Julia trying to decide on what kind of cards and candy to get Andrew and Ashley? That or Andrew trying to make a bunch of anonymous cards for his sister without getting found out.
-Solace
I chose the first prompt! Because Andrew giving his sister anonymous letters is already an internal part of my other fics. I hope you enjoy it, love.
Julia just wanted to get along with her boyfriend's little sister again. Honest!
Somehow, she wasn't expecting the holiday to be so nerve-wracking, but here she was!
Julia stood in front of the chocolate store, she had never been at at such a fancy one before. Her lips pursed together in a wobbly line.
She kept fidgeting with her long bangs, usually she didn't mind then, Julia could see just fine through them.
But right now.
Right now, it was like she couldn't see anything.
And she was sure she had been standing outside of the store looking in for way too long already.
And she didn't know if actually going in would be more awkward, than not going in by now. Julia sighed.
In reality, Julia already knew what she wanted to pick.
How could she not, when it was this on the nose? The two little rabbits made out of chocolate were right there.
And granted, she could admit she hadn't been the closest friend to Ashley, granted, Ashley didn't really have any friends, and granted, their friendship had started because Andrew had asked her, and her own best friend, to sit together with his little sister.
But still.
Julia had seen Ashley's little doodles during class, back when they still had classes together that is.
So Julia knew at least a few things that Ashley liked.
Such as her brother, her choker, doodling, and doodling rabbits. She felt a pang of guilt.
Because she didn't really know anything else about Ashley, did she? A pang of guilt like a needle poking at her ribcage.
“Well… nobody can say I didn't try.”
Julia muttered to herself, her eyes travelling towards the other chocolate boxes.
It's not like Ashley had tried to get close with her either. Julia had actually made an effort at the start.
She had asked Andrew to bring his sister along to their dates, she had tried to speak to Ashley, invited her over to their dorm.
But Julia wasn't the best at socializing, and she had the feeling that even if she were the best at it, Ashley still wouldn't like her.
Julia bit the inside of her cheek.
Her mouth was filled with little scar marks from her bad habits. She couldn't help but bite whenever she got anxious.
And Julia couldn't help but get anxious, whenever she remembered their times together. It has ingrained itself into her brain.
How dead Ashley looked whenever Andrew wasn't paying attention to her.
Julia thought: Ashley was actually pretty much the same as she was, back when they were both children.
Ashley had this particular way about her.
Her arms would raise, and she would squish her nose like a bunny, and her eyes would get all teary and red.
Like a child about to throw herself to the ground, and get into a tantrum.
It made Julia feel a little guilty, because Ashley always showed her that face, whenever she showed up at their apartment’s street, and took Andrew out, with her, somewhere.
She had the feeling that Ashley disliked herself too much, to allow anybody else to like her, and as Julia didn't favour herself a full-time martyr just yet, their relationship didn't go anywhere.
It's not like she was going to keep him forever! Just a few hours, a couple days a week.
She would have been satisfied with just that. Hell, she would have been satisfied with even less than that.
Julia looked away from the chocolate boxes.
Her sister had called her a wuss far too many times before. And Julia was starting to dread her sister was right.
She moved her bangs away from her face a final time, and then they fell right back on top of her face.
“Mhhhm” She closed her eyes and garnered up all her bravery.
Julia wondered if she could wrap them up with pink and green ribbons.
She opened her eyes “Ah…” And walked into the store.
Might as well get it done with already right.
Julia made a quick bee-line towards the bunnies encapsulated in plastic, she awkwardly stood in line, constantly reminding herself that nothing was actually happening, and the world wasn't actually ending.
After a little while she paid, and left.
Julia walked through the streets of their shitty middle of nowhere town, and thought, if nobody spoke to her, she probably wouldn't speak ever again.
She made a left, and went into the same stationary store, she and her sister had been going to since they were little kids.
Julia quickly scanned the options with her eyes, but she already knew exactly what she was going to choose.
Those thin shiny ribbon strands, of look-at-me pink, and green, hanging together in the very back of the wall.
“Those ones please… Yes, just a half a meter. I need a tiny plastic bag too” Julia pointed at them, while keeping her gaze fixated on the register's glass table.
Julia searched with her eyes “And, uhmm… Do you have any tiny gift bags?”
The clerk showed her their selection, and she picked the little black and white pouch. Julia found that what the Graves Siblings liked, was actually oddly predictable.
What they didn't like seemed to be the hard part for her to guess.
She grabbed the bag and the ribbons, paid with a few loose coins, and left.
Julia already knew there was a little street bench she could use nearby, so she quickly made her way over there, and sat down.
She placed the open pouch on her lap, and with as much love and care as she could, took both of the chocolate bunnies out of their enclosure.
