#cix imagines

[minghaoyoudoin]

First

pairing: best friend!hyunsuk x fem!reader

genre: fluffy smut mostly

words: 6.5k (zoinks)

rating: 18+ ONLY!!! fr don't even think about it, minors

warnings: the concept of virginity, mention of and consumption of food, lots of kissing, dirty talk, oral sex (f. receiving), unprotected sex (don't be stupid like these two), hyunsuk is hung, some minor biting and hair pulling, creampie, aftercare, I'm sure I missed some but that's all I can think of lol

a/n: I'm baaaaaaack 😈 this was requested a very long time ago by my lovely 🐢 anon, I'm so sorry it's been so long! with this, I've finally written for all the cix boys mwahahaha. feel free to keep the requests coming, I'm finally done with school so my tumblr shenanigans are back on schedule!

Hyunsuk looked like he was going to vomit.

You stared at him across the small dining table, your forkful of pasta frozen several inches from your mouth. His usually golden skin had turned ashen, his face so pale it was actually bordering on green. Whatever he was thinking about to make him look this way was making the other restaurant guests stare.

“What is going on with you?” You blurted at last. You set your fork back on your plate as Hyunsuk’s eyes flicked up to meet yours. Panic weighed heavy over his warm brown irises, a blanket of fog to mute their hue.

Your best friend grimaced and swallowed thickly, his strong throat flexing. God, you were so tired of noticing things like that. “I think I ate something I shouldn’t have,” he choked out at last.

It was a lie. A poor one, too. “I asked you to lunch so I could ask you a question. Why are you the one about to throw up with nerves?” Your teasing helped disguise the anxiety eating away at you, but you weren’t completely sure if Hyunsuk bought it.

In all honesty, your reason for inviting Hyunsuk out today had everything to do with the fact you noticed things like his adam’s apple bobbing.

“You know I hate when people do that,” Hyunsuk said roughly. He took several deep gulps of his water, your eyes tracking the movement of his throat. “’Sukie, we need to talk’,” his voice rose several octaves to imitate yours, “’Can I ask you something over lunch?’. Do you realize I’ve been shitting myself since then?”

You laughed and reached across the table to pat the top of Hyunsuk’s head, at which he scoffed indignantly. “You know it’s nothing bad, Hyunsuk. I would have stormed over to your place to talk right away if that were the case.”

Hyunsuk had been your best friend for nearly a decade now. You knew him better than you knew yourself most days, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t have your fun with him every now and then. If the roles were reversed you were certain he’d do the same thing.

The majority of the green tinge to Hyunsuk’s skin subsided as he finished the last of his water. “Fine then.” He motioned in your direction and finally took a bite of the sandwich in front of him. “Go on, ask your question.”

You opened your mouth and promptly stalled. You hesitated for several moments, abruptly nervous again. When you had played and replayed this scenario in your head earlier, you hadn’t actually considered what his real reaction would be. Would he laugh at you? Storm out of the restaurant? Declare he was done being your best friend for all eternity?

Hyunsuk raised an eyebrow. “Well?”

“We’ve been friends for a really long time.” It was not what you had intended to say.

“Yes?” He looked more confused now, though it was obvious his curiosity outweighed any annoyance. “What does that have to do with anything?”

You ignored him and pushed on, “Have I had a boyfriend in all that time?” Hyunsuk frowned and looked at a point above your head, obviously trying to remember.

“No.”

“Exactly.” You leaned forward in your chair, your pasta forgotten. “I think I’m going insane. Like, actually. No matter how much I thought about it I couldn’t figure out why, and then a couple weeks ago I realized. I’m frustrated.”

“…Frustrated.”

“Yes. I’m restless all the time, I can’t concentrate. I can’t even be alone in the same room with you without—”

“Hold on.” You cut yourself off as Hyunsuk raised a hand to stop you. His other one fidgeted with the white tablecloth, worrying the edge between his thumb and forefinger. “You can’t be in the same room as me?”

You realized now how that sounded when spoken aloud. “No, no, that’s not what I meant. I…” You hesitated again, anxiety gripping your throat in earnest. “I’m twenty and I’m still a virgin. It’s driving me up a wall and—I, well…”

Hyunsuk looked like he’d seen a ghost. His eyes were wide, though they had taken on a different quality now than the panic that had been in them earlier. You couldn’t place it. “Say it,” he urged.

You leaned further towards him. He mirrored your movement, his face close enough to share breath. You glanced around to ensure no one was obviously eavesdropping and, once satisfied, you took a deep breath.

“Hyunsuk, I want you to fuck me.”

You internally smacked yourself. Why would you say it like that?

Hyunsuk released the breath he’d been holding in a strained exhale. He leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms over his chest, brown eyes studying your face. You tried to ignore the disappointment rearing in your chest. You’d been expecting more of a reaction from him.

After what could have been minutes or hours, he quietly asked, “Why?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why me? I know we’re best friends, but you’ve never mentioned anything close to this before. Are you even attracted to me like that?”

Oh yeah, this would hurt to admit. Reluctantly and unable to meet his eyes, you nodded tightly. “I wouldn’t be asking if I weren’t, idiot.”

You knew he was grinning without having to look at him. He was still near vibrating with nerves. “Okay. That’s… good to know. I just… are you just using me to ‘get it over with’? I don’t want to be that to you. I don’t want to ruin our friendship like that.”

At this, your eyes snapped back to his face. “It won’t, I swear it. And you aren’t just some tool I can use, you know. It takes two and all that, so if you aren’t up for it then I’m okay with never bringing it up again.” You paused, trying to gather your thoughts. “I suppose when I figured out I was frustrated sexually like this, I realized there’s no one else I could imagine doing it with. Someone has to be the first and I want it to be you.”

Hyunsuk was still staring at you with that unfamiliar gleam in his eye, something you now realized might be desire.

A new thought crashed through your fragile wall of hope and wiped the smile off your face. “Do you…” You cleared your throat. “Do you not… like me like that?”

Hyunsuk laughed softly, his expression gentling. “Are you kidding me? Of course I do. You’re, well, you’re you.”

That was as close as he would get to calling you beautiful, you supposed. Even so, it was enough to stoke the flames of hope in your heart higher. “Then that’s settled. I know it’s a lot to ask, trust me, I do. If you need time to think about it I completely understand—”

Hyunsuk was out of his chair before you could blink. He looked close to throwing up again, this time with his new knowledge rather than the lack thereof.

“I just need a minute to think.” Hyunsuk began to stride away but froze as soon as he turned around. He looked down at you, his expression pained. “I promise I’ll call you, okay? I swear it."

Despite yourself, this helped you relax. When you spoke, you meant every word, “Take all the time you need. I’ll love you either way.”

Hyunsuk flinched, just barely. He tossed some cash onto the table for lunch and walked away, his long legs carrying him much too fast. You watched him until he vanished around the corner, the anxiety in your chest only worsening when he was out of sight.

What have I done?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You found the only way to forget how horny you were was to bake. It didn’t matter what it was. Cupcakes, brownies, cobbler, muffins, you name it—anything that allowed you to focus on a recipe and quiet your mind was good enough for you.

The second you’d gotten home from lunch you busted out every baking-related item you owned. You’d started with a cake, then cupcakes because you accidentally made way too much batter. While they were in the oven, you took the opportunity to take a long shower.

You went through the motions of washing yourself on autopilot. First shampoo, rinse, then conditioner. Shave while the conditioner soaked. Rinse. Wash your body, then your face. The routine was second-nature, unfortunately, which meant it did nothing to distract you from your thoughts. Even after finishing, you stood under the scalding water for as long as you could, just staring at the wall.

You’d scared Hyunsuk away. You knew it in your bones. His promise to call you had made you feel better in the moment, but every time you obsessively checked your phone the screen was blank. At this point you didn’t even want him to say yes. Honestly you wished you’d never brought it up in the first place. You weren’t quite sure what you’d do if you lost your best friend over something as stupid as your virginity.

You didn’t get out of the shower until the water ran too cold to bear. Your teeth clattered violently as you pulled on underwear and one of Hyunsuk’s sweatshirts, big enough on you that it hung nearly to your knees. Across the front in big, bold letters was the phrase EXTROVERT UNIVERSITY. Perhaps not the most appropriate for you, but certainly accurate for Hyunsuk.

You were brushing the knots out of your wet hair when you finally remembered you had food in the oven. There was no way it had been less than 30 minutes since you got in the shower. You dropped your brush and ran, spewing profanities under your breath as you went.

You expected to see your apartment filled with smoke. Or, best case scenario, open the oven to see a pan of inedible hockey pucks. What you didn’t expect to see, however, was Hyunsuk seated at your kitchen island, slathering butter onto a cupcake.

For several moments you could only stare. Hyunsuk hadn’t noticed you yet, since his back was to you, and he was lightly bobbing his head to whatever music was playing in his airpods. You shook yourself free of your stupor and strode forward so you could lightly cuff the back of his head.

Hyunsuk jumped so hard he nearly fell off his chair. He ripped his airpods from his ears as he whirled around, his eyes comically wide. “Dude, you scared the fuck out of me.”

“I scared you?” You shot back. “You’re the one who used your emergency key to get into my apartment! And you’re eating my food.”

Hyunsuk grinned. “Be glad I did, the oven timer was going off when I walked in. I saved your ass.” You plopped into the barstool next to him, unable to hide your smile. He’s here, he’s here, he’s here. Hyunsuk’s eyes drifted to your chest—more specifically, to the writing printed across it. “Is that my sweatshirt?”

“Your observation skills are incredible. If you hadn’t noticed, I just got out of the shower. Would you prefer I be naked?”

Color flooded Hyunsuk’s cheeks, all the way to the tips of his ears. He avoided your eyes, instead watching the cupcake in his hands as he picked it apart. “I guess that’s sort of the point, isn’t it?”

You paused, dumbfounded. Surely you misheard. “Sukie… is that why you’re in my apartment? To fuck me?”

“Would you stop saying it like that?” Hyunsuk huffed, his face impossibly redder. “And… no. Not necessarily. I just don’t like how we left things earlier.”

“Me either. I’m sorry I sprung it on you like that.”

“I’m not sure there’s a better way to ask your best friend to fuck you. Taking me out to lunch was certainly a good start.”

You giggled softly. “I guess that’s true. Want to tell me why you ran off?”

The cupcake in Hyunsuk’s hands was little more than crumbs now. He didn’t answer immediately, much to your dismay, but you allowed him time to gather his thoughts as best he could. Eventually, he asked without meeting your eyes, “In all the time we’ve known each other, have I ever had a girlfriend?”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “Um, I think there was one. Sophomore year of high school, right?”

Hyunsuk threw you an insulted look. “Are you talking about my partner in chemistry lab? No, dude, I don’t even remember her name.”

“Oh. Then… no, no girlfriends.” Hyunsuk said nothing, he just stared at you expectantly. You looked back, hopelessly confused. “What are you… oh. Oh.” You leaned forward and he looked back at his hands again. “Hyunsuk, you’re a virgin too?”

“Don’t act so surprised.”

“It’s not that, it’s just—I don’t know, I’m confused. How can you still be a virgin? You’re, well, you look like that.” You motioned vaguely at his face, hoping that was all the explaining you needed to do.

“The same could be said about you, you know.”

Your cheeks heated. There he went again, finding a way to call you attractive without explicitly saying it.

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” You asked.

“I was flustered. You caught me off guard and you were looking at me with so much hope on your face. I didn’t want to disappoint you.”

You laughed, earning yourself another dirty look. “Sukie, how could I be disappointed? I can’t exactly throw stones, you know.”

“Still.” Hyunsuk turned to look at you again, this time swiveling in his stool so you were head-on. The look in his eyes was earnest now. “Look, of course I want to have sex with you. The way you asked me earlier gave me the worst fucking boner in the history of boners. You’re just so fucking innocent. Don’t look at me like that, I don’t mean literally. I mean, you have no idea what you do to me, do you?”

Your heart felt like it would leap from your chest. “What do you mean?”

Hyunsuk stood fast enough that looking up at his face nearly gave you whiplash. You copied him in an attempt to even the field but he still towered over your head. “I get a raging hard-on because of you every other day. You’re so unfairly gorgeous that I can’t concentrate when I’m with you. Half the time I’m pretty sure you think I’m an idiot because I can’t even string two sentences together without messing up.” Hyunsuk pushed his hair away from his face, obviously agitated, but he didn’t seem to notice when the strands immediately fell over his eyes again. “I’ve wanted to fuck you since the first moment I laid eyes on you. Not just that, I’m pretty sure I fell in love with you that exact same second—”

Hyunsuk cut himself off, his chest heaving. The black shirt he was wearing was tight, emphasizing the hard lines of his pecs and defined abdomen. You fought to keep your eyes on his face, though his admission had nearly knocked you flat on your ass.

“You’re…” You swallowed roughly, your eyes burning. “You’re in love with me?”

Hyunsuk gave you a tiny nod, his eyes never leaving yours. “You’re in love with me, too, you know.”

He was right, you realized. You hadn’t thought much about it before—you’d purposely tried not to—but now that he said it aloud, there was no way you could deny it.

You loved Hyunsuk.

Hyunsuk loved you back.

“I don’t know what to say,” you admitted. “I guess I could crack a joke to ease the tension but that doesn’t feel appropriate—”

Hyunsuk moved before you could register it. One moment he was frozen, staring at you with wide eyes. The next, his mouth crushed against yours with enough force that you stumbled back a step. His broad arm snaked around your waist to steady you, simultaneously hauling you closer to his chest while his other hand gripped the roots of your hair at the base of your scalp.

You were kissing him back before you’d finished processing the feeling of his mouth on yours. His lips were unbearably soft, warm as they slid against your own. You whimpered quietly at the sensation, at the fact you were finally kissing him—something you hadn’t realized you’d been waiting your whole life for until this very moment.

Hyunsuk’s fingers gripped your ribcage, his hand large enough that his fingertips brushed the underside of your breast. His other hand, still tangled in your hair, forced your head back further, allowing him better access to your mouth.

You remembered your own hands and immediately shoved them between you so you could touch his chest. His heartbeat thundered against your palm, its rhythm mirroring your own. Further south, you were painfully aware of the hard length now straining through his jeans.

You couldn’t get enough. Your hands roved over him constantly, unable to stay in one place for longer than a second. His chest, his arms, his shoulders, his hair—you needed to touch all of him, all at once. Hyunsuk’s muscles tensed everywhere you touched and, when your fingers lightly tugged at his hair, he rewarded you with a small moan into your mouth.

His hips pressed insistently against yours, though you were certain he wasn’t aware of it. His body sought friction the same way yours did, the hot pounding between your thighs making your head spin. Hyunsuk’s hand around your waist moved to join the other one in your hair.

Gently but firmly he tugged your head back so he could look at you. You gazed at him through hooded eyes, your vision hazy with lust. Hyunsuk had an expression on his face you’d never seen before, one that would come back to visit you in wet dreams for years to come.

“Tell me you’re still sure.” He pulled the roots of your hair for emphasis, earning a surprised moan from you. Hyunsuk groaned. “Please.”

“I’m sure, I’m sure. Please, Hyunsuk.” You barely recognized your own voice. Rough and low, it belonged to someone else entirely.

He needed no more encouragement than that. Without warning Hyunsuk stooped so his shoulder pressed into your abdomen, forcing your whole body over it. You shrieked as he stood, both because of the fact you were being carried over his shoulder without warning and because of the sharp smack he gave your ass.

He didn’t need directions to your bedroom. Hyunsuk spent nights with you more often than not, though this would be the first time you’d done something in your bed with him other than sleeping.

Hyunsuk, despite the ferocity with which he’d kissed you, was gentle as he set you down on the bed. You sprawled on your back and propped yourself up on your elbows, allowing your eyes to rove over his body. He stared down at you with the expression of a man starved, but with every second that passed it turned more into insecurity. He didn’t know what to do now. Shit, neither did you.

You smiled up at him reassuringly. With as much sexiness as you could muster, you beckoned him closer with a finger. “Kiss me, Hyunsuk.”

As if under a spell, he obeyed. Hyunsuk placed one knee on the edge of the mattress and covered your body with his. He held most of his weight on his elbows, caging you in on either side. When he kissed you this time, it was softer. Sweet, like he was trying to savor you.

Your fingers hooked into his belt loops, pulling his hips flush against yours. You both released small groans at the resulting pressure. You allowed your hands to drift up his sides beneath his shirt, dragging it up his torso as you went. His skin was fever-hot and soft over hard muscle.

He sat up only long enough to yank his shirt over his head, immediately dropping down over you again. You touched as much of him as you could reach, the same fervor from earlier rising fast inside you. Everywhere your hands moved made goosebumps erupt on his skin. Hyunsuk broke the kiss, his breathing heavy. You watched him as he looked down at your chest, obviously unsure if he was allowed to touch you.

Wordlessly you sat up, forcing him to do the same. He stared at you in tense silence as you pulled his sweatshirt over your head, leaving you only in your lace underwear and bare skin. Your nipples tightened painfully under his gaze. The only word you could find to describe his expression now was hunger.

When he remained silent for nearly a full minute, you decided he needed encouragement. “Hyunsuk?”

It took him a moment to find words. “Yes?” He breathed, his voice hoarse. His eyes flicked between your face and your breasts, unable to stay on either one for longer than a second.

“If you don’t touch me in the next five seconds I think I might explode.”

He laughed lowly and palmed the impressive erection straining through his jeans. Curiosity nipped at the back of your mind, followed immediately by nerves. With painstaking slowness, he gently pushed you back down on the bed so you were on your back beneath him. He kissed you again, only once, before he began to move down your body. You squirmed as he left small love bites along the column of your throat, your shoulders, your chest. His touch was gentle, too gentle, but each time his teeth grazed your skin earned a breathy moan you couldn’t seem to control.

At last his full lips closed around your right nipple. Your entire body jerked at the unfamiliar sensation, followed immediately by a shaky groan of relief. Your fingers tangled in the roots of his hair as he sucked, his mouth unbearably hot and wet as it worked you. Your heart felt very near to thundering out of your chest.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he murmured against your skin, almost to himself. His teeth tugged at your nipple for emphasis.

Just when your pleasure began to mingle with pain, he shifted his focus to your other breast. He dragged his tongue across your chest, leaving a hot trail of saliva across your skin, and brought one hand up to knead the breast he had just finished doting on.

