#considering the Everything. but also its only. 10. i wouldve thought it would be more than that. bc like. craft exhaustion and such
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making my tags from the last post their own post, actually, because i went and did RESEARCH for this. SO BASICALLY
according to the wiki loop CANNOT crit in phase one
i dont know if their attack buff actually does anything (id have to fight them to check) since their attacks are based on percentage of your hp. BUT even if it did, they can only buff once per loop in phase one, meaning they can only do one buffed big attack per loop
regular attack does 10% hp (15% with attack buff), big attack does 17% hp (~25% with attack buff)
big attack is every third turn
guarding halves damage, halving the regular attack to 5% and the big attack to 8.5%
you heal 6% every turn with memory of a journey
those three turns where their attack is buffed aside, you can just stand there and guard and only lose a grand total of 0.5% of your hp for every three turns
this also does not take into account attack speed this is just assuming they both attack at the exact same rate. attack speed is gonna vary by level but i opened my act 6 save to check and my sif is level 76 and has 186 attack speed. they also have the scissors equipped which lower attack speed and i. cant unequip them. so. theres that too
so if youre fast enough (high level enough and dont have the scissors equipped like me. oops) you can straight up outheal all of loops attacks given enough turns + just standing there and guarding
loop does not want to hurt siffrin. thank you for coming to my ted talk
#talk tag#isat#isat spoilers#in stars and time#in stars and time spoilers#i THINK thats everything. yeesh#also not putting it in the post bc its not relevant but when i was looking stats and stuff up on the wiki#i noticed the only difference between regular level 99 sif and act 5 level 99 sif was. attack speed#act 5 sif is 200 and regular level 99 sif is 210. act 5 sif is slower. which is really interesting to me. like it makes sense#considering the Everything. but also its only. 10. i wouldve thought it would be more than that. bc like. craft exhaustion and such#idk. its not relevant to this post literally at all i just thought it was interesting LMAO#... wait this also doesnt take into account the 10% chance to inflict slow loops basic attack has#im not doing more math though. fuck it. that can be the compensation for the fucking scissors#compensation??? is the wrong word i think. yk. balancing out the scales or w/e#isatposting
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mild rant? mostly thoughts :)
yk ive just not been a fan of how quickly my mood and possible depression is flipping from eberythings fine and im only a little stressed but its ok! to jesus fuck let me rot (projects and deadlines are suddenly piled up and its overwhelming, but i also feel like this when i have nothing i can do)
i try to keep on a shower schedule cause of my class times (i have night classes half of the days so i shower on my off days) but it means i gotta be nasty for a day on sunday till i shower that night. and i never have the willpower to go to the studio feeling nasty,,, even if it wouldve been great to get work done and satiate the restlessness i get from being in my dorm all day
but i didnt and now im plagued with guilt and more stress/ anxiety yippees
on another note my roommate is really REALLY good at finding ALL of my triggers for anxiety or fight or flight responses. so far they nailed using my mirror/being TOO close to my belongings without asking (they eventually asked and i gave permission out of being nice but i severely dislike it and it makes me hyperaware of everything she does when i hear her close to my dresser). they got my i will tense up and not breathe till its over response to alarm sounds (i hate them theyre incredibly anxiety inducing and i always wake up before my alarm usually out of fear. thankfully now my alarms a last resort/reminder of time if i dont wake up early). and!! they let the door slam (boo loud noises), are constantly on a call they often dont wear earbuds for and talk really loudly half the time, or is on call past 12 am (i feel intrusive and also please i cant sleep if youre on call)
theres also other general icks that are hopefully getting better? im noticing less of smth that i hate that they do (its a not cleaning after yourself type deal) but it could just be coincidence
oh also im trying to apply for jobs (remote part-times or internships) and frankly im scared. the reason it took me so long to get a job in highschool was also straight fear and anxiety lmao
i would love money tho (pssst i have commissions open :D)
OW SHARP RINGING NOISE WHERE DID YOU COME FROM????????? ALL OF THE WHITE NOISE DISSAPEARED AND ITS ONLY THAT
anyways i got another strike of hypersensitive skin??? no idea what causes it but it made the underneath of my forearm feel like i scraped it across concrete. 0/10 i didnt have a pleasant showering experience
oh on a better note being so far removed from my family and the fact we basically never call or text has been quite freeing
its like when i was actually at public highschool and had agency over myself in a way i didnt have when my mom was around (basically her presence was usually STRESS)
on a lesser note i havent been talking with my two other friends (ill call em the trio, them plus me) and its been kinda radio silence from everyone? i havent exactly been great either but my infrequent requests for vcs are usually ignored or not responded too which sucks. it makes me more paranoid than id like to be
our time difference definitely makes it way harder too tho, im ahead by a few hours. ik weve gone months without talking before then picked it right back up, but im always scared during the radio silence anyways
im always scared and curious abt other ppls opinions on me, usually the ppl i consider friends. ik one of my friends likes me? but their friends (the 4 of us will be rooming together next year, theyre also technically my friends but my usually point of contact with them is through my friend) i cant tell how much they like me? its probably my unfamiliarity with them but it makes me nervous for no reason
anyways if you actually read all of this, sorry for taking away your time? i reccomend soft gepard x sampo (hsr) fics to soothe the mind, theyre cute.
