#cause you can argue the posted messages could be from awhile ago

[gemkun]

one thing that has pestered me for a while is the subject of ratio's age and his birthday. the latter isn't as important so i will focus on the former.

i think most people agree he's somewhere in his 30s or later but after reading these it got me thinking what if he is in fact younger. he proved professor rond's conjecture in middle school which as the mathematician's letter also states is the time veritas was recommended to the university of veritas prime. he also explicitly mentions that ratio learns at a staggering speed which could hint at the equation being solved roughly around his earlier years of high school which puts him around 14 — 15 if we use china's middle school education system. so , let's say he was enrolled at 15.

from here , i believe he went beyond and partook in several doctorates at once which is actually possible it is just unthinkable and highly inadvisable. but veritas ratio took on the challenge and earned a title that had been unclaimed for two amber eras. if this is the case , then the second message and looking at the user id must indicate that veritas had been present for 10 years at the university — as a student and as a teacher. he would have achieved his doctorates 6 — 8 years after his admission into university and since he was directly eligible to teach , we can say he has been teaching for 2 years since he was a ta prior to this and was notorious as an assistant alone. which puts him at an age of 25 years old.

this means that with his accolades and numerous achievements , he is only in his mid — 20s.

[the-witches-you-couldnt-burn]

It started with a whisper

I originally wrote ‘Like I did with you’ as a one-shot but people wanted a sequel. This turned out to be waaaaay longer than expected (4.7k word count). Inspired by Everybody Talks by Neon Trees. I hope you lot enjoy!

Ao3

(Also this is Mari’s new outfit, all credits go to the original artist)

————

Two teens stood upon the balcony of a large banquet hall, exposed to the midsummer night air. The sky was a lilac blanket that hung over the Parisian buildings, speckled with glowing stars. The moon, with it’s crescent smile, beamed down of the young couple.

Hey, baby, won't you look my way?

Marinette’s eyes were closed as she rested her head upon his shoulder, relaxing after the night’s rapid escalation. Tonight she had arrived at the ball with the intent to be there for her friends, but somehow she found herself within the arms of Gotham’s (and probably Paris’) Ice Prince. She had overheard his nickname from the Gotham students, one of which being Jon, who was in the middle of mocking the young Wayne. She had never considered that nickname as suitable; sure he was temperamental & had a tendency to snap, but icey to the core? No.

I can be your new addiction

Damian was calm. For the first time in his life he felt like he could take a breath. His exhale was carried off by a small gust of wind, the bush over hanging the stone railing rustled. With his inhale, the scent of Marinette’s perfume became present once more. Mixed with the crisp night’s air, her usual scent of pastries was mixed with what could only be described as ambrosia. His phone vibrated within his pocket, it was never on volume due to the potential risk it caused during his heroic activities.

“Shit.” Notifications covered his screen, multiple tweets, Instagrams and Tiktoks in which he had been tagged in. But the alert came from his family’s private messaging chat. The whole thread was a shit storm, Grayson and Todd’s messages were completely capitalised (he learnt years ago this meant ‘to yell’ in writing form) and both had multiple ‘keyboard spasms’. Drake, like the thorough detective he is, had combed through the images and videos, investigating their validity. His honorary sisters had replied with ‘awwwww’(s) and ‘Omg we MUST meet this girl! I need to know how she tamed the demon!’. He could practically hear Brown’s shrill voice from across the ocean.

Hey, baby, what you gotta say?

No reply from his father or Alfred. The two of them were the only semblance of ‘normal’ paternal figures he had within his life, after the sham of a relationship he had previously held with his grandfather. Their silence unnerved him.

Marinette had noticed his attention had shifted to his phone, her own mobile was buzzing away within her baby pink purse. Messages, notifications of account tagging and comments galore. A sigh left her lips when she saw her parents seemed to be none the wiser. Good, she didn’t need to deal with future adoration for ‘The boy who swept our daughter off of her feet’ (or something along those lines).

Her cheeks regained some of the warmth they held before as she thought of her parent’s reaction. Scrolling through her Twitter she saw her friends had posted multiple images of the night’s events, majority being her shared dance.

Chloé Bourgeois @TheBestBourgeois

what kind of Disney shit is this? (Insert video of two teens dancing around an mostly empty dance floor.)

Alix Kubdel @Sk8trGirl

Replying to @TheBestBourgeois

I KNOW RIGHT?! THEY WERE FUCKING FLOATING!!!

All you're giving me is fiction

She was thankful that they hadn’t tagged her but she hadn’t been spared by others in attendance. Her post thread had blown up, thousands had commented and even more had viewed the evidence. There was no way she would come out of this unscathed.

“Has anyone been on Twitter today?” The blonde of the family asked as she walked into the dining room. Her eyes focused on her scrolling screen, brows furrowed in confusion. “Actually has anyone seen what’s happening on any of our socials?”

It was early in the afternoon and the family had recently returned home after a straining stakeout. The Joker had broken out of Arkham and the Batfam had to deal with his minions. Dick’s arm was in a sling (sprained from a grapple gone wrong), Jason was icing his hand, Alfred was stitching Bruce’s chest wounds while Tim and the girls escaped without severe injuries. All were still recuperating and finally able to recharge.

Alfred always enforced a strict ‘no devices at the dinner table’ rule; no matter how urgent it was, it could wait until after sustenance was consumed. Tim strongly opposed this, but there was no arguing with Agent A. This all surmises that probably no one had seen the crap storm on social media.

I'm a sorry sucker and this happens all the time

Bruce sighed, bringing his free arm up to rub his eyes. Tilting his head back to look at Steph, “Who was it this time?” Barbara quickly took out her phone to see what Stephanie was talking about, all the while glancing accusingly at Dick and Jason. Both of whom held up their arms (or in Dick’s case arm), declaring their innocence.

“It wasn’t fucking me!”

“Jason! Language!” Dick shot a glare at Jason and was met with one in return. “It wasn’t me either.”

“Then who-“ Bruce started before being cut off by his most rambunctious daughter.

I found out that everybody talks

Stephanie with a squeal, exclaimed that it was Damian. Visions of what the Wayne brat could have done flashed through the heads of everyone in the room. He had been sent overseas before the quarantines and lockdowns hit. During Damian’s first month in France he had been forced into online schooling and then finally when he got to go to in-person classes he hated it. Described the class as a kindergarten with petty and vindictive toddlers.

Had he broken someone’s arm? Was that person of such importance that it had spread over multiple social media platforms? France’s government had announced on June 15th, that teens were now being inoculated so him having COVID-19 was doubtful. Had he insulted the wrong person? Had he taken over the government? He certainly had the potential.

Everybody talks, everybody talks

What they saw stunned them, even Steph as she watched it for the 7th time. Damian Wayne was dancing. But not only that, he was dancing with a girl.

It started with a whisper

“What is this shit?”

No one verbally objected to Jason’s outburst but he was sent a harsh glare from Alfred, Dick and Bruce. Their focus soon returned to the images and videos before them. Babs’ and Steph’s phones were returned to them as the others ran to grab their own devices. They all met back at the table, comparing the posts and comparing their notes.

I can hear the chitchat

“There’s no way this can be real.”

“Jesus Tim,” Barbara rolls her eyes, “have you seen the amount of posts there are? You’d be an idiot to think otherwise.”

Take me to your love shack

“I’m with Tim, how do we know this isn’t some skit. I mean, Demon Spawn almost looks normal. That’s a matter of concern.” He almost dry heaved when he agreed with Tim. Damian couldn’t be capable of naturally exuding that amount of humanity unless there was something in it for him.

Mamas always gotta backtrack

“I was just saying Babs, that we should check the credibility of these images. For all we know they could be gorilla glued together and trying to get unstuck.” Tim cringed at his own reasoning, he really needed to either sleep (probably not going to happen anytime soon) or find his favourite coffee brand (which had been one of the first to vanish after the covid hoarders appeared).

When everybody talks back

Dick was too busy freaking out and spam messaging the youngest Wayne, to defend Damian’s humanity. The family saw this and followed suit, wanting to get information from the source.

Chat name: Alfred supremacy

BigBird: AHHHHHH DAMIAN!

BigBird: YOU LOOK SO CUTE!!!

BigBird: HAIFJDNDNFI

LittleWing: WTF HAPPENED DEMON SPAWN YOU LOOK ALMOST HUMAN

Babs: who knew the city of love would influence the brat

Blondie: they are so cuteeeeeee!

Blondie: We HAVE to meet her!

Silent-but-deadly: agreed.

Timbo: YO DEMON

Timbo: Apparently the videos are legit

Timbo: are you being blackmailed?

And it just devolved into more chaos from there, fueled by the fact that they saw Damian’s ‘Blood Son’ account appear online before vanishing once more. Dick shrieked, “I FOUND HER ACCOUNT!”

The family gathered around the eldest son, peering over his shoulder to view his iPhone 12max screen. They saw a young girl’s Instagram account. It was locked but they could see her profile pic, the girl had black hair and looked to be if Asian decent. They compared it to the videos but it was hard to see due to the hall’s lighting and the minimised facial features of the pfp. Alfred suggested that they search up her username and see who has tagged her, some might have other photos of her.

After research for awhile, the family began to get frustrated with lack of results.

Hey honey you could be my drug

You could be my new prescription

“Come on!” Jason complained, “What kind of teenage girl doesn’t post her life online?” He ignored the girls glares and went back to researching. How had the account by the name of ‘mariiiiinette’ to managed to prevent the entire Wayne clan from accessing it? Damn Instagram privacy settings. He groaned, dragging a hand down his face, “We are fucking stupid. Why don’t we just use the Bat-computer? It would be so much fucking easier.”

“It shouldn’t be used for civilian issues-“

Too much could be an overdose

“The girl could be a meta for all we know! We aren’t safe until we know who she is.” Jason points a finger at Tim, his paranoia flared up and even though he would never admit it, Jason would do anything to protect each member of his family (although Bruce is still debatable).

All this trash talk make me itching

Barbara and Tim took their usual positions as Oracle and Red Robin (who had been banned from patrol due to lack of sleep). The rest of the Batfam stood behind them either with arms crossed or still failing at researching.

Oh my my shit

“The account is owned by a girl called Marinette Dupian-Cheng. She is French-Chinese and her parents own a popular bakery. Also if it wasn’t already obvious, she goes to Collège Françoise Dupont, aka Damian’s French school.” Tim begun informing his nosy family, “But this account has been inactive for the past 6 months, which is strange due to her frequent posting schedule before hand. It seems she probably has a second account and this is her old one.”

Everybody talks, everybody talks

“Not only that,” Barbara interrupted. “There are unopened messages from other accounts that accuse her of being a bully. There is a whole Facebook page about this girl and how she has been hurting her old friends, but neither side seems reliable. The so called victims seem to be twisting the truth but there is barely any information about Marinette so we can’t disprove it either.”

“Read out some of the messages.” Bruce took a cup of coffee from Alfred and sipped it.

The main screen of the bat computer displayed a Facebook group with the banner picture being a photo of Marinette. “They are mostly complaints expected of teen girls when there is a girl they don’t like; ‘Marinette is such a know-it-all’, ‘She is constantly insulting Lila’s intelligence’. They go on to talk about how Marinette was briefly expelled from the Collège before being reinstated by the principle for a reason unknown to them.”

Everybody talks too much

“Her school reports up until this year were good. The newest one states, ‘While Marinette is a wonderful and bright student, I encourage her to settle her disagreements outside of class. This seems to only be a recent occurrence and I implore her to go to the guidance council if she is in need of help.’” A beat of silence echoes through the cave, Tim sighed. “Jason’s meta theory could be correct. She could have just recently started exhibiting her abilities and using them to get what she wants.”

“Bruce what do you want to do?”

“We’re going to Paris.”

She opened her eyes to the blaring morning light that streamed through the blinds. Her lashes still painted with mascara that refused to leave. She felt a pang of sorrow when she was removing her makeup and dress last night, she never wanted the night to end. She shuffled down the stairs to the kitchen, covering her mouth when she yawned. She greeted her mother as she entered the kitchen to get breakfast.

She glanced at her phone and there was the chaos that was started hours ago and it was still occurring. It was the weekend, she wouldn’t need to deal with her classmates until Monday. But she would still have to survive her parent’s interrogation. Out of the corner of her eye she caught her mother smirking at her.

Everybody talks

“Nadja told me some interesting news about last night.” Marinette held her breath, glaring at the toaster, willing it to hurry up so she could escape. “Well,” Sabine patted her shoulder before rubbing Mari’s back. “I know you didn’t want to go but I hope you had fun.”

With that she exited the kitchen, probably going to help her father in the bakery. The ravenette stared after her, eye widened in shock, jumping when the toaster went off. Buttering her toast she went over the conversation, her brows furrowed in confusion. She had expected a ‘When do I get to meet the oh so famous prince?’ or ‘Should I be expecting a new guest sometime in the near future?’ or at least a ‘Who was that young man, Bǎozàng (宝藏 it means treasure)?’ But she said nothing.

A small smile was plastered upon her face as she changed and went down to help her parents in the bakery. Her father didn’t say anything either, he gave her a knowing smile before continuing to kneed the dough. She sat at the the store front as the cashier whilst her parents were busy making ‘Paris’s Finest Pastries’.

Her musings slowly faded as she was brought back to reality by badly hushed whispers. Two young preteens were by the bread roll casing near the door. She had seen them come in before with their parents, the girls went to the prestigious international school over in the 16th arrondissement. The one with purple hair kept whispering to the brunette, both ‘subtly’ glancing towards her. Using her enhanced hearing she listened in on their conversation.

“That’s her, I swear that’s her in the video.”

The blonde’s face soured likes she sucked on a lemon. “No, it wasn’t good lighting there is no way he would dance with someone like her.”

Everybody talks

Marinette had tough skin but their words had an impact, only a small one due to her defence mechanism of repressing emotions. She stopped listening and went back to drawing in her sketchpad, she was in desperate need of a new school outfit.

The two girls eventually came up to the counter, goods in hand. Marinette rung up and bagged their items (paper because save the turtles sksksk) in a tired daze. A phone was shoved into her face, her eyes barely adjusted to view the screen before the blonde spoke.

“Is this your instagram?” She asked in a tone so snobbish that it should be illegal from a person her age. Marinette finally was able to view the screen that was barely an inch from her face. Her old Instagram ‘mariiiiinette’ was displayed on screen, she hesitantly nodded, gaze flicking back to the two in front of her.

The blonde’s nose scrunched up and the purple goth girl squealed in delight. They soon after left the store, their conversation had devolved into ‘See! I told you’ and ‘Yeah, yeah. You were right.’

Walking to school on Monday, she had finally come down from cloud nine. She still rode the tail end of her high as she rushed along her path to her campus, she wasn’t going to be late but she sure wasn’t going to be early. She had spent the better part of the weekend designing and sewing a brand new outfit. Her new look was composed of a black cropped singlet (L'amour gagne hemmed into it and it’s straps), paired matching peach plaid cropped overshirt and a-line miniskirt. Her hair was down, ballet flats were worn and her makeup was the usual with the added edition of a rose gold eyeshadow.

Even though her face was covered in a black and gold mask, she looked hot.

