#cats screaming and everything i think
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mmm essay about sally and kid gort in the tags (cw for child abuse, mentions of suicide, animal cruelty and a murder attempt. i always hope i don’t have to say this but just in case: i don’t excuse or condone any of her or gort’s behaviour at all.) this is literally not even touching upon everything i have to say because i hit the fucking tag limit lmao. NOBODY READ IT’S BAD BRAINSTORMING I JUST NEEDED TO GET IT OUT SOMEHOW
#thinkin too much about gortie side characters again.#sally this time and why she specifically talks about him the way she does#like dravo is obviously still shitty but to me he was. ‘just ‘neglectful#while sally actively hated and even felt terrorised by her own child#like. it’s not like i don’t understand her at all.#imagine you and your love don’t have much besides each other and your shop and you get pregnant and ready to raise a child#only for it to not be a child he didn’t and doesn’t cry ever and he learns everything so much sooner than most but then he never calls you#his parents and it’s not just a petty thing kids do sometimes you feel that he doesn’t see you as family and the worst part is that you#agree deep down#and as he gets older he doesn’t have any friends and actively rejects the notion of the entire concept#but then as time passes you hear about how he has entire groups of children following him and then several of them commit suicide#and that thing coming to sit with you and dravo at the dinner table says that he did what you did last week when the axe to chop wood broke#and you discarded it and got a new one#and he has these habits of ripping out flowers and making sure that they don’t regrow#and then you hear rumours about a friend’s daughter’s cat disappearing and think nothing of it#until you visit his tree house a month later and find a declawed cat and birds with clipped wings and crushed bugs that he keeps fondly#and then you see him with other children and they don’t know and his face is different and body language is entirely different#and were it not for the fact that you know better you would never see anything but a normal child#and you know that you are one who painstakingly brought this thing that should not be into the world and so you decide to end it all one da#and go to him as he’s asleep with the knife shaking in your hand#but he cries when you’re above him! screams at the top of his lungs!#so you beg for forgiveness even though you don’t deserve it through tears but as soon as the knife is put away you see the act drop and fee#his clever fingers having twisted your brain inside and out and you know that you can do nothing#and so the opportunity arises to at least remove him out of your life if not everyone’s lives and you take it immediately.#but you heard him talk. how he will close his fist around the world one day. and you know that it is not a matter of if but when.#like. imagine that. jesus dude.#like i hc her as someone that is messy and does not know a lot about life and she certainly wouldn’t have been a good mother but the love#or at least desire to love is there somewhere. and believing that having a child is really the only somewhat meaningful thing she can do#with her life. she’s not some hero or rich or anything of note. so there’s a lot obligation and not genuine desire for family here.#but she never really got the chance to be an actual mother in the first place so. who knows what that might have looked like
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examining a seemingly normal image only to slowly realize the clear signs of AI generated art.... i know what you are... you cannot hide your true nature from me... go back where you came from... out of my sight with haste, wretched and vile husk
#BEGONE!!! *wizard beam blast leaving a black smoking crater in the middle of the tumblr dashboard*#I think another downside to everyone doing everything on phone apps on shitty tiny screens nowadays is the inability to really see details#of an image and thus its easier to share BLATANTLY fake things like.. even 'good' ai art has pretty obvious tells at this point#but especially MOST of it is not even 'good' and will have details that are clearly off or lines that dont make sense/uneven (like the imag#of a house interior and in the corner there's a cabinet and it has handles as if it has doors that open but there#are no actual doors visible. or both handles are slightly different shapes. So much stuff that looks 'normal' at first glance#but then you can clearly tell it's just added details with no intention or thought behind it. a pattern that starts and then just abruptly#doesn't go anywhere. etc. etc. )#the same thing with how YEARS ago when I followed more fashion type blogs on tumblr and 'colored hair' was a cool ''''New Thing''' instead#of being the norm now basically. and people would share photos of like ombre hair designs and stuff that were CLEARLY photoshop like#you could LITERally see the coloring outside of the lines. blurs of color that extend past the hair line to the rest of the image#or etc. But people would just share them regardless and comment like 'omg i wish I could do this to my hair!' or 'hair goallzzzz!! i#wonder what salon they went to !!' which would make me want to scream and correct them everytime ( i did not lol)#hhhhhhggh... literally view the image on anything close to a full sized screen and You Will SEe#I don't know why it's such a pet peeve of mine. I think just as always I'm obsessed with the reality and truth of things. most of the thing#that annoy me most about people are situations in which people are misinterpreting/misunderstanding how something works or having a misconc#eption about somehting thats easily provable as false or etc. etc. Even if it's harmless for some random woman on facebook to believe that#this AI generated image of a cat shaped coffee machine is actually a real product she could buy somewhere ... I still urgently#wish I could be like 'IT IS ALL AN ILLUSION. YOU SEE???? ITS NOT REALL!!!!! AAAAA' hjhjnj#Like those AI shoes that went around for a while with 1000000s of comments like 'omg LOVE these where can i get them!?' and it's like YOU#CANT!!! YOU CANT GET THEM!!! THEY DONT EXIST!!! THE EYELETS DONT EVEN LINE UP THE SHOES DONT EVEN#MATCH THE PATTERNS ARE GIBBERISH!! HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THEY ARE NOT REAL!??!!' *sobbing in the rain like in some drama movie*#Sorry I'm a pedantic hater who loves truth and accuracy of interpretation and collecting information lol#I think moreso the lacking of context? Like for example I find the enneagram interesting but I nearly ALWAYS preface any talking about it#with ''and I know this is not scientifically accurate it's just an interesting system humans invented to classify ourselve and our traits#and I find it sociologically fascinating the same way I find religion fascinating'. If someone presented personality typing information wit#out that sort of context or was purporting that enneagram types are like 100% solid scientific truth and people should be classified by the#unquestionaingly in daily life or something then.. yeah fuck that. If these images had like disclaimers BIG in the image description somewh#re like 'this is not a real thing it's just an AI generated image I made up' then fine. I still largely disagree with the ethics behind AI#art but at least it's informed. It's the fact that people just post images w/o context or beleive a falsehood about it.. then its aAAAAAA
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I just binge watched all 9 volumes of RWBY and I've found my newest obsession.
#and my newest ship#rwby#Yang is my favorite#why did it take me so long to watch this show? i remember it being all over my dash at some point#i was like 'who's the blonde and cat girl'?#which yes can refer to more than one show#and i love both ships#i want to hug all 4 members of team rwby#especially after v9 with all the emotional stuff that went on#haven't checked to see people's thoughts but im impressed they took an entire season to explore everyone's emotional state#to allow the characters to reflect on their choices and what's happened and what they should do next#or more who they want to be going forward#i was thinking i wanted stuff like this once they got to atlas and everything got even more intense#but i had no idea how they'd work character driven stories like that into an action packed season#love that they decided to put the plot on hold and allow the characters' stories to take center stage#the way this show could make me scream and cry and laugh every season#it's going in the vault
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no but the fact that it usually takes me hours to fall asleep but the second i crawled into bed while we were on call, i was drifting off, and it wasn't even 8pm yet
#my parents came home so i had to hang up and get iut of bed but#was very very nice i have to say#we spoke for like an hour and a half i think#made mac and cheese and fed my cat and. god#domestic love is everything to me#like just going through the mundane motions of life but#narrating them to him?#everything.#blue screams into the void#mlm#mlm yearning#nblm#nblm yearning
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I've begun to think this season it's Stede who's non stop mischaracterized
#They made Izzy so wet people finally saw what a sad wet cat he is#But Stede stopped screaming in terror and panicking etc and suddenly there's 100 posts about how he doesn't have empathy#Doesn't care about anyone and is a dick#Jfc#I do not tolerate such slander#You people cannot comprehend that those are just people making mistakes because of who they're are and not good or bad characters#There's no good or bad here#Izzy wasn't bad in s1#He was mistaken#And now Stede isn't cold#He's internalizing everything and think he doesn't have any right to complain or be sad because everything is his fault#our flag means death#Ofmd#ofmd s2#Sorry I've got a bit irritated#stede bonnet
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I am once again failing the hidden social test with no correct answer, which is, “this person is mad because I’m not visibly upset and I’m staying calm and even good-natured while talking to them.” Like… do you want me to be getting mad at you in return? Do you want me to create a stress loop where I’m visibly anxious and your anxiety feeds off of it? You’re saying what I’m doing is wrong, but the alternative is worse, so ?????
