#choi san oneshot

[sungbeam]

𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐰 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧

nonidol!choi san x gn!reader (no prns mentioned)

turns out your upstairs neighbor has a cat who adores climbing through your window — oh, and said neighbor is also fine as hell.

3.7k words, neighbors au (2 lovers), fluff, maybe like two swear words, drinking, lots of mentions of food

a/n: low-key just read this like ur watching the highlight reel of a romcom lol but @jaehunnyy for u 💖 i hope u like it :'))

It all started about seven months ago when a gorgeous Thai cat waltzed into your apartment via the open window. It was a late July afternoon, stifling hot and sticky, meaning you had your window opened and the mobile fan set up to blow cool air into the apartment.

You were, for once, not at work. Because the art museum you worked at downtown was currently undergoing reconstruction, you were stuck in your apartment trying (failing) to sell prints off your low-traffic Etsy shop while also trying (failing) to make popsicles.

“Why is this so complicated?” You grumbled aloud as you sat on top of your kitchen counter with your knees pulled beneath your chin. You scrolled down the recipe again on your laptop screen, nose wrinkled at the amount of convoluted steps listed. “Too fancy,” you decided, slamming your laptop lid closed.

Immediately, you hissed, lifting the lid to make sure you hadn't cracked the screen from closing it too hard. Thankfully, there were no cracks visible and you breathed out a sigh of relief. You could not afford a broken—

“Holy shit!” You nearly fell off the back of the island counter at the sight of a light gray cat with black tipped ears, paws, and tail seated on the floor before you.

The cat meowed an innocent greeting.

You pressed your hand to your hammering heart and shifted to get a grip on your position atop the counter. “How—? Where…?” Your eyes drifted to the open window.

Oh. Well, that would explain it.

You glanced back at the cat, who peered up at you once more. “Meow.”

Carefully, you climbed down from the counter as to not scare the creature with any sudden movements. “Hey, baby. Where did you come from, hm?” You cooed, extending your hand out as an offer to be sniffed.

The cat unfurled its tail out from around its body and crept toward your hand. With an experimental sniff, you were deemed safe, and the cat rubbed the side of its face affectionately against the back of your knuckles.

Your chest nearly exploded from the cute interaction. You lowered yourself to your knees, gently taking a peek at the silver charm attached around the collar. There you found the engraving of a star in the metal circle.

“I'm guessing this has something to do with your name?” You hummed, reaching up to scratch the feline behind the ears and head. At least you had an inkling that this little one belonged to someone. You just didn't know how to find out who they were.

“I guess you can hang out with me,” you sighed and stood up with your hands on your hips. You didn't mind the company, after all, and maybe this could be a point of inspiration.

About three hours later, the summer sun still hung relatively high in the sky and you were trying to figure out what to feed the cat when there came a sudden knock at your front door. Really, the “sudden knock” was a series of rushed, panicked DUDUDUDU sounds. You nearly jumped out of your skin for the second time in one afternoon, and even the cat seemed to leap.

Well, the cat only looked mildly annoyed that her nap was interrupted, but she seemed content to give a languid stretch and join you in seeing who was so alarmed at your door.

When you peered out the peephole, your eyes shot open.

There was a pretty man at your door.

You glanced down at the cat who looked back up at you. You mouthed to her, pointing at the door, ‘Do you know this guy?’

As expected, she did not answer. Lovely.

You weren't exactly in appropriate garb to see people. You had thrown on something cool enough to not make you melt like one of the popsicles you weren't able to make earlier, and enough to cover any necessary areas. You were sure your hair looked about as luxurious as a barn, and there wasn't a lick of cosmetics on your face.

It was fine, you told yourself. You probably weren't even going to see this guy ever again.

You opened the door. “Hello? Can I help you?” You asked through the chain linking the door shut.

The man flashed you a flustered, dimpled smile at you. His dark hair was damp, like he just came out of a shower, and he had on a muscle tee that was definitely doing its job, and a pair of basketball shorts. “Hi! So sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if you've seen a Thai cat wandering around here about yea high—?”

“Meow.” The cat at your feet shoved her way between the gap you made with the door and out into the hallway.

Your eyes widened another smidge, until the man outside released a gasp of relief and bent down to scoop the feline up into his arms. You unlatched your door and opened it fully now, the man holding the cat to his face as if he was communicating with her telepathically.

“That's the cat, I'm guessing?” You mused.

He tucked her back into his arm and his smile became sheepish. “Yes, I am so sorry about her. I came back home from work and she wasn't in the apartment, but thank you for dealing with her for however long she was here.”

You waved off his concern with your hand, sending him a kind smile. “Don’t worry about it, really. She's adorable. What's her name, by the way?”

“Oh, this is Byeol,” he cooed, lifting Byeol's paw up to wave at you.

Swoon. Your smile widened as you waved back at them both. “Well, it was nice to meet you, both Byeol and…?”

“San,” he answered. God, he was gorgeous. That smile… “And you are?”

“Yn.” You shook each other's hands in the dim hallway light.

“Nice to meet you, too, Yn.” He lit up, pointing up to the ceiling. “Hey, I'm pretty sure I'm your upstairs neighbor!”

You opened the door to your apartment wider so you could show him your open window. “Well, that would definitely explain how she got down onto my fire escape,” you chuckled.

He whistled lowly. “Man, cats are scary sometimes. I'll definitely try to keep an eye on whenever she's near my window now.” He ran the back of his knuckles down Byeol's spine. “I don't wanna take up any more of your time, but thanks again.”

“No worries! Have a nice night.”

“You too!”

San began walking back toward the stairs at the end of the hallway, and you were about to close the door when you thought you heard him chastising his cat in hushed tones. You laughed to yourself as you locked up your front door. You wouldn't mind if Byeol came traipsing down your fire escape again.

And she would. About three times a week when San had a later shift at the boxing gym he worked at (yes, a boxing gym… good lord). Byeol oftentimes expected you to have your window open, and if you didn't already have it open, she would sit out on the fire escape until you did.

Two months into the fire escape escapades, you gave up and left the window open just enough for her to squeeze through while you returned to work.

San would always come down to your apartment to retrieve her, and at some point, decided to swing by your apartment on his way up instead just to make sure she wasn't already here.

By month four when the days were shorter and the nights dragged longer and colder, you couldn't exactly keep the window open, lest you wanted to freeze your ass off in the safety of your apartment. Byeol would hop down the fire escape in the evenings when you were back so you could let her in, only for her owner to come barreling down the stairs, dimpled cheeks flushed and exasperated.

“I swear she likes you more than me,” he guffawed from where he stood out in the hallway as he always did. He shook his head as he watched the Thai feline waltz around his legs once, then circle back into your apartment. He arched a brow at her. “Look at her strutting. She knows exactly what she's doing.”

You swore there was a dash of red gracing his cheekbones now.

You bit your lip through a smile. “Well, you're welcome to come in. I was just about to eat dinner and I don't really think I can finish this roast chicken alone.”

“Ah, I don't really wanna impose,” he drawled, scratching the back of his neck and peering at you from beneath those lengthy lashes of his. He knew what he was doing—he had to know what he was doing. If Byeol could strut, then so could Choi San.

He promised to take you up on your offer as long as you let him run upstairs to grab a bottle of wine to contribute.

The last thing you expected to happen was to hear a knock on your window less than ten minutes later. You nearly jumped out of your skin at the sound, folding over in laughter when you saw him waving to you on the other side with cold-bitten cheeks and a red-tipped nose. He clutched a bottle of red in one hand and gestured furiously to the window latch. “It's fucking freezing!”

“Okay, okay,” you grinned, walking over to let him inside. “Just so you know,” you said as Byeol welcomed her owner into your apartment, “usually it's just cats who come in this way.”

“Well, you might have to get used to a cat and a human coming in now,” he teased. San presented you the wine bottle with a flourish. “Milady, your beverage.”

“Why, thank you, good sir,” you jested and accepted the offering. “Make yourself at home!”

What you didn't expect was for such a statement to be taken so literally, and yet, you had no complaints.

Three months further along—making it seven in total since that first hot July day Byeol came in through the open window—you and San (and Byeol) were cooped up in your apartment as usual. It was a Friday night with dinner on the table, a TV show playing in the background, and a pair of wine glasses for the pair of you. Over the past few months, sharing a dinner together had become a weekly event wherein San would come in via window, and the two of you would have the evening together.

Sometimes it was just dinner, sometimes it was dinner and a movie, and sometimes it was even dinner, a movie, and drunk Pictionary. But every Friday night was yours and San's night.

Plus, he turned out to be a much better cook, so you definitely couldn't argue when he somehow wrestled his entire Le Creuset pot down the fire escape to feed you the most divine lobster mac 'n’ cheese you had ever tasted. (As if you'd ever had lobster mac 'n’ cheese before…)

“I feel like it would just be more convenient if I came up to your apartment instead,” you said with enthusiasm, your free arm flailing around as you melted dark chocolate on a double boiler upon the stove top. While San had the right side of the stove for his chicken and gnocchi soup, you had the left to prepare tonight's mousse for dessert. If San made dinner, you figured you could at least learn a thing or two about a dessert course.

He chuckled, “I mean, I'm not opposed if you ever get tired of hosting. I'm kind of a creature of habit though, which is why I don't mind coming down every week, but it's up to you, sweets.”

Oh, right. And the nickname. You couldn't even pinpoint when that started, but again, you weren't complaining.

“I don't mind hosting either,” you told him, “it's just that it's either you leave your super expensive cookware here or I go upstairs. I don't think Le Creuset has fire escape insurance.”

“You're not wrong about that.” You felt his hand gently brush against your waist as he slipped past you to get to the spice cabinet on your left. “Behind you,” he murmured by your ear before grabbing the jar of Himalayan salt (also his) and returning to his station behind his pot.

You couldn't deny the pitter-patter of your heart around him either. Things were coming to a point that you didn't know how to label. But perhaps that was the beauty of everything slipping into place. You carried on, “I think I've seen your apartment once, and that was when Byeol wouldn't stop meowing until I followed you guys.” You laughed to yourself at the memory. That had been an interesting night.

“If it's any consolation, your apartment has much more life in it than mine.”

“That's a lie,” you said pointedly. “Yours is just more meticulous.”

He snorted. “Meticulous. Might as well be as barren as a clinic.”

You passed him a glance. “I offered to paint your walls…”

San beamed back at you, dimples creating divots in the apples of his cheeks. “And I never said no! But—I do think that it should be something the both of us do together.”

Your brows creased as you took the chocolate off the stove to fold into the other mixture you'd set aside. “You wanna paint with me?”

“Yeah,” he said, almost bashfully. “I think it'd be a fun bonding and learning experience. And it would be cool to see you in your element, besides when you're drunk.”

The latter comment had you turning away to laugh. “Fair enough.”

When dinner was ready to be dined, and the mousse was freezing in the fridge, you and San sat at the kitchen island with your matching bowls of hot soup and glasses of lemon water for the night. Neither of you had remembered to buy wine for the week (surprisingly), but one week without alcohol wouldn't hurt.

The two of you clinked your glasses together, toasting to another week survived.

You took a sip, then spooned the soup into your mouth, wiggling around on your stool in a little happy dance as the flavors did their own dance on your tongue.

San smiled around his own bite. He swallowed, then said, “You know, I always know I did well when you do that.”

“Do what?”

“That cute little dance,” he chuckled. “I’m glad it tastes good, is what I'm saying, sweets.”

Your skin warmed, and you managed to convince yourself it was the soup or the heater or something and not the beautiful man beside you. “Then get used to the happy jig, because everything you cook tastes divine. You should be a chef, San.”

“I could've,” he shrugged, “but I kind of like this little life.” He gestured to you with his spoon, a twinkle in his eyes. “Don't you?”

For a moment, you let the smile slowly unfurl onto your lips. You lifted your own spoon in agreement. “You're right. It's a lovely, little life.”

Now that you were in agreement, you fell into a comfortable silence as you both enjoyed your dinner in one another's presence. Byeol was hunched over her own bowl of food just by the foot of your stool, against the adjacent side of the island. You'd gone out and bought her a pair of food and water bowls, as well as her preferred food. San had been touched by the gesture, and Byeol most definitely appreciated it.

San wiped his mouth with his napkin. “Oh, by the way, next week.”

You hummed. “What about it?”

“Are you doing anything?”

You perked up, eyebrows lifting to your hairline. “Why do you ask?” It was usually unsaid by now that Friday nights were set aside for the two of you to share an evening, which was why you were confused by his question.

And then he explained, “It's Valentine's Day, so I just wanted to make sure I didn't interrupt or assume anything.” He'd said it so casually and easily that you nearly missed the slight nervousness in his voice, or the minor intonation of hope. “I mean,” he fumbled, “if you do have something planned, then it's no worries, really. There are plenty of other weeks—”

You shook your head, finishing off your water after having scraped your bowl clean. “I'm not doing anything,” you said. “Well, besides what we usually do.” You chuckled to yourself, “To be honest, Valentine's Day completely slipped my mind this year.”

And if you were truly being honest with yourself, every Friday felt like Valent—no. You shouldn't think like that. It would only make things worse about how you felt for him now. Plus, these past few months with San felt far too casual, too domestic, to be like Valentine's Day. Was Valentine's Day not for grand gestures and romance? This wasn't grand… though, you could probably argue about the romantic part…

“No, I feel the same way,” he nodded. “My friend Wooyoung just asked today if I was up to go to a single's party, which was why I suddenly remembered.”

Ah. “Oh, are you planning on going?” Wine sounded pretty good right about now.

He grimaced. “Probably not. I—I was kind of hoping you wanted to still do dinner next week—but, like, it doesn't have to mean anything besides how it usually is. If that's what you're comfortable with.”

It doesn't have to mean anything besides how it usually is. What if you wanted it to mean more than how it usually was? There was nothing inherently wrong with how it usually was, but you couldn't deny that a part of you yearned for more. That part of you imagined what it was like if San didn't have to come see you via fire escape, and he was always in the same space as you.

There was a pause as you wrestled with your own conscience about how or if you were going to admit it to him.

He pressed his lips together. “I've made you uncomfortable.”

“No, you haven't made me uncomfortable,” you assured him swiftly. “I just…” You sighed, pressing a hand to your forehead then returning it to your lap. “Of course, I would love to have dinner with you next week, but I’d like it to mean something else—if you are comfortable with that.”

You watched as that beautiful smile you'd come to grow more fond of blossom onto his face. “I'd be more than comfortable with that—I’d be really happy with that, actually.”

“Good,” you said softly, unable to bite your own smile away. “Then dinner next week, it is.”

There was something fundamentally different about this next Friday night compared to the others. Specifically, the context by which you and San went into the Friday evening of Valentine's Day was completely different. The apartment was aglow with the same warmth as it usually boasted, but there was a bouquet of blood red roses in a glass vase on the kitchen counter beside a bottle of red wine.

San was at the stove, finishing off the last bit for dinner before it needed to simmer for a good thirty minutes. You were in the living room portion of your apartment, flipping through the vinyl records to play before you pulled one out and set it up. As you moved the needle onto the record, you placed the empty cover back into its slot and turned toward the kitchen.

You froze in your spot, skin warming at the sight of San leaning over the island counter with an adoring look in his eyes as he watched you. “What?” You laughed, subconsciously adjusting the sleeve of your blouse.

“Nothing,” he smiled. “You're just—you’re gorgeous.”

You were sure if your face didn't give it away, there must have at least been hearts floating around your head. “You cannot just say that,” you chided weakly as you walked over to where he was, your expression growing shy.

His smile widened and he rounded the counter to stand in front of you, your back pressed against the edge of the counter. “I can, too,” he teased. He stepped back once and held his arms out, fingers flicking toward him to beckon you forward. “C'mere. Can you dance?”

“Some.” Your eyebrows arched upward as you stepped forward and took his hands in yours. “Dancing and romancing, Choi San? What magic do you hope to enchant me with tonight?” You joked, moving your left hand to his shoulder.

“Perhaps magic that will leave your window open for me on nights other than Fridays,” he said sheepishly as the two of you began to sway to the music waltzing out from the record player. “Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your fire escape—”

You let out a laugh, ducking your head toward your chests. He did the same, an embarrassed grin coming onto his face as his nose nudged against yours.

“That was god awful,” he winced in apology.

“It was,” you agreed teasingly, “but I'll let it slide because you're cute.”

He shot you a bright smile. “Oh? So I'm cute? I guess that makes two of us.”

You weren't really sure at what point you realized you had fallen for this man. It was sometime between the Himalayan salt lectures and the dancing like an old married couple in your kitchen, maybe. You thought about the day he showed up at your door panicking about a missing cat, and to a future where you might have found yourself in his living room painting murals on his walls. Or perhaps… not his living room, but both of yours.

As you danced with your chests pressed together, hearts beating rapidly in sync, you gazed into those beautiful, dark brown irises of his and sank further and further into those feelings. They were gradually making themselves a home in your chest.

“What're you thinking about, sweets?” He murmured as you tucked your head against his shoulder and the arm he had around your waist rubbed the small of your back.

The smell of his cologne made you inhale deeply. You could get used to this—his smell, the feel of his body under your fingertips, his presence intertwined with yours taking up space in the best possible way. “I'm thinking that Byeol is a good matchmaker.”

His chuckle rumbled through him and softly into your ear. “You're definitely right about that.”

a/n: pls remember to reblog and comment if u enjoyed!

atz m.list

permanent taglist: @flwoie @vatterie @seomisaho @hqrana @ja4hyvn @outrologist @rikizm @tinkerbell460 @meosjinn @hyunjaespresent-deobi @stayarmytinyzenmoa-l @floatingpluto @gyulfriend @jaehunnyy @shakalakaboomboo @soonyoungblr @justanotherkpopstanlol @kangfication @pxppxrminty @fluorescentloves @haechansbbg @jaerisdiction @super-btstrash-posts @jundundun @http-gyu @mvvnsseul @mars101 @kflixnet

[makeitmingi]

Drunk In Love

Genre: Romance, Fluff, Comedy

Pairing: San x Reader (y/n)

Characters: Girlfriend!Reader, Boyfriend!San

Summary: After a great night out with your best friends, San did not expect to have to deal with an intoxicated you. However, despite his best efforts to convince you, you were adament on not cheating on your sweet boyfriend waiting at home.. whose name was also ‘Choi San’?

Word count: 3.3K

[A/N: This is just a really sweet, fluffy scenario with caring boyfriend San. So if you don’t like it or find it cringey/ cheesy/ etc, you might not enjoy this.]

“Hello, aegi? Are you having fun?” San pressed the phone to his ear. You had been waiting to go out with your friends for so long. And being the ever supportive boyfriend, San was excited for you. 

“Uhhh............. Hello?” 

“I’m still here, aegi.” San chuckled. Despite his laughter, he got up from the couch, going to get his jacket. He knew you were going for drinks but from the way you were talking and the slight slur in your voice, it sounds like you had a drink too much. 

“I wanna go home~” 

“Alright, don’t whine. I’ll come pick you up, where did you say you were going again?” San asked as he fished through his work bag for his car keys. Then he sat down to wear his shoes.

“I’m sleepy...” 

“Don’t sleep yet, aegi. Can you pass your phone to one of your friends, please?” He requested kindly. After he was able to get the location from your friend, San drove to the pub that you were at with your friends. 

Although, he is a very careful driver, he does admit to going a little over the speed limit while getting to you. San hadn’t really seen you drunk before but he knew alcohol made you sleepy and whiny, which was why he was slightly worried about your safety. Not that he didn’t trust your friends but they sounded like they had a few drinks as well. 

“(y/n)?” San entered the pub. No doubt, despite the dim lights, San’s good looks caught the attention of a few patrons there.

“San! Over here.” Your friends waved him over. When San arrived, he absolutely melted at the sight of you. You were curled up against your friend’s side, blinking to keep yourself awake.

“Aegi?” San spoke a little louder since the pub’s music was blasting. 

“Aegi? It’s time to go home.” He helped you sit up. He cupped your cheek with one hand, searching your eyes. 

“Hey, who are you?! Don’t touch me!” You frowned, slapping his hands away angrily. It seems that you were so far gone that you didn’t even recognise your own boyfriend. 

“Baby star, it’s me. You don’t recognise me?” He laughed.

“No! I don’t know who you are. I’m sorry, mister. But I have a boyfriend.” You crossed your arms with a pout. 

“(y/n)! That is your boyfriend, silly.” One of your friend giggled, seeing how you were rejecting San. You still had the frown on your face, squinting your eyes to try and see the man’s face with the dim light. You held his cheeks in your hands, squishing his face. 

“No, don’t know you.” You insisted. 

“I’ll take her home. Thanks, everyone.” San smiled to your friends. They all waved to your boyfriend as San gently helped you to your feet. You swayed slightly but San steadied you. 

“Mister, where are you taking me?” You asked innocently as San led you to the exit of the club. 

“We’re going home, aegi.” San said. 

“I already told you, I have a boyfriend.” You reminded. San nodded his head, leading you to the car. Because there were people standing outside smoking, he didn’t want you to inhale so much smoke. 

“Let’s talk in the car, okay?” He opened the door for you. You did willingly sit down in the passenger seat. 

“There we go.” Reaching over, he fastened your seatbelt for you. San removed his jacket and placed it over your lap, covering your legs so you wouldn’t be cold.

“Sleepy...” You yawned. You reminded San of a fiesty kitten and it was adorable. He reached over to stroke your head.

“Sleep then, aegi.” He encouraged. You didn’t need to be told twice as the sleep washed over you and you fell asleep immediately. As San drove back to your shared home, he made sure not to go over the speed bumps too quickly. He didn’t want to risk you bumping your head against the window too heard with where it was currently resting. 

When San pulled up, he didn’t want to wake you. You were so fast asleep that he couldn’t bring himself to. So he unbuckled your seatbelt, slipping his arms under your smaller frame and brought you upstairs.

“Woah, aegi. Be careful.” San steadied himself, nearly falling with how you suddenly tried to sit up in his arms.

“Hang on, hang on.” He placed you down on the couch and went to lock the main door. 

“W-Where am I?” You blinked in confusion. 

“You don’t recognise your own home, darling?” San raised an eyebrow. He bent down to help you remove your shoes, even massaging your feet for a bit. High heels always made your feet ache. 

“Thank you, mister.” You whispered, grateful that he freed your feet, despite thinking he was some strange man that is trying to have his way with you.

“You’re very welcome.” San grinned. 

“Since you helped me... I guess I can ask what your name is. Hi... Name is (y/n). I still have a boyfriend though.” You tried to string together the best sober sentence you could now. You even held out a hand to shake. San stifled his laughter with his sleeve.

“Hi, (y/n). I’m Choi San. And of course I would help you, you’re so pretty.” He introduced back, reaching out to shake your hand. At his words, you frowned again, pulling your hand back.

“San... H-Hey! My boyfriend’s name is San too! ... Are you brothers... or something?” You obviously thought having the same name meant that.

“No... well, actually... No, we’re not.” San didn’t really know what to say. 

“Oh...” You nodded your head, seemingly disappointed. If you had puppy ears, they would be pressed against your head now. You thought you had a genius eureka moment but with his words, you just felt dumb now. 

“Alright. Let’s go.” He smiled up at you. He held his hand out to you. You stood up, shyly slipping your hand into his. 

“We have to change you out of your clothes and into comfy clothes to sleep.” San sat you down on the bed. He grabbed one of his shirts for you to wear to sleep in. 

“No! I have a boyfriend!” You grabbed onto your dress like your life depended on it when San tried to remove it. He sighed, not really sure how to convince you. In your drunken state, you really looked terrified of him. And even if he knew you wouldn’t remember this tomorrow morning, he still hated scaring you into doing something you were clearly afraid of.

“I’m just changing you into a shirt, aegi. It would be much more comfortable for you.” San wiped a stray tear that slipped down your cheek. He placed his hand on the white shirt that he had taken out. 

“Promise you won’t hurt me?” You looked at him with doe eyes.

Wow, you were really really drunk. But you were so endearing and it made San want to take care of you more. He thought you were the cutest thing ever that you wanted to remain loyal to him despite your intoxicated state. 

“Aegi, I would never hurt you.” He caressed your cheek with a loving smile. You thought about it for a while before nodding. 

“Don’t try anything... My boyfriend will beat you up. He has been working out a lot and has a lot of muscles... that he can fight you.” You threatened. 

“Alright.” San removed your dress and slipped the shirt over your head. He guided your arms through the correct openings then reached underneath to unclasp your bra to remove it. 

“There we go. All done.” San put your clothes in the laundry bin. Then he carried you to the bathroom, sitting you down on the closed toilet bowl. 

“Open.” San coaxed. He began to help you brush your teeth. Luckily, you still knew to gargle and spit. 

“Sit here, okay? I’ll be right back.” He told you. You nodded your head obediently, placing your hands over your knees like a child. San went to into your bedroom and came back with a small box that he took from your vanity table. It was your makeup remover pads.

“Close your eyes, aegi.” He instructed. You did as your were told and closed your eyes. Opening the box, San took out a cotton pad and gently wiped your make up away.

“Does it hurt?” He asked, not wanting to use too much force.

“Nope!” You chirped. As he continued to help you clean your face, San had a soft smile on the entire time. He liked seeing you without make up. 

After wiping your makeup, San proceeded to wipe your face with a damp cloth and did your skincare routine for you. He has been with you long enough and watched you long enough to know all the steps to your entire routine.

“This is taking too long.” You whined with a pout as you continued to keep your eyes closed. San remembers how he used to complain that you have too many steps in your routine.

“Every step is an essential step baby.” San repeats your words to him, back to you. You swung your legs as you waited. 

“Does your boyfriend treat you well?” He asked to try and make you more patient.

“Mhmm! He is suuuuuuuuuuper nice. And he loves me. And... And... he cuddles me a lot. I like it when he cuddles me.” You spoke, successfully distracted by him. 

“Do you?” He raised an eyebrow in amusement. You continued to talk about how much you love and appreciate your amazing boyfriend San. San just listened, letting out noises of acknowledgement to tell you that he was still listening to you talk. It embarrassed him but also warmed his heart to hear you gush about him like this.

“You must really love him.” San said. 

“I do. He’s the best person in the whole wide world.” You extended your arms to emphasis how much you love him. San kissed the top of your head lovingly. He threw away the used cotton pads and washed his hands. 

“Just a bit more.” Wetting another towel, San began to wipe your body, mainly your arms and your legs. He didn’t want to risk you hurting yourself with a shower. 

“Hands.” He said and you showed him your hands to wipe. As he took care of you, San made sure to give you plenty of kisses.

“You know... Now that I think about it. You really look like my Sannie...” You stated as San stood by the sink to rinse the cloth and wring it dry. He gently wiped your neck, lifting your hair to wipe the back too.

“I do?” 

“Yeah... But my Sannie looks best when he is wearing his glasses. He looks really smart and handsome.” You giggled, the starstruck look in your eyes. 

San always felt a little insecure about wearing his glasses. But he was glad to know that you thought he was the most good looking when he was wearing them. He will definitely wear them more now. 

“Good job, my love. We’re all done. We can finally head to bed.” Instead of making you walk, San carried you again. He placed you down onto the bed on your side and removed his shirt to put it in the laundry pile, being used to sleeping shirtless. Seeing that, you yelped and covered your eyes as if he had just flashed you. 

“You’re naked!” You screeched.

“I only removed my shirt, aegi.” San chuckled, getting into bed. As he got under the covers, he encircled his arms around you to pull you close to him. Your forehead pressed against his chest.

“You smell like my shirt.” You mumbled. San snickered at your nonsensical words and observation. 

“Because you are wearing my shirt, aegi. You always like wearing my shirts because they smell like me.” He explained patiently, continuing to stroke your head. You nodded your head slowly, processing his words.

“Why do you call me aegi?” You asked randomly, tracing circles on his skin with your finger.

“Because you are my baby.” San smiled softly, looking down at you. 

“I am?” You blinked back up at him. He nodded his head with a hum, leaning down to give you a kiss. You let out a shy giggle.

“Am I your only baby?” 

“Yes, you are my one and only baby. And I love you.” San could entertain your drunk questions forever. The way his professions of love made you blush and get all giddy made him fall in love with you even more. You buried your face into his chest shyly.

“I’m sleepy...” You repeated the same words you’ve been claiming throughout the night. You yawned, blinking a few times. San tightened his arms around you, patting your back soothingly. 

“Go to sleep, aegi.” He coaxed you like a baby. If there’s one thing you wouldn’t let San do while sober is baby you. 

“Will you stay with me?” You asked. 

“Of course, I will. I won’t leave you, I promise.” He chuckled, reaching out to cup your cheek and kiss you again. You hummed, resting your head on his arm comfortably. San watched your eyes slowly close as you finally fell asleep. 

It was about 5 am when you stirred awake. The back of your neck and head was throbbing, making you wince softly. San poked open an eye, being woken up by your noise and movement. 

“San?” You croaked. He grunted, an acknowledgement that he was listening to you despite his eyes being closed.

“I love you.” You pressed your face into his chest.

“I love you more, aegi... It’s still early, go back to sleep.” San used a hand to gently massage to back of your neck to relieve some tension there. You melted into his touch immediately and went back to sleep. 

When you finally woke up, it was about 1pm. You reached over to find San’s side of the bed empty. You wanted to get up and look for your missing lover but the moment you sat up, your head hurt so bad that you fell back onto the mattress. The loud wince and groan that you let out made your boyfriend run into the room worriedly.

“Are you okay? What’s wrong?” San frowned. He had an apron on, evident that he was cooking. 

“My head hurts.” You groaned. 

“I’m sure it must be. I’m making some food for you. After that you can take some painkillers and rest.” San sat on at the edge of the bed, carefully moving the hair away from your face. 

“Why are you so nice to me, Sannie?” You looked up at him. San laughed at your question, reminding him of your drunken self last night.

“Because you are my baby.” He gave the same answer. Seeing him try to stifle his laugh, you glared at him.

“How bad was I last night?” You asked.

“You weren’t bad, aegi. In fact, you were very cute. I think last night was the cutest I’ve ever seen you.” He tapped your nose. However, you knew that was not a good indication. 

“Oh no. What did I do...?” 

“You didn’t do anything, per say. It was adorable how you kept reminding me that you had a boyfriend whose name was also Choi San like me. And you threatened me that he will beat me up if I try anything funny because he has been going to the gym.” He barely scraped the surface.

“Oh, just end me now.” Your cheeks burned in embarrassment. You dove under the blanket to hide. San didn’t hold back now, bursting out in loud laughter, even holding his stomach. 

“Stop it!” You scolded.

“It’s alright, aegi. At least I know you remember you have a boyfriend named Choi San. And you think I’m strong enough to beat someone up.” San chuckled. Your fist emerged from under the blanket, punching his thigh. 

“I’ll come call you when the food is done, okay?” He opened the blanket to lean down and kiss you before covering you back up.

Of course, San didn’t tell you how you gushed about him. That was a conversation only between drunk you and him. It will be his secret to keep forever. 

“Aegi, food’s ready.” San came back into the room. As much as you wanted to stay hidden forever, the food he cooked made your stomach grumble. You poked your head out from the blanket.

“There’s my beautiful princess.” He smiled. He held your hand to lead you out.

“It smells so good.” You said, sitting down at your small dining table. It was ever only you and San so there was never a need for a big table. 

“I’m glad. Eat more so your tummy won’t feel so sick.” San scooped you a bowl of comforting rice porridge. Even if your stomach was churning uncomfortably, you knew San’s food would make you feel better. He even took out some marinated abalone that his mother always send to him. You took a spoon and ate a mouthful.

“Ah! It’s hot!” You stuck your tongue out. 

“You have to blow on it. It was just off the stove.” San smiled. When you took another scoop, San leaned forward to blow on it for you. He placed a small piece of kimchi on top too. 

