#churchy talks

[churchydragon]

I'M BACK IN THE FUCKING BUILDING AGAIN

[churchydraws]

once I DO finally make a signature I like that will be a pain from scrapers to remove I'm making the final choice to move my CSS boys out of SAMS entirely. the fandom is extremely toxic outside of the small circle of friends I've made. I've lived this kind of bullshit when I was in the Rebornica fandom before as a teen, and I'm not having a repeat. when it isn't people attacking other people for not shipping an incest ship, it's the show itself having bad writing and the fandom attacking each other for other reasons. I'm fuckin gone bro these people are insane.

[artoutoftheblue]

I need all my moots to tell me the names of y'alls aus real quick and the aus that those aus are involved with. I'm trying to make the map of universes showing where they branch off of (not including different outcomes in this map atm) and it's taking me forever to remember them all

[skellybonesandtrees]

long time friend of the family and self proclaimed pastor sent me belated bday wishes through my mom's phone, even though he has my number. i almost thanked him, just to be polite, if not for the bit where he said he prayed "god worked on my soul." that's when the thanks fell honestly. like no, ty.

[justthatspiffy]

i'm a closeted pseudognostic

[scum-belina]

The amount of "well I haven't experienced anything spiritual/supernatural so it must not be real" people are too damn high

[cantankerouscatfish]

one of the florists was talking the other day about how there was a team of people fixing up the ceiling of a churchy building. the big kind, with paintings covering the interior. and one of the repair people asked one of the church people, “what’s the deal with the lady carrying a head on a plate?” “that’s not-- no, that’s, like, a roast or something.” “I have my face six inches from the ceiling. it’s a head.”

and it wasn’t the usual (?) “church lady holding a severed head,” it was in fact a SECOND, DIFFERENT LADY. fun!

[nelson-riddle-me-this]

I really do find rock so generally alienating

[japhan2024]

Review of Smosh's Funeral Roast

I am harsh at times, but know it all comes from a place of love!

Spoilers under the cut

I live in Europe. This is relevant because of timezones: the funeral roast of Anthony Padilla was live at 6pm for them, meaning 3am for me. I am not the youthful insomniac I once was so I had to train my sleep schedule the entire week - otherwise I would miss it because I fell asleep. But I wanted to witness this live. I love smosh.

The trailer for this roast deserves an award: Ian and the cast have a movie night as suddenly the light turns blue and everyone but Ian freezes. He seems to know what's going on and discovers a zombie or ghost like Anthony levitating. The cast of the roast are all introduced and all play a gothic, churchy kind of character. See the full trailer here (it's currently at 666k views, how fun):

Around 1am I got impatient and decided not to wait for my alarm clock but to install myself on the couch, with a blanket and a scarf, and a hot cup of tea, god knows I would need it. I watched episodes of the Scott Pilgrim Netflix series to kill the time. The character Todd Ingram reminded me a lot of Anthony and I wonder whether Anthony has 'vegan superpowers' as well. Probably so.

Finally, the pre-show begins. This is pretty uneventful as they play a game and succesfully convince thousands of viewers to buy their tickets to the main show. I look at them. Everyone is gorgeous. But I can't look away from Ian and Anthony. And here is where I stray from actually reviewing the show to let my inner fangirl out: holy fuck they are hot. Me and my friends on tumblr have been making 'forgive me Father, for I have SINNED' jokes because his character, 'the pastor', just brings that out in people. We're not used to Ian in black, or in a robe, and he looks phenomenal. And then there is Anthony, clothed in a ridiculous Harry Styles-esque lace top with lace gloves, resting his head on Ian's shoulder. It's such a cute moment, Ian pushes him upright. He can be alive for a second before his funeral. My heart melts. Honerable mention: Courtney's bikini girl cleavage right behind Ian. The girls were ready to rock. Okay, okay, back to the review.

The room feels kind of small and a bit claustrophobic. The Smosh art dept. always steps up, so the stained glass "friendship never dies" high-five looks incredible, and the megachad-Anthony portrait hilarious. The casket is huge. But the props make the set look even smaller. I think the problem is the cameras. I realize how difficult camerawork is when you have multiple focus points to switch between, but next time they should do a lot of practice with this to streamline, to get everyone in the shot and better capture people's reactions to the roasts.

Ian walks in. He starts off with a bit about who Anthony is: a hot, hardworking guy with a big dick. Those are the main takeaways of his roasts.

Amanda is next. She looks beautiful but very wacky. Her deliverance and accent are stellar, though. She truly is top talent at Smosh. Her roasts are also some of the most scorching of the night. She doesn't shy away from calling out Anthony's past problematic behavior and less than stellar performance in the bedroom ("look it up!") She gets a round of applause and deservedly so.