also hey haha if youre one of the two friends, literally the nickels, are reading this? erase it from your mind please and thanks
#maybe thinking abt giving your cat a signed consent form to allow them to eat your corpse should you die and the baby has no food#isnt exactly a normal and perfectly sane thought#but what if the baby needs it bc someone tried to be mean abt it :(#jesus ok maybe i should fight with my mom again for some diagnosis#i got told that my level of anxiety is totally normal and i just need to deal with it
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BMT (bacon mettuce tomato) from that ask game forrrrrr..... persona AND sgt frog. double whammy
BACON METTUCE TOMATO
B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.
in persona … i would most likely never have thought of sumitaba in my life if not for the fandom. they r just neat. uhhhhhh. lets see surely theres some pair of sgt frog characters i never wouldve considered interacting or smth if not for some external influence. Most notably kurudoro i probably wouldnt habe really thought about them if not for the fandom either but its hard to remember, but let’s also give a shout out to some pairs ive seen interacting One Time- i THINK i saw one (1) piece of ship fanart of bariri and keroro? if im remembering correctly? And also hark ! to the fanart of dororo and putata interacting. iirc. rich kid swag
M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.
EVERY character I LOVE friendship 😌😊☺️🍃🌱💅❤️😌🤭🍀🌸⭐️🌈✨😚 ok im done now. Anyway for real though I would like to be friends with all of the phantom thieves we would be besties . but i wanna hang out w yusuke and futaba especially. but like, separately. the violence when they are combined is funny but would be too intense for me. Also, Eikichi Persona 2. And maybe Maya Persona 2 we wouldn’t necessarily be close friends but she’s nice.
if dororo n koyuki were real we would be best friends “u n dororo n koyuki or me n u” yes. i would enjoy hanging out with fuyuki as well.
T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?
Ok well first of all lists of immutable autistic & trans headcanons as long as my arm for both series, but we already know that very well. Other than that uh ….. really die hard thoughts …. akira & futaba are siblings its simply a fact. also that fanart where sumi runs into akechi post p5r and shes the only one who knows hes alive for a while and its kinda just Them is like 85% canon in my brain. Also there is no world post-p5 where akira doesn’t become like… protests georg. if you have an Adult Akira Kurusu concept and hes anything other than not only willing to punch dudes in the face to try and get things to change but actually Actively Doing the closest things to that he can manage: you are just wrong.
sgt frog headcanons that r Just Canon to me …….. Aside frm the list of whos autistic keroro Super Has ADHD but that really kind of is just canon. not on purpose but no one in the history of mankind has adhd coded a frog harder than this. There’s not much else I can think of this is the worst thing to ever happen to me 😔 I could reiterate my trans headcanons in great detail but we’d be here all night and the Sgt Frog 10 Years Later au in my brain is still only half-formed (its my job, my DUTY, with everything i like to imagine what the characters are like a while post-canon, especially if theres kids who can grow up or other clear room for further life development, but also there’s a lot of factors to consider to figure details out.) So I’m just gonna end by talking about Kururu’s older siblings because we as a people need to talk more about them. I think that personality wise they’re both like. somewhere in between kururu and saburo. They like to Cause Problems On Purpose more than saburo who mostly just Doesn’t Prevent problems but not as much as kururu whod probably blow up a galaxy if it was funny enough, but they’re also like, Outwardly Nice, less like kururu and more like saburo. Theyre sooo good at acting friendly and sweet and normal that you can miss how extremely petty and selfish they’re being and all the problems they are causing. This is just based on 1 clip in the anime where shipepe sends keroro a card for new years or something like that? and part of it goes kinda like “Just a funny thing…. you know what that happens to remind me of? That time I bought you ramen in elementary school…. I still remember exactly how much money you owe me <3” anyway tbats what they’re like to me.
#hehe thx <3#basilask#p5r#< spoiler tag for th 1 mention of akechi being alive post royal LOL#beneath the mask#keron wa uchuu ichi… tabun#i expressed thoughts.
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You can't just drop that "I read Forces Multiplied" bomb on us and not give a ten page written reaction.
