#children ages 7 and up i just. um. wow lol. it's been a while since i saw something this dark in a kid's show. i like it

[coulsonlives]

This is a Y-7 show

[torivikachu]

I was just listening to Hamilton AGAIN - yeah I just put it on while working all the time - and it just hit me how really relatable Hamilton (or I mean, Lin-Manuel's interpretation of him) is. well, at least for me.

if you're wondering if this is worth your time it is NOT

anybody except me likes lists? I like lists. so let's make a list!

also let's see how many quotes can I fit into this post

whoa, I am excited about it.

1. the moment he meets Aaron Burr, he just sorta searches for something to bond over. like, hey dude I heard you went to Princeton? I wanna go there too, let's bond over it! by the way, I punched someone there lol I swear I am not stupid aand Burr, like um, no, thanks really, I better go, you seem violent, my parents wanted me to go there, okay, and Ham like WHOA YOU AN ORPHAN? WOW I AM TOO IT'S LIKE FATE OR SOMETHING LETS BOND and Aaron like wtf dude just shut up

and honestly that's just me, if I meet a person I like I will latch onto anything and I get sorta...fixated? so yeah, this dialogue is relatable as fuck

2. and Alex doesn't shut up, but then he goes all or am I talking too much?

bro, your anxiety shows.

3. and he keeps ranting all through the show, but his rants seem to charm everybody while I think mine just annoy and scare away? whatever, moving on, with Washington asking him why are you upset and he's replying IM NOT like a fucking teenager and it's probably a small thing but it's relatable as hell

4. and then once he is given permission he dives and buries himself into work, never does things halfway and is eager to take on more responsibilities and do something new and is just generally non-stop and while I can only wish for same energy as he, I like to have a lot of work aswell (well I sure as hell whine about it a lot but Hamilton does too! what's with I havent slept in a week I was weak I was awake you've never seen a bastard orphan more in need of a break)

5. he's flirty and has no qualms with innuendos. and very forward with his feelings? like you strike me like a woman who has never been satisfied sounds like a pickup line that either gonna win him a lot more than a number or fail miserably. he's like going all out, wearing his heart on his sleeve, and if it takes fighting a war for us too meet it will have been worth it and like seriously? yeah, flirt with every person in the room without skipping a beat, why not? he literally said on one intake of breath mr lafayette hard rock like lancelott i think your pants look hot laurens i like you a lot. he compliments people, he just throws it out instantly, most times he meets someone for the first time he compliments them and it's kind of my strategy too? it's not even a strategy, I just blurt out everything I like about a person once I meet them. it's like embarassing, because I liked a piece of jewelery on my co-worker once, and she was talking about something important while I could barely keep up because I kept thinking wow it looks great I gotta let her know. this strange need of mine to voice all thoughts annoys even me sometimes,

6. and then again, when he is angry or doesn't like something, it's painfully obvious. I don't tend to sprout profanities to people I don't like or saying stuff like madison you mad as hatter son take your medicine or you must be out of your GODDAMN mind or you absolutely right John should have shot him in mouth that would've shut him up but I can't school my face so it is always transparent what I am thinking about so my dislike is noted and not appreciated. it got me into enough embarassing situations. actually when studied in lyceum (like a sort of highschool) we had a principal and she addressed us as children and told us to call her mom and every time I was like WHAT THE HELL. I remember her eyes landing on me one time she said that and she almost did a doubletake at my facial expression. so the I'M NOT YOUR SON sentiment is not lost on me.

7. he speaks his mind when he thinks advice is in order? um if you love this woman go get her or for once in your life take a stand with pride. I tend to do it too, because I get winded up pretty fast, and I don't think it's always wise, because it's easy to judge from outside. I am pretty much sure that is the reason one of my friends back from school stopped talking to me. she had a bit of situation with her boyfriend and I still think her boyfriend is a piece of shit and she shouldn't have accepted him back, but whatever. wasn't my place to give advice, apparently

8. he gets overexcited? gentlemen of the jury I am curious bear with me are you aware that we are making history? like really I can't imagine ever getting like that at court. well I can imagine, because I get overexcited too, but saying that out loud? i'd be mortified

9. he's never satisfied? I know I already sorta covered it already, but it's more about him eager to learn and do more and feeling that what he's done and learnt is not enough, never enough. I so feel him on this, it's like yeah sure I know 4 languages, but that can't be enough can it? yeah I've got one degree but that's just ONE DEGREE that's like minimum I gotta get more

10. I know I talk too much I'm abrasive and I am not quoting Hamilton I am talking about myself thank you very much

11. he's a whiny bitch: but they don't have a plan they just hate mine -oh yes- or whatever it is Jefferson started it -huh yes sure-

12. forgetting your sons birthday? I forget my own age, sis. these little details just escape my attention. I like forgot it was my boyfriend's birthday this year - we literally live in the same flat. it took me a couple hours and a reminder from facebook. literally. and then I'll try to get away - hahaha it's like me saying to my parents - oh sure I'll some visit in a couple of months (they live in another part of the country) and then in a half a year being like oh wow when was the last time I went home

13. oh, here comes some more heavy stuff - say no to this. I was in a couple situations where I lost this battle. I think I have some polyamorous tendencies? but I am also very posessive and jealous, yeah, not a great mix, I know. so, I might have sorta dated two girls at one time once. well, not really dated, we were just bi-curious with one? we were friends, just... um, trying things. and then at some point I met another girl and it escalated pretty quickly and we sorta got together (oh my god the whole situation was a mess I was so confused about my sexuality back then and so ashamed you have no idea) and I didn't break it off with the first girl, but it was okay since we weren't... a thing? they knew each other but had no idea I slept with both of them. well we haven't really gotten that far with the first one but. and then the other asked at some point if she's the only one I do this with and I lied and a month into this endeavor I realized it was too much and sorta stopped seeing the first girl. we also stopped being close friends pretty soon afterwards. all my "lovestories" are embarassing actually, but this one is also the one I am most ashamed of. and then there were many situations in life when I was attracted to multiple people at the same time and ugh, I don't know, I kind of hate it, honestly. cheating is not okay. it is okay if everybody is okay with the polyamorous relationship though, but I never got to do it. so, yeah Ham's a dick but so am I

and on that depressing note I wanna wrap it up because I sorta killed the mood with that story. i think that's called oversharing?

if you actually read it to this point - wtf, you have nothing better to do or what?

I am not even gonna tag it so people don't have to scroll over that shit while searching for good content really I just like writing

the whole time I've been writing this my cat just kept staring at me. unblinkingly. I can feel her JUDGING ME

[youremyonlyhope]

Nikola Tesla’s Night of Terror

BBC-America isn’t working on my tv for whatever reason, so I guess I’m watching this on my computer instead.

Wow, at 7:55pm Spectrum logged me out of BBC America’s website because my brother logged on in Jersey, and my mom has her phone playing the news. I had to get my mom to log off of her phone. Could have avoided this if my TV would just let me watch BBC America.

Also that’s just plain rude that I had Underworld playing in the background of my computer for 30 minutes since that’s what was on before Doctor Who, and then once my brother logs in it decides to log me out rather than just not let my brother log in.

NOW LET’S FINALLY START THIS EPISODE. And pray that no one in my family logs back on before 9:15.

NIAGARA FALLS. Someone remind me to find that old skit. Found it! Slowly I turned... Step by step... Literally goes through my head if someone says Niagara Falls. I love the period dress on the companions. And then Doctor’s just normal. The Doctor fangirling over Tesla is me too. Aww Yaz convincing Ryan to jump. Silurian!? Like. Madame Vastra Silurian? See, I thought the Doctor was calling Tesla a liar because she knows something about the Tesla/Edison rivalry that we don’t or something. I’m glad it’s about something happening currently. I might end up typing less since I want to watch the episode in full screen, so I’m adding most of this during commercials. Normally I just watch my tv and type without looking at the keyboard. Also, I have taken the train from Niagra Falls back to New York, so I love this. “Central Park?” “Yes! Now that has been around for ages.” Um. Has it? What about the black villages that were displaced to create the park? “You don’t belong in America” Things never change. Just the target does. Oh the Doctor’s shirt is red this time. Has that happened before? Did I just not notice? I normally notice costume stuff... “I made it, mainly out of spoons.” Love it. I love Tesla and the Doctor bonding.... Oh no. Ohhh noooo I’m getting Van Gogh vibes. Am I gonna be sad? I’m already sad about Tesla’s story in general. Am I gonna be sadder? Oh Edison sucks. “Who has the patent?” Oh wow he really sucks. Oh god Edison REALLY sucks. Wardenclyffe. I gotta look that up later. Well.... OK. He killed everyone. Great. Her face when she said “...This is your chemical lab... PERFECT!” was amazing. ...It’s a scorpion?... Oh of course they came for Tesla. Oh fantastic. Scorpions everywhere. IS THE COUSIN OF THE RACNOSS?! Well. The Doctor did say ancient people used those orbs... if they’re related then yeah makes sense. I forgot Edison was here... GET YOUR HANDS OFF THE TARDIS. It’s so interesting that aliens would pick a man from the early 20th century over anyone from further in a (hopefully) more advanced future. I liked Graham calling out Edison. Queen of the Skithra this time, Empress of the Racnoss before. The Doctor says she’s messy... didn’t she insult the Master a few episodes ago for being messy too? “The external dimensions transcends the internal.” “Spot on!” Awwwwwwww. I’m suddenly remembering that I can’t remember how Tesla died or if he’s one of the people who history just sort of... lost. Hmm...

Also, I literally did not sleep last night and worked for a full day and just ate a bunch of fried food and it is a wonder that I’m still awake after like 32 hours straight... But even though I am loving this episode I can feel the exhaustion kicking in.

“You do realize that it’s killing Edison that they want you and not him.” LOL “Tesla came up with WiFi?” Oh shut up Edison. “Oi! AC/DC.” Wait. No. AC/DC can’t stand Alternating Current Direct Current can it... no... Ok I gotta google that later. [Update: Yes. That is exactly what the band is named after. AC/DC written on a sewing machine. And I am stupid because there is literally a lightning bolt in their logo.] I guess i’m glad Edison’s helping... but he’s still insulting Tesla while doing it... Oh I really love Tesla. Oooooh it’s blue on the inside of the TARDIS again. “The present is theirs. I work for the future. And the future is mine.” Awwwwwwwwwww. That was sweet. Tesla still deserves better.

JUDOON. CYBERMAN. AND THE MASTER’S BACK?! HEY THAT WAS DEKKER FROM CHILDREN OF EARTH AKA UNCLE KEVAN IN GAME OF THRONES. And... did I maybe see a chameleon arch or did I imagine it... I feel like that was in the series trailer...

I’m scrolling through Tesla’s wiki page, and shoutout to Doctor Who’s set designer. I’d noticed the giant circular thing in the background and thought it was a giant clock or something, but it’s a spiral coil that Tesla really had in his laboratory.

I like that this episode was another historical episode that makes you want to look up the things afterwards. I got a little lost in Tesla’s wiki page there. And then I started dozing off. But I woke myself up enough to proofread this and press send.

I’m glad they didn’t try to pull a Vincent and the Doctor and have the Doctor be like “Tesla, don’t worry, people love you, we all use your inventions” because they don’t love him and we use his inventions without knowing he helped create them. People barely know who Tesla is. I only know who is because of a book I read in probably middle school that was like... historical fiction that was supposed to be sorta based on fact and he was a character in it. What was that book... it took place on the Titanic I think... which I am 99% sure Tesla was not on. But anyway, if it wasn’t for that book I’d have no idea who Tesla was at all. I’d definitely never heard of Wardenclyffe.

Update: Like 4 hours later I realized that I spelled Nikola wrong in the title. Also I still have not gone to bed yet. Well that’s a lie, I’m lying in bed now. But I’m not asleep yet. 37 hours and counting.

[starfiresupernova]

11 Questions

I was tagged by both @jiyamarrii & @chasethesun18 to do this, so I’ll be answering 22 questions. But I love these things so I’m totally okay with it LOL. Anyway, let’s get started!

Laura’s Questions

1. Marvel or DC? TV-Verse or Film-Verse? Why? — The easy answer to this question is that I like all superhero stuff. I tend to watch more Marvel, but I’m a big fan of both. MCU? Yes please. Smallville? Sign me up. I haven’t watched the Marvel Netflix shows yet, but I really want to. Cloak and Dagger on Freeform is pretty good so far! I watched the first two seasons of Arrow and most of the Flash, but since the CW added all the other DC shows to their programming, I’ve been a little overwhelmed, but they’re still good! So yeah, long story short, I like it all :)

2. I’m looking for new TV shows to watch. Recommend me a show and tell me why you think I’d like it. — I can’t remember if you’ve watched Gilmore Girls or not, but I recommend it to everyone who wants something funny and heartwarming, but heartbreaking sometimes, too. Lorelai is my SPIRIT ANIMAL. Otherwise, I recommend Lost in Space on Netflix if you’re into Sci-Fi stuff (it’s also funny, and the characters are amazing). One Tree Hill is amazing if you’re into soapy teen dramas (like 90210 or Gossip Girl). The awesome thing about OTH though, is that it’s obviously drama, but it deals with other serious topics and it isn’t bitchy like GG. The characters are all different in their own way, and it’s my favorite teen drama show of all time.

3. Watch a random episode of Timeless. Tell me your opinions on the episode and I’ll try to guess which episode you watched. — Okay, so I know each episode like the back of my hand, so let’s go. It’s my second favorite episode of the entire show. The music is A+. (You’ve probably already guessed it by now lolol.) It has one of my top 5 favorite Lucy outfits. I’ve seen this episode so many times I’m pretty sure I can almost recite it word for word (and I’m not sorry about that).

4. Do you have a skin care routine? If yes, what is it? — Not really. I don’t use much on my skin to tell you the truth. I use the St. Ives Blackhead Clearing green tea scrub every other day, and once in a while I’ll use a Biore charcoal pore strip. Other than that I don’t use anything.

5. What are your favorite pair of shoes? Why? — This might sound completely childish, but I LOVE my shoes that have daisies on them. I got them at Payless, and they’re Minnie Mouse brand, but they’re black with little daisies printed on them and I love them so much. I need a new pair soon because they’re a few years old and they’re worn, but I love them to death.

6. What is your phone wallpaper? What is your desktop wallpaper? — My lock screen on my phone is a picture I found on Google Images of Timeless. It’s blue and has the Time Team and the Timeless logo with a cloud. My home screen on my phone is a cotton candy-esque background. My desktop wallpaper is the Timeless edit I made with the Taylor lyric “Time won’t fly, it’s like I’m paralyzed by it.”

7. If you could have dinner with one person, dead, alive, or fictional, who would it be and why? — I really want to say Lorelai Gilmore (or anyone from Gilmore Girls, honestly..) for this one. Eating at Luke’s Diner? Yes. Please. I’m all in.

8. What’s your favorite smell? Why? — This is very oddly specific, but I have this notebook that I got for Christmas last year. And every book/notebook/paper smells good, but THIS NOTEBOOK. It’s my favorite kind of paper smell. I know, it’s weird, but it’s amazing. Otherwise I love lemon, vanilla, and peppermint scents and the smell of the grill when we grill hamburgers/hot dogs.

9. Do you have any tattoos? If yes, what are they? Do you regret any of them? — I do not have any tattoos, but I want to get one in the near future.

10. What is your horoscope for today? —  Jun 11, 2018 - You enjoy caring for others and you intervene regularly in their lives to guide them. Ironically, today you're the one who needs advice. You'll probably need to get away from it all in order to get a clear view of your own life, Leo. You could even decide to make the necessary arrangements for a trip abroad.

11. Beards: Yes or No? — UM YES.

(OBVIOUSLY I NEEDED TO INCLUDE WYATT’S MAGICAL BEARD)

I also love Xavier from No Tomorrow, Hugh Jackman, and John Krasinski. Their beards are also pretty magical.

Ryan’s Questions

1. If a book becomes a movie do you read it or watch it first? — Most of the time I don’t realize a movie was a book until after I see it. And then I always end up liking the movie better. (IE the Twilight saga) I always try to read the book first, but sometimes I’ll just watch the movie. 

2. What’s your favorite Disney movie? — OOH OKAY LET’S GO. Tangled is my favorite all-animated Disney movie. Meet the Robinsons comes at a second. Enchanted is my all-time favorite Disney movie EVER. My Favorite Martian is my favorite all-non-animated Disney movie. Also The Princess Diaries comes at a close second.

3. If you could have one superpower what would it be? — If I got to choose I would want to have telekinesis. Matilda has solidified that dream LOL.

4. Do you believe in soul mates? — I’m not sure, to tell you the truth. I don’t like to think that there’s only ONE person in the entire world that I’m meant to be with, and that they’re my other half. I mean, it’s a nice concept, but also I feel like I would just be too worried that I won’t ever meet my soulmate because it could literally be anyone in the entire universe. I’m meh on the subject.

5. What’s your happiest memory? — Honestly I think my most happy memories are when I was really little, like in early elementary school? Like, ages 5-11 is when I think I was most happy. And don’t get me wrong, I’m really happy now and whatever, but I have more responsibility now and I was more carefree back then. One memory that sticks out is Christmas of 2010. I got my DSi XL and I was at my grandparents house with all of my cousins. We played around on the DS and took pictures, and I still have them saved on it. The very first picture I ever took on it. It was just such a happy time for me, and I love thinking back on it.

6. Most embarrassing memory? — I threw up in front of my entire classroom in 4th grade. It was terrible. And it happened so long ago, but I still can’t get over the fact that there are people my age who saw me throw up on the floor of our classroom. Nope. Let me go hide forever LOL.

7. Where do you see yourself in five years? — I don’t really like to plan that far ahead into the future, but in five years I’d like to be moved out of my parents’ house and working on getting my book published. (I’m still working on writing it at the moment, so hopefully I’ll be done with it by then and in the process of finding it a home.)

8. Who is/has been the most influential person in your life? — I have to go with my parents on this one. But only personality-wise. I’m not interested in what my parents do for a living, but I try to model my work-ethic and values after them. I’ve obviously grown my own personal tastes, but I see more of myself in them every day and I’m very proud of that.

9. If you could time travel to the start of this year and tell yourself something what would you tell yourself? — You won’t have everything figured out yet, and that’s okay. You’ll be pressured, but take things at your own pace. There’s nothing wrong with taking time to figure things out, no matter what everyone is telling you. You’ll get to where you want to be, you just have to take your time, and set your own pace.

10. What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done? — Wow, okay, this is going to sound lame. Are y’all ready? I stole a toy camera from Goodwill when I was, like, 6. I wanted it but I didn’t think my dad would let me, so I hid it in my coat pocket and never told anyone. That was literally the first thing that came to mind.. 

11. What’s your favorite thing about yourself? — I love that I don’t waver in my enjoyment of things. My sister mainly, always makes fun of me for wearing what I wear, for reading, and for listening to the kind of music that I listen to, but I’m very proud of all of those things and I don’t let it bother me. Yeah, it gets annoying when she tells me my taste in music sucks, but I will very happily listen to Two Weeks Late by Ashley Monroe at a high volume and sing along proudly. No shame. As Jessica Day so proudly states, “I break for birds! I rock a lot of polka-dots. I have touched glitter in the past twenty-four hours. I spend my entire day talking to children. And I find it fundamentally strange that you’re not a dessert person. That’s just weird and it freaks me out. And I’m sorry I don’t like Murphy Brown, and I hate your pantsuit; I wish it had ribbons on it or something to just make it slightly cuter. And that doesn’t mean I‘m not smart and tough and strong.” 

Thanks for the tag, guys! This was fun :)

[inspirationallyinsane]

December 11 2020

Hi Tumblr :) it has been such a long time since I have written anything. I would like to say it is because my life has been crazy or busy or even interesting. But that is not the case. I think that I haven't written simply because I haven't felt like myself in a long time. It's funny, I still call myself a writer. Like if someone were to ask me who I am or what my interests are; I would always say I'm a writer. I consider it a core part of my identity and yet I can't seem to do it. Sad, isn't it? Anyway. The last time I wrote I think I was going to Key? Right? From Chase? Over a year ago now? Haha. Yikes. I won't write too much about Key Bank but I will say that it broke my soul a little bit working there. It was an odd place. A group of fully grown adult women, acting like high school children. And I would talk to the people around me about it and unanimously the response was more or less shock at the things that were happening there. I don't know. I cried a lot during that time. I remember my depression and anxiety from HS and it doesn't even compare to how it was at Key. I had never wanted to be less alive than when I was working at Key. I am young, but I can say confidently, I will never have a worse job. Ever. Which is comforting in a way. If I can get through that BS I can probably get through anything. Lol. But! Out of all bad things comes good, right? I don't believe that necessarily, but in this case it is true. As always, my disdain for my workplace inspired me to get something better. I decided that I didn't want to fuck around with banks anymore and that I was ready to start my career as an actual financial advisor. So I applied to three different firms and, no surprise (not really, it's a huge surprise, I'm in no way qualified to be an FA right now), I landed a job at one of them. So I was hired to be a financial advisor at AIG retirement services, and I began studying for my tests. I worked at Key for about 3 months after I was officially offered the position at AIG. I was studying for the first test I would need to take, the SIE. I ended up quitting (sort of) in August. Key found out about the AIG thing and they weren't happy to say the least. But. What do they expect? I told the district manager directly that I was being bullied at my branch and I had other people confirming that fact. Not to mention that when I was hired they knew my ambitions, I told them, I wasn't trying to hide anything and I didn't spring anything on them like oh no way? I wanted to be an FA in a year. I was told that would happen when I was hired. 5 months in I was told that it would take 3-5 years to even get an assistant position. I'm not doing it. And obviously I am a very talented individual. I have had enormous success in my career in 3 short years. You can't hire someone like that and expect them to sit in a boring ass banker job for 3 years. It's not who I am. Hire someone else. Um. But, the AIG job is in Eugene. So I had to move! It actually all worked out really nicely though because the fires in Medford left my brother without an apartment right around the time I was looking for something in Eugene. We were able to get him into my and Trent's old apartment within about a month, and I found the cutest little place in Eugene. I love my apartment. It is technically a one bedroom but I turned it into a sort of studio with an office. I figure I'm not going to be having people over all that often, so a living room or entertaining area isn't important to me. I love my office space, it is so perfect, especially since AIG is work from home until who knows when. It is considerably smaller than my apartment in Medford was though. But! I have been saying for so long that I wanted to get rid of stuff, cleanse my life. I ended up getting rid of a lot more than I actually needed to. And so my place is a little empty, maybe? Not terribly empty but there's just a bit more that I could have. I don't want to buy more things though. Everything I have is because I truly want it. And that's a cool feeling. Really knowing everything you own. I think people often have things that they don't even realize they have. They don't know their own possessions. I know for sure I didn't. Before I went through my things, I thought I knew, but there was so much stuff that I had no idea about. Craziness. There is too much stuff in this world. Anyway. I'm all set up in my new place, the only super sad thing is being so far away from my family. Trent decided that he couldn't come with me. He is doing so well at his job and I'm really proud of him but it is hard to be without him so much. This is the longest relationship I've ever had by far. And there have been ups and downs, but at the end of the day I don't want to be without him. He was here all week and he's actually asleep in my bedroom right now as I write in my office. It's kinda a nice domestic little picture. I miss him constantly when he isn't here. We talk on the phone though and we have our games we play together. Recently he got me into WOW. I had a lot of fun leveling but since reaching 50 I haven't played much. We gotta get back to it. Essentially though things are going well with Trent and as of now I see us being together for a very long time. I will say that I haven't always been so confident in our relationship but somehow I think we have actually gotten stronger. The moving stuff was stressful. I'm glad we got through it. And of course I miss my mom and my dad. It's hard. I enjoyed our weekly lunches and I liked going over for dinner every once in a while. I still talk to my mom on the phone, my dad too but just less often. It's not the same though. Fortunately because of the holidays I have been able to go down to Medford at least once a month for the last few months, and I'll be going for Christmas too. I'm hyped about the gift Kodiak and I got for my parents. I think they're gonna love it. Definitely unique. It's hard to be alone. I feel kinda bad because I know Jonno is here and I should text him and hang out with him and it's not even that I don't want to but I have been struggling a lot emotionally since being here. My anxiety has been unbearable. It's an all day every day sort of affliction. I have never had such intense and frequent panic attacks. I actually ended up seeing a psychiatrist and getting a prescription for anti anxiety meds. I haven't taken them and I'm starting to do better. It helps when Trent is here. I've been trying to help myself. I'm trying to go on daily walks to the park next to my house, I'm trying to eat better, although most days I've had a hard time eating at all. I'm trying to get out and put myself in situations where I will see other people or be preoccupied. I'm finally feeling maybe up to starting a stream. I think that will be good for me. Anyway. That's all to say, I've just kinda been suffering since moving here. I don't want to say that it was a bad decision coming here, or accepting the job with AIG because being at Key was worse, just differently. Intense anxiety vs deep depression? I'll take the anxiety apparently, because I've dealt with anxiety so much that even though when I have panic attacks the physical symptoms suck ass, I know exactly what it is and exactly how to get through it. Being suicidal? That one is harder to know how to fix. Haha. Anyway. Back on track. I haven't been able to finish my testing for my FA position yet. Um and I have essentially been out of work for 6 months. So. I was definitely ready to go back. I ended up getting a job at Starbucks a little bit ago. It was fun. My manager was very nice to me. I learned a lot about coffee. I had no idea it was such a complicated subject. My manager's whole life was Starbucks. He had worked there for over 20 years. He knew everything there was to know about coffee and about Starbucks. It's very cool but at the same time I kinda wonder how a person is satisfied just being a SB manager for their whole life. Like, at the end of that day, are you satisfied with your accomplishments? I hope he is. I could never be, but I think that might be a flaw. I ended up having to quit after only two weeks though because I had a phone call with one of my partners (?) at AIG and we decided that I could start as a part time advisor assistant until I finish my testing. My 7 is scheduled to be soonTM so. It wouldn't be too long but it'll be a nice introduction to the company, and allow me to start working with some of the other FAs before becoming one of them. I start that position on Monday. Um. I'm actually really excited. They offered me more money than I thought I would get. And the hours are fantastic, and it is work from home. I mean. Could there be a better position? I don't think so. So far everyone from AIG has been just so awesome and accommodating. I have had some administrative issues, like with my U4 and testing and start dates, but ultimately I think it is going to be great working there. Hm. What else? I've been playing a lot of league. LOL is my favorite game ever. I love it so much. I love watching it and playing it and even thinking about it gives me joy. I have gotten a lot better since Trent and I started dating. I think it's because I am with him that I wanted to be better. Back when I started playing and it was me and AG I never felt much motivation to focus on the intricacies of the game, or even learn different champions or positions because the person I was playing with was... not really better than me? It's hard because he was at first but I didn't have to play the game right to be better than him. But! I always saw Trent as this like, pro LOL player ya know? I thought he was just so good and I always felt kinda bad playing with him cuz we would drag him down in the games. So when we started dating I was like, I want to be as good as he is. I want to get to his level so we can play together and it won't be uneven. I mean. Y'all know how competitive I am. I think now I can confidently say that I am. Not at all the champions but I am confident in my gameplay, particularly as ADC. I've played a lot. But it feels good. Oh! I've also gotten into playing words with friends with my grandma. Nams is so awesome. I love being able to play her favorite game with her and chat with her every day. It had been soooo long since we talked and so when she called me a week or so ago I mentioned that WWF might be fun for us to play together and keep us connected more. And it definitely has. Such a beautiful thing. That has been helping with my anxiety too. She makes me smile. Anyway. I guess that is all for now. Hopefully I will start writing more but no promises. Just honestly it’s probably not going to happen. I think about writing a lot. Maybe I just need to sit down and do it when I think about it. Maybe that’s what being a writer is. Who knows? I hope all my readers are doing well. If there are any of you left out there :)

[mysticscanlations]

That Summer Chapter 90 Translation!

TIME FOR HB’S BRIEF BACKSTORY GUYS... IT’S DEPRESSING AF

top 3 rated comments from the Comico site are posted at the bottom of the translations ^^

Title: Welcome, First Time To My House? (T/N: lol I bet author-nim's a lowkey ARMY)

Small text: Ah

YW: Stairs, stairs!

-It's on the 2nd floor.

YW: At home? There's no one.

-Mom's still working outside—

YW: It'll still be a while till she gets back.

-..Why are you so surprised?

(T/N: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) )

YW: It's on the left.

Small text: Haha

YW: Aren't you glancing around too much?

-There's not much to see, hurry and come in.

SFX: Click

SFX: Creak—

SFX: Close..

YW: Get comfortable.

YW: Whew—

-Maybe I should've bought something refreshing from the store on the way back.

YW: It's way too hot.

-Let's open the window first—

SFX: Rattle—

SFX: Flap..

YW: Sit next to me.

-The rotation mode on this thing is broken so it doesn't turn.

SFX: Clatter

YW: This side's cool, Hee Bum.

YW: Now that I think about it, it's the first time.

YW: For me to bring someone to my house..

HB: Thanks for inviting me.

YW: When I was in elementary school, I went to my friends' houses a lot.

-But I've never invited them to my house.

YW: Even though it's a really meaningful house to my mom and I.

YW: I didn't want to look poor and shabby in front of anyone.

YW: Just watch.

YW: I'm going to live better than any of those guys who grazed my shoulder.

-With my own strength.

HB: Ah—

-It must be nice for you, hyung.

YW: What?

HB: You're choosing the path you want and living that way.

-And you have a good relationship with your mom.

HB: I have none of that.

-My parents are complete dead-ends. I can't do anything that I want to do.

SFX: Pft—

HB: Huh...?

-What, why are you laughing?

YW: No—

YW: I was just thinking that in the end, you're just another typical Tae Poong High young master.

YW: They can do that if you self-reflect, your back is warm, and your stomach is full.

Small black text: Huh....?

YW: You receive all you can receive,

-and you enjoy all you can enjoy.

YW: If you have a conscience, then you should at least live by listening to your parents.

HB: Don't make me laugh!

HB: You can live that way, then!!

HB: … Hyung, you don't know anything about my family.

HB: You know, my father's an awful neat freak.

-If the label of a bottle in the fridge isn't completely facing forward, he'll lose it.

HB: And... whenever he sees me,

HB: he always looks at me like he looks at those mispositioned bottle labels.

White text: Almost as if I was the only stain in his life—

Text: Father used to be known as “rags to riches”. Whenever I ran into people, they would grab me and tell the story of how he would only wear socks when he went to his friend's house for fear that they'd get a hole in them.

Text: The king of personal connections, he went to Tae Poong High and then Seoul University. He was the eloquent student body president, and no one could dislike him.

Text: Back then, father met a girl who had been in the same class as him.

-He said he truly loved her.

Text: Even now, when he drinks, he'll occasionally bring up that story.

Text: Father also had another dream.

-It was to have power that nobody could look down on.

Man: Mr. Kang.

-Have some tea before you go.

Text: At that time, Father was taking private lessons at Seongbuk-dong.

-It seems a wealthy man's only daughter took a liking to Father.

Man: Mr. Kang, did you say that you were aiming towards politics?

Text: In order to get started, he needed money.

Text: Father threw away his first love and married the wealthy man's daughter.

Text: But there was no way for that marriage to go smoothly.

Text: Father couldn't forget his first love.

Text: But it was too late. After seeing her passing out wedding invitations at the class reunion, he disappeared before her eyes.

Lady: Kya!!

Worker: I apologize, I apologize, Congressman.

-This worker is still undergoing training...

HB Father: It's alright.

Worker: I'm very sorry.

-You, hurry and apologize too!

Lady: Are you really alright?

HB: The woman who looked just like his first love

-was working part-time to gather money for tuition.

HB: The age difference with my dad was probably...

HB: Around 15 years..

HB: In order to protect his assets, my grandfather

-interfered in every policy my father proposed.

HB: Whenever that happened, my father went to meet with the woman who looked like his first love.

-And he looked down on her.

Text: You should resemble your father—

HB: He'd ask why she was such an idiot.

Text: If you don't want to be hated by your father, you have to study hard.

HB: Whenever she made a mistake,

-he'd ask why her brain was so... dumb.

Text: Got it?

HB: Whenever she tried to run away,

HB: he bought her bags, he bought her a car.

-When she had a kid, he even bought her a house.

Text: You definitely must be that way—

HB: But in the end,

-the woman ran away by herself again when the kid was 7 years old—that's right, that kid was me.

HB: Before things got out of hand, Father must have convinced grandfather that he would raise me.

-Grandfather didn't want Father's political career to end. His only daughter was also sterile.

HB: —That time, I went to my grandparent's home for the first and last time.

Text: Hee Bum, dad will follow you in right away. Wait in the garden.

Text: Father probably went to go smoke a cigarette.

-Back then, even the slightest thing prompted him to go smoke.

Small text: Wow..

White text: Ah—....

White text: Hi? You must be Hee Bum...

(T/N: BREH his dad is so messed up wtff)

HB: ..From then on, Father acts like he's a successful politician,

-but he ruined too many people's lives. That guy is

HB: extremely~

HB: selfish.

YW: Come here.

YW: ...Since you hugged me before.

HB: … You know, hyung. Keep what I just told you a secret.

-I don't usually tell this to anyone...

YW: It's usually like that.

-It always happens when you go to a friend's house.

-Isn't that why everyone wants to go to each other's house when they become friends?

Small text: Is that so

HB: Somehow I feel a bit refreshed after talking.

HB: Can I come visit again?

YW: After the CSAT, come whenever.

YW: I'll walk you to the station.

-Let me use the bathroom real quick.

YW thoughts: I got absolutely no studying done today.

HB: You used the bathroom back at the station before, though.

SFX: Splash—

SFX: Creak

SFX: Tap

HB Father: I enjoyed reading this.

-I read it very carefully.

HB Father: While reading it, I was reminded of my younger self.

HB Father: Since I also grew up in a similar circumstance as you.

HB Father: A circumstance similar to neglect,

HB Father: excluded by the others.

HB Father: Who would I resent?

-As Sartre said, we're just starting with our existence that was thrown into this world.

HB Father: They say you can choose between two things.

HB Father: Either stay where you are or move forward.

HB Father: Some might see the choice as irrational,

-but choosing between the two can be quite simple.

HB Father: I chose to move forward.

-Like you did.

HB Father: From what I see, we're quite similar.

YW thought: Now that I think about it, he did say something like that...

-That we're similar.

YW thought: But after hearing that guy's story, it wasn't a compliment...

YW thought: Then again, I think he also said that.

Black text: —Maybe you'll be a good mentor for my son—

Text under symbol: Lose-lose situation

(T/N: I'm not 100% on this translation T___T If anyone knows what that character means, maybe it'll make more sense)

Small text: Um..

YW thought: By chance, if there comes day my relationship with Hee Bum gets found out, things will get really complicated.

-This is the absolute worst situation..

1st rated comment: Today we've seen all of both children's pain.. Even if I already knew, I can feel it even more now ㅠㅠ

2nd rated comment: Because Yoo Won and Hee Bum were in a small space together, I unknowingly got nervous while reading lolol ha,,,,,, lololololol

3rd rated comment: I can understand why Hee Bum was so obsessed with Yoo Won now ㅜㅜ I expected the father was bad, but he's worse than I thought...

[happy-meo]

SILVER SPOON: Part 5 [Yoongi x Reader; Rom-com, fluff]

A girl who had to work hard every day of her life to rise from nothing, meets a man who was born with and given everything.

A classic tale of what happens when a cold, uptight farm girl meets a playful, rebellious, easy-going city boy that was born with a silver spoon in his mouth.

Summary: Having been born and raised in the country side, you have worked hard your entire life to make it to the big city. You eventually achieved your dream and now you have a wonderful paying job for a large company and you continue putting your 110% into everything you do. However, your perfect plan to climb to success through consistent effort and hard work becomes disarrayed with the arrival of your branch’s new rebellious and easy-going CEO, who never desired the position in the first place and has never truly worked hard a day in his life. Your job is on the line if he can’t be turned into a quality CEO within a year, but he has no intention of changing himself for anyone or letting you boss him around so easily. How will you work your way through this obstacle? Will you succeed in changing him or will he be the one that changes you?

Yoongi x Reader (ft. Jimin & VIXX’s Leo as side characters; some other BTS members show up too lol) Office au Romantic Comedy, Fluff

Parts: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 (Finale)

           Surprisingly, Yoongi woke up on his own the next morning, much earlier than that blasted rooster.

           Take that noisy animal.

           He yawned and glanced around, spotting that Jin was no longer in the room. Tae, on the other hand, was sprawled out carelessly with a huge grin on his face while Leo was curled up in the corner as usual. With a big sigh, accepting the fact that he was not going to be able to go back to sleep anymore, he crept outside.

           He heard the hushed chatter of yours and your mom's voices in the kitchen but before he could make his way there, the bathroom door swung open. His eyes widened at seeing a shirtless Jin emerge from the bathroom, ruffling his wet hair with a towel.

           "Wow." he blinked, and soon realized he had said that out loud.

           Jin grinned widely and his eyes twinkled with glee. "Well thanks."

           "Sorry, I --" Yoongi blushed.

           "It's okay. I know I'm handsome." Jin winked. "The bathroom's all yours."

           "Thanks." Yoongi chuckled and scurried in.

           "Mom, it's really okay." You muttered. "You don't need to pack him lunch."

           "Oh shush!" Your mother shook her head. "Just because he's rich, it doesn't mean he won't appreciate a home cooked meal!"

           You bit your lip. "Yeah but..."

           You were a bit shy about having your CEO show up with a brown bag in hand to the office. And what if he didn't like your mom's cooking?

           "No one's going to grow up healthily if they eat out all the time. They need a mother's cooking." Your mother continued. "And while he is under my roof, he will be fed properly."

           Defeated, you sighed and let her pack you and Yoongi lunches like she intended. You spotted your older brother waltzing around, baring his chest proudly and you cringed.

           "Oppa, please. I don't need to see this first thing in the morning."

           He shrugged off your comment, still grinning cheekily. "Yoongi didn't mind though."

           "He's up?" You blinked.

           "Yeah he's in the bathroom."

           "Wow, I'm impressed. I thought I was going to drag him across the floor to wake him like always."

           "What?" Jin questioned.

           "Oh...nothing." You turned to grab the plate settings.

           You hadn't exactly told your family you were visiting a man's apartment every morning, waking him up, and dressing him.

           "You're usually out of here earlier. Do you not need to go in super early to the office anymore?" Your mom asked.

           "No. Not for a bit." You smiled as you set up the table. "Normal time for now."

           "Oh good." Your mom cooed. "You always look so exhausted. At least you get a bit more sleep now."

           You snorted. It wasn't lack of sleep, but the daunting burden of having to wake Yoongi up, that made leaving early more tiring. Not that you could admit that to your mother.

           "Y/N." Yoongi stepped out into the kitchen timidly.

           "Hm?"

           "Should I change now or...?"

           "You can change after." You smiled. "Let's eat breakfast first."

           He nodded and sat beside you, looking a bit tense. You glanced over at him curiously, but before you could ask him what was wrong, Jin spoke up.

           "So what do you do at work, Yoongi?"

           Yoongi started coughing, taken aback by the question.

           "Oh I um..." he stuttered.

           Then you realized he was just as worried about work today as you were.

           "I'll grab you some water." You stood up so he and Jin could speak comfortably.

           "Thanks." Yoongi continued to cough and Jin reached out to pat his back. "I just attend meetings and sign off documents. Make sure everything's running smoothly."

           "Must be easy because my sister's super organized. That, or burdening." Jin snorted.

           You glared at him as you placed the glass in front of Yoongi.

           "Do you know how many suitors she scared off back in the day?" Jin chuckled.

           "Oppa." You warned, but he wasn't hearing any of it, finally finding someone to share an old story with.

           Yoongi grinned, his tenseness dissipating visibly, and rested his palm against his cheek. "How many?"

           You groaned.

           "Lots." Jin raised a finger. "Down this strip of the countryside, most of the families have sons around Y/N's age, if not a little older. And obviously, Y/N's a catch. She's beautiful cause she takes after me, you know."

           You rolled your eyes and your mother snorted behind you guys. You caught Yoongi's eyes flicker towards you and he nodded in agreement, causing you to blush.

           "So obviously, the families were trying to match make their sons with her so they could run their family farm together and bear more children to help out." Jin explained. "The more hands, the less labor distributed after all."

           "Huh..." Yoongi nodded, interested. He hadn't ever thought about that before. "In the city, less children is better so that's intriguing."

           "Really?" You blinked.

           "Yeah." Yoongi chuckled. "The living expenses are high, plus putting them through good schools and stuff is expensive, so having more is usually looked upon as a really big investment. Plus with those that have family-owned businesses, they naturally need just one heir to run it so yeah..."

           "Wow..." You exhaled.

           "Yeah." Yoongi smiled sadly.

           Jin coughed and you two turned your attention back to him.

           "So yeah, they all came and sat in our living room to talk to our parents." Jin laughed loudly as you curled into your arms to hide your face, hating that you have to relive your dark past once again. "Then Y/N comes in with a long list of which day she was going to talk to which son and exactly what time they needed to meet up and what they were going to do. She also gave them a list of questions to fill out about their preferences and how they would describe themselves. The guys were horrified! We're all about physical labor here so the thought of writing and reading...well it kind of scared them. Plus the whole timed schedule was intimidating."

           Yoongi cracked up. "Seems like she hasn't changed much since then though. Even us city folk would get scared off by that."

           "Right?" Jin giggled. "I can't forget how more than half of them never came back after."

           You glared at him, embarrassed. "Well it would've been chaotic if they were all just meeting me that one day, and I wouldn't have gotten to know any of them!"

           "Well half of them stayed though?" Yoongi smiled, egging Jin on. "What happened to them?"

           "I let them watch her work on the farm secretly." Jin stated proudly. "And they all fell for her."

           "Oh?" Yoongi smirked at you and you averted your gaze. "So why is she still single?"

           "She eventually rejected all of them saying that she had no intention of working in a farm for the rest of her life." Jin exhaled. "Then when they persisted, she gave them an impossible puzzle to complete. Said 'If you solve this, then I'll give you a chance'."

           "Wow. It's like a reality show." Yoongi laughed. "Or a video game."

           "Right? Succeed on all the levels in order to win the prize." Jin grinned.

           "I'm not some prize." You muttered under your breath.

           "So? Did anyone complete the puzzle?"

           "Yeah! He wasn't a farmer though." Jin hummed. "He stayed at Tae's family farm and visited here often. He and Y/N became pretty close."

           "Did you give him a chance?" Yoongi nudged teasingly and you swatted him away.

           "We weren't like that." you protested.

           "Alright, story time over. Breakfast is ready. Jin, go wake the others and please put a shirt on before you catch a cold." Your mother interjected. "Oh and Yoongi dear. I hope you don't mind, but I packed you lunch."

           Yoongi's eyes widened. "Really?"

           "Yeah, you don't have to take it--" You started.

           "No!" he beamed. "I'd love it. Thank you!"

           Your mother shot you an "I told you so" look and pointed the bag out to him. You smiled weakly and filled up your plate.

           You knocked lightly on the boy's room. The others had already gone out to collect eggs while you and Yoongi dressed up for work.

           "Come in."

           You stepped in shyly, considering you two were once again left in a room alone. Before you went to check on Yoongi, you spotted Leo washing dishes with your mother and asking her about certain recipes.

           When you found him, Yoongi was struggling to tie his tie in the center of the room, considering there was no mirror for him to use. You smiled; happy he had actually taken the initiative to dress himself properly this time.

           "Wow, you've changed Mr. Min." You teased as you pulled his hands away from his tie and replaced them with your own.

           "Well yeah, I couldn't wear pajamas to work." he grinned cheekily and you rolled your eyes.

           "You know what I mean." Your fingers looped around and pulled the knot up. "Here, I made it easier for you so you just have to loosen and tighten the knot instead of retying it every time."

           "Thanks." he smiled and you stepped back, hiding the blush growing on your cheeks from being too close to him. "I felt like I should show your family I'm actually a CEO and not a hoodlum."

           You snorted. "You should be more worried about showing your own family that."

           He chuckled.

           "Well, let's go. We don't want to miss the bus or else we'll never make it to work on time." You checked your watch hurriedly.

           "Do you always walk there and back?"

           "Yeah, pretty much." You lifted up your heels and showed off the sneakers you were currently wearing with your professional attire. "But I'm not crazy enough to do that while wearing heels."

           "Smart."

           Yoongi grabbed his bag and followed after you.

           "Mom! We're heading out!" You called out once you two stepped outside.

           Suddenly, the entire family was running towards you two brightly.

           "Have a great day at work, sweetie!" Your mom cooed and kissed you on the cheek. "You too, Yoongi."

           She patted down his hair and kissed him on the cheek as well, which surprised him.

           "Bye Unnie!"

           You bent down and let your sisters kiss you goodbye then you watched as the twins rushed to Yoongi and tugged at his pants.

           "Hm?" he tilted his head.

           "You get a goodbye kiss too, Oppa." they smiled.

           Yoongi grinned and crouched down, letting them slobber each cheek respectively. Your other sister blushed timidly and waved at Yoongi, not feeling comfortable enough to kiss him, considering he wasn't exactly related to you all. You understood her shyness. Your cheeks were already heating up at seeing your family flocking around him with affection. You couldn't imagine being one of them.

           Your brother stepped forward and kissed your forehead sweetly. "Have a safe trip and do well in work as usual, my beautiful sister."

           "Thanks." You blushed. Your brother was always so openly affectionate, and you were the opposite, so it embarrassed you.

           "Come here, Yoongi. You get my precious kiss too." He teased as he lunged at Yoongi, who had stepped back nervously. Jin made kissy noises around his face as Yoongi screamed and laughed at the attack.

           You glanced around. "Where's Leo?"

           "Here."

           Everyone jumped back in surprise as his voice was heard behind you. You clutched your chest as you looked at him, flabbergasted.

           "I really can't get used to your ninja skills."

           "Wait! My kisses too! Don't forget my kisses!" Tae stumbled out of the coop, followed by Bacon and Soonshim.

           "We're going to be late." You bit your lip worriedly.

           Tae planted his lips against your cheek with a loud "Muah!" and did the same to Yoongi, without warning.

           "Bring me some goodies from the city!" Tae grinned happily.

           "Alright. We really need to go. We might miss it." You breathed as you glanced at your watch. "Gah!"

           "We won't miss it." Yoongi grinned.

           "What?"

           He grabbed your wrist. "We're going to run."

           "Wh-wha--?"

           "Bye everyone! We'll be back!" he called out as he darted forward, dragging you behind him.

           "MR. MINNNN!" you cried as your feet pumped ahead, keeping up with his pace.

           Luckily, you two made it exactly on time and scrambled onto the bus, heaving and out of breath. Since you two were the first passengers, you claimed the back and fixed your disheveled appearances.

           "How about we just stick to the schedule so we don't have to do that again?" You exhaled.

           "I can get behind that." Yoongi agreed while Leo, who didn't break a sweat in the least, held up a small mirror in front of you two.

           "Good?" Yoongi turned to you.

           You chuckled and reached for his hair gently. "You have hay here. Probably from Tae. He always rolls around in it first thing in the morning. That or dirt."

           Yoongi remained silent and you glanced down to see him smiling warmly at you. You quickly retracted your hand from his soft pink locks and cleared your throat.

           "Wow, I'm starving again. All that running." Yoongi huffed.

           Leo handed him a bag of chips.

           "Oh yes! Perfect!"

           "That's not healthy, you know." You frowned.

           "Oh live a little." Yoongi popped a chip into his mouth.

           You shook your head disapprovingly and yawned. "Well, I'm going to get some more sleep."

           "Here." Yoongi patted his shoulder and you raised an eyebrow. "Your head is going to end up here anyway so save your neck the trouble."

           He reached out and pushed your head gently to his shoulder.

           "Unless I'm making your heart race?" he teased.

           You scoffed and adjusted your head to fit snugly against his neck and shoulder. "You wish."

           Within a few minutes, your breathing got heavier and your head relaxed further into him. He smiled as he tried to bite into the chips quietly so as not to disturb your slumber. Leo, on the other side of you, was playing with Tae's gameboy intently.

           Yoongi glanced down at your serene face and felt a bit guilty at how he had been acting with you at work. To think you unknowingly traveled two hours every day and because of his incompetent ass, you had to get up even earlier to wake him and drag him forcefully to work. And then you spent the entire day doing your own work and his, because he had some vendetta against his grandfather's methods of throwing him into a job and he took it out on you.

           He still honestly didn't find business intriguing in the least, and part of him didn't like the thought of being tied down to the desk for the majority of the day. He had known since he was young that it would eventually be his fate to take over, but he continually tried to run from the prison of being born into the Min family.

           He never got a chance to ask his father why he loved his job so much or even see him do it firsthand. And his Grandfather was too busy with the same job to even visit him. Yoongi, with Leo and his maids, had to take care of his parent's funeral, and that had strained him as a child; to be thrown into the realities of the world he was born into. Instead of paying respects, many of the guests wanted to know who the business and his parent's assets were going to in their will. Would Yoongi be the heir or did they assign someone else for the time being? And that was when he realized that the wealthy were terrifying indeed. He wondered if his parents knew that their supposed friends only admired their money and status. He wondered if his parents were the same. He couldn't remember much about them anymore. But back then, he had no one comfort him in his time of need and so, he stopped looking for it and expecting it, becoming selfish and doing whatever he wanted without remorse.

           His turn to the limelight and media was at first, his cry for attention and also his answer to everyone who was trying to take away what his father had built. But then it became his pride, his mark, his confidence, and his shield. It was the one thing he enjoyed and the one thing that he felt he was good at. He hid behind his wealth and kept people at a distance. He was friendly without a doubt, but he never let anyone too close. And likewise, people were always polite, mannered, and on their best behaviors around him. He was an important figure after all. No one could tell him he was doing something wrong. No one could punish him. No one would dare scold him, so he lived his life the way he wanted without attachments and consequences. Even his Grandfather couldn't control him and left him alone for many years.

           But that all changed when you came into his life.

           You snapped at him, yelled at him, insulted him, and called him out for everything he was doing wrong. It was refreshing and for some reason, he felt himself open up to you easily, because you didn't think of him as the famous Min Yoongi, sole heir of a famous business chain. Yes, he knew you distinctly kept him in mind as 'Mr. Min' and you were always respectful to him. But you treated him like any other person and he was grateful. And although it was forced on you, you still readily welcomed him into your family and let him into your personal life.

           He smiled and bit into another chip. But his eyes widened and his body tensed when part of the chip broke off and fell into the crevice between your breasts. He gulped as he stared into your cleavage, debating whether or not to try to dispose of the evidence. It'd be embarrassing for you to have a chip inside your bra all day so he tried to think of a solution. Tilting his head around slightly to see if there was a way to reach it without touching you, he tried to move his hand around to find a good position to pull it out with two fingers. Then he suddenly heard murmuring around him. He looked up to find the other passengers on the bus glancing at him skeptically, with a hint of disgust in their expressions, and obviously chatting about him. Suddenly, he realized that it looked like he was checking you out and about to molest you while you were sleeping. His face turned red and he flapped his hands frantically.

           "No. There's a chip inside her --" he whispered, trying to explain. He blushed with embarrassment. There was no way to get himself out of this mess, so he settled on looking out the window innocently. He would just tell you the truth when you woke up.

           Fortunately, you believed him and just hurried to the bathroom to take it out with a slight blush. He heeded your instructions and entered the office first while she was taking care of it, since it was better to walk in separately like usual. It'd be hard to explain why you two were always arriving together.

           "Oh?" Jimin was spinning around in your chair when Yoongi walked in. "Where's Y/N?"

           Yoongi smiled. "I saw her going to the bathroom when I came in."

           "Ahh." Jimin nodded, realizing that Yoongi had no idea he knew about the punishment. "How was your weekend, hyung?"

           "Tiring." Yoongi chuckled, reminiscing on the amount of work he had done. The two days had felt like an entire month.

           "Mr. Park!" You stepped through the door with a big smile, happy to see Jimin.

           "You're a bit late, Y/N." Jimin teased as he handed you coffee. "I'm a bit disappointed."

           You chuckled as you patted Jimin's leg to get out of your seat. "And I'm a bit disappointed you aren't sifting through your papers. We have that important merger meeting first thing today."

           "Will Mr. Min be accompanying us this time?" Jimin eyed Yoongi, who seemed to be observing you two blankly.

           "Well I would like for him to." You stated, grabbing a file from your cabinet, not looking at Yoongi. You still weren't sure how to approach him now that you were back in the work setting. If he reverted back to his lazy, resisting personality, you knew you had to crack down on him regardless of how chummy you two acted outside.

           "Then I'd like to accompany you two."

           You spun around from your spot, surprised. That was the first time he had voiced wanting to go without an ultimatum. You and Jimin looked at each other, visibly shocked.

           "Please give me the documents to review before the meeting." Yoongi grinned, enjoying your reaction, and knocked on your table playfully. "So I know what's happening."

           "Yes." You blinked a few times, still not quite believing what you were hearing. "I'll have them to you in a sec."

           "Perfect." Yoongi nodded and headed into his office.

           "What happened this weekend?" Jimin whispered. "Did you really sleep with him?"

           You smacked Jimin, glancing around. Luckily, there wasn't anyone else there yet.

           "I did not!"

           "But he said he was tired ~" Jimin smirked. "I thought you tired him out."

           "Shush. Shush. Shush." You continued to slap Jimin's shoulder, embarrassed by his implications. "That is totally against the rules and --"

           "No it's not." Jimin laughed. "Nowhere in the company rules and regulations did it say that having intercourse with your boss was unlawful. I know, I've checked."

           You covered Jimin's mouth. "We didn't do anything like that and I won't ever do that. Got it?"

           Jimin nodded, and you released him.

           "Well you could always sleep with me if you want." he teased.

           "Mr. Pa--"

           "Good morning Mr. Park, Y/N!"

           A few of your co-workers arrived laughing and holding coffee in their hands.

           "Morning!" You smiled.

           "Lovely morning!" Jimin stood up and displayed his disarming smile, which had all the ladies visibly blushing. Then he turned to you with a small wink. "I was just kidding Y/N. I'll be totally ready for the meeting this morning."

           You exhaled. "Please do, Mr. Park."

           He cackled then scurried to his office, but not before you shot him a scolding look.

           Shortly afterwards, you delivered the documents to Yoongi's office. You were surprised to find him reading through the other papers you had left him last week.

           "Umm here... for the morning meeting, Mr. Min."

           "Oh thanks." he smiled. "And sorry about the chip incident."

           "No...it's okay." You blushed. "Maybe my shirt was too low."

           "No. You don't look bad in it." he stated nonchalantly.

           You weren't sure if it was a compliment or not so you decided to change the subject.

           "Where did Leo go off to?"

           "Oh I asked him to pack a few things from my apartment to take home."

           You blushed at the fact that he had called your home, his home.

           "Okay." You nodded then turned on your work mode. "Bring a pencil and paper with you to take notes. This is only the first merger meeting and if it goes well, we'll have a couple more to flesh out the details of the merger."

           Yoongi hummed as his eyes perused the first document. "Okay. I'll do that, but first, can you explain this to me?"

           You walked around his table and leaned next to him to take a better look.

           "Oh that."

           And for the following week, this streak of interest and productivity continued. It scared you a bit. You were afraid that he would burn out or was only doing it temporarily to get out of the punishment. But it was still progress nonetheless. He gave you and Jimin helpful suggestions prior to the meetings and gave some of his input during. It made you proud, like you were finally seeing your son accomplishing something.

           You traveled there and back together. He still needed some coaxing to wake up in the mornings and sometimes you'd catch him trying to pack a hoodie or two to take to work (which you quickly confiscated), but regardless, he was always ready on time in order for you two to casually walk to the bus stop. He became more comfortable with your family's way of saying goodbye, even going so far as to give the twins, your mom, and your other sister kisses first. And he had invented some odd handshake with Jin and Tae to prevent their unwanted smooching.

           At work, he would tease you by acting unproductive, but in the end, he had already memorized the documents flawlessly. If he wasn't your boss, you would've strangled him for the anxiety and agitation he was putting you through. You knew he enjoyed seeing you angry at him, but you didn't know whether he was kidding or not. You still feared that he would revert back in any second, but you couldn't help and hope that he wouldn't. He really was talented like his Grandfather mentioned.

           Sometime during the middle of the week, he called you into his office during lunch and asked if you could eat your packed lunches together while helping him review past documents. You couldn't turn down such a productive request so you agreed, but not without Jimin shooting you teasingly seductive looks through the window of his office.

           And at the end of the week, he invited you to dinner.

           "What?" You glanced around, nervous people would overhear. "Dinner?"

           "Yeah, before we head home for the weekend. I've been good this week, so I want a reward!"

           "And why do I need to accompany you to that?"

           "Cause I know your dinner is usually from the vending machine, and THAT'S not healthy." he smirked, throwing your words back at you.

           You huffed. "Fine. Where are we going?"

           "It's a surprise, and my treat!"

           You pursed your lips skeptically and he patted your head.

           "Think of it as paying you back for housing and feeding me."

           You relaxed and nodded.

           Yoongi had always been alone and without family since he was young. So when he watched your family up close, it tugged at his heart. Despite all the struggles it came with, you worked hard at what you were passionate about and gave your hard earned money to your siblings and parents. He admired that about you, because he had never wanted to work hard for something in his life, and frankly, he never had to. But working alongside you and your family, laughing with them, being together, feeling like he belonged somewhere, being teased, scolded, and trusted, it made him want to step out of his selfish mindset and try to give his Grandfather a chance.

           And to be honest, you helped make it easier for him. You explained things vibrantly and well. You even had everything organized in charts to express their relationships, and as ridiculous as it was looking at all of them, they really proved to be useful and easy to understand.      

          He and Jimin also made an alliance to try to throw off your schedule every so often by calling you in. Sometimes your documents would "go missing" and you'd be forced to go into a meeting and "go with the flow", much to their amusement and according to their plot. You were pretty anxious and frantic without a plan. But once throw into a situation, your keen intelligence shone through and allowed you to handle it with your usual class. He couldn't help but be immensely impressed. He had been surrounded by business and this life of work politics driven by money ever since he was born, while you were not. Yet, you were able to carve your own place into the company and meld your two different knowledge bases together efficiently. It allowed you to look past people's backgrounds and see their worth as an individual. He could see now why his Grandfather had hired you.

           But now, he wanted to know you, as yourself, and so he invited you to dinner. There'd be no work to distract you, no family to interject, no chores to do -- it was just Min Yoongi and Y/N.

           Just you two.

           "Wahh..." You breathed as you marveled at the night view through the glass elevator.

           He was taking you to the highest floor of one of the grand hotels in Daegu, which served the best seafood in the city. He loved seafood and when he asked, you admitted you hadn't really tried quality ones so he firmly decided on this place.

           "I'm getting a little scared. This is going so high." You wiped your hands together. "My hands are getting clammy thinking about reaching the top."

           "You can hold my hand if you're scared." he grinned and outstretched his hand.

           You glared at him and returned to watching the lights from different buildings twinkle beautifully against the ebony sky.

           "I should've worn something better." You mumbled and frowned. "I feel like I'll stick out like a sore thumb."

           "I had a feeling you would say that sooo..." Yoongi rustled inside his bag, the noise making you glance at him curiously. "Ta-dah!"

           He pulled out a large gray hoodie as he beamed. "I can finally dress down!"

           "Oh gosh. Please don't do that." You reached over and grabbed his hoodie. "You look so nice today."

           Yoongi brightened. "Do I?"

           You blushed, realizing what you said, and scoffed. "Well of course, I picked your suit out for you today."

           "Well any suit fits me." he gloated.

           "Are you trying to be Jin?" You snorted.

           He chuckled and the elevator doors opened. You folded his hoodie around your arm and he guided your back as you two stepped into the fancy restaurant.

           "Good evening, Mr. Min. This way."

           The worker at the front greeted him without needing an introduction.

           Yoongi fought hard not to laugh as your mouth rounded to make an "o" shape, as if you were just realizing that the person you were with was quite important.

           "Forgot I was famous?" he dismissed the worker and pulled the seat out for you.

           You bowed and sat down, staring at the collection of 3 forks, 3 spoons, 2 knives, and the 3 stacked plates in front of you. Your napkin was folded fancily on the side as well and you just stared at it all in awe.

           Yoongi smiled as he watched you take everything in. He quite liked how everything new was wonderful to you and you tried to immediately learn as much about them as you could.

           You coughed and he raised his eyebrows curiously.

           "Okay so I read about the appropriate ways to use the utensils. Tell me if I'm right." You stated seriously and he looked at you, amused.

           "Your soup, Mr. Min and --"

           "Ms. Y/N." Yoongi answered. "My precious secretary."

           "Oh welcome." the waiter bowed. "Mr. Min frequents here. I hope you enjoy, Ms. Y/N."

           Yoongi watched you blush and get flustered at being called so formally.

           "Anyway, about the utensils..." he observed how you neatly unfolded the napkin and placed it on your lap, enjoying the way you were trying to act the part.

           "Y/N." he called and your eyes fluttered towards him. "Screw that and use whatever's clean."

           He watched as other customers glanced at you two, surprised at his language, and you were also surprised. Yoongi pushed his napkin into his shirt, making a messy bib and grabbed the biggest spoon, dipping it into his soup with a loud slurp.

           "Are you purposefully being embarrassing?" You whispered worriedly.

           Yoongi chuckled. "Relax, Y/N and just enjoy dinner. No one's going to watch which spoon and fork you use. They're all focusing on their own dinners."

           You frowned and he continued to slurp his soup while eyeing you. You exhaled.

           "Alright, fine. Just please stop slurping and attracting attention!"

           He grinned and stopped when he saw you picking up a spoon, which was the correct one. He figured you would still follow protocol regardless, but at least you didn't look tense anymore.

           "Deal."

           Dinner was a funny disaster. Since Leo wasn't with Yoongi, he had to figure out how to eat the seafood on his own, which put you two on an even playing field.

           "I think Leo did this." Yoongi hummed as he took the shell cracker and pinched the lobster leg with as much strength as he could. It ended up squirting some sort of juice out into your face and he couldn't help but burst out in laughter.

           Glaring at him angrily, you split your lobster leg without needing the tool and he gulped nervously.

           "Now, Y/N. Remember who's paying for this..." he tried to soothe you.

           You huffed and wiped your face, throwing the napkin onto the table. Yoongi sat in his chair relaxingly with his legs folded and crossed, his shoes long discarded underneath the table.

           "I'm one lobster leg ahead of you." You smirked.

           "Is this a contest now?"

           "I'm just saying. You're pretty weak, Mr. Min."

           "Now I can't let that pass. I am not weak." he pouted, rolling up his sleeves and grabbing a lobster leg from the pile. "I'll show you."

           Your lips curled up, unconvinced, and nodded. "By all means."

           Yoongi inhaled and exhaled deeply as he held the lobster leg in front of him, a look of pure concentration plastered on his face. You grabbed your napkin and covered your face, afraid that something would fly at you again. He held his breath and bent the leg downwards, trying to make it crack in the center. But he turned red and gasped for air in no time, the lobster leg still in pristine condition. You giggled behind the napkin and he glared at you.  

           "Thanks for your support." he quipped.

           "Maybe you should work on your arms a bit more." You reached out and easily broke the lobster leg. "I've been doing heavy lifting since I was a child."

           Yoongi pursed his lips then shrugged. "Fine. You win in strength, but you have to admit I have nicer legs."

           You raised an eyebrow. "What?"

           "Tell me I have nice legs."

           "What? No." You argued.

           "Say it or else you're paying." he insisted.

           "That's not fair!"

           "I like compliments, and you've only been dissing me since we've gotten here."

           "Spoiled brat." You muttered under your breath.

           "What was that?" he grinned cheekily.

           "I mean... wow what nice legs you have." You stated half-heartedly.

           Yoongi cracked up. "Oh my gosh. You actually said it!"

           "You told me to!"

           He laughed. "You seriously thought I wouldn't pay when I invited you? Come on."

           You chuckled to yourself at the realization. "True. I'm just a bit self-reliant and skeptical."

           "I've noticed." he chewed happily. "Want anything else on the menu?"

           You peered over and hummed as you scanned it over, thinking of eating a bit more and saving the rest for the family to try.

           "Oh. I also had Leo come here earlier and take back a few things to your family for dinner."

           Your eyes widened. "What?"

           He shrugged nonchalantly. "Dessert?"

           You smiled and nodded. "Dessert sounds great."

           "Okay, you do know how to eat ice cream properly right?" he leaned over and teased.

           You rolled your eyes and chuckled.

           And your relationship eased into a sense of comfort after that. You two still bickered nonetheless, probably even more so now that you two knew exactly what to say to get under each other's skin. He still wasn't super helpful with chores on the farm, but he was improving his stamina and strength. At least he provided consistent entertainment. And thanks to your mom and Jin, his cooking skills were also getting better. Your eggs were now shell-less and cooked well.

           You noticed that he was also getting increasingly closer to all of your family members. He, Jin, and Tae would snicker randomly as if they had their own inside jokes now, and sometimes you'd hear them still chatting in their room late into the night. Yoongi also became incredibly playful with the twins, picking them up randomly, and joining Tae in their games of pretend or tag. He also opened up your shy little sister by pulling small pranks on her like the old tapping-on-the-opposite-shoulder trick or the calling-her-name-and-having-her-turn-her-cheek-into-your-finger one. He even complimented your mom and praised her cooking with ease, treating her like his own parent.

           "Where are you going? It's the weekend?" he questioned as he saw you taking your work bag with you outside one Saturday morning.

           "Oh Jimin called the house and I need to take care of something for work quickly." You smiled. "I'm going into town."

           "Why?"

           "Oh... well." You blushed. "There's no internet and hardly any service out here. So I have to go into the town when I need to do work or make a call."

           "Seriously?" he frowned.

           You glanced at him, amused. "Yes, seriously. Wanna come with? You still haven't seen the town yet, right?"

           Yoongi lit up. "Sure. I'll come. Gimme a sec."

           "Sure. I'll be outside."

           You soaked in the sun and fresh air while waiting for him.

           "Sorry. I'm here." he breathed and you shivered, feeling his breath hit the back of your neck.

           You turned and his body touched yours, causing you to stumble back. He caught your wrist, chuckling in amusement.

           "Sorry. I was running and didn't expect you to be so close to the front."

           "N-no. You just startled me." You laughed nervously. "I didn't expect you to be so close either."

           "So what's the urgent thing Jimin has you doing?"

           You gave him a once over. It had been a while since you had seen him dressed freshly casual in clothes that weren't too big on him. He was simply wearing a plain white tee and his favorite snapback backwards with dark jeans. It reminded you of the first few times you had encountered him. You smiled and suddenly, he was waving his hand in front of your face.

           "Were you just checking me out and smiling?" he teased.

           You felt yourself warm. "Ew no!"

           He grinned. "Well, I like your casual wear much better than your professional attire too."

           You furrowed your brow. "Well sorry I can't exactly afford nicer clothes."

           He blinked, not expecting that reaction. "No, I'm sorry. I didn't--"

           "It's fine." You snipped, knowing you shouldn't get offended. "We're taking the tractor."

           "You can drive?" Yoongi tilted his head.

           "Duh." You smirked. "Now, it's your turn to hold your horses."

           Obviously, you weren't a speedy drive, but the road was rough and bumpy, so Yoongi literally had to hold himself down to prevent his head from smacking into the window or the top of the tractor.

           When you arrived, he happily hopped out and caught his breath.

           "Y/N! Good to see you back in town! It's been awhile!"

           "Hello!" You greeted brightly. "Just going in to do some work at the old cafe."

           "Don't work too hard now, you won't ever find a man." the old lady giggled.

           Yoongi took this time to step beside you and bow politely. The old lady's eyes widened and she was practically glowing.

           "Who's this Y/N? Your boyfriend?"

           You panicked. "Oh no! It's my..."

           "Friend." Yoongi reached for hand. "Yoongi."

           "Oh wow. You're so handsome. Like a celebrity." she reached out and touched his face.

           You snorted, amused, and he grinned at you knowingly.

           "Well we really must get to work." You grabbed his wrist, allowing him to escape from the lady's wandering hands. "You have to watch out for her. She likes to touch."

           "I noticed." Yoongi smiled.

           You entered the internet cafe and took a seat at a table, pulling out your laptop. Yoongi did the same.

           "Here's the password of the day." An older guy handed you two a piece of paper. "Stay as long as you like."

           "Thanks." You grinned, and Yoongi bowed obediently when he caught the man wink at him.

           "Maybe I should've brought Leo with me. He's more of an eye candy." Yoongi whispered. "We could've gotten a discount."

           You giggled. "I think you're more his type though."

           Yoongi smiled and began typing away on his laptop, stopping to glance over at you every so often. He wasn't really doing anything in particular, but he didn't want to look not busy either. You looked concentrated and perplexed by what you were doing, and he caught you worrying your lip.

           "Anything I can help with?"

           Your face relaxed and your lips curled up. "If you could, you probably have more experience with this than me."

           "Sure." Yoongi pushed his laptop down and scooted his chair beside you.

           You tensed as his arm grazed yours while he read the details of the problem and perused the document.

           "Oh this. I'll teach you." he replied as he got up.

           You were about to ask where he was going when you felt his arms snake above your shoulders. His head appeared beside yours, your cheeks daringly close. You were internally screaming at the proximity.

           "Ready? I'll show you first then I'll guide you through it." he spoke softly and despite not being ready at all, you nodded, staring forward blankly, afraid of turning your head.

           Did he not know the concept of space? But then you remembered being in a similar position when you were milking cows and you suddenly wanted to crawl under the table. That was a totally different situation! He was scared of them! This...this was totally unnecessary. But why were you becoming hyperaware of his presence now? You shook your head and accidentally brushed your cheek against his. You let out a tiny squeak.

           Yoongi blinked as he felt your smooth skin glide against his and you made an odd noise. Then he looked down and realized he was essentially embracing you.

           "Oh my bad." he chuckled nervously and stepped to the side distancing your faces from each other. Why had he done something like that without thinking? More or less, during these few weeks with you, he found himself wanting to be around you more often and reaching out for you frequently, whether it was a pat on the head or a teasing poke. What was going on with him?

           Nonetheless, you two spent a few hours fixing the problem with Jimin on webcam and finally, were able to smooth everything ever.

           "Sorry about that guys. I didn't know what to do on my own." Jimin scratched his head.

           "It's all good. I wouldn't have either." You smiled and glanced up at Yoongi gratefully.

           He grinned back at you, feeling a sense of accomplishment that he was able to help out fully for once. Jimin cleared his throat and you two turned back to him shyly.

           "Well, I'll see you two on Monday. Enjoy the rest of the weekend!" he waved brightly.

           You caught the way Jimin smirked before ending the call and it embarrassed you, reminding you of all the times in the past few weeks where he would tease you about Yoongi. What were you going to tell him on Monday?

           "Oh right." Yoongi clapped his hands. "Can I go shopping around here? I saw some stores with some clothes I wanted to try on."

           "Really?" You chuckled.

           "Hey, you know I'm a very relaxed outfit kind of guy." he shrugged arrogantly. "And these are unique brand name stores!"

           You smiled sweetly, "Sure. Everyone's preparing for the party tomorrow anyway."

           "Party?" Yoongi blinked.

           "Oh right. We have a party every 3rd Sunday of the month to just wind down as a family. Nothing big." You got up with your purse, but Yoongi grabbed your hand.

           "What're you doing?"

           You blushed, your hand tingling from his touch. "Paying?"

           "Oh. He already paid, sweetie." the owner grinned. "You're free to go."

           "What?" You looked at Yoongi incredulously.

           "You were too concentrated so I got away with it." he stuck his tongue out.

           "You can't just keep paying for me."

           "No, sweetie. Let him keep paying for you." the owner refuted.

           Yoongi gave him a thumbs up, while you looked at the two of them, unamused.

           "Let's talk outside. Come on, come on." Yoongi grabbed your hand and pulled you out as you sighed.

           "I have my own money, Mr. Min. I don't need you paying for me."

           "It's not bad to let someone treat you once in awhile, Y/N." Yoongi smiled unapologetically. "I'm not doing it to throw my money around, I promise."

           You looked at him and he threw his arms behind his head, grinning.

           "You know, before I met you, I used my money to just indulge myself."

           "So it seemed." You replied.

           "But now, I want to spend it on other people." he hummed as his eyes scanned the shops. "I don't mean it to offend you and all your hard work, but think of it as a sign of my gratitude, okay?"

           You relaxed and nodded. "I get it, but let me pay next time okay?"

           "Why don't you buy me an outfit then?" he proposed. "You choose it and pay for it. I'll wear it to the party tomorrow."

           "What?"

           "Come on." he gestured to a store with his head. "You always dress me up anyway, this should be fun."

           "Shouldn't it be the other way around?" You chuckled as you scurried after him.

           "I'm far more suited to be a clothes model." Yoongi smirked teasingly and you rolled your eyes.

           "Be prepared for the most ridiculous outfits of your life, Silver Spoon."

           "Bring it on, Farm Girl. The more ridiculous the better."

           "You should be more nervous!" You argued.

           "Why? You're the one that's going to be embarrassed by me anyway." he taunted as he floated to the clothes rack.

           "Ugh." You groaned, knowing he was 100% right.

           The next day, you all got to sleep in for once which was great considering you, Tae, Jin, your sister, and Yoongi had stayed up exchanging funny stories. For some reason, everyone was feeling particularly giggly and every word brought you all into hysterics.

           Yoongi's eyes fluttered open to find bright brown orbs staring back at him.

           "Morning ~" Tae grinned widely as he continued to watch you.

           "Morning." Yoongi rubbed his eyes. "Why're you staring at me?"

           "You stay so still when you sleep. You remind me of fish." Tae giggled.

           Yoongi raised an eyebrow, not understanding the relationship between him and fish.

           "How's the animal hospital going?"

           "It's good." Tae perked up. "They want to hire me full time!"

           "Oh wow!" Yoongi beamed and clapped. "Congratulations!"

           "Thank you." Tae giggled. "You're the first one I told."

           "Really?"

           "Mhm." Tae nodded.

           "What made you want to be a vet in Seoul?" Yoongi questioned, finally sitting up.

           "I want to see it." Tae beamed. "I want to see Seoul."

           "Why?"

           "Mmm..." Tae hummed and looked concentrated. "I met and housed a traveler once and he lived with my family in my farm for a bit because he wanted to get a feel of the country life. Whenever I talked to him and heard his stories, they all sounded so amazing. The animal hospital here is great but fairly small. I want to help a lot of animals!" Tae stretched his arms as if to signify how many animals he wanted to help. "And I know big cities like Seoul will have a lot of animals that need saving, plus they'll pay me better. One day, I want to open up my own so I really want to go there."

           Yoongi smiled and ruffled the younger boy's hair. "That's a great goal."

           "Y/N made us want to dream big." Tae smiled. "She achieved her dream and she always looks so happy going to work. And you too, hyung. You look happy."

           "Do I?" Yoongi grinned.

           Tae flashed his box grin. "Yes, you look much happier these past few weeks compared to when we first met."

           Yoongi blinked, surprised at that perceptive answer. He softened.

           "So what was the name of this traveler you met?"

           "Oh!" Tae grinned. "His name was --"

           "Boys! Brunch is ready!" Jin entered the room brightly. "What's this? Bro talk without me?"

           "Jin! Guess what?" Tae jumped up.

           "What? What?" Jin beamed.

           "I'm getting hired as a full time vet!"

           Jin cheered excitedly and the two jumped around holding hands. Yoongi smiled and watched the scene lovingly.

           "Come here, Yoongi. You celebrate too!" Jin pulled him up and jumped around him in a circle as he laughed at their morning energy.

           "I know it's party day, but save some energy for later." You appeared at the doorway and Tae practically lunged into your arms.

           "Y/N! I'm a full time vet!"

           "Whoa, whoa." Jin stated. "First, you were going to be hired full time and now you are?"

           "Eh same thing." Tae giggled as he nuzzled his cheek against yours while you giggled, telling him to get off of you half-heartedly.

           The party began when the sun set. Tae's family joined in on the festivities and so did some of the neighboring farm families, so the large barn was soon packed with loud people. Yoongi stayed glued to Jin and Tae, following them as they introduced him to everyone and mingled, while you went around catering to your guests.

           "Hey." he grabbed your arm as you passed by.

           "Hey." you smiled. "Sorry, is it overwhelming?"

           "No." he chuckled. "You haven't been to banquets. This is ten times better. People actually talk candidly here."

           "Wow." You scrunched your face. "Banquets are actually a thing, huh?"

           "Think of them as stuffy dinners." Yoongi shook his head. "Haven't been to one in a long time and don't plan to do so."

           You grinned. "Did you need something?"

           "Aren't you working a little too hard for someone who's supposed to be relaxing?" he emphasized as he grabbed the tray out of your hand.

           You looked at him knowingly and gave in. "You're right."

           "I mean, these people can grab food on their own. Sit down." he urged and you exhaled.

           "Y/N!"

           You grabbed onto Yoongi's hand frantically. He blinked as he looked down at your joined hands curiously. Then a tanned, muscular young man appeared and hugged your body so tightly Yoongi was worried you'd burst. But you never let go of his hand so he didn't either. You exhaled and stumbled back from the aggressive hug.

           "Wow you're still beautiful." the man sighed. "How have you been?"

           "Great." You smiled, being strangely curt.

           "Look, I know my confession last month was a bit sudden and when I tried to kiss you well...that was forward." the guy rubbed the back of his neck.

           Oh.

           Yoongi realized why you had reached out for him.

           "But I really do like you and I know that when the city life doesn't work out for you, you'll come back. So just know, I'll be waiting."

           He caught the way your eye twitched at the clear attack on your career.

           "You know city life won't work out for me?" you hissed.

           "Oh come on, Y/N. Many people tried to make it big from the countryside and only a few succeed. Look at this realistically."

           He saw you purse your lips and he squeezed your hand, stepping forward.

           "Hey, I'm Min Yoongi."

           The guy was a bit taken a back, not realizing he was there all along.

           "Who are you?" he questioned. "Who's this guy?"

           Yoongi lifted up your entwined hands and smiled at him cheekily.

           Your heart fluttered at this gesture.

           "I'm from the city and I'll have you know Y/N is succeeding in every way possible." Yoongi replied. "And our company has no intention of letting her go."

           He glanced at you with a genuine smile and tugged you closer to him. "I have no intention of letting her go."

           You inhaled sharply as he wrapped his arm around your waist.

           "So I'd appreciate it if you would stop demeaning her like that. She didn't reject you because you're from the country but because you're just so terribly unsupportive and ill-mannered."

           "Why you--" the guy clenched his fist and you placed a hand on Yoongi's chest nervously, ready to push him back if the guy attacked.

           But Leo appeared and stared daggers at the man, easily repelling any act of violence that was about to ensue.

           You and Yoongi exhaled audibly.

           "Jeez. I thought I was going to need an entirely new face." he breathed.

           You chuckled and smacked his chest. "That was so reckless."

           Yoongi shrugged. "You should know that's my style by now."

           You glanced at him disapprovingly then smiled gratefully. "Thanks though. He really creeps me out."

           Yoongi grinned, "I thought you had fallen in love with me for a second when you grabbed my hand."

           You rolled your eyes and stepped away from his arms. "Puhlease."

           All of a sudden, Leo embraced the two of you tightly and your noses were touching lightly.

           "We're okay, Leo. I appreciate the concern." Yoongi patted his arm gently.

           Leo nodded and stepped back.

           "Have you tried this?" You picked up your tray and handed it to Leo.

           His eyes lit up and he shook his head, biting into the appetizer cautiously. Then his lips curled up and he began scarfing them all down while you and Yoongi laughed at him light-heartedly.

           "Everyone let's get drunk!!" Your mom cried out from the top of a hay stack.

           "Coolest. Mom. Ever." Yoongi directed at you with a wide grin.

           You laughed loudly as you two grabbed your beers and raised them.

           "I'm underage still!" Your sister called out cheekily.

           "I like strawberry juice better!" Tae shouted.

           "Let's square dance!" Jin bellowed, already red from the alcohol.

           On cue, the music began and everyone formed their squares.

           "Square what?" Yoongi blinked.

           "Come on." You laughed as you dragged him and Leo forward.

           Your sister coupled up with Leo while Jin and Tae each took one twin.

           "Follow me." You grabbed Yoongi's hands and guided him through the song.

           He stumbled through it, but it was entertaining, seeing him floundering about with a look of panic, especially when there was a switch of partners. But he eventually got the hang of it and was following everyone's steps with only slight hesitation. He even made it through a couple more songs after that.

           "Not bad, Silver Spoon." You teased.

           "I'm a pretty adaptable guy after all." he declared arrogantly.

           "Speed up!" You shouted with a smirk, and everyone cheered happily.

           "Speed what?" he repeated.

           The music was played double the original speed and everyone's feet fluttered around, doing the moves elegantly, while Yoongi tripped over his own, trying to catch up. It ended up with him being embarrassed and you laughing hysterically at him. But he couldn't even be mad because he very much liked seeing you laugh without restraint for once.

           The night proceeded cheerfully. Everyone was talking loudly over the music and you, Yoongi, Jin, Tae, and your sister were in a little huddle, having conversations amongst yourselves. Jin was giggling more than usual because of the alcohol and you were already beginning to feel flush too. Yoongi, on the other hand, looked pretty normal.

           "Now that everyone's had time to drink. Let's play the newspaper game!" Your mom echoed.

           "Oh nooo." You groaned.

           "Yess! Let's go, Tae! We can win again!" Jin shook Tae happily.

           Tae giggled. "Y/N and hyung too. You two play!"

           "Oh no. I don't --"

           "Let's play!" Yoongi beamed excitedly. "We never play games at our banquets. This is cool!"

           "Oh but the game is --" You glanced at your sister pleadingly but she just smirked and waved at you.

           Yoongi was dragging you to the center of the barn, intrigued.

           Your mom handed every pair a newspaper and you set it down on the ground.

           "Rules are easy. Your newspaper gets folded smaller as the rounds go on. Your feet can't step out of newspaper or else you and your partner are both out. Good luck ~" Your mom grinned evilly.

           "I see where you get your stern side from." Yoongi teased and you smacked his arm.

           "You two." Tae and Jin squinted at you and Yoongi in a playfully menacing manner. "You're going down."

           "We'll take your triple crown." You provoked.

           "Never!" Tae shouted. "Though you two are the most likely adversary for us, we will prevail!"

           "Ready?" You looked up at Yoongi and for a second, he felt his throat close up when your eyes locked with his.

           He cleared his throat and nodded. "We'll win this for sure."

           You smiled and you two high-fived to express your team work and determination.

           You never realized how dangerous this game was. Not until a few rounds later, when you felt Yoongi's arms wrap around your waist, pulling you flush against his body. The crowd hooted and hollered for you two. You shyly embraced your arms around his neck; your feet were on top of his apologetically. But there were only three pairs left, one of which was Tae and Jin. You worried how to get past the next few rounds when you were completely red already. You wobbled and Yoongi steadied you, placing his forehead on you and his hand higher on your back.

           "Relax. I got you." he whispered and you stared into his eyes, your noses touching daringly. You could feel his breath on your face and you were sure he could feel yours.

           Never in a million years did you expect to be in this position with Min Yoongi, your boss, heir to the large corporation you were working for. You were so glad Park Jimin wasn't here and Tae was too preoccupied to witness this questionable pose. Your heart was racing as your mother's voice counted down until the next round. The third group fell right before the end of the countdown, which left just your pair with Yoongi, and Jin's with Tae.

           "Alright last two teams, face each other and fold your newspapers."

           You gulped. Someone had to stand on one foot in order to win, which meant that the other needed to be strong enough to piggyback the other... on one-leg.

           "I'll piggyback you." You firmly stated to Yoongi.

           "You sure?" Yoongi worried.

           "I don't think you could." You teased.

           He grinned and nodded knowingly. "This hurts my pride, but it's better than losing and showing off how weak I am."

           "Not to mention making me look heavy." You added.

           "Sure, that too."

           You crouched down and he koala-ed you easily.

           "Holy crap. You're light." You laughed as you stood up without breaking a sweat.

           "It's cause I have nice, slender legs." he chided.

           Tae had climbed onto Jin's shoulders, ready to face off. You stared at your brother with determination and he smirked, unfazed. You two lifted one leg off the ground simultaneously and your mother started the slow countdown from 10.

           Yoongi curled tighter around you and he grazed your boob accidentally, causing you both to tense.

           "Oh my go--"

           "Don't move." You hissed, fighting back your initial reaction of bursting into flames right then and there. His arm was still over your chest but if he moved too much it would throw off your balance.

           "Ooo ~ look at him touching her boobies~" Tae teased.

           "Yah!" Jin scolded. "What're you two doing in front of me?"

           "You want me to touch yours, hyung?" Tae bent down playfully, but that caused Jin to falter.

           "Tae! No!" Jin cried. "I'm going to lose my balance."

           "Woops." Tae whipped back up too fast and he and Jin stumbled backwards, your parents and Tae's rushing to protect their heads from the impact.

           "Winner! Yoongi and Y/N!" Your mother announced as soon as they checked that the other two were alright.

           Yoongi jumped off of you immediately, and you two screamed excitedly, hugging each other tightly without hesitation. You bounced around with glee, then both of you realized what you were doing and separated timidly.

           "Good going Farm Girl." he grinned. "We make a good team."

           You laughed, still feeling traces of his arms around you for some reason.

           "We really do."

           A few hours later, people were beginning to feel the true effects of the alcohol and soon, the barn was covered with sleeping people. Those with higher tolerance were just chatting casually at one of the tables. Jin had ushered the twins to the house and tucked them into bed. Meanwhile, Tae and your sister were going around the barn, making sure everyone was comfortably sleeping.

           "You want to take a walk?" Yoongi smiled and you agreed, needing to get fresh air and away from the heated barn.

           You both strolled outside quietly, allowing your ears to adjust to the silence after having come from such a loud atmosphere.

           "Hope that wasn't too weird." You spoke up.

           "No, not at all. I loved it." he smiled genuinely. "I've never had so much fun at a family function."

           "Really?"

           "Well whenever I used to eat with Gramps, we were in this super long table and sitting on opposite ends."

           "Wow."

           "When I'm at my apartment, I eat by myself too." Yoongi smiled sadly. "So something like this is nice."

           You nudged him lightly. "Well you're welcome anytime."

           He glanced at you and grinned. He took off the flannel button up you had picked out and bought for him, and placed it over your shoulders. You smiled and pulled it around you gratefully.

           "This is so nice." Yoongi marveled as he leaned against the fence and looked up at the vibrant evening sky. "You never get to see the stars so clearly in the city."

           "That's true." You nodded as you sat on the fence easily, gaining a few inches above him for once. "Plus you don't get this fresh air either."

           "Regretting your decision to work in the city?" he grinned.

           You chuckled and shook your head. "Never."

           "It's a two hour trip there and back. You have to travel a few minutes away just for wifi and you have to deal with a bratty boss. Must be tough."

           "I don't know about the traveling. But the bratty boss is a bit of a challenge." You teased.

           He nudged you lightly.

           "But he's getting more tolerable."

           "I'm glad." Yoongi grinned. "I was about to have a stern talk with Park Jimin to tell him to stop being so bratty."

           You laughed and you both fell into a comfortable silence afterwards.

           "Why are you working so hard and doing all this?" Yoongi asked you seriously.

           Your face softened as you looked down at him beside you. For some reason, you knew he was asking a different question.

           "What're you interested in doing, Mr. Min?" you questioned.

           "What?" he blinked. No one had ever asked him that. "Umm well I never really thought about it. My path has always been laid out for me. I'm going to take charge of the company, regardless of what I want to do...so I just never thought about it."

           You frowned and patted his head gently, sensing the sadness in his voice.

           "Well you know, there may be one main road, but there are always detours and back roads you can take to get to your destination."

           "Hm?" he looked up at you completely with wide eyes, like you had just said the most surprising thing he had ever heard.

           "Like you can take the scenic route and figure out what you really want to do instead of the direct path. I mean isn't the journey where the fun is? Business is a vast field, and you can start or own any business you want with your background." You smiled. "As for your company, I personally like what it stands for as a business. Your Grandfather wants it to be different and untainted. He wants it to be innovative and unprejudiced, far-reaching and eclectic. A company with no limits, making a resounding statement."

           Yoongi watched as the wind blew your hair in front of your face and you spit, trying to get the strands out of your mouth. He burst out laughing, because you were just saying something so cool and the deep ambiance had been totally destroyed by nature.

           You smiled, embarrassed, and scratched the back of your head. You then hopped down and boldly cupped Yoongi's face so he would look at you seriously. You knew he needed to hear what you were going to say.

           "I guess what I'm trying to say is that you may be the heir, but that doesn't mean you have to follow the same EXACT path that your Grandfather is walking. He trusts you to keep the values of the company and that's it. Learn what he's doing first then build your own foundation on top of that. Doing the same thing isn't a sign of progress after all. Find what you want, what you're interested in, and what you believe in, and you'll find your answer."

           "My answer?"

           "I've been thinking this for a while now." You smiled and stepped away from him. "It's not that you don't want to do business, but you're afraid to do it, aren't you? You're wondering 'what can I do for the company' and 'can I really run this company like my father and grandfather'? And you're also worried about changing it too much because it's a piece of your late father. That as nonchalant and free as you appear, you're actually acting that way because you're burdened and protecting yourself."

           You looked up to the sky and smiled.

           "Well if I learned anything from you these past few weeks. It's to screw plans and go with the flow! Everything will fall into place as long as you do what you want and what you love! Just do it! Although I'd rather have some sort of plan...but that's just me...you're probably more of a go-for-it kind of gu--"

           Without hesitation, Yoongi reached out to you and placed his hands on your cheeks, silencing your rambling quickly. Then he leaned down and pressed his lips onto your forehead, his heart hammering loudly in his chest.

           "Thank you." he whispered as he pulled you into his arms.

           Someone had finally figured him out, given him advice, and scolded him.

           You nodded shyly in reply as he tightened his embrace around you. You didn't want to separate, because you were sure your face was entirely beet red.

           What exactly just happened??

           Later that night, you two both rolled around in your respective rooms, unable to forget all of the events that had occurred earlier.

           Yoongi was still pondering over your words. Years of thoughts he had buried deep inside him were now surfacing in the silence. Like your words had broken the seal and released the dam inside his brain. But then his thinking was interrupted when his phone vibrated beside him.

           Meanwhile, you were hiding underneath your comfy blanket in the living room, your body heating up. Were you getting a fever? Did you have too much to drink? You kept replaying the moment when you and Yoongi were close to each other all weekend, especially the sudden forehead kiss in the middle of the field.

           "Gahhh!" You screamed breathily, not wanting to wake anyone but needing to release your emotions. You thrashed around, embarrassed, shocked, and confused.

           Suddenly, your phone buzzed. You peeked out and checked your phone.

           It was the Chairman.

           Your heart sank as you read the group text that had finally gotten through. 

           "Yoongi, you may return home now. The punishment for you two is now officially over."

PART 6 

[yas-surveys]

162. // THEN, THEN, NOW

Then: December 18, 2014 Then: December 18, 2015 Now: January 13, 2020 (Damn it would be cool if i answered this last december anyways)

1. Where was the last place you went to hang out? Do you hang out there often? If not, where do you usually go? THEN: i can’t actually remember HAHA. maybe 7-eleven or something, yeah. THEN: at the mall i guess, well not really often, but for the christmas time i guess, since i go shopping with enzo NOW:i have literally no idea, the last time i was out was to go to school, and i dont think that counts as a hangout, DAMN IM BORING

2. When did you last speak to your best friend of the opposite sex? What did you talk about? THEN: - Friday, his love life. HAHAHA. THEN: - yesterday; all kinds of stuff, lol, HAHAHA, but we last discusses about the gift his friends gave him and he was too lazy to read the instructions so i read it for him lol NOW: yesterday! we were talking about going to the beach

3. Would you rather be called ‘beautiful’ or ‘sexy’? Why? THEN: - beautiful bc when you say beautiful, it’s kinda all in all, your personality and stuff THEN: ^^ NOW: WHY PICK ONE, WHY NOT BOTH? 

4. Do you think someone is attracted to you? THEN: probably??? THEN: i honestly have no idea NOW: yeah

5. When was the last time you used public transport? THEN: last Friday THEN: yesterday NOW: the last time i went out? january 8

6. Are there any flirty messages in your inbox? THEN: - noooope THEN: nope NOW:

7. What age do you think is the right age to lose your virginity? Do you think people are losing it too soon these days? If so, why do you think people feel the need to lose it at a very young age? THEN: - idrk, maybe when you know your emotionally ready and you have a job bc you need to support your child yourself. yeah, bc sometimes teenagers don’t think about what’s going to happen to them if they got pregnant, what they have in mind is the happiness while doing it or something, idk, maybe bc being not a virgin is a huge part of your life and stuff and they like to brag to others and stuff THEN: ^^ NOW: hOLY SHIT IM ACTUALLY CRYING AT MY ANSWERS HAHAAHAHAAHA ANYWAYS, LOSING YOUR VIRGINITY DOESNT MEAN GETTING PREGNANT MARGARET, THERE’S CONTRACEPTIVES. OH MY GOD. But sorry for my past self, I won’t say that there’s a right age to lose your virginity? Some who lost them in such an early young age are probably thriving right now? It doesn’t matter? As long as it consensual and you’re in the right mindset of what you’re doing then I don’t see why it’s supposed to matter? Like they say virginity is a social construct, which you just fucking call when you first had sex. I do think people are losing it too soon but I don’t think that’s such a bad thing? It’s a fucking normal thing that humans long. What we should talk about the issue of unwanted pregnancies and sex education. But not the point that wherein really young people are doing it? I really can’t say, I don’t have much statistics. But I do feel like that CERTAIN people need to lose it since being a virgin is now such a big word. Which is what we need to demolish. If we just unhinge that word from it’s meaning then I don’t think everyone would make such a big fuss about it? You’re just another person to have sex for the first time? Congratulations, now everybody, move along?

8. Do you make an effort to be nice to people you dislike? Would you hang around with someone you disliked, if your other friends liked them? THEN: - yeah. well, me and my friends, dislike the same people so we’re fine THEN: ^^ NOW: yea, i actually do since i believe that even though you hate somebody else, it’s no excuse to be not nice to them? so i don’t get this plastic thing tbh

9. What’s the closest thing to you that’s green? THEN: - the couch i’m sitting on right now THEN: like a placemat i’m sitting on lol NOW: pillow

10. How exactly are you feeling at this moment? Why do you feel this way? THEN: - It’s so fucking cold, idk maaaaan. i’’m just rly feeling cold. HAHAHAHAHA. there’s this typhoon in our country and it’s just so cold THEN: OH GOD, i feel really sick and hot rn and i’ve been coughing all day :—( NOW: tired, my heart’s kind of hurting from the ashfall probably?

11 So, tell me a bit about your best friend of the opposite sex. Are you strictly just friends, or is there something more between you? THEN: - ooh, enzo, just in the past question we’re talkiing about his love life bc he broke up with this girl but i think they’re coming together again since they always talk and stuff. so we’re strictly just friends, and i don’t really like to be with him since i think it’s going to destroy our 3 years friendship THEN: still enzo, i mean this girl i’m talking about, enzo ended finally this may of this year, after lots of on and offs, and he’s not been with anyone since and it’s been the same for us, just friends, we cOOL bFFS 4 lyf NOW: OH MY GOD. THE GIRL WAS ESTER FUCK ME HAHAAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHA HOLY SHIT, but it’s cool that enzo’s still my best friend

12. When was the last time you felt severe physical pain? What was the reason for your pain? THEN: - ooooh, i hit my knee on the edge of my bed. GOOD. it hurts a fuckin lot THEN: i can’t exactly remember, like severe sooOOoo idk rly NOW: idk tbh HAHAHAHAHAHA 

13 . In your opinion, what makes someone attractive? Be as general or as specific as you like. THEN: - appearance bc you know that’s the first thing people see and the personality THEN: well i guess now, it’s kind of both, i mean, sometimes, you look at what he’s doing and and his personality and just look at the appearance next and you can actually consider it sOooOOo NOW: ummm his mIND OH MY GOD. tbh now that i’m thinking of it very deeply, that’s where his intentions come from, what he thinks of you, what he wants to do for you, how much he loves, IT ALL COMES FROM THERE. SO DAMN. IF YOU’RE BOY A GENIUS. KEEP HIM. BUT LIKE EMOTIONAL AND INTELLECTUAL GENIUS.

14. When things in life start going wrong, are you the kind of person who tends to fall apart, or do you try to stay strong and hold it together? THEN: i’m kind of mixture of both. HAHAHA. THEN: ^^ still both lol, depends on the situation NOW: FALL APART LMAO.

15. Someone tells you that you’re beautiful/good-looking. Do you agree with them? THEN: - depends on who the person is THEN: ^^ NOW: i’d say thank you

16. If I came round to your house to have dinner, what would you make for me? THEN: - oh god i don’t cook soooo. THEN: ^^ NOW: but who are you? 

17. How did you meet the last person you added as a friend on Facebook? THEN: - i haven’t add anyone on fb so idk THEN: i haven’t added someone for a long long time, prolly a teacher in my school for school purposes too NOW: i have no idea who i last added on facebook. damn. so that’s still me after 5 years wow.

18. What is your relationship with your mother like? Is it a close relationship, or do you distance yourselves from each other? Why do you think your relationship is the way it is? THEN: - my relationship with my mom is great, i can talk to her about anything and stuff THEN: ^^ NOW: yea i guess, we are pretty close but not to the point where i tell her EVERYTHING, that’s just creepy

19. Can you remember the very first conversation you had with the last person you texted? THEN: - it was kirsten and i met her at 2nd grade bc it was the first day of 2nd grade and i was new andit was a big school, i didn’t know anyone so i cried and she went up to me and asked me why was i crying HAHA THEN: it was danice, and i honestly can’t remember tbh HAHAHAHAHA, we met in 4th grade NOW: it was my mom and ofc i can’t remember our first conversation

20. Do you keep up to date with the charts? Are there any songs that are kind of old now, that you still like to listen to? THEN: - nah, bc, i kinda listen to everything that makes my ears happy. HAHA. yeah. THEN: ^^ NOW: oh, hell no. i don’t even know what are the bops these days. i’m a grandma when it comes to music.

21. Who or what has been on your mind the most today? THEN: - christmas. christmas. christmas. THEN: yes yes yes ^^^ NOW: aw,,, i really do like christmas,,, hehehe, um nothing tbh

22. At what age do you think you’ll be ready to think about having children? THEN: - maybe like 24-26? THEN: as long as i’m financially stable then i’m good NOW: never. having kids.

23. Put your iPod or any music player on shuffle and give me the first two lines from the first 10 songs selected. THEN: - ‘Some nights I stay up cashing in my bad luck; Some nights I call it a draw’ - ‘Cecilia, you’re breaking my heart; You’re shaking my confidence daily’ - 'First thing’s first, I’m the realest; Drop this and let the whole world feel it’ - 'Give me more lovin’ than I’ve ever had; Make it all better when I’m feelin’ sad’ - 'Baby, when they look up at the sky; We’ll be shooting stars just passing by’ - 'It’s just another night; And I’m staring at the moon’ - 'It’s probably what’s best for you; I only want the best for you’ - 'Saturday morning jumped out of bed and put on my best suit; Got in my car and raced like a jet, all the way to you’ - 'When your legs don’t work like they used to before; And I can’t sweep you off of your feet’ - 'so let’s sing na, na na na na, hey ya; cmon and sing na, na na na na, hey ya’ THEN: - ‘I am not that kind of girl, who should be rudely barging in on a white veil occasion’ - ‘And i hate to say i love you, when it’s hard for me’ - ‘Your love is bright as ever, even in the shadows’ -  I was born in the arms of imaginary friends, Free to roam, made a home out of everywhere I’ve been’ - ‘ My heart is sinking, As I’m lifting up’ - ‘ Wise men say, only fools rush in’ - ‘ Come on skinny love just last the year, Pour a little salt we were never here’ - ‘ He said, “Let’s get out of this town, Drive out of the city’ - ‘ Hush, don’t speak, When you spit your venom, keep it shut I hate it’ - ‘ I can taste salt water , And if I blink again’ NOW: OH MY GOD IM LAUGHING AT THOSE ANSWERS OKAY HERE’S MINE -  She's got a family in Carolina, So far away, but she says I remind her of home - You’re white dress, sparks words spontaneous -  Ain't never felt this way, Can't get enough so stay with me - After the war, I went back to New York, A-After the war, I went back to New York -  Darling, darling, doesn't have a problem, Lying to herself 'cause her liquor's top shelf - I wanna pick you up and scoop you out - I've got a secret for the mad, In a little bit of time it won't hurt so bad - Mr. Vice President, Mr. Madison, Senator Burr - You keep saying that you’re alright, but I can see you through your fake smile you’re not - 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9, There are 10 things you need to know

24. The last time you went for a night out, who did you go with? THEN: - i don’t rly go on night outs but maybe the last one will be last october 28 wt my friends THEN: i still don’t go on night outs, well i mean, the latest i came home this month was 10:30 and i was out christmas shopping with enzo so NOW: my college blockmates i think?

25. Do you know anyone who doesn’t use Facebook, or dislikes it? Do you like or dislike it? THEN: - yeah, one of my best friends, laya, she hates it HAHA but we need to use it for school stuff. and laya actually keeps an eye on things, she wants not to be noticed on fb and stuff HAHA. i don’t really dislike it but i don’t love it either THEN: well laya has not been ranting about fb and she’s been using it a lot for chat purposes so, as of now, i don’t know anyone NOW: i don’t think so, neither

26. Have you ever mistaken a complete stranger for someone you knew? THEN: - yeah, but i think, i haven’t came to them (*i came to them, 2020) and said hi HAHA THEN: yeah NOW: yea

27. What did you have for breakfast this morning? THEN: - just bread and peanut & butter, and i’m rly hungry rn THEN: well i got out of bed like 3:36 or something, and there was no food so i ate this good large bread HAHAHAHAH and just some nerds and chocolate and that’s all the food i’ve eaten today and it’s 8:40 already and i haven’t had a proper meal yet, i’m really hungry NOW: tocino

28. Have you ever made a promise to someone that you didn’t keep? THEN: -  yeah, i think we all have THEN: yeah NOW: yeah

29. Are you ever afraid to show how you feel? THEN: - yeah, i’m always afraid THEN: ^^ yep, i am still NOW: depends on who i am with

30. Have you ever been blamed or got into trouble for something that wasn’t your fault? THEN: - yeah THEN: yeah NOW: yeah

31. Have you ever wondered what death might be like, and what might happen afterwards? It’s depressing to think about I know, but do you have an opinion about it? THEN: - yeah, oh my gods, it’s just so confusing; what would the people feel if i died and stuff, and what would happen to me, would i still see my friends and stuff THEN: i’ve been reading a lot of books associated with death, i guess, and it’s making me think more, and i guess, it’s just sleeping forever and it’s quite creepy NOW: yea of course, i don’t really have an opinion about it? but i do wonder what happens next? do you really lose unconsciousness and just drift away? 

32. Tell me something you like about your life, and something you dislike about it. THEN: - oh god, it’s gotten pretttty chaotic, i’m miserable and depressed and confused than before THEN: my life rn has beeeen a complete mess, GOD, i don’t like it. i really feel down and i mean being on christmas break is actually heping me a lot sine there NOW: i honestly can’t think of one things that’s going in the right direction at the moment, yesterday I was fucking crying my eyes out and promised myself to get checked as soon as I can.

33. Choose 10 people at random. THEN: 1. Ysabel 2. David 3. Enzo 4. Ester 5. Laya 6. Earl 7. Pamela 8. Nica 9. Kirsten 10. Kris THEN: 1. Kirsten 2. Enzo 3. Laya 4. Danice 5. David 6. Hannah 7. Pamela 8. Ricafort 9. Ysabel 10. Vito NOW: 1. Kirsten 2. Raphael 3. Enzo 4. Kate 5. Derick 6. Aly 7. Cely 8. Miki 9. Joui 10. Vanessa

34. Do you think 1 would ever help you out if you were in trouble? - i hope so NOW: yea

35. Would you swap places with 2 for a week? - sure, HAHAHA NOW: HELL NO. 

36. What would you say if 3 asked you out? - yea sure HAHA NOW: sure

37. Who is taller, you or 4? - i have no idea, i think she is NOW: she is

38. Do you think 5 has ever lied to you? -  yeah, probably NOW: i dont think so?

39. Do you think 6 will ever get married? - yeah, why not NOW: yea

40. If you had to cook a meal for 7, what would you make? - i did the numbers random, and it ended up on pamela again HAHAHAHAA but still, bacon HAHA, the only thing i can make that she likes NOW: PANCIT CANTON HAHAAHAHHA

41. Do you think 8 will ever get married? - yeah. NOW: yea

42. If 9 turned up at your door now, what would you do/say? Would you let him/her in? - YA YA YA NOW: yea

43. When is 10’s birthday? - o god, i’m not rly sure lol, prolly april???? i’M SO SORRY VITO NOW: september 18

44. Have you ever felt jealous of 1? - yeah, i guess, but not that much NOW: yea i guess at some aspects like being rich lmao.

45. If 2 decided never to speak to you again, would you care? - OH GOD YES NOW: OF COURSE I WOULD OH MY GOD

46. What colour is 3’s hair? - black and brown NOW: black

47. Do you know what colour 4’s eyes are? - black NOW: black

48. When was the last time you talked to 5? What did you talk to him/her about? - yesterday, not much NOW: january 7 in chat, january 11.

49. Who has kissed the most people, you or 6? - we haven’t kissed anyone yet HAHAHA NOW: OMG I ACTUALLY HAVE NO IDEA!!! i feel like me? but still no idea

50. What is the age difference between you and 7? Who is older? - she’s older. but i’m still taller HAHAHAHA NOW: she is

51. Describe 8 - what does he/she look like? - oh, he’s dark brown, laya and i LOVEEEE his legs, it’s smooth, he has a pretty strong feminine side and he has a subtle curly hair, his teeth are quite crooked and HE’s REALLY FUNNY NOW: REALLY SMALL GIRL WITH A SMALL FACE and long hair and such a petite frame

52. Is 9’s house within walking distance? - no, it’s near our school and our school is 30 minutes away without traffic from our house NOW: NO WAY

53. What if you found out that 10 had sex with the person you love/like? - OH MY GOD well, starting they’re not gay and stuff but if it happened, i would just be shocked NOW: HOLY SHIT THAT IS PRETTY AND VERY UNLIKELY BUT HOLY SHIT. THAT’S VERY WEIRD SCENARIO TO PICTURE

54. Do you like your teeth? THEN: - i don’t love them but i don’t hate them either THEN: i hate it NOW: hate it

55. Have you ever been to the cinema to watch a film, and ended up walking out because you hated it? THEN: - nope THEN: i have never done it, it’s just like wasting money and why watch a film when you know you wouldn’t like it NOW: UGH NEVER, if you don’t like it then just sleep? it’s cozy in there

56. The last person you held hands with, is that person single? THEN: - it was carl, but we’re just friends, and it was a joke, and yes he’s single THEN: i can’t even remember NOW: no he’s not

57. How about the last person you messaged on Facebook, are they single? THEN: - yep THEN: yes NOW: nope

58. How old is the 11th person in your phone’s contacts list? THEN: - i have no idea THEN: - still have no idea NOW: i don’t know tbh, her late 20′s?

59. Does it bother you when people ask questions about your love life? THEN: - nah THEN: not rly since i have non HAHAHAHA NOW: not really

60. Does the last person you kissed have freckles? THEN: - nope THEN: i haven’t kissed anyone yet so NOW: nope

61. Is it easy for people to tell when you’re upset, or are you good at hiding it? THEN:  i have resting bitch face so people always think i’m mad or something THEN: ^^ NOW: I DONT HAVE A FUCKING RBF WHO WAS I KIDDING!!! OH MY GOD. i’m not good at hiding when im upset.

62. Have you ever thought about joining a dating site? THEN: - oh gods, idek. i really have no idea HAHAHA. but yeah lol THEN: sure why not lol, but i always thought about it being very awkward NOW: already did

63. On a scale of 1 to 10, how you would you rate your own appearance (going on how you look right now)? THEN: probably 6 lol. i look oily and my hair looks awful right now THEN: prolly a 7, because i feel like ‘I LOOK REALLY OKAY AND THIS IS NOT WHAT I LOOK LIKE WHEN THERE’S PEOPLE AROUND NOW: OH HOLY SHIT OH MY GOD A SOLID ZERO. 

64. On a scale of 1 to 10, how happy are you right now? THEN:  a 5, i just found out that my crush wants to bring evrything back gdi (Oh my GOD, HE DID NOT WANT EVERYTHING BACK, 2020) THEN: a 6, i guess NOW: 7????

65. On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate this survey? THEN: - like a 7? THEN: ^^ NOW: ^^