#chase becomes dept head

[russkayas]

hey was no one gonna tell me about the moment when thirteen shows up and tells house “the prodigal daughter has returned” or was i just supposed to find out about that myself 😭

[brownflower23]

Edge

Spencer Reid x Y/N

*Explicit Content Warning*

Y/N paced slowly along the living room floor biting along her lip in deep thought, a fantasy, actually. Fantasizing of something she had been wanting to ask Spencer all day. She didn't know why she felt so hesitant to ask him, because Spencer never made her feel ashamed of her desires. In fact, Spencer, being more experienced loved to show her the depts he could take her. One thing Spencer did not expect, is taking her to those depts over the year of their relationship would awake a sleeping giant inside her. An insatiable hunger, that consumed her, turning his sweet innocent girlfriend into a fiend for his touch.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Spencer's smooth voice brought her back from her fantasy, making her still, looking over to him sitting at his desk across the room. He still stared down at the book resting in his hand, which had kept his attention from her for the last hour. "What do you mean?" Y/N asked softly. "You only pace when you're nervous." He points out, turning the page in his book delicately. She feels the blush rising to her cheeks, building the courage to ask him.

"I'm...Do you know what edging is?" Y/N finally blurts, causing Spencer to finally look up from his novel. He wears a small smirk, an almost cocky glint to his honey eyes. "Yes, why do you ask?" He questions back, intrigued by her initial question. He watched her fiddle with the edge of her skirt, blushing adorably trying to keep her eyes on his. "I want to try it." She proclaims clearly with impressive confidence.

She had Spencer's full attention now, watching him slowly fold the book close, and lifting his eyebrow in surprise at his girlfriend. "Are you sure? It can be intense." Spencer cautions, setting the book down on the desk. "Yes, I'm sure, please?" Y/N pleads, pouting her lips as she always did to draw Spencer in. A deep sigh left his chest, contemplating what Y/N wanted. His eyes narrowed at hers, trying to read her, looking for any hesitancy before he spoke. "Go take your clothes off and wait at the end of the bed for me."

Spencer's order made her core throb, imagining what he was about to do to her. She only nodded before hurrying to their bedroom to follow his instructions. He gave her a couple of minutes to get undressed, plus a couple more just to let her own anticipation tease her. Once he did walk to their bedroom, he found her just as he instructed, perched on the end of the mattress naked, all for him.

She looks up at him with big excited eyes, smiling seeing him lean against the doorframe. "Open your legs kitten" Spencer calmly speaks, making her swallow hard before slowly spreading herself for him. Even from the doorway, he would see the glistening mess already forming between her legs just at the thought of him, making him smile devilishly.

Y/N was beautiful, every curve and imperfection amazed Spencer. He didn't think a person could be perfect before meeting Y/N, but she never failed to take his breath away. Feeling his own desire hardening in his shorts, he had to remind himself to stay focused on the task at hand.

"Perfect, now rub your pretty little clit until I say stop." Her face frowns in confusion, she wanted Spencer to edge her, not herself. "But I thought you-" She begins to question his command, but Spencer's eyes silence her. That look he gave her when she was misbehaving, begging to be punished. She knew better than to question him, so she did as told.

A small whine left Y/N's lips when she touched between her folds, feeling her arousal coat her fingertips. She wedged her opposite arm behind her to keep balance, slowly circling her crest as Spencer said. Spencer followed her motions carefully with lust-filled eyes, making her feel embarrassed, desired, sexy, and vulnerable all at once. It was a thrill, one that she loved to chase.

"Eyes on me, Kitten." Spencer coys as her head fell back, becoming lost in the rush. She looks back to him, breathing heavily now as her core fluttered for more. Her hips roll against her hand, chasing after release, craving Spencers touch. "Please, Spencer." Y/N moans out, seeing the tent forming in his shorts. He stands straight, taking a few steps before reaching the bed, kneeling before her.

Spencer keeps his eyes on her as he reaches under each corner of the bed, retrieving restraints. "I just want you to remember you asked for this." Spencer groans yanking her legs wider to secure the leather cuffs. Her eyes gleamed with excitement seeing what he had done, making her balance at the very edge of the mattress as he tightened the leg restraints.

"I want it, please Sir." She begs still working her clit, feeling herself building close to climax. Spencer stands back in front of her, pulling his t-shirt over his head. Y/N eyes flutter trying to remain open as she looks over his soft-toned chest and torso. Gosh, he's gorgeous is the last thing she thinks before her stomach coils, making her gasp.

"Stop" Spencer booms, making her jump from her skin. She retracts her hand reluctantly, wanting to close her legs to stop the burning ache, understanding now why he restrained her. "Fuck." Y/N whines, closing her eyes to stop her legs from shaking. "Oh that's just one baby, it gets much better trust me." Spencer laughs watching her reaction. Once her eyes open again, she sees him walking back toward the bed, sliding the small corner chair across from her.

Spencer cupped her face, stroking over her cheek tenderly as she took another deep breath. Leaning into her, he ghosts his lips over hers shifting to her ear. "It's going to get more intense each time, okay. You remember your safe word?" Spencer hums making sure she knows what to expect. "Yes" Y/N confirms, shifting anxiously. "Yes?" Spencer snaps, gripping her jaw tighter. "Yes, Sir" She corrects shuttering at his voice. "Good girl." Spencer praises before attacking Y/N neck, sucking and licking at the sensitive skin.

Her body jolts as Spencer finally draped his skilled fingers against her pussy, hypersensitive from her fingers before. Y/N clutches his shoulders, staring at him with heavy eyelids as he rubbed her slick folds. He knew it wouldn't be long until she was shaking again, on the verge of cumming.

"Is my little girl about to cum?" Spencer chuckled, rubbing faster making her speechless only able to nod. The warm rush filled her body, just short of reaching her core when Spencer slipped his hand away. Y/N fell against his shoulder, sounding a loud sigh of frustration.

Spencer held her for a minute until she could sit back straight, sweat starting to form on her brow. Y/N couldn't decide if she regretted asking Spencer to edge her yet, as her legs burned and her pussy ached for release. She wasn't given the time to decide due to Spencer sliding two fingers into her, causing her to cry out, him feeling her body clenching around his fingers desperately.

"Spence- I can't." Y/N coughed. Although; her body acted opposite of her words, grinding along Spencer's fingers wildly. "Yes, you can kitten, look how you're practically bouncing on my fingers." He breathed, using his other hand to tilt her head down to watch his long fingers sink into her. "You see that? My perfect girl, your pretty little cunt dripping all over my hand. Fuck, you're beautiful like this." She moans loud at his praise, overflowing emotions causing tears to build in her eyes.

Spencer was feral, his eyes clouded over, becoming more lost in the game he loved so much. Only focused on her and how he made her body react, wanting to drain every drop of her essence.

Moving his hand to frame her jaw yanking her to look at him, while continuing to curl his fingers deeper, feeding off of her moans and whimpers. "Please Sir, I need- shit... I'm gonna cum." Y/N eyes go wide stuck to Spencer's, biting his lips watching her melt further into his hands. "Not until I say you are" Spencer growls abruptly removing both hands. Y/N head falls back, gasping air feeling the dull burning spread over her whole body. Her eyes flutter close, feeling drained from Spencer's torture. Closing her eyes was a mistake because she didn't see what Spencer was about to do.

"Ah fuck!" Y/N screams releasing all the air from her lungs, her whole body jerking against the restraint. She looks down to see a vibrator wand pressed firmly to her clit, her mouth gaping from the overload of pleasure. Then to Spencer's face, a wicked smile taking over his features. Y/N vision goes blurry before her eyes roll into her head, unable to control how her body convulsed.

"Is this what my naughty little girl wants, huh? I didn't even have to punish you, you greedy, greedy girl." Spencer whispers, supporting her while keeping the vibrator in place. Y/N tried to speak, tried to beg for release as she felt the familiar wave hitting her again, but couldn't get the words to form. Luckily, Spencer knew her better than she knew herself.

"Cum for me Y/N, show me how good I make you feel." Spencer finally gives permission, but not without turning up the strength of the vibrator to make her scream. Y/N gushed onto the cover, experiencing one of the strongest orgasms of her life, crying Spencers name as she shook.

Spencer turned off the toy, watching the last of the orgasm wash from Y/N. Spencer loved seeing her like this, the way her body nearly glowed after he pleased her. Although, this time when he looked into her eyes, it was different.

"Y/N" Spencer calls, she doesn't respond, only continues to stare, not at him but through him. Spencer jumps from his seak, making it flip from his urgent movement. He rushed to unclasp her legs, catching her as she slides from the bed. Panic filled Spencer as he carried her to the center of the bed, laying her down gently.

"I'm right here baby, just breathe." Spencer talks softly, cuddling against her limp body. Guilt filled his mind looking at his love, fearing he pushed her too far.  Y/N took in shallow breaths staring at the ceiling, feeling like her body was floating. A silent tear streamed down her face, which Spencer immediately wiped, and then covered them in a warm blanket.

"I-I need..." Y/N tried to mutter but Spencer put a finger to her lips. "I know kitten I'm right here." He whispered shifting her tighter into his chest spooning her body to his. She couldn't stop more tears falling from her eyes, clouded with so many emotions. She didn't know why, but she just needed him.

"Don't cry, you were so good kitten. I'm so sorry, I went too far." Spencer continues to comfort her, stroking her hair as she evened her breathing. "Closer." Her weak voice whispers to Spencer. He paused in confusion because he already cuddled her as close as possible. "What do you want closer?" A faint whine left her as she wiggled her body against his.

"You... Need to feel you." She manages to answer making Spencer understand. Spencer reaches between their bodies, taking his dick from his shorts and resting himself against her pussy, letting her move onto him at her pace. She moaned softly at the full feeling, gripping Spencer's arms as her walls warmed him. Spencer groaned lowly, struggling not to move against her with how amazing she always felt, but he needed to take care of her right now.

"Is that better baby?" Spencer asks. Y/N nods closing her eyes, listening to Spencer's heartbeat to calm herself. After a few minutes, Spencer feels her hips begin to rock slowly, her gasping silently at the feeling.  

"Kitten, what are you doing?" He groans, using his hand to stop her movement. "I want to make you feel good." Y/N says still facing away from him. "You don't need to do that, you always make me feel good. Okay?" Spencer tries to convince her, but her voice broke him. "Please?" It sounded so weak but angelic at the same time, he clenched his eyes for a moment knowing he would give into her.

He moved his arm to wrap around her waist, then slowly pushed into her pussy again, setting a slow pace so she didn't have to move. Moans and whimpers began falling from both of them, letting the close feeling overtake them. Spencer never sped up but continued to love her body, massaging over her breast gently as he did.

It was as their bodies became one, shifting in sync until they were both panting softly from the pleasure. "I want you to cum too, Spencer." Y/N announced, feeling Spencer pulsing inside her. "I don't have to baby, I promise I'm okay." Spencer countered. "Please." She whimpers reaching back to touch his face.

"Fuck, you're so perfect Kitten." Spencer groans, gripping her a little tighter to shift deeper. Kissing along her neck, Spencer closed his eyes chasing his release. Letting the slow, deep strokes pull him to the edge, listening to her increasing moans.

"Are you going to cum with me, baby?" Spencer pants feeling her body tightening around him. She nods frantically scratching into the arm steadying her, as they both orgasm around each other.

"I love you, Spencer." Y/N whispers smiling in bliss. "I love you more, Y/N."

[jd-loves-fiction]

➤”I’d like one order of Mando adventure angst with a side of fluff and a dash of spicy bickering. Enemies to lovers or friends to lovers flavor (whatever’s on the house) and a nice hot bowl of ‘there was only one bed’

Give my compliments to the chef”

➤ genre: Fluff, Adventure, Comedy(?), Enemies to Partners, Angst

➤ wc: 4.9k (holy shit might be my longest request🥴)

➤ 🌙 Requested: @batarella ❤

"Listen, buddy, I got here first." You attempt to reason with the wall of beskar currently pointing his blaster directly at you.

Maybe not the smartest thing to say when first meeting someone of his reputation, but he can only be doing this for one reason. 

He's after the bounty squirming nervously at your feet. And you're in the way.

Why else would he be out here, in the middle of a rocky desert on some faraway planet?

"Step away from him." The voice you hear startles you with its modulated dept. It's more surprising that he even spoke at all, given what you'd heard of the Mandalorian. Although his stature and the silent tension he brings with him is no doubt intimidating, you will not give up so easily after following this bounty so far out from the nearest town. “No.”

His visor tilts to the side, like a frustrated twitch, at your answer. “Maybe.” You rectify, which makes him raise his head in interest. “Do you have a fob?”

“No, I don’t.”

Not that it matters anymore considering yours is broken, but at least now you know he can't follow you if you make a break for it with the bounty. 

“How did you find us?”

“I have my ways.” You nearly roll your eyes at his cryptic response, not like you expected anything else from a Mandalorian.

“Do you know why they sent you?” Knowing your employers, you had a clue on what the reason was. They got impatient.

They’d been pretty determined to get a maximum time needed out of you. You’re almost sure you overstepped it.

But to send a Mandalorian? Seems like a bit much.

“They were afraid you’d run off. That you gave the bounty away to the Resistance.” Of course, those bastards can barely trust themselves, let alone a foreigner.

“Well I didn't, and I won't. So you can lower your blaster and we can do this together.” You offer amicably, not yet loosening your grip on your weapon upon his lack of movement.

“You’re out of time. Your deal is off.”

“That’s just-!” You're cut off by a shot buzzing past you.

"Last warning."

Your jaw drops. How can someone be so damn cold?

You raise your finger assertively, about to give him a piece of your mind, when you notice something move by his hip.

And it's green. With gigantic ears. And huge dark eyes that blink at you curiously.

Your head tilts, mirroring the creature. The Mandalorian follows your eyes to find you looking at the child he’s supposed to be caring for.

“Huh. And who is that cutie?” The blaster already pointed at you raises from where it had begun to slouch, alert and cautious. Noticing this, you readjust your grip on your own weapon.

You and the creature continue to study each other, until the Mandalorian pushes the brown bag to where it rests behind his body protectively.

“Are they yours? I mean, doesn't look like the ears would fit.” You speak just to make conversation, stepping closer with miniscule steps. His gloved hand tightens around his blaster, hoping to remind you that he can still shoot you point-blank.

But he hasn't.

"Can you really do much in front of a kid?" You challenge smugly, still advancing slowly. 

"He's seen me do worse."

"That right?" Another step. "You planning to shoot me today or would tomorrow work better?"

"Are you always this difficult? Just put the gun down-"

You jump towards him, hooking your foot around the back of his knee which makes him fall to the rocky ground immediately, dropping his blaster. Unfortunately, taking down a Mandalorian is no easy task, so he takes you down with him.

He throws his satchel to the side in the nick of time, it lands on a sand pile. His other arm grabs hold of you to pull you down with him.

You point your blaster at him as he lays beneath you, except it is no longer in your hand. Shit. He punches you in the face hard enough that something will turn black soon enough.

As you fall to the ground he gets on top of you, or tries, as you place your feet against his firm chest to keep some distance. You kick him in the helmet, silently thanking the stars your shoes are steel toed.

Your hand only scrapes against dry, red, sand covered rock as you search for a blaster, either would serve. Despite your momentary advantage in light of the Mandalorian’s confusion after being kicked, his hands quickly come down to cover your throat. You feel the creases in the leather as they’re pressed against your skin, and the beskar over the back of his hands against your chin.

But you still attempt to reach a weapon, a rock would do at this point.

Your arms flail wildly with no real direction, only the need to stay conscious, as if movement would help it. You do, however, notice that he’s purposely avoiding your traquia.

He still does not want to kill you. How sweet. Probably just wants to take you back to the bastards who hired you. They’d surely kill you, and much faster too.

Just as the spots in your vision start becoming overpowering, his grip loosens. You inhale greedily, desperately, gasping and coughing at the released pressure. 

You can see his visor move to and fro, searching for something. Once you look to the side, you the child safe in its pile of sand, so it can't be that. 

"Dank farrik! He's gone." The bounty. Right. Shit. 

"Now," you pause, heaving as your lungs struggle to fill up again, "what?"

He places his hands on his hips, thinking for a moment, before turning his visor to where you lay clutching your sore - but not yet bruised - neck. "I'm going after him."

"I'm sorry-?!" You cut yourself off with a cough as you sit up, feeling grains of sand make their way inside your boots and other places. "You're going after him? This is my bounty! I had him, and I would've been fine if you hadn't shown up."

He keeps his stance, probably glaring disapprovingly beneath his helmet. You huff at his unyielding silence, getting up in his personal space and jabbing a finger into his chest plate.

"I'm about to give you a piece of my mind, so you better listen very carefully. I had it! It was my catch. And from what I can tell, it still is. So you better back off, Mando." Venom drips from your lips as you glare at the tin can on his head as if you could put a hole straight through it.

He relaxes, raising his hands again peacefully, palms up, "Alright, I get it. But do you think they'd take him from you now? Let alone later when you actually catch him? They seem pretty vindictive."

"Well, what do you suggest? You're not going on your own."

"And why not?" He scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest as he leans towards you.

"You don't have a tracking fob." You retort, leaning towards him as well with your hands on your hips.

The Mandalorian pats himself down where he believes to have stored the small device, only to find all those pockets empty. "You little thief!"

"And you're a liar! Plus, you think I'd just let you take my credits? Come on, with your reputation, you should know better than that." You shrug and suddenly Din is acutely aware that the beeping now comes from your hip instead of his.

"Alright, fine, let's do it this way. We'll look for him together and once we catch him, I'll hand him in and we'll split the reward." He explains slowly, carefully, afraid to set you off. 

"Seems good to me." You speak resolutely, thrusting your hand forward firmly, expecting a handshake. 

His helmet tilts down slightly as he looks down at your hand, before he reaches out with his own. Just as the leather meets your skin - in a now less life-threatening way - a coo sounds from somewhere at your feet, making you both look down to see the little green creature looking between the two of you curiously.

You look back at it, mirroring it once more, before it smiles wide revealing its tiny little teeth and, oh, your heart might just actually melt. 

It's large eyes move down from your face, towards your hands.