Tommy follows with a kind of angry roast, and proceeds to read the will, from which nobody comes away unscathed. I feels like his words about Anthony supposedly hating the cast are a necessary evil. Just the same day Anthony posted his interview with Shayne on his personal channel. There we learned that Shayne didn't know before if Ian and Anthony actually had wanted to hire them. Anthony said they were very much involved, something I don't know whether to believe. As apparently, Ian never talked about it with Shayne either, for all those years. Shayne had also been very apprehensive when Anthony came back, not knowing what would happen and the first change was to boot the entire cast off the main channel. I feel like Tommy's roast puts the topic on the table and hopefully they will talk about it more until nobody has any doubt left.

Now I have to insert that one of my main critiques of the night is that lots of people both did a lot of obvious jokes (tattoos, leaving smosh, general appearance) and did not go hard enough. Anthony kind of has an awkward CEO vibe (he's not the ceo but still) about him that seems to make even the cast a bit wary of him. I had hoped for jokes about that.

Brandon Rogers is next and rightfully points out the lack of celebrities in the line-up. Doesn't Anthony have more friends who want to roast him? Either he doesn't or the rest of Smosh don't have access to them. Which is both fine, because it is a Smosh party after all.

Arasha comes in swinging with all kinds of Zoomer slang that I frankly don't understand but her deadpan delivery is like a breath of fresh air. She ends with a very nice message. That kind of undercuts her roasts though, I wish she would have been meaner.

Now it is time for the musical half-time show, which actually deserves its own review. Performed by Angela and Chanse, this is incredible. By far, the most professional part of the evening. These are no theater kids, as they still call themselves. These are Broadway acTORS! I was really taken away by their talent. Not only do they act, but they also sing amazingly? Did you hear Angela do screamo?! And Chanse's riffs? They pointedly mention the sexual tension between Ian and Anthony, both on- and off screen. This has been occupying my mind ever since. Wow, sorry I went fangirl-mode again. But the halftime show simply is that good. Keith makes an appearance at the end and brings the show back down to earth with his humor.

The biggest surprise guests are next in what I can only describe as Dan telling the horny tale of his years long obsession with Anthony, and the many, many times he unloaded on the 'sexy Anthony' calender (which is a real calender, I was there when it came out but was broke at the time, darnit). Dan and Phil have been shedding their PG personas on their own channels for a while now, but for those who don't watch them daily this December - they're doing gamingmas and it's chaos - it is shocking what X-rated stuff comes out of their mouths. Anthony is visibly taken aback. Good!

As the show progresses, Ian keeps moderating as the pastor. It is great to see him so in control and enjoying the roast of his best friend. The joke of Ian not being able to show his emotions comes up a lot, but today I see him mainly just having fun.

Of course, then there is Bikini Girl, whom I had high hopes for, maybe too high. She is hilarious, but nothing really stings. Courtney does also direct the whole show, so super kudos to her. I just don't think she has the best roasts. She is followed by Rhett and Link, who just do their regular thing. It is funny but not very original. You can only hear so many tattoo jokes before it gets old. We do see Link's bare torso, so a win for fangirls (gender neutral).

Then Shayne, or should I say the Chosen has his turn. He is absolutely in character and does great. I just don't know if the Chosen is the best person to deliver roasts. It feels more like a Shayne party than a roast of Anthony. Which enough people love all the same, I'm sure.

Angela is 'the vessel', a possessed girl, reading the roasts from the audience. These roasts are very mid (they should have included mine! /j), but her delivery is again stellar. Smosh is really lucky to have her.

And last but not least, Ian goes on a second roasting spree. Only, it isn't a roast? He just makes fun of Anthony’s baby picture and then proceeds to tell Anthony how grateful he is for him, how he's so glad they are friends again and that he loves him? Anthony is crying by this time, which makes the moment even more tender.

Of course, Anthony has to do a counter-roast. It is apparent that he is still affected by all the roasting or 'love-bombing' as Amanda calls it. And he's not as good at live comedy yet. Still, his jokes are funny and really in Anthony's own style. He concludes with Ian's quote of being happy to burn Smosh to the ground with him. I knew that quote would be ingrained in Anthony's mind. It was one of the sweetest things Ian had ever said to him, after all. Until Ian has now told him he loves him, of course.

And then it was 5 am. I got a healthy two hours of sleep in! I came away from this roast with a content smile and a full heart. This was well worth the ticket, the staying up late. I am happy to be a member and support them monthly, I've loved their humor even before they started their youtube channel. I love Smosh. I'm so happy that Anthony is back. Smosh is whole again. And it brings out that light in Ian's eyes. He is funny in an unhinged way again. I truly love Anthony and Ian and their dumb videos. I want them to continue to make them forever. These kinds of live shows are fun. But Ian and Anthony truly shine in their off the walls absurdist sketches.

Special shout-out to my bestie @only-frann who I could scream at this whole day.

[aviesnapkindoodles]

Ways (that I have tried) to try to make a church/religious community more inclusive:

(This is more my religion/Christian centered, but can be applied to any kind of organization really)

Refer to to all presidents of organizations as president regardless of gender (Relief Society President, Young Women's President, etc.)