[cracks knuckles] if u insist
nicky cant drive hc: destroyed. rip. also i loved how andy and nile stole those sports cars and were being badass and driving off the bridge & meanwhile joe and nicky were just absolutely vibing in the van
'heres the thing about power: people who have it think they deserve it' [shot of police car] i see u greg
5 whole panels being dedicated to booker not being able to unlock his door. booker not even seeing noriko sitting RIGHT THERE in the window at first. incredible
noriko being 24/7 horny was surprising. like wow all of the stuff i saw she did out of context was 100% equally horny in context as it was out of context. love that for her
i didnt think the 'andy + slavery' thing was handled as badly as everyone made it out to be when telling me about it. tho from the way it was talked about i had kind of figured the conflict between andy and nile re: slavery would be really racially charged (esp considering nile is a black american and would obvs have Thoughts on the subject in that regard) but like,, done in a cringey 'a-white-guy-obviously-wrote-it' kind of way? but it wasnt that. i mean. it makes sense that andy would be implicit in slavery through the years
i mean, like she says, is that not what people just did to each other in the aftermath of battles for thousands of years? and i really like how its pointed out that it was what she was raised with (in the beginning when you see her put shackles on that guy after the battle) but she also accepts responsibility for it and acknowledges that it was wrong and not just 'what people did'.
i like how from her expressions you can kind of tell baby andy knew it was off but she sets those feelings aside bc she felt angry. it explains how she felt but didnt make her out to be blameless in it. plus i mean. i dont know, the fact that andy was involved in a lot of morally shady stuff for 7000 years is not that wild for me. if you live that long youre just Going to be involved in some shit, and she didnt even have other immortals with her as positive community influences, she literally just did whatever the fuck she wanted for thousands of years
'i was worshipped as a god once' i mean, yeah no shit she wouldve been involved in some seriously fucked up stuff, gods were fucking scary back in the day
tldr it could use some polish but it wasnt that bad
tho everything people said about moose being boring was unfortunately a little true. sorry king i tried to be interested in you
joe and nicky writing verbal fanfiction about nile and moose was iconic. 'you seeing that?' 'i am definitely seeing that'
it was also extremely funny bc that was like 60% of their contribution to the whole comic, besides kidnapping copley. they came, they wrote some fanfic, they left. kings. at least in tog1 they had an excuse to be useless bc they got kidnapped
joe just found out his old friend who he thought was dead is alive (and also probably wants to murder them) and instead of investigating with andy he stopped to help nile up. champ.
nicky shooting noriko through andy was cool. rip to the concept since it wont happen in tog2
wanna see mr ejiofor deliver this line
on that note imo copley was. weirdly enough, more interesting in fm than in tog1. to me at least. the fact that andy let him live and he was so haunted by what had happened that he came back and sought them out despite knowing they would likely kill him for it bc he wanted to not only make up for what hed done but also to tell them what theyd done for the world was admittedly more interesting than andy just kind of drafting him to the cause and him going 'okie'
i like how nicky was drawn in this one. in opening fire he looks like a blob man but in fm he looks more like a very nice grampa with a very good dye job
'theres no pain like a broken heart' andy 🥺
noriko implying andy's never drowned. .. .idk about that one, she musta drowned sometime
joe and nicky came, they waxed poetic about nile's love life, they waxed poetic about grog, and then they left.
sports bras being a reason humanity is good. i mean..... okay, yeah.
i mean. wild but you cant exactly tell her shes wrong
i liked how noriko telling andy that their purpose is to make people suffer coincides with joe and nicky finding out that they actually did good all those years
joenicky in opening fire: jail for booker jail for booker for 100 years
joenicky when copley tells them he knows where booker is: WE'LL KILL YOU WHERE IS HE
joenicky when copley comes back: if your vibes come off as even remotely rancid we Will destroy you
joenicky 2 minutes later when copley helped them find booker: he made up some ground :)))) <3 lov you j cops
theyre forgiving af
moose: how old are you?? a hundred??? a thousand???
nile [vine voice]: I M 2 7 ?
alright andy you got me there
joe texts like my aunt
i dont know why noriko drowning andy in that car tickled me. Bad And Naughty Andromaches Get Put In The Pear Wiggler To Atone For Their Crimes.
the drowning sequence was cool
copley trying to talk to andy while she was like o_o at him was great
ive hit the picture limit but id seen that panel where nicky goes 'forgive me' as he kills a guy out of context and it was HILARIOUSLY anticlimactic for me to discover that there was literally no context to it. nicky just apologizes to random people he kills. i thought that guy was someone he knew or something. nope its just Some Guy that nicky didnt know from adam
nile's complaint that andy was especially brutal to the guys on the boat... i mean. . , how exactly does one kill a man with an axe and not be brutal about it?
it was funny how noriko kissed andy and the only people who seemed surprised by that were nile and also andy
nicