#cass kisses rose’s neck scar every night.

[dykesbat]

the world I have built for cassrose in my head is immense and delusional they have literally 4 issues of canonical interactions I need you guys to understand I’m insane and not normal.

[fawnandshadows]

After The Ceremony - Chapter 1

Hey Guys!

This is the first chapter of a mini Elriel fanfiction that I'm working on. You can also read it on AO3

Summary: Elain and Azriel after Nesta and Cassian's Mating Ceremony.

Words: 1,847

Nesta and Cassian’s mating ceremony has long since been over, but Elain couldn’t bring herself to go back to her room. No, Elain had too much restless energy to even attempt to fall asleep tonight, and instead of tossing and turning in her bed all night, she decided she may as well be useful and start to clean up. It took only ten minutes of laying in her bed, staring at the ceiling, before silently walking downstairs to the ballroom. Nuala and Cerridwen offered to help her, and Elain knew that they wouldn’t have minded staying up all night to clean with her, but she really just wanted to be alone. So, the twins like everyone else went to bed, and Elain stayed in the ballroom of Feyre and Rhysand’s River House putting herself to use.

There was something about being alone in the middle of the night that just seemed right to Elain, when everyone else was sleeping, she didn’t have to worry about putting on a face for everyone to see. She didn’t have to plaster a smile on her face while her heart was cracking in her chest. It was a test of her resolve today, Elain thought, as she pretended, yet again, that everything was alright. It took everything in Elain, every ounce of will power and restraint, to not break down and cry in the middle of the ballroom as she saw a familiar rose necklace around somebody else's neck.

Elain wanted to cry, scream, and cry some more whenever she looked at Gwyn, or Azriel, or even Mor. Especially Mor, when Elain saw her dancing and smiling with Azriel. It just felt so wrong. It should be Elain wearing his necklace, and it should be Elain in his arms as they spun around the room completely oblivious to everyone else.

After seeing Gwyn wearing her necklace, Elain immediately turned to leave the room because all she wanted was to be alone with her feelings and not worry about someone seeing through her fake smile, but as soon as she turned she caught a glimpse of the sun and a shadow dancing across the floor.

Elain had never seen Mor and Azriel dance together, and she never wanted to, especially when watching them smile at each other ruined whatever was left of her heart. They looked so incredibly beautiful together, and Azriel was smiling down at Mor with a warmth Elain hadn’t seen since the last solstice when she made him laugh. And Mor was smiling up at Azriel with an ease Elain had never noticed between them.

Confusion danced in her chest with every other emotion she was feeling.

Elain was only forced out of her staring from a heavy arm that fell across her shoulders. She blinked and a drunk Cassian appeared in front of her face, a stupid grin strectched across his face that was the result of unadulterated love and copious amounts of wine.

“Dance with me!” Cassian pulled her onto the dance floor, snapping her out of her imminent depression and into a crowded dance floor.

Elain let out a sign and continued sweeping the surprisingly messy floor. It seemed like most of the cake she and the twins had baked for the party ended up on the marble floor somehow, but she supposed that drunken fae couldn’t be expected to be tidy. The full moon illuminated most of the room, but there were still some faelights along the wall that added just enough light for her work. After sweeping, and picking up a surprising amount of glasses from the floor, Elain collected the bouquets from the tables.

It took her months to craft five bouquets for the ceremony, one for Nesta, and four for the women standing beside her. The core of Nesta’s bouquet were red carnations, pink roses, with bursting dahlias. Every bouquet held pink acacia’s - the flower of friendship. Feyre’s bouquet consisted of blooming magnolia’s and eye-catching violets. Her own was made from magnolias, nightshade, and a sprinkle of periwinkles. Emorie’s held vibrant hyacinths with white jasmine, and Gwyn’s bouquet was crafted from lavender, morning glories, oleanders. All the flowers were grown and cultivated by Elain herself, and she felt a shimmer of pride as she looked upon them.

Elain was getting ready to move the bouquets and their vases from the ballroom into the dining room, thinking they would look nice in a room where her family spends most of their time, when a familiar shiver floated down her spine. She didn’t look up as she said, “Hello, Azriel.” She knew he would reveal himself to her.

“It’s late. You should be sleeping.” His deep voice blended in with the night, causing her knees to weaken slightly and her eyelids to relax. What she wouldn’t give to fall asleep with that voice whispering in her ear while his fingers slid against her skin. What she wouldn’t give to stay awake all night with his voice in her ears and his fingers on her skin. Elain lost count of how many times she lost herself in thought as she tried to imagine what his lips would feel like against her throat.

“So should you,” Elain said, turning her body slightly to see him walk further into the room from where he leaned against the doorway. “I thought everyone was asleep. I’m sorry if I disturbed you.”

“Do you normally spend your nights cleaning up after drunken fae?” Azriel asked as he approached her. He stood maybe two feet away, but Elain could still feel the warmth radiating off his body. Another shiver made its way down her spine. Her skin felt so sensitive in his presence that it was hard to focus on anything besides him.

“Normally just Cassian,” Elain attempted to joke. Her chest felt slightly lighter as she noticed the twitch of his lips. It was a mistake looking at his lips. Her tongue brushed against her own that suddenly felt dry. “Did you enjoy yourself tonight?”

Azriel nodded. No words, no explanation, no attempt at conversation.

“You’re a lovely dancer.” Elain said, unable to stop herself, but she wanted him to know that she noticed him. She wanted him to know that she wished it was her in his arms dancing in front of everyone else.

“Thank you. You didn’t dance much at all.” Azriel noted and Elain felt the warmth of a blush on cheeks.

She gave a small shrug and said, “I was only asked by Cass, Rhys, and Lucien.”

Rhys was the first to offer her a dance, and she loved her brother-in-law too much to say no. Rhys was a lovely dancer, and she fought to keep a smile on her face under his prying eyes. Her dance with Cassian involved mostly her propping him up so that he didn’t collapse on the floor. Her dance was Lucien was non-existent.

“Why didn’t you dance with him?” Azriel asked softly. If it wasn’t the dead of night she wouldn’t have heard it.

“I don’t want to give him false hope,” Elain said, taking a fortifying breath before she continued, “It’s wretched to think you have a chance, a connection, to someone when you don’t.” She prayed to the Mother that Azriel didn’t notice her shaky breath, her racing heart, or how it took all of her bravery to say that.

In the soft glow of the faelights Elain saw a flinch run across Azriels face. It took him a moment longer than usual to school his features into their usual mask, but he couldn’t hide the pain that shimmered in his eyes.

The similarities weren’t lost on Elain. How this night resembled that of the solstice. Azriel and Elain being the only two people awake in the house. Her mate sleeping upstairs. The same crackling excitement rushing through her. The hope that maybe she would finally feel the brush of his lips against hers, and she wouldn’t have to speculate about what he tasted like anymore.

“Elain.” Azriel said her name as if it pained him.

“Why did you do it?” She whispered hotly. “Why did you give my necklace away? Why did you dance with Mor and look at her as if she were the only female in the room?” Before her bravery completely ran out she took a step forward, grabbed his hand, and placed it against her heart. “Did you feel this break tonight?”

His hand was hot against the thin cotton of her nightgown. She could just barely feel the traces of his scars. Elain wished there was nothing between them.

“Because it did,” Elain continued. “It broke every time I looked at you. It broke when I saw the necklace, and it broke when I saw how beautiful you and Mor looked.”

“Elain,” Azriel said, his voice harsh, his hand pressed further into her as if he too wished there was no nightgown separating them. “I want to, but I can’t.”

“I don’t understand,” Elain stared at his churning hazel eyes. She couldn’t help the lonesome tear that slid down her face. She was about to wipe it away when he beat her to it. His large, warm, wonderful hand brushed away her tear before cupping her cheek. Despite the pain that was growing in her chest, she would feel it all again if it meant his skin on hers. She would withstand any pain if it kept them together. “Make me understand.”

“I want to kiss you,” Azriel said. Elain felt each word as it brushed against her face. “I want to rip this nightgown from your body, lay you on the table, spread your legs open and feast until I’m drunk off the taste of you. I want to slide into you until I’m the only thing on your mind, and then I want to bring you so much pleasure you’ll never want to be away from me. And once you found your pleasure, I’d take you upstairs and do it all again. If I ever got a hold on myself I would make love to you the way you deserve.”

Elain, loving the warmth and wetness that flooded her core, felt as if she was about to combust. One tiny spark and she would erupt into flame.

“And why can’t we do that?” Elain asked quietly, as if she were afraid of ruining the moment. As if she were afraid he would slip away from her yet again.

“Rhy’s pulled rank on me.” Azriel replied. The only sign of tension was the muscle that contracted in his jaw. Elain ignored the urge to run her tongue over it.

“Huh?” Elains brain was too hazed with desire to form a proper sentence.

