#cix x reader

[papermatisse]

† An Anthology of the thoughts which keep me up at night.

† My contribution to October (and possibly November lol). There's only one that is pure fluff; everything else is horror.

Contents

I. Stranger || Byun Baekhyun; body snatcher

II. Into the Woods || Yoon Hyunsuk; fae

III. Don't Look Back || Kim Junmyeon; automatonophobia

IV. Solace || Bae Jinyoung; scopophobia

V. Perchance to Dream || Lee Sangyeon; somniphobia

VI. Deadend || Yoon Jeonghan; persistent predator

VII. A Rigid Dichotomy || Kim Yonghee; mind control

VIII. Whispers in the Dark || Kim Sunwoo; possession

IX. Enter Bedlam || Oh Sehun; Eldritch

X. Security Blanket || Choi Seungcheol; demon

XI. Beckoning || Joshua Hong; siren

XII. Rainy Day || Ji Changmin; astraphobia

XIII. The Somnambulist || Park Chanyeol; somnambulophobia

XIV. Portrait of a Man || Lee Juyeon; Gothic

XV. Lore || Kwon Soonyoung; vampire

© papermatisse, 2023. please do not repost, copy, or translate any of my works here on tumblr or any other other platform

[minhoskofi]

u want more?

pairing: bestfriend!byounggon x bestfriend!fem!reader genre: non-idol!au, smut (minors dni!), some fluff warnings: grinding, teasing, edging, multiple orgasms, oral (f receiving), fingering, “baby”, "love", choking, unprotected sex, begging, use of "fuck", marking (hickeys) word count: 3.2k

As the evening sun cast a warm glow through the windows of Byounggon's cozy flat, you slumped onto his couch, clutching a tub of ice cream like it was your lifeline.

Byounggon, your ever-reliable best friend, observed your disheveled appearance with a mixture of sympathy and exasperation.

"Again?" he murmured, shaking his head as he handed you a tissue to wipe away your tears.

You chuckled humorlessly, your voice muffled by the ice cream. "Yeah, again. I swear I have the worst taste in men."

Byounggon's eyes softened as he watched you devour the ice cream, a pang of protectiveness swelling in his chest. He had seen you go through countless heartbreaks, each time picking up the pieces of your shattered heart with unwavering resilience. And each time, he wished he could shield you from the pain.

"Maybe it's time for a change of scenery," he suggested, a spark of spontaneity igniting in his eyes. "How about we escape for a while? Just you and me, away from all this mess."

You raised an eyebrow, a hint of amusement flickering in your eyes. "Are you suggesting a getaway or a pity party?"

Byounggon grinned, his dimples deepening. "A little bit of both, maybe. But mostly a chance for you to recharge and have some fun."

You chuckled, feeling a warmth spread through your chest at the thought of spending time with Byounggon.

"Alright, you're on," you agreed, a small smile playing on your lips. "But you're paying for everything, got it?"

Byounggon rolled his eyes playfully. "Of course. Consider this my treat for having to put up with your ugly crying face all these years."

You swatted his arm playfully, unable to suppress your laughter at his teasing. "Come here," you ordered, wiggling your eyebrows suggestively.

“Come where?”

You savored the last spoonful of ice cream, letting out a contented sigh as you set the empty tub aside. You patted the empty space next to you on the couch. “Here. Cuddles. Now.”

A faint blush crept onto Byounggon's cheeks, his heart fluttering nervously at your request. Lately, he couldn't deny the growing… warmth he felt whenever he was close to you, the way his heart seemed to skip a beat whenever your laughter filled the room.

"So clingy," he retorted, trying to mask the sudden rush of emotions swirling within him as he settled onto the couch beside you.

You snuggled up against him, resting your head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around you tentatively, the scent of your hair filling his senses. His heart hammered in his chest as he resisted the urge to bury his face in the crook of your neck, to hold you close and never let go.

As you drifted off to sleep in his comforting embrace, Byounggon watched over you with an unusual tenderness. He couldn't tear his gaze away from your peaceful face, illuminated by the soft glow of the evening light filtering through the window.

But as time passed, he began to feel the uncomfortable numbness creeping into his arm. Despite his reluctance to disturb your rest, he knew he couldn't bear it much longer.

He eased himself out from beneath you and gently scooped you up into his arms, cradling you against his chest as he made his way to his bedroom.

Laying you down on the bed with the utmost care, he tucked the blankets around you snugly, ensuring you were comfortable before tucking a stray strand of hair away from your face.

As you stepped into the luxurious lobby of the hotel, your breath caught in your throat at the sight of its opulent beauty. “You can’t possibly afford this,” you breathed, turning to Byounggon with wide eyes. 

“Already did,” he bit back.

As you approached the reception desk to check in, the hotel staff greeted you warmly… and then apologized profusely. 

Shit.

They explained that there had been a mix-up with the reservations. The last double bed room had been already booked, and they were left with only one room available, with a shared bed. 

A surprise for no one.

You exchanged a hesitant glance with Byounggon, unsure of how to proceed. “I told you to book beforehand.” 

Sharing a bed with your best friend shouldn't be a big deal, right?

Byounggon, ever the picture of composure, simply shrugged, a playful smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. "Looks like we're bunking together, partner. Hope you don't snore."

As the first light of dawn filtered through the hotel room’s curtains, you found yourself stirring from a fitful sleep. 

Your limbs were tangled in the blankets.

A distinct lack of warmth enveloping you.

With a groan, you rubbed the sleep from your eyes and turned to Byounggon, who was blissfully unaware of your growing irritation as he slept soundly beside you.

"Seriously, Gon?" you grumbled, poking him gently in the side. "You moved so much last night, I swear, I felt like I was in the middle of a wrestling match."

Byounggon let out a soft snore in response, his arm flopping lazily onto your side of the bed, effectively stealing even more of the blankets in the process. You couldn't help but roll your eyes, tugging futilely at the fabric in an attempt to reclaim your share.

"And don't even get me started on the snoring," you continued, "I could've just rented you out as a white noise machine."

Byounggon let out a snort in his sleep, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he shifted slightly, sending a sharp jab of pain shooting through your side where he had inadvertently elbowed you.

"Ow!" you exclaimed, shooting him a mock accusatory glare. "Are you doing this on purpose now?"

He was completely unfazed by your complaints.

With a huff of frustration, you grabbed your pillow and began to mercilessly pummel him with it, determined to rouse him from his deep sleep.

"Lee Byounggon! Wake! The fuck! Up!" you exclaimed, landing a harder blow with the pillow. "I can't take it anymore! You're snoring like a chainsaw, stole all the blankets, and now I'm starving!"

Byounggon stirred groggily, blinking owlishly, "Huh? What's going on?" he mumbled, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"I'm hungry!" you whined, launching another assault with the pillow for good measure. "And I can't sleep with all your tossing and turning. It's like trying to sleep on a roller coaster!"

Byounggon let out a sheepish chuckle, finally fully awake as he sat up in bed, the blankets pooling around his waist. "Sorry about that."

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

His hair tousled from sleep and eyes still heavy with drowsiness, he looked effortlessly adorable and undeniably attractive at the same time. The sight caused a flutter in your chest, and you couldn't help but feel a blush creeping up your cheeks.

Snorting softly, you quickly tried to compose yourself, mentally chiding your traitorous heart for its sudden fluttering. You busied yourself with the excuse of fixing his hair, reaching out to gently run your fingers through the unruly locks, attempting to smooth them down.

"Uh, your hair's a bit of a mess," you mumbled, trying to sound nonchalant despite the warmth spreading across your cheeks. "Let me fix it for you."

“You're one to talk. You look like you just rolled out of bed yourself."

You rolled your eyes in mock annoyance, though the teasing glint in his eyes only served to deepen your blush. "At least I'm not the one who snores like a bear."

Byounggon chuckled, leaning into your touch as you continued to smooth down his hair. "Fair."

As you sat at the edge of the hotel’s pool, dipping your toes into the cool water, a sense of tranquility washed over you. 

Beside you, Byounggon crouched down, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he leaned in close. "Hey, I've been meaning to tell you something," he teased.

You raised an eyebrow, curious as to what he had up his sleeve. But before you could respond, he pushed you into the water with a playful shove, sending you splashing into the pool with a yelp of surprise.

Determined to get back at him, you didn't immediately swim to the surface but watched as Byounggon treaded water, clearly worried that he had gone too far. 

After a few seconds, he dove into the water, swimming towards you with a serious expression.

He grabbed you from underwater, pulling you into a tight embrace and wrapping your legs around his waist. "For fuck’s sake, don't scare me like that, you idiot," he scolded gently, his voice soft with concern. "I thought I hurt you.” 

You felt his heart racing against your chest as he scolded you.

The warmth of his touch seeped into your skin as you pressed closer to him. And as you found yourself between him and the pool’s walls, his body pressed close against yours, you couldn't ignore the sudden awareness of the closeness between you.

The way his chest rose and fell with each breath, the feel of his wet skin against yours, the way his arms held you securely - it all sent a shiver down your spine. 

As you returned to the hotel room, the exhaustion of all the swimming settled in, and you couldn't help but feel the overwhelming urge to just collapse onto the bed and succumb to the pull of sleep. 

"Hell, no. Be for real now," Byounggon was towel-drying his hair as he paced back and forth in the room before plopping on the bed. "We can't just waste the day sleeping! There's so much to see and do - waterfalls, hiking trails, beautiful beaches. We can't miss out on all of that!"

You let out an exasperated sigh, flopping onto the bed with a tired groan. "But I'm exhausted. I feel like I could sleep for a week. And besides, isn't the whole point of a vacation to relax and recharge?"

You continued to bicker back and forth, each stubbornly clinging to your own viewpoint, until you couldn't take it anymore. 

Straddling Byounggon, you leaned in close, trying to persuade him with your most convincing arguments.

"Come on, Goni," you pleaded, your hands resting on his shoulders as you looked into his eyes with determination. "Let's just stay in for now, order some room service, and go for dinner later. We can explore tomorrow when we're feeling more refreshed."

But as you spoke, you failed to notice the shift in his demeanor - the way his breath hitched slightly, the way his eyes darkened with lust. And as you leaned in closer, trying to sway him with the warmth of your proximity, Byounggon's hands found their way to your hips, his touch sending a jolt of electricity through you. 

Byounggon couldn't help but stare at you. He had always found you beautiful, but he had never told you that. He didn't want to risk ruining the friendship. But seeing you on top of him like this, talking about your vacation plans and whatnot - it was too much for him to handle.

He tried to focus on whatever you were saying, but his mind was elsewhere. Down in his pants, to be exact, where he was getting extremely turned on by the feeling of your body pressed against his.

As you continued to ramble on, Byounggon's thoughts were consumed with images of the things he wished he’d do to you. 

Running his hands through your hair. 

Kissing your lips.

Holding you close. 

Fucking you silly.

“Hey! Are you even listening to me?” You snapped your fingers in front of his face.

He snapped out of his thoughts and looked at you, trying to hide the bulge in his pants. “No, not really, no. I’ve told you not to do this”, he replied, his voice slightly strained.

You raised an eyebrow, confused “Do what? What's wrong? You’re being weird,” you asked, concern evident in your voice.

Byounggon took a deep breath and decided to take a chance.

He gently grabbed your hips,

“This…”,

then pressed you hard against his growing erection,

“is what's wrong." his voice was lower than what you were used to.

"You've been sitting on top of me for the past few minutes and I can't focus on anything but this,” he confessed, looking into your eyes.

Your eyes widened in shock as you felt his hard member pressing against you. 

You had never noticed how much your own best friend turned you on, or you him.

After a moment of silence, Byounggon broke the tension, “I know. I shouldn't have done tha-”

You shushed him, placing a finger on his lips, “It's fine. We're both adults. And besides, i-it's just a natural reaction.”

You couldn't believe what you were saying, but the way your body was responding to his touch was too much to ignore. So, you did a test roll of your hips against his lap, causing him to suck in a breath.

“Don’t play with me.”, he warned.

But you kept grinding against him, feeling the heat building between you. Byounggon's hand wrapped around your neck, pulling you in closer. Your heart raced as you felt his breath on your lips, the anticipation almost unbearable.

You parted your lips slightly, inviting him to close the distance, but he hesitated. 

You could see the conflict in his eyes, the struggle between desire and the fear of crossing a line with his best friend.

But you weren't about to let him pull away. You leaned in closer, your lips hovering just inches from his, silently urging him to take the leap.

"Goni," you whispered, your voice barely audible over the pounding of your heart. "Don't overthink. Just go for it."

He hesitated for a moment longer, his gaze searching yours for any sign of hesitation or uncertainty. But all he found was a fierce determination, a longing that mirrored his own.

And then, finally, he closed the distance between you. His lips met yours in a hesitant but passionate kiss.

It was intoxicating, filled with years of pent-up feelings and passion. You couldn't control the moan that escaped from your mouth as you ground your hips against Byounggon's, causing him to grip your waist tightly.

Breaking the kiss, you trailed wet ones along his jawline, your hands moving eagerly to rid him of his shirt, fingers tracing the contours of his chest. You tugged at the fabric, pulling it over his head and tossing it aside, your own following it soon after. 

Feeling emboldened, Byounggon leaned back, pulling you onto his chest as he deepened the kiss, his tongue exploring your mouth.

His hands roamed over your body, sending more shivers down your spine. You arched your back, unable to get enough of him as you pressed your body against his, feeling every inch of his skin.

You slipped a hand under Byounggon's waistband, your fingers grazing his throbbing length.

Byounggon pulled away from the kiss, panting heavily. “Are you sure you want to do this?”  

“I want it. And I'm sure,” you replied, your hand now firmly gripping him.

That was all the confirmation Byounggon needed. He flipped you on your back, moving lower, biting and sucking on the skin of your neck, leaving marks, pressing kisses along your collarbone before reaching your breasts. 

He looked up at you. A lustful spark in his eyes. Then took one of your nipples into his mouth, sucking and teasing, causing you to arch your back, letting out a soft moan.

Your hips bucked against his hand as he slipped his fingers under the waistband of your panties, flicking his fingers over your clit.

Your moans grew louder as Byounggon removed them and spread your legs apart. He took a moment to admire you before leaning down and lightly licking your slit. 

Your fingers tightened in his hair as he continued to tease with his tongue.

But he wasn't satisfied with just teasing you. He wanted to taste you. Fully. 

He slipped his tongue inside, lapping up your wetness and causing you to let out a strangled cry. He moved his tongue in circles, teasing your walls before flicking over your sensitive spot.

You gripped at the sheets, your body writhing with pleasure. Byounggon's mouth was working wonders on you, and you could feel your orgasm building. But before you could let go, Byounggon pulled away, earning a frustrated whimper from you.

He climbed up your body, hovering over you with a smirk. “You taste so good,” he whispered before capturing your lips in a rough kiss. You could taste yourself on his lips and it only turned you on more.

He positioned himself up at your entrance. Teasing was, apparently, his thing. He slid only the head of his cock in and out, watching your reactions.

You moaned in frustration, “Please, just fuck me already.”

But he continued to slide just the tip in and out, watching as your eyes rolled back in pleasure, “And if I just continue teasing you like this?”

"Fuck, please, for fuck's sake!" you breathed, craving him like your lungs craved oxygen.

After what seemed like an eternity, Byounggon finally pushed himself inside you, filling you completely. You both let out a moan, as he slowly moved in and out, savoring just how tight and wet you were for him.

He couldn't resist teasing you a little more, pulling out almost all the way before thrusting back in. Your moans grew louder with each thrust, nails digging into Byounggon's back.

Finally, unable to hold back any longer, he picked up the pace and pounded into you, thrusting in and out with a force that made you gasp. 

He pulled back before plunging back in, setting a fast and rough pace. And as your moans filled the room, Byounggon couldn't resist wrapping his hand around your throat, choking you just enough to bring you to the edge again.

“Fuck, don’t stop.” You cried out as you reached your peak, your walls clenching around him.

“I’m not intending on stopping, love.”

He continued to pound into you, his pace quickening as he chased his own release.Your legs were shaking and your voice had turned hoarse from screaming, but you really didn't want him to stop. You wanted more.

“Please,” you begged, your voice barely audible.

He lifted your leg and placed it on his shoulder, allowing him to penetrate even deeper, spreading you wider, plunging back inside. Harder.

“You want more, baby?” Byounggon growled, his hips slamming against yours with each thrust. "Hm?"

You only nodded, your head spinning from the intensity of the pleasure coursing through your body.

He leaned down and captured your lips in a hungry kiss, his hand reaching between your legs to rub your sensitive clit. Your moans were muffled by his mouth.

Byounggon could feel you getting close again and he wasn't far behind. He quickened his pace, his own moans joining yours. Your body tensed and you screamed out his name as you came, your walls milking him for all he was worth.

He collapsed on top of you, panting and covered in sweat. Byounggon wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close, kissing your forehead.

“Best friends. Right?” Byounggon whispered with a smile.

“Oh, fuck you, Gon!” you laughed.

“Bet I did.”

a/n: this fanfic is purely fictional and solely for fun. the character(s) mentioned do not represent in any form or way the celebrity/ies, but merely using their name(s) and appearance! do not translate or repost. all rights reserved /© minhoskofi/

[kyufessions]

staring problem

pairings: boyfriend! hyunsuk x g.n. reader

genre: just fluff 🥺

word count: 0.3k

a/n: saw cix in concert again recently and let’s just say hyunsuk stares heavy so ,, i wrote this 🤭

general taglist: @jwnghyuns @eaudenana @soobin-chois

cix taglist: n/a

“babe?”

“hm?”

“you’re doing it again.”

his cheeks heating up from embarrassment, hyunsuk continues staring at you admiringly with the corner of his lips turned into a smile. “no i’m not.”

you quickly turn your head to the left to look up to him, catching his eyes darting from you back to the television screen. leaning up and placing a quick peck to his chin, you snuggle back into his chest under the large fuzzy blanket you left at his place for moments like this. even before officially dating hyunsuk, you’d catch him staring at you from time to time. whenever you knew he was in the room, if you ever felt eyes on you, you just knew it was him.

it wasn’t long before you felt his eyes on you again, playfully elbowing him as you looked back at him again. this time, he just stared at you dumbfounded. “what was that for?”

“come on, baby.” you respond as you bring your hand up to his cheek. “i can feel when you stare at me.”

the tips of his ears turn red as he smiles innocently, his dimples making an appearance. “you do?”

nodding, you let out a small laugh and peck his lips softly. “we’ve been together long enough, i think i’d know by now.”

hyunsuk points to his lips, tapping his finger on his pouty bottom lip. “that was too quick.”

you shake your head, turning back around and shrugging your shoulders. “i don’t know what you’re talking about.”

before you knew it, you felt his fingers tickling your sides as he peppered the side of your neck with kisses. your laughs meshed together, bouncing off the wall as you eventually ended up underneath him in defeat as his hands held your wrists down to the wooden floor. for a few moments you both just laughed, dying down to just a chuckle when you both just stared at one another admiringly. slowly, hyunsuk leans into where your faces are mere inches apart with your lips brushing against one another’s ever so lightly.

“who has the staring problem now?” he whispers, chuckling afterwards when you flick his arm gently and pull him down by his collar to have his lips meet yours.

[sluttywoozi]

happy 4k (again skdjf, i'm back as promised)!! lately i can't stop thinking about yonghee and begging... idk what he's begging for but i need to see the man beg

hi bestie! you always keep your promises ily 💖💖💖

Rating: M (18+) | WC: ~1k

Warnings: begging, mention of edging, grinding, clit stim, unprotected sex, yonghee cums inside

“You could try asking nicely,” you remind him, your hands planted on his stomach and your cunt hot on his dick. 

“Please!” Yonghee strains, his back arching as he tries to control the bucking of his hips. “Please, just put it in! Just a little, you don’t even have to do the whole thing, ju-just the tip.”

Normally, he’s not one for stuttering, or begging, but you just do something to him. Whenever you take control like this, it lets him feel unhinged, uninhibited, unrestrained. He knows he doesn’t have to worry about anything because you’ll take care of him, and that allows him to ask for exactly what he wants. Or beg for it, he supposes. 

It’s been hours, he thinks. Then again, maybe it’s just been five minutes. Time doesn’t feel real, and neither does Yonghee, not after how long you’ve been edging him. It’s not even that you won’t let him cum, it’s that you won’t let him inside of you. You just keep saying, “Soon,” as if that helps anything, leaving him to writhe beneath you and, fuck, is he tearing up? 

He’s never been this far gone before, but you’ve never held out like this. All you’re doing is grinding on his cock, just shifting your wet cunt back and forth on top of him and gasping every time the head bumps your clit. He could do so much better, could fill you all the way up and get his fingers on you instead, but you’d told him to keep his hands to himself and Yonghee is nothing if not a good listener.

He’s the best listener, so when you tell him, “Beg some more, and maybe I’ll sit down on your cock like you want,” he listens. 

“Baby, please, I’ve been so good. I‘ve stayed so hard for you, haven’t I? And, and I’ve kept my hands to myself, just like you said. Just like you said. Please, just put me in already, I need to feel you.”

“And how, exactly, do I feel?”

“So fucking wet, and hot, like goddamn heaven. When I get to be inside you, I never wanna leave. I wish I could feel you on me all the time, wish I could wake up inside of you and go to sleep inside of you and live inside of you. Fuck baby, your cunt is my favorite place in the world, you know that,” he pants brokenly, his words slurring together just like his thoughts, everything feeling warm and thick and syrupy when you notch the head of his cock at your entrance. 

“Yes, yes, yes, yesyesyesyesyses, thank you, fuck, baby, thank you,” he cries, head spinning, as your cunt swallows his dick. You’re just like he described, soaked and searing, and already, he’s close. But, just as long as you’ve been teasing him, you’ve been teasing yourself, so he grits his teeth and clenches his eyes shut against the intoxicating image of you as you ride him, holding off his orgasm as long as he can. 

He can’t hold off the moans that escape every time you bounce on his cock, though. They echo through the bedroom, his voice shot, and start to sound more and more like whimpers with each thrust. He doesn’t care, can’t care about anything but the feeling of you wrapped around him and hugging him so fucking tightly, and again, his mouth turns into a faucet that can’t be shut off. 

“Please, can I touch you? You’re so perfect, you take me so perfectly, I wanna make you cum, now,” he begs, his fingers twisted up in the sheets and his biceps flexing as he fights to keep his hands above his head. 

“I wanna feel you cum around me, I fucking love how you squeeze me and hold me and keep me, I want you to keep me, please let me-,”

“Yes, Yonghee, you can touch me, do whatever you want,” you cry, your voice breathy and your thighs trembling. Yonghee’s hands fly down to steady them, his fingers digging into the flesh greedily before gliding up to hold your hips in place above him. He fucks up into you, reveling in the sharp gasp torn from your throat, and thrusts one, two, three times, before he loses himself in you. You’re flaming hot around him and he can hear how wet you are with every buck of his hips, and each time he gets to feel you is better than the last. Somehow, he knows there won’t be a threshold. 