Each moan that left your mouth seemed to encourage him further. With every passing second Hyunsuk’s confidence increased, his ministrations turning from gentle exploration to eager sucking. The bright purple marks that bloomed across your skin made you see stars.

“Hyunsuk, please,” you whimpered, both your hands now pulling lightly at his scalp. Hyunsuk wordlessly continued his leisurely journey down your body. He created constellations of kisses across your ribcage, your stomach—his tongue dipped briefly into your navel and ghosted across the hem of your panties.

You genuinely wondered if you would go insane when he looked up at you through his eyelashes, a small smile tugging at his swollen lips. “Where should I touch you, baby?”

You tried not to let your surprise at the pet name show. An unfamiliar sort of pleasure clenched in your core, drawing your attention to the wetness between your thighs. You couldn’t manage to form coherent words—instead, you allowed your legs to fall further open around him, baring your center to his face.

His eyes fell to your core and he released another shuddering breath. His long fingers hooked beneath your panties and pulled them to the side. For the first time, you felt truly exposed. Hyunsuk said nothing, the heartbeat in your clit reaching astronomical levels under his gaze.

He blew gently on your overheated core and your entire body convulsed. “Now seems like a good time to remind you,” he said roughly, “that I don’t know what I’m doing. You’ll have to tell me.”

“You’re doing great, Sukie. Just… do it, please, before I die.” Your hands in his hair tried in vain to push his face where you wanted it, but Hyunsuk was far stronger than you were. He didn’t move an inch, much to your despair. Instead, he helped you pull your panties down your legs until they were completely off, lying forgotten somewhere on the floor.

Without warning, his lips closed around your clit. You let out a sharp gasp, inadvertently yanking on his hair as you did so. Hyunsuk, to your surprise, moaned loudly at the sensation, his hips thrusting against the mattress as he sought to relieve the pressure between his legs. His forearms snaked beneath your ass, his hands large enough that they rested on top of your hipbones and locked you against the bed.

You didn’t know what feeling to focus on. His tongue circled your clit slowly, exerting just enough pressure to make you squirm. Your core spasmed with every movement, but you already knew it wouldn’t be enough.

“More, Hyunsuk, please—” your voice broke off into a moan as he obeyed. Hyunsuk’s teeth grazed your clit at the same moment his lips closed hard around it, sucking forcefully now. You sighed heavily, the breath whooshing from your chest at some of the pressure between your legs finally easing. Your back arched off the mattress and you tugged harder at his hair—you weren’t sure whether you were trying to trap him between your legs or push him away.

“You taste—” he said, his voice muffled against your core “—absolutely incredible.” Hyunsuk released your hipbone so he could position two fingers at your entrance, gathering some of your arousal onto his fingertips before timidly pushing into you. You muttered incoherent praises as his fingers curled, his middle and ring fingers finding your g-spot with ease.

You weren’t going to last. Hyunsuk rammed his fingers into you at an angle at the same time his mouth suckled your clit. You looked down at him, struggling to keep your eyes open, to find him already watching you. He growled against your center—actually growled—as he felt your walls tightening around his fingers.

“Please, harder,” you begged.

“I have to prep you, baby,” Hyunsuk scissored his fingers against your walls for emphasis, eliciting another gasp from you. “I’m big.” He didn’t say it as a brag but rather like it was a known fact, something which inclined you to believe him.

You threw your head back, lost in your pleasure. Hyunsuk’s pace didn’t falter. He continued to moan into your clit, the vibrations ricocheting up your spine and forcing you closer to your orgasm. The lewd sounds of him fingering you were broken only by his muttered praises about tasting so good or being so good for him.

“Hyunsuk, I—I’m gonna—”

“Yes, please, please cum on my tongue—”

Your hips rocked against his face, any sense of shame lost in your desperation to cum. Hyunsuk groaned against you again and it was the final push you needed to catapult off the edge. Lightning streaked through your veins, your orgasm barreling into you with such force that your thighs snapped closed around his head. He didn’t seem to mind in the slightest, instead feverishly moaning as he tried to prolong your high as long as he could.

“Oh my god.” You pressed your head and shoulders into the mattress, trying and failing to catch your breath. The echoes of your orgasm still zinged through your body long after Hyunsuk removed his fingers from you. When you finally managed to open your eyes, you nearly came again at the sight of Hyunsuk smiling up at you, his lips shining with your arousal.

He examined his glistening fingers and, like he was curious, he placed his fingers between his lips. He blinked innocently at you, smiling either at your taste or the expression on your face. Perhaps both. You groaned shakily and gently massaged his muscular shoulders. Somehow, your orgasm hadn’t calmed you down. You were more turned on than ever, actually, and you had never needed anything the way you needed his cock.

You pulled Hyunsuk up your body by the back of his neck, appreciating the startled noise he made. When his face hovered above yours you pressed an enthusiastic kiss to his lips. He tasted of chocolate cake and you, a flavor which instantly became your new favorite.

“I swear I’m going to return the favor,” you whispered into his mouth, “but if you aren’t fucking me senseless in the next thirty seconds I’m going to scream.”

Hyunsuk nodded fervently, all too excited to oblige you. You helped him out of his pants and underwear, almost too afraid to look down. As he’d warned you earlier, he was big—you could tell that much just by his height—but when his naked length brushed your thigh you seriously worried it wouldn’t fit.

“Raise your legs, baby.” Hyunsuk looped his arms under your knees and hauled them up, holding them there with his hands braced on either side of his ribcage. He kissed the tip of your nose and moved his face so you couldn’t look anywhere other than him. “Please stop me if I hurt you. We’ll go as slow as you need.”

Something in your heart fractured. Hyunsuk, your best friend. Your friend turned lover, and probably the sweetest person you’d ever met.

“I’m okay, Hyunsuk. Promise.”

He nodded, his eyes sharing lust and anxiety in equal measure. You finally allowed yourself to look down as he took his cock in a hand and pumped slowly. Any coherent thought left your head at the sight. Hyunsuk wasn’t just big, he was huge. Long and thick, his cock was flushed an angry red and looking very much like it would hurt.

He dragged the tip between your dripping folds, his precum only adding to the slickness there. Hyunsuk fitted the head into your entrance and pressed a chaste kiss to your brow. He thrusted experimentally, his cock entering you just enough that you both gasped in unison. You bit down hard on your bottom lip, unable to look away from your joined hips.

He captured your mouth in his again, probably to distract you from the pain. Even with the lubrication from both your cum and his, the stretch was enough to steal your breath. Hyunsuk kissed you like he was trying to stay grounded to earth. Low, frenzied moans rumbled in his throat on each pass.

The muscles in his shoulders bunched and flexed beneath your fingers. You gently bit down on the flesh above his collarbone to muffle the sounds coming from you, somewhere between moans and cries.

Your walls wouldn’t seem to give way. He took his time, never trying to force his cock all the way into you or increase his pace to one you couldn’t handle. Just looking at the size of his dick was intimidating enough, but having it inside you was something else entirely. He managed to get halfway in before the pain subsided enough that you began rolling your hips against his, silently begging for more.

He pulled out and, at long last, your walls relaxed as he pushed in. All at once, his cock plunged into you to the hilt, both of you gasping in surprise and pleasure.

“That’s it…” Hyunsuk sighed into your hair, his entire body shaking. “Atta girl.”

You whimpered, tears stinging the backs of your eyes. God, it hurt. He was massive and you were too tight, and holy shit you needed more, more, more.

“Move now, Hyunsuk,” you choked out. Your heels dug into his ass, feeling it flex as he timidly pulled out and thrusted back in. It still hurt, certainly enough to make you grit your teeth, but there was pleasure there now. Something in your lower stomach was already tightening like it had when he used his tongue. The urge to chase that feeling was enormous.

You bit down on his shoulder, harder this time. His hands found both of yours, lacing your fingers together and forcing them to either side of your head. His pace was still unbearably slow, his fear of hurting you blocking him from truly fucking you.

“Hyunsuk—”

You couldn’t finish your plea. His name cut off into a sharp whine as he snapped his hips into yours. He did it again, and again, and you were gone. Your moans were sometimes words, sometimes not, but they were completely wild and all for him.

The hard pace he set had your walls clamping down hard around him with every brush to your g-spot. Hyunsuk’s teeth were fastened onto his bottom lip, his eyes locked on the place your bodies collided, over and over again.

“Oh god, Hyunsuk, please, please—”

Your legs violently shook around his hips, the pain from before replaced only by pleasure now. Your walls spasmed and clenched around him, drawing deep whimpers from his throat.

“You’re so tight, baby.” His voice was unrecognizable. “You like this, hmm? You like your best friend fucking you stupid?”

You nodded, barely registering the words coming from his mouth. You were overcome by pleasure, by the feeling of his cock stretching you out and filling you so full you wouldn’t ever be able to forget it.

With skill you couldn’t understand, Hyunsuk pulled out completely and flipped you roughly onto your stomach. He hauled your ass up and closer to him, his cock easily filling you again before you could mourn the initial loss of it. You gasped, partly from shock and partly from pleasure.

Your forehead fell against your arm as he fucked you from behind, his pace fast enough now that it forced you further up onto the mattress. His body leaned over yours and he kissed any part of you his mouth could reach—your hair, your throat, your shoulders, it didn’t matter to him.

Hyunsuk was getting close now. His moans had turned breathy, his thrusts becoming more erratic as your pussy clenched hard around him. He gripped your waist hard enough to bruise, fucking you on his cock at a ruthless pace.

The hot ball in your stomach grew unbearably tight. You begged him to make you cum, to fill you with him, and his only response was to pound into you harder. When his fingers dove between your legs and found your clit again, your orgasm exploded out of you with the force of a falling star.

Your walls clamped down on his cock hard enough that he couldn’t fully thrust anymore. “Yes, baby, that’s it…” Hyunsuk sighed heavily, allowing his forehead to rest between your shoulder blades. “Cum for me, sweetheart.”

Your lips parted and your entire body locked, unable to produce any sort of sound under the weight of your orgasm. Hyunsuk’s cock twitched inside you, filling you with hot cum in thick bursts. For the first time, you remembered that you weren’t using protection and were extraordinarily grateful for the birth control pills you took regularly.

Your sweat-slick bodies trembled in the wake of your orgasms, his cock still nestled deep inside you as you came down. You weren’t sure how long you stayed that way, just holding each other and panting heavily. At some point Hyunsuk shifted so the two of you were spooning, but he didn’t try to remove himself from you once you were both laying comfortably.

There were tears in your eyes again. You tried to control it but a small sniffle escaped you despite your valiant effort. Hyunsuk was immediately on alert. He took your chin between his thumb and forefinger and forced you to look at him, the look on his face a perfect combination of adoration and worry.

“Why are you crying?” He whispered, panicked. “Are you hurt? Did I… Did I do something wrong?”

“No.” You hastily wiped away the tear that had escaped one of your eyes. “Sukie, no. I’m amazing, actually. Better than amazing.”

“Then why are you crying?”

“I’m just… really happy.” You sniffled again, the truth of your words making another tear slide down your cheek.

Hyunsuk didn’t look convinced. He placed a delicate kiss between your eyes and at last removed his cock from you, both of you grunting at the sudden loss. Your pussy throbbed, a deep ache that you were certain would last for the next few days.

You admired your view of his nakedness as he padded into your connected bathroom, coming back a minute later with a washcloth in hand. You watched him through your eyelashes and let your legs fall open again. Gratification echoed through you at the way his cock twitched in response.

He knelt between your thighs and cleaned you gently. “We, um. We made a mess,” he admitted sheepishly. His throat and face flushed a deep, pretty scarlet, all the way to the tips of his ears. You grinned down at him lazily.

“Care to do it again sometime?”

He blushed further, eliciting a giggle from you. Wordlessly he stood and pulled on his underwear—something you protested to no avail—and he gave you a timid kiss before leaving the room. He returned before you could ask where he was going, holding two butter-slathered cupcakes and a bottle of water in his hand.

“I didn’t even get a chance to frost these, you heathen,” you laughed. Still, you accepted the cupcake he offered you and smiled at him warmly in thanks.

“So,” he began, his mouth stuffed, "is the internet right?”

“What do you mean?”

He motioned between you, both still naked except for his underwear and the sheet tucked around you. “Is our friendship ruined because we had sex?”

You pretended to think for a moment. You didn’t really have to ponder this question at all, but you did enjoy the frazzled look that appeared on Hyunsuk’s face. You took a bite of your cupcake and socked him playfully on the shoulder. “I definitely think it’s ruined, yeah.”

“For real?”

You leaned forward and kissed him too quickly for him to react. “I’m gonna be thinking about that tight ass all the time now.” You squealed when he pounced, caging you between his arms and nearly squishing your cupcake between your chests. You gave him a radiant smile, exhilarated.

Hyunsuk returned it, looking joyous and thoroughly spent. “I think I could get used to this.” He adjusted so that he rested casually between your legs beneath the sheet you’d covered yourself with. He took your cupcake and set it safely on your nightstand, now able to let his head rest on your chest as you held each other.

You petted his hair, just savoring the feeling of his heartbeat and his breaths that evened into sleep quicker than you’d thought possible. This boy, you thought, smiling sleepily at nothing.

Yeah. You could get used to this.

thank you for reading!! if you enjoyed, please leave a like and reblog to show your support!

masterlist here :)

© minghaoyoudoin 2022 - all rights reserved. reposts/translations not allowed. I do not assume to know the personal lives of the idol(s) depicted in this fic, this is for entertainment purposes only!

[minhoskofi]

u want more?

pairing: bestfriend!byounggon x bestfriend!fem!reader genre: non-idol!au, smut (minors dni!), some fluff warnings: grinding, teasing, edging, multiple orgasms, oral (f receiving), fingering, “baby”, "love", choking, unprotected sex, begging, use of "fuck", marking (hickeys) word count: 3.2k

As the evening sun cast a warm glow through the windows of Byounggon's cozy flat, you slumped onto his couch, clutching a tub of ice cream like it was your lifeline.

Byounggon, your ever-reliable best friend, observed your disheveled appearance with a mixture of sympathy and exasperation.

"Again?" he murmured, shaking his head as he handed you a tissue to wipe away your tears.

You chuckled humorlessly, your voice muffled by the ice cream. "Yeah, again. I swear I have the worst taste in men."

Byounggon's eyes softened as he watched you devour the ice cream, a pang of protectiveness swelling in his chest. He had seen you go through countless heartbreaks, each time picking up the pieces of your shattered heart with unwavering resilience. And each time, he wished he could shield you from the pain.

"Maybe it's time for a change of scenery," he suggested, a spark of spontaneity igniting in his eyes. "How about we escape for a while? Just you and me, away from all this mess."

You raised an eyebrow, a hint of amusement flickering in your eyes. "Are you suggesting a getaway or a pity party?"

Byounggon grinned, his dimples deepening. "A little bit of both, maybe. But mostly a chance for you to recharge and have some fun."

You chuckled, feeling a warmth spread through your chest at the thought of spending time with Byounggon.

"Alright, you're on," you agreed, a small smile playing on your lips. "But you're paying for everything, got it?"

Byounggon rolled his eyes playfully. "Of course. Consider this my treat for having to put up with your ugly crying face all these years."

You swatted his arm playfully, unable to suppress your laughter at his teasing. "Come here," you ordered, wiggling your eyebrows suggestively.

“Come where?”

You savored the last spoonful of ice cream, letting out a contented sigh as you set the empty tub aside. You patted the empty space next to you on the couch. “Here. Cuddles. Now.”

A faint blush crept onto Byounggon's cheeks, his heart fluttering nervously at your request. Lately, he couldn't deny the growing… warmth he felt whenever he was close to you, the way his heart seemed to skip a beat whenever your laughter filled the room.

"So clingy," he retorted, trying to mask the sudden rush of emotions swirling within him as he settled onto the couch beside you.

You snuggled up against him, resting your head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around you tentatively, the scent of your hair filling his senses. His heart hammered in his chest as he resisted the urge to bury his face in the crook of your neck, to hold you close and never let go.

As you drifted off to sleep in his comforting embrace, Byounggon watched over you with an unusual tenderness. He couldn't tear his gaze away from your peaceful face, illuminated by the soft glow of the evening light filtering through the window.

But as time passed, he began to feel the uncomfortable numbness creeping into his arm. Despite his reluctance to disturb your rest, he knew he couldn't bear it much longer.

He eased himself out from beneath you and gently scooped you up into his arms, cradling you against his chest as he made his way to his bedroom.

Laying you down on the bed with the utmost care, he tucked the blankets around you snugly, ensuring you were comfortable before tucking a stray strand of hair away from your face.

As you stepped into the luxurious lobby of the hotel, your breath caught in your throat at the sight of its opulent beauty. “You can’t possibly afford this,” you breathed, turning to Byounggon with wide eyes. 

“Already did,” he bit back.

As you approached the reception desk to check in, the hotel staff greeted you warmly… and then apologized profusely. 

Shit.

They explained that there had been a mix-up with the reservations. The last double bed room had been already booked, and they were left with only one room available, with a shared bed. 

A surprise for no one.

You exchanged a hesitant glance with Byounggon, unsure of how to proceed. “I told you to book beforehand.” 

Sharing a bed with your best friend shouldn't be a big deal, right?

Byounggon, ever the picture of composure, simply shrugged, a playful smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. "Looks like we're bunking together, partner. Hope you don't snore."

As the first light of dawn filtered through the hotel room’s curtains, you found yourself stirring from a fitful sleep. 

Your limbs were tangled in the blankets.

A distinct lack of warmth enveloping you.

With a groan, you rubbed the sleep from your eyes and turned to Byounggon, who was blissfully unaware of your growing irritation as he slept soundly beside you.

"Seriously, Gon?" you grumbled, poking him gently in the side. "You moved so much last night, I swear, I felt like I was in the middle of a wrestling match."

Byounggon let out a soft snore in response, his arm flopping lazily onto your side of the bed, effectively stealing even more of the blankets in the process. You couldn't help but roll your eyes, tugging futilely at the fabric in an attempt to reclaim your share.

"And don't even get me started on the snoring," you continued, "I could've just rented you out as a white noise machine."

Byounggon let out a snort in his sleep, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he shifted slightly, sending a sharp jab of pain shooting through your side where he had inadvertently elbowed you.

"Ow!" you exclaimed, shooting him a mock accusatory glare. "Are you doing this on purpose now?"

He was completely unfazed by your complaints.

With a huff of frustration, you grabbed your pillow and began to mercilessly pummel him with it, determined to rouse him from his deep sleep.