“He forbid it.” Azriel replied, tilting his head forward slightly, and brushing his nose against hers. The breath that floated across her face threatened to knock her over.

“Forbid what?” Elain managed to get out - too absorbed in him to think clearly.

“Us.”

Elain didn’t have time to think about what Azriel said as his lips descended on hers.

[mardereads19]

Elriel Month 🌸🦇

Day 15:

All her family and Nesta’s two Valkyrie friends had come together at the river house to celebrate Nesta’s birthday. Elain could tell Nesta was still not used to so many people fawning over her and giving her compliments and gifts, but she was happy, her smile more radiant than it had ever been. Cassian had stood close to her, his own face radiating love and pride over his mate.

Elain had been introduced to Gwyn and Emerie when she’d descended from her room. Both of them had been lovely, the former one very enthusiastic —despite the fact that she had spent the rest of the party by a corner with Emerie and Nesta— and the latter extremely warm and kind.

Azriel had also been at the fete, keeping his distance and only glancing at her when it was expected, but his fingers had brushed hers twice since she arrived, once just as she had joined the rest of her family and the second time as she had passed by him to get some juice.

Her mind kept going back to their promise and her small, discreet tattoo of a withered rose behind her ear, constantly covered by her hair. If anyone had noticed Azriel’s own, she’d yet to hear them question it.

After five hours of the party, Elain ventured a glance his way. He met it and Elain held it long enough to hope it would communicate her message to him. Azriel dipped his chin slightly, bringing his cup to his lips to cover his small smile. She did the same before excusing herself loudly, wishing her sister a happy birthday, and bidding everyone a good night.

Elain stood up and stilled. Everything around her had gone black. There were no walls, no chairs. No one. Just black.

Elain reached her hands to her sides but she made no contact. Instead, she found that in this darkness she could move forward, unlike the one that replayed in her mind constantly. The one where—

Elain jolted back as the blackness exploded around her, winds swirled around her frame and she had to shut her eyes against the brightness of the sun. When her eyes adjusted, she noticed a shadow floated by her. An incongruent shape, but it moved with purpose. Elain watched it float over a sea of water long enough to last eternity in all directions.

Elain?

She whipped her head around, trying to find from where the familiar silky voice of her Illyrian warrior was coming from, but he was not there. Her heart sped up with fear. Where was he?

Something grabbed her hand, but when she looked down, it was empty. She felt a squeeze in her fingers. The hand holding hers... it was scarred. She knew that hand, those scars. She had kissed them, loved them, admired them.

Elain? His tone became more insistent, worried. Was he in trouble?

***

Elain had been standing up one second, and stiffening the next, her eyes unfocusing and going all white, that brown he loved so much disappearing. He’d been reaching for her immediately, not giving a damn that everyone else turned to them. To him —worry in his eyes as he’d said her name. She had not responded in any way, not even a spark of recognition on her expression. He’d lowered her back to the couch and taken her hand, kneeling in front of her.

“Elain?” he asked again now, brushing her cheekbone with his other hand. Her face remained impassive, those eyes displaying her power. Seer. What was she seeing?

“Azriel?”

Azriel squeezed her delicate hand tighter and loosened up his shoulders. She was not here, but she could hear him. That was enough.

Nesta had forgotten all about her gifts and was standing beside Azriel, looking at her sister’s face with a troubled frown. “What is happening?”

“She’s having a vision,” he answered her.

“Azriel?” Elain asked again, this time, her brow furrowed in what could only be read as worry.

She was worried about him.

He squeezed her hand and brushed his fingers to her cheek again. “I’m here, Elain. I’m with you.”

Rhys was somewhere behind Azriel. He was seeing this.

Rhys could go to hell.

“What do you see, Elain? Tell me where you are.” Tell me how to help you come back.

Elain’s eyes shifted. “I can’t see you.”

Azriel grounded his teeth.

“Tell us what you see, girl.” Amren said from somewhere around his right.

The room had become silent, no doubt everyone focusing on Elain. His lovely fawn.

Elain did not reply to Amren, instead she tilted her head, a tear slipping down her cheek. It broke Azriel’s heart. “I cannot hear you anymore.” Fear, there was fear in her voice.

Azriel’s shadows began to surround him, he fought back the urge to kiss her, to try to bring her back the same way Cass had brought back Nesta that time she had scried.

“Elain, we’re here.” Feyre said from her spot next to Elain, her face twisted in distress. “We’re with you. What are you seeing? How can we help you?”

“I don’t think she can hear you,” Gwyn said from the corner of the room. Azriel did not remove his focus from Elain, but he felt every pair of eyes on him as Gwyn added, “I think she can only hear the Shadowsinger.”

The silence that followed was broken as another tear fell down Elain’s cheek and she repeated, “Azriel?” His name was half a sob from her lips.

She’s okay, she’s not hurt, his shadows whispered in Azriel’s ears, but he didn’t believe them. He wouldn’t until Elain was back from the realm she had gone off to. “I’m here Elain, I’m here.”

“I cannot find you.”

“You are having a vision, but I’m here with you.” Azriel wiped her tears away. “What are you seeing?”

Elain’s other hand shifted, just slightly. Then again. Again. She was moving it forward, then up. It collided with his chest, then it climbed up to his neck. It climbed higher, touching his face —his lips, his nose, his brows. Azriel let her. She had traced his brows and lips and nose with her fingers so many times when they laid together... she was identifying him. When Elain’s hand cupped his cheek, Azriel leaned in to the touch.

She let her hand drop to his shoulder, the effort it had taken her to move it at all exhausting itself.

“Tell me what you see.”

***

Elain focused back on the shadow, now sure that her love was safe and that he was with her. She could still feel his touch on her hand and cheeks.

Tell me what you see.

Right.

“The shadow is moving.”

It was crossing the water. Land had appeared in the horizon. A small village in a port city.

Where is it moving to?

Elain took a step forward. She was floating, too, but she could not see her reflection in the water bellow. Like she was invisible. The city got closer at an incredible speed, and the sun began to go down as if hours were going by like seconds.

Small lamps and torches illuminated the place.

Torches —not Faelights.

“Human territory.”

The city begun to fade out of focus. Elain was being pulled away, an invisible rope tied around her waist. She reached both arms around, but there was nothing to hold on to.

Then, in her next blink, Azriel was kneeling before her. His eyes relieved as she met his gaze. She was about to throw her arms around him, when she heard Cassian’s voice.

“A shadow moving to human territory?” His arms were crossed over his chest and his eyes met Azriel’s, shining with alarm.

“Koschei,” both said at the same time.

[theladyofdeath]

Rags & Riches {18}

Summary: An A Court of Thorns and Roses Fanfiction. 19th century AU. Based on the prompt sent in by @cat5313 All characters belong to SJM, I am just a fan with a plot.

Warning: Mature content strung throughout.

A/N: Two more chapters. I’ll post 19 tomorrow night, giving everyone a chance to catch up!

Leave a comment to be tagged & tell me what you think! :)

The battle had gone on for over a week.

They spent their day fighting, taking little breaks, the troops taking the field in intervals, only stopping to sleep or refuel. 

Cassian and Rhysand were sitting on the edge of the camp, utterly exhausted, gunshots ringing in the distance. They each had a bowl of porridge, but neither of them took a bite.

“How much longer do you think it will last?” Rhysand asked, quietly.

“It will be over soon,” Cassian replied, “hopefully.” 

Rhysand nodded.

They still had the upperhand, the battle was in their favor, but Hybern was not surrendering. It could not go on for much longer. It couldn’t. 

“I got a letter from Feyre this morning,” Rhysand said. “Didn’t have time to tell you before we went out.”

“Yeah?” Cassian asked.

“Yeah,” Rhysand whispered. “She lost the baby.”

Cassian moved for the first time in twenty minutes, looking over at his friend. Rhysand’s eyes were hollow, the blood and grime covering the paleness of his skin. 

“Fuck,” Cassian breathed, “I’m sorry, Rhys.”

Rhysand nodded, running his fingers through his hair. “Yeah. I hate...that I’m not there, you know? She has to go through it alone. You should have read the letter...she was apologizing. To me. Like it was her fault.” Rhysand’s eyes lined with tears, he cleared his throat. “I have to get home, to tell her that I love her, and that it is in no way her fault. She thinks it’s her fault. It’s not her fault.”

Cassian sat quietly, watching, and let Rhysand sort out his thoughts.

“I have to make it home, Cass,” Rhysand said, his voice shaking. “I have to make it back to her.”

But he was so tired.

So fucking tired.

“You will,” Cassian promised. “We both will.”

The bell rang, their time for resting had ended. 

They set down their bowls, which had just as much in them as they did when they began. 

“Stay together,” Rhysand said, as he strapped on his helmet and picked up his gun.