“Thank you. Aren’t you going to eat too, Sannie?” You asked after swallowing your food. 

“Maybe later. Watching you eat makes me feel full.” San leaned his head on his hand. You gave him a flat look, reaching out to punch his arm.

“Stop that. Get a bowl for yourself, please. I don’t want to eat on my own.” You begged, knowing that was the only way to get him to eat with you. San complied, going to get himself a bowl too. You waited for him to finish putting seaweed flakes and to sit down before you continued. 

“Are you feeling better?” He asked. 

“Yeah.” The warm food was really helping to settle your stomach. San may not be the best cook but he did know how to make comforting food for you. 

“Good. I took the medication out for you to take after this. Have it with the hangover cure.” San nodded over to the counter. 

“But it’s so bitter... There’s a reason why I didn’t take it before I drank.” You pouted. 

“Be good. It’ll help you feel better.” He stroked your hair. You knew he was treating you the same way that you treated him when he came home drunk after drinking with his friends.

There was always hangover cure in the house because you and San did not hold your liquor well. 

“You really know how to take care of people, San.” You laughed. San chuckled, his ears turning red from your compliment.

“I know how to take care of you.” He corrected. You agreed, San was always good at caring for you whether you were sick or just not feeling your best. He always made sure you had everything you needed. 

“Just like how you care for me when I have my down moments too.” San reached over to hold your hand on your lap. You smiled at him, squeezing his hand lovingly. You and San knew how to take care of each other, which made you the perfect couple. 

“What would I do without you?” 

“There’s no need to think about that. Because you wouldn’t be without me. Wherever you go, I’ll be there with you.” He grinned. 

[cheollipop]

⚜ 𝙤𝙗𝙨𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣

navi | taglist

pairing: choi san x fem!reader

w.c.: 6.5k

genre: mafia au, smut, mutual pining, some fluff, tiny bit of angst, some dark themes, slightly ambiguous ending

In a city where the mere whisper of his name sent shivers of terror through its core, Choi San's barbarous reputation proved powerless to dissuade you from delving deeper, the glint in the feline eyes cast upon you exposing a sliver tenderness hidden beneath the façade of bloodlust.

⚜ warnings: mentioned death/murder (no one significant), insensitivity from all major characters to said murder, san is lowkey psychotic, and an asshole, reader is a badass bitch, gun play (kinda?), service/soft dom!san, bratty!reader, unprotected sex (👎), kinda public sex, exhibitionism, mutual masturbation, creampie, begging, praise, some cockwarming, san gets whiny, he is whipped your honour, not your typical mafia boss ehehe, nicknames (baby, darling; sannie), I believe that's it. ^^

⚜ A/N: this is entirely self-indulgent. who doesn't want a psychotic mafia boss obsessing over their very being? happy reading! ^_^

nsfw under the cut—minors dni 🔞

Another day dragging on for far too long, tedious — incompetent employees getting paid to induce headaches rather than doing their jobs, new clients unaware of who they’d gotten themselves involved with, augmenting the torturous panging against San’s skull. His eyebrow twitched, a bead of sweat hanging onto the thick hairs, another trailing down the ink decorating his slick chest. He’d thought a late-night rendezvous would silence the ringing in his head, but the cheap perfume, the bright lipstick, the obnoxious, high-pitched tone of her voice only amplified it. And yet, the woman now laid beneath him, his fingers digging into one of her tits while pornographic moans rolled off her tongue. With her head thrown back, she missed the grimace painting San’s features, but his hips were undeterred, continuing their ruthless rhythm while her ringing voice pierced through his eardrums. He just needed release, even if it were aided by a woman he had not a lick of interest in.

The door cracked open, a bleached head of hair peeking into the hotel room before his tall frame followed to stand in the doorway. San didn’t stop, simply shutting his eyes to drown out his surroundings and the pain shooting through his head.

“We’ve got trouble, boss,” the gravelly tone dragged San’s attention away from the distractions he attempted to draw up in his mind, eyes cracking open with an irked exhale.

“Important enough for you to interrupt me?” he spat, his thrusts now pointed in aggravation.

The man’s gulp masked under the continuous moans, he averted his gaze off the woman’s spread legs to explain, “a fight broke out in our Seoul location.”

San’s rhythm faltered, an unnoticeable hitch, but enough to stir up images of a familiar face, sly grin and confident walk followed by the sweet scent of vanilla and cheap tobacco. A subtle wink as you replaced the drinks his men had ordered for him with ones that would spare him the added flush, ears and chest tinted a dusty pink while he fought off the heaviness weighing down his eyelids. Sultry voice and swaying hips, the memory of fleeting touches and fluttering eyelashes sent urgent waves of heat scorching through San’s body, unwanted, vivid images of your haunting form flashing in his mind before he could stop them. But he pushed them away, prominent vein trailing down his forehead as he fought off the unrelieved headache, slapping a palm over smudged, red-tinted lips to muffle the agitating sound.

“Is that all, Mingi-ya?” he moved his gaze to the man at his side without twisting his head, watching as he straightened up at the sudden eye-contact.

“We’ve got casualties, Sir,” Mingi added, drawing a frustrated sigh out of San.

Pistoning his hips once, twice more, he pulled out, swiping his saliva-coated palm over the woman’s trembling thigh before finding his footing over the carpeted floor. He tossed the condom into some random corner, tucking himself back into his pants before snatching the luxury coat dangling from Mingi’s hand, the taller man’s eyes flitting to the side to avoid ogling at all the exposed skin. Just as they were about to take their leave, manicured fingers grasped San’s sleeve, arms drawn closer to her body to cram her breasts together in an act of seduction, bedroom eyes peering up at the tattooed man.

“Are you just going to leave me here like this?”

San didn’t hide his grimace, “it’s late, go home,” he retrieved his coat, tugging his arm away rougher than intended to make his way to the room’s exit. He paused at the doorway, turning his head slightly to address the dejected woman abandoned on the lush, silk bedsheets, “and call your husband back, he must be worried sick.”

He didn’t wait for a response, walking into the hallway to meet with two more guards, Mingi following closely behind. “Jongho, you’re coming with me,” he addressed the broader of the two, then turned to the other, “and you,” he angled his chin towards the door left ajar, “get rid of her.”

--

Walking past the swung-open door resting against the frame with broken hinges, glass shards cracking underneath heavyset boots, San took in the scattered bodies splayed out over the wooden floor. He grimaced, thousands of dollars’ worth of imported liquor pooling under shattered bottles, blending into a concoction reeking of alcohol poisoning. Bullets lodged into the polished bar reflected the orange hue in which the room basked in, stools broken and thrown into the walls and windows, splintered pieces of wood lying amongst the lifeless figures scattered over the floorboards.

“What a mess,” Mingi muttered, taking in the scene with repugnance unhidden in his expression.

“Looks exactly like something the both of you would do,” San’s retort was instant, “wasn’t it just last week, Jongho?”

His tone was void of any judgement, simply recalling his men’s afternoon endeavors, and yet, Jongho’s ears flashed red as he stuttered through a flustered response, reaffirming San’s memory of the incident. His eyes shot a glare up at the taller man as soon as San looked away, “just keep your mouth shut, Mingi-ya,” he elbowed his side, unappreciative of Mingi’s attempts at earning him another lecture about the improper use of his gun.

While the two bickered wordlessly, pinching and shoving the other’s side, San walked further into the bar, looking around for another sign of life while gnawing at his bottom lip, evidence of his night-long rendezvous trickling down his temples in salty beads of sweat.

“Where’s our staff?” his voice cut through the silence, as well as the guards’ banter, the two straightening up to address his inquiry.

“Changbin called it in, ‘said most were okay but a few got caught in the crossfire,” Mingi spoke, tone steady and hooded eyes focused on San, “they’ve all left already, I believe.”

“You believe?” Narrowing his eyes at the two men, he snarled before huffing in umbrage. “I don’t pay you to fucking believe.” It wasn’t Mingi’s doing, he knew, but he’d rather berate the two men before him than admit to the anxiety crawling up his chest, blocking his airway with a lump large enough to restrict his breathing. “Did he say anything about—” he attempted to maintain the resonance in which he spoke in, clearing his throat before proceeding, “what about—”

“—Looking for me?”

A sharp turn to his side was all it took to ease the tension stiffening his shoulders, a deep breath escaping his lungs when his eyes settled on you: hand on your hip while leaning you weight onto one leg, the corners of your glossy lips upturned into a smile that sent his heart racing.

“Y/n,” he sighed, rotating his body to face yours, arms limp at his sides while his features softened at the mere sight of you before him. Choi San with his guard down was a luxury not many could revel in.

“What’s with your face? Don’t tell me you were worried about me?” you teased, swaying your hips as you took a few steps towards his broad form, only a few inches separating your bodies where you were stood now.

Close enough to run a hand over the hair covering the side of your head, San’s lips curled into a playful smirk, “oh baby, I bet you’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

You hummed pleasantly at the gentle fingers gliding over your scalp, teeth digging into your bottom lip before releasing to purr back a response, “very much so.”

The aroma of cheap cigarettes followed you, laced with hints of vanilla and caramel, the specs of ash dusting the sunken collar of your top exposing the smoke break you’d taken while chaos unfolded during your late shift.

The bullets lodged into wood glimmered in his peripheral, and his amusement dwindled as he pushed through the intoxicating haze your proximity cast upon his senses. Eyebrows furrowed, his gaze traveled over your body while firm hands ran over your sides and waist, peering over your shoulder and twisting you in front of him while he questioned, “fuck, are you hurt?”

To his surprise, you exhaled a breathy laugh, mischief glinting in your irises, “hurt?” The coyness in your tone didn’t go unnoticed, but the arm reaching behind you did, and before he could react, you had San at your mercy with the nose of your pistol dug into the skin underneath his chin. Leaning further into his space, your lips stretched further at the raised hand stopping the two men at the door from reaching for their own weapons. You tilted your head while addressing him, faux innocence painting your features, “who do you think finally killed that bastard while the men you hired were too busy shitting their pants?”

His eyes followed yours to his right, the bastard in question sprawled out near the entrance with a bullet rooted between his eyebrows. Even with the pistol firmly boring into his skin, the corners of San’s lips quirked upwards, redirecting his focus to take you in with dazed, unreadable eyes. “Oh, darling,” rough, broken knuckles grazed your jaw, his lips widening as you unconsciously leaned into the touch, “just when I thought I couldn’t want you more.”

Eyebrows shooting up — the first hint of surprise flashing over your features — a blend of amusement and curiosity seeped into your expression, “oh?”

He walked you backwards, guiding you with the pistol pressing an indent into his flesh and a hand spreading warmth over your lower back, stopping his pointed steps once the wooden edge of the bar replaced the heated touch. He towered over you, leaning you back slightly over the glossy surface with lidded eyes studying your unchanging expression, the tip of his pointer tracing a languid line down the side of your face. Despite the gruesome scene surrounding you, and the firmness in which you held onto the pistol’s handle, your features were relaxed, easy smile gracing your lips and head tilted slightly in a discrete attempt to chase the gentle gesture. Choi San was not gentle, but one thing he did was make exceptions, unconcealable tenderness breaking through a rigid exterior to bleed into his calloused touch, to glimmer within narrowed eyes, and shape the honeyed words rolling off his otherwise sharp tongue.

Choi San didn’t make exceptions, scratch that. He made an exception.

To say he had been intrigued by you would be an understatement, years passing with him making time to drop by when he rarely ever needed to, making excuses to conceal his interest in a particular bartender who knew about his low-tolerance — classified information only a select few knew of —sneaking non-alcoholic beverages his way when he got pressured into drinking after a successful deal had been made in her presence. And despite the confidence oozing off you, shoulders straight and chin lifted as you batted your eyelashes flirtatiously at various customers, San noted the tremors shaking your fingers, the wary eyes darting in each direction while the men you worked with grazed against you while passing by, and those slurring their words drunkenly calling out to you from their booths. He noticed the tension in your shoulders even as the years went by, and regulars became familiar, their orders sliding across the bar seconds after they’d found an empty seat, before a greeting could slip out their smiling lips, pleased to be served by you once again. You knew the respect this façade had brought upon you, and yet your eyes remained sharp, solid walls built up behind the sultry smiles you handed these desperate men on a gold platter. And in the restless fight to break them down, San found himself too deep into a pit he could no longer pick himself up from. A pit brimming with burning want, a yearning so fervid, it ate at him from the inside out the more he pushed it away, cheap whores and endless mistresses futile in their attempts to simmer it down.

But now, the woman he so desperately wanted to break down between rough palms was trapped between his firm chest and the bar, still holding him at gunpoint while her free arm wrapped around his shoulder. It felt like hours, the steady ticking of the vintage clock hung on the bullet-riddled wall fading the deeper San peered into your eyes, looking up at him through curled eyelashes as the longer hand continued its clicking. Playfulness glimmered in your irises the longer San dragged his silence, as though he had no intention of building on his prior statement.

“What’s this about the great Choi San wanting me?”

Your tone indicated a challenge, a ‘how will he avert the situation to his advantage this time?’ while you kept your eyes on him, fingers tangling into the short hair at his nape to watch his eyelids droop even further at the pleasant stimulation. And perhaps what he needed was a pistol threatening to blow through his brain, realizing — after a chase lasting too many years — that he was tired of the endless back and forth, tired of the eager hands brushing over your body while he sipped on some fizzy beverage you’d handed him, watching as you basked under others’ attention, his own bullheadedness and pride pushing him further away from you when all he wanted to do was break every audacious finger that dared touch your skin in his presence.

Leaning closer, until his hot breath mingled with yours in the negligible gap he’d left between your faces, his hand curved over your jaw, thumb caressing the skin of your cheek, “baby, I’d give you the whole world if you’d just ask.”

The sudden confession surprised you, eyebrows flying up and jaw slackening under his touch, but you swiftly picked yourself up, a pleased smile stretching your lips as you bumped noses with him, “Mm, I’ll hold you up to that, Mr. Choi.”

Unlike the gradually deepening kisses shared in romance novels, teeth clanged and tongues pushed against one another, San’s hand travelling down your side to grab at your thigh until your feet lifted off the wooden floorboards. He set you down on the bar, fingers digging into the washed-out denim gathered at your hips while his teeth nipped at your bottom lip. Placing the pistol somewhere to your side, your hands wandered down San’s sculpted body and over the expanse of honey skin peeking through his open coat, fingertips grazing his nipples to elicit a sudden groan from the man’s lips, parting against your own. You made a mental note of his response, the corner of your mouth lifting as you repeated the action, the hungry clash of lips dwindling into interval pecks as you toyed with San’s chest, flushed and heated under your touch.

“About time you started thinking with your cock,” wrapping your legs around his frame, you dragged his pelvis closer to feel him against your core, hard and heavy within the confines of his pants.

He rolled his hips, eyes dazed as he took you in through the negligible gap separating you, breathing the same air as the friction and lust glazed over his lidded eyes. “Who said this was my cock speaking?”

Fingers pausing over his chest, you took in the implication behind his words, his heartbeat frenzied and erratic against your palm as though it was communicating in its own language, desperate to be heard amongst the chaos that was your nonexistent relationship with Choi San — a game of cat and mouse, with the roles reversing each time you’d crossed paths. Playful banter and meaningless flirting remaining at surface level with no endpoint in sight, both players stuck in a turmoil of pridefulness and cowardice, none willing to relent.

If you’d known a cheap, rusted pistol would push San onto his knees before you, you would’ve blown a bullet through someone’s head three years ago. It wasn’t the game you wanted to win for the sake of your treasured ego, but the thrashing muscle beneath your palm, one many would assume didn’t beat, cold-heartedness and dispassionate eyes only a few could see through. And perhaps that’s what drew him to you, your willingness to look past the blood on his hands and the barbarism in which he carried out his business, your eyes sparkling in interest rather than fear as you sneaked an unknown drink into his hand, treating him like a customer you wanted to woo into becoming a regular, and not as Choi San.

The silence stretched, until San’s mutter broke through the stillness, “do you fear me?”

You blinked up at him, pondering over his question for barely a second before whispering back, “no.”

Huffing out a small laugh, he cradled your jaw in one of his palms while his thumb caressed the skin of your cheek, “that’s reckless.” Perhaps his response should have scared you, or at least sent an icy chill down your spine, but your heart only ached for the man before you as you took in his feeble, half-hearted attempt at pushing you away. Ironic, considering he’d unconsciously leaned into you while he spoke, chest brushing against yours with every breath he inhaled. “You know I can’t be trusted.”

“Not when you look at me the way you do.”

A dangerous glint sparked in the dark of his irises, burning as he silently went over your words in his mind, the few seconds’ wait stirring up butterflies in your gut as you resisted cowering under his fierce gaze. And before you could question his speechlessness, or attempt a teasing remark to lessen the rigid tension beginning to choke you, San’s face was lurching forwards to capture your lips in another kiss. Hungrier, greedier, as though he’d been starved of you — and he’d argue he was — and was finally offered a taste, teeth clashing with his nose pressed against the side of yours as he sucked out the last of the oxygen in your lungs.

Emotion flooded into San’s chest, and he allowed it to seep through into his actions, hands restless and wandering over your frame while his tongue busied itself with exploring your mouth after you’d given him access. Short, breathy moans left your lips when his fingers tucked into the denim waistband of your jeans, eliciting a desperate groan from his as he struggled to undo the button separating him from your heat. The dizzying haze San’s soft lips on yours cast upon your mind broke, his eyes closed as he chased your retreating touch when the sudden awareness of your surroundings jerked you away from him. Despite your sudden rigidness, he didn’t allow you to move too far, tucking his face into the crook of your neck to inhale the sweet scent of your perfume masking the sharpness of the three cigarettes you’d smoked earlier.

His mouth found your pulse, tongue peeking out to drag kitten licks over the delicate skin in between the gentle pecks pressed onto the column of your throat. His breath warmed the stripes of saliva he’d left behind, “what’s wrong?”

San’s mouth stretched against your skin when your button finally popped open between his fingers, his thumb and index dragging the zipper down until black lace peeked through the opening. You flinched slightly, eyes wandering to the side while a bashful flush rode up your chest.

“San we—” you cleared your throat, “what about…?”

The thumb toying with the dainty lace paused when you’d placed your hand over his, directing his gaze over his shoulder with a faint nod of your head, eyes fixed onto your denim-clad lap. The two guards stood awkwardly by the entrance — Jongho appeared to be unfazed, yet the red tinting the tips of his ears betrayed his nonchalant attitude, intermittent coughs to relieve the dryness of his throat not going unnoticed under San’s watchful gaze. Mingi, on the other hand, fidgeted uncomfortably in hopes of relieving the suffocating tightness in his ironed dress pants, shifting his weight from one leg onto the other in a futile attempt to be discrete, the heavy arousal pressing against his zipper too tricky to conceal.

Moving his attention back to you, San lifted your gaze back to his softened eyes with a finger under your chin, “don’t worry, my darling, they wouldn’t dare look at what’s mine,” the words rolled off his tongue laced with dizzying sweetness. Stealing a glance over his shoulder, you noted the averted gazes of the two men, as well as the obvious arousal bulging in the blonde’s pants. San’s finger guided your focus back onto him, “uh-uh, eyes on me.”

With a gentle grip around your wrist, he guided your hand down the toned muscle of his abdomen and over the luxury, leather belt, his hand cupping the back of yours to press it into the twitching lust tenting his pants. Your eyelashes fluttered at the rush of arousal drenching your panties, wrapping your fingers around the clothed girth to elicit a shaky exhale from the parted, plush lips mere centimeters away from yours, leaning forward to close the gap between them. No longer minding the two spectators, your low moan vibrated over San’s mouth, tongue running over his front teeth while you palmed over his hardness, his chest shuddering against yours at the friction. With an arm around your waist, San lifted your hips just enough to tug the bothersome denim off you, leaving you to kick it off while he revelled in the gentle friction you provided him.

He rolled his hips into your touch, one hand still covering yours at his crotch while the other hurriedly pulled your shirt up to your chest, followed by your bra to watch your tits spill out under the band. “Fuck, you’re such a good girl for me, aren’t you?”

You hummed, watching as he’d begun leaning down towards your exposed chest before your hand shot up from his pants to grab his jaw, watching as he confusedly looked up at you, cheeks smushed between your fingers and eyes glazed over with want.

“Mm, I bet you’d like that,” tilting your head to the side, a playful smile curving your lips as you watched him process the mocking tone he’d previously used on you — your refusal to comply bewildered him, but most of all, it sent shocks of burning arousal straight to his core.

The arm around your waist dragged you closer to the edge of the bar, his other hand raking through the hair at the side of your head, desperation leaking into his tone as he sucked in a sharp breath, “god, you’re fucking perfect.”

His pouted lips found yours in a sloppy, open-mouthed kiss, bodies colliding as his urgency and yearning revealed themselves in hungry nips and bites. You carded your fingers through the dark strands, wrapping your legs around his hips once he’d slotted himself between your thighs, heavy bulge pressed and rutting against your overwhelming heat.

Your own impatience clawed at your cracking composure, a man you’d watched from afar, unobtainable to all but those he’d handpicked himself, only to toss away the morning after. And for as long as you’d remembered, you’d hoped he’d never pick you, afraid of the lingering feelings he’d leave behind as his broad frame walked out the room, his scent permeating the sheets still covering your sweaty figure, fingers entangled into the cotton in a hasty attempt at preserving the memory of  a man you’d wanted for years, but who only wanted you for a night.

Drawing back to take him in, the dystopian scenario your mind had drew up faded into dust as said man chased your lips, feline eyes shut, eyebrows drawn in as he registered the unreturning loss of your touch. While Choi San’s warmth may very well still be torn away from you, the morning sun shining over the world while leaving you alone in the chilling shade, you wondered if the memory of the burning body heat radiating off his soft skin would accompany you during those frosty, weary days. Barely weighing your options, you pressed yourself to the man before you, dragging him impossibly closer with the legs around his waist.

If the dawn of a new day were to illuminate the shards of your shattered heart, at least the moon would have borne witness to your undoing within Choi San’s fervid embrace.

“How about you be good and fuck me already?”

Digging his teeth into his bottom lip, San allowed you to guide his hands past the lacey waistband until your sweet arousal coated his fingertips, running them through your folds to feel you throbbing against him. His response was delayed, breathy as he struggled to focus with his hand in your panties, “be patient.”

Unlike any other statement that had left his plush lips, San’s tone was lacking, the noted detail stretching the corners of your mouth. “I can feel you shaking, Sir.”

The accusation earned you a firm glare, his gaze shifting from the indents of his knuckles against the lace to the cockiness painting your features. Was it nerves, or the anticipation? You wondered if Choi San ever felt any of those emotion, let alone allowed them to translate into his body language. And yet the unsubtle trembling continued, even as the deep baritone sounded in the negligible space separating you.

“Call me by my name.”

It seemed as though your choice of nickname was more alerting to him than the implication associated with his jitters. You wondered if this was his way of showing vulnerability, and the thought of another noticing his quivering irked you, “don’t wanna.”

To your surprise, San’s eyes softened, taking your jaw into his free hand and running his thumb beneath your bottom lip, “please, baby.” He circled his middle finger around your fluttering hole before breaching it, sinking all the way inside while his eyes studied your features. Letting out a breath at the stretch, your lips parted further when San’s thumb ran along the cracking skin, tongue peeking out to run over his nailbed. The sternness in his voice vanished and subtle whines mixed into his tone, “please, ‘wanna hear you saying my name.”

He slid another finger alongside the first, curving and running them over your walls until he grazed the spongy surface he’d been seeking, noting the flutter of your eyelashes, thighs tensing around his waist before spreading to allow him further access.

“C’mon,” he urged, fingertips digging into your g-spot as he shallowly thrusted them into your cunt, studying your face for encouragement as your eyebrows drew in and soft exhales quickened in pace. His thumb pressed into your bottom lip, and he leaned forward to leave an upwards trail of wet kisses over the slope of your jaw, mumbling against the flushed skin, “say my name, baby, let me hear it.”

You were putty in San’s arms, pleasure building in your gut as he fucked his fingers into your pussy, his hand trapped behind the lace and grinding his palm into your clit, the single syllable rolling off your tongue before you could help it, an airy repetition of his name, “San, San, San—” so sweet, melodic, bucking his hips into nothing at the sound, tucking his head into the crook of your neck and groaning into your skin, deep and gravelly, before sinking his teeth into the flesh.

A high-pitched whimper followed the echoes of his name, your walls clamping up around him as a sudden orgasm rushed through you, thighs shaking and back arching, head thrown backwards as he guided you back down with slow glides against your walls and tender kisses over the bitemark he’d left as a keepsake. Just as the tension in your muscles dwindled, San’s hand retreated out of your panties, hurriedly tugging the fabric down your legs and ignoring the audible tearing at the frantic action. He interrupted the complaint at the tip of your tongue with a look, berserk and brimming with searing lust,

“I need to fuck you right now,” his breathing was heavy, rapid, fingers digging into the flesh of your hip while his free hand rid him of his belt, tossing the leather to the side before undoing his pants and leaving them to fall to his ankles. “Can I, baby? I’ll make you feel so good.”

“Yeah,” you breathed out in a whine, wrapping your fingers around his biceps after he’d shrugged off his coat, revealing the wide expanse of soft, tan skin and bulging muscle, “want that, want you.”

San’s boxers gathered around his mid-thighs before his impatience became too much to handle, wrapping his arms around you to drag your hips closer before the burning heat of your core met his leaking cock. You breathed the same air, panting into the gap separating you as San ran his length through the slick coating your folds, once, twice, before his eagerness could no longer be held down. A visible shudder shook his toned figure as he breached your clenching hole, his cock stretching you open while you held onto his shoulders for stability, head angled downwards to watch your cunt swallow his cock whole.

“Fuck—darling, you gotta relax for me,” he bumped his forehead with yours, pressing tender kisses to your lips while you adjusted to his girth, unclenching your muscles and allowing the fullness to take over your senses. “Good girl,” he squeezed the back of your neck soothingly, planting a few pecks onto your cheekbone and temple.

He moved in shallow thrusts, craving the friction but refusing to part from the magnetic warmth of your cunt, slick squelching every time he pushed in and soft grunts leaving his lips as he cast his gaze onto your contorting face. He could tell you were still trying to hold your ground, but the pleasure soaring through your body at the languid grazes of his cockhead over your clenching walls dismantled the front you’d built up. And Choi San proved relentless in his pursuit, wanting nothing but to have you falling apart in his arms.

He snapped his hips without warning, a choked moan echoing in the back of your throat, “You’re mine, aren’t you?” he was so close, so deep, building up to a rhythm that rendered you momentarily speechless. “My own pretty girl to ruin.”

You made no effort in concealing your voice, intermittent ah’s making San’s insides flutter as he pounded into you, arms holding you firmly against his body as he seeked the tight squeeze of your cunt.

“You fucking wish,” lidded eyes not moving off him, you rolled your hips in sync with his, meeting his thrusts with just as much urgency, the heavy presence of his cock continuously fucking into you satisfying a years-long hunger you’d endured in silence.

“You can pretend all you want, but I can see the fucking mess you’re making of yourself,” the hand on your nape moved to the back of your head, pushing it down to vaunt his slick-coated cock peeking out of your pussy before stuffing it back inside, toned pelvis and snail trail glistening with your arousal as he grinded against your clit every time he sheathed himself within you. Leaning forward once again, San’s lips pressed against your cheekbone, moving over the skin as he rephrased his previous question into a sure statement, “you’re mine.”

And this time, you didn’t protest, didn’t tease, but simply nodded your head and breathed out a defeated, “yeah, ‘m all yours.”

San’s cock twitched, his hand dropping to your thigh to dig his fingers into the flesh, the other still wrapped possessively around you while he pistoned his hips into your sopping cunt, sweat beading over his temples while your foreheads remained flush, hot air circulating between your mouths as you pressed them against each other in breathless kisses, swallowing each other’s moans as ecstasy soared through your bodies.

“San—nngh fuck—" the more your back arched you away from him, the closer San drew you in, as though he couldn’t function without every patch of your skin glued to his own; until your nipples pressed together and his scent was all-consuming.

San prided himself in his stamina, but with your walls wrapped around him, his cock pulsed violently and all he could think about was fucking you full. “Gonna give you all I have,” he grunted, rhythm faltering and growing sloppy as the build of his orgasm blinded him, “you’ll take it all, won’t you?”

It seemed as though all you could do was nod, the sound of your synced breaths and skin-on-skin reverberating in the air surrounding your intertwined frame. All you could think about was San, so full of San, his scent, his warmth, his secure hold. San, San, San. The man noticed the sudden trance consuming you, moving his head back to hold your face in his palm, waiting until your eyes focused back on him to speak again,

“There you are,” it was barely a whisper, but you released a deep breath you’d unintentionally been holding, muscles relaxing despite the hurried pace of his hips pounding into you, “’m gonna fill you up, yeah?” Though you were on the brink of delirium, wanting nothing more but San’s thick cum deep within you, you remained quiet, watching as desperation seeped into his expression. “Please, baby—fuck—please let me, let me make a mess of you.”

You ran your fingers through his damp locks, scratching at his scalp to watch the feline eyes droop further. “Begging looks good on you,” you giggled, noting his slowed pace as he staved off his orgasm, a creamy ring of white forming around his cock.

An exasperated whine escaped his throat, his hips betraying him as they chased a pleasure he’d been delaying, “you’ll look so pretty full of my cum, you’ll take it so well.”

The furrow of his eyebrows, pretty pink tinting his skin and fingers trembling where he replaced them at your nape, you couldn’t find it in you to refuse him anymore, the familiar tingle of your impending orgasm breaching your brittle mask of nonchalance.

“Give it to me, Sannie, I’ll take it all.”

That was all San needed, the nickname blurring his vision as he stuffed his length into your cunt, pelvis pressed against your clit as he painted your walls with sticky ribbons of pearly white, his cock throbbing while he fed his load into your womb. You watched his eyes flutter shut and mouth form a perfect ‘o’ as he used your warm hole to milk himself of every last drop, graced with the opportunity to watch him unravel for only a few moments before he dragged you into his body, tucking your head into his neck while he grinded his twitching cock into your cum-soaked pussy. It was so much, so warm as he flooded your insides with his seed, a thin stream dribbling out of your stretched entrance while he shot a few more pathetic spurts.

You tangled your fingers into the short locks at his nape, reveling in the untamed, successive moans San let out into your ear, the mix of his deep baritone and high-pitched whimpers leading your pussy to clench around him. And despite the building overstimulation, he started up a steady rhythm once again, pulling out before slamming back inside. You felt the thick cum flooding out of you, only to be fucked back into your needy cunt. An orgasm you’d thought had dwindled away built right back up as San’s cockhead pounded relentlessly into your g-spot, thighs clamping around his hips as they guided you towards the edge.

You clung to his shoulders, hesitantly pushing your head back when he’d gripped the hair at your nape, shaky breath blowing against your skin as he watched you melt in his arms, eyes squeezed shut, “gonna come for me?”

“mhmm,” your cunt pulsed sporadically as he pumped it full of his sensitive cock, and he leaned down to pepper kisses over your eyelids.

“Don’t close your eyes, baby. Look at me,” he muttered over the delicate skin, his smile dripping with sweetness once you’d done as he asked, faltering slightly when your walls finally clamped up around him, “that’s it—fuck—that’s a good girl.”