You suddenly realize neither you nor the Mandalorian had let go of each other's hand and that a large grin has formed on your face due to the adorable baby. It is promptly wiped off as you pull your hand back just as he does. He looks away while you shrug at the child's inquisitive stare, unaware that the bounty hunter had been watching you and marveling at the bond you'd both formed already.

And so you set out together to look for your target, back towards town, where you had begun your chase.

He can't have gone far or in any other direction, not with the unbearable heat and certainly not while handcuffed. He'd die for sure, you just have to hope he's smart enough to know that. 

You walk through town with the fob in your hand, just out of sight. No need for unnecessary attention. The town is tightly crowded, much to your chagrin, so you move slow and are barely able to see over the moving bodies. There’s just too much going on, too many people moving back and forth, shoving past you rudely. If it’d been anyone else - not an experienced bounty hunter - you would have probably been knocked down by the last two men that had scurried past you in a rush.

Without warning, you feel a hand grip your bicep. You immediately ready yourself for a fight, before you realize it belongs to your associate. Once he has your attention, Mando nods towards the edge to the street, against red stone buildings, urging you to follow him. You do, nudging anyone out of the way as you walked against the crowd’s stream.

You’re about to shout over the noise to ask just what the hell he pulled you aside for, considering you’re running out of time, before you follow his visor. Right to a wanted poster of a very familiar scoundrel. From the Resistance? Wanted alive for 8,000 credits?

“That’s one big fish, huh?" You continue to shout in order to be heard over the crowd, which you immediately regret, looking around, paranoid. "Must be important." You comment to yourself. 

You look up to see the Mandalorian's back disappear behind the corner. You quickly follow, catching up to his long strides, "What are you thinking?"

He ignores your inquiry, continuing to practically stomp his way through town. "Hey. Hey!" You call out to no avail. Well, you asked for it.

You reach out, grabbing the man by the back of his cape, tightening it around his neck and making it so he had to lean back to follow your hand in order to keep breathing. Your heart beats faster at the rush of power you feel for a moment. "You better tell me what you're thinking, or this is not gonna work."

He taps your hand repeatedly until you let go, rising to his full height and you're back to feeling slightly intimidated as he stares you down, silently.

"I'm thinking that with a price that high you might actually take the bounty yourself."

"Why-?"

The tracking fob. The small object suddenly burned a whole in your pocket. 

"Oh come on! You were trying to kill me!"

Your voice raises, arms flailing about. You know you're making a scene, considering this street is so much emptier and therefore quieter than the main one, but for the moment, you don't care. Right now, all you want is to put Mando in his place. Something you know is foolish given that he nearly killed you before and could actually do it this time.

"Yes, but it's still stealing." He spoke with that know-it-all, I'm-better-than-you, tone that just gets on your nerves. Bastard.

You raise a finger in the man's direction, fully intending to continue this conversation and clear your name in his eyes - the reason why is unknown even to you - when a shrill giggle cuts through the air. You look to Mando's hip, where the creature (who's name you have yet to learn) sits, pointing ahead to the entrance to the cantina. 

Right at the man of the hour.

What? How?!

The man looks back at you and Mando for a moment, eyes widening as he recognizes you and the fact that this might be it.

Before he takes off running. 

You start running before Mando does, easily catching up to the stout man, who's no longer in cuffs. As you get too close to his liking, he takes out a blaster (that you know isn't his) and tries to shoot you in the head. Only to miss and hit your forearm instead. 

Hurts like a bitch, but it's better than death. 

Out of the corner of your eye you see a steel rope of some kind shoot out and wrap around the fugitive's leg, sending him stumbling face first onto the ground. 

Mando walks over to him, barely winded, standing over the panting man and blocking the sun with his body. You can only imagine the man's terrified expression. 

You quickly take care of your wound as Mando ties the man up enough that he can't move, wincing as you look at the damage made on your skin. The burning nearly stops the bleeding and it hurts so bad you can barely process it, so you don't think about it, you simply level your breathing while wrapping a cloth around the wound and hope for the best considering it's not too big. 

You clutch it to your chest as Mando approaches, pointing at your arm, intending to ask you if you're alright, but you move it to your side before he can. "Are you-"

"We should give him to the Resistance." You speak resolutely, holding back from wincing as your injury rubbed against your pants. It hurt even from beneath a (barely) protective cloth.

“I said ‘we’, so don't you start giving me shit, alright?” You tell him sternly after he crosses his arms, probably getting ready to call you a thief again. “You can't give him to the Resistance because they’ll arrest you, correct?” He nods.

“Well you know bounty hunting isn't exactly legal.”

“You don't have to tell me that, Mando.” You remind him firmly. “So, if we give him to them, we can ask for them to clear your name! And we’ll get double the reward. Two birds with one stone!”

“Do you really think they’d just do that?”

“If someone’s paying 8,000 credits for one guy and specifying they want him alive, then I’d bet they’d do anything to get him, even something as seemingly insignificant as clearing your name.” You explain, gesturing avidly as you do.

A long moment of silence passes before a modulated sigh crackles through Mando’s helmet. “Fine. I’ll go get the Crest.”

“Wait, woah woah woah. Why are you going? How do I know you wont leave me out here?”

“How do I know you wouldn't?” You take a moment to consider his words. He did lie to you, but you did steal from him in a way.

You look down in contemplation, eyes meeting the creature’s. Right, Mando has the kid, who probably isn't fit to be out in this heat for as long as it has.

“He got a name?” You point to the child, who smiles and giggles gleefully.

“Grogu.” You nod, sighing and rubbing your temples. Stars, it’s so hot it feels as if your brain is melting and you can feel a headache coming on.

“You can go. But I want you to swear on your,” You pause for a second, searching for the right word, “honorable code. Swear you’ll come back.”

“You-” The Mandalorian starts, before giving up on protesting at your determined stand, crossed arms and raised chin. “OK, alright. I swear that I’ll come back for you and the bounty. That we need.” He whispers the last part.

“Get to it then. I’m sweating bullets in this heat!”

You sit, back against a nearby rock, searching for as much shade as possible. You don't want to move the bounty back into town for a multitude of reasons, so now you’re stuck just outside of town. Sweat making your clothes stick and it gathers while the headache gets worse and more blood soaks your makeshift bandage, but at least it's silent. That's what you thought about 20 minutes ago, now, you’ve changed your mind.

“The hell did you do to get 8,000 credits on your head?” You ask suddenly, seemingly startling the man who seems to have accepted his fate already.

He sighs, probably just as bored as you, “I have some information they want. That's why they want me alive.” You purse your lips in interest, humming in understanding, before silence falls over you two once more.

Stars, it's hot.

You could cry from relief once you hear the sound of a loud engine getting closer and closer. The 'Crest', as Mando had called it. 

You grab the bounty by the shirt, hauling him to his feet rather roughly and shoving him towards the flying hunk of metal that had just landed. 

The ship. Mando doesn't come out to greet you. 

As the ramp closes and the air is blanketed in a sheet of silence, your mind starts to wander without your permission. You know he has to be handsome under there, what with his broad shoulders and slim waist, deliciously thick thighs and a wonderfully smooth and deep voice that seems to caress your very soul as you hear it. You caught a glimpse of his skin when you pulled at his collar, delightfully tan just begging for you to sink your teeth into it. 

Must be the heat. Surely that is the sole reason why you're fantasizing so vividly about a man whose real name you don't know, whose face you've never seen and oh, a man who tried to kill you. But didn't. 

Sick of your own thoughts and the loud snores of the bounty, you rise to your feet, climbing the ladder that leads to the cockpit. You wince as you put part of your weight on your injured arm, deciding to climb the rest of the ladder one handed instead.

“Are you decent?”  You shout through the thick metal door, hoping Mando can hear you inside the cockpit. When the heavy doors hiss and open, you’re sure he must be.

You sit down in the passenger seat silently, looking up at the stars above for a long moment. The mesmerizing, endlessly dark sky is all that you see at first, from being partially blinded by the fluorescent lights inside the Crest, before the stars come to you, bright speckles that dust the planetary systems all around you. Breathtaking. 

You look back in front of yourself to find Grogu already staring at you, head tilted with a smile that shows the slightest hint of tiny teeth. You smile, leaning forward with a raised brow. He leans closer to you, eyes lingering in the side of your face, the one already darkening from Mando’s blow, before dipping down to the arm you hold close to your chest. You let go of it immediately as he does, wanting to shield him from seeing the blood you know can be seen through the cloth.

The child steps closer, as far as he can while up on the dashboard. Mando has to be avoiding you, before he would've seen that movement otherwise.

It reaches out his small hand, squeezing his eyes as tightly as possible while the green limb twitches. You furrow your brows in confusion, what?

The ache on your skin lessens gradually, as if the wound was being lifted from your skin. You can feel it on your arm, it tickles as your skin connects itself around the wound while the burn disappears as if you’d just placed ice over it.

At some point, your eyes close, lulled nearly to sleep by the lifting of the pain, the feeling left behind makes your skin tingle with energy just beneath, your head feels light for a second, as if the blood moved from there down to heal the wounds.

When you open your eyes, you’re met with Mando’s visor trained on your face, silent in a way you can tell he’s speechless. “Eyes on the road, Mando.” You tell him cheekily, voice cracking unexpectedly.

He turns back forward, pausing his steering to pull Grogu forward and away from the edge, before his hands return to the commands. “So, is it far still?”

“No, just a few more hours. The closest Resistance base is just on the next planet.” His fingers flick switches and pull levers, before he seemingly puts the vehicle on autopilot and turns to you. “You can take the cot, you must be tired.”

You blink at him, “And what about you?”

“I’ll be fine.” He answers gruffly, not sparing you a glance.

“No, it’s gonna be a few hours, and you’ve been awake for about as much as me so if anyone is taking the cot, it’s you.” You argue back firmly.

He sighs, loosening the cape around his neck as a way to calm himself down, you and your selflessness.

“Alright. No promises that I’ll sleep though.” He acts like it’s a huge burden, as if it pains him deeply.

He takes Grogu in his arms and towards his sleeping nook. The small child smiles at you from over his guardian’s shoulder, and you smile back.

Once he’s safely put away and the bounty checked on, Mando leads you to a space just off the main hull space, where a bed - with the thinnest mattress you’ve ever seen - is pulled from the wall. Oh boy, you can already feel your back aching, but it’s better than sitting in the cockpit on those hard chairs.

So you lay down your weapons while he takes off the bulkiest of his armour. You lay down, curled on your side and away from him, knowing he’ll have to cuddle close to fit. You feel his warmth against your back, but you don't feel his touch quite yet, only the ghost of it. Your gut tightens with pity as you know he can’t take his helmet off. That has to be very uncomfortable.

The lights are dim enough that there is no shadow from your bodies on the wall. You can tell by the space he’s put between you, that he’s about to fall off.

“Are you scared of me, Mando? Can I call you Mando?”

“Sure and no.”

“Which one?” You ask mischievously, smirking to yourself while knowing full well what he meant.

He sighs in exasperation, so you let him be. For only a moment before you're back to being snarky. "Surely you've been this close to another human before, perhaps in a more compromising context."

"Yes and it's usually quieter." You think he might not realize what he just said.

You snort, "Must mean you're doing something wrong."

"That's not-! Just, get some sleep." He says tiredly, giving up on the banter you're pushing. You do as he asks, closing your eyes as you feel the heat of his body move closer to you.

You wake up to a rough whisper of your name and a shaking of your shoulder. Eyes open slowly, squinting against the light shining right at them, before something blocks it and eases your discomfort. The large hand on your shoulder doesn't yet move from its place, gently perched and waiting for you to wake up fully. 

You look up to see Mando's helmet over you, seemingly way too close (not that you're complaining), as you can clearly hear him breathe through his modulator. "We're here and we need to talk before you go in."

You follow him to the hull without question, stopping just before the door that leads to it. You rub the sleep from your eyes before blinking up at the bounty hunter, trying to nonchalantly fix your messy hair. 

And though he'd never tell you, he thought you looked adorable in that moment. Rosy cheeks, a faraway gaze, lips pursed to hold back a yawn as you brushed down your hair. He was certainly thankful for his helmet in that moment, considering the heat he felt crawling up his neck and settling on his cheeks. 

"Plan?"

You clear your throat before speaking, "Right. So, it's easy." You raise a hand to his face when Mando sighs deeply. "Simple, really. I go in, tell them I have the bounty and ask for a little something as compensation along with the credits. See? Easy and simple!"

"Do you think they'll take it?" It doesn't sound as skeptical as you would've expected from him. It's sort of hopeful. Even Mando has to admit to himself that getting chased around and having to avoid and run from x-wings at every turn, got pretty exhausting. 

"Let's try it before we start getting doubts." You tell him, determined. "Besides, nothing to lose if you stay hidden, right?"

The planet you landed on is small and green - perfect cover for a Resistance base. You walk along the dirt path leading to it and away from the Crest, coming up to a clearing where you can see the humongous metal doors of the base which seemed to have been dug into a small mountain. 

"Stop! State your business." A voice says through a speaker once you get close enough. 

"I've come to deliver a bounty!" You keep it simple, no use even attempting to be charming with these folks.

Not long after, the doors part to let someone through, who you presume is a general or something of the sort given their intimidating presence and the flock of guards with their weapons trained on you that follow them. 

"We have your credits. Thank you for bringing him to us." You keep your face neutral even as it urges to tremble beneath the pressure of their gaze. You feel the man in question squirm against the arm that grips his bicep. Must really not be a fan. 

"That is not all I want." The supposed general, no need to try and figure that out considering you don't want them to remember you more than necessary, raises a delicate brow. "I would like for you to clear someone's name."

"That is not what we agreed on."

"Yes, well, I didn't agree to it myself, so." You shrug, impressed that the general's face remains stone cold, especially considering how much they probably would like to dispose of you given you're dragging out this exchange for longer than what's really necessary. 

"You are in no place to make demands." One soldier tells you, pulling out his blaster and pointing it at you, getting more of a reaction from the bounty than from yourself as he flinches. 

"Oh, I am in the perfect place to be making demands." You tell him venomously, grip tightening on the man's arm.

"We have you surrounded."

"Just the way I like it." You respond with a wink just to hear the person's stuttering over the modulator on their helmet.

"Very well." The general calls out in order to gain their minions' attention, "Just tell me what name they might be under in our system."

"The Mandalorian. Mando for friends."

Epilogue

"Fuck! Shit, fuck! What was I thinking?!" You yell out in frustration, standing before what remains of your ship, the rest most likely taken by Jawas, who must be long gone by now. "Of course someone would take it apart, why not?! Oh, stars." You wail miserably, crouching into a ball in search of some comfort. 

"Hey, it'll be alright. Don't panic." Mando tells you gently after pulling you to your feet and grabbing your shoulders tightly to ground you. "There's two ways we can do this: we go after those Jawas, get your pieces and fix the ship or," Mando hesitates for a moment, fingers drumming along your skin as he turns the words over and over in his tongue until he feels as if he'll get them right once he says them. "you can come with me until you get enough credits for a new one. 4,000 might not be enough yet, but it's a pretty solid start."

His rare optimism brings a small smile out of you and makes your anger settle down almost completely. You'll no doubt have an even deeper hatred for the little shits, but you don't feel as if you'll punch the next living thing you see.

"I guess catching a ride with you can't be so bad, huh, Mando?"

[eventidedaydreamer]

What is everybody's strengths and weaknesses in your Bendy Au?

:) oh >:) okay

Joey Drew: 

Strengths 

he knows a lot of things, 

Intelligence

he can be very charming and can win people over easily, 

he’s the kind of person that you immediately like when you meet him, 

he knows how to leave a good impression.

If you actually get to know him he can be very bubbly and excitable.

Weaknesses 

he can’t read people, 

he’s brain smart but he isn’t emotionally smart, 

he doesn’t get it when someone shows emotions in a way he isn’t familiar with. 

He lashes out when he’s reminded of unpleasant things.

He knows how to turn everyone into ink creatures through sacrifice but he doesn’t stop to think if he should.

His coping mechanisms are not very healthy

Jealousy, clingy, its hard for him to consider that people can have more than one friend

Henry Stein:

Strengths 

He’s very tough (have you seen how much he falls?? and he’s OLD) 

Probably broke some bones when he was a kid so now he has stronger bones. 

He can handle a LOT of pain, 

he’s cool under stress and pressure, 

he’s a hard worker and a very talented artist.

He has a good memory

Weaknesses 

He has trouble expressing himself 

He’s a people pleaser and has a hard time saying no (something he’s worked on and is better about after he met his wife), 

He underreacts to things and overthinks a lot (overthinking is another thing he got better with after he met Linda)

Wally Franks:

Strengths 

One of the FRIENDLIEST people you will ever meet, 

and hes really really funny

He somehow knows everyone’s name even if he only met them once three years ago, 

It’s like he’s living life at a different speed because it seems like he spent the whole day with you but he also had time to see ten other people the same day?? 

He seems innocent and as if his perfect bubble of the world would pop if you mentioned something upsetting but the reality is he’ll listen to anything you need to get out and then give really good advice followed up with his usual humor.

He trusts that there is good in everyone and gives people second chances

Weaknesses 

He does really stupid things a lot

He’ll connect pipes wrong, resulting in later damage and messes

He’s always getting himself hurt, jumping too many stairs at once, making someone really angry and running for his life (Sammy’s the main one that’ll actually chase him down)

It’s like he has no sense of self-preservation 

(HOW IS HE NOT DEAD?!)

He is really trusting and some people take advantage of that

He opens himself up to everyone and forgives a little too easily

Sammy Lawrence:

Strengths

He knows how to stick up for himself and others

Hardworking

He is damn good at his job and won’t let you forget it

Sarcastic

Honest

Mature

He can hear the music as he’s writing it, feel it in his head when he sees sheet music

Very independent 

If he considers you a friend, he will go to extremes to get back at anyone that hurts you (Just ask Jack, he’s been friends with him the longest!)