“Yeah,” Cassian said, doing the same, rising to his aching feet. “Stay together.”

~~~~~

It had been two days since Azriel arrived at the port. He went past Illyria, knowing Elain was still with her sisters. Word of the war got to him often, news was always spreading like wildfire. The latest battle was continuous with no sign of stopping.

Azriel had constant anxiety, never knowing where Rhysand and Cassian were, never knowing how they were. 

But his heart eased, slightly, once he arrived in the drive of the Archeron Manor. He had only been gone a few months, but he was not the same man he had been under Isaac Archeron’s employment. 

Although he knew one thing did not change - he loved Elain Archeron. 

She was standing on the steps, along with her sisters, waiting for him. The moment she saw the carriage coming close, a huge smile spread across her face. She threw one hand in the air and waved, the other one cradling the little bump beneath her dress. 

Azriel laughed, breathily. She was so beautiful, so radiant. He had been without her for too long.

The carriage stopped and the cab door opened. 

Azriel hauled himself out with a grunt. He knew he was not in his best shape, covered in bruises and scars and stitches, his arm still in a sling.

Elain’s eyes widened at the sight of him, and he knew she was thinking the same thing, but it did not stop her from hurrying to his side.

“Don’t run,” Azriel laughed. “The baby.”

She threw her arms around him, careful not to hit his arm. Azriel tried not to cringe as her body pressed up against the wound at his side.

“I missed you,” she cried into his chest. Azriel pressed his mouth to her forehead, and when she leaned back, brown eyes shining, her lips. His fingers, shaking from the anticipation of this moment, pushed the stray locks of hair from her face.

“I missed you, too,” Azriel promised. “More than you know.”

“You look like shit,” Feyre announced.

But when Azriel looked up at her, she was grinning.

Nesta stood beside her and nodded her head in respect.

“Have you heard anything lately?” Azriel asked. “From Rhys and Cass.”

Feyre and Nesta both nodded.

“The day before last,” Feyre said, Nesta keeping quiet. “They are both well, but the battle had just begun when they wrote. I hear it is still going on.”

Nesta tensed, and Azriel nodded. 

“But, the good news is that you are home,” Feyre said, gently. “Come in. Sit. Rest.”

Azriel nodded, grateful, and trailed up the steps and into the manor, where he was greeted by Alis. 

“Lovely to have you home, my dear,” she smiled, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“Thank you,” Azriel began, looking to Elain. “It is good to be back.”

Even as he said it, that guilt for leaving his brothers on the continent ate at him. 

“I set out some tea and biscuits in the sitting room,” Alis continued, before hurrying away.

The four of them sat in the sitting room and enjoyed their afternoon tea while making small talk. Azriel did not know what anyone was saying, though, because all he could do was look at Elain. 

“Will you tell us of how you got injured?”

Elain flinched, but Azriel looked at Nesta. Where her eyes were usually cold, they were filled with curiosity and pain. She had to be thinking of Cassian, had to be wondering. He knew what it was like over there, but he realized that loving someone who was shipped off to war was not any easier. 

Azriel cleared his throat. “I - yes, if you wish to hear. The short story is...well, there was an explosion. I was not caught in the middle of it, thankfully, but it left me, well…” he gestured to his current state, before huffing a laugh. Elain’s hand tightened in his. “My side was...hurt, badly. I was unconscious. My helmet had fallen off when I flew through the air….” he looked at Elain, who looked as if she was trying not to cry, and failing. “I do not remember too much after that, for a while. I remember hearing gunshots, and Cassian screaming at me not to die. I found out later that Cassian had dressed my wound the best he could with his shirt while we were on the battlefield, then he carried me out, Rhysand guarding us the whole way back, until we had reached the safety zone. Then they both hauled me to the nurses, where they stitched me up. They said I had lost a lot of blood and if Cassian and Rhys had not acted so quickly, I would have died. They were both there, when I woke up, standing over me.”

Azriel looked away from Elain, back to Nesta. The eldest Archeron daughter sat tall, her back straight, her chin lifted high. She did not move. If it were not for the tear rolling steadily down her cheek, Azriel would have thought she looked like a porcelain statue. 

“We are grateful that you are alright,” Feyre said, voice quiet. “Grateful that you are home.”

Azriel smiled, but said no more, because Isaac Archeron cleared his throat from the threshold.

Four sets of eyes jerked his way, but no one moved, no one had spoken. 

Elain’s fingers dug into Azriel’s hand.

As Isaac approached, Azriel stood.

“Last week I was told of your…” Isaac began, his words dropping off. He looked tired, uncertain. He did not look at any of his daughters. “Take care of my daughter. Please.”

Azriel nodded, unsure of what to say, unsure of what had gone on within their family in his absence. “I will protect her with my life, and love her unconditionally.” 

Isaac nodded, looking Azriel up and down. “I heard what happened to you. You have served your country well.” 

“Thank you, sir,” Azriel said, chin raised.

“I hear you are to be a father.”

Azriel looked back at Elain, with her hands protectively atop her abdomen.

“I am,” Azriel assured him.

Isaac nodded, jaw locked. “I do hope you two will visit. With my grandchild.” 

Elain sucked in her breath, as she rose to her feet.

“Do you mean it?” she asked.

Isaac did not look at Elain, but his eyes clouded over with guilt. “I should not have said what I did the other night. I will admit that, no, this was not the life that I saw fit for you. But, after your mother passed...” his breath hitched, his eyebrows furrowed. “Well, after she died, it was up to me alone to provide the best lives for you. I took that role on without considering your wishes, or your happiness. Elain, you are happy.” Isaac looked into the eyes identical to his own. “If you are happy, and this is what you wish to have, then...well, I suppose I shall have to warm up to the idea of it.”

Elain threw her arms around her father’s neck and sobbed. “There is simply too much happening for my pregnancy hormones to handle!”

Feyre laughed from where she sat next to Nesta.

“Although, I assume there will be a wedding, yes?” Isaac asked, shooting daggers at Azriel.

Azriel cleared his throat, suddenly more uncomfortable then he had been before. “Yes, of course.”

“Well, when that time comes, I hope you have it here,” Isaac said, eyes softening. “Among family.”

Elain laughed, and kissed her father’s cheek before turning around to the father of her child. She laid her palm against his cheek. “You need rest, I need a bubble bath.”

Azriel smiled as he nodded. “Very well.”

The two excused themselves, leaving the other three in a long, tense silence.

~~~~~

Nesta stared at the floor once Azriel and Elain made their departure. Azriel moved slowly, as if every movement caused him unbearable pain. She could not imagine living through an explosion to tell the tale. Although, she was certain Azriel was not the only one, but also certain that many did not live to tell the tale, either. 

Just as she thought Isaac was about to leave, too, he turned to Nesta and Feyre, sitting on the couch.

“I am sorry for your loss,” he whispered, to Feyre. “I should have comforted you, asked how you were fairing. Emotional connection is not a strong suit of mine.”

Thanks for passing that along, by the way, Nesta thought.

“It is alright,” Feyre said, words clipped. “Nesta and Elain were there for me. So.”

Isaac nodded. “I know. I am grateful for that.”

Nesta cleared her throat. “Well, if we are done here-”

“I cannot say that I approve of your choices of….” Isaac trailed off, looking at Nesta. “Men. But, you are still my heir. You will always be my heir.”

Nesta gave him a curt nod.

When it was clear she was not going to say anything, Isaac bowed his head. “I love you both.” With that, he was gone.

Feyre turned to Nesta. “Are you alright?”

Nesta nodded. She was alright. Her father’s words did not mean much to her. In the back of her mind, all she could think about was Azriel’s story. I remember hearing gunshots, and Cassian screaming at me not to die.

“This battle has lasted longer than the others,”  Nesta said.

Feyre slumped against the couch cushions. “Yes, it has. But, they are saying if we come out on top, the war will be over. They will come home.”

Nesta’s heart ached, her mind was a mess of emotion and she loathed it. In his last letter, he had told her he loved her, had told her he could not wait to come home, to ride Marigold together, to sleep in one another’s arms. He had told her that he loved Wordsworth, and read his work every day. You are the love of my life, Nesta. If I can never say another word to you, know that you are the love of my life. I promise to come back to you. I promise, okay?

His words had haunted her as she sat there, listening to Azriel speak.

“They better come home, soon,” Nesta said. “I need to tell Cassian that I love him.”