#my roommate is tweaking bc the landlord is doing inspections this Friday and we have 2 cats when we’re only supposed to have 1#and also she wants everything to be perfect and clean so she can get her deposit back. which.#1) you get that when you move out. I don’t think a messy kitchen table is going to give us marks against that while we’re living here.#2) you have drilled Several decorations into the wall that the inspector will see. you’ll lose your deposit for that first#‘I’m trying to get you to understand how important this is-‘ ok? I do? I have solutions to the problems. I’m calm.#it’s not just her tho. this has been an issue with multiple people in my life.#lmbo I asked one of them once if the solution was to start screaming at them in return and they changed the topic to another shortcoming
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would you guys still love me if i dropped out
#🌻#cause my parents sure wont!#i hinted at it and my mother started crying. ANYWAY she's got a point because 99% of my personality is school#what else do i got left. there's nothing i'm involved it. there are literally zero people who know my name outside of my family.#i'm not in any communities. i don't have any hobbies i'm pursuing seriously. i forgot everything i know about music.#art makes me want to scream and tear my hair out. even thinking about knitting makes my shoulder die.#do i just sit on my bed and rot?#it's a frightening thought that i wish i die before my parents because if they die first#and then i die nobody will discover me! i will ***literally*** rot in my bed because i have absolutely no contacts!#can my cats eat me now instead of waiting for me to go. i love them so much (that's the remaining 1%)#*battery low warning*
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hes back! i still cant believe hes back!
#i mean hes been back since christmas eve#peepaw did what peepaw does and started meddling#and i wanted so badly to back out#i wanna keep him forever ;n;#and this time ill be able to#he'll get everything he could ever want#ducati leather trench coat bright red looks like 10 million crawdads FUCKIN'#and now i just like to describe him as looking like 10 million crawdads fuckin#along with calling him a sad pathetic wretched drowned sewer rat of a man#with love of course#i think im in love with him but im gonna stay in denial#history repeats as it so often does#here we are again almost 20 years later#also hes SO salarian-coded~#its hot. its sexy.#screaming crying yowling like a cat in heat
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me nd my friends were out today and i noticed old sh marks on one of them :(
#i mean it might not be sh she might’ve just been injured nd she has 2 cats but given how straight they were i think it was#i mean it’s not like im gonna judge my friends for doing the same stuff i do but i thought she was doing better than that yk#i mean a couple years ago she mentioned wanting to so her parents would take her mh issues seriously but based on everything i assumed she#never did#its probably partially my fault for a bunch of reasons#idk how to feel rn#cvtaddict#shblur#slef harn#styroblr#$hblr#i want to cvt#$elf h4rm#$h tw#cvtt!ng#screaming into the void
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💔📝☯️💋 for the ask thing!