Use all inclusive language in scripture / doctrine/talk reading (even if you have to replace a word) (replace son or daughter or gendered language with child, people, or all. 'Children of God vs Sons and Daughters of God).

Don't be afraid to speak up for and add perspective of marginalized people in church community. This doesn't just have to be ethnic or queer minorities, it can extend to divorced, widowed, childless, disabled or converted members.

Recognize biases in self and religious thinking, and try to self-correct in words and deeds.

Reframe conversations that may be hurtful in a 'Love One Another' and Christ and/or God centered way.

(feel free to add on!!)

Edit: Realized in church that making sure we are clarifying all "churchy" language, whenever possible. Like not just saying 'MTC' (Missionary Training Center, to prepare to serve missions), or 'deacon' (young men who hold the first level of the Priesthood).

[churchydragon]

oh abso-fucking-lutely I will

[churchydraws]

I'm not gonna be posting art here anymore. I'm not deleting the blog because it's too much of a hassle, but any art will be posted on my Cohost or Bluesky from now on. might make a Toyhouse at some point as well. Tumblr has sadly proven itself inhospitable to trans people and artists, and I am both.

[artoutoftheblue]

Hi I'm annoying.

I just want to ask. What do you think of my cruel copy AU? Like is it good or just a silly idea? Does the fantasy aesthetic mess with the flow of it all? Idk I need motivation.

I think the concept is very interesting honestly!

[colbyskies]

Lover, You Should've Come Over

1.2k words Bill Kaulitz x male reader Bill and M/n had broken up, months ago. Leaving both of them to wallow in their pity and on M/n’s end—self hatred. Bill wanted to go public, they had an on and off relationship since they were both teenagers, the year was new and Bill was ready to take the next step; coming out. M/n wasn’t, he still isn’t. Coming out is terrifying, especially to an entire fanbase, especially in 2014.

Bill and M/n had broken up, months ago. Leaving both of them to wallow in their pity and on M/n’s end—self hatred. Bill wanted to go public, they had an on and off relationship since they were both teenagers, the year was new and Bill was ready to take the next step; coming out. M/n wasn’t, he still isn’t. Coming out is terrifying, especially to an entire fanbase, especially in 2014. 

It’s been a couple weeks since the release of Tokio Hotels new album, Kings of Suburbia. M/n can tell that there are some songs about him, he’d be lying if he said he hasn’t been writing a song about Bill too. 

He loves him still and he hopes with all his heart that Bill still loves him. 

So as he sits in this radio station, ready to hop on the radio and sing one of his songs live, he second guesses which one he should actually sing. It would be a shot in the dark to sing the song he wrote for Bill, what are the chances that he’s actually listening to the radio right now? Despite it, M/n knows it's now or never, the record label would never sell something where M/n is clearly talking about a male lover. 

“Hello everybody! Today we have M/n with us, he’s going to sing one of his songs!” The broadcaster announces not noticing the way M/n’s body shakes with nerves. “What song are you going to sing?” 

It’s now or never, right? “I’m going to sing a new song that I recently wrote, first ever listen on air.” M/n smiles through his shaking hands, this could be the end of his career.

“Really?!” The broadcaster looks shocked but excited. “Well let's get into it then!”

The second M/n hears the soundtrack to his song playing in the background he knows there's no backing out of it. Everything in his body telling him to turn tail and run goes off in his head like a series of hurricane sirens. He can only hope Bill is listening. 

— — — —

Bill hates to admit it, but he’s stuck on M/n, almost obsessive over what he’s doing and who he’s with. He knows he shouldn’t act like this, he ended things for God’s sake, but he can’t stop himself from tuning the radio to the station he heard M/n was going to be singing on. 

At first he just had it on for background noise, but after hearing M/n is going to be singing a new song, he puts down his notebook and listens.

The sound is strange, nothing Bill has ever heard from M/n before. It’s almost churchy, something that M/n definitely does not lean to. As soon as the intro closes a beautiful melody plays and Bill instantly knows the song will be a sad one. 

“Looking out the door I see the rain fall upon the funeral mourners…” Bill once again finds it to be strange that M/n is singing about this but turns up the volume anyway, loving the sound of his voice. Missing it. 

Bill sits with his knees to his chest, Pumba at his side supporting him. 

“...Maybe I'm too young to keep good love from going wrong, but tonight you're on my mind…” The way his voice sings makes Bill’s chest ache, it sounds so genuine. Each break in his voice breaks down Bill's defenses. 

“...Much too blind to see the damage he's done. Sometimes a man must awake to find that really he has no one…” An apology. Something Bill didn’t know he wanted until this moment. The way his heart fills with warmth at the sound of the discret apology makes him feel shameful for his feelings of breaking up with him. 

Pumba has now gotten up, trying to play with Bill, but the singer rejects him. Feeling the need to focus on everything M/n is saying or singing for that matter. 

“So I'll wait for you, love. And I'll burn. Will I ever see your sweet return? Oh, will I ever learn?” Bill almost chuckles at the last question, something he has said to M/n time and time again during their fights. Fights that Bill now finds to be pointless arguments used to push each other's buttons. 