Feyre’s eyes softened, and laid her head against Nesta’s shoulder. “He knows, Nesta. I promise you. He knows.” 

~~~~~

Azriel was lying in Elain’s bed while she took her bath. 

“Are you still awake?” she called from the washroom.

Azriel huffed a laugh. “Yes, but hardly.”

His socks and boots had been removed, as had his shirt. His trousers hung loosely around his hips, one knee drawn up as he rested among the pillows. 

He could hear Elain getting out of the water. “How much pain are you in?”

Azriel’s brow rose. “A fair amount.”

She came around the corner, wrapped in a towel. “Is there anything I can do? To lessen the pain?”

Azriel’s eyes followed her as she approached him, grazing her body. “We could think of something, I’m sure.” He pulled at the hem of her towel. 

Elain’s cheeks reddened as she bit her lip to keep from laughing. “You are in no condition to do any such thing.” 

“You would be surprised at what I am capable of after being away from you for months,” he laughed, sleepily.

She shook her head. “You should keep perfectly still. Rest.”

Azriel sighed. “But I promise, El, I can-”

Elain dropped her towel, forcing Azriel to forget every word he was going to say. She climbed over to him atop the blankets, and straddled his waist.

Azriel’s hand, the one that was not in the sling, reached to her abdomen, brushing over the small bump that had formed.

“There’s a baby in there,” he whispered, eyes bright.

Elain smiled. “Yes. Our baby.”

“Hmmm,” Azriel grinned, then whispered. “I cannot wait to meet you, little one.”

Elain picked up Azriel’s hand from her stomach and pressed his palm to her lips. 

“I know you said I was in no condition to fuck, but you are truly not helping the situation, whatsoever,” Azriel mumbled. 

Elain laughed, softly, guiding his hand to her breast. They had become significantly larger, Azriel thought, than they had been when he left. He brushed his thumb over her nipple, leaving her to take in a deep, steady breath. 

“You should keep perfectly still,” Elain repeated, undoing the buttons of his trousers and tugging them down, until they were discarded onto the floor. “Rest.”

Azriel watched her every move, amused, enticed. 

Elain leaned down to kiss him, softly on the mouth, then down his neck, to his shoulder, just below his collarbone, and down his chest. He closed his eyes as she kissed around the stitching that had been holding his side together. 

Her fingers brushed down his abdomen with a teasing gentleness, then she stroked him, softly.

His eyes remained shut as her tongue slid up the length of his cock.

He groaned, having thought of this moment every day, every night, for the past two months. She took him wholly into her mouth, Azriel only opening his eyes to watch her wet, brown-haired head bobbing up and down. 

Azriel muttered a curse as his head fell back down against the pillow. His free hand reached to the back of her head, fingers wrapping into her hair. He whispered her name, moaning softly. When he started to move his hips, her hands pressed down on him. “Perfectly still.” 

She climbed up his body, one hand pressed against his chest, the other guiding his cock to her opening. Elain pushed him into her, her back arching, head falling back. 

In Hybern, Azriel imagined being intimate with Elain more times than he could count. He would lie awake at night, remembering what it was like to explore her body. None of the times he imagined it, though, compared to the real thing.

Azriel sunk into the bed as she moved her hips, thriving on the soft noises coming from her lips.

He found himself in awe, hoping that he would never have to leave her side again.

~~~~~

Nightfall was approaching quickly. 

Cassian could feel every muscle in his body straining to keep up with his surroundings. At least he had Rhysand, the two of them fought alongside one another as if they were one. 

He could feel the end drawing near, he knew it. He saw much more of his men than Hybern’s, not that Hybern’s men were backing down.

“They are trying to finish off as much of us as they can before nightfall!” Rhysand called.

Cassian nodded, looking around.

It was the same thing, constantly on repeat.

Aim. Fire. Aim. Fire. Aim. Fire. 

He prayed it was the last night, hoped they would not have to wake at dawn and start again.

He was ready to go home.

He was ready to fulfill his promise to Nesta. 

They heard an explosion in the distance. “Fuck!” Rhysand yelled, above the chaos of guns going off and men screaming in agony.

Cassian looked around, scanning the men surrounding him. His men, mostly, those who were not came and fell fairly quickly.

Another explosion sounded. Cassian ducked away, as did the men around him, although it was across the battlefield. 

This is how it would end, then. Hybern would surrender, but they would kill as many of them as possible before they did so. 

Another explosion.

The ground beneath Cassian’s feet shook.

“Rhysand!” Cassian called, just as men began to run back toward the valley, toward camp. “Rhys!”

He looked around, frantically.

He couldn’t spot him, anywhere. Not through the chaos of retreat, there were too many men running around him.

Cassian joined the movement, eyes still wandering. “Rhysand!”

Nothing.

Cassian’s heart began pounding.

Another explosion sounded, this one so close Cassian could feel the impact rack through his body.

“Fuck,” he cried, looking around, moving with the crowd of soldiers. “Rhysand!”

Stay together. Stay together. Stay together.

Their mantra echoed through his mind. 

“Cassian!”

Cassian swung himself around and caught Rhysand’s eyes, wide and full of terror as he, too, was pushed back by his own soldiers.

Cassian started to push his way toward his friend, but another soldier grabbed Cassian by his jacket. “The fuck are you doing? Back to camp! Hybern’s men are gone, but they will blow up every inch of this land trying to kill us all before nightfall! We won, now haul ass!”

Cassian jerked out of the soldier’s arms, still trying to dodge around everyone else, covered in dirt and blood. He did not pass one man that was not exhausted, was not ready for it all to be over, was not covered in filth. 

They had won.

He had to make sure he and Rhysand made it back to camp, then they could go home.

He could keep his promise.

He would keep his promise.

Stay together. Stay together. Stay together.

“Rhysand!”

“Cassian!”

Cassian looked around, chest heaving.

Stay together. Stay together.

Rhysand was behind him, just as another explosion sent men and dirt flying nearby. Rhysand ducked, as did the men around him, arms over their heads, protecting themselves from the debris.

Stay together.

It was chaos.

Too many men, too close together, not enough room.

No direction, none but fall back.

Men were tripping over bodies, pushing one another out of the way, trying to drag their fellow man back.

Fall back.

Cassian’s world was moving in slow motion.

Rhysand was running. He saw Cassian. He was moving. Cassian was moving. 

Fall back.

He had made Nesta a promise.

Cassian held Rhysand’s gaze, hazel and violet eyes meeting in silent conversation. 

Stay together.

Another explosion sounded.