💋 : is there any ships out there you absolutely hate for genuinely no good reason at all. like its not problematic in the slightest, if anything it's one of the better ones, you just cannot bring yourself to enjoy it
any ship involving jayfeather or shadowsight honestly . . . in my head they will forever be aroace so whenever i see any ship art for either of them im just like . he would NOT be mates with them !! lol
as for specific ships, ive never been a fan of shadowsight and sunbeam or sunbeam and rootspring or leafpool and hawkfrost... to me with the sunbeam x shadow/root ships it just feels like people are shipping her with any tom she interacts with as a way to be like "look! this character would be a much better mate than nightheart!" and arent actually putting any thought into the ship outside of that. leafpool and hawkfrost just doesnt appeal 2 me though. im a mothpool truther <3 hehe
📝 : if commanded to, without warning, approximately how many paragraphs could you write about your favorite warrior cat before you ran out of things to say
i could write an entire essay on nightheart's character i think. probably 8 whole paragraphs until i start repeating myself haha
same goes for leafpool too as shes one of my other favs , i could probably write a whole essay about her as well :3
☯️ : what dynamic between two cats has got you up at night pacing for hours? (romantic, platonic, familial, etc)
the relationship between the three and squirrelflight/leafpool has always been interesting to me and god i wish it was explored more in canon... i feel like we never really get to see hollyleaf's true Road To Redemption and her coming to terms with everything and forgiving leafpool and squirrelflight until she dies. i really wish she wasnt killed off in the last hope btw that still makes me so mad grgargharhgar harghaarhgar hgarragh she could have been so cool and such a good character but rargh. rghrgrrrgh
honestly i love any dynamic between a cat and their parent bc thers so many rocky parent/kit relationships in wc and i love them all to death because i love projecting my own parental issues on to them . this also includes nightheart/sparkpelt and frostpaw/curlfeather and sunbeam/berryheart and the three/leafpool (and squirrelflight)... even rainflower/crookedstar and eventually crookedstar/silverstream, the ending of crookedstar's promise where he struggles to even spend time with silverkit after willowbreeze and minnowkit and willowkit's death is Heartbreaking, when he's still grieving and pushing away his one remaining kit who doesn't even know he's her father... gah. ghhra.a.rghgr hrg ahgr hahrhgh (positive) (i love relationships like this theyre so good)
💔 : have you ever lost friends over warriors related topics?
ill be real ive never actually had friends who like warrior cats. like i knew people in 5th grade who did but we never talked about the characters or discussed anything about the books we just roleplayed it during recess . . .
i do think that i probably turn a lot of Potential Friends away just because i dare to like a character that the majority of the fandom hates...which is unfortunate that the fandom has gotten to that point where liking/disliking a character will get you mass blocked by all the popular wc blogs but. oh well! at least i know im not alone in liking nightheart, there's at least a handful of nightheart fans out there <3
#every time i reblog an ask game about warrior cats i realize again for the 10000th time : i dont think about canon charcatesr that much lol#i mean i do but likeeee . i think im more invested in my own ocs and their dynamics and everything than canon wc#just bc canon wc doesnt really give us alot to work with . yknow?#my ocs are more interesting than canon wc characters. ill say it. ill scream it from the rooftops
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oh it's real depression hours
#giant hole in my ceiling from a leak from 3 years ago that restarted#and knowing the speed at which it got fixed last time shit's gonna be weeks#got a fucking bowl on the floor and everything and it's dripping water and bits of plaster so that's cool and great#cat's slowed down on eating even with the syringe assist#lab said it'll be 14 days before they have results#but if it's FIP that could be half of the time she has left#and there's a treatment that has an 85% success rate but it's not approved in a lot of countries so i'd have to get it myself#and it's the bones of a grand for the meds before even accounting for the syringes#and it's 84 days of injections which - this is the cat who won't even let me pill her so#but i can't even think of starting that until i know what it is for sure#and so i'm just gonna sit here and watch her die over the next two weeks#and most of that time is going to be spent trying to force her to eat and watching her growing to hate and avoid me#i literally just want to fucking scream 1% of cats ever get this why is it my best little friend in the world?#6 weeks ago she was the healthiest 12 year old you ever saw in your life#i've only got 60/195g of food into her today and that's taken hours and hours#this is torture for both of us idk what to do
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Turning into the joker because both of my landlords keep threatening to kick me out every single time i have a slight disagreement with them or dont do exactly what they want