When you slide a hand down between your thighs, he pushes it away with one of his own, his thumb slipping into your folds to find your clit. Normally, he loves watching you but he’d said he wants to make you cum and if you help, it doesn’t count. He picks up speed, touching and fucking you harder until you start to pulse around him, and when he hooks his hips up on the next stroke and you keen, he knows he’s got you. He pounds into that spot, his lips twitching into a smirk as you fall apart above him, gushing and clenching around his dick. 

His smirk doesn’t last and neither does he, his head dropping into the sheets as he cums with a groan. He can feel you pulsing, feel your cunt sucking his cum deeper and deeper inside until it has nowhere left to go. Forcing his eyes open, he watches as it pools around your entrance, coating the base of his cock in a ring of white. 

You collapse into him, pressing kisses to his neck and murmuring words he can’t understand into his skin. He thinks he can make out, “Love you,” “You’re so hot,” and “Can I suck your dick tomorrow morning?” 

His responses are, “Love you more,” “You’re hotter,” and “Yes, please.”

Yonghee supposes asking nicely does work. 

[yong-jelly]

Making out with cix when they’re horny? 👀

MAKING OUT WITH CIX | masterlist

g!n reader x cix

warnings: nsfw! (minors dni)

a/n: CIX BRAINROT AAA these were supposed to just be bullets but i got a littttle carried away hehe

‧₊˚. byounggon

you had suddenly straddled him while he was working on music at his desk, arms wrapped around his neck as you kissed him stupidly. he'd be a bit stunned at first, letting out a "woah, you okay, hun?" — but when you whispered into his ear how needy you were, a flip would switch in his head and he'd be all over you right away. his plush lips moved in sync with yours as you let him take the lead, his hands finding the tops of your thighs, squeezing and kneading the soft flesh. you couldn't help but moan into his mouth and the sound would only spur him on further. his hands would travel up your hips until they were pressed against your lower back where your shirt had ridden up slightly, drawing tiny circles on the exposed skin. he'd use his grip on you to help rock you in his lap, happily swallowing your moans with every brush of your hips against his.

"i'm gonna make you feel so good."

‧₊˚. seunghun

it'd start off with sleepy morning kisses, both of you still comfy in bed and barely awake. you'd be pressed close against his chest to salvage as much warmth as possible in the cold room, your lips moving lazily against his. one of his hands would tightly be gripping your waist as the kiss heats up, smoothly slipping his tongue into your mouth. you'd ride your hands up under his shirt, drawing patterns on his stomach, fingers dancing across his chest. your hands turn him on so much and he'd get hard from only that; you exploring his body. he'd roll onto his back, pulling you on top of him before latching his lips to your jaw, nipping at your sweet spots, and then he'll trail his kisses back up to your swollen lips. the way he rut up into your core drove you crazy, your hands finding solace on his shoulders to ground you.

"i want you so bad, baby," he'd let out in a breathy moan. and what he wants, he gets.

‧₊˚. yonghee

i feel like it'd start out super innocent. probably just watching a show in his bed, or taking a nap together. you feel him shift closer to you before resting his head on your shoulder — and then you feel his gaze on you. you'd look down at him and give him a soft smile before turning back to the screen — but then he'd lift his head and his hand would come up to your chin, turning your face back towards him, capturing your lips before you could even think. this kiss was needier than they usually are between you two and you couldn't stop the butterflies that swarmed in your stomach as his hand moved to hold the back of your neck. he would help you lay down gently before moving on top of you in one swift movement, never once breaking the kiss. yonghee rarely initiated intimacy like this and you knew that he had to have been really pent up to get to this point. you could feel his erection poking your thigh as he pressed himself against you, airy moans leaving his mouth as you reach up to tangle your hands in his hair and pull him even closer to you.

‧₊˚. jinyoung

jinyoung had his lips on yours the moment he had walked through that door. maybe sending him pics of you in only your underwear while he was working hadn't been the best idea — because now he was going to eat you alive. he'd run his fingers through your hair and tilt your head back in the process to expose your neck to him, lightly biting and kissing your skin — just enough to make you needy but not enough to bruise. your hands would be tightly clasped onto his jacket, unable to control your moans as he licked over a particularly hard bite before grabbing both of your cheeks in his hands and slamming his lips against yours again. he'd walk you back towards the couch, taking a seat before pulling you onto his thigh. you were already riled up by his lips, and the contact between your heat and the muscles of his thigh was enough to punch a moan out of you, dropping your head against his shoulder.

"none of that, prince(ss). i want to see how i make you fall apart."

‧₊˚. hyunsuk

you can immediately tell when hyunsuk is horny — he doesn't even try to hide it. he becomes so touchy and clingy and if you're not giving him attention, he'll follow you around the house like a dejected puppy. once you're finished with your tasks, you'll finally give him your attention, standing up on your tippy-toes to press a light and sweet kiss to his lips. when i tell you he'd literally whine when you pull away, grip your hips before you could slip off, and pull you in again ten times harder. he'd turn into putty in your hands when you slip your hands under his shirt and run your fingernails lightly down his back. the kiss would be so desperate, quiet gasps leaving your lips as he slowly backs you up against the wall. one of his arms would come up to cage you in, your senses only filled with the scent of his cologne and his soft lips on yours. he'd break the kiss to whisper all the things he wanted to do to you right then and there, his warm breath fanning your sensitive ears, sending shivers down your spine.

[cutie-cix]

im back 😌can u write the members reaction to u wearing their clothing? since they’re all so tall yk hehe. u can make it nsfw if you’d like! tysm ❣️

Welcome back 😌😌

Oops I’m gonna make almost all of them nsfw cause it’s that kind of night, seunghun’s is pure fluff tho 🥹

Byounggon

Honestly just wants to wrap you in his arms the second he sees you in his hoodie

Literally calls you cute so so so much every other sentence is basically “You’re so cute y/n”

But like it starts to hit him that it’s not just that you’re cute, he’s also turned on

Tries so hard to be subtle about it but his hands start to wander under the hoodie to touch you

Leans in to kiss you sweetly but ends up shoving his tongue down your throat

And oops next thing you know he’s eating you out on the couch

Seunghun

He comes home from a long day of work to find you curled up on the couch in a blanket

He moves the blanket to tuck you in when he finds you in a sweatshirt he left for you the first time he went away after you started dating

The next time he went away, he left the sweatshirt behind for you to wear when you missed him, it was a new tradition

He’s in awe, finding you on the couch in the sweatshirt after a long day of work

He grabs another blanket from his bedroom and puts it over you to keep you warm, and lets you sleep

Lots of kisses when you wake up, you’re so cute when you sleep!!

Yonghee

After a night spent together, he wakes up early to make you breakfast

You wake up & scour his drawers for something to put on

You find a button down shirt and decide to put it on with nothing under it

The second you come out, his eyes are locked on you

He’s so subtle when he’s horny I just know it

You approach him and give him a peck and he’s completely thrown off

“What’s up?” You ask. His hands are glued to your waist as he looks you up and down.

“You’re just… wow. You’re stunning.”

You bite your lip and that’s it— he’s grabbing your hand and dragging you right back into the bedroom

Pins you against the wall for sureee

He’s never this forward with you but something about you wearing a dress shirt of his with nothing underneath is just so irresistible

Jinyoung

loves LOVES the thought of you in his stuff

Hoodies, hats, sweatpants, shirts, anything at all and he’s melting over you

But I feel like his fav is his hats & jackets

Will meet you after work for a lil date and find that you’re in his hat

He’s all possessive of you and his hat, acting as though he’s annoyed

But the way he’s kissing you rough tells a different story

And the second you get home you face the consequences of what happens when you take your boyfriend’s hat 😳

Hyunsuk

You borrow steal a pair of his sweatpants

BOY are you in for it when he gets home and finds you on the couch

We all know his legs are long asf so the pants are massive on you

Ngl, he gets flustered

When you’re in any piece of clothing of his, he automatically loves it, but his favorite sweatpants?? Paired with a cute lil crop top???

His mind goes straight to the gutter… size kink kicks in

“They’re so big on you, baby. You need help getting them off?”

Oops he’s eating you out on the couch 😳

[angelic-jeonghan1004]

CIX reaction having to wakeup early but you're cuddling

More CIX!!! I hope you all enjoy <3 not my best but still cute! Hyunsuk I’m writing a separate one for as I have a thing I’m working on for the future teehee

Pairing: CIX x reader

Genre: pure fluff

Warnings: none!

♡๑⌓✿ ◍✧* ♡๑⌓✿ ◍✧*♡๑⌓✿ ◍✧* ♡๑⌓✿ ◍♡

Byunggon

When he woke up about 10 minutes before his alarm

He was upset

One of the members that would get up on time even tho he didn't want to but he would take the time to lay with you while he can

You two where just laying there and it was so sweet and nice

And you looked so cute to him man was gonna burst

Suspect him to just just lay with you and do an analysis of all your pretty features till he actually had to get up

He'll probably not wake you up but he'll plant a kiss on top of your forehead whispering "good morning baby I'll see you later" whether you're awake or not

Seunghun

This man's heart exploded

Waking up to his alarm then looking down and seeing you face squished against his chest snuggling into him?

Man is so sad that he has to leave you like this

Looking at you he just has the biggest grin

Kisses the top of your head

Probably takes a photo of you and if you allow makes it his lock screen

He's absolutely in love

But he'll still get up no matter how much he doesn't want to since man got bills to pay

It's gonna take him atleast 5 minutes before he departs from you

He's gonna get ready super quickly though so that any free time he gets to spend he's just gonna go right back to laying with you and just put his shoes on when he has to leave

Yonghee

Absolutely mesmerized!!! He loves you so much

Another one who's probably gonna take a photo of you might make it his lock screen (totally will make it his lock screen)

Will pamper your face in kisses and if you wakeup from his antics he'll feel super bad but he'll just spend the time to talk to you

Finds your sleepy voice so cute </3

Legit just falling deeper and deeper in love with you

To how sweet his morning is from your morning moment he'll get out of bed hesitantly

but when he gets back from the dorm man will be all over you affection wise to makeup for the many hours he was gone

Jinyoung

Bold of you to assume hell wakeup before you in the first place

You probably are gonna wakeup before him unless you're also a heavy sleeper

Another member might just go in to wake him up but freeze when they notice you're there

Once he's finally awake the fact that you're cuddling with him and you're both do cozy?? This man does not want to leave

He'd way rather sleep in

One to fake a sickness to sleep in that day with you

If the company allows he's gonna be so damn happy

Loves the idea of a lazy day with you

If not he'll leave but be very pouty

[liamade]

Leap of Faith ; Kim Yonghee

»»—pairing: kim yonghee x reader

summary: your boyfriend yonghee randomly calls you out late one night, the two of you sharing your worries as you take a leap of faith towards your futures

genre: fluff, light angst, high school senior au, boyfriend yonghee

warning(s): N/A

✧ word count: 2k

*.✧.*✧*.✧.*✧*.✧.*

The sound of your blanket ruffling fills your dark room as you roll onto your other side for the umpteenth time that night. You absentmindedly scrolled through tiktok, lazily smiling or laughing here and there as you waited for sleep to take you.

Your eyes snap to the top of your screen when you get a notification, the smile on your face growing without you even realizing it.

loml yong 🥰

Are you awake?

you

of course i am,, who would i be if i wasnt-

loml yong 🥰

Lol

Tiktok again?

you

you know me so well 🥺

but what are you doing up mr 10 hours of sleep

loml yong 🥰

Couldn't fall asleep unfortunately 💔

you

why whats wrong??

loml yong 🥰

...nothing

Just worried about that test in chem..

you

ooohhh

i dont know why you stress about those

you pretty much ace every test you take babe 🤕

loml yong 🥰

But what if this is the one time I fail?

That's all I can think about right now.. 🙃

you

heyhey your kim yonghee,,,, the smartest person i know alright >.>

you study all the time, youve got this okay?

and even if you fuck up this one time mr lim lets us retake :)

loml yong 🥰

*you're

But you're right, thank you ♡♡

you

😐

last time i try and help you

"*you're" 🙄🙄🙄🙄

loml yong 🥰

Lmao sorry, I couldn't help it

you

😒

loml yong 🥰

Your parents are sleeping, right?

you

yeah why-

loml yong 🥰

Come outside 😊

Your eyes widen as you drop your phone on to your pillow, kicking off the blanket and running to your bedroom window.

Peering outside, you could see a man in a hoodie standing under a streetlight, leaning against it as he stares down at his phone screen. A gasp escapes your lips—though the guy was turned away from you, you could recognize the matching dog hoodie to your cat one anywhere.

Wasting no time, you rush over to your closet, grabbing whatever sweater you could get your hands on before shoving your phone into one of the pockets.

You slowly creaked open your door, sneaking through the hallway and down the stairs, cringing every time one of the floorboards attempted to snitch on you. Soon, you were outside and immediately blasted with the crisp 12 a.m. air.

"Yonghee!" you called out as you all but skipped in his direction.

"Hey," he greeted simply as he turned to look at you, "..you're wearing the pajamas I got you."

"Of course," you hugged him before leaning back to give him a once over, admiring how beautiful he always looked, even in the simplest clothes, "just like you're wearing the hoodie I got for your birthday~"

"Of course," he copied you, eye smile on display as he habitually took one of your hands into his own, his cold skin sending a slight chill down your back.

"Anyways, what are you doing out this late?"

"I told you I couldn't sleep.." He looks away, lost in thought as something hard to pin swirls in his eyes—a small seed of worry is planted in your stomach as you silently rub your thumb on the back of his hand, waiting for him to continue. His eyes are back on yours as whatever quiet storm they carried seconds before seems to settle. He lifts his other hand into view, a rustling capturing your attention. "I brought us snacks."

You stared at him with pouted lips, wishing you could read his mind and pick his brain for whatever was bothering him. Though you loved spontaneous moments like this with him, Yonghee wasn't generally that—he always meticulously planned things like your dates just to make sure you're happy and have as much fun as possible—so, for him to show up outside of your place at a time he'd usually be sleeping...

"Why're you staring at me like that?" he asked, breaking you out of your own thoughts. The smile stretched on his face now was one of smoke and mirrors—something you could see through.

You shook your head in response, though, because even if you could tell he was hiding his sadness away, he'd tell you eventually when he figured things out within himself. He always did.

So you stuck a smile of your own onto your face, hands immediately going for the bag as you stuck your head in to look inside, "oooh~ What'd you get?"

He was laughing now as he passed the bag to you so you could get a better look. "All of your favorites. I did good, right?"

You pecked his cheek as you excitedly pulled out a bag of chips. "Without fail, my lucky star."

"Lucky star?" He questioned, taking a seat on the curb and wiping down the spot beside him for dirt and pebbles so you could sit beside him.

"Don't ask," you responded with a laugh, already chomping away at your chips, "it just feels right."

The two of you soon fell into a comfortable silence, something you've become accustomed to since the two of you met at the beginning of freshman year almost four years ago.

You were stumbling around the halls, eyes desperately searching the walls for any clue as to where the hell your first period class was. It was the second week of the first semester so everyone else had the gist of their routes—except you. You being you, of course, this was only your first day as you ditched the entire first week. It was hard for you to make friends and unfortunately for you, none of your middle school friends came to this school; it was safe to say you weren't excited to start high school so you'd ditch whenever you got the chance.

Then there was Yonghee, some random kid who decided to help you out.

Yonghee was pretty much the opposite of you when it came to this whole school thing—he was diligent, even went to the freshmen orientation and everything. You were lucky that he noticed you, that your first period on that day was the same class, that he unknowingly let you attach yourself to his hip.

"Hey, y/n?" He called out to you, pulling you away from your reminiscent thoughts.

You simply hummed in response, glancing at him as you went back into the bag in front of you for another snack.

He paused for a second, toying with the promise ring around his finger that gleamed under the street light: it was something he got the two of you last year for your 2nd anniversary. It always made something well inside you when you notice him wearing it.

"Have you.. sent in your applications yet?" He quietly asked, big, curious eyes watching for your answer. They overwhelmed you, making you turn away as you looked up at the moon.

"Nope." You answered simply.

"'Nope'? You know the window closes soon, right? You should turn them in..."

You let out a puff of air that mimicked a laugh, but completely void of humor. "I'm not going to college."

His body was fully turned to you now, his eyes even wider than before from the shock of your words and how casually you said them. "You're not going? What do you mean you're not going??"

"I mean.. I'm not going, Yong. I'm taking a gap year, figure out what I wanna do, whether or not I wanna spend another four years suffering through school."

"And your parents said okay to that?"

"Of course not- I haven't even told them yet; they'd kick me out."

"Y/n…" he trailed off as his head spun from everything you just dropped on him.

You sighed, turning to face him with a small smile—though you understood his concern, you were dead set on your decision, already having thought it over at least a thousand times. "Hey, it's fine, alright? I'll get a job, stay with Jooyoung—you know her parents love me~"

Yonghee simply stared at you, not even knowing how to process it all or what to say in response. His face just fell further into a worried frown.

Your smile grew as you lifted a finger to his forehead, pressing at the space between his eyebrows to smooth out the crease, "I'll be fine, I promise, okay? Enough about me; have you done your apps?"

And there was that storm in his eyes again…

He looked away with a sigh of his own, "Yeah, a few Ivy's and um… an arts school."

"An.. arts school?"

"For acting- it's stupid, isn't it?" He lets out a pitiful laugh as he lowers his head to his arms that rested atop his knees.

"Not in the slightest, babe," You placed a hand in his hair, gently combing through it because you knew he loved that, "I just didn't know you were seriously into acting—I thought your theatre class was just for the credit?"

"It is… theatre isn't for me. I wanna be on a screen.. in dramas like-"

"Like Park Hyungsik?"

He lifted his head to look at you, unable to hold in a laugh when he met your sparkling eyes at the mention of Hyungsik, "if that's what you want, then sure."

"But in all seriousness though, Yong, I believe in you to make it. You've already got the face of an actor," you pinch his cheek as he blushes at your compliment, "you've got endless talent, a drive to do better all the time- if anyone's gonna be the next big actor, it's going to be you."

The smile Yonghee flashes your way this time felt like a blast of sunlight through the temporary reign the moon held on the sky. It was blinding, made your heart beat like crazy, and you knew that no matter how long you end up with him, you'd never get used to his beautiful smile.

"I feel like I can take on the world with you by my side." He whispered out, his voice honey sweet as he gazed at you.

You weren't able to handle him looking at you like that so you thought of the most moment-ruining thing you could do: fake vomit. You started dramatically gagging as you scooted away from him.

"What? What'd I say??"

You feigned disgust as you glanced at him, "how do you always manage to say the cheesiest things without realizing it?"

He rolled his eyes at you yet that pretty crescent sun stayed etched on his face. "Whatever just come back over here or else I'll have to eat all these snacks by myself."

You were quick to cuddle into his side, resting your head on his shoulder as you hugged his arm.

"Y/n?"

"That's me, yeah."

"Can you promise me something?"

You slightly pulled away from him to peer into his face, his eyes already on you, "I've been making a lot of promises tonight, but sure, what is it?"

"Promise me," he started before his hand hesitantly came up to cup the side of your face, making sure you didn't turn away from him as he spoke, "that no matter what happens.. we'll always be together, even if it's just as friends. I can't imagine my life without you in it now."

You could feel your cheeks blossoming red as you tried to stutter out a response, taken aback by the seriousness in his expression and words, "I- um- yeah.." Your hand raises to his own, your finger lightly rolling his cold ring against your cheek, "that's what these rings are for though, right?"

Yonghee didn't verbally respond but you could see the love he held for you color his dark eyes under this bleak night sky. His eyes shone much like his smile, but whereas his smile was like the rays of the sun, his eyes were the light that reflected off the ocean—it brought a subtle, but steadily growing warmth to your world.

So you kissed him. You kissed him to express all the love you held for him, love that he filled you with whenever he could, love that you were more than happy to give back.

main masterlist

© liamade, 2022. all rights reserved.

[dat-town]

in your eyes, i see another me

Characters: Byounggon & female reader

Setting & genre: angst, hurt/comfort, set in the world of Save Me Kill Me MV

Summary: After 6 years, you come back to Korea and take your sister's place. You discover more secrets than you would have ever thought so. Maybe you didn’t know her as well as you believed.

Warnings: mentions of suicide (Yonghee's), attempted suicide (minor character), bullying, parents' divorce and neglectful behaviour (MC's), deceased parents (not MC's), academic pressure, depression (not MC’s), anti-depressant pills, invasion of privacy (between siblings), arson, theft ‒ if any of these topics are triggering for you, please don’t interact with the fic. if you would like to know what to expect under any warning beforehand, feel free to send me an ask

International suicide hotline: https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines/

Words: 11.9k

Author’s note: Heavily inspired by the CIX story films and Save Me Kill Me MV, so the boys' characters resemble that more than their idol personality. The story takes place in the next school term, which I decided to make the senior year, after the MV's events. According to this, Yonghee's character never wakes up, so this is partly about the aftermath, sorry. Furthermore, the reader’s arc was inspired by the Thai drama called Not Me. No need to know it in order to understand the story but if you do, know that I took the twin thing and ran with it.

Title taken from Ateez’s Dazzling Light.

For @restlessmaknae, sorry for the angst (again) <3 (also it was actually hard to choose a guy for this story because you are soft for all of them but the mv and @lily-blue helped)

You used to have this game with your sister: you switched places and waited how long it took for people to figure it out.

Being identical twins, you looked pretty much the same. Even if your behavior had a stark contrast – where she was sharp and brave, you were timid and careful –, you could deceive people easily. Sometimes even when you looked into the mirror you used to be unsure whether the one you saw was her or you. It was in a way a frail attempt of trying to remember her, trying to imagine how she grew up while you were separated.

The divorce was ugly. Lots of yelling and plate breaking. It was better this way but you didn't expect losing half your family, too. You moved to London with your mom and Jieun stayed in Seoul with your dad, cutting off all contact. You were twelve then.

Eighteen when Jieun jumped from a bridge.

It was the first time you heard your father's voice in the last six years. It was also the first time since their divorce that you heard your mother cry. The next day after the call the two of you got on a plane and within 48 hours, you were back in Korea, back in your childhood room that now had more makeup than teddy bears. Jieun never liked soft things anyway.

She was always tough in your memories yet she looked so vulnerable in the hospital bed, tied to machines, unconscious. You couldn't help but wonder about the reasons. Why would she do such a thing? You had a fairly wealthy family and she was said to be a good student. What could possibly make her do it, to give it all up? You had no idea and it frustrated you to no end. It was like you didn't even know your sister and sadly, it was exactly the case. That last six years put the world between you.

It was an impulse decision, such a Jieun thing to do, when you visited a hairdresser and had your long hair cut shoulder-length like hers with bangs you had never had since you were fourteen. You also went to get your ears pierced and put in one pair of her earrings. You looked the same once again. Your mom almost fainted when she saw what you did. But at least you felt closer to Jieun somehow.

