to Cas, who he knows is watching. “You can hardly taste the white chocolate this way but it looks good.” Well, it doesn’t look bad. Dean’s sure they’ll look better as he goes.
“I see,” Cas says. He points to the drizzled strawberry. “Are you giving that one to Sam?”
“No,” Dean says. “That one was just a practice one.”
“Good,” Cas says, and he picks up the strawberry by the stem. Dean’s never, ever seen him go for seconds before, but he makes a mental note of it. But then Cas turns the strawberry around, unmistakably offering it to Dean. “You should have one. You made them.”
“But--” Dean starts to say, and then Cas brings it up, so it nearly touches Dean’s lips. He looks at him with the same kind of focus he gives to a hunt, or smiting demons. 
“Eat it,” he says, nudging Dean’s lips with the fruit. Dean opens his mouth and bites into it. Maybe Dean would lay his head on Cas’ lap in their picnic, and Cas would feed Dean. 
The strawberry is good, probably. Dean’s not really sure what it tastes like. All he can see are Cas’ eyes, boring into his. 
Dean swallows. 
“You don’t have any chocolate on your face,” Cas says. He sounds disappointed. Dean can’t unpack that. 
“That’s ‘cause the chocolate is less melty,” Dean says, mostly on autopilot. He feels a million miles away. “Cause it’s starting to harden.”
“Okay,” Cas says. “Can I help with the drizzle?”
“Oh,” Dean says, shaken out of some kind of trance. “Sure. Get a spoon.”
Cas fetches one. He holds it like an instrument of war. Dean loves him so fucking much.
They drizzle white chocolate over the strawberries. Cas does it so precisely his drizzles look like they came from the store. Dean’s drizzles improve. He makes a couple decent ones. For Jack, he guesses, ‘cause the ones Cas made should probably go to Sam.
“I gave you a strawberry,” Cas says out of nowhere. “And you gave me one. Does that make us Valentines?”
Dean freezes. 
A moment later, his heart restarts and he looks at Cas, who is solemnly drizzling. Then he looks innocently up at Dean, and Dean realizes that Cas has absolutely been fucking with him this whole time. Absolutely knows about Valentine’s Day, absolutely ate that strawberry out of Dean’s hand on purpose. Dean narrows his eyes at him. Cas tilts his head. 
“You’re a menace,” Dean grumbles. 
“That’s not a no,” Cas says. 
“You’re right,” Dean says. “I guess it does make us Valentines.” Cas smiles, a tiny, private thing, and then looks back down at his drizzling. 
“Good,” he says quietly, and Dean ducks his head, cheeks warm and heart fluttering, and he lifts up his spoon. 
It’s kind of cold in Kansas in February, but Dean imagines him and Cas wrapped in blankets,  feeding each other chocolate-covered strawberries in front of the TV. This time, he thinks, he’ll actually taste the strawberry. And you know what? Dean’s sure that those strawberry molecules and those chocolate molecules are gonna be fucking fantastic.
Especially if he gets to kiss them off Cas’ lips. 
(ao3)
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