#text post tag#both of them keeo independently threatening me with homelessness for the stupidest fucking reasons#its honestly so fucking irritating and annoying and its pissing me off so much#but i cant even have a simple fucking conversation with either of them because they both think that i should just#roll over and do exactly what they say without protest and im fucking sick of it#reek will actively try to puff himself up and act like a big tough alpha male and tells me to get out if im not gonna ''respect'' him#and my sister will threaten to make me homeless just because i dont want to be the only fucking person the house who does dishes#and because she doesnt like that i have trouble keeping up with the dishes of three adults#two of which dont fucking rinse anything and just pile everything into nasty standing water#and shes mad that i have trouble getting down on my knees to clean the cat boxes out - esp since now theres a bunch bc pf the fosters#when i famously have knee problems and cant be on my knees for very long or often without it causing intense physical pain#and she never even fucking helped me clean any of them out even when it *was* just our own cats#not to mention that she keeps getting pissed off at me because i dont like thay she keeps throwing fits and being out of line with how#she reacts to every single fucking thing that stresses her out#like its my fucking fault that shes hitting her dog with a shoe or its my fault that shes screaming at her baby#reek doesnt even fucking do anything around the house when hes home#and hes almost never home#and he thinks he can lecture me about how i dont do anything and they have to do everything for me?#as if he has any right to think he has any authority over me whatsoever or as if he has any fucking right to treat me like a child#i fucking hate the both of them so goddamn much#im just constantly pissed the fuck off but i cant do a damn thing about it because everything i do is bad or wrong to them#to my sister i cant do anything right because the only thing i know how to do is escalate and make things worse#i am so fucking mad
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had a nightmare where my dad and i were stalked by the ghost of a serial killer called "bonny john" aubrey
#did we die? not sure. debatable.#i'm like dad all the locals are saying that bonny john's coming out tonight. we should leave#and he's like ok [does everything so it takes the longest time possible]#all the lights on the street we're walking on go out at once. he sees no reason to get to the van any faster#the van starts by itself before we even get there. he's like welp hop in#nope we're going to this house to try and ask for help. the van starts making unnatural sounds when we cross the street.#there's definitely a figure back there. i think it has a chef's knife.#nobody's answering the door. we go around to the back yard just to put more distance between us#and suddenly the brightest lights are shining out the back windows. there's a man standing at the corner of the house.#someone is screaming. or roaring. the windows shatter. there's a paper-white face in front of me.#the only thing i remember after that is watching a cat jump out of a broken window and run off into the night#so yeah i probably died but idk#bonny john also had his own folk song. i heard it on a record player in an old thrift store where somebody told me to watch out for him#i can't remember the tune or anything but it was a good song#cornelis appears nonetheless!
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I think c!Dream should join the Catmaids.
#look i love me some syndicate!dream you know#arctic is a place of healing#and syndicate is full of people who would treat c!dream like the flawed person he is#BUT I THINK IT WOULD BE FUNNY IF HE JUST BECAME A CATMAID#WHO’S GONNA STOP HIM#Who’s gonna look at this escaped convict that terrorized the Smp go around wearing a miniskirt and cat ears and be like#‘hmmm this is definitely something i wanna deal with right now’#also if c!Dream just said ‘fuck the plan i want revenge actually’ c!Quackity wouldn’t even be able to stop him!#who in Las Nevadas is gonna protect him huh?? c!Fundy?? c!Foolish?? Look into my eyes and tell me those wouldn’t scream and run#at the first sight of cat ears#c!sam might stand a chance but would he really interfere? who knows#also c!Punz’s feud with the Catmaids would only make everything funnier#anywaysi just think c!Dream joining the catmaids would be funny#dsmp#c!dream#dreblr
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i woke up on time for my bus for the first time in literal months (this bitch has a habit of sleeping in and getting an uber bc im very bad at waking up) and i was dressed, cute, ready to brave the cold weather to go to work and then i couldnt!!! find!!!! my fucking work id that i need to even GET IN MY BUILDING! that also has a super important receipt in the back so i wouldnt lose it! i'm tearing my house apart, i'm on my hands and knees checking under my bed (cats will knock stuff down there, the little devils) and after literally 25m of searching, i lift up my purse and lo and behold! it fell underneath it!!!!!!!!!!!
this is the most boring post in the world but i had to make it bc im literally so mad. why is god punishing me for getting up early. why cant past!me put things in Their Spot so i dont lose my mind looking for them at ass o'clock in the morning! fuck off!