The world went dark. 

~~~~~

@throne-of-ashes-and-beauty @mariamuses @a-happybird @amusicalbookworm @manoncrochanblackbeak @alifletcher2012 @candid-confetti @fandoms-everywhere-united @mis-lil-red@littlehoneyybee @abillionlittlepieces @impossiblescissorspeachpaper @awesomelena555 @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @tswaney17 @jemma-nessian-and-elriel @rhysandsrightknee @gendryaforthemasses @dayanna-hatter @thebluemartini @welcometothespeaknowworldtour @julemmaes @christiashadows @sleeping-and-books @itsme-malin @agnez312 @cat5313 @amren-courtofdreams @chemica @empress-ofbloodshed @islamonna @illyrianbeauty  @sleeping-and-books @queenofxhearts @sleeping-and-books @aedionashryver-wolfofthenorth @queenofillea1 @mynewdreamwasyou @levivlio @hellolenas @burritowithfeels @that-other-pineapple @girl-who-reads-the-books @raghad-50725@musicmaam @rowaelinforeverworld @negativenesta  @welcometothespeaknowworldtour @gloriouspaintercreatorbandit@sannelovesreading @nerdperson524 @ireallyshouldsleeprn @nerdperson524 @mariamuses @gorl-power @booklover242 @rowaelinforeverworld @regular-nessian-trash @izou1204 @aelin-rowan-whitehorn @opheliatheemerald @eversincebeirut @musicmaam @ladybookwrm​ @santas-dwynwen​ @starryandbooks​ @candid-confetti​ @avenrebekah​ @awkward-avocado-s​ 

[harrisongslimited]

An Impossible Task - John Wick Fanfic

A/N - **18+ readers only please** Smut.

T/W - sexual content, swearing, angst, implied violence.

Chapter 6

Opening the door to his hotel room, John stepped aside to let Cassie in first and she turned around to face him after he closed and locked the door. He watched her carefully as she tossed her coat on a chair.

Finally, she spoke up. “Well, let me check your chest first.”

John took off his suit coat and placed it over Cassie’s in the chair. He never took his eyes off her as he pulled the turtleneck up and over his head and placed it with his suit coat. Cassie silently walked over to him.

She checked the stab wound by his collarbone first and told him everything was healing properly. Her eyes followed the line of his chest to his right side and found the gunshot wound healing well also.

Neither one of them moved nor spoke. He was going to have to remove his pants in order for Cassie to check the stab wound on his thigh, but standing inches from him, Cassie remained silent and John didn’t move.

Time seemed to stand still as the filtered dusky sun light slowly moved across the room through the big front window. The room was large but classically simple with a king sized bed covered in a black and white comforter, matching the curtains on the window. There was a big credenza against the far wall with a large television on top and a dresser next to that. On another wall was a book shelf with 2 matching chairs, one of them holding Cassie’s and John’s coats.

John finally stood before her, his hands slowly came up to either side of her face. Automatically, her hands rose to rest on his bare chest. As John leaned down, Cassie’s eyes closed and his smooth lips gently brushed hers.

Releasing her but never taking his eyes off her, his thumbs made their way lightly across her cheeks, working their way down to run across her lips. Cassie’s eyes were watering as she looked up at him and her arms made their way from his chest to up and around his neck.

John’s forehead came down to meet hers and time was quiet and still while Cassie waited patiently. She felt his hair tumble over her cheeks.

“I was married once,” he said barely over a whisper in a low, husky voice. “I was married once but she died. Five years ago.”

Cassie remained motionless as she answered, “I’m very sorry.” Her forehead still touching his she asked, “What do you need? What will help you?”

John didn’t look at her.

“…not to be alone,” he murmured.

With her arms around his neck, Cassie’s head came to rest against the side of his cheek. She felt his hands slowly slip around to her lower back and his head fell against her shoulder. He was hugging her so tightly, she almost had trouble catching her breath.  Unable to hold back, Cassie’s hand went into the back of his hair and combed it through with her fingers. “Like goddamn satin,” she said to herself.

Her hand was lightly tangled in his hair when his face rose from her shoulder to look her in her dark brown eyes. Again his hands went around her face and his eyes closed as he leaned down to kiss her warmly. A feral intensity was building up in him that, try as he might, he couldn’t ignore.  His arms went around her body and completely enveloped her. Waves of heat and desire flooded over him as his lips pressed Cassie’s over and over. Instinctively, his open mouth went to her neck and he tasted her sweet, ivory skin as he gently rocked her back and forth. All the senses that he forced to lay dormant for the last 5 years were coming back alive in his mind and body. There was a bit of fear mixed in there too—fear that his passion would overwhelm Cassie and she would pull away from him. It had just been so damn long, so damn long. In response to his thoughts, his mouth found hers and he kissed her hard. Cassie’s mouth opened to him naturally, effortlessly and his tongue hungrily slipped into her mouth.  A soft hum came from Cassie’s throat.

John’s hands began a slow, intense trip down the sides of her body, his thumbs slipping down the sides of her breasts, all the while his open mouth closed on hers. Passing her hips, both hands went to her backside and pulled her closer into him.  Cassie felt the hardness of him against her and she felt alive with desire, butterflies dancing in between her legs. Last night she worried he would kill her in her sleep, now she worried he’d stop doing what he was doing out of loyalty to his deceased wife.

He released her backside and slid his hands up and under her sweater feeling her warm, soft, silky skin.  Cassie’s raised her arms as John pulled the sweater over her head, off her arms and tossed it to the floor. She shivered slightly, not out of being cold, but as an automatic reaction to his touch.  John’s hands continued down the front of her body until he reached the waistband of her jeans. His mouth back on hers, he unbuttoned and unzipped her jeans only breaking their kiss in order to help her slip out of them. Taking her hands, he stepped back and under a heavy gaze admired her body, his mouth then taking hers again.

Slowly, his hands made their way around her waist as his tongue searched her mouth ardently.  Her head was reeling; she was dizzy with the feel of his hands on her bare skin. They were powerful hands but tenderly slid across her body to find the spot on her lower back that made her knees buckle. Cassie was lost…in his touch, in his kiss.

Cassie’s hand slipped between their bodies and followed the center of his chest to his abdomen and down to the front of his pants. When she took him in her hand, even through his trousers, he sighed heavily, took a deep breath and placed his forehead on her shoulder.

“Cassie,” he whispered.

He whispered her name again as she unbuttoned and unzipped his pants, allowing them to fall softly to the floor. Stepping backwards, his hands in hers, Cassie sat down on the bed and swung her legs around, shifting herself to the center of the bed. John followed her and rolled to his side next to her, his hand on her stomach.

Their eyes locked together as a fire grew between them, a fire of urgency and insistence.  Cassie leaned toward John on her side and he placed his hand behind her back to unhook her bra, the black lace falling off her easily. John’s mouth lightly enclosed her breast as his hand slid down between her black panties and skin. Cassie’s hand went into his hair and she combed through it sensually with her fingers.

“John,” she purred. His finger slipped into her easily, then a second. Cassie felt every movement of his fingers and took several deep breaths, her hips bucking into his hand. When he withdrew his fingers, he began to make circular motions that caused her body to arc toward him. “Shit, John,” she said with a shiver.  His hand then slid up her body to her hip.

He kissed the cleavage between her breasts and began kissing her other breast, taking his time teasing it playfully with his tongue. Then with light kisses, John continued down her body until he reached her panties, and he removed them in one quick motion as Cassie’s lifted her hips. John’s mouth was on her in an instant and Cassie writhed under him, her mind going blank as he pleasured her.  A guttural noise escaped from the back of her throat as her head tipped backward, her eyes closed. Hearing her, feeling her, tasting her, John felt as though he was getting lost in his senses and felt himself finally let go of the past. John wanted Cassie, he needed her and he felt alive again.

The only thought Cassie was having was what John was doing to her body and how much longer she could stand him not being inside her. The sound in her ears was like a volcano wanting to erupt as her body automatically swayed under his tongue . Suddenly, instinctively, her hands flew out alongside her body and grabbed onto the black and white comforter as the pressure built up. Fisting up her hands around the material, her breathing fast, she held on until her back arched in one violent jerk and she began trembling.

“John,” she called out as her hands began reaching for him in between her thighs and the shuddering slowed and stopped.  John lifted his face to look at her and smiled…a smile that would mean something only to the two of them. Easing himself up, he began to leave a trail of light, sweet kisses all the way up to her neck.  

Cassie’s hands went to either side of his face as her breathing slowed in order to look at him closely. “There was a song,” she whispered. ”from the 80’s I think, that reminds me of you.”

“What was that Cass?” he asked, nibbling on her neck.

“’Your kiss is on my list of the best things in life’,” she told him, pulling him tightly against her warm body.

“Oh, baby,” he murmured. “Oh, baby.”

Cassie kissed the side of his face then leaned John gently onto his back. He happily turned himself over into her hands. Sitting up, she straddled him across his waist and leaned forward to place kisses on his neck. She began to float butterfly kisses across his chest, causing him to look at her to see what she was doing. Cassie danced her long eyelashes down his skin while she blew air lightly out of her mouth. Goosebumps broke out all over his body.

“Holy shit,” he exclaimed as his body responded to her.

“Butterfly kisses,” she told him with a smile and then continued down his chest to his stomach, down to his abdomen.

The sound of a locomotive filled his ears as pressure built up in every cell of his body.  John wanted to quickly lean her on her back, enter her, and buck his hips into her and it took everything in him to come back in from the ledge. His erection was still confined in his boxer shorts as he felt Cassie rim her fingers around the edge of the elastic waistband. She kissed every scar and bruise he had as she carefully removed his shorts and watching him, tossed them playfully over her shoulder. John laughed and thought he had never laughed so freely in 5 years.

Cassie laid her hand at the base of his erection and ran her tongue around the tip and up his length. John sucked in a breath and moaned, “Fuck, Cass” as he closed his eyes and rolled his head back. It had been nearly 6 years since a woman touched him like this, 6 long, sad, lonely years, and his hands went into Cassie’s hair as she took him into her mouth. John felt a deep need to touch her as a flood of emotion over took him and he savored every feeling, every movement, every breath from her.

She took him deeply to the back of her throat and began an easy, leisurely up and down rhythm. Hearing his breath quicken under a moan, and feeling his hips buck into her, she increased the tension and built up the cadence. It wasn’t long before Cassie felt him move away from her slightly, her signal that he had taken just about as much as he could before coming undone.

Cassie sat up and used her hand to guide him into her, then took him deeply. John caught his breath and released a sigh as they built up a rhythm together, John slipping his thumb underneath her to heighten her arousal. He watched her carefully when he was able to temporarily come to his senses. His senses of smell, taste, hearing, feeling and seeing were hyper-sensitive and every move Cassie made sent a shock through his body.  John smelled the light, fruity scent of her shampoo, the taste of her was still on his tongue, he heard her call out his name, he could feel her wrapped around him and he could watch her as her dark brown eyes filled with a need for him. He didn’t realize how much he had missed all his senses coming together with a woman….he had missed the completeness of sex.

Cassie’s heart was beating so hard, she thought John could probably see it through her chest. Every nerve ending was electrified and her skin was on fire.  Her mind held no information other than the feelings in her body. It was never like this for her. Never. She didn’t even fathom it could be like this with her body reacting in ways it never had before.

She was at her breaking point when she called out, “Dear God, John,” and her body came to an intense, uncontrollable orgasm. The shaking of her body and the tensing of her internal muscles caused John to moan, “Cassie, baby,” as he released himself inside her in an intense burst. His thrusting slowed and finally stopped as he sat up to meet her, his hands traveling up her back to the sides of her face. Breathing hard, they kissed warmly and smiled at each other.

John’s head tipped forward and came to rest on Cassie’s, their breathing still faster than normal. “Baby,” he said kissing the tip of her nose and pulling her down on him. Cassie curled up at his side with her head on his shoulder, John’s arm wrapped around her protectively, as he caressed her shoulder.

John felt her shiver slightly. “Are you cold?”

Cassie nodded and kissing her hair, he helped her move so they could wrap themselves in the comforter.

It was silent. There wasn’t any sound from the traffic on the street or the heater in the room or from the hallway. Finally Cassie spoke up.  “Do you regret this?” she asked cautiously, her voice shaky.

“No,” he answered quickly, pulling her in to hug her and kiss her temple. “No.”

[redinkofshame]

... go the spoils

Direct sequel to this, which I posted like 5 minutes ago. Magic victory sex to follow the victory kiss because I’m a thirsty bitch

nsfw, obviously. For @dadrunkwriting

Cedric expected Cassandra to set him down shortly after jokingly tossing him over her shoulder; he was at least a stone heavier than her, and they were both exhausted from slaying the dragon besides. Surely by the time they were out of sight of their companions...

But she didn't. She was still carrying him as the Inquisition scouts who has been waiting at a safe distance moved past them to secure the area. He gave them a little wave so they'd know he was uninjured. Other than his pride, at least.

"You can put be down now," he ventured, squirming a bit. His platemail was grating against hers uncomfortably. 

Her grip tightened with a grunt. "You wish."

He sure did. His pulse was slowing after the battle, but the regeneration potion coursing through him kept him antsy. 

They made it all the way to the nearby camp. A surprised officer paused their midday meal, looking at them wide-eyed. Cedric managed to make eye contact with them. He grinned and jerked his head, indicating the officer should find somewhere else to be. 

The officer was struggling not to laugh as they left, taking their lunch with them. Cedric wasn't positive he was lucky enough for this to go how he hoped it would... But a little privacy never hurt. 

Cassandra set him on his feet at last, right in front of their tent. As soon as both his boots hit the ground he tackled her, shoulder first, wrapping an arm around her waist as they fell through the open tent flaps behind her. They landed in a tangle of limbs and armor on the bedrolls left out this morning. 

She was kissing him before he had the chance to catch his breath, pulling at the laces of his trousers. 

Maker's breath... 

She was in a hurry, but he wanted to see more of her, all of her. When they traveled, their lovemaking was usually limited to hushed trysts in the dead of night while the world slept. This time the sunlight filtering through the canvas would make her glow. 

He shifted so he wouldn't crush her as he undid the buckles of her breastplate, his fingers finding the now-familiar straps as her kissed her. She moved so she could remove his overcoat as she kissed him. They tugged and pulled at belts and bracers, lips and teeth finding lips and skin until they were both bare down to their stockings. He wondered if it was the dragon's breath or the resistance potion that made her taste like lightning.  

He was above her as they moved together-- not penetrating, just feeling warm skin over flexing muscle, just feeling alive. 

He could spend forever just kissing this woman, again and again. It never grew old. Especially when she was writhing beneath him like this.

But then he felt the familiar press of her callused palm against his scarred shoulder and grinned. He obediently rolled with her until his back was on the blankets and she was astride him; he was her conquest after all, her prize for saving the day. 

But when she lowered herself on him he cried out-- each pulse of the regeneration potion in his blood increase his sensitivity tenfold... It was more intense than anything he'd felt before, the rest of his senses practically going numb as pleasure shot through him. 

"Cass--I... The potion, it-- fuck, you feel so good, too good to..."

His words only encouraged her, and she smiled, though she kept it slow. He tried to adjust to the new feeling. She braced her hands not on the ground beside him but on his chest, pinning him to the ground. When he could open his eyes he saw the sheen of sweat glistening on her skin, his too probably, and he didn't stop himself from ogling her as she rose above him. Maker forgive him, her tits were incredible. He couldn't keep his hands away. 

Just when he thought he couldn't take another moment Cassandra moved both hands to trace her fingertips along the stubble of his jaw. "Not yet, me love."

Her words, breathless and accented, had the opposite effect she intended, adding fuel to the fire instead of dousing it. 

He sat up, bracing himself on one arm so he could kiss her again... And so she could rub against him as she rode him. Her noises became louder and her speed increase, the added friction having the desired effect. For her. 

It was the opposite effect of what he'd intended for him.

Cedric tried to hold back but the pulsating magic energy made it impossible. He came hard as she continued bringing them together, his face buried in her neck, waiting for the intensity to wear off... But it didn't. His erection didn't either; each heartbeat only seemed to make him harder. 

He forced his attention away from himself. He bucked his hips with hers, steadily, roughly. They were both grunting as gasping by the time she tossed her head back in her own ecstasy. She shouted, louder than usual, beautiful and fierce as she always was. He might have come again as well, but he couldn't be sure.

Gradually, they stilled, and as they caught their breath he smiled. Cassandra smiled with him, and bent forward so their foreheads rested together. 

"Sorry. I tried to wait," he said after a breathless moment, and was rewarded with her warm chuckle. 

"You did splendid, as always."

"Somehow that sounds less sincere every time you say it," he teased, and then he kissed her again, slow and lazy. He wished he had time to go again, but he could feel the last of the magical boost fading away at last, leaving him utterly spent. He settled for making a mental note to try that trick again back at Skyhold. For now he simply held her, in the light of day, enjoying their closeness for as long as this moment of peace would last. 

[theladyofdeath]

Castaway {ACOTAR/Chapter 5}

Word Count: 4,002

Summary:  A modern-day University AU, from the A Court of Thorns and Roses universe. All characters belong to Sarah J. Maas. The idea for this fanfic hailed from prompts sent in by Anonymous, and @queen-archeron. You can read previous chapters here.

Author’s Note: And so our story begins. Let me know what you think. :)

Elain loved dinner parties.

But preparing for them was stressful.

At first, it was only supposed to be her, Nesta, Feyre, Feyre’s new boyfriend, and Azriel, who she invited to everything. But the guest count quickly went from four to six, as Cassian was now joining them, and so was Lucien.

She felt nervous, inviting Lucien to such an intimate gathering, but it had been brought up on their date the night before, and Elain felt rude for not inviting him.

So, she did.

Now, it was four o’clock in the afternoon, and she was rushing to get everything done by six. Azriel had promised to help, but he got stuck in traffic on his way home from work and had still not come by.

So, that left Elain to rummage frantically through her kitchen. So far, she had moved all of her finished designs into her bedroom, and out of the living room, stacking the tubs from the floor to the ceiling. She’d dusted, vacuumed, and filled a vase with freshly cut flowers from her teeny balcony-garden. She hadn’t been spending too much time at home lately, but she hadn’t realized how filthy the place had gotten in the last few weeks.