It is unknown how many instruments Sammy can play, the band make guesses all the time and Jack is asked on a weekly basis but refuses to comment

its an ongoing discussion 

Determination, he’s the only one that will actually chase Wally til he catches him

Weaknesses

He’s angry almost constantly

The glass is half empty

Doesn’t hold back snide remarks (but if the remark is about music in some way you better listen there’s advice hidden somewhere)

Yelling, but it’s mostly just a very loud “WALLY FRANKS!” followed by running footsteps and Wally’s giddy laughter

I N S O M N I A C

constantly has bags under his eyes

A Perfectionist, Only the best can come from the office of Sammy Lawrence even if he forgets to eat while doing so

yeah thats another thing, he forgets about things like eating, sleeping, ya know, human things

He’s intimidating, the string of constant negativity doesn’t make many friends

Workaholic 

He’s become dependent on the few friends he has to break him out of his  work until its done mode and remind him to eat and sleep (Jack, Wally, Norman and Susie a little.)

because :) it would be a shame :) if one of them :)  went missing :) huh?

Susie Campbell:

Strengths

Hopeful and optimistic

Friendly

She has a really pretty face, shes really pretty in general

she gets a lot of attention because of it

shes tougher than she looks and uses it to her advantage

she is really clever

Flirty and a romantic 

an exciting storyteller, she can make a trip to the refrigerator sound interesting

Weaknesses

Possessive

she wants to hear all the gossip until its about her

is really jealous of the smallest things

she may seem like a little innocent flower but she’s the thorniest rose in the garden and you are growing a little too close to her

Alice Angel means everything to her, its the best way to distract her from anything else :)

the second best way is to mention her star-shaped birthmark/freckle

Norman Polk:

Strengths

Observant 

He’s very good at guessing things correctly

He seems to know something about everything and everyone

A really great listener

He also just has good hearing in general, easily eavesdrops 

Physically strong, he can lift anyone with ease

Wise and careful

he has some pretty sound advice in him if you ask for any

has a very good control on his temper and is calm and cool even in heated arguments or dangerous situations

a good people reader

is very understanding

Weaknesses

He’s scary, just how he likes it

People get the wrong ideas about him (He’s just sitting there! Is he watching me?)

to be fair, he might be

He doesn’t attempt to get to know people unless he sees a reason to

gets into other peoples business 

He’s always lookin’ for trouble

too curious for his own good

doesn’t talk about his feelings

Jack Fain:

Strengths

He’s so good at rhyming that he does it subconsciously on a regular basis

Creative

Empathetic

He’s not afraid to show emotion

Forgiving

Generosity

Gentle and soft

Humble

Patient

Selfless

Weaknesses

He can be really emotional a lot of the time

He spaces out a lot

he can seem like a crybaby

Doesn’t take credit for things he should

Lies about how he really feels to make other people comfortable, he doesn’t want to be a bother

puts himself down to make other people look better

Really shy

doesn’t stick up for himself

too passive

worries a lot

Johnny:

Strengths

He really loves his job

He’s a romantic at heart

very sweet and considerate

Loyal and devoted

Sees the best in people

Weaknesses

He falls in love way too easily

ignores flaws even when they’re concerning

can easily become an emotional mess

fears being rejected more than anything else (bro just love him he’s too sweet)

Shawn Flynn:

Strengths

He’ll tell someone off when they’ve done something wrong

believes in karma and justice

likes sewing while he’s talking/doing something else

really good at multitasking

Luck of the Irish

like he misses getting injured by mere inches

this makes him the perfect Go and Do Something Stupid companion with Wally

He’s really proud of his heritage and his work

Weaknesses

Shouts a lot

He can be too prideful and overconfident

isn’t into mercy or forgiveness 

can and will turn anything into a rivalry if its the last thing he does!!

the downside to being his friend is that its dangerous to hug him because he puts needles through his clothes so he can find them later

he says its built in protection

and Wally says ow

Thomas Connor:

Strengths

He’s been good with anything technical since he was little and only got better at it with age 

Honorable

Hardworking

Mature

Weaknesses

He believes in a one strike and you’re out ideal, leaving him to not trust some genuinely nice people (but he also doesn’t trust some questionable people so he sees it as justifiable)

Reserved, doesn’t attempt to get to know anyone

he can work too hard

Pessimistic

Allison Pendle:

Strengths

Boy can she give an inspirational speech

She’s very generous

Brave 

Levelheaded

She’s a lot stronger than she looks

you should hear her belt out a song

Weaknesses

prefers to fix other peoples problems rather than deal with her own

she’s really competitive 

she gets herself hurt a lot

can be a little too fierce

Grant Cohen:

Strengths

Math, he’s good at math

he was like yeah i can do numbers I’ll be an accountant! (bro im sorry u got Joey as a boss)

He’s a good singer (which seems random unless you know)

Weaknesses

A N X I E T Y

really cannot talk to anyone

his words get all jumbled up

if he had the internet he’d constantly be searching things like, how to explain to your boss that his decisions are putting the company in dept? how do you stand up to your boss?

has bad panic attacks

Bertrum Piedmont:

Strengths

He’s super confidant

Not afraid to get his hands dirty

Even though he almost always is dressed up nice

He makes sure he looks presentable

He acts like a dad to people he likes

Cultured

Very determined 

He can and will do anything out of spite and you can’t stop him because that will only give him more reason to

Weaknesses

Really prideful, gets offended over little things

is pretty arrogant as well

it’s really hard for him to change his mind after he’s made a decision 

refuses to lose, even if it’s really obvious that he has

he can be condescending 

doesn’t like or participate in humor, he’s always deadly serious

He can be over dramatic a lot

Lacie Benton:

Strengths

nothing seems to surprise her

calm and chill

a really good listener, the kind that you know can keep a secret

doesn’t take herself too seriously or anyone, (Bertrum finds her company to be one of his favorites after he figures that out)

shE WEARS WHATEVER SHE WANTS BECAUSE SHE DOESN’T CARE ABOUT YOUR OPINION SHE JUST LIKES WEARING PANTS

Weaknesses

stays quiet about important things, she ain’t no snitch, who cares if she witnessed someone stealing something

Super apathetic about life

kinda isolated (Norman says hi)

Lazy but only because she can do it really fast and well so you can wait for her

Linda Stein:

Strengths

It’s a good thing she’s so confidant else Henry would have just looked at this pretty lady and never introduced himself

shes like really good at gardening, talk about a green thumb!

Affectionate 

knows when to be gentle and when someone needs tough love

and shes good at distributing both

shes so brave

Eager and excited easily

super patient 

Understanding

Weaknesses

she can come off as too forward and a little too fast

can get a little frazzled

Forgetful (Henry helps with that)

she doesn’t want to invade anyone’s boundaries but doesn’t ask what they are so its a tug of war within her

Sorry this took so long, I wanted to really think about it and do it justice! :D

[sweetheartreader27]

Chapter Two: " story behind our names"

White Fang's POV:

"The reason everyone calls me 10k is because that's how many Z's I'm going to kill" 10k said. "cool" I said, "his father was his first..." Warren said with sympathy.

I felt bad for him ,"s-sorry for your loss..." I said while rubbing his back. "It's fine" 10k said while smiling at me.

"Now, the meaning behind your name?" Warren said. Everyone starred at me, crossing their arms. I feel my eyes loss it's sparks and I sighed.

"The reason I go by White Fang is because-" I stopped, my eyes are now full of void, no emotion, "The reason I go by White Fang is because i-it was my...Mom's nickname for me" I finished. No emotion on my tone. I notice 10K look at me with sympathy. "She didn't make it did she?" Warren asked with sympathy.

"It happens before the Apocalypse start. My mom and I running away from the guys who chase us, those guys chasing us because, My Dad... has a huge dept on them, if he didn't pay on the last deadline... they going to kill me and my Mom, that night as well, my Dad run away from his dept and leave us alone... My Mom pulled me and hide me on a tree and said "Do not come out, Do not help me, Do not make any noise, If you hear me scream Ignore it, save yourself honey. I love you my little White Fang..." and after she said that. I... I saw what they did to my Mom... they raped her endlessly, her screamed filled my ears. I want to help her but her words stuck to my mind. The next thing I know... they left. leaving my Mom's dead body with multiple stabs on her torso. I cried till I passed out... after that incident, I've never saw my DAD... It's been years since that happen" I stopped, they all soaked up the story.

"It's hard at first but if I'm gonna saw my Dad ONE. LAST. TIME I promise to myself. He's going to pay the price..." I said as I feel my kitsune eyes are going to show up, I closed my eyes to control my anger and open them again. 'no, not now'

"How old was your Mother?" Mack asked, "Forty Three" I replied. I continued my story. 10k put his hand on my shoulder but I shrugged it off.

I looked at the rest of the group they were all on the brink of tears, even Murphy.  I didn't expected the big bad wolf would cry at all. "I'm sorry" I said coldly. "There's no reason to be sorry honey" Warren said embracing me in a hug. I hugged her back.

"What was her name?" Addy asked, covering her mouth. "Her name was Angel Mae Northwood" I said barely above a whisper. "What happened to the guys who chase you and your Mom?" Doc asked. "I don't know...but I hope they're dead" I replied.

-

After they heard my past we just sat there. Nobody said anything, NOBODY. We just sat, for the next hour and did nothing. Just sat...

-

"We need to move" Said Warren. I nodded and put my mask back. We all walked to the truck, I was about to go at the passenger seat but Murphy stop me and said, "Woah, Woah, Woah. No hard feelings Huntress but that's my seat, don't you mind to go at the trunk?" He said. "Murphy give her a fucking damn break" 10k growled.

Everyone looked at him and soon he realized what he said, he covered his mouth. "First time I  heard you curse kid" Doc said hopping into the back. "Murphy get your ass here!" Warren yelled. He got into the passenger seat, while the others loaded into the back seat. 10k and Doc hopped into the trunk and I followed. I hit the trucks side and we took off.

-

We drove for an hour until we stopped at a road with Z's everywhere. "Puppies and Kittens!" Warren yelled. I was a little confused but soon learned what she meant. "Let me handle it" I said. "I'll go with you" 10k offered. "No stay here, keep the group safe, please" I said. He nodded and I hopped out.

There were about seven blocking the road but I could handle it. I grabbed my Red Katana off my back and started swinging, making clean cuts. At the moment, three of the Z's circled around me and I spin with my katana, Chopping there heads off. Crimson-red substance all over the floor before I got back to my pose. "All clear" I said cleaning my katana out of the substance and putting it back in the sheath, removing my mask, putting to the side of my head.

' I'm a Monster'

10k's POV:

I looked into her eyes. They were filled with void. When she jumped back into the truck, all I wanted to do was hug her and say 'It will be okay'  but she shuts everyone's out.

White Fang looked at me and I saw her beautiful silver eyes light up with deep emotion on it. She was perfect. I like her, no, I love her  and I will keep her safe. "What happens when you reach 10,000?" She asked I chuckled and replied, "I'll change my name to Jeff, I really quite like that name" She looked confused at me. "Jeff?" "Mhm" "Really?" "Yup" I laughed out. "Okay" She said. "20,000 is still the best!" Doc shouted. She giggled.

'God I love her laugh'

She was amazing with her katana, I wonder if she can beat me on a rifle though I mean I always see her use a bow, what if she use a rifle? maybe she's more deadly on it? I started to ponder what the future will become until Warren honked. "Get out were walking" "Again! Ugh why this stupid truck is always breaking down!" Murphy yelled, God he better not around when I reach 9,999. I chuckled at this and hopped out of the truck.

White Fang's POV:

I hopped out and saw a house, Mack entered the house first followed by Warren and securing the inside, looking for Z's. "all clear" said Mack. "Okay, well people we need to share room" Charles said. "Warren and I, Mack and Addy," They both smirked, "NO.FUNNY.BUSINESS you two" Warren said. This caused me to chuckle a bit and Doc chuckled as well. "How about Murphy take the couch, 10k and Doc and at the last bedroom, White Fang, it's all yours" Charles finished. I nodded at Charles sharing method, well I mean for the others and I'm glad I got the last room all by myself. 

"Sounds fine to me" Doc muttered. "Yeah you do Doc" Addy chuckled. I think I'm gonna have a solid friendship with this girl. I go to the room. It's not that clean and not that dirty as well. I sat on the bed. I covered my eyes with my hands and breathed out.

"You okay?" 10k asked while entering my room. "yeah" I said back. He nodded as a response. 'I swear sometimes, I just wanted to hear his voice'.  'maybe I like him. no cut that out, I love him' and suddenly, 'no fang he will not gonna fall in love in a demon like you' until I feel something "I'm...hungry" I said as I heard my stomach growled 'this is bad'. I stood up. "Well there's a food downstairs" 10k said. My eyes lit up, "thanks for telling me" I said as I walked downstairs.

I walked over to the counter were the food was sitting out. No one was around so I took a Twinkie, until I heard someone, "Put it down" Warren said. I dropped the Twinkie and turned to her. "Sorry for taking a food without permission" I said bowing my head. "It's okay, were passing them all out. You and 10k get one since you both haven't eaten" Warren said. "Thank you" I said as I picked up two Twinkies and give one to 10k who just came downstairs. He take the Twinkie out of my hand.

He unwrapped it and sat on the couch, I joined him. I eat quietly, munched every piece of the Twinkie slowly. 10k chuckled. He was about to take a bite of his when Murphy asked, "are you gonna eat that?". 10k looked at the Twinkie then at him. He looked at the Twinkie one last time and shoved the whole food in his mouth. I just chuckled as Murphy grumbled, "Selfish Little Bastard" I chuckled one more and I give my half at him. He looked at me. "It's okay Murphy, you need it and to fight your stubbornness you only need to eat" I said at him. He take the Twinkie and shoved it to his mouth. After he finished eating, "thank you for the half" he said. I just smiled at him and I dart my eyes at them, they looked at me...Shocked? "what?" I asked. They turn there attention back at their food. "Damn kid you should teach us how to tame The Big Murphy" Doc said, I laughed and Murphy scoffed.

"Here" 10k said and I looked at him. I looked at his out-stretched hand which had a small pack of  crackers. "I was saving it for later but It doesn't matter." "No it's your food, you must keep it for another day" I said. "I insist." He contoured. I took it from him and unwrapped the crackers. "Thanks" I said shyly, "Anytime" I slowly eat one cracker when I heard Warren shout, "Puppies and Kittens guys!" I ran outside grabbing my bow out of my back, I nocked an arrow and went into action. I aimed and shot, aimed and shot, and whenever one got close, I stabbed it with my hidden blade.

When all the Z's were gone I said "Mercy..." I notice everyone looking at me, "what?" "Your pretty handy with a bow, we could use you back up along with 10k" Warren said, the group shook there head in agreement. "thanks, why not" I chuckled. I could tell 10k got excited because I saw his eyes light up. They go back inside, I giggled and went back inside as well.

I sat on the couch continuing eating 10k's cracker he gave to me. After a while Murphy and Doc began to play cards. I could see that Doc was like a father figure to 10k which seems nice. 10k walked in and sat next to me.

"You know if we breed White Fang and 10k together, those Z's won't stand a chance in this world" Doc said. 10k blushed, nervously chuckled and this caused me to giggle. 'Who knew humans could be so amusing'. "Fang" I said, getting Doc, Murphy and 10k's attention "you all can call me Fang in short" I said. They nodded there head.

After a while I got tired and went up to my room. I take off my top, leaving me in my dark-blue bra. I hopped into the bed and drifted off asleep.

To Be Continued.....

[stargleam-star]

Warriors Rewrite Pt 0: Allegiances

So! Some of you may know Ive started rereading the first arc of warriors. As a result, I've been inspired to come up with my own version of a rewrite. I'm gonna make about 7+ posts of notes about things I'd change throughout the entirety of The Prophecies Begin.

To start off, let's talk about our cast

Leader: Bluestar (Apprentice: Sandpaw)

Blue-gray she-cat with a darker face, tail, and legs, and blue eyes. Basically she's a blue Burmese

She teaches Sandpaw instead of Firepaw because then it'd make sense when Graypaw says Bluestar only trains the deputy's kits. Not to mention I think Bluestar would be good at taming Sandpaw's attitude

Like in canon she gave up her kits. The way it happened was a bit different though. To look more convincing, Bluefur had Oakheart scratch her shoulder to make it look like she'd gone to fight the fox for her kits. Bringing home one of her kits half frozen made her story more believable

Deputy: Redtail (Apprentice: Dustpaw)

Small, mostly black tortoishell tom with a plumy dark ginger tail and green eyes

He lives! Or at least longer than he's supposed to. Probably til up about the time Lionheart dies in canon

He's mates with Runningwind. Sandpaw is their adopted daughter (we need more adoption positivity, plus her having no relation to the clan makes for a cleaner bloodline)

Medicine cat: Spottedleaf

Beautiful spotted torbie she-cat with a white chest, underbelly, and paws and amber eyes

She's not having a love affair with Firepaw/Fireheart in this. Also she's going to live slightly longer cause even tho Im not a fan of hers I want to change that

Warriors:

Lionheart (Apprentice: Graypaw)

Large longhaired golden tabby tom with a broad head, broad shoulders and amber eyes

Instead of dying during the raid Shadowclan leads on Thunderclan camp, he dies when the clan goes to chase out Brokenstar

Tigerclaw

Broad shouldered dark brown tabby tom with a scar across his muzzle and amber eyes

Whitestorm

White tom with a plumy blue-gray tail and yellow eyes

Bluestar raised him alongside Mosskit. So he sees her as his mom figure. He even calls her mom. He still loves Snowfur and sees her as his mother, but Bluestar was there for more of his life so he sees her as a mother too

Following that point, he sees Mosscloud as his sister. He also kind of sees Tigerclaw as a brother but doesn't have as strong of a bond with him as he does with Mosscloud

Mosscloud (Apprentice: Ravenpaw)

White she-cat with lilac patches and blue eyes

It's Mosskit!! She survived

Let me explain how: Bluefur snuck her kits out to bring to Riverclan (as she did in canon). But when she noticed Mosskit was falling behind and growing weak she panicked. She realized her daughter wasn't strong enough to make the journey, not like her littermates. So Bluefur tucked them away under a warm tree root and fetched Oakheart. Oakheart took Mistykit and Stonekit with him, and Bluefur carried Mosskit back to camp. It made her fox kitnapping story more believeable

Mosscloud doesn't really remember what happened that night anyways. If asked she'll say she remembers being cold and out of camp in the snow, and then next thing she knew Bluefur had carried her home. She believes Bluestar's story and believes her littermates are dead

She's really close with her dad, Thrushpelt. During free time she can often be found sharing tongues or having a meal with him

When she is busy, however, she's putting her focus on Ravenpaw. Mosscloud is an incredibly patient cat and wants to draw Ravenpaw out of his shell. She knows he has the potential to be a great warrior

Darkstripe

Black smoke classic tabby tom with a broad face and amber eyes. Like mama Willowpelt he looks like a British Shorthair

Longtail (Apprentice: Firepaw)

Lithe cinnamon silver classic tabby tom with a long tail and blue eyes

He was named a warrior 2 moons before Rusty came to Thunderclan

He was assigned to train Firepaw since he was so keen on testing the tom as soon as he stepped paw in camp (I'll go more in dept on this later)

Runningwind

What does "swift tabby tom" mean @ The Erins???

Here he's a fawn classic tabby tom with yellow-green eyes

He found Sandpaw at the edge of the territory when she was about a halfmoon-moon old kit and immediately brought her home to Thunderclan. She smelled of Windclan and he guessed a queen in the clan had abandoned her

Mousefur

Chocolate ticked tabby she-cat with amber eyes

She's pretty popular among the clan

She's around Longtail's age. They'd been named warriors together

Apprentices:

Sandpaw

Lithe dilute ginger classic tabby she-cat with green eyes

She doesn't know she was adopted from outside of Thunderclan. Nobody wants to tell her and frankly nobody really cares. She has clan blood, that's what's important. Plus she's strong, both physically and in wills

She's the oldest apprentice at approximately 9 and a half-10 moons

Dustpaw

Chocolate smoke tabby tom with amber eyes

He's kinda lean, like his brother. By the way Ravenpaw is his brother

He is 9 moons old at the beginning of Into the Wild

Ravenpaw

Small lithe black tom with a white chest locket, white tail-tip, and purple eyes ((this is my rewrite and I say purple-eyed ravenpaw rights.))

Like his brother he is 9 moons old

Ravenpaw is very grateful for his mentor. At first he feared he'd be given to a cat like Tigerclaw. But when he was given to Mosscloud, he calmed down, if only slightly. He appreciates her kind words and encouragement, and he responds well when she pushes him to do better. He wants to make Mosscloud proud

Graypaw

Longhaired gray tom with yellow eyes, a broad head, and a darker gray stripe from his forehead to his tail-tip. He looks like a British Longhair

He is 6 moons old at the start of Into the Wild, just like in canon. In fact, he'd been named an apprentice the sunhigh before he met Rusty.

He is still Willowpelt's son, despite having siblings who are two moons younger than him. Willowpelt became pregnant again not long after Graykit had been born.

Firepaw

Tom, handsome sorrel Abyssinian mix with green eyes. He's just...really orange

He's plump when he first comes to Thunderclan. Actually he remains kinda chubby

He's 6 moons at the start of Into the Wild

Queens:

Frostfur

Dilute tortoishell point siamese she-cat with a plumy tail and blue eyes

Obviously, her mate is Lionheart. They're the kinda couple who's really mushy and lovey

Her kits are Brackenkit, Swiftkit, and Snowkit

Willowpelt

Silver shaded white she-cat with a broad head and rich blue eyes ("rich" as in super blue. Like deep ocean blue). She looks like a British Shorthair

I decided to make her a queen early. I really like Willowpelt and I think she'd be good as a queen longer

Her mate is Whitestorm

Her kits are Cinderkit and Mistlekit

Before her current kits, Willowpelt had had 2 seperate litters before. Her first born is Darkstripe, who had siblings who had died young. He has an unknown father, but its suspected that he's half Shadowclan. Willowpelt's next litter consisted of one kit: Graypaw, who is also suspected to be half Shadowclan, but by a different tom.

Cinderkit and Mistlekit were born two moons after Graypaw was. This is because Willowpelt had had an out of clan affair, and while expecting a litter, fell in love with Whitestorm. When she was able to, she and Whitestorm mated and it resulted in kits a little sooner than either had expected. Yes this is a real thing that can happen, female cats can get pregnant again anywhere from 1-8 weeks after kitting.

Brindleface

Silver-gray spotted tabby she-cat with yellow-green eyes (I know what Brindle means but I've always headcanoned her to look like this)

She's expecting kits. Nobody knows who the father is though

Goldenflower

Pretty longhaired golden she-cat with broad shoulders, a broad head, and green eyes

She's incredibly fluffy. Even moreso than her brother

Her kits are Brightkit and Thornkit

Nobody knows who the father of her kits are, and she's going to keep it that way

Speckletail

Chocolate tortoishell she-cat

She doesn't have any kits as she is too old. She's just a permanent queen who likes helping newer mothers and kitsitting. She probably won't ever retire.

Kits:

Cinderkit

Blue-gray she-cat with a broad face and blue eyes

She's almost old enough to become an apprentice

Brackenkit

Golden-brown tabby tom with amber eyes

Brackenkit and his littermates are about a moon younger than Willowpelt's kits

Brightkit

Long haired white and ginger patched she-cat with green eyes

She's about a moon old

Thornkit

Longhaired golden tabby tom with orange eyes

Like his sister, he's a moon old

Swiftkit

White and black patched tom with heterochromatic eyes (one yellow and one blue)

Snowkit

Mostly pure white tom with blue eyes and a small patch of gray on the bridge of his nose. He is 100% deaf

I'm keeping this precious baby alive, you'll have to pry him out of my cold dead hands

Mistlekit

Silver shaded white she-cat with a plumy tail and yellow eyes

In canon she's Snowkit's littermate (who the Erins completely forgot about) soo I've revamped her and turned her into Cinderkit's littermate.

Like her sister she's about ready to become an apprentice

Elders:

Halftail

Dark brown tabby tom with a nubby torn off tail

Smallear

Gray tom with small folded ears

Patchpelt

Small black and white patched tom

One-eye

Pale gray she-cat, oldest cat in Thunderclan

Dappletail

Once pretty tortoishell she-cat

Thrushpelt

Lilac classic tabby tom with yellow eyes

He's still in love woth Bluefur but as always it's pretty one sided.

He adores Mosscloud with all his heart as if she were his own kit. As far as he and the clan's concerned, she is his kit. He's so happy he got to be involved in raising at least one of Bluestar's litter

Rosetail

Dilute mostly gray tortoishell with a pale ginger tail, and a white underbelly and paws

She retired early when Thistleclaw died

One day Bluestar explained to her how terrible her brother was, and even though she knows and understands, she still misses him

Cats outside the clan:

Smudge

Tom, Harliquine purebred Japanese Bobtail. Aka he's white and black patched and has a cute nubby tail

He has a little red bowtie collar

Yellowfang

Longhaired, flat faced, dark gray she-cat with a ragged scarred pelt, a yellow snaggle tooth, and orange eyes

Her name is actually Smokefang, but when she's exiled from Shadowclan she changes it.

Cats used to call her yellow-fang as an insult to her hygiene, so she took it on as her identity cause she's that bitch

Jake

Tom, purebred sorrel Abyssinian with amber eyes and a rainbow collar

Why do his owners let him roam around??? They probably don't know he's a pedigree purebred tbh

Nutmeg

Ginger and white tabby she-cat with green eyes

Princess

She-cat, ruddy and white Abyssinian mix with amber eyes and a pink collar

Barley

Black and white tom with yellow eyes and a red bandanna around his neck

Probably has a southern accent

Scourge

Tom, small all black Abyssinian mix with one white paw, ice blue eyes, a tooth studded collar, and dog teeth reinforced claws

Gotta talk about my boi if we're talking about a rewrite. He's probably got a genetic condition through Quince that makes him so damn small. Not to mention he's a runt

His collar is purple cause I make the rules here. And the very front has a bird skull because that's edgy and its a nod to flightfootwarrior/aka @ corvidkatana's old scourge design which I'm incredibly fond of

Also he has a hard time talking and walking. His collar's kinda tight on him now and it hurts to talk. His usual silence comes out more intimidating anyways. As for the difficulty walking thats due to his claws.

[signs-of-the-moon]

Moon Rise: Chapter 22

Another moon had gone by, with tensions growing high. Another gathering just past the day before, and once again Blazestar denied any wrongdoings on his clan's part. But it was obvious that Treeclan was wrong this time. Multiple cats had been caught trying to push back the border and hunting prey much farther in the Forest Patch than they were allowed. Swiftpaw was in disbelief until she saw it happen with her own eyes. Another cloudy day greeted her as she emerged from the apprentice's den earlier than usual. A nightmare had roused her just as the dawn patrols were being organized.

"Gingerstrike, you'll be taking a patrol to the Forest Patch," Chicorynose announced from atop Tall Stone. Her eyes scanned the cats who were left in camp. "Butterflytail, Rabbitpaw and Swiftpaw will go with you." A patrol? Cool! It had been a while since Swiftpaw had gone on dawn patrol. She felt grateful for the opportunity, and it would help rid her mind of those nasty dreams. The four Grassclan cats made their way into the maze of oak trees that had become a common battleground, ears pricked and awareness raised as they reached the end of their territory. As Swiftpaw turned to mark one of the trees, a gleaming grey pelt caught her eye. In the distance, two Treeclan cats made their way to the ground, scaling their claws down the length of a few nearby oaks. Only they were doing so on the wrong side of the border. Alarmed, Swiftpaw's pelt pricked. She made her way to her clanmates, flicking her ears back and flexing her claws in and out twice, giving the sign for intruders.

"How many?" Gingerstrike signed back. Swiftpaw flicked an ear twice. At once the two warriors nodded, leaving Swiftpaw and Rabbitpaw on their own.

"Let's create a diversion," Rabbitpaw suggested. "We can yell at those nasty sap sippers while Butterflytail and Gingerstrike get the jump on them." Swiftpaw nodded, lowering her head. Side by side the apprentices stalked, their hackles rising as they came to stand before the Treeclan warriors.

"Hey! What are you doing on Grassclan territory?" Swiftpaw yowled, wiggling her tail. Robinspots stopped clawing a tree while Greytuft turned to face the two of them. She let out a throaty chuckle, unsheathing her claws.

"Your territory?" She snarled, "The forest belongs to Treeclan. We're simply marking our borders."

"You're far from the border, fleabag, the scent markers start back that way," Rabbitpaw growled, flicking his tail in the proper direction. Robinspots smirked.

"Not anymore."

"That's what you think!" Swiftpaw spat just as Gingerstrike and Butterflytail leapt out of the undergrowth. Each warrior took down another, letting out their battle cries as they sunk their claws into their wood scented pelts. Gingerstrike threw Greytuft to the wayside, joining Butterflytail in a fight against Robinspots. Greytuft let out a cough as the dust cleared around her. She turned to flee the scene, to possibly get help, but was apprehended by the onlooking Grassclan appreciates. Rabbitpaw jumped onto her, holding her still with all of his weight while Swiftpaw slipped to claw at her soft underbelly. Greytuft thrashed, trying to throw the apprentices away from her with little success.

"This will teach you for putting your claws where they don't belong!" Rabbitpaw yowled, sinking his teeth into the back of the grey warrior's neck. Swiftpaw slid out from under her, grasping her tail between her teeth. She pulled on it, making Greytuft shriek.

"You rotten furballs!" She cried. Rabbitpaw released his grip to stand on top of her, pushing on Greytuft until she lay on the ground, defeated.

"Get off of our territory, now," he snarled in her ear, letting her go. Greytuft jumped to her paws, turning her gaze from one apprentice to another. Swiftpaw let out a fearsome hiss while Rabbitpaw swung his claws at her threateningly. Greytuft thrashed her tail, turning to climb up a tree. But Swiftpaw wasn't willing to allow her to take the high ground. She lashed out, chasing the grey warrior away. She ran to another tree, but Swiftpaw denied her from climbing. She continued to do this until Greytuft had made it past the border. As a last act of assertiveness, Swiftpaw turned and marked the nearest tree, a smug smirk on her face. Defeated at last, Greytuft fled back into the depts of Treeclan's land. Soon after, Swiftpaw noticed Robinspots pelting after her, pursued by Gingerstrike.

"And stay out!" He roared, fur bristling like flames as he came to a halt by the scent markers. Rabbitpaw laughed triumphantly, coming to stand beside his mentor. He tilted his head back, caterwauling his victory. Swiftpaw joined him, a connection sparking between them.

"Alright that's enough you two. Let's report back to Whitestar," Butterflytail chuckled, flicking his tail to motion for his clanmates to follow. Rabbitpaw came to walk by his side, the two disappearing into woods. Swiftpaw waited beside Gingerstrike, noticing a long scratch across his flank. She was worried for him, afraid to leave his side.

"Go on ahead, Swiftpaw, I'll catch up with you soon," he promised, glancing around, mainly towards the treetops. Was he worried about more trespassers?

"I'm not leaving," Swiftpaw meowed stubbornly. Gingerstrike sighed through his nose, nudging her with his muzzle gently. He looked desperate to have her leave, but Swiftpaw was being adamant. She wasn't going to leave a clanmate alone so close to the Treeclan border.

"Gingerstrike?" A voice piped from above. Swiftpaw tilted her head back, peering into the trees. In the branches she spotted the white patched pelt of a cat. Another Treeclan warrior?

"You need to go now, Swiftpaw," Gingerstrike insisted, shouldering her away this time.

"Who's up there?" She growled, wiggling her tail. Magpiepaw came climbing down the bark of the tree, her eyes wide with guilt. What was going on? Gingerstrike came to stand before her, bumping his forehead affectionately against hers before coming to stand protectively between the two apprentices.

"Relax, Magpiepaw's a friend," Gingerstrike meowed defensively.

"I know she's a friend," Swiftpaw responded, the fur along her spine rising. "She's my friend. But why is she on Grassclan territory?"

"She's my friend too. We wanted to spend time together." The ruddy ginger tom lowered his ears a little with guilt.

"We were going to meet at the Gathering Clearing, but then I saw a patrol heading into your territory and I followed them to warn Gingerstrike," Magpiepaw explained. "It's my fault that they've started pressing the border in the first place. I ended up over the scent markers by accident the first time, and the patrol I was with decided that I had come up with a brilliant idea..." She let out a sigh, stepping closer to Gingerstrike. "I feel awful for causing such a mess. And for my clanmates following me here to start trouble. " Magpiepaw dipper her head, pressing it against Gingerstrike's shoulder. The ruddy ginger tom turned to lick her between the ears, purring softly. Sympathy churned in Swiftpaw's belly as she watched them. Perhaps originally Magpiepaw had come to start trouble, but now all she wanted to do was be with Gingerstrike. Despite the impending war, the two of them had managed to form a bond.

"I'll keep your secret safe," Swiftpaw promised begrudgingly, holding back a sigh. "So long as next time, you don't come back to this side of the forest, Magpiepaw." Surprised, the pair let out soft trills of appreciation, standing beside each other with tails raised. The two said their farewells before Gingerstrike turned to follow Swiftpaw home. As they departed, Magpiepaw disappeared back into the trees, a goodbye echoing on the wind. Seeing the two enemy cats come together gave Swiftpaw hope. Hope that things would be alright, that things would finally settle down. That Treeclan and Grassclan could come to find peace settle between them once more.

That was half a moon ago now, and tensions had all but died down. Now, things were becoming far more violent. Swiftpaw sat by the mouth of the medicine den, helping Mistypaw sort some of her herbs while the older medicine cats had left to aid a patrol in a raid.

"Is this tansy?" She asked, picking up a small yellow blossom with a claw. Mistypaw shook her head.

"No that's tormentil, we'll be using that on deep wounds soon, I'm sure."

"The warriors are returning!" Cheered Cricketsong as today's battle patrol made their way into the clearing. Mistypaw stood at attention, darting over to the injured party. She cooed at the first warrior to break through the bramble tunnel, leading them over to her den. More cats came streaming in after with varying degrees of battle wounds. The worst of them all was Butterflytail who had to be dragged in by both Snowfrost and Goldensong. He withered in pain as they set him down in the middle of camp. His body wriggled against the earth, his jaws parted in an inaudible cry of agony. Swiftpaw cautiously approched him, a pit forming in her stomach. She had never seen a cat act like this before. Butterflytail stretched his forepaws outward, kneading at the air with unsheathed claws. He gurgled as he struggled for breath, struggled to beg for help. Whitestar came to witness the scene, staring with mouth half agape in shock. Cricketsong and Chicorynose came to flank either side of her, burying their muzzles into her creamy fur comfortingly. Tigerfang came around to obstruct the leader's view while the two she-cats led her away.

"What happened?!" Mistypaw gasped, looking down at the tom in horror as she approched. Swiftpaw wanted to jump in front of her and shield her from the sight, but resisted. She knew that she needed to see this. It was her job to.

"He was thrown into a tree head first. His brain must be badly damaged," Snowfrost responded, sounding rather collected.

"Wh..what can we do?" Mistypaw asked in a shaky voice, eyes wide with fear.

Snowfrost shook her head. "We can do nothing. There is no cure for severe head trauma like this. He will either break from his trance on his own, or die." That didn't seem very logical. Why would banging your head cause such a terrible fit? Concerned, Swiftpaw went to speak with Dewstone. The white and silver she-cat was seated near the warrior's den, watching the scene of pain in front of her attentively.

"Dewstone," Swiftpaw mewed, breaking the Code Keeper from her thoughts. "Have you seen Butterflytail?"

"It's hard to keep an eye on everyone from this distance. Why, what's going on?"

"He's spasming. Snowfrost says it's because he hit a tree. Is that right? Can that really happen...?" Dewstone curled her tail as she thought briefly, slowly nodding her head.

"It really depends on how hard Butterflytail hit his head, but yes. It's rare, but it can happen." Oh, Swiftpaw felt sick. Another warrior was on the verge of dying. Dying because of the actions of a Treeclan warrior. All the hope that had once stirred inside of her leaked out like water flowing through the cracks of a broken boulder. What would Whitestar do now?