Vivid flashes of colour painted your vision, muscles spasming in San’s hold as you finally tumbled over the edge. He coaxed you through it with languid glides over your trembling walls, honeyed voice mumbling praise into your ear while ecstasy rocketed through your body, going completely silent through the first wave before a broken moan ripped through your chest. Your cunt squelched with the added slick, a mixture of your release and San’s simultaneously being fucked into and out of the used hole, and San wanted nothing but to spread you open and swallow your combined taste until you squirmed and thrashed under him, pulling at his hair and squeezing his head between your thighs. But exhaustion was apparent in your eyes, body going limp in his arms as you finally came down, spasming and whimpering while weakly pushing at his bicep.

San didn’t pull out, but simply slid his whole length back inside you and stilled, waiting until your features relaxed before leaning in for a kiss — slow, deep, breaking apart to plant a succession of feathery pecks over your pouted lips.

As he tucked you closer once again, nuzzling your nose into his pulse point, you wondered if this was how Choi San treated all his women, lulling them into a false sense of security before ripping their heart out of their chest, leaving them with the bitter memory of what could have been and the retreating shadow of his broad frame. But one peek over his shoulder, you took in the wordless conversation shared between the two guards, bewilderment and questioning glinting in their widened eyes, frantic hands flailing at their sides in an attempt to dissect the situation. The peculiar scene eased your concerns, and the steady heartbeat of the man you’d longed to hold you for so long laced the air around you with a comforting aroma.

Twisting his head, San studied your dazed expression for a few moments before you’d met his eyes, earning you an easy smile and dimpled cheeks that sent your heartrate on a frenzy, and with your chests flush, San’s lips only smiled further at the realization. The man had warned you about the recklessness of trusting him, and while you knew it to be as such, you were content to live in this warm aura of comfort he’d provided you so long as you could bare witness to this side of vulnerability unknown to many. And even if this moment were to be fleeting, leaving you to grieve the short-live tenderness instead of revel within it, San’s overwhelming warmth and the fervency of his embrace would eternally linger, casting a comforting glow on any desolate, bitter days to come.

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[hongjoongsart]

Reassuring Words and Mellow Touches | Choi San

💐 IMPORTANT: Re-upload from my deleted account (hongjoongspoetry).

💐 Summary: Being a mother wasn’t an item on your bucket list, never has and probably never will be. You were more than content with living a childless life and it wasn't an occurring issue before, until you brought your boyfriend on a trip to your parents’ where his love for kids unveiled right in your face. You were adamant on your choice, but scared what the future held for you and your boyfriend.

💐 Pairing(s): idol!San x f!reader

💐 Genres/Tropes: tooth rotting fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, established relationship, a lil suggestive

💐 Warnings/Tags: no use of (Y/N), mentions of pregnancies, arguments, explicit language, expectations that come with being a woman, reader doesn't want babies, pushy family, emotional invalidation, listed pregnancy side effects, san with kids

💐 Wordcount: 12.2K

💐 Author's note: Here's a lil treat inspired by my fear of pregnancies. I am not a mother and I'm not trying to offend anyone who is. I haven't experienced motherhood so I wouldn't understand the complicit feelings that come with it, this is more my observation of it I guess.

Edited 22 January, 2024!

AO3 Playlist Click on me!

This is all fiction and not meant to represent San in any way or form.

Babies weren’t foreign to you even at the age of five.

You knew what they were; you had been one, your parents and siblings too, heck every living thing had been a baby at one point in their life. From the carrots growing in your grandma’s garden to the old ducks swimming in the pond down the street. 

Babies were cute. A bit annoying, but nonetheless cute. Probably the reason why your parents decided to have so many children or was it the nostalgia of holding an infant when their kids grew up to be living ticking time bombs. 

It wasn’t anything weird or something you paid attention to. It was quite simple too; people had children because they fell in love or to keep the relationship floating.

Children were simple beings. What they hear they shall question. Seeing your teacher highly pregnant, rubbing her stomach and wearing a gleeful expression, talking about birth and pregnancies and everything else coming with that had you taking in the information like a sponge absorbing water. 

“Mom, did you give birth to me?” 

“Of course, honey, I am your mom aren’t I?” You remember her gently wiping your cheek, a warm smile adorning her face.

You hummed in agreement, throwing a cut piece of steak in your mouth somewhat satisfied with her answer. Your eyes filtered between Hana and Jun, watching them push at each other’s shoulders clearly bickering over something so pointless your dad couldn’t bother stopping them. Not that it was possible, they were brought into this world together and separating them would only bring more chaos.

“Did you give birth to Hana-unnie and Jun-oppa too?”

“Yah! What do you think, airhead?!” Jun snarkily replied and got a light whack of the head by your sister.

“Sweetie, don’t hit your brother.” 

Hana rolled her eyes. “Even if he deserves it?” 

“Even if he deserves it,” your father concluded and urged them to eat. 

Another piece of meat was flung in your mouth as you stared at the family portrait behind the twins, focusing on your other siblings who moved out a long time ago and already started their own families. Your mother saw the bemused tingle covering your features.

“Go on and eat your food.”

A small pout adorned your lips, “How do you give birth?”

Your parents were more than prepared for the wonders of your mind, any question fired at them had already been answered years ago with your older siblings. That’s what they thought at least and it explained why the dinner table went pin silent as the question was flung out in the open.

The seasons changed like your father changed channels. Spring fluttered into summer quicker than expected. Budded flowers opened, the various colored roses adorning your grandma’s fence beautifully. The breeze welcomed you with open arms, proudly announcing the start of summer break. The transition between summer and autumn was slow. The rich green leaves took their time changing shades – red, orange and eventually an ugly brown that reminded you of wet mornings and cold coffees – before the howling wind swirled them away, stripping the trees of its beauty. 

As the years passed your My Little Pony boots were replaced with wedge heels and your favorite color wasn’t pink, but black – even though Jun argued black wasn’t a color – and before you knew it Hana moved out with her boyfriend, now husband, of six years. A small but evident baby bump peeking behind her knitted sweater.

You were seventeen at that time, the twins twenty-two and your remaining siblings already thirty-something. 

Her baby girl wasn’t the first grandchild of your family tree and she certainly wasn’t going to be the last either, because four years later she welcomed another child into the world just a couple of months before your brother’s wife. That made a grand total of seven grandkids, three girls and four boys.

You were very grateful to your mom for giving birth to you last and grateful for the free birth control your siblings provided you with. Despite their children having moments of incarnating the devil, they weren’t the issue to your disdain of want for a baby. 

Some said it was the lack of a boyfriend and others pointed out you being too focused on your academic studies – that your decision to start university was too hasty – depriving you of your youth, as if a newborn wouldn’t.

You saw what motherhood did to your sisters and in-laws, and it wasn’t anything you’d like for yourself. Not even after meeting your boyfriend, who you were madly in love with and he was completely head over heels for you, did your perception change. 

Babies were cute to look at, but growing one inside of you? No thanks. 

You glanced at San through the bathroom mirror, white shaving cream around his face.

“Don’t you have filming with the Return of Superman today?” 

“Yep, have to make sure the beard doesn’t scratch the kids.”

You laughed again, “Beard? I haven’t seen you with a stub in how many months now, let alone a beard.”

Your eyes met in the reflection, one of his brows raised and lips puckered as if contemplating something. He then let go of the razor and gently took hold of your waist and neck, pressing his sticky cheek against yours. You yelled out and tried to push him away, but he barely moved.

“What did you say about my beard?”

“You have a beautiful beard! So pretty and well-kept!”

San smiled brightly, dimples popping and eyes creasing as he planted a wet kiss on your forehead. 

“Thank you baby!”

The white cream was washed off with extreme care, as he was afraid of wetting your clothes and hair. 

“There you go.” He threw on a gray hoodie, black hair slightly disheveled but nothing that couldn’t be fixed with you running your hand through it. 

“I’d say thanks, but you’re at fault.”

He rested his hands on your hips, thumbs sneaking underneath the white fabric of your blouse to caress the soft skin beneath. “You’re lucky I love you.” 

Your twentieth lap around the world was filled with many experiences and emotions. You finally moved out of the countryside to the big city and found an apartment in the middle of Seoul. As much as you loved the feeling of freedom and independence you also despised it. Not having anyone waiting on you by the door, no home cooked meals or clean clothes neatly made on your bed reminded you of what you left behind. 

Although it was hard to adapt at first you managed and with the help of a friend you quickly adjusted to the busy city life. As someone wise once said; after rain came sunshine, and your sunshine was San. The boy your friend introduced you to when you still had little to no knowledge of Korean pop groups besides the older generations and singing ring-ding-dong no repeat.

At the time he was just San, a funny and caring friend you could be yourself with, occasionally going out to secluded shops for coffee and pastries. You never questioned the scenery and request of privacy, always giving people the benefit of the doubt, until a girl stopped you on your way to a morning class with the demand you tell her who you were and what connection you had to her Sannie. 

With a trembling voice you answered her truthfully, debunking any conclusions she already made up in her mind.

You didn’t go to school that day or home for that matter either, scared to be followed and questioned again by a potential lover or side-piece so you did the next best thing; stopped by a 7-eleven and spent your morning there before taking the first train to your sister’s unannounced, spilling everything like an overflowing bucket.

As the mature woman she was, she spurred you on to ask San. Saying you deserved answers to your questions and to potentially clear up any misunderstandings – if there were any of that is. 

The moment you told him about the girl, he came forward with who he was, something he admitted he should’ve done immediately, but didn’t for two reasons: a) you allowed him to be himself with no walls and b) he was worried the truth would scare you away. Heck, you were already chased just by being near him and you didn’t even know anything. To your luck, the girl wasn’t his girlfriend or a crazy ex, but a fan and San was an idol.

A few weeks after his confession your friendship progressed and blossomed into a beautiful relationship. You could proudly call him yours in the privacy of your apartment and he could wrap his arm around you – face masks and caps on of course – scaring the prying eyes of other men. He filled your solitude with the comfort and love you missed so dearly.

“Honey, have you seen my gray hoodie? I can’t find it in your wardrobe.” San stood before your closet, torso exposed and an expensive towel you can’t remember the brand of wrapped around his hips.

You were in the kitchen brewing coffee for the both of you. A plain yet pretty dress stuck tightly to your form, “Mmm, I think it’s in the basket with all the other clean clothes.”

The taps of his bare feet filled your apartment accompanied by a gasp seconds later.

“Did you find it?”

Large arms slinked around your waist and pulled you into San’s chest, he nuzzled his nose against the bare spot on your neck before peppering it with tender pecks, “Thank you, honey.”

“Always, baby. Here’s your coffee.”

You gingerly handed him the cup, but San had other plans. Ever-so-gently he titled your head sideways as his lips met yours. It was soft and made your stomach swoop as if going down a steep roller coaster. 

San had that effect on you no matter what he did. 

“You have to…get dressed or…we’ll be late,” you said between kisses. 

His chest vibrated against your back as he hummed in delight, “This is worth getting in trouble for.”

“I’m sure it is, but I don’t think Wooyoung will appreciate that.”

“I don’t care.” 

A laugh bubbled out as you rewarded him with one last kiss to the cheek. Eventually you both parted ways. San went first, wearing an obligatory cap and mask while meeting up with his manager further down the street and you followed shortly after, taking the commute to your workplace. 

“So,” you started after placing the pot on the table between your plates, immediately filling San’s, “my parents invited us to theirs next week.”

He nodded, “I think I can make it, but I’ll have to double-check with the guys and managers.”

It was the first date night in weeks where both of you were free from work and had enough energy to meet up. You originally invited all the boys, but San was keen on keeping you to himself, claiming he wanted some alone time. If it were up to him he’d see you everyday even for just five minutes, arguing that the short time could give him the motivation to work harder. In return you reminded him the journey from his dorm to your place was a thirty minute long drive without traffic, the energy he’d get would evaporate in seconds.

“It’s okay if you can’t make it, Sannie. I know you guys have a lot to do, especially with the release of your new album.”

“Mmm, don’t worry about that. We’ll see first, but I’m telling you now. I want to go.” He reached for your hand across the small table and you returned the sentiment with a squeeze before beckoning him to eat.

You took notice of his upturned lips and crescent moon eyes. It wasn’t an unusual sight, San was always in a good mood and when he wasn’t he still mustered up a smile warm enough to brighten your day.

“What are you smiling about?” You teased, carrying a grin of your own.

“You should have seen the kids the other day, they were so cute.”

“Oh, it completely slipped my mind to ask. How was it?”

“It was fun and they were so, so cute. All of them really.”

“I can imagine, Sannie.”

“I don’t want to say too much, you still have to wait for the episode, but ohhh! I can’t stop smiling.”

You chuckled and enjoyed seeing your boyfriend suffer a hard case of baby fever. San loved kids, put that man near a kid and anyone in one mile radius would see it. That was how you found out. 

You were babysitting your niece one random Thursday night, your brother claiming ‘you owed him’ for something you did in your childhood days that was long forgotten. San asked if you were free that same night, but you sadly turned him down, briefly explaining the situation and voilá. The date was moved from a five star restaurant to your living room with blankets and ice cream and a toddler with bigger love for Bluey than her aunt.

San’s love for kids wasn’t something he expressed with you, but rather something you saw through gentle touches and light coos, a few stolen pecks here and there.

It wasn’t an issue to you. In all honesty, it was attractive because how many men did you know who actually showed interest in their children? How many dads knew their kids’ birth dates or their favorite ice cream flavor?

And yeah, you felt the same. Your nieces and nephews were cute, especially when they wore matching clothes for Chuseok and Christmas. Don’t even get you started on their birthday costumes.

But it wasn’t enough to make you want one. 

It wasn’t worth the nine month long journey of fatigue, mood swings, nausea, stretch marks and not to mention the painful process of giving birth and what came after; potentially loss of teeth, tearing the perineum, hair loss… the list is truly endless.

Not wanting kids wasn’t a problem until you stumbled into San who carried a love big enough for the whole population of South Korea. 

“I can’t wait till we have kids,” San admitted as you stuffed your mouth with a spoonful of rice.

The clock hanging above the kitchen entrance didn’t freeze but you sure did. The words would make anyone squeal and melt at once, however they washed over you like a big cold wave in the atlantic ocean and sent your food into the wrong pipe. San jumped up from his seat and patted your back while opening a can of coke with his other hand. 

“Drink this.” He pushed the beverage in your hands and waited to make sure you were alright. The coughing didn’t stop but at least you could breathe. “Better?”

You sent him a nod, not trusting your voice to keep its cool. San didn’t question the lack of response to his blunt statement nor why you nearly choked to death. The night ended with you two hastily filling the dish machine and cuddling together on the couch with you laying on top of him. A boring movie played on the big TV while you basked in each other’s embrace. 

Halfway through the movie you cleared your throat, not being able to shake the conversation from earlier, “You want kids?”

“Not right now, but someday,” San said, one hand under his head and the other rubbing your back. He then glanced down at you. “Don’t you?”

You turned so your chin rested on his chest, noses almost touching and his peppermint breath fanning your face.  The simple two letter word was stuck in your throat, and like the coward you were you swallowed them down with guilt. You shot him a quick smile and even manually crinkled your eyes to make it more believable.

Twenty minutes later and San was out like a light, the hectic schedules and plenty of sleepless nights getting to him in the end. Sleep didn’t come as easy to you. Mind too occupied with thinking, thinking and more thinking. Tears blurred your eyes and you didn't know if they were from the stuffy room or the guilt bubbling in your abdomen. 

The incident was pushed under the rug in your living room, neither bringing it up again nor the topic of a future family, mainly because you were both drowning in work and adult responsibilities. The days passed in a flash and when Friday came around San was parked outside the building early in the morning, welcoming you with a preheated seat and a cup of steaming hot coffee. 

“The twins and their kids are the only ones who could come. Mimi-unnie’s little ones caught the flu and Jin couldn’t get away from work.”

Coming from a rather small family and then moving in with seven men he considered brothers was quite the change for young San, so hearing that neither Mimi or Jin, and their respective families, could make it made him deflate.

“That’s unfortunate. We haven’t seen them in a long time.”

“Yeah, but at the same time I can already feel the headache coming from having seven kids running around all day.”

“That’s how Hongjoong must feel all the time.”

The image of seven twenty-something-year olds running around as toddlers and an exhausted Hongjoong not far behind them popped up in your head and brought out a laugh. Then last week’s phone call with your mother interrupted the vision and you got serious again. 

“Did you bring spare clothes? Mom said they were warning of a rainstorm.” 

“Yep. It’s in the trunk with your things.”

Your hands rested on your lap and San, feeling the need to touch you, gently intertwined your fingers with his and placed a kiss to the back of your hand. He occasionally withdrew when changing gears before resuming his hold. The ride was long and by the time you arrived you were exhausted despite not doing anything but passing San snacks every once in a while. 

Squeals of joy and multiple little feet padding against the hardwood floor had your lips curling upwards as you opened the door. You crouched down and were greeted with two kids catapulting in your embrace.

“Hello little chicks,” you said and planted a kiss on the crown of their heads.

“Did you miss us?” Borah asked, her small hands tightening around your neck leaving barely any room for her little brother. 

Before you could reassure her the door opened behind you and in came San, thus stealing the lovely cuddle session right from beneath your nose.

“Uncle San!”

He lifted both children in his arms and beamed at their giggles and kicking legs. You craned your head up, eyes trailing up to San’s closed ones, and your heart swelled with love. He looked like he belonged right there surrounded by tiny humans with toothless smiles and snotty noses.  

A tug at your sleeve had your head whipping forwards, “Kai,” you cooed at the youngest of the batch earning a blurb of happy noises.

The hallway proceeded to be crowded by the rest of the house. Hugs and kisses were exchanged with your family and out of the corner of your eyes you could see San exchanging a firm handshake with your father.

“You’re right in time for dinner!” Your mother gleefully exclaimed and ushered you inside, the little ones slinking around her legs like overly fed kittens mooching for more food.

The first hour was spent catching up and talking about everything you’ve missed out on in each other’s lives. Your father initiated small talk with San, asking him about the drive there and if he had a lot of work even wondering how the rest of Ateez were doing. To your relief your parents treated him as their third son and your siblings weren’t opposed to the idea of another brother.

You sat in between Jun and Jisoo – his wife – giving her all of your attention. Apparently she was in the middle of her second trimester, something you just found out. You sent Jun a quick glare and a whack to the back of his head, and as he was about to fight back he slumped back in his seat all thanks to the stern eyes of his wife.

“Here let me help you, mom.” 

San ventured into the open kitchen and took the plates from your mother’s hands. She tried stopping him but it was to no avail, once a gentleman, always a gentleman. So she did the next best thing. 

“Are you not embarrassed Jun? Sitting on your rear while the guests prepare the table!”

“I’m a guest too?!” He cried and Jisoo stifled a laugh behind her palm, the other hand rubbing her swollen belly.

“Yah, guest my ass. It’s your house as much as it’s mine so get over here before I rip your ear off.”

San stood by the table and waited for another chance to interfere, or as Jun liked to call it ‘buttering up to the in-laws’. You creeped up behind San and leaned your cheek against his bicep.

“You good?” He wrapped his arm around your waist and pressed a lingering kiss to the side of your head. If someone knew what it meant to be separated from family then it was San, having not seen his own parents in how many years now?

“I’m perfect,” you replied and discreetly created some space between you as the rest of the family entered the kitchen. 

Unlike San, you weren’t very keen on showing public affection especially as you guys never did it due to him being a literal celebrity. You had no problem showering him with love behind closed doors, but it was different with so many people around and in front of your parents nonetheless. That was just forbidden, almost illegal in your books. 

As if they hadn’t done the deed at least four times–

“Well go on, why are you standing there like sheep waiting for Lassie.”

Everyone swammered the table per your mother’s request. You, San and Borah sat on one side of the table with your mother and father on each end, and Jun, Jisoo and Hana across from you.

“How is work, sweetie?”

You faced your mother as she filled your plate with food and you practically tore the spatula from her hands.

“It’s good. There’s a lot now that people are on vacation, but it’s nothing I can’t handle.”

“You’ve always been a hard worker,” she grumbled. “And how are you otherwise?” 

Your brows furrowed, “I’m great too. What do you mean?” 

She stared you dead in the eyes, making sure you were looking at her too, and flickered her gaze down to your stomach and back up again three times.

“I am healthy.”

The bite you tried to hide slipped out and she couldn’t help but scoff. 

“Of course you’re healthy. I don’t give birth to sick babies.”

You don’t know when your mother turned so…sour. When her gentle touches turned to pinches and words of endearment became sneers of displeasure. Over one summer she had changed drastically and called every two to three weeks, asking the same questions, hoping for different answers.

“At least someone here is eating for two.”

The sentence struck you right in the heart and it bothered you how easily she got under your skin. As if prioritizing yourself brought shame on your whole family tree, it wasn’t like she didn’t have a soccer team of grandkids already.

Your sister-in-law smiled timidly and you couldn’t help but feel sorry for her being put in the spotlight just because of your mother’s pettiness.

“Oh, that reminds me, San-ah! We watched your Return of Superman episode,” Hana said excitedly. 

“Who do you like more, uncle San, me or Jaeyul?”

“Mmm, that is a hard question, Borah. How about this, I’ll tell you if you promise to keep it a secret?”

The five year old immediately nodded and San – keeping his promise – gently whispered in her ear, “You.” 

A gasp slinked out of her lips and she threw her hands over her mouth, the two exchanged a look and San made a zipping motion over his lips, a gesture Borah copied. 

“Wah, you’re so good with kids San-ah,” Jun complimented.

“I was just about to say that! We couldn’t stop smiling, it was so endearing. All of you, really,” your sister added and pushed her thick glasses up against her nose. 

San straightened at the praise. A dust of red covered his face accompanied with a bright smile. 

“I just love kids.” 

“Then it’s about time you get some, don’t keep us waiting any longer.”

Your body tensed and your grip on the spoon tightened. Your mother talked about the matter as if babies were truly delivered by storks and not an almost year long process. You kept your gaze on your plate, not daring to meet anyone’s stares, not when you could feel San’s bore into the side of your face. You two had yet to talk about the future and it wasn’t something you were ready for, especially not after his random burst of baby fever. 

San cleared his throat, “Well I’d rather first put a ring on your daughter’s finger, if that’s alright with her.”

Oh, how you loved this man. 

You didn’t need things to be official to know how you felt about San. A scribble of paper and a ring on your finger wouldn’t make your love more real, but you knew if San asked the big question you’d say yes in a heartbeat.

Heat ran through you, from the center of your heart to the tips of your toes, and it was hard to suppress the smile fighting its way on your face. The twins ‘oh-ed’ loudly, Jun even made the table into a makeshift drum as Borah and Jisoo jumped on the teasing wagon. Your father smiled at the scene before him. It was about time you got married, he thought but kept it to himself. Your mother on the other hand wasn’t all too pleased. As much as she wanted you to marry before conceiving, she didn’t want to wait any longer than necessary and with how your life was going, a marriage wasn’t an event in any of her five future calendars.

“Are we supposed to call you Mrs. Choi now?” 

A hard smack resounded in the house with a groan.

The dinner ended with no more personal questions about your and San’s relationship as all the attention was diverted to Jun and Jisoo’s unborn baby. Now you were all gathered in the living room, except for Jisoo who long passed out in Jun’s childhood bedroom. 

“Auntie.” Borah grabbed at your elbow, her legs stretched over your thighs as she sat in San’s lap with her head resting against his chest. 

“Yes, flower?”

Her eyes were droopy and she barely stayed awake despite the loud conversation of the adults. You inched closer to her to easily decipher her slurring words.

“I wanna sleep with you and uncle San.”

“Mmm, you want to cuddle with us?” She nodded tiredly. “Lemme ask uncle San first, okay flower?”

You caressed her hair and she smacked her lips before readjusting herself in San’s arms. Despite balancing between sleep and consciousness she was determined to know his answer. 

It didn’t take much more than a gentle ‘Sannie’ for you to catch his attention, “Borah wants to sleep in our bed. Is that alright with you?” 

He glanced down at the usually sugar rushed child and chuckled at her passed out form. “Of course. Here, I’ll tuck her in.”

While he went upstairs, easily navigating through the house from the previous visits, you stepped foot in the kitchen. The dishes from the dinner had just been pushed aside by your mother as she was dead set on everyone spending more time together, not allowing anyone entry in the kitchen unless it was to get more food. 

Although she was challenging your patience for the past five hours, you still loved her dearly so washing the dishes was the least you could do without blatantly saying it.

“And what do you think you’re doing?” 

Speak of the devil and they shall appear.

“Nothing, making your life easier.”

“Oh, please. My life hasn’t been any easier since you moved out. Constantly worrying about you.”

“Really, mom? There’s nothing to worry about plus it’s not like I’m alone. I have San.” You rinsed a plate and stacked it on the rack to your left.

“I know…That’s what I’m afraid of.”

A glass nearly slipped out of your hands. Your confused eyes met her worried ones and you bit the inside of your cheek, not really understanding what she was getting at.

“Why…I’m sorry, what are you exactly…afraid of?” 

The anxiety grew like weeds in your mind at her gentle whisper of your name. Did she not like San? But that was impossible; she practically referred to him as her favorite son-in-law. 

“Don’t you think it’s time you two get serious?”

“Okay!” You dropped the sponge in the sink and placed your soapy hands on your hips. “You really need to stop talking in riddles or my head is going to explode from anxiety.”

“There you go again with that anxiety. It’s not real!”

“Nope! Don’t try to change the subject. Say what you really mean or just stop talking, mom I swear it’s the only chance I’m giving you to be outright honest with me.”

A beat of silence passed and then another. Just as you thought she was backing down, the second most outrageous thing of the day came out of her mouth.

“Get married to San before he leaves you for someone else.”

You scoffed, “Unbelievable. You’re unbelievable.”

The rag hanging off your shoulder was snatched as you used it to dry your hands, but the anger proved that to be difficult so you bolted up to your room, not bothering with bidding anyone a good night’s sleep. You just needed to get away from the tension downstairs and, believe it or not, you craved San’s comfort.

Anger clouded your vision and all rational thoughts were pushed aside as you threw the door open, scaring San and nearly arousing little Borah. As much as you wanted to slam it shut, you couldn’t. Instead you did the childish-angry thing where you swing the door with all your might and stop it just as it was about to close and create an atomic-like explosion. 

San rose from his comfortable position on the pink fluffy carpet that teenage-you chose, eyes wide in alarm and arms reaching for you. 

He had changed out of the black hoodie and gray suit pants and into something more comfortable; a satin black pajamas you gifted him for Valentine’s day with a pair of semi-rimless glasses perched on his nose. Something about the look made him so domestic your anger nearly disappeared into thin air. 

“Woah, woah. What’s wrong?” 

You hid your face in your hands and San wasted no time taking you in his arms, bringing your body close to him. The motion had you sighing deeply as you exhaustively sunk into his embrace. San didn’t push for an answer and for that you were grateful. He rubbed your back and kissed your temple, nose and cheek.

“It’s my mom,” you eventually whispered.

“You wanna talk about it?” 

You didn’t move at first, weighing your options. Sharing the harsh words of your mom would lead to a conversation you weren’t ready to take. So you shrugged and clasped your hands around his torso. 

“Yes and no.”

“Okay, come here.” 

He gave you another kiss before moving you so your back was against his chest and shuffled over to the bed. He sat down by Borah’s feet, careful not to wake her, and pulled you between his legs dangling over the edge of the queen sized bed. His hands found home on your stomach immediately easing you off your anger. 

“We’ll do whatever you feel like. We can talk about it if you want or I can just listen to you, but if you don’t want to we won’t. We can find something else to do. It’s up to you, honey.”

You took his hands in yours and examined his each and every finger. A wave of nervousness washed over you and a distraction was needed to untangle your tied tongue. 

“She just said some…mean things I guess.”

“About you?”

You nodded silently. “About us.”

San hummed and you honestly expected a stronger reaction, but you should’ve known better. 

He was rational and never really lashed out, at least not that you knew of. You’d never seen him angry enough to act on it.

“She didn’t mean anything ill thought, but you were the starting point of it.”

“Look at me?”

As you faced him his eyes immediately found yours and in them were swirls of pure affection and sincerity.

“I love you.”

The skin on your cheeks burned hot and your lips curled into an embarrassed smile. The confession sent a magic tingle through your body.

“Where is this coming from?”

“I love you,” he said again, not satisfied with your response.

“I love you too, Sannie.”

“Good. Don’t worry ‘bout what your mom says. I love you and nothing will change that.”

Reassuring words and mellow touches. 

“Nothing?”

Not even your fear of childbirth? 

Or the idea that the two of you never may have children?

“Nothing, my love.”

And if he noticed the turn your smile took – going from happy to sad – he didn’t mention it. Because despite everything you couldn’t stop the gnawing thoughts of dread and what if’s from filling your mind.

“Did you watch the episode?”

“What episode?”

“The one of Seonghwa-hyung, Woo and I with the kids.”

Right, that one.

At first you didn’t purposely push it back on your agenda but the more you remembered his wish of starting a family the more chores you suddenly had to do and oh, that pile of paperwork could certainly not wait until after the weekend and when you actually had the time to watch it your phone would ping with a billion messages, every single one coming from San who insisted he craved to hear your voice and see your ‘absolutely angelic face’ – his words. 

So no. You hadn’t seen it.

“Ah, really?” He laughed at the speed you shook your head. “Well, let’s watch it together.”

“Now?”

“Mmm. Unless you don’t wanna?”

“Oh– Uhm, no! Go ahead, I’ll just change into something comfortable.”

Why he brought his laptop for a two day journey, you had no idea but apparently it worked in his favor because there you were laying on the side closest to the wall with Borah snuggled between you guys while the laptop was perched on San’s stomach, the episode playing in full swing.

Every interaction with the twins or Jaeyul made your guts twist and clench. You had to admit it was cute; so cute that your dinner almost went back up the same way it came from. You felt so bad and the worst of it all was the guilt that followed, the guilt of knowing you weren’t doing anything wrong yet you’d still be treated as if you were. 

And it was such a shitty situation, because how come that the man who’d single-handedly light up each and every star for you, also was the one to summon the clouds obscuring the night sky?

You didn’t notice San’s lingering eyes or the way his fingers itched to hold yours or the three word long question resting on his tongue. Not that he was being obvious about it. Whenever you looked at him he’d flash you that derpy smile of his and a reassuring blink that lasted a second too long. 

It may have been unclear to you, but nothing passed your radar of a brother. He did have the maturity of a boy going through early stages of puberty, but you had to give it to him, he was observant. Too observant for his own good.

“What’s going on with you and lover boy?”

Thanks to Jun’s stupidity you both were honored with dish-duties. What you didn’t know was that it was all a part of his masterplan. 

“What?”

“I don’t know I’m the one asking you.”

You glared at him and he wordlessly took the clean tray from you.

“I’m just saying, we dudes, we see when something’s wrong.”

“So something’s wrong with San?”

“Not with San.” He put the tray in place and threw the rag over his shoulder, painfully dragging out the conversation, “With you.”

“There’s nothing wrong with me?” 

“Mm-mm, there is. You’re all tense and silent, and anytime someone mentions a baby you do this thing where you disapp– Yeah, just like that!” He snapped his fingers and pointed at your face void of emotion.

“I’m just not feeling it today.”

A gasp left his mouth and he looked around almost alarmed. “Don’t tell me you’re…pregnant?” He whispered the last word as if it was a crime that could sentence you to life in prison.

Out of sheer surprise and terror you smacked the side of his head. 

“Are you out of your mind?!” You hissed back.

“I’ll take that as a no.”

“It is a no!” 

“Okay, don’t hit me again!” As you raised your arm he simultaneously threw his hands up to shield himself from your wrath. 

A third party watched the banter from the living room, his feet tucked under his thighs in a pretzel motion and tongue poking at his cheek. The three years you spent together, from the platonic start to the blossoming romance, granted you more knowledge of each other than anyone else. 

San noticed your change in behavior at the dinner table last night, after the talk with your mother and as you cozied up to him in bed. At first he brushed it off as jitters for not being home for so long and the overwhelming emotions of finally meeting everyone again, but the more he thought of it the more he realized it wasn’t like you. And he promised himself to ask you about it, he just needed to find the perfect moment when you weren’t being swammered by everyone else which proved to be nearly impossible. If you weren’t hounded by your mother or bothered by your siblings, then you were stuck with the little ones and their sticky fingers.

“San-ah.”

Hana brought him out of his thoughts.

“Do you ever see yourself having kids?”

The question threw him off guard because wasn’t it obvious? What more could he want than to start a family with the love of his life?

“Of course, but it’s not something we’ve gotten around yet. We’re not rushing anywhere either!” 

Hana nodded and took a long sip of her chamomile tea. There was something so uneasy with her watchful eyes and the slight purse of her lips that had San thinking a little too much to his liking.   

Was he missing something? 

And he really shouldn’t have asked, prod at her interest and start something he wasn’t sure he was ready for but being the curious cat he was, San couldn't help himself.

“If you don’t mind, why are you asking?”

“Mmm…you see, she’s not the brightest when it comes to children.”

That sentence sounded like an unstrung guitar being played with a dull rock underwater. If San remembered correctly, you shone the brightest around your nieces and nephews. There was never a dull moment with them, always bringing you to tears from laughing too much. He saw you with them; you were gentle, thoughtful and careful, and he was certain it had nothing to do with you sharing the same blood. 

San must have looked confused because Hana spluttered out an explanation, her hands waving around at the speed of light. 

“I’m just saying that because I know how you’re with kids. Anyone can see you love them and I know it wouldn’t be fair to you.” 

“What wouldn’t be fair?”

“Not having kids,” she said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

San wanted to ask more questions yet he decided to hold his tongue. He wouldn’t be able to see the complete puzzle anyways and he knew the missing piece could only be received from one person – you.

“It’s a mutual concern of ours and we are just looking out for you.” She gave him a few pats of comfort, for what he had yet to find out, “God knows my husband would be devastated if I didn’t want kids.”

San listened silently, the frown on his face deepening with each word.

Did your sister not want kids? 

He followed her line of vision leading straight to you and then it hit him.

You didn’t want kids. 

The images of San holding a toddler that was the spitting image of him; a head too big for its body, chubby cheeks and faint brows, haunted you every night. Some dreams were more vivid than others, but they were never the same. The most recent one was of the three of you taking a walk in the park. The little girl sat on San’s shoulders wearing a purple hat with cat ears while you trailed behind them, a matching bag around your shoulder and a camera in your hands. As San turned around you caught a glimpse of their bright smiles and identical dimples. The girl saw you and stretched her arms out, a giddy ‘mom!’ tumbling out of her mouth.

That’s when you woke up in a puddle of sweat. You could barely catch your own breath as you jumped out of bed, nearly toppling to the floor in the process. 

A cloud of guilt and shame loomed over you for various reasons. Mainly for dreaming of a future you could not see for yourself. It got to the point where you stayed up all night just to avoid the dreams. You picked up more shifts at the office, working late nights and early mornings, and it was a success until you cleared your whole schedule. Then came the idea of starting a new hobby; crocheting but your patience ran out rather quickly, who knew learning a double crochet would be so difficult? 

Your guilty conscience affected your relationship with San too. Dates were painfully awkward as if you were a high school couple going on your first outing together, stealing shy glances and looking away as soon as your eyes met. 

Then it was the skinship, whenever you accidentally touched fingers or feet collided underneath the dinner table, you’d withdraw so quickly as if burned by the scorch of a hundred suns. It was almost foreign to cuddle up on the couch too, San’s hands on your lower back and your cheek against his chest. At first you didn’t think he noticed the change in your behavior, but as you laid on top of him you could feel his heart rapidly beat in your ear and hands ghost over your skin, a trail of goosebumps following his faint touch.

Neither dared to speak up about the thick tension, assuming it would all go away in due time but the closer you got to the date of Ateez leaving for their tour in Latin America, the less likely it was to subdue. 

Little did you know San wasn’t feeling any better himself. Hana’s words played in his head on a loop, creating new presumptions of what she meant. She wasn’t that straightforward with her message and San could’ve either pieced together the wrong information or been completely spot on. He’d never know if he never asked, which proved to be harder than expected.

The few times your schedules aligned you were interrupted by San’s phone – Seonghwa and Mingi checking if he was dining at yours or with them – and if it weren’t that then it was something else. The days he made sure nothing could interrupt he’d chicken out last minute and smoothly avert the attention to anything remotely more interesting.

“Did you see Mingi’s new hair color?”

“I made Jongho promise to teach you how to break an apple in half!”

“Yeosang wants to buy a puppy!”

The confidence San possessed on stage in front of thousands was plummeting to the ground. Hard and fast. It honestly baffled him how much control one person could hold over him. Not that he complained, who was supposed to make his knees weak and brain all mushy besides you?

Knees weak and mushy brain was exactly how he felt as you opened the door, revealing yourself. You wore a black and white striped sweater with a black skirt stopping midthigh. The top was slightly big so you tucked it in your skirt. A small dark bag hung over your shoulder matching your leather boots. Simple yet elegant jewelry adorned your fingers and ears. You topped it off with black see-through stockings and black coat. 

“Is this too much for a night out?”

You were stunning. 

“It’s perfect, babe.” 

He handed you a beautiful bouquet of pink and red roses mixed with fillers, the brown paper gave them an old school look. You suppressed a squeal of joy and took the flowers from him, planning to put them in a vase, but not before planting a quick and shy kiss to the apple of his cheek. Your lipstick smeared on his skin almost camouflaging with the redness crawling up his neck, attacking his ears and cheeks, luckily for him you bolted to the kitchen, embarrassed at your own gesture.

You truly were like a pair of high schoolers, but for once you didn’t feel an ounce of guilt.  Perhaps it was your consciousness pushing the thoughts away for the night as it was your last date before San left overseas. 

“Ready to go?”

San was breathtaking.

It was no surprise that your boyfriend was a work of art, but there was something different about him tonight. Dark slacks accented his hard thighs a black turtleneck covered his bulging arms and slim waist with a gray coat hung snuggly over his frame reaching his calves. You always said his natural hair color suited him the best and it was true, especially when it was slicked back with a few strands falling over his exposed forehead.

You gulped harshly, “Yup.” 

You placed your hand in his and smiled as his fingers thread through yours like the roots of a tree becoming one with the earth. Giddy smiles hid behind your masks but the sparkle in your eyes was brighter than the night sky and its million stars.

San stuffed your woven hands in the pocket of his large coat for the short walk to his manager’s car and then his hand found its long lost place on your thigh during the drive to your favorite restaurant. 

You were addicted to his reassuring words and mellow touches.

San held his breath and was fully prepared to feel your body still at the skinship or for you to slowly pull away, but when you did the complete opposite – tightening your hold on his hand – he exhaled in relief. 

The restaurant was made for celebrities to have somewhere to go and enjoy their time without noisy people and overbearing fans. They even had a no phone policy to maximize the safety and privacy of everyone inside, that way the possibility of scandals coming out were zero to none. It wasn’t everyday you went on expensive dates for obvious reasons, mainly because of San’s schedule but also because you felt bad for him paying every time. It was no secret San earned more money than you, being a literal idol, but you still made it work somehow.  

For the first time in a while you felt good beside him. The unsettling dreams and thoughts of the future were as if non-existent and you didn’t want it any other way, at least for the night. Halfway through your second glass of wine San started blabbering about the tour. You wouldn’t say he was drunk, but rather relaxed. 

“So where are you going first?”

He thought for a minute, “Mexico, Brazil, Chile and then Colombia.”

“Isn’t it your first time performing there? That must be exciting!”

“Mhm, I can’t wait to see our Latin American Atinys. I know some of them have been with us since predebut. Honestly I’d travel around the world just to meet them all.”

“That’d be the dream wouldn’t it?”

“Yeah,” he smiled, “It’d be even better if you were there with me.”

His small pout and glistening eyes made you laugh, “Because that’d be such a good idea. I can bet all my life savings it would end up in a disaster one way or another.”

“What? Why?”

You placed your utensils down, “San, honey. I don’t think you realize how popular you are, like all of twitter wants to fuck you.” 

San stopped mid chewing, his eyes wide and brows raised to the roof. The loading wheel appeared above him and he smiled embarrassingly as your words finally registered, his teeth white but the tips of his ears burned red. 

“Yah, don’t say that.” He suddenly looked away as if he wasn’t showered with compliments on a daily basis.

“Well it’s Atinys’ words, not mine.” 

“You jealous?”

The cheekiness didn’t go unnoticed by you so in an equally teasing tone, you replied, “I can’t be jealous of something I actually get to do.”

And if there was anything better than a tipsy San then it was a flustered one.

“You shy, baby?”

He shook his head with a little ‘no’ that barely reached your ears.

The rest of the date was perfect – much to your surprise – and not once did the guilt ridden thoughts infiltrate your mind, not even when you passed a happy couple pushing a stroller on your way home or when you saw, what must have been, the biggest smile of the night on San’s handsome face. For a split second you thought everything would work out in the end. You’d overcome this obstacle just like you did with the move to Seoul or with the test you nailed after months of pulling all-nighters. But only for a split second because as the clock struck midnight your night took an unexpected turn with it.

“You need a place to stay for the night?” It came out more suggestive than you intended, however you didn’t mind.

“I don’t know, did you plan to sleep tonight?”

Your pointer finger rested against your chin as you pretended to think.

“If that’s the case then you won’t be getting any sleep tonight.”

A pair of very familiar hands grabbed your hips sending an electric feeling through your body despite the skirt separating your skin from touching. Your bodies fit like two pieces of a missing puzzle. 

“I wasn’t planning on it,” you replied and threw your head back against the crook of his neck. 

“Good.”

You were a feather in San’s hand and he treated you with care. Never too rough or foul, always considerate and kind but not opposed to it if you asked. He spun you around and stared at you with a million stars in his eyes, completely and utterly lost in the beautiful galaxy that is you. 

San cupped your cheek and traced your bottom lip with his thumb. His touch stopped at the corner of your mouth, his eyes widened as you lightly bit down on his finger. Your warm tongue against his cold skin. Your parted lips pulled into a smirk and it spurred San to push his thumb deeper in your mouth, now laying completely flat against the wet muscle. The innocent yet sultry bat of your eyes drove him crazy.

Reassuring words and mellow touches. 

He wanted you. He wanted to lick and nip at your skin, paint it full of violet and crimson clover. Make your writhe and turn in his hold until breathless pleas filled your apartment. He craved you beneath him, bare and vulnerable while he worshiped your body with praises and sinful words. He wanted to make love to you.

Yet he couldn’t. 

Not when you were both haunted by your thoughts.

He slipped his thumb from your mouth taking the sexual atmosphere with it.

“Love?” 

His eyes snapped to yours and he knew then and there that the art of love wouldn’t solve any of your worries, because at the end of the night he’d still travel halfway across the world with the nagging thoughts packed between his briefs and socks.

“Is everything alright?” You gently latched onto his wrist, thumb stroking the back of his hand.

“I love you,” San suddenly confessed.

A crease formed between your brows, lips glued together and eyes almost glossy. You were taken back at the sweet words but even more so at the way he was looking at you – almost sad. 

“Where is this coming from?”

“I love you,” he repeated. 

The scene wasn’t a sense of deja-vu, that much you knew, but rather a memory from a few weeks ago. A memory that was much sweeter and domestic than now. The response San expected to hear didn’t come as quickly as he hoped and through his tipsy vision he recognized a moment of hesitation. 

“Honey?”

“I love you too, San.” 

“What’s going on in that head of yours?” He suddenly asked.

The loving touches and flirty banter went down the drain and you were left with a silence so loud and overwhelming you couldn’t think properly. 

“What?”

“I said, what’s going on in that head of yours?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean something’s got you distracted.”

“There’s nothing going on,” you insisted stubbornly.

“Absolutely nothing?”

“San…everything's fine.”

“Except it isn't! I know you enough to see the changes. You barely sleep and this is the first time in days where I’ve seen you with a real smile.”

It broke his heart to see you slink from his embrace. Arms crossing over your chest and head turning sideway.

“Honey, please talk to me.” He sounded desperate. 

“And I am. There’s nothing wrong.” 

He raked his hand through his hair. The deep sigh whirling around your apartment. 

“Don’t lie. Not to me.”

You stayed silent yet again. 

“I’m here for you, always will be.”

“I can’t,” you whispered into the august breeze.

“What?”

“I can’t tell you,” you repeated a little louder.

“Why?”

“Because you’ll hate me!” It stung San into silence. “You’ll hate me and never want to speak to me again.”

He hungered for your touch, hands itching to reach for yours and as he took a step forward you took one back.

“You can’t keep it bottled up forever, love.” 

“I can try.”

Tears formed in your eyes and your voice cracked. You tried blinking them away but they raced down your cheeks against your will.

“C’mere.”

That was all it took for you to fling yourself at him. Your hands gripped the back of his shirt, nails digging into the expensive material. One hand cradled the back of your head and the other supported your back, rubbing gentle circles against your knitted sweater. San leaned down and pressed a long kiss to your crown, lingering and breathing in the sweet scent of you.

“I can’t breathe without you by my side so if you think I’ll ever hate you, you’re wrong. My love, you could break my heart a thousand times over and I’d still find reason to love you.”

Hot tears soaked into his shirt and you wanted to disagree but the tremble of your lips told you to be quiet so you shook your head violently instead.

You stood there for a long time, in each other’s arms with soft kisses and soothing touches. The emotions swirling around the apartment were too big for your shoulders and the rational part of you knew that you wouldn’t be able to carry them with you much longer.

“I don’t want children.”

It was interesting how a four worded sentence could either be the demise or rise of a relationship. What path your and San’s would take was yet to be determined, but God did you hope it was the latter. 

The argument broke out three days ago and while you've gone months without seeing each other, these 72 hours were by far the most excruciating period of your relationship. You didn’t ever think there’d be a person you’d miss this much. To see and hold, kiss and laugh with.

The first day was spent bathing in your own tears and snot. You were forced out of work by your co-workers as they didn’t buy your lie of ‘everything being alright’. It wasn’t like you could tell them your idol boyfriend of three years ran head first out of your apartment after an argument, absolutely not because you literally told him to give you space. So from nine am to nine pm you were cooped up in your bed, crying, scrolling through your socials, crying some more until you eventually fell asleep. 

The second day wasn’t anything better, except for the three tubs of ice cream you inhaled. They were kept in the back of your freezer for emergencies such as these. With a quick pat on the back for eating something you pushed the containers aside and continued your self wallowing, dressed in one of your (San’s) hoodies that smelled of caramelized sugar. Your phone blew up with calls from your family. Everyone concerned about you suddenly going MIA, but not enough to pay you a visit which you were both thankful and bitter about.

The third following morning came around and you decided that it was time to get your shit together. You still had a job to return to and bills to pay. It was all going well too, you cleaned the apartment and got rid of all the empty ice cream tubs, made a home cooked meal for the first time in three days, you even changed your bedsheets and did the laundry. The last thing on your list was a well deserved full-body shower.

The frantic ring of your doorbell fell on deaf ears as water pattered on your bare body and the tiled floor. Your fingers worked through your hair, rubbing almost painfully at your scalp as shampoo water went down the drain. 

It was first after you cut the stream and stepped out of the shower that you realized someone was at the door. With a roll of your eyes, you leisurely squeezed the excess water out of your hair and wrapped a towel around yourself. The chime of the bell didn’t stop and you were on the brink of insanity.

There were only two people with keys to your place; San and your mom. 

Your parents had no reason for coming all the way to Seoul in the middle of the day and San…even though your relationship wasn’t in the best shape you knew he’d never turn up unannounced, whether he told you by call or text didn’t matter as long as he reached out. He said it was a way of respecting your privacy and as much as you didn’t care for that, it was heartwarming. 

6:30 PM glared the digital clock on the console table in the hallway. 

All you wanted was one normal day. A morning without spilling coffee on your clean clothes, an afternoon without stubbing your toe on the desk in your office and a night without someone trying to sell you cookies or whatnot. It’d also be so much easier to crawl beneath your sheets and cry yourself to sleep without a maniac creating the newest billboard hit outside your apartment, but hey each to their own.

As much as you wanted to swing the door open and bark out profanities at the nuisance, you knew better and opted with looking through the peeping hole. Never did you expect a soaked San to stand there, rolling back and forth on the balls of his feet while desperately abusing the doorbell.

San didn’t have time to react, neither at the door being opened nor for you appearing with only a towel. You took hold of his hand and dragged him inside to which he shut the door behind him and somehow managed to take off his shoes. You threw him a spare towel and disappeared in your room. San stood there like a kicked dog, ears flat against his head and tail certainly not wagging. A few seconds later you returned dressed in one of San’s many t-shirts and your pajama shorts, carrying a change of clothes.  

You wordlessly gave them to him and escaped to your room again. San took that as his queue to get dressed. 

The run to your apartment gave him barely any time to collect his thoughts, too busy with providing his burning lungs with air and keeping an eye out for cars and potential followers. So now that he stood, not in front of your door, but in your living room he was completely shitting his pants. 

The cold and distant facade you managed to pull off in front of him crumbled the second you crossed the threshold of your room. You really strained all seventeen of your muscles not to cry and you could argue it was your best accomplishment yet as not a single tear kissed your cheeks.

“Hey.”

You looked up from your spot on the bed. Staring at your partner who stopped by the door. Your throat was dry and itchy, brain indiciseive of what to say and do. He wasn’t supposed to be here, that much you knew. Their agency had this weird rule of not allowing their idols out a day prior to their tour and it didn’t sit right with you knowing he went against their words, for you nonetheless. 

“San, what are you doing here?”

Unsteady sleeping schedules, caffeine filled drinks and insomnia were the standard for idols. Anyone claiming otherwise was either lying straight through their teeth or had a great planning method something San could really use these days. 

San was no stranger to succumbing to sleep at the early hours of the morning or not sleeping at all. The extra time was usually put into practice or perfecting his secret project, and sometimes something simple as laying in bed staring up at the ceiling.

But now it was hard to do any of that with you taking over his every thought. He found himself wondering about things that weren’t supposed to infiltrate his mind for the next five years. 

Get married. Move in. Adopt a cat. Have kids.

A short list of things that were crossing the line between adolescence and adulthood. 

The image of you and San doing that together spread a radiant smile across his face and his roommates, clueless as ever, couldn’t stop their own mouths from curving upwards. There was truly no other person he could think of doing any of that with and his heart was heavy as he realized he may never complete the list.

It took three calls from Seonghwa for San to acknowledge the older man sitting on the edge of his bed beside the open and empty suitcase. 

“Are you okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be okay?”

Seonghwa leaned back on his arms keeping him from completely falling on the bed and stared at San’s computer screen, nonchalantly watching as he played one of his many games. The elder had come straight out of his own room from finishing a youtube live – a youtube live San crashed for a good fifteen minutes before abruptly leaving – and although Atiny probably didn’t notice the change of behavior in the younger Ateez member, Seonghwa did. 

San sighed as the last character of his team died and the word ‘defeat’ flashed in large capital letters took over the majority of the screen. 

“San-ah.”

Said man placed his expensive headset on the desk and twirled in his chair, and Seonghwa had a feeling the glum look on his features wasn’t from losing the game. 

“I’m not saying you aren’t. I’m just checking if there’s something bothering you. Something I can help you with?” 

The prolonged silence did nothing to soothe Seonghwa’s worries. He closely watched the hesitation slowly crack through San’s facade – bottom lip caught between his teeth, picking at his nails and eyes glazed over, darting literally everywhere except at Seonghwa.

Cautiously, he asked if it had something to do with you and his suspicion was confirmed when their eyes met. 

“It’s…complicated.”

“How so?”

“Because I thought of a thing and it turns out I was right.”

Seonghwa tried asking as few questions as possible to not overwhelm San, but the conversation wasn’t giving him much to work with.

“And what were you thinking about?”

San ran his hands through his black hair and looked as if he was racking his brains, he then violently rubbed at his eyes too. It was one thing to think about the whole situation and another to say it out loud, possibly speaking it into existence. 

“You don’t have to te–”

“Starting a family.” 

The trip to your hometown really did a number on him, Seonghwa thought. 

Cheeks red and palms sweaty, San cleared his throat. A little embarrassed at the confession and for cutting Seonghwa off so abruptly.

“I was thinking of what it’d be like to start a family with her.”

“Starting a what with who?”

Mingi stood in the doorway with parted lips and eyebrows raised to the roof, wet tufts of blonde and black hair peeked from underneath the towel on his head.

“It was just a thought.”

“And there’s nothing wrong with it,” Seonghwa assured.

“Yeah, but it doesn’t really matter.” 

“How come?” Mingi pressed, now leaning against the door.

“Because she doesn’t want a family…or well, at least not kids.”

Seonghwa and Mingi exchanged glances. All of Ateez knew of San’s adoration for kids. Heck, Seonghwa had front row seats to it and all. He remembered thinking how skilled San was with the twins and even with the energized boy. 

But none of it mattered now. If what San said was true – which he had no doubts about – then your choice went above everyone else’s, including San’s. 

“And how do you feel about that?”

San looked at the eldest. “There’s nothing I can do about it. I mean, sure I love kids I do, but I love her more.”

“Then I don’t see what the issue is,” Mingi chimed in. 

“It’s still a bitter situation Mingi, and Sannie has the right to feel…upset. Have you talked to her?” 

San groaned and buried his face in the palms of his hands, thinking back how it all escalated so quickly. The split second he tried processing everything, you’d already decided it was time for him to leave and pushed him out, crying how you needed to be alone. Too stunned to properly react, San did as told.

“I walked out…”

Dread filled their guts as Mingi and Seonghwa patiently waited for the remainder of the story. They hoped San wouldn’t say what they were thinking.

“She confided in me at first and then pushed me away, screaming at me to go and I…listened. ”

“Well that changes the trajectory of things don’t you think?” Mingi said after the minute long silence and Seonghwa shot him a pointed look.

“San, we are not leaving for the tour until you talk to her,” Seonghwa declared. 

The elder had no lover of his own, but he had seen enough movies to know how these situations ended. Spoiler alert: a painful break up for both parties.

San shrugged, “I’m sure Hongjoong would like that.”

“And you don’t think your girlfriend would? Listen here. We’re supposed to leave for the airport at seven am, I’ll give you the night if you make amends.”

Seonghwa stopped before San, a wide smile on his gorgeous face. “Besides, a family doesn’t become a family when a child is brought into it. If you think about it, the three of us and the rest of the guys are like a family, right?”

“We are a family,” Mingi corrected.

“Exactly. So who’s to say you two aren’t one too?” 

“I’m here to do what I should’ve done days ago.”

It was hard to look him in the eye. The sincerity in them had your heart in knots, tugging and tightening with your every breath. 

“Can I come in?”

San had his arms by his side and hands balled into fists to keep them from trembling. There was no doubt in his mind that you’d be in his arms by the end of the night, but it didn’t stop his pulse from skyrocketing.

“You’re already here.” 

A faint, appreciative smile crossed his features as he gingerly took the seat beside you. There was no real malice to your words and he was thankful because honestly speaking he wouldn’t know what to make of it if you still needed ‘time’. San straightened and breathed out a sigh as if letting go of all his nerves.

“I want to start by saying; I’m sorry.”

You snapped your head towards him, confused as to why he was the one apologizing. You were the issue at hand here. You were the one depriving him of something he wished for, you pushed him away. Not the other way around. 

“I’m really sorry for pressuring you–”

“San, no–” You shook your head, tears already threatening to make their dramatic entrance.

“Just listen to me, please.” 

And his desperate plea was their queue to waltz in much to your dismay. 

San lifted your chin so he could see your face and frowned at the tears. “I'm sorry if I ever made you feel obliged to push your feelings aside for me. That has never been my intention and it never will be.”

He cupped your face gently in both hands and wiped away your remaining tears with his thumbs. It pained him to know the tears were inflicted by his doing.

“I love you.”

“San,” you whimpered, barely able to get the word out. 

“Hey, it’s okay. Just breathe for me. I’m not leaving.”

That was your breaking point. You heaved for air as more tears blurred your vision. A heavy weight lifted off your shoulders as you found solace in his words and San felt his own heart break at your wails. Feeling embarrassed you abruptly stood up and put a hand over your mouth to stop the broken cries. Staying true to his words, San hugged you from behind and pressed you into his embrace. Chin resting against your shoulder as his arms went around your waist. You stood like that until your tears ran dry and cries turned into hiccups.

San whispered words of encouragement in your ear, lips grazing the skin with each pronunciation. Your feet moved with his as he maneuvered you to bed and under the covers. A meteor could hit the earth and he wouldn't leave your side. You laid there in silence with your back to his chest. His arm under your neck and the other curled around your waist, keeping you flushed against his front. Your occasional sniffles filled the gaps letting San know you were awake.

“My love,” he started and you shifted as a reply of acknowledgement, “remember that night at your parents’ house? When your mother said something to upset you and you stormed up to your room?”

You nodded while playing with his fingers spread across your abdomen.

“Do you remember what I told you?” 

“That you loved me and nothing would change that.”

He kissed the back of your head. “I still stand by that. I love you. Not what you can or can’t give me. I love you when you cry and I love you when you laugh. I love you through your anger and grief. I love your kindness and selflessness.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing, please. You should only apologize when you’ve done something wrong.”

“But I led you on. San, we want different things. You want a child–” your voice cracked and you drew in a sharp breath, “–and that’s not something I’m sure I can give you, ever.” 

“That’s not true.” He sat up and leaned over your body, “I wanna cuddle you to sleep and wake you with breakfast in bed. I want us to buy furniture and assemble it together only to give up halfway through. I want us to bake a ridiculous cake that ends up in a flour fight. I want all of that with you!”

San planted a soft kiss against the back of your hand.

“Children or not, it won’t change the fact that I love you and I’ll continue to say it until all the trees are cut down, until the ocean dries out and all the stars go out. I love you. Always have and always will.”

His caring words drew a smile from you and the harsh knot around your heart slowly came undone. His affectionate eyes searched yours and he’d wait an eternity for your answer, but you didn’t need more time to know what you wanted. Your hands caressed the sides of his neck and with a quick pull of his neck, your lips clashed in a passionate kiss.

Reassuring words and mellow touches. 

© HONGJOONGSART 2023 - All rights reserved. Copying, editing, reposting or translating my work is not allowed.

[sanhwaism]

MR. JEALOUSY | C. S.

pairing ⟡ bf .ᐟ choi san x gn .ᐟ reader x bestie .ᐟ wooyoung

synopsis ⟡ what was once supposed to be a date just between you and san, turns into a trio-trip with a familiar and hungry companion. the problem is that san wants your eyes on him and only him, how dare you play with his heart like that and make him feel jealous?

genre ⟡ established relationship, fluff, slight comedy of course because wooyoung is here ^-^ woosan silly bickering (giggles yes thats a genre!)

warnings ⟡ mentions of food, pet names, wooyoung lets out a curse oopsies, san is acting all jealous and sulky so i'm warning you!! don't let the cuteness aggression get to you!!

w.c ⟡ 1.6k

author's note ⟡ why lie i finished this in class and i was trying SO hard not to giggle imagining woosan being their usual silly selves and bickering with each other (lovingly!) this cutieful idea was requested by @minghaoslatina so i really hope you'll enjoy it!!

san is starting to regret some life decisions the more he walks beside you, holding your hand while your head is turned towards wooyoung. and before he can even try to get your attention, you laugh at his best friend's choice of words. probably a silly joke of his.

it's not that he doesn't enjoy the state you're in — all giddy and relaxed, visibly comfortable with wooyoung's company here — it's just that his dear, close friend seems to have forgotten about... well, for the lack of a better word, sharing you with him, at least. this was supposed to be a date just between you and san, but take a wild guess who decided to join, whining about how hungry he is. san couldn't refuse, not when you turned around to look at him all hopeful and excited for this little trip and not when wooyoung suggested a very nice restaurant that he wants to go to, but not just by himself. how could san refuse if you want his best friend to join this time? and obviously because food was mentioned, (delicious steak, to be more precise) his interest was piqued instantly.

and that's how he found himself on the rather crowded streets of seoul at night, accompanied by the one and only for dinner. the scenery is eye catching, soft and warm lighting surrounding all three of you as you stroll through the city until the destination is reached. it's always the same atmosphere when this trio gets together: full of laughter and affection, goofing around or reminiscing about different topics. throughout the years you have been getting close to wooyoung mainly because of san, and thanks to your boyfriend you consider woo one of your closest friends now. not to forget how eager he was to meet you after san told him about you, pouring all of his feelings into that conversation and talking about how you make him feel. his best friend was so happy for him and kept teasing him about how he finally managed to get over the 'shy, talking' stage. once you two met, wooyoung's friendly and open nature made you feel at ease and you immediately understood why everyone adores him.

truth be told, san is barely listening to whatever wooyoung is saying or doing to make you laugh this much, his undivided attention being on you. how beautiful you look. what you have done with your hair, how you accidentally matched outfits with him but you're not aware of it — because if you were, you would've pointed it out — which san finds very cute. you're wearing a jacket that matches his and which hugs your body just right, and the color of your comfy scarf surrounding your neck just accentuates your pretty, sparkly eyes. and suddenly he realizes how much he wants those eyes to look at him. why aren't you looking at him?

"jagiyaaa," you hear your boyfriend's pleading tone and immediately focus your attention on him, still giggling while wooyoung does the same next to you. he lightly shakes your hand in his with the smallest pout possible, trying not to appear affected. "don't forget the love of your life, will you?"

his dramatic reaction makes wooyoung burst out laughing once again as he covers his mouth with a hand.

"this guy! ah, really... he's so annoying!" he complains, clearly amused with san.

on your other side, san keeps pouting at you and doesn't break the intense eye contact. you try so hard to stop yourself from grabbing his face and squish his soft cheeks. is he jealous?

the thought evokes a soft giggle out of you. all of the sudden you feel like teasing your boyfriend a bit, just because he looks so cute all sulky like this.

"how can i simply just forget about the love of my life, hm? of course not," to san's utter shock, you turn your head again to his best friend. "right wooyoung?"

hearing san's loud gasp, you try your best not to laugh while wooyoung smirks all knowingly and shakes his head in approval, quick in figuring out your 'teasing san' game and mastering it with no difficulty. he's a pro when it comes to poking fun at his best friend.

"mhm, exactly, that's meeeee~" cutely giggling to himself he drops an arm over your shoulders, giving you an affectionate side hug as his cheek rubs against the soft material of your scarf like an adorable cat.

this game actually ends faster than you would've thought.

"ya."

you hear san's grave and more serious tone, then a familiar pair of hands touch your waist. you can't even blink once and you're already being held hostage in san's strong arms that wrapped around you tightly, keeping you close to his chest.

"this isn't funny." he talks in pout, his squinted eyes shooting daggers at the man who's snickering behind you. frowning, san bites his lower lip and slowly blinks at him, a habit of his when he's annoyed. "ya, stop laughing. you're the annoying one here."

wooyoung pauses laughing and gives san a dumbfounded stare, eyes widening. "eh? how am i the annoying one? what did i do?"

"don't forget you are the one joining me and y/n for our date."

wooyoung huffs and immediately fires back. "oh really? then i can pay for the food with my own money and sit at another table, thank you very much mr. jealousy."

"that's not what–"

you intervene to put an end to their familiar bickering, which you're used to and often find entertaining. but this time you're aware that you caused it in the first place. guilt washes over you.

"okay, okay, enough you two." you sigh and look up at san. he immediately notices your gaze on him so he lowers his head, eyes softening at the sight of you. even if he wants to be upset, it's impossible for him to stay mad for more than one minute. he loves you too much. and even if he is aware that the relationship between you and wooyoung is purely platonic and his best friend is your best friend as well, he can't help but sulk and feel jealous.

though he won't admit that out loud. not with wooyoung as a witness, at least. it's embarrassing.

"look, i'm sorry baby, i started this," you apologize with a soft, honest voice while caressing the sides of his exposed neck with your hands. "now let's go, i'm starving!"

you hear wooyoung letting out a loud, dramatic sigh, relieved that someone finally understands the main problem here: that you guys are still not inside the restaurant, eating. his stomach is growling at this point.

yet san doesn't move an inch once you make two steps forward, trying to pull him after you. confused, you turn around and when your gaze falls on his puckered lips, a small laugh escapes your own.

"sannieee, come on," he pouts even harder, messing with your poor fragile heart. "honey, i told you that i am sorry. what else do–"

"kiss."

"kiss?"

"oh absolutely not. nuh-uh." wooyoung is quick to disagree, his nose scrunched with revulsion. san steals a glance at him, trying to think of a savage comeback. all of the sudden his pout turns into a menacing smirk.

"why not? you knew you were going to third wheel this whole time yet you still decided to self invite."

"ya! what's wrong with you?" the attacked man laughs at him. "i just said i don't wanna go by myself, that's boring you idiot. i also can't take you seriously with this face expression you have. am i supposed to be scared of you or..."

the more they bicker with each other, the more braincells you feel like losing, so letting out an exasperated sound you manage to grab both of the five years olds' attention.

"oh my god, you guys! just... san. my love, my dear, tell me, what kind of kiss?"

your boyfriend stays silent while slightly turning his head to the side.

"cheek." he talks in pout again, shyly looking away.

"i can't fucking believe you." you hear wooyoung as you move swiftly closer to san. you want nothing more but to stop his sulking as soon as possible and to finally go to that restaurant. the moment your lips press against his cheek and kiss it lovingly, you can feel the famous dimple making an appearance.

"there!" giggling, you pull away as san hums, definitely satisfied. his cheeks are now flushed red and you fight the urge to kiss his other cheek. "is that enough?"

"hmm..."

"don't you dare." wooyoung groans, letting his head fall back. his patience is running thin and he is so close to committing a murder soon.

"am i the love of your life?"

you chuckle and nod your head. "yes, san, you are the love of my life. that's you." he can sense the seriousness in your voice and it soothes him. it feels so nice to hear it from you. the way you say it melts him as he feels his heart almost jumping out of his chest. all he manages to do is let out the most endearing giggle as he interlocks fingers with you and pulls you in close. you three start walking again after what feels like decades. neither you or san noticed that wooyoung took some pictures of you being all lovey dovey a minute ago.

"you two are so cute i might puke and my stomach is literally empty."

you laugh as san rolls his eyes at his friend, amused. "shut up."

wooyoung throws a playful wink in his direction.

"i love you too, jagiya~"

𓏲 ࣪₊♡ taglist: @yuyusuyu

{💌ྀི} masterlist.

[mayaflowerxs]

JEALOUSY, JEALOUSY

Synopsis: San can’t already stand your best friend, especially when all she does is fill your head with negativity about him. But his breaking point may just be when she suggests you to start using a toy over him.

Warning: Smut / Fluff / Slight Angst . Swear word usage, jealousy, Best friend is an instigator, tension and use of sex toys. Sadism, creampie, pregnancy kink, + more.

Pairing: San x fem reader

San is a very caring person. He’s sweet, patient, a literal definition of a sweetheart. An art created by women, but he does have one little tick. And that’s not being able to stand your best friend. In most relationships it’s an either or situation.

Either the boyfriend and partner’s best friend get along great. Siblings from different parents even, jokes are made, slight bickers erupt. But for the most part, their main concern is trying to prove to the other they love their partner/best friend more.

Then there are those who absolutely can’t stand each other. The smiles sucked out of them as soon as one of them enters the room. The scowls and the irritated huffs. The possessiveness and the slight competition to try and prove their care for their partner/best friend. A constant fight to see who gets to one up the other. The literal thought of them sends goosebumps and that’s exactly where San finds himself to be. He tries, really he does. Especially when your pouty face begs him to get along with your best friend. He tries to bury the hatchet but it’s the little remarks, the constant instigating, always pinning him to look bad. “Huh.” She begins as once again she’s crashing into yours and his place. “What?” “I’m just wondering, for your anniversary. Didn’t you buy him a Rolex?” “Yeah? Why was that too much?” San hears your voice lower. The door to your bedroom open and just across from his gaming room. The small insecurity rises in your tone which only has him wanting to get off his chair and defend your present. He loves it, he’s never taken it off and never wasted a second to show it off to his best friends.

“No but I’d expected he at least try to do something as sophisticated as well. I mean what did he do again? Buy you a purse not even half the prize of the Rolex?”

You’ve got to be kidding me. San thinks.

Your friend is a hater. Simple as that, nothing he does is ever good enough for her. Either the jewels on the 5k necklace he bought you are too small. The dinner wasn’t all that, the chores he did aren’t too impressive. He knows he shouldn’t care what she thinks. Overall, it’s not like he’s seeking for her validation. No, he seeks yours which is why she bugs the hell out of him. Never not does she whisper crap into your ears. Plaguing you of the little things San could do better at.

The bubbly smile on his face immediately curls into a scowl the second he walks into your shared suite. Finding her with a glass of wine in hand for the umpteenth time. “Baby! You’re home!” He hears your angelic voice chirp. “About time.” He ignores the murmuring from her. Walking over to you, he glares daggers at your best friend before changing his expression. A soft loving gaze evident on his face the second he meets your. His white sleeves rolled up which made his muscles on his arms more prominent. Resting his hand on the table, a clear view to your best friend of the wedding band that rests on his finger. Using his other hand to curl a finger under your chin and pull you into a deep loving kiss. Suck on that. He feels smug, a slight smirk on his face as he continues to kiss your soft cherry flavored lips. Your giggling is what unfortunately has the two of you separating. A clear distaste on your best friends face but covers it before you notice.

“How was your day my love?” San asks, lifting your hand that bares the bright shiny Diamond ring that symbolizes his love for you. A soft kiss placed on top of it, Making sure the ring falls under the light in the kitchen, the sparkle reflecting itself in the eyes of your friend. Wincing as she has to blink back a clear view. “Great! We were just having a girls chat.” “Again?” Tilting her head, she settles the wine glass down. “Problem Choi?” “I don’t know, just seems you’ve been coming a lot more often than usual. Boyfriend dumped you again?”

“San!” He feels you smack his bicep but he doesn’t break eye contact from her. Biting the inside of her cheek, she scoffs. “Don’t you got an office to lock yourself in to get to?” “Don’t you got a bar to get drunk off your ass to get to?” “Alright enough! Both of you behave. Sannie go shower, the sweat makes you hot but the stink doesn’t. We’re about ready to finish up anyway.” Nodding , he presses a kiss on your forehead before walking off.

“Seriously y/n, I don’t know how you deal with it.” Snorting, you pick up the wine glasses and proceed to set them into the sink. “Him hun, not it.” “Yeah I’m not too sure. I mean he’s so…robotic.” Scrunching your brows you give her a puzzled look as you clean up the table. “Robotic? How so?” “Well I mean San is just always doing the same thing. Like he’s programmed to do and say the exact thing over and over again. Like when was the last time you two went out on a proper adventure together?” “Well he does have a job and I have my internship.” You shrug. “Exactly, what kind of a husband spends most of their time writing their lives off on work and not their social life? You know, marriage, wife, relationship? That is what comes with having said social life?” Shaking your head you chuckle. “He’s doing the best that he can. Just two nights ago he risked being late to a meeting just so he can bring me lunch.”

“All I’m saying is, once he gets into a habit of living the same routine over and over, he may get bored and start feeling rash.” “Rash?” “All men do that, first it’s ‘oh I love you, please marry me, be with me’ then as soon as they begin to feel just a little bit of stress and boredom, boom ten years of a relationship down the drain.” Widening your eyes, you freeze in your spot. “You’re not saying San is cheating?” “Of course not dear, because if he was. I would have killed him by now.” The worry begins to form on your face as she continues to ramble on. “Tell me, when was the last time you two had sex?” Taken aback by the question you feel your cheeks begin to grow hot. “I-uh…um-wow okay, I don’t…I don’t know.” “My point exactly.”

“So what exactly is wrong? Is San getting bored of me? Is he seeing someone? Oh my god, there’s someone else right?!-“ “Shh! Relax, from what I know nothing. All I’m saying is San is getting a bit, blah.” “Blah?” “Yeah, and given he’s not being so caring like a caring husband should be. I think you should start caring for yourself.” “But, I am. I mean I do get manicures when I can and go to a spa every once and a while. I just got a facial just last week-“ Interrupted by her laugh, you watch her stand up and begin to reach for her purse. “Oh my poor y/n, that’s not what I was referring to.” “No?” You raise a brow at her. “If San isn’t doing a fine job satisfying you, then you should be finding yourself a distraction. A toy per say.”

Completely taken by surprise, you don’t get to ask any further questions as she had already made her way out the door. You never expected to have such a conversation, in fact you don’t really understand why you had. San isn’t blah? At least not to you. Yeah it sucks that with his job, you only see him in the mornings briefly as he gets ready, a kiss to your lips as he leaves for work. A text here and there and then by night, he’s home for a shower, a dinner and then bed. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss the random late night talks, the 3 am errands to the grocery store and the trips across towns. Even more, the sex. You two haven’t slept with each other in a while and when you did, it was brief and lazy. Both too tired for anything rowdy. “Babe?” You hear San call out for you. “Coming!” Your best friend didn’t know what she was talking about. San isn’t blah, your marriage is perfect and no way do you need a toy to satisfy you.

If San didn’t like your best friend then, now he despises her.

“What the hell is this?” San glares at the device in its package. A smirk on the damn woman’s face as she sits on your couch. A shy smile on your face, cheeks a rosy tint of red as you look at him. “Just thought to change things up?” “What do you mean baby?” Setting his suit case down, he cups your face. He knows you didn’t come up with this idea. No way you woke up one day and decided to buy yourself a dildo on a random Tuesday night. “What did she say now?”He adds a harsh tone to she, not a single glance over to her as he keeps his focus on you. “She did your wife a favor.” She spoke up, standing she walks over and picks up the box. “Made sure she got it extra large, you know just to make sure it’ll do a better job.” Smirking she grabs her jacket and gives you a goodbye hug. “What the hell is that suppose to mean?” His question going unanswered as you begin to walk your friend out.

As soon as the door closed, he’s about ready to bombard you with questions but is stopped when you wrap your arms around him. “I know works been a pain, it’s why I got it. Don’t want to bother you, now I’m situated.” Sending him a smile, you grab the box and head on over to your bedroom. At loss for words, San stands their bewildered. What the hell happened?

“I can’t fucking stand her.” San slams the shot glass on the table. An amused look on Yeosang and Wooyoung as they watch their favorite continuously chug down shot after shot. “San, this woman has been driving you nuts. Why can’t you just tell y/n how much she bothers you.” Wooyoung takes the bottle away from his grip. Shaking his head, he runs a frustrated hand through his hair. “They’ve been best friends since first grade, I could never tell her how much I despise her. It’ll crush her.” “Well it’s not like you’ve been keeping your hatred for her a secret.” Yeosang shrugs. “And worst of all, she had her buy a sex toy.”

“Sex toy huh? Getting kinky is she?” Wooyoung grins. “She got it so I wouldn’t have to have sex with her.” “What?” “She didn’t want to bother me, so instead of focusing on fucking me, she’ll be using that damn vibrator.” Snorting, Wooyoung can’t help but chuckle. “Never thought to live the day in which Choi San would have to be competing with a vibrator over his wife.” “Shut up Wooyoung.” He rolls his eyes, okay so maybe he’s jealous. Why wouldn’t he be? He misses you, it’s no secret the man craves sex. But he’s been holding back because he thought you weren’t up for it. Your internship has been so demanding of you. Every day he notices your nails getting shorter and shorter by how much you bite them. Legs bouncing much more rapid by how easily the stress builds in you. The eye bags only growing and all he wishes is to draw you a nice bath and fuck the stress out of you.

But he holds back, in case you weren’t up for it. He respects your wishes, and he wouldn’t dare to ever do anything you were uncomfortable with. But ever since the spawn of satan introduced you into the worlds of sex toys it’s like he no longer exists. He’s not one to oppose sex toys if it means he’s getting in on the action but this, no this was a sex repellent on him. Worse when your best friend constantly smirks victoriously at him. “It works wonders.” He hears you say one night over the phone. In the drawer, he opens and sees there it lies. Scoffing, he grabs it and tosses it on the bed. Walking over to where you sat, he picks you up abruptly. “San!” Tossing you on the bed, he rips the phone out of your grasp.

“Hang up or listen, either way I’m about to fuck my wife.” He tells your best friend as he throws the phone on the pillow before pulling your legs closer to him. “Sannie?” Jaw clenched, he rips your pajama shorts off you along with your panties. Spreading your legs as he settles in between them. “Don’t need a fucking dildo to be satisfied.” A gasp rips out of you as he takes a long lick up your cunt. “Can that toy of yours do this to you?” Hands gripping your thighs back as he begins to eat you out. Spitting and licking figure eights on your clit. Bringing two fingers up to your mouth, you oblige and take them into your mouth. He feels rumbling as you moan on his fingers. Soft doe eyes vanished and instead replaced with lust and hunger. San seems almost animalistic as he sucks, your essence only building the longer he eats you. Removing his fingers, he watches as a strip of salive fall out of your mouth. Not wasting a second in shoving them in. “San!” Throwing your head back, forcing yourself to keep wide for him. “That dildo can never be as good as me. Look how caring I am? Always making sure my princess gets nothing but mind blowing orgasms. Can it lick your pretty pussy lips like I do huh? Can it play with your clit until you shake with ecstasy?”

Whining, your hands go down to grip on his hair. A loud slap is heard as he looks at you sternly. “Answer me princess.” “No Sannie! It can’t! Fuck I’m close!” Picking up in speed, he fucks you with his fingers. Loving the view of you squirming, chest rising as your stomach clenched each time his fingers hit a particular spot. Lowering his tongue back on your pussy, as if it was his last meal. He doesn’t stop even after he brought you to a toe curling climax. “Baby!” You try to push his face but you don’t budge. Instead he pins your legs down and continue to suck. Squelching noises are echoed throughout the room along with your moans. Getting louder and louder you’re glad no one else lives on the same floor as you two. The large view of the city shown out of your window. Anyone can see at any second and it only turned you on more. You’d love for someone to see how well your man knows how to pleasure you. To see how lucky you are to have found such a gem. San wasn’t bothered, if anything the only thing bothering him is that damn vibrator. It’s lying there right by you. Almost mocking him given it’s had a few rounds with his wife. So as he detached himself from your cunt, he flips you over.

“Look at it,” Tilting your head to look at the device, he pushes your upper body down on the bed. Face right next to it. “If you think for a fucking second this damn thing can bring you pleasure then you’re fucking wrong. Only I can.” He felt pathetic, just how bothered this object made him feel. But he had to make a statement, he needed for you to know you didn’t need any object to bring your pleasure. You have him, he’s yours to love, to play with, to fuck. He’s your personal fuck toy so why the fuck did you let your stupid fucking friend talk you into buying it? “Fuck!” Your eyes roll back as he shoves his dick inside you. Hands gripping your waist as he begins to plunge into you. The creaking of the bed increases in volume the harder he fucks you on the bed. Not letting you move an inch from him. “So sensitive!” You whine as you grip the sheets.

“Take it, be a good girl and take my cock.” He huffs, strands of hair beginning to fall on his face as he focuses on making you come as many times as possible. Looking down and seeing the connection between you two. How your essence glimmered his cock, it’s own personal lube. Never do you need much preparation, always ready to take him anytime and anywhere. “God I missed this cunt.” He grunts as he thrusts harder into you. “Missed your cock!” You breathe out. Leaning down, he grips your face and smashes his lips on yours. Forcing his tongue in as he keeps thrusting without relenting.

It’s crazy just how much stamina the man had. Maybe it was the lack of sex for the last few weeks. Maybe it’s the hatred for your best friend constantly meddling in your marriage or the jealousy over the toy. Hell, maybe it’s all three. It’s why no matter how much his body begs to release, he refuses and holds it in. Orgasm after orgasm and he still doesn’t detach himself from you. Tears running, hair disheveled, lips bruises and titties covered in hickies, sheets drenched as you lie on the bed pretty and fucked out for him. “Sannie no more!” You hiccup, had just squirted all over him. Pulling away, he turns the both of you around. “One more princess. Don’t you wanna help your husband come? Mhm?” Wiping the tears off your face, you nod and climb on top of him. “Good, now sit.” The both of you moan at the intrusion again. Beginning to feel your head get fuzzy, San holds you up. “Don’t fall asleep baby, so close.”

“Yes Sannie.” Setting a pace before bouncing yourself up and down on him, the claps louder than ever. Swear on both of your foreheads as his biceps flex his muscles the tighter he holds you. Helping you bounce on him, slapping your ass to encourage you to go faster. “Just like that, fuuuck.” Throwing back his head when you begin to squeeze him. Warm walls engulfing all of him, “Shit! Keep doing that and I might fuck a baby in you.” He grunts, noticing your movements suddenly got faster. You squeezed him again as a loud whine came from you. “Oh? I see.” Wrapping his arms around you, he pulls you down to rest on top of his chest. “It’s what you want don’t you?” Stopping momentarily and then a louder moan emits from your mouth when he proceeds to fuck deep and slow in you. “Tell me, want me to get you pregnant huh?”

Mouth wide open but no words come out as the feeling his cock raw and throbbing in you is all your head can process. “Want me to make you a mama? Get your belly all round and big for me yeah?” Nodding vigorously, you cup his face. “Please San! God I want it all!” You plead him. “M’gonna give you all my babies. M’yours y/n, not that fucking device. Need someone to fuck you, come to me. Hell, come to my office and I’ll gladly fuck you stupid right in front of everyone.” Quickening his thrusts, you hold him tightly as you feel yourself begin to shake.

“Fuck I’m coming!” San grunts as he sucks on your neck. Hitting your g spot, the both of you come on the spot. Loud mewls from the both of you, heavy breathing and hearts racing. You were currently fighting to stay awake but San’s warm body made it impossible. Too fucked out to care about anything else. Caressing your hair, he lulls you to sleep. Grabbing your phone and noticing the call hadn’t ended at all and that your very sad pathetic friend had heard it all.

Typical.

“Sorry, y/n will no longer be having depressing wine drinking sessions anymore. She’ll be too busy carrying my children.”

And like that, he hangs up on her.

That’ll teach her to fuck with him.

[gummygowon]

forest green | choi san

word count: 1k

request: forest green + angst (pls with happy ending i cant take sadness 😥💔)/opposites attract + san <3 !! thank u !

warnings: a few losers being mean to sannie

a/n: hi love thank you so much for requesting i'm so sorry this im posting this so late but i really had sm fun with this one i hope you enjoy!

"no shot y/n." your best friend soojin whispers to you as you guys walk out onto the court before the game starts.

"what?" you whisper back, trying to keep the cheerful smile on your face as you wave your forest green pom poms in the air at the crowd.

"you like choi san don't you?"

"what?" you pause, whipping your head to look at soojin.

"be so for real y/n, i can see you looking for his nerdy ass in the crowd right now."

"i am not!" you argue, turning your back to the crowd as the basketball team makes their way onto the court.

"y/n, you have the entire school at your finger tips and you choose choi san? nerdy ass choi san who spends his time in the library every friday night."

"and? i don't mind." you sheepishly answer staring down at your poms as san's cute dimple smile infiltrated your mind.

"my god, y/n, you have the kim mingyu wrapped around your finger and you want san?!?"

"at least san has a brain and isn't a jerk."

"so? he's hot that basically covers everything." soojin defends as you guys walk to the sidelines.

"for you it does." you huff, smoothing out your skirt as you get in your spot that was on the corner of the court. it gave you the perfect view of san who was wearing a forest green sweater to represent your school's colors. he was sitting at the very top of the bleachers looking lost as soon as the game started. a small smile appeared on your face as watch san's eyebrows furrow in confusion trying to understand what was happening in front of him. eventually, his eyes trailed down to the cheerleader section where you were. you caught his gaze and gave him a small wave which he returned with a shy smile.

the crowd erupts in cheers as hongjoong scores the first basket of the game meaning your little moment with san was rudely ended. the game however goes on well as your team absolutely destroys your opponent. cheers erupted the gym as the students shouted in celebration. as one of the cheer leaders you follow your team to the court to make a tunnel for the team as they head back to the locker room.

once they leave, your coach gives out her post game speech and then lets you guys go. to your surprise, you see san waiting outside the gym trying to make himself look busy.

"hey," you softly say bumping his shoulder with yours causing him to jump. "do you need help finding the exit or?"

"no," san scoffs bumping his shoulder into you as revenge, "just thought i should say you did great out there."

a shy smile makes its way to your face as your heart beats against your chest. "thank yo-"

"y/n!" mingyu emerges from god knows where, throwing his arm over you forcing you and san to separate. "you comin' to my house later? my parents are gone and i'm throwing a huge party for tonight's win!"

"oh, i-" you peer over mingyu's large frame to see san looking dejectedly at the floor.

"you're going!" yuqi shouts from behind, another one of your teammates.

you didn't even get a chance to say goodbye as mingyu and his teammates along with yours push you to the parking lot.

"why are you even hanging out with san? isn't he a total loser?" someone asks from behind you.

"yeah, plus he's a total sqaure!"

"little man probably hasn't felt the touch of a woman since his mother changed his diaper!"

"excuse me?" you say utterly in shock that your so called friends are just outwardly saying shit about someone.

before anyone even had a chance to say anything san pushes his way through the crowd angrily.

"san, wait!" you say trying to catch up to him only to have mingyu tug at your wrist.

"leave him be y/n. kid's a loser anyways."

"he is not!" you argue, ripping your arm away from him. "just fuck off and go have your stupid party!"

you made a beeline to your car and drove to the one place you knew san would be at a time like this. the park where the playground was a mix of ugly beige and forest green and where the park overlooked your little hometown. san liked it because it made him like he was on top of the world even if he was treated like shit.

thankfully, san's beat up toyota corolla was parked in front of the playground.

"thought i might find you here." you say in a quiet tone, wrapping your hands around self because of course you forgot your lettermen at home.

san didn't even turn to look at you as he swung slowly on the creaky swing set. "aren't you supposed to be at some party?"

"yeah, but i didn't feel like going." you answer sitting next to san on the other swing.

"so you decided to hang out with a loser on a good friday night?" he sarcastically asks.

"san-"

"why do you even wanna be around me? midterms are over so you don't have to be around me for awhile." san spits, still not even daring to look up at you. "you know, i thought that maybe there would be a chance you actually like me."

your heart cracked at every word that was coming out his mouth. "san, i do. a lot. trust me."

"no you don't." his knuckles turning white because of how hard he was gripping the chains on the swing. "not in the way i do."

still san was refusing to look up at you until you take a hand and place it softly on his cheek. san jumps at your sudden touch before slowly raising his eyes to meet yours.

"i like you sannie." you confess, heart racing a hundred miles per hour. "i don't care what people or even you say about yourself. i like the way your dimples pop out when you smile. i like the way you never get frustrated with him when you're teaching me. i like the way you remember the little things about everyone. i like you, choi san."

"i-are you sure?" he asks to stunned to even respond to your confession.

you nod your head, giggling at the way san was staring at you in shock.

"can i kiss you?"

"of course, sannie." you answer before smiling to the warm kiss.

[hwaslayer]

crimson (cs) | one shot teaser.

—summary: life has always revolved around the club, the money, the clients— that is, until a first-time experience changes everything for san, for you; causing lines to be blurred, boundaries that are crossed. he didn’t think he’d get wrapped around your finger, falling deep into your spell. after all, he did become your number one client.

—pairing: choi san x stripper!reader

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, nightclub au | smut, angst

—general warnings: protected/unprotected sex, cussing/mature language, nightclub/stripper club scene, lap dances, pole dancing, alcohol consumption, intoxication, more detailed warnings will be listed on release.

—release: DEC 30 @ 7:30 pm PT; find full fic here

—on rotation: agora hills - doja cat | anywhere - 112 | all night long - thuy & lil kev | IT's you - wooyoung, san & yeosang

“You know my name?” He says, hands comfortably coming up your body, giving your breasts a squeeze. His hand runs up your neck, to your jaw— gently forcing you to keep eye contact with him as you continue to dance on him. He’s entranced by you that he doesn’t really know what else to say, or how to react. But god, do you feel amazing on him. That body, too? Heavenly.

“Your friends have been yelling it all night.” You stand and straddle him in the opposite direction, legs wrapped around his torso as you lean forward and bounce on his dick a little more. San can’t help but run his hands down your ass, giving it a good squeeze before you come back up and pry yourself off of him to head to the pole in front of him.

“Fair enough. What’s your name then, beautiful?” You look at him, ignoring the question at first. But, San feels a little different than your usual customers, feels a bit more personal even though you don’t know anything about him nor does he know anything about you. It’s the way that he looks at you, focused on your face, your every move. It’s the way that it’s a room full of dancers and he’s stuck on you. Most men are in the club to fill a void; seeking for quick satisfaction, something that’ll eventually blow over until the next visit. But, it’s nothing more than that. You are nothing more than a dancer, nothing more than a face on stage— someone who collects their bills and runs.

But to San, you feel different.

Before you look into him too deeply, you quickly snap out of it and begin to twirl around the pole, doing your usual routine when you’re in the VIP booth. You fall into a split, hand coming down from the pole, down to your body.

San follows.

“My name?” You repeat, and San nods.

“Is that not a normal question here?”

“No one ever gives out their real names here.” You chuckle.

“Then, what’s your stage name?” Time passes when you’re dancing. Usually, you give them 30 mins tops, 45 mins if they keep sending big bills your way. But, you never try to spend more than that with the same person. Not in this community. With the hundreds San’s friend handed you, you would’ve stopped at 15 minutes if this were anyone else.

You’re closing in 20– probably will be 30 when you blink— but you don’t really wanna stop giving San this attention. He’s attractive, fitting his button-up and slacks in all the right places. He has black short hair, a few strands draping over his forehead, a pretty Rolex sitting on his wrist. You think he could handle you if you gave him the chance, and the thought is enough to make your brain short-circuit.

“Crimson.” He smirks, running his finger across his bottom lip while he continues to watch you bounce your ass on the stage. He thinks you’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever laid eyes on— the bodysuit doing your body wonders as it makes his mind wander to the unknown.

To what you would look like naked, to have you underneath him, to have you calling his name.

He’s been glued to you from the start and he’s not sure what kind of spell you have him under, but he wants more.

[atinysunbaby]

Smut peek → Special love day

Warnings : Smut, oral (reader receiving), dry humping, slight public sex, overstimulation, cursing.

Words : 1.8k

Note : This is one of the two smut parts. I wanted to give you a little something today, so here it is :))

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Moving in unison, drawn together by an irresistible force, you bridge the gap between you with an insatiable hunger for closeness. And when San, with a hint of uncertainty, questions once more about your enjoyment of the dance dedicated in your honor, you answer not with words, but with a heartfelt kiss, a silent affirmation of the heat coursing between you.

Your lips firmly latch onto his, sucking at his plump, wet bottom lip before the urge to bite the skin overcomes you, the action causing San to gasp needily. He leans down further to reach your height, only so you can easily get a good grip at his silky black hair and tug as you please, moaning in your open mouth desperately as you chuckle against his lips in return. "Mhmm Y/N~"

Your other hand comes up sneakily, nails scratching along the soft skin of his veiny and muscular arm. Goosebumps rise over the bare surface, aware of your intentions, but still closing his eyes in pleasure when your fingers wrap around his neck and squeezes, cutting his aware deliciously. His knees buckle uncontrollably, your touch weakening him more with each passing second. "Touch me, Sanie please."

He obeys, shaky hands settling on your hips with a newfound dominant grip. He licks your lips through the kiss, forcing your mouth open and thrusting his smooth tongue into you without warning. You both pant, breathless, and San diverts his lips to your jaw, giving you the opportunity to breathe in properly before he can go back to tasting your mouth.

You gasp in surprise when his fingers unexpectedly knead the fat of your ass, squeezing expertly. He then puts his strength to great use and proceeds to lift one of your legs up to his waist, pulling you even closer. You can feel the length of his big hard dick, straining painfully against the material of his tight sport pants and poking at your clit heavenly.

As his lips find yours in a heated kiss once again, he now grinds against your clothed pussy in the best way he can, but quickly, he grows frustrated when deeming the friction to be too light.

In a brisk and unexpected movement, he hoists you up by your juicy thighs and wraps your legs around his waist in a hurry. He leaves you no time to comprehend the situation and trusts up against your core with new vigor, the pressure building up in both of your stomachs, your moans gradually growing louder. "Oh fuck.. San!"

"I know baby, want my dick inside you so bad right? Want your tight pussy around my- feels.. so good, holy fuck.." San bucks his flexible dancer's hips up while pulling you against his cock faster, the thought of your pussy wrapping around his dick deliciously tight, acting as a new motivation to attain his high, the intense movements create an even greater friction and he grows closer to his release with every thrust. "Cum for me, m-my love. I'm so close!"

You feel like you're on fire, hole burning with the need to be filled, pathetically clenching around nothing and you whine at the emptiness. Hearing the sound, San growls in your ear and you feel your orgasm approaching. "I'm cum- San I'm cumming!"

Your eyes roll to the back of your skull, mouth hanging open in a silent scream as the intense pleasure runs through your veins, head falling back. He rubs himself against your whole pussy, pressing tightly onto your clit until you come down from your orgasm. And then slows down gradually and eventually stills as you weakly whine that you're too sensitive, but it doesn't stop there, needing to finish himself.

He takes you to the couch, laying you down and pressing a hungry kiss to your parted lips, before getting on his knees between your legs on the bouncy furniture. San looks you over, analyzing every detail about your erotic state. Like how your lips are wet with spit, panting from the physical effort, eyes half closed from slight exhaustion, ecstasy and the way you watch out for his next move with a gaze full of desire, acts like fuel to the fire in the pit of his stomach. His already hard, sensitive and leaking dick twitches in the confinement of his clothes, resulting in pulling a frustrated groan out of him.

"You look so pretty for me." He strokes your calves lovingly, fingers wandering up to graze your fleshy thighs softly and then directs them to your inner thighs, aiming to excite you further after your first orgasm. "More please.."

"You're such a good girl, asking so nicely." He rewards you by pushing his slender fingers over your clit, working them in a circular motion with just the right pressure and you hum shakily, biting your lips to keep yourself from making louder noises. You're still sensitive from earlier and your thighs tremble from the overwhelming pleasure, back arching as San fastens the pace on your bud. "It's too much!"

"You asked for it babe, you can take it~" He smirks, eyes glossy with desire and his stomach clenches at the pornographic sight. Your hands are gripping at the couch desperately, moans growing louder as another wave of pleasure closes in on you. "No.. Inside.. Need you inside me!"

He groans, contemplating his options ; he's scared you'll get caught, the not so intimate setting being the only thing that stops him. But his rationality is thrown out the window when you grab at his veiny arm with your smaller hands, pleading for him to fuck you raw. "Oh fuck, don't do this to me."

He quickly reaches for the waistband of your pants and pulls them off at once with your panties, leaving you half bared for his wandering eyes and the sight of your leaking arousal, triggers his hips to automatically fuck the air. "Shit! Look what you're doing to me."