She hadn't realized they were melted together in the back.
“Isn't that fitting?” Julia supposed she sounded bitter, but her face was smiling.
Maybe, Andrew and Ashley would have to break them to eat them, but Julia decided to let them be stuck together.
Carefully she grabbed the green ribbon, and placed it on the taller bunny's neck.
She spun it around, one two three times, until she felt satisfied with the look of it.
Then Julia did the same with the pink ribbon to the smaller bunny.
There was a small side of Julia that was sure, nobody had ever been this gentle with Ashley before.
She felt a little sad, as she placed them inside the darkness of the pouch together, but at least they had each other, right.
And maybe she should have done this before today, but, she hadn't felt like it.
Procrastination was a sign of anxiety, or something like that, right?
Julia decided it was best not to tell them that.
She quickly stood up, and made her way to their apartment.
Julia absentmindedly remembered her sister's voice, telling her her boyfriend should have been the one coming to her, and not the other way around.
“...Who cares?”
She kept her gaze fixed on the ground, looking at the cracks on the pavement, and at those little bits of rock that seemed to shine for no reason.
She stopped in automatic in front of their building.
Julia recognized it from the one time she had visited it with Andrew before dating, and for the myriad of times she had rejected coming here with Ashley.
There was something deeply scary to little girl her, about whatever was living together, with little girl Ashley.
But now, it felt almost reassuring, because if Andrew had invited her back here, even after the disaster that had been her first visit to his apartment, then surely some improvement there must have been, right
Hopefully.
Julia looked up, and for a second, she felt the back of her hairs stand up, as if she were a cat.
There, right above her, was Ashley peeking through their balcony.
Ashley waved, her mouth was pursed into a tight line, and the movement was oddly stiff, but Julia was pretty sure it was a wave.
Julia shily waved back, Ashley looked taken back for a moment. It made her wince. And just as mysteriously as she had appeared, Ashley disappeared back into her apartment.
Julia nodded to herself, her resolve to get up there, and hand Ashley her chocolate bunny grew stronger, and more defined.
She went up the stairs, all the way to the Graves’s floor. She knocked on their door, trying to ignore the obvious spots of humidity on it.
“Hey, Julia” Andrew opened the door, and invited her inside.
“Hi, Andrew” Julia tried to smile through her anxiety.
“You” Ashley said, walking from their balcony towards the entrance door.
“Me!”
Andrew already looked tense. He began “I was thinking-”
Julia was going to have to interrupt him, she felt bad, but if she didn't do it now, it was never going to get done.
The words exploded out of Julia’s mouth “I'm sorry, Andrew, I don't want to be rude, but here you go!”
And she opened the little black and white pouch to reveal the duet of chocolate bunnies.
“Wait, you got me something too?”
“Wait, you got her something too?”
Okay, not exactly the reactions Julia was hoping to get, after she presented them with her little gift, but hey, it was better than nothing, right.
Ashley got the bunnies out of the bag. She held onto it with her left one, and on the right she latched onto the chocolates.
Ashley held onto their gift with gripped hands, the bones in her hands showing through her paper white skin, like she was afraid somebody was going to take it away from her.
“It’s my gift too, Ashley” Andrew said, he had this tone of voice, like he was warning his sister of something “At least let me look at it too…”
Ashley turned to look at him, her grip tensed once more before she finally released “Fine.”
She handed it over to Andrew, Julia had found she could seldomly read Andrew's expressions, even when he was distant, even when he wasn't, whatever was actually going through her boyfriend’s mind was mostly a mystery to her.
“Thank you for the gift, Julia” But her stomach still went wild with butterflies, and something akin to the anxiety of a panic attack, whenever he smiled at her like that.
So it was all worth it, really.
Life was usually boring, and gray, and more miserable than not. So Julia thought, she deserved to feel alive too sometimes.
She made sure her sleeves weren't slipping too low down her arms, Ashley gave her that look that let her know, she Knew.
Julia gave both of the siblings a tentative smile “So did you like them? They reminded me of you guys when I saw them, soo… thought it would be a nice idea! Look, even the ribbons match you guys’s eyecolours.”
Andrew opened his mouth, but as Julia had gotten rather used to, Ashley shouted something in his place.
“Of course they look cute! They look like me!” And she unceremoniously bit an ear off the green rabbit.
“You little shit! That was my gift” Andrew ripped the bunnies out of Ashley's hands, and bit the head off the pink one, leaving barely anything for the ribbon to keep clinging to.
Ashley dramatically gasped “You monster!”
And before Andrew could retort, Julia’s laughter was already filling up every brim and corner of their tiny and moldy apartment.
“What are you laughing at!?” Ashley turned to yell at her.
Julia felt her face and hands getting cold, oh she must have done something wrong here, but still, she couldn't stop laughing.
She choked out, between ragged breaths, and giggles “I'm sorry- I'm sorry-! You guys are so funny, I'm sorry!”
Ashley eyed her weirdly, putting both hands on her hips “Amused, are we?”
“Ashley…” That tone of warning on Andrew's tongue once more.
“You know, I might have something for you too. It’s in our room” Ashley practically barked out her words, and Julia felt like a tiny cornered mouse all over again.
Ashley scarcely made her way towards the siblings’s shared room.
Juliad watched her disappear. She had always been told she looked too tense, too scared, too unaware, like she was expecting a piano to fall from the sky and hit her some day, any day.
Julia couldn't understand how to not look like that, she couldn't really remember a time she didn't look like that. Childhood was blurry, amongst many other things.
“Ah!” She squeaked.
Julia was pulled out of her black-void spacing out, by a big and reassuring, but deadly cold hand on her shoulder, right above her pointy bones.
“Don't be scared” Andrew told her with a warm smile on his lips “That's just Ashley's unnecessarily convoluted way of inviting you to our room.”
“Ah!” Julia perked up. This was the farthest she had ever gotten with Ashley “Really?”
“Would I ever lie to you?” Andrew made a show of dramatically placing his right hand on top of his heart, his left hand abandoning her arm, to be held up beside his face instead.
“Would you?” Julia poked her tongue out at him, and grabbed onto the sleeve of his sweater.
Julia had always appreciated that Andrew didn't question her, about why she jumped at every sudden noise, or why she began trembling, and got lightheaded, whenever a random person approached her.
She couldn't quite figure out if he understood her, sometimes she felt like he did, sometimes she felt wholly distant from him, but Julia felt accepted by Andrew, and that was far more than she had ever dared ask for.
“Would I?” He grinned at her.
Andrew's eyes went to his right, from just the corner of his eyes, and in what was too calculated of a move, to be just a spur of the moment thing, he leaned down and placed a kiss on her right temple.
Julia felt her face go red hot in embarrassment.
Andrew quickly parted from her.
“Let's hurry. You know… how Ashley gets.”
“Ye-yes” She nodded, passing her fingers through her collarbones. The evening was going so well, she didn't want to ruin it last second.
Andrew nodded at her, and Julia nodded back.
They quickly made their way towards Ashley.
Honestly, Julia didn't know what was so weird about sharing a room with your sibling when you lived in such a tiny apartment, but her own sister was always complaining about it
They were greeted by Ashley once they finally passed the threshold.
Ashley was sitting like a lotus flower on top of Andrew’s bed, her mouth in a flat line, she looked as unimpressed as one could be “Taking your sweet time, were you, Andy?”
Julia pursed her lips.
“Don't call me that, Ashley.” Julia could have sworn she heard her boyfriend growling under his breath.
There was something to be said, about how his sister seemed to be the only one capable of eliciting such a response out of him.
“Hmmp” Ashley rolled her eyes “Whatever. Andrew.” She stood up from the bed.
Ashley walked over to the little desk they had pinned against the wall.
Julia took a second to look at it. It was a little cute, how obvious everything in this room was.
On top of the table were Andrew's, very repetitive, and very thick, Sociology books (Julia had asked to see them once, he had complied, and once had been enough) and by their side, a bunch of little, obviously hand-made, Valentine’s cards, littered with crayon drawings and little bunny stickers.
Ashley opened the little drawer and quickly grabbed a piece of paper from the inside.
“Here” She shoved it into Julia’s unprepared hands “You get one of my original masterpieces, aren't you such a lucky one?”
Julia enthusiastically nodded along, she thought she looked kinda stupid, but she didn't really know how else to signal she was paying attention.
Ashley placed her hand on top of her lips “Yeah, you better appreciate it, you know, there's only two people in the whole world who possess one of my masterpieces. You are the second, look at you go, Jewels.”
Julia had only once asked Ashley why she called her Jewels, apparently it was because it sounded like Jules, nobody had ever called her Jules, at all, but she accepted it.
“And the other person is me” Andrew said, giving his sister a blank stare “Highly exclusive club, truly.”
“Ah…” Julia finally gave herself a moment to look at her newly acquired gift.
It was an old, crumpled up piece of paper, surely belonging to a very old notebook Ashley or Andrew had once owned.
The date scribbled on top with black crayon, was Valentine's Day, of a decade ago, and below it, what she could only assume was Leyley's rendition of herself, Julia, and Andrew.
A big yellow heart next to Jiulia, an even bigger one next to Andrew, and no hearts for little Leyley.
