#character has so many little things they do like for example martha calling up the ppl she

[mwagneto]

a thing about rtd's era that i really really love seeing again is how he will usually wrap up the plot 10 or even 20 minutes before the episode ends and then the rest of that time is just dedicated to the characters talking to each other and dealing with their emotions and situations. like instead of a last minute win and a two minute goodbye they always get these massive spans of time to really get into everything emotionally and it always makes the episodes hit even harder

[gatheryepens]

Red, White & Royal Blue book review

Warning: small spoilers

“Thinking about history makes me wonder how I’ll fit into it one day, I guess. And you too. I kinda wish people still wrote like that. History, huh? Bet we could make some.”

First Son Alex Claremont-Diaz is the closest thing to a prince this side of the Atlantic. With his intrepid sister and the Veep’s genius granddaughter, they’re the White House Trio, a beautiful millennial marketing strategy for his mother, President Ellen Claremont. International socialite duties do have downsides—namely, when photos of a confrontation with his longtime nemesis Prince Henry at a royal wedding leak to the tabloids and threaten American/British relations. The plan for damage control: staging a fake friendship between the First Son and the Prince.

As President Claremont kicks off her re-election bid, Alex finds himself hurtling into a secret relationship with Henry that could derail the campaign and upend two nations. What is worth the sacrifice? How do you do all the good you can do? And, most importantly, how will history remember you?

Author: Casey McQuinston

Rating: 5/5 ✨

Funny story, I had actually planned on reading this book a lot earlier than intended. About a year ago, for my school newspaper I had actually planned to do a book review on a popular BookTok book. My plan was to do Red White & Royal Blue, however seconds after buying the book I immediately got a refund and email saying the book was out of stock - so I reviewed The Love Hypothesis instead. I am glad that a year later I decided to read the book but at the same time very sad that I didn’t discover it sooner - a true oxymoron! This book was excellent. The book starts off with Alex Claremont-Diaz attending the royal wedding between Prince Philip (Henry’s older sibling) and Princess Martha. During the wedding, Henry and Alex get into a little spat which leaves them ending up in the cake  on the floor. This creates a commotion, which results in several news outlets reporting the matter because of this some serious damage control is required resulting in a fast friendship that ends up being more.

What I really liked about the book is how long it took for the relationship to develop. Although the relationship started fairly fast, the build-up to it as well as what followed afterwards was executed well. Before Henry Kissed Alex, they had formed a nice camaraderie from the emails and the phone calls - I don’t know if I will ever get over the turkey prank. Even after the kiss, the relationship continued to develop with more emails and secret rendezvous. I think what was really beautiful were the individual characters growing and becoming more comfortable with one another. Henry first comes off as surly and standoffish, however we find out (along with Alex) that Henry is a funny person and has a big heart. I am a sucker for enemies to lovers/rivals to lovers and McQuinston did a fabulous job showing the stages  it took to go from rivals to lovers - which made it a good read. 

The writing style, in my opinion, was very simplistic. I don’t mean this in a bad way, I really liked how it was written - it was simple but engaging. This writing style made the book very nice, easy and enjoyable to keep on reading. I also liked the chapter to chapter length ratio, a lot of the times chapters can either be too few or too many or they can be very long or short. Obviously to find the perfect chapter number to chapter length ratio it depends entirely on the book, however McQuinston found the perfect balance. The chapters weren’t too long or too many. I loved the diversity of vocabulary that the author used. Whenever Henry said something really British I would chuckle for a while, a lot of the times anything Alex referred to I would have to look up for example LSAT. McQuinston did a really great job writing this book and showing the chemistry between Alex and Henry.

I really enjoyed reading from Alex’s perspective as I enjoyed going through the self discovery journey with him. Alex’s journey of discovering who he is and what he wants to be was really interesting to see. When we are younger, for some people it can be really hard to decide what you want to do in your future and to also not be swayed and pushed into a career path by other people like family. Alex first wants to go down the politics route (he wants to become a Senator), his main motivation is to help people and to do good in the world. Afterwards, he considers going into law after June convinces him to take the LSAT. Rediscovering yourself and changing your mind on something you're certain about is hard but it makes you a very brave person. One thing I admire a lot about Alex is how open he is to change and how throughout the book considers as well as explores different aspects of himself, whether it be deciding on a new career path or coming to terms and accepting his sexuality. Given that his mother is the President of the United States, approaching certain topics like sexuality or career paths would be challenging - as throughout the book there is a strong emphasis on all members of the family to be involved in the campaign and politics, so to divert/take a step back from politics would be surprising. There is also the issue of when he wants his mother to comfort and give advice as mother she probably lectures him as the President not as his mother and vice versa.

The only negative I have for the book is that I felt like the pacing was inconsistent. At the start, I felt that things happened really fast for example Alex and Henry’s relationship - I counted it from when they kissed. Then near the end it started to slow down a lot which is mainly due to the fact that both conflicts were resolved pretty quickly and  the only thing left to resolve was the politics. I do think that the book was heavy on the politics, which at times made it hard to read/understand - the amount of times I would reread or have to google certain phrases. Despite the amount of politics, I enjoyed having that side plot as when I read romances I really like when there are other things going on besides the romance as it helps us to understand the characters and their motivation a lot better. To conclude if you are interested in enemies to lovers and unlikely relationships, I would definitely recommend Red White & Royal Blue. It was a fun read and had loveable characters which made it an enjoyable experience.

my last review, it was a long time....

[writer-and-artist27]

Chaldean Master Vy (Character Profile)

Roughly inspired by @panyum​’s enthusiasm for my most recent artwork, it’s about time I divulge more on the Mastersona/main protagonist of Passing Days, Vy. Here we go.

Name: Vy

Age: 17-18 (beginning of Part 1), 19-20 (by Lostbelt 3)

Gender: Cis-female

Orientation: Asexual/Demisexual (questioning) and Demiromantic

Closest Servants: Mash Kyrielight (Level 80), Arturia Pendragon (Level 100), Achilles (Level 100), Marie Antoinette (Level 80), Robin Hood (Level 100), Archer EMIYA (Level 80), Diarmuid Ua Duibhne (Lancer - Level 70), Medea (Level 70), Chevalier D’eon (Level 80), Sieg (Level 80), Chiron (Level 80), Scathach-Skadi (Level 90), Sitonai (Level 90), Ereshkigal (Level 90), Ruler Martha (Level 80), Katsushika Hokusai (Level 90).

Notable Facts: 

In another place, Vy would have lost her life in a car crash and reincarnated into another world as a civilian pianist, but in FGO’s timeline, she was scouted by Chaldea before she could start her second quarter in college. Chaldea had noticed her family lineage having some kind of Mystic aspects through a blood test she had taken for a yearly checkup before donating blood to a local blood drive. It resulted in them reaching out to her for an “extracurricular volunteer opportunity” that no college student could refuse. Vy would accept, albeit with her parents encouraging her, not realizing it would later lead her to becoming the main Chaldean Master in the Grand Order. 

Vy went into Chaldea thinking she’d be a medical assistant from her resume stating her interest in science and medicine, only to find herself drafted into the Rayshift training that the FGO protagonist went through in canon as a result of her impressive stamina (thanks to biking miles around their home in America with her parents when growing up), tiring herself from all the shifting to the point of nearly dozing off in one of Chaldea’s hallways if not for Mash.

The “Mystic” part of Vy’s blood that drew Chaldea’s attention was something Vy’s parents nor grandparents were actually aware of, no thanks to how all grew up in poverty in Vietnam before coming to America and later, Japan, but it is actually from one of Vy’s ancestors coming in contact with a mage from the Mage’s Association. No one really knows what exactly happened between said ancestor and that mage, but it seems to explain Vy’s uncanny luck in getting some of the bigger names in the Throne of Heroes before confronting Goetia, including Arjuna, Minamoto no Raikou, and Achilles by the dawn of Camelot. Her luck has definitely made the Crypters scratch their heads, since Vy had used a nearly Fully Ascended Scathach-Skadi to take down Kadoc before having reached Scandinavia. 

Vy adores Mash a lot, both from how earnest Mash is and her eagerness to learn about everything of the outside world past Chaldea’s blizzards. Dr. Roman at one point commented that they looked like sisters, just once, and Vy latched onto Mash as a surrogate little sister since, being conscientious of Mash’s health whenever they Rayshift together. 

Since Vy’s family took her on a lot of cross-country road trips when growing up, including visiting national parks such as Yosemite and Zion to hike and sight-see, one of Vy’s goals when going into the Grand Order is making sure Mash gets to experience all nature has to offer one day like she did, wanting to introduce her to her parents when the fighting is all over. She has jokingly asked Dr. Roman and Da Vinci for adoption papers for her parents to sign for Mash.

When starting in Singularity F, Vy was initially scared of paving the way to Humanity’s salvation, but sucked it up once Mash saved her. At that moment, one of the thoughts running through her head was, “Mash is fighting so hard, so why can’t I?!” Since then, Vy has made quite the distinct image of herself when fighting with her Servants, being a no-nonsense leader who can and will sarcastically snark at anyone, including Kiara and BB of all people, when they are opposing her. To allies, she is both understanding and empathic, usually not asking any imposing questions and issuing orders only when emergencies call for it. 

Anyone who tries to “bed” her will spark a loud and angry reaction, since Vy is not interested in any sexual relations and instead is still loyal to her family and friends that were left to the dust by Goetia and later the Foreign God. Expect some cursing too. 

Vy’s romantic orientation is why Agartha is an untouched subject amongst all the Servants when bringing in new faces, because when Dahut in Drake’s body proposed rape to her outright during the Pseudo-Singularity, Vy’s reaction was basically, “I AM ACE, YOU JERK! SEX IS NOT FOR ME, CONSENT MATTERS, SO SHUT UP AND FIGHT ALREADY! IF NOT, I WILL KILL YOU WITH A RUSTY SPOON MYSELF, GODDAMMIT!” It’s another reason why Fergus and some of the other romantically inclined Servants such as Kiyohime and Elizabeth Bathory have kept their distance since, because Vy’s rage point back then was that unsettling. Robin Hood doesn’t bring up the subject of picking up girls in front of her anymore. D’Eon and Astolfo both have tried to keep Vy away from thinking about Dahut since.

The first Servants Vy ever summoned in the Grand Order was Lancer Diarmuid, Medea, and Chevalier d’Eon. The first 4-stars she ever summoned after them was Marie Antoinette and Archer EMIYA, so because of this and a lot of other things, all five Servants still find themselves in the occasional team because Vy grew that attached to them.

Her only Grailed Servants so far are Saber Arturia Pendragon, Rider Achilles, and Archer Robin Hood, both because they were there when fighting opponents such as the Lion King, Tiamat, and the Alter Egos in SERAPH, and how she loved all three of them for their legends even before coming to Chaldea. 

When Vy first got a Holy Grail, she tried to give it to Mash as thanks for Mash protecting her for so long, but because of Mash’s status as a designer baby and Demi-Servant, she wasn’t able to take it. Instead, Mash still finds herself at the front lines team Vy has for mixed enemy battles, since Vy can’t find it in her to leave Mash behind. 

Some of the Servants who have been with Vy longer find themselves getting a nickname for Vy to call out to just them, all because Vy sees them as part of her family and wants to be good to them. Robin Hood is a prominent example, where she calls him “big Robin” as a way to boost his confidence about being a Heroic Spirit, and in turn, he calls her “little sparrow.” Marie Antoinette is sometimes called “my Queen,” and some of the more younger Servants such as Illya and Miyu are called with the “-chan” honorific or “baby sis.” Mash never got a nickname simply because to Vy, “Mash is Mash, and I love your name.” There were many “awww”s. 

It’s because of how she affectionately considers a majority of her Servants family that a lot of them tone down their arguments and bad qualities in her presence, simply because she’s there. An example is how during Babylonia, Vy had answered at the Underworld’s gates, “Ereshkigal is more beautiful!” to Ishtar’s face, both because she had summoned Ereshkigal long before entering Babylonia and that she had known Eresh longer. Eresh, who hadn’t Rayshifted to the Singularity at the time, could be found later hiding her red face in her hands as Da Vinci laughed out loud. Dr. Roman meanwhile had looked like he had swallowed a lemon at the time because of how blatantly Vy had put down Ishtar, and Ishtar barely reacted. Vy’s only reasoning afterwards was, “I did not appreciate being made into a makeshift cushion in our first meeting, Ishtar, thank you very little.” 

There were a lot of times during Singularities where Vy, feeling bad for Dr. Roman being a butt-monkey of jokes, brought home a souvenir or two for the good doctor to take part in some of the better moments of the Grand Order. One such souvenir was a butter cake slice from Siduri in Babylonia, because he expressed wanting to eat it one night and she carefully preserved it with Mash to give it to him before confronting “Solomon” in the Temple of Time. It’s because of this that she dearly misses him, having found him as another surrogate father when he’d call her in for daily check-ups and talks over how Mash was doing.

When the Lostbelts happened, Vy started working a lot harder to raise her Servants and the morale of the rest of Chaldea’s staff, resulting in her gaining eyebags from losing sleep over too many Golden Apples and farming quests. Most of the Servants are all at Final Ascension and Max Level at the cost of this and QP, but it’s helped in making the Crypters lose some of their momentum. 

Hope this helps in giving some nice insight and lore!

[moonlightserenadeeznutz]

(New) Doctor Who hasn’t been good since S4.

(Please note: This post is really only for people who already agree with me, rather than people who disagree with me, because I don’t want to change anyone’s opinions, nor do I want to ruin DW for anyone. So if you disagree with me, you have no obligation to read any further, and I hope you have a nice day). ~ Okay, look...

First of all: I love Matt Smith. I think he was a fantastic Doctor. He was an absolute sweetheart, and a wonderful actor.

I also loved Clara Oswald as a companion. And all in all, I enjoyed post-s4 of NewWho, with a number of episodes that stood out to me (mainly written by Neil Gaiman... please can we make him a permanent author) and genuinely didn’t dislike it.

However, I really believe that the Steven Moffat era (s5 and onwards) and especially the Chris Chibnall era (s11 and onwards), couldn’t live up to the Russel T Davis era (s1-4).

For starters, I found the episodes post s4 really difficult to get invested into. I feel like the writers tried too hard to make it dramatic, and in turn simply made it complicated to follow along and frankly, a little boring. Too many characters had an unnecessary amount of importance placed on them, and too many episodes contained more than one plot point (again, as an attempt to make it dramatic, and therefore making it too complicated).

I also disliked the complete disregard for anything that happened pre-s5. I understand the timeline to an extent, for example, by the time the Doctor met Amy it had technically been about a hundred years since he’d last seen Rose give or take (though it had literally only been a few days since he’d last seen Donna and she wasn’t mentioned at all). This may just be my inability to really cope with major change, but then, a lot of people are like me, so disregarding everything just makes the show inaccessible to a number of people. I was screaming at the TV screen half the time wanting the Doctor to mention Rose, or Martha, or Donna, or Jack, but they hardly got a look in. Even in The Day of the Doctor, the appearance of “Rose” was frankly disappointing.

And this is just talking about s5 and onwards. I haven’t yet mentioned how good pre-s4 was. I’m not saying every episode was a masterpiece, but there were an incredible amount of well-thought out and interesting storylines. The entire Bad Wolf storyline and how it threaded through all four seasons even after Rose had gone was, and still is, my favourite thing ever. The Daleks and the Cybemen were actually threatening (as opposed to just nuisances like they were post-s5, which I suppose by that time they were, but it’s funny how some characters were described as the most dangerous and evil characters when tbh they really weren’t, but the Daleks and the Cybermen hardly ever were. I’d also like to point out that the Cybermen hadn’t actually been seen again by the Doctor since the battle at Canary Wharf (although I may be wrong on this, someone please correct me), and when Eleven did see them again, he acted more as if they were just an inconvenience, rather than the reason he lost one of his companions).

And don’t even get me started on the companions of pre-s5. Yes I love Clara, but that’s really about it. I never got invested in Amy, despite the show making her out to be god incarnated and the most important person in the Doctor’s life. I actually got more invested in Rory tbh. I’m not saying I didn’t like Amy, I just didn’t really see the big deal. Adding this to the fact that my favourite companions (all of which are in pre-s5) were never mentioned made me genuinely angry at Amy. It wasn’t her fault, but she had an air of smugness around her, as if she knew everything there is to know about the Doctor, but out of all of the companions she actually doesn’t know that much at all. She barely even knows that the Doctor can regenerate.

The companions in s1-4 were on a different level. Rose Tyler is my beloved, who absorbed the time vortex and became Bad Wolf. Martha Jones was the most badass motherf*cker who literally became a walking legend throughout the entire world as she travelled for a year on her own to defeat the Master- which she did, single f*cking handedly. Donna Noble was Catherine Tate. (And also she was the most hilarious, wonderful won’t-take-shit-from-a-spaceman icon who literally became a Time Lord. AND JACK MOTHERFUCKING HARKNESS THE GUY I LITERALLY NAMED MYSELF AFTER THE IMMORTAL OMNISEXUAL ALIEN JOHN FUCKING BARROWMAN LGBTQ+ ICON ALL THE WAY FROM 2005 CANNOT BE COMPARED IN LOVE WITH THE DOCTOR FLIRTS WITH EVERYONE SMOOTH SON OF A BITCH WITH A SMILE THAT CAN KILL EVEN MY LESBIAN ARSE.

Amy was just... sort of nothing? I don’t want to criticise too much because I know she’s the favourite companion of a lot of people, and I don’t want to ruin her for them. I don’t think she’s a bad companion. A lot of my anger towards her is more to do with me rather than to do with her. I just feel that she was placed on a pedestal and treated way more than her predecessors for no real reason.

She was “The girl who waited”. She was an eight year old who sat outiside for a night waiting for the Doctor. It’s sweet and all, but why is that literally her only personality trait?

There’s probably more I can add, but I’ve gone on long enough. And I must reiterate this is only personal opinion. I understand the title is a bit too blunt, one of those “if you don’t agree with me you’re an idiot” sort of posts, but it isn’t. This is just how I feel, and I encourage you to disagree with me, because I don’t want to ruin anything for anyone. Believe me, lots of things have been ruined for me by someone giving a negative opinion about it (though I’m not calling those people out or anything) because I’ve felt obliged to agree, or I’ve felt that my opinion is wrong. So I’m not trying to do that, I’m really just writing this for the people who already agree, rather than the people who disagree, because I’m not here to change anyone’s opinion.

Amy’s great. Matt Smith is fantastic. S5 and onwards has some enjoyable storylines. Neil Gaiman is a fantastic writer, so is Russel T Davis. Chris Chibnall isn’t but I think we can all agree with that. Martha is underrated as shit. Catherine Tate is queen of my life (I met her once, she gave up her seat for me on the Tube when I was a kid. Didn’t know who she was back then but my mother was very excited). Rose Tyler can marry me. Jack Harkness is the only reason I’m happy. And Clara is a sweetheart who needs constant protection.

Thank you for coming to be TEDTalk.

[atamascolily]

Unicorn Chronicles, Book 4: “The Last Hunt,” by Bruce Coville

The Last Hunt is even longer than Dark Whispers--the hardcover edition runs to a whopping 605 pages (not including a multi-page character list), so it's a great example of Sequel Creep. Scholastic never gave it a paperback run, so Coville ended up buying back the rights and re-releasing it as smaller volumes (bringing the series to seven in all) to balance it back out a little. But still. It's a lot.

Coville says in the acknowledgements:

If I hadn't been painfully aware so many people were waiting for this story, I might have given up at any number of points along the way.So thanks, dear fans, it's been a long journey, and I literally could not have done it without you.

1) Awwww. 2) #relatable.

The Last Hunt is divided into sections based on time: 'Blood Moon Night," 'Day One of the Invasion,' and so on. The entire book spans about six days in all (five days + the Blood Moon), although there are lots of flashbacks and the last chapter opens with a time skip of several weeks. Suffice to say, this is one hell of a week. Each section is also captioned with a quote--sometimes from one of the Unicorn Chronicles, sometimes from Sun Tzu's The Art of War, which is unexpectedly plot-relevant.

We left off with Beloved and her army of Hunters invading Luster by ripping a hole in the Axis Mundi, the World Tree, with the intent to kill all the unicorns. The unicorns, led by the newly crowned Amalia Flickerfoot, must decide what to do next.

What follows: so many subplots, an inevitable quest, dragons, humans gonna humans, baleful polymorphs, dramatic battles, and a literal deus ex machina.

WHAT HAPPENS:

Lightfoot is right by the Axis Mundi when the gate opens, so he watches in horror as the Hunters come through. He tries to escape to warn the Queen, only to be pursued. To escape, he runs through the Gate to Earth, which for some reason burns people the second time around if they don't wait long enough (for reasons that make zero sense to me). Lightfoot finds himself in Beloved's keep in the Himalayas, and finds Cara's mother Martha asleep and pulls her out of the Rainbow Prison.

Fortunately, Martha was able to make contact with Ian and company long enough to learn how to pull them out, so she does. Lightfoot is afraid to go through the gate because he doesn't want to get crisped, so they wait until Beloved sends her troops after him, and then sneak in behind them. It turns out Fallon created the unicorns and is basically a deity.

Beloved has adopted a bunch of orphans -- girls abandoned by their families--whose purpose is to be unicorn bait. We meet one of them, Feng Quan, who is a total badass and a Sun Tzu stan, who is horrified when she witnesses a unicorn being slaughtered and jumps ship. Feng Quan runs into Belle, who has been haunted by the Whisperer (who knows Belle wants to be Queen) and convinces the skeptical warrior to take her to Amalia Flickerfoot.

Meanwhile the Geomancer M'Gama has been captured by the delvers, and Rocky and his reunited cove search for his teacher, the wizard Namza, who is turned to stone and having a lot of flashbacks. They eventually join up and work to stabilize Luster, which is devastated by increasingly severe earthquakes as  Beloved's gate is destroying the Axis Mundi and thus the entire world.

The queen sends Cara on another quest, this time to beg the dragon Grammaug for aid. (IDK while Amalia doesn't try to get all seven dragons, but okay, fine, whatever.) This time, it's only Cara and Medafil, because everyone else is busy. Cara encourages her grandmother to "think like a human" to outwit Beloved, which Feng Quan seconds when she arrives.

Grammaug turns out to be a dragon who turned into a human (it's complicated) and came to Luster because she was basically allergic to the world that all the other dragons went to when Bellemore opened THEIR gate. I thought that her story dragged on a little long, but it does eventually turn out to be relevant, since we are introduced to Transformational Magic, which can be moved around from person to person. Watch this space.

Hunters are looking for Cara, using special "blood trackers" that cannot be fooled, because Beloved wants her for unspecified reasons. Thomas the Tinker is also on his own quest to pick something up at the Queen's behest. The centaurs are having drama of their own as well. Ian tries to track Cara and gets captured by the delvers and taken to the king, who sends him to Beloved.

Grammaug agrees to help, but they are intercepted by the hunters on their journey back and Cara encounters Elihu, the mysterious "friend" Fallon has been searching for, who transforms her into a unicorn in order to lure the hunters off the scent.

Amalia and Feng Quan come up with a plan and send Grammaug to deliver a message, lying to the dragon about the details to mislead Beloved. Grimmwold summons the Queen's Players as part of the plan. Cara runs into Fallon, who reveals that Elihu created Luster, and was banished from the gods' realm because of it, and Fallon came down with him. Grammaug persuades Firethroat to join the battle; Firethroat is very pro eating humans, and agrees. The Whisperer uses Martha Hunter's anger about her mother to try and turn her against the unicorns.

Everyone converges on the Axis Mundi before the battle. We learn that a deity called Allura was responsible for sending the story of the Whisperer from the Chronicles and giving it to the centaurs and she made the Squijum. Like Fallon, she is searching for Elihu. Cara reveals her true identity, and reunites with her mother, who rejects the Whisperer.

Fallon summons the Whisperer and fights it to the death (Fallon's doesn't take). The group pieces together that the Dimblethum is Elihu--he returned to his true form when he betrayed Luster by helping Beloved with the Gate, only to revert back when he used his magic on Cara--and they must bring him back since he's the only one who can save Luster.

The Queen's Players stage a performance and Thomas produces a cockatrice who starts turning Hunters to stone. The dragons shoot flames, and the unicorns attack. Rajiv frees Ian in the chaos. Moonheart dies in the charge. Beloved is perplexed by the Whisperer's absence, and the centaurs and delvers arrive to join the fight. The Hunters flee back to Earth. The Axis Mundi splits in half and the dragons try to hold it together temporarily.

Cara attacks the delver king, who is trying to murder the Dimblethum, and the delver king falls into a conveniently opened hole in the ground and is swallowed up forever. Fallon uses transformational magic to swap places with Elihu so that Elihu can fix the tree. Elihu can't hold it alone, so Allura helps and both are swallowed up by the repaired tree. Graumag dies.

Beloved, believing Cara to be dead, takes Martha hostage and taunts Team Good. Cara reveals herself and Beloved begs for death. Cara tries to heal her and fails and Beloved dies.

Rajiv joins the Queen's Players. Cara is still a unicorn and no one can turn her back, but everyone's okay with it? The surviving Hunters are put to sleep and woken one by one and given the choice of staying in Luster or returning to earth; Feng Quan and Belle work with the maidens. The new Dimblethum and the Squijum visit the Axis Mundi every night to mourn their fellows and M'Gama and Namza are still in comas and we never learn their ultimate fate. Firethroat is in mourning and refuses to talk to anyone.

HOW I FEEL ABOUT IT:

"meh". So much happens and it's extremely epic, but I only care about half the characters, and the rest is just tedious. The whole deus ex machina thing could have been interesting, but wasn't--I could deal with ONE god running around but three was pushing it. The Dimblethum being Elihu was fine, but Fallon and Allura on top of that was too much. I would have preferred Grimmwold stepping in with a legend that allowed them to piece the answers together or something--not this.

It was hard to tease out what was relevant and what was a red herring (Felicity in the Rainbow prison, the Blind Man, etc). Lots of new characters, but I felt like the old characters were already underused - I wanted to see much more of Thomas and Grimmwold, for instance. Feng Quan, however, is absolutely awesome and I love her.  She and Belle are perfect together.

Cara ends up staying a unicorn was something I definitely did not see that one coming. Which makes Cara/Lightfoot the strongly implied endgame ship, which is just NOT WHAT I WAS EXPECTING WHEN I STARTED THIS SERIES, THAT'S ALL. They barely have any time together at all in this, even at the end, which makes me sad. Likewise, all that Lightfoot/Belle stuff never gets addressed.

IDK why Jaques keeps giving speeches about how he doesn't care if he and Cara are related by blood - they seem to be more for Cara's benefit than any character development/change.

Lightfoot's first glimpse of Earth (which he has never seen before) is incredibly poignant. So is his wandering around the deserted castle and struggling without hands. I wish he and Cara were able to discuss this, but NOPE, there is no time for discussion in this entire book, sigh.

The whole business about only going through the portal once in a given time period makes zero sense to me, especially given the established worldbuilding. It feels so contrived. Likewise, Belle and Martha are tempted by the Whisperer, which doesn't really go anywhere for either of them?

I don't know why Elihu smashes the amulet to transform Cara if there's this whole transformational magic thing going on. I still don't really get how that works.

I am also annoyed that Fallon deals with the Whisperer instead of the unicorns. So much for the unicorns "embracing their own darkness" and coming to terms with the fact that they screwed up in their ambition to be perfect.  What a wasted opportunity.

Also, it's book four, and we're only NOW finding out there's a prophecy that a scion of the hunters and the unicorns is the only one who can destroy Beloved?? Seems like we needed that earlier. We knew Beloved wanted Cara, we just didn't know WHY until the last possible minute. [Also, who told her that and why??] Without the Whisperer, Beloved is pretty helpless, which annoys me--I wanted her to be a villain in her own right.

Coville is very clear that Beloved tortures Ian, but like, only emotionally, because this is a kid's book, and that Elihu and Fallon are Definitely Not Gay For Each Other, which annoys me. (Coville is generally sympathetic towards queer folks; I really enjoyed his short story "Am I Blue?" which is about a literal fairy godparent and a working gaydar, so this was disappointing.)

The whole subplot with the Blind Man borrowing Ian's eyesight goes absolutely nowhere. I thought the Blind Man was going to play into the Luster drama somehow, but no, he's just some random magician who uses his deal with Ian to blind him at inopportune moments for reasons of his own that are never explained. WTF. This is one reason I hate Ian's subplot so much!!

Likewise, Martha seems cool, but her genuine beef with Ian, Beloved, and Ivy/Arabella get smoothed over and ignored because there's just zero time for anything in the midst of the chaos. Which is too bad!

The fact that the Squijum is the personal favorite creation/messenger of a god is just hilarious to me. Doesn't mean he isn't annoying af, though.

I WANTED ALL SEVEN DRAGONS AHHH.(though apparently there’s a secret eighth dragon no one talks about??WHAT???)

I think I'd be more okay with it if there was more time at the end to see the characters react and reflect--there's only one chapter, and it's not nearly enough. Is Lightfoot still Prince or is the Cara the heir now that she's a unicorn? How do THEY feel about that? That's another subplot from the previous books that just didn't go anywhere, and it bugs me.

(I was convinced Beloved was going to wake Martin Hunter from his sleep and have him lead the attack--like a reverse King Arthur--and I'm SO MAD THAT DIDN'T ACTUALLY HAPPEN...)

Also the fact that Cara has to mercy kill someone at the climax of not one but TWO BOOKS in this series... damn. I’d like to see some more reflection and thought about this after the fact.

Also, the whole thing with the delver-unicorn connection -- what kind of relationship are the two species going to have moving forward? RADIO SILENCE. What the hell did the other dragons think was happening during all this and why didn't they help/investigate? Are the Hunters going to stage a counterattack or disband now that they've lost their leader? Are the unicorns going to return to Earth or will it continue to be just the Guardian of Memory?? There are so many things that are just left hanging, and while MAYBE Coville will write another book to address these issues (it's happened before!) I am grumpy because I WANT TO KNOW, DAMN IT.

I had hoped on re-read I'd feel better about this, but I don't. I get to the end and I think "why?" which is not a great feeling to have. IDK what exactly I expected from this series--it definitely delivers in some ways, and in others, it totally falls short. I’m still impressed Coville managed to finish and it’s not entirely his fault that the results didn’t match up with my expectations, but it’s still sad that older!Me isn’t more excited about the end results.

*sigh* Maybe older!Me will buckle down and write a fix-it fic or two to make younger!Me happy. Currently, the only Unicorn Chronicles fic on A03 is a complicated crossover between LOTR and various other media featuring a human!Lightfoot, which I probably will never read, but it makes me happy to know it exists. FFN has more stories, but this was never a popular fandom, so the field is wide open for anything I want to do with it (more so than usual). Also, it seems I wasn't the only person of a certain age imagining self-insert fic in this universe, which is oddly reassuring.

[yanderecandystore]

"You mean any Yandere Villains, or my current ocs being villains?" I-I like both, I kinda wanna see a villain eldritch o//o - cold anon

Hey Cold! Well- I won't lie, I'm too dumb for your request lol- I hope you liked what I did (cause I think I got your request a little wrong 👉👈) also:

My internet has been shit lately, so yeah ;-; sorry for the wait

TW/Tags: I used the same character that used on Snow Globe btw, I thought that I should clarify that so no one gets confused // playing God // my internet was shit all day!! // Delusional thinking and disregard for human lives

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

Play time [Yandere!Eldritch OC x Reader - Headcanon]:

This time I think I would like to focus on Azir, The Winged One since he does send a lot of evil thot energy, especially since one of his favorite pastimes is to closely watch the drama happening in his human captivities.

Watching day by day their lives unfold is pretty entertaining but it can get boring so quickly, so you can imagine how he enjoys changing the course of some of those lives. Sometimes he likes to keep the perfect balance that was so carefully designed to keep you all in your places, maybe just interfering with a couple of mundane situations here and there, like for example:

Oh, Martha wants to call Carol out for a date, huh? But she is too insecure to do it on her own? Well, he could help things get a little more interesting, like creating an awkward and convenient situation that would lead to her confessing her feelings, you know the usual cliches, after all who doesn't enjoy a good romance story every now and then.

Maybe even starting drama, making people fight over stupid things for no reason other than "why not?". All of these events he could easily take care off from afar, never directly facing those he submits to play the role as his entertainment.

But eventually, keeping a stable perfect happy place starts to get you bored, at least in his mind it is only natural for him to want to shake things up a bit. Who cares about social drama when he can start a devastating earthquake any time that he wants? And besides, it's only when humans are faced with a challenge that their colors really come out.

And because there is no interference from any of the other hellish creatures he considers to be friends with, he basically has the situation in his full control. He essentially already won this game, and the price is pure, raw entertainment forever.

But, ya know, the idea of playing a role in his carefully created theater is…. It sounds pretty interesting, fun even! Can you imagine? He could totally see for the first time what it feels like to interpret one of your kind.

Of course, he thought you would be one of the simple minded people that would simply believe his every word, but it seems like he had underestimated you and humanity entirely.

Were you one of the smartasses that would catch a glimpse of him in the sky? He is pretty sure that it should be impossible for anyone to see him, but maybe he made some mistakes while creating this cage for your entire town, or maybe you were just another pesky smart little thing. But what can he do in this situation?

I mean, it would be out of character if he suddenly decided to eradicate your existence right here and now, he needs to at least act like an innocent human while he is down here. And besides, having someone to anger it's just so fun!

This is even better than he originally planned, having someone be so determined to prove that he is someone not only dangerous but also inhuman is pretty entertaining. People don't seem to believe you at all, despite the plenty of proof of your struggles against him.

I mean, he isn't even hiding anymore, after some weeks of creating a bit of chaos here and there while you try to play the role as a hero, he started to understand what type of character he is playing as.

Why, if you're a hero then clearly he is the villain! Or maybe he is the true hero, and you're just someone whose intentions got in his way, it's all about perspective dearest.

His favorite part about this whole thing is how he feeds you hope of finally being able to stop him, but simultaneously taking that same hope away before you get too close to the truth", leaving you in an endless and confusing cycle.

But you seem pretty determined to get to the truth, to know what it's truly happening in your town, and who is this "hellish creature tormenting you". You're almost there, don't worry about it.

Azir never thought that a game of cat and mouse would be so fun, but of course it comes with some setbacks. You're only human after all, so your search to stop his control over your little town can be pretty dangerous, but I don't think you need to worry much.

He has gotten himself pretty attached to you, so it doesn't matter how many times you fall and "break", he can fix you up so that you'll continue playing his game. And of course, if you ever stopped caring for the game, well-

He probably wouldn't be able to deal with that, especially since you're a core piece to this theater. There is no play if there is no character, and there is no fun if you simply give up!

But that 's okay! Everything it's okay, he can fix that too, you'll see.

You'll see how much you actually enjoy this game, just as much as him.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

[just-being-leonest]

Murder Family Cons

A.k.a, things I disliked about it. Pros are here. Friendly reminder that this is just my opinion, thank you!

Now here are the things I will address under the cut: -Comedy -Art -Character Development -Lore/Writing

Comedy

I will admit, it is very easy to make me laugh, I’m easy to entertain. Although I did find some jokes in this episode to be funny, a good half, maybe more, fell flat. For example: The children all fainting, Moxxie’s mob boss joke, the Stolas button (which I will go more into detail with under Character Development), and Blitzø’s doggy treat joke. Now I’m no expert on comedy, but I’ve been (forced) to watch many, many shitty comedies with no replay value. From what I’ve seen, to truly make a joke land is it’s timing and relevance to either the character’s personality and/or plot. These jokes offer nothing, there’s no set-up (like with Moxxie’s mob boss joke/impression hehe imp), not relevant to the plot or character’s personality, or just bad. I’d say the main joke-killer in this episode was the severe lack of set-up. Jokes coming out of nowhere can be funny, I personally found Ms. Mayberry throwing the girl into ceiling funny because it was out of nowhere, but that is very hard to pull off and just using the same formula is very tiresome and repetitive. 

Good comedy tends to have a lot of different types of humor, like Rise of Teenage Mutant Turtles (rottmnt is my latest hyperfixation sue me) has a variety of humor like slap-stick, one-liners and puns, and visual gags, all of which have proper set-up and relevance to either the plot or the characters. Granted rottmnt and Helluva are very different, and rottmnt is not in any way perfect but it does execute comedy that is funny to not only it’s target audience (9-12 year old boys) but to many adults/teens as well, something that Helluva struggled to do even with it’s target audience.

Art

I personally liked the art on Helluva so no comment.

Character Development

Strap in your seat belts, this is gonna be a long one and it’s mostly about Stolas.

Stolas is... not the best character in this. For one example, on a list of buttons that Blitzø is implied to have as “panic buttons” has Stolas on one of them. That implies that Blitzø panics or is severely uncomfortable when Stolas is in the room, which is not a good thing to have, if your end goal is to have them get together. 

And then his phone call with Blitzø oh good lord... it was very sexually charged, unnecessarily so, especially since Blitzø was being very clear on how unwanted the sexual undertones were. He repeatedly said “now is not the time” or something very similar, which Stolas completely ignored. All that is telling me is either Stolas sucks at picking up hints (which I highly doubt and would make no sense with his character arch) or he just doesn’t give two fucks. I’m more inclined to the latter, considering he was still talking when Moxxie ran by, telling me that he didn’t care if Blitzø was listening. Honestly, Stolas in general makes me uncomfortable with his sexually charged comments, and I’m someone who’s used to this shit both from movies and irl from my dad. 

Lore/Writing

So... the human world, huh? Genuine question, is it purposefully portrayed as this shitty for lore/plot or is it for the sake of comedy (which falls flat). If it’s comedy then... not a really good joke, it’s a very overused trope that I’m tired of seeing. Same thing regarding if it’s just for plot/lore, it’s very overused and depressing.

The voice acting was... kinda meh, especially for Martha’s husband but that’s just me being nitpicky so take it with a grain of salt if you want.

One thing that has bugged me for a little while is how Ms. Mayberry knew Martha survived and got famous. Didn’t she commit suicide? If so, how did she figure it out? And why did the police explode the house? Did Moxxie inform them about the stuff going on? But that would warrant investigation, not immediate explosion. And there are kids in that house. I get that cops can be, will be, and are shitty, but they still have laws and rules to follow and just straight up bombing a house is not allowed in any situation, not with the children there and how little information and proof there was.

Also the atmosphere of Moxxie discovering how vicious and evil the family was very jarring, and I really can’t tell if that was the intent or not :/

The ending... was horrible. Everyone ignored Moxxie’s feelings and it just felt so fake. To be fair, I hate endings where everyone laughs and laughs. Unless you’re MLP, that shit usually just makes me wince from the fakeness.

Also why the sex scenes? It could just me being ace but having Martha being fucked while being called a hero was... not necessary at all.

Overall, I’d give the episode a 6, maybe 7 out of ten. It wasn’t the best, but it wasn’t the worst. It’s a good start to the series.

[idiottweets]

BFI Q&A

Here are the questions and answers in writing, slightly spoilery but not very

0:50 Where's Simon?

Simon is in Hollywood doing pre-production on a movie.

2:00 is the name Them, There an established thing?

Jim says they've never really tried to find a name for themselves, Larry says it's tricky to find a nickname, their working together was very natural and they never sat down and said "this is who we are, this is what we're called". They think it's a good idea to have a name but maybe a bit too late for it.

3:25 when did you realize the show was a hit?

Mat says he doesn't really feel like it's ever concrete because numbers are abstract, with HH they got a sense of how big the audience was when they did the BBC Proms, it's always wonderful to meet the fans and see how passionate they are

4:20 the BBC giving you series 2 and 3 so quickly must show they are confident in the show

Larry says they've been supportive from the start, Mat mentions that the slot they're in is notorious for killing shows

5:40 you've managed to include things that are sort of frightening but also some of the jokes could go over the younger audiences heads, for example the name "Fanny Button"

Martha says they need to make sure after writing they don't have too many Fanny references, Larry adds that those happen naturally

7:30 did knowing how well the show has been received give you a confidence boost and help work out what worked and what didn't?

Jim answers a succesful first series you have a certain "swagger", last time he was more nervous about what people thought, Mat adds that it is easier to change things up when people know the characters

10:00 can you give us some insight into the writing process?

Ben says they storyline together, they spend a lot of time on it, and then you go off and write

11:30 do you each bring your scripts to the table and then go through it? Can you be honest with each other?

Mat replies 100%, the quality of the show is more important than ego and that they can ask each other for help, Ben adds that it's an amazing thing to have and that there's no right or wrong

14:10 you must all have a sense of ownership over your characters, when you see a script do you ever think "my character wouldn't say that"?

Ben says they can tell each other those things, Larry adds because there's so many characters sometimes it gets difficult to write lines that sound like the character but nobody minds being corrected, Mat says it's fun to see how other people write your character and how different it can be from how you would've written it (Mat also says that Simon gets naked a lot for someone who doesn't like it)

16:00 when you're shooting is the script finished in a way that it can't be changed anymore?

Yes, but not as much as people believe, in pre-production everything has to locked in place but if there's a funny line you come up with that might work you can introduce that, Mat says sometimes they have scenes where they know beforehand that they'll do some alternative takes

18:00 are Jim and Mat the ones who corpse (create bloopers) most often?

Jim says he makes people corpse and enjoys it, and that they know what makes the others laugh the most

19:00 do the other four actors have to be careful working around you?

(They all laugh) Larry says they all want to be as welcoming as possible

20:20 do you make sure the lines are evenly given out?

They just make fun of Simon here

21:10 how was filming with Covid just starting in the UK?

They closed down on the penultimate day kf shooting, they were very lucky that they managed to finish, Mat talks about how for them it wasn't too bad to go into lockdown because they knew they were writing but the crew didn't know when they would work again, it was very heavy goodbye because they feel like a family on set

24:00 are you factoring in what you can and cannot shoot for Series 3 (with current guidelines) or are you going on as normal?

A little bit of both, they've not been writing crowd scenes and keeping production in mind, they're trying to keep the show as imaginative as before

Fan questions:

26:00 whose idea was it to do a show about ghosts?

Mat says him, Larry says they talked about multiple ideas but ghosts was the one the kept coming back to

26:13 have you experienced ghosts on set?

Not them but someone in make-up did

26:35 what's your favourite episode this series?

Larry says ep 3, Martha and Jim like ep 6, Jim also likes ep 4

27:15 if you were a ghost which famous person would you haunt?

Larry would haunt Simon (in a pervy way)

27:35 if you could bring one HH character into this show as a ghost who would it be?

Ben says Henry VIII, Jim says Churchill

27:50 kiss marry kill, Julian, The Captain, Pat

Marry Pat

28:00 how much of the show is improvised?

Very little

28:25 will the Captain's sexuality be explored more?

Yes

28:40 how do you film ghosts walking through people?

You have to shoot seperate elements on greenscreen and then layer them

29:10 have you read any of the fanfiction?

No, but they're aware of NSFW fanfiction and stay away from it, Larry says it tended to be about Mat and Ben

29:50 would you ever do a musical episode?

They're talking about it

30:10 most embarrassing or funny moment on set?

Some Julian moments caused serious delays

31:10 do any of you take longer in make-up than others?

Larry takes the longest

31:30 has knowing you're getting a series 3 affected the storylines of series 2?

There's little things in series 2 that they'll explore further in the next one, and also explore more deaths and backstories that wouldn't make sense yet

33:20 is the Christmas special filmed?

Yes and it's a beautiful episode

[omegangrins]

Chibnall, Children, Choice and Consequence

Allow me to introduce a companion piece to A Treatise on the Doctor:

It's pretty simple:

Chibnall knows what he's doing and is playing a long game to show how the Doctor needs to take more responsibility.

Let me start off with my favorite examples. That's right, plural.

Every single villain 13 faces is never defeated, merely pushed away from causing them any immediate problems. Tim Shaw being the prime example.

1&10. Seriously, Tim Shaw. Her plan was to use his own bombs on him and then teleport him off the planet. Even without Ranskoor Av Kolos, the Doctor should have thought to check in on him. Especially after The Ghost Monument showed the Stenza were a greater threat than she knew. She still hasn't even checked up on WHAT THE HELL THE STENZA ARE! They sound worse than Daleks but naw, let's go rain-bathing in the upper tropics of Canstano instead.

2. Ghost Monument. We saw the END of an interuniversal race. What the fuck is the beginning that got them there? Who is Illyn and how and why did he orchestrate a super race?

3. Krasko. Sent back in time. Really, Doc? Not gonna take a look at the device and see where Ryan sent the prick so you can double check that he's not gonna cause anymore damage?

4. President Trump analog. Ooooo, you looked at him menacingly, Doc, that'll show him!! Not like he's gonna KEEP DOING ILLEGAL SHIT LIKE THIS.

5. The Pting. She literally shunted it off ship to be dealt with by someone else BUT DOESN'T GO BACK TO BE THAT SOMEONE ELSE ONCE SHE HAS HER TARDIS. That's like leaving a living nuke floating around after sweeping it under the rug while you fly off to Paris.

6. The Pakistani-Indian conflict still happens and millions still die. Not her fault but still....

7. Kerblam. Sure, Charlie's terrorism was solved but not the underlying problem that led to it. Humans still can't work because corporations like profits over people.

8. Similar to the Punjab, how you gonna solve sexism, classism and all the -isms?

9. WHY WAS THE SOLITRACT THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE??!! It's been around since before the universe. Why'd it decide to come back now? It's a whole universe trying to hug our universe to death. Maaaaaaybe we should check out why.

11. She's gets a pass on the Dalek. Fucking impossible to eradicate them.

12. The Master!!! Finally she checks up on something after the adventures... and it's horrible. With everything gone to shit in her absence. Seeing a pattern yet?

And Barton? And the Cassaven? They didn't disappear into smoke.

13. Multiple Earths being multiply fucked. Remember when I said the Doctor couldn't solve racism, classism, sexism, or any of the other -isms? Starting to look like she needs to TRY.

14. The Skithra FLY OFF after getting hit by a laser beam. That kind of thing tends to piss people off. Even if they're idiots using other's technology.

15. Jack. The Judoon. The Ruth Doctor. All things I'd start checking out if I had a time machine BUT

16. WE CAN'T cause the TARDIS emergency alert is going off and we need to hurry up and run and solve this problem before we run out of time in our TIME AND SPACE MACHINE. Leading to another problem the Doctor could help solve but won't. Plastic and over-consumption.

17. Oh yeah, let's trap two Eternals from another universe in the same place. There's NO WAY that could ever turn out bad.

18,19,20. And again. Cyberium. Pushed off Shelley onto herself and onto Ashad and onto The Master.

That's almost 20 "enemies" the Doctor still needs to deal with.

Oh, not to mention that they let UNIT go defunct because they didn't have the forethought to ask if they needed any money in their alien fighting budget. After asking for an office, a desk, and a job. Kinda funny that way, aren't they?

I hope by now you've gotten the idea that this is VERY deliberate. This is Chibnall laying down some very heavy pipe to smack the Doctor like a clothesline. There isn't a one of these situations that can't come around to bite her in the ass.

Barton, Roberts, Skithra. These are all very loose strands for a time traveller like the Doctor to get tripped up on. Chibnall's past episodes prove it. They're all about the Doctor learning how to take responsibility.

42: The Doctor almost gets Martha killed and almost gets himself killed trying to fix it.

The Hungry Earth: The Doctor (a thousand year old "adult") tells Elliot (a 10 year old kid) that "Sure it's totally fine to go get your headphones while we prepare for an approaching unknown alien force." And 11 rightfully gets his ass chewed for it by the child's mother when the kid goes missing because OF COURSE THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS, JACKASS!

Cold Blood: I could write an entire essay about the Doctor's guilt over the Silurian/Human conflicts they've witnessed, but I don't need to. Because every single Silurian centered episode written in the new era is from Chris Chibnall. And you can feel the sad knowledge of Classic Who spill through. He KNOWS how many times the Doctor has fucked up with the Silurians (about 8 times in television format. And it's rough everytime. Rough.) and he writes those episodes like an apology on behalf of the whole human race. And the Doctor. You know why people are put off by Warriors of the Deep? 5 releases a gas that melts the Silurians. And though it's cheesy, the idea and execution is still horrible.

Add to that if the Doctor hadn't stopped to check the crack, then Rory wouldn't have waited and been around to be shot then absorbed by the time crack.

Power of Three: An entire episode about how the Doctor has a problem slowing down and really taking account of the lives of their companions.

Dinosaurs on a Spaceship: The Doctor actually tries to be responsible and pick the right people for a job. For once. But gets angry when they realize it's too late and there's another bunch of Silurians they failed to save. Classic!

Like I said, if you can't see the pattern, you're not paying enough attention to your responsibilites.

Which leads me to the why.

When you fly around time and space for thousands of years, you develop a few duties of care along the way. In every situation, you're the oldest. Technically the only adult in terms of experience. You have a responsibility to act a little less rude and be a bit more aware than needing cue cards to tell you that you should be sad about things around you. And that's the purpose of 13. She's unlucky but learning. Like 12 telling himself something with his face he couldn't say out loud, 13's instincts are leading her to a new place for the Doctor: being a caring, responsible person. Not so much laughing hard or running fast, but being kind. It's the one thing they recognized as a problem in themselves when seeing 1. Being a Doctor is about being kinder than that. Just because you HAVE to saw someone's leg off, that doesn't mean you can't wait a little and comfort them before you do it.

You wanna know what gave me every faith in Chibnall showrunning Doctor Who? 13 staying for Grace's funeral.

Do you understand how unprecedented that is? This is the same person who never said Goodbye to Jo Grant as she got married and fucked off into the night. The same Doctor who said, "I don't do domestic.", did it with Rose a regeneration later, and then closed himself off to everyone but a married couple he felt guilty about who ended up birthing his wife. Have you any idea the number of funerals the Doctor should have the common decency to sit through? This many.

So for 13 to stay around for the death of a woman she has only just met and not only that, BUT call out Ryan's father for not doing the same, it shows tremendous character growth. It's taken millennia but they're still changing.

Something similar happens with Rosa and The Witchfinders. Realizing that there a lot of companions who have been in situations that are sometimes worse than aliens, but they still manage to make it through. So she needs to buck it up and persevere for everyone else.

That's where her anger comes from, and really it's one of my favorite traits on her. It reminds me of 7. Someone impossibly old and impossibly kind saying to hell with it and at least having some fun with the evils who drag us through the universe. And just like Cartmel planned for 7, 13's past will come to haunt her.

That's where children come in. Most of us are crying babies to the Doctor.

There's this thing you notice most in British shows about answering the question directly as asked. Someone says "Are you sure?", you answer "Sure". That's a direct acknowledgement that you heard the question, understood it, and processed it enough to respond in a manner directly correlating to the question asked. Yas and Graham got it and said "Sure" but Ryan missed it and said "Deffo". This is like Elliot with the headphones. The Doctor should have immediately been like, "Okay, Ryan, it's obvious that you're still dealing with the trauma of your grandmother's death and probably not processing things on a logical level. I said "Are you sure?" Not "Are you deffo?" Because we are most definitely not deffo, Ryan. Graham, you wanna help here?"

I'm being sarcastic for points sake but you understand the idea. The Doctor knows better and has a responsibility as such. She should've really sat down with Ryan and Graham and seen if there was a better way to process their grief.

Because I'm fairly certain that "Deffo" is gonna lead to Ryan's death and Graham's cancer resurging as time cancer (I don't know what time cancer is. I just know it's bad.)

And that is gonna piss Yas off. Which will give you all that character you think she's missing (she isn't. Her character is in her subtleties and silences.). That's WHY her character is a police officer (like how does no else see that the man who wrote Broadchurch wrote an inspector character companion?) Imagine you're Yaz and you see the Doctor flying around in a big, magic box that says POLICE. As a fellow officer, you're gonna expect some basic safety protocols.

Like do a background check on everyone flying in the TARDIS to know whether they're stable enough (mentally, physically, emotionally) for time and space travel. It's no picnic. These people are going to go through hell. A little vetting and planning like Time Heist or Dinosaurs on a Spaceship goes a long way.

Secondly, full fucking disclosure.

"Oh. I can't die because I change my body. Oh. I have arch enemies that will try to kill and torture us any chance they get. Oh. My home planet is full of the biggest assholes in the universe and I'm including my arch enemies."

Third, police like to do this thing called "check-ups" where they go back to the scene of the crime in order to see if there is any more information that can be gleaned which you might not notice when you are busy running around trying not to be killed... Like, the Doctor has the perfect machine to do this with, but nope. Adventure done, run to the next place!!

These are all things you'd expect any reasonable person to do and say when taking others flying off into time and space and "helping". Even if they are an idiot passing through and learning. Especially when you consider the Doctor is vastly older and more experienced than everyone they encounter. They SHOULD know better. And they've got the lifespan to slow down. It's not like they need to be in a hurry because they're going to die at any moment like humans. The Doctor could easily stay for tea and it would be less than a drop in their lifespan.

Now, as usually is the case when I make these theories, I have a parts 1,2,3,4 and 6. There's allways this 5th piece I miss but I manage to get at the end.

But the 6th piece is the Timeless Child. The Doctor isn't a Time Lord anymore. They're not beholden to those people and ideas anymore. Even moreso, those people basically raped her childhood for their own gain so it's not like you'd really listen to them and their "policy of non-intervention".

I'm sensing a coming Trial of a Time Lord season (even believing these two seasons are the opening statement and preliminary evidence of the trial itself) wherein the Doctor finally gets the turnaround 6 deserved. A Trial of the Time Lords, if you will.

"In all my travels through time and space I have battled against evil, against power-mad conspirators. I should have stayed here! The oldest civilization: decadent, degenerate and rotten to the core! Power mad conspirators? Daleks, Sontarans, Cybermen — they're still in the nursery compared to us! Ten million years of absolute power: that's what it takes to be really corrupt!"

This is what it's all coming down to. Chibnall's takedown of the Time Lords. And The Master is going to play the most crucial role of all.

They're going to be revealed as an Ux alongside the Doctor and show how the only constants they have in this universe are each other and it's about damn time they work together and tell these high collars to eat Schitt while they explore every star and planet they can find.

Come on, the episode is called The Timeless "Children". If it was just the Doctor it'd be called "The Timeless Child". The Master says as much with the misdirect line, "built on the lie of the Timeless Child." since we see two kids playing in that flashback.

"Since always. Since the Cloister Wars, since the night he stole the moon and the president's wife, since he was a little girl. One of those was a lie, can you guess which one?"

Now we know which one was a lie, we know the Master HAS known the Doctor since they were a little girl. THAT little girl...

But this is all just speculation. It's not like Chris Chibnall could have been thinking about this for the past 40 years and was given a blank slate to do whatever he wanted for five years on his favorite TV show. If y'all want to think he took those reigns and is choosing to make things worse...

Well then you don't know much about responsibility.

I'll let the man himself tell you about it.

"Very early in my career,” says Chibnall, “someone told me that you learn more from a failure than you do from a success. And then I lived out that phrase for a year in Los Angeles. I learned that I would not work that way again or be put in that situation again.” The essential lesson was: “You either have to be in total control of a show or working with people who share your vision and will work with you to achieve it. Also, never work with 13 executive producers.

“Camelot was the classic case of too many cooks. It wasn’t a harmonious set-up and I think that does manifest itself on screen.

“I had a fantastic cast but you have to be free to tell the story you want to tell in the way that you want to tell it. What ended up on screen was not what I wanted and so it is a blemish on my CV.”

Credit to @thirteenthdoc

“You immortals - so entitled, so spoiled. You never clear up after yourselves and you always leave stuff lying around.” - Thirteenth Doctor in Can You Hear Me?

[vanessakirbyfans]

Ignore the cringeworthy title, which brings to mind several lives’ worth of Lifetime movies — Pieces of a Woman, a portrait of personal disintegration and the from-the-ashes process of piecing things back together, gives you three distinct reasons to pay attention to this late-breaking entry in the seasonal Pretty People in Pain sweepstakes. (It hit theaters on December 30th for a qualifying run; it starts streaming on Netflix on January 7th.) The first is The Shot, a set piece that kickstarts the drama in motion. We’ve already briefly met Martha (Vanessa Kirby), an expectant mother days away from her due date. And we’ve been introduced to her partner Sean (Shia LaBeouf), a construction worker who’s building a bridge in Boston. She is warm, witty, nurturing; he is rough-hewn, earthy and, per his own description, boorish (“now there’s a Scrabble word,” he adds). Martha’s middle-class family, especially her brittle and controlling mother (Ellen Burstyn), doesn’t much care for this blue-collar dude, but the couple love each other. They’re ready to eagerly embrace parenthood.

So when Martha’s water breaks, Sean distracts her with dumb jokes — already with the dad humor! — and places a call to their midwife. The woman they’ve prepped with, who the two have trusted to guide them through a home birth, is unavailable. A substitute named Eva (Molly Parker) will be assisting them in her stead. She shows up, helps with what turns out to be a somewhat fraught delivery … and then things suddenly, inexplicably take a turn for the worse.

The fact that the Hungarian filmmaker Kornél Mundruczó presents this entire sequence of events in what’s designed to resemble a continuous 24-minute shot sounds, on paper, like just another virtuoso move designed to induce a “how’d they do that?” shock and awe more characteristic of magic shows. Yet the director, making his English-language debut, isn’t indulging in hollow, look-ma-no-cuts showing off for its own sake; by letting viewers experience these wrong turns in real time, he’s both establishing your bond with these characters and letting his actors dictate the scene’s free fall from joy to tragedy. Cowritten by his longtime collaborator Kata Wéber, Pieces draws from her play of the same name (along with a very personal experience), and you can see the theatrical origins in this extended set-up. But that aspect works in the movie’s favor here. It’s not the fluid, snaking and craning camera that draws you in but Kirby’s animalistic grunts and cries, LaBeouf’s manic running around and tender encouragement, Parker’s authoritative earth-mother commandeering that slowly turn hesitant as the situation spirals out of everyone’s control. The “single” take is not the showcase itself so much as the stage for it.

Mundruczó’s breakthrough film, the 2014 Cannes prizewinner/canine-payback parable White God, proved he could meld feeling onto feats of incredible technical prowess — just try to direct an actual pack of 30 dogs to behave like an organized, vengeful army. Displaying your chops while also giving your performers room to do their best work, especially in a story that threatens to tiptoe into maudlin territory at any moment, is far more impressive then how much you can whip a Panaflex around. Not to mention that he’s marshaling a truly odd and unique cast: Name another drama that features LaBeouf, Burstyn, one of the Safdie brothers, Succession‘s Sarah Snook and stand-up comic Iliza Schlesinger in the same scene, much less the same movie. It’s a delicate balance, and this is where the second and third stand-out aspects enter the picture.

Everyone deals with the tragedy in their own way, from chilly disassociation to bad-habit relapses to furtive stabs at fucking the grief away. (To say that a sequence involving LaBeouf aggressively pursuing sex with Kirby before angrily storming away plays … incredibly uncomfortably in light of recent news is to put it mildly. There’s a fury in his work here that makes you feels like a voyeur, and not in a good way.) Martha’s mother chooses to pursue her catharsis by holding Eva accountable via legal means. Cue: The Monologue.

The matriarch has gathered the family together for dinner, in the hopes of, among other things, convincing Martha to go forward with a lawsuit. There is resistance. So Mom recounts the story of how sheer luck saved her as a baby, at which point Burstyn hand-delivers an elderly woman reopening a decades-old wound. There is so much kindness and sorrow, survivalist grit and a pleading sense of grace in the reading; Burstyn herself has said that she improvised part of the speech as the cameras were rolling. No one needs convincing that she’s a national treasure, yet to observe the veteran Oscar-winner elevating what could’ve been a clichéd exercise in pushing emotional pressure points is to observe the power of acting. It’s a showstopping turn in miniature, from someone with a career already bursting with them.

Pieces of a Woman largely belongs to the woman on the verge of a nervous breakdown at its center, however, and it’s Vanessa Kirby who gifts the film with The Performance. London theatergoers were lucky enough to catch the 32-year-old on stage, doing Shakespeare and Chekhov; the rest of us have been content to watch her flex as a clutch supporting player (The Crown) and action-movie femme fatale/hero (Mission: Impossible — Fallout, Hobbs & Shaw). But her profoundly traumatized Martha is something unique, a fully formed and in-focus picture of someone falling apart. She is a walking, talking, dead-eyed raw nerve, and after being partially responsible for the most realistic screen labors in recent memory, Kirby plays the bulk of her scenes in the key of shellshocked. It’s less a performance of repression than recession, as Martha keeps drawing back into herself or numbly shuffling through her interactions and routines. When she does occasionally lash out, it’s like the flailing gestures of a drowning person.

This is an extraordinary example of how to craft an empathetic take on psychic agony bit by bit, piece by piece, and without pandering for easy points. And it’s the sort of achievement that doubles as a coronation of Kirby as a first-rate actor, that next-gen star willing to crack herself open for a role. She’s a much-needed anchor here as well, notably when Weber’s script and Mundruczó’s conceptual choices veer off into shaky territory. There’s surely a way to express the ginger process of healing other than the heavy-handed visual metaphor of a bridge that, as we see the dates go by, slowly comes together as a solid structure; should you think you’re imagining some of those Biblical signifiers that pop up, an ambiguous Garden-of-Eden coda lets you know you’re not losing your mind. Not even Kirby can keep a late-act courtroom address from collapsing under its own weight.

But riding shotgun with her maternal phoenix makes up for a lot, and out of the trio of reasons to seek this work out, it’s the experience of shuffling miles in Martha’s blood-flecked boots that compels you to stay with it. So many movies deal with grief, anguish and personal reformation as little more than a chance for performative grandstanding. Pieces of a Woman has some of those moments, too. What’s fueling it, however, is a very real sense of what’s happens underneath all of the things we associate with melodrama — the tiny implosions beneath the surfaces. You merely see the impact instead of the demolition itself, but you see the damage done nonetheless. And when it’s all over, you see the hard work of someone succeeding in, hopefully, becoming whole again.

[terramythos]

TerraMythos' 2020 Reading Challenge - Book 34 of 26

Title: The Harbors of the Sun (2017) (The Books of the Raksura #5)

Author: Martha Wells

Genre/Tags: Fantasy, Epic Fantasy, Adventure, LGBT Protagonist, Female Protagonist (Kind Of), Third-Person

Rating: 9/10

Date Began: 12/11/2020

Date Finished: 12/25/2020

Moon and his friends are reeling from the betrayal of a former ally. With several members of their party kidnapped, and a mysterious weapon stolen by their new enemy, the chase is on. He and the others must infiltrate unknown territory to rescue their missing family and avert a deadly calamity. At the same time, a massive army of Fell are gathering to attack the Reaches. The Raksuran colonies of Indigo Cloud and Opal Night must join forces to defend their home before they are overrun and destroyed. 

“But you don’t want to be near Fell,” Moon guessed. Considering what had happened to Shade when they had been captured by the Fell flight northwest of the Reaches, it was only rational. 

“No, I don’t.” He looked at Moon hopelessly. “Is that weak?” 

Consorts were supposed to be weak and delicate and need everything done for them, but Moon and Shade were different, and nothing was going to change that. And “weak” wasn’t really the right word for what Shade meant. What he was trying to say was harder to express. It was giving into feelings other people thought you were supposed to have about things that shouldn’t have happened to you in the first place, but were not like the actual feelings you did have. There wasn’t a word for that in Raksuran or Altanic or Kedaic or any other language Moon knew. Moon said, “It’s not weak.” 

Full review, some spoilers, and content warning(s) under the cut. 

Content warnings for the book:  Graphic violence and action. Implied past r*pe (it’s the same plot point as previous books). Genocide is a big plot point of this one. 

The Harbors of the Sun is the fifth, and presumably final, book in the Raksura series. And boy what a ride it's been. I've enjoyed settling in with a longer fantasy series. While I'm excited to read something new, I'll miss these characters and the captivating world they inhabit. Since this is probably the last installment, I'll look into book-specific details, but also provide some series retrospective commentary. I won't touch on everything, just things that stick out to me.

From what I can tell, The Harbors of the Sun is a little controversial with long time fans. I can see why, and it's the same reason I added "Epic Fantasy" to the tag list. Most of the series has focused on small-scale conflicts centering on the Raksuran characters. There's hints of large-scale stuff in The Siren Depths, but that crisis is averted, so thus not fully realized. However, these last two books contain a much longer storyline, and the stakes in The Harbors of the Sun are potentially catastrophic not just for the Raksura, but thousands if not millions of people. Think The Lord of the Rings trilogy vs The Hobbit in terms of ramp up.

Due to the larger scale, this book also embraces a rotating point of view. The original trilogy is entirely from Moon's perspective, and The Edge of Worlds only dips its toes into alternate POVs. The Harbors of the Sun features multiple character groups all doing important things to the story, so there's lots of perspective shifts. While I still consider Moon the main character, he shares the stage with many others.

Personally, I like the scaled up conflict. It seems like a natural progression of the series. While not every point of view wows me, finally seeing some stuff from Jade and Chime's perspective (for example) is really cool. While Moon is an enjoyable protagonist, he often interprets characters and motivations wrong. Getting someone else’s take on a given situation or character is refreshing. 

One of my favorite alt-perspectives is Frost. She's a young child and minor character, but serves as the perspective for a tense political discussion between Raksuran queens about impending war with the Fell. This whole section serves to convey important information, but also as great worldbuilding to see how Raksura interact with, indulge, and care for their young. While we have seen adult perspectives such as Moon happily playing with his children, it's interesting to see a child's view of life in the colony. This is emblematic of Wells' approach to the series and her technique when crafting this world. It would be easy to pick a major character like Malachite and tell this section from her perspective, but we would miss many interesting details. Using Frost isn't something I would necessarily consider, and is just a cool writing choice.

By the end, The Harbors of the Sun feels like it's been a long, epic journey-- more so than the shorter adventures of previous books. A LOT of stuff happens in this book, and there's so many different interesting places the characters visit. Even events at the beginning feel distant compared to where everything ends. There is a unique appeal in this kind of story. Maybe it's not for everyone, but I personally like the change of pace and tone, especially as a finale. 

For a series retrospective, the Fell are an interesting subject to discuss. I'm impressed with what Wells pulls off with them. One of my criticisms of The Cloud Roads is the Fell aren't especially compelling villains. They're an evil race of shapeshifters, distantly related to Raksura, who infiltrate cities and eat the population. The Fell are parasites-- they have no real culture or ability to survive except through the destruction of others. They’ve recently taken to destroying Raksuran colonies, kidnapping survivors, and forcing them to produce crossbreeds. Obviously, this introduces two narrative problems. One, "evil races" in fantasy are boring and already done ad nauseam. Two, how can one make the Fell interesting when they're literally irredeemable monsters? 

The answer, it turns out, is a nature vs nurture debate, and it's mostly approached through the Fell/Raksura crossbreed characters. While these ideas have been explored throughout the series, The Harbors of the Sun brings it full circle. The Cloud Roads' main antagonist is Ranea, a crossbreed queen raised by the Fell. She sees the crossbreeds as a natural way to strengthen the Fell and make them an even deadlier force than they are by default, since Raksura have their own set of powers and traits. She’s soundly defeated, supposedly concluding the subplot. Until, of course, it comes back. 

In The Siren Depths, we meet several crossbreed characters who are, for all intents and purposes, Raksura. Malachite rescued them as children and chose to raise them as Raksura of Opal Night. The result is that, while Shade and Lithe are aware of their heritage, they've experienced love and acceptance throughout their lives. Sure, they may have some physical traits and abilities that differ from the others, but often these have practical uses in the story. Their families don’t treat them differently because of this. As characters, they're just as Raksuran as everyone else.

In The Edge of Worlds, we're introduced to another crossbreed queen, a foil to Ranea. While she makes some early mistakes, unlike Ranea she seems capable of reason and compassion. We learn her name and backstory in The Harbors of the Sun. Consolation was born in a Fell flight, but most of her childcare came from her father, a captive Raksuran consort. Hence her name, which is painful with context and distinctly Raksuran. Apparently, the consort's influence didn't just extend to Consolation, but to other outcasts in the flight. After his death, Consolation and her allies slaughtered the leadership and took over the flight, and seek a place to live in peace independent of traditional Fell corruption and influence. 

One of the interesting things about this are the kethel and dakti in Consolation's flight. Throughout the series, these two Fell castes are basically treated as cannon fodder. If you need a big intimidating enemy, throw in a kethel. For annoying imp swarms, dakti. The Raksura tend to think of these creatures as intelligent animals, not people. They only talk when a Fell ruler takes over their mind. They're treated badly among the Fell; cannibalized them when food stores get low, thrown into suicidal situations, etc. 

In The Harbors of the Sun, the kethel and dakti can speak, much to the surprise of the main cast. Consolation's main advisor is a crossbreed dakti named First. There's also a kethel (presumably pureblooded Fell) that follows and assists Moon and Stone throughout the book and engages them in conversation. They clearly distrust it, but over the course of the story go from calling it "the kethel" to "Kethel", like an actual name. It has ulterior motives-- to convince the Raksura to help Consolation-- but is certainly not "inherently evil", nor just an intelligent animal. This is counter to everything we've been led to believe through the series, and it shocks multiple characters and challenges their way of thinking. 

The argument at the end is that the Fell are evil because of a poisonous ideology and the total control of the progenitors (female rulers). Raised with compassion and better treatment, they're very similar to the Raksura. I'm honestly impressed with where the Fell end up vs where they start in The Cloud Roads. I don't know if Wells planned this arc for them from the beginning, but I like the amount of nuance she introduced without it feeling gross or trite. Does it work 100 percent? I'm not sure; I'd have to reread the series in more depth. But based on my current thoughts, it’s a good development; it doesn’t “redeem” or justify the Fell, but demonstrates the ways in which future generations can change and break the cycle. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows, and many characters clearly distrust these “new” Fell (understandable considering the sheer trauma most of the cast has), but it’s an interesting take nevertheless. 

On another subject, we never really learn what was up with the forerunners! Except they really liked flower motifs, I guess. I kind of like this; there's an impression that the long forgotten civilizations of the past were technologically advanced, but no one knows what happened to them. It's just an enduring mystery of the series. Ultimately it doesn't matter to the characters, and that's fine.

Also, we now have confirmation that The Serpent Sea is basically filler. It felt like a side story when I read it, but part of me hoped it would have some relevance to these last two books. Nope. I’m a little disappointed in this, but it’s not the end of the world, just something to keep in mind when reading the series. I think the book is entertaining on its own merits, but there’s little to connect it to the main story besides the characters. 

Overall I recommend these books to people looking for a non-traditional fantasy series. There's no humans or typical Tolkein-esque fantasy races. Instead there are dozens of sapient humanoid species invented whole cloth, with some obvious real world inspirations. The shapeshifting Raksura are lovingly crafted, with lots of interesting detail about their culture, customs, and daily life. I love how they feel like believable people but are distinctly nonhuman. As a setting, The Three Worlds is deadly and fascinating, with lots of interesting places and people. There's always a sense of a big, vibrant world, even when the books choose not to explore it in depth. While The Harbors of the Sun feels like a finale to the current Raksuran story, I wouldn't be surprised if Wells visits this setting in the future.

There are some short story collections in this series which I do plan to read sometime in 2021. However, I'm going to take a break from the Raksura series and dive into something else for now. Thanks for reading! 

[marysfoxmask]

“the secret garden” (2020) review

(warning: spoilers!)

just watched the latest adaptation again! i wanted to see it a second time to really get my thoughts and feelings together. and, while i think it was a good effort, ultimately i was disappointed. my instincts when i first saw the trailer were more or less correct—really vibrant, flashy visuals ultimately subtract from the low-key nature of the book. when adapting a story about realizing the magic in mundanity, realizing the magic inherent to the turning of the seasons and the growing of plants that we usually take for granted, it’s monumentally better to prioritize realism over fantasy.

mary’s character was served the best by the new film, though sadly that isn’t saying too much. while i understood that this mary would be different from her book counterpart, i definitely felt the original’s absence more than i would have liked. the mary of this film is just too well-adjusted, to the point where her arc is less about a spiritually stunted, completely neglected child becoming healthy and whole through the power of nature and socialization (as it is in the novel) and more about a vaguely troubled child apologizing to the specter of her late mother for feeling badly about being neglected, which is essentially the opposite of what burnett was getting at.

was anyone pining for a mrs. lennox redemption story? the same woman who, as per the book, never wanted a child and only cared about going to parties? i’ll forever be baffled by people being more invested in the adults and their ponderous backstories rather than the emotional development of the child protagonists; this film seems a lot more interested in the impact of the deaths of mary and colin’s mothers, to a bizarre degree. “grace” craven (really? was “lilias” not good enough?) and her sister (this and the 1993 film both depart from the book, where mary’s father is related to lilias, in favor of making mrs. lennox and mrs. craven twins—a decision i’m confused by in terms of thematic relevance on both accounts) are never characterized more than being essentially the angels of misselthwaite. they float by, laughing gaily, dressed in white, at points during the film. they are bittersweet representations of the idealized past and, at one point, guardians of their loved ones left behind.

i’ve never enjoyed the romanticization of lilias craven in any adaptation. mary calls the fairytale trope of beautiful princesses falling asleep in a garden for a hundred years stupid in the novel; and what is lilias but a princess eternally sleeping in her beloved garden? she’s beautiful and innocent and good and thoroughly uninteresting. she’s the angel of the house, embarrassingly dated compared to her imperfect, misfit niece, who is coming awake and growing healthy while lilias is frozen in amber, a beautiful idealized figure even in death. the interest in her in this film, the broadway musical—and even the 1993 movie, to an extent—seems to completely contradict the point of the novel, fetishizing the past and resisting lending enough focus to the events of the present. mary is a spunky, interesting, flawed heroine who doesn’t need to share the spotlight with any angels of the manor; the story of the secret garden is one about healing from trauma, not wallowing in it.

that isn’t even touching on the decision to have mrs. lennox be an apparently good person brought low by depression following her beloved twin’s death. i find this adaptive choice to be positively loathsome. mrs. lennox, as a character, is a bad mother and a silly, foolish person, point blank, period. she hands baby mary off to an ayah the moment she’s born, keeps her isolated and locked up, and insists that the ayah keep mary quiet lest “the mem sahib” become angry. when given the chance of evacuating due to the cholera epidemic raging, she instead stays in order to go to a party. she’s a frivolous character whose superficial prioritization of amusement leads directly to her death. she doesn’t need a sympathetic reason to be neglectful to mary; she doesn’t need to be sympathetic at all. the decision to make that a priority in this latest adaptation hurts mary’s character. when she tells her uncle that it was too hot to play in india (a sentiment taken directly from the novel), it doesn’t ring true—in the multiple flashbacks to india, mary plays a lot with her loving father (her ayah, while mentioned, is rarely seen; what we see of india is populated entirely by privileged whites), and is shown to enjoy herself tremendously until she glimpses her mother wilting sadly on a cushion or something. it undermines what little development mary has in the film. 

the prioritization of mary and colin's mothers in general make the film feel weirdly overstuffed while giving little weight/emphasis to the events present in the source material. how many lines did major secondary characters like dickon or martha have, for example, compared to all the waffling mary and colin do about whether or not their mothers loved them and whether mary really killed her mother or not they, at the end of the day, really knew their parents, et cetera, et cetera? it’s a frustratingly shallow addition to the original story, devoid of thematic relevance.

speaking of shallow additions…

hector, a stray dog, assumes the role of the book’s robin (bizarre, considering the robin is also present), being the friendly animal character that leads mary to the secret garden. i’m not sure why the decision to add hector was made; he’s also the catalyst for mary leading dickon to the garden, while she needed no such thing in the book. did marc munden feel kids wouldn’t sympathize so readily with mary befriending a bird, despite the success of all the other adaptations saying otherwise? hector gets a lot of attention in the film, which is frustrating, because so much of the movie is filled with strange original additions that say little. 

despite the clear talent of the actors and the vividness of the visuals, the changes to the story are devoid of purpose. the time period, for instance—why 1947? why have mary’s orphaning take place during the partition of india when her parents die of cholera anyway? why make martha and dickon black when the script pussyfoots around it, refusing to interact with that aspect of their characters in the same way burnett directly (if somewhat tactlessly) interacts with their poverty? save for vague, implicatory dialogue, like the threat of having poor dickon whipped if he’s sighted in misselthwaite by mrs. medlock, the racism of the time period isn’t featured at all. martha is stripped of any characterization at all, her cheerfulness diluted to the point of being nonexistent once mary gets a bit snappy. perhaps the decision to mute martha’s characterization was made out of fear of the implications of a black maid being cheerfully nurturing to a white girl despite her cruelty (invoking the mammy stereotype)—but if so, why make the decision to change martha’s race at all?

the structure of the film is odd, too. mary meets colin early on (in the book, mary explicitly states that she’d hate the imperious and bratty colin if she hadn’t met kindly martha or dickon first) and doesn’t meet dickon until halfway through. why? it directly contradicts the novel for no particular reason; it doesn’t help that dickon is so underused that he’s virtually a non-entity, his three whole canonical character traits (poor! happy! in tune with nature!) watered down to nothing. In this film, dickon isn’t particularly happy (he’s just as solemn and damaged as the other two kids, though in a more subdued way, as his father has died in the war—it’s frustrating that his rich white peers get to air their mommy issues at length while poor dickon’s grief is only glanced at) and his skill with animals is only vaguely alluded to. his skill with plants, negated by the apparent flourishing of the secret garden even when no one’s looking after it, is only brought up when, in one scene taking place in the garden, colin asks dickon what certain plants are.

it’s also frustrating that dickon, the only poor and nonwhite character in the trio, is the only one doing only actual gardening work while his friends sit around and talk about their trauma. the whole time, i wanted to urge mary to stop indulging in her overactive imagination for once and pull some weeds or something. putting in the work to make her secret garden flourish is an important part of her growth in the book, but that’s entirely absent here in favor of the occasional frolic. dickon even eventually whittles colin a cane he uses to eventually stumble into his father’s arms. this gesture should be touching and evident of the strength of the boys’ (offscreen) bond but instead is only another example of dickon selflessly and thoughtlessly serving his betters, making the classist implications of burnett’s original story more obviously troubling by adding race into the mix. it’s also bizarre that mary can cartwheel but dickon can’t, given how physically adept he was in the book. poor dickon is sapped of all his accomplishments, it seems. his character is completely glossed over, though i do like his feistiness in his meeting with mary, with him coming out of the mist and sharply remarking that martha loves him much more than she likes her. even more sadly, unlike his ‘93 counterpart, he doesn’t even get to eat a worm.

mrs. medlock is one-notedly antagonistic, being hard-nosed and strict and disapproving of mary’s wild ways—which is also disappointing. she’s not outright villainous, but she’s denied the shades of sympathy allowed her by the original novel, where she was a straightforward, unsentimental woman working a thankless job trying to satisfy and care for a tyrannical little hypochondriac. she’s also probably the closest thing we have in the movie to a xenophobe/racist, frequently making coded comments about the primitive and savage nature of the english colonies in india where mary grew up, but that’s only ever hinted at without being called out by mary or anyone else. there’s also an odd moment at the beginning of the film where mrs. medlock states the book-accurate sentiment that nothing lives on the moor but wild ponies and sheep, yet mary sees in the mist multiple shadowy figures with what i think are wheelbarrows and gardening tools (it’s a bit hard to tell with all the mist). this probably is meant to clue mary in to medlock’s classism, foreshadowing that mary will be given insight to the outdoors and different people in a way medlock could never be, changing her views of the class hierarchy she’s been inundated by—i’m not sure what else can be gleaned by the contradiction of medlock’s words and what mary sees but that—but nothing is done with it. we never see anyone on the moor but dickon throughout the rest of the movie. it’s another missed opportunity. maybe it’s meant to set up that there are poachers on the moor who set traps, like the one hector is hurt by? after seeing the movie twice, i’m still not sure what the purpose of that imagery was.

there are parts of the film i enjoyed! all the children do wonderfully in their roles (amir wilson does well with what frustratingly little he has), and i enjoyed this film’s characterization of colin as somewhat stiff, with a practiced, affected way of speaking that subtly indicates that he’s spent more time with books than with people. it makes a nice contrast to mary’s plainspokenness as a (relatively classless) orphan and dickon’s “rough” (lower-class) yorkshire accent, showing off his education and status as an upper-class boy. 

the scene just before mary shows colin the tree his mother died beneath, when colin asks dickon about the names of flowers, is very sweet and book-accurate; i especially appreciate the nod to the kids’ book mastery of yorkshire, with colin mimicking dickon’s speech and noting that the names of the flowers sound better in his accent. 

i also loved him calling dickon handsome. it is socially awkward? yes. does it make sense for colin to be socially awkward? also yes. and it’s adorable and book-accurate, in my opinion; if dickon weren’t so homely in the book, i imagine colin would call him handsome there, too. and mary proudly stating that dickon can whistle, as well, is lovely.

similarly, mary and dickon teaching colin to swim is very sweet—while i found most of the garden’s cgi magic wholly dispensable, i did enjoy the plants shivering along with colin. that sort of playfulness felt very attuned to the innocence of the book. 

edan hayhurst does a wonderful job playing colin haughty and upset and an equally lovely job playing colin giddy and happy—if only he’d been allowed to really show off his screaming in a proper adaptation of his hysterics, instead of the pale imitation we got in the film!

it’s funny to note how much these kids get enjoyment out of pretending to be dogs. mary barks at hector when she first makes friends with him, pretends to be a yorkshire terrier with dickon when hector gets well in the garden, all the kids start barking when playing together, mary recites in a letter that colin pretended to be a dog all day...these kids sure love to bark. it’s not a bad thing, necessarily, just funny. why the dog obsession, marc munden? though i like the idea of them pretending to be animals (the masks they wear at one point are lovely), dogs feel a very typical choice. still, i can’t help but get enjoyment out of the kids playing together, though these moments are sadly brief. 

i also really enjoyed all of mary’s outfits. they were adorable. if only we could have gotten more interactions between the children! part of the beauty of the second half of the novel is just watching the kids be kids in the garden; we rarely get that in all of the adaptations, of course, but in this one i was particularly sorrowful, given all the new directions the story went and how none of them directly impacted the children’s friendship with each other. there wasn’t even the mild jealousy colin has over mary spending more time with dickon than she is with him, which is present in most of the films. it’s a real shame; colin doesn’t even know dickon exists until he meets him, in a hurried scene that doesn’t remotely convey the sweetness of their meeting in the novel. the movie flits over all the book’s little idyllic joys in favor of its own original drama (which is not nearly as compelling as the movie thinks it is).

i did also enjoy the ending scene, with the kids swimming together, and mary attempting to tell a story with colin and dickon interrupting. it’s nice to see an ending to this story that doesn’t follow the book, which forgets mary and dickon in favor of colin. i think ending with the kids playing happy and whole in the garden is much more representative of the book’s charms. and the scene where mary and dickon first enter misselthwaite and are giving all-clear signs to one another as they go is fun, too.

i also enjoyed the set design, including all the green present in misselthwaite’s decor. i loved the high ceilings and the bareness of mary’s bedroom. poor colin still didn’t have any proper pajamas, reduced to wearing a white tank top for some reason, though i liked his goofy little hat that he wears when going outdoors. i wish we got to spend more time in colin’s room, and i wish the color saturation had been toned down a little just so we could get a better look at everything. all the insistent gloomy blues felt a bit overbearing. 

i love the opening credits, though, and “the secret garden” slowly appearing in the title screen. the music and the soft green of the trees against the words really conjure up the novel’s near-pagan melancholy and mystery.

the less said about the third act climax of misselthwaite burning down, the better. it’s unneeded and resolves a film-only subplot about mary’s mother that didn’t need to be there in the first place. i think it also unfairly paints misselthwaite as a cursed, doomed place that can only benefit its inhabitants by being destroyed, which is unfortunate. misselthwaite wasn’t the problem, its people was, and they only thought misselthwaite was gloomy because they’d made it so. if they’d followed the teachings of burnett’s book, the one they were adapting, and thought a little more positively about it, then maybe they’d find it wasn’t such a terrible place to be. but, then, i guess we wouldn’t have the third act climax to artificially ramp up the stakes. how sad.

i could say more, but i’ll stop for now. i appreciate the effort, like i said, but i can’t help but feel this missed the mark.

[genericruleroftheflies]

The Wilds Impressions

Hey, I’m starting to watch The Wilds. I have heard people compare it to Lost and Lord of the Flies, so as a big LOTF fan I thought I’d take a look and basically “live tweet” my reactions here.

Episode 1:

-An after the island/post-island fic, we love it

-I def wrote stories where Ralph was getting interviewed after the island

-I don’t think this main girl has Ralph energy tho

-oh this girl I hope she’s Simon she’s so cute

-love all these girls already I can’t

-the edgy lord is fem!Roger

-have I said I love all these girls?

-oooooh pairs

-we got some incoming backstories

-I hate this one boy, he’s so lame- NO BOYS

-so far I’m into this, like is it a little stupid? Yes, but I’m down for an all teen girl lotf if done well so we will see...

-watch Picnic at Hanging Rock for an example of what I mean

-I love all these characters they are great

-a lot of p!nk happening here

-oh shit I can’t have too many ships

-she’s missing her teeth, I love that

-the plane is going down... dundundun

-why this dude look like Adam Sandler?

-some of these girls are so cute together

-this guy is a little weird, and she’s like “I’m 18 soon so we can kiss” so funny like girl no it’s not your fault but no

-Aw she saved one girl

-did she screw the plane why is she so sorry?

-classic LOTF convo, who is chief?!?!?!

-take a look in the woods QUEEN

-there is def a love triangle

-if this phone comes back that’s insane

-Shelby/jack is the best character ngl

-the one girl found the other girls suitcase and was like “OF COURSE HERS WOULD SHOW UP” and then played it real cool giving it to her it was so funny

-girl just killed Shelby

-that was so rude

-kill them all Shelby

-she singing and loves god and hunts I can’t

-Martha/Simon confirmed with flipping the turtle over

-“I like watching you do ordinary things” is such a dope line

-the diet cokes are sending me

-there’s a phone nooo

-if this girl calls her ex I swear

-she lied about her birthday omg

-Yikes

-Don’t call him

-oh my god this girl is dying, she crashed the plane, or she’s having spells idk

-her whole stomach is fucked

-she dead?!?! No birthmark kid!!!

-this got dark fast shit

-The phone rang?! If she calls her ex I swear

-she’s calling him

-this is ROUGH

-he’s gonna hang up on her but they need to get off the island

-the phones gonna be dead this is terrible

-Girl... this is rough... this is hard to watch honey

-lol she said the island is irrelevant

-yeah Jeanette was on the inside

-this is the maze runner comparison I get it

Overall, interesting start. I like a modern/female telling of lord of the flies and lost. It reminds me a lot more of lost, but lost reminds me a lot of LOTF. And here they are actually still “kids” without adults so. I will see how it goes.

What are y’all thinking?

-“since she was made in your image we can be sure she was beautiful”

-No don’t all sing P!nk

-this is rough

-they have a fire going? Without issue? Who started the fire?!

[laboratorium2d]

Children's Animated Series, As Graded by a Parent Who Has Watched Far Too Many of Them

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic: The brony thing is legitimately weird, but this is legitimately a great show. The combination of epic-fantasy plots with a deep dive on friendship is a winner (and has also been deeply influential on kids' television). It also makes the obligatory pro-social messages feel earned, rather than an afterthought. The characters are charming, the writing sparkles, and the animation is still distinctive. Endlessly watchable, which is a good thing when your kid wants to watch endlessly. Fake holidays: Nightmare Night, Hearth's Warming Eve, Hearts and Hooves Day. Grade: A+

Avatar: I was fifteen years too old for this when it was on TV, so I didn't understand what the fuss was about. Now I do. It's epic but not grandiose, funny but not dumb, and morally deep without giving into plot gravity. The world-building, the writing, the animation, the voice-acting, the fight scenes, the side characters: everything works, and everything is pulling in the same direction. (The sequel series, The Legend of Korra, is more of the same, with an interestingly updated setting and better music.) If your kids are like mine, they'll want to talk about everything, and so will you. I guess binge-watching is a family thing now. Grade: A+

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power: This show is so gay. However gay you expect it to be, it's ten times gayer. It's also pro-diversity along every axis you can imagine, including body-type. It's completely awesome. It captures the uncannily compelling techno-fantasy atmosphere of the original, and it has characters with the same names, but otherwise it's a total gut rehab. The character studies at its core are compelling, even as the overall plot and action hold a young child's interest. It takes lots of anime animation tropes and tones them down to the verge of naturalism, which I wouldn't have thought would work, but totally does. Grade: A-

Wild Kratts: The big kid was learning biology from this show almost from before she could talk. "Giraffe. Long neck. Eat leaves." The premise of the show is genius: animated versions of veteran kids' wildlife-show hosts Chris and Martin Kratt have suits that give them "creature powers," and they travel around the world having adventures with animals. The science is legit and it's presented entertainingly. And the characters are winners, especially the creature-suit inventor Aviva Corcovado and the colorful villains. The only thing consistently annoying about this show is that it can be shouty. Everyone is Just! So! Excited! About! Animals! Grade: A-.

Phineas and Ferb: The Arrested Development of kids' animation, Phineas and Ferb is impossibly dense with overlapping plots, brick jokes, and a large army of recurring minor characters. Every episode features an original song, some of which are genuinely brilliant ("Squirrels in My Pants" is a household favorite). It is also a wholly, completely sweet-hearted show. Even the antagonists -- Candace and Dr. Doofenshmirtz -- are sympathetic, charming, fully-realized, and allowed to grow and be happy in ways that a lesser version of this show would never even have realized was a possibility. The allegretto pacing and intricate writing keep the show consistently fresh. New Disney at its best. Grade: A-

Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom: From the same team who brought you Peppa Pig, but even drier underneath its treacly trappings. The comedic timing is straight out of classic British sketch comedy. The voice actors are clearly in on the joke, which if anything makes the show more fun to listen to than to watch. B+

Dinosaur Train: Sometimes high concepts work. The show 100% owns its message: dinosaur physiology is a diversity metaphor, presented with just the right degree of insistence. The characters are sketched with grace and sympathy, and the science is pitched just right for its target audience. Over the years, the show (like all railfans) has gotten increasingly obsessed with its train equipment: the aquacar, the submarine, the ... zeppelin. The songs are surprisingly catchy, too: our favorite is probably the Dinosaur Train Zeppelin song, which, yes, is a Led Zeppelin pastiche. Grade: B+

Odd Squad: This one really grew on me. If all you've seen is short clips, it just seems like everyone is shouting about math all the time. But the show overall is delightfully goofy, with a real sense of how to string along a running gag, and some genuinely talented child actors. Grade: B+

Creative Galaxy: Despite being a total Daniel Tiger rip-off, down to the animation style, the obligatory song in every episode, and the live-action codas, this one is actually kind of nice. The art projects are well-chosen both to interest kids and also to actually be doable. Fake holidays: Heart Day. Grade: B

Peppa Pig: It took me a long time to appreciate this show's arch sense of humor. Everyone's pretensions and ambitions are punctured; embarrassing mistakes and small indignities await adults at every turn. Once you realize that the show is making fun of most of its characters but loves them anyway, it's much more bearable. Grade: B

Curious George: Entirely forgettable, with two mildly redeeming qualities. George himself is as charming as always, and the jazzy musical score is pleasant. Grade: B-

Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir: It took me a while to understand what this show was doing. It's very, very French. Grade: C+

Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood: Even my kids recognize that Daniel Tiger is needy and whiny. The show inadvertently teaches kids what to be afraid of and how to misbehave. There is also something deeply wrong with the economy of the Neighborhood: everyone seems to have multiple jobs and the public transit system runs on magic. On the plus side, the potty song has come in handy as a reminder: when you have to go potty, stop and go right away. Fake holidays: Love Day, Snowflake Day, Dress Up Day. Grade: C+

Ready Jet Go: I suppose there's some science in here somewhere, I guess. Grade: C+

Tumble Leaf: Reviewers might call this one "gentle," by which they mean "boring." The animation is lovely and the music is calming. But what's the point? Grade: C+

PAW Patrol: Unbelievably, incredibly formulaic. For example: have you noticed that they get in their trucks at exactly the same point halfway through each episode? Just Canadian enough to be noticeably off, but also rah-rah in a George W. Bush-administration kind of way. Sometimes I imagine grown-up versions of the pups. Chase regularly engages in police brutality, Rubble has a drinking problem, and Marshall has joined the alt-right. Grade: C

Nature Cat: Nature Cat is annoying and his friends are worse. I'm not clear on what they're supposed to be learning. And the theme song manages to be both unmemorable and an earworm. Make it stop! Grade: C

Super Why: More like Super Why Does This Exist, amirite? The whole show is oddly paced: I find the story-within-a-story structure confusing and can only wonder how much of it kids actually get. Having each character deal with a different aspect of literacy leaves the show's educational content unfocused. And the Super Letters are like the world's lamest game of Wheel of Fortune. Plus the song is an earworm, and not in a good way. Grade: C

Sofia the First: Empty Disney calories, this show is the reductio ad absurdum of Disney's democratization of the idea of "princess." The plotting, the writing, and the music are technically proficient. The cel-shading effects that give 3D animation the luminosity of 2D hand drawn are lovely. The messages are perfectly innocuous. But the heart of the show is a giant gaping void. Fake holidays: Wassailia. Grade: C

Lion Guard: More empty Disney calories, like Sofia the First but with more obnoxious characters. Inexplicably real holiday: Christmas. Grade: C-

Peg + Cat: All I can remember is that the show is inexplicably drawn on graph paper, and they have a BIG BIG PROBLEM every few seconds. When people complain about STEM, and I remember that this show exists, I have to admit that they have a point. Grade: C-

Martha Speaks: The AV Club's term for this kind of show is "least essential." Even by the standards of kids' shows, the premise makes no sense. Nobody here, human or canine, is remotely sympathetic. And the plot comes to a screeching halt every time it's time for a new vocabulary word. Grade: C-

WordWorld: I have so many questions about this show. If everything is made out of words, what about the ground? The sky? Windows? And what are the letters in the words made of? What is going on with the accents? And who greenlit three seasons of this garbage? Grade: D+

The Adventures of Puss in Boots: This is a weird, weird show. And not in a good way. Grade: D+

Trolls: The Beat Goes On: Quite possibly the most misanthropic kids show currently streaming anywhere. The combination of grimdark setting and hackneyed uplifting plot tropes is somewhere between unsettling and child abuse. Poppy is a walking illustration of emotional labor; Branch has severe PTSD. The show treats both of these as laughable quirks. And I am never going to get used to the Auto-Tune. Grade: D+

Kung-Fu Panda: The Paws of Destiny: Pretty much your standard DreamWorks animation. This is not a good thing. Grade: D

If You Give a Mouse a Cookie: The animation and voice-acting are innocuous. But building an entire show around the "if X, then Y" formula led to some disastrous choices. The show taught my big kid how to say things like, "If I see a rock, I just have to bring it home with me." It takes a special kind of kids show to affirmatively instill bad habits. Grade: D-

The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle (2018): An absolute travesty in every possible way. The remake is the direct opposite of everything the original represented: crude instead of clever, manic instead of playful, and mean instead of goofy. Grade: F-

[stevenuniversallyreviews]

Episode 129: Stuck Together

“I’m afraid right now.”

And here, after almost a hundred and thirty episodes of waiting, do we finally see that Lars can make a change.

The Good Lars was a great start, with Lars opening up enough to suggest that he might take a risk and let the Cool Kids know something real about himself. But he never makes it to the party, and as we learn here, it wasn’t because he was abducted. I Am My Mom proves that those events didn’t transform Lars, as when the going gets tough his instinct is self-preservation over all else. But these two incidents in quick succession, combined with his capture and uncertain future, yank him kicking and screaming into the realm of sincerity.

But not at first. After Aquamarine starts the episode off with Steven, reminding us of the recent plot and her all-around awfulness, Lars is discovered just in time to prove that he’s frustrating as well. It’s a different shade, as Aquamarine is a bully at every opportunity while Lars lashes out as a reaction to feeling pathetic, but he has the chance to be an ally when Steven needs one the most, and it’s lousy that he chooses spite.

Don’t get me wrong, Aquamarine is worse for sure: there’s no reason to further ensnare her captives now that they’re on the ship, and the process is uncomfortable for the humans and Topaz, but she orders it anyway. She goes back on her word by refusing to return Lars, which is predictable given they’re already in space, but still displays her lack of honor. She’s not even good at telling jokes, unhelpfully explaining that her fake tear is her gem. And while Lars evolves over the course of the episode, the idea that she would do likewise is silly enough to fuel the episode’s best sight gag.

Still, I’ll give her this: considering how she revels in lording over Topaz, and considering Topaz not only disobeys her but attacks her, Aquamarine has a single quiet moment of empathy when she chooses to let bygones be bygones. It’s the lowest of bars, as she only does so after breaking Topaz’s will and on the condition that Topaz follow her commands, and saying that “we’ll never speak of this again” shows that she wants this toxic status quo to remain forever, but this is a character who takes glee in cruelty, so it’s fascinating that she doesn’t leap at the chance to punish Topaz further. It’s the tiniest speck of affection you could hope for, and it doesn’t come close to “redeeming” Aquamarine, but it’s there, showing that even this little monster has an ounce of depth.

While Lars might have similar jerk vibes, railing against Steven and refusing to even try and break free, it’s just his starting point. Stuck Together crystallizes the loop that has defined Lars up to this point: he’s mean, then he gets some sympathy, then he seems ready to change, then he’s mean again. But there’s a big difference this time, and it’s not just the setting: after putting up with it for the entire series, Steven is done with Lars’s nonsense.

When Lars blames Steven for the alien invasion, Steven doesn’t even apologize, instead saying that of course he’s the reason aliens invaded, but he did everything he could to help and Lars should’ve escaped better. This is huge, as it not only breaks with Steven’s usual patience for Lars’s behavior, but comes at a time when Steven is feeling so low that we might expect more than ever for him to wallow in his failure. We then get into miscommunication: first Steven calls Lars worthless, meaning well but feeding into Lars’s insecurities, then Steven does a shoddy job of explaining a shoddy plan (how the heck was Lars supposed to lasso anything on the other side of the room?). This is not his best self, but if he was thinking things through he probably wouldn’t be on a ship hurtling towards the Diamonds in the first place.

Between the stress of recent events and his frustration with Lars, Steven snaps in a way that’s reminiscent of, well, Lars: short-tempered and impulsive and frazzled and loud. Lars admits at last that he’s always been driven by fear, and that Steven’s enduring faith in him only makes the problem worse. In the same way Lars thinks baking is lame because he likes doing it and he’s lame, he takes it as a given that he’s a wuss, so hearing anyone say otherwise is annoying rather than encouraging. But by explaining it aloud, the flip of personalities begins to form: now Lars is pepping up an ornery Steven, and Steven completes the puzzle by admitting his own fear.

It’s not as simple as Lars becoming Steven and Steven becoming Lars, but both take major cues from the other. And when Lars goes further in his tentative enthusiasm, Steven cuts him off by revealing a brilliant new wrinkle in their relationship: because he’s an optimistic kid with parent figures who have always sugarcoated the bitterness of life, he appreciates the one person who's willing to talk about how much things can suck. And in this new era of his life, where it’s become clear that the sugarcoating extends past white lies and into major secret territory, it’s more important than ever to have a friend who tells it like it is. There’s been an underlying notion in their entire relationship that Steven wants to help Lars out, but it’s so much more meaningful to hear that Steven hangs out with Lars because Lars is a crank. 

This doesn’t mean Lars was perfect the way he was, or else his arc wouldn’t involve him changing. But there’s a huge difference between changing because it’s what makes other people comfortable and changing because it’s good for your soul, and this would be a very different story if Lars only grew to make Steven’s life better. Instead, it takes Steven showing Lars the value of his flaws for Lars to see enough value in himself to want to improve. 

We wait just long enough on Topaz for her voice to matter most, threading the needle between emotional beat and punchline. Martha Higareda sells her change of heart in no time, showing the first instance of a same-Gem fusion having the deep relationship we’ve seen from cross-Gem fusions like Garnet; perhaps our ornery rubies are closer than we think when they form Big Ole Ruby, but we haven’t seen any evidence of it. 

In lesser hands it might be hackneyed for the stoic character to reveal a soft heart, because the gentle giant is a bog-standard “don’t judge a book by its cover” trope. But this is our fifth episode in a row featuring Topaz as a wordless brute, first as a silhouette and then contrasted with a talkative brat of a partner. Are You My Dad in takes her into monster movie territory, complete with bloodcurdling music and tree-clearing stomps when she reveals her body full of writhing captives, and squeezing Jamie’s head in I Am My Mom is the most visceral threat we’ve seen a human face on the show. This isn’t just some big galoot opening up, it’s a Terminator showing she was a real girl all along.

A big reason why this works is that we don’t go full cloying, instead tempering the reveal with humor that’s both inherent (we don’t expect Topaz to get this emotional) and specific (using Steven’s pants to wipe the tears away). Instead of swinging for a Big Moment that exposes Topaz’s turmoil in a dramatic fashion, the mood is quiet and sweet. Topaz isn’t just a softy, she’s sort of a dork, and that extra bit of characterization for someone we’ll never see again in the original series is what makes Steven Universe so great. Effort always matters!

After seeing Steven help not one but two people begin to change, we see that he’s still stuck in his own rut of martyrdom: he plans to send Lars back alone and continue along his sacrificial path. Perhaps there’s a level of rationality to this, as if they both escaped then the ship would turn right back around to Earth. But Steven isn’t operating on rational thought, and he hasn’t been since his friends were first endangered: going to the Diamonds as Rose Quartz might secure his friends’ safety, but at the cost of near-certain death, so from a pure odds perspective it’d be better to go to the Zoo incognito where known allies like the Zoomans and Famethyst could help out. But he’s acting out of a misguided sense of duty, so he doesn’t express any tactical purpose for sending Lars away, instead repeating the idea that he must pay for Rose’s actions.

The perfect response to the downside of Steven’s selflessness is Lars presenting the upside of his selfishness. It might not be brave to run away, and Lars might only be on the ship in the first place because he ran away, but he’s right: if Steven doesn’t want to be punished for his mother’s mistakes, he shouldn’t have to be. It might be the easy way out, but we just saw Steven praise Lars��s ability to cut through the BS and find the truth, and here we see a prime example. And for just a second, Steven thinks about it.

But then Aquamarine barges in, because Steven isn’t allowed to learn his lesson quite yet. In the same way corruption is the Diamonds’ greatest sin, attacking many of their own troops to spite their foes, this is perhaps Aquamarine at her worst: it’s one thing to bully your enemies, but cruelty to a partner is a step beyond. Contrast has defined Topaz and Aquamarine from the moment we saw their shadows, and this is the final stage. We already knew one was big and the other was small, one was quiet and the other was chatty, but both acted as a single front with different but united antagonism. Now one is an ally and the other is an opponent, one is cute and the other is vicious, and while Topaz might have the upper hand in a physical fight and the heart to do the right thing, Aquamarine only needs her words and her ruthlessness to win the day.

This is the last we’ll see of Topaz and Aquamarine until the time jump, and it’s surprisingly brutal. We got a test-run of this story with Holly Blue Agate, another cerulean tyrant dominating a larger, friendlier force (this time in terms of size as well as numbers), and it ended with our new friends overcoming their oppressor. Not this time. Aquamarine emerges victorious, while Topaz splits up and slumps away in defeat, and that’s it until Steven Universe Future gives the latter a happy ending at Little Homeschool and the former a new role as Team Rocket villain.

Topaz getting her brief burst of joy snatched away sets the mood for our Homeworld adventure. We’ve long known that the Crystal Gems are a stubborn group of rocks, but at least they have the freedom to change if they wish. Homeworld Gem stubbornness is reinforced by a society that persecutes anyone that doesn’t fall in line, from the outcast Off Colors to the Diamonds themselves. 

But the mood of this arc is also set by Lars, because like the ending of Stuck Together, this is a story about Lars being taken away from Steven. But it’s also a story where Steven helps Lars change, and with change comes a glimmer of hope.

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

A great showcase for Steven and Lars, and a great coda for Aquamarine and Topaz. There’s not quite enough going on for it to make my favorites list, but it’s up there.

Top Twenty-Five

Steven and the Stevens

Hit the Diamond

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

Last One Out of Beach City

The Return

Jailbreak

The Answer

Mindful Education

Sworn to the Sword

Rose’s Scabbard

Earthlings

Mr. Greg

Coach Steven

Giant Woman

Beach City Drift

Winter Forecast

Bismuth

Steven’s Dream

When It Rains

The Good Lars

Catch and Release

Chille Tid

I Am My Mom

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Ocean Gem

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

Warp Tour

The Test

Future Vision

On the Run

Maximum Capacity

Marble Madness

Political Power

Full Disclosure

Joy Ride

Keeping It Together

We Need to Talk

Cry for Help

Keystone Motel

Back to the Barn

Steven’s Birthday

It Could’ve Been Great

Message Received

Log Date 7 15 2

Same Old World

The New Lars

Monster Reunion

Alone at Sea

Crack the Whip

Beta

Back to the Moon

Kindergarten Kid

Buddy’s Book

Gem Harvest

Three Gems and a Baby

That Will Be All

The New Crystal Gems

Storm in the Room

Room for Ruby

Lion 4: Alternate Ending

Doug Out

Are You My Dad?

Stuck Together

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

The Message

Open Book

Story for Steven

Shirt Club

Love Letters

Reformed

Rising Tides, Crashing Tides

Onion Friend

Historical Friction

Friend Ship

Nightmare Hospital

Too Far

Barn Mates

Steven Floats

Drop Beat Dad

Too Short to Ride

Restaurant Wars

Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service

Greg the Babysitter

Gem Hunt

Steven vs. Amethyst

Bubbled

Adventures in Light Distortion

Gem Heist

The Zoo

Rocknaldo

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

Say Uncle

Super Watermelon Island

Gem Drill

Know Your Fusion

Future Boy Zoltron

Tiger Philanthropist

No Thanks!

     6. Horror Club      5. Fusion Cuisine      4. House Guest      3. Onion Gang      2. Sadie’s Song      1. Island Adventure

(No promo art for this one, so I went with Jastea’s gorgeous take on Topaz.)

[skyfallensoldier]

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DISCLAIMER: I just want to note here at the beginning that while I am considering this RP blog to be historically based, i.e. remaining true to the time period and overall details of John Laurens' biographical information and whatnot, I do not consider myself a historically accurate blog, not entirely. Historical fiction is a well known genre of literature and many, MANY creative liberties are taken within that genre. Think of this blog like you would if you saw an Anastasia Romanov blog. She's dead, we know she didn't survive, and she's been dead a long-ass time; so has Laurens. People still have included her in many works of fiction, even after her body was identified and it was proven she did not survive her family's massacre. I saw a romance book a couple of months ago where she survived that was recently published. Historical fiction, while a controversial thing at times, is a legitimate form of literature.