The questions kept you up all night even if you knew you wouldn't get your answers staring at the ceiling of her room. You went through her drawers first then her phone. She had an unanswered call from a boy named Seunghun from the night she had jumped. And a bunch of photos with a group of boys, all wearing the same school uniform as hers. You stared at Jieun's untouched school clothes hanging from her wardrobe door and made your decision.

So far in your senior year, your school in England let you take the classes and tests online, not real time though due to the time zone difference, so you were mostly at home while your parents were either at work or in the hospital. You didn't think they would even notice you leaving. So the next day, you put on Jieun's uniform and name tag, then left for her school.

Korean high school life was both the same and very different from the UK one at the same time. You tried your best blending in. Even more so because you knew that your parents didn't want to shout out to the world what had happened, so the school only knew that Jieun was on sick leave. Divorced parents was enough of a stain on the perfect family picture but a daughter with suicide attempt would have been worse. You thought it was ridiculous, that they were still so afraid of losing face when their daughter was in coma due to the head injury she had. But their arrogance came in handy to you because this way nobody was too shocked to see Jieun – you – back at school so quickly.

"Jieun-ah!" Came the voice from behind and you were so lost in your thoughts, trying hard to not look like a sore thumb sticking out as you were looking for the classroom of 3–2 class, that you forgot that you should have reacted to your sister's name like you did to yours. The boy didn't take it to heart though, he came up to you from behind and threw an arm over your shoulder which made you flinch but he didn't seem to notice that as he smiled down at you brightly under his fluffy hair hanging into his eyes. "Hey, are you feeling better now? Mr. Lee said you were sick but you didn't reply in the groupchat."

Oh the dozens of unread messages on Jieun's phone? You couldn't make yourself read them, not yet. It probably would have been wiser to do so before you walked into the school wearing her name tag but strangely, out of all the things you did, reading over her private messages would have felt the most like invading her privacy.

"Ah, I'm good but my phone seems to be acting up, I need to take it to the service," you lied but tried to make it sound natural and casual but you had a feeling that you sounded a bit nervous. Gosh, Jieun would have never. Hopefully it could be written off as her being sick for a while.

"Oh, okay. I just got worried when I called you and you didn't answer. After what happened with Yonghee last year…" he trailed off and you used his momentary distraction to glance down at his name tag. Kim Seunghun indeed. So he was the one who called Jieun on that day and since he said he was worried, they must have been close.

You had no idea what had happened with that so-called Yonghee though but you couldn't ask about that. It seemed important to Seunghun and you were sure Jieun would have known about it. You made a mental note to look into it but first you had a class and you still didn't find the right classroom.

"Did I miss a lot?" You asked vaguely enough, so the boy could interpret it as in studies or in the previously mentioned group chat too.

"Not really but you should ask Hyunsuk or Byeol for notes if you want them. We all will meet after classes anyways," Seunghun hummed and still with his arm's weight around you, he guided you through the corridors, chatting your ears off about this new choreography his dance class was learning. Huh, pretending to be your sister seemed easier than you thought.

The Korean education system was stricter than the British one you got accustomed to but the hardest part of it was the language. The sinus-cosinus definition wasn't really part of your native language vocabulary that you used with your mom while being abroad. The teacher wasn’t so supportive either, you got reprimanded for not catching up quick enough after your sick leave. Jeez, did they think you were machines, all fine after rebooting? You clenched your hand into a fist, suppressing the urge to yell at her that Jieun was in a freaking coma because she had tried to take her own life and the homework was all she cared about? You had been brought close to tears just by the reminder of what happened to your sister but nobody cared. The teacher called out another student’s name and you cast your eyes down, feeling the weight of Seunghun’s worried gaze on you. He didn’t say anything even if he thought that you were acting out of character.

“Jieun-ah! I’m so glad you’re back,” Thin arms embraced you tighter than you would have expected from them when you got up from your desk after the torturous Maths class. You peeked down at the petite girl with long hair and reserved smile as she stepped back. Behind her stood the tallest boy of the class, a lopsided smile playing on his lips shyly. “I should have sent you the schoolwork material but you went MIA and we didn’t know when you would be back.”

“Her phone broke,” Seunghun piped in as he slid to sit on your – Jieun's – desk, the casual familiarity of the action making your thoughts run wild. Jieun seemed to have close, good friends yet none of them seemed to be aware of her struggles. Just what exactly was she going through?

Hyunsuk and Byeol were a funny couple. You weren’t sure they were official per se but they were practically attached by the hip and while they weren’t touchy or anything like that, the boy looked at the girl as if she hung the stars and all. He even gave her his strawberries from his tray during lunch break claiming that he didn’t crave anything sweet at that moment. Byeol was less obvious but she looked overly fondly at him whenever he did something slightly embarrassing or said something funny. It was cute.

The rest of the school day wasn't too interesting but after meeting the couple and also sharing lunch period with them, you wondered who else Seunghun meant when he had said that you would meet the others after school. You thought back on the group picture you saw on your sister's phone. They all wore the same uniform, so they must have gone to this school too but not all of them were in this class apparently because you haven't seen other familiar faces yet. You packed your bag slowly, following Seunghun's lead when the group left the classroom after your last History class for the day. When you ended up in front of the door of the Film Club, you were rather surprised because you had no idea Jieun was into movies. Maybe you would have expected more movie posters in her room than indie punk rock band merch then. Just how much you didn't know about her?

Seunghun opened the door and acknowledged the presence of somebody inside with a nod. You gulped as you stepped inside, trying not to be too obvious about never having been at that place by looking around too much. It was a cozy little space but your gaze settled on the boy sitting on the worn couch. His uniform's necktie was loosened but his name tag was still neatly attached, so you could catch his name. Bae Jinyoung.

At your arrival the boy looked up from his phone, his expression stern and neutral, his gaze lingering on you longer than the rest of the guys before turning back to whatever he was doing before. You glanced down at his hand holding the device, at his knuckles that were scarred and red. You soon learned though that he wasn't the most troublesome-looking member of your current company. The winner of that title came in late, wearing a black hoodie instead of his uniform jacket, clicking a lighter in his hand, his dark gaze unwavering when he saw you.

"Ran out of eyeliner today or what?" He scoffed and needless to say, you were shocked by his first words at you. Did he know? That you weren't Jieun? Just because of your makeup?

"Not your business," you rolled your eyes at him, trying to channel your inner savage based on your father's descriptions on your sister's 'rebellious phrase' and it was probably believable and Jieun-like enough that the boy just plopped down by the coffee table, leaning against a shelf without saying anything more.

Who the heck was he anyways? Maybe you really should have read over your sister's chat history to know how to act with all these people. You only guessed how Jieun was now based on what you remembered  from 6 years ago and what your father said about her behavior from before the incident. Hopefully she didn't have any secret boyfriend you should have known about because you didn't even consider that possibility. You didn't wish to deceive somebody so close to her. In retrospect, it might have been a crazy idea to even try to figure out what had happened to her by being literally in her shoes instead of asking around about her but people tended to be wary of strangers, and you didn't want to waste your time with gaining others' trust.

"Gunhee and his minions still bother the freshmen. I saw them pour the contents of a lunch tray on one of them yesterday. I guess we need something more memorable than destroying their property that can be bought with daddy's money. Any ideas?" Seunghun started off and you tried to school your expression into a less confused one than how you felt. Wait, wasn't it a film club?

"I say we should hit them where it hurts them. Especially Gunhee. He's their leader, without him, Botong and Woobin wouldn't do anything," Jinyoung noted and everybody hummed in agreement. You obviously had no idea whom they were talking about.

"What about taking Gunhee's expensive Swiss or whatever watch? He's so proud of it," the boy whose name you didn't know grimaced in disgust and this time you couldn't stop yourself from speaking up.

"But that's theft."

The boy's sharp, dark eyes laser focused on you. But not only his. You could feel everybody's gaze on you.

"I'm aware, Miss Dictionary," the guy in the hoodie rolled his eyes, his tone condemning. "What? Pouring bleach on Wonhee's hair was okay but theft is suddenly not?"

Oh that sounded like an accusation. Did Jieun really do that? Either way you raised your chin and stood by your standpoint.

"Theft is illegal and if they are rich enough, they can get you into serious trouble. Expelling you from school is the least," you tried to talk some sense into the guy and looked around to see if anybody would support your point but you could only catch a glance of Hyunsuk and Byeol exchanging a glance.

"If they know that it was me. We never got caught before," the boy kept going and the realization that they were doing things like this for quite some time based on his words messed with your head. Just what kind of friends had your sister gotten herself? Just what kind of things had  she done that led her to jump into the cold water of Han river?

"I'm just saying it's too risky and has a low impact. Even if it's a fancy watch, he can probably get another after a slap from his father," you claimed because you might not have known these students but bullies and rich kids were the same everywhere.

"Do you have a better idea then?" The rude guy challenged you and shit, you didn't think that ahead. Or at all.

"Byounggon…" Seunghun put a hand on his friend's shoulder. Probably he could feel the tension in the air too and bless him, he wanted to help. "She's right. It's nothing we didn't do before."

"Let's catch them in the act. Record it and send it in to the school committee," you suggested but of course, the other boy was quick to call you out on your naivety.

"You know that wouldn't change a bit. They would bury the case. Gunhee's father is an honorable donor to the school's trust fund.

"Then let's humiliate them in public. Post the video online. They couldn't bury that," you retorted, sliding your gaze from one boy to another when the so-called Byounggon didn't object.

"I like it," Byeol broke the silence quietly and apparently being a petty loser when it came to arguments, the hoodied guy pushed himself off the ground and stormed out of the room.

"Don't worry about him. He will cool down soon," Hyunsuk said seeing your dumbfounded reaction and you wondered if every meeting was like this for them. What kind of club was this exactly? Revenge Rangers of what?

After the adrupt leave of the guy, the others discussed where would be the best idea to catch the bullies red handed but you only paid attention partly. Your mind was too busy processing all the information about Jieun's friends. No wonder Seunghun, who seemed to be the closest to her, noticed that something was up with you.

"You were quiet today," he spoke up, not accusatory, just kind of worried, as you walked out of the building, backpack on one shoulder. Funny because you didn't feel like you were quiet at all, you had never been so argumantive. Was it an every day thing for Jieun?

You couldn't look the boy in the eye as you shrugged it off.

"I still feel a bit off," you quickly made up a lie, hoping that it was believable enough and luckily the boy didn't stick to the topic.

"I will walk you to the bus stop," he said instead and you were grateful for his consideration even though you knew it wasn't directed at you. Nothing they did was, it was all for Jieun.

You were doing everything for her too.

As expected, your parents were too busy to notice that you slipped away during the day and even if they did, they didn't ask about it. The deeper you dug into Jieun's life, the more you felt like you didn't even know her. Sure 6 years was a lot but still. Even the rude guy was right. Based on her pictures, Jieun liked to apply a thicker eyeliner with dark smokey eyeshadow lightly enough to get away with the school policy probably. So you adjusted.

You also caught up a bit on her recent messages with the group, trying to find something, any clue about what she could struggle with and to not give yourself away. Seunghun seemed like a constant in her life, they texted a lot, him always checking in on her. She also talked a lot to Byeol and Hyunsuk. Her last conversation with Byounggon was months ago, him asking where the hell she was but it was left on read. While searching for Jinyoung's contact in the app, you stumbled upon Jieun's conversation with Yonghee dated back late last year, her frantic last messages still unread.

can we talk? yonghee please i'm sorry

It took a simple search on the school website to figure out that Yonghee was a boy in Jinyoung's class. Or used to be. The tragic news of his suicide were more hidden as if the school or somebody tried to cover it up. Yonghee's father was a political figure, so it must have been a sensitive topic. Could that be the reason behind his actions? Could it be behind Jieun's?

You knew that academic pressure was intense in Korea but it must have been even more overbearing if one was born into a family of high esteem, since they couldn't allow themselves to lose face after all. On top of that, was Yonghee bullied too? The others had never said anything but they seemed to be very pissed at bullies, it would have made sense, doing this revenge plot. Yonghee seemed happy in the videos you found after all. But it was easy to only see only one side of the story when somebody was trying to hide the other.

The next time you met Byounggon, he acted like he was looking for trouble.

You were by the standees next to the school's basketball field, texting your mom about going home late because you needed to check something out in a local library for homework. You didn't think anybody would be around there but apparently you were wrong.

“What do you need two phones for?” The guy grumbled at you, hopping down next to you on the bench, eyeing the iPhone in your hands as if it personally offended him. At first you wanted to tell him that he remembered wrong, you only had one phone but it would have been a hard pass because he could have asked any of the guys who had seen you use Jieun's Samsung even that day.

“My phone has been acting up lately, remember? This is my backup,” you tried to make it sound convincing but it didn't matter. The guy still crunched his nose in disgust.

“Rich people things,” he muttered under his nose, disdaining and you wondered whether he was like this to your sister, too. Based on their scarce messaging, probably. What was his problem anyway?

“Why does it matter to you?” You huffed, not really getting why he had to make these kinds of comments. For real, did he walk up to you just to point out your phone?

“It doesn't,” he rolled his eyes, sliding backwards to balance himself on his elbows, looking up at the sky before closing his eyes. You used this chance to let your gaze linger over his always stern features and his black hair brushed out of his face. That day he didn't wear his hoodie, but his tie was loosened and his uniform was crumpled.

“Don't you have class?” You blurted out and the guy peeked at you, narrowing his eyes.

“I could ask the same.”

Well, he could. You would have had PE but you managed to get away with claiming you weren't feeling well and the teacher sent you to the infirmary. You needed time to work on your Literature essay for your home school back in the UK before you failed because you spent too much time digging into your sister's life.

“I wasn't feeling well. I guess the teacher didn't want me to faint during running laps,” you shrugged, getting better at lying. It wasn't a skill you should have been proud of but maybe Jieun would have been. Not that she would have been too happy about discovering that you pretended to be her. But you would have cared about that when she woke up. You would have taken any scolding happily if that happened. When, you reminded yourself, not if. “What's your excuse?”

“I'm just not feeling like it.”

So he was skipping class too. You wondered how often he did. Whether he didn't care about acing the CSATs and getting into a good university at all. Or maybe he just gave up, knowing he couldn't afford tuition and that's why he hated rich people so vehemently.

The next thing you went through among Jieun's things were her wardrobe's hidden or stacked compartments. That's how you found the bottle of pills labeled neatly, half-empty.

"Did you know that Jieun took anti-depressants?" You brought it up at the already awkward family dinner that night, the silence following your words was astonished.

"What? That's ridiculous," your father scoffed but it wasn't laughable in your opinion. Nor something that should have been brushed off. Especially because you knew that mental health wasn't an as accepted topic in Korea as in the UK.

So you looked up the doctor who prescribed the pills and booked a session under your sister's name. She welcomed you with a kind smile and understanding eyes, she asked how you were coping. It wasn't even a lie when you told her that everything was a bit too much.

"Did you think about what I asked last time? What do you have to live for?" She asked and you felt your heart churn. Maybe Jieun really had had enough.

It was an interesting session: trying to act and think like your sister while answering deep, thought-provoking questions about things you had no idea of. At one point you wanted nothing more than to cry and admit what you were doing and why or how worried you were about Jieun but in the end, it still felt like it helped. Talking to somebody about Jieun's situation, even if you didn't get to know much more about it.

But when you were about to leave, the psychologist called after you.

"Is Jieun okay?" She asked, firm but not unkind, no malice or anger in her voice.

"Did you…" You blinked, surprised, but it made sense. If she was good at her job, she must have seen the differences in your mannerism and reactions. You wondered when she realized you weren't your sister.

"She told me about you, you know. She missed you," the psychologist said and you felt tears well up in your eyes.

"I missed her too," you admitted, a little fragile sound in the back of your throat. "She jumped from the Mapo Bridge two weeks ago, she's in hospital."

Saying it out loud made it so real and yet, it felt somehow deliberating that somebody other than your parents knew who you really were. That you could talk about Jieun with somebody like this.

"Did she really want to die?" You found yourself asking, a part of you afraid of the answer.

"She felt guilty for a lot of things. She wasn't as strong as she made herself seem but she didn't want her friends and family to know," the woman said in an understanding, emphatic tone and you wondered just how many things Jieun was hiding.

You thought you would feel closer to her if you went to Mapo, but you only had more questions. Standing by the railing of the bridge, you watched as the waves washed the shore quietly. On the way, you had walked by an emergency phone booth for people thinking of suicide and you wondered why your sister hadn't reached out. Why didn't she tell anybody that she had been struggling? The psychologist's words rang in your ear: she didn't want them to know. But still, why jumping? She had those prescribed pills, she could have painlessly overdosed herself if she really wanted to, why this? Did she want to give herself a chance to survive? Or was it just a sudden decision? Was it because of Yonghee? You thought of her last texts to him. Was she feeling guilty towards him too?

There was another thing that the psychologist said that made you think. Was the reason why she could tell the difference between you that she knew that Jieun had a twin sister to begin with? Maybe pretending to be her was only easy at school because nobody knew about you? Who would have guessed after all that you were a secret twin just because you acted a bit differently? Not even the teachers nagged you about the change in your test results. You aced English but sucked at Korean Literature and History. Everything else was mostly okay because science and Maths couldn't really have been taught differently. It was only temporary, you told yourself, it wasn't like you were going to take the CSATs instead of Jieun too.

Not how you took her place in this group of hers. The Film Club was just an excuse to get together because the closest you got to anything relevant was Jinyoung showing a recording through his phone's cracked screen about one student shoving others out of his way. It was shaky and taken from farther away but it showed just enough to know where it was taken and what was happening. Still, you knew that this much wouldn't do much. Gunhee's behavior would have been written off as rude but not as a bully.

"It won't be enough to convince people," you murmured and even though everybody must have known that, you were the scapegoat for saying it out loud.

"What? You want us to film when he kicks and hits kids for fun and do nothing just to have video evidence?" Byounggon snapped at you, his face distorted with disdain. As you glanced at him you saw something else there too though: guilt.

“Well, it's not like we would find any CCTV recordings now, would we?” You asked, keeping eye contact with him. Of course, you didn’t want any of you to just be bystanders and watch bullying happen, but you wanted to stay realistic and you knew that in a world where money and power talked, something like this wouldn’t have been enough, it would have gotten buried.

"And whose idea was the whole thing to begin with?" The guy retorted and seriously, you had no idea whether he had a problem with your sister, you or the whole world but his snarky comments bugged you.

"Wait…" Jinyoung interrupted, louder than he usually did, before you could have spoken up and potentially escalated the situation. Everybody turned to the boy because it was rare that he spoke with such vehemence and urgency. "Their phones… I had seen them record things before."

You felt dread spread in your body as you imagined just what kind of videos those could be. You watched Jinyoung closely, the way his hands were in fists, knuckles turning white and wondered, just what he could have seen.

The others were shaken up a bit as well.

“I’m sure they are sharing it in their disgusting group chat,” Byeol muttered.

“That’s messed up,” her boyfriend agreed but it was Seunghun who eventually threw in the idea:

“So… are we stealing a phone?”

Yep, you were planning to steal a phone. If only your parents knew what you were up to! If Jieun knew…

It was easier said than done because it wasn’t enough to take a phone. You needed it unlocked and preferably without anybody noticing that it was gone at least for a while, so you would get away with it the easiest. But Gunhee and his minions were going everywhere like a pack, it was hard to find them alone and unsuspecting, so you were over some unsuccessful attempts when the guys started to get restless and annoyed. You were afraid that one of them would do something rash and stupid, so you told them you would approach this thing differently. The bullies might not have trusted you knowing whom you were friends with and how vocal they and Jieun had been against them but boys were boys at the end of the day and if you implied that you liked them, their pride might have overshadowed their judgment. You just needed to ask to exchange numbers or KKT contact after all to have their phone in your hands, easy peasy. But Byounggon called your plan stupid and Seunghun looked at you with worry written all over his features as if they hadn’t put themselves in the crossfire with their previous attempts. Like Jinyoung who almost got into detention because of it.

"Is he… okay?" You asked later when it was just the two of you with Seunghun, tentatively.

Jinyoung clearly wasn't okay but you didn't know how to phrase it better. The dancer boy seemed to understand it though.

"Not really. Not since what happened with Yonghee," he said and despite still not knowing what exactly happened to their friend, it would have been too suspicious to ask now.

It was already too late to reveal the truth without burning the bridges behind you. But the more and more time you spent with them, the more guilty you felt whenever you lied to them. Like when you told Seunghun you didn’t take your usual bus because you headed in a different direction for your dental check up when in reality you went to visit Jieun.

You sat by her bed and held her hand. You whispered promises like that you wouldn’t mind if her friends hated you after they found out about the truth or even if she wouldn’t forgive you, you wouldn’t care if only she woke up. You had missed 6 years already, you didn’t want to miss more. You wanted to be there for her, so she wouldn’t feel so alone ever again to feel like she didn’t have any other choice but jump. You promised you would go against your parents if they wanted to separate you once again. You wouldn’t leave her alone, not again.

You stayed in the hospital until a nurse kindly sent you away and even then you weren’t ready to go home yet. There were days when it hit you that a tragedy (an almost tragedy) had to happen, so you would come back and it just didn’t feel right, without Jieun at the dinner table.

It was while you wandered around the neighborhood when you heard the angry yelling, a man threatening to call the cops and the next moment you saw a flash of somebody run past you and it was only because you had spent so much time around him lately that you recognized him in his signature hoodie over his school uniform right away. You didn’t really think, you didn’t really have the time, you acted on impulse as you ran after him and catching up, you grabbed him by the wrist to pull him into the first 24/7 corner convenience store you saw.

Panting, you crouched down behind one of the shelves before getting a good look at Byounggon’s bruised face.

“Just what have you been getting yourself into?” You questioned but probably your worry came across as an accusation because the boy’s only answer was to yank his arm out of your hold and sit down on the ground with his back to the fridge on the other side.

No matter how hard you watched him, you couldn’t tell if he was more angry, annoyed or embarrassed, so you decided not to push the topic. Sighing, you got up, made sure nobody was looking outside of the store's glass walls before picking up two cups of noodles, sausage, cheese and hard boiled eggs and went to the counter to pay.

Without saying anything you dropped a few items into Byounggon’s lap when you were done and walked to the dining-in part of the store to pour hot water over your noodles and started packing out at one of the plastic tables. Soon enough, the grumpy guy joined you as well, sitting across from you, putting down his own steaming cup of ramen.

“Did you cry?” He grunted out and you had the urge to laugh because if this was his idea of small talk or thank you, he was doing it wrongly. But still, since he noticed your puffy eyes, you automatically reached to wipe down any possible remnants of tears.

“No,” you objected poorly, not liking to cry in front of anybody.

Byounggon didn't call you out on your bullshit though, just shrugged and muttered something under his breath about you looking okay without the eyeliner too. You huffed out a laugh at the absurdity of his comment but felt a bit lighter after.