“Hey Bill, what do you want to eat?” Tom walks into the room asking only to find his brother curled in on himself on the floor, watching the radio like he can see through it to the other side. The older twin is about to ask what is wrong when he hears the familiar voice over through the stereo. A voice both of the twins have grown up with and found to love, the voice of a former friend. 

“...My body turns and yearns for a sleep that won't ever come…” Tom makes his way to Bill before sitting beside him and putting an arm over his shoulders. This break up has been one of the hardest things Tom has to witness his brother going through. Bill even got back into the old habit of sleeping in his brother's room for comfort, scared to be alone after years of falling asleep with a familiar warmth beside him or pressed into him. 

“...My kingdom for a kiss upon his shoulder. It's never over. All my riches for his smiles when I've slept so soft against him…” Bill’s eyes blow wide with shock. “Holy shit… Did he just say he?” Tom could barely talk either, his mouth slack. M/n has always been terrified to reveal anything about his sexuality and now he’s doing it live. He can’t take it back or say it was a slip up of words. He actually took that leap. 

“...It's never over. All my blood for the sweetness of his laughter. It's never over. He is the tear that hangs inside my soul forever…” Suddenly, Bill throws his face into Tom's neck, crying at the words. A simple change of pronouns sending Bill into a fit of sobs. Bill doesn’t even know if he’s happy or sad. He’s happy M/n did it, but they’re not together anymore. M/n isn’t his like he used to be and Bill is so scared he won’t get him back. 

“...Too deaf, dumb and blind to see the damage I've done. Sweet lover, you should've come over. Oh, love, well I've waited for you. Lover, lover, lover. Lover, love, love, love, love, love, love!

Lover, you should've come over 'cause it's not too late.” The emotion in M/n’s voice is evident, the sadness, the yearning, the regret, everything on display for everyone to hear. Bill wishes he could listen to the sweet words on repeat, to hear M/n call him those names once more. To hold him and tell him everything will be okay, but he’s not here with him. 

M/n did this for him. 

— — — —

When the song finishes M/n is rushed out of the station by his manager. His manager yells obscenities at him, but M/n couldn’t care less, this is his life and he wants to live it with Bill. Despite everything, he hopes Bill heard, he hopes Bill still wants this as much as he does. 

All of that is confirmed to be true when he receives a text from ‘Bill <3’ that reads, “Call me.”

There's no need to hide anymore, he loves Bill more than anything and would do anything for him. 

[saltygilmores]

Dance Marathon Episode (Aka Murder On the Dancefloor)-Part 7

I'm not looking forward to the next episode, Let The Games Begin. I only remember small fragments of it, andI know it's almost Literati Kickoff Time and I'm getting nervous. Stall, stall, stall! Oh hey look who it is.

Salty, in her best, nasally Adam Brody voice: One sandweech please. Thinking about @frazzledsoul's headcanon where Dave Rygalski and Max Medina cross paths in California and Max mows Dave down with his car. Dave was really living out Jess' dream. You know what else I keep thinking about the entire time I'm watching this episode? What times these events are taking place. Dave Rygalski is just wandering in fresh faced and bushy tailed at 5am on a Sunday morning to see Lane. He's soooo dreamy. You know what else I'm thinking about? How that bucket of egg salad has been sitting out unrefrigerated for 24 hours and Stars Hollow is about to experience a mass food poisoning the likes of which the town has never seen. No need to worry, On top of the IRS, Child Protective Services, and the Connecticut Labor Board, I'd already added the Connecticut Health Department to my speed dial.

Well isn't that cute. But Alas. Lord Amy giveth, and Lord Amy taketh away.

Dave. Ma'am. Dave: Uh, no, I heard a bunch of people talking about the sandwiches, so I thought I'd come in and try one.

Getting hit by a car would be much quicker and less painful than suffering a slow and agonozing death from e.coli but who am I to play God, I guess. Mrs Kim loads Dave up with sandwiches to bring home to his parents after they return from nearby "Bible Study" (at 5am). Since this is Stars Hollow and everyone is a naive rube, Mrs Kim doesn't question which church or why she doesn't already know these other churchy people in this small town or how it's possible they're outchurching her by waking up at 4am on a Sunday, and totally falls for it. You gotta give it to Dave, he's slick. I'm gonna start calling him Slick Dave. The final opportunity for Lane to at least fake interest in Jess to piss off her mother has just sailed past. Womp womp.

6 minutes left in the episode, ya'll. Buckle in. *heavy, resigned sigh* Rory's about to act like such a salty little b that she's going to... force me to defend Dean. A Salty's gotta do, what a Salty's gotta do…

That's what Dean's parents said about him after his birth.

Shane with the thousand yard stare like her corpse.

Rory Freaking Gilmore! Enough!

I've had it with you.