He gestures for you to look down at his lower body and you clench your thighs after seeing the hottest image, biting back the whine that so desperately wants to escape your throat. The front of San's previously grey pants, is now covered in both your slick and the never ending amount of precum coming out of his straining dick, turning the material to a darker shade. "That's so hot."

You're about to wrap your arms around his shoulders to pull him down over your body and give him a good position to enter your drenched cunt, but he stops you. "Wait! I have a better idea."

Carefully, he positions himself over your sensitive core, strong arms wrapping around each of your thighs, before reaching back to place your legs over his shoulders, the action causing you to gasp in anticipation. You shiver at the way San looks at you, butterflies erupting in your stomach at the thought of your skilled boyfriend eating you out.

You hurriedly feel around for something to hold onto, needing the comfort of something squishy and warm, knowing how wild your lover becomes when he gets a taste of your pussy. Your fingers brush against the fabric of what you soon find out to be San's hoodie and you quickly tug the garment over your upper body, inhaling the calming scent of his addicting perfume.

"Ready?" He asks with a sultry voice, and you hold on for dear life as he teases you. Blowing onto your warm, drenched cunt, leaving wet kisses on your inner thighs and sucking, biting at the skin until you cry out. "Sannie!"

"Oops sorry." He chuckles, before giving soft kitten licks to your swollen clit, gradually lowering his tongue to lap at your wet folds and tasting the sweet slick pouring out of your hole. You moan loudly in response, shaking and throwing your head back in pleasure.

San rapidly slips away, becoming pussy drunk and eating you out vigorously. Although it was agonizingly slow when he started and you grew frustrated, you now wish he would slow down, your orgasm building up too fast, leaving you no time to prepare as the intense pleasure consumes you.

San doesn't pause, suckling on your clit harshly while he enters two fingers inside your hole, thrusting them at a slow pace compared to the movement of his mouth. You let out a relieved sigh as you're finally filled, your previous high quickly forgotten as another already nears.

"Baby, I can't get enough of your taste.." He shoves his tongue in your hole after the confession, switching the roles of his fingers as well, rubbing your bud with his thumb and opting to give open mouthed kisses all over your core, never once pulling away, not even to take a breath.

"Oh.. I can't- San!" Tears escape your eyes, the feeling so intense that you cum with a loud cry and almost convulse from the never ending wave of pleasure hitting you, because he doesn't stop and you quickly reach your fourth orgasm.

You think you might have passed out for a few minutes after the sixth orgasm, during which time San cleaned you up with a towel he managed to find in his bag, soaking it in lukewarm water. He also made sure to dress you up, covering your shivering body with the blanket that was on the computer chair not far away.

When you regain consciousness, San coos at you and apologizes for so eagerly eating your pussy. He makes sure you're alright, looking you over and stroking your hair when you reassure him that nothing's wrong. "I'm glad beautiful, it wasn't in my intention to overstimulate you into unconsciousness."

"It's embarrassing though!" You reply with a pout, confusing your boyfriend and causing a frown to appear on his beautiful face. "What do you mean?"

"We didn't even go all the way. I mean- what if you would've fucked me?" San explodes in laughter, in no way mocking you, but your words cause a realisation to dawn on him. "I think, if I did. I might have had a funeral to arrange."

"Sannie!" You whine, slapping his bicep from the embarrassingly close truth, but your playful fight is immediately cut short as you remember something. "Wait! Did you even cum?"

You prepare to ask him if he needs your help now, absolutely down to please your insanely attractive boyfriend, but he admits that he came when you orgasmed the third time. He shyly avoids your persistent gaze, ears and cheeks burning with shame. "San you can tell me."

San was uncontrollably humping the cushion that was under his hips during the intercourse and when he realised his own action, the sudden rush of pleasure and excitement led him to reach under his body. He untied his pants and lowered them just enough to uncover his dick, thrusting against the soft and fluffy material, his bare tip, red and sensitive, made the feeling even more intense. And like an animal in heat, he humped the cushion until he came, pretty hard. It left a stain on the object and he had to throw it in the garbage, but it was worth it.

Feel free to leave a comment or tell me if you want to be added to the taglist. I hope you liked it, thank you for reading 🙏❤️

Taglist : @t3kandson @hwadess

[thatsatricky1]

𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝖓𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙 𝖘𝖍𝖎𝖋𝖙

Pairing: Criminal Choi San x Nurse (afab) Reader.

Genre: Thriller, Crime, Romace

Warnings: Hospitals, slight gore, wounds, gun shot wound mentioned, blood mentioned, gun mentioned, criminal activities, bank heist.

Disclaimers: This is a work of fiction and does not accurately describe San, again this is fiction for entertainment purposes. Also I wrote this at an ungodly hour at night so please excuse if there are any grammar or misspellings (English is not my first language) I will go back to re-edit any mistakes later after I get some sleep.

Word count: 3,4k+

“I still remember you full of youth, wide eyed, holding a water bottle in one hand and a fall risk document in the other.”

“Ah yes when I was a resident still full of hope.” Y/n commented back not looking up from the computer where she was typing up a quick patient report. An already empty coffee cup in the trash can next to the desk and a freshly opened 500ml energy drink laid next to the computer keyboard.

“Now you’re just like the rest of us.” Chan spoke again with a small lopsided smile leaning against the desk, arms crossed figure still clothed in his lab coat.

“Chan, I love you but your shift ended an hour ago, leave before you get stuck here.” Y/n shut down Chan’s small talk.

“Couldn't I say the same for you?”

“No, understaffed as per usual meaning I’m doing a double shift.” Y/n answered back to Chan’s retort causing him to stand up straight.

“You are taking another double shift? You know you can say no sometimes.” Chan frowned watching her still typing up the last few sentences of her report on a new income patient.

“I’d love to but Yeji and Rose are both on holiday, Momo is on leave since she’s in her third trimester, Mark is sick, so is Yoona, Hani, Suzi and Doyoung. Oh and Irene got moved to ward F4.” Y/n listed off with her finger spinning in her chair to face Chan now.

“Felix?” Chan asked out stubbornly.

“He did the last double shift, late and night shift.” Y/n shot back.

Chan sighs moving to rub his eyes letting out a groan not liking how his ward was always understaffed but most ward were, that’s how it was. He was always asking the hospital to hire more nurses, it looked like even him, the head doctor couldn’t change their stingy ways.

Hospital staff worked as a team. Doctors, nurses, emt’s, cleaners, chefs, receptionists, therapists, interns, residents, technicians, all staff were a team together. If just one was missing, the hospital wouldn’t work.

“I’m going to try again at the next board meeting to get them to reconsider adding extra staff.” Chan mentions while Y/n gets out of her seat standing in front of him.

“Of course you will, you do every time Dr. Bang, but how about for now you go to bed, can’t have a sleep deprived doctor working on my patients.” Y/n teased a cheeky smile gracing her lips but eyes were evidently tired as she patted his chest.

“Alright, alright nurse Y/n. I’m on call though, so if anything happens it’s my number you need to call during Night Shift Alright?” Chan conceded one arm raised in mock surrender while the other patted her hand that laid on his chest.

“Good, sleep well Chan.” Y/n replied letting her hand slip away from being sandwiched between Chan’s chest and hand. No doubt already making up her mind to not bother on calling Chan as she was a pro in emergencies.

Y/n moving away over to the medication area opening the cabinets while flipping open the iPad going onto her patients medical plans to start preparing their medication before they’d be going to sleep.

Chan watched silently as Y/n moved with muscle memory reaching for different medications she knew like the back of her hand placing them in one use containers.

“Sleep well too Y/n after your shift ends.” Chan quietly spoke out in the room but loud enough to hear as she hummed out in response.

With one more reluctant look at leaving her alone for the Night Shift, Chan grabbed his things leaving the nursing room. Y/n hearing his footsteps faintly leave down the hallway.

Y/n taking in a deep breath, blinking away the heavy feeling in her eyelids. Hands moving nimbly as usually putting another 400mg pain tablet into a container.

It had hit 3 a.m. Y/n having just finished another round through her patients rooms making her way back towards the nursing room pocketing her low light torch and quickly checking the time on her pocket watch, a puff of air releasing from her mouth realising she still had four more hours till change over.

Unlocking the nursing room and pushing it open with her hip letting the door stay all the way open as she moved to grab her nearly finished energy drink. Moving it up to her lips only to pause hearing the night shift phone start ringing.

Only letting her eyes flutter shut for a moment of annoyance that coursed through her tired body knowing fully well she shouldn’t have hoped for a peaceful night. Yet even when placing the drink down in favour to grab the phone still holding on to a string of hope it was just Irene who was on night shift on F4 wanting to call to pass time and gossip about her new work colleagues.

With a click of a button she pressed the phone to her ear calling out her wards name, F2 and her name.

“Hey Y/n it’s Eunwoo, Irene is gonna look after F2 and F4 for a while. I need you down here for some extra help. Sorry sweetheart.” Eunwoo’s voice muffled out of the old desperately in need of updating, hospital night shift phone.

Just like that Y/n’s peace was broken, but she didn’t dwell on it and instead nodded to herself gripping the phone tighter as she stuffed her pocket with gloves, a Sutures scissors and hand bottle of disinfectant.

“Alright Eunwoo I’m on my way down to the Emergency ward, keep tight I’ll be three minutes max.” Y/n replied not waiting for his response as she ended the call already moving out of the nursing office, locking it behind her before rushing as quietly as she could down the hallway, taking the stairs instead of the elevator.

Making it in under two minutes gloves on and ready. Swiftly making her way down the hallway, Eunwoo joined her halfway.

“What happened, Eunwoo?” Y/n asked straight to the point, turning her head to cast her gaze on her friend.

“Good morning to you too sweetheart, three guys came in severely wounded, one shot, the other two pretty scratched up. They won’t talk about it. My guess is some gang robbery on the trio went wrong and they're traumatised or still in shock from it.” Eunwoo informed, somehow slipping a joke in as well.

“And I’m here, why then?”

“Because my dear Y/n I have my hands full with critically injured patients and there is one guy left from the three that needs to be patched up.” Eunwoo finally explained.

“Eunwoo-” Y/n started to go on her rant but was cut off by Eunwoo who stopped them grabbing her blue medical gloved hands in his own matching pair.

“Y/n I wouldn’t ask you to come down without a reason, I’m on my second double shift in a row, I have four burn victims I constantly have to attend to until space frees up in the critical ward. We used to work in the emergency ward together so I knew you’d get it.” Eunwoo spoke this time seriously, squeezing Y/n’s hands gently.

Y/n gazed into Eunwoo’s eyes for a few seconds before softening her gaze, nodding understanding him. Eunwoo’s eyes brightened knowing he could count on her pulling her into a tight hug.

“He’s in room 4, thank you Y/n you are a lifesaver. I owe you one.” Eunwoo thanked her, taking his leave to rush back to room 6.

“Yeah, I know.” She muttered to herself, hands on her hips before looking over to room 4.

“I’m fine, like I said before you can attend to my friends first.” A smooth yet somehow gruff voice called out in the dim room.

“Well that’s an interesting introduction. And for your peace of mind, your friends have already been attended to.” Y/n spoke from the doorway leaning against it.

“You’re not that guy.” The male blurted out observing Y/n.

“Very observant. No I’m not, but you’re my patient now, so let’s have a look at what I’m working with.” Y/n clearly amused as she stepped properly into the room now, picking up the new patients chart.

Having to keep a poker face noticing Eunwoo’s chicken scratch handwriting with barely any information. Male, looks to be mid twenties, might have a cut on his right forearm and some scratches to the face. Not a lot to work off of.

Placing the chart down Y/n looked over at the guy taking in his appearance. He was quite attractive, that is something she couldn’t deny. Recently freshly bleached hair, black combat boots, plain black pants, an olive green hoodie paired with a questionable leather combat vest, that she hoped was just an odd choice of street fashion wear. One of his hands gloved with a chain attached to it, the other hand was covered in wrist bands.

“Are they really fine?” The guy asked, watching as Y/n grabbed supplies bring them over to the bed he was sitting on, legs placed on the floor in habit in case he needed to make a break for it.

“Eunwoo has magic hands, you’re friends are most definitely more than fine.” She reassured him.

“But you on the other hand, need to get patched up now.” Y/n pointed out hand gesturing towards his bloodied sleeve.

“It’s not mine.” San explained, the blood having soaked into his sleeve of his hoodie earlier.

Y/n held back from raising her eyebrow shaking her head pointing out “I’m going to assume you got blood on your sleeve from your friends gun shot wound.”

“Yeah something like that.” He nods.

“Alright so, I still need to patch up your face. Make sure those wounds don’t leave any nasty scars.” She spoke while preparing everything all while he watched curiosity clear in his eyes.

San could clearly tell the young nurse was tired, then again it was always said that nurses are overworked so he shouldn’t be surprised, it was also 3 something a.m.

“I’m Y/n F/n, but you can call me Y/n.” Y/n introduced herself before gesturing at her equipment asking permission silently to start. San giving a single not for the go ahead.

Y/n moved to start cleaning up the scratch that was clean along the bridge of his nose, it would leave a faint scar from the depth but with her skillful hands it wouldn’t be as noticeable. Being this up close to him made her realise he had an eyebrow piercing, something Y/n was a sucker for. But she was also professional.

“San.”

“No last name?” She hummed out eyebrows scrunching the slightest bit in focus, a detail San couldn’t help but burn into his memory gaze never leaving her face.

“Just San.” He replied back waiting to be further interrogated but was pleasantly surprised by Y/n not asking further questions on him. Yet for some reason also hoped she’d dig further.

“So do you always come waltzing through the emergency entrance with sounds wearing a leather vest or is this something you’re just scratching off your bucket list?” Y/n tried making small talk, wanting his attention off her face, noticing his intense stare.

“We got robbed, not something I put on my bucket list, don’t have one to begin with.” San replied with a small smirk placed against his lips at her words. The lies slipped off his tongue easily as it was a thing he did often.

“Mm, Eunwoo did say something about a robbery. At least you have a new conversation started to use on people.” Y/n offered up a barely good thing to come out of the situation that happened to him and his friends.

“You look tired.” San blurted out wanting to change the topic off of his friends and situation since he didn’t want to slip up on it and talk further on it as when Mingi, Wooyoung and he had gone to the hospital the furthest they’d made up on their alibi was getting robbed and none of the three would say more in case they gave different stories.

“Once again a great observation San, I’m on a double shift. I had a late shift. Now I’m on night shift due to our wonderfully understaffed hospital like every other hospital.” Y/n replied to him wondering if she looked like a mess for him to be pointing out she looked tired.

“Fuck. Sounds like it happens a lot.” San muttered out holding back a wince as she cleaned over a cut on his cheekbone, being used to the pain but that didn’t mean he was immune to it.

“It does.” Y/n hummed out before saying with an amused grin “Do I look that bad?”

“No, just because you look tired doesn’t mean you look bad. You look good.” San responded just as fast, eyes never falling from her face unlike how her hand faltered from where it was attending to his cheekbone.

“… Well you should see me with at least eight hours of sleep and in clothes that aren’t my scrubs.” Y/n teased out having to take a second, surprised by the sudden comment he made.

“Don’t tempt me, you know I’d want to see that.” San spoke out confidently, his pierced eyebrow raising. Only to wince at Y/n ‘accidentally’ pressing harder on his wound.

“Careful San if I didn’t think any better I’d say you’re testing your luck on a night shift nurse right after being robbed.” She shook her head to hold back her amusement.

“And what if I am?” He boldly asked hand slyly moving to grab her wrist gently stopping her from continuing with patching up his face. Y/n noticing just how close their faces were now.

“I’d say it would be a lost cause San, seeing as I’m your nurse and you’re my patient. Your not the first flirt I’ve come across in the work field and certainly not the last.” She put on a confident face tilting her head.

San’s eyes flickering the briefest second down at her lips before staring deep into her eyes, the smirk on his lips turning into a grin.

“Hasn’t stopped other people in the past. I like challenges Y/n.”

“This is a challenge you can only fail at San, I don’t typically go for guys without last names.”

“Choi.” San bluntly replied leaning another inch towards her face.

“I don’t go for bleach blondes.” Y/n responded right after not moving her face back.

“Hair dye exists darling.” San moved closer as if challenging her back, her head not retreating backwards.

“I like my men honest, wanna give me a rundown on how the robbery happened?” Y/n asked out while still doing her job causing San to let out a puff of air amused.

“If I get a kiss I might just tell you every little detail.” San was instantly sorting a made up robbery in his head.

“How about the story first?”

“No can do darling, the kiss comes first.” San denied his lips now so close she could nearly feel them against her own.

“Then I guess we are at a stalemate.” Y/n retorted yet didn’t move back.

San took this as a sign, eyes slowly closing as he moved forward only to be met with air.

Blinking his eyes a few times before fully opening them to see Y/n staring back amused, face a few inches away from his again.

“I got the last name, but your hair is still blonde and I didn’t get that story.” She shrugged, tugging her wrist out of his grasp easily seeing as he’d been holding it lightly in his grasp beforehand.

“Tease.” San groaned out moving backwards so his upper half of his body fell onto the bed.

“Whatever you say Choi San. Well as much as I enjoyed our interesting conversation, I need to go back to my ward to do another round on my patients seeing as you're all finished.” Y/n explained as she got up patting away the imaginary dusk on her scrubs after disposing of her one use gloves.

San was pleased to see no ring in sight on her now revealed hands. Sitting up with his hands holding all his wait he watched her put away the equipment she’d used.

“I thought I was also your patient, shouldn’t I get some of your time as well?” San didn’t let up not wanting her to leave so soon knowing fully well this could be their only interaction to his unfortunate displeasure at the thought.

“Well I can’t be using all my attention on one patient, that’s bias.” Y/n shrugged, moving to lean against the doorway of the room once again like she’d done when she’d first entered the room.

“You’ll probably be able to be discharged soon, be careful where you’re walking around at night with your friends. You’ve got a handsome face, one I don’t want to see get scratched up again and also in my hospital again, stay safe Choi San. Look after yourself.”

San smiled at her kind yet teasing words.

“I’ll try not to. But that doesn’t mean we won’t bump into each other again. The world is a small place you never know when we’ll see each other again.” San replied back.

“Sure thing.” Y/n nodded not thinking they’d cross paths again, but she wouldn’t mind it if it was in any other setting but the hospital she worked in.

Turning to leave Y/n held back an amused laugh hearing San call out to her as she finally took her leave.

“I’ll be waiting for that kiss Darling!”

“Darling?” It was a voice she’d thought she’d never hear again. Much less run into the man.

All she could do was stare in shock and slight anger at the sight in front of her.

San stood there gun in hand, face scratched up again because of the fight that had been taking place at 9pm on a random street in Seoul.

Y/n having been a random witness to the cruel street criminal actions taking place in the bank where’d she’d come by on her only day off she’d managed to get wanting to pay a bit of her student loans.

“You never got robbed.” Was all she could manage to whisper out, San having to strain his ears to hear it, but it was evident he’d heard her by the frown that had settled on his face.

San had been in a robbery gone wrong that night. Though he wasn’t the one who’d gotten robbed. He’d been the one trying to rob others. His grip on his gun faltered quickly, pocketing it in his waistband, glancing at the dead cameras shuffling closer to off duty nurse. Only for her to shuffle back from where she’d been sitting on the ground due to having been ordered by another man ten minutes ago to do so at the beginning of the bank heist currently taking place.

“Darling don’t, don’t you move away from me.” San scrambled with his words trying to back track this whole situation cursing out himself for life putting the two of you here at the same time and not some cliche bump into each other at a coffee shop cliche.

“You shouldn’t have told me your last name San.” Y/n spoke with determination, eyes barely managing to glare at her once patient who’d lied and flirted with her so easily.

“Well I guess that means we have a dilemma on our hands.” San clenched his jaw tight at her words.

“You won’t get away with this San, taking people's hard earned money like this.”

“That’s not what this is Y/n.” San denied desperately wanting her to understand the situation.

“That’s what it looks like to my Choi San.” She retorted, eyes flicking to his hands as he fiddled with something taking another step in her direction, eyes staring once again at that face he’d been thinking about this whole time since they’d first met months ago.

“Oh Darling. You have no idea.”

Taglist:

@philijack

(If you’d like to be tagged in my Ateez works please comment or message me to be added to the list)

𝕬𝖙𝖊𝖊𝖟 𝕸𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙: Click here

(Requests are currently open)

[i-luvsang]

jam to my peanut butter — choi san

1.2K MILESTONE EVENT ☆ CLOSED  gn!reader , fluff !! , non-idol!au , cw : alcohol/drinking, mentions of allergies, unedited , wc : 0.6K , here you go sky !! tysm for the requestttt i hope you enjoyyy hehe

san’s flushed cheeks and drunken giggles must be the most endearing, adorable sight you have yet to witness. you’re not nearly as drunk as he is; just tipsy enough to lean into his soft and frequent touches. though many other loud and happy friends surround you at the restaurant table, you feel removed from them; it’s not a bad thing, though. you just feel as though you’re in your own little world with san.

he flirts with you, you flirt back.

“will you be the jam to my peanut butter?” he slurs.

“first of all, i’m allergic to peanuts–”

“almond butter?”

“eh,” you tease, “not my favorite.” he pouts. “but… just for you, i’ll make an exception.” he grins. 

his heart flutters unbeknownst to you, and so does yours. that sensation, you are very familiar with when around san.

he takes shots, and you take less—all in hopes of being the one to take him home. surprisingly enough, luck is on your side when you stay in that little bubble with your long-time crush, as no one around you dares to pop it. then, you’re the one who’s responsible for him in his drunken state, as you’ve begun to sober up after quitting with the drinks a bit ago. plus, no one thinks they could get him to unlatch himself from his spot by your side, both hands at your elbow and his head on your shoulder.

“alright san, it’s time to go home,” you chide.

“why?” he sighs, that permanent pout that always finds its way to his features each time he’s drunk extra noticeable.

“well, everyone else is leaving and i think this restaurant is closing soon, so… that’s why.”

“ah. are you leaving too?” he lifts his head from your shoulder to look you in the eye. his gaze is soft, innocently questioning, and ever-so endearing.

“we all are. so, c’mon! get up with me so we can grab a taxi.” you start pushing out of your chair, san complying easily and happily.

“we’re getting a taxi together?” he asks, voice unabashedly hopeful.

you nod, doing your best to support the weight he puts on you as he leans into your side. “i’m taking you home,” you answer simply. he doesn’t say anything to that, just begins to hum an old song, contentedness filling the notes that escape his mouth.

leading him outside, you say goodbye to your other friends still lingering outside.

“try not to look too happy about having to take care of a drunk san,” wooyoung teases.

all you can muster in combat is a weak, “shut up,” while fighting back a smile.

“couldn’t if i tried~” he sing-songs back at you before waving goodbye with a bright smile and making his way to his car. you roll your eyes, but wave with your free hand in a friendly gesture. “bye, san! don’t cause too much trouble for your lover there, alright?” he yells before disappearing around the nearby corner. you feel your face flush with heat at wooyoung’s words, but san seems to just love it.

“my lover,” he giggles under his breath, sounding too happy about it for you to deny it. you’re probably too flustered to come up with a sentence that makes any sense. you’d do anything for san to call you that, sober. but he’s still drunk, so you’re not too sure what to make of it. all you can do is hope with your whole being that he’s not just saying things, but meaning them too. hope that his actions are what he really wants to be doing when he’s not drunk, not held back by whatever social standards that are set up to draw the line between friends and something more. hope that he wants to be holding you close like he is now, that, however cliche, and however allergic you are, he really, really wishes that you’d be the jam to his peanut butter.

(spoiler alert: he does.)

[stayteezdreams]

A Better Ending: Part One

Plot: Sitting alone at a restaurant, you accept your date has stood you up. But before you can leave, someone else decides to join you.

-Part Two-

Pairing: Choi San x Gn!Reader

Warnings: A teeny bit angsty, with some self-doubting/sad thoughts but only for a moment

-Meet-Cute Masterlist-

Words: ~2k

Your eyes flashed to your phone screen again as you nervously fiddled with your water glass, your leg tapping impatiently beneath the table.

'I'll wait five more minutes' you thought to yourself as you glanced around the restaurant.

Your date was now nearly thirty minutes late, and you hadn't received a single message or call from him.

You let out a sigh as you saw your waiter look at you as he walked past, pity obvious in his eyes. He had refilled your glass multiple times, asked if you wanted a starter, offered you a drink, but you refused everything each time and you said you were going to wait.

But the waiting felt more pathetic each minute that passed.

Picking up your phone, you re-read your messages.

'Hey! I'm here, are you close?'

'Did you get lost lol?'

'Are you okay?'

'If something came up let me know, we can reschedule.'

'I'm starting to get worried, are you okay?'

You messaged your friend who had set you up on this blind date, telling her what was happening. She said she'd try to reach him, but you hadn't heard anything yet.

Your mind began to go through all of the options again. He forgot tonight was your date. He got lost. He got in an accident. He decided he didnt want to come and has ghosted you. He showed up, saw you and then left.

'Ouch' you almost winced at the last thought, hurting your own feelings with the possibility.

Feeling your phone buzz, you quickly checked it, and felt your heart drop.

'I'm so sorry Y/n. He's not coming, coward. I'll never forgive him for standing you up like that.'

You sighed softly as you began to type out a reply

'I had a feeling he wasn't gonna show, but I waited anyways. Don't feel bad, it wasn't your fault. Thanks anyways.'

San tapped his fingers on his phone as he looked at his texts. He was left on read, again.

He scoffed as he rolled his eyes softly. He really thought she was interested in him, but he was proven wrong it seems.

The first date went well he thought, though, the more he thought about it, the less interested in him she seemed, and more in the fancy date he offered.

He had never been stood up before, and he couldn't help but feel embarrassed. It wasn't like anyone knew, but, a man sitting alone at a dinner table for twenty minutes would probably make it obvious.

Looking around, his eyes cast over the various couples and groups in the restaurant, before landing on someone sitting alone.

You were staring into space, phone under hand. He had noticed you earlier, you were here when he got here. Had you been alone the whole time? Did you also get stood up?

As his waiter walked past, he stopped him "This might be an odd question, but, have they been alone the whole time they've been here?"

The waiter glanced over to where San was referencing and the guy frowned "Yeah, they said they were waiting for someone but I think they got stood up."

San frowned, looking over at you "They're not the only one."

The waiter rose his brow at this and shook his head "Two in one night, wow."

San watched you for a moment, seeing you check your phone, before your face fell. He had a feeling he knew exactly what you were going through in that moment.

How could someone stand you up though? You were gorgeous. Bad boyfriend? Bad friends?

Watching as you texted someone, your face knit with disappointment, San suddenly felt the urge to tell you he knew how you felt. Maybe you could rant about your bad dates together? Or was he just being crazy?

After setting your phone down, you leaned your head back a bit and let out a sigh. Should you say screw it and order some food and eat alone, or just go home?

Admitting defeat, you reached down to grab your bag, wondering how embarrassing it was going to be to ask for a bill for four glasses of water.

Seeing someone sit down across from you, you looked up startled.

San felt his heart thump heavily in his chest as you looked up and met his eyes. You froze, and San thought that time stopped for a moment.

As one of the most attractive men you've ever seen sat down in front of you and smiled, you felt your whole body freeze.

This was not your blind ate. He looked nothing like your blind date, at least not from the photo your friend sent you.

"Uhm." You managed to let out, obviously uncertain of what was happening.

He lifted his hands and let out a chuckle "I know you're confused, but I'll explain."

You sat up slowly, eyeing him carefully. "Okay?"

He smiled, obviously a bit embarrassed "I've been sitting over there waiting for my date, who decided to never show." You felt your heart jump at this.

"I noticed you when I first showed up, and I also noticed you've been alone the whole time and I was wondering if maybe..the same thing happened to you?"

You nodded your head "Yeah, he ghosted me."

San closed his eyes and let out a hiss "I was left on read."

You winced a bit, feeling the pain, before you suddenly felt a bit amused "So, you saw me, guessed I was going through the same thing and decided to...?"

"Save us both from the embarrassment of eating alone at a romantic restaurant?" He said with a laugh and you couldn't help but smile in return.

The way his eyes wrinkled and his dimples showed when he smiled gave you butterflies.

"Well that was a nice thought." You said softly, your tone shy, yet amused.

Seeing your waiter come up to your table, you wondered what he was going to think, before he smiled over at San.

"I was wondering where you went." He looked over at you and grinned "Would you like to order now?"

"Uh-" you looked at San who met your eyes, rose his brow and smiled "Sure" You gave in and he smile a bit wider.

After you both ordered some food San leaned in a little bit "Do you know why your date ghosted you?"

You shook your head as you sipped on your drink "No idea, he ignored my messages, I had to hear it from the friend who set us up."

His face contorted to anger as he shook his head "Coward."

You giggled "That's what my friend said."

"And they're right."

You tried to ignore the way your heart was beating, and the heat rising up your neck "What about you?"

He shrugged "I don't know. This would have been our second date. I thought the first one went well, but I guess not. I think maybe she was just in it for the fancy dates, and this did not meet her expectations." He said looking around.

You scoffed "This place has great food, shes missing out."

He smiled, his voice rising in agreement "Right?"

You looked around "I wonder if that's why my date didn't show...I picked this place, maybe it wasn't up to his standards either." You shrugged "That's a better reason than the one I was torturing myself with anyways."

San raised his brow and tilted his head "What do you mean?"

You suddenly felt a bit embarrassed as you twirled your glass slowly in your hands "I thought maybe he did show up, but then he saw me, and left."

San felt his gut twist at this. How could you think that? You were one of the most attractive people he'd seen. Exactly his type. He couldn't imagine anyone reacting that way to you.

He shook his head "No way."

You gave him a curious gaze and he smiled softly "There's no way he came. Because if he showed up and saw you, he would have come in, definitley."

You felt your face get hot and you hoped it wasn't noticeable. You looked down at your glass shyly and smile "Thank you, that's nice of you to say."

San smiled amused at the way you reacted to his comment "I'm not just saying it though, I mean it." He said softly, and as sincerely as he could, and the way your eyes looked up to meet his made his heart skip a beat.

You were obviously stunned by his comments and it made him think you weren't used to them. What a shame.

Not wanting you to get too uncomfortable he smiled "I didn't ask your name."

You swallowed, clearly glad of the change of subject, though you were still effected by his comments. "Oh, it's Y/n"

He smiled "I'm San."

"It's nice to meet you San."

"And you Y/n." He said in return, as you both smiled, shy giggles leaving you both as your heart hammered in your chests.

You had decided, about half way through your dinner with San, that even if your blind date had showed, you wouldn't have felt like this.

It turned out you and San had a great deal in common, similar interests, hobbies, and dreams. If you had met some other way, there was no way you wouldn't be friends.

But there was also a growing attraction, that you were sure you would not have felt with the man who ghosted you. You hoped San was feeling the same things you were. The way he acted, and looked at you said he did, but maybe that's just you being hopeful.

When your waiter finally brought the bill, you reached for it, but San grabbed it faster. You met his eyes with amusement and surprise.

"Allow me."

"No, are you sure? I'm okay with paying for mine." You said as you reached out your hand and he just shook his head.

"Take it as a thank you."

"A thank you?"

"For saving me from eating alone."

"I'm the one who should be thanking you."

"You're welcome." He said with a brazen tone and cheeky smile as he handed the bill and his card to the waiter who had come back over.

You scoffed in amusement before you fully laughed, making him chuckle.

San walked you to your car, and you had the growing realization that you might never see him again. Would he say yes if you asked if you could? Would he decline?

As you stopped by your car and faced him and smiled "I had a great time, thank you."

He grinned and nodded "I did too."

"I hope the girl you were supposed to take out regrets it."

He chuckled "And I hope the guy who stood you up learns just how much he missed out on."

Your ears burned a bit hotter at this, and you giggled under your breath. You wondered again, if he would say yes to seeing you again, but it seemed he had the same thought.

"Would you want to have dinner with me again?" he asked you with a soft voice and a shy, endearing smile.

Your heart skipped a beat as you nodded "I'd love to."

He beamed at you before tilting his head "No standing each other up?"

You shook your head fervently "Definitely not."

He chuckled "Good."

After you exchange phone numbers, San reached out and took your hand and you held your breath. Bringing it up to his face, San pressed a soft kiss to the back of your hand before he smiled shyly at you.

"As mean as it might sound, I'm glad you got stood up."

You laughed, but knew what he meant with his comment. "I can say the same."

He grinned before he slowly let your hand go "Goodnight Y/n. Until next time."

You nodded and smiled softly "Yes, until next time."

xx

Kind of an odd ending, but I always suck at them lol so sorry.

-Part Two-

Taglist: @bubblesreplies, @halesandy, @why-am-i-sad

[roomsofangel]

. . . PARADISE .ᐟ

choi san | written by roomsofangel

pairing best friend!san x afab!reader

genre(s) mutual pining. sorta fluff in certain scenes. angst! smut. san is just a lovesick puppy for the reader

word count currently around 900 words as of december 27th 2023

warnings reader constantly putting herself into possible dangerous situations. mentions of past sex work. eating disorders. mentions of suicidal thoughts and self harm. san gets into a physical fight. explicit language.

smut warnings unprotected sex (don’t do this, i’ll smack you with my chancla). creampie. soft dom!san. sub!reader. more softer than the others tbh — praise praise praise. oral (reader receiving). public sex. san = vocal!!

estimated release date tba

synopsis san knew you deserved better than this, better than the cards you were dealt and constantly made it his mission as your best friend to show you the love he knew you needed. after a month of not hearing from you, you call him on a sunday night to spend the week together.

or

san didn’t know you were saying goodbye

the full masterlist .ᐟ

[cheollipop]

Omg I can’t stop thinking about San in Idol Radio justnow…😵‍💫 The way he wanted to hear the members saying they’re his, and the reaction when Mingi said “San-ah I’m yours, use me however you want” made me LOSE IT🫠

My head hasn’t stop thinking about how Domsan will be like and just completely ruining you, pounding you harder and deeper after hearing you speak the words “I’m yours, please use me” ajdfndifjsj help

no fr because that whole episode was so damn fruity??? and yes omg the way san retreated to the back of the room 😭 but anonnie... I need to sue you for emotional damages for putting this idea in my head (and give you lots of smooches for pulling me out of the depths of writer's block mwah)

nsfw under the cut—minors dni!! 🔞

"say it again," he muttered into your neck, his words vibrating over the slick skin.

your knees dug into the mattress beside your waist, san's hands gripping your thighs and pushing them down, hovering over you while he folded your body in half. his request echoed in the back of your head, nerves buzzing violently every time he stuffed his cock inside you, the loud melody of skin-on-skin reverberating between the four walls.

"please, 'wanna hear you say it again," he trailed his lips up to your jawline, sliding the tip of his tongue down its slope.

you knew it would drive him crazy, a shy 'I'm yours, please use me however you want' on your lips, the last syllable barely rolling off your tongue before he'd pounced on you—manhandling your body and fucking two loads into your used cunt.

your walls clenched around him, a soft grunt escaping his lips. "(y/n)," he called out again—a needy whine.

"I-I'm yours, Sannie- hnngh!" you managed, arching your back to the best of your ability in the position you were in, san's cockhead pistoning into your g-spot.

"that's right," he panted, pulsing between your walls as he neared his third orgasm. "you're all mine," he pressed his lips to your cheekbone, whispering mine and I love you's in between kisses.

tears streaked down the sides of your face, your thighs trembling around san's body while he pounded into you, a stream of your arousal and his cum being fucked out of you with every thrust.

"gonna breed my pretty girl full of cum," his cock twitched inside you, his rhythm growing eratic. "fuck, baby, you'll be leaking for days," he kissed his way up to your ear, running the tip of his tongue over the outer shell before lowering his voice to a sultry whisper, "and when you're all out, I'll just fuck you full again."

your moans—broken and high-pitched—ripped through your chest, san's lips sealing over yours to swallow them down as you came, your orgasm shaking your whole body in his arms. waves of euphoria rushed through your veins, your pussy pulsing violently around san's cock until a familiar warmth flooded your abdomen. san shuddered on top of you as ribbons of white painted your walls, seeping out of your entrance to add to the puddle under you, his desperate moans echoing in your ear while he slowly fucked his cum into your sopping heat.

san's body rolled to the side with you in his arms, his softening cock still sheathed within your overstimulated pussy. tender kisses peppered over every attainable patch of skin, gentle fingers digging into the sore muscles of your thighs, occasionally moving upwards to rub soothing circles over your lower back. you allowed your exhaustion to tug at your eyelids, ignoring the dull throbbing between your legs while san's delicate touch and his muttered I love you's lulled you to restful slumber.

[hahafixon]

Small Town Living ~ *Choi San*

Summary: San is moving to your small town and you’re curious as to what brings him here. Of course, your grandmother thinks the two of you should get together. And falling in love with him might be easier than you anticipated…

Pairing: Choi San X G/N!Reader

Genre: Fluffy Oneshot

Word Count: 1900

Warning: a meddlesome grandmother and great aunt

Masterlist

Taglist: @foxwinter​​ @mxnsxngie​ @maeleelee​ @imagine-a-life-like-this​ @kpop-will-kill-me

A/N: Part 2 Small Town Dreaming can be found right here.

Many people would say living in a small town was too confining. But you would highly disagree. Nothing beats biking through town, saying hello to all of the locals. Knowing everyone and always looking out for each other, it was your place to be. Besides, you got enough excitement from your grandmother’s bed and breakfast, where you worked. There were enough out-of-towners to keep you satisfied with what was outside of your small town.

Propping your bike outside of the B&B, the bell above the door jingled as you entered. The smell of home and summer hit you and you let out a contented sigh. This was exactly where you belonged. And you couldn’t be happier.

“Good morning, Grandma.” You called out, knowing she would hear you from wherever she was in the building.

“Morning dear! Did you get everything from the store?” She answered from somewhere else.

You nodded, even though she couldn’t see you. “Yes, I’ve got the groceries and toiletries to spare. Anything else you need from me?”

“Oh, thank you, dear. Can you double check the guest book and the ledger? I want to make sure we’re not overbooked this summer. It is the busy season, you know.”

“Of course.”

Pulling out the thick guest book, as your grandmother refused to digitize anything, you started scanning who made a reservation and how long they would be staying. You double-checked everything against the receipts you made sure to receive and the large calendar on the front desk. A smile stretched across your face when everything checked out. You loved when things fell into place like this.

Despite everything being perfect according to the guest book, calendar, and receipts, one name caught your eye.

“Grandma, this Choi San who will be staying with us for a couple weeks, he’s not related to Ms. Choi, is he?” You asked.

Your grandmother, appearing by your side, glanced at the name and the receipt. She nodded, “Yes, she’s his great aunt. Apparently he’s looking to open a taekwondo studio here in town. If you ask me, I think it’s exactly what this town needs.”

You nodded absent-mindedly. “Yes, of course.”

“Oh, dear, before I forget, can you help me clean up room fourteen? The Sol family is going to be checking in late this afternoon.”

This knocked you out of your stupor and you smiled. “Yes, absolutely. We wouldn’t want to leave our customers waiting now, would we?”

She chuckled, pinching your cheek. “That’s why you’re my favorite employee and grandchild.”

The rest of the day went on like normal. You helped check the Sol family into their room, kept the rooms clean, directed guests to points of interest in town, and picked up dinner for you to share with your grandmother. However your mind was elsewhere. You couldn’t help but keep thinking about San who was coming tomorrow. 

Ms. Choi was a dear friend of your grandmother and she spoke highly of her great nephew. She said he was a hard worker with a kind heart, friendly disposition, and a handsome face. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t interested in meeting him. But you wouldn’t tell your grandmother that. She was a notorious gossip and matchmaker. She’d try to set you up with him and be planning your wedding before you even had your first date.

You shook your head, banishing the thought from your head. You were being ridiculous. There was no way you were going to fall in love with him. Maybe you could be friends, but definitely not lovers. It sounded way too cliché, like a bad Hallmark movie.

“Did you hear me, dear?”

Glancing at your grandmother, who was giving you a cheeky smile, you sighed and shook your head. “I’m sorry, grandma.”

She waved her hand with a teasing scoff. “Don’t be. Your mind has been elsewhere all day. And don’t deny it! I know you well enough to know when you’re not thinking of work. If I didn’t know any better, I would think you were thinking of San all day.”

You practically choked on your food and she let out a bark of laughter. “Ha! I knew it! Oh I will have to tell Ms. Choi about this tomorrow when I meet her for tea and quilting along with the rest of the quilting society, which is what I was trying to tell you earlier. Oh, you’re free to join as well, dear. I’m sure the ladies would love to see you again!”

Trying to recover from almost suffocating, you said, “Shouldn’t someone stay here to look after the B&B? Besides, we have a couple coming to check in late tomorrow, don’t we?”

“You’re right, but still. At least make an appearance.” She encouraged you with a stern nod. “You spend too much time here, dear. I worry about your social health.”

“Believe me, grandma, my social health is just fine.”

“Sure it is.” She rolled her eyes and you groaned.

“Just, finish your dinner, please!”

“Whatever you say, darling grandchild of mine.”

You were tossing and turning all night, trying not to get too hung about tomorrow. San was just another customer. He was just a family member of a friend. He wasn’t special. You just needed to treat him like a normal customer, that’s all.

And so as you anxiously wait at the front desk, you repeat it over and over again. He was just a normal customer. He was just a normal customer. He was just a normal-

A perfectly normal and devilishly handsome customer.

Seriously, it was unfair how handsome he is.

“San?”

He smiled and you swear you were about to smack that frustratingly adorable smile off his face. “You must be Y/n. My great aunt told me about you and your grandma. She wasn’t kidding when she said that you take this bed and breakfast seriously.”

“Should I be flattered or offended?”

His smile fell, replaced with a look of dread. “No! No, no, no! I didn’t mean to offend you! I’m so sorry if I did!”

You laughed at his flustered state. “I’m just teasing. Are you ready to check in?”

He nodded, relief causing his shoulders to sag. “Yes, please.”

As he signed the guest book, which you noticed he had excellent handwriting, you commented, “So what are you doing staying in the bed and breakfast, instead of with your great aunt?”

“Well, her place is really small and she only has one guest bedroom that is so full of quilting materials, it’s basically a wall now. Besides, I was the one who suggested coming here, so that it forces me to find my own place faster and I stay out of her hair. Of course, she insisted that she pay for my stay.” He explained, handing back the pen.

You nodded and put the guest book away. “I completely understand. That’s why we don’t have anyone staying in room twelve. It’s full of my grandma’s quilting and scrapbooking materials.”

San laughed. “Looks like we both have overzealous and crafty relatives.”

A giggle escaped you. “Seems like.”

You handed him the key for room eight and showed him where he would be staying. San commented on how spacious, clean, and bright the room was before thanking you for your help. You listed off the amenities that came with a stay at the B&B, which included free breakfast every day and coupons to local eateries and shops. You also informed him of events going on in the town which made him chuckle, much to your confusion.

Noticing your slight concern, he said, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t laugh, but I couldn’t help it. You sound just like a tour guide. You must really love this town.”

Nodding sheepishly, you admitted, “I do. It’s where I grew up. I have so many fond memories and couldn’t imagine living anywhere else. I love how tight-knit everyone is. It’s like we’re all each other’s family. Some people would find this town boring because it’s small, but I find it charming.”

He shook his head. “I don’t find it boring at all. I agree that this place is charming.”

“Is that why you moved here.”

San shrugged. “It’s part of the reason. The other reason is I just needed to get out of the city. It’s too loud and chaotic. I needed something more stable, if that makes sense?”

“Absolutely.”

There was a brief pause before San said, “Actually, I was about to go see my great aunt to let her know I arrived. You wouldn’t happen to know where I can find her? I tried calling her home phone, which went to voicemail, and her cell phone is always off. I just thought I’d ask since you know everything about this town.”

You gave a sheepish smile. “I know where she’d be. She’s with the quilting society, with my grandma. I can show you there since she spends most of her time there.”

“Yes please.”

So the two of you walked through town, you pointing out places of interest and San telling you how the town differed from the city. Conversation came easy with him and you found that every time he placed a hand on your arm to direct you from people walking in the opposite direction, you felt your heart skip a beat. Could it be that your meddling grandmother was starting to get to you? Were you really falling for Choi San? You begged internally to keep him securely in the friend zone, but you knew deep down inside that wasn’t going to happen. Not if your grandmother and his great aunt had anything to say about it.

When you arrived at the quilting society, you opened the door for him, to which he gave you a skeptical look. “You know, it’s customary for the gentleman to hold the door.”

“I’m sure it is but I reached the door first.” You teased back.

“Next time.” He shot you a wink that made you freeze for only a split second.

“Is that my Sannie?” A shout from the back of the building distracted you.

He chuckled before calling back, “Yes Auntie.”

Instantly, the two of you were swarmed by quilting society members. Of course they commented on how much the two of you’ve grown and how it was so good to see you. They bombarded San with questions about his life from infancy to now. You hung back which eventually caught your grandmother’s attention and she joined you.

“So, are you showing San around?”

You nodded. “I just thought since I know so much about this place, he’d like an unofficial-official tour guide.”

She chuckled and patted your cheek. “Such a good kid. And he’s very handsome isn’t he?”

You tried to force your blush away from your cheeks. “He’s not unattractive, if that’s what you’re trying to say.”

“Well I think you two make a cute couple.”

“Grandma-”

Before you could scold her, San and his great aunt came up to the two of you, his aunt with a big smile on her face. “Sannie was telling me how helpful you’ve been, showing him around and telling him all about our little town. We were wondering if you would like to join us for dinner tonight?”

“That sounds wonderful!” Your grandmother answered before you could. “That way we can start planning the wedding!”

“Grandma no!”

[orshii]

Limitless (through the night)

Author: orshii

Pairing: biker! Choi San x female reader

Warnings: cursing, brief mention of death

Word count: 11,5 k

Summary: You have broken the rules, again. The punishment? You’re moving in with your father, sent back to your hometown which you had grown to be a stranger to. What happens when old affairs return in the form of Choi San? The only guy you wished to forever avoid, the guy who was a menace and always knew which buttons to push.

Will he put aside your differences and help you out when you get in trouble again?

A/N: Wow, I guess I'm here again...Ever since I saw these pictures of San, I'm obsessed with it, so a story kinda popped out of my mind lol. Like, I'll just never get over biker San pls, he drives me crazy, and I don't like it (lie). Anyways, thank you for my talented bestie @bvidzsoo for helping me a lot. I'm really a newbie to this whole writing and Tumblr world so, ly bestie hehet. Please, enjoy! I'mma be back soon, with a Hongjoong series too, lmao. Okay, byee, xoxo, orshii. (divider)

Moving to a new place could excite you due to all the new opportunities coming your way, alongside with new people, which may become your new friends.

In my case it wasn't like this. I was moving back to my hometown, which I have left almost ten years ago, leaving behind my father and all the people who I was once close with.

Now, I'm on my way back to my father, back to the house where we once were a happy family. My mother left my father, because it seemed like my father cheated on her. But the actual truth was that she just wanted to escape from this little town. She had no opportunities here, so she just blamed everything on him to have a reason to leave this shitty little town behind, alongside with me. I was only 10 years old, I did not understand back then what the hell was happening, so I just went with her. We moved to a bigger city, which was full with people. I never liked it, I hate crowds, I hate how the city is full with life.

After a while, my mother met someone and he was rich, so, we moved into a bigger house, which looked like a castle. I did not like it; I like simple things. I liked our old house, where the walls were cracked like a river spreading through the map. It was beautiful in its own way.

So why am I going back again to my hometown? I look to my left, where my mother is driving. She looked tired and mad; she was continuously frowning while she was driving. Maybe she was thinking about how she could bring a child like me into this world. Of course, I was the cause of going back to my hometown. It was my punishment.

 I'm going to be honest, lying isn’t something I do often. Since I was little, I adored motorcycles. They are so beautifully shaped and their sound is simply music to my ears. I love watching them through the TV, the bikers riding their fancy motorcycles and competing against each other, going in circles like Formula 1 cars on the circuits.

 My dad had owned an old Yamaha, it was beautiful. He noticed that I adored it, and so, he taught me everything about motorbikes; which part of the bike belongs where, he even taught me how to repair some broken parts. That was the moment I fell in love with motorbikes. I could not wait until I grew up and finally got my license. I had one purpose in life, and that was it.

And after a lot of patience, I finally got my license, but I had no motorbike. This became my next goal. To buy a bike. I succeeded doing that too, and I was proud of myself.

I looked back, where my beautiful matte black Yamaha R6 was tied safely onto the trailer. After I bought Toothless—I have named it that—I naturally joined a motorbike gang and slowly got into the world of racing. But these were illegal affairs, illegal races. You’d rarely get caught, so I didn’t worry about it. But one day I made a very bad mistake and I was left to face the cops. I was alone, the others—whom I considered my friends—left me there, letting me face the repercussions all on my own. As soon as my mother got me out of the police station and we got home, she started packing my things, saying 'You're moving in with your father.' My opinion did not matter, it was settled, and I just needed to obey. I did not care about anything at that point, so I just went with it without a word. Since that incident I did not want to make any friends, I did not trust people anymore, not even my mother. She betrayed me by sending me back to our hometown, treating me like I was a nobody to her. I never felt like I belonged anywhere, I am used of being passed around by others.

As soon as we drove through the streets of my hometown, little memories started resurfacing and I smiled. It was good to be back, to be honest, I have always loved this area. I never actually wanted to leave it behind, I just really had no choice but to do otherwise.

When we finally arrived to the house where we had once lived, a whirlwind of emotions hit me like a truck. My father stepped out from his car service, wiping his oily hands onto a used black cloth, which was once white. He looked tired and worried, mimicking the same expressions reflected on my mother’s face.

I stepped out from the car, looking around a little bit. Nothing has changed since I had last been here, and that was a long time ago. We never came back after the separation, my father used to visit us when he had the time, but it was rare, and our relationship went from having a happy father-daughter connection, to a shallow 'How's school? Good.' connection.

As I looked around, my parents were talking quietly just so I wouldn’t overhear them, but I knew they were talking about me. They were talking, and then suddenly my mother was moving, giving me a kiss on my cheek and saying 'Don't get into any trouble', leaving me there like I was an abandoned cat, handed back to the streets because it kept causing trouble. She chose the easier way, passing me into the hands of my father.

I pushed my bike into the garage and covered it with a blanket, I did not want Toothless to be dusty from all the dirt flying around the air. My dad showed me around the house acting as if I was there for the first time. I stepped inside my old room; everything was just how I had left it. The old drawing in which I had drawn our once happy family, and even my little pink shoes, which I had cried about leaving behind accidentally. Everything was the same, except me.

I got enrolled into the local University. I wanted to learn still as I had nothing to do; I needed to keep my mind busy. As I was headed to the new University on my bike, I felt anxiety crawling up through my body. I never liked new places, and besides, this was a little town, everyone knew everyone. And so, I was the new girl in town to them. The girl who came back after years of being gone. I don't really think anybody is actually aware of who am I. I had changed.

I arrived to the parking lot of the university, and cut the engine of Toothless. I sighed before I got off my bike, taking off my raven black helmet with red lines on it. My anxiety had finally crawled through my body, managing to reach my mind and thoughts, clouding them and keeping me locked in, not letting me go for even a second. My thoughts had always been my biggest enemy. Overthinking made me feel anxious about even the littlest things. It wasn’t good as this influenced my behavior, all the time. I tried to gather myself, not having noticed that somebody was watching me.

"Princess is back in town and has a little motorcycle, I see." I jumped at the sudden deep voice coming from behind me.

I turned around and saw a very familiar looking, handsome, guy in front of me, but I did not remember his name. He was smirking at me, his eyes sharp like a knife, glaring at me like he was a predator and I was his prey. He was wearing a black hoodie that hugged his broad shoulders perfectly, with black shorts that reached his knees, pairing with red Jordans.

"And who are you?" I asked frowning; I really did not know him, he looked familiar, but I could not place a name to his face.

He just tilted his head, looking at me sharper than before, "You don't remember me? I'm Choi San."

He was frowning his thick eyebrows, a little cut in his left eyebrow making his glare more intense.

Choi San, the mayor's son. Now I knew who he was, and I did not fucking like him. He was always the annoying rich kid from school, always stuck-up, acting all-mighty due to his family being rich. And he didn’t like me either anymore. At the beginning we were friends, but then shit started happening at home—my parents arguing constantly, not even noticing me anymore—and so, I closed myself off, not wanting to befriend anyone. I was just a child, my parents constantly arguing was a big enough trauma for me to stop caring about other things. So, I pushed San away, who, I assume, took it to heart since he started hating me and acting like a total jackass, not letting me live. It was like that until I left my hometown, leaving everyone behind.

"Oh, well then, I don't care." I said while grabbing my helmet from my bike and turning around to leave. I did not have the energy for this arrogant prick, he didn’t change at all, I could tell by his one little sentence.

He laughed, "Princess is mad, huh? Is that a Yamaha R1?"

He had asked while pointing at my bike, not letting me leave quite yet.

I sighed and turned around looking at him annoyed, "No, it's an R6."

My answer was short and snappy.

"That's from one of the newest series. I bet you begged on your knees your rich stepfather to buy it for you." He laughed sarcastically, and it sounded like an engine that needed an oil change. I sneered at the thought.

It hurt, it hurt because he didn’t know how many days I didn’t sleep because I had shift after shift, working my ass off. My stepfather and mother didn’t want to buy me a bike, actually they hated just the idea of it, but I didn’t care, so I took as many jobs as I could, and after three years of hard work, I finally get to buy this beauty. It had nothing to do with my stepfather. San was just being his old self, being an asshole, judging even though he did not know anything at all.

"Just fuck off, San." I snapped before walking towards the building. I was starting to get annoyed, but I didn’t let it show because I knew that was what he wanted out of this exchange. To piss me off, get on my nerves.

I finally stepped inside the building. I was a bit lost; I didn't know where I was supposed to go now.

"Let's race someday or are you scared, baby?" But San suddenly stopped next to me, looking at me arrogantly, not leaving me alone.

I laughed at the nickname, it was cringe, what the hell was he thinking? "I don't do shit like that."

I didn’t even spare him a glance.

"Then why do you have a motorbike?" San asked, looking at me like the police officer had when he was interrogating me.

"I obviously use it to go to church." I rolled my eyes as I started walking down the corridor. I got a lot of curious looks from the other students littered around in the hallways.

"I bet you raced in that big town of yours." San said, of course, following me.

I suddenly stopped in my tracks, and looked at him with deadly eyes, "Can't you just go and fucking annoy somebody else?"

"Princess is being mean for what? I just wanted to welcome you back in town." He said with a smirk on his lips.

"Oh, how humble" I said ironically, "Thank you for your kindness."

I smiled at him and saluted him before turning around. I did not have the energy for this egoistic guy.

I somehow found the director's office. He handed over my schedule and wished me good luck, and I was abandoned again in the empty corridor.

I was looking at my schedule, trying to figure out which classroom I needed to get in.

 "Hey, new girl, are you lost?" I heard a voice calling out to—me— I had assumed.

I looked up and I found myself standing in front of a tall, black-haired boy, with the kindest smile I had ever seen in my entire life. He was wearing bright colors, which highlighted his bright smiley face, he looked like a walking sunshine.

"Hi, yes, a little bit." I said while looking at my schedule confused.

"Let me see." He took the paper from my hands and looked at it humming, "Oh, you are in the same major as me. I'm headed to that class; I can show you the way."

He offered me up with a sweet smile.

"Oh my god, thank you, you saved me." I huffed the air out from my lungs.

"This way." He pointed out the direction with his finger, and we started to walk towards the classroom.

"By the way, I'm Yunho." He said, reaching his hand out towards me.

I smiled while shaking his hand, "Y/N, nice to meet you. How did you know I am the new girl?"

I had asked him curiously.

"Everyone knows, it's a little town, the rumors here spread like the plague." He shivered with a smile.

I chuckled, "Oh, I see. Too bad, I just wanted to remain unknown."

"Your dad is quite famous in town, did you know? So, I assume he told someone you are coming, and puff, the rumors are everywhere." He gave me a side glance as he smiled.

"Yeah, maybe." I said, thinking about the fact that my father has a car service, which, I assume, is the only one in town. Therefore, people meet up with him constantly, thinking more of it, it isn’t a surprise that people know who I am, in the end it, it is a little town. We arrived to the classroom, and headed in.

The day went by quickly. I was glad I met Yunho, he was a funny guy, and he led me around the University, making funny comments about some students. I really needed him in order to integrate into this new community, which I was once part of ten years ago. It was as if I had to relive the past, as if I was walking down the same path, I had done so ten years ago, a path which might have changed during my absence. It felt like I had to start everything from the very beginning.

  The days passed by quickly, and I just tried to avoid being in the spotlight as I found out everyone knew me, but I knew nobody, because who would remember the people they had met while being just a little kid? As I was randomly walking on the street, headed to get some groceries, random people would say hello and even ask how my mom was. I just quickly answered them, but I didn’t know who they were.  I didn’t like the attention, when all the eyes were on me, so I tried to lay low, live my life quietly.

Then one day, as I had gotten closer to Yunho, he somehow convinced me to attend a party held by some guy named Song Mingi. I wore casual clothes, meaning simple black ripped jeans paired with a black crop-top, and a leather jacket. I am a biker, so the leather jacket is a must, even when you have to leave your bike behind, as I had done now. I felt like drinking something. I hadn’t gotten drunken in a while, not that this was my purpose for the night.

Yunho came to pick me up with his navy-blue Nissan GT-R. The car was beautiful inside out. And that is when I found out that Yunho used to do street racing, held by some local racing company. That's another reason as to why we became friends so quickly, as we were interested in the same things.

  When we arrived to the house where the party was held at, it was already crowded. Luckily, there was the opportunity to stay outside, next to the pool, and so, I told Yunho I didn't really want to go into the crowd. He stayed with me, and to our luck, we found some alcohol outside too. There was a table next to the pool, and there were a whole bunch of alcoholic drinks on it, so, we took some tequila shots. As we were talking about some of Yunho's street races, I heard someone approaching us.

"Where did you leave your expensive bike, princess?" He clapped his hands together, reaching for a can of beer, opening it quickly with his thumb. He was wearing dark jeans, a white T-shirt, and on top a leather jacket. At least he knew the unsaid rule of the bikers. Leather jacket is a must, like I have said.

I looked at him with a glare, "I left it at church since I got drunk on the communion wine."

I said annoyed as it was my last wish to meet him tonight, “Just leave me alone, San.”

"Where's the fun in that?" He leaned close to my face, bending down to be at the same height as me, whispering it in my face.

"The fun must be where you brain is, which you seem to be lacking in." I pointed at his head.

He laughed loudly, "You'll see where is the fun when I beat you at the race."

He glared at me with his typical sharp gaze. It whispered danger. And I liked danger.

“I said I don’t race; do you have issues with your long-term memory now?” Despite meaning to be teasing and unabashed, my voice came out a little angry as I frowned.

“I saw the news about your little incident. You can’t be fooling everyone and telling them you nearly got arrested, princess.” He spread his arms, as he raised his voice, so everyone could hear it who was outside. I felt everyone’s eyes on us, coming closer, way too interested in hearing what the whole fiasco was about.

My blood had started boiling and I clenched my fists together, until my knuckles turned white. I was blinded by my sudden anger towards San, I just wanted to wipe that annoying, arrogant, smile off of his face. I stepped closer to him, my face inches away from his, as his back was facing the pool. He just needed a little encouragement for a swim, and so, I strongly pushed him towards the pool, and before he could fall in, I quickly whisked the beer out of his hand, and lifted it into the air.

“Have a good swimming, Choi San.” I placed the beer down on the table. That was my que to leave him there. I could feel his glare pointed at my back from the pool as he swum to the surface. I could feel his annoyance, that he felt embarrassed. I smirked to myself, Choi San, you have no idea whom you’re trying to annoy. Yunho came after me quickly and gave me a high-five for the move I had just pulled off.

  The next hours at the party were spent by drinking and dancing, as I went into the dancing crowd. I just wanted to disappear in the crowd and feel good. I tried to avoid San the whole night as I didn’t want to see his furious side, San, who got humiliated by me. It was funny, I had to smile the whole time as I remembered his face when I pushed him into the pool, amused by the whole ordeal. I also got to know the guy who threw the party as Yunho introduced us to each other. Mingi was a tiny bit shorter than Yunho, but you could barely notice. He had a buzz cut and rocked his blonde hair; his sharp nose completed his small eyes well. He wore a black T-shirt with some silver necklaces around his neck, and black ripped jeans. His nails were painted black with some rings on his fingers. I am not going to lie; he was hot as hell. And I also found out that he races alongside with Yunho. He owns a Toyota Supra, and that nearly made me faint when he told me about it, because it’s a rare car. He then proceeded to show it to me. It was so beautiful and unique due to its painting. It was kind of a papaya orange with some words on it painted on it, 'Fix on' and 'Youth'. I really liked it.

I had asked the boys about what kind of race San spoke about, and they said it’s an illegal motorbike race, which happen to be very rare here. I quickly tried to forget about it. I didn't want to cause trouble again; I had promised my mom and also myself to stay low, to be better. San was just provoking me; I wouldn’t fall into his trap.

  The next day at university as I was walking down the corridor, headed to the cafeteria, something immediately caught my eyes. It was a poster with a motorbike on it, of course it caught my eyes. I went closer to read it. It said that a motorbike competition was to be held, and the prize were some new parts to upgrade your motorcycle. This was the competition San was talking about, and it's going to be held tonight on the deserted streets of the city. I'm not going to lie; it piqued my interest. I miss speeding down the roads, the adrenaline coursing through my veins every time I race. And my bike is in urgent need of an upgrade, because these past days it felt like something was wrong with it, but I couldn’t figure out what it was exactly. For now, I'm going to let it go, but I still took the poster with me…just in case.

Evening came and I was in my room, I barely talked to my father all day, nothing unusual. Sometimes when I'm alone, and that happens a lot recently, I just start thinking about useless things that make me feel weak. I have never opened up to anyone before, I was never that kind of person, and besides, I always thought it's useless to open up to someone, because in the end they never truly care about me. And the fact that I was betrayed by my own "friends", it just confirms that I really should just stick to myself. I'm not going to say that it didn’t hurt when I saw my friends running away from the police, pushing me straight in front of them, telling me, "You are the new girl, handle it." Funny, I'm the new girl everywhere, I'm not going to belong anywhere, I am always going to be the new girl. They thought it was a nice joke, it wasn't; it ruined me. I started to think that the problem was me, that I deserved this, that I am not enough. As some time went by, I realized it wasn't my fault, but these thoughts still remained deep in my heart. And I will carry it with myself for a long time.

Here I am again, thinking about these things. These are those moments, when I need to clear my head. My solution for it is going out into the chilly air with my bike, cutting through the wind with the highest speed my bike can handle. The feeling of it being night, and I'm alone with Toothless, speeding through unknown streets, I feel like it's just me and my bike in this whole world. It’s like therapy for me. It just…understands me, just like the feeling you get while listening to music; sometimes you listen to a sad song, it makes you sad, it just describes your feelings, but if you are happy and you listen to that exact same song, it'll bring happy tears out of you.

  I was going around the city aimlessly, when suddenly I saw a bunch of bikers headed somewhere. That's when I realized they were going to the competition. My heart started to beat quickly. I started inhaling and exhaling slowly, just the thought of racing made my blood boil, my skin itch, awakening my body like nothing else.

And as I kept following after them, suddenly I realized I arrived to the location of the competition. It was really my subconscious taking over, driving me here. I slowed down a little. There were a lot of people around crowding the bikers, watching their unique motorcycles. Some background music accompanied the sound of the engines as it melted together, creating an intriguing melody. The atmosphere here were totally different compared to the one in the big city. Back there it was just serious faces, who hated each other. But here, I only saw smiles and laughs even between the racers as it seemed like everyone looked at each other friendly, not viewing the other as the enemy.

I stopped my bike, turning the engine off after having parked it. I noticed some curious eyes on me. I didn't know what to do now, I was totally alone. I didn’t know anyone, but I needed to fight my anxiety as I took my helmet off. My helmet always gave me safety, kept me unknown, and that's what I always wanted.

When I stepped next to my bike, someone immediately caught me into a hug. It was Yunho. He lifted me up in the air and smiled.

"Oh my God, you are here, Y/N!" He said excitedly, putting me down.

I laughed, "Yes, I am. I don't know how exactly, I was out for a ride, and then I found myself here."

I said placing my helmet down on my bike.

"I am so happy you are here." Yunho said, his smile never disappearing.

"Yeah, I can see that." I chuckled looking at his bright face.

"Will you sign up for the competition?" He asked me with curious eyes.

I sighed, "I'm here so—I guess?"

I lifted my hands into the air, shrugging.

"Yes!" Yunho fist bumped the air happily, making me chuckle.

He then led me to a person at which I needed to sign up for the competition. I didn't know who I was going to compete against, just until Choi San came to sign up as well. I had already finished signing up as I stood aside with Yunho, while he leaned towards me and quietly started to introduce each racer.

"Did you know that we are going to race against each other, princess?" San said, throwing a quick glance my way with his sharp eyes, signing the paper in front of him. I checked him out very quickly, hoping nobody would notice. He was wearing his typical leather jacket but with a black T-shirt underneath, and ripped jeans this time. His black hair fell into his eyes as he finished filling out the paper. Every woman very noticeably thirsted after him, and I wasn't an exception…he’s fucking hot. What a shame he has a shitty personality.

I rolled my eyes and ignored him, tuning to face Yunho, who was talking to some guy I didn't know. Did San really not understand that I didn’t want to talk to him?

"I want to race against her." I heard San's voice coming from behind me. I turned around to look at him annoyed.

"You can’t get rid of me so fast." He winked at me, that fucker.

"I will, on the track." I smiled at him sweetly, turning around again as I went back to my bike with Yunho, adrenaline slowly starting to course through my body. I had to win this, I had to wipe that confident smile off of San's face.

The race started, it was a drag racing, meaning three bikers were lined on the starting point, it was a shorter straight section, then as the lights turned green from red, you just needed to shift the gears up as perfectly as you could. The first who reaches the finish line wins. Speed mattered only here, and how detailed you are about the gearing.

A few bikers were already done with the race, and I watched them curiously. Slowly, it was our turn to race. People were loud and they cheered whenever their favorites won.

I rolled over to the starting point. One guy was already there and I found out that I'm going to race against San and a guy named Hongjoong, whose nickname was the Devil. I didn't know him, but Yunho said he is one of the most well-known bikers in the town. He had a Honda CBR. His bike was sick, it was bright red and the owner sitting on it with his red helmet really looked like the Devil himself, I get why they call him that.

As I rolled next to him, I glanced towards my right as he was there. He looked at me and bowed his head, I did the same. It was a sign of respect. I liked the guy already.

San arrived to my left side with his Suzuki GSX, painted also with a very dark red, reminding me of blood, mixed with some black. These guys weren't playing, their bikes were absolute monsters. I could almost hide with Toothless, but my bike was almost on the same level as theirs, so I saw hope in winning this.

When the announcer spoke, saying our names and a few things about our motorbikes, I slowly started to focus on the task at hand. I did not hear anything else, just my fast-beating heart. I fixed my eyes ahead, breathing in and out. The engine sounds pushed away the crowd’s noise. The red light suddenly switched green, and I quickly lifted my left foot off the ground, concentrating on the perfect timing of the gearing, bending over a little to adjust with the speed. From the outside it looks like three bikes quickly reach the finish line, but when you are the driver, it feels like the longest minutes of your life.

At the beginning the three of us were head-to-head, then I was the one who was leading. I could feel the victory coursing through my bloodstream already. But suddenly, I heard a puffing noise from my engine, and it stopped without any warning. My bike started to slow, the thoughts of winning long forgotten.

'Shit, shit, no, no, no, no, no!' I mumbled to myself. I could barely stop; my bike was still resonating.

The two other racers quickly passed by me, leaving me with my broken bike. I glanced forward and saw San reaching the finish line first. I was so fucking close. I hit my bike angrily, and got off it to push it over to the side. This is the worst feeling ever, when you are so close that you can already feel the win, but then something out of your control happens and it’s not your fault, you can’t do anything about it, you’re only left with cursing the world, asking, 'Why me?'

I could feel something was faulty with my bike, but I didn't think it was this bad. I heard someone running my way. It was Yunho, and when he reached me, he leaned his hands on his knees, catching his breath.

"Fuck, what happened?" He asked straightening up, still breathing quickly from running.

"I don't know, the engine just stopped working." I kicked my bike. I loved Toothless, but when it did things like this, I felt like I was going to throw it out.

Yunho came closer to my bike, to try and see what the problem was. He crouched down to take a closer look as I stood next to him, using the flash of my phone to help him see better. I heard an engine slowing down next to us. Of course it was San, he took his black helmet off, smiling at me deviously.

"Daddy's money wasn't enough for a normal motor? It’s called karma, princess.” He said with a death glare, smirking annoyingly. “This is because you fucking pushed me into the pool."

Why the hell did he enjoy spitting out words that made no sense at all?

I could feel my blood boiling, my biggest desire at the moment being the want to punch that confident smile off his annoying face. I was so close doing it, I swear to God, I was ready to punch him hard, but that little sanity I was clinging on to did not let it happen. I always had problems controlling my anger. But slowly, I learned to handle it. I learned how to manage these feelings, so I just let it bounce off of me.

"Next time I’m going to push you into the sea, if you don’t stop being an asshole. Go, celebrate your fucking win, you really deserve it." I said, staring at him with deadly eyes.

"Your wish is my command, Princess." He saluted with a smirk, and then placed his helmet back on, driving away with his annoyingly loud engine. I scoffed as I watched him roll away.

"I think I'm going to call my dad, there's no hope in fixing it." I sighed. I'm going to get into so much trouble now. I was forbidden from racing, my dad won't be happy, I'm sure. But it is what it is. At least the cops didn't show up this time.

I called my dad and told him what happened. I was nervous of how he would react. To my surprise, his first question was about my well-being. He said he was coming.

While I was waiting alone for my dad—I told Yunho that he could since my dad was coming— Hongjoong stopped by my side, taking his helmet off. His blonde hair fell into his face as he ruffled his hair. He was damn handsome, he looked so soft, the opposite of his nickname.

"Everything alright?" He asked, his eyes full of understanding.

"Not really, my engine is broken, so yeah…" I said with a sad smile.

"Can I help you with anything?" He looked at me as if he really understood what I was feeling right now.

"No, thank you, I'm waiting for my dad to pick us up." I pointed at my bike.

"Okay, such a shame this happened. It was a good race." He smiled at me and then reached his fist towards me.

"Yeah, it could’ve be a good one." I fist bumped him, smiling.

"Next time perhaps then." He winked at me sweetly, "If you need any help, I'mma be around." He put his helmet back on.

"Okay, thank you." I smiled at him sincerely.

He rolled away quickly, leaving me there with my thoughts. Now, that's what I'm talking about. Why aren't there more people like him on Earth? He looks like an angel, not like the devil I suppose he is—on track. I was intrigued, I wanted to get to know him better. San could really learn a thing or two from him.

  My dad arrived after a few minutes and we quietly placed my bike up on the trailer. As we were headed home, silence settled around us. I could feel he was pissed.

"I'm sorry." I said, looking straight ahead at the road, not wanting to see his disappointed expression.

"What did you think?" He started, "That you would race and I wouldn’t ever find out about it? It's a little town, Y/N, you already know how fast rumors spread here."

He glanced at me for a second.

"I know, I didn’t think, I just miss racing." Tears appeared in my eyes. "Please don't tell mom. She will send me to Azkaban after this."

Call it a defense mechanism, a trauma response, but I had always been like this…joking in serious situations.

I glanced at him and saw a very small smile appear on his lips, "I won't tell her, but it was very bold of you to race again. You can't do that, you know it, it'll have consequences."

He lectured me.

"Yeah, I know. Thank you for not telling mom." I said, relief spreading through my body.

"But you're still punished. You have to help me in the car service after school." He said glancing at me with a serious look.

"Okay, and maybe we could fix my bike too?" I said, glancing at him with a smile.

My father smiled back, "Maybe after we fixed some cars, we could check it out next week."

I clapped happily, "Thank you!"

The rest of the ride until we got home was quiet, I was happy my father was this understanding. I thought as soon as he finds it out, he'll send me back to mom, passing me between each other like I was a tennis ball. But to my surprise, it was the opposite, and I really didn't mind working in the car service. At least we could spend some more time together. I hoped we could fix our relationship, alongside with the cars, of course.

  My days went by and they all were quite the same. I attended my classes at university, then my whole afternoon went by fixing cars with my father. He managed to teach me a lot of things about cars, even though my world was all about motorbikes I was always interested in cars too. I was planning on buying a car, but I needed to put that aspiration aside for a while. My priority was fixing my bike so I could finally ride it.

We checked out my bike and we found out that my engine was overheated, and that's why it shut down. An engine upgrade was needed, and we changed the turbo as well while we were at it. It was going to be even more powerful than before; I was so excited to finally try it out. On some days, Yunho and Mingi would come by the car service to check on me, and they even started helping me out in fixing my bike. We started getting closer, we laughed a lot in between the late-night repairing.

Yunho and Mingi invited me to watch their races, which were going to be held today. I had never been to races like this one before, so I happily accepted the invitation. I could finally try my bike out as I was headed to the race. It felt so good riding it again after a while. I felt like I could breathe again. I think I had gotten addicted to this feeling.

The race was held at the race track of the town, in the afternoon. The sun was slowly going down as I rode my bike, painting my black bike and helmet with the shade of dark orange.

When I arrived to the track, there were lots of people being excited about the race. It was a drag race again, but with cars this time. I looked around and I saw different types of cars, each looking very sick and unique. I started to feel excited as I was rolling down between the cars, searching for Yunho's parked car.

Then, I suddenly recognized someone with a blonde hair. He noticed me and started walking towards me with a smile. I stopped and took off my helmet.

"Fixed your bike, huh?" Hongjoong approached me with a genuine smile.

"Yeah, finally." I pet my bike with a smile.

"I'm glad, we shall try it out some day." He said with his white teeth flashing.

"We shall." I smiled back at him. I would wholeheartedly race with him again.

"Are you racing?" I asked with a frown.

"No, I came to watch, I won't betray my beast." He laughed sweetly. I swear to God, his laugh was like music to my ears, "You came to watch too?"

"Yeah, I've never been to races like this one before." I said, feeling excited.

"We can watch it together; I know the best place where we can watch it from." Hongjoong offered with a sweet smile.

"Okay." I accepted his offer quite easily, "But first, I want to wish Yunho and Mingi good luck."

"Come, you can put your bike down there, I’ll show you where they are." He pointed towards my right, where I could park my bike.

I pushed my bike to the designated area, and brought my helmet with myself. I did not want to leave my treasure there. Hongjoong lead the way to where Yunho's blue GT-R was parked, next to Mingi's orange Supra. These two cars next to each other looked so good. I was very tempted to take a picture of them.

I approached Yunho and hugged him from behind, surprising him. He laughed, "You came, finally."

"I would never miss it." I smiled looking up at him. He was wearing his racing suit with colors that matched his car. His hair was lazily brushed over his forehead, almost reaching his eyes.

I hugged Mingi too, the top part of his orange racing suit lazily hung around his waist, a white T-shirt underneath. This orange clothing suit him very well, highlighting his blonde buzz cut. They looked handsome. What is it today, everyone is looking so good?!

"I'm going to be in the crowd, watching you guys, good luck. Fighting!" I smiled and hugged them both again. Hongjoong also wished them good luck, resorting to giving them high-fives.

"Thanks, we'll try." Yunho said laughing.

We then walked to the spot Hongjoong mentioned before. It was really a good one, we could see everything from here. The crowd started to cheer as the first cars appeared on the track. It was a 2v2. Yunho was the first one, competing against a Mitsubishi Lancer. It was going to be hard to beat that car, but Yunho did not disappoint, and he won with a lot of advantage. Every minute counted here; they were measuring the time up until you crossed the finish line. Time mattered here as it could beat your opponent.

After a lot of quick races, the sun went down, street lamps were lighting the track up, the crowd cheering loudly. We laughed a lot with Hongjoong, and he explained the rules of the races we were witnessing. I finally felt happy after a long time, I loved the atmosphere here.

That is until someone sat next to me.

"Now you’re into cars too? Tell your stepdad to send you a car, a broken one perhaps." San said, looking at me with those fucking annoying sharp eyes of his.

Every time he appears, my mood is fucked, "I will, now leave me the fuck alone."

I had said not looking at him.

San laughed, "Not until we're racing with equal chances."

"Oh, so now you admit it wasn't a fair win for you?" I looked at him with a glare.

"No, I would've won anyways. I just wanted to see how much you could push. But your bike said, nah. I bet it'll fall apart again." He said, leaning closer to me.

My blood started boiling, it was one thing if I was the one saying shit about Toothless, but him spitting out these words about my bike were not allowed. Ever. San was provoking me, and I knew it, I fucking knew it, yet…

"Come, I'll fucking beat you this time." I looked at him with blazing eyes, starring at him sharply.

He stood up smiling, "It'll be my pleasure, princess."

He put his right hand on his heart and bowed.

Oh, how I would hit him in the face, I had nightmares about that fucking confident smile.

I stood up, Hongjoong grabbed my hands to make me look at him, "It's not the best time going out there, Y/N."

He said with concern in his voice.

"I don't care, I want to wipe that confident smile off his face." I was long gone, there was no chance of anyone convincing me doing otherwise.

Hongjoong stood up, looking at me with concern, "But please be careful, call me if anything happens."

He held my hands, he really looked concerned.

"Don't worry, savior. I'll keep her safe." San glared at Hongjoong with the deadliest stare I've ever seen.

Hongjoong stepped closer to San, letting go of my hands. "If anything happens to her because you’re a fucking idiot and your ass is just itchy, you'll regret it, I promise."

Hongjoong stared back at San, and in this moment, he really looked like the Devil. I stood between them as they were eyeing each other, glaring with their noses flared.

Whoa, whoa, hold on a second, what was happening right now—

"Okay, guys, stop! Let's not waste any more time and get this shit over." I looked at San, losing my patience.

He winked at me and then smiled, his dimples appearing. Did I just notice he has dimples?

He did not wear his usual black leather jacket tonight; it was a leather jacket with some red on its sleeves and on the waist with white lines. On the front there was a writing 'SUZUKI', referring to his motorbike being the same brand. I’m not going to lie; he looked hot as fuck.

We walked over to our bikes, which were parked next to each other. I sat on my bike.

"So where are we going? You know this town." I looked over to my left side to meet San's gaze.

"There's a freeway not far from here. There’ll be traffic, but it’s more exciting that way." He smirked.

I started my engine and reached my hand out, motioning to him to show me the way. We both placed our helmets on, and then it was game on from there on. There was no turning back anymore.

I followed San, turning on unknown streets, it was barely a five-minute ride. We stopped where the freeway began.

"The winner is who gets to the end of the freeway first. It's not that long." He told me through his helmet, being on my left side.

I just nodded, it was late into the evening, but the cars ahead of us were countless. It was a three-lane road, people might’ve been going home from work, because there were a lot of cars. We lined up at the side of the road, in front of the red light. San pointed at that, signaling that if it turns green, we start. I started to reeve the engine, my legs in starting position with my eyes focused on the road ahead of me, counting the cars, and analyzing how could I pass by them. Adrenaline crawled through me; my skin covered in goosebumps. I have never felt like this before, I was so hyped about winning this. I had to win this.

The red light suddenly changed to green, and I quickly lifted my foot off the ground, bending over my bike and shifting up. We slid through the cars like the river runs through the rocks. We were two quick arrows passing by the cars, wheezing from left to right. At first, we were head-to-head, but I got lucky and I could pass by a big truck very quickly. San wasn't that lucky, he stayed behind a little. We arrived to a tunnel; sudden strong light hit my eyes. Traffic was lesser here, so, San quickly caught up with me. The sound of our engines were so loud that its echo bounced of the tunnel’s walls. It was like music, the two-engine sound melting into each other. I'm not going to lie, I was enjoying it so much as I have never felt like this before, it was the definition of freedom. I quickly glanced at San and he lifted his arms, giving me a thumps up, then quickly passed by me. But I did not let that happen, I went after him. We arrived to the end of the tunnel, sudden darkness hitting me now, my eyes needed a few minutes to adopt to the dark again. As cars were in front of us, I quickly took the chance to go in between two cars, and I was leading again. Until I suddenly saw red and blue lights flashing from behind.

Shit, shit, no, not again—

It felt like my heart was about to jump out of my chest, it was beating so fast. I can't get caught again, no way. I started to panic, and suddenly all strength escaped my body as I started to slow down. I couldn’t think straight as all thoughts left my mind seeing those colors again, getting flashbacks of that night. The lights, then being pushed straight into the cop’s hands, my friends running away, leaving me alone. San was suddenly next to me.

"Hey, Y/N, don't slow down, we need to lose them! I know a shortcut, follow me!" He yelled over the sounds of our engines and through his helmet, as I suddenly was back from the flashback as I looked behind me, seeing as the cops getting closer and closer.

I just nodded, suddenly feeling my strength coming back to me. There's no way they will catch me again. I quickly followed after San, passing by the cars, the police still following us, getting closer. San turned right onto a street, then left. We went through alleys and little streets, where only a bike would fit. I had no idea where were we, but I didn't care, because it seemed like San's plan was working and the red and blue lights were now far away from us. Suddenly, San turned left and went inside an abandoned factory's court. He quickly stopped and turned off the engine, signaling for me to do the same. I rolled next to him, and switched the key to turn off the engine. I glanced behind my back, I didn't see any signs of the police, but I still felt like I couldn’t breathe. I took off my helmet quickly, starting to inhale and exhale quickly.

"Fuck." I ran my fingers through my hair stressed, pulling it away from my face.

"Come, let's go inside, bring your bike too." San said, getting off his bike as he started pushing it towards the building.

As I got off my bike, I was shaking, the adrenaline was still in my blood. We brought our bikes inside and I needed to sit quickly. I sat down, pressing my back against my bike, lifting my knees up to my chest.

"I think they're gone." San sat down, doing the same as me.

He glanced over me, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." I said, still not looking at him.

"Are you really that scared of the cops?" I could hear it in his voice that he was smiling.

"San, this is really not the time where you can say shit like that." I glanced over at him. I guess he saw my expression, because his face changed.

"Sorry, I didn’t—" We lifted our heads up as we heard the siren sounds. The red and blue lights lit the walls of the factory, and my heart dropped to my stomach.

"Shit, shit, they are coming here." I stood up, San did too. But suddenly, I heard the sirens getting further and further away. I let out the big breath I was holding this whole time.

"They just passed by, idiots." San laughed.

I glanced over at him in disbelief, and sat down again next to my bike.

San mirrored me, "We need to wait a little, though, so they will give up searching for us."

"You were in these kinds of situations a lot, huh?" I asked San, staring ahead into the darkness.

"Kinda, that's why I knew what to do." He said sighing. Quiet fell over us as we both were thinking, probably not about the same things as he spoke up, "But I don't get it. What did you do that you got almost arrested? Did you crash your bike and kill someone?”

He looked at me frowning. I scoffed at him; I really couldn’t believe he was like this.

"You don't know anything about me, so please stop assuming things when you don't know shit." I stared at him angrily, "It's making me feel sick, San. I'm so fucking tired of your comments, what did I do to you for you to behave like this with me?"

I asked him, looking his way then at my hands, "I was just fucking racing because I love to do so. Why is that so bad? Don’t you do the same thing, San? I’ve got arrested because my friends left me there, so I was blamed for that whole mess, on my own. So, please, ask before you talk shit."

There was a minute of silence, "Fuck, I didn't know, Y/N. I don't fucking know why I'm an asshole with you. It is so easy to piss you off."

I glanced at him; he was staring ahead as he ran his fingers through his raven black hair.

"And you are enjoying this?" I scoffed at him in disbelief.

"Of course I don’t, it’s just—" He turned my way, "Lately I did it just because I wanted to race against you and I thought if I provoke you, then you'll come. I know it sounds stupid, but don't say you didn't like it."

He seemed nervous a little. Choi San being nervous, interesting.

"I did enjoy it, San. But what the hell, why couldn't you just ask me nicely if I wanted to come with you? I would've, if you weren't such an asshole.” I looked at him, “And our bickering or whatever did not start here.”

"Yeah…I know." He looked down at his hands, "When we were kids you suddenly just got cold and pushed me away like I was some garbage. I was a little kid, it hurt."

He admitted. I didn’t recognize this San, this softer, nicer, side of him was strange to me.

"I was a little kid too. Kids are mean, you just had a weak heart." I said to him, "That does not mean you have to be an asshole your whole life, because I mistreated you when we were fucking kids. This is it, San. You need to adapt to some situations; you have to let go of foolish things at times."

I looked at him seriously.

"Forgive me for being such an asshole, you did not deserve it. I just tried to blame other people for my weaknesses." He admitted, and for a second, he looked vulnerable. But it vanished away quickly.

And suddenly we started sharing about our lives, the cops long forgotten, things that we didn't know about the other. I could see the side of him, which he rarely let anyone see. He could be really goofy, we laughed together, trying to recall the ridiculous situations we were in when we were just kids.

"And just so you know, I bought my bike, not someone else. I worked for it, for years. I took shift after shift, because I wanted something. You know…it hurt when you said those things to me." I suddenly felt like I had to tell him how much he stabbed a knife into my heart that day.

"Fuck this, this whole situation is ridiculous." He scoffed, his voice getting weaker. "I'm so fucked up. I'm so fucking tired of adapting to what people expect of me. I did this my whole life."

I looked at him as he buried his face into his palms.

Silence fell over the chilly air as San seemed to be on edge, while he quietly sniffed. I couldn’t believe that San was crying. It came out of the blue; I did not understand the cause of it.

Suddenly, I slipped next to him. I just wanted to hug him, he looked so broken. So, I went closer to him, still sitting on the ground, and hugged him tightly as he scooted closer to me and buried his face into my neck.

"It's okay, San. Sometimes life can be too much. Just let it out." I stroked his back patiently. I felt some tears falling onto my neck.

 I couldn’t believe I was hugging Choi San right now, but I have always been like this. I don't care if he harmed me, if he needs a shoulder to cry on in his most vulnerable moment, then I’m going to be there for him because no one deserves to be alone in these moments.

"I'm so tired, I'm sick of this pain…" He mumbled into my neck, sobbing a bit, "After my mom died—"

"Your mom died?" I lifted his head from my neck, cupping his face with my hands. I looked at him with round eyes. I didn't know his mother died; I was shocked.

"Yeah, right after you moved away..." He said, looking into my eyes with his puffy ones. He seemed empty, he seemed like he wasn't feeling anything at all, "She had cancer, she…She struggled a lot…and I was alone, I needed someone to be there for me, I tried…I really tried." He said, his voice getting quieter.

I did not want to believe what I just heard, his mom was an angel, everyone liked her when she stepped on the stage alongside with the town’s major. They looked like true leaders. I always looked up to her, and now she’s gone.

"Oh my God, I didn't know, San. I'm sorry for your loss.” I blinked away my own tears as I wiped away his, “If I would've known—"

I felt a bit overwhelmed.

Suddenly his expression changed, it seemed like he had realized what he had done in the last few minutes. He locked his feelings away, again. He thought he showed too much of his weaker, softer, side and suddenly, he started closing off, just like I used to do. The old San was coming back. He pushed my hands away from his face aggressively, not looking at me.

"Whatever, I don't need your pity." He stared ahead, and leaned back against his bike, lifting his knees up to his chest.

I scoffed, "What did I do now?”

I blinked at him, not understanding the sudden mood change, “Okay, you can't be helped. I tried, I really tried to be nice with you, but you are impossible."

I stood up, "I think the cops are long gone, let's get the fuck out of here." I pushed my bike outside not waiting for San. I sat on my bike, starting the engine. San arrived next to me, with his bike.

"I'm sorry, Y/N." He looked at me with sincerity, but I did not fall for it.

"Yeah, me too, have a good night." I said with a disappointed look and I put my helmet on to drive away quickly. I just needed to get as far away as possible from him.

  Weeks passed since that night. I tried to avoid San as much as I could. I just couldn't face him; I was so tired of his games. There were a few occasions when he tried to talk to me, but I just ignored him. It's not that I don't understand him, I do, I know what he's been through…at least I can imagine. That night, I tried to see his good side, but he did not let me in. And it hurt, because I knew he needed someone, and I would've been by his side. But he suddenly decided to push me away. He closed himself off, stayed in the dark, not allowing me to light his path for a way out. I really felt hopeful for a second that he could change, that he would lower his walls and let me in. But no, he'll just never change, so I gave up on hoping. At least I thought so, but these past days I just couldn't get him out of my mind. When I closed my eyes, I saw him as he smiled at me in for that few minutes when we were freely talking about ourselves. I'm not going to lie, I liked that side of San, it was so pure. And I would've never thought I was going to say such things about Choi San. But he made me feel strange things.

It was late into the night when I was still in the car service. A car needed to be fixed by tomorrow and I told my dad he could rest, he has worked all day long and I could see he was really tired, so I wanted to fix this car by tomorrow. The weather seemed like it would rain soon, lighting striking every few minutes.

Suddenly, I heard an engine sound from outside. I frowned, who it is this late? I opened up the garage door and I found myself facing a soaked San, getting off his Suzuki, staring at me the whole time. His clothes were starting to soak through, the raindrops falling off from his leather jacket. It had started pouring badly; I haven’t even realized it. My heart was beating fast. He took off his helmet, his hair immediately getting wet. San ran his fingers through his hair.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him without any emotion.

"I just want to talk to you, Y/N. Please, let me take you to a place." He looked at me with pleading eyes.

"In this weather, San, seriously?" I pointed out, still standing under the garage, safe from the pouring rain.

"It'll stop in a few minutes." He said his, black clothes soaked now, waterdrops falling off his face. 

"How do you know? Are you a weather expert now too?" I asked frowning. I was just as hostile as he once was towards me.

He chuckled and ran his fingers through his hair again. "I deserved that. Just like the pool."

He looked at me again. I could see a lot of regret in his eyes.

"That night, I closed myself off because your face reminded me of all the people who pitied me back then, when she died. I was only 11 years old, and I got sick of seeing those faces, it always reminded me of her death."

He started to tear up, his voice getting weak again, "Please, Y/N, forgive me. I know I fucked up everything, I just—you—you drive me crazy and I can't behave around you. I feel like when I'm near you I’ll lose my mind, like I’m not myself anymore. I said a lot of shitty things to you, and I judged you a lot even though I didn't know anything about you. I want to change that, I want to know you better, Y/N. I want to let you in, I'll do that if you also want it, but I hope you won't be scared of what you'll see."

I saw as teardrops fell down on his face, but the rain immediately washed it away, his voice cracking from the flow of emotions.

My heart wanted to jump out of my chest. I didn't except him to say things like these to me, "I'm not scared, San, to see your dark side. I never was, and I never will be."

Tears started to appear in my eyes, to my surprise, "You said some hurtful things to me, but I get it, I really do. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, but I was just so shocked, I didn't know…I didn't know, San."

I started to sob, tears falling from my face.

"I know, I know, baby." He stepped closer to me as he reached out for my hands pulling me out into the rain, into his chest. I cried into his chest as he rubbed my back up and down, my clothes and my hair soaked. I should’ve been the one comforting him, but in the end, I was the one sobbing like a little girl into his chest.

We stood in the heavy rain; our clothes wet, my hair sticking to my forehead yet he still hugged me like he never wanted to let me go. Caressing my back, he kissed the top of my head. I tried to inhale and exhale, so I could finally speak.

"I forgive you, and also I'm sorry." I whispered to him, lifting my head up from his chest.

He didn't let me go, his left hand was on my waist and he reached his right hand up to my cheeks to wipe off my tears, but they were wet again with tears and raindrops. "It's okay, don't cry, please, because then I'll cry too."

He smiled at me with the sincerity I've never seen before. His eyes were saying so much, it hurt. He finally let me in, allowed me to see his real self.

I laughed at that, and he followed suit, laughing together at this predicament, "Look at us, soaked like wet rats."

He smiled at me, never taking his sharp eyes off me.

Then suddenly his expression became serious, he stared at me as if I was his treasure, wanting to bury me, so no one could take me away, "I want to know you better, I want to know everything about you. What you like, what you don't, what is your favorite color, what do you like to eat, what you did while you were gone from here, what does it feel like to ride your bike…I want to know you, and never let you go."

He said, his hand still on my cheek, accompanied by his other one.

I smiled at him. I felt so happy at that exact moment, I didn't care if I was soaked, I only saw him, "Me too."

I said quietly.

He leaned closer to me, his lips almost touching mine, "Can I kiss you?"

He whispered against my lips sweetly.

Chills ran through my body. I never wanted anything more than him kissing me. I just nodded; words long forgotten. He closed the distance between us, and when our lips finally met, there was a loud thunder rumbling the world, lighting flashing around us and rain pouring from above, washing away our past where we said a lot of stupid things to each other. We could start with a clear page, melting our futures together. Our lips never stopped moving, it felt like heaven and hell met with each other as our lips moved against the other’s, just like when we were racing, both of us tried to win the other over. I welcomed San's darkness wholeheartedly and tried to scare it away with my light.

Then suddenly the rain stopped, and we separated from each other, looking up at the sky. The clouds were gone and the full moon was shining so brightly it looked like it was almost daylight.

I chuckled looking up, "You should apply to be a weatherman."

San was gazing at me so lovingly I felt like I was going to melt right there, "See? Now you can come with me, I want to show you something."

He held my hands.

"Okay, I should bring my bike then." I smiled at him, feeling as happiness crawled into my chest.

"It would be more proper if I was the one taking you there, but I want to race you." He held my waist and pecked my lips a few times. I still needed to get used to this San. I really liked it.

"I'm going to beat you." I scrunched my nose cutely.

"Okay, princess, but first, go change. I don't want you to catch a cold." He caressed my cheekbones.

"I'll bring you some clothes of dad’s, you'll catch a cold too otherwise." I kissed him quickly and then went inside the house, smiling like a fool, to grab some dry clothes.

  It was the middle of the night, but two engine sounds cut through the late-night life. We were going up on winding roads, forests covering both sides of the road. I was laughing beneath my helmet as San goofed around, slowing down and then speeding again. I think I have never felt more happier than right now. It was pure freedom going through these curvy roads, racing against each other. But in the end, it was just the two of us sharing our passion, riding our motorbikes, the moon shining upon us brightly, guiding our roads, showing our future ahead of us.

I finally knew I belonged somewhere, to someone. It was my hometown, and Choi San.