#chaotic dumbass meets lawful bastard

[noblest-roman-of-all]

dig your own grave

day twelve! this is kind of a loose continuation of my other fic ‘mundane’, with some added prinxiety spice!

pairings: virgil/roman, brotherly logan/virgil/janus

tw: none that i know of

One would expect that, with the level of dramatics his brothers always displayed, Logan would be used to it by a certain point. One would also expect that, after the last time one of his brothers had used their spare key to come into Logan’s house without asking and proceed to throw his life into disarray, he would change his locks. Unfortunately, one would be wrong on both accounts, as proven by the fact that Logan’s youngest brother disturbed his peaceful evening by storming into his apartment and then his bedroom, threw himself down on Logan’s bed, and then screamed for… Logan checked his watch. Twenty seconds. Logan didn’t know whether he should be concerned or impressed. When Virgil’s screaming died down to muttering, Logan cleared his throat.

“Is there something you would like to talk about, or did you run out of pillows to yell into?” Logan asked. Virgil flipped over and laid, star-fished out, staring blankly at the ceiling. 

“Please remind me to never, ever listen to Janus again. He let me dig my own grave, and for that I will never forgive him,” Virgil muttered. Logan let out an honest laugh at that. 

“I don’t know about ever again, but I will admit he can give some… questionable advice,” Logan said. Virgil lifted his head up and quirked an unimpressed eyebrow at him. He’d learned that this apparently meant something along the lines of ‘I am well aware of that by now’. 

“That doesn’t answer my question, however. Do you want to talk about it?” Logan asked. Virgil had very particular boundaries, and was rarely willing to divulge information without some serious prompting and several reassurances that it was fine for him to talk. It seemed this evening, however, was one of the rare exceptions. 

“It’s- there’s a- there’s a lot to it,” Virgil stuttered out. “There’s a boy.” Oh, now this was interesting. Logan wasn’t overly involved in his brothers’ love lives, but whenever they did come to him, it was always at a tipping point of something serious. Logan leaned forward slightly, and silently prayed his face was appropriately sympathetic and not overtly curious. It didn’t seem to matter, as Virgil continued his rant looking directly at the stars painted across the ceiling. 

“He’s in my Intro to Psychology class, and he’s so…” Virgil trailed off, seemingly at a loss for words. Logan nodded in a way he hoped was encouraging, his mind filling in all sorts of ridiculous synonyms for ‘attractive’ Virgil might be searching for. A moment passed and Virgil still hadn’t spoken up, so Logan cleared his throat again. 

“So what?” Dammit, he couldn’t keep the slightly teasing edge out of his voice. Virgil didn’t seem to pick up on it though, pulling at his hair in aggravation. 

“So… fucking annoying!” 

Well. That’s not where he saw this going at all. 

“He’s so full of himself!” Virgil continued his tirade. “He thinks he’s so cool because he’s in the theater program, and he’s in this club and that program and blah blah blah.” He threw his hands up in exasperation. “He sings, Logan! Constantly! Any time I see him on campus, he’s singing show tunes and Disney songs and- ugh!” His hands fell back to his side. Logan couldn’t hold in his chuckle after a moment. Virgil shot him a glare. 

“What’s so funny?” he grumbled. Logan collected himself, though he couldn’t hide his smile even if he tried. 

“Virgil, do you realize that you’re being somewhat… hypocritical?” Virgil actually gasped at the accusation. 

“I don’t know what the hell you mean,” he said. Logan laughed again. 

“You complained about him singing on campus, specifically Disney songs, but how often have I caught you walking around singing songs from ‘Nightmare Before Christmas’?” Virgil spluttered out a defense, but Logan wasn’t done yet. “Besides, just because someone is more willing to share information about their life and activities than you are doesn’t mean they are full of themselves.” Virgil glared again, and then slumped back down. 

“That’s what Janus said,” he groaned. Logan suddenly remembered what Virgil first said when he burst in. 

“What else did Janus say?” Logan asked. Apparently it wasn’t the question Virgil wanted, as he groaned again and hid behind his hoodie sleeves. 

“He said that the guy wanted to be friends, and the next time I saw him I should talk about some common interests or some bullshit. So when he came up to me in class I tried to come up with something, but I panicked and started blabbing about the class and psychology stuff and he didn’t say anything for a while and when I finally managed to shut up he just kinda smiled and left, so now he totally thinks I’m crazy and Janus was wrong and also I’m an idiot,” Virgil finished with a huff, the last sentence coming out all on the same breath. Logan was pretty sure Virgil wasn’t near a panic attack, but he certainly seemed to be spiralling, so he walked slowly towards the bed and sat down. 