She reached the campus and the whispers started again, people were still buzzing from Friday night. Her classmates, the majority of her grade and the younger years seemed to gossiping before class about the formal’s events. She couldn’t spot any of her friends or the two Gotham transfers, so she was stuck listening the the chitchat. Why couldn’t she have been late like usual?

Damian had a fowl disposition and it showed in multiple icey glares (and that was before he even reached the collège). His family had made their appearance known in Paris at 1am Sunday morning. He could have used his dorm to escape but his family didn’t have the word ‘privacy’ within their vocabulary. He didn’t want to have to pay for a lock replacement due to his brothers’ (most likely Todd with Drake & Grayson laughing at him) lock picking habit.

The Ice Prince was back with full force. He had just been... influenced by all the other couples. Yes he did respect Dupain-Cheng and he appreciated her company & pleasant conversations. He would struggle to hide a small smile at the memory of the dance, even if he denied himself the happiness of normality, he felt content when reminiscing.

“Ooo the Ice Prince is here, did he have a fight with his princess or something?” The voice seemed to mock him.

“The Disney Magic is gone. The demon is back.”

Everybody talks

At the second jeer he shot a glare at the perpetrator. Jon held his hands up in an ‘I surrender manner’, laughing as he joined Damian at his side. The two entered the school’s large foyer and looked to see if any of the classes were open yet. Sadly they weren’t, before he was wrong and the his class was plain torture but this was truely hell.

He saw Dupain-Cheng sitting alone on the stairs, drawing within her sketchpad. He wondered how a girl like her, who always seemed to be involved in other’s lives (for the better) was ignoring all of the comments about her. She felt his focus centre on her, eyes flicking up to meet his, she provided him with a small wave before continuing to draw.

Jon nudged him with an elbow to his ribs and dragged him off to the side, into the boy’s locker rooms. Jon scowled at the door, “It’s a mad house out there. You’ve heard what some people are saying right?”

“Why would I care about these imbeciles?”

Jon jabbed Damian in the chest, causing the demon to stumble. Green eyes darted from blue eyes to the tan finger. “You care when lies hurt people you care about.”

The day began to rapidly decline once the two dance partners took their seats, next to each other. They had both been placed up the back of the class and them sitting together hadn’t been a problem until now apparently. She wasn’t even safe when the teacher started their lecture, whispers and glances were cast towards them. Once the two got to biology it was better, Ms Mendeleiev was a strict teacher and was able to control the class.

Everybody talks

But the recess came. When the bell rang she slowly started packing up her equipment, Alix and Max (who she shared biology with) waited for her; she watched as the Ice Prince left through the door. She knew she didn’t need to be concerned about her friends joining in with the gossiping, if anything they would dispel people and tell them to ‘Mind their own fucking business’ because this whole situations is ridiculous, utterly ridiculous.

She did receive some slight teasing from Alix about being a Disney princess, but Marinette quipped back about the skater’s fairytale story being ‘Pinknette, the Geek and the Beast’. The three met up with the other two of their group, they had just come from geography. Kim was complaining that Argentina was a state in America.

“That’s Arkansas you idiot!” Chloe shrieked, lightly hitting his arm with her white handbag. Max held his head in his hand as he approached, how had his tutoring sessions failed so badly?

Chloe turned to Marinette, a smile forming from her glare. The blonde examined the designer’s clothing, nodding. “You look like you are about to have a hot girl summer.”

Marinette’s face burned, the tips of her ears coated in red. Alix chuckled and nudged her shoulder.

Everybody talks

“Look at her, she is so desperate for his attention that she probably copied those designs.”

“Why do you think he danced with her anyways? Maybe she has something on him? I mean, she forces him to sit next to her in class, who knows what else she has done.”

What. The. Fuck.

Chloe glowered towards Lila’s posy. “We have a fucking seating plan, those cretins-“ She made a motion to storm over but was caught by the ravenette, looking back to Mari, her rage decreased from a boil to a simmer.

“No Chlo. It’s fine, it’s not worth it.”

Everybody talks... back

The group walked out to the school’s front steps, it was a mad house... a mad courtyard? Students sitting on the stairs, on the grass and standing around mingling, all of them now were staring at her. She held her backpack close to her chest (she had swapped her signature coin-bag purse for the pastel pink bag), pretending its a shield. Her friends circled around her becoming an obstacle to prevent their stares. If people were afraid of a scowling Kim then they don’t know the scorn of Chloe or Alix’s bite. And Max, sweet quiet Max.... you better hope he doesn’t have blackmail on you (he probably does), he can dismantle your life with a single anonymous post.

Rushed footsteps approached them. The group was broken apart by a rude Wayne boy, he swept Mari away from the school and the gossip crowds within. Her four friends shouted at him and he kept walking, shooting a glare at them in response. He kept pushing Marinette forward with a hand placed on the small of her back, her backpack was now swung over his other shoulder.

They ended up in her favourite alcove. She had brought him here with the other Gotham transfers for a native’s tour of Paris. It had always been her safe place to be creative.

It started with a whisper (everybody talks, everybody talks)

“My apologises for our rushed departure but you seemed to want to get out of their anyhow.” His gruff tone danced through the silence, his head still peaking around the corner; watching for any unwelcome guests.

“Thank you.” She whispered, her voice almost being carried off by the gentle wind. A genuine smile illustrated upon her face.

“We weren’t able to converse after the events of the other night. I would like to formally apologise once more for my actions causing this adverse reaction. If I had kn-“

“You don’t need to apologise!” She squeaked, hiding her eyes behind her fisted hand. Her shoulders curled inwards as she tried to make herself seem as small as possible, a side effect of her common use of her secondary miraculous form: Multimouse.

“I chose to dance with you, you don’t need to apologise for my own actions.” He stared at her with confusion. He had taken the blame so she wouldn’t need to do so herself; but she had taken it anyways. He had given her an out. Why does she always take the blame, even for things out of her control?

“But if I hadn’t danced with you then you wouldn’t have been the focus of the entire school.”

Marinette stepped forward, her eyes hardened and blazing. “Damian Friday night I went there out of obligation to my friends, I didn’t want to be there. But dancing with you? That was the highlight of my week, probably my month too. I enjoyed our time together.” Her face softened, lips twitched downwards ever so slightly. “I don’t regret anything about that night, but do you?”

He was bad at comfort. Everyone in his family avoided him when they were in need, he plainly didn’t know what to do. She wasn’t visibly upset but he sensed that she is disappointed that he apparently didn’t share the same opinion of the night. The only thing he regretted about that night was letting Jon call him a coward, but then again if he didn’t he never would have danced with Dupa- Marinette.

He picked up her clenched hand, the tension in her body alleviated at his embrace. He remembered how Grayson would apologise to Kor’i or how his father interacted with Ms Kyle. He brought their hands up and placed a kiss upon her knuckles.

And that was when I kissed her (everybody talks, everybody talks)

“I do not regret anything either—“ he cleared his throat, “In fact, I’d appreciate if we would be able to interact more, especially outside of that cesspit.”

Was he...?

It didn’t matter.

She smiled the same dazzling smile she gave him at the dance. She nodded while laughing, “I’d love that.”

Everybody talks

The two stay talking, hidden within their secret alcove for the rest of the day. She texted her parents to say she was with a friend and would be back later that night. Damian didn’t bother texting his family, Marinette knew he had to be back soon due to his dorm’s curfew.

The sun was setting at they walked back together, he did the gentlemanly thing and dropped her off at her bakery door. She could see her mother behind the register inconspicuously looking over at the two of them. Damian’s lips quirked upwards, she was satisfied with his kinda-smile.

He walked back, hands in pockets and a neutral expression upon his face instead of a scowl. He reached his door and took his keys, he found that it was already open. Damn.

His family was splayed out within his two roomed dorm. Todd and Drake were fighting over a place to sit on his bed, whilst his father sat at his desk, watching the commotion. The three of them turned to him as he enter the room, they were the only family members able to attend on short notice; Cain had a ballet audition, Gordon & Brown had concert tickets for tomorrow, Grayson had to take care of Mar’i while Kor’i was on Tamaran and Alfred stayed to ensure no one died during their night time activities.

“We need to talk Damian.” His father stood, leaning onto the desk chair. “The school called and said you had an unexcused absence for half the day. Where were you Damian?”

Damian stared into his father’s eyes. He was fifteen, almost an adult, but was treated like he was ten again.

“I was with a friend.”

“Probably the girl from the dance. Marinette, right?” Todd mocked him. Damian snapped his head in the direction of his bed, glaring at both his brothers.

“That’s what I want to talk about with you Damian. Now I don’t know her personally but from what we’ve discovered through our investigation we have some concerns. What’s happened Damian?”

The youngest Wayne’s glare shifted off of his brothers to the floor, and then finally to his father; his family sitting in wait for his answer. Straightening his posture, his shoulders clicked as he rolled then back. His statement’s tone was sure and steady, “Everybody talks father.”

Everybody talks... back

[adarlingsnightmare]

Osamu Dazai Yandere Alphabet

this was requested by a lot of people and i wrote it awhile ago but am only posting it now bc i spent way too much time fussing over whether it was any good lol.

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

One word: smothering. Dazai's idea of affection involves robbing you of your privacy and getting in your personal space as much as possible. He doesn't even care if you're not comfortable with it, so for anyone who doesn't like being touched, he's an absolute nightmare to be with. He especially likes to wrap his arms around your shoulders from behind and stand like that for as long as possible.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

As messy as necessary! He's more likely to get messy with you than with rivals, though. He is a sadist, but now that he has his precious darling this is all directed towards you, meaning his rivals get fairly swift deaths if Dazai does decide they need to die.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

As previously mentioned, Dazai is a sadist, and therefore loves to cause his darling pain whether that be physical or emotional. Despite this, he can act sweet and loving too, especially if you're not resistant. He does occasionally mock you, but it's not his main tactic of hurting you.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling's will?

Yes, definitely. His darling's wants and needs are completely meaningless to him. To his darling, he may even seem oblivious, but the truth is he just doesn't care. You said you don't want him to spike your drink? Oh, well that's just too bad.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

Surprisingly, Dazai will actually be himself around his darling, rather than putting on a persona. He believes that since he loves you, you should know his true self. You're the only person in the world who will ever get to see the real Dazai, though that isn't necessarily a good thing. Don't get excited though, this doesn't mean he is vulnerable, in fact he is probably worse now he doesn't have to restrain himself.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Mostly amused. A part of Dazai enjoys someone who fights back and won't give in easily, in fact you could even argue he is somewhat masochistic since he gets rather excited by your anger towards him.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

Certainly. Dazai is fascinated by human behaviour and watching you react to various torture and situations is his form of entertainment. He may eventually get irritated if you are constantly trying to escape, but he somewhat admires your resilience.

Hell: What would be their darling's worst experience with them?

Honestly, the whole experience is a nightmare because there is no chance of a good ending. Dazai can't be reasoned with, there are no compromises and it is guaranteed to end in tragedy. No matter how strong or smart you are, you can't escape. The best ending is for Dazai to kill you, because at least then your suffering will be over.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

Dazai never expected to live this long, so he's never bothered thinking about the future before, even when it comes to his darling. However, if it came down to it, he'd probably want something similar to the 'typical' married life: a house, loving partner and maybe some kids. He wants to feel more human and he figures acting like everyone else is a good start. Although, despite these fantasies, Dazai will never actually be able to live this life due to who he is.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Oh, Dazai is the definition of jealous. He can't even handle the prospect of you thinking about someone else, let alone anything like actually talking to them. He has to be the centre of your world or he will literally go insane. He's not a hothead like Chuuya, so aside from a very tight grip on you and a dark glare, his jealousy won't be noticeable immediately. However, that's not to say he won't do anything about the situation — scheming on how he can ruin this persons life and if they really don't get the message, he supposes he'll just have to show them what happens to vermin who steal his darling's attention.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

He still retains some of his cheery and mischievous persona, but make no mistake, once he's got you trapped, he'll reveal a much darker side. He likes to act oblivious to your suffering just to wind you up— oh, you're crying about how you want to be let out? so... anyways, what should we have for dinner? — and takes pleasure in both your despair and your anger towards him.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

Depending on which version of Dazai we're talking about here (Mafia or ADA), his way of courting will be different. If you meet while he's in the Port Mafia, he will be more creepy than romantic. Relying more on intimidation than charm, he'll spend his time sadistically toying with you and jumping out of nowhere to wrap his arms around you in a suffocating hold. ADA!Dazai is pretty much the complete opposite— overwhelming you with endless gifts (mainly pricey chocolate and flowers), reciting cheesy love poetry, flirting constantly and of course always asking you whether you'd commit a double suicide with him.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Definitely. While Dazai appears as a cheerful, suicidal maniac with a penchant for troublemaking, he is actually quite different. Around you he does retain some of his facade, but the cracks will show and it'll be undoubtedly unsettling. He deceives you with his sweeter, more carefree side, before he reveals the merciless, cynical person he truly is.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Punishing his darling is Dazai's favourite thing... much to the disdain of his darling. He'll punish you for just about anything and half the time he won't even explain what you've done wrong, simply wanting an excuse to have his fun. His punishment can take many forms, usually sexual, and always teaches you a lesson. The punishments you receive depend on whether we're talking about mafia!Dazai or ADA!Dazai, the former typically based around humiliation and the latter around degradation and pain. (I have quite a few ideas but I didn't want to write too much on this here).

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

Rights? Freedom? What are those? You don't know because you haven't experienced the feeling of independence and being able to make your own decisions since Dazai took an interest in you. He's an unbearably jealous person so he can't allow you to even look at other people, let alone talk to them. Despite how much you prove your loyalty to Dazai, he will still refuse to loosen his suffocating hold over you and your freedom.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

If Dazai thinks it's worth it, he can wait for just about anything, so he is usually relatively patient with his darling. I say 'usually', because while he doesn't mind waiting, he prefers his darling to respond to his questions and advances instantly and you risk getting punished if you don't. Unfortunately for you, you'll never know how patient he's feeling so it's always best to just be alert and reply immediately when he asks you something.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

Definitely not. Dazai's life felt pointless until he met his beloved darling, so you leaving/dying would absolutely destroy him and increase his suicidal tendencies tenfold. Without his raison d'être what point is there in continuing to live?

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

Guilt? Why on earth would Dazai feel guilty? He needs his darling to be around him pretty much 24/7 and kidnapping is the safest option for everyone, why should he feel guilty? I mean, who knows what kind of havoc Dazai would wreak if he couldn't have you by his side...

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Dazai's own ability describes exactly just how disconnected from other people he feels, so it's no surprise that he doesn't really understand love. It's the curiosity of what it's like to be human — to be like everyone else — that will compel him to pursue his darling to the point it develops into an obsession. You'll also have to be different enough to keep his attention, perhaps being eccentric in your own way or being extremely hard to read. He can't feel genuine love, at least not like others do, but he can feel intense obsession and that may be even more dangerous.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

Unsurprisingly, Dazai enjoys his darling's tears and despair, being the sadist he is. However, he only likes it when he's the cause of your pain or distress, if you were crying because of someone else it would infuriate him to no end.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

He appears like the typical delusional and deranged yandere, but he's actually very calculating and certainly lucid. He's fully aware of everything he's doing and how wrong it is, but does he care? Not in the slightest.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

Honestly, it's hard to think of ways you could escape Dazai as he is extremely smart and unlike some other yanderes, no matter how compliant you are he will never let down his guard in the slightest. The only possibility is to kill him: whether that's by poisoning his food, smothering him in his sleep or biting down so hard on his neck he bleeds out. Either way, resorting to murder is the most plausible way of escaping.