It didn’t help that she was a neat freak.

She spent the afternoon cleaning and scrubbing until the place was shining and smelling like lavender, leaving Elain exhausted by the time the clock struck four.

She’d just finished cutting up tomatoes for their pasta when a soft knock came from outside the door, followed by Azriel calling her name. “Elain?”

Rushing to the door, Elain threw her hair up in a ponytail before opening it to find Azriel….

Quite dirty.

His hair was a mess, and grease covered nearly every inch of his body. His white tee had a hole in it, just beneath the collar, and his blue jeans were stained with so many different things that Elain nearly went into cardiac arrest.

“Hey,” he smiled, sheepishly. “Sorry. I was going to take a shower before I came, but our water isn’t working. Cass is calling the landlord, but until then…..”

“Oh!” she moved aside, catching his drift. “Come in, come in. Use mine. Take your time, I’m doing good.” No, you’re not. You’re stressed. Keep cooking. Move, Elain! “Besides. Can’t have you coming to dinner looking like that.”

Azriel raised a knowing brow, a soft smile playing on his lips. “Don’t worry. I won’t touch anything on my way to the bathroom.”

“Good,” she said, closing the door behind him. “Don’t take forever, though. I need you to grill the chicken.”

“I am the grill master.”

“The grill master is getting a little too cocky.”

Azriel grinned as he kicked off his shoes, careful to keep them on the welcome mat before strutting to the bathroom.

Elain could hear the water begin to run as she took the chicken out of the fridge, and placed it on the counter, sprinkling a series of seasonings on the breasts as she called for Siri to start playing her “Elain needs to relax” playlist.

The timer went off, announcing that the garlic bread was done in the oven. After taking it out of the oven, and cutting off a slice for herself from the loaf, she wrapped it in foil and put it back in the oven, that had been turned off, just to stay warm.

After devouring the bread, because cooking made her terribly hungry, Elain went to make the sauce. The recipe was her mother’s creation, and Elain loved making it every chance she had.

Cooking was a lost art. And Elain loved it. There were three things that she had to do to feel fulfilled: design, garden, and cook.

Her first three loves.

A knock came from the door just as Elain poured all her ingredients into the pot and began to let the sauce simmer on the stovetop.

She glanced at the clock – it was only 4:30.

But when she looked out the peephole, she saw Lucien standing there.

He knocked again as she fell back against the door. “Uh, one second! I’m…..indecent!”

He could probably barely hear her over the music blaring through her Bluetooth speakers, but he replied with an okay nonetheless as she ran back into her bedroom.

She took her hair out of her ponytail and gave it a quick run through with her fingers. He was early, way too early. Elain hadn’t even had time to get ready. After tossing her tee-shirt onto the bed, and kicking off her jeans, she quick picked out a sundress before grabbing her lipgloss off her dresser.

She froze, mid-apply, as the smell of garlic radiated off her breath. 

“One second!” she called again, over the music, as she threw open the bathroom door.

Just as Azriel was stepping out of the shower.

She froze.

He froze.

Elain knew she was staring, but she couldn’t stop. She couldn’t move. She couldn’t breathe as she felt her cheeks begin to warm.

He was dripping wet, the earlier grease fully removed from his body. His hair was pushed back from the water, drops dripping down across his forehead, down his neck, down the tattoos that ran across his chest, and down his arms.

She could see the scars on his hands, that she had only seen once before, when he had confided in her not even a year prior as to why he always wore his gloves.

Her eyes did not falter until she they traveled further down.

Her cheeks felt like they were on fire at the sight of him.

“I-“ she stammered as Azriel quickly grabbed the washrag he had been using to cover himself. “Sorry, I- I was going to brush my teeth, I - I didn’t – I forgot – I mean, I didn’t forget you were here, I just – my mind. It slipped my mind. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Sorry. I’m –“

“Elain.” He didn’t sound mad, but amused – although he had begun to blush, too. “Stop apologizing.”

“Right,” she said, standing there, awkwardly.

He cleared his throat.

“Oh!” she turned, finally, and quickly covered her face with her hands. “Um, okay, I’ll just…..I’ll wait. Outside. I’ll wait outside.”

Azriel stopped her just before she could step out. “Uh, could you hand me a towel?”

After a deep breath, Elain, with her eyes closed, opened the closet behind the door to retrieve a newly washed towel. She threw it in his general direction as she slowly backed out of the room, shutting the door firmly behind her.

She was embarrassed, yes.

But not because of what she saw, but because of how she felt when she saw it.

She had always thought Azriel was attractive in a cute, sensitive way, but just then….

He was sexy.

She waited to feel that her face had cooled off, and returned to its normal coloring, before greeting Lucien at the door.

“Hey,” she smiled, not inviting him in. “You’re here early.”

“I thought you could use the help,” he insisted. His usual suit was gone, and he was sporting khaki pants and a navy-blue sweater with brown, suede shoes.

Elain hesitated. “Oh, um, that’s kind of you…..but, I don’t think I need any help. Thank you.”

“Are you okay?” he asked, a single red eyebrow arched. “You seem distra-“

He stopped, and Elain knew just what he was thinking as Azriel opened the bathroom door, and stepped out, in nothing but her little, pink bath towel.

Lucien didn’t look jealous, though. There was nothing to be jealous of. They hadn’t even shared a kiss yet, even if their second date had gone better than the first.

“Oh,” he said, surprised. “I didn’t realize you had company. I should have called before I came.”

“No!” Elain replied, quickly. Too quickly. “He was just –“

“Nothing happened. I live across the hall,” Azriel said, calmly. He was always so calm, especially when Elain wasn’t. “My shower is out of order. Elain was kind enough to let me use hers.”

Lucien blinked, as Elain glanced back and forth between the two males, both who towered over her, and stood within arm’s reach. “I know you from somewhere.”

Azriel responded immediately. “I’m Rhysand’s brother.”

He didn’t have to elaborate. Recognition shone in Lucien’s eyes. They stared each other down, and as Elain looked down, mostly out of discomfort, she realized that Azriel had managed to hide his hands with his balled up dirty clothes.

As Elain took a deep breath, she inhaled the sweet scent of her vanilla body wash radiating off Azriel’s body, sending an unknown feeling through her stomach.

“I’ll be back to help with the chicken,” Azriel said, and it took Elain a second to realize he was talking to her.

He swept past Lucien and snuck into his door across the hall.

His boots still sat on her mat.

“Well,” Lucien cleared his throat, and graced her with a smile. “This should be a fun dinner, then.”

Elain just nodded as nausea, and uncertainty, coursed through her body.

“Oh! Come in,” she said, at last, finally greeting him as he deserved to be greeted.

Nothing happened, Azriel had said.

Elain wondered why that left her feeling so disappointed.

 Cassian joined Azriel on the balcony, where he sat watching Azriel grill six chicken breasts.

“Do you think they’re even hitting it off?” he asked, about Elain and Lucien. “They don’t even act like they’re into each other.”

Azriel didn’t answer, he just gave his brother a pointed look before returning to his duty.

“I mean,” Cassian continued, “she saw you naked before him.”

From the next look he received, Cassian knew Azriel regretted telling him the story of what had happened earlier that afternoon. He had to tell him something, though.

Cassian was sitting on the couch when Azriel walked into his apartment, carrying his clothes, wearing nothing but Elain’s pink bath towel.

“Did she say anything? Was she impressed?” Cassian wiggled his eyebrows. “Did she linger?”

“No.”

Cassian grinned. “She did, didn’t she?”

He swore he saw Azriel crack a smile before rolling his eyes.

The balcony door slid open and Elain peeked her head out. Her voice was smaller than usual when she asked, “How’s it coming?”

“Good,” Azriel responded, as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. “Should be done in about five minutes.”

“Good.” Elain loosened a breath. “Everyone else should be arriving soon. Oh! There’s Feyre, now.”

She closed the door without another word, just as Cassian caught sight of who had just entered. Behind Feyre, who looked an awful lot like her older sisters, was Tamlin.

“Is that O’Brien?”

Azriel nodded, without even turning around. “You’ve missed a lot with your horrific amounts of sleep the last few days.”

“Wait…..Feyre is the one Rhys was defending? When he got punched? By Tamlin? Elain’s sister, your Elain, is dating Tamlin? Our greatest enemy?”

Azriel chuckled. “Stop being so dramatic. Besides, it’s been years since we’ve even seen Tamlin. He could have changed since high school.”

Cassian blinked. “Did you miss the part where he punched Rhys in the face?”

Azriel didn’t reply.

“He still looks like a prick,” Cassian mumbled, as Tamlin embraced Lucien.

He’d forgotten about Lucien after all these years, the shadow that trailed Tamlin all throughout high school.

Something didn’t feel right about being in the same room as them, much less sharing a dinner table.

“Do you think –“ Cassian’s words froze on his lips, as the front door opened, and the last occupant trailed in.

He brought himself to his foot as he maneuvered his crutches around the balcony, and entered back into Elain’s apartment.

“There’s my future wife.”

She froze, and tensed up, at the sound of his voice behind her.

Feyre gave them both a questionable look, then shrugged, and continued her conversation with Tamlin.

When Nesta turned, her gray-blue eyes were full of ice. “Who invited you?”

“I did,” Elain smiled from behind her. “I believe you two have met.”

“Unfortunately,” Nesta mumbled.

“You missed our date yesterday.”

She shrugged, as she excused herself and hustled to the restroom.

“One day,” Cassian winked at Elain, who just smiled. “She’ll come around.”

Elain agreed with him, if only to make him feel better. “Have you met my sister, Feyre? Feyre, this is Cassian. Azriel’s brother. Cass, this is Feyre, and her boyfriend, Tamlin.”

“Hey,” he smiled at Feyre. “It’s nice to meet you.” Then, he looked at Tamlin, and gave him as polite of a nod as he could manage, in which Tamlin returned.