“Virgil, listen to me, okay?” Virgil gave a small nod. “You’re not an idiot, and you don’t know that he thinks you’re ‘crazy’,” Logan said, with finger quotes emphasizing the word ‘crazy’. Virgil huffed a laugh at the gesture. 

“Janus could have been right. I’m not going to guarantee that he was, but it’s possible. A person sharing their interests with you is usually an indication they want you to know about their life, and they often want to know about your life in turn. It’s an easy way to start a conversation for some people,” Logan said. He heard Virgil mutter under his breath, “yeah, some people”, and couldn’t not laugh. 

“Even if it is true that he wasn’t trying to befriend you, or that he was and you somehow scared him off, why should it hold such importance in your mind? You said earlier you found him annoying more than anything else,” Logan said. Virgil stared at him for a long moment, then back up at the ceiling. 

“I don’t know. He’s just… he’s just kinda become a part of the routine of life, you know? And even as aggravating as he can be, it’s still nice to see him, and sometimes he actually does make funny jokes, and he’s the only one in class I can really snipe at, and he snipes right back at me, and even though him singing all the time gets really tiring he has a pretty nice voice, and-” Virgil shot up suddenly. 

“Oh no. Oh shit shit fucking shit I like him,” Virgil cursed. “I fucking like him and I’ve been such a dick to him and god dammit I really did dig my own fucking grave on this, how the fuck am I going to get him to even look at me now.” Virgil spent the rest of the evening at Logan’s apartment, eventually going home after tearing through some Thai food they had delivered. Logan expected he would hear more about it either from Virgil within a month, or Janus within a week. 

The next day, Logan stopped by the bookshop that was along his route from his new apprenticeship at the nearest tech lab to his apartment. No one was inside except the clerk who was there most often, a very loud, flamboyant man named Roman whom Logan had somehow become friends with through his many times coming to this store. Roman walked with him through the store as they traded stories about what was going on in their lives, how Logan’s new job was going (perfectly fine, thank you Roman), how the auditions went for the play at the local college Roman was attending (it went wonderfully, of course), and as they headed back to the register, Logan asked about the boy Roman had been mentioning off and on the past few weeks. 

“I’m afraid to inform you that it may be approaching a disastrous ending,” Roman sighed, scanning the books without even looking. “He finally spoke to me, but it was all about school. I may just have to accept that he isn’t interested.” The forlorn look was a bit ridiculous, but the dejection in Roman’s voice threw him off balance. 

“I wouldn’t give up too soon, Roman. It’s possible he simply isn’t great at picking up on social cues. My brother is much like that-” Logan fully intended on finishing his statement, but the realization hit him like a bus. 

Of course two of the most dramatic, absurd people in his life would find each other and immediately become infatuated. Logan had half a mind to tell Roman right then, but… a voice all too similar to Janus’s told him that it would be so much more interesting if he simply sat back and observed. 

Maybe he was digging his own grave here as well, but he could probably dig his way out of it if need be. 

[piermanwalter]

Inferring Fortitudo’s Character from Tiny Lore Scraps

SUPER SUMMARY: Fortitudo is awe-inspiringly lazy. He’s also the driving force of most major conflicts. At first this seems contradictory, but Fortitudo is willing to put monstrous amounts of effort into big laziness payoffs in the distant future, culminating in intentionally dying to avoid responsibility in the new world controlled by his faction. 

Metaphysics

Given the world of Bayonetta is one where ordinary people cause giant metal missile stingrays and headless flying centaurs to spontaneously burst into existence by collectively feeling emotions strongly enough, magical people can literally stop time by having massive egos, and history changes by remembering it differently, Fortitudo may be more like a law of physics than an actual being. Since Fortitudo has a seemingly endless number of smaller, younger clones and reappeared with no explanation in Bayonetta 2 after being ripped into pieces and dragged into hell in the previous game, I feel like as long as human beings have the will to do something they extremely don’t want to do, Fortitudo continues existing. 

Fortitudo is the spiritual manifestation of doing overtime at work until it turns dark. Of waking up every day next to someone you are mostly indifferent to, but still choosing to get into the same bed every night anyway. Of being ordered to perform what is indisputably a war crime, but you do it because it leads to fast victory. Fortitudo is lazy and unenthusiastic because you don’t need courage and fortitude to get through something you already want to do.

You may think, “That’s not real courage! Real courage would be quitting the job that makes you do overtime. It takes real courage to end a stable but unsatisfying relationship! Defy your orders and do the right thing!”, but that type of chaotic establishment-defying behavior is more the field of Hell, and any type of courage embodied by Fortitudo is the kind that allows you to be exploited by grander designs. What an awful existence.

Dialogue

In the first game, Fortitudo’s role was being gentle and polite while you have memory flashbacks of him killing and eating your friends, and then the city catches on fire and he’s like, “Ah hey! Are you a witch? If you aren’t a witch, we’re cool.” every time he meets you while playing off the giant lava waves as unrelated events. And then you kill him and he’s like, “I’m dying on purpose, dumbass.”

In the second game, Fortitudo’s role was being a silent, perfectly obedient ally and then exploding into seething, virulent hatred towards humanity and killing your wife/mother. And then you have to keep working with him because you will die without his help. Nobody talks about it, but it must be deeply awkward.

In the first game, Fortitudo went to sleep after darkness no longer had a major influence on the world of the living. He only woke up once you start smashing up the holy city. Depending on how long the Witch Hunts lasted, and when Jeanne started working for the angels, he may have been asleep for centuries, possibly longer than Bayonetta’s 500 years.

I think Fortitudo’s main goal of resurrecting his mom Jubileus stems from being super goddamn lazy and wanting her to deal with ruling the angels and the reunified Trinity of Realities so he can presumably sleep forever.

It is crucially important to know that Fortitudo is a master of Customer Service Voice and even though he seems polite, he is actually the biggest hater in the universe.

In the second game, once Jubileus is dead (or as dead as a deity can get), Fortitudo can no longer aspire to transcendental laziness, so he instead aspires to being spiteful. I’m not actually sure if the Fortitudo in Bayonetta 2 time travel section that was like “You are living proof that humans are fucking morons and can’t control themselves. Die you worthless bastards” is the same Fortitudo in the Bayonetta 1 flashback section that said generic world ruling stuff in the exact same room and time frame. If Fortitudo is like a law of physics, does it make a difference?

Coliseum

The Coliseum in Vigrid was made thousands of years ago to worship Fortitudo. Interestingly, no other structures exist in devotion to any other angel. Fortitudo probably spent a ton of effort guarding Vigrid from supernatural forces in its early days, enough to warrant a giant coliseum in thanks. Now that Vigrid is fully under heavenly control, he’s being lazy again. There used to be a walking path to the Coliseum, but in modern times it has collapsed. Anyone seeking his favor must enter the Coliseum through cliffs and crashing waves. It’s easy to imagine him blowing up the path to avoid dealing with hordes of worshippers.

Since Vigrid is “his city”, Fortitudo probably feels an entitlement towards it that makes him feel ok with summoning lava in the center of residential districts, presumably killing everyone. 

Relationships

Balder wore Fortitudo’s diamond shaped bling in the future (past), but in the past (future), he no longer does. I think that relates to Balder being fully devoted to him before the Witch Hunts, but once his wife dies and he gets possessed by an evil god, he stops caring about that specific alliance. Balder also stopped summoning him in fights, but I’m not sure if that’s because they became totally estranged from each other, or simply because Fortitudo was dead by the time Balder started fighting and couldn’t be summoned.

Fortitudo was so engrossed in a Zoom call that Bayonetta had to shoot him in the ass to get his attention at what was supposed to be his dramatic reveal. I think it might be with Jeanne, since she has Zoom called other angels, and Fortitudo is talking about how he’s so definitely worried and concerned about the affairs of demons, because it’s something you care about too -:). Jeanne is his only ally who cares about demons. 

Interestingly, Jeanne insulted Temperantia in a Zoom call, insulted Sapientia in a Zoom call, axe-kicked Sapientia off a plane in person, and refuses to talk to Iustitia, yet there were no insults spewing from the other side of the Zoom call with Fortitudo. Either Jeanne regained confidence and began openly defying the angels as more and more of them died, or she looked at his tactics and was like, “Yeah I’d also do it how you did tbh.” If Fortitudo is the angel she hates the least, that’s very interesting since he most likely killed her mom, the Umbran Elder. Or... is it BECAUSE he killed her mom, who forbade her association with the outcast, ruined her birthright, and allowed her sisters to be killed by leading the entire clan into a senseless war? The drama is surreal.

I don’t think Jeanne likes him, and Fortitudo doesn’t like Jeanne, but he wants Jeanne to like him, as some kind of ego challenge type thing.

I don’t think Fortitudo regards Cereza as an actual person with lasting effects on the world, because he was fully willing to blow up a church with her in it. Like I kind of get how putting the little girl in danger would compel Bayonetta to come protect her and maybe jog her memory, and exposing Cerezita to off-the-wall hardcore violence from a young age will make her future self more powerful, but the lesser angels had a better idea of doing it by fighting as they usually do with polearms. Blowing up a church with Cereza in it achieves neither of these things. 

Ironically because the angels manipulated humans into Witch Hunts, and were in turn influenced by the emotions of humanity, the angels could easily starve Bayonetta to death and let her be torn apart by her own contracted demons by never appearing where she is, but the “Witch Spotted... KILLLL!!!!!” instinct is too strong. They raised humans into a self-destructive witch-killing frenzy, and now the humans are raising them into a self-destructive witch-killing frenzy. Fair is fair.

I think Fortitudo is so disdainful of humanity partially because he knows he is a product of human thought and refuses to accept it, and partially because as a product of human thought, everything he does to humans is justified because they collectively wanted him to do it.

I think Fortitudo loves Super Mario 64 because one of the Angelic LPs had music from it and Mario is a red and blue icon just like him. Mario also has a tall green bro, a disgusting spherical cousin, and some lanky guy of ambiguous relation.

Rodin is like his divorced dad.

My pattern recognition thought process is quickly degenerating so that’s it for now.

[ocs-of-amulet]

The Squad

Oh boy. Get ready for a ride because this is long.

The gist of it: war ended, the Guardian Council wanted to unite the countries via enfocred cooperation, such as combined scientific expiditions, international healthcare, and mixed armies; this is one of their solutions, which is to combine the remnants of the Elf Army and the inexperienced Human Resistance. These characters are their descendants (although they're unaware that their ancestors were legit mortal enemies) 500 years later

Gigas - a colossal, friendly giant (he's seven feet). Looks scariest, is actually the most approachable and nicest man you'll meet. He loves his (human) wife and (hybrid) son (he talks about them all the time), and enjoys crochet, cooking, horticulture, literature, composing songs and sonnets, and plays. He likes giving advice, especially to young people (but he did kill a man once in a fit of rage because that man perpetuated the lynching of a good friend of his). He does have the tendency to give dramatic raw-ass prose lines on the go, which can be irritating depending on the person

Ian - looks like a bastard, is a bitch. He's a gay man and is bffs with Sandra. Very good with tech (serves as mission control of the squad) and sarcasms, he's very fucking sarcastic. The smartest and wittiest of the squad, he often antagonizes Theorn for his "lawful goodness" (think of Ian as a bard incarnate). He studied political science and civil engineering, he is also a good pilot (he honestly just studies whenever). He has a sibling named Mako and loves his nephew like his own son. God this man is actually funny if u only knew

Sandra - ok, she's pretty dim. Like, kinda dense, book dumb but street smart. Has the most siblings so pretty jovial. She serves as a speedster of the group, thus is the fastest and most agile. She lost her legs due to a mine, so she wears government-issued prosthetics. She is also pansexual and is very, sexually-active. She can probably list down the people she know that she hadn't gone down with much more easily than the ones she didn't. Letting her handle anything would lead to a disaster and considering that Ian is usually a chaotic being that has a moral standard of a bird, well, they do create mayhem in tandem

Theorn - a Redbeard. Dumbass with a sword. Ok, maybe not a dumbass but def excluded from mainstream stuff and thus ended up being rather, well, left out. Often gets snarky criticism from Ian on using a sword, a "primitive weapon" during the age of repulsor guns, which is ironic, because Ian uses knives. Tries to act as the sane and serious man of the group, but it's obvious that he reacts to all of their antics (the entire squad is bonkers, ngl) with sheer incredulousness. He IS the most responsible tho, and that counts (honestly, he uses the sword because it's cool). He is a former police officer and is bisexual

Lemlin - he's deaf, so he mostly uses sign language to communicate. He also doesn't talk much, but he's pretty much snarky himself. He's asexual, but he is searching for love. He's of mixed heritage, so he looks human if it weren't for his underdeveloped elf ears, slit eyes, and sharp teeth. Ended up being terrible mistreated because of this in public, so he has a hard time trusting and liking people. Lem is the youngest of the bunch (16, but they don't know that lest they be outraged at him being underage), he also has an half older brother who is a pure elf, that genuinely loves him and considers him family

Gabi - former assassin/bounty hunter that got drafted for her skills else she'll be jailed for life. Sarcastic and is also a bastard. Has serious daddy issues, and has hyperthemesia (which is hell because she remembers everything) thus has drinking issues to black out and not experience memories. Used to have serious issues cooperating with the squad as she usually does things on her own, but thankfully her ego deflated enough to lead them. She's the best soldier in the entire army, skill and strength-wise and thanks to her perfect memory, also has a brilliant mind. The only thing that holds her back is her personality, which is brash, arrogant, aloof, tough, and rude. She has a morbid sense of humour. She does have a girlfriend who is pretty much her opposite and thus loves her dearly, one of the few people she opens up to and care for