Clearly, you both had things you didn’t want to talk about, so you didn’t exchange any words while you waited for your noodles to soften and even then, when you both dived into the spicy hot late night meal of yours, chit-chatting wasn’t really among your plans. There was enough casual intimacy in sharing a meal. But the moment you slurped on your ramen, the flavourful taste startled you which obviously didn't go unnoticed by the boy.

"What? Does it not appease your rich taste?" He huffed but you were too baffled by the amazing taste to take offense in his tone.

"No, god, I missed convenience store food!" You admitted excitedly like a child, diving back into your instant ramen with the melted cheese and egg on top. Your mom never let you eat this kind of ‘junk food’, so it felt a bit like rebellion doing something like this behind her back but thinking about it, lately you had done worse things she wouldn't have been proud of.

Byounggon seemed a bit surprised but he didn’t make any more comments and continued eating instead but you didn’t forget his comment while devouring your new favorite guilty pleasure.

"Why are you so obsessed with my family's financial background anyway?"

"I'm not obsessed," the guy rolled his eyes and bit some off his sausage.

"Sure, you just like to point it out whenever you have a chance,” you reminded him and even though you knew that you didn’t owe him anything, you had enough of him acting like you were some spoiled princess. Sure, your family might have been privileged because you didn’t struggle financially but money couldn’t solve everything. “You know that I can't change that, right? What family I was born into. And it's not like it's picture perfect. My parents got divorced when I was 12 and I haven't seen my sister in 6 years, so whatever idea you have about it, it's not like that," you blurted out a bit more vehemently than you intended to before turning back to your food.

"I didn't know you had a sibling," he said, quietly. Out of all things he could comment on he chose this. But this confirmed your theory: the reason why Jieun’s friend didn’t even suspect you must have been because they didn’t even know you existed.

"Yeah, well, sometimes it feels like I don't," you muttered, casting your eyes down as you went back to slurp your noodle.

You weren’t sure what but something shifted between you and Byounggon after that night. He wasn’t so quick to make comments on you or your ideas but it didn’t mean that he didn’t nose into your business. If anything, suddenly he was everywhere.

You usually ate at the canteen with Seunghun, Hyunsuk and Byeol, sometimes joined by Jinyoung but never Byounggon. Now he put his tray at the end of your table more often than not. Even Seunghun notices that you didn’t argue that much.

“You know, you got somehow less reckless. Don't get me wrong, it's a good thing. You and Byounggon were always like fire and gasoline, a dangerous duo, always overbidding each other with crazy ideas. Now, it's almost like you can control his flamboyance with rationality," he told you and even though you didn’t feel like you could control the other guy at all, it was an interesting insight.

Was Jieun really like that? So hot-headed? Was that why Seunghun was constantly worried about her or was that because he knew that she put up a front? It was clear that he was the closest to Jieun of the group but you couldn’t be sure just how close. The boy had never implied that they were ever more than friends nor acted suggestively at all but still, sometimes when he looked at you ‒ at Jieun ‒ you couldn’t help but wonder if there was more to know.

But your head was already a mess with all the things going on with your sister, the bullies and Byounggon’s weird behavior. You didn’t want to add more to the pile. You were already too distracted as is, enough to get knocked out by a dodgeball the next time your grade had PE together. You only remember lying on the ground, looking up at the sky, other students hovering over you.

“Hey, are you ok?” Byounggon shook your shoulder and despite feeling dizzy, you tried to nod. He didn’t look convinced. “I will take you to the infirmary.”

“Don’t,” Seunghun brushed his hand off you. “I will take her.”

Next time you woke up, it was already late. The sky was dark outside of the window and the only light inside was provided by the yellow lamps in the infirmary room. It was quiet and empty, except for Seunghun dozing off in a chair next to your bed. You pushed yourself up into a sitting position, wincing when you touched a bruise you acquired during the fall. Maybe that was what brought back the boy to reality because he immediately rushed to your side, worried.

“Are you up? How do you feel?”

“As if I slept the day away,” you shrugged. You weren’t really in pain or tired but you still felt a bit sleepy. Hearing that, Seunghun sighed, relieved.

“The school nurse said that it’s unlikely that you got a concussion from that. You should get some rest, ice the bump and go to a hospital if you feel dizzy or nauseous,” he told you and offered a hand as you were getting out of the bed but you didn’t feel weakened, so you didn’t need his support no matter how much you appreciated his help.

“I should change,” you said since you were still in your PE clothes and you had the rest of your stuff in the girls’ dressing room or the classroom. Seunghun offered to get your bag while you put your uniform back on, so you agreed to meet in front of the changing rooms.

When you switched on the lights inside, you immediately noticed that something was off. On the metal locker in which you had previously put your clothes, there was a writing scribbled with red lipstick. It was smudged but there was no mistake in what it was supposed to be: bitch.

You furrowed your brows, not understanding where this suddenly came from. What had you or Jieun done that resorted somebody else to such means? Did Jieun have enemies? It was all too sudden after weeks of radio silence, so you tried to ignore it as you put back on your clothes and closed the locker. You didn’t say anything about it to Seunghun when he waited for you with your bag in hand.

“Thanks,” you smiled at him, grateful, and fished your phone out of the inner pocket. One glance at the screen was enough to know that the atmosphere at home wouldn't be great. You had missed dinner without telling your mother in advance after all. Or maybe they got a call from the school that something had happened with Jieun. One option was worse than the other.

"I need to go, mom wants me home," you excused yourself without thinking, turning to leave only for light fingers to circle around your wrist, keeping you in place. You looked back at Seunghun with furrowed brows, his expression just as confused.

"Your mom?" He asked, tentative and worried. Your heartbeat picked up its speed as you realised your mistake. Shit. "Is she back?"

With how close they were, you weren’t surprised that the boy knew about how, for Jieun, your mother was out of the picture, so no wonder he was surprised but honestly, after everything you had learned about her, you weren’t sure you knew how your twin sister would have reacted to your mother being back for a while. Because it was all temporary, you reminded yourself.

“Yeah. She has something to do in the city,” you shrugged, trying to act nonchalant, as if you didn’t just drop a totally cover-blowing information.

“So… she won’t stay?” Seunghun asked so softly as if he was fearing that his question could hurt you and once again, you were grateful that your sister had friends like him who cared about her like this.

“I don’t think so,” you shook your head and saw something painful flash in the boy’s warm brown eyes, so you reached out to squeeze his hand. “It’s okay. I’m okay,” you reassured him, not knowing if you were actually comforting him or yourself.

It happened so fast. You still hadn’t come up with a new plan about how to have proof about the main bullies of the school when you found yourself in the middle of a situation.

You ran into Byounggon and Jinyoung by one of the benches near the canteen and sat at their table. Before you would have never done that without Byeol or Seunghun beside you but the others were busy and by now you weren’t afraid that any of the boys would corner you with doubtful questions. Jinyoung acknowledged your presence with a brief glance then he turned back to his food, Byounggon on the other hand kept his eyes on you. Did you forget the eyeliner or did he find something else off? Either way, he didn’t comment on it and you all ate in silence.

Then you heard metal clattering on the floor and laughter that erupted somewhere further in the back. You were on your feet right away but the boys were quicker, so you could only follow them. Of course it was Gunhee and his gang. Girls and boys alike laughed over how one of their classmates fell, dropping his tray.

“You should have paid more attention. I can put my leg wherever I want to, can’t I?” Gunhee tsked as if it wasn’t his fault or intention. You stood there frozen, not sure how the situation would unfold with so many people watching but not daring to interrupt. You were all bystanders one way or another. Whenever people were watching but didn’t do anything it was partly their fault too. But you couldn’t blame them, not really, because they had their own reasons for not acting up: out of fear or because one wasn’t supposed to be nosy, not in a society like yours that depended on hierarchy like it was law written in stone.

“Come on, say sorry,” the guy cooed at his victim, kicking his tray even further away, his expensive sneakers smeared with the lunch. The kneeling boy in front of him stuttered out sorrys but apparently that wasn’t enough. “What was that? I didn’t quite hear you,” he pushed more and leaning down, he grabbed the boy by the hair.

That was when Jinyoung snapped. He bolted from by your side and grabbed Gunhee by his collar, pushing him against the table, pieces of metals making cacophony. You wanted to go there and pull him back, explaining that violence shouldn't have been the solution but instead you rushed to the boy on the ground and helped him up. He was too embarrassed to look you in the eyes and he quickly brushed your helping hands off him too before hurrying away.

Beside you there was chaos. The popular girls, like that Wonhee Jieun apparently had beef with, were either screaming or leaving but Jinyoung and Byounggon were fighting with Gunhee and his minions, punches thrown and kicks exchanged. It was two against five, they stood no chance. That’s why you ran to get a teacher to stop the fight even if it meant that all of you ended up in front of the teachers’ room after everybody on the scene was questioned in private, waiting for the verdict over the case of ‘unacceptable violence’.

“Everybody can leave except for Bae Jinyoung and Lee Byounggon,” the teacher who showed up claimed and from the bench across you Gunhee scoffed as if it was expected.

“Why can they just leave?” You stood up, confused, not reacting to the all too smug smile the bully guy flashed at you as he passed by you.

“Other than you, nobody thinks that Gunhee did anything to trigger your friends’ aggressive behavior and the other involved student you mentioned also said they were just joking around,” the teacher explained, tired and didn’t even give you a chance to retort before turning to the boys. “You two get a week of suspension. Be grateful that Gunhee’s mother didn’t insist on a harsher punishment.”

“But‒” You wanted to protest, to yell, to do anything because it was so unfair, it felt like a punch. Now you were feeling on your skin how much injustice it could cause when you went against powerful people who had the money and influence to have their way.

“Leave it,” Byounggon told you firmly and grabbed you by the wrist to hold you back from going after the teacher.

You couldn’t believe that both of them were so resigned, willing to go down without fighting. Were they tired of it, always being pushed down by people on the top? Were they giving up? You found yourself looking down at the boy with pleading eyes because they couldn’t do that, not now, but he just stared back at you, the corner of his lips lifting and he pulled out a phone from his hoodie’s pocket. It definitely wasn’t his  because it was a new model and not to mention an iPhone for which he had practically called you a snob before.

“You got it!” You whisper-yelled, suddenly excited and feeling accomplished. Byounggon nodded at you and just held out the phone to Jinyoung who didn’t seem surprised at all, as if it was their plan from the beginning.

“I’ll leave first,” the other guy said after pocketing the phone. Neither of them seemed too upset over the week long suspension even though with the approach of the exams, they probably should have. But the phone and the videos on it mattered more than grades, the untold stories of hurt and the ugly reality. If it was revealed and the bullies were accordingly punished, maybe the victims could feel at least a bit at ease. You hoped at least.

You would have thought that Byounggon would walk away similarly too but instead, he turned to you, something serious you couldn't quite place written on his face.

"Wanna skip class with me?" He asked and you furrowed your brows, ready to protest but then realized that due to the whole incident it was already twenty minutes into your Maths class. You shrugged but followed the boy nevertheless.

You thought that he would go off school grounds since he was suspended anyways but instead he led you to the teachers' smoking area balcony on the third floor and beckoned you towards the ladder resting across the building's wall. You furrowed your brows, not sure that going up to the rooftop wasn't against some kind of rule but didn't say anything. You have broken enough rules for the day, one more couldn't have hurt.

You were climbing up the steps, taking Byounggon's outreached hand when you reached the top, barely noticing how his touch lingered when you saw the scenery. Everything around you seemed so small, so unimportant, it put life into a different perspective.

"Wow," you breathed, wandering farther ahead.

"I know, right? It's pretty cool," the boy behind you hummed. "I kept thinking why Yonghee chose this place to jump from. But after all, it was this school that killed him."

You froze in place, suddenly trembling despite the warm breeze in the air. The boy didn't seem to notice as he sat down on the ground and lied down to watch the cloudy sky.

"Sometimes we keep doing things that's killing us," he added and you couldn't help but glance at him then, the blooming bruise on his cheek, the firm line of his lips. "Did you know that my father died from smoking? I was fourteen."

He didn't expect an answer as he took out the lighter he always played with. Your heart churned at the sight.

"Do you miss him?" You asked, gently, not pushing. You wanted to reach out and hold his hand, reminding him that he wasn't alone.

"Yeah," he whispered, a heavy word on such a sharp tongue. He turned to you, head tilted, his fringe messy against his forehead but eyes so so clear. "Do you miss your mom?"

You needed a beat to realize that he asked about your mother because of Jieun. Of course, he did.

"I do," you echoed, because your sister must have missed your mother the same way you missed your father. It wasn't the same as him though, at least they were alive and yet, that somehow hurt more that they willingly decided to stay out of your lives.

"You know…" Byounggon started as he sat up, quiet like he was sharing a secret, his eyes boring into yours. "I wish you had come into my life sooner."

You blinked slowly, throat dry and heart beating like a drum. You couldn't look away from the intensity of Byounggon's eyes, his words hanging between you like a thread that binded. Your breath hitched as he inched closer.

You thought of his outstretched hand, of him getting you napkins at the convenience store, of throwing back the paper spitball that was thrown at you in the canteen,  telling you that you looked okay without makeup too, of him holding you gently, insisting to take you to the infirmary… but no, it all wasn't for you. He believed you were Jieun, all of them did.

The realization once again felt like a slap that even if he liked you, he didn't like you for you but for being Jieun. Their constant banter must have been their version of flirting.

You were too busy living your sibling's life to realize your own feelings, that the reason why it felt like ache in your chest was because you actually started to feel like you belong in this group, you started trying too hard to act like your sister because they accepted you like this. Seunghun noticed the change, so they all must have. Didn't Byounggon?

You turned your head before he could have closed the distance between you and let out a shaky breath. You could feel his breath against your cheek, warm, and then when he pulled away, it hurt even more but you couldn't do that to Jieun. You couldn't do that to him. It wouldn't have been fair to any of you.

Just then the school bell rang in the distance and in its echo, your (Jieun's) phone buzzed, Seunghun's name on the screen. You took it without thinking, needing any distraction you could get.

"Hey, I heard what happened. Where are you? Are you okay?" The boy asked, worried probably because you didn't show up for class.

"Yeah I'm good, I'm with Byounggon," you replied, fingernails digging into the cement under you. You could tell Seunghun tried not to sound disappointed when you mentioned the other boy but right then it was too much, so you just told him you would go to your next class, not to worry about you. It also gave you a valid reason to leave.

"I have to go," you excused yourself once you disconnected the call and Byounggon didn't try to stop you as you stood up.

"When will you stop lying?" He asked suddenly though and his voice was thunder in the quiet.

You forgot to breathe for a moment and you stared back at him with widened eyes. You expected him to be fierce and mad since for the first time he actually had a valid reason to dislike you. But you looked him in the eyes, dark as always and somehow this time it was softer. There was some kind of understanding in it. He usually had so much pent up anger at the world and guilt to deal with. You assumed that his clear dislike towards your financial status had come from the latter. Or maybe he just needed an outlet for his anger and your sister's personality provided him the perfect banter to de-stress.

"What?" You asked, dumbfounded, fearing but not sure that he actually figured out the truth about your real self. Would he have looked at you like this if he had done? Would he have confronted you before telling all your... his friends about you or even the whole school?

Byounggon sighed, his gaze never wavering.

"You are not Jieun," he said, certain, and your heart was beating in your chest like crazy. You wanted to object out of reflex but at the same time you didn't want to keep lying anymore. He didn't even let you. "The Jieun I know is reckless, acts first, thinks later. The Jieun I know hates her mom for leaving her and has a scar on her arm from when we got into a fight one time. The Jieun I know would have slapped me if I tried to kiss her."

Your breath hitched at the last part but you tried not to get fixated on the detail that he even mentioned that. You had bigger problems to take care of. 

"When did you figure it out?"

"You have been suspicious for a while. Suddenly you were more naive and cursed under your nose in English but I became sure that something was off when you fainted during PE. The lack of scar confirmed it."

If he had a hunch ever since then that it meant that when he was going to kiss you... he really meant to kiss you, not Jieun and yet, he had never said anything. Was he waiting for you to reveal yourself? Is that why he brought you there, why he told you about his father, why he tricked you to talk about your mom?

"So... who are you? The sibling I guess. Twin?" He asked and it would have made no sense to deny it further, so you nodded. "Where is Jieun? I doubt you are reenacting The Parent Trap."

You wanted to snort at his mention of the old Lindsay Lohan movie and wished that was the case. You never planned to tell them this way but he had the right to know, so you bit the bullet and told him about what happened in the simplest terms you could manage:

"She is at a hospital. She jumped from the Mapo Bridge. That's when my mom and I came back to Seoul last month."

"And you just decided to carry on with her life?" Byounggon raised a brow and you knew exactly how crazy it was but you had your own reasons.

"I wanted to understand why she did it," you explained even though pretending to be her got you nowhere near close.

"Well, good luck with that," the boy said bitterly and you wondered whether he was thinking of Yonghee. Whether everybody in the group had such deep trauma after what happened with him. The lack of his presence seemed to have affected all their lives deeply.

"Can you tell me what happened with Yonghee? I found Jieun's last texts with him and I think it might have something to do with her reason," you pleaded at which Byounggon looked away, his expression weary and sad and you were about to tell him not to mind your nosy ass but then he started talking and he didn't stop.

He told you about how the group had been formed, coincidences pushing them together and like-mindedness keeping them together. They were different in many aspects: families, hobbies, goals and yet, they could be themselves comfortably around each other.  There had been the five of them at first, then Seunghun had befriended Jieun. Hyunsuk had only started dating Byeol after what had happened to Yonghee. There had been a time when their group seemed to fall apart, each of them blaming themselves in a way, yet ironically it had been Yonghee and the Film Club that had brought them together again. That was when they had decided to do something about the bullies, so what had happened to their friend wouldn't happen to others. Yonghee had been facing a lot of academic pressure from his parents and bullies had liked to pick up on him too. Byounggon had known but he hadn't done anything about it, not until it was already too late. Neither had done Jinyoung and he had taken it even worse.

"Did Jieun know?"

"With his bruises, I think we all could have guessed it sooner. We could have helped but Yonghee was always so guarded, claiming he was fine. I think we were afraid it was his father,” Byounggon trailed off, quiet, his nails drawing crescents into his skin through the tear in his pants. “Jieun and him got into a fight before... you know. I think it was about some grade. Jieun told him he was overreacting and he didn't take it well saying he had to prove his worth for his father."

Oh, that would have explained the texts between your sister and him. Could it have been one of the last straws? Could it have been why Jieun was also struggling? All you had was guesses but Byounggon was right, you could never know what was going on in another person’s head, not even if you were friends or family. Everybody had their own reasons and nobody could know when somebody would reach their tipping point. It could have been something small and otherwise insignificant that pushed them too far.

“You need to tell the others,” Byounggon spoke up again and you cast your eyes down. It was easier said than done. It was easier to avoid than facing your wrongdoings.

“Don’t you hate me?” You asked, because you were sure that would happen if any of them realized that you deceived them and lied for weeks, listening to stories they wouldn’t have shared with strangers like you.

“No. I mean, it wasn’t the smartest plan but I was mostly confused when Jieun started to act differently. The others will understand why you did it, too,” he said and while you weren’t as sure as him, he knew his friends more than you did, so you nodded, promising him that you would. But not yet, you weren’t ready yet.

The boys’ suspension gave you some time to think over things, to get prepared for the end of this play and ironically you realized that you were sad that you would never see them again. But it was always supposed to be this way, you weren’t supposed to stay and become a part of their lives or them, a part of yours.

All of you gathered at the Film Club’s room, watching the video Jinyoung had edited during his time away from the material he had found on the memory card in the stolen phone. He covered the victims’ faces but never the bullies, who could be clearly recognized in all of the edited pieces. It was undeniable evidence, it would ruin the current fabolous life of those guys but they deserved it. So you posted it on the school website’s forum and on every major video sharing platform, making it impossible to get it down too easily.

With that done, feeling accomplished, there was nothing else left to do. You gulped nervously, stealing a glance at the boy in his hoodie, his eyes encouraging you as you stood up to face the others.

“I have to tell you something,” you admitted in a higher pitched voice than usual because you were nervous and from then on it was like an avalanche. You rambled about how you didn’t want to lie to them but it was necessary because you knew nothing about your sister and it felt like the only way. Only when everybody stared at you clearly confused, did you realize that you missed the most important bit. “I’m not actually Jieun. I’m her twin sister.”

The shocked silence that followed was expected and you felt bashful under the stares.

“Wait, what? Are you serious?” Hyunsuk broke the silence first, furrowing his brows, looking closer.

“I can’t believe that you guys didn’t notice,” Byounggon scoffed, oh so helpful as always, at which Byeol was quick to retort.

“Of course, we noticed! She even came with me shopping once. Jieun never did that. I just thought that maybe she changed.”

Okay, so far you had to admit it wasn’t as bad as you expected. Jinyoung seemed way more invested in the video statistics than whether you were or weren’t Jieun but Seunghun’s silence was actually scary.

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled, feeling small and guilty but for the first time since you had known him, his warm brown eyes were unkind.

“Did you have fun?” He accused you and you had never seen him so angry. You deserved it though, so you understood it. He was the closest to Jieun after all, he had every right to know what was happening with her, but he didn’t even let you answer, he almost stumbled across the table as he tried to get to you in a hurry.

“Where is she? The real Jieun?” Seunghun asked, desperation dripping from his voice and you tried not to think too much into how protectively Byounggon stood between the two of you when he had seen the other guy lunge towards you.

“Would you like to visit her with me?” You inquired instead of directly answering. Your parents made sure that only family members were allowed into the ward where Jieun was kept, so no matter how mad Seunghun was at you, he couldn’t see her without you.

“We’re all going. She’s our friend,” Byeol claimed and you didn’t argue, just nodded at her.

The bus ride was mostly her and Hyunsuk asking you questions about your real life. It was almost like they tried to get to know you for real. It was ridiculously good for your heart that they took it so well. When you locked eyes with Byounggon accidentally, his knowing look was like an unsaid ‘I told you so’ and you smiled at him, grateful, nevertheless.

When you arrived at the hospital, you could feel the tension in the air. It must have brought back a lot of memories for them. You could see the way Jinyoung stopped in his tracks by the entrance before he cleared his throat.

“I will wait for you guys out here.”

“I will stay with him.” Byounggon offered.

The rest of you went in, finding Jieun just as you had left her last night, on machines, pale and vulnerable. Quietly, you told them about the bridge and what the doctors had said about her chances. You promised you would talk with the hospital, so they could visit Jieun on their own too and at that, Seunghun at least spared a glance at you. Byeol patted you on the shoulder.

“He will forgive you too. He’s just blaming himself for not noticing,” she mouthed.

You glanced at the way Seunghun was looking at your sister and it made so much sense.

So this was it. The dreading end of pretending. You hoped it would end on a happier note, Jieun waking up and taking back her life. But in a way it was fair this way, that you had to step down yourself because you couldn’t pretend anymore and you didn’t know how to be yourself around the guys. If they even wanted you to. You didn’t want to wait to find out the hard way, it would have made no sense. You would eventually have to go back to the UK. You didn’t plan to stay this long in the first place. You had heard your parents talk the other day, that they wouldn’t have thought Jieun would be on machines for so long. You feared that it would be their way of saying that they would let her go but you were glad when it wasn’t the case. Still, it was your mother’s reminder that she didn’t plan to stay afterwards. She had built a new life in Europe for herself and you. But back then, you didn’t have a choice to go or to stay, legally you still couldn’t but now you could stand up for what you wanted more. And what you wanted? It felt so selfish.

You stayed in the hospital until visiting hours ended, so you didn’t expect Byounggon and Jinyoung to still be waiting for you outside. As Seunghun elbowed his way through the friend group's little crowd, Jinyoung followed him quietly, throwing an arm around him supportingly. You thought the others would leave too, without saying goodbye, but Byeol, the always sweetheart, hugged you briefly and waved her goodbye with a little smile before taking her boyfriend’s hand and tugging him towards the bus stop.

You glanced at the boy still standing beside you, his dark eyes haunting but gentle and you didn’t know what to do with yourself. The whole situation was probably the most unfair to him because you wanted to go back to that time at the rooftop and let him kiss you now that you knew that he had figured your lies out by then. But what would it have been good for when you weren’t meant to stay?

“See? It wasn’t that bad,” Byounggon broke the silence and in a way he was right, other than Seunghun, everybody took it pretty well, better than you expected. You still felt guilty though. Towards them, towards Jieun.

“Still, tell them I’m sorry,” you sighed and finding it hard to look him in the eye, you turned to walk in the other direction. You weren’t sure where exactly, just to hide, away.

“Are you going to just disappear?” The boy called after you as if he was reading your mind. He seemed to know you better than anybody despite not knowing much about you at all. It froze your limbs with a heavy feeling.

“Why not? Now you all know where and how Jieun is,” you said, thinking that you didn’t need to explain the obvious. Even if you didn’t get the answers you wanted, at this point you doubted you would this way and they didn’t need a middleman like you either.

“And you think we wouldn’t be worried about you?” Byounggon asked and it sounded so much like an accusation that it made you turn around, to face him.

“I was never supposed to be part of your lives.”

“It’s too late for that,” he retorted, firm and direct, and your lower lip trembled.

You loved your parents but their divorce made you feel like an asset, something to choose, something without a choice itself. Maybe that’s why your life never really felt like yours, just a half of whole. Maybe the reason why you didn’t make lasting friendships was because you were afraid your mom would pack up one day and take you away with her without questions asked. It was ironic that you felt the most at home when you carved yourself into Jieun’s place.

“Stay,” Byounggon whispered and you thought of him sticking by your side in the last weeks, sitting next to you quietly in a convenience store after midnight with a bruise on his cheeks, him still being there. I wish you had come into my life sooner, he had told you, his words still echoing in your ears. He saw you, really you. Not Jieun or the mirror image of her. He saw you for yourself and the relief that washed over you brought tears into your eyes.

When he hugged close, quieting your sobs with the soft material of his worn hoodie, you finally realized: you weren’t alone, not anymore.

For those feeling betrayed by the open end, here are some notes about what happens after this:

Jieun wakes up with Seunghun beside her. Yes, Seunghun is in love with her and she knew, she ignored it on purpose because she thought she didn’t deserve it (I can see them getting together though)

the bullies do get dealt with and using the virality of the video, the gang keeps working on making changes in how bullying is treated as a norm and how stressful is the current education system

MC makes up with her sister (who rolls her eyes whenever she sees her with Byounggon). They go to family therapy though to get through their problems

MC goes back to UK to graduate but comes back to Korea for university to help the gang with their new initiatives

[atiny-turtle]

who will i write about?

boy groups:

ateez

oneus

the boyz

bts

golden child

shinee

cix

p1harmony

txt

monsta x

astro

got7

nct

seventeen

sf9

stray kids

enhypen

girl groups:

red velvet

twice

blackpink

itzy

clc

everglow

aespa

le sserafim

soloists:

hur hyunjun

iu

eric nam

bibi

dpr ian

woodz

saay

sunmi

wonho

[papermatisse]

Into the Woods || Y.HS

† genre: horror, fantasy

† word count: 3.6k

† warnings: death mentions, gaslighting/tricks, abduction, faes

† synopsis: her village had always maintained the peace through fire-and-brimstone fear tactics. though who could've known that old children's fable had some truth to it...

† (a/n): second installment to my spooktober anthology! if you haven't already, do check out biaswreckingfics thrills and chills vent, in particular her fae one which helped me gain inspiration for this one!

† taglist: @scuzmunkie @hipsdofangirl @hydroyaksha

anthology | main masterlist

There had been rumors of the woods bordering the village. Of a great evil which lingered within its brush. Darkness somehow contained in the dense growth of trees that surrounded her people. That ages ago, children would go missing in the night, never to be heard from again. Their ghostly giggles seemed to resonate from the tangle of bark and leaves, luring in unaware or gullible children to their doom.

At least that's what was told to (y/n) and the rest of the children as they grew up. By the time she became a teenager, she had understood the intention of such tales. To deter children from wandering too close to the woods and its inhabitants: wolves, bears, perhaps even a dedicated rabid bunny. All dangers which lurked in their environment, inevitable in their existence, and so the only measure they could take was preventative. Ensure children were within the watchful peripheral of an adult, and therefore safe from nature and its cruelty.

Perhaps that's why she deemed it acceptable to gather the berries by the edge of the woods. It was all just a tall tale to ward off children either way. She was a grown adult now. Fully capable of fending for herself and accepting the consequences of her actions—although she made note to be quick in her foraging.

Pick the berries. Get out. Pick the berries. Get out.

Her mantra cycles listlessly through her head, becoming white noise as she filled her basket with the succulent delicacies she'd later use in her baking. The sun still beamed overhead, indicating the plentiful amount of time she had left of the day to be able to prepare some treats for her siblings.

As if by a grand coincidence, a familiar sound seemed to waltz through the air, greeting her ears with its comforting yet unexpected lilt.

"Nell?" (y/n) called out habitually, whirling around at the sound of her sister's familiar voice. Nothing. No one. The village was a fair distance away, with its usual hustle and bustle a mere muted drone to fill the otherwise still atmosphere. Definitely not close enough for her sister's voice to carry this far.

She waited another moment, eyes scanning the fields as if awaiting for Eleanor to pounce forth and startle her. Yet she was met with silence once more.

Perhaps it was her imagination. Her anxieties from being so near the woods manifesting itself in peculiar forms. Thus, she proceeded with her picking, though in an admittedly rushed manner.

Then, it happened again. Another round of giggles. This time, (y/n) shot to her feet, turning to stare out and await her sister's arrival.

"Nellie," (y/n) attempted to announce, eyes roving over the tall grass. "You know you shouldn't be out here. Mother will be displeased."

Silence.

The first time, she was able to chalk it up to mere paranoia. Though this time, it sounded almost too real to write it off as anything but her mischievous sister mucking about as per usual. However, she's never wandered out this far before in her jests.

Just as (y/n) was about to call her sister's name again, the giggle sounded forth once more. This time, right behind her.

(y/n) spun about, stumbling on her footing as she gasped at the sudden intrusion. Though when she turned, expecting to be greeted with her sister's conniving grin, she was met by none other than the woods, a mere foot away from her.

Memories of that accursed folktale came barreling to the forefront of her mind, twisting her stomach into knots as she stepped away from the trees. Even in the broad daylight, the darkness seemed all encompassing, swallowing anything and everything it seemed to get into its grasp. It was foreboding, an omen that held not even the slightest ounce of allure to (y/n), who continued to retreat from its beckoning.

"(y/n)." The hushed whisper of Eleanor's voice greeted her once more, this time certainly coming from within the woods. Her sister's exact voice. A perfect replica of it.

Again, (y/n) backed away, breath shaky as her shoulders trembled with fear. Any attempt to spot Eleanor peeking behind the trees proved fruitless due to that daunting abyss of black that consumed the woods as a whole.

"Where are you going?" The voice spoke again, a curious lilt in its tone, almost mocking in a way. (y/n) said nothing, steps widening as she kept her eyes trained on the trees.

Another giggle resounded. Gone was its joking undertones, almost entirely alien to the Eleanor she knew.

"You don't want to play?" It was a convoluted ploy, twisting her sister's words until it was a different person entirely. Another deeper voice seemed to intermingle with that of Eleanor's, overlapping in perfect syncrasy with one another.

Another gasp escaped her lips as the gravity of the situation began to truly settle in. The truth of it all dismantling every aspect of her belief system until nothing was left, uprooting her ideology until she questioned everything she once thought true.

Once the giggling began to fade away with distance, (y/n) finally turned around, making a run for the village, not daring to look back for even a moment.

Dinner was as rambunctious as it could be with a family of their caliber. Two young boys laughing and playing with their food, a father who seemed more than willing to partake in their shenanigans, a mother busy nursing the baby in her grasp, and the two eldest daughters off to the side. Eleanor laughed along with the bunch, presumably unbeknownst to her sister's forlorn demeanor since she had gotten back from her berry picking.

Though as they both prepared for bed in their shared room, Eleanor now seemed privy to her sister's silence.

"I didn't see you come back with berries," she began, voice cutting through the quiet of their room. (y/n) curled further into her sheets, attempting to push away the memories of earlier that day. Memories she never wanted to encounter again.

"I changed my mind." Eleanor chuckled at this, the familiar sound sending a shiver down (y/n)'s spine.

"Did the woods scare you off?" It was a joke, a subtle tease to prod at her sister, though at the lack of a response, Eleanor grew more stoic. "(y/n), you can't be serious. We're adults now, you should know fully well there's nothing in those woods. In all my years of living here, I've never once heard a wolf howl of any sort."

"It's not the wolves I fear," (y/n) muttered, burying her face into her pillow. Eleanor was stunned into silence for a moment, but then choked out another bout of laughs.

"Are you telling me you're scared of the fae? The story they'd tell us as kids to make us behave?" (y/n) was reluctant to respond, though this didn't deter Eleanor in the slightest. "(y/n), if it bothers you so much, allow me to go tomorrow and retrieve—"

"No." (y/n) was now sat up, staring at her sister across the room from her. The sternness in her voice shocked Eleanor, her smile slowly fading as she saw the pure, unadulterated fear lying beneath (y/n)'s gaze. "We're not going anywhere near those woods. Never again."

Days seemed to pass by without any other phenomenal hindrance. Though the memory of that day plagued her mind, and that sinister voice seemed to haunt her dreams, (y/n) continued with her life, however weary as she was. Her body was wrought with fear and it was beginning to take its effect. From simple mistakes accumulating into one big mess, it was clear (y/n) was not in her prime. Though there was nothing more she could do, what with this suffocating paranoia all but penetrating her every waking thought.

Her nightmares were as vivid as could be, and seemingly always followed the same sequence. (y/n) walking mindlessly into the brush, pushing aside branches and weaving between the trees which seemingly sprung up in her very path. And she continuously walked forth, as if on a predetermined trail ingrained in her mind. All the while, she could feel it—its stare. It watched her all throughout her journey, never sparing her a moment to herself. Suffocating her with its overbearing presence.

And at the end of her walk, her skin marred with scratches by twigs and rocks along the way, heart beating out of her chest, she'd step into a clearing. A grove of sorts. Dark and eerie, much like the rest of the woods, a canopy of dense branches overhead sparing only a few beams of sunlight into the ground. But in those rays of light, she'd see it approaching.

It took the form of a man, tall with long strides as he came forth. Handsome with deep eyes staring right into her, yet boyish features in a feeble attempt to lower her defenses. But no matter how fortified she made herself to be, it never seemed to do much once he got her.

A hand on her neck, squeezing in such a way that he could feel her pulse beating helplessly beneath his fingers and her breath growing frantic at the sudden obstruction. He contorted his body forward, crowding over her, consuming her space until there was nothing between them. A sickeningly sweet smile spread across his face, eyes manic as he laughed and he laughed and he laughed. A raucous crescendo into a deranged cackle, seizing at her every thought with its maniacal grasp.

And he'd keep her right there in that state, feeling her sanity slip away as she remained detained in his clutches for all the hours of the night. Taunting her, as if holding out her death, her sweet release from this torment, for another time. A time where he can truly have her all to himself.

Her nights were restless, her days vigilant, and at the end of it all, (y/n) was beginning to collapse in on herself. This was quite evident to her sister, the one who spent perhaps the most time with (y/n) in the first place, and as much as she tried to help, there was nothing she could do to derail her from this unending darkness she found herself collapsing into. All she could do was silently support her sister with reassurances and assistance—as much help as she could offer.

Though it was at times like these where the sisters' differences were truly apparent, and as (y/n) prepared dinner for the bunch, the barren absence of her sibling truly became apparent. With the lack of a helper in the cooking, (y/n) began worrying of where Eleanor may have run off to.

The paranoia only seemed to heighten as the table was set and the family was seated, all except the one chair across from (y/n). They were all understandably worried, though attempted to write it off as perhaps Eleanor getting caught up with something else. Perhaps a friend had invited her over and Eleanor forgot to inform the rest of them. Or maybe she was out helping one of her neighbors with a task.

But with the truth of the woods lingering perpetually in the recesses of (y/n)'s mind, she couldn't be sure of anything.

That night, (y/n) didn't sleep. She waited for her sister's arrival, something which never happened that night. And upon daybreak, (y/n) was certain this disappearance was the work of the nefarious evil of the woods. It was a certainty in her head.

However hesitant she was, the grief of having lost her sister consumed any ounce of reason or doubt within her, and with a brief farewell note upon the dining room table, she set out to seek Eleanor.

Along the way, neighbors gave brief but otherwise useless accounts of when they'd last seen her. The farmer's account validated each of (y/n)'s suspicions and fears.

"I'd seen her walk by the other day with a basket, heading out towards the fields. Didn't see her after."

Approaching the woods felt like visiting her recurring nightmares personally, yet no matter how real they seemed, they were nothing as compared to the true scene of it all.

A wall of trees towered over her, and at their feet lay that humble, lonesome berry bush. Beside it was both her basket she had abandoned long ago, somewhat tattered due to the natural elements it had faced over the past few days, as well as her sister's basket, toppled over with her picked berries pooling out and onto the grass.

The thought was bittersweet, guilt already riddling her body at the mere prospect that Eleanor may have gotten swallowed up by the woods whilst attempting to appease (y/n). As if the whole series of events they'd gone through were a result of her alone, yet as she neared the border of the woods, she knew it was not solely her doing.

She could feel her heart begin its tiresome beat, thudding violently against her ribcage. Her breathing was shaky as she stood there, a mere step away from the trees. Her feet seemed cemented to the ground where she stood, unable to back away nor finally break the threshold before her. Every fiber of her being screamed at her to turn back, to flee from these woods at all costs, but there was that debilitating guilt brewing within her. How could she live with herself if her sister truly did die in there?

Perhaps it was the guilt, or perhaps it was some blinding hubris which made her crave something from these trees—vindication, answers, release. Whatever it may be, the reason held her with an iron grip, and she remained where she stood, waiting; perhaps for some invitation of sorts.

"(y/n)..." the shaky voice of her sister alerted (y/n), a cold dread sinking into her being at the sound of Eleanor's voice—or more so that of a feeble replication of her voice… from right in front of her. As if she were speaking face to face with her sister. "(y/n), you came back for me."

The dense and dark brush obscured any attempts to see what stood before her, though the proximity of it had shivers running down her spine, tears pricking at her waterline at the sheer horror of it all. She remained silent, wary of whatever spectacle was being tried to lure her in. She could only compare the use of her sister's identity as something akin to a puppeteer exploiting its dolls. As if a mere guise for its audience.

It wasn't trying to lure her in anymore. It was taunting her.

Beneath the low whistle of the winds and the rustling on leaves all around, she could hear an unsettling yet rather distinct sound that made her blood grow cold. The deep and unmistakable sound of a man breathing, coinciding with whimpers of Eleanor's voice. Like he was only further proving her point of this whole charade being nothing more than a cruel mockery of her situation.

The noises grew more distant, sinking into the all encompassing embrace of the woods, daring her to enter alongside them. To finally become one with the woods and its victims—victims like her sister.

(y/n) took a tentative step forward, raising a weak arm above her to push aside the curtain of branches which concealed what lay ahead, and as she delved into the woods for the first, and perhaps the last time, she felt her world warp and twist into a demented wonderland of sorts. The trees, which from the beginning towered above her, seemed to only loom taller in their imposing stature. Shadows seemed to deepen into inky black pools of nothing all around her. Rustling leaves took on sinister murmurs, as if carrying along with it the voices of countless victims lost in these woods, as well as beckoning whispers to come further into the forest.

Her steps echoed with a hollow sound, reality seeming to distort with the discordant and ominous melody surrounding her. The further in she ventured, the more overpowering her fears seemed to become until its blinding and all encompassing existence had become the one thing she could fixate on. Her body prickled with nerves, a cool numbness tingling her skin as she willed her feet along, acutely aware of unseen eyes which probed her from the dark depths of the trees.

The air seemed to grow colder and colder, and she wasn't sure whether the trembles taking over her body were from her fear or the sudden temperature drop. Though there wasn't much room for thought, as obscure, yet ever so familiar, glimpses of the fae creature plagued the recesses of her mind, growing stronger and more vivid the further along she got, as if confirming the route she took. His malevolent grin flashed across her mind, shivering at the array of teeth ready to devour her, tormenting her as she progressed along.

Her breathing had slowly become unstable as she walked, the realization truly hitting her when she briefly turned around, only to have no idea where she had come from. What path she had taken mere steps before where she currently resided. As if the woods were swallowing her whole, refusing to ever let her slip by. And unwillingly, she proceeded forward into the never ending labyrinth, her mind somehow knowing exactly what to look out for.

It came sooner rather than later. The sudden clearing in the midst of it all. A small, unassuming grove of sorts, bordered by the impenetrable wall of trees that shrouded its existence from the rest of the world. There was an oppressive, deafening silence—a troubling realization for a forest of all things. Yet it didn't last long, as a low and distinct humming pierced through the stillness of the atmosphere, prompting her body to freeze up on the spot. It was melodic, dripping with a cruel and feigned saccharine that seemed to creep all about her.

Soon enough, he emerged. Tall as her dreams had portrayed him, with ethereal features unlike any she's seen before. His eyes were dark with an unmistakable edge that had haunted her dreams for many nights. His lips tugged into a smile as he stepped out of the shadows, and the full sight of him had (y/n) gasping. Tears welled up in her eyes at the image presented of the fae that had been targeting her. Watching her and tormenting her, driving her completely and utterly insane.

His dark eyes gleamed with a mischievous, unholy light, fixating upon her with an unsettling mixture of what seemed to be pure amusement and… hunger.

"(y/n)," he spoke, his smooth and deep timbre fitting perfectly with the rest of his personage, calling to her with his deceivingly sweet voice. "You've finally come to me."

His strides were wide as they carried him directly to her, and she was left to gawk up at him with whatever remaining bravado she may have had in her. His hands trembled as they carefully took in her loose hair, squeezing the strands between his fingers.

"I've been waiting… for so long." He leant down into her shoulder in an abrupt and aggressive manner. The sharp inhale he took had (y/n) jumping in her spot, tears freely falling down her face as he finally stepped back to stare at her, and she finally got to see him upfront for the first time. Making direct eye contact with the abomination of the woods.

His laughter burst forth in a raucous and chaotic way that had her wincing away as much as she could. Though the sounds soon dissipated as he opted on brushing her head with his large hand.

"Oh, your sister… Such a pity." He smiled again, eyes darting about to every square inch of her face, almost admiring her as one would an artwork.

"My… sister?" (y/n)'s voice was broken and mangled, barely above a whisper, though loud enough in the still quiet of the woods. He grinned at her words, a fond and appreciative smile that had her pulse quickening at the mere sight of it.

"Her fate was sealed the moment she ventured into my woods."

(y/n) felt her heart shatter at the news, throat constricting upon itself as she shut her eyes and openly wept. Her body seized in on itself, near the point of collapse had it not been for the fae who forcibly kept her standing upright against him.

"A useless thing, but her sacrifice was necessary for our meeting." Again, his voice was filled with such gentle kindness that it made her utterly sick to her stomach. The grief of losing her sister seemed the primary emotion wrecking her from within, to the point that the reality of her situation had yet to truly sink in, even as the fae continued to ravel himself around her until there was no way of escaping his grasp. "Don't worry, my precious, I won't hurt you like I did her."

He brushed away the tears staining her cheeks, ignoring the new streaks that replaced them either way, merely smiling down at (y/n) without a single care in the world.

"What are you going to do to me?" She asked, voice wavering with every syllable as her body shook with tremors. And the fae just continued with his merry demeanor, unperturbed by her clear dismay and debilitating terror.

"There are fates much worse than that of death. You've stepped into my domain. And now… you're mine forever."

[minhoskofi]

chapter 4: in and out

warnings: smut :)

word count: 1.3k

masterlist

As the months passed, you and Byounggon continued to grow closer, your bond deepening with each day. The unspoken understanding between you felt so natural, and you reveled in the comfort and joy that came with being by his side.

However, there was a question that you couldn’t get off your mind. Despite the undeniable connection and the way you both already acted like a couple, there had never been an official conversation about your relationship. It wasn't that you doubted Byounggon’s feelings or commitment, but the absence of a clear definition left you longing for something more concrete.

One afternoon, as you lay on the couch behind Gon in his music studio, the question burned in your chest. Unable to contain your thoughts any longer, you mustered the courage to confront him, seeking clarity about where you both stood.

"Goni?”, you began hesitantly, “We've been together for months now, and I can't help but wonder... What exactly are we? Are we...like, a couple?"

Byounggon turned to face you, confusion evident in his eyes. He got up from his desk, coming to stand in front of you. He gently placed his hands on your thighs, his face hovering just inches from yours, his warm breath caressing your skin.

His voice sounded sincere, "Sorry if I never made it clear. It didn't even cross my mind because being with you feels so right, so natural. But if you need that official label, then…" 

Without another word, Gon leaned in, capturing your lips in an ever so passionate kiss. His hands moved from your thighs to cradle your face, deepening the kiss, as if trying to convey all the emotions that words could not express.

The question of your relationship status faded into insignificance. The intensity of the kiss and the way your man held you spoke loud enough about the depth of your connection. 

As the kiss broke, Byounggon with a shy yet endearing smile, found the courage to speak, "Well…I mean, if you want... could you, uh… will you officially be my girlfriend?", he rapped out the last few words and buried his face in the crook of your neck in embarrassment. 

You couldn't help but smile at his adorable shyness, and with a soft chuckle, you replied, "Yes, Gon, I'd love to officially be your girlfriend.", almost mockingly. 

As Byounggon immersed himself in the creation of his track again, the rhythmic beats and melodies filled the air, leaving you with a boredom that begged for distraction. 