“Okay, then,” Elain blurted, once a silence had formed. “Shall we all sit? It looks like the chicken is done.”

“Sure,” Lucien smiled, trying to insert a good vibe, no doubt.

Elain sat at the head of the table, with Lucien on her right. Cassian left the seat to Elain’s left empty for Azriel, and plopped down in the chair next to it, across from Feyre and Tamlin.

The seat next to him was the last one left empty.

He had a feeling Nesta wouldn’t be pleased about that.

 She had gone. She had gone to the park. Had seen him sitting on the bench, waiting for her, just as he said he would be.

She hadn’t left him waiting. She’d been there, within view, but she got scared.

She took three steps toward him, down the brick path at Harris Street Park, and froze.

Tears formed in her eyes, causing her vision to go blurry, and she couldn’t.

She wouldn’t put herself in that position, wouldn’t put him in that position. She wouldn’t make him think that she was normal, that she was willing to love another human being, and be loved in return.

She couldn’t love. She didn’t know how.

It was better this way. Better that he thought she was a monster, as most people did.

It was better than knowing the truth.

He could never know the truth.

So, she turned around. She left him there, and got in her car, and went home.

Alone.

Always completely, utterly alone.

 They ate in silence.

Feyre knew very little about Tamlin’s connections to the two boys, who looked awfully similar to one another, sitting across the table. According to Elain, Cassian, Azriel, Mor, and Rhysand had grown up together. They’d been adopted in their early teens, becoming the only family that they had left.

Now, their connection to Tamlin? Feyre had no idea, other than the fact that they’d attended the same high school.

He had told her as much on the drive from campus to Elain’s apartment.

We all went to East Velaris High. He said it with a tightness in his jaw. We weren’t a part of the same groups.

And he’d left it at that.

Yet, as they sat at the dinner table – Lucien, Tamlin, and Feyre on one side, Nesta, Cassian, and Azriel on the other, and Elain at the head – the tension was overwhelming.

Feyre waited for anyone to say something. Anything. But no one did, not until Feyre had eaten the last bite of her mother’s famous chicken scampi.

“So, Elain, you and Lucien have been seeing each other?” Tamlin asked. He’d barely touched any of his food, and Feyre knew Elain well enough that she was offended, but too polite to show it.

Feyre swore she saw Azriel tense from across the table, if only for a second.

“We’ve been getting to know one another,” Lucien confirmed, on Elain’s behalf. “She’s lovely company.”

Elain simply smiled before taking another bite of her food.

“What have you been up to since high school?” It was Cassian who spoke, his question directed at Feyre’s companions.

“I’m the president of Beta Theta Pi. Getting my degree in business in the Spring,” Tamlin answered, shortly.

When it seemed he was done, Lucien cleared his throat. “I’m working at my father’s law firm. Right now as an assistant, but hoping to one day become a lawyer, myself.”

“Isn’t your father an ass?” Cassian asked. There was no malice, just simply curiosity.

Elain nearly choked on her food.

Lucien pursed his lips. “Some would say so.”

“Hmmm.” Was all Cassian said, before he helped himself to more of Elain’s cooking.

“What have you two been doing since high school?” Tamlin asked, leaning back in his chair and tossing an arm over Feyre’s shoulder.

“I’m a personal trainer,” Cassian replied, mouth full.

Tamlin barked a laugh. “What an interesting career choice.”

Cassian swallowed before leaning over the table, resting his elbows on top of the tablecloth. “I make good money. I’m fit enough to kick your ass any day of the week. And, I can assure you that I am far more successful than being the president of a party-frat.”

“Can we please stop saying ass at the dinner table?” Elain whispered, staring into her plate.

Tamlin’s cocky grin faded as he stared at Cassian, before dismissing him entirely. “Azriel? How about you?”  

Lucien glanced from Azriel’s hazel eyes, down to his gloves, back to his face again. “Still wearing those gloves, I see.”

There was something lingering in his voice as he spoke that suggested he knew more of the reasoning behind why than everyone else.

Azriel ignored his comment, and he seemed uncomfortable as he replied to Tamlin. “I’m a mechanic.”

“Should have known you’d go after the dirty work,” Tamlin said.

Feyre gave him an incredulous look as Azriel’s eyes hardened. “What is that supposed to mean?”

Tamlin didn’t answer. Instead, he asked, “And what is Rhys up to these days? And Mor? Oh, Lucien, does Eris still –“

Azriel dropped his fork to his plate with a clatter. His jaw had gone stiff as those hazel eyes lurked with shadows.

Scooting an inch closer to his brother, Cassian asked, “Why don’t you tell us about your family, Tam? What’s daddy up to these days?”

Tamlin rose to his feet, Lucien not far behind, a hand rested gently on his friend’s forearm.

“Calm down, Tam,” Lucien whispered, barely audible.

Elain looked back and forth between Lucien and Tamlin, an unknown expression crossing her features – confusion, recognition, curiosity.

“Maybe we should leave,” Feyre said, rising to her feet. “Elain, thank you for dinner, I’ll call –“

“No, you should stay.” It was the first thing Nesta had said all evening. She was watching Tamlin as she, too, stood. There was a fire in her eyes that spoke of death. “Your company, however, should go.”

“Where he goes, so do I,” was all Feyre responded.

Nesta just shook her head before picking up her plate and carrying it into the kitchen.

Cassian quickly followed her, leaving Azriel and Elain staring at the risen trio.

“Thank you for dinner,” Feyre said, again, before taking Tamlin’s hand.

Lucien was frozen. He looked to Elain, then back at Tamlin.

“Go,” Elain said, quietly. “If you want to go, go.”

He looked to Azriel, who was watching Elain, before nodding. “I’ll call.”

Elain didn’t say anything else as Feyre and Tamlin, hand in hand, and Lucien Vanserra, left.

 He was sitting out on the balcony, his foot propped up on the lawn chair across from the one he was sitting in.

Nesta watched him from inside, cautiously.

“Why don’t you go say hi?” Elain asked, making her jump.

“Sorry,” she mumbled. “I didn’t hear you coming.”

“He’s into you,” Elain said, in way of response.

“And Azriel is into you,” Nesta snapped, “but I don’t see you making a move.”

Elain’s cheeks turned pink, and Nesta’s hostility instantly faded. “Oh my - Did you make a move?”

“No,” she replied, quickly. “But I may have walked in on him. In the shower.”

Nesta blinked, urging her to continue.

Elain’s voice rose ten octaves as she said, “He showers naked.”

“You saw him?” Nesta said, putting emphasis on him.

Elain nodded, burying her face in her hands. “I’ve hardly talked to him since. I’m mortified. And he is not into me. We’re just friends.”

“And?”

“And what?”

“And?”

When Elain looked back up at her sister, her entire face was the shade of a cherry. “He’s…..well sized.”

Nesta couldn’t help it – she laughed. She howled, as she covered her mouth, as Elain begged her to hush.

And it had been a long, long while since Nesta Archeron laughed.

She had forgotten what it was like. To laugh. To find humor in something. The tingly sensation that swept through her body as it shook with giggles.

The clattering of cutlery against glass broke them out of their conversation.

Azriel was by the table, picking up the dishes, and carrying them into the kitchen.

“I should help him.”

Nesta nodded, her laughter having faded into oblivion, as she watched her sister disappear into the kitchen.

She looked back toward the balcony, to find that Cassian was watching her. After a deep breath, she opened the sliding door and allowed the cool, Autumn, night air to greet her.

“Hey,” he said, surprised.

“Hey,” Nesta said, plainly. “That was an interesting dinner.”

“Yeah,” he said, guiltily. “I should apologize to Elain.”

“It’s not your fault he was acting like a prick.”

Cassian raised his brows at the vulgarity falling from her lips, but nodded.

“What happened between all of you, anyway?”

Cassian grinned. “Maybe I’ll tell you someday, when you show up for one of our dates.”

Well. That was short lived.

Nesta rolled her eyes. “One rejection wasn’t enough for you?”

“I’m not one to give up, Nesta Archeron,” he said, with a wink. “I’m going to be waiting by the pond at Harris Street Park every day until you show up.”

She shook her head. “You’re impossible.”

With that, she turned around to storm back into the house.

He drove her crazy, with that lopsided grin and easy-going, flirtatious attitude.

Just before she could shut the sliding door, leaving him alone on the balcony beneath the stars, he heard him call, “Every day! I’ll be there at noon!”

 Azriel was scrubbing at the dishes when Elain walked into the kitchen.

They hadn’t talked much that afternoon, after the incident. Azriel wasn’t all that embarrassed. It was uncomfortable, sure, but he could tell Elain was completely mortified.

“Hey,” she said, quietly, coming up beside him. “Need help?”

“Sure,” he smiled. His gloves had been placed in his back pocket, but he didn’t feel the need to hide his hands. Not around Elain.

Azriel stood on the soapy side of the farmhouse sink while Elain stood in front of the other, ready to rinse and dry.

“I’m sorry about earlier,” she said.

Azriel laughed. “I’m not.”

She practically dropped the plate she was holding as Azriel clarified. “I, uh, didn’t mean it like that. I just meant that it’s not a big deal.”

She nodded, but she was unable to get the site of his bare body out of her mind. She had been thinking about it all afternoon, feeling dirty all the while.

“Az?” she asked, after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

“Hmmm?” he asked, pleasantly.

“Can you tell me what happened?” she asked. The sponge in his hands seemed to move slower as she continued, “Between your family, and Tamlin, and….Lucien.”

He didn’t answer right away, but Elain continued to push. “My family is involved now, too. I need to know. Because what just happened around that table…..was not nothing.”

“I don’t want to ruin anything for you,” he said, simply.

Elain turned off the water and dried her hands. “Stop thinking that I’m a fragile child, Azriel. I’m a grown woman.”

He stopped, at the demand in her voice, the urgency. “I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“I need you to tell me.”

He dried off his hands, leaving the dishes sitting in the warm, soapy water. “You may want to sit.”

Elain was taken back. “Why?”

Azriel ran his fingers through his long, dark hair. “Because there’s a lot to tell.”

Chapter 6 coming soon.

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