Wit's end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Of course! What's the point of being with your beloved if you can't inflict a little pain onto them? Pain will be a daily occurrence for you as nothing is more melodic to Dazai than your cries of pain.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

While Dazai doesn't worship you per say, he does see you as ethereal— an angel that he feels compelled to ruin. Since doesn't see himself as human, you are very different to him in his mind. He wants someone else to feel as inhuman as he does, which is why he takes great pleasure in destroying your humanity. He isn't worried about winning you over either; he may appear like he is trying to do so, but he knows that if you don't return his advances he can just make you love him.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

As mentioned previously, Dazai can be very patient when he wants to be and has no problem playing the long game if he feels it is necessary. He won't kidnap you immediately: preferring to slowly worm his way into your life so that by the time you realise his true, much darker intentions, it's already too late to escape.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

Well, he wants to mould his darling into the perfect submissive little kitten, so yes it is likely he would break them down until all he had to do was rebuild them in the image he wanted. Even if you genuinely love him back and want to be with him, Dazai will still tear down your mental stability to the point of complete reliance on him. He's never experienced any real love from another person before or been in an actual relationship, so it's safe to say his views on love are a little skewed. However, after he had completely broken you, Dazai would feel the closest he can to regret. He doesn't actually want you to be a lifeless doll, but unfortunately he only realises this after you're already too far gone.

[mssleepy876b]

Family Ties- Chapter 4

Summary: Family can be a positive and negative force in one's life. Detective Jay Halstead knows that personally and he helps a new Intelligence family member through it.

Requested? No. But promised @resanoona that I would post mine once she posted hers.

Word count: 1622

Warnings: domestic violence, PTSD possible

A/n: Unedited Sorry for any mistakes

Family Ties Chapter 4

Jay had spent about 30 minutes on paperwork when he started to hear Brie mumble in her sleep. Getting up from his desk moving to the break room, He could see her getting restless and heard her voice increasing in volume. By the time he was at her side, Hank had exited his office hearing her start to call out. Jay knew he had to be cautious and not spook her. He gently placed his hand on her shoulder and tried to speak to her and called her name. “Brielle, wake up. It’s only a bad dream.” He said to her.

His voice filtered into her mind causing her to stir. He watched as she began to wake from the dream. She had jumped up and curled away from him as she tried to wake up from her sleep. Her fear flashed across her face until she recognized Jay and the break room in the Intelligence Unit. “Brielle, it’s me, Jay, Detective Halstead. It’s okay. You’re safe.” He said calmly to her as the others reacted to the sounds of her jumping up.

Seeing her fear, Jay motioned to keep the others behind him. She had moved to the corner of the couch and her eyes showed her fear and she moved quickly at any sign of movement. He kept the others back as she started to calm her breathing and took a few deep breaths settling her racing heart. “Jay?” she whispered.

“Yeah, I’m here, Brie. You’re safe. You are still at the 21st district with my unit. Remember you met them before you told us about what happened to you. About what Michael did.” He said calmly.

He watched as the memories resurfaced and tears began to fall from her eyes. “Why did he do this to me? What did I do to deserve this? Why?” she whispered as she broke down into tears and reached out to Jay who pulled her against his chest.

Hank motioned for the others to go back to their desks as Jay pulled her from the corner and he sat next to her on the couch. Her breathing slowed as she began to calm down. She blushed as she pushed back from Jay’s chest. “I’m so sorry. You all have done so much already, and I am creating more chaos.” She said quietly wiping the tears from her eyes as she looked down into her lap.

Jay moved her face so their eyes could meet. “Hey, listen to me. You did not do anything to deserve this, okay. Please don’t think like that. This was all his fault not yours.” She nodded as he looked into her eyes. He was not sure if she believed his words yet, but she did seem to accept the message. “Do you feel any better? You were exhausted after giving your statement.” He asked quietly checking on her.

“I am not sure. I feel sore but that is to be expected from Dr. Choi told me. I feel okay, I guess. Confused about what I am going to do next or what I can do since Michael controlled so much of everything.” She said quietly.

Jay looked at her as she began to sit back and up from her crouched position. “I know that Sergeant Voight is working on things and I have been looking over your documents. Did you know about the trust in your name?” he asked her.

She nodded, “My dad got it years ago. Said it was an old retirement pension or something, I think from his time in the CPD. He set it aside for my wedding but to access the funds both one of my parents and I have to present to sign in front of the bank managers. It made Michael furious because I always managed to avoid signing anything giving it to him.” She said.

“That is a resource we could use to help you, if you want. We’d just have to reach out to your parents.” Jay said.

“I’d worry about their safety, Jay. If Michael lashes out, they will be my weakest point. I would never want anything to happen to them.” She said quietly her voice displaying she was still tired.

He nodded and understood her concerns about her parents’ safety. “Why don’t you try to get more rest and we can see what steps we can take once you feel better.” He said helping her lay back down and curl up again with his jacket on the couch.

She grabbed his wrist as he moved to go back to his desk. “I keep remembering last night in my dreams. It is the same or worse because he mentions me getting away. I feel afraid to sleep, he’s always there. Does it ever get better? Will I ever feel free?” she said to him as his eyes met hers.

“It will take time, Brielle. But I believe it will get better and you will feel like you have your life back. Remember, you’re not alone anymore.” He said putting his hand over hers. She nodded as she released his wrist. “Try to sleep. We’ll be right outside the door, okay?” he said getting another nod from her.

Brielle woke up again to raised voices from Voight’s office. Her first thought was it was Michael and he was going to find her. Her heart started to pound in her chest as her fear filled her senses and her throat felt as if it was closing off her voice. Jay entered 1sthearing her move towards the corner of the room reacting to the loud voices. “Hey, it’s okay. Your dad found us. He and Voight are arguing right now. You’re safe, Brie.” He said placing his hand on her arm. Feeling his touch, she jumped into his arms and curled close to his chest. He felt tears begin to soak into his shirt. He just waited until she calmed herself down. After she stopped shaking, he moved her back to face him. “Are you okay? You know we won’t let anything happen right?”

She nodded. “I am sorry that I am so clingy, Jay. You have been nothing but patient, you and your unit. Thank you. At times, I feel like you are the only safe harbor in this storm that my life has become. I hate that I seem to need that. I used to be so strong on my own. My younger cousins used to look at me as an example. I am so glad they can’t see me now.” She whispered hanging her head feeling ashamed.

“Hey, you took a huge step in seeking help. You are just starting this journey to get back to yourself. It is not easy. After I came back from overseas, it took me awhile and I needed a friend who was going through the same thing to try to get back together. Then I joined the academy for CPD which gave me new focus.” He said helping her to the table trying to encourage her.

She jumped and shrieked as the door to Hank’s office slammed next to them. Jay’s face finally showed anger and frustration. He called to Hailey. “Hailey, will you come sit with Brielle, please?” he said. Hailey moved quickly, entering the break room, and took a seat next to Brielle at the table. Jay stood from his seat. He left the room and Brie could see him bang on a door near the door to the break room. Brie heard the door open and Jay’s voice was clipped. “Look I know you two have issues. But enough. She can hear you two. Her first thoughts were that he was here to find her. Can you two think about her reaction to your actions?” He said with volume increasing. “If you can’t, take it outside. She doesn’t deserve to be scared anymore.” He said turning and slamming the door behind him.

Brielle watched Jay walk away from the door and walk out of her sight. “I’m causing more problems, aren’t I?” she asked Hailey.

Hailey placed her hand over Brie’s. “No. None of this is your fault. Voight and your dad are opinionated guys. Both think they are right. I could see the anger and determination on your dad’s face when he arrived. I think he feels guilty he didn’t prevent this from happening to you, honestly.” Hailey said to her.

“Did I upset Jay, Detective Halstead?” she asked Hailey.

Hailey looked surprised at her. “No, Brie. I am 100% sure you didn’t. I think he got angry at Sergeant Voight and your dad but didn’t want that anger around you. Michael’s temper already hurt you once. He doesn’t want to see that happen again. Jay’s got an honest, good heart and he gets protective over people he thinks deserve better. It’s part of what makes him a great cop, but I think it also is what helped him be a great soldier.” Hailey said.

“Okay. I trust you Hailey. As his partner, I guess you would know him pretty well.” Brielle said as the voices in Hank’s office settled and two new women came over to Brielle.

Hailey spoke up. “Brie, you didn’t get to meet the last two members of the unit yet. This is Kim Burgess and Vanessa Rojas. They work with Jay and me. They are good cops too, but we don’t tell them that every day.” Hailey joked causing Kim to gasp and playfully push Hailey.

“Don’t listen to a word she says Brie.” Kim immediately said getting Hailey and Vanessa to laugh slightly. Brie feeling safe smiled at the warmth between the co-workers and seeming friends.

[savnofilter]

TW: MENTIONS OF DISCOURSE, GR//MING, P/D/PHILIA, ASS//LT, C//NSENT, D//RK CONTENT.

- this isnt under a read more because i want people to read this, but please read past this/tread carefully if you cannot handle such topics. this is not meant to be interacted with.

I'm not sure how to really go about this. I've been overthinking if I should address this and bring up some stuff while I've been gone, so sorry the absence. I deleted the tumblr app a few days ago and I downloaded it again today so i could post this. I really don't like making posts like this because it cuts the vibe that I've been trying to portray that everything is okay and it makes me feel really disconnected to you guys. I am sorry for the abrupt absence and cutting off any source of communication between us. I knew if I left any form of direct line of talk to me that I would receive hate and I just mentally decided that I cant sit through being harassed right now.

Have you guys ever paid attention to the same people who always have a statement to say or is always in discourse? It's very telling how everyone can post about me, but I shouldnt dare post about them. I'm tired of not being able to post about what I want without people vague posting about me, bringing me up every time they start another discourse with another writer or directly talking about me. My days on here are starting to feel the same. Its good then it goes bad. Good goes bad and bad goes good. It's not even tiring, annoying, or angering -- its repetitive. When I'm not saying anything people create fake stories about me, and when i speak about it im the one starting discourse. Don't get me wrong, I'm nowhere near perfect and I have made my own mistakes. But why the fuck am I always being told to be the mature one, why am I the one who should've done better, why do you people expect so much from me. It's the fact people are always quick to say, "no one cares about you, youre fishing for attention" when they're the ones who vague and interact with me while ive been minding my business for months now. Hm. The fact people have me proudly blocked but still harass me anyways shows a lot about themselves than it does for me. How its such an issue that im a minor until it comes to demonizing, tearing down my character, gaslighting, lying and bullying. I'm a literal example of how their friend group manipulates their followers and exiles people from fandoms for not kissing their ass. except now its in your face.

Consider this my last post about this discourse. I'm not going to waste my time on people who fail to digest other peoples thoughts and opinions time and time again because theyre weak narcissists. If I so choose to decide to shit post my opinions or argue with someone, none of you should be aggravated or moved by it because youre not even supposed to be on my page. If its not something serious i will not be wasting energy that i can be using to build on myself as a growing person than on miserable old ladies that have to use fanfiction to have excitement in their pity, depressing and lackluster lives. If people so do choose to create stories or vague about me, I do not care. So I ask respectfully to people who do lurk on my page to not attempt to message, post or vague about me please. This includes sending anons to yourself to make shit happen.

Past that, something got me thinking. My (older) friend had showed me screenshots of adult writers (no one i have spoken to) that were very excited to write underaged reader with adult characters. There are other instances where writers (that you have probably read from) on here openly made reader underage while aging characters up as adults/with adults. There are many more but there's really no point in listing them nor do I really care. But least to say, the same people who are gung-ho over these pedophilic themes/stories are the same people who support predatory people.

I've been thinking about whether or not i should continue writing for the students anymore. Granted, I still think they're attractive because one snap of the fingers cant stop that. I had been teetering on this thought for awhile because of how borderline pedophilic the people are here towards my age group. I enjoy writing but not to the point of willingly being in a straight line of sight where people who are well over 16 are harassing me and lurking on my page, especially to other minors solely because they are my friends. Backtracking to the statement before, I honestly dont know if I will either stop writing or just for the students as a whole. It shows that clearly some people are using their attraction to teens with the excuse that the characters are fake. The rapid normalization on dark problematic "kinks" is disgusting and vile, and the fact that its discourse now to shame said interests is appalling. Concluding that combined with my experiences here, i feel unsafe.

***(TRIGGER WARNING)*** I dont talk about my personal life on here that much cause I dont see the need too nor do i think its anyone's business. Paired with the fact that the people i have trusted personal information with have used it against me, I will be preventing myself from opening that door. Besides that for now, I have sparsely shared I've been assaulted before. This is my first time really opening up about this and i kind of find it necessary now. Coming from someone who has been a victim of assault and CP by people my age and well over, writing nsfw has been the only way where I could feel comfortable with sex in general. I won't get into details because mentioning this is triggering already and can make people uncomfortable. It feels like anywhere I go, I'm constantly putting myself in a position to be abused. The same people who told me I didn't have to worry about my age and be judged for it, exposed the minimum comfort of keeping myself private online to demonize, judge and hurt me. People call me "extra" for being distraught about my face and age being posted because they think im trying to be sneaky which isn't the case. Its the principle that they KNEW I wasnt ready to share said things, and coming from someone who is inherently a private and closed person, she knew damn well what she was doing when posting screenshots of me on Tumblr. There is no excuse for it. The same writers who write dub/non-con can BARELY understand basic consent and its fucking terrifying. This site was the only other place I could cope without being criticized. To see people who some i was close to proudly lie on my name, (adults) say that i sent them pornographic content without their consent is so very hurtful. To watch people supposedly be victims and then use their own trauma to invalidate my own was so fucking humiliating, disgusting and nerve wracking. Although I knew I made the terrible decision to interact with stories, I have never initiated any NSFW discussion with anyone in DMs unless they did it with me first and a few times -- and trust me raise your hand I'll show you the proof. I was sure that everyone I talked to regularly knew that I was a minor, and to my general consensus, people were under the impression I was 15/16 (which I was and am).***

Whether it be victim blaming from the grooming discourse, I've been met with racism, harassment towards my friends, people wanting me to harm myself and be assaulted. I fear what will happen when i will turn 18, if the harassment will escalate and what not. A big part of me is that I'm still here anyways because it pisses people off and I don't care when I receive hate. I can take it but I don't want it. A good conscious of me knows that I should be doing what's best for me but at the end I'm still attached to my ego-self with the added fact that I sincerely enjoy interacting with my followers and posting stories.

I just don't know how the options look. I'll probably be updating my blog rules as of right now. I've been writing more sfw lately because of this and it'd be nice if you guys supported those until I properly decide. I still have plenty of requests of a bunch of characters (mostly Bakugo and Dabi) and original stuff (all sfw & nsfw) that I really wanna share with you guys. But I just ask that what I do modify that you will respect it like you would to any other writer on here.

Stay safe, keep your mask on, and thank you.