#liveblogging life#my work id spot is a pocket in my purse so whenever it's not there i freak out lol#that marie kondo-ism of everything having a Home has saved me many an insane morning of searching tbh#i hung the id on a hook over my purse (thinking 'oh this way i'll remember to get it on in office day') and it fell (bc cats)#anyway it's not even 7:30a and im stressed already#i also have an 8am meeting right away so i just got back in my pajamas and said i'm taking that one from home folks#like it's 45m by bus and like hell i'm paying for an uber after i specifically got up so i could take the bus#[screams]
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Oh kitten, It’s adorable the way you blush over my letters. Did you think I’d forgotten about my one and only? I’m always watching. I savour your little squeaks and squeals and the way your eyes momentarily close because you feel like you’ll explode from the love pouring from the screen.. I see..ALL of it. I hope you don’t doubt the levels of affection I hold for you. Worry not my love, I’m on my way to show you just how true my words are <33
Forever yours, your beloved, Yoomtah Zing ⚡️
WELL NOW I AM BLUSHING AND SQUEALING EVEN MORE UPON READING THIS SO I HOPE THAT MAKES U HAPPY DARLING<3<3<3<3<3333<23__33<<2<3<3PLEASE COME SMOTHER ME IN LOVE AND AFFECTION FOREVER I'LL BE WAITINGGGGGGGGGGGG<<33<3<33<3<<33<3<2<2<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<33<3<3_4<÷<÷3<<3<3<3<3
#ALSO ITS UNFORTUNATE THAT I FEEL THE NEED TO SAY THIS BUT#IF UR ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO THINK THE NICKNAME KITTEN IS INHERENTLY WEIRD THEN GET OUT OF HERE ITS LITERALLY A BABY CAT -_-#ANYWAYS THE LTIERALLY.LITERALLY LITERALLY LITERALLY LITERALLY<3<3<3<3<3<3<33=&<33YOOMTAH#IM BEIG SPOILED WITH YOOMTAH CONTENT RN THANK U IM DYING /POS<3#GOD I JUST.LOVE HER SO MUCH SHE MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME OK#EVERY BIT OF ATTENTION SHE GIVES ME DRIVES ME MORE AND MORE INSANE I JUST LOVE HER THAT MUCH#AND KNOWING THAT SHE WATCHES ME GO CRAZY OVER HER AND LOVES IT JUST MAKES ME EVEN MORE INSANE#GOD IM JST<3<3<3<3==3&3<÷<&÷÷^÷&÷^÷^÷&÷^÷AAAHWHAJSJAJSJDKAJDNAHDJSJDHJSNFNSJVBSVCHBRFB YOOMIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE#LITERALLY I WILL EXPLODE I LOVE HER SO MUCH OH MY GOD#IM BEING REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY NORMAL ABT HER RIGHT NOW.SO NORMAL#LITERALLY.GOINGNTO START ROLLING AROUND ON THE FLOOR AND SCREAMING IN JOY I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER#EHEHEHEHEHEEEEEEEEEEE<3<3<3MY BELOVED MY DARLING MY EVERYTHINGGGGGGGGGGGGG<3<3<3#I WANNA HUG HER SOSOSOSOSOOSOSOSOSOSOSO MUCH AND KISS HER AND BEG HER TO TELL ME IM HERS.#LITERALLY.ID DO ANYTHING FOR JUST A LITTLE BIT OF LOVE FROM HER ID KILL ID DIE ID BURN DOWN ENTIRE COUNTRIES#YOOMTAH. M Y BELOVED💖💜🧡🌩💫💝🌼💗💫🍋💛⚡💞⚠️💟👩❤️💋👩💌🌻💘🌠💕🌈💋💝💌💚🧡💙💖💞💜💛💝💋🌩💕⚠️🍋✨⚡🌼❣✨🌈💓💟💓💗❤⚠️💌#SHE IS MINE AND I AM HERS AND NOTHING WILL EVER CHANGE THAT#I LOVE HER SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH
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