Deciding to entertain yourself and perhaps add a playful interruption to his creative process, you approached him.

Teasingly, you traced light patterns on his back, the gentle touch breaking through the intensity of his focus. Leaving a trail of seductive kisses along his neck and jawline, you couldn't help but revel in the warmth of his skin beneath your lips.

Byounggon, feeling the unexpected caresses, found himself torn between two thoughts, “Is this how you show me your support or are you trying to turn me on… because it’s working.”

But as your advances persisted his concentration reached a breaking point. With a mischievous glimmer in your eyes, your fingers deftly played with the buckle of his belt, the metallic clasp yielding to your touch. The sound of the buckle coming undone echoed in the room.

“So that’s how we’re playing…” Unable to resist any longer, Byounggon seized control of the situation. He turned away from his laptop, and captured your lips in a fierce and demanding kiss. 

With every kiss, every touch, the intensity grew and your hands roamed freely over each other's bodies, exploring every curve and crevice with a feverish urgency, “Was this what you wanted?” Byounggon managed to mutter in between your lips.

Without giving him a verbal answer, your fingers reached for the hem of your shirt, slowly inching it upwards, revealing tantalizing glimpses of your bare skin.

Gon's gaze intensified, his breath hitching as he watched the fabric slide over your chest, exposing the curve of your breasts. As your shirt fell to the floor, Byounggon wasted no time. His hands moved with a sense of purpose, his fingers tracing the outline of your body, sending shivers of anticipation down your spine. He unhooked your bra, releasing your breasts, and the cool air caressed your skin.

With a hunger in his eyes, Gon's hands moved lower, his fingers undoing the button of your pants. The fabric slid down your legs, pooling around your ankles, leaving you standing there in nothing but lacy panties.

A playful smile danced on your lips as you reached for Byounggon's shirt, your fingers eagerly unbuttoning it one by one. The fabric parted, revealing his chest.

Your hands roamed his bare skin, tracing muscles, feeling the warmth radiating from his body and you pushed the shirt off his shoulders, letting it fall to the ground, forgotten.

Byounggon's hands now found their way to your hips. He hooked his fingers into the waistband of your panties, tugging them down slowly, his eyes never leaving yours, “Fuck me silly, Gon”, the words fall out of your mouth before you could stop them.

“Patience, princess. Not before I taste you first”, Byounggon spoke against your skin as his mouth left gentle kisses down your core. The tip of his tongue lingered, drawing slow, sensuous circles over your clit, each rotation sending ripples of pleasure coursing through your body. His touch was deliberate and precise, building your arousal to dizzying heights. 

As the circles tightened, his tongue applied a gentle but persistent pressure, intensifying the stimulation on your clit. Waves of pleasure washed over you, making your body arch and writhe with an insatiable hunger for more.

“You’re so fucking wet for me”, Byounggon's tongue moved in a rhythm that matched the quickening pace of your breath and the growing urgency of your moans. 

As his tongue delved deeper, you felt the waves of pleasure crashing over you, building with every flick and every swirl. Your moans of ecstasy filled the room and the wet heat of his mouth enveloped you, “Please Gon, I need you inside me”, you breathed out, your voice filled with a desperate longing.

The words hung in the air, Byounggon’s gaze met yours, a wild intensity burning in his eyes as he settled himself between your legs, his hands gripping your hips possessively. 

"Be a good girl now," he whispered, his voice laced with a mixture of raw need and determination.

As he slid impatiently into you, a gasp escaped your lips, the sensation of him filling you completely sent waves of pleasure throughout your body. You wrapped your legs around him, pulling him closer, urging him to go deeper.

“Shit, Goni-”, almost inaudible words spill from your lips. Each thrust was pushing you closer to the edge.

"Fuck,” Byounggon groaned, “you feel so good," he kept sliding in and out of you while leaving sloppy kisses along your jawline down your neck, the tightness of you just perfect to his liking.

Your moans mingled with his, creating a symphony of pleasure that filled the studio. "Harder," you pleaded, your voice filled with urgency, "I want all of you." Byounggon complied, his movements becoming more intense and fervent.

"Gon, I'm so close," you whimpered desperately. 

"Let go, baby," he encouraged, "Come for me."

Your grip on him tightened, your walls squeezing him so intensely that he too could no longer hold back. With a final, powerful thrust, he succumbed to the overwhelming pleasure, finding release within you.

The room filled with breathless moans of satisfaction. As you both came down from , your orgasms, your bodies still intertwined, Byounggon's voice filled the air. "That was incredible," he murmured, "I can't get enough of you."

previous chapter next: chapter 5

[blossominghunnie]

𝐒𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞!

Pairing: Yoon Hyunsuk x fem!reader

Genre: Fluff, established relationship, smau + written

Summary: Hyunsuk thinks you couldn’t see him on his birthday, the truth is you’re organizing him a surprise party.

Warning: None

Notes: I finally wrote my bub an imagine. 🤭❤️ Happy b-day to the loml. ❤️

The timer of the oven went off, Y/n put her phone on the kitchen counter and grabbed a towel to take the two molds out.

She stacked them and started decorating, She wrote a ‘Happy Birthday, bubs 🤍’ on the center.

Y/n wasn't a professional baker but liked baking certain pastries since she was a teen. It was a hobby she enjoyed.

When she finished, she placed it carefully on a white box that had a ribbon. She took her bag, phone and car keys and walked out of the door, making sure to lock her apartment.

Then entered the elevator that went to the underground parking lot.

She opened the trunk and put the cake inside.

After that she entered the car, and put her bag on the passengers seat. Y/n connected her phone to the Bluetooth, and Sunshower by Epex started playing.

With that, she began her journey towards her boyfriend's dorm which was only 10 minutes away.

He certainly was gonna be surprised, because the last thing he knew was that she had a huge project she had to submit the next day and that was why she couldn't hang out.

Once she arrived, she parked right in front of the building. She took all of her things and entered the place.

She hopped on the elevator and went up to the 4th floor.

The doors opened and she bounced towards the familiar door. She knocked and a smiley Seunghun opened it.

“Y/n! You’re just on time.” He let her in and took the box.

“Thanks. I’m glad, I thought I was going to be late because of the cake. It took me longer to decorate it than I anticipated.” She set her bag on the couch. “Hi, Gon.” The girl greeted the older as soon as she saw him coming out of the kitchen.

“Hey, Y/nnie.” He smiled at her. “Baejin just told me they’ll be here in 20 minutes.”

“Okaay. Do you guys need help with anything?”

“Not really. We just finished decorating and the food is almost ready.”

“Oh, okay.”

The three of them sat on the living room coach and conversed for a while until Byounggon’s phone dinged.

“They’re on the elevator.”

“I’ll go hide. Don’t snitch on me.” She giggled and pointed playfully at them. Both of her friends laughed and nodded.

She ran to the nearest closet and closed the door just in time for the principal door to open.

“Happy birthday, Hyunsukie!” She heard the boys yell.

“Thanks, guys! What’s all of this?”

“Just as a small surprise party for our sweet maknae.” Gon responded.

“Okaaay.” Hyunsuk thought there was something going on since the leader sounded a little bit nervous and sweeter than usual but brushed it off.

“Come sit, we made your favorite.” Seunghun sounded like a mother, which, honestly, was so cute.

Y/n heard footsteps leaving the area she was in. As she heard chairs being dragged, she thought it was time to come out.

She tiptoed her way towards her boyfriend. Four out of five guys knew of her presence and were trying so hard not to laugh or being suspicious.

She put her hands over his eyes making him smile.

“Hyung, what do you think you’re doing?” He laughed.

“It’s not me, Sukie.” Yonghee giggled.

“Oh. Is it…” He touched her hands. “Y/n?” He sounded confused.

“Maaaybe.”

He turned around and when he saw her his face lit up.

“Sweetie!” He got up and hugged her tightly.

“Hi baby, happy birthday.” She had a fond look on her face.

“Thank you, love.” He still held her. “W-what are you doing here? I thought you had that very important project for tomorrow.”

“There was never a project, bubs. I needed time to make your gift” She didn’t reveal what it was. “And did you really think I wasn’t going to be with you on your birthday?”

“I thought it was weird since we always celebrate it together but understood that you were busy.”

“Oh my god, you’re so precious.” He giggled and turned red. Y/n hugged him tighter.

“I have go get your gift but I don’t want to let you go.” The girl spoke as she looked into his eyes with a pout.

“We can cuddle afterwards, love.”

“Okay, I accept.” They laughed softly.

Hyunsuk stopped holding her and she walked to the kitchen and took the cake out of the fridge.

She looked for candles and a lighter. She placed them on the top and lit them.

She returned to the dinning room with the dessert on her hands, a huge smile on her face. And placed it in front of her boyfriend.

They all sang Happy Birthday to the birthday boy while he thought how lucky he was to have that group of people in his life.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

Cix masterlist || Main masterlist

[restlessmaknae]

never forever [jinyoung]

Just as much as you would have liked to delude yourself into thinking that you could have anything together with prince Jinyoung, it would be simply impossible as long as you were a servant and he was a prince. Which meant that you could never do so.

➳ Characters: prince!Jinyoung x female court lady!reader/you

➳ Genre: romance, angst, fantasy, magical realism, kingdom au

➳ Words: 11.8k

➳ Warning: mentions of minor character deaths, poison, political tension, attacks

➳ A/N: This story had the most votes in my poll, so I hope it lives up to your expectations. 🥰 It can be read on its own or with Seunghun's story that took place before this one. ❤️

➳ CIX taglist: @wccycc, @dat-town

When you had been younger, your favourite word had been ‘forever’. Warmth had always invaded your heart when you thought of this particular word, and how your parents had promised each other that they would love each other forever. Your mother had told you multiple times too that her love was not only infinite towards your father but you as well. Forever was like a precious friend to you, a little gem that you would try to keep safe as much as you could, holding it close to your heart, holding it dear.

Then, forever had turned to never when your mother had died. When you had realised that you would never see her again, your world had shattered, the little gem slipping through your fingers, falling to the ground and breaking into tiny pieces. Even though your father had reassured you that your mother would love you even from the spirit realm, you hadn’t been convinced because forever had seemed so far away. You had decided that it was stupid to have a word that didn’t make sense. After all, forever didn’t exist.

You had been 6 at that time. Your mother had been a lady-in-waiting to the Queen at the royal palace, so you hadn’t seen her during the week, only on the weekend. You had spent your days at home reading books and practising writing while your father had been teaching his pupils in a different room. He had been a great scholar, teaching those at your home who could not afford the institutions he had taught at most of the time. For some time, you had resented the royal family for keeping your mother away from you when you had known all too well that your mother had been deeply grateful for the royal court for providing her with a high status job and a very decent pay that allowed her to shower you in gifts.

On the other hand, when your mother had died, and the court had organised your mother a funeral, more glorious (thus more heart-wrenching) than you could have ever imagined, your feelings had completely changed. When the Queen had come up to you afterwards and lowered herself down to be at eye-level with you (disregarding the gasps from the court ladies around her, warning her of her dress potentially becoming smudged because of the muddy ground), your tears had fallen even more fervently. You had wanted nothing more than to hide during the ceremony, so to be seen and acknowledged by the Queen herself brought on a handful of different emotions.

“When I was around your age, I also lost my mother. I thought of it as a great shame on top of being a great loss. A young girl growing up without a mother? I thought people wouldn’t take me seriously, they wouldn’t look at me for who I am, they would always see the girl without a mother,” she had shared, and you had watched her with tears streaming down your face, your mouth slightly agape. You hadn’t heard of the Queen losing her mother at such a young age, but you had been young, and your parents hadn’t told you stories about the royal family back then.

“And they did?” You had asked between little sobs that reverberated through your body.

The Queen had given you a gentle smile, and you had wondered if all mothers smiled the same - so lovingly, so forgivingly, so reassuringly. Her smile hadn’t been exactly like your mother’s, but you could feel the genuine affectionate behind the delicate curve of her lips, something that mirrored your own mother’s. The kind of smile that parents gave you when you admitted that you did something wrong, but all that mattered to them was that you were safe and sound.

“No,” she had shaken her head. “I proved them wrong, and I showed them what I can do regardless of what happened. You can do, too,” she had added so confidently that your little heart had welcomed the undeniable hope that her words had brought along, newfound warmth spreading through your veins until you had realised that…

“But… I am not a royal.”

“Where you come from doesn’t matter, whether you have a positive impact on just one person or a whole nation doesn’t matter either. You are valuable as you are,” the Queen had pointed out, her words like a wise scholar’s. You had just blinked at her, wide-eyed and amazed, and you hadn’t even realised that you had stopped crying in the meantime, you had been so focused on what she had been saying.

You had been so awestruck that you couldn’t have spoken up, and you didn’t remember whether it had been what had prompted the Queen to bid her goodbye or she had been told by her court ladies to presume her duties for the day, but you remembered one thing very clearly.

That day, you had decided that you would have a positive impact on the Queen’s life, and you would try to be there for her just as much as she had been there for you at that time. So when a year later, the royal court had announced that they would hold their annual recruitment day for new servants, you had applied.

You had read every book on royal etiquette, you had learned embroidery, sewing and all sorts of activities that might be tested during the recruitment process in that year, determined on making the cut. You hadn’t even been the youngest candidate, there had been girls as young as 5 trying to secure a future for themselves (or more like pressured by their families), but you had been dedicated for a different reason: to serve the royal family and to repay them for all they had done for your family including sending your mother on her last journey so graciously.

Even though you hadn’t succeeded on the first try, you had done so a year later. Since then, you had been trying to live up to your mother’s memory, hoping that she would be proud of how you were serving the royal family, living to make their lives as comfortable as possible, living for them.

Little did you know, one day, that would be the exact same reason you would feel so torn to fall in love.

The first few years at the palace, you spent learning. Then, you applied what you learned. Then, you practised everything over and over again until you wouldn’t make a mistake. Finally, as years went by, your service to the palace became a valuable treasure, an important part of the operations. Your loyalty and diligence meant that you were keen on doing the best you could, and your perseverance didn’t waver even in hard times.

However, no matter the many lessons and learnings during those years, the greatest teacher and the dearest compliment you could get for your hard work was when you could upgrade your rank. After 15 years of service and being over the age of 20 meant that you could rightfully start serving one of the royal family members directly or one of those who stayed at the palace. For instance, a few girls who were at the congratulatory ceremony beside you would assist the royalty that were visiting the palace from time to time, and two of those now stayed beside a princess who came from a kingdom further up north, who was currently spending her time in exile at your court. Due to the trade agreements and favourable business partnerships, it wasn’t uncommon to provide a shelter or a hiding place for those who came from different kingdoms, but couldn’t stay in their own residence for whatever reason.

You, on the other hand, were assigned to the Queen herself, and even though you would never brag about your conversation with the Queen at your mother’s funeral ceremony, you knew that the smile she gave you when she handed you your new gown and your matching hairpin - engraved with a lotus symbol for prosperity and a dragon mimicking the ones that guarded the palace for safety - was telling tales about her positive feelings towards your future services.

After an elderly lady-in-waiting had passed away, two female servants took her place including you. You knew that you were still fairly young compared to the other court ladies, but you had been serving at the palace for so long already, and you excelled at every task they had given you. You knew though that the major reason that you had been assigned to the Queen was because you could read and write well, something that would be needed to discreetly handle the letters the Queen received and sent.

However, following the Queen almost everywhere meant that you had more interactions with the other royal family members and those who were close to them - soldiers in higher up ranks, master magicians and magical creature tamers. In passing by, you caught glimpses of the royal family members while serving them in the past years, but that couldn’t be compared to the experience of being in the same room with them, to see them from up-close.

When you first accompanied the Queen to the practise field where prince Jinyoung was receiving his training, you realised that he still lived in your memories as someone around your height with a cheeky smile when he was running around the court, making his nannies run after him, and you were taken aback by his height and his built now. He was tall and slender, but when he reached his sword out to attack, his muscles clearly showed through the thin fabric he wore. Drops of sweat rolled down his cheeks while he was concentrating, and his features were solemn and hard.

His practice partner was Seunghun - a soldier you saw around the court frequently. Rumour had it that he was courting one of the medics, but you didn’t know whether to believe that because all sorts of gossip were flying around. Besides, others’ love life was none of your business, but since you and Seunghun had joined the court around the same time, you knew him and his way of talking to the ladies - all smooth and flirtatious. He had that cheekiness to him even when he was younger, no wonder he was on good terms with the prince.

The Queen halted by the side of the field, and you did, too, a few steps away from her. The prince and the soldier were so engrossed in their practice battle that they didn’t even take notice of her presence until they finished with their round of sword fight, Seunghun coming out as the winner.

“What is the purpose of today’s practice?” The Queen raised her voice, confident and unwavering, while looking at the boys. Seunghun didn’t fail to bow upon seeing her, but his grin was still a bit cocky when he helped the prince to his feet.

“Just some… friendly duel, Your Majesty,” he answered joyfully, and he patted the prince’s shoulder when prince Jinyoung straightened up. “Even if he were to be seriously hurt, one of our great medics would tend to his wounds,” he added in a friendly manner, but you could hear the Queen’s voice hardening when she spoke up.

“Not so much if he can help it himself.”

“Of course,” the soldier’s smile faded immediately, and he bowed his head apologetically. Prince Jinyoung tensed a bit beside his friend, but his eyes were trained on his mother, not on his friend. You didn’t spend enough time around him to tell what his eyes could show, but you had a feeling that he wasn’t that delighted about the Queen’s words. If your assumption about his power was right, you knew why.

“Well then, keep going,” the Queen made a waving gesture with her hands, indicating that they could move on, and turned on her heels to head back to the palace. You bowed to the prince and soldier alongside the other servants, signalling your departure.

Afterwards, you waited for the older ladies to follow suit as they were the first to follow behind, you were supposed to be the last as you were the youngest one. Even though your rank was the same as theirs, age order was still important.

You took a few steps forward when you felt your hair loosen, and you instinctively reached for the back of your neck, gasping when you couldn’t feel your hairpin. You were about to turn around just at the same time as a figure slid into your vision, and put your lotus and dragon carved hairpin into your hands. It was for the briefest of a second, so was his rough touch, but you felt like you could feel the ghost of it on your skin even after he yanked it away.

Your eyes frantically went to the figure’s face, and you were about to open your mouth to thank him, but he put his index finger on his lips. Why couldn’t you thank prince Jinyoung for helping you out? Why wouldn’t you?

You were so baffled by his indication that words died on the tip of your tongue, and he was out of your reach as quickly as he ran up to you, so there was no way you could go after him. You were already behind the other servants, so you needed to catch up to them.

However, as you were hurrying after them, you looked back at the field, the prince and the soldier already in another round of a fight, no remains of the recent incident, only the ghost of his touch on your hand and the mystery in his pitch-black eyes when he handed you your hairpin.

In a magical kingdom like yours, you were grateful that you could be of help to the royal family even though you didn’t possess magic. The magic in your kingdom lied in healing, hence there were two types of medicine in your kingdom: magical and non-magical medicine. Magical medicine was mostly used on the members of the royal court including the royal family and the royal army, plus magical creatures that lived in the woods or in the mountains - such as fairies, unicorns and such - or serving the kingdom - such as dragons guarding the palace.

Non-magical medicine, on the other hand, was used on humans to treat their wounds, and that was what most medics practised outside of the palace, though it was applicable at the court as well in non-emergency cases and subtle illnesses. Magical medicine was also extremely rare since only magical practitioners could deal with it because they were the ones born with the ability to tame magic, but even they needed thorough practice and extensive training to be able to make use of their abilities to their full potential. Magical medics were also almost exclusively serving at the palace. The royal family was also said to be possessing magic in their veins, though they didn’t have to use it on themselves because the most powerful magicians were already in their court, serving them.

Neither of your ancestors had magic, so it was unlikely that you would, but having a scholar as a father and a royal servant as a mother meant that you knew that you could use other skills and strengths to your advantage, so you never felt any less than those who were born with magic. You were merely in awe at what some people could do, and when you could see for yourself how magical medics worked at the palace, you were mesmerised. Even if the Queen had a headache, not a physical injury, all the medic needed to do was place their hands above her core - the centre of her energy - and she was healed, though advised rest for the night.

For that reason, you could leave the Queen’s chamber earlier than usual after helping her to bed, and while the rest of the ladies were heading to their own rooms in the courtyard, you were staying back to stroll around the garden that separated the palace from the court. A part of the garden was reserved for the royal family only, but the other was accessible by everyone, and you liked walking around the pond dotted with a palette of colours, a different type of fish hiding behind each distinctly shaped creature, water lilies breaking the smooth surface of the water and lanterns lighting up the sideways like little stars on the sky.

When you walked these parts of the palace, you wondered if your mother had been the same. She hadn’t really talked about her time at the palace - what she was doing when she wasn’t on duty, how the place looked like and what was her favourite part of the court -, if she did, she only talked about the Queen and her admiration towards the woman. Ever since being part of the court though, you couldn’t help but imagine your mother walking down the same path, looking at the little bridge connecting the path to a pavilion as you did now, walking the same corridors and feeling the same sense of belonging as you did now.

“I hope you’re proud of me, mother,” you mumbled to the dark sky above you that seemed like a blanket covering the palace grounds, your words carried away by the gentle breeze of this fine spring night. You hoped that she was at peace in the spirit realm, and looked over you fondly. No matter how many years had passed by, there was still a part of you that missed her.

With a resigned sigh, you looked down at the pond in front of you, and decided to leave. However, as you were about to walk back, you crossed paths with prince Jinyoung who seemed to be walking around as well. You were surprised that he was alone, no soldiers guarding him, but maybe he had time to himself at these late hours just like the Queen did after you left her in her chambers.

“Your Highness,” you greeted him immediately, bowing out of respect. When you straightened your back, you looked up at the prince, and he was already looking at you, his deep, dark eyes boring into yours. It seemed that he was about to say something, but he changed his mind, and pressed his lips into a thin line. You blinked up at him, uncertain what to do or what to say for it was scarce that you were alone with a royal family member. In fact, it was the first time that it was just the two of you, and the thought sent a shiver down your spine.

“Are you done for the day?” Prince Jinyoung broke the silence after clearing his throat, and your heart was both heavy and light upon his question. You didn’t know what you had expected him to say or if you had expected anything, but his inquiry still caught you off-guard. In a positive way.

“Yes, Your Highness.”

He bobbed his head, acknowledging your words, and you had a feeling that he wanted to say something but couldn’t this time either. Or maybe it was because he seemed so out of reach usually; the mighty, ethereal prince Jinyoung who was said to be cool-headed and reasonable, a great fighter and a hard-worker in whatever he did. He was said to excel in everything, making him the perfect heir to the throne. From a young age, he had the watching eyes of the people, the weight of the kingdom’s future on his shoulders, and a responsibility that could crush anyone, let alone a boy so young. In passing, he had always seemed so composed, knowing exactly what to do and what to say, and you had heard only good things about him.

On the other hand, he seemed so humane now. A human being searching for the right words to say with secrets in his heart and mysteries in his eyes. Libraries of tales were about him, but when he was standing there in front of you in his white royal attire, he seemed nothing more than a boy around your age. The thought soothed your nerves and scared you at the same time.

You shouldn’t look at him that way, you work for the royal family after all.

“Well then…” You broke the silence that fell upon the two of you, bringing him out of whatever stupor he was under. “Good night, Your Highness!” You bowed yet again, ready to continue your walk to the court.

Nonetheless, before you were out of hearing range, the prince spoke up, though his eyes weren’t trained on you, but on the pond in front of him.

“Your mother would be proud.”

The words made you halt and turn to the prince who was examining the water as if he was pondering how to describe the sight properly. The lanterns lit up the way of the footpath, and amongst them, one was shining directly onto him, and now with you in the shadows of a nearby tree, and him in the light, you wondered how the two of you from two different worlds could be having this conversation now.

“How… How do you know about my mother?” You blinked in confusion. You didn’t believe that he could have heard you before, but maybe he could.

“You are not the only one who likes to go to the pond late at night,” he replied without any shame or any cheekiness in his voice as he turned towards you, and even though you were further away than before, you could see the end of his lips curling upwards. Before you could grasp onto this moment though, the prince turned on his heel and walked towards the pavilion, walking away from you and from the light that was shining onto him.

Afterwards, it happened a few more times that you and prince Jinyoung met in the garden, around the pond. Truthfully, when you hadn’t been serving the Queen, and you had been working in the courtyard instead of the palace, you had come to the pond, but not so late at night. However, it felt good to take a bit of a walk somewhere aside from the walls within the palace, and the garden was truly mesmerising under the moonlight. So you could believe that you hadn’t crossed paths with the prince before because you had been walking around at different times.

On the other hand, despite knowing that you might meet him in the garden these days, you didn’t back away. After all, you weren’t doing anything shameful, and no one else was around, so rumours couldn’t fly around regarding you two. At least, you tried to tell yourself such reasonable words, but you were conflicted just how far this could go. A court lady and a prince talking late at night around the pond? No matter how many times you told yourself that this wasn’t wrong, you felt oddly at unease whenever you heard something crackling or murmurs rippling the night air - even from far away.

Yet, when you were in the act of talking to the prince, you couldn’t feel more at ease. Talking to him felt natural and he didn’t seem so distant while sharing stories with you even though you two came from very different backgrounds. Beside you, he seemed like a boy turning into a young man, knowing the responsibilities of his actions yet letting the childish side in him come to the surface when his duties didn’t call for something else.

Not to mention that it was, in a way, fluttering to be able to talk to him in the first place, let alone get to know him. You realised that he was both very different and not so different from you. He didn’t care about your rank, or that you might tell others about what he was telling you because he trusted you enough, and you trusted him the same. Maybe this was why he was open to talk about the disruptions in the kingdom, and how much the royal family would try to protect peace within its borders.

And maybe this was why he wanted to let you know about the secret you had suspected some time ago.

“The truth is, I don’t have magic,” he blurted out one time after silence had taken over the two of you.

You had been looking at the ripples across the pond, watching the many colours dance under its surface, hiding fish in all shapes and sizes, but your eyes found their way to the prince’s delicate features when he spoke up. He looked ahead of himself, his lips pressed into a thin line, and it wasn’t a different image from his usual self. However, instead of his hands resting in his lap, his hands were balled into fists, clutching a part of his snow-white robe.

“Why… why are you telling me this?”

You tried to keep your voice as gentle as possible because you had a feeling that this was a confession that must have been living in his heart for so long, trying to break out, but it was a caged creature - forced within the bars by his family more than himself. Even though not all of the members of a family had magic if one person possessed it since it wasn’t hereditary, it seemed that the royal family wanted it to be true since the King had magic in his veins, and princess Jinhee was said to possess it, too. However, you had a feeling that prince Jinyoung didn’t do so because you had never heard him use it whereas princess Jinhee was frequently praised for her skills.

What was more heartbreaking than this was the fact that the Queen tried so hard to hide his lack of magic - as you had experienced it on the training field when she had claimed that prince Jinyoung would take care of his wounds if he got hurt -, and maybe it was because she came from a different kingdom and thus didn’t have magic, but you had a feeling that she didn’t know the weight of her actions. She didn’t realise how much she was denying something that the prince didn’t wish to talk about to begin with.

You didn’t act like a fool, that’s why you didn’t ask him if it was true for you had a feeling for some time, and he seemed to notice that, too.

“Because I know you’ve figured it out yourself, and it feels good to tell someone else about it apart from my friends,” he explained as he averted his eyes from the scenery to you, and you gulped when you saw the hurt in his pitch-black orbs. Maybe it was that you mistook his pain for secrecy before, but now instead of a stern, out of reach, almighty prince, all you could see was a boy grieving something that had never been his, feeling guilty for something he had no control over and being vulnerable to someone who shouldn’t have mattered to him.

Yet, since he was willing to share his secret with you, you didn’t want to think about whether it was right or wrong. Instead, you wanted to be there for him, comforting him with words.

“You aren’t any less because you don’t have magic, Your Highness,” you whispered to him, afraid that your words might open up his wound instead of tending to it, but he didn’t seem to take it to heart.

“And you aren’t any less because you’ve grown up without a mother,” he added similarly quietly, and you felt your heart drop. You were about to say something, but then, you closed your mouth, pondering how to word this feeling. “See. It’s difficult to believe it no matter how many times others tell you.”

It was difficult, he was right, but you assumed that no one really knew how much the absence of your mother still impacted you, and the way you thought of yourself. He did, it seemed. He might have been reserved and didn’t like to pry in other’s business, but he was perceptive, even more than you would have thought so.

“How do you… Why does it feel like you know me so well, Your Highness?” You furrowed your eyebrows, not accusing, merely curious. Prince Jinyoung, as if he was waiting for you to confirm, let his lips curl a bit upwards before leaning a bit closer to you, as if he was telling a secret.

“I’ve told you. I’ve heard you talk to yourself at this pond. I just never wanted to interrupt you,” he explained matter-of-factly, but that was not enough for you. You didn’t know what took hold of you, but you were persistent, so you asked:

“So why tell me now?”

Prince Jinyoung looked back at the pond, then shrugged his shoulders. After some silence, you decided to drop the topic, and excused yourself to head to your room instead. Your heart was in mayhem already, you didn’t want to continue this dance that had started between you two because you were afraid that all it took was a few more turns to fall into his arms, to fall into him. 

Thankfully, he didn’t hold you back, nor did he come with you, so you could walk to the courtyard, your heart still hammering in your chest. That's how you missed him saying to himself after you had left:

“Because you aren’t that unreachable now.”

The fact that you served the Queen directly meant that you knew more about the kingdom’s business affairs than before as the royal family including the King, the Queen, prince Jinyoung and princess Jinhee often attended business meetings with and without the royal council. It was said that it was, so that they knew exactly what was going on in the kingdom, and it was a merit for the children of the royal couple as well. Trading, business affairs and politics were fields that prince Jinyoung would be involved in as the future heir, and princess Jinhee would be considered a knowledgeable young lady if she knew of such topics, making her an even better wife candidate. When the council had a meeting, you were supposed to wait outside along with the other servants, but when it was just the royal family members, you could stay inside and possibly help the Queen to write letters and contracts for her or to read them for her.

The main issue these days was the unjustifiable attacks on a royal carriage sometime ago and a recent revolt near the borders - both lead to the assumption that rebels from the nearby kingdom were behind the attacks. It wasn’t very concerning for now, but the royal family wanted to be prepared for every scenario, and they tried to put out the fire before it could burn down their reputation. That’s how you found yourself accompanying the Queen and princess Jinhee to visit Naturalia that offered favourable trade in exchange for the princess marrying into the family.

You, a few other servants, soldiers from the royal army and two magic medics - including Byounggon whom you frequently saw around prince Jinyoung - accompanied you, so you ended up going in three different carriages, and the plan was to stay for two days and one night. You tried not to look around too much, but you hadn’t travelled outside of the kingdom before because you had started working at the palace from such a young age, and this particular kingdom boosted the magic of nature, so all kinds of surfaces were covered in colourful plants, vivid trees and rainbow-like herbs. You had read that there were people who regularly went to collect such magical plants, but the trading of their magic was limited to their kingdom only. Unless princess Jinhee would marry prince Jaehyeong.

However, your awe was cut short when upon the introductory tour around the palace, you were invited for some tea, and the servant - Hyeri - who tried the so-called immunity boosting drink to test it before the royal family would do so started gasping for air.

“What is it? What is the problem?” The Queen immediately rose to her feet, but you and another court lady were already there to hold onto the woman whose face turned purple. She looked like she was struggling to breathe, constantly hitting her chest with her balled fists and struggling to keep upright.

Bewildered, you found yourself hyperventilating for a moment, but then, you tried to remember what your father had always said. Do something about a problem first, and panic only if the consequences are not in your favour.

“I’ll call for the medics,” you suggested hastily, almost falling over your feet as you picked up the hem of your robe and ran out of the dining room to call for the two medics who were stationed outside in the hall. You quickly explained the situation, but they didn’t waste time either, they immediately came rushing with you. By that time, the woman was already on the floor, lying seemingly unconscious.

You felt your heart beating wildly against your ribcage, like a wild horse that didn’t know where to go in the unfamiliar woods. You couldn’t help but think of the worst case scenario, and you felt blood rushing to your head, making you dizzy. What if it was a trap? What if this was the plan of Naturalia’s royal family all along? What if your Queen was in danger? What if all of you were in danger?

Despite being wary and conscious of the many reasons behind this incident, prince Jaehyeong’s mother was seemingly shocked as well, trying to come up with different scenarios as to why it could happen - maybe the court lady was allergic to the ingredients in the tea -, but the Queen was suspicious, and didn’t let it slide even when the joined effort of the two medics and princess Jinhee’s magic helped Hyeri to regain consciousness.

“It was too strong of an effect for it to be accidental. If three of us needed to use magic to help my court lady, it was intended to kill one of us. Even if the incident was out of your control, it is not safe for us to stay here,” the Queen concluded rather indignantly, and at least the other royal family members didn’t protest, and reassured her that they would do everything in their power to get to the bottom of this case.

The ride back to the palace was a tense one because it meant that even if the Naturalia royal family didn’t want to kill the Queen or the princess, someone in their royal court would want to do so, someone who had the power to get inside their walls and put some kind of poison in the tea. They should have known that such royalty didn’t just drink or eat before testing it out with their servants, so maybe it was a kind of warning. First the carriage incident, then the rebels, now this… Was it all because the two kingdoms were to be united by the prospectus wedding? Did a group of citizens from the other kingdom have anything against your Queen?

You kept thinking about the what ifs, signs you should have seen, but you still couldn’t rack your head around what had just happened. Upon your arrival back at the palace, the Queen asked you to accompany the startled Hyeri to her room instead of walking her back to her chambers since she had other servants who could help her now. You obeyed her, but your voice was shaky as you responded to her, and your hand trembled when you reached out to hold onto the court lady. It could have been you as well, you could have died that day…

“It’s all okay. You’re safe now,” you mumbled to Hyeri nevertheless, trying to soothe her nerves, but you could still see how frazzled she was. Even when you left her after she had thanked you for your assistance and denied that she needed anything else, you could clearly see how terrified she was. You told her that she shouldn’t hesitate to call for you if she changed her mind and needed anything. Afterwards, you left her behind and started aimlessly walking around the court until your legs didn’t feel wobbly anymore. You needed time and some fresh air to clear your mind.

You were just about to head to the court ladies’ house when you walked into prince Jinyoung who looked just as shaken up as you deemed that you had been some time ago. His usually delicate locks sat on top of his head messily as if he had been running his hand through his hair more often than it was necessary, his jet-black eyes were painted with agony, his facial expression alarmed and his voice shaky when he spoke up.

“Are you… alright?” His words came out raspy, as if he was still trying to catch his breath. Did he come to the court ladies’ area after hearing the news? Why did he seem so uncharacteristically concerned? The usually stern and reserved prince didn’t usually meddle with the servants’ business as you had seen. He was on good terms with his soldier friend, Seunghun, and one of the magical medics, Byounggon, but he usually didn’t worry about the court ladies’ safety. Some said that it was because he didn’t want to be swept up in rumours while you deemed that it was only natural since he was royalty, and of the obedient type.

You bobbed your head, though you were at a loss for words seeing him in this state.

“Are you sure you don’t need more medical assistance?” The prince continued, taking a step closer to you as if to examine if you had visible injuries. However, the way he worded himself sent waves of warmth through your body.

“Oh, it was not me who drank the tea. It was court lady Kim,” you justified to the prince whose lips formed a surprised ‘O’ in return. Other than that, he didn’t seem taken aback, more like a bit coy, but his features softened as if he had been relieved by your answer.

“Oh… is she alright, too?”

“Yes, I helped to accompany her back to her room,” you explained, trying to keep the shaking out of your voice. You had never thought before that being in the court could mean that you were in direct danger because you weren’t a soldier or a bodyguard, but it seemed that there were multiple ways one could weaken a King on the throne.

You heard a door opening and carefree chatter coming out of a house nearby, so instinctively, you grabbed the prince’s robe and pulled him to the wall of the nearest house, into the shadows. You couldn’t really tell what took hold of you, but it felt oddly wrong to be so out in the open with just the prince. It was different in the garden when there were just the two of you. It was like your little hideout, an island of solace, a place of security, however now, you felt like you were stripped bare.

Prince Jinyoung’s eyes widened in surprise at first, but he must have guessed your reason for bringing him with you out of the public eye because he didn’t protest, nor did he ask why you had acted this way. Instead, he peeked out from behind the wall, then back at you.

“And you? Are you alright?” He asked as if he had just continued from where he had left off. “This must have shaken you up.”

The way his words were so gentle, so caring made you feel things that you shouldn’t have. If the prince was the moon that lit the way for the people of the kingdom, the light in the darkness, the hope in the unfamiliar, you would be the sun that shone only during daytime, shining bright until night came, and the moon took its place. You two weren’t supposed to encounter each other, let alone seek out time to see each other.

He shouldn’t have cared about you, and you shouldn’t have let him, but still… You couldn’t lie straight to his face.

“I am… I just…” You wanted to say so much, yet the words died on the tip of your tongue. Your heart was way heavy, the flashbacks of the scene in the dining room even heavier, and you felt a drop of tear sliding down your cheeks as you were trying to pull yourself together. You had to stay strong, you couldn’t show him vulnerability. He couldn’t care about your vulnerability. “I am sorry, Your Highness. I do not want to bother you anymore. Please, go on your way,” you said instead, keeping your eyes down as you bowed.

You wanted him to go away, to stop caring, to stop looking at you, but he didn’t budge, and it was a rule that you could straighten up only when a royalty took the first step. However, he didn’t do so, instead, he tapped your shoulder, and helped you straighten up.

“You don’t bother me at all,” he mumbled like a secret, a feeble attempt at diminishing the gap between you two that should have always mattered, but he crossed it as if he didn’t see it at all.

And you, you weren’t strong enough to push him away. Not that day, not in the comforting shadows under the faint moonlight, not out of the public eye when he looked at you as if he was ready to give you the world. The hand that had rested on your shoulder before now slid to your back as he embraced you, holding you strong, holding you steady

The walls crumbled down, the shield of your heart taken away, your rational thoughts tossed aside. Now, there was only his comforting touch that put out even the tiniest flicker of resistance within you, and for a moment, you believed that this could be your reality, your present and future, and your forever.

After the incident, the palace was in uproar. They couldn’t let it slide as promised, and so the investigation started to get to the bottom of this. The royal family of Naturalia was helpful though, and soon enough, they found a group of rebels who didn’t want your kingdom to be in alliance, let alone in union with their kingdom because of the special magical plants they possessed. They deemed that it was their gift and their gift only. It made sense why the attack on the carriage had happened when a letter had been delivered to Naturalia, then around the borders when news had gotten around that a marriage deal had been proposed to princess Jinhee, then when the Queen and the princess had actually gone to visit the other kingdom.

They didn’t find all of the rebels though, and there was no guarantee that they wouldn’t attack again no matter the fact that peace was in both parties’ favour. So for now, the marriage proposal was put on hold, and instead, your kingdom tried to strengthen its ties with other alliances. After the passing of the King in Elementalia - the land of elemental magic where people could possess the ability to control fire, earth, water and air -, his rather young heir took place, but it meant that marrying one of their princesses off to another kingdom would secure their power with a boy king on the throne.

That’s how you found yourself in the room with the Queen, prince Jinyoung and other servants, listening to their conversation about prince Jinyoung marrying the princess in question.

“They are in a tight spot, and we are in need of securing our safety. Who knows when those rebels would attack us again? It is best if we do not push your sister’s marriage with prince Jaehyeong now, but rather, we reassure them that we will not make moves towards their kingdom. The best way to do that is to shift their attention to our other affairs… such as your possible marriage with the princess from Elementalia,” the Queen concluded confidently, but you could hear the indignation in her voice. Seeing one of her court ladies almost getting poisoned took a toll on her as it did on all of you. One of her court ladies had even resigned, feeling like her safety was threatened.

Needless to say, prince Jinyoung was also aware of the tension in the kingdom, and while you had only met him once since that embrace, he had seemed rather troubled then and now as well.

“And princess Yunkyeong is said to be a very intelligent, obedient young lady. You might not be interested in her now, but at least, give her a chance. Let us arrange a meeting with her, and see how you feel about her being your wife. I will not force you to make any rash decisions, but we-”

“We need this marriage deal now to reassure our people that our kingdom isn’t threatened. I know, Mother,” the prince cut her off, his voice void of any emotions. His face was also void of any emotions, save for the slight wrinkles forming on his forehead.

You wished you could do anything to help this situation, but in cases like this, your hard work didn’t mean anything. These affairs were bigger than you, bigger than anyone in the royal court. Plus, the Queen was right. Despite not talking explicitly about what had happened in both the carriage and the tea incident, word had gotten out, especially with the rebels making a ruckus around the border. The people were confused and scared, questioning what the royal family’s next move might be. It was best to reassure them with such prosperous news rather than talk about any uncertainty.

“I will come back when you feel ready to give me your answer,” the Queen suggested as she rose from her seat, and so the servants lined up behind her. As you got in line, you made the mistake of looking at the prince, and he looked back at you, though you couldn’t exactly say you knew exactly what he was feeling. However, a shadow of sorrow passed through his features, but you didn’t know what it was for. Or rather, you didn’t want to know.

So you kept your eyes on the ground even after straightening your back from bowing at the prince, and didn’t look back.

You purposefully didn’t go to the garden afterwards. You could have said that you didn’t have time or you were too troubled by the recent events, but the truth is, you merely wanted to avoid meeting the prince. If you hadn’t had conscience before, now you would have felt like you had betrayed the Queen and all that she had worked so hard for if you had kept up your encounters with prince Jinyoung, and the people had gotten to know about it. Such news might even prompt princess Yunkyeong and her family to step back from their marriage proposal. After all, a prince and a court lady should never meet under private circumstances, let alone embrace in the shadows.

Now more than ever, you regretted letting prince Jinyoung console you in your state, you should have known that it would lead to nothing good. You should have stayed strong, you should have never shed tears in front of the prince. On the other hand, you knew, you knew very well with prince Jinyoung’s personality that he wouldn’t have felt compelled to embrace you even if you had been crying. He had done it because he had wanted to, but this thought only weighed down on you even more. What were you two doing anyway? Even if you had moments when you could have believed that your feelings would be reciprocated, the question wasn’t whether they would be reciprocated, but just how wrong it would be if they were reciprocated? You couldn’t fall in love with a prince.

Nonetheless, it was too late. You felt that bittersweet tug whenever you walked to your room straight after finishing your duties for the day without wandering around in the garden, you felt a wave of childish thrill go through your body whenever you caught sight of similarly pitch-black locks as the prince had - though you knew that it couldn’t be the prince for the royal family always wore white and the court members always wore burgundy-black -, and you felt your heart yearning for him, like a person coming up for air after being underwater for too long.

No matter how many times you tried to tell yourself that you could only make things worse if you felt everything so deeply, so grandly, your heart was at war with your brain, and it seemed that your brain was at defeat. Despite everything, you longed for what you had, for what you could have and for what you would never have with prince Jinyoung.

It didn’t make things any easier that you were there when the prince gave his answer to the Queen - that he would meet the princess in person -, you were there when they were arranging for the arrival of princess Yunkyeong and the Queen of Elementalia, and you were there when they arrived. You even needed to be the one to notify the prince that they arrived, and you felt a lump forming in your throat as you walked closer and closer to the prince’s chamber. You felt like your legs were made of steel, your limbs numb and your heartbeat as erratic as it could be.

Even though you had never been to the prince’s chamber, you knew where it was for it was the room closest to the Queen’s own chamber. Knocking on its door made you think of scenarios where you could do the same, but you quickly got rid of all of these silly fantasies. After all, they were nothing more than fantasies, irrational wishes and ultimately bullets through your already fragile heart.

When the prince answered, you opened the door to his chamber, and you made your way inside, bowing immediately before letting him know about why you were there. You could see that prince Jinyoung was both surprised and reassured by your presence, but he pursed his lips into a thin line when you explained the reason behind your visit.

“What do you think about this marriage?” The prince asked abruptly, and for a moment, you felt like icy thorns were invading your throat, making it impossible to speak, gulp or even breathe. Why did he have to make this even more difficult?

Deep inside, your rational side managed to break free from all the fantasies, and reminded you that you would only make things worse if you acted as if you were affected by the possibility of prince Jinyoung marrying a princess. As he should have after all. So you pulled yourself together, and tried to word yourself very diplomatically.

“I believe it is a very beneficial one, and princess Yunkyeong is said to be a lovely young lady as well, Your Highness,” you reasoned, keeping your voice steady. You even managed to keep eye-contact with him, and you saw confusion flash across his features. He seemed weary, someone who hadn’t been sleeping well because of his tormenting thoughts, and you wished to soothe the wrinkles on his forehead, to feel the warmth of his touch again, and to hold his hand to reassure him that everything would be alright, but you knew it was all just wishful thinking. It was all just a lie.

The prince took a few steps closer to you and you took a few back because you didn’t know what he was about to do without saying a word. Your back almost touched the door, and in a fraction of fragile seconds, he closed the said door, and turned back to you. This way, no one in the corridor could see you or listen to you two.

“Is that what you honestly think?”

His gaze was piercing, almost burning, and it felt like he could see right through you. His usually warm orbs reflected sadness, sorrow and bitterness - something that you saw reflected in your own ones recently. Seeing him in this state made you feel even worse for lying to him, but you had to. Words were your only defence now.

“Yes, Your Highness. I wish nothing but the best for you.”

“Do you believe it would be the best for me if you kept this up, and I would lose you in the meantime?” He kept going on strong, almost demanding, but you could detect the thorn in his words, you could detect his fear. Even though he wasn’t as close to you as he had been when he had embraced you in the shadows, you still felt like he was about to break down your walls. You couldn’t let that happen. Not this time.

“I do not believe that my presence should matter that much, and besides, we should hurry to-” You tried to direct the conversation back to the way it had started, but the prince cut you off, and the sincerity, the pain and the same longing you felt laced his words, and you were rendered speechless.

“It does matter that much even if you might not think so. So just once, can’t you be honest with me? Can’t you tell me what you really feel?”

Amongst many, there was one thing about prince Jinyoung that made him a likely successful heir to the throne: no matter what he said, he could make others believe it, no room for doubts. His voice was always confident, no cracks or wavers, but now, his voice shook. It shook like a man’s during prayers, during struggle and during darkness. As if he was desperate.

You physically ached to give him the answer he wanted, but you were already hurting so much, so you made a promise to yourself that no matter how and when you would meet him again, you wouldn’t let it continue the same way as it had done before. The sooner you could put an end to it, the less it would hurt.

Or so you assumed.

“I do not understand what you intend to say with it, Your Highness, but my duties lie with the Queen, and I always, always put her commands first,” you emphasised sternly, masking your tone in a coldness that you had never found within you before. “So if you could follow me now, that would make my job easier,” you added, strictly drawing the line between you two, and before waiting for his answer like you should have according to the etiquette, you walked around him, opened the door and walked out.

You expected him to follow you, and he did, but you were thankful that he didn’t walk beside you because you had to bite your cheek to keep your tears from flowing. It hurt for you to be so rigid to him, but that was the only way you could put a distance between you two.

So why did it hurt so much? Why did it pain you more to lie to him than if you had just been honest with him? If this was love, why did it hurt so bloody much?

It turned out that princess Yunkyeong was indeed a lovely young lady, and seeing her interact with the prince made you feel undeniably bitter because she was so bright, so considerate and so patient, you wished you could have turned back time to never make him feel anything because you knew why he was so distant. Even though he was trying not to appear stern, you could see the way his facial expressions changed in a fraction of a second when he turned away from her. You knew that the reason was you.

Nonetheless, you hoped that he wouldn’t cling onto the foolish hope of you two ever having your own happy ending because just as much as you would have liked to delude yourself into thinking that you could have anything together, it would be simply impossible as long as you were a servant and he was a prince. Which meant that you could never do so.

So when you heard after the princess’ visit that the prince had given in to the marriage, you should have felt relieved, yet you would be lying if you said that you were. After all, it would mean that you would see the princess around all the time because she would move into the palace after the wedding, and though the pain might numb after a while, her presence would always remind you of what you could have had if it had been for different circumstances.

You tried not to think about it, you really tried, but there was a pang in your chest whenever you and prince Jinyoung were in the same room when he met up with the Queen, and despite not catching each other’s eyes, your heart couldn’t sit still. The same went when you walked by him in the corridor, just one look at him and the fact that you could never be close again almost felt like the consequences of getting burnt. You were too close to the fire, but you were tempted, so you touched the flames, and now you were hurt, yet still yearning to do it again. Now you understood the expression that you would walk through fire for someone, you really did.

You were almost glad that the Festival of Day and Light happened a few days before the wedding because you could get time off to visit back home, to visit the festival because the Queen was preoccupied with the wedding arrangements, and hence, she would stay inside her chamber for most of the day.

It was the usual yearly festival for the fall equinox, and when you had been younger, you had been ecstatic to spend this day with your mother, to commemorate the gift of light, and to light a candle for all your loved ones, wishing them a bright year. There were all kinds of games for kids, stalls of delicacies lining up on the main market square, people lighting candles and placing them on the riverside that crossed the capital of the kingdom, and white or yellow decorations in the shape of stars, the Sun and the Moon.

Despite the usual joyous atmosphere of the celebration, ever since your mother had died, you hadn’t gone out to celebrate it as your father wasn’t the kind to believe in such things. So this year as well, you went home for the day, had a meal together with your father, helped him around the house, talked about everything that came to mind, then headed back to the palace later at night. Yet, there was no way you would be able to go around the celebrations on the main market square, so you mindlessly walked through it.

To be precise, you wanted to, but an elderly woman with an impossibly wide smile shoved a candle into your hand, and looking down at it, you didn’t have the heart to not light it up. So you walked to the edge of the river, a less crowded part of it, and crouched down to touch your candle to the wick of another one, watching as the flame moved from one candle to the other.

Then, you placed yours on the ground, closed your eyes and wished for your father’s health, your mother’s comfort in the spirit realm, the court ladies’ perseverance, the Queen’s well-being and even for prince Jinyoung’s happiness. You really wished nothing but the best for him even if you weren’t a part of it.

When you opened your eyes to the world around you and straightened up, you didn’t expect to find a familiar pair of jet-black eyes staring back at you. Your heart and mind didn’t even have time to protest, the words already rolled off your tongue.

“Your Highness,” you greeted him with your mouth slightly agape, then pulled yourself together for a proper bow. He placed his index finger on his lips - just like the time he had picked up the hairpin for you -, and the déjavu of the whole situation sent a chill down your spine.

He indeed looked like he didn’t want to be seen as he didn’t wear his trademark white robe, but a burgundy-black one with a hood that now covered most of his face, but you could never mistake his orbs for anyone else’s. You had stared into them, you had gazed at them and you had daydreamed about them enough times to be able to recognise them anywhere.

“What are you doing here?” You inquired quietly. It wasn’t unheard of that the royal family members went out for such celebrations, but then they walked into the sea of people in their usual clothes with bodyguards around them. This time, the prince seemed to be alone, and you expected him the least out of anyone since his wedding was just around the corner.

“I’ve never had the opportunity to light a candle. I’ve gotten Seunghun’s clothes, so that I could come here in peace, and then I saw you here…” He trailed off by the end as if he wasn’t sure that he should have said so much, but you could understand him. Especially after how you had lied to him last time.

“Should you be here so close to your wedding?”

Your question might have been assumed to be laced with malice, but you didn’t ask about it out of spite. You were concerned about him, that’s all. You knew how fussy the Queen was about the whole wedding, and it took a toll on prince Jinyoung (or was it that he still didn’t let go of you?). The last thing you had expected from him these days was to see him at the festival.

“Probably not,” he replied, and despite the tense question, the corner of his lips curled upwards, a bit childish and a bit bashful. Not the expression you had expected to see on him given his general state nowadays.

However, the prince didn’t seem guilty now, but there was definitely melancholy in his features. His lips couldn’t bloom into a full smile, his eyes weren’t twinkling, and his limbs were all tensed up as if he was ready to bolt anytime. Maybe he really was, seeing how he covered himself up.

Your heart ached for him, for all the possibilities that were crushed by the sole difference between your ranks, and for all those endless fantasies he had been a part of, ones that popped into your mind whenever you let your mind wander off, whenever you caught sight of him at the palace, and whenever you walked by the pond in the garden. Even though the latter had become a place of solitude, a safe haven for you, now it was just another thing that reminded you of your pain. The wound was there, and it was still open, it was still bleeding, no wonder it was difficult to wait out the time it would start to heal.

And in a way, something in your gut told you that he was the same. His following words proved it, too.

“But I’ve wanted to wish for someone’s bright future even if I won’t be a part of it,” prince Jinyoung suddenly broke the silence, his voice coming out raspy. He crouched down to light his own candle as he continued, but you were glad that he couldn’t see your face because his words struck you to your very core. “I felt like I wasn’t supposed to tell her after what we’ve been through and that she wouldn’t let me tell her how I wish the best for her, so I came here instead. I was hoping that my wish would somehow be carried forward.”

The more he talked, the more certain you were that he was talking about you, and instinctively, tears began to spill. You tried to hold them back, but they found their way to the surface, and all you could do was to sob silently, hoping that prince Jinyoung would look at his candle for a long enough time, long enough for your heart to prepare itself for a response, for your heart to prepare itself for a possible goodbye.

You reached to wipe the tears off your face, but as the prince straightened his back, that’s exactly what he caught you doing, so there was no turning back. You let your sobs reverberate through your body, your words following the rhythm of your tears like raindrops on a windowsill.

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled through tears, not being able to look him in the eye. So you just stared at your shoes instead while your tears dropped to the ground one after another. Drip… drop… drip… drop… “I thought that being harsh would be the only way I could make it hurt less, but it still hurts so much.”

“I know. I don’t blame you,” came the answer almost immediately, and when you looked at prince Jinyoung through the waterfall of your tears, you saw the same kind of longing that you dressed your features in these days. If anything, that just made you feel worse. Why couldn’t you be as heartless as last time?

You sobbed quietly, hoping not to attract unnecessary attention, but this part of the riverside was pretty quiet, and the stillness of it all magnified the loudness of your beating heart. You felt like it would break through your ribcage to find the prince’s own heart because it was what it sought after. Too bad that you couldn’t listen to your heart now…

“I’m sorry, too,” prince Jinyoung added, his voice cracking by the end.

You knew what was to come even before it happened, but as opposed to last time, you didn’t feel warmth, you didn’t feel comfort. When the prince embraced you, there was pain; because when you share the same kind of pain with someone, your pain is amplified by the other’s pain. It was a gawking, raw, soul crashing kind of ache, one that you felt in your bones, in your veins and in your heart. You couldn’t even do anything about it, your arms just hung idly by the prince’s body, your tears spilling endlessly, words abandoning you and sobs scratching your throat instead.

You couldn’t tell how much time had passed by when the prince let go of you, but you had a feeling that it was for good. When he squeezed your hand gently, you could feel the hesitation only for a short moment, and then, he slowly slipped through your fingers, all of your remaining hope leaving with him.

The walls that he had broken down now laid at your feet, lifeless and in multiple, messy pieces.

You somehow pushed through the wedding, but afterwards, you kept coming down with something, and even Byounggon’s healing and the medics’ tips couldn’t help because it just kept coming back, so the Queen granted you indefinite leave to go back home and to recharge yourself.

The truth is, once you were off the palace grounds, you got better, and you had a feeling why. On top of that, your father was also feeling poorly, so you were glad that you could be at home during this time. The truth is, ever since you had left for the palace 16 years ago, you hadn’t spent more than a week straight at home, so now that you were there, you realised just how much time had passed by, just how lonely your father must have been, how worn out your old shoes had been, and how loaded all your bookshelves were.

You made yourself busy in and around the house, cleaning up, buying new pillows for yourself and new clothes for your father (it seemed that he didn’t like spending money on himself, rather on books), picking up some herbs for your father from the nearby medics - from two young men, Hyunsuk and Yonghee, who were said to be good friends -, cooking, sewing clothes that were torn, reading the books you had not yet read from the shelves, and daydreaming about how you would take prince Jinyoung to your home, how you would lead him around the house and how you would introduce him to your father… if the circumstances had been different, and he hadn’t been a prince married to a princess.

The news of the royal family reached your neighbourhood as well, so you knew that the prince was on a trip to Elementalia with his wife, and maybe that’s what prompted you to go back to the palace then to formally hand in your written resignation.

The Queen didn’t seem taken aback by your decision, in fact, she rose from her usual sitting position, put her hand on your trembling ones, and gave you an almost motherly smile.

“Thank you so much for your service in the past 16 years. Your mother would be exceptionally proud of you. I wish nothing but the best for you and your father,” she said as she sent you on your way, and when you walked out of her chamber and passed by prince Jinyoung’s own chamber, you knew that it was for the best. Maybe some would say that you ran away from him, but you knew that you couldn’t have run away from the pain even if you had tried. So you had tried to give yourself space and time to decide what would be the best for you, and both your body and your heart thanked you for this decision.

You couldn’t help a teardrop roll down your cheeks though as you stepped through the gates - probably for the very last time -, flashbacks washed into a wheel of events; so much laughter, so much learning, so much love and so much pain. Like the different colours of a rainbow, all of these were needed to make you who you were today, and even though you didn’t believe in forever anymore, you would always, truly, deeply wish for nothing but the best for prince Jinyoung. He had given you so much care and affection, and this was the only way you could repay him.

A/N: I managed to finish writing and proofreading this story in time for the comeback, but I didn't think that it would top all the pain that the comeback might cause. Sorry for that, but I hope that you enjoyed the angst of it!

How do you like the comeback, the MV and the album? Do you have a favourite song? I love suffering, and I love emotional MVs, but the MV and the whole album were on another level in the best way possible. I think the boys outdid themselves again, and I'm super proud of them!

All in all, I hope you enjoyed the story! Thank you so much for reading it! ❤️

If you want to read more stories of mine, let it be for CIX or for other bands, consider signing up for my taglist here.

On top of that, keep your eyes out for the other boys' stories set in this universe! 😉

[kpop-kitkat]

Throughout the Years | Kim Yonghee

pairing | lover!kim yonghee x f!reader

genre/cw | fluff, slight angst, non idol au, sexual content, fluffy bath scene that’s slightly suggestive, dad!yonghee, mom!reader, cute family, stress, hurt comfort sorta 

wc | 2.0k

notes | yonghee is so sweet i cannot-

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧  

Love is one of the most wonderful things a human being can experience. And to find love at the young age of fourteen, while not exactly ideal, is just as much of a gift. That was the case for Y/n and Yonghee. 

You hear about middle school romances in movies, books, the news even. But never did these two think they'd find their lover in grade nine. It was fate, honestly. Like the most cliche romance drama, Y/n was being picked on by the school's bad boy. And her hero, Yonghee, happened to be in the vicinity.

 "Go away Kento," Y/n begged, hugging her books close to her chest as she backed into her locker. 

 "No seriously," Kento continued from his previous words. "I'm confused. Were you born that ugly? Or did your witch of a mother use her magic and put a curse on you?"

 "Leave her be Kento," Yonghee seethed, stepping into the situation.

 "Oh look, it's the Yongster. Come to help your little girlfriend again? What are you going to do about it, tell my mom? You're not a real threat," he scoffed, inching his way closer to Y/n. And nothing could've prepared Kento for what Yonghee was about to do. Yonghee pushed his shoulders, forcing him away from Y/n, before punching him straight in the face, effectively sending him to the floor. "Ah! Help! Yonghee hurt me!" He immediately sounded, like the spoiled brat he was brought up as. But nobody listened to him. They were all equally fed up with his evil antics. In fact, they sided with Yonghee.

 "Nobody is going to help you, Kento. Now leave us, and while you're at it, get a life," Yonghee growled, earning a round of applause from his nearby peers.

Yonghee took Y/n's hand and brought her out of there, and into the open air of the outdoor basketball court just outside the school's gym.

 "Thank you, Yonghee. You didn't have to stick up for me like that. I appreciate it," she smiled.

 "Yeah, no problem," Yonghee blushed, being the shy teenager he was. He cleared his throat, remembering how he had been on his way to tell her something. Something important. "Hey uh... I've been meaning to ask you something," he scratched the back of his head.

 "Okay, what is it?" Y/n tilted her head at the boy. The boy who she had her eyes on since fifth grade.

 "I was wondering if... you... maybe uh... wanted to go out? Like to the park? Together?" He smiled sheepishly. "It doesn't have to be a date if you don't want it to be... I just think you're cute and I uh-"

The flustered boy was cut off by Y/n pressing a quick kiss to his cheek, catching him off guard. "It's a date then."

 "Y-yeah, cool."

~~~~~

Y/n cheered as loud as she possibly could when Yonghee scored a three-pointer, winning the game for Cix Academy's high school basketball team, the angels. The rest of the arena cheered as well. The fans, family members, and friends ran onto the court to congratulate the boys on winning, not only a game, but the championship. But Y/n, not wanting to be trampled, waited for the commotion to die down before she congratulated her boyfriend. And once the people cleared out, she did just that. 

 "Yonghee!" Y/n yelled, grabbing the boy's attention. She jumped into his open arms, wrapping her legs around his waist. "You did so well!" She squealed in delight. 

 Yonghee hugged her tightly. "Thank you," he smiled before pulling away to see her face. "I couldn't have done it without you cheering me on from the stands," he smirked, looking down at her lips.

 "Stop it," she playfully rolled her eyes.

He laughed. "You love it," he said, then capturing her lips for a brief moment. He pulled away and set her down before walking towards the exit, arm around his girlfriend's shoulder.

~~~~~

Yonghee and Y/n, the newlyweds, sat across from each other as they enjoyed a nice home cooked meal made by Y/n, in their brand new house. Life was seemingly perfect. He had everything he needed and wanted. Or so he thought.

”So, how do you entertain yourself when I’m gone?” Yonghee wondered, taking another bite.

”Lots of things. Piano, reading, swimming, cleaning,” she listed, also taking another bite. She swallowed and took a silent deep breath before saying the next part. “Taking a pregnancy test.”

Yonghee nearly spit out all of his water, but he gulped it down. “You took a test?”

”Yeah,” Y/n smiled.

Yonghee had never felt his heart beat so fast. It was out of pure anticipation and excitement. “What did it say babe?”

”Look under your plate.”

His gasped before lifting the glass plate that held his food ever so carefully. Under it, was a Clear Blue pregnancy test. And on it, was written the word, pregnant. “Oh my gosh,” he gasped, holding a hand to his mouth, feeling the tears welling up. He was wrong when he said he had everything he wanted earlier. Because now, he did. He got up from his seat and went to his wife. When she stood, he immediately embraced her, choked up, not knowing what to say. She smiled and hugged back. 

“Are you happy, love?” Y/n asked quietly, stroking the back of his head.

He looked into her eyes and sniffed, crying but laughing at the same time. “I’m more than happy, baby,” he smiled so wide, Y/n could’ve sworn she’d never seen him smile wider. “I love you so much,” he said, embracing her again, as he began to sway her back and forth.

”I love you too,” Y/n sighed, so grateful for his positive reaction. Despite the fact that Y/n and Yonghee had been trying for a baby after their first couple months married, fear still gripped her. All the possible scenarios would run through her head, and she’d begin to regret the whole thing. But Yonghee would never do something like that. He loved Y/n, and just as much, he loved children. She couldn’t be a luckier woman. 

“I can’t wait until the baby is born. Just to see you brush our little girl’s hair, or dance with our little boy,” began Yonghee. “You’re an amazing cook, you have an amazing fashion sense, and you’re just an amazing person. You’ll be the perfect mother. I know you will.”

”Oh Yong,” Y/n whispered, tearing up at his words. “I know you’ll be just as good a father.”

Yonghee laughed again, wiping her tears away with his thumbs. “I don’t deserve you babe. I really don’t. But I love you, and I’ll love our child just as much,” he said, moving his hand to caress her stomach.

~~~~~

“Minjoon! Hana! Stop jumping on the furniture!” Y/n yelled as she tried not to burn the chicken she was frying. Her two children only laughed and stuck their tongues out, knowing she couldn’t get to them. “Don’t make me tell your dad!”

”Yes mommy,” they replied in unison, both jumping back onto the floor, knowing they didn’t want punishment from their dad. 

It wasn’t easy, parenting a six and four-year-old, while your husband was working a late day. But it had become the normal as of late. But Yonghee promised he’d talk it over with his boss, and have more time at home. Money wasn’t even a problem for them, he shouldn’t have to work his ass off when he had two children and a wife at home.

”Minjoon, go clean your room. It’s a mess,” ordered Y/n.

”Okay,” the brown haired boy pouted, dragging his feet up the stairs. 

“And Hana, make sure mommy and daddy’s bathroom is clean,” she told her black haired daughter. She was only four, so she could only inspect the bathroom, not clean it. 

Hana went upstairs, checked the bathroom, and went to report. “It’s clean!”

”Thank you baby,” Y/n said, wiping the sweat from her forehead as she finished her meal, luckily without burning it. “Where’s Minjoon?”

”Cleaning his room.”

”Oh right,” Y/n mentally facepalmed. She sat down on the sofa and checked her phone realizing, she had gotten a text from Yonghee.

Love😇: Home in ten! Sorry for taking so long. Ily 😘

Ten minutes ago 

She quickly made sure everything in the house was picked up, and also cleaned herself off a bit. And when she heard the keys jangling in the door’s lock, she ran to the door, her children back in the living room playing with their toys. She smiled, seeing her husband’s handsome face after a long and tiring day.

”Hi baby,” Yonghee sighed happily, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. 

“Yonghee,” Y/n sighed, just happy to be in his hold.

”You sound tired,” he pouted, looking at the bags under her eyes. “Everything alright.”

She didn’t want to cry, but emotions overtook her. She was on her period also, adding to the day’s stress. “You’ve been gone so much lately, and it’s hard to take care of a huge house while making dinner and supervising two children,” she said, all choked up.

”Aww baby, I’m so sorry I couldn’t be here. I promise I’ll try to take time off, okay?” He smiled, caressing her cheek. 

“Okay,” she sniffed, smiling again. 

Yonghee looked to see his children. “Daddy!” They both screamed, running into his arms. He laughed as he was nearly trampled before hugging them both, knees on the floor. 

“I missed you two,” he said, kissing both of their heads. “Let’s eat and go to bed early today, okay? Mommy is really tired.”

“Okay!” Said Minjoon, happily skipping to the dining table. 

Yonghee assisted Y/n as they set the table for their family of four. Five if you count the dog that waits for food to fall under the table. 

They all enjoyed the well cooked meal: fried chicken, a vegetable mix, and some mashed potatoes, the kids’ personal favorite. 

After eating, Yonghee told Y/n to rest on the sofa as he filled the dishwasher and cleaned up the kitchen. He then went to his children. “Alright you two, time for bed.”

”But we’re not sleepy!” Hana whined.

”Do you want to go to the park tomorrow?” Yonghee asked.

”Yeah!” Minjoon exclaimed.

”Then let’s go,” he nodded his head towards the stairs. They pouted, but they complied. 

Once he finished putting them to bed, he went to his nearly sleeping wife. “Baby,” he whispered, causing her to stir. “Do you want to take a bath together?”

She nodded in response, but refused to open her eyes. He shook his head and smiled before picking her up, bridal style, and carrying her upstairs. He ran the hot water and made sure it was the perfect temperature before he went to Y/n again. He carefully removed all of her clothes, and still awed at the sight of her beautiful body. “You’re so lovely baby,” he whispered, kissing her lips and nose before picking her up again, carrying her to the bath. Once he stripped his own clothes and got in next to her, he gently lathered lavender scented soap all over her body. Then he got the vanilla scented hair wash and massaged her scalp, earning a moan of satisfaction from Y/n. He took the mini shower head and rinsed her body and hair off. Once he finished, he pulled her to his chest, loving the feeling of her body against his. 

“Yonghee,” Y/n sighed, clearly sleepy.

”Yes love?” He smiled, kissing the top of her head.

”I love you,” she replied, yawning.

”I love you more,” Yonghee sighed, closing his eyes as he rested his head atop hers.

Most people say middle school romances never last. But look at Y/n and Yonghee. Met in fifth grade, fell in love at ninth. And they made it work. 

Because true love isn’t temporary. It’s forever.