I'm bored. Okuh. *tonsil hockey* Look, everyone, look at those two kids and how every time you see them they're always sticking their tongues down each other's throats and not talking This is relationship goals, honestly. Rory knows it. This is why she has sand in her panties.

If you've ever wondered whether this actress, Jessica Kiper, knows what a sweet gig it was to get paid to make out with Milo Ventimiglia and say a few lines...she knows. She knows she lived our dream. She has bought it up unprompted many times on social media. You can rub it in our faces, we don't mind. We love you, Queen.

I mean, they've tried. So are you offering? Can they go back to your house and do it in your bed? You're certainly not using it for anything other than sleeping.

They've been there, done that, also in a closet, in the backseat of a car, on the school football field, under the bleachers, in a bathroom...

It was not a telephone pole, it was a tree. You were there, Rory. You were there.

The already dim light in Dean's eyes is fading away. He's thinking, yeah, what is the deal with girls who enjoy sex... I wouldn't know.

Shane wiping the saliva from her mouth is GOLDEN. And yes baby we are always talking about you. If you see me talking at any point in time it is probably about you. Shit, this will have to go into part 8. Bye!

[villainsimpqueen]

Eternal Bloodlines

Adriana tepes/ Alucard x Male Dhampire reader

This fanfic is for 18+ Audience's due to it containing gorey themes and later on smut.

Also available on A03

Chapter 5

It didn't take you long to make it to gresit after you left the caravan of speakers. After speaking to Sye you were curious on how you would find passageways under the church. You sighed as you rubbed your horse's mane.

"I fucking hate churches Haldin." You tell him and your horse let out a huffing sound that almost sounded like a snort and it made you smile just a little. You traveled down the worn roads to greet Gresit's large walls and gates. They were open but the sight of men dragging out dead bodies from various stages of injuries also greeted you.

You rode Haldin past them and into the gates to see many more people trying to clean the dead off of buildings and the ground, some chunking bodies over a bridge that was starting to pile up and stink bringing in insects and rodents. You looked at the piling bodies as Haldins hoofs clanked against the brink bridge moving down the streets.

Such a waste.

You huffed before reaching the center of the town and finding a place to tie your horse up as you moved through the markets. You would start getting the locals gossip before you tried going straight to the church, if anyone knew a way inside without alarming the priest and all the other churchy men the market would be a great place to start.

It was still early morning so it wasn't packed. Market vendors were already trying to set up their stalls, still trying to make a living in these hellish times Dracula brought onto them. You moved to one that seemed to a woman selling dried meat and other things. Walking up to her stall she turned and looked at you taking in your exposed chest despite your cloak covering your shoulders and sash.

"Lost your shirt boy?" She asked you and you chuckled.

"Of sorts." You responded as you looked over the dried meat items and fresh, you bit on your tongue as you thought before looking at her.

"Do you have any pig's blood?" You asked, You hated pigs blood, it always made you have a bad case of burps and on worst occasions it gave you the Shits. Yet you could feel your hunger start to pick up being in a city with so many humans, and it was apparently more common for humans to take it and make blood stew..It was a hilarious find to you several months back, that humans would also eat blood themselves just under different circumstances.

"I have piglets. It will be six silver coins."

The Woman raised a brow at you but you nodded pushing your hand into the parcel that held your money and gave her the coins. You watched her put them away and move to the back of the stall vanishing behind the curtains of blankets. You could hear the small squealing from a piglet and the hefty chop sound of a chop block. You waited for a little while more until she came back around with a mid sized jug with a cork popped into it and slid it to you.

"Don't get young folk like you asking for pig's blood." She comments as you grab the jugs handle.

"Its for my father." You say and she seems to nod allowing you to leave the conversation. You moved stall to stall talking to merchants and some of the local shoppers before you slipped into the alleyways of Gresit. Popping the cork you brought the jug to your lips and tilting it back tasting the still warm and fresh piglet's blood on your tongue slipping back to your throat and down to your stomach. Your body is already greedily absorbing it into your own blood stream and to make energy from it all.

You pulled the jug away feeling the churning of your stomach before a loud belch came from your lips making you grimace and look at the jug.

"Fucking pigs blood." You muttered and continued moving down the alleys heading behind the church taking the gossip from the vendors and local men. Finished with your jug you tossed it as you looked at the supposedly church's garden wall. A local woman said that all the church's workers would be in mass and choir until noon and the halls would be empty. The Back gardens doors are usually left unlocked, you looked up and nodded to yourself as you started scaling up the back wall and leaping over rolling on your shoulders as you landed and moved to bounce back up. You took in the withered and depressing state of the garden, it seems no one here was able to properly tend to it at all. You moved quickly through the garden towards the church's door and grabbed the handle only to jerk back with a hiss. Your hand now bright bloody red as you held it away from the knob.

Silver….fucking churches.

You growled slowly as you shook your hand and grabbed your cloak to wrap it around the handle before twisting and shoving against the door causing it to fly open to empty halls. With a steeled breath you glanced both ways, unsure to where exactly you were to go from here, however it wasn't like you were going to walk as a man. Taking a step the world is blurring around you as you examine through halls and all the church's decor, moving in and out rooms, even some grand library. You moved through monks' bedrooms and scribers' work rooms, studies and other sorts of things. You had found the wine cellar and you paused, grabbing a glass bottle and reading it before shrugging and smashing the top off against the wine bottle shelves and brushing away the broken glass and taking a swig of the warm wine.

"Tastes like shit." You sputtered as you looked at the bottle and left it on the shelf you had plucked it away from, you were about to leave the cellar completely until you heard a soft hissing sound and clunking. You paused, turning your head and started to move to the very bag of the cellar where another hiss echoed. Looking up at the cellars ceiling you noticed it right away, some sort of metal piping that ran down the back wall behind some shelves.

Your father had told you of such things, how Dracula's castle was covered in them and how they could deliver hot water and other things as well.

"So why is that in a church?" You hummed out before leaving the wine cellar zipping through the church's halls once more trying to find a new entrance.

Humans liked to pay to bury their dead in fancy death tombs yea?

You thought as you found an entrance with nothing but stairs leading downwards. You moved down them not bothering with making yourself a torch, you didn't exactly need one to see in the dark. The smell of dust and moisture of mold growing strong in your nose the further you go down. You listened to drops of water dripping from the catacombs ceilings but it wasn't what you were fully after as you could hear the soft hiss to tell you where the metal pipes were. You followed them, weaving through piles of dead bones and rows of skeletons in the walls as you followed the pipes down and down.

The odd twists in the halls and how they narrowed more and more tight as you went lower and deeper into the earth.

You soon came to a dead end but a metal pipe continued through the wall. You placed your ear against it and could hear the noise chatter of machinery. You moved away from the wall and glared at it as you backed away before charging at the bricks slamming your shoulder into it causing it to loudly collapse and send you falling to deep depths.

"Oh fuck!" You shouted as you plummeted downwards hitting metal spires and gears.

You had landed quite awkwardly, legs twisted at wrong angles and your right arm dislocated in several places. You were sure your spine was even fucked as well.

You groaned feeling the spikes of pain shoot through your body as you moved to push yourself up.

Still not as bad as what father put me through.

You thought as you grabbed your fucked up arm and started snapping your bones back into place. You felt your spine snap and jerk as it repositioned back into place as you started snapping your legs back into place again hissing out harshly.

"There better be a fucking man down here." You muttered as you moved, forcing yourself up and started to move through the darkness of this uncaving pit under the church.

How the hell you would get Sye down here safely was beyond your thought process.

Not like I can fly.

You thought bitterly as you explored this old world technology that was supposedly only found in Dracula's Castle.

You would have to find another entrance in and out of this place to be able to bring the speaker woman down.

Gresit wasn't warm to them at all, Sypha watched from behind her hood as Gresit's people showed their displeasure towards her family. They still moved forward until they were into the center of the city spreading out to give survivor's food and clean drinking water they could provide them with. They gave them supplies and were trying to teach them ways to organize. The morning turned to the afternoon and her family was greeted more and more by peoples displeasure. It was like the dislike for speakers was steaming from somewhere, and with the sun starting to climb to sit above the giant crosses Over one large building that could rival a castle, Sphya knew where. The church, The house of god. Sypha had learned so many stories of god, of Gods and she never thought she would learn of one god so cruel that he would encourage followers to burn people at stakes, kill people for being different, for learning and trying to heal others with magic. While Some magic wasn't as good or pure as other it didn't mean that all magic was evil, tainted. She didn't understand a god that had conditional love for his people, his followers. Or how he could allow corrupted men to speak for him.

She handed out a parcel of goods to someone and a horse's noises caught her attention, making her look up. Her eyes widened as she noticed your horse tied at a stand and she made her way to it running her hand over his side and to his neck to his muzzle.

"Hello there…Haldin was it?" She spoke to the horse and it made noises of stomping its foot. She chuckled before untying his reins and leading him to her family's caravan.

"Seriously, did he even think about you losing your shade and being stuck in the sun?"

Haldin merely made a snorting noise as she led him to her other horses.

"That would mean he is actually carrying out his word yea?" She muttered to herself before smiling and heading back to help passing out more parcels. She talked to any of the locals who were willing to have conversations with her and she had managed to get a man to stop and talk.

"You know. You're the second person I had today interested in the church's routines." He spoke and she looked up at him through her hood.

"Oh?" She asked, making sure to deepen her voice.

"Yea some strange man with a large ax on his back and no shirt came through the markets today, we chatted over some ale, strange though he was carrying a jug of pigs blood around for his father." The man told her, seeming eager to gossip.

Sypha raised a brow at that.

Pig's blood?

She didn't know on earth why you would be carrying pigs' blood but she could guess that perhaps you had wanted to make a stew later when you were back on the road. She wondered if you knew how to maintain it well enough for it to last until then, but she doubted it since you had left your horse in an area where his shade was being stolen from the sun.

Men.

She thought amusingly. It seemed like no matter where they came from, they were all just a little slow.

"Well I believe this may be his horse, if you see him please tell him that we are tending to it." Sypha told the man and he nodded before moving to a stall, joining behind it with a woman.

By the evening Sypha and Her family had cleared out an old abandoned house for them to take shelter in for the night, there was plenty of room for them all to rest and leave the horses outside to graze. She was hoping that you would return back to them all that night and she could learn of what you had found, but you didn't return at all.

The morning didnt bring you but the local priests and his monks. Syoha watched her Grandfather try to peacefully talk to them but the priests had no intentions for peace telling them that they had a half a month to leave the town and never to return. They deemed that even that was far more generous than they would have liked and her grandfather had agreed to it. Thanking them for the time they were allowing them to help the people as best as they could. Her family had sat down for breakfast and Sypha couldn't take the silence as she stood looking at her Grandfather.

"I am going to search for Y/n and join him in finding the sleeping soldier!" She had told him.

"Child-"

"No Grandfather, I can not sit and let one man go looking alone who doesn't know the stories well. If anything he could be hurt. I am going to aid him." She said more firmly and her grandfather sighed before standing walking to her and grabbing her shoulders.

"You have your mothers spark." He then said to her warmly rubbing the top of her head like he would do to a child. Sypha had bristled some but she didn't protest much as he moved his head away.

"Fine. Go, but be back before sunset." He had told her and Sypha grinned before pulling her hood up and took off from the house.

She had checked the Markets in hopes she would see you, but you were nowhere to be seen. Last night was a lucky one, no night creatures came but that didn't mean you were not in danger or possibly dead. She knew that the sleeping soldier had to be asleep somewhere in the catacombs of Gresit, and the stories only had very few clues as to where in Gresit that was but she was determined to head towards the supposed area. But she also was determined to find you as well. She had hoped you had not injured yourself in looking for a passageway under the church. She saw the man from.yesterday and rushed towards him.

"That man you saw and spoke to yesterday. Where did you tell him to enter the church again?" She asked hoping he would tell her as well. The man had turned and looked at her before scratching his neck.

"I told myself to climb the back wall of the church into their garden, everyone inside would be at mass and choir. I told him he only had until noon, so if he got caught that was on him." He told her and Sypha gave him her thanks and moved through the markets lost in thought.

If you didn't get caught which she had seen you fight and doubted as such, then perhaps you were in the catacombs trying to find a way out that's not directly inside of the church. She wasn't sure why she was so hopeful in your abilities but there was something different about you, and it wasn't just because you came from other seas.

Perhaps it was the way you carried yourself, or how you looked at each of her family members without judgment.

There was something Different about you but she wasn't sure what exactly. You did have the slight smell of magic too, but not an overbearing amount and how easily your ax sliced through those night creatures she wondered if the magic she smelt came from your weapon. She made progress around the city, traveling through back roads and other roads that avoided the church; she wanted to keep a distance from the church for now. They were threatening her family after all and she didn't want to send more trouble their way while she was in short, snooping around.

While avoiding the church she headed to the city's graveyard, which was just outside of the city, she looked around at the graves whispering soft words of respect. She paused when seeing a tomb hidden in the back of the graveyard and she moved towards it. She hoped it would by chance be another opening to the catacombs and that it would lead her to find you, she pushed the doors open and was greeted to stairs which she moved down. She didn't bother with the torches, instead causing a ball of light to form above her fingers as she moved through the catacombs.

"Y/n?" She called hearing her voice echo as she moved further and farther down following the path.

"Y/n? Are you down here?" She called once more, slightly hoping you would respond but she was only greeted with nothing but her echoes. She stopped just at the bottom of the stairs sighing before she continued to pass on until she came to a fork of passages, looking down each once she chose to go to the left on first, if it led to nowhere she would try the right.

She tried to be careful, not wanting to disturb the dead as she moved through their final resting place. But she did look at them, wondering who they were when they were alive. What did they do?

She hardly doubted any poor folk were in this crypt, she had only seen the more wealthier families have ceremonies where their dead were carried to crypts…

Sypha should have been watching her step, if she hadn't been so lost in thought about the dead and other things then maybe she would have seen the crumbling bricks before she stepped on them. She let out a scream as the ground gave away under her feet causing her to fall.

The landing wasn't a pretty one.

She coughed up dust from her throat as she looked around seeing a messy hall held up by columns. Strange statues scattered around the area and she eyed them warily when she passed them. Her eyes snapped to the column as magic torches lit up brightening the room causing her to grow distracted at being in awe. She had never seen such wonders before and she wondered what enchantment spell they worked under. Her focus was pulled when she heard large footsteps that shook the ground and when she saw what caused them she let out a scream that was soon taken from her as a bright light consumed her.

She felt her body stiffening and she felt her heart pound and pound until it was too stiff.

When she had awoken she had thought it was You who had found her, she would have preferred you. And not the smelly rude man who had found her instead, Trevor Belmont. A miserable man that spoke in scarasms and japes, and seemingly tried to convince himself that he didn't care for anyone.

When he had taken her back to her family she learned that she had been missing for nearly an entire month and they had thought her dead. Her grandfather had shown gratitude towards him despite how rude he was. Her eyes fell on your horse and she felt guilt form in her stomach.

"Grandfather..Was y/n…did he?" She asked and she wondered if she had sent you to an early grave.

"The young man never came back..He too has been absent for as long as you." He had told her and she turned to her family.

"Has anyone not seen him? Not even the markets?"

They all had shook their heads and Sypha felt her guilt grow even more, you could have been a victim to some cruel fate like she had.

But she just had this feeling that you weren't dead, that you were alive. She didn't believe you would have left without your horse as well, you seemed far too fond of Haldin.

No…She just knew you were somehow alive and in those catacombs.

She would find you.

Sypha turned to her family to pack their things to listen to what Belmont told them to do and she moved to help them.

She wouldn't leave, she wouldn't run.

She went to Aid the Belmont and she would convince him to go back down the catacombs with her and look for you, then she and you could go find the sleeping soldier together with or without the Belmont.

You were lost.

You weren't sure how long it had been but you knew that you were lost.

You had seemed to be going in circles but you couldn't find anywhere back upwards and out of the catacombs. If you were even in them anymore. You walked underneath giant machinery of gears and other things, distant lights glowing in their dull blue hues. You had tried climbing some but the supports somehow seemed so old or so poorly built that they would crumble if you jumped too much on them to support beam to support beam. The only way was to get up but you couldn't get up so you had to travel elsewhere, choosing to follow the lights. As you moved through the strange sights of things You could hear the rats taking off as soon as you neared them. You knew you were down here for a little while since you had to resort to feeding off rodents' blood. You were just glad you couldn't get sick, and you tried not to think of what monstrosities the rodents ate.

You shuttered as you looked at the vast structures and gears that seemed to never stop grinding against each other perfectly, never jamming.

Something is down here.

You weren't sure if the stories were completely true, about some sleeping man. But you were absolutely sure that something was down here if Dracula's magical things were here as well. It seemed to travel miles underground, miles under the city. You came to rest at a support beam structure taking in the amount of rust overtaking it. Many were rusty as well, so you knew that they must've been here for ages like the stories had spoken off.

You sat down deciding to take a break as you thought over the stories and couldnt help but to sneer a laugh.

Almost sounds like a vamp-

You jumped startled at hearing things crumble and fall. You reached for your ax, snatching it off as you pushed to your feet. You haven't come across any monsters but you wouldn't doubt there being some down here.

You heard yelling and you followed it, the echoes making it hard but you followed the noises of structures falling until you came to a wall of built up rumble.

Whoever the hell was down here with you now, it was clear they were on the other side of the built up rumble. You sighed, twirling your ax as you thought as you studied the wall. It seemed too secure and there was no way you could break through it and digging through the debris would take too long even for you. You looked upwards to see how messed up the structures were and you had to focus on sharpening your eyesight to see faintly in the dark a pillar stabbing through the wall making a gap.

It was high up and you risked fucking up the rest of the structures and possibly not making it but you would just have to move fast and gently….Something you werent very good at.

Running your other hand through your hair, you didn't have much else of a choice did you?

You haven't found any other sort of an exit and now one seems to have just appeared out of nowhere and it seems to be from some other dumbasses like you who fell down here.

You moved heading to another structure and shimmied your way up it carefully as you heard the steel wanting to give out due to how badly rust eaten it was.

"Last time I did what a speaker asked me to do." You bitterly grumbled as you looked across to another structure of metal before flinging yourself to it, nearly falling when one side of a support beam snapped , falling to the ground far below you again.

"Fuck me."

You kept going as the structure crumbled and you had to fling yourself to the one jutting out of the wall just barely missing it if you hadn't looked your ax around it and held the staff as some makeshift hook.

You groaned some as your bodies had aftershocks of the movement and heaved yourself up and walked carefully to the gaping hole to find yourself on a ledge that looked over some grand luxurious hall with lovely columns adorning it and some fancy red carpet.

Lights kept it all nice and bright and in the middle were a few steps to some strange kind of magic tools and some opened coffins.

Your attention brought from them to two men fighting and A speaker woman moving out of the way.

You heard her speak, seeming to try to scold one of the men and you were slightly confused at how familiar she had sounded.

You moved jumping down and landing before walking towards the fight settling besides the speaker woman causing her to jump and look at you.

"Y/n!" The woman had exclaimed grabbing onto your arm. "You are alive, I knew it."

Your eyes never left one man.

Who was tall framed and had the sunrise for his hair and the sun itself for his eyes.

He is not human. .

And as he brought his face closer to the panting human man,

You caught sight of the light reflecting on his fangs.

Vampire.

They awoke a sleeping vampire.

chpt 6