"All cats gather beneath Tall Stone!" Whitestar yowled untraditionally. Those of the clan that were not being seen by the medicine cats edged their way toward the towering ancient boulder. Swiftpaw examined those in attendance, noticing the tension built up in everyone's pelts. Frostpaw sat with a paw raised, rubbing it against a cut on her cheek while Quailpaw sat at her side, licking the blood from a wound on the back of her neck. Ambereye laid beneath her younger brother Gingerstrike who cleaned the top of her head, a sad chuckle escaping him. Cricketsong sat at Chicorynose's side by Tall Stone's base, a distressed mewl rising from her throat as she furiously cleaned a nasty wound over the deputy's eye. Mistypaw twisted around those who had yet to be seen, patching their scratches and bite wounds with cobwebs and marigold. It was shocking. Swiftpaw had never seen the clan in such pain and distress. Whitestar waited for silence to fall over her cats before she finally spoke up. "Who started the battle with Treeclan?" She asked, her usually soft, soothing voice now laced with ice. Cats exchanged glances with one another, a discussion rising from beneath. Was Whitestar accusing her own clan of starting today's battle? "Well?"

"W...we did.." Piped Snailear, guilt written on his face. A few shocked gasps escaped the cats around him, including one from Swiftpaw. Slugsnout and Beetlepatch hissed at the tom-their own littermate-to be quiet. But it was clear that the ginger and white tom was eager to confess, to possibly ease the punishment he may face if Whitestar were to find out from someone else instead. "Slugsnout, Beetlepatch, and I started the scuffle. We wanted to give Treeclan a taste of their own medicine....we ambushed their sunhigh patrol, then sent Beetlepatch back home to fetch help. We wanted to make it look like they had attacked us first, and lured them across the border before the battle patrol arrived."

"Why would you do this?" Dewstone asked, standing up to make her way to the front of the crowd.

"Like I said, we wanted them to have a taste of their own medicine. We're so sick of being attacked. So, we decided that this time we would pounce first." Whitestar heaved a sigh, dipping her head. She seemed to be suppressing a growl that was threatening to erupt from her throat. Only when she had regained her composure did the siamese she-cat speak.

"I am very disappointed in you three. Senior warriors... I thought better of you. When I return from apologizing to Blazestar, I will punish you accordingly. For now, get all the rest you can. You'll need it." The three toms shrank back, bowing respectfully.

"Apologize?" Tornface caterwauled unexpectedly. "You're going to apologize to that mange-pelted leader after all his clan has done to us?" Yowls from the rest of Grassclan joined the old tom in his outcry.

"It's the right thing to do. Even if Blazestar will not do the same, I must do what I can to prevent a war."

"But Treeclan killed Waspwing!" Beetlepatch countered.

"We don't know tha-" Whitestar tried to defend her choice, being cut off by Tigerfang.

"And now Butterflytail is dying because of them." The tabby tom held his mate's gaze for a few heartbeats, engaging in a silent battle with her. Whitestar averted her eyes, addressing the clan once more.

"Butterflytail is dying because of the actions members of our clan took first. We cannot rightfully blame Treeclan for anything except trespassing. I will go apologize to Blazestar, even if he does not deserve to hear it. I fear that if I don't, he will surely declare war." The siamese she-cat leapt down from Tall Stone, swiftly concluding the meeting. She was clearly in no mood to indulge in any further argument on the subject as she stalked towards the camp barrier. "Tigerfang, Swiftpaw, and Chicorynose to me. You three will accompany me to Treeclan's camp. Dewstone, you will be in charge until we return."

***

Swiftpaw felt uneasy as they walked past the scent markers, further into the forest than she ever would have liked. A horrible stench caught in her nose as the trees began to thin slightly. The smell was oddly familiar and yet difficult to place. As the path cleared a wide black river stretched out before them, seeming to continue on in either direction forever. Cautiously, Swiftpaw reached out a paw to swipe at the black liquid within. To her amazement the surface was actually solid stone. As she went to take a brave step out on the stony path, the ground began to shake. Whitestar grabbed Swiftpaw's scruff and threw her back just as a creature raced by, roaring and kicking out fumes. A monster! Swiftpaw had only seen a pawful of them back when she was a kittypet. She'd almost forgotten what they'd looked like, and how dangerous they could be. Though she had never seen them travel on a path quite like this. Back in her neighborhood, the paths had been made of earth, not solid stone.

"This is the Thunder Path, Swiftpaw," Tigerfang explained, seeing the bewilderment on her face. "When the next monster passes we'll hurry to the other side." The tabby tom flicked his amber gaze onto the black stone path ahead. Another monster sped past, leaving behind a cloud of smog. "Ready? Go!" The four cats pelted across the Thunder Path as fast as their long limbs could carry them. They skidded to a halt as their paws touched the soft grass on the opposite bank. For a few heartbeats they sat panting, catching their breaths before continuing onward. But they did not make it far before a patrol jumped down on them. Four Treeclan warriors stood before them, fur bristling as they stared the intruders down.

"Whitestar?" A blue eyed ginger she-cat mewed, intrigued. "What do you think you're doing on Treeclan territory?"

"After a battle no less," spat a  blue-grey tom. Whitestar seemed unaffected by the harshness in the tom's tone, swishing her tail.

"I have come to speak with Blazestar. Please, will you escort us to your camp?" The warriors exchanged unpleasant glances before reluctantly nodding, herding the Grassclan patrol in the direction of Treeclan's camp. As they scaled down a small elm tree into a leaf littered clearing, a whole new cluster of trees surrounded them, giving shelter to all the cats who lives there. Swiftpaw saw some warriors disappear into a hole high up in an oak halfway across the camp. Kits and queens scurried in and out from beneath the roots of a maple tree, playing and laughing without a care in the world. Injured cats limped from beneath the sagging branches of a weeping willow, a calico she-cat looking on glumly. Sitting near a thick stump were Blazestar and another warrior Swiftpaw quickly recognized. Wolfheart. Whitestar led her patrol over,  drawing the ginger and white tom's attention onto them. Blazestar's fur bristled as he parted her jaws to speak.

"What do you think you're doing here?" He growled lowly. Wolfheart stood at his side, baring his fangs at Tigerfang and Chicorynose. Swiftpaw looked at the large tom from her mentor's side with sadness. Wolfheart had been so nice before, why was he acting so hostile now?

"I'd like a word with you in your den, if that's alright," Whitestar replied, her voice soft. For a heartbeat Blazestar remained silent before jerking his head in the direction of his den. He slipped under the thick stump he had been sitting by, Whitestar following right behind. Before disappearing she instructed her cats to stay put. Tigerfang and Chicorynose busied themselves by whispering to one another while Swiftpaw trained her ears on the conversation in the leader's den. She could hear Blazestar yowling, asking what the intrusion was all about. Whitestar made sure to keep her voice calm and steady as she explained herself, and explained the actions of the cats who had caused today's battle. As she did so Blazestar seemed to settle down, his voice falling soft and harder to hear. For a long while the two spoke in hushed tones. Swiftpaw struggled to catch what they were saying, unknowingly moving herself closer to the tree stump.

"Get away from the Great Stump," Wolfheart hissed lowly, causing Swiftpaw to jolt. She scrambled backwards, back to her mentor's side.

"S..sorry..." She meeped, lowing her ears. Chicorynose shook her head, rasping her tongue against her apprentice's cheek with an amused purr.

"Nosy, 'Paw," she teased. Swiftpaw's pelt felt hot with embarrassment. She glanced at the fawn she-cat who simply kept grooming her. Tigerfang sat at her side, turning his attention to the Great Stump. A heartbeat later, the leaders emerged. Neither seemed to show any tension as they came to settle just outside the den.

"Thank you for your visit, Whitestar. I trust that you will send your cats here to be punished accordingly. In return I will have Cardinaltail find who is responsible for the injury of your warrior. And I promise to keep my cats off your land," Blazestar meowed. It sounded as if the two leaders had discussed this already, but needed more cats to bare witness to the truce. Chicorynose, Tigerfang, Swiftpaw, and Wolfheart watched as the leaders touched noses.

"You have the thanks of my clan, Blazestar. Thank you for hearing me out. May the winds be on your side."

Blazestar dipped his head. "And may Starclan light your path." Whitestar mimicked his motion before turning and calling her cats to her side with a quick flick of her tail. Chicorynose and Tigerfang quickly ducked their heads in the presence of Blazestar before following, Swiftpaw doing the same. She galloped to catch up to her clanmates as they scaled the short elm and out of Treeclan's camp.

[mondofunnybooks]

'THANOS'S GRANDAUGHTER: GO SUCK EGGS GRANDPA!' DEPT.

'The title means exactly what the words say: NAKED Lunch - a frozen moment where everyone sees exactly what is on the end of every fork.'

-William Burroughs, from the foreword notes for the novel 'Naked Lunch'.

THE GATEKEEPERS!

As may not possibly surprise you lot, we've run afoul of some of the more humourless elements of fandom in our time. This is probably down to the fact that we don't take superhero comics very seriously but are utterly enamoured of some of the more sillier elements of history. True story. We were once told off by a man in Green Lantern fangroup (We were bored.) because we thought that the origin of Kyle Rayner is so nakedly Freudian and 'Will this do?' to be hilarious.

To recap:

On a planet called Oa exists a race of short, bald humanoids with large heads called The Guardians. The Guardians believe in enforcing Order in the universe and go about this by way of selecting the most suitable candidate (called a Green Lantern.) of each sector of the universe to be given a power ring that does whatever the wearer can imagine. This ring had no effect on anything yellow due to a necessary flaw in the design to stop the wearer from having absolute power. Also, it has to be recharged every 24 hours.

Our sector of the universe is 2814, and of the 7200 Lanterns patrolling the universe at any given time, ours was a chap called Hal Jordan. Very strong-willed, very daring. Hal got the ring off an alien called Abin Sur who was on his way to give either him or a ginger bloke with a Moe haircut called Guy. Hal happened to be closer than Guy, so got the ring.

Hal Jordan went onto be a successful Green Lantern for several years but things went terribly wrong when a big yellow space tyrant called Mongul, teaming with a cyborg pretending to be Superman destroyed Hal's home of Coast City, murdering tens of thousands of people and left Hal shattered, feeling he'd failed in his duty as Earth's protector.

The loss of everything Hal cared about sent him insane, and he attempted to resurrect his destroyed home using the power ring, but he could only achieve a replica of what he'd lost and the ring wasn't designed to create that much matter for a presumably infinite period of time. His perceived second failure cemented his full breakdown, and he went on a murderous rampage in order to gather as many Green Lantern rings as possible on the way to returning to Oa is seize the original Green Lantern ring. Things go quite wrong as Hal murders the entire Lantern Corp and all but one of the Guardians: Ganthet.

Ganthet, a wee blue fella cosplaying as Orko off the He-Man cartoons pegs it back to Earth. Once there, he floats to L.A., sees a drunk bloke taking a piss against a wall and gives him the final power ring before sodding off, exclaiming 'The Ring will sort you, mate. No worries.'

A BLUE SPACE MIDGET IN A RED DRESS GIVES A DRUNK LAD ONE OF THE MOST POWERFUL WEAPONS IN THE UNIVERSE AND THEN FUCKS OFF IS THE ORIGIN OF KYLE RAYNER, GREEN LANTERN OF EARTH.*

This would be weird as a 1960's comic but at least the DC Editors of the '60s had no idea any of this stuff would be reprinted and pored (Hi, Donald.) over by future generations. Supergirl is having a relationship with a fella who turns into her horse but she doesn't know about it? Fine. There's a space creature from the fifth dimension who has a real thing for winding up Superman every ninety days and can only be stopped by tricking him into saying his name backwards? Gotcha. Batman owns a dog who fights crime but wears a mask on patrol so no one will link Ace The Bat-Hound with Bruce Wayne. Of COURSE. Beppo The Super-Monkey? PRINT IT! Who will care in five years? Who will even remember, right?

Green Lantern 50 (2nd series, 1994) was published post Watchmen, post Dark Knight Returns, post Brat Pack and all of the other silly 'Corporate Superheroes Can Be For Adults' malarkey. We were now aware of subtext, metaphor, aspirational text and either this is a daft attempt at being a mature comic (which given it features a nervous breakdown, genocide, the total psychological breakdown of one of the icons of the DCU and the first example of 'Fridging' quite soon after, it ought to be.) or it's a very bad attempt at pitching a superhero comic at the kids.

The real answer was of course that DC were trying to get attention back they'd lost to the Marvel Superstar period and subsequent formation of Image. Superman grew a mullet, Batman needed a wheelchair and was replaced with a religious nutter wearing Vatican levels of gold, Wonder Woman was replaced with a giant legged redhead, The Flash broke his leg. It was all kicking off.

But we always found the whole Kyle thing hilarious, and when making our usual jokes about it ('Good thing Ganthet didn't run into Richard Pryor!', etc.) we were scolded. It turns out the story had been rewritten a bit as part of something called Green Lantern: Rebirth so it made a bit more sense. Lord knows some of our best friends are comic fans, but when they start quoting the continuity of a DC comic with capitals like they WERE reciting THE Bible and Geoff Johns DID make it GOOD, we get a bit scared.

All that was a recap of 5 comics. (Green Lantern 47-50 and Superman 80) and was almost impossible to recap straight. When we tried to give a factual, chronological accounting of these comics, we weren't capable of throwing in a few puns. And circa 1989-1993, nor were the staff of Marvel Year In Review.

When people try to contemplate the early 90's and Marvel, they think of Spider-Man 1, X-Force 1, X-Men 1. If you narrow the field down to Marvel Magazines, probably the movie adaptations, poster specials and most likely the BEAUTIFUL Marvel Illustrated Swimsuit Editions. Few will remember the spectacular Marvel Year In Review annuals. That's a shame, because with one notable exception* it was the last time they displayed an ability to take the mick out of themselves beside the better issues of John Byrne's run on She-Hulk or the comedy title 'What The--?!' (also canceled, sadly in 1993.).

Marvel Year In Review, in theory, was probably originally designed to be exactly that: A chronological overview of every comic published by Marvel over the previous 12 months. That sounds simple enough but can you imagine being the poor saps who not only have to read all those comics but attempt to sum them up as a factual synopsis. The work and time we just put into four issues of Green Lantern was murder and at least interesting things happened in those books. 'Hey, Dwight here's all of Acts Of Vengeance to work out, and see if you can explain what a Captain Universe is and why Spidey might become possessed by his powers, there's a pie in it for you. Barry, you got Atlantis Attacks.' Interns were probably diving out of the window at the sight of editor Bobbie Chase approaching them with a stack of Alpha Flight.

So rather than put out another dry, just the facts ma'am comic to sit along Marvel Age, The Offical Handbook Of The Marvel Universe or Marvel Preview, they changed gears. Marvel opted for a magazine format with covers emulating the likes of Time and later National Lampoon and sadly unnoticed New York-centric mag Spy. The early issues provided something of a review of the year but in journalistic form for some of the bigger events juxtaposed with pieces on 'Best and Worst Dressed' and ads for products like Damage Control, who would sort out your house if it'd been trashed in a fight between The Hulk and The Wrecker, a tourist ad for Latveria, posters for the new Simon Williams film or a flyer for the next Dazzler disco compilation. Long before Alex Ross painted every last rock on Ben Grimm's back, Marvel TYIR gave you an insight into what it would be like to be a resident of the Marvel Universe reading a 616 style issue of National Lampoon.

MYIR also ran interviews with various superheroes, (Including Rick Jones recounting the time he met Elvis, by far the best thing to come out of Infinity Gauntlet/War/Crusade.) a review of Nightcat's debut album, an appetite suppressant for Galactus, the 'Who Died This Year, Who Came Back From The Dead and Who Managed To Stay Dead' update, an expose of Genosha's tourist, a create your own 90's superhero name and origin generator (which turned out to be surprisingly accurate.) an account of two disenfranchised rival employees's visit to the Marvel Offices and ooh, loads more.

This is speculation on our part, but the knife gets a lot sharper around the 1992-1993 editions. The full chronology is written with a weary black humour of someone's who just seen too much and is getting bitter. The full-on assault on the 1993 annuals, certain top-tier artists 'showing their influences too clearly' and inadvertently predicting the future of more brutal and uncaring superhero comics in the article 'Bring On The Bad Guys' from MYIR 1993.

There's a huge shift in attitude and editorial policy in the next 12 months. Several publishers have gone bust, Tom Defalco is gone as Editor In Chief and replaced with 5 people in charge of various parts of the publishing line, turning Marvel into a series of little fiefdoms with varying degrees of co-operation between each other. We've just met Peter Parker's robot parents. Aunt May is about to die. Reed Richards is dead. Jim Wilson is dead. Legion resolves to kill Magneto. Dr Strange has an idea for something called 'The Secret Defenders'. Everything is about to get very serious and therefore far more ripe for parody.

And with no word, no goodbye from the editors, nothing in the fan press nor explanation, Marvel Year In Review 1994 was solicited thusly:

'Marvel Year In Review 1994 - Just the facts, ma'am. Gone is the tongue-in-cheek humor of the past; the Marvel Year in Review offers a factual recap of the major Marvel Universe events of 1994. It's short on lengthy text and long on splashy art and fact-filled sidebars. Included are all the happenings from the pages of X-Men, Spider-Man, Fantastic Four and Ghost Rider, plus art by Andy Kubert, Chris Bachalo, Tom Lyle and many others! $2:95. $4.00 CAN'

And it was. Normal comic size. No chatty opener from the editor with puns and gags. No angry letters from readers just wanting to know what happened in X-Force and wanting to be rid of the MODAM jokes. No ads. Not even, truth be told, much in the way of recaps so much as trade dress-less cover repros with dialogue quotes and a paragraph or two to cover the essential plot elements, finished with the most perfunctory 'Er, will this do?' appeal to the readers on the last page. Turns out that no, it wouldn't do at all, as there was no Marvel Year In Review 1995 or any other edition either.

Marvel has put out a few self-parody books since, such as Marvel RIOT!, House Of Hem, Marvel WHAT Now?, Who Won't Wear The Shield, Wha HUH? and obviously Deadpool crosses the lines frequently, but there's not been something that clever nor ambitious since. Perhaps the line between reader, writer and editor aren't as clear as they used to be or simply today's audience wouldn't be as immediately familiar with the formats being parodied and as the recent attempts to parody Marvel fanfiction have shown, sometimes an idea just belongs to its time. As a magazine that featured fun work by the likes of Todd McFarlane, Dan Slott, Sam Kieth, Peter David,  Kevin Maguire and a different angle on a world that takes itself a little bit seriously at times, Marvel Year In Review was a fun little ride while it lasted.

(Note to self. Never, ever look up Marvel fanfiction again. Ever.)

*This may be different now but was certainly the case in 1994. Origins, histories and such might have changed due to 52, Convergence and Rebirth. We were told that Flashpoint was the end of the DC Universe as we knew it, and we took that as a good place to stop reading. Except Section Eight and Batman/Elmer Fudd obviously.

Dedicated to the memory of Steve Ditko.(1927-2018)

[pixiedurango]

Ursa - A Rogue’s Tale - (part 4)

part 4: In which Thorin and Ursa go shopping of some sort. 

Notes: I used the Dragon Age Inquisition character creator to give Ursa a face, ANYWAY THIS IS NOT A HOBBIT/DAI CROSSOVER Future events will loosely follow the movie version of the Hobbit, but story sets in a good part before the company meets at Bilbo’s house. Feedback, comments, reblogs and any kind of rambling about this is - like always - highly appreciated. Just drop by and start a convo. @deepestfirefun @xxbyimm @armitageadoration @thegreyberet @cd1242 @fullvoidmoon @patanghill17 @brieflyhopefulluminary @mynameisnoneya1991 @sherala007 @shikin83 @evyiione @thorincuddlez @thorins-magnificent-ass @tomssweetbouquet @abiwim @niteowlnest @maybetomorrowgirl 

4

Thorin let her sleep through the night without bothering her to take second watch. 'Just this one time' he swore to himself. Such silly acts of chivalry he impossibly could hold up for the rest of their journey.

And she would not want that either, he assumed. Her sour face greeting him in the morning was proof enough.

“You'll have to finally trust me if you want me be a part of your company, your majesty!” She grumbled, clearly mocking him.

His eyes narrowed, becoming icy and his features hardened. “Don't call me that if don't mean it!” Thorin snapped back. “And maybe you should start learning the concept of simply doing something from kindness alone. If you ever consider becoming part of my company that is.”

“Dwarves are not particularly known for kindness, you know? Simple as that.”

They stood opposite, actually mirroring each other, arms braced in front of their chests measuring each other with stubborn eyes.

Thorin finally gave in.

“Fine. Take it as you will. I don't care. Now get ready. I won't waste any more time with your follies.” With a face remaining like stone he gathered his belongings but  did not ask for his coat. Leaving it with her who still had nothing to properly cover herself other than her ripped clothes. “We head to the next village. I'll see that you get something decent to wear and then you may leave to where ever you wish.”

Strange enough it annoyed him that obviously she had changed her mind over a night's sleep, not really realizing that she never actually said she wouldn't come. But just to argue with was rejection enough right now.

How wrong he was, he slowly realized when he saw her brows furrow in a frown as she glanced over to him obviously surprised by another change of rules.

“I thought we're on our way to Hobbiton. Together? As you offered last night?” She was trying to fix her torn vest with a leather cord she had found somewhere in his bundles and when it was done in a halfway decent way she wordlessly tossed him back his coat. Now they both were puzzled but Thorin tried to overplay it while catching his cloak and it was a good distraction to gain time while putting it on.

“Yes. Of course... I... just wanted to... emphasize... that you are free to decide any time.” She realized he was rambling but was clever enough not to rub his nose in it. That was why she only gave him a broad smirk as she deliberately chose to take one of his bundles so the load to carry was shared. Of course he was about to object but her gaze silenced him.

~  ~   ~

They wandered in almost peaceful silence until they arrived at the gate of the  village. “Let me do the talking?” Ursa asked.

“Why do you think I'm new to bargaining? I make a living of selling my smithy work.” Thorin grumbled back. Why in Durin's name did everything she said sounded like she was challenging him?

“I'm certain, you'll be an excellent negotiator when it comes to your hand's work, but we're here to get me new clothes. Let me make my own choice and work for it? Please?” Without really wanting it, she went all soft for a moment and her eyes showed more of the plea than her words did.

As soon as she realized it, she looked away and mumbled something he could not understand.

He did not see why this even mattered but he agreed when he saw how important this seemed to be to her.  Halfway he expected that she would try to get a fortune out of his offer to buy herself unnecessarily pricey things but he was bound to learn different when they finally found their way to the local merchant.

She chose a pair of dark and well worn sturdy buckskin breeches. Cutting the legs would be necessary but he knew they would not find dwarf sized clothes in a human settlement. A simple tunic in an earthy green with laces to close at the collar. A darned but surely warm coat from blackish gray wool, a short padded leather jerkin mainly made of straps, laces, buckles and hidden pockets and a pair of knee high boots completed her choices.

When she finally was done negotiating, he literally had to collect his jaw from the floor. Along the way he had never been sure whether she was pulling up a fight, starting an argument, being about to leave the place without buying anything, flirting with the merchant or actually just buying something without further hassle.

The prize he finally was paying was way less than estimated and he could not help but making a somewhat approving face while they left the merchant's place.

“Impressive.” He acknowledged and she grinned over to him, happily carrying the bundle they just had purchased.

“Seems all this dwarvish blood is good for something at last.” she replied with a wink and he had to look away so she would not see how his cheeks started to burn.

She indeed had impressed him and he caught himself being more and more fascinated by her. She was lively and reckless and she surely stood her ground. And she was beautiful which he very well realized. And now she was winking at him!

But he chased away once more any such ideas. Follies! Inappropriate and so not worth a second thought. He could not divide his attention between his quest and a woman. Not to speak such an impossible one.

Thorin realized that he had been quiet for far too long now as they were still standing in front of the merchant's house and he turned towards the smithy which was right across the street.

“Let's go, see if I can sell a sword or a dagger.”

“Can I see what you have? Tell me what’s your price for each?” She asked. Clearly she was up to something but she seemed serious and not trying to mock him again. Still, her request put him on alert.

“Why should I?” He asked suspiciously narrowing his eyes.

“Let me try and sell them for you and what ever I get more than your price is, shall be mine as my commission. Everyone wins.”

It was brazen and she knew it, but on the other hand she would need coin no matter whether she would be traveling along with him and his obscure company or on her own. So better she got started soon enough to earn some because no one ever knew what tomorrow would bring and how long she would have the luxury of traveling with him.

Thorin sighed and stepped over to a waist high wall where he quickly unfolded his bundle of forged goods and gave her a quick overview of what he had to offer and how much he hoped he would earn with each of them. Keeping the prices deliberately high so hopefully he would not have to pay her too much. Or anything at all.

“Try your luck if you want.” He offered with a shrug.

Ursa nodded and pulled the bundle back together. “Wait at the tavern?”

Again he glared at her with a frown but said nothing. Turned on his heels and walked over to the house with a colorful wooden sign of a singing badger. Without looking back he stepped into the small and well frequented tavern and ordered a meal for two and two tankards of ale before he placed himself in a quiet corner from where he could keep an eye on the whole room and the door.

She would return. He was sure of that. This was her way to test his trust and he forced himself to pass it quietly waiting for her with all the patience he could summon.

It took a good amount of time but when finally the door opened and she slipped into the 'Singing Badger' he realized that his bundle was remarkably smaller and lighter and her smirk was so smug he could not help but hiding a grin himself by taking a deep sip from his tankard.

With all the calm in the world she sat down and began to eat what was her first proper meal in days but if she had thought she would make him nervous by staying silent she was mistaken.

Thorin Oakenshield, if nothing, could be stubbornly patient when he knew he would learn something anyway. So they ate in tensed silence until she could wait impossibly a single minute longer and finally pushed away her empty bowl and shoved the bundle on the table for him to check what she had been able to sell.

Three swords and no less then 5 daggers were gone. All his best pieces sold. Thorin quickly calculated and came up with an impressive amount. Which she silently placed in front of him, carefully counting each coin all into even piles so he would know she was not trying to steal from him. Thorin sat in silence and waited. To be honest, this was what he had expected. The prices he had called had been high but not unreasonable.   The interesting part was yet to come.

“Good work already.” He nodded, as he collected the coins and let them slip into the pouch he carried on his belt. “Now the intriguing part. If you don't mind to tell.”

Quickly she piled up another impressive amount of coins for him to see. Then she separated some, counted once more and shoved them over to him while she began to bind the remaining money into an old handkerchief.

Thorin frowned looking at the new pile of coin in front of him.

“What's this?” he asked calmly.

“What you borrowed me for the clothes.” She nodded towards the pile and a quick count confirmed it was exactly the amount he had paid for her earlier.

With a determined face he shoved it back towards her.

“No way. I said I'd provide for you no matter how we later decide on traveling together.” he objected.

“It's too much.” She insisted. “And since now I can pay for myself I don't want to be in your dept.”

Thorin glanced at her with a long silent look out of serious eyes. “No dept. A gift.”

“Since when dwarves are into gifts?” She asked back with a frown, trying to read his face and what was behind it. But he only remained blank and serious and so there was no way for her to guess what his intentions were.

“I don't have to explain what I do and what not. And why I do it” Thorin stubbornly insisted and shoved the pile of coins back over the table. “And now put it away! We already have drawn too much attention for too much coin we carry. Argue later if you need but for now we should just get out of here.”

At least to this she had nothing to fight about because from the corner of her keen eyes she realized he was right and so without a further word she stuffed the coins into her makeshift pouch to the others and mumbled “Let's be gone, then. But this isn't over yet.”

Thorin shook his head and got up along with her. “Yes. I know.” He sighed but with a quiet grin. It never would be.

[o0o-chibaken-o0o]

Hi! Do you know of any fics where Harry and Draco are both Aurors and have to work together? I've read quite a few but haven't come across one in a while. Either permanently partners or firced together for a single case, both work for me. (Note: I have read everything by l0vegl0wsinthedark so, much as I love reading and rereading What Real Thing, I figured it would better to warn you :D Thank you so much for all of your recs, they are so, unspeakably helpful! :)

(Thank you @celticrose1989​ and @awesomesauceuniverse​ for the requests!! I decided to combine these, since fics in which only Draco is an auror/cursebreaker are pretty rare. I was planning to also combine this with a request for just Auror!Harry (with miscellaneous Draco) to make a giant Auror Drarry list, but it ended up being ridiculously long, so that one will come later this weekend! This one is already super long as-is, so I’ve tried to limit my commentary to 2-3 lines. Let it be known that it was very difficult, hahaha.)

Auror/Cursebreaker Partner Drarry Recs

What Real Thing? by loveglowsinthedark / @l0vegl0wsinthedark (13K)- They don’t cuddle, they don’t talk about their relationship (or lack thereof) and they certainly never fall asleep in each other’s arms.I know you’ve already read it, but you can’t expect me to just not include this amazing sexy pining fluffy piece of wonderfulness in my auror rec list!!! It includes the BEST AIRPORT SCENE (not at an airport) EVER.

Higher and Higher (Temptation) by birdsofshore (28.5K)- Only Harry Potter could manage to put on a magical collar on impulse and find himself unable to take it off again. Now following Draco’s direct orders gives him intense pleasure, and Draco has a whole heap of troubles to deal with, not least the way Potter looks when the collar has him gasping with bliss. The whole situation would test the morals of a saint… and Draco’s no saint.THIS FIC!! EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED. I STILL REMEMBER CLICKING ON IT AND NEARLY ORGASMING RIGHT THERE and it totally does its description justice! Technically Draco is a cursebreaker here.

Two Weeks by shiftylinguini / @shiftylinguini (22K)- If Harry had to guess which out of he or his Auror Partner, and tentative new friend, Draco Malfoy, would turn out to have Veela ancestry, his answer would be: neither, because that is ridiculous. Finding out the answer is actually him, and that his Veela heritage is wreaking havoc on his ability to work, sleep, and above all be in the same room as Malfoy, is a surprise to say the least. But this is fine. Harry’s been through worse, and he can just sit this one out, regardless of how much his body is screaming for the one person he doesn’t want to ask for help. Can’t he?WONDERFUL FABULOUS YES TIMES 96382!! Veela!Harry but like, read it even if that’s not usually your thing. GREAT pining!!! Phone sex. P H O N E S E X.

Lift Your Open Hand by firethesound / @firethesound (19K)- With Draco Malfoy as his assigned partner for the next six weeks of Auror training, Harry had been prepared for things to go poorly. But getting themselves accidentally bonded to each other in the first twenty minutes of their very first assignment seemed going above and beyond, even for them.What could you possibly need that isn’t in this fic? Includes bonding, domesticity, bed sharing, and Nicolas Cage. Perfection

Sex on Legs in Six-Inch Heels by tessacrowley / @tessacrowley (10K)- Draco Malfoy is a brilliant freelance cursebreaker and the only one who can help the Department of Magical Law Enforcement with a very dangerous case, but more importantly, he’s wearing six-inch heels, and Harry cannot handle it, he really just can’t.One of the first fics I read and STILL one of the hottest! The sex is amazing, as is the fact that Draco wears (surprisingly practical!) heels and women’s clothing in general I LOVE IT SO MUCH

Highlands by Seefin / @seefin (16K)- The tent was a joke, that was basically the only explanation he could come up with as to why the Aurors would send he and Draco on a several-month mission with only their most basic model. Once, when Harry had been on one of the big ones, the kind of mission where there was a little Auror camp out in the wilderness, twenty or so tents all pitched practically on top of each other, he had slept in one with two stories. Actually it was more of a mezzanine level, but still. Their current one didn’t even have a fucking toilet. And if Harry were allowed to communicate with anyone other than Draco then he would definitely be lodging an official complaint right about now.This fic is so sweet and slow (despite being only 16K, idk how she does it!). I love the development of their relationship, and being forced into close quarters is especially w o n d e r f u l.

Little Talks by femmequixotic and noeon / @femmequixotic and @noeeon (11.5K)- Draco’s been shagging the Head Auror for months now, and he’s sure it’s just a fling. Until Harry asks him to a Quidditch match, that is, and things go horribly wrong.AAAH THE SEX. Also the adorableness! And the whatthefuckishappening a real DATE??? But THE SEX! And the fluff! Sorry I’m incoherent, just READ IT!

Something More by thusspakekate (9K)- After a night of heavy drinking, Harry Potter has a love bite the size of Wales on his neck and an unsigned note from the man who gave it to him in his pocket. The only problem? He can’t quite remember who he brought home with him the night before. And what’s got Draco Malfoy in such a strop?OMG pining in this one like crazy. It’s obvious why from the summary, right?? Yeah? Just….you’re already feeling the angst, I know it, just read it and let it be resolved

One Big Misunderstanding by agentmoppet / @agentmoppet (7K)- Draco will be the first to admit that his choices aren’t particularly clever, especially when they involve Potter, but this has to be the worst one yet.OH, DRACO. Poor baby sends Harry and Blaise off on a date together and then becomes a jealous wreck and it’s beautiful.

You Send Me (Honest You Do) by firethesound (37K)- As far as potion accidents go in general, and deaging incidents go in particular, Draco knew this could have been so much worse. Harry only lost about ten years, and all his memories are still intact. But the sight of him looking as if he’s stepped straight out of Draco’s Hogwarts memories has dredged up a whole mess of complicated feelings Draco thought he’d buried years ago, and Draco really doesn’t know what to do with any of it.This is a GREAT use of the deaging trope (without being at all creepy btw, so don’t worry!), and Harry has tattoooooos!! Also more pining pining pining

Tales from the Special Branch Series by femmequixotic (304K so far)- When Gavin Robards asks him to form Special Branch seven-four-alpha, Harry Potter knows they’ll have to work outside the confines of the law–even though they are the law.Are you tired of me reccing this series yet? TOO BAD I’LL NEVER STOP MUAHAHA. This list just wouldn’t be complete without it! Who could ever tire of Draco fucking Harry, his senior officer???? NOT ME!!

All Our Secrets Laid Bare by firethesound (150K)- Over the six years Draco Malfoy has been an Auror, four of his partners have turned up dead. Harry Potter is assigned as his newest partner to investigate just what is going on.Another fic I’ve recced over and over because IT’S THE QUINTESSENTIAL BEST EVER CLASSIC AUROR PARTNER FIC IN MY OPINION so it literally cannot be missing from this list.

It’s the Love of the Chase (That Created the Ride) by lumosed_quill (14K)- Draco and Harry are new Auror partners. It’s a bit dull. Until they finally see some spell action and things get a lot more interesting (in Draco’s pants).Basically adrenalin rushes from cases make Harry and Draco crave sex and it’s amazing One Harry Potter Please (If Possible, Seduced and Ready) by faithwood (62K)- All Draco wants is Harry Potter’s friendship, just to make his new Auror job more bearable. However, after Harry stubbornly pays more attention to his secret admirer, Draco is forced to resort to drastic measures.So nearly all long-term-auror-partner fics have flangst because how could they not?? But this one stands out to me as being the FLANGSTIEST (this is a word now) EVER. Like an adorable idiot, Draco impersonates Harry’s secret admirer.

The Kaleidoscope Charm, or 50 Shades of Rainbow Magic by Omi_Ohmy (27K)- Getting Draco Malfoy as a boss was not the worst thing that happened to Harry; getting a crush on him was.Auror!Harry is assigned to work with Draco (of the Curse and Lock Breaking Dept). Also he owns a giant angel statue that looks just like him. ;D

Like Diamonds We Are Cut With Our Own Dust by raitala (11K)- Draco has borne the mark of the Dark Lord for over ten years. It is familiar to him, but he pays the price for it every day, and Harry has noticed.This fic is just so cool. It’s based on “that picture” by alekina, which I coincidentally reblogged just yesterday and is amazing and HARRY REMOVES DRACO’S DARK MARK YEP

Whoo Knew? by oceaxe (19K)- Despite having had a crush on his Auror partner for years, Draco’s been biding his time and waiting for the perfect opportunity to make his case. But when Harry subscribes to a new wizarding personals service, Draco gets a wake-up call. With new each message that arrives for Harry from a hopeful suitor, it becomes more and more clear that the time to act has arrived.MORE AUROR PARTNERS BEING RIDICULOUS PINING IDIOTS UNABLE TO COMMUNICATE, BUT THEY DO IT ALL SO CUTELY. And with owls this time!!

[midnightluck]

@leafyxthiefy​ and I were discussing the sad lack of Disney aus, and then High School Musical mas au was mentioned, and well, look, I ain’t gonna write it, but here’s how it might be done, and if you wanna, please do and tag us?

Izo really loves theater, yeah? And Haruta. They used to put on productions of fairy tales in the living room and rope their siblings into being the cast, and Marco as the oldest ended up trying to direct/help/figure it all out for them, and he somehow just never got out of the habit? and they're in high school and yet he's still doing it and then we have Izo and Haruta as idk a real nice friendly casual ryan and sharpay?

and idk one of his other siblings, probably Thatch???? helps with the music sometimes and he's like, Marco, let's write a love story, and Marco is like nope, no thanks, let's stick to adventures like we do, kay? kay

Thatch is like, "noooooo we've never done a love story" "and I'm not gonna" "c'mon, izo would love it" "but it's a love story" "look we'll throw in pirates, too, okay?" "......" "you love pirates" "......no fair fine, okay"

and oh, it's the tale of roger and rouge

and usually he writes the roles for Izo and Haruta, yeah? with them in mind, which is kinda unfair because they're the stars of the theater dept now because of course they are, and they're amazing, of course, but it's hard for anyone else to compete when the main roles are literally written for them, you know? Only it's love story, and it's hard for Marco to wrap his head around for them, and he starts to drift, starts to go back to the fairy tales, starts to do typical prince/princess stuff.

Only, the princess is boring, so let her snark.

The prince is too perfect, so make him fail.

And somewhere along the line, he starts writing for himself, because he can only write what he knows. The princess becomes a pirate, Rouge, queen of the seas, embodiment of freedom, all sly smiles and snark and slippery, stealing and singing and leading a merry chase, and the poor guy, Roger, chases after her through a series of pratfalls, setting out to be pirate king and blinded by the stars she put in his eyes, and it's ever so fun, with quick teasing songs and a lot of playful exchanges and this one lovely slow duet on a beach in the moonlight

meanwhile, in the background, Ace and Sabo meet at, idk, karaoke. Because Luffy. Nah, wait, that's too au, hang on, we can fix this

they attended the same elementary school. Ace and Sabo were bestest friends and he ran away to their house all the time because his parents were never home  so they didn't know, only one day they had to move and took Sabo with them

...he tried to run away and got hit by a car?

Ace heard, thought he was dead, but he was just in a coma for a while? forgot stuff? and his parents didn't notice because it's not like they've been around anyway?

So Sabo turns inward and studies, because college is the closest escape he can manage, and he's gonna get a full ride and not rely on his parents for anything. He's gonna disappear and be independent if it kills him

boom, science squad Sabo

MEANWHILE Ace likes Disney movies and reading, but his Grandpa wants him to join the military???? he doesn't want to, but Garp is like "ROTC or gtfo" so Ace compromises with sports, because still teams and activities

so he has to sports team, and boom, we get crouching jock hidden nerd, and he lowkey hates it, but it's life, whatever, and if he doesn't want it, well, there's nothing he wants more, so might as well, right?

Until. Until.

So Sabo has this grades thing down, right, but if his parents move him one more time, he's gonna have to start working his way up to valedictorian again, he hasn't got time for this. He needs something to look hella good on college applications, and it needs to keep him out of the house but not take up valuable time and not sports, ugh, teamwork? no thanks, and nothing that requires anything academic, so it's band or theater, really.

He goes theater, maybe he can be like a lighting technician and study in the booth or something, or learn a practical skill like makeup to hide scars; overall a lot more practical than music. So he joins drama and doesn't think twice about actually auditioning.

And that's all well and good except he leaves the library one day to go to drama club and he passes Ace in the hall and Ace doubletakes so hard he almost falls over. It can't be Sabo, it can't--but it looks like him, he walks the same, maybe--maybe???? so screw practice, he follows Sabo to the theater, where tryouts are happening today because plot convenience

"Sabo," he says, and the guy turns around. Same eyes, same face, same suspicious paranoia, same bags under his eyes, same stubborn frown--how could it be anyone else? "Sabo," he says, reaching out, and the guy steps back. "Do I know you?" he says, and Ace goes cold

And he walks away, so Ace chases him all the way to the theater. He gets into a shouting match with has-to-be-Sabo right in the middle on the auditorium, and the theater teacher sighs and says, "if you have something to say, come up here and say it. Obviously you're dramatic enough for the drama club."

Ace storms on stage and yells at Sabo and Sabo yells right back and falls into taunts as naturally as blinking, and it's so easy, and he knows just what to say to get Ace to go red and splutter and chase him, and he also knows the stage and the area because it's his domain, and he bounces around as Ace chases him, yelling at him to come back, and Sabo just taunts and like, hangs over the rail of the fake pirate ship, and Ace throws up his hands and stomps around and says things like, "Why did I even miss you?!" and "I can't believe you forgot!" and "Luffy! Remember Luffy????" and actually--actually Sabo does

Sabo goes soft and says, "Luffy?" and Ace folds his arms and says, "Luffy," and Sabo sinks down to sit, resting his head on the railing as everything falls into place behind his thought, and Ace stands there, looking up, his heart in his eyes, and the teacher yells "Scene!" and Marco stands up from the front row and says, "it's them or I walk."

and of course the problem is that Marco wrote himself a love story, and as Sabo tilts his head and smirks sideways and says the words Marco wrote, of course he'd start to fall in love, because that's what he wrote it for. And every time Ace laughs and gets back up, every time Ace has a passionate, poetic speech, well of course the words cut Marco to the heart because that's what he wrote it for.

And the fact that they work so well on stage is only compounded by their chemistry offstage, where Sabo will drape himself across Ace's back to read the script over his shoulder and Ace will run fingers through Sabo's hair and murmur in his ear on days when the eye-bags are particularly deep. Sabo won't talk about his scars but Ace can touch them, press his hand right up to them, and Sabo will just sigh and go limp. No one's allows to mention Ace's tattoo, but Sabo's allowed to trace the letters with careful fingers. For two high school guys who met a few weeks ago, they're amazingly close, and Marco can only watch it all happen and tell himself that it's good that they're like this. It'll make the play better. It's a love story; that's what he wrote it for, and he never once expected to want it to be his.

And, see, Sabo owes Ace his sanity and Ace owes Sabo his personality, but they both owe Marco for each other and neither one is ever gonna forget that

And Ace goes to Marco to try to "get to know his character" and Sabo goes to Marco to ask if this line needs more vibralto or perhaps this harmony is just--like, could we do it like this? and Thatch is in the background making these awful faces at Marco behind their backs and Marco is Ignoring Him Entirely

Leafy: Sabo being the highish classed boy that he is he may have learned the piano and one day, he could be sitting in the theatre room, his hands lazily playing some sort of ballad, his fingers just glide on the keyboard but like unbeknowest to him, Marco had snuck in because its free period for him too, to like practice some chorus lines for the play and the way that Sabo plays with his serene expression, just looking like he belongs and the way he makes the piano sing, it makes him want to be a part of that, he is captvated and wants to join but?? is he allowed? The pull of the music is too strong tho and before either of them know it, he's there too, his fingers also on the piano now, the little song becoming something more as it turns into a little duet and sabo is startled at first but also?? he has a high respect for Marco and his skills at the piano so its like an honor and all and he loves the sound they create together?? so maybe we?? can like keep doing this if you want, just play

and oh we could probably get a scene in there where Sabo keeps "messing up" in the moonlight duet and Marco sighs and is like, no, like this, and he has to step in to show them and he only meant to do the phrase but somehow he ends up singing the whole love duet with Ace while Sabo watches his every move--for the good of the play, of course.

And Ace just can't seem to get this one bit of choreography right, where he is supposed to pick "rouge" up off the deck and spin her around and into an underarm twirl and Sabo is like, "drop me again and I'll scream, Marco, come show him how it's done" and Sabo is really light on his feet and so responsive it's a pleasure to work with him and he ends up going through the whole number, with Sabo beaming in his arms and Ace's eyes heavy on his shoulders, because he really does have to learn this, you know???

sabo being like, "I can do this backwards in a princess dress and heels, Ace, c'mon" because Sabo probably had dancing lessons. Ace learned to fight from Garp

Thatch is miming throwing up off stage

Everything is happy until a fight, teach, idk, something goes down and the school calls their guardians

Leafy:  they're both like "why are you doing this? what is a play going to do for you? study and get into whatever college" while Garp is like "are you slacking on me, if you cant abandon this silly excuse of a curricular activity then what about military school?"

Leafy: so then Marco has to make things right somehow, like not entirely for the sake of the play but also for like them!! because?? he was so used to being around them and now that they are no longer there he misses them and also, like his two best friends boyfriends are miserable and not in the play together and ?? can we not do all three things? so marco recruits his siblings who happen to be in whatever sport ace is in and sabo's science lab, together they are able to help them keep up with practice/work and the play??

And then the play happens and Luffy drags his cross-clique group to go see it and all the Whitebeard siblings and basically everyone and instead of being about breaking down barriers and stuff it’s a cute little love story about defying your parents’ expectations/being yourself????

idk I’m sure there are ~Morals~ but I dunno what they are

and it ends with mas all happy and Thatch being like, “See? See? I told you a love story was a good idea!”

[gadgetsrevv]

The Fiver | Sprinting in slo-mo and frolicking in the surf with Apollo Creed | Football

HANGING TOUGH, STAYING HUNGRY

After seeing his stand-in goalkeeper make the crucial penalty save to win a Super Pot on his first start for Liverpool, Jürgen Klopp couldn’t help but channel his inner Sly Stallone. “ADRIAN!” he roared down the camera in his post-match interview, mimicking Rocky Balboa’s emotional address to his wife after beating Apollo Creed to become heavyweight champion of the world. What Liverpool’s manager would do well to remember is that in a sequel to that particular success, the Italian Stallion got a little bit too fat and lazy and was subjected to the daddy of all beat-downs from Clubber Lang.

With a trip to Southampton looming in barely the time it takes to cobble together a decent training montage, his side cannot afford such complacency. “We have to find a way to be ready to win that game,” said Klopp, as his players warmed down by donning muscle vests and extra tight shorts, sprinting in slow-motion and frolicking in the surf with Apollo Creed. “Only one team celebrated more than us tonight and that’s probably Southampton when they saw 90 minutes, no decision!” Having bounced back from emphatic defeat at the hands of Manchester United with a far less emphatic defeat at the hands of Liverpool, Chelsea will host Leicester on Sunday.

With one paw already in a play-off against Torino to make the group stages of Euro Vase, Wolves entertain Pyunik of Armenia at Molineux tonight. With his team leading 4-0 from the first leg, Nuno Espírito Santo has stopped short of forcing his players to chop logs or chase chickens, but has warned against complacency. “It’s not over,” he said, even though it kind of is. “It’s going to be over at 10 o’clock. It’s not over. That would be a mistake.” Elsewhere in Euro Vase, the Pope’s O’Rangers will have seen, laughed at and hopefully learned from the Queen’s Celtic’s exit from Big Cup at the hands of Cluj on Tuesday and will try not to make the same mistakes in their match against Danish side Midtjylland. “My players need to take note of last night and make sure we deal with our second leg much better,” said $tevie Mbe, whose side lead 4-2, in the wake of a Queen’s Celtic’s exit that will have put a spring in the step of all O’Rangers supporters.

In other Euro Vase news, Aberdeen are 2-0 down and facing an uphill task if they are to avoid being eliminated the competition by Rijeka, from – Fiver consults Wikipedia – the Croatian port city of the same name on Kvarner Bay in the northern Adriatic Sea. And finally, in Wales, they’ll once again be dancing on the streets of Total Network Solutions, if The New Saints of Oswestry Town & Llansantffraid Football Club can somehow manage to overturn a 5-0 deficit against Ludogorets.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“Barcelona don’t need Neymar. Where is he going to play? He would be a bomb inside the locker room. The Barça fans were hurt by how he left. They will not forgive him” – no, Hristo Stoichkov, tell us how you really feel about Neymar’s potential return to Barcelona.

Hristo Stoichkov: straight shooter. Photograph: Clive Brunskill/Allsport

QUOTE OF THE DAY II

“He’s like an empty crisp packet in the park, flying around all over the place” – Chelsea and Republic O’Ireland legend Tony O’Cascarino offers N’Golo Kanté some poetic praise.

RECOMMENDED LISTENING

Head this way for Football Weekly Extraaaaaa, where Max and Barry are joined by Jacob Steinberg, plus former Jamaican international and prominent podder Marcus Bean. Get it in your ears!

FIVER LETTERS

“While I’m as pleased for Adrián as any Liverpool fan, I can’t help thinking that his widespread description as a ‘penalty hero’ is a bit excessive, given he only stopped one in six (and sort-of gave one away). Still, this new 16.67% benchmark for heroic achievement is going to come in very handy during my next work appraisal” – Tim Woods.

“Noble Francis’ letter about The Queen’s Celtic (not to be confused with any of his other letters) actually did make me smile, which is quite something as I’m a Queen’s Celtic fan, so let me explain. His mention of the 2010 defeat to Portugal’s Sporting Braga created quite a bit of mirth from the Spaniards in the office. You see, braga means pants in Spanish. Rather ironic, considering it was Celtic who were pants” – Paul Dixon.

“Frank Lampard’s Chelsea’s Frank Lampard can be well pleased with his youngsters despite losing on penalties in Istanbul. But surely it was Frank Lampard’s Chelsea pensioners who stole the show. Old, creaky N’Golo Kanté and ageing wrinkly Jorginho were the stars of Big Pot. Might I suggest a comeback for Frank Lampard’s Chelsea’s Frank Lampard?” – Mark McFadden.

“The Queen’s Celtic must have thought their Big Cup fixture was a repeat of the old radio standby, ‘I’m Sorry, I Haven’t a Cluj’” – Nick Adams.

Today’s winner of our letter o’the day prize is … Paul Dixon, who wins a copy of 50 Years of Shoot! We have more to give away, so get scribbling.

NEWS, BITS AND BOBS

Sol Campbell and Macclesfield have mutually agreed that the former England defender be assisted through the door marked Do One. In other news, the League Two club are skint and facing a winding-up petition.

Sol Campbell: ready to try on a new scarf? Photograph: Matt West/BPI/Rex/Shutterstock

USA! USA!! USA!!! superstar Megan Rapinoe has hit back after equal pay talks stalled. “We show up for a game, if we win or lose we want to be paid equally, period,” Rapinoe told Good Morning America.

Things that probably won’t happen dept: Bury South MP Ivan Lewis has called on Manchester United and City to “step up to the plate” and help the crisis-hit club, who have had another League One game suspended by the EFL.

QPR are demanding strong action from Uefa after their U18s were subjected to racist abuse during a friendly in Spain. The Andalusían football federation have opened an investigation.

Meanwhile, Kick It Out has urged social media companies to clamp down after Chelsea’s Tammy Abraham was subjected to racial abuse on Twitter.

Conor Coady might have a touch of carpal tunnel after writing to all 48 Wolves fans who travelled to Armenia last week to watch their side romp to Euro Vase victory.

Flamin’ Newcastle Jets winger Joe Champness is taking a break from bothering A-League touchlines to focus on his hip-hop career. “He’s made inroads in the business and the opportunity to chase those dreams is one that’s too big for him to pass up,” smirked a Newcastle suit.

And Mesut Özil and Sead Kolasinac are reportedly back in Arsenal training after their recent security scares.

RECOMMENDED VIEWING

Colombian tyro Anderson Díaz bobs and weaves like a Tin-addled Weird Uncle Fiver, before adding the playground finish. Get it in your retinas.

Player dribbles past seven opponents to score stunning solo goal in Colombia – video

STILL WANT MORE?

Floating football brain in a jar Jonathan Wilson has done a book. About Hungary’s golden age. And here’s an extract on the roots of their Olympic success in 1952.

Turkish Super Lig previews: we got ‘em. And Emre Sarigul reckons the title race will go to the wire again.

Premier League footballers are more woke than ever before, writes Big Paper’s Toby Moses.

Christian Pulisic and N’Golo Kanté gave Frank Lampard’s Chelsea reason to chin up after their narrow Super Pot loss, writes Andy Hunter.

USA! USA!! USA!!!’s Alex Morgan thinks the country’s development model is broken, though MLS suits disagree. Who’s right? Steve Brenner discusses.

Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. And INSTACHAT, TOO!

THE FIVER FAILED ITS A-LEVELS, AND LOOK AT US NOW … OH

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[goonmilk]

Role Model: Salehe Bembury

This Week’s (Yes Im bringing back weekly role models) Role Model is Head Designer of Sneakers for Versace and Versus Versace, Salehe Bembury. You may recognize him from 2chainz Instagram feed as the designer of the widely celebrated Versace x 2chainz “Chain Reaction” shoe. A shoe that has sport feel but also luxury details and state of the art design. Salehe also noted to design footwear for YEEZY’s SZN 3 and 4 and introducing the world to Cole Haan’s Lunar Grand, a shoe I fell in love with Interning in Nordstrom’s Mens shoe Dept. A dress shoe with a runners sole and possibly the most comfortable dress shoes I ever slid on. Furthermore Salehe is a minority in charge of one of the most iconic fashion houses sneaker division. GOALS as Fuck! He’s creating on a level I dream to be on one day and will be in due time.

Salehe Bembury is a creative by trade. He is most notably making his mark in the world of footwear design. Since 2009, he has applied his Industrial Design degree and interdisciplinary design skills to a diverse array of footwear brands. Salehe got his start at Payless Shoe Source.

 "At the time, [Payless] wasn’t something to write home about,” he said. “But looking back, Payless designs every kind of shoe, so from an education standpoint, it was a great place to get my feet wet.”

                                                                                                   - W Magazine

Notoriety has become more and more prevalent in my success factors these days, as much as I love knowing ever single person who has a piece from my brand and love the underground feel of it, I also want kids all over to be G.O.O.N.S. just as much as my friends. The struggle of getting it out the mud is you don’t want to share your prized possession that you built up with anyone you deem unworthy, but the smallest coincidences give me hope that someone out there is paying attention. Whether it be an RT from one of my Role Models, or actually holding a convo with someone in a position i see myself in, in the future. I feel myself right on the cusp of it all. I want the world to take notice to what I’ve got cooking up over here at GoonMilk. The Hypebeasts, Highsnobiety’s, the W Mag’s of the world need to take notice and soon. But until then I will continue to create and give the props to those who inspire me to keep going and chasing these goals. One day at a time.

[reactingtosomething]

Reacting to Crazy Ex-Girlfriend: The Pilot

Rooting for Her and Cursing Her All in the Same Text

The Setup: Kris and Miri were early adopters (with a caveat below) of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, and Liz binged season 1 once it hit Netflix. Marchae had never seen it, but finally volunteered to watch the pilot for friendship this blog, and Kris rewatched it to React with her.

After the fact, Miri had some reactions to their reactions, and Kris had a few more thoughts. As before, those annotations are in italics.

MARCHAE: Welllllll

I finished it

And took copious notes

And I experienced a variety of things

Emotions about it

KRIS: Is there a particular emotion you want to start with?

Or we can start with your thoughts and feelings that you went into this experience with so our hypothetical readers know where you’re coming from

MARCHAE: K so it was funny so there was that. I don't usually watch comedies so I LOVE when I laugh out loud in real life

I'm gonna go kind of in no order here

Then I was annoyed because I get that's she's "crazy" which is pointed about by her medications and the fact she says it several times

K there's that

And we get she was socially awkward at like 16

But this is a Harvard Yale grad who seems to not have evolved

MIRI: I’m going to refrain from saying “But that’s the point!!!” 8,000 times, for all our sakes

So they kind of make funny of the mental stuff that I don't know was necessary and then they paint her as desperate chasing after a skateboarder

How

Why and again why

KRIS: Hmmm definitely a lot to work with here

MARCHAE: And it there were these flimsy shout outs (sexy getting rest song - which I actually liked a lot) to feminism and double standards that I think they definitely could have played with given how quirky she is

And then there is Paula who why did we need Paula to support this woman insanity about wanting a man from when she was 16

MIRI: Paula’s evolution from Stock Enabling Best Friend to well developed supporting character who enables because of her own pretty clear issues is a really interesting one, but on reflection not super clear in the pilot.

So basically humor and annoyance were my primary emotions

Maybe I thought to hard about it

Oh and there was music 😒

Three times

Like legit musical numbers 😒😒

KRIS: Yes

But they’re fantasy sequences, and not that thing you hate where everyone in the world of the story is magically musical

MARCHAE: **meh** I don't love empire for the same reason but I'll give to you! In our minds we often live it out as a musical

MIRI: Marchae hates musicals so much. She is willing to watch opera though?

KRIS: I’m so torn between wanting to defend the show and wanting to re-examine the pilot on its own terms, because I very rarely come into a pilot completely blind nowadays

I think one relevant piece of background we can start with is that this was originally intended as a half-hour on Showtime

And once they get into the hour-long format I think they do get a lot more in depth with the stuff Sexy Getting Ready Song wants to do

K: Only after we finished this chat did it occur to me to put it this way:

It takes all the things you’d expect a network comedy called “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend” to be about and interrogates them

but with music

MARCHAE: Then that is actually promising

I didn't know that this was hour long until I started watching

It's odd also because as much as I know about the characters at the end of the pilot I simultaneously feel like I know nothing

I'm now curious what half hour would have looked like

KRIS: That’s interesting

I guess let’s start with Rebecca

MARCHAE: I think she may be the primary issue I'm having and you're getting my first reactions here so bare with me

I think it's this juxtaposition I'm having with the notion of the career woman who drops everything for lust/love

KRIS: Is it that you’re not sure how the show wants us to feel about her?

MARCHAE: Yes! I'm not sure if I feel sorry for her

I'm not sure if I even like her beyond the fact that she's kind of just silly

Because the stakes are mismatched for me

Most people aren't just packing up and heading out for a skateboarding boo when they are that successful

So if she'd been forced to leave the job or had an ACTUAL relationship with josh I think the sensation I'm experiencing might have been a bit different

But maybe that's the "crazy" portion of the title

MIRI: Again, this is more of a long view note, but I would say that the greatest risk CEG takes is asking us to stick with the seemingly unfeminist beginnings long enough to see what they’re doing long term with their  deconstruction of the Quirky Romcom Girl. And I’m really really glad the show has been given time to get us there.

KRIS: Yeah, I think so, and now I’m wondering how the Showtime version of this would have played out long-term

There was a little backlash about the title, which surprised Rachel Bloom (the creator/Rebecca) and Aline Brosh McKenna (the showrunner), because to them it was always supposed to be ironic

MARCHAE: Hmmmm interesting

KRIS: So over the course of the show I’ve gone back and forth on whether I “like” Rebecca, but in ways that I think are deliberate

But I think some of the ways the first act sets us up to empathize with her are how we have this off-screen mother who’s throwing Expectations at her, and the butter (?) ad she keeps seeing asking her if she’s happy, which the show knows is ridiculous and maybe a little evil

And especially how her boss lists her qualifications for the promotion, which on paper and out of context would just say “this person burns herself out for the sake of other people”

MARCHAE: I'd be curious to watch the second (third) episode and see how I feel.

I don't need to like the characters necessarily but I don't necessarily "believe" her and not in the way we see Paula not believe her.

I wanted this to push more and I think I expected it (then realized this was a CW show and not much pushing could happen)

So I would hypothesize that on HBO this show would have done a couple of things

1. Tackled the idea of her giving I bet she would have even snapped at mom (who we know from jump is not normal) 2. I also think we she may not have been as "cute" 3. We also would have seen her push the boundaries of the contradictions women face at work and in life

KRIS: The CW definitely lets them push. If I had to guess I’d say that the reason it doesn’t go further here is that they just sort of padded their original 30-minute pilot and just didn’t have the material to fill it. The Daryl introduction scene in particular felt pretty slow to me on this rewatch

And some of the stuff with Greg at the party

Like there’s a lot of dead air in this

MIRI: The scene with Greg was also originally scripted to be much more extreme--a blow job instead of making out, etc. The Vulture TV podcast has a great interview with Rachel Bloom that touches on this!

MARCHAE: Yessss I checked the time a couple of times

KRIS: I think the cuteness is partly commentary, right? On what sort of person Rebecca’s been trained to be? Or do you mean something else

MARCHAE: I think that's part of it, absolutely! But, now this is a drama I'm about to mention so tonally I know it's different... but the show Being Mary Jane

We see Mary kind of a mess at certain points - at no point do we see RB a mess we see her desperate ALL THE TIME

And for me that's problematic

Even in her musical numbers she's perpetually "shiny"

That's what I call shows people in shows that are just too good to be true

KRIS: Well the musical numbers are definitely Rebecca as she wishes she was, or at least (when they’re angry or upset musical numbers) expressing herself with the clarity she doesn’t have in normal life

So are you saying you’re not really seeing big enough highs and lows for Rebecca?

K: Presumably this is where any longtime viewers of CXG are shouting BUT YOU WILL, MARCHAE, YOU WILL, GOOD GOD YOU WILL

MARCHAE: I suppose technically that is it - my long winded explanation is that she just does not have enough emotional variance or maturity. The maturity part I know absolutely part of her character and hopefully will be part of her arc

(I think I think to hard about comedies)

KRIS: No, I think this is definitely a comedy you can overthink

I think the Daryl scene, even though the pacing was weird, was important to provide a situation where the power differential is firmly in Rebecca’s favor

And to just show her in a less emotionally intense context

MARCHAE: But even there she started crying!!! PULL IT TOGETHER WOMAN!!!!!

I wanted to shake her

KRIS: Are you thinking of Greg?

Daryl’s her boss

Daryl cried

MIRI: I LOVE DARYL

MARCHAE: MY BAD!!!

wrong awkward man

MIRI: omg 💕💕💕

KRIS: Hahahaha

MARCHAE: Rebecca probably just screamed: "Now what!! Pay attention next time b****!"

K: I feel it’s important to note that Marchae censored herself here. Miri and I have no such restraint, which may become evident if we React to anything at least one of us hates.

KRIS: OK now that I’m thinking about it, I don’t have a problem with that crying moment in that she’s crying, but it definitely does seem to be where expanding from a half-hour hurt the structure

Because that would normally be end of act two, right, like maybe page 23 in a 30-something page script

And then that Paula scene is the triumphant climax

But they’re maybe too close together in an hour-long format

MARCHAE: So question and I'm cheating because I'm asking about future episodes and arcs

KRIS: Go for it

I don’t know how much you want me to explain so ask away

MARCHAE: Does she ever become more ....

KRIS: And if anyone’s reading this they’re probably caught up

MARCHAE: I guess how does she grow ? Does Paula enable her?

Or push her to be better

Not get better but so better for herself in the romantic dept?

KRIS: Paula 80 percent enables her and 20 percent pushes her

Hmmm yes and no

It’s definitely an up-and-down-and-up-and-down thing

MARCHAE: *cringe*

MIRI: I lied, I’m saying it once and you can’t stop me: That’s the poooiiinnnnttt. It’s a little annoying at first but SO GOOD once you see what they’re doing

KRIS: I’ll say at the end of season 1 she gets what she (thinks she) wants, and by the end of season 2 she’s lost it definitively

(I think they have a five-year plan)

MARCHAE: You had me rooting for her and cursing her all in the same text

KRIS: I think that’s EXACTLY how the show works

So obviously Rebecca’s really smart, and she does grow as a person, but a simplified version of what happens is that whenever she’s about to have a critical self-aware epiphany she gets the thing she wants that she shouldn’t want, and that sets her back

developmentally

MARCHAE: So basically she becomes an infant by the end of the season!!!!

NOoooooo

So now I want to watch the entire show to see how this plays out

MIRI: Yesssss!

KRIS: Did you want to talk about Paula issues?

MARCHAE: I do

But you answered that one for me because I was curious if we see Paula as sort of the antithesis of RB

So is Paula there for the sake of satiating her desire to have some drama in her life via RBs antics

?

KRIS: Yeah pretty much

And you meet her kids and husband

MARCHAE: Sweet grief I can't even imagine that home (actually I can-but I hope it is the opposite of what I'm thinking)

K: I really wanted to defend/say more about Paula but ultimately erred on the side of avoiding spoilers.

I do want to go back a few beats though to the to the fact that the show touches or intros the idea of RB being on some kind of medication for anxiety at the very least

Does the show explore that a bit more

KRIS: Yeah, definitely

You’ll meet her mom and there are some more flashback-y bits

And she gets a therapist

MARCHAE: *thank you to the heavens above ah-men*

Oh good

I was worried that it was just a device to say "hey she's crazy she's on medication!"

I am glad to know it's not!

KRIS: I mean Rebecca’s definitely in denial most of the time but the show knows she SHOULD be working through her stuff in a healthier way

MARCHAE: YES!!!

KRIS: Yeah, I definitely read the sink scene as a legitimate “oh noooo” moment

MARCHAE: That's what I thought - I wanted them to call back to it though in some way. Maybe show her looking for the medication and realizing: "uh yeah, I pitched those"

KRIS: I forget how soon her meds specifically get brought up again but I think right now she definitely just doesn’t think she needs them anymore

MARCHAE: Yeah I definitely over thought that one for sure

But so happy to know they work it out!!!!

KRIS: I should say that it does have the normal problem a lot of shows have, of episodes 2 and 3 being a little shaky (3 more so, if I remember right), but 4 is great

MARCHAE: So I'm in for at least five?

KRIS: Your call! But I definitely think it’s worth it.

MIRI: I actually missed a few episodes after the pilot because I feel second hand embarrassment so incredibly acutely that I wasn’t sure I’d be able to watch this show at all. Got sucked back in about halfway through the season and then went back to catch up.

MARCHAE: A lot to ask for me and a comedy, but curiosity (even for just a character development standpoint) has me wanting to binge

KRIS: There are also some really good supporting characters you haven’t gotten to meet yet

K: I am SO EXCITED for Marchae to meet Heather and Father Brah

If it helps to get through it, Allison Shoemaker does the episode reviews on The AV Club and she’s GREAT

MARCHAE: Ill have to check some of those out!!!

I'm skimming titled and notice we live with Josh all season

KRIS: He’s not really always a major character but they’re definitely through the lens of Rebecca’s obsession

MARCHAE: Which should be interesting it reminds of a thing you see a lot in thrillers (novels in particular) where the center of attention isn't always present but that idea of them makes you want more of them and provides simultaneously more insight into our actual main character

That's kind of cool

KRIS: Yeah

Any other thoughts?

MARCHAE: I think I got em all

NO LIED

Is it always a musical *in tiny tiny voice*

MIRI: Marchae once spent a solid five-ten minutes arguing her case for why tv musicals were not ok. ‘If I jumped up on this table and started singing you would think I was crazy! You’d tell me to get down before I broke my laptop!’ was more or less the gist. Arguments that all forms of media have their own absurd conventions had no impact. Also, she is fine with at least some theatrical musicals. We still love her.

KRIS: I think they average two numbers an episode? Sometimes there’s just one, sometimes they have 3, but I don’t think they’ve ever done an episode without any musical bits.

Or maybe two and a half. They do interesting things with little reprises and callbacks

But they cover a really wide range of styles

Daryl gets a country number

But Daryl also gets a bizarre electronica number

So

Yeah

MARCHAE: I did just shake my head in actual real life

KRIS: HA

MARCHAE: I guess you can't win em all

KRIS: There’s definitely white girl rapping

But it’s also kind of a highlight of the season?

(I’m listening to the soundtrack now to remember things)

MARCHAE: Lawd Jesus *insert spiritual humming and rocking and sings peace be still*

I'll make it!

It's a trade off. I think it'll be good

I think we got all my big questions

And small ones

KRIS: Go us

When you come to LA maybe we should go to West Covina

I actually have no clue if that’s a good idea

MARCHAE: HAHAHAHAHAH

I should google map it and take a gander

We hope we’ve successfully bullied Marchae into watching more of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, and if so, we’ll be sure to check back in for a mid-season and/or finale follow-up post!

[listentotheland]

A performance conceived for Chris Reeves’ and Aaron Walker’s Expanded Art History for Plants #4: The Sound of Utopia at the University of Illinois, Chicago, May 11 2016, then reconfigured for the Hothouse Archives conference at NYU in November 2018, organized by Suzanne Anker and Sabine Flach. A version extended over 4 weeks was performed in April 2019 at Anytime Dept., Cincinnati, during the exhibition Songs the Plants Taught Us. The fourth installment of EAHFP sails around Sir Thomas More’s island of Utopia, attempting to wrap its head around the idea that we will never know what More actually sounded like. What more (or More), critical consensus has never been reached on just what More meant of the Utopia island’s musical entertainment section: Musica Reservata. What IS agreed upon, however, is that whatever this music is, it is something new: a relationship between words and sound, symbolic expression & artistry unheard of. Imagining that More’s Utopia band were to be present today, what might they sound like? EAHFP #4 anchors into the sand, sets up speakers, and attempts to deliver an aural equivalent of the sound of Utopia in all its contemporary glory. (Reeves/Walker) Named after Luis Eduardo Luna’s recordings of Peruvian ayahuasceros’ healing songs, this “bad music” seminar features strange vinyl recordings inspired by plants, gardens and agricultural utopian thought like Charles Fourier’s: “A group of Maiden Strawberry-growers arrives at the end of the session. They have been cultivating a strawberry-ringed glade in the neighboring forest.” Selections will be played from bizarre horticulturally-inspired records accompanied by readings and discussion of plant-human relationships, myths, and metaphors. The seminar kicks off with Morgan Fisher’s “Jerusalem,” 1980, that scores William Blake’s story of Jesus’s visit to Glastonbury, “…England’s green & pleasant land,” but which buries this alternative UK national anthem beneath a cacophonous musical collage. Post-punk selections include Rudimentary Peni’s “The Gardener,” 1981, a worryingly benign paean to gardening from Nick Blinko’s band, best known for anarcho-noise. Also featured are TV Personalities’ “In A Perfumed Garden,” 1982, and The Mud Hutters’ “Cultivation,” 1980, that includes the lines “Cultivation, cultivation / Hit it in the head / Culture, culture.” We listen to hallucinogen casualties like crooner Johnny Arcesi whose ode to a leaf, simply titled “Leaf,” was self-released as Arcesia on the remarkable 1971 LP Reachin’. Rodd Keith, the greatest song-poem performer, sings “Stroll Through the Wildflowers,” from the late 1960s. Keith’s exceptional skill could turn any poetic drivel into astonishing music, but his misplaced commitment to pay-per-song work was supporting a serious drug habit. Still on the hallucinatory side of flower power is Pastor John Rydgren singing “Dark Side of the Flower,” 1968. The original hip priest with the sexy voice, a Lee Hazlewood for Christians, Rydgren’s lyrics include the presciently rhizomatic “Can love survive, clinging only in one small garden?…They feel their roots deep in the soil, their roots touching the roots of other flowers.” We will also try to discuss the incomprehensible work of enigmatic Dutch singer Harry Merry whose “Village Life in 1905,” 2005, validates his claim to be influenced by The Beatles, Disney, Charles Dickens, Mozart, Beethoven, and Wagner: “Near the hay / I will stay, / Because I like it here / And now in the year 1905 / I feel so alive; cosy village-windmills; mud-hills / Tulips of large amount / Make me all think of thou / Lalalalalalala…” In the interests of no soil left unturned, we will evaluate vinyl records promoting controversial theories of plant-human communication starting with Ann Chase’s A Chant for your Plants, 1976. Chase’s sleeve notes explain that a plant “may become emotionally involved when sexual relations are performed near it” and recommends to “Place your favorite plant in your bedroom and see what happens.” In her 1973 The Sound of Music and Plants Dorothy Retallack’s contested research reveals the right melodies to stimulate plant growth. However, her pseudo-science, informed by prior “study” concerning the effects of prayer on plants, may have been compromised by an open dislike for rock music and her support for Nixon’s War on Drugs. Dr. George Milstein’s Music To Grow Plants, 1975, may have the edge on Retallack as his plant-stimulating sounds “have been electronically embedded in this record” where “Every effort has been made to camouflage them.” Only the careful listening and analysis of our seminar can arrive at a verdict on these compelling assertions.