[the-velveteen-victorian]

Hi Elle! I used to follow you on your old mega-popular tumblr. I really love your new one. :) I know that you've lived in a "super spiritual" community for several years now (not sure if you want me to publicly say the place). What is the community like? Is it more bad than good? What are some strengths and weaknesses of the place/people? Thank you! I've heard mixed things and really respect your insights.

Haha I knew I would get this question one day! If I could title my response, it would be, "Why I've Chosen to Keep My Distance from the New Age Community in the American Southwest." I info-dump and write novels, so get ready! =)

I think there is something to be said for defining things neutrally for yourself overall. Fortunately, I've been able to easily do that in this instance due to: 1. Being introverted and not "needing" a big community experience and 2. Having wonderful friends all over the globe that I am able to interact with all throughout my year. With that being said, if I am being 100% honest and real with you, I truly believe that the new age community where I am is more toxic than good. Here is why. I will have a positive note at the end.

A quick preface: I am not calling out any particular individual(s) and will not be naming names.... quite frankly, there are just too many and I'm not here to humiliate people. Secondly, these traits can take place in ANY community, spiritual or otherwise. But these are things that I feel a spiritual community should be more self-aware of... and sadly right now, they are not.

********ATTENTION: There is a big content and trigger warning here: There will be mentions of sui****, sexual *******, and gaslighting/narcissism, terfs, eating disorders, and other things that could be very upsetting. Proceed with caution and stop reading if you find yourself getting stressed, triggered, or deeply upset.*********

1. Malignant narcissism and community insulation from constructive criticism. I have never seen such a ubiquitous display of malignant narcissism in all my life in a collective, save for some conservative Christian environments in my growing up years. Go onto almost any youtube channel for the Sedona community and you will see very few negative comments… why? (And I have watched this for a long time) Almost ANY criticism of anyone’s channel or blog is instantly removed. There was a time when people who simply noted that some of these small “influencers” were saying toxic things were sent cease and desist letters. The community is very tight knit and displays many marks of a cult. One of these indicators is that they all protect each other and hype each other up on their channels and blogs, while labeling ANY criticism (healthy or not) as someone who is being “triggered.” The younger part of the community cares about looking perfect and having everyone worship them, but has very little spiritual substance. It’s always about who did the alien thing “before it was cool” or “who can do a backflip off of a steep cliff without breaking their neck because their synchronicity is on point.” One youtuber said once that she only wanted to hang out with “pretty” people because they were purer expressions of the divine. The older generation expresses narcissism by assuming they know more than everyone else. Good luck having a conversation on controversial topics with any of them. They are right, you are wrong. If you argue, you are “triggered” and “seeking for truth.” If you don't believe that there are reptilians on the moon with a secret base, you've drunk the kool-aid. Not a good environment to foster open sharing and knowledge. The men have a particular problem with this when it comes to topics of sex and intimacy. If you are a woman and don’t want to “surrender” to your partner (in a lot of vague and unclear ways), you are out of alignment with the divine feminine. Most of the men believe that they should be allowed to "hunt" (look for sexual partners/spiritual twin flames) and that women should do everything in their power to be softly feminine so that they can sync up and recognize each other's souls.

2. A full denial of science and medicine. Look, I get it. We all want to solve our own medical dilemmas and use herbs to cure all ills. I try to solve any (non life threatening) health issues I have the “natural” way first too… often, I have great success! The problem comes when the community rejects all western medicine, most science (that doesn’t affirm their beliefs) and any medical opinion that has… actually been to a real medical school. There is a strong anti-vaccination movement coupled with the belief in using yoni eggs religiously and doing colonics every week (though science tells us this isn’t a great idea overall). I used a different type of yoni egg for awhile to see what would happen, but trust me, your pelvic health is going to be better without them. You will be judged harshly for going to a “mainstream” doctor to get antibiotics for a serious infection and will most likely be gaslit into oblivion regarding “what you did to attract” your infection etc.

I have midwifed for many years now and have extensive “mainstream” training to be able to do this legally. Once, I was working with another midwife on a mother who was having her first baby. The laboring woman had an ideal birth in mind like most people do. Long story short, I discerned while she was laboring that the baby was in intense distress and that the mother was displaying very concerning signs of a life-threatening condition. When I insisted on calling an ambulance and getting the woman to the hospital, the other midwife said that I was interfering with nature. I explained simply that if we didn’t get said woman to a hospital, the baby would most certainly die and the mother’s life would hang in the balance. Her response was that: “Some babies don’t deserve to live and I shouldn’t invite karma by interfering with nature’s course.” I called an ambulance anyway and the mother was taken for an emergency c-section. The mother was very disappointed about not being able to follow her birth plan. However, after the birth (she and baby ended up being okay thank goodness) she sat down with me personally and thanked me for making the decision I did. She said that one of the doctors explained that if I had waited another hour, both she and the baby would be dead. Apparently, this other “midwife” had also had her license revoked a year before for endangering a different laboring person and child. This sounds like a stand-alone freak incident, but I can cite 15-20 other situations just like this one where life-threatening emergencies were viewed as opportunities for good karma and growth… and that western medical intervention would invite bad karma.

Regarding science, if you point to the fact that jade yoni eggs are likely to cause an infection, most of the new age community will scoff and say that they don’t trust science (the logic being that science once explained volcanos as angry gods or something and now cannot be trusted overall). If you don't wear blue-blocking glasses anytime you look at a screen, apparently you've already succumbed to mind control. You get my point… It’s so bad that the new age community is willing to endanger people’s lives and place the blame on the victims for being out of alignment with synchronicity. This one bullet point could be talked about for hours.

3. A lack of discernment and victim blaming. Many have heard about Bentinho Massaro and his crew from that time when they swept through Sedona a couple years ago. The core of the Sedona community started blindly following him… some of them wanted to boost their online platforms by being associated with a well-known figure. Others wanted a guru… and others were just curious and got sucked in by his charisma. All one had to do was google him. He has allegations of physically beating his followers, gaslighting people, torturing animals in his childhood, and ignoring the fact that an alarming number of his followers commit suicide. With all of this knowledge at our fingertips, the popular new age “influencers” went so far as to get in polyamorous relationships with him, validate his platform, and gaslight people who, sadly, committed sui**** because of certain things he said in his teachings. It was insane. Now, many of the people who followed him try to pretend it never happened or that they had no part in it. Many of them claim to have “gifts of the spirit” and to have stellar discernment.

One of the people who got into a polyamorous relationship with this person did an Instagram post where she basically said that if someone is being r*ped they should show their attacker love and surrender to what is happening so that they could experience unconditional love and come back to the "light." I honestly couldn’t believe what I was reading at first when I saw it. The part that was heartbreaking was when I read the comments and watched people (not just women and men) berate themselves for “fighting” while something terrible happened to them in the past. A few of them were teenagers. I made it a point to personally message the ones I was able to, and thankfully, a good number did respond positively. This exact issue has occurred on youtube channels, blogs, and in-person encounters. I’m just citing ONE online instance of this horrible, misaligned belief. Keep in mind that the person who did this post abandoned her disabled child with a family she barely knew to pursue a sexual relationship with Bentinho.

4. TERFS/anti-LGBTQ/anti-feminism. This falls under the categories of relationships, sex, autonomy, and social issues, but expands into much more overall.

A chain of videos came out a couple years ago where about 5 women in the new age community each did a presentation on what was wrong with the “divine feminine” these days. They were saying that women had been erased because they were not conforming to gender roles or seeking out conscious relationships. They all referenced that “women are angry” and basically said it was wrong for women to feel this way and that angry female energy was throwing our whole environment out of balance and even contributing to global warming somehow. They empathized with toxic people/men/known violent incels and said that women needed to get over their traumas and be more available for the divine masculine to show up. They dehumanized women by saying they shouldn’t be expressing anger, glossed over sexual a******, and blocked everyone in the comments who took a stand against what they were saying. The general consensus is that feminists are just angry women who need to get over their trauma.

Many people in the new age community also believe that if you incarnate in a particular body with certain biological parts, you incarnated that way for a reason. Changing it extensively is to erase “the spiritual lessons you were supposed to learn.” Basically, they stand against trans people, nonbinary people, gender nonconforming people… etc. I can go deeper with this if you want, but that is the gist of it without writing a novel within a novel.

Most of them take an active stance against intersectional feminism and use exclusive language to shut out anyone who doesn’t conform to the binary. A few of them are more passive-aggressive about how they do this: refusing to show any support for the LGBTQUIA+ community or mention social issues at all, even when someone is pointing out that they did something hurtful or offensive.

5. Appropriating Indigenous cultures and using past lives as an excuse. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard a white new age person say that something is their “spirit animal” or seen one wear Native American/indigenous headdresses to tight-knit community events, citing that they were “Native American” in their past life and that they are entitled to use these symbols, items, and cultural lexicons because of it. (Not that this is the main point… but they tell trans people that they shouldn’t be trans or insinuate that people should conform to the gender binary because they incarnated in a body type for a reason… but make an exception for themselves culturally? Super hypocritical.)

A couple of “woke” guys from the new age community walked around for awhile saying that the Hopi had adopted them into their “tribe” and that the were given Hopi names. I spoke to a few Hopi people about what was happening and they were shell-shocked. That is not something that they do for one thing, and for another, they had never even heard of these people! Thankfully, the behavior stopped after the two men were confronted about it, but this kind of thing happens all the time in various ways. There is a new age store here with a racial slur in the title… bring it up to the owner and she’ll kick you out and launch a smear campaign. Tell one of the white new age women that just because she studies “different traditions” doesn’t mean it’s okay to do rain dances or perform indigenous rituals (Native American, Australian, and others) without permission and they’ll blacklist you. I think many of the new agers operate within this Trojan horse of “I want to accept and validate all cultures”, but do not actually care at all about indigenous voices, feelings, or opinions. Many of them talked a lot about collective trauma in our nation during Black Lives Matter, but wouldn’t actively support it in any way themselves.

6. Let’s talk about mental health. This could go under the science and medicine label, but I think it deserves its own paragraph. Boy is mental health stigmatized in the new age Sedona community…. Real mental health professionals are painted as people who just want to “drug” you and keep you controlled. People with mental health struggles are instantly blamed. “Hell is just a state of mind, you need to change your mind,” is a phrase I have heard more often than not. Ancestral healing, umbilical healing, and random reiki sessions are somehow supposed to take the place of a licensed counselor.

A huge chunk of the “spiritual” community supported a pseudo-therapist who (without any scientific basis) was preaching that any woman who wasn’t sure if she wanted to have children or not by the age of 25 was toxic and needed to be ostracized because “something is wrong there.” A bunch of people believed it and re-posted/shared the teaching.

Another instance occurred where an unlicensed “hypnotherapist” without so much as a bachelor’s degree in anything was using questionable methods to hypnotize clients. During one session a person experienced a severe PTSD flashback and panic attack. She was not brought out of the hypnotherapy session properly or cared for. She ended up having a mental breakdown and having to spend time in the hospital. The charlatan who was treating her said that the client was willfully unresponsive to treatment and refused to confront her demons…

Anyone who is on anxiety medication, anti-depressants or anything else to support their well-being and mental health will be judged aggressively and most likely verbally confronted at some point if they are open about being on medication. The charlatans will throw essential oils into your space saying that they can cure anything. Others will try to get someone to talk to a new age leader in the “inner circle” and attempt to persuade the client that western therapists/psychologists just want to drug people and ignore the spiritual cause of unrest. They’ll cite earthing, crystals, vaginal wands, special teas, dietary habits, and color therapy as causes and answers to everything…. All while regarding victims of sui**** as unfortunate souls and lost causes etc.

7. A summary. I need to sum up other issues here quite quickly or I’ll be typing all day. XD Many of the women here are terrified of gaining weight or looking older. They hide behind the thinning veil of “health and veganism” to justify their worrisome habits to feel sexually appealing to supposedly “woke” men. Disordered eating and terror of eating one granule of processed sugar permeates the consciousness. You can be judged for anything from buying pokemon cards to eating legumes…. of all things. Most of the men are sexual predators who prey on younger women, rely on narcissism as a personality type, and don’t let anyone get a word in edgewise when their opinions are challenged. Many of the women validate these behaviors and blame themselves when they get hurt citing “spiritual growth” as a silver lining to cure all traumas. I would say that 95%+ of the people in the community present a perfect picture of themselves online while having crumbling relationships and failing inner lives. You might see a post or video about “conscious uncoupling” of a spiritual "power couple" and then find out later that someone was in a relationship with a narcissistic predator or was experiencing physical abuse. Sadly, many of the victims gaslight themselves in the uncoupling announcement. Many people here are predators in other ways… they might launch a health business that uses essential oils to replace therapy. There are con artists all over the place who can range from simply overpricing their wares in alarming ways to trying to entrap people in “business contracts” that devastate their lives. I have had personal UFO experiences here and do personally think that extraterrestrial life exists, but I would NEVER try to manufacture a fake experience… One of the UFO tour guides was having people hide out in the desert and flash lights into the sky while people on the tour wore special glasses. Then she was charging an arm and a leg to channel “spiritual messages” from the e.t.s for her clients and saying that if they didn’t receive the message, something bad would happen to them. This is the fluffiest and lightest post I could possibly do to communicate how bad it is in the “spiritual community” here. This is only the tip of the iceberg.

The good news? Sedona is so much more than a toxic new age community. It is GORGEOUS and it does have many good, healthy/normal people here. =) I have had such a beautiful experience in this place and can’t say enough good things about it. I have easy access to healthy foods, endless nature to explore and bask in, and a growing community of people who call the new age community out on its toxicity. I read what I want, play Animal Crossing without blue-blocker glasses, regularly enjoy going to listen to goth music at my preferred venue (I’ve been demonized for this lol), and eat what makes me feel good. My partner and I have had a beautiful and successful relationship for nearly a decade now and create amazing memories every day. We have good friends all around the world… and I have a solid, BIG group of academic colleagues/friends locally who DO ethically cite their sources and contribute positively to science and higher learning. If you’re into paleontology like me, you are in fossil heaven! =D If you love astronomy or astrophysics, we’re in a dark sky city! There are so many cool things to do from playing in LOTR-worthy waterfalls, to sampling delicious vegan creations, to playing DnD on red rocks with your friends while a *real* UFO passes by overhead. Get yourself a smoothie and organic wrap from one of our incredible food trucks and drive out into the desert while listening to Nightvale with your love or your friends. =)

If you ever want a list of must-do’s while visiting, let me know. I’ve got your back! The point is that I just harped on the negative above, but the good news is that you can completely avoid all of the junk. Keep it or scrap it when it comes to the Sedona new age community? I say scrap it. But you can still pursue your spiritual interests in healthy ways here while enjoying all the yummy creature comforts that the Verde Valley has to offer. I hope this helps and if just one person comes here and has a safe experience because of my thoughts, then every moment I’ve spent writing this was worth it. =) <3

[everlarkficquestions]

Sunday Stumped Day 31

It’s another Sunday Stumped Day!

Sometimes we straight out get stumped. So every few months we will pick a Sunday when we’ll post of a list of asks that we need your help on.

If you know the answer to any of these asks please shoot us a message/ ask/  with the Post number and the fic details and we’ll add it and give you a shout out with our thanks. Any links you can provide will also be super helpful.

Thanks!

Post 1 , Post 2 , Post 3, Post 4, Post 5, Post 6, Post 7, Post 8, Post 9, Post 10, Post 11, Post 12, Post 13, Post 14, Post 15, Post 16, Post 17, Post 18, Post 19, Post 20, Post 21, Post 22 , Post 23, Post 24, Post 25, Post 26, Post 27, Post 28, Post 29 , and Post 30 can be found here - and there are still fics we need your help with.

521. bnedd said to everlarkficquestions:

Hi! I’m looking for a fic I read awhile ago. it’s post mockingjay and Peeta still has bad episodes. Gale comes back and the story shows her process of choosing Peeta over gale and one thing I really remember about it is that Peeta has a bad episode in katniss’s room and destroys it and snaps her favorite bow in half.  Thanks in advance!

522. 19fundiesandcounting said to everlarkficquestions: 

Any fics where Katniss fakes an orgasm?

523. thefuckingstory said to everlarkficquestions:   

hi i'm looking for a fic with everlark building up to having sex after the end of the series and working through trauma together.  i think katniss masturbates in the lake at one point.

524. imaginationgirl555555 said to everlarkficquestions:      

Looking for katniss/peeta fanfic. Katniss asked peeta over, believe baby was involved, he found out she is actually goigg on date, try's to persuade her not to go but she leaves. Ends up in her car crying at the restraunt where she was supposed to meet Cato for date. She ends up leaving to go to peeta

525. brithna said to everlarkficquestions:     

Looking for two fics. I remember a lot of it takes place in the tour... Pretty and and heavy. I think there was one part where they were on the train trying to climb to top just to see if they could. It pisses me off that I can't remember more because that's not a lot to go on, I know.   Another one -- the team pretty much helps some woman (I think) to jump off the train and get to D4. That's all I can remember...

526. brithna said to everlarkficquestions:  

Also looking for fic where katniss' mom tears Peeta's mom a new ass because she hit him then he basically moves in with them?

527. mellarkablegirl said to everlarkficquestions:     

Hello! It's me again. Sorry about the tonnes of asks. But I just wanted to know if anyone has everlarked the movie 'No Reservations ' ? The one with Catherine Zeta Jones and Aaron Eckhart.  Cause its practically begging to be . Also all the characters in the movie fit so well into the THG universe.  Once again I'm sorry about the influx of asks🙈

528. mandelion82 said to everlarkficquestions:       

I'm looking for an Age Gap fic where Peeta is Katniss’s teacher and they play piano together. In the end, he asks her father for permission to take her out.

529. waywardangel-wilds said to everlarkficquestions:            

Hi! I read a fic a long time ago that I cannot remember the name of it or anything. I remember that Katniss and Peeta had been arguing, or were just mad at each other for a while. Peeta went to town and was standing outside his house talking to a girl holding a laundry basket (delly I think?) And Katniss was so pissed at both of them that she shot an arrow at the porch column behind them.

530. 19fundiesandcounting said to everlarkficquestions:                                    

Any fics where Katniss dies in the quell?

531. saltyfacedelusion said to everlarkficquestions:                                            

Hi! I remember reading a small FIC, similar to the Final eight by fernwithy. A “five times”story. Gale watches the games and the first and second and comments on some points (actions, words of Peeta, of course kisses:)) angry and jealous. I looked at your jealous Gale sheet, but I didn't see anything like it.  Looking for a week, desperate ((Can you think of something?)

532. wendywobbles said to everlarkficquestions:                                                

Hello! I was hoping you could work your story finding magic for me. I remember reading a story ages ago. Katniss gets hurt, Peeta is a nurse and in her medicated state she sings to him  or  is super vocal about how cute he is. Gale catches it on his phone and it ends up online. It was a very sweet story, I’d love to read it again. Thanks 🙂

533. i-am-batman-chick said to everlarkficquestions:        

Hey,  Thanks for keeping up on this. I was wondering if you could help me find a story I read a while ago. I can't remember much but Katniss and Peeta were both going back into the arena. I remember there being a part where they were on the roof and Joanna was peeking out of the door watching them. I think she didn't believe they were really an item. I'm not too sure but I think when they were in the arena they were also talking about how they broke into Haymitchs and stole his alcohol too. TIA

FOUND! Catching Fire: Rekindling- Jamie Sommers The Johanna roof spying happens in Chapter 18  (Thank you, @icbiwf!)

534. hersheys-oranges said to everlarkficquestions:   

Hello, I’m trying to find this EverLark fanfic where I think they’re both campaign managers. Peeta is from an influential family and Katniss is from a common background. I think the author was gonna rewrite the story from either Katniss or Peeta’s POV because the first version was very well-taken. Thank you. :)

535. suenosyutopias said to everlarkficquestions:   

katniss cheats on peeta with gale and peeta stays with katniss because prim comes to visit (sorry my english)

536. weepingmilkshakesandwich said to everlarkficquestions:                            

Hi! Any fics where Katniss wears Peeta's jacket or shirt and other people notice?

The Bet by amelia_day, Peeta’s sweatshirt (Thank you, @567inpanem​!)

537. ryookineko said to everlarkficquestions:                                                      

Hi Guys, I am looking for a Pride and Prejudice type fanfic where Peeta is a merchant and Gale is like a dark bad Darcy. Katniss and Prim lives with Haymitch and Effie is like their governess trying to get Katniss married. I tried the master lists but couldn’t find it. Thanks!

FOUND Prospects & Propriety - juniebugg                

538.

do you have any 5+1 or 4+1 fics?

539.  the-fire-might-be-shooting-at-us said:                                            

Hi! I'm looking for a fit where Peeta doesn't mention Katniss or his love for her in THG and so after the games he basically gets turned into Finnick 2.0. I think there was an unrequited Katniss/Gale relationship at some point but I'm not sure.

540. bethpeaches123 said:                                            

Hi, you wonderful people! I’m looking for a fic where Peeta is a teacher/prof and Katniss is a student and they run into each other at a coffee shop one night and instead of her taking the bus he drives her home. Anyone know which fic I’m talking about? That’s literally the only thing I remember because I kept picturing the coffee shop i frequent. Thank you for your help!!

FOUND!  The Professor by atetheredmind. (Thank you @mrspeetamellark​ and @sunsetsrmydreams​!)

541. mellarkablegirl said to everlarkficquestions:                                                

the second one where Katniss's mother sells her villa/cottage to Peet and Finnick who open a restaurant or bed and breakfast there. I think Katniss moves back in with her mother when this happens .

542. allonsycaptain said to everlarkficquestions:                                                

hey, could you please help me find a fic? i read it this summer, in the story peeta and katniss were taking pills to treat their depression/ptsd, and then they stopped taking them because they couldn’t have sex because of them, and then they were sick later and felt terrible because they stopped taking them.. thank you for your help:)

FOUND! Cold Embers - lieselmemengers (Thank you, @rosegardeninwinter!)

543. Hey guys thank your for all the hard work! I am searching for a fic that I dont remember its name, is about Katniss and Peeta being a couple and one night at a party Delly kisses Peeta and Katniss decides to return home by herself walking on the street and someone kidnapps her for years, she has a miscarriage from her rapist but she manages to escape. The rest of the fic is of her coping from the trauma and Peeta helping her. — aloe--verga 

544. hungergamesfangirl02 said to everlarkficquestions:                                    

Hii! Do yall know of a fic where Katniss is taken hostage into the Capitol. And either she had intimacy or is pregnant with Peeta. And she gets hijacked to think Peeta is bad and that he raped her. And then Peeta is the Mockingjay. And when Katniss is rescued, and she talks to herself. And when she can tell what happened to her, Gale beats up Peeta.

545. justanotherrandomaccount9999 said to everlarkficquestions:                    

Hi! Do you know any fics where Katniss saw Peeta with another girl after the 74th Games but before the Quarter Quell? Thanks.

546. 19fundiesandcounting said to everlarkficquestions:                                    

Hi, I’m looking for a fix where everyone in district twelve, the victors and everlark were escaping a peace keeper attack through tunnels that led to district 13 but Finnick and katniss got captured. Also I believe that Cato and glimmer were torturing them. Thanks

547. myhopesareanchoredinyou said to everlarkficquestions:                            

hey! i’m looking for a fic (i thiiink it was on fan fiction. com or whatever) where gale gets reaped instead of katniss and peeta and katniss and peeta and gale are friends and gale thinks katniss is in love with her and katniss and peeta have sex in the meadow and katniss gets pregnant and they have to get married? they get married and katniss wears her moms dress?

A Mistake – VMA1998

548. redhoodhungergames said to everlarkficquestions:                                    

Hey! I don’t know too much about the fic but I’ll just list what I remember •Peeta and Katniss have sex in a kitchen, and in order to not make noise she bites onto his neck•peeta and gale are Gaurding some place and gale either sees the mark or peeta mentions it and he’s like “damn, she bit you?” (Gale doesn’t like Katniss here.)That’s...about all I remember, they weren’t sent into the games here if I recall correctly but I believe they exist Anyway I hope this is enough!

549. bethpeaches123 said to everlarkficquestions:                                            

Hi, first of all, thank you so much for the work you do with this, it is so appreciated and impressive how much knowledge you have! The fic I’m looking for is when Katniss and Peeta have won the Games and (I think) are forced to get married, and they get envelopes and have to go to The Capitol and have sex while paying customers watch? And at one point, they’re performing for a couple of men and one of them tries to join them I think? I’ve been doing some digging around but can’t for the life of me find it. TIA!!

550. craftydiva0828 said to everlarkficquestions:                                                

Thanks in advance and maybe I'm losing it but... Is there a fic where Katniss is pregnant during the Quell and they call the baby "Banana nut bread". I think they also communicate in sign language or silently.

FOUND! Catching Fire: Rekindling- Jamie Sommers  (Thank you, @blackberrysweater and @superchocovian!)  

Do any of these fics ring a bell? Please let us know!

[gaiyofanfiction]

Misfortune Chapter 1

Prologue - Prologue Pt. 2 - Chapter 1 - Chapter 2

Idol!Jaebum x Solo Idol!Reader

Drama/Slight comedy

A/N: YAY FIRST CHAPTER! We’re so sorry it took so long, but were finally posting! We hope you like it!

Disclaimer: This story is pure fiction. The name of the idol (reader) as well as the fandom name are fake and made up by us. The real life idol’s personalities portrayed in this fic are also made up by us. To our knowledge, the idols in real life are total sweethearts. We do NOT condone fandom wars or trashing idols in the SLIGHTEST. We are hoping this story will bring awareness to how stupid and toxic fandom wars can be.

Trigger Warning: Anxiety attacks, flashbacks and depression for the most part. Toxic fandom wars and bullying (Which we’ll explain further into the story). May be something later.

~~~

“Alright! Did everyone enjoy VAV's performance?!”

The crowd goes wild in response to Mark Tuan’s question. Jackson cheers next to him before speaking into his microphone.

“They did an amazing job, as always! Up next we have JYP’s own Rookie Group, Stray Kids!”

“Let's KCON!”

You hear the crowd grow louder for Stray Kids who you watch walk out on stage. You hear the beginning of Jisung and Changbin’s rap.

Your breathing grows heavy, knowing you're up soon. You practice your vocal exercises backstage, thinking about your lyrics and dance moves.

“I still can't believe you're actually here, in the same place as Got7. Who thought that was a good idea?”

You close your eyes, trying to ignore the snooty sounding voice from behind. ‘Lyrics and dance, Y/N. That's what you need to be focusing on’

“I mean, she did try to ruin JJProject's image all those years ago. That little liar was probably brought here as a publicity stunt, not actually because she has any talent.”

“Lord, help me,” you breathe out quietly before turning to face the nasty commentators, who just happen to be Nayun and Daisy of Momoland.

“Anything else you have to say to me, you better spit it out now. I have better things to be doing.” You cross your arms.

Daisy raises a brow. “Oh there's a lot I could say.”

“Do you two have anything better to do than bring up seven-year-old bullshit?”

You hear a voice coming from behind you, making you sigh with relief. Jimin walks up next to you, leaning an arm into your shoulder.

Nayun glares at the 15& member. “You're part of JYP and you're still on her side?”

Jimin grinds her teeth, trying to keep her temper. “Well, unlike some people, I listen to all the facts before jumping to conclusions. She also happens to be my best friend and I believe her.” She smiles sarcastically.

Before one of them can say anything else, you see Mark and Jackson walk up, joining your little powwow.

“Don't you two have a fan meet in an hour to get ready for?” Mark tilts his head, unimpressed with the current issue at hand.

Knowing they're outnumbered, Daisy and Nayun scoff and walk away. You sigh with relief and lay your head onto Jimin's arm.

“Thanks guys. I just don't have the energy to argue about this subject right now.”

Jimin pats your head with a frown. “No one messes with my wifey!”

Jackson slaps your back harder than he meant to, earning an ‘ow’ from you. “We got you, Y/N. Don't worry.”

“I still don't understand why at times, since your leader and I have the biggest rivalry in kpop history.”

Mark rolls his eyes. “We’re grown ass men who can decide for themselves who to befriend. You never did anything to us, why should we hate you?”

You smile at your old company friends, happy to still have them in your life. You hear the crowd cheering, signaling the end of the performance.

“Oh shit, Jackson, we gotta go. Cya Y/N! Can't wait to see you perform!”

Mark waves to you, pulling a complaining Jackson along with him. You hear a faint ‘Ugh, why did we agree to MC, again?’ coming from the Chinese boy, making you chuckle.

You notice Stray Kids exiting from on stage. You wave to your old friend, Bang Chan.

“Chris! You guys did amazing as always!” you yell with a smile.

The boy stiffens at the sound of your voice, turning his head slightly to make eye contact. He gives you a half hearted, closed mouth smile before quickly turning his attention elsewhere. Minho and Changbin shoot you a glare before ushering the rest of the group the opposite direction.

Your hand drops to your side as you groan. “Oh yeah, I forgot he hates my guts.”

Jimin hooks her arm with yours, pulling you in close. “Well, honey, you did kinda leave the company with no word. He probably felt slightly betrayed.”

You mumble at the response. You remember that day seven years ago.

You and Chan were pretty close during your last year as a trainee. He had come to the company in 2010 and you had taken him under your wing, being a trainee for three years prior. You both became pretty close friends, along with BamBam, Jimin, Mark, Jackson and JB.

After the incident at the showcase, you had left the company the next day with no word, no warning. The only people you stayed in contact with was Jimin, Mark, Jackson and BamBam. You didn't say anything to Chan, fearing he would hate you after what you had accused JB of. He must have felt betrayed by one of his best friends, because he hasn't talked to you since then. Every time he sees you, he avoids you like the plague.

“I was afraid of him not believing me about what happened. He looked up to JB and Jinyoung as mentors, I didn't want him to hate me.” You sigh, watching Stray Kids hurry themselves out from backstage. “Guess he ended up hating me anyway. And now the rest of them do too.”

Jimin pulls you in for a hug, trying her best to comfort you. She squeezes you tight. “It'll all work out in the end, sweetie. I promise.”

She pulls away as she receives a text message. “Looks like I'm going on stage soon. I got to go get ready. Just remember to hang in there.” She raises a fist in the air. “I'll be cheering you on while you're out there. KIT and Kittens, fighting!”

You give your best friend a smile, happy that she's here with you. She blows you a kiss as she walks back to her manager who's waiting for her.

“Y/N noona!”

You turn to see BamBam running towards you with a smile. Despite being fairly hated throughout the industry, you’re surprised so many people were happy to see you.

“Hey Bammie!” you open your arms to receive a big hug.

“Ah, I'm so glad you're here. We haven't seen each other in awhile.” He squeezes you so tightly, you could hardly breath.

“BamBam-ah, if you squeeze her too tightly, she might pop.”

Your entire body freezes as soon as you hear his voice.

You slowly turn around to see the reason for your last seven years of misery, the handsome face of your nightmares.

JB smirks at you, giving you the once over. “Well, look at what the cat dragged in. If it isn't the infamous Y/N. Or should I call you KIT?”

You set a hard glare on your face. “Or you could not talk to me at all, that would be good too.” You raise a brow. “If that was your attempt at an insult, it was pretty shitty. Try again.”

BamBam gave JB an awkward look, “yeah, even I didn’t find that good.”

You scrunch your nose at BamBam’s comment. “Um, thanks?”

JB chuckles coolly. “Damn, you're as cold as ever, aren't you. I remember the days where you were such a sweetie.”

You take a step towards him, poking a finger into his chest. “Yeah, all because of you, ya ass. If you didn't do what you did seven years ago, maybe I'd still be a nice person.”

JB glares at the finger in his chest. He takes a step forward pushing you a step backwards. “Don't go around lying like that, Y/N. It's not good for your image.” His glare turns back into a condescending smirk. “Well, what's left of it anyway.”

The two of you are almost nose to nose. As beautiful of a face that he has, the love you once felt for him is long gone. Everyone around you could feel the resentment and hatred seeping from the two of you.

BamBam laughs awkwardly before pulling you away from the smirking boy. “Alright, let's not do this here. Y/N, you should probably go and get ready. You're up soon.”

You let BamBam pull you back, but your icy glare stays glued to JB. Quickly you look at the lineup posted on the wall. You relax a little bit and nudge BamBam to let you go.

“It looks like I’m performing before you. It’s just ‘cause I’m better.” You chuckle as you lean against a pillar like you’ve won this argument.

JB slaps his knees and bursts out laughing. “Oh ho-ho-ho. You are sadly mistaken. Sweetie, you are the opening act. Got7 is the main act of Kcon this year. Did you oversleep again and miss the announcement?”

Everyone around you giggled quietly. BamBam put a hand on your shoulder, but you immediately pull away from his attempt at reassurance. Completely embarrassed you didn’t know what to do. It was like a scene from your nightmares. Everything staring at you, laughing. ‘Not again, god not like this.’

You became overwhelmed with emotions; so much anger and resentment. You bare your teeth and growl at him like a wildcat that’s ready to pounce, both fists clenched. You realize though that this isn’t you. You wouldn’t hurt him even though he’s done so much to you. This realization makes you feel completely vulnerable.

“What? You going to punch me little KIT?” JB mocks you with a condescending tone of voice.

‘Why does it have to be me? What have I done to you?’ You bite your lip trying to hold back the angry tears.

Suddenly you hear your name on the loudspeaker, making you snap your attention away from the situation at hand. Your anxiety spiking, you grab your headset and make your way to the edge of the stage.

“Don’t choke!” JB winks and leave, laughing on his way out.

You do your best to ignore him, knowing if you dwell on it, you really will choke. You take a deep breath and focus yourself. You hear Mark and Jackson from out in the audience.

“Up next, we have miss KIT herself! Please give her a warm LA welcome! Let’s KCON!”

‘Alright, Y/N. It’s your time to shine.’

~~~

[Masterlist]

[theshipsfirstmate]

Pitch Fic: Breathless Trains and Worn Down Glories

Valentine’s Day exchange gift for @maybetwice. Post-s1, Mike pays a visit to Ginny’s new place.

Title from “We Don’t Eat” by James Vincent McMorrow.

Breathless Trains and Worn Down Glories (AO3)

He shows up 40 minutes late, of course he does. Not that it really makes a difference either way, Ginny’s sullen subconscious reminds her. She’s been in a bad mood since the movers showed up at her doorstep hours ago, and she tries in vain to ignore the part of her that's genuinely buoyed by the sight of Mike Lawson on her new front stoop.

“Party’s cancelled,” she snaps, in spite of herself. “Did you not get the Facebook message?” As the words leave her mouth, before the confused frown even has a chance to wrinkle Mike’s face, she realizes her mistake.

“Of course you didn’t.” Sigh. “Check your phone once in awhile, grandpa.”

The captain’s expression twists even further in confusion, and when he glances down to palm at his jeans pocket, Ginny notices a few new streaks of grey in his beard. It’s strange, not seeing him every day in the off-season, but she'd never admit to missing him.

“I saw Blip’s car out front,” he points out, giving up on his phone almost as quickly as he started. She doubts he'd even be able to figure out which app to look at to find the now-deleted invite for what was supposed to be her housewarming party.

“Yeah well, Blip and Evy are here because I guilted them into helping--”

“Helping?” he interrupts. “What’s wrong?”

Mike looks at her, with that scrunchy, concerned face he points her way far too often, and her stupid heart does another little flip. She relaxes just a little, enough to open the door and take a step back, revealing that the entryway of her modest condo is stacked high with brown cardboard boxes.

“This is how my mother announces that she’s moving in with her boyfriend,” she sighs, again. “Or, fiance, I guess…”

“She got engaged?”

The word sounds foreign to Ginny’s ears and she realizes that some stubborn part of her brain was just refusing to put the pieces together. “She called to tell me they’re getting married,” she admits. “I guess so.”

She actually hadn't given it much thought until that moment, distracted by the U-Haul of a task at hand. She wonders if Kevin got down on one knee. She wonders if her mother cried.

“Anyway, she sent me like, half the stuff from the house so she can get it ready to put on the market.” Ginny’s eyes regain their focus and Mike’s looking right at her, almost through her, like he’s trying to figure something out. “And since all the boxes arrived today, and since I can’t really lift anything,” she motions to her immobilized arm, “it’s not really a great time for a party.”

He waits a beat before he speaks, and she expects something about how he didn’t cross the Coronado Bridge tonight just to be denied a celebratory bash. Not for the first time, he surprises her.

“Blip and Evelyn are helping, I assume.”

“Yeah.” She finally steps back enough to let him in, and he accepts the unspoken invitation. “Evy’s unpacking the kitchen stuff that I can actually use-”

“Could use, if you knew the first thing about cooking.” Evelyn materializes, poking at Ginny with a rubber spatula as Mike follows her through the front room into the kitchen, which she loves, even if her friend is right about her culinary skills. “There's some nice stuff in here and I'd hate to see you use it just to burn Kraft macaroni.”

Ginny ignores her, turning back to Mike, who’s appraising the room silently. She finds herself wondering what he thinks, daring herself to ask outright. “You want a beer?”

“Sure.” He nods, and gives her another smile that makes her knees wobble just slightly. “Where's Blip?”

“Carrying the rest of the boxes up to the empty guest room,” she answers, popping open two beers and handing them both to him. “You’re welcome to help him, back permitting of course.”

Mike just rolls his eyes and heads up the stairs with the drinks. A few seconds later, she hears him and Blip bound back down to the first floor, trash-talking as they try to one-up each other in a box-carrying contest. Evelyn's focus, however, as it has been since Ginny told her about the night outside Boardner’s, is singularly honed in on Mike's arrival. Or rather, Ginny's reaction to Mike's arrival.

“So he came over, huh?” Her friend poses it like a harmless question, back turned as she sorts through a box of flatware, though it's far from an innocent inquiry.

She rolls her eyes. “Just cause he's the oldest man in the whole world and didn't get the message that the party was cancelled.”

“So he came over,” Evelyn repeats with emphasis, drama practically dripping from her multiple innuendos.

“We're not doing this,” Ginny answers defiantly, her new mantra when it comes to her friend’s ceaseless questions.

Mercifully, Blip pops downstairs to ask Evy something about bathroom storage, and instead of listening, Ginny takes advantage of the distraction to escape the kitchen. Heading up the stairs and rounding the corner to the spare room, she sputters to a dead stop at the sight of Mike Lawson lining her Little League trophies up on top of one of her bookcases.

“You're opening my boxes? Seriously?”

“It was marked ‘baseball,’’ he admits with a shrug . At least he has the decency to look a little sheepish. “Figured you could put some stuff up in here, make this a display room.”

“This is a guest room and an office.” She argues because that's what they do, not because she's really bothered by it. And, if she's being honest, the baseball memorabilia makes the place feel homier than it has since she moved in two weeks ago. “I don't think we need every single participation ribbon up on the walls.”

He chuckles, digging out a few more trophies before diving into the box with both hands to pull out a tattered navy binder she remembers all too well.

It’s bigger than she remembers, and it looks heavy. Mike's biceps flex as he sets it down on the desk. Not that she’s watching Mike’s biceps. Not that she noticed when he shrugged out of his leather jacket to start unpacking her mementos, as if that's something teammates do for one another.

“Well then, what's this thing?” He cracks open the binder and Ginny shudders at the first page, a team picture from her junior year of high school.

“That’s the Ginny Baker Book,” she answers, matter-of-factly. “Stat sheets, press clippings, scouting reports, letters of recommendation. Everything you need to sell someone on Ginny Baker in twenty minutes or less.”

“Aw, it's kind of nice,” Mike muses softly, flipping through the pages. If she didn't know better, she'd say he sounds a little wistful.

Come to think of it, she doesn't know better. No one seems to know that much about the Lawson family, besides the fact that there doesn't appear to be one. Moments like these are when Ginny finds herself wondering the most.

“You parents made this?” he asks while she wonders.

“My dad used to keep this thing buckled in the backseat of his car.” That seems to break the spell, he looks up at her and laughs a little. “I'm not kidding. He'd keep it updated too, so he could show off all the stats from the game of the week.”

Then it's Ginny's turn to trail off, remembering her father in that way she always does when she thinks about the baseball she's played since he was there to watch.

Perhaps sensing that she needs a distraction, Mike leaves the book on the desk, diving back into the memories and coming back up with a smaller, white box that looks like it came from a department store.

“What is this?” He pulls out the contents to dangle his fingers, and wags his eyebrows at her. “Ooh, you gonna try this on for me?”

Ginny recognizes the dress immediately, and chokes out a laugh that tastes bitter. “That's the dress my mother bought me for my first school dance”

Mike must mistake her reaction to the memory for something else, because he stammers, awkwardly offering, “C’mon, I bet you were adorable.”

“Yeah,” she fake-laughs again for just a second before deciding, without really knowing why, to tell him the truth. “No actually, I uh, I never got to wear it.”

He watches her closely, obviously expecting more to the answer. She feels lame when she adds, “Baseball stuff, you know.”

She remembers the burn of that day so clearly, even now. Running home from school, ready to quit the game entirely for the sake of a life not lived. Finding her mother wrapped up with a man who wasn't her father and deciding, right then and there that her allegiance had to belong to one side or the other. Baseball or boys, sports or romance, talent or heart. Pick one, and own that choice.

It wasn't until adulthood that she started to look back at the other side of the story, the path she could have taken. It's not until moments like this one when she thinks about her mother being left out of the shorthand existence she and her father turned into a routine: staying home alone during week-long travel team road trips and working extra hours so they could keep Ginny in new cleats and pay for a private pitching coach.

It's not until recently that she’s realized she's not the only one who was lonely.

“For a long time, I blamed my mom for that.” Ginny tells Mike, thinking back to the dance, the first of many missed. “It just made sense, I was already blaming her for everything else.”

He snorts out a humorless laugh that sounds like he's familiar with the feeling. She looks up at him and he just nods tersely before turning his attention back to smoothing the dress back into its box.

“We were so close when I was younger.” She tells him more, because having him this close to these pieces of her childhood has opened some sort of floodgate. “Then, I don't know, we just kind of gave up on each other.”

“Still, I kept her secret for all those years,” she continues, tangent devolving past the point of Mike’s understanding, but unable to stop herself, “and now I'm supposed to stand there and smile while she marries him, like it's totally normal?”

He's quiet for a long moment after her little rant and Ginny feels that specific kind of embarrassed guilt that comes when you've said more than you should have. She also finds herself trying to predict him again, despite knowing that it's an exercise in futility.

“Sometimes, all we can do for the people we love is be completely selfless.” The words grate from Mike's lips and she finds herself watching them, hoping there's a caveat coming, even if she's not entirely sure why.

“And sometimes,” he takes a step closer and it feels like the temperature in the room goes up, “we have to be selfish.”

She knows that they’re talking about her mother -- who, in hindsight, held her family together for as long as she could, despite her husband’s singular focus and in spite of her own happiness -- but Ginny wonders if there isn’t something more to it. Something that would explain the feeling in the pit of her stomach at Mike’s words, something that would explain the way he's looking at her.

He lifts a hand to cup her cheek, using his thumb to wipe away a tear she hadn't noticed falling. He's close, when Ginny looks up to meet his eyes, she wonders if he's closer now than he was that night outside the bar. Her breath hitches when she realizes that he's looking at her the same way, too. That's when she runs.

She flees back downstairs to the kitchen, where Evy's pouring another glass of wine.

“Me too, please.”

“OK, now are we doing this?” Evelyn hands over her own goblet, clearly able to see something written all over her face. Ginny wishes she knew what it said.

“No... I don't know,” She answers almost to herself, mentally sorting through how she came so close to kissing Mike Lawson again. It may be the most she's ever wanted something she knew was terrible for her. “Things are getting a little intense.”

“Like intense, intense?” Evy’s ready to pry, but when Ginny screws up her face, trying to better articulate the way she's feeling about her teammate’s physical and emotional proximity, something changes.

“Oh my god, OK, message received.” her friend flutters her hands and practically squeals, but she doesn’t explain herself. “I'm going to… We're going right now. We're gone. Blip ?”

Evy's husband appears from around the corner, but her voice inadvertently summons Mike from upstairs at the same time.

“You guys leaving?” Ginny can feel his eyes on her as he descends the stairs, but when she finally glances back up at him, he's looking at his feet, seemingly as shell-shocked as she feels. “I guess I’ll walk out with you.”

She's the one who ran first and yet, Ginny's stomach twists at the idea he might leave. This time, she doesn't even pretend not to know why.

“Yeah, I uh... I guess I’m in good shape.” She presses her lips into a tight smile and looks everywhere but Mike’s face. “Thanks for all your help, guys.”

She hugs Blip before Evy hustles him out the door, leaving her hanging with a kiss on the cheek and a not-so-subtle punch to her good arm. And then there were two.

“So, thanks for for coming to my housewarming party,” Ginny quips because it’s easy. Jokes are good. Jokes are what they need if they're going to move from stalemate back to teammates, to return to a place where every single moment isn't fraught with this heavy kind of tension.

“Always happy to help warm a house,” he replies, like he's aware of her inner monologue. They're pretending to watch Blip and Evelyn drive away, but she wonders if Mike’s as aware of her standing next to him as she is of his presence. “Congrats rookie, it's a really nice place.”

“Season's over, Cap. I'm not your rookie anymore.”