"Lee Byounggon! Wake! The fuck! Up!" you exclaimed, landing a harder blow with the pillow. "I can't take it anymore! You're snoring like a chainsaw, stole all the blankets, and now I'm starving!"

Byounggon stirred groggily, blinking owlishly, "Huh? What's going on?" he mumbled, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"I'm hungry!" you whined, launching another assault with the pillow for good measure. "And I can't sleep with all your tossing and turning. It's like trying to sleep on a roller coaster!"

Byounggon let out a sheepish chuckle, finally fully awake as he sat up in bed, the blankets pooling around his waist. "Sorry about that."

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

His hair tousled from sleep and eyes still heavy with drowsiness, he looked effortlessly adorable and undeniably attractive at the same time. The sight caused a flutter in your chest, and you couldn't help but feel a blush creeping up your cheeks.

Snorting softly, you quickly tried to compose yourself, mentally chiding your traitorous heart for its sudden fluttering. You busied yourself with the excuse of fixing his hair, reaching out to gently run your fingers through the unruly locks, attempting to smooth them down.

"Uh, your hair's a bit of a mess," you mumbled, trying to sound nonchalant despite the warmth spreading across your cheeks. "Let me fix it for you."

“You're one to talk. You look like you just rolled out of bed yourself."

You rolled your eyes in mock annoyance, though the teasing glint in his eyes only served to deepen your blush. "At least I'm not the one who snores like a bear."

Byounggon chuckled, leaning into your touch as you continued to smooth down his hair. "Fair."

As you sat at the edge of the hotel’s pool, dipping your toes into the cool water, a sense of tranquility washed over you. 

Beside you, Byounggon crouched down, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he leaned in close. "Hey, I've been meaning to tell you something," he teased.

You raised an eyebrow, curious as to what he had up his sleeve. But before you could respond, he pushed you into the water with a playful shove, sending you splashing into the pool with a yelp of surprise.

Determined to get back at him, you didn't immediately swim to the surface but watched as Byounggon treaded water, clearly worried that he had gone too far. 

After a few seconds, he dove into the water, swimming towards you with a serious expression.

He grabbed you from underwater, pulling you into a tight embrace and wrapping your legs around his waist. "For fuck’s sake, don't scare me like that, you idiot," he scolded gently, his voice soft with concern. "I thought I hurt you.” 

You felt his heart racing against your chest as he scolded you.

The warmth of his touch seeped into your skin as you pressed closer to him. And as you found yourself between him and the pool’s walls, his body pressed close against yours, you couldn't ignore the sudden awareness of the closeness between you.

The way his chest rose and fell with each breath, the feel of his wet skin against yours, the way his arms held you securely - it all sent a shiver down your spine. 

As you returned to the hotel room, the exhaustion of all the swimming settled in, and you couldn't help but feel the overwhelming urge to just collapse onto the bed and succumb to the pull of sleep. 

"Hell, no. Be for real now," Byounggon was towel-drying his hair as he paced back and forth in the room before plopping on the bed. "We can't just waste the day sleeping! There's so much to see and do - waterfalls, hiking trails, beautiful beaches. We can't miss out on all of that!"

You let out an exasperated sigh, flopping onto the bed with a tired groan. "But I'm exhausted. I feel like I could sleep for a week. And besides, isn't the whole point of a vacation to relax and recharge?"

You continued to bicker back and forth, each stubbornly clinging to your own viewpoint, until you couldn't take it anymore. 

Straddling Byounggon, you leaned in close, trying to persuade him with your most convincing arguments.

"Come on, Goni," you pleaded, your hands resting on his shoulders as you looked into his eyes with determination. "Let's just stay in for now, order some room service, and go for dinner later. We can explore tomorrow when we're feeling more refreshed."

But as you spoke, you failed to notice the shift in his demeanor - the way his breath hitched slightly, the way his eyes darkened with lust. And as you leaned in closer, trying to sway him with the warmth of your proximity, Byounggon's hands found their way to your hips, his touch sending a jolt of electricity through you. 

Byounggon couldn't help but stare at you. He had always found you beautiful, but he had never told you that. He didn't want to risk ruining the friendship. But seeing you on top of him like this, talking about your vacation plans and whatnot - it was too much for him to handle.

He tried to focus on whatever you were saying, but his mind was elsewhere. Down in his pants, to be exact, where he was getting extremely turned on by the feeling of your body pressed against his.

As you continued to ramble on, Byounggon's thoughts were consumed with images of the things he wished he’d do to you. 

Running his hands through your hair. 

Kissing your lips.

Holding you close. 

Fucking you silly.

“Hey! Are you even listening to me?” You snapped your fingers in front of his face.

He snapped out of his thoughts and looked at you, trying to hide the bulge in his pants. “No, not really, no. I’ve told you not to do this”, he replied, his voice slightly strained.

You raised an eyebrow, confused “Do what? What's wrong? You’re being weird,” you asked, concern evident in your voice.

Byounggon took a deep breath and decided to take a chance.

He gently grabbed your hips,

“This…”,

then pressed you hard against his growing erection,

“is what's wrong." his voice was lower than what you were used to.

"You've been sitting on top of me for the past few minutes and I can't focus on anything but this,” he confessed, looking into your eyes.

Your eyes widened in shock as you felt his hard member pressing against you. 

You had never noticed how much your own best friend turned you on, or you him.

After a moment of silence, Byounggon broke the tension, “I know. I shouldn't have done tha-”

You shushed him, placing a finger on his lips, “It's fine. We're both adults. And besides, i-it's just a natural reaction.”

You couldn't believe what you were saying, but the way your body was responding to his touch was too much to ignore. So, you did a test roll of your hips against his lap, causing him to suck in a breath.

“Don’t play with me.”, he warned.

But you kept grinding against him, feeling the heat building between you. Byounggon's hand wrapped around your neck, pulling you in closer. Your heart raced as you felt his breath on your lips, the anticipation almost unbearable.

You parted your lips slightly, inviting him to close the distance, but he hesitated. 

You could see the conflict in his eyes, the struggle between desire and the fear of crossing a line with his best friend.

But you weren't about to let him pull away. You leaned in closer, your lips hovering just inches from his, silently urging him to take the leap.

"Goni," you whispered, your voice barely audible over the pounding of your heart. "Don't overthink. Just go for it."

He hesitated for a moment longer, his gaze searching yours for any sign of hesitation or uncertainty. But all he found was a fierce determination, a longing that mirrored his own.

And then, finally, he closed the distance between you. His lips met yours in a hesitant but passionate kiss.

It was intoxicating, filled with years of pent-up feelings and passion. You couldn't control the moan that escaped from your mouth as you ground your hips against Byounggon's, causing him to grip your waist tightly.

Breaking the kiss, you trailed wet ones along his jawline, your hands moving eagerly to rid him of his shirt, fingers tracing the contours of his chest. You tugged at the fabric, pulling it over his head and tossing it aside, your own following it soon after. 

Feeling emboldened, Byounggon leaned back, pulling you onto his chest as he deepened the kiss, his tongue exploring your mouth.

His hands roamed over your body, sending more shivers down your spine. You arched your back, unable to get enough of him as you pressed your body against his, feeling every inch of his skin.

You slipped a hand under Byounggon's waistband, your fingers grazing his throbbing length.

Byounggon pulled away from the kiss, panting heavily. “Are you sure you want to do this?”  

“I want it. And I'm sure,” you replied, your hand now firmly gripping him.

That was all the confirmation Byounggon needed. He flipped you on your back, moving lower, biting and sucking on the skin of your neck, leaving marks, pressing kisses along your collarbone before reaching your breasts. 

He looked up at you. A lustful spark in his eyes. Then took one of your nipples into his mouth, sucking and teasing, causing you to arch your back, letting out a soft moan.

Your hips bucked against his hand as he slipped his fingers under the waistband of your panties, flicking his fingers over your clit.

Your moans grew louder as Byounggon removed them and spread your legs apart. He took a moment to admire you before leaning down and lightly licking your slit. 

Your fingers tightened in his hair as he continued to tease with his tongue.

But he wasn't satisfied with just teasing you. He wanted to taste you. Fully. 

He slipped his tongue inside, lapping up your wetness and causing you to let out a strangled cry. He moved his tongue in circles, teasing your walls before flicking over your sensitive spot.

You gripped at the sheets, your body writhing with pleasure. Byounggon's mouth was working wonders on you, and you could feel your orgasm building. But before you could let go, Byounggon pulled away, earning a frustrated whimper from you.

He climbed up your body, hovering over you with a smirk. “You taste so good,” he whispered before capturing your lips in a rough kiss. You could taste yourself on his lips and it only turned you on more.

He positioned himself up at your entrance. Teasing was, apparently, his thing. He slid only the head of his cock in and out, watching your reactions.

You moaned in frustration, “Please, just fuck me already.”

But he continued to slide just the tip in and out, watching as your eyes rolled back in pleasure, “And if I just continue teasing you like this?”

"Fuck, please, for fuck's sake!" you breathed, craving him like your lungs craved oxygen.

After what seemed like an eternity, Byounggon finally pushed himself inside you, filling you completely. You both let out a moan, as he slowly moved in and out, savoring just how tight and wet you were for him.

He couldn't resist teasing you a little more, pulling out almost all the way before thrusting back in. Your moans grew louder with each thrust, nails digging into Byounggon's back.

Finally, unable to hold back any longer, he picked up the pace and pounded into you, thrusting in and out with a force that made you gasp. 

He pulled back before plunging back in, setting a fast and rough pace. And as your moans filled the room, Byounggon couldn't resist wrapping his hand around your throat, choking you just enough to bring you to the edge again.

“Fuck, don’t stop.” You cried out as you reached your peak, your walls clenching around him.

“I’m not intending on stopping, love.”

He continued to pound into you, his pace quickening as he chased his own release.Your legs were shaking and your voice had turned hoarse from screaming, but you really didn't want him to stop. You wanted more.

“Please,” you begged, your voice barely audible.

He lifted your leg and placed it on his shoulder, allowing him to penetrate even deeper, spreading you wider, plunging back inside. Harder.

“You want more, baby?” Byounggon growled, his hips slamming against yours with each thrust. "Hm?"

You only nodded, your head spinning from the intensity of the pleasure coursing through your body.

He leaned down and captured your lips in a hungry kiss, his hand reaching between your legs to rub your sensitive clit. Your moans were muffled by his mouth.

Byounggon could feel you getting close again and he wasn't far behind. He quickened his pace, his own moans joining yours. Your body tensed and you screamed out his name as you came, your walls milking him for all he was worth.

He collapsed on top of you, panting and covered in sweat. Byounggon wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close, kissing your forehead.

“Best friends. Right?” Byounggon whispered with a smile.

“Oh, fuck you, Gon!” you laughed.

“Bet I did.”

a/n: this fanfic is purely fictional and solely for fun. the character(s) mentioned do not represent in any form or way the celebrity/ies, but merely using their name(s) and appearance! do not translate or repost. all rights reserved /© minhoskofi/

[wontune]

Yonghee ☆ lockscreens ( cix )

[sejuneyland]

CIX 용희 | ♡ if saved or used

[yong-jelly]

Making out with cix when they’re horny? 👀

MAKING OUT WITH CIX | masterlist

g!n reader x cix

warnings: nsfw! (minors dni)

a/n: CIX BRAINROT AAA these were supposed to just be bullets but i got a littttle carried away hehe

‧₊˚. byounggon

you had suddenly straddled him while he was working on music at his desk, arms wrapped around his neck as you kissed him stupidly. he'd be a bit stunned at first, letting out a "woah, you okay, hun?" — but when you whispered into his ear how needy you were, a flip would switch in his head and he'd be all over you right away. his plush lips moved in sync with yours as you let him take the lead, his hands finding the tops of your thighs, squeezing and kneading the soft flesh. you couldn't help but moan into his mouth and the sound would only spur him on further. his hands would travel up your hips until they were pressed against your lower back where your shirt had ridden up slightly, drawing tiny circles on the exposed skin. he'd use his grip on you to help rock you in his lap, happily swallowing your moans with every brush of your hips against his.

"i'm gonna make you feel so good."

‧₊˚. seunghun

it'd start off with sleepy morning kisses, both of you still comfy in bed and barely awake. you'd be pressed close against his chest to salvage as much warmth as possible in the cold room, your lips moving lazily against his. one of his hands would tightly be gripping your waist as the kiss heats up, smoothly slipping his tongue into your mouth. you'd ride your hands up under his shirt, drawing patterns on his stomach, fingers dancing across his chest. your hands turn him on so much and he'd get hard from only that; you exploring his body. he'd roll onto his back, pulling you on top of him before latching his lips to your jaw, nipping at your sweet spots, and then he'll trail his kisses back up to your swollen lips. the way he rut up into your core drove you crazy, your hands finding solace on his shoulders to ground you.

"i want you so bad, baby," he'd let out in a breathy moan. and what he wants, he gets.

‧₊˚. yonghee

i feel like it'd start out super innocent. probably just watching a show in his bed, or taking a nap together. you feel him shift closer to you before resting his head on your shoulder — and then you feel his gaze on you. you'd look down at him and give him a soft smile before turning back to the screen — but then he'd lift his head and his hand would come up to your chin, turning your face back towards him, capturing your lips before you could even think. this kiss was needier than they usually are between you two and you couldn't stop the butterflies that swarmed in your stomach as his hand moved to hold the back of your neck. he would help you lay down gently before moving on top of you in one swift movement, never once breaking the kiss. yonghee rarely initiated intimacy like this and you knew that he had to have been really pent up to get to this point. you could feel his erection poking your thigh as he pressed himself against you, airy moans leaving his mouth as you reach up to tangle your hands in his hair and pull him even closer to you.

‧₊˚. jinyoung

jinyoung had his lips on yours the moment he had walked through that door. maybe sending him pics of you in only your underwear while he was working hadn't been the best idea — because now he was going to eat you alive. he'd run his fingers through your hair and tilt your head back in the process to expose your neck to him, lightly biting and kissing your skin — just enough to make you needy but not enough to bruise. your hands would be tightly clasped onto his jacket, unable to control your moans as he licked over a particularly hard bite before grabbing both of your cheeks in his hands and slamming his lips against yours again. he'd walk you back towards the couch, taking a seat before pulling you onto his thigh. you were already riled up by his lips, and the contact between your heat and the muscles of his thigh was enough to punch a moan out of you, dropping your head against his shoulder.

"none of that, prince(ss). i want to see how i make you fall apart."

‧₊˚. hyunsuk

you can immediately tell when hyunsuk is horny — he doesn't even try to hide it. he becomes so touchy and clingy and if you're not giving him attention, he'll follow you around the house like a dejected puppy. once you're finished with your tasks, you'll finally give him your attention, standing up on your tippy-toes to press a light and sweet kiss to his lips. when i tell you he'd literally whine when you pull away, grip your hips before you could slip off, and pull you in again ten times harder. he'd turn into putty in your hands when you slip your hands under his shirt and run your fingernails lightly down his back. the kiss would be so desperate, quiet gasps leaving your lips as he slowly backs you up against the wall. one of his arms would come up to cage you in, your senses only filled with the scent of his cologne and his soft lips on yours. he'd break the kiss to whisper all the things he wanted to do to you right then and there, his warm breath fanning your sensitive ears, sending shivers down your spine.

[astroyongie]

CIX April Reading 2024

note: please take it lightly

BX

love: well he is in a relationship but it doesn't feel like what he has is healthy to the slightest. I believe that BX’s relationship is based on control and conflict. I couldn't tell if this is him being the controllative one or if it's his partner that has these chains around his wrists. in any case this isn't a good relationship 

career: despite the group lying on the low and after all the scandals and things that have happened to them, BX doesn't seem to be as affected as he was when things happened. At the moment he is focused on his skills and on himself as an artist. the good thing is that he made a few connections in the industry and i believe that once he is free from the group he might pursue something solo 

self: at the moment he seems to be doing rather okay, he is focused on his wealth, on investments and he also has the support of his family when it comes to business and outside things that don't include his idol life. he is someone who has already planned everything in case things goes down

Seunghun

love: when it comes to seunghun, things are complicated with his relationship with that 4th gen idol. lately they haven't been together and i feel like he has been the one avoiding her for some internal reason. i think Seunghun us realizing he doesn't have feelings for them anymore but he doesn't know how to make a finished decision 

career: his career is complicated as hell, because Seunghun still has a lot of debts to pay off the company and other stuff he has to settle in and he doesn't have the financial support to do so. he has been trying to focus on his career for that, but Seunghun is type of person that does singing because they love singing and benign tangled in money issues, makes him upset

self: I believe that his health isn't the best at the moment, both physically and mentally. Seunghun has been going through some tough period that has plunged his energy into something gloomy. 

Yonghee

love: Yonghee is still in a relationship as well, but his love life isn't going as expected either. because despite the love him and his partner have for each other, the relationship was built around monetary and materialistic illusions, which makes Yonghee disappointed and dissatisfied with the current situation of the couple 

career: this isn't going well either. i believe that Yonghee might not be treated as good as one thinks inside the company. also the conflicts with the company and the members puts him in a tight spot because he doesn't know how to solve things. at the moment his working environment is the most toxic thing for him

self: mentally it’s complicated for him, he has been holding on and trying to push things through but it's complicated for him to do so. his body also suffers from the psychosomatic issues 

Jinyoung

love: He is still dating the higher up he was last time i did a reading for CIX, things keep going with the same patterns. This person isn't a good influence for him but Jinyoung doesn't seem to care about details in any case. this person has also influenced him into becoming more introverted and that might cause problems inside the group 

career: He has been distracted lately, he hasn't been working as hard as he used to (i still blame the whole situation around cix for this). but at the same time, the company keeps delaying projects, promotions, comebacks, always changing dates and changing schedules which annoys him a lot 

self: despite everything he seems to be holding on. he has the personality that also allows him to see things past his nose and to keep his vision on the future instead of the present conflits 

Hyunsuk

love: This man is single at the moment. i believe that he has confessed to someone but that the person kept leaning him on but eventually refused his proposal. he isn't hurt by it, just frustrated that he lost his time in such things 

career: he has been very restless lately when it comes to his job. i believe Hyunsul has been equally impulsive with some members but also with staff and people inside the company since he has a hard time controlling his impulsive and haste side of himself 

self: but his biggest problem at the moment is the conflict happening between his work and his family (which of course I won't be developing). these situations is what has pushed him to be more gloomy

[dalivanmagritte]

FIC REC : MULTI GROUPS

CIX

kim seunghun

you're my fireflower (fav!, fluff, angst, knight!au, witch!au, warrior!au, hybrid!au)

panty line crime and punishment (smut, office!au, ceo!au)

bae jinyoung

camboy (smut, camboy!au)

never forever (fluff, angst, royal!au)

yoon hyunsuk

bunny effect (smut)

kinky tarot reading (astrology, smut)

first (fluffy smut)

ENHYPEN

sim jake

not off limits (fluff, bestfriend's brother!au

THEBOYZ

eric sohn

san francisco vapor (fluff, angst, reincarnation!au, greekmythology!au)

sunburnt (fluff, pharmacist!au)

batter up! (luff, baseball!au)

all good boys (fluff)

coffee, waffles & the boy next door (fluff, neighbour!au)

summer nights (fluff)

endless race (finished serie, streetracer!au, mechanic!au, angst, fluff)

lee juyeon

splash! (fluff, lifeguard!au)

ATEEZ

first flight to hongkong (freaky ver) (basically a gangbang)

cleopatra part.1 (all members)

wooyoung:

déjà vu: i want you so bad (smut, fluff, college!au)

[angelic-jeonghan1004]

CIX reaction having to wakeup early but you're cuddling

More CIX!!! I hope you all enjoy <3 not my best but still cute! Hyunsuk I’m writing a separate one for as I have a thing I’m working on for the future teehee

Pairing: CIX x reader

Genre: pure fluff

Warnings: none!