You don't have to tell me if you think John isn't acting exactly like the real man himself would have, I know that. I'm not going to call John my 'perfect sunshine boy cinnamon roll' or dismiss the privilege he was raised on due to his father, I'm aware he was a real person who had his own personality, virtues and prejudices. I won't deny that while he was certainly a progressive thinking man for the time he grew up in he definitely still had racist thoughts and actions that were indicative of his upbringing. But I'm not on here to debate modern, real life politics, or get into arguments about whether he was a good abolitionist or not. At the end of the day, this is still a hobby for me, and I'm writing for fun.

Basically, don't take it too seriously. I'm a 21st century bisexual woman writing from the POV of an 18th century (likely gay) male soldier, the way I write him is obviously not going to be a perfect representation of who he was. I know he wasn't an amazing, perfect person, but I've still chosen to write a fictionalized version of him for my own entertainment. Please try to respect that; thank you.

Mun Stuff

Name: Luna Gender: Female (She/Her or They/Them) D.o.B: July 23rd, 1996 Age: 24 Nationality: Canadian Sexuality: Bisexual Timezone: Eastern Time (US & Canada) Activity: Daily BIOGRAPHY (SORT OF)

Hello, there! You can call me Luna! I've been interested in writing ever since I first got the internet when I was 14 and discovered FanFiction.Net and now I'm an aspiring author and Roleplay enthusiast. If you include acting/talking out DnD like games with friends then I've been 'roleplaying' since the fifth grade, but I like to think there's always room for improvement. If you ever want to chat I'd love to make a new friend or plot out a roleplay, so don't be afraid to shoot me an ask or send me a private message. Just because my muse can be a jackass doesn't mean I am! I’m a huge advocate for mental health, and if you ever need someone to talk to, please don’t ever hesitate to reach out! Some of my hobbies including literature and writing (of course), digging into mythology from various cultures, practicing solitary eclectic paganism/new age spirituality, drinking tea, and collecting crystals/minerals.

Please note that for the sake of disclosure, I am considered ‘Neurodivergent’, in that I suffer from ADHD, diagnosed at about age six, and have Anxiety and Depression which are directly tied to it. This doesn’t often effect my life on here, but I sometimes have an unpredictable sleep schedule (stay up all night, sleep in late into the morning, etc). I’m usually quick to reply to threads for the most part! I work every Tuesday and Thursday from 5pm to 7pm in addition to odd jobs here and there, during which time I won’t have access to the Internet. The rest of the week I’m on and off all day basically, so you can feel free to contact me any time.

RP Style

⭐️ Please use basic spelling/grammar/punctuation when you RP with me. I'm not a drill sergeant about these kinds of things, I know that typos happen, and if you have a vision problem or such we can absolutely find a way to work around that, I also have no problem roleplaying with people whose first language is not English, so that's totally fine and I’m happy to accomodate in whatever way I can, but it does make it a little difficult to play with you if I don't know what you're trying to say. For this reason I prefer if you not use any text shorthand (lol, idk, brb, jk, etc) unless our muses are messaging each other. Using it in the tags is fine.

⭐️ I roleplay Laurens in a past-tense 3rd Person Point of View (think story-telling format), and generally I don't use icons or text formatting unless I notice my partner does, then I will try to match their style (for example if you use icons and small-text, I will try to do the same, though because formatting isn't possible on mobile, any mobile replies might take longer to be posted than if I were on my laptop). If you have any issues with how I'm writing or need me to adjust my style for any reason don't be afraid to ask.

Contact

⭐️ If you spam me with messages over and over again about something I haven't replied to, chances are I'll drop the thread. I don't mind being reminded because I know Tumblr's notifications are notoriously unreliable sometimes, and humans can forget/lose things, but if you keep poking at me after I've acknowledged you the first and second time, I won't be pleased. Things can get busy on here, or in real life, or sometimes you're just lacking muse for that particular thread, y'know? It doesn't mean I hate you and don't want to RP, I'm almost always up for plotting, but muse tends to fluctuate.

⭐️ My ‘Discord’ is available to mutuals upon request. I don't mind roleplaying on there if Tumblr is being glitchy or you're just not feeling up to formatted/heavily plotted threads, sometimes Discord is fun in that you can do immediate replies without needing the effort of putting icons and formatting into it. I also have a Kik but I never use it. I don't RP in Tumblr's IMs, that's purely for OOC interaction.

⭐️ I also occasionally stream movies/TV shows in group chats or play “in character” Cards Against Humanity game nights, Among Us, etc. If you’re interested, lemme know, I’m always looking for more people to hang out with!

Important

I have no actual triggers that I'm aware of, although snakes do creep me out (mostly shots of them coiled up or images of their pupils), but there are some things I will not roleplay personally for comfort reasons:

⭐️ Cannibalism. You can mention it, for example I won't freak out if someone tells my muse that somebody else ate a person (he might, assuming its not a Supernatural type verse), but I won't RP him engaging in cannibalism, not even in AUs (blood-drinking vampires are fine). I'm just not sure I could stomach writing about eating people. I managed to watch Hannibal, barely, but writing about it? Nah. I can handle lots of horror, gore and disturbing content but not this. Sorry.

⭐ Incest/Pedophilia. I do not SEXUALLY ship with characters under the age of 18. John is not attracted to children, and would never consider sleeping with someone much younger than him.

⭐ I will not write anything sexual with muns who are under 18 years old, even if your muse is an adult. I'll still ROLEPLAY with you if you are under 18 but probably no younger than 16 just because things tend to get explicit on my blogs and I don't want to be accused of corrupting the youth with my foul language and weird opinions, lol. Seriously though, this blog covers a lot of dark subjects and while I’m all for minors exploring that safely through writing rather than in real life, some people aren’t comfortable with interacting with under age people for legal or personal reasons, please respect that.

⭐ Necrophilia. Just... no. Vampire threads don't count, as they're undead and not 'dead dead'.

⭐ Rape. I won't write it with you. I'm okay with mentions of rape, with rape/sexual assault survivor/recovery plots, and even with one character intervening to rescue another from an attempted sexual assault (if an attempted assault does occur, it will be thoroughly tagged and under a cut). I'm fully open to discussing rape recovery/trauma plots as those are things that happen in real life, and it can be interesting to explore how a character reacts to trauma. But anything else is a no-go, sorry!

⭐ Please be aware that I write Laurens as a gay man. However! Because of the time period, violent homophobia and social stigma, he has slept with women before and may be seen flirting with or referencing relationships with women in the past. He is still gay, and still uninterested in being with women long term, he's simply closeted to all but a few individuals. So, unless your muse is Martha Manning (who Laurens DOES love in a manner, and he always will), shipping with female characters on here most likely isn't going to happen unless it's heavily plotted/developed and part of an overall plot, and you understand that it will not be a conventional sexual relationship. I'm sorry if that disappoints you but I've read Laurens as a gay male for so long I have trouble seeing him any other way.

⭐ I will not roleplay slavery plots. This is not up for debate. Roleplaying a highly fictionalized version of a long dead real person who existed during a troubling time is one thing, but I draw the line at that. For this reason, while I'll happily play with non-white muses, muses using non white faceclaims, and crossovers with characters of all sorts, I'll have to decline playing with any muse claiming to actually be writing slavery. There’s a difference between, say, roleplaying a character like Daenerys, a fictional character who was technically a slave-bride sold by her brother, and writing actual slavery from a very real, horrible time period. Slave ownership will of course be mentioned on this blog, that's unavoidable, but just like the mention of rape may happen on this blog from time to time, it will be in reference to a past event or speaking about the subject in general, not roleplaying a scene of it. Please respect this rule, I was hesitant to make this blog at first, because I know it makes some people uncomfortable, but I won't glorify such a horrible real thing that happened to so many people.

Exclusives/Mains

Just a head's up, unless I develop a bunch of chemistry with a particular portrayal of a muse I'm not likely to agree to being exclusives with anyone, unless perhaps it's a very niche or divergent character that has formed a good relationship of some sort with John and I'd have trouble interacting with other versions of that muse. For major characters I just feel it would be unfair to say no to someone who I click with in every other way, solely because I have already befriended someone else writing that character.

I will, however, discuss becoming mains with someone whom I've either developed or plotted out detailed storylines/interactions with regarding our specific portrayals of our characters. This means that I tend to reply to them quickly when I'm online, or may make little gifts (moodboards, aesthetic things, mini ficlets, whatever) for them unprompted, have a verse dedicated just to them, etc. Even if it seems like we haven't done much on Tumblr, there may be a lot of off-site development on Discord or whatnot that led to us plotting out intricate stories for our muses.

Current Mains:

Alexander Hamilton - @quillborn​

DO

⭐️ Send private messages.

⭐️ Send my character asks/starters/memes.

⭐️ Tag me in things.

⭐️ Ask to plot or ship.

⭐️ Ask for angst, fluff, etc.

⭐️ Submit things to me & my muse.

⭐️ Do crack and other ridiculous things with me!

⭐️ Like my RP threads.

⭐️ Like my personal posts.

⭐️ Comment on my personal/OOC posts (if you want to).

⭐️ Comment on my crack threads.

⭐️ Instant Message (IM) me if you'd like to talk, whether we're friends already or not!

DON'T

⭐️ Send hateful messages to me about other people and especially my mutuals; doesn't count if it's about the muse and not the person playing them, however. Also, if I’ve got beef with someone for whatever reason, don’t harass them/send hate to them on my behalf, please. I don’t condone anonymous abuse, attacking others, or harassment. I’m a big girl and I can take care of myself, I promise.

⭐️ Introduce yourself with ‘wanna ship?’ For one, I prefer if we’ve at least started a roleplay together, or have spoken OOC. Auto shipping doesn’t always work out and I hate promising people something only to realize there’s zero chemistry, because then I feel like I’m letting them down.

⭐️ Come into my inbox with just ‘wanna rp?’ and that’s it. Please at least have some idea of what you want to roleplay, it’s not very fun when someone approaches you to RP but then doesn’t offer up any suggestions at all. Remember, you are always free to send me memes, whether we’re mutuals or not, and hit me up for whatever plot you think might interest me! I want to hear about it!

⭐️ Spam me with "reminder" messages if I've already acknowledged you the first few times.

⭐️ Reblog my RP threads if you're not a participant in them.

⭐️ Send me anonymous OOC hate. Hate for Laurens is fine, it's just another form of roleplay.

⭐️ Kill off my character or severely injure/maim my character without permission or having plotted something involving that with me first.

⭐️ Follow me if you're a porn blog. I don't mind blogs that post NSFW content, or smut a lot, etc. I mean blogs that aren't for RP and are literally just a normal looking blog until you click on it and the header and first twenty posts are hardcore nudity and porn. I hate those things.

⭐️ Shame my ships.

⭐️ Complain about my tagging. I put my smut under a 'read more' without exception and tag them as "NSFW //" with two dashes. Things that are not necessarily graphic but still have sexual undertones go under "Suggestive //". I use these tags to avoid attracting attention from porn blogs and porn bots that track certain key words, as such I do not tag my content with "Smut" or trigger words such as "dick, oral, anal, nudity, etc", please block my NSFW and Suggestive tags if you're uncomfortable. Triggery subjects (mentions of rape, animal abuse, torture, mental illness) will be tagged under the name of said trigger with a space and two dashes, example: "Self Harm //", “Suicidal Ideation //” or "PTSD //".

⭐️ Godmod my character. If you’re not sure what is/isn’t okay, come talk to me! I don’t bite! If you’re looking for an example of god mod behavior, here: “X lunged at Laurens, taking him by surprise, and hit him square in the nose, causing blood to spurt.” It might not seem like a big deal but it means that you decided how your character’s actions affected my muse, and not only that, didn’t give him a chance to dodge or anything. Not cool.

⭐️ Ship with me without permission (sending in shippy asks is A-Ok if you're interested in exploring a ship between our muses, I'm talking about things like claiming that our muses are in a relationship without discussing it with me, referencing dates or sexual acts that never happened, etc. I ship mainly with chemistry otherwise things get boring fast.

⭐️ Assume/act like our characters know each other/are closely connected (friends/family/lovers) if we've never discussed it unless it is established in canon/history. This especially goes for original characters. I'm open to Laurens forming deep relationships with OCs obviously, but those have to be developed in character, not just assumed from the first interaction.

⭐️ Attempt to roleplay with me if you are not a roleplay blog/or if you're just trying to RP as "yourself." I don't do Character X Reader imagines stuff. I don't RP with 'fan' accounts, only RP blogs. You can still send asks so long as you're not trying to initiate an RP scenario. For example, asking Laurens what his hobbies are, asking for a blessing etc? That's fine. Spamming me with different actions "you" are talking to Laurens is weird. Stop that. I will also not RP with blogs that claim to roleplay as real life people, such as Markiplier, that's super creepy. This does NOT apply to "historical fiction" roleplay (obviously since that's what this blog is), which is considered its own genre of literature. I'm talking about the above where people will 'roleplay' as real life, currently alive people like YouTube celebrities and ship them with their friends, even if they've made it clear that they're uncomfortable with it. 

⭐️ Get angry at me for doing something you don't like if you don't even have a rules page for me to go by. It's not fair; you can't expect your partners to just read your mind and magically know how you feel. If something bothers you let me know, I’ll make a note about it so I avoid it during our interactions!

⭐️ Use me as a meme resource blog without ever interacting with me. I don't require "reblog karma" for you to follow me, partners are more than welcome to reblog from me, but if we never interact and I just occasionally see you reblog fifteen posts from my meme tag and then disappear again I'm not gonna be happy. Go to the source or to an archived blog no longer getting notifications, please!

⭐️ Reblog my Meta/Headcanons. If they're from a different blog it's fine but the ones I've personally written are for MY portrayal of Laurens. I work hard on most of my stuff and I'd prefer if you didn't reblog it, not because you aren't allowed to have the same headcanon ideas as me, but because then it ends up getting liked or reblogged by lots of other people, spamming my notifications, etc.

OCs & Multimuses

I love OCs and multi-muse blogs (I have my own multimuse sideblog over at @historyremembers, which has other 18th century characters including the Hamilton children and some OCs), so feel free to interact! That being said, please have an about page of some sort on your blog. I can't follow back blogs that have absolutely no information available regarding their character(s). I don't RP with OC children of Laurens. This is nothing personal, but I'm fairly certain he was gay in real life and prefer to play him that way, and he only had one child - who he never even got to meet - in real life, so it just wouldn't make sense to me for him to have other kids running around unless he'd adopted some. If you're a multimuse, I may not follow you back if I'm only familiar with two of your muses if you have a blog of fifteen characters, simply because I'd prefer to keep my dash clean and only have characters/fandoms I'm familiar with on it. I'll still RP with you if you have a character I'm interested in! I just might not follow back if the majority of your characters I do not know, I apologize for this.

If you’ve made it to the end of this, congrats! I know it couldn’t be easy (my ADHD brain was frustrated trying to just write all this up) but it’s necessary so there’s not misunderstandings on what I am/am not willing to RP. I won’t ask for a password since I trust most people to have the courtesy to at least skim the rules of those they want to RP with. 

Have a nice day!