There was a big tear in the paper.
Suddenly the memories came flooding in.
Of all the times Ashley had asked her to come to their place to hang out, and how she had rejected her, every single time, each time with a different and new, infallible, excuse.
Of how Valentine’s had been the last time Ashley had even attempted to ask.
Julia felt her eyes get watery, and the bridge of her nose tensing, and-
No.
Julia refused to ever cry in front of Ashley again.
Ashley would not let her live it down ever, and she did not want Andrew seeing her in such a state, while in front of his sister, Julia had this fear, that he wouldn't pick her over Ashley even in those moments.
Julia held the paper, as delicately as she possibly could.
“Thank you, Ashley” Were those the right words to say right now, probably not, Julia never knew what the right words to say ever were “I didn't think, you would still have things from this long ago.”
Andrew sighed “You wouldn't believe the trash she clings to.”
“Bite me, Andrew” Ashley sat back in the bed, both her arms crossed over her chest.
The atmosphere was awkward, or maybe it was Julia who felt tension in everything, she had never been able to tell.
But she gulped down, and decided to make the extra effort. Julia found herself subconsciously reaching for Andrew's sleeve, like a little girl who needed help to cross the scary street, then she took two steps forward, with Andrew behind her, and she sat down on his bed.
Ashley stared at them with distrusting eyes, Andrew looked nervous too, but he sat down together with her.
This bed was definitely too small for three people. Julia felt it was kinda small for any boy over the age of 12, but she wasn't going to get into that right now, just the thought of Andrew's terrible parents made her want to scoff.
Up close, Julia realized Ashley had backed herself into a corner, there was more space, even if just a little, but she was huddled against the wall.
Julia breathed, and huddled in closer to the wall in solidarity.
Ashley looked at her like she had grown a third eye all of a sudden.
Ashley had always looked at her like this, even when they had been little, and Andy had asked them to sit together with his little sister during lunch time.
Ashley had always looked like she didn't believe anybody wanted to be near her, and thinking back on the drawing she had just received, Julia supposed she really couldn't blame her.
Julia looked down at the drawing again, and bit the insides of her cheek so hard they bled.
“So, do you actually like drawing?” The question fell out of her mouth.
“Eh?” Ashley's mouth opened. She looked like she was expecting to get hit more than asked anything.
“I mean, do you actually enjoy it, like as a hobby, or is it just for the Holiday?” Julia wasn't going to back down, she was genuinely interested here.
“I” Ashley looked to her brother, she reminded Julia of a lost puppy, “...I do. It’s fun. And I’m great at it, as you can obviously see.”
The attempts at boosting fell flat, but Julia still smiled.
This was definitely the farthest she had ever gotten with Ashley.
Julia accommodated her posture on the tiny bed, shifting just that little bit closer to Ashley's side.
“I like how the crayons look!” And it was true “Do you also use different things?” Julia didn't know much about art, but she could at least try to be earnest, with what little she did understand.
“Auhmm” Ashley looked to the side “I use these things made out of what the pencil tips are made of, and I erase around them-”
“You are so bad at explaining. I'm just gonna show it to Julia” Andrew said, standing up from his bed.
And all of sudden, she was getting a run down of almost -There were some older drawings Andrew didn't want her to see, for some reason- all of Ashley's drawings.
And time moved by so quickly.
They sat together on Andrew's tidy bed, which somehow kept getting messier and messier with each hour passed, and at some point it turned into 2AM, and Julia didn't even know how she had felt so welcomed, to spend an entire evening and night at their place.
She looked at Andrew, and for once, she felt confident enough to guess something about him; In this case, that he definitely did not want to walk her back home at 2AM.
Julia turned to Ashley by her left “I remember” She began quietly, Julia felt like she was confessing a secret “That when you drew this you invited me to a sleepover with you, and I said no. Could I take it back now?”
“Now? 12 years later?” Ashley almost looked impressed.
“Yes. Tonight, actually.”
Ashley and Andrew shared a look. Julia arrived at the conclusion, that she would never know anybody who could read her mind like that.
Then Ashley turned her focus back to her.
“...”
“Yeah”
She smiled.
Julia shared a furtive smile with Andrew too.
“Lucky you, Andrew” Ashley said “You won't have to walk her back home at 2 in the morning, and get jumped by a drunk guy in the middle of the street.”
Andrew stretched like a relaxed cat “Lucky me indeed, Ashley.”
Somehow, the atmosphere didn't feel so tense anymore, and Julia felt like her head was finally above water level for the first time in her life.
They only fell asleep after 6AM, and Julia only got back to her place until after 2PM.
Julia felt entirely self-satisfied.
Maybe this holiday wasn't so bad after all.
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