Ginny says it almost unconsciously, but even if she had planned it, she'd never have expected him to look so… stricken? He masks it after a moment, shaking his head a little, but there's no denying what she saw. It makes her heart twist to the wrong side of painful.

“You should take a look at the rest of that scrapbook.” Mike offers finally, giving her one last look at that indecipherable smile. “Read it all the way to the end.”

It's not anywhere near what she was expecting him to say, and so it freezes her in place, long enough for him to turn and stride down her front path to the driveway. She watches him walk all the way out to the street, and it's hard to tell in the dark, but she's pretty sure he looks back at her before sliding in the driver's side door.

Ginny shuts her front door behind him with her eyebrows still furrowed and actually pretends to go to the kitchen, fighting her curiosity for all of 30 seconds before she's racing up the stairs, flipping open the binder on her pre-assembled Ikea desk and turning to the last page.

It's a newspaper clipping for one of her games, just like hundreds of others in the book. But it’s not yellowed yet, not worn or delicate like the older mementos. There's a pink post-it on the page, and her throat closes up when she recognizes the handwriting: “Last game of Ginny’s MLB rookie season.”

She flips backwards through the book, watching her rookie year flash by in reverse rapid fire as she realizes. She's bolting down the stairs before she hits the minors, flinging the front door open before she even realizes what she's doing.

Mike’s car is still there, parked right in front of her mailbox. She's surprised to find that she expected it to be. The only thing she’s not sure of -- Ginny realizes, as she takes purposeful strides towards him -- is what to do next.

Something changes inside her when her bare feet pad across the smooth stones that lead to her driveway, when she's close enough to meet his eyes as he steps out of the car. This is her house, and there's a man waiting for her, and the thrilling novelty of both of those things has her ready to make what might be a very bad decision in a very big way.  And then, all of a sudden, she's right in front of him.

“My mother...” He smiles at her, sweetly, because he knows , Ginny realizes. “Thank you, for that.”

“Not a problem.” This time, the smile almost turns into a smirk, and she doesn’t mind it. But she's too knotted up inside to find something clever, and then she's just staring, stuck between the things she wants to say and the things she wants to do.

“We gonna go through this again?” Mike finally wonders aloud. “Standing here in front of each other when there's a car I should be getting into?”

She's a little stunned by the boldness of his callback, but her feet take another step closer and her tongue offers up the response like she's had it planned this whole time. “No. Because we’re really gonna do it this time.”

Sometimes you have to be selfish , that's what he'd said.

“Yeah?” A full, brilliant smile suddenly stretches across Mike’s face and Ginny wonders if he even tried to stop it. “I gotta admit, rook, glad as I am to still be a Padre, I've found myself wondering what might have happened if Oscar had called just like, five minutes later.”

“Soon as you're done waxing poetic on it, old man.” She takes another step forward and a deep breath, because between his admission and her adrenaline, she can practically hear her heart thudding in her ears. “Kind of need your lips for this next part.”

He does stop, pausing and watching her with wide eyes, as if to show her he's ready, and Ginny has a split second of panic laced with deja vu. She's so close to him now, so close she can feel the warm of his chest and smell a hint of hops on his breath, and he’s leaning in, waiting for her to meet him halfway. It’s just the two of them, without a ticking clock, the possibilities are infinite until...

Ginny thinks about consequences, about their teammates, about the odds that one of her neighbors is going to put this on Snapchat -- then she remembers Mike’s phone buzzing in his pocket outside Boardner's, breaking the moment they could have had. It's all the motivation she needs to close the distance and press her lips to his.

His reaction is immediate, deepening the kiss until she can feel it in her knees. He tugs her close but not too tight, aware of her arm awkwardly pinned between them as his hands wrap around her waist and squeeze, fingers pressing in like there’s something he’s trying to keep. She loses herself in it, anchoring her free arm around his broad shoulders and letting her heart take over for the first time in over a decade.

They pull back but not away after a long moment, foreheads pressed against one another, taking in oxygen and each other.

“I'm glad you didn't go,” Ginny admits breathlessly, hoping he can hear the unspoken desire laced through her confession.

“Me too,” Mike whispers back, before capturing her lips again. “But I'm sorry I didn't get to kiss you like I was leaving.”

She wonders what the difference is, until the slow drag of his mouth against hers, the tease of his tongue against her lower lip, spells it all out.

There will be consequences, she's sure of it. But not yet. Not tonight. For now, there's just the sound he makes when her fingers tangle in the hair at the nape of his neck, the prickle of his beard surrounding the softness of his lips, and the feeling that she's finally home.

[unholyhelbiglinked]

Apartment 1584 | Charcoal & Lavender

[Okay, so awhile ago I posted a oneshot called 8:00. This is kinda a sequel of sorts. Or it will be a full length book in the future, but I don’t know. Please message me your opinions because I have no idea.]

The chilled air burned her lungs like she had taken a long puff of smoke instead of a simple breath. It bit at her and tore her throat apart. Grace had never been mortally stabbed, but the pain that was growing in her chest reminded her of a heated blade. It cut like butter but stung like a million degrees.

The street was oddly silent, the souls of her boots slapping against the pavement and echoing off the large brick duplex’s that surrounded her on both sides. It looked so picturesque. The snow fell softly against dark ivy vines placed right outside of long bay windows. There were no lights on, everything dark behind the glass.

Grace had a feeling that whatever lay behind the red painted doors weren’t what they appeared to be. There were secrets hiding underneath the facade and violence resting just below that. But right now she supposed it was kind of beautiful.

Her eyes were trained on the large building at the end of the block. It stood out against the row homes and looked more like a convention center than an apartment complex. It hadn’t changed much since the last time she was there. It hadn’t changed much in the last ten minutes in fact.

She was racing against the clock though- time usually didn’t matter for her, but at this point, time was everything. She had as much as she could ask for, but right now, she wanted- no craved, more.

The blonde didn’t stop as her hand wrapped around the frozen metal bar that was next to the staircase. It was simply for stability. The steps were icy, the concrete slick as she didn’t dare stop to catch her breath.

The rubber bottoms of Grace’s shows seemed to slide softly as she skidded to a stop in front of the door. The door that had the old golden chipped numbers on it that read 1584. The four was almost completely drawn away from its hinges- a stained area of paint having given away under the sun.

Or course, the tall girl didn’t’ care much about that. Her fingers were numb by the time she reached for the brass doorknob. It didn’t matter much that she wasn’t invited in. The familiar warmth hit her quickly as she stepped right across the threshold.

She had no idea how the layout of this place worked. She had only seen the small lobby for few seconds during her conversation with a stranger. A stranger that she shouldn’t care this much about. She had botched jobs before. It was tragic every time, but it never left this strange feeling in the pit of her stomach. Not like this.

The smell of the small apartment was almost overwhelming, a thick silence engulfing her as Grace took a few varied steps. She was sure that she had tracked some ice into the small abode, her path careful as she came into what looked like a living room. A couch. A television. A broken glass table.

There were shards everywhere- her rubber soles crunching loudly against the fragments. Her brown gaze searched for any type of crimson. It didn’t’ mean much. The absence of blood didn’t’ mean the absence of death.

It hung in the air just like the quiet. She couldn’t even hear the small dog that the woman had with her mere minutes ago.

“Shit.” She breathed out, pressing her icy fingers to her hairline. Her hands were shaking. Grace wasn’t too far what the cause was. The cold or the fear that ran through her veins. “Shit, shit, shit.”

Grace couldn’t keep her legs from falling away from her. They didn’t want to hold her up anymore, everything beginning to ache as her body caught up with the pain she had just put in through. This woman’s couch was close, it wasn’t comfy though. At this point, that didn’t seem to matter though.

“It’s 8:17.”

“I know.”

Her chest burned in a sharp pain. She had her gaze trained on the patterned carpet that seemed to bring the room all together. She hadn’t noticed it before.

“You’re never late.”

“Drop it.”

“You want me to drop it?” The familiar voice responded to the girl. It was deep and gravelly. She had heard it more than once and made her stomach drop every single time it sounded. The floor didn’t creak under her weight, the wind not changing.

Grace refused to look up. She didn’t need to see the dark auburn hair and equally as deadly eyes. They were all too known. It stirred up a quick hatred in her. “Yes. I do.”

“Hmm” she felt the couch dip softly next to her, a soft sigh escaping the stranger’s lips. “You never screw up, Gracie. Why would I just drop a beautiful moment like this?”

“Right” the blonde leaned back on the couch, “Forgive me for thinking you had a bit of humanity buried deep within yourself, Mitch.”

An envelope of silence seemed to fall over them. There was no ticking clock or shattering wind. It was just silence. One that was heavy and hung in the air like a thick fog. Grace’s whole body was rigid. She refused to let herself relax. Instead she glanced over at the man next to her.

He was tall, his shoulders broad and skin smooth. His hair was styled in a chaotic way- gel making it stick up in odd places but correlate all at once. His jawline was sharp, the whole roughness of his face being interrupted by thick rimmed glasses.

The man wore a pitch suit, one with a dark red button down resting under the blazer. He smelled of pine and charcoal. Grace never understood what was so important about dressing up for things like this. She supposed it had to do with the credibility. She did find it harder for people to believe that she was more than just a random woman on the streets.

“Humanity is a thing of the ages, Mon Amour.” He lifted his chin softly “In all of our years I have never once shown an ounce of it. What makes you believe I would now?”

Grace scoffed, a small smile playing at the corner of her lips. “Pure faith.”

Mitchell deadpanned, his whole face dropping at the mention of faith. It was something he didn’t have much of. He didn’t search for it, nor did he want it. “Would you look at the time. It’s almost 8:30.”

“your point.”

“I’m not late to my occasions, Gracie.” He stood, letting out a small groan as he peeled himself away from the couch. “I have a new soul to show around and you? Well, you probably have to fill out a lot of paperwork after this blunder.”

Grace kept a stoic face. Her nails dug into the palm of her hand though, she couldn’t help but wince softly at the sound of his words. The prospect of paperwork was never fun, but somehow this would be so much worse. She didn’t have the heart to pen the strangers name into hundreds of “Sign Here” blanks.

“I almost feel sorry for you.” He sighed, pressing his fingers against his lips like he was contemplating something bigger than himself “Mamrie seems like a nice girl.”

The blondes head snapped up at this, a deadly glare hitting Mitchell as hair fell into her chocolate brown eyes. “What did you say?”

“Right,” he snorted “I did say seems didn’t I? I meant Seemed. Mamrie Seemed like a nice girl.”

Mitchell began to walk towards the back bedroom, or what Grace assumed was the bedroom. That was where it was supposed to happen. She didn’t’ have the heart to see the dark scene, nor would she ever want to.

“She was a little difficult to convince.” He stated plainly, his shoes tapping against the wooden floor. “Said she ran into a stranger that claimed to be an all-seeing Angel.”

“Stop.” Grace growled her words, her chest rumbling as she kept her stare on the man, her own mind protesting getting to her feet. She did anyway, her fists clenched “You don’t know anything.”

“it must infuriate you.” He smirked, clearly unaffected by the small outburst Grace had just given off. “Knowing that you could have saved her.”

“I can save her.” The blonde said despite herself, earning a raised eyebrow. His lips parted slightly. She didn’t expect to get any reaction out of him, much less a shocked one. She stepped close to him, breathing in the rocky scent he gave off.

He clicked his tongue “Oh, Gracie sweetheart. You have rules. Ones you’re suddenly willing to break for a complete stranger?”

“She’s not a stranger.” Her words were hushed “She was a good person who deserves everything that you can’t give her.”

“Hmm.” Mitchell pursed his lips, taking another step back towards the bedroom door. He knew deep within himself that Grace wouldn’t follow. She wouldn’t argue to his departure either. “I suppose all is fair in Heaven and Hell.”

[rofics]

Hidden omega (Part 17)

Fandom: Bts (Got7 + Big Bang + B.A.P + Monsta X + Seventeen + Block B) Who doesn’t love a good ensemb Pairing:  Namjoon x Everybody Genre: Smut/Fluff/Angst Au: Canon / Omegaverse au Length: 4.1k

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20

Summary:

Taehyung get to be happy, until memories hit him... 

Most of seventeen had gone to bed, only Mingyu, Woozi and Seungcheol was still awake. The youngest alpha had Taehyung on his lap, it had taken them over an hour to calm the beta down.

They still didn’t even know what had happened, but they all had an idea about what it could have been. “TaeTae are you ready to talk about it?”

He just shook his head burying it even more into Mingyu’s shoulder scent of pine taking over his senses.

Seungcheol knew that they couldn’t push Taehyung too fast, while he wasn’t sure what had happened he also knew that pushing him into talking too fast could also be bad for his health and mental state. “We all have tomorrow off, how about we go sleep in the spareroom and then talk about it tomorrow?”

He ran his hand through his fellow beta’s hair trying to get him to calm down. Taehyung still refused to remove his head from Mingyu’s shoulder, but he nodded in agreeance to the proposal.

Mingyu thought about it for a second before he decided that carrying Taehyung there was probably the fastest way of getting anything done. Carrying Taehyung like a toddler, the normally cheery male linked his arms behind his neck and just let himself be carried by him. Mingyu and Jihoon caged him in between them, Seungcheol spooned up behind Jihoon kissing the smaller alpha’s hair.

He looked at Taehyung between the three of them. The younger had fallen asleep between them all, dried tears were still on his face, but overall he looked more calm than he had an hour ago, but that might be because of the fact that he was sleeping.

Jihoon sighed as he buried his head in Taehyung’s hair taking in his scent. “It’s getting worse, each of his episodes are getting worse. I’m worried that he is going to do something drastic next time. Why aren’t they handling this? Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against taking care of him, I like when we take care of him. But we can only help so much.” His voice was low and mumbled, but the rest could clearly hear him.

Seungcheol kissed the small alpha’s hair. “I know, but we have to be here for him, he trusts us. And with his history we should be happy that he even opened up to us.”

There was no more chatter after that, the Seventeen members instead decided on just sleeping. Taehyung didn’t know how long time he slept but when he woke up, half a head of long reddish-brown hair was tickling his face. The sweet smell of a post heat omega was surrendering him, scent of thick maple syrup trying to pull Taehyung back into the realm of sleep, “Jeonghan?”, he questioned voice rough from sleep and the crying yesterday.

He was pretty sure that Jeonghan hadn’t been there when he had gone to bed last night, he had been very out of it, but he would of been able to remember right? “Talk later, sleep now.” The omega mumbled into his neck, tightening his thin arms around Taehyung.

The beta wanted to argue, but the sweet scent tired him and yeah… sleep sounded good who could say no to sleep? The second time Taehyung woke up, was like the first. He blinked a few times to clear his vision, the first thing he really noticed was Jeonghan with his head still buried in his neck, normal pristine brushed locks in a mess on top of his head and he had a death grip on the back of Taehyung’s shirt. Tho it wasn’t in a mean kinda a way, more like, you are now my cuddle buddy and you can’t leave.

This didn’t really surprise Taehyung, he had spent enough time with Jeonghan to know the older omega just really liked sleeping and cuddling. He was the first one to always be down for a nap. Their legs were intertwined and their fronts were almost glued together. He felt so much better with the omega’s scent around him. “Jeonghan can we wake up now?” He mumbled, even if his voice didn’t seem very convincing since he was very comfortable.

Jeonghan yawned into his neck. “I can smell food, yeah it’s time to get up.” He mumbled finally letting go of Taehyung. “When did you get here last night? I didn’t know that we were having sleepovers and to be honest I am fairly offended that I wasn’t invited.

As he sat up, a loose tank top that clearly wasn’t his falling of a thin shoulder, long hair a disaster and eyes still tired, he looked like a mess… but a cute mess. He yawned not bothering to cover his mouth.

Taehyung couldn’t stop himself from giggling at the cute mess in front of him. “It was late last night…”, he looked away a little ashamed, “I needed to feel safe.” He whispered the last thing.

“Oh. More important question, why did you sleep in your jeans? They are really itchy.” Jeonghan climbed out of the bed, pulling on a loose pair of shorts that he had discarded before claiming Taehyung as his cuddle buddy this morning.

The younger couldn’t stop himself from blushing. “I… uhm… last night was bad. Mingyu carried me to bed, I kinda ran here in the rain.”

“That explains why your cloth smells like shit, shower now.” Jeonghan commanded him, not even waiting for Taehyung to answer before he lightly pulled him towards the bathroom.

As they entered the hallway, the smell of food hit him and his stomach growled. The last he ate was from the hospital vending machine and that wasn’t real food. He shook his head. He couldn’t think about the hospital, he wasn’t there anymore. He lingered in the hallway for a second wanting to follow the smell of food, but a light tug of his wrist made him follow Jeonghan the rest of the way because he was right. Taehyung really didn’t smell very nice and his still damp jeans were chaffing his thighs in a super uncomfortable way.

First when he got into the bathroom and Jeonghan showed no sign of moving out did he realize that the older had the intent of showering with him. It wasn’t like Taehyung had never showered… or did other things… with Seventeen, but Jeonghan was normally less open with stuff like that, preferring to just cuddle up to people and nap.

“I can do it myself, you don’t have to worry about me.” Taehyung mumbled ashamed looking at the ground after having pulled his shirt off.

“Then you shouldn’t look like a lost puppy then,” he messed up Taehyung’s hair, “you known we don’t mind. We like you like you are, and sometimes you need more hugs than other times doesn't matter. I have been cuddling with you so I smell like wet dog as well, which is really not a smell I want to keep.”

Taehyung just nodded, he still wasn’t convinced. He always felt bad when he came down from an episode. “Thank you.” He still didn’t look at Jeonghan.

He felt two fingers forcing the sides of his mouth up and he couldn’t stop himself from actually smiling and showing off his boxxy smile. “That is better. Now get those jeans off, I am actually itching just seeing them. You can borrow some clothes while we wash that, or burn it… I haven’t decided yet.”

“It’s Yoongi-hyung’s shirt!” Taehyung protested.

The omega didn’t look impressed by that. “That explains why it’s child sized.” His tone wasn’t hostile or mean, so it caused Taehyung to giggle. Yoongi was very small especially for an alpha. “It also explains why it stinks.”

Taehyung pouted, he liked Yoongi’s scent, but then again he was biased. “You are mean.”

The long haired male just laughed throwing his own oversized tank top at him. “You still love me.”

“That’s because you smell good!” Taehyung protested, even if they both knew that it was a lie. Jeonghan like the rest of Seventeen had a very special place in his heart.

Jeonghan just stuck his tongue out discarding the rest of his clothes, stepping into the now heated spray of water. Taehyung admired the water running down his tall thin frame for a few seconds before he quickly threw of his own clothing, almost falling over getting the still damp jeans off his legs. The bathroom was filling with steam and Taehyung could feel how the rest of the stress in his body melted out of it, before he stepped into the shower as well.

“Can I get some water also or do you want all of it?” He teased, before running a hand up Jeonghan’s wet back and ending up playing with the tips of his hair. He always liked his hair none of the guys in BTS had long hair like Jeonghan, and he himself prefered to keep his very short.

Jeonghan didn’t answer instead dragging Taehyung in front of him, so they were again front to front and incredibly close. Even though they were both naked and wet there was nothing sexual about it. Water ran over Taehyung soaking his hair, forcing him to close his eyes as he stood right in the spray.

He felt long thin hands in his hair making sure that it was completely wet, before he was pulled a little bit more away from the spray. “Let me wash your hair, stand still.” he was commanded.

With the warm water still heating most of his body he felt relaxed and calm. So he didn’t argue with the older as he started messaging scent neutral shampoo into his hair. Jeonghan was one of the people who prefered not to use any artificial scents, preferring his own and other people’s natural scents to shine through.

He just let the omega move him like he wanted to being pushed back and right into the spray closing his eyes when he was told. Then it was out again as his hair now being drenched in conditioner, Jeonghan mumbling something about stupid bleach and how he should take better care of his hair, that was kinda right wasn’t it.

As he was told that the conditioner needed to stay in awhile he opened his eyes looking at Jeonghan feeling a little shy now. “Can I do your hair now? Please?” So he really liked the omega’s hair okay? Sue him!

“You sure you can reach?” He teased

“You are one cm taller than me!” Taehyung whined, causing Jeonghan to giggle. The BTS member was not used to being teased or being short, because he wasn’t!

“If you say so shorty,” but the tone was sweet as he gave Taehyung the shampoo, “At least your idea of washing isn’t trying to actively removing it from my skull.” He sighed a pleasant noise as Taehyung gently covered his locks in shampoo.

“Vernon?” Taehyung asked, tongue half out of his mouth focusing on doing a good job.

Jeonghan nodded “Yes, omg I am never letting him near my hair ever again. He tried to braid it since he used to do it to some of the girls in his old pack. I’m pretty sure that he was trying to make me go bald instead.”

The BTS beta could easily believe that. Vernon was a really nice omega, but good at being gentle he really wasn’t. For being such a shy and cute person, he wasn’t great as being gentle. Taehyung’s own hair had been the victim with Vernon when, before he had presented, had tried to pet his hair.

The white shampoo suds were slightly turning reddish-brown as it started to grab a hold of the dye in his hair signalling that it was time for him to get it out before he washed all of the dye out. Jeonghan seemed to enjoy the hands in his hair though, as he mumbled. “You have really nice hands though, you would think that with such big hands you would be destructive.”

Taehyung blushed at the compliment as he started washing the shampoo out, and then applying conditioner. When his job was done he looked over Jeonghan and he couldn’t stop himself from giggling. He was sure that they both looked silly with conditioner in the hair and their bodies started to turn red from how hit the water was set.

“Let’s wash the smell of wet dog off you. I know you love dogs, but I promise your own scent of peanuts is much better. I feel like this is a perfect opportunity for a doggy style joke, but I think that might turn on me.” He teased as he grabbed a sponge a red bottle of soap.

“You think?” Taehyung said in a teasing zone, on this topic Jeonghan had no leg to stand on, especially since Taehyung himself had taken Jeonghan in doggy style and watched other members doing it before. “Does that mean it’s not the time for a joke about how you act like a bitch in heat the second someone puts you on your knees?”

That caused Jeonghan to blush. “Shut up.” He mumbled, but not disagreeing. He started washing Taehyung as Taehyung himself grabbed a sponge to return the favour. It turned into playing much more than anything else. Both males could be childish at times, having started to make soap beards on each other, until they heard a very insulted voice from outside the shower. “You guys started showering without me!?” Jihoon looked way too adorable for any alpha. He was wearing a tanktop that for once looked to actually be his and running shorts

“We are almost done,” Jeonghan laughed, “not my fault that you guys thought it was socially acceptable to go to the gym at shit in the morning.”

“It was 11am!” The tiny alpha argued.

“As I said, shit in the morning, is there food ready?” He asked while starting to finally get the soap and conditioner off Taehyung.

Taehyung didn’t need to look at Jihoon to know he was pouting. “Yeah food is almost ready, piggy.”

Taehyung giggled, then started coughing as water founds its way into his mouth. He could hear the tall omega exclaim. “See! You are trying to kill Taehyung! Rude alphas!”

“Shitty omegas.” Jihoon mumbled loud enough for the beta to hear, he felt a light slap on his ass. “Go and join the rest in the kitchen, your stomach is loud enough that it sounds like an earthquake and somebody has to make sure that our little pack alpha washes his ass.”

“HEY! Can we at least pretend that you respect me.” The scent of cantaloupes was spreading from the pouting pack alpha. Taehyung did as Jeonghan told him, grabbing one of the big fluffy towels to dry himself, he had some of the idea that it wasn’t really cleaning that was going to happen in the shower.

He never really understood the balance between Jihoon and Jeonghan, but he couldn’t help but admire it. While Jihoon was technically the pack alpha nobody was really afraid of saying anything to him. He never tried to control any of the members and he even let the omegas top him most of the time. He thought about BTS, he had once tried to top Jungkook because he thought the young alpha would enjoy it, but Jungkook had more or less kicked him off him, half yelling how that wasn’t right and how alpha’s didn’t do that! That wasn’t an alpha thing!

That was why he liked Seventeen, nobody really treated subgenders like they mattered. Here he could forget that he was just a beta, that he was really just a disappointment. He shook his head, no he couldn’t think about that now! Even with the heavy air between Jeonghan and Jihoon, the alpha was quick to notice what was up with Taehyung. Over all the time Taehyung had spent with Seventeen, Jihoon almost had a special Taehyung radar always understanding when the thoughts took over the younger’s mind. “TaeTae, Wonwoo placed some clothing for you outside, unless you prefer to eat naked?” He teased knowing that it would make Taehyung focus on the present instead of the thoughts that haunted him.

Taehyung just blushed, even though all of the older Seventeen pack had seen him naked “Is everybody home?”

“No the kids went to train I think, they were gone when we came back. So either they left to train or got kidnapped.” Jihoon casual said as he ripped off his sweat soaked running top, looking at it like it had personally offended him.

Taehyung still didn’t completely understand the Seventeen pack thing, the two units, HipHop and Vocal were a pack. Then the performance was a different pack, them just waiting for Dino to present before they could claim him. The idea of having two different packs in one group sounded weird to Taehyung. But it worked for them, they were all as close as a group even if they weren’t all pack.

Taehyung just nodded. “I’m just gonna… uhm yeah.” He pointed towards the door half awkwardly.

Jeonghan laughed “You are always welcome to stay.” He teased as Taehyung blushed.

The beta just shook his head and half rushed out of the bathroom leaving a friendly laughing behind. He was always shocked how they could laugh like that but he never felt like he was a target of a cruel joke.

He almost fell over Wonwoo who sat outside the bathroom playing on his phone. He looked up at Taehyung a kind smile was on his lips. He always wondered how fans could think Wonwoo was cold. Yeah his eyes were sharp and he was an alpha, but he was really a sweetheart. “Jihoon said you had cloth for me.” Taehyung asked shyly.

He didn’t know why he was being shy, maybe it was because of how bad his breakdown had been this time. Or the fact he knew that he would have to talk about what had happened to make him like that.

Wonwoo pointed at a set of clothes. Oversized hoodie that was sure to be too big on Wonwoo himself and even bigger on Taehyung. There also was a pair of running shorts, but what really had Taehyung freeze in place was the bright yellow duck on the front of the hoodie. It was just like… Mr. Duckie.

As that thought hit him, he was forced into a flashback that he always tried to keep away from himself. His biggest secret that only Seventeen knew.

‘Taehyung hadn’t always been weird like everybody said he was. When he was younger he was mostly just a sweet adorable kid like Jimin. He always thought that he had one of the most loving packs in the world, which to this day he stood by.

His pack consisted of 2 alphas, 2 betas and 3 omegas. Taehyung was born to an omega father and his mother had been the pack alpha, but even though he was genetically theirs, all of the pack had treated him like their own. There pack had gotten Taehyung fairly young by accident, back then birthcontrol hadn’t been like it was now where it was completely safe. It had failed and Taehyung had been born when he father was only 19, it didn’t stop all of them from loving the tiny Taehyung. While they did decide that they would wait a good while until having more children… Sadly they never got to.

After they all finished school, they had traveled out into the country and ended up settling in on a farm away from society. They thought it would be the perfect place to raise the then 7 year old Taehyung. The farm had its own well and solar cells on the roof so they mostly could rely on themselves, even though they did all work as well.

When their dog died from bladder cancer an alarm bell should have rung in their heads, but they hadn’t thought about it. Many animals died of cancer, so they had just let it go. Taehyung had forgotten about Warwick and moved onto loving the ducks in the pond near them. At 9 years old, he had loved ducks so much he could spend hours down at the pond just watching them swim around. The pack had gotten him small duck toys, or clothes with ducks on. His favorite had been a big duck plushie that he would drag everywhere. He would sit at the pond and talk to Mr. Duckie while pointing at the ducks.

Everything was good and happy, and then suddenly in the span of 1 year his world fell apart. He knew that his pack had been a little sick, but he had never thought about it much, he felt fine and he was just a kid. Then the ducks started dying, he could remember running back to the house with a dead duckling in his hands. He had never cried so much.

They had finally managed to calm the young child down when their youngest omega collapsed on the floor as she started to throw up. Panic had spread around them, they ended up going to the hospital.

Stage 4 bladder cancer caused by arsenic poisoning. It turned out that the well they had been drinking from wasn’t safe like they had been promised. After that, frantic testing had started, they were all terminally sick, other than Taehyung.

The young child had always been picky, he hated water and most of the time the only way to get him to drink it was buying him coconut water. It turned out that that fact ended up saving his life. His father had been the first person to die, his body had always been frail and none of the treatments had saved him.

Seeing his father, the man that had raised him lying in the bed dying had been destroying for Taehyung, but he tried his best to be strong. Crying into Mr. Duckie as he was told that daddy wasn’t with them anymore.

Slowly his pack started dying around him, they all tried their best to appear happy and healthy to their little baby duckling, but slowly they all lost the fight with cancer. Atlast it was just Taehyung and his mother left, the once strong and happy alpha that would throw around Taehyung when he was younger, now struggled just lifting his hand.

He sat by her side, even as his caregivers had told him he didn’t need to be there for this he knew he had to stay! His mother’s skin was unhealthily pale and looked like it was hanging on her bones, her long healthy hair long gone, her eyes sunk into her head.

She knew she was dying soon, she knew that she was going to leave her son behind. She patted him on the head that last day. “It’s okay duckling, mommy’s friends are going to be good to you baby, you like Auntie right?” Taehyung nodded, tears running down his face, he had seen this before. He knew somehow that this would be the last time he would get to talk to his mother.

He wasn’t lying, his auntie was a very nice lady and her pack treated Taehyung like he was born apart of them, but they weren’t his pack! No he had to be strong for mommy! “TaeTae, you are going to be great. I know it baby, you are going to be amazing. Even when we aren’t here we are going to watch over you.” He nodded again, tears and snot running down his face.

Taehyung reminded her so much of his father, there was no doubt in her mind that her little baby was going to be an omega, he was going to be the best. She was sad that she wasn’t going to be there to see it, but she had faith in her baby. “You are going to be the best baby. And even when we are gone, we will always be in your heart… You’re always going to be our little omega.” Taehyung cried.

That was the last things he ever heard from his mother… and 9 years later as he presented as a beta… He knew that he had let his mother down… He had let his family down… He was nothing but a disappointment.    

Authors note: Can I please have a hug? I need a hug

Previous Chapter ! Next Chapter