♡๑⌓✿ ◍✧* ♡๑⌓✿ ◍✧*♡๑⌓✿ ◍✧* ♡๑⌓✿ ◍♡

Byunggon

When he woke up about 10 minutes before his alarm

He was upset

One of the members that would get up on time even tho he didn't want to but he would take the time to lay with you while he can

You two where just laying there and it was so sweet and nice

And you looked so cute to him man was gonna burst

Suspect him to just just lay with you and do an analysis of all your pretty features till he actually had to get up

He'll probably not wake you up but he'll plant a kiss on top of your forehead whispering "good morning baby I'll see you later" whether you're awake or not

Seunghun

This man's heart exploded

Waking up to his alarm then looking down and seeing you face squished against his chest snuggling into him?

Man is so sad that he has to leave you like this

Looking at you he just has the biggest grin

Kisses the top of your head

Probably takes a photo of you and if you allow makes it his lock screen

He's absolutely in love

But he'll still get up no matter how much he doesn't want to since man got bills to pay

It's gonna take him atleast 5 minutes before he departs from you

He's gonna get ready super quickly though so that any free time he gets to spend he's just gonna go right back to laying with you and just put his shoes on when he has to leave

Yonghee

Absolutely mesmerized!!! He loves you so much

Another one who's probably gonna take a photo of you might make it his lock screen (totally will make it his lock screen)

Will pamper your face in kisses and if you wakeup from his antics he'll feel super bad but he'll just spend the time to talk to you

Finds your sleepy voice so cute </3

Legit just falling deeper and deeper in love with you

To how sweet his morning is from your morning moment he'll get out of bed hesitantly

but when he gets back from the dorm man will be all over you affection wise to makeup for the many hours he was gone

Jinyoung

Bold of you to assume hell wakeup before you in the first place

You probably are gonna wakeup before him unless you're also a heavy sleeper

Another member might just go in to wake him up but freeze when they notice you're there

Once he's finally awake the fact that you're cuddling with him and you're both do cozy?? This man does not want to leave

He'd way rather sleep in

One to fake a sickness to sleep in that day with you

If the company allows he's gonna be so damn happy

Loves the idea of a lazy day with you

If not he'll leave but be very pouty

[neoraso]

pls read before requesting !

i'm limiting requests to these groups~

the boyz

seventeen

txt

enhypen

cix

skz (occasionally)

nct127

riize

you can always message me about other groups that aren't listed and i'll let you know if i can fulfill your request.

though most of my work in the past is smau and texts, i'd like to do more things outside of that :>

i'm 23 and don't feel comfortable writing about minors/people who just became adults/ people i knew when they were 14 /etc. in a suggestive manner and will only write anything romantic for '04 and above.

within that vein, if i'm uncomfortable with an ask, i will most likely not respond and delete it from my inbox. no hard feelings!

[cixthotshit]

Butterflies

Pairing: Yonghee x Femme Reader

Genre: One Shot, AU - Non-Idol Yonghee/University AU, Fluff

Summary: Tutoring sessions were for solving math problems, but with Kim Yonghee so close and patient, the fluttery feelings inside can't be ignored anymore...

Word count: 2.9k

Rating/Warnings: Mature/Not Beta Read, Sexual Themes: Kissing, Dry Humping, Body Touches, Sex Talk

Minors DNI! 18+ ONLY

Author’s Note: This was a request and THANK YOU SO MUCH Nonny!!!! I never thought anyone would send in a request! I'm so sorry it took me so long to fulfill your request. Personal life has been a lot T_T I'm not completely back from my hiatus, but I wanted to post this fic as a celebrations of sorts for FIX Day. IDK if I'll be around here for that.

I'm sorry for any mistakes or messing up OP's fantasy!

    The air vent whirred loudly. She wiped the fridge door handle one more time, eyes glancing around the floor.

    The tutoring session didn’t start until 6:00 PM but Yonghee always showed up five minutes early. Coat closet door squeaking as she threw the broom inside the dusty space.

    The doorbell rang loudly. Chipped polish from the tips of her nails snagged at the loose tendrils she brushed behind her ears. Dragging her feet, she scanned for any messes she might have missed.

    She made a vow to clean up after herself more routinely - instead of letting small messes clutter up until she had to worry about another human being seeing how she lived. Especially someone perfect. Smart. Put-together.

    Yonghee.

    Giving herself a few moments to catch her breath, adjusting the fit of her blouse as she stood beside the front door. Maybe it was too tight at the neck? Chest? She certainly wasn’t perfect.

    Far from.

    He was her tutor, helping her with her math homework, she couldn’t mess around with the idea of flirting with him. What she was concerned about wasn’t looking attractive to him. But she still had to present herself well. She couldn’t have her tutor thinking she was lazy.

    Her chest felt bubbly, like she could float into the air when she opened the door. Hands in his trousers pockets, blazer unbuttoned, and red tie impeccably in place against his creaseless white button-up, Yonghee looked more like her professor than her classmate. His round black framed glasses gave off an otherworldly maturity as he nodded to her in greeting.

    She could barely say more than a couple words to him as she let him in. His sparkling brown eyes lit up, jawline sharp as he smiled. Pearly white teeth shining, his high cheekbones heightening his handsome features. Almost lost in his beauty, she looked away.

    “Are you thirsty?” She walked over to her small white refrigerator in her tiny kitchen. “I have water or apple juice. Or beer?”

    “Water is fine, thanks.” His handling was careful as he set his shoes aside. Her body felt the familiar heat tingle up her stomach as Yonghee stood beside her, their shoulders touching as he washed his hands alongside her. “This soap smells good. Did you buy a new brand?”

    “You notice things like that?” Her head ached as hot blood rushed up to her head, neck and cheeks burning. He’d licked his lips as he smiled, eyes downcast.

    “You buy very good smelling soaps. I like this new scent too.”

    Her blouse felt heavy as the sensation of the silky fabric brushed against her skin. She turned away, hands grasping the paper towels from the rack that sat beside her glass kettle. The heat of his body created goosebumps up her back as he grabbed his own paper towel, reaching around her.

    She walked away from their close space together, getting two bottles of water out of her fridge. Watching him fold his damp paper towel before setting it down on the counter for reuse. He’d apologized profusely the first handful of times he kept throwing them into the trash after one use.

    “How did your Geometry test go?” He sat to her left at the kitchen table. Her back faced the front door and living room.

    Opening her Geometry book, she pulled out the five page quiz she took three days before. There were giant red marks all over the front page. A high, sweet whistle rang as he held her quiz up toward the lamp that sat behind him.

    “73% is a lot better than 59%.” Body feeling like it was a hot summer day, her blouse was heavy against the tops of her breasts. “I know I could have done better. I keep confusing congruent and similar triangles.”

    “That’s a great improvement.” His long fingers ran along the edge of the paper as he set it down. Her cheeks were ready to burst - like cherry tomatoes - his smile was sweet, eyes locking with hers. “Should we go over the questions you got wrong?”

    Tucking her left foot under her right leg, she leaned over as Yonghee picked up his black mechanical pencil. His thumb circled the eraser at the bottom end a couple times before clicking down to push out the lead tip. Dark tendrils fell over his forehead, head tilted down at the quiz.

    “Problem 4-” his pencil tapped against paper “-you forgot about the length of the third side. Despite being correct with the equal sides, that was the error.”

    Stomach aching, like something was growing inside. Up her chest.

    “I was so excited that I had written the equation down right, I can’t believe I forgot such a small thing.”

    “Hey, it’s OK.” His hand was over hers. The tone in his voice had gotten even softer. Like  a soft gust of wind. “Going over your mistakes is a good exercise. How else will you improve? A lot of people forget about the third side all the time.”

    The pink shade of his lips were the same shade as the panties she wore, making her stomach tingle like butterflies had been unleashed inside of her. His smile always made his eyes sparkle, even though the light of the lamp was behind him.

    Faking a cough, she freed her hand from his warm hold. Threw it over her mouth to look away. Hoping the sudden rush of butterflies inside would disappear. Wings thrashing against her chest and heart.

    “I should write this down.” She pulled out her stack of yellow Post-It notes, clicking the end of her pen against the table with her free hand. Deep breath, hoping the butterflies would settle down.

    For a while, they worked methodically together. He’d glance at the problem she got wrong, tell her where her mistake was, and she’d write down notes. The Post-It notes were placed inside her spiral notebook, each note having had Yonghee’s thick index finger gliding over it to make sure they remained adhered to her notebook.

    Her eyes were strained. Mind unable to track how long they’d been working. The mole she marveled so much at the corner of his eye came into view as he tilted his head down, capturing her gaze. Pretty inkspot on his creamy skin.

    “Are you tired? Should we do a stretch break?”

    He pushed his chest into the air as he brought up his arms, stretching them over his shoulders, flexing his elbows before throwing his fists up into the air over his head. Butterflies tickling her belly as his broad shoulders cracked. He’d pulled his blazer off. Shoulders looking so broad in his bleach white shirt.

    “Did you want coffee or tea?”

    “No. It’s too late for caffeine.”

    Tilting her head from side to side, she looked away from Yonghee’s gaze, eyes focusing on problem 36, one of the last problems she’d gotten wrong. Tension in her shoulders and neck loosened as the familiar cracking of her joints made noise when she rolled her shoulders back. Heat hit her cheeks as she locked eyes with Yonghee again.

    “Nice.” He smiled, eyes crinkling up. His handsome features brightened into sweet affection. “I knew we needed a stretch break.”

    “I don’t know why I’m so tense.”

    It was because Yonghee was beside her, smiling his innocently perfect smile, smelling like fresh linen and dew. Looking sexier than every before with loose tendrils falling over his eyes. Her chest shook deep inside, the million of butterflies rushing round and round her heart.

    His eyes moved down to the quiz that sat between their arms. She saw his lips moving but all she heard were noises, her mind unable to turn them into cohesive words. After a deep breath, her mind connected the noises with words.

    Settle down, butterflies. Please, settle down.

    “-in relation to the rectangle, not the triangles within it.”

    “Oh, I see.” She licked her lips, nervous. She’d taken nothing in. If she asked him to explain again, he’d know she hadn’t been paying attention. Worst tutor student ever. “Thank you, Yonghee. You’re so sweet. Coming here and teaching me so late. I probably waste so much of your time being so slow learning Geometry. As you know, I’ve never been good at math.”

    Mortified that she was babbling, she shifted her eyes down as his tongue licked his lips. They remained fixed on her blank Post-It notes as she thought of the pink dots she’d noticed flush up his cheeks. Her face was hot and her blouse felt heavy against her chest again.

    The sensation of hot blood rushing up her head finally dissipated. The insides of her ears stopped hearing loud ocean waves crash around as she realized the room had been silent for much longer than a minute.

    Yonghee had gone silent. The blurry corners of her limited vision were still, like he’d stopped moving too.

    “Yonghee?”

    “You will never waste my time. Every moment with you is special. No one cares for me like you do. I wish I could show you how much I want to care for you too. This tutoring is nothing.”

    She finally set her pen down and tilted her head up. His eyes were darting back and forth gently, studying her face. As she felt a hand on her neck, she touched his neck too. His face was coming in closer. His eyes were closing, so she did the same. His lips warmed hers.

    Her mind spun as the scent of his cologne filled her nose, infiltrating her mouth. Down her throat.

    She wanted more as his tongue wet her lips. Humming gently before she pushed her own tongue against his. His large, soft thumb caressed her jawline. Glided down the side of her neck.

    Fingers grabbing the collar of his shirt, she inhaled as she let him shove his tongue roughly into her mouth, moaning softly. Cool air touched her slickened lips as he broke their kiss.

    Her fingers slipped down his arm as he pulled away, one hand touching her chin. She wanted to blurt out how much she’d been wanting to kiss him, but she felt tears welling up in her eyes. If she did anything, she might cry.

    She shut her eyes, his lips over hers. The familiar musk and taste of sugary candy filled her senses. Hot tears pricked her eyelashes. Hands against his chest, she pushed him away, breathing heavily through her mouth.

    Eyes wide, he mirrored her breathing as she stood. Grabbing his hands, she tugged, hoping he would stand up. Tongue licking his lips, he grinned as he stood, hands shooting to her hips as he stood.

    “Oof!”

    Her mind blanked. She lost sense of gravity - air leaving her lungs.

    A moment passed as she realized her back had hit the wall, Yonghee’s sturdy body pressed against hers. Her mouth ajar, she inhaled dramatically, hands planted against his chest.

    “Are you OK?” His eyes were soft, fingers caressing her cheek, tilting her head up to look him in the eyes. Nodding, she pressed her lips together. “Can I kiss you again?”

    “Yes.”

    His thumb brushed over her lips, making heat surge down her chest to her stomach. Eyes shut. Knees weak. Yonghee’s hips pressing against hers.

    Biting her bottom lip, she bunched the fabric of his shirt into her fists. Their lips met again, his sweet kisses consuming her.

    Wrapping her arms around his neck her finger raked through his soft tendrils. His tongue flicked against her lips with every kiss. She teased him; parting her lips the slightest bit with every tug from him. His gentle hum against her lips as he paused to press their lips together shook her sinuses, reverberating down her spine.

    His lips on her neck, she bucked up against him. Breathing in deeply through her mouth. Knuckle lodged between her teeth, she bit down as her hold around him tightened, stifling a moan. His fingers massaged her flesh as they explored her back and hips.

    When his fingers caressed the inside of her thigh, heat surged up her insides, making the heat between her legs noticeably warmer. She released him, hands back to his chest. Her whole body filled up with butterflies, her mind spinning with jumbled thoughts. As much as she wanted more, she firmly pushed against his chest, making him break their kisses.

    “Have you had dinner?” Her fingers brushed the loose hairs away from his forehead.

    “I’m not very hungry right now.” His stomach grumbled loudly between them as it shook against her front.

    “Let’s order something.” She laughed as the apples of his cheeks flushed pink. “You need to eat.”

    She sat down on the couch with her legs crossed in front of her, feet tucked underneath as she scrolled through her phone.

    The local fish and rice restaurant sold a tofu and bamboo soup she enjoyed, and they also sold a boiled chicken and rice dish that was quite popular. With one arm around her waist, body resting against hers, he held her close. She was seated in the sun with him.

    Her focus was barely hanging on by a thread as he cooed gentle affirmations into her ear, finger continually brushing her loose baby hairs away from her face.

    “We don’t need to order rice. I have some.”

    His lips warmed the pulse on her neck. A gentle “Mmm-hmm” vibrated against the front of her throat. She moaned, his tongue flicking her skin.

    “I-I-I like boiled chicken. Do you want me to order some?”

    “Yes.” His nose nuzzled against the back of her ear. His deep inhale sent shivers down her spine. “You smell like lavender and peony, so sweet. So warm.”

    His fingertips’ strokes against her skin sent heat rushing down her neck. By the time she finalized the order, his lips were back on her neck, sending goosebumps down her chest and back.

    “Yonghee.”

    His lips were over hers. She grabbed his tresses to direct him into a better kiss. Her arms tightened around his neck as his arms parted her legs, settling himself between them.

    She gasped against his lips as she felt the heat of his cock against her clothed center, the weight of his hips creating a heavy upwards friction that pushed against her labia.

    “That feels so good,” she breathed against his lips, nails digging into the flesh of his neck.

    “I don’t want to rush it,” he said softly.

    “Liar!” She laughed as she pushed against his chest.

    His eyes were heavily hooded as he planted his hands on her hips. Bucked his hips against her again, harder and faster.

    She cried out, feeling her chest ache, gasping for air. Arms hooking under his armpits, she clung onto his shoulders as she thrust against his motions.

    The friction sent waves of fiery heat deep into her core. Her insides were hot and wet. Sweat and arousal making her whole body tingle.

    “Do you want to do more than this?” He quickened his thrusting, hands grabbing her wrists as she loosened her grip on him. She arched her back, hips no longer able to keep up with Yonghee. Her mind was filled with the pleasure of his cock throbbing and rubbing against her wet heat. “You’re so beautiful. So warm. Do you want more?”

    “I-I-I can’t!” He stopped, breathing heavily as he held her arms down beside her shoulders. As he opened his mouth, she cut him off. “Th-this isn’t my first time, but I’m shy. I’m not just a girl you can sleep with.”

    “I wouldn’t just sleep with you.”

    “I’m not a naive girl, you know. I know a lot of guys say that.”

    He got off of her, holding his hands out as he offered to help her sit up. Her cheeks flushed with heat as she watched him sit back in his seat, giving room between them.

    “Don’t be silly.” She moved to wrap her arms around his waist, resting her head against his chest. “What plans do you have tomorrow?”

    “I have an exam in my morning class, and then I’m free to study for the rest of the day.” One arm wrapped around her body as his free hand touched her chin, making her look up at him. “Will you join me for lunch? I want to spend time with you outside of our tutoring lessons.”

    “What did you have in mind?” Her shoulders felt tense as heat rushed up her stomach to her chest.

    “There’s a sushi place nearby here that sells melon shaved ice too.”

    “That sounds nice. And afterwards, why don’t we come back here and do some more math?”

    “You want to study?” His voice raised a few notes, making her laugh as she sat up to look at him.

    “Add in you and me,” she began slowly, hand touching the front of his shirt, fingernail tapping against the top button of his shirt, “subtract our clothes, divide the energy it takes for you and me to have a good time-”

    “-I get it, I get it.” His nose nuzzled against her cheek as his lips warmed her neck. “I’ll buy condoms and chocolates and…lube?”

    “So romantic, Yonghee, you’re so calculated.”

    “You’re not as good at puns as you think.”

    “Coming from a math wiz, that doesn’t add up to much.”

    She laughed into his lips as his hands were back at her wrists, his body pushing her to lie down onto the couch.

    Body consumed with butterflies, she held onto him tight. Yonghee spun her world upside down, but he held her safe, hands holding hers tight, lips sucking her earlobe. A sweet sigh escaped her lips.

    “Thank you for this tutoring session, Yonghee.”

---

Thank you for reading!!!

Love, CC ♣︎

[minghaoyoudoin]

Can I request Cockwarming with CIX? 🙏🏼

I have so much to say and there are not enough words in the english language but here we go!

rating: 18+ only!!! if you're a minor and I catch you interacting I'm gonna getcha!!

warnings: fem!reader, cockwarming, brief mention of baejin's mirror kink (hehe I couldn't resist)

lee byounggon (bx): he absolutely loves it. there is not a single doubt in my mind. the idea of cockwarming wasn’t really something he’d considered before (you had to explain what it was the first time you brought it up) but once he tried it? MAN OH MAN this guy cannot get enough. there’s something about the tight warmth of you that drives him absolutely wild and makes any movement—accidental or not—all that much more electric. I can see him being the type to purposefully move the tiniest bit just to watch the way you squirm around him. it doesn't always have to be about sexual gain for him, though. after a hard or tiring day it's things like this that make cuddling with you all that much more special for him.

"please move, you're driving me insane."

"why would I do that when you look so pretty right now?"

rest of the members below the cut!

kim seunghun: he is such a little shit, that's all there is to it. seunghun absolutely thrives on your tiny whimpers and gasps any time he shifts and he can't help but continue to tease you until you're a begging mess. I think he's always been intrigued by the idea of cockwarming and was extremely excited the first time you mentioned it. he always seems to propose the idea in the most casual situations: you're watching a movie? it'd be better with his cock inside you. you're sitting on the couch reading a book in silence? you'll find a greater appreciation for the literary canon if he's nestled inside your walls. seunghun's favorite place to be in this world is tangled up with you, breathing in the scent of your shampoo while you hug his cock. he'd be completely fine if the interaction didn't end in sex, but who are we kidding? you can never seem to get enough of him.

"what's the matter, baby? is this movie not interesting enough?"

"I couldn't tell you a single thing that happened in the past ten minutes."

kim yonghee: yonghee is the type to do anything you ask of him simply because it would make you happy. on a scale of one to ten, ten being someone who loves cockwarming with the strength of a thousand suns, yonghee is a solid five. he hadn't really wanted to try it with anyone before you but that first time was a game-changer for him. I think what he loves most about it is that you always feel so much closer to him than you normally would, even if there's no expectation to follow through with full intercourse. he adores you being on top anyways, and there's something about sitting on the couch or at his desk with you straddling his lap that makes his heart erratically beat. simply put, he lives and breathes to touch you and he loves cockwarming because it allows him to touch every inch of you he can.

"you're so warm, I wish we could stay like this forever."

"forever it is, then."

bae jinyoung: he doesn't get it. at least, he didn't. you had to pester him about giving it a try for weeks before he finally decided to oblige you (though it really only took that long because he adores the way your nose scrunches when you're annoyed). but then. after that first time, he realizes that there's a whole new realm of intimacy that he hadn't thought to explore yet. he typically only engages in cockwarming with you as foreplay, eating up every micro-change in your expression or tiny sound you make when he adjusts his hips. and though he won't admit it out loud, cockwarming really gets him going. any time you glance at his face his teeth are digging into his lower lip and his brows are scrunched over his eyes. and though I consider jinyoung to be a pretty firm top, there are opportunities for a power-shift here that wouldn't normally be there.

"look in the mirror, baby. if you want me to move, you have to watch."

yoon hyunsuk: he's actually the one that brought this up to you. he was so sweet and shy about it, blushing up to his hairline, that you had no choice but to obey him. I'm convinced that hyunsuk is vocal in bed and cockwarming with you would be no different. any time you shift your hips in his lap or tense your walls the smallest bit he lets out a shuddering breath that sends heat pooling straight to your core. and even though he's the one who brought up trying it in the first place, it always ends with his soft pleas to fuck you into the mattress. much like yonghee, he feels closest to you during these moments. there is no greater comfort to him than holding you tight to his chest and he can't help but believe you when you whisper that you love him.

"I realize I'm the one who wanted to try this, but can I please move?"

"giving up already?"

thank you for reading! as always, please leave a like or reblog if you enjoyed it and STREAM 458! bye loves!

masterlist here :)

© minghaoyoudoin 2022- all rights reserved.reposts/translations not allowed. I do not assume to know the personal lives of the idol(s) depicted in this fic, this is for entertainment purposes only!

[minhoskofi]

chapter 4: in and out

warnings: smut :)

word count: 1.3k

masterlist

As the months passed, you and Byounggon continued to grow closer, your bond deepening with each day. The unspoken understanding between you felt so natural, and you reveled in the comfort and joy that came with being by his side.

However, there was a question that you couldn’t get off your mind. Despite the undeniable connection and the way you both already acted like a couple, there had never been an official conversation about your relationship. It wasn't that you doubted Byounggon’s feelings or commitment, but the absence of a clear definition left you longing for something more concrete.

One afternoon, as you lay on the couch behind Gon in his music studio, the question burned in your chest. Unable to contain your thoughts any longer, you mustered the courage to confront him, seeking clarity about where you both stood.

"Goni?”, you began hesitantly, “We've been together for months now, and I can't help but wonder... What exactly are we? Are we...like, a couple?"

Byounggon turned to face you, confusion evident in his eyes. He got up from his desk, coming to stand in front of you. He gently placed his hands on your thighs, his face hovering just inches from yours, his warm breath caressing your skin.

His voice sounded sincere, "Sorry if I never made it clear. It didn't even cross my mind because being with you feels so right, so natural. But if you need that official label, then…" 

Without another word, Gon leaned in, capturing your lips in an ever so passionate kiss. His hands moved from your thighs to cradle your face, deepening the kiss, as if trying to convey all the emotions that words could not express.

The question of your relationship status faded into insignificance. The intensity of the kiss and the way your man held you spoke loud enough about the depth of your connection. 

As the kiss broke, Byounggon with a shy yet endearing smile, found the courage to speak, "Well…I mean, if you want... could you, uh… will you officially be my girlfriend?", he rapped out the last few words and buried his face in the crook of your neck in embarrassment. 

You couldn't help but smile at his adorable shyness, and with a soft chuckle, you replied, "Yes, Gon, I'd love to officially be your girlfriend.", almost mockingly. 

As Byounggon immersed himself in the creation of his track again, the rhythmic beats and melodies filled the air, leaving you with a boredom that begged for distraction. 

Deciding to entertain yourself and perhaps add a playful interruption to his creative process, you approached him.

Teasingly, you traced light patterns on his back, the gentle touch breaking through the intensity of his focus. Leaving a trail of seductive kisses along his neck and jawline, you couldn't help but revel in the warmth of his skin beneath your lips.

Byounggon, feeling the unexpected caresses, found himself torn between two thoughts, “Is this how you show me your support or are you trying to turn me on… because it’s working.”

But as your advances persisted his concentration reached a breaking point. With a mischievous glimmer in your eyes, your fingers deftly played with the buckle of his belt, the metallic clasp yielding to your touch. The sound of the buckle coming undone echoed in the room.

“So that’s how we’re playing…” Unable to resist any longer, Byounggon seized control of the situation. He turned away from his laptop, and captured your lips in a fierce and demanding kiss. 

With every kiss, every touch, the intensity grew and your hands roamed freely over each other's bodies, exploring every curve and crevice with a feverish urgency, “Was this what you wanted?” Byounggon managed to mutter in between your lips.

Without giving him a verbal answer, your fingers reached for the hem of your shirt, slowly inching it upwards, revealing tantalizing glimpses of your bare skin.

Gon's gaze intensified, his breath hitching as he watched the fabric slide over your chest, exposing the curve of your breasts. As your shirt fell to the floor, Byounggon wasted no time. His hands moved with a sense of purpose, his fingers tracing the outline of your body, sending shivers of anticipation down your spine. He unhooked your bra, releasing your breasts, and the cool air caressed your skin.

With a hunger in his eyes, Gon's hands moved lower, his fingers undoing the button of your pants. The fabric slid down your legs, pooling around your ankles, leaving you standing there in nothing but lacy panties.

A playful smile danced on your lips as you reached for Byounggon's shirt, your fingers eagerly unbuttoning it one by one. The fabric parted, revealing his chest.

Your hands roamed his bare skin, tracing muscles, feeling the warmth radiating from his body and you pushed the shirt off his shoulders, letting it fall to the ground, forgotten.

Byounggon's hands now found their way to your hips. He hooked his fingers into the waistband of your panties, tugging them down slowly, his eyes never leaving yours, “Fuck me silly, Gon”, the words fall out of your mouth before you could stop them.

“Patience, princess. Not before I taste you first”, Byounggon spoke against your skin as his mouth left gentle kisses down your core. The tip of his tongue lingered, drawing slow, sensuous circles over your clit, each rotation sending ripples of pleasure coursing through your body. His touch was deliberate and precise, building your arousal to dizzying heights. 

As the circles tightened, his tongue applied a gentle but persistent pressure, intensifying the stimulation on your clit. Waves of pleasure washed over you, making your body arch and writhe with an insatiable hunger for more.

“You’re so fucking wet for me”, Byounggon's tongue moved in a rhythm that matched the quickening pace of your breath and the growing urgency of your moans. 

As his tongue delved deeper, you felt the waves of pleasure crashing over you, building with every flick and every swirl. Your moans of ecstasy filled the room and the wet heat of his mouth enveloped you, “Please Gon, I need you inside me”, you breathed out, your voice filled with a desperate longing.

The words hung in the air, Byounggon’s gaze met yours, a wild intensity burning in his eyes as he settled himself between your legs, his hands gripping your hips possessively. 

"Be a good girl now," he whispered, his voice laced with a mixture of raw need and determination.

As he slid impatiently into you, a gasp escaped your lips, the sensation of him filling you completely sent waves of pleasure throughout your body. You wrapped your legs around him, pulling him closer, urging him to go deeper.

“Shit, Goni-”, almost inaudible words spill from your lips. Each thrust was pushing you closer to the edge.

"Fuck,” Byounggon groaned, “you feel so good," he kept sliding in and out of you while leaving sloppy kisses along your jawline down your neck, the tightness of you just perfect to his liking.

Your moans mingled with his, creating a symphony of pleasure that filled the studio. "Harder," you pleaded, your voice filled with urgency, "I want all of you." Byounggon complied, his movements becoming more intense and fervent.

"Gon, I'm so close," you whimpered desperately. 

"Let go, baby," he encouraged, "Come for me."

Your grip on him tightened, your walls squeezing him so intensely that he too could no longer hold back. With a final, powerful thrust, he succumbed to the overwhelming pleasure, finding release within you.

The room filled with breathless moans of satisfaction. As you both came down from , your orgasms, your bodies still intertwined, Byounggon's voice filled the air. "That was incredible," he murmured, "I can't get enough of you."

previous chapter next: chapter 5

[restlessmaknae]

never forever [jinyoung]

Just as much as you would have liked to delude yourself into thinking that you could have anything together with prince Jinyoung, it would be simply impossible as long as you were a servant and he was a prince. Which meant that you could never do so.

➳ Characters: prince!Jinyoung x female court lady!reader/you

➳ Genre: romance, angst, fantasy, magical realism, kingdom au

➳ Words: 11.8k

➳ Warning: mentions of minor character deaths, poison, political tension, attacks

➳ A/N: This story had the most votes in my poll, so I hope it lives up to your expectations. 🥰 It can be read on its own or with Seunghun's story that took place before this one. ❤️

➳ CIX taglist: @wccycc, @dat-town

When you had been younger, your favourite word had been ‘forever’. Warmth had always invaded your heart when you thought of this particular word, and how your parents had promised each other that they would love each other forever. Your mother had told you multiple times too that her love was not only infinite towards your father but you as well. Forever was like a precious friend to you, a little gem that you would try to keep safe as much as you could, holding it close to your heart, holding it dear.

Then, forever had turned to never when your mother had died. When you had realised that you would never see her again, your world had shattered, the little gem slipping through your fingers, falling to the ground and breaking into tiny pieces. Even though your father had reassured you that your mother would love you even from the spirit realm, you hadn’t been convinced because forever had seemed so far away. You had decided that it was stupid to have a word that didn’t make sense. After all, forever didn’t exist.

You had been 6 at that time. Your mother had been a lady-in-waiting to the Queen at the royal palace, so you hadn’t seen her during the week, only on the weekend. You had spent your days at home reading books and practising writing while your father had been teaching his pupils in a different room. He had been a great scholar, teaching those at your home who could not afford the institutions he had taught at most of the time. For some time, you had resented the royal family for keeping your mother away from you when you had known all too well that your mother had been deeply grateful for the royal court for providing her with a high status job and a very decent pay that allowed her to shower you in gifts.

On the other hand, when your mother had died, and the court had organised your mother a funeral, more glorious (thus more heart-wrenching) than you could have ever imagined, your feelings had completely changed. When the Queen had come up to you afterwards and lowered herself down to be at eye-level with you (disregarding the gasps from the court ladies around her, warning her of her dress potentially becoming smudged because of the muddy ground), your tears had fallen even more fervently. You had wanted nothing more than to hide during the ceremony, so to be seen and acknowledged by the Queen herself brought on a handful of different emotions.

“When I was around your age, I also lost my mother. I thought of it as a great shame on top of being a great loss. A young girl growing up without a mother? I thought people wouldn’t take me seriously, they wouldn’t look at me for who I am, they would always see the girl without a mother,” she had shared, and you had watched her with tears streaming down your face, your mouth slightly agape. You hadn’t heard of the Queen losing her mother at such a young age, but you had been young, and your parents hadn’t told you stories about the royal family back then.

“And they did?” You had asked between little sobs that reverberated through your body.

The Queen had given you a gentle smile, and you had wondered if all mothers smiled the same - so lovingly, so forgivingly, so reassuringly. Her smile hadn’t been exactly like your mother’s, but you could feel the genuine affectionate behind the delicate curve of her lips, something that mirrored your own mother’s. The kind of smile that parents gave you when you admitted that you did something wrong, but all that mattered to them was that you were safe and sound.

“No,” she had shaken her head. “I proved them wrong, and I showed them what I can do regardless of what happened. You can do, too,” she had added so confidently that your little heart had welcomed the undeniable hope that her words had brought along, newfound warmth spreading through your veins until you had realised that…

“But… I am not a royal.”

“Where you come from doesn’t matter, whether you have a positive impact on just one person or a whole nation doesn’t matter either. You are valuable as you are,” the Queen had pointed out, her words like a wise scholar’s. You had just blinked at her, wide-eyed and amazed, and you hadn’t even realised that you had stopped crying in the meantime, you had been so focused on what she had been saying.

You had been so awestruck that you couldn’t have spoken up, and you didn’t remember whether it had been what had prompted the Queen to bid her goodbye or she had been told by her court ladies to presume her duties for the day, but you remembered one thing very clearly.

That day, you had decided that you would have a positive impact on the Queen’s life, and you would try to be there for her just as much as she had been there for you at that time. So when a year later, the royal court had announced that they would hold their annual recruitment day for new servants, you had applied.

You had read every book on royal etiquette, you had learned embroidery, sewing and all sorts of activities that might be tested during the recruitment process in that year, determined on making the cut. You hadn’t even been the youngest candidate, there had been girls as young as 5 trying to secure a future for themselves (or more like pressured by their families), but you had been dedicated for a different reason: to serve the royal family and to repay them for all they had done for your family including sending your mother on her last journey so graciously.

Even though you hadn’t succeeded on the first try, you had done so a year later. Since then, you had been trying to live up to your mother’s memory, hoping that she would be proud of how you were serving the royal family, living to make their lives as comfortable as possible, living for them.

Little did you know, one day, that would be the exact same reason you would feel so torn to fall in love.

The first few years at the palace, you spent learning. Then, you applied what you learned. Then, you practised everything over and over again until you wouldn’t make a mistake. Finally, as years went by, your service to the palace became a valuable treasure, an important part of the operations. Your loyalty and diligence meant that you were keen on doing the best you could, and your perseverance didn’t waver even in hard times.

However, no matter the many lessons and learnings during those years, the greatest teacher and the dearest compliment you could get for your hard work was when you could upgrade your rank. After 15 years of service and being over the age of 20 meant that you could rightfully start serving one of the royal family members directly or one of those who stayed at the palace. For instance, a few girls who were at the congratulatory ceremony beside you would assist the royalty that were visiting the palace from time to time, and two of those now stayed beside a princess who came from a kingdom further up north, who was currently spending her time in exile at your court. Due to the trade agreements and favourable business partnerships, it wasn’t uncommon to provide a shelter or a hiding place for those who came from different kingdoms, but couldn’t stay in their own residence for whatever reason.

You, on the other hand, were assigned to the Queen herself, and even though you would never brag about your conversation with the Queen at your mother’s funeral ceremony, you knew that the smile she gave you when she handed you your new gown and your matching hairpin - engraved with a lotus symbol for prosperity and a dragon mimicking the ones that guarded the palace for safety - was telling tales about her positive feelings towards your future services.

After an elderly lady-in-waiting had passed away, two female servants took her place including you. You knew that you were still fairly young compared to the other court ladies, but you had been serving at the palace for so long already, and you excelled at every task they had given you. You knew though that the major reason that you had been assigned to the Queen was because you could read and write well, something that would be needed to discreetly handle the letters the Queen received and sent.

However, following the Queen almost everywhere meant that you had more interactions with the other royal family members and those who were close to them - soldiers in higher up ranks, master magicians and magical creature tamers. In passing by, you caught glimpses of the royal family members while serving them in the past years, but that couldn’t be compared to the experience of being in the same room with them, to see them from up-close.

When you first accompanied the Queen to the practise field where prince Jinyoung was receiving his training, you realised that he still lived in your memories as someone around your height with a cheeky smile when he was running around the court, making his nannies run after him, and you were taken aback by his height and his built now. He was tall and slender, but when he reached his sword out to attack, his muscles clearly showed through the thin fabric he wore. Drops of sweat rolled down his cheeks while he was concentrating, and his features were solemn and hard.

His practice partner was Seunghun - a soldier you saw around the court frequently. Rumour had it that he was courting one of the medics, but you didn’t know whether to believe that because all sorts of gossip were flying around. Besides, others’ love life was none of your business, but since you and Seunghun had joined the court around the same time, you knew him and his way of talking to the ladies - all smooth and flirtatious. He had that cheekiness to him even when he was younger, no wonder he was on good terms with the prince.

The Queen halted by the side of the field, and you did, too, a few steps away from her. The prince and the soldier were so engrossed in their practice battle that they didn’t even take notice of her presence until they finished with their round of sword fight, Seunghun coming out as the winner.

“What is the purpose of today’s practice?” The Queen raised her voice, confident and unwavering, while looking at the boys. Seunghun didn’t fail to bow upon seeing her, but his grin was still a bit cocky when he helped the prince to his feet.

“Just some… friendly duel, Your Majesty,” he answered joyfully, and he patted the prince’s shoulder when prince Jinyoung straightened up. “Even if he were to be seriously hurt, one of our great medics would tend to his wounds,” he added in a friendly manner, but you could hear the Queen’s voice hardening when she spoke up.

“Not so much if he can help it himself.”

“Of course,” the soldier’s smile faded immediately, and he bowed his head apologetically. Prince Jinyoung tensed a bit beside his friend, but his eyes were trained on his mother, not on his friend. You didn’t spend enough time around him to tell what his eyes could show, but you had a feeling that he wasn’t that delighted about the Queen’s words. If your assumption about his power was right, you knew why.

“Well then, keep going,” the Queen made a waving gesture with her hands, indicating that they could move on, and turned on her heels to head back to the palace. You bowed to the prince and soldier alongside the other servants, signalling your departure.

Afterwards, you waited for the older ladies to follow suit as they were the first to follow behind, you were supposed to be the last as you were the youngest one. Even though your rank was the same as theirs, age order was still important.

You took a few steps forward when you felt your hair loosen, and you instinctively reached for the back of your neck, gasping when you couldn’t feel your hairpin. You were about to turn around just at the same time as a figure slid into your vision, and put your lotus and dragon carved hairpin into your hands. It was for the briefest of a second, so was his rough touch, but you felt like you could feel the ghost of it on your skin even after he yanked it away.

Your eyes frantically went to the figure’s face, and you were about to open your mouth to thank him, but he put his index finger on his lips. Why couldn’t you thank prince Jinyoung for helping you out? Why wouldn’t you?

You were so baffled by his indication that words died on the tip of your tongue, and he was out of your reach as quickly as he ran up to you, so there was no way you could go after him. You were already behind the other servants, so you needed to catch up to them.

However, as you were hurrying after them, you looked back at the field, the prince and the soldier already in another round of a fight, no remains of the recent incident, only the ghost of his touch on your hand and the mystery in his pitch-black eyes when he handed you your hairpin.

In a magical kingdom like yours, you were grateful that you could be of help to the royal family even though you didn’t possess magic. The magic in your kingdom lied in healing, hence there were two types of medicine in your kingdom: magical and non-magical medicine. Magical medicine was mostly used on the members of the royal court including the royal family and the royal army, plus magical creatures that lived in the woods or in the mountains - such as fairies, unicorns and such - or serving the kingdom - such as dragons guarding the palace.

Non-magical medicine, on the other hand, was used on humans to treat their wounds, and that was what most medics practised outside of the palace, though it was applicable at the court as well in non-emergency cases and subtle illnesses. Magical medicine was also extremely rare since only magical practitioners could deal with it because they were the ones born with the ability to tame magic, but even they needed thorough practice and extensive training to be able to make use of their abilities to their full potential. Magical medics were also almost exclusively serving at the palace. The royal family was also said to be possessing magic in their veins, though they didn’t have to use it on themselves because the most powerful magicians were already in their court, serving them.

Neither of your ancestors had magic, so it was unlikely that you would, but having a scholar as a father and a royal servant as a mother meant that you knew that you could use other skills and strengths to your advantage, so you never felt any less than those who were born with magic. You were merely in awe at what some people could do, and when you could see for yourself how magical medics worked at the palace, you were mesmerised. Even if the Queen had a headache, not a physical injury, all the medic needed to do was place their hands above her core - the centre of her energy - and she was healed, though advised rest for the night.

For that reason, you could leave the Queen’s chamber earlier than usual after helping her to bed, and while the rest of the ladies were heading to their own rooms in the courtyard, you were staying back to stroll around the garden that separated the palace from the court. A part of the garden was reserved for the royal family only, but the other was accessible by everyone, and you liked walking around the pond dotted with a palette of colours, a different type of fish hiding behind each distinctly shaped creature, water lilies breaking the smooth surface of the water and lanterns lighting up the sideways like little stars on the sky.

When you walked these parts of the palace, you wondered if your mother had been the same. She hadn’t really talked about her time at the palace - what she was doing when she wasn’t on duty, how the place looked like and what was her favourite part of the court -, if she did, she only talked about the Queen and her admiration towards the woman. Ever since being part of the court though, you couldn’t help but imagine your mother walking down the same path, looking at the little bridge connecting the path to a pavilion as you did now, walking the same corridors and feeling the same sense of belonging as you did now.

“I hope you’re proud of me, mother,” you mumbled to the dark sky above you that seemed like a blanket covering the palace grounds, your words carried away by the gentle breeze of this fine spring night. You hoped that she was at peace in the spirit realm, and looked over you fondly. No matter how many years had passed by, there was still a part of you that missed her.

With a resigned sigh, you looked down at the pond in front of you, and decided to leave. However, as you were about to walk back, you crossed paths with prince Jinyoung who seemed to be walking around as well. You were surprised that he was alone, no soldiers guarding him, but maybe he had time to himself at these late hours just like the Queen did after you left her in her chambers.

“Your Highness,” you greeted him immediately, bowing out of respect. When you straightened your back, you looked up at the prince, and he was already looking at you, his deep, dark eyes boring into yours. It seemed that he was about to say something, but he changed his mind, and pressed his lips into a thin line. You blinked up at him, uncertain what to do or what to say for it was scarce that you were alone with a royal family member. In fact, it was the first time that it was just the two of you, and the thought sent a shiver down your spine.

“Are you done for the day?” Prince Jinyoung broke the silence after clearing his throat, and your heart was both heavy and light upon his question. You didn’t know what you had expected him to say or if you had expected anything, but his inquiry still caught you off-guard. In a positive way.

“Yes, Your Highness.”

He bobbed his head, acknowledging your words, and you had a feeling that he wanted to say something but couldn’t this time either. Or maybe it was because he seemed so out of reach usually; the mighty, ethereal prince Jinyoung who was said to be cool-headed and reasonable, a great fighter and a hard-worker in whatever he did. He was said to excel in everything, making him the perfect heir to the throne. From a young age, he had the watching eyes of the people, the weight of the kingdom’s future on his shoulders, and a responsibility that could crush anyone, let alone a boy so young. In passing, he had always seemed so composed, knowing exactly what to do and what to say, and you had heard only good things about him.

On the other hand, he seemed so humane now. A human being searching for the right words to say with secrets in his heart and mysteries in his eyes. Libraries of tales were about him, but when he was standing there in front of you in his white royal attire, he seemed nothing more than a boy around your age. The thought soothed your nerves and scared you at the same time.

You shouldn’t look at him that way, you work for the royal family after all.

“Well then…” You broke the silence that fell upon the two of you, bringing him out of whatever stupor he was under. “Good night, Your Highness!” You bowed yet again, ready to continue your walk to the court.

Nonetheless, before you were out of hearing range, the prince spoke up, though his eyes weren’t trained on you, but on the pond in front of him.

“Your mother would be proud.”

The words made you halt and turn to the prince who was examining the water as if he was pondering how to describe the sight properly. The lanterns lit up the way of the footpath, and amongst them, one was shining directly onto him, and now with you in the shadows of a nearby tree, and him in the light, you wondered how the two of you from two different worlds could be having this conversation now.

“How… How do you know about my mother?” You blinked in confusion. You didn’t believe that he could have heard you before, but maybe he could.

“You are not the only one who likes to go to the pond late at night,” he replied without any shame or any cheekiness in his voice as he turned towards you, and even though you were further away than before, you could see the end of his lips curling upwards. Before you could grasp onto this moment though, the prince turned on his heel and walked towards the pavilion, walking away from you and from the light that was shining onto him.

Afterwards, it happened a few more times that you and prince Jinyoung met in the garden, around the pond. Truthfully, when you hadn’t been serving the Queen, and you had been working in the courtyard instead of the palace, you had come to the pond, but not so late at night. However, it felt good to take a bit of a walk somewhere aside from the walls within the palace, and the garden was truly mesmerising under the moonlight. So you could believe that you hadn’t crossed paths with the prince before because you had been walking around at different times.

On the other hand, despite knowing that you might meet him in the garden these days, you didn’t back away. After all, you weren’t doing anything shameful, and no one else was around, so rumours couldn’t fly around regarding you two. At least, you tried to tell yourself such reasonable words, but you were conflicted just how far this could go. A court lady and a prince talking late at night around the pond? No matter how many times you told yourself that this wasn’t wrong, you felt oddly at unease whenever you heard something crackling or murmurs rippling the night air - even from far away.

Yet, when you were in the act of talking to the prince, you couldn’t feel more at ease. Talking to him felt natural and he didn’t seem so distant while sharing stories with you even though you two came from very different backgrounds. Beside you, he seemed like a boy turning into a young man, knowing the responsibilities of his actions yet letting the childish side in him come to the surface when his duties didn’t call for something else.

Not to mention that it was, in a way, fluttering to be able to talk to him in the first place, let alone get to know him. You realised that he was both very different and not so different from you. He didn’t care about your rank, or that you might tell others about what he was telling you because he trusted you enough, and you trusted him the same. Maybe this was why he was open to talk about the disruptions in the kingdom, and how much the royal family would try to protect peace within its borders.

And maybe this was why he wanted to let you know about the secret you had suspected some time ago.

“The truth is, I don’t have magic,” he blurted out one time after silence had taken over the two of you.

You had been looking at the ripples across the pond, watching the many colours dance under its surface, hiding fish in all shapes and sizes, but your eyes found their way to the prince’s delicate features when he spoke up. He looked ahead of himself, his lips pressed into a thin line, and it wasn’t a different image from his usual self. However, instead of his hands resting in his lap, his hands were balled into fists, clutching a part of his snow-white robe.

“Why… why are you telling me this?”

You tried to keep your voice as gentle as possible because you had a feeling that this was a confession that must have been living in his heart for so long, trying to break out, but it was a caged creature - forced within the bars by his family more than himself. Even though not all of the members of a family had magic if one person possessed it since it wasn’t hereditary, it seemed that the royal family wanted it to be true since the King had magic in his veins, and princess Jinhee was said to possess it, too. However, you had a feeling that prince Jinyoung didn’t do so because you had never heard him use it whereas princess Jinhee was frequently praised for her skills.

What was more heartbreaking than this was the fact that the Queen tried so hard to hide his lack of magic - as you had experienced it on the training field when she had claimed that prince Jinyoung would take care of his wounds if he got hurt -, and maybe it was because she came from a different kingdom and thus didn’t have magic, but you had a feeling that she didn’t know the weight of her actions. She didn’t realise how much she was denying something that the prince didn’t wish to talk about to begin with.

You didn’t act like a fool, that’s why you didn’t ask him if it was true for you had a feeling for some time, and he seemed to notice that, too.

“Because I know you’ve figured it out yourself, and it feels good to tell someone else about it apart from my friends,” he explained as he averted his eyes from the scenery to you, and you gulped when you saw the hurt in his pitch-black orbs. Maybe it was that you mistook his pain for secrecy before, but now instead of a stern, out of reach, almighty prince, all you could see was a boy grieving something that had never been his, feeling guilty for something he had no control over and being vulnerable to someone who shouldn’t have mattered to him.

Yet, since he was willing to share his secret with you, you didn’t want to think about whether it was right or wrong. Instead, you wanted to be there for him, comforting him with words.

“You aren’t any less because you don’t have magic, Your Highness,” you whispered to him, afraid that your words might open up his wound instead of tending to it, but he didn’t seem to take it to heart.

“And you aren’t any less because you’ve grown up without a mother,” he added similarly quietly, and you felt your heart drop. You were about to say something, but then, you closed your mouth, pondering how to word this feeling. “See. It’s difficult to believe it no matter how many times others tell you.”

It was difficult, he was right, but you assumed that no one really knew how much the absence of your mother still impacted you, and the way you thought of yourself. He did, it seemed. He might have been reserved and didn’t like to pry in other’s business, but he was perceptive, even more than you would have thought so.

“How do you… Why does it feel like you know me so well, Your Highness?” You furrowed your eyebrows, not accusing, merely curious. Prince Jinyoung, as if he was waiting for you to confirm, let his lips curl a bit upwards before leaning a bit closer to you, as if he was telling a secret.

“I’ve told you. I’ve heard you talk to yourself at this pond. I just never wanted to interrupt you,” he explained matter-of-factly, but that was not enough for you. You didn’t know what took hold of you, but you were persistent, so you asked:

“So why tell me now?”

Prince Jinyoung looked back at the pond, then shrugged his shoulders. After some silence, you decided to drop the topic, and excused yourself to head to your room instead. Your heart was in mayhem already, you didn’t want to continue this dance that had started between you two because you were afraid that all it took was a few more turns to fall into his arms, to fall into him. 

Thankfully, he didn’t hold you back, nor did he come with you, so you could walk to the courtyard, your heart still hammering in your chest. That's how you missed him saying to himself after you had left:

“Because you aren’t that unreachable now.”

The fact that you served the Queen directly meant that you knew more about the kingdom’s business affairs than before as the royal family including the King, the Queen, prince Jinyoung and princess Jinhee often attended business meetings with and without the royal council. It was said that it was, so that they knew exactly what was going on in the kingdom, and it was a merit for the children of the royal couple as well. Trading, business affairs and politics were fields that prince Jinyoung would be involved in as the future heir, and princess Jinhee would be considered a knowledgeable young lady if she knew of such topics, making her an even better wife candidate. When the council had a meeting, you were supposed to wait outside along with the other servants, but when it was just the royal family members, you could stay inside and possibly help the Queen to write letters and contracts for her or to read them for her.

The main issue these days was the unjustifiable attacks on a royal carriage sometime ago and a recent revolt near the borders - both lead to the assumption that rebels from the nearby kingdom were behind the attacks. It wasn’t very concerning for now, but the royal family wanted to be prepared for every scenario, and they tried to put out the fire before it could burn down their reputation. That’s how you found yourself accompanying the Queen and princess Jinhee to visit Naturalia that offered favourable trade in exchange for the princess marrying into the family.

You, a few other servants, soldiers from the royal army and two magic medics - including Byounggon whom you frequently saw around prince Jinyoung - accompanied you, so you ended up going in three different carriages, and the plan was to stay for two days and one night. You tried not to look around too much, but you hadn’t travelled outside of the kingdom before because you had started working at the palace from such a young age, and this particular kingdom boosted the magic of nature, so all kinds of surfaces were covered in colourful plants, vivid trees and rainbow-like herbs. You had read that there were people who regularly went to collect such magical plants, but the trading of their magic was limited to their kingdom only. Unless princess Jinhee would marry prince Jaehyeong.

However, your awe was cut short when upon the introductory tour around the palace, you were invited for some tea, and the servant - Hyeri - who tried the so-called immunity boosting drink to test it before the royal family would do so started gasping for air.

“What is it? What is the problem?” The Queen immediately rose to her feet, but you and another court lady were already there to hold onto the woman whose face turned purple. She looked like she was struggling to breathe, constantly hitting her chest with her balled fists and struggling to keep upright.

Bewildered, you found yourself hyperventilating for a moment, but then, you tried to remember what your father had always said. Do something about a problem first, and panic only if the consequences are not in your favour.

“I’ll call for the medics,” you suggested hastily, almost falling over your feet as you picked up the hem of your robe and ran out of the dining room to call for the two medics who were stationed outside in the hall. You quickly explained the situation, but they didn’t waste time either, they immediately came rushing with you. By that time, the woman was already on the floor, lying seemingly unconscious.

You felt your heart beating wildly against your ribcage, like a wild horse that didn’t know where to go in the unfamiliar woods. You couldn’t help but think of the worst case scenario, and you felt blood rushing to your head, making you dizzy. What if it was a trap? What if this was the plan of Naturalia’s royal family all along? What if your Queen was in danger? What if all of you were in danger?

Despite being wary and conscious of the many reasons behind this incident, prince Jaehyeong’s mother was seemingly shocked as well, trying to come up with different scenarios as to why it could happen - maybe the court lady was allergic to the ingredients in the tea -, but the Queen was suspicious, and didn’t let it slide even when the joined effort of the two medics and princess Jinhee’s magic helped Hyeri to regain consciousness.

“It was too strong of an effect for it to be accidental. If three of us needed to use magic to help my court lady, it was intended to kill one of us. Even if the incident was out of your control, it is not safe for us to stay here,” the Queen concluded rather indignantly, and at least the other royal family members didn’t protest, and reassured her that they would do everything in their power to get to the bottom of this case.

The ride back to the palace was a tense one because it meant that even if the Naturalia royal family didn’t want to kill the Queen or the princess, someone in their royal court would want to do so, someone who had the power to get inside their walls and put some kind of poison in the tea. They should have known that such royalty didn’t just drink or eat before testing it out with their servants, so maybe it was a kind of warning. First the carriage incident, then the rebels, now this… Was it all because the two kingdoms were to be united by the prospectus wedding? Did a group of citizens from the other kingdom have anything against your Queen?

You kept thinking about the what ifs, signs you should have seen, but you still couldn’t rack your head around what had just happened. Upon your arrival back at the palace, the Queen asked you to accompany the startled Hyeri to her room instead of walking her back to her chambers since she had other servants who could help her now. You obeyed her, but your voice was shaky as you responded to her, and your hand trembled when you reached out to hold onto the court lady. It could have been you as well, you could have died that day…

“It’s all okay. You’re safe now,” you mumbled to Hyeri nevertheless, trying to soothe her nerves, but you could still see how frazzled she was. Even when you left her after she had thanked you for your assistance and denied that she needed anything else, you could clearly see how terrified she was. You told her that she shouldn’t hesitate to call for you if she changed her mind and needed anything. Afterwards, you left her behind and started aimlessly walking around the court until your legs didn’t feel wobbly anymore. You needed time and some fresh air to clear your mind.

You were just about to head to the court ladies’ house when you walked into prince Jinyoung who looked just as shaken up as you deemed that you had been some time ago. His usually delicate locks sat on top of his head messily as if he had been running his hand through his hair more often than it was necessary, his jet-black eyes were painted with agony, his facial expression alarmed and his voice shaky when he spoke up.

“Are you… alright?” His words came out raspy, as if he was still trying to catch his breath. Did he come to the court ladies’ area after hearing the news? Why did he seem so uncharacteristically concerned? The usually stern and reserved prince didn’t usually meddle with the servants’ business as you had seen. He was on good terms with his soldier friend, Seunghun, and one of the magical medics, Byounggon, but he usually didn’t worry about the court ladies’ safety. Some said that it was because he didn’t want to be swept up in rumours while you deemed that it was only natural since he was royalty, and of the obedient type.

You bobbed your head, though you were at a loss for words seeing him in this state.

“Are you sure you don’t need more medical assistance?” The prince continued, taking a step closer to you as if to examine if you had visible injuries. However, the way he worded himself sent waves of warmth through your body.

“Oh, it was not me who drank the tea. It was court lady Kim,” you justified to the prince whose lips formed a surprised ‘O’ in return. Other than that, he didn’t seem taken aback, more like a bit coy, but his features softened as if he had been relieved by your answer.

“Oh… is she alright, too?”

“Yes, I helped to accompany her back to her room,” you explained, trying to keep the shaking out of your voice. You had never thought before that being in the court could mean that you were in direct danger because you weren’t a soldier or a bodyguard, but it seemed that there were multiple ways one could weaken a King on the throne.

You heard a door opening and carefree chatter coming out of a house nearby, so instinctively, you grabbed the prince’s robe and pulled him to the wall of the nearest house, into the shadows. You couldn’t really tell what took hold of you, but it felt oddly wrong to be so out in the open with just the prince. It was different in the garden when there were just the two of you. It was like your little hideout, an island of solace, a place of security, however now, you felt like you were stripped bare.

Prince Jinyoung’s eyes widened in surprise at first, but he must have guessed your reason for bringing him with you out of the public eye because he didn’t protest, nor did he ask why you had acted this way. Instead, he peeked out from behind the wall, then back at you.

“And you? Are you alright?” He asked as if he had just continued from where he had left off. “This must have shaken you up.”

The way his words were so gentle, so caring made you feel things that you shouldn’t have. If the prince was the moon that lit the way for the people of the kingdom, the light in the darkness, the hope in the unfamiliar, you would be the sun that shone only during daytime, shining bright until night came, and the moon took its place. You two weren’t supposed to encounter each other, let alone seek out time to see each other.

He shouldn’t have cared about you, and you shouldn’t have let him, but still… You couldn’t lie straight to his face.

“I am… I just…” You wanted to say so much, yet the words died on the tip of your tongue. Your heart was way heavy, the flashbacks of the scene in the dining room even heavier, and you felt a drop of tear sliding down your cheeks as you were trying to pull yourself together. You had to stay strong, you couldn’t show him vulnerability. He couldn’t care about your vulnerability. “I am sorry, Your Highness. I do not want to bother you anymore. Please, go on your way,” you said instead, keeping your eyes down as you bowed.

You wanted him to go away, to stop caring, to stop looking at you, but he didn’t budge, and it was a rule that you could straighten up only when a royalty took the first step. However, he didn’t do so, instead, he tapped your shoulder, and helped you straighten up.

“You don’t bother me at all,” he mumbled like a secret, a feeble attempt at diminishing the gap between you two that should have always mattered, but he crossed it as if he didn’t see it at all.

And you, you weren’t strong enough to push him away. Not that day, not in the comforting shadows under the faint moonlight, not out of the public eye when he looked at you as if he was ready to give you the world. The hand that had rested on your shoulder before now slid to your back as he embraced you, holding you strong, holding you steady

The walls crumbled down, the shield of your heart taken away, your rational thoughts tossed aside. Now, there was only his comforting touch that put out even the tiniest flicker of resistance within you, and for a moment, you believed that this could be your reality, your present and future, and your forever.

After the incident, the palace was in uproar. They couldn’t let it slide as promised, and so the investigation started to get to the bottom of this. The royal family of Naturalia was helpful though, and soon enough, they found a group of rebels who didn’t want your kingdom to be in alliance, let alone in union with their kingdom because of the special magical plants they possessed. They deemed that it was their gift and their gift only. It made sense why the attack on the carriage had happened when a letter had been delivered to Naturalia, then around the borders when news had gotten around that a marriage deal had been proposed to princess Jinhee, then when the Queen and the princess had actually gone to visit the other kingdom.

They didn’t find all of the rebels though, and there was no guarantee that they wouldn’t attack again no matter the fact that peace was in both parties’ favour. So for now, the marriage proposal was put on hold, and instead, your kingdom tried to strengthen its ties with other alliances. After the passing of the King in Elementalia - the land of elemental magic where people could possess the ability to control fire, earth, water and air -, his rather young heir took place, but it meant that marrying one of their princesses off to another kingdom would secure their power with a boy king on the throne.

That’s how you found yourself in the room with the Queen, prince Jinyoung and other servants, listening to their conversation about prince Jinyoung marrying the princess in question.

“They are in a tight spot, and we are in need of securing our safety. Who knows when those rebels would attack us again? It is best if we do not push your sister’s marriage with prince Jaehyeong now, but rather, we reassure them that we will not make moves towards their kingdom. The best way to do that is to shift their attention to our other affairs… such as your possible marriage with the princess from Elementalia,” the Queen concluded confidently, but you could hear the indignation in her voice. Seeing one of her court ladies almost getting poisoned took a toll on her as it did on all of you. One of her court ladies had even resigned, feeling like her safety was threatened.

Needless to say, prince Jinyoung was also aware of the tension in the kingdom, and while you had only met him once since that embrace, he had seemed rather troubled then and now as well.

“And princess Yunkyeong is said to be a very intelligent, obedient young lady. You might not be interested in her now, but at least, give her a chance. Let us arrange a meeting with her, and see how you feel about her being your wife. I will not force you to make any rash decisions, but we-”

“We need this marriage deal now to reassure our people that our kingdom isn’t threatened. I know, Mother,” the prince cut her off, his voice void of any emotions. His face was also void of any emotions, save for the slight wrinkles forming on his forehead.

You wished you could do anything to help this situation, but in cases like this, your hard work didn’t mean anything. These affairs were bigger than you, bigger than anyone in the royal court. Plus, the Queen was right. Despite not talking explicitly about what had happened in both the carriage and the tea incident, word had gotten out, especially with the rebels making a ruckus around the border. The people were confused and scared, questioning what the royal family’s next move might be. It was best to reassure them with such prosperous news rather than talk about any uncertainty.

“I will come back when you feel ready to give me your answer,” the Queen suggested as she rose from her seat, and so the servants lined up behind her. As you got in line, you made the mistake of looking at the prince, and he looked back at you, though you couldn’t exactly say you knew exactly what he was feeling. However, a shadow of sorrow passed through his features, but you didn’t know what it was for. Or rather, you didn’t want to know.

So you kept your eyes on the ground even after straightening your back from bowing at the prince, and didn’t look back.

You purposefully didn’t go to the garden afterwards. You could have said that you didn’t have time or you were too troubled by the recent events, but the truth is, you merely wanted to avoid meeting the prince. If you hadn’t had conscience before, now you would have felt like you had betrayed the Queen and all that she had worked so hard for if you had kept up your encounters with prince Jinyoung, and the people had gotten to know about it. Such news might even prompt princess Yunkyeong and her family to step back from their marriage proposal. After all, a prince and a court lady should never meet under private circumstances, let alone embrace in the shadows.

Now more than ever, you regretted letting prince Jinyoung console you in your state, you should have known that it would lead to nothing good. You should have stayed strong, you should have never shed tears in front of the prince. On the other hand, you knew, you knew very well with prince Jinyoung’s personality that he wouldn’t have felt compelled to embrace you even if you had been crying. He had done it because he had wanted to, but this thought only weighed down on you even more. What were you two doing anyway? Even if you had moments when you could have believed that your feelings would be reciprocated, the question wasn’t whether they would be reciprocated, but just how wrong it would be if they were reciprocated? You couldn’t fall in love with a prince.

Nonetheless, it was too late. You felt that bittersweet tug whenever you walked to your room straight after finishing your duties for the day without wandering around in the garden, you felt a wave of childish thrill go through your body whenever you caught sight of similarly pitch-black locks as the prince had - though you knew that it couldn’t be the prince for the royal family always wore white and the court members always wore burgundy-black -, and you felt your heart yearning for him, like a person coming up for air after being underwater for too long.

No matter how many times you tried to tell yourself that you could only make things worse if you felt everything so deeply, so grandly, your heart was at war with your brain, and it seemed that your brain was at defeat. Despite everything, you longed for what you had, for what you could have and for what you would never have with prince Jinyoung.

It didn’t make things any easier that you were there when the prince gave his answer to the Queen - that he would meet the princess in person -, you were there when they were arranging for the arrival of princess Yunkyeong and the Queen of Elementalia, and you were there when they arrived. You even needed to be the one to notify the prince that they arrived, and you felt a lump forming in your throat as you walked closer and closer to the prince’s chamber. You felt like your legs were made of steel, your limbs numb and your heartbeat as erratic as it could be.

Even though you had never been to the prince’s chamber, you knew where it was for it was the room closest to the Queen’s own chamber. Knocking on its door made you think of scenarios where you could do the same, but you quickly got rid of all of these silly fantasies. After all, they were nothing more than fantasies, irrational wishes and ultimately bullets through your already fragile heart.

When the prince answered, you opened the door to his chamber, and you made your way inside, bowing immediately before letting him know about why you were there. You could see that prince Jinyoung was both surprised and reassured by your presence, but he pursed his lips into a thin line when you explained the reason behind your visit.

“What do you think about this marriage?” The prince asked abruptly, and for a moment, you felt like icy thorns were invading your throat, making it impossible to speak, gulp or even breathe. Why did he have to make this even more difficult?

Deep inside, your rational side managed to break free from all the fantasies, and reminded you that you would only make things worse if you acted as if you were affected by the possibility of prince Jinyoung marrying a princess. As he should have after all. So you pulled yourself together, and tried to word yourself very diplomatically.

“I believe it is a very beneficial one, and princess Yunkyeong is said to be a lovely young lady as well, Your Highness,” you reasoned, keeping your voice steady. You even managed to keep eye-contact with him, and you saw confusion flash across his features. He seemed weary, someone who hadn’t been sleeping well because of his tormenting thoughts, and you wished to soothe the wrinkles on his forehead, to feel the warmth of his touch again, and to hold his hand to reassure him that everything would be alright, but you knew it was all just wishful thinking. It was all just a lie.

The prince took a few steps closer to you and you took a few back because you didn’t know what he was about to do without saying a word. Your back almost touched the door, and in a fraction of fragile seconds, he closed the said door, and turned back to you. This way, no one in the corridor could see you or listen to you two.

“Is that what you honestly think?”

His gaze was piercing, almost burning, and it felt like he could see right through you. His usually warm orbs reflected sadness, sorrow and bitterness - something that you saw reflected in your own ones recently. Seeing him in this state made you feel even worse for lying to him, but you had to. Words were your only defence now.

“Yes, Your Highness. I wish nothing but the best for you.”

“Do you believe it would be the best for me if you kept this up, and I would lose you in the meantime?” He kept going on strong, almost demanding, but you could detect the thorn in his words, you could detect his fear. Even though he wasn’t as close to you as he had been when he had embraced you in the shadows, you still felt like he was about to break down your walls. You couldn’t let that happen. Not this time.

“I do not believe that my presence should matter that much, and besides, we should hurry to-” You tried to direct the conversation back to the way it had started, but the prince cut you off, and the sincerity, the pain and the same longing you felt laced his words, and you were rendered speechless.

“It does matter that much even if you might not think so. So just once, can’t you be honest with me? Can’t you tell me what you really feel?”

Amongst many, there was one thing about prince Jinyoung that made him a likely successful heir to the throne: no matter what he said, he could make others believe it, no room for doubts. His voice was always confident, no cracks or wavers, but now, his voice shook. It shook like a man’s during prayers, during struggle and during darkness. As if he was desperate.

You physically ached to give him the answer he wanted, but you were already hurting so much, so you made a promise to yourself that no matter how and when you would meet him again, you wouldn’t let it continue the same way as it had done before. The sooner you could put an end to it, the less it would hurt.

Or so you assumed.

“I do not understand what you intend to say with it, Your Highness, but my duties lie with the Queen, and I always, always put her commands first,” you emphasised sternly, masking your tone in a coldness that you had never found within you before. “So if you could follow me now, that would make my job easier,” you added, strictly drawing the line between you two, and before waiting for his answer like you should have according to the etiquette, you walked around him, opened the door and walked out.

You expected him to follow you, and he did, but you were thankful that he didn’t walk beside you because you had to bite your cheek to keep your tears from flowing. It hurt for you to be so rigid to him, but that was the only way you could put a distance between you two.

So why did it hurt so much? Why did it pain you more to lie to him than if you had just been honest with him? If this was love, why did it hurt so bloody much?

It turned out that princess Yunkyeong was indeed a lovely young lady, and seeing her interact with the prince made you feel undeniably bitter because she was so bright, so considerate and so patient, you wished you could have turned back time to never make him feel anything because you knew why he was so distant. Even though he was trying not to appear stern, you could see the way his facial expressions changed in a fraction of a second when he turned away from her. You knew that the reason was you.

Nonetheless, you hoped that he wouldn’t cling onto the foolish hope of you two ever having your own happy ending because just as much as you would have liked to delude yourself into thinking that you could have anything together, it would be simply impossible as long as you were a servant and he was a prince. Which meant that you could never do so.

So when you heard after the princess’ visit that the prince had given in to the marriage, you should have felt relieved, yet you would be lying if you said that you were. After all, it would mean that you would see the princess around all the time because she would move into the palace after the wedding, and though the pain might numb after a while, her presence would always remind you of what you could have had if it had been for different circumstances.

You tried not to think about it, you really tried, but there was a pang in your chest whenever you and prince Jinyoung were in the same room when he met up with the Queen, and despite not catching each other’s eyes, your heart couldn’t sit still. The same went when you walked by him in the corridor, just one look at him and the fact that you could never be close again almost felt like the consequences of getting burnt. You were too close to the fire, but you were tempted, so you touched the flames, and now you were hurt, yet still yearning to do it again. Now you understood the expression that you would walk through fire for someone, you really did.

You were almost glad that the Festival of Day and Light happened a few days before the wedding because you could get time off to visit back home, to visit the festival because the Queen was preoccupied with the wedding arrangements, and hence, she would stay inside her chamber for most of the day.

It was the usual yearly festival for the fall equinox, and when you had been younger, you had been ecstatic to spend this day with your mother, to commemorate the gift of light, and to light a candle for all your loved ones, wishing them a bright year. There were all kinds of games for kids, stalls of delicacies lining up on the main market square, people lighting candles and placing them on the riverside that crossed the capital of the kingdom, and white or yellow decorations in the shape of stars, the Sun and the Moon.

Despite the usual joyous atmosphere of the celebration, ever since your mother had died, you hadn’t gone out to celebrate it as your father wasn’t the kind to believe in such things. So this year as well, you went home for the day, had a meal together with your father, helped him around the house, talked about everything that came to mind, then headed back to the palace later at night. Yet, there was no way you would be able to go around the celebrations on the main market square, so you mindlessly walked through it.

To be precise, you wanted to, but an elderly woman with an impossibly wide smile shoved a candle into your hand, and looking down at it, you didn’t have the heart to not light it up. So you walked to the edge of the river, a less crowded part of it, and crouched down to touch your candle to the wick of another one, watching as the flame moved from one candle to the other.

Then, you placed yours on the ground, closed your eyes and wished for your father’s health, your mother’s comfort in the spirit realm, the court ladies’ perseverance, the Queen’s well-being and even for prince Jinyoung’s happiness. You really wished nothing but the best for him even if you weren’t a part of it.

When you opened your eyes to the world around you and straightened up, you didn’t expect to find a familiar pair of jet-black eyes staring back at you. Your heart and mind didn’t even have time to protest, the words already rolled off your tongue.

“Your Highness,” you greeted him with your mouth slightly agape, then pulled yourself together for a proper bow. He placed his index finger on his lips - just like the time he had picked up the hairpin for you -, and the déjavu of the whole situation sent a chill down your spine.

He indeed looked like he didn’t want to be seen as he didn’t wear his trademark white robe, but a burgundy-black one with a hood that now covered most of his face, but you could never mistake his orbs for anyone else’s. You had stared into them, you had gazed at them and you had daydreamed about them enough times to be able to recognise them anywhere.

“What are you doing here?” You inquired quietly. It wasn’t unheard of that the royal family members went out for such celebrations, but then they walked into the sea of people in their usual clothes with bodyguards around them. This time, the prince seemed to be alone, and you expected him the least out of anyone since his wedding was just around the corner.

“I’ve never had the opportunity to light a candle. I’ve gotten Seunghun’s clothes, so that I could come here in peace, and then I saw you here…” He trailed off by the end as if he wasn’t sure that he should have said so much, but you could understand him. Especially after how you had lied to him last time.

“Should you be here so close to your wedding?”

Your question might have been assumed to be laced with malice, but you didn’t ask about it out of spite. You were concerned about him, that’s all. You knew how fussy the Queen was about the whole wedding, and it took a toll on prince Jinyoung (or was it that he still didn’t let go of you?). The last thing you had expected from him these days was to see him at the festival.

“Probably not,” he replied, and despite the tense question, the corner of his lips curled upwards, a bit childish and a bit bashful. Not the expression you had expected to see on him given his general state nowadays.

However, the prince didn’t seem guilty now, but there was definitely melancholy in his features. His lips couldn’t bloom into a full smile, his eyes weren’t twinkling, and his limbs were all tensed up as if he was ready to bolt anytime. Maybe he really was, seeing how he covered himself up.

Your heart ached for him, for all the possibilities that were crushed by the sole difference between your ranks, and for all those endless fantasies he had been a part of, ones that popped into your mind whenever you let your mind wander off, whenever you caught sight of him at the palace, and whenever you walked by the pond in the garden. Even though the latter had become a place of solitude, a safe haven for you, now it was just another thing that reminded you of your pain. The wound was there, and it was still open, it was still bleeding, no wonder it was difficult to wait out the time it would start to heal.

And in a way, something in your gut told you that he was the same. His following words proved it, too.

“But I’ve wanted to wish for someone’s bright future even if I won’t be a part of it,” prince Jinyoung suddenly broke the silence, his voice coming out raspy. He crouched down to light his own candle as he continued, but you were glad that he couldn’t see your face because his words struck you to your very core. “I felt like I wasn’t supposed to tell her after what we’ve been through and that she wouldn’t let me tell her how I wish the best for her, so I came here instead. I was hoping that my wish would somehow be carried forward.”

The more he talked, the more certain you were that he was talking about you, and instinctively, tears began to spill. You tried to hold them back, but they found their way to the surface, and all you could do was to sob silently, hoping that prince Jinyoung would look at his candle for a long enough time, long enough for your heart to prepare itself for a response, for your heart to prepare itself for a possible goodbye.

You reached to wipe the tears off your face, but as the prince straightened his back, that’s exactly what he caught you doing, so there was no turning back. You let your sobs reverberate through your body, your words following the rhythm of your tears like raindrops on a windowsill.

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled through tears, not being able to look him in the eye. So you just stared at your shoes instead while your tears dropped to the ground one after another. Drip… drop… drip… drop… “I thought that being harsh would be the only way I could make it hurt less, but it still hurts so much.”

“I know. I don’t blame you,” came the answer almost immediately, and when you looked at prince Jinyoung through the waterfall of your tears, you saw the same kind of longing that you dressed your features in these days. If anything, that just made you feel worse. Why couldn’t you be as heartless as last time?

You sobbed quietly, hoping not to attract unnecessary attention, but this part of the riverside was pretty quiet, and the stillness of it all magnified the loudness of your beating heart. You felt like it would break through your ribcage to find the prince’s own heart because it was what it sought after. Too bad that you couldn’t listen to your heart now…

“I’m sorry, too,” prince Jinyoung added, his voice cracking by the end.

You knew what was to come even before it happened, but as opposed to last time, you didn’t feel warmth, you didn’t feel comfort. When the prince embraced you, there was pain; because when you share the same kind of pain with someone, your pain is amplified by the other’s pain. It was a gawking, raw, soul crashing kind of ache, one that you felt in your bones, in your veins and in your heart. You couldn’t even do anything about it, your arms just hung idly by the prince’s body, your tears spilling endlessly, words abandoning you and sobs scratching your throat instead.

You couldn’t tell how much time had passed by when the prince let go of you, but you had a feeling that it was for good. When he squeezed your hand gently, you could feel the hesitation only for a short moment, and then, he slowly slipped through your fingers, all of your remaining hope leaving with him.

The walls that he had broken down now laid at your feet, lifeless and in multiple, messy pieces.

You somehow pushed through the wedding, but afterwards, you kept coming down with something, and even Byounggon’s healing and the medics’ tips couldn’t help because it just kept coming back, so the Queen granted you indefinite leave to go back home and to recharge yourself.

The truth is, once you were off the palace grounds, you got better, and you had a feeling why. On top of that, your father was also feeling poorly, so you were glad that you could be at home during this time. The truth is, ever since you had left for the palace 16 years ago, you hadn’t spent more than a week straight at home, so now that you were there, you realised just how much time had passed by, just how lonely your father must have been, how worn out your old shoes had been, and how loaded all your bookshelves were.

You made yourself busy in and around the house, cleaning up, buying new pillows for yourself and new clothes for your father (it seemed that he didn’t like spending money on himself, rather on books), picking up some herbs for your father from the nearby medics - from two young men, Hyunsuk and Yonghee, who were said to be good friends -, cooking, sewing clothes that were torn, reading the books you had not yet read from the shelves, and daydreaming about how you would take prince Jinyoung to your home, how you would lead him around the house and how you would introduce him to your father… if the circumstances had been different, and he hadn’t been a prince married to a princess.

The news of the royal family reached your neighbourhood as well, so you knew that the prince was on a trip to Elementalia with his wife, and maybe that’s what prompted you to go back to the palace then to formally hand in your written resignation.

The Queen didn’t seem taken aback by your decision, in fact, she rose from her usual sitting position, put her hand on your trembling ones, and gave you an almost motherly smile.

“Thank you so much for your service in the past 16 years. Your mother would be exceptionally proud of you. I wish nothing but the best for you and your father,” she said as she sent you on your way, and when you walked out of her chamber and passed by prince Jinyoung’s own chamber, you knew that it was for the best. Maybe some would say that you ran away from him, but you knew that you couldn’t have run away from the pain even if you had tried. So you had tried to give yourself space and time to decide what would be the best for you, and both your body and your heart thanked you for this decision.

You couldn’t help a teardrop roll down your cheeks though as you stepped through the gates - probably for the very last time -, flashbacks washed into a wheel of events; so much laughter, so much learning, so much love and so much pain. Like the different colours of a rainbow, all of these were needed to make you who you were today, and even though you didn’t believe in forever anymore, you would always, truly, deeply wish for nothing but the best for prince Jinyoung. He had given you so much care and affection, and this was the only way you could repay him.

A/N: I managed to finish writing and proofreading this story in time for the comeback, but I didn't think that it would top all the pain that the comeback might cause. Sorry for that, but I hope that you enjoyed the angst of it!

How do you like the comeback, the MV and the album? Do you have a favourite song? I love suffering, and I love emotional MVs, but the MV and the whole album were on another level in the best way possible. I think the boys outdid themselves again, and I'm super proud of them!

All in all, I hope you enjoyed the story! Thank you so much for reading it! ❤️

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[leehqnrio]

writers block got me like

[monatice]

Guardian - Yoon Hyunsuk

Summary: You were about to go on a trip with CIX because you were close friends with Yonghee. You barely had any friends, so Yonghee made sure to bring you along on trips and no one ever minded. You just never knew that this trip would be so eventful.

It was a sunny day and your trip to Jeju Island with CIX would soon start. You were a friend of Yonghee and always spent time with them because beside them you had barely any friends. People around you didn’t like you because you were a nerd just like Yonghee. You loved solving math problems, and you knew random things about science. Not everyone liked that. Only Yonghee was by your side during school times. And now he would still take you along with him on trips with CIX.

So here you were standing outside their apartment building waiting for Seunghun to come downstairs. Jinyoung and Byounggon were already on the way to get some food at the convenience store a few miles away. You would join them in your car after Seunghun arrived. You were waiting with Hyunsuk and Yonghee in front of the car, playing on your phone. Yonghee and Hyunsuk were talking about some ideas for the trip regarding sightseeing. You were just half listening because whatever they planned you would join them. After all, no trip had ever been a disappointment. You were not so good at planning trips because you always wanted to see as much as possible but then got easily overwhelmed by all the options that were there. So, you were glad you had them to plan trips for you to come along with.

As you were waiting for Seunghun you suddenly saw in the corner of your eyes how Hyunsuk jumped forward and pulled you away from the street and closer to him. He grabbed your wrist and pulled you towards him which made you collide with his chest. Yonghee was also alerted and when you looked up you saw Hyunsuk looking to the side. You followed his eyes and saw a car crashing into a building. Passing the spot, you were standing in a few seconds ago.

Hyunsuk just saved you from a terrible accident, that you would have probably not survived. Yonghee walked over to you. “Are you alright?” he looked shocked, and you nodded to ease his mind. He then took out his phone to probably call an ambulance and the police.

You looked at Hyunsuk who was already looking at you, removing his hand from your wrist. “Sorry, I had to grab you tightly.” Hyunsuk apologised but you shook your head. “It’s alright. You literally saved my life. If I’d still stood ther-“

Hyunsuk put his hand on your lips to interrupt you. “Don’t even dare to speak it out.”

You looked deeply into his eyes, and you didn’t know what to say. Hyunsuk looked away first and then turned to Yonghee who was smirking. You were not sure if he was smirking at you, for having a visible crush on Hyunsuk, or was he perhaps smirking at Hyunsuk. You couldn’t tell.

After a moment, Seunghun came downstairs and noticed the atmosphere. “Did I miss something?” he looked around and saw the car in the building. His eyes widened. “When did that happen?”

“A few moments ago, I almost got hit. But Hyunsuk saved me.” You explained.

Now it was Seunghun who smirked, which was weird because he could not know about your crush. Yonghee did because you told him. But Seunghun? You were not so close to him that you would tell him about that, even though you probably could do that and he would not tell anyone. But then you saw Hyunsuk glare at Seunghun who started to laugh. Could it be possible that you were not the only one who had a crush? Could it be that Hyunsuk also had feelings for you? Impossible.

“Can we leave?” you interrupted to not only change the topic but also the atmosphere.

Yonghee nodded and opened the door for you, and you sat down in the back seat. Seunghun sat down in the front seat, again grinning at Hyunsuk. Yonghee sat in the driver's seat, leaving Hyunsuk sitting in the backseat with you. You were not sure why you were suddenly nervous about it. It was not the first time you were sitting next to Hyunsuk. Perhaps it was the possibility that he had a crush on you, just like you had on him. Did that make you nervous?

You were opening your bag to look for your earphones, but you couldn’t find it. You must have sighed loudly as Yonghee asked if you were alright. “I must have forgotten my earphones. Now I can’t listen to music.” You groaned. It was something you loved the most about long trips. Watching the landscape pass by while listening to music. Watching the people outside the window live their lives, jumping around, dancing around or just sitting in their garden. And now you could not do that.

At least that was what you thought. You saw earphones being held in front of you. You looked up to see Hyunsuk offering his. “I don’t need mine right now. You can have them. I know you love to listen to music on long trips.” He smiled lightly.

You smiled. “Thank you.” You took them and took out your phone and started to play the music. This time to not only watch the world outside pass by but also to calm down your nerves and your beating heart.

At the next traffic light, you saw a familiar car next to you. You waved as you saw Jinyoung and Byounggon. They waved back and laughed. Jinyoung then called you. “Jinyoung, you’re interrupting my music.” You said, making everyone in the car laugh.

“I can sing to make it up to you.” He stuck out his tongue at you and you snorted. “I just wanted to let you know I have your favourite drinks. Shall I give it to you at the next gas station?” he held up the drink.

You smiled. “Yes, we will stop at the next gas station.” Jinyoung nodded and then your cars started again. You ended the phone call with Jinyoung and turned to Yonghee. “Jinyoung has a drink for me, can we stop at the next gas station for a second?” you asked.

“Of course, no problem.”

At the gas station, only you left the car to go to Jinyoung who was parking behind your car. He pulled down the window and held out the drink. “You’re an angel.” You said, taking a sip from the drink. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He gave you a pillow and you grinned. “I feel like a princess, today.” Jinyoung and Byounggon laughed. “Let’s go to Jeju Island, shall we, princess.” Byounggon jokingly added the nickname. “Be happy you are sitting away from me, or I would have hit you.” You said before leaving and returning to your car.

When you sat back into the atmosphere had completely changed. It was suddenly so thick, and no one was looking at each other. You were looking between the men, as Yonghee continued to the road. “What happened? I was gone for literally 2 minutes.”

But no one said, anything. “Alright…” you turned on your music again, and looked out the window, trying not to think about the bad atmosphere.

The whole car ride to Jeju Island, they stayed quiet, and no one said anything. You silently gave Hyunsuk your earphones. “Thank you again.” You smiled lightly, leaving the car. You walked over to Jinyoung. He looked at you. “Are you alright?”

“They are acting weird. Ever since the gas station, they haven’t talked with each other. Not even to me.” You looked back at the three who were taking out their suitcase from the truck. Yonghee and Seunghun walk to the hotel, talking with each other again. “I have to get my suitcase as well.” You said to Jinyoung before walking back to the car. Jinyoung and Byounggon already leaving for the hotel as well.

Hyunsuk looked at you and just wanted to help with your suitcase, but you were faster taking it out. “Will you close the car?” you asked Hyunsuk who was just nodding. He was acting weird. What happened in the short time you were talking with Jinyoung? You approached the hotel and heard Hyunsuk behind you.

“Jinyoung, Byounggon you two take a room?” Yonghee asked. The two hugged each other. “Yes.” Yonghee laughed. “Seunghun, you go with Hyunsuk?” Seunghun nodded, not as happy as Jinyoung and Byounggon. Yonghee held the key to you. “I hope you won’t mind us sharing.” You shook your head. “We have shared rooms before.” You took the key and the suitcase. Yonghee met Hyunsuk's eyes and turned around to join you.

Jinyoung turned to Hyunsuk. “Why don’t you tell her how you feel?”

Seunghun looked at Jinyoung. “Don’t. We already had that conversation in the car, it didn’t end well.” Seunghun took his bag and walked to the hotel room.

“How am I supposed to do that? I mean she probably likes Yonghee. They were close since school.”

Jinyoung raised an eyebrow at Hyunsuk. “She is head over heels in love with you, and if you don’t see that. Look closely. Look how she looks at Yonghee, and how she looks at you.” Jinyoung said.

Byounggon nodded, “Her eyes are shining whenever you say anything. She smiles every single time you talk about something you love.” Byounggon added.

Hyunsuk sighed and nodded, following Seunghun to the room. “Hyung… I am sorry. I didn’t want to snap at you earlier. I was scared she could hear us.”

Seunghun nodded. “Even if, she would at least know how you feel. Perhaps she would have the courage to confess when you don’t.”

“How are you all so sure?” Hyunsuk sat down on the bed.

“Yonghee. He once told me, accidentally.” Seunghun explained. “And Jinyoung and Byounggon, probably see how she is looking at you.”

Hyunsuk looked up at Seunghun, who met his eyes. “Hyung?” Seunghun raised an eyebrow as an answer. “Do you think you can help me get her alone for a short moment? Perhaps at the beach?” Seunghun smiled. “Of course. With Yonghee’s help.”

You got comfortable in your room and listened to some plans Yonghee were thinking of doing.

“(Y/N)?” Yonghee then said. You turned to him. “How about we go to the beach? I have to unpack a little more, but perhaps you could go already. I saw you looking at the beach earlier.”

You smiled. “I have to unpack as well.” You turned back around but Yonghee took the sweater from your hand. “I will unpack for you. Enjoy the beach, take some photos.” He poked your nose and you chuckled.

“Okay.” You smiled, took your jacket, and left the room. Yonghee smiled and did unpack before going to the window, seeing Hyunsuk at the beach, and you slowly approaching.

Seunghun, Jinyoung and Byounggon entered Yonghee’s room and smiled while they also looked out the window.

As you approached the beach you saw Hyunsuk. You were confused, but you smiled.

Hyunsuk looked at you and approached you. “I think you know now why Yonghee insisted on you leaving alone?”

You chuckled. “Well, I know why, but I also don’t.”

Hyunsuk laughed. “You will. Just. Just give me a moment.”

You nodded. “Shall we go closer to the water?” you suggested and Hyunsuk nodded.

“I think you saw Seunghun and Yonghee smirk earlier when I saved you from the car?” Hyunsuk looked at you.

“Yes, they were not very subtle about it.” You explained.

“They have a reason,” Hyunsuk said and took a deep breath. “They know that I fell in love with you. And they know I was always terrified to tell you.” Hyunsuk admitted.

You stopped walking and looked at Hyunsuk who turned to you as he noticed you stopped walking. “You, what?”

“I fell in love with you, (Y/N). Head over heels actually.” Hyunsuk repeated. “I fell in love with how you look when you were listening to music and watching the landscape pass by. I fell in love with how your eyes started to shine whenever you were talking about some scientific facts. I fell in love with the way your laugh sounded, the funnier the joke, the harder your laugh. I fell in love with how you loved the rain and how you were never missing the opportunity to dance in it.” Hyunsuk confessed.

You felt your cheeks heating up, but you had to ignore it. In front of you stood the man you fell in love with, confessing to you, in the perhaps most beautiful way. You had to take all the courage to not mess this up.

“I fell in love with you too, Hyunsuk.” You heard yourself say.

Hyunsuk looked at you, and his smile grew. “Really?”

You approached him, and instead of taking steps away from you, he stood there watching your every step. “Really.” You responded. “I fell in love with your laugh, your voice and how you always cared for your friends. I loved you for a while, and Yonghee knew the whole time. I am pretty sure everyone knew it, except you.”

Hyunsuk chuckled. “Everyone did know, except me.”

You joined his laughing. Hyunsuk cupped your face and looked into your eyes. You did not remove your gaze from his eyes. “Can I kiss you?” Hyunsuk asked.

You smiled. “You never have to ask for permission, Hyunsuk.”

This was all he needed to lean in for the kiss. You kissed him back by putting your arms around his waist. He put one of his hands through your hair, lingering at the back of your head. The other hands wandered to your waist. You both smiled into the kiss, not wanting to break it but eventually did as you heard both of your phone’s ring at the same time.

You laughed. “How much do we want to bet, it’s them in the group chat, watching us.”

Hyunsuk laughed as well. “We don’t have to bet. It is them for sure.”

You both took out your phones and saw the messages:

Seunghun: Finally!

Jinyoung: How cuuuuuute. Look at our maknae.

Byounggon: Our maknae grew up way too fast.

Yonghee: Good luck you two! Hyunsuk, break her heart and I break your bones.

You laughed.

“Yonghee is protecting you very well. Just know from now on, you have me to do that as well. And I don’t plan to ever hurt you” Hyunsuk said.

You grinned. “I know. Let’s go back and have dinner with them.”

Hyunsuk nodded and took your hand, intertwining your fingers. “Come, my love.” He grinned, as you smiled.

You loved him, more than you could ever describe it in words. And you knew, whatever life had in store, with him by your side, everything was going to be okay.

CIX Masterlist | @kbookshelf