#cbd body cream

[fiorhe6]

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[fiorheusa]

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[cannalle]

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[teaboot]

One of the best parts about working at a sex shop is the employee discount, and yeah that means excellent deals on sex supplies but that's not the big brain part.

You come to my house. Something is cooking in the kitchen- it smells wonderful. What is it? It's novelty dick-shaped pasta. I've set up a sensual sexy Italian dinner. There are candles set up on the table. They're melting too fast, dripping everywhere- they're low temp waxplay pillar candles. For dessert, I serve you a delicious ice cream topped in penis-shaped rainbow confetti sprinkles and strawberry body paint drizzle, and afterwards, serve coffee with roasted hazelnut warming lube.

We play a board game while we drink. It's sexy monopoly. It's your turn. You roll the dice. They come up as 'whisper into' and 'butt'. I lost the original dice. We're using the sexy dice. You move four spaces.

After dinner, I run you a bath. A bubble bath. The bubble gel? Sensual ocean breeze. There are candles lined up around the tub. The scent is overpowering. Why? They're three-in-one fruit flavored massage oil candles. I'm using so much. It's so wasteful. Do you want to shave? I have conditioning shave cream that smells like limes. And an electric body razor, but you can't use that in the tub.

How about a bath bomb? You toss one in. It's cherry blossom scented. As it dissolves, three sexy bath sex suggestion cards fall out. They're all variations on doggy style, probably because fucking in a bathtub is probably the easiest way to break your hip.

The water cools. You get out an dry off with a novelty towel. If you wrap it around your chest, it looks like you have gigantic tatas bursting through the fabric like the Hulk.

You walk into the bedroom. I'm there, reading an instructional book titled "The Housewife's Guide To Every Day Stripping". I'm wearing a neck pillow designed to look like a massive curved weiner. Also a pair of fake leather bondage leggings and an oversized men's christmas T-shirt that says "Jingle My Bells" across the front.

I see you come in. I put down the book, take off the pillow. Offer you a massage. You accept. I already burned up all the massage candles so I pop a new bottle of CBD massage oil that says something wrong about Chakras on it. It's very gritty. That's because there's little chunks of amethyst in it for some fucking reason. It's fine, though. You say you don't mind.

I don't do massages very often. It's bad. You end up more tense than before. One of your muscles starts to cramp- it's okay. I whip out a bottle of Lidocane topical masculine performance numbing spray. You immediately feel like your shoulder went to the dentist. It's not ideal, but it's better than cramping.

You're not in the mood to bone after that. Which is good, cause I'm actually pretty asexual, but it hasn't come up yet so I'm relieved to avoid the conversation. Instead we get ready for bed. (The weather is terrible, and I insist you stay over.) I set up the futon, then realize it smells like cigarettes from the previous owner and shyly ask if you wanna cuddle in my room. You're down.

I crawl under the covers, placing my penis-shaped pink glitter pride bottle on the side table in case one of us wakes up thirsty. Once you're settled in, I turn off the glowing bare ass night light and the room goes black.

It takes a few seconds for your eyes to adjust, but when they do, you look up at the ceiling. It's dotted all over with little green flourescent lights. Are they plastic stars? No. I've pinned up a thousand glow in the dark condoms. God bless

[celepeace]

One of the things about legal weed is that edibles are getting too good. They don't taste kinda nasty or just okay. The chocolates are legit tasty high quality chocolate and the gummies are flavored just right and have the perfect texture and the right level of sweetness. They're dangerous purely in they taste so damn good they could be included in a box of high quality expensive sweets and no one would notice a thing. I want to eat them just bc they're fucking delicious

[kalikare11]

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[newworldcbd]

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[latenightdaydreams]

König x Disabled!Reader Head Canons

For the physically disabled lovelies 💗

Part 2

Completely gender neutral. All fluff🩷

Not all physical disabilities covered, if interested I can make a part 2.

At first König treats you like a delicate little flower

Slowly understanding that he needs to stand back and wait for you to ask for help

He goes out of his way to learn about your disability and ways to support you

If you have gastric issues

He will prep meals you can eat and buys snacks that are safe for you

Makes you home made broths instead of the box or cans

Only the best for his Schatz

In his free time, he sits down and organizes your pills for you so you don’t have to worry

Organizes your braces to be easily accessible for you

Sees a cool cane on Etsy, buys it for you

König drives you to every doctor appointment, no matter how minor

He will go in and sit with you

König is your biggest advocator

He will speak up for you when you feel you can’t

Makes sure you get the best care

THAT YOU DESERVE

Keeps an extra asthma inhaler with him at all times

If your condition requires physical therapy

He learns what stretches or exercises your PT requires for you

Always encourages you and tells you how well you’re doing

"mein Schatz, you put the soldiers I train to shame." *head kisses*

(Even though all you did were 2 sets of donkey kicks and some clams)

Chronic pain?

He learns pain maintenance at home

Königs large strong hands gently massaging sore points of your body

Win-win for him because he loves to see you better and loves to touch you

“Don’t push yourself Schatz, what can I do for you?”

Always has extra pain patches, cream, and even CBD gummies on hand for you

“Heat or ice?”

Bed is covered in pillows for any support you’ll need

Stairs your biggest enemy?

König can carry you

And your wheelchair/walker/rollator

All the uppies

Does routine maintenance on your wheelchair for you

You sit there worried you aren’t good enough for König

All the while

König sits there wondering how he got so lucky to deserve you

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hi sex witch. I jorked it a little too hard tonight. considering that it's about midnight and I cannot go to the store, what (if anything) would be okay to put on my poor clit. body lotion? neutrogena water gel? neutrogena water cream? lavender CBD lotion? ice cube? these are. the only options.

oh man okay this is why you shouldn't hit me up for semi urgent advice I do Not get to my inbox fast most times lmao

you're gonna want something unscented for sure; I usually prefer my own body lotion or the over the counter cortisone cream I use for my eczema in a pinch. any lube you have on hand could also help ease the discomfort, including oil-based stuff that might be in your kitchen like olive oil or coconut oil (as long as you're not allergic). godspeed, soldier.

[fiorhe6]

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[fiorheusa]

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[cannalle]

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[doncherrycola]

Anyone who works a desk job or is knowledgeable about mucles and the body.. every couple months the hours spent bent over a computer / typing get to me and my neck and shoulders ache quite badly. Ive been stretching (although clearly not well enough) and i use a tennis ball to work out the knots and cbd cream on myself when the pain flares up. But if anyone has better solutions please lmk

[kalikare11]

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[absentlyabbie]

*slathers a quarter of my body in menthol-cbd cream and knocks back 1000mg ibuprofen* maybe this will fix me

[sarahowritesostucky]

Tips for coping with depression

As someone who struggles deeply with depression, I thought I'd post these very simple but very crucial tips for overcoming a low time

FIRST AND FOREMOST, IF YOU ARE UNHAPPY ENOUGH THAT IT'S AFFECTING THE WAY YOU ENJOY LIFE, YOU'RE UNHAPPY ENOUGH TO SEEK OUT THERAPY AND POSSIBLY MEDICATION. My depression doesn't usually manifest as sadness. It manifests as exhaustion, lack of drive, and tanking self-care. So it took me a long time to realize that it "counted" as depression. If you don't have insurance, look up a therapist who is willing to do a payment plan and to see you only a couple times a year, maybe just via tele appointment. They might be able to prescribe you medications if that's what you need. I was VERY hesitant to start meds, but I tried low doses of two meds and they rapidly turned my life around.

But in addition, here are my personal recommendations:

BRUSH YOUR TEETH. Always do this first. I don't know what the heck it is about depression that makes brushing your teeth so damn hard, but it's a thing, and you'll feel better if you do this first.

START WITH A SHOWER. Once you finally manage to force yourself out of bed, please for all that is holy, just get a shower. I prefer baths, but I've heard from others that the shower part is crucial to them. Get a shower and stay in there as long as you friggin' want or can. Get some tingly mint shampoo. Get a tingly face wash. That shit is invigorating. I actually keep my toothbrush and toothpaste in the shower and brush at the end of my bath (whatever I'm depressed and weird)

GO OUTSIDE. Even if it's just opening a window or standing on your apartment's balcony for a bit. Go outside and see the earth. Go for a walk.

GET SUNLIT. get assessed for vitamin D--you probably need supplements. Purchas an indoor SAD sun lamp; you can get them pretty cheap on Amazon and just 30 mins a day with that thing makes a difference!

SUPPLEMENTS. Important and useful ones I like are Vitamin D, Ashwaganda, CBD oil, Kratom (approach with care if you have addiction issues). And take a friggin' multivitamin--you're a grownup.

ALWAYS DO SOMETHING KIND FOR YOURSELF. do something small, simple, and kind for yourself, for no reason other than it's a simple pleasure. Eat one of those tiny half cup portions of ice cream they have at the grocery store, put vetiver oil in your bath, get the overpriced drink at Starbucks you always tell yourslef you shouldn't waste money on, light a candle or get one of those misting waterfall thingies and plug it in. Watch some cat videos, do a coloring book, bake a batch of muffins. Whatever feels nice to you.

LISTEN TO HAPPY MUSIC. I'm a big fan of angsty, dark rock and alternative music, but I force myself to avoid it when I'm having a hard time mentally. Instead I listen to upbeat gym music or pop, music that sound how I wish I felt.

CLEAN YOUR SPACE. If you're my kind of mentally ill, your living space sometimes can get pretty bad. There can be are piles. Put on some of the aforementioned music and get going, one item at a time, you can always take a break or stop whenever you want.

GO TO THE GYM. People who've never really worked out don't seem to believe us gym rats, but it's true: regular exercise can help almost as much as (or more than) antidepressants!

DRINK LOTS OF WATER AND EAT WELL. I used to be a diet soda addict, okay? But water is what our bodies thrive on, and you'll be amazed at how much more awake a simple chug of water can make you feel.

CALL A HELPLINE. If you need to talk, call a helpline. It's so easy. You don't have to be in crisis mode or at the end of your rope to call, and unless you're on the phone actively threatening immediate harm to yourself, they aren't going to do anything but give you a kind ear. I volunteer at one of these helplines, which strangely also really helps with depression.

BE KIND! To yourself and others. It's free to do and worth its weight in gold to the people on the receiving end. As Ru Paul likes to say: "Kindness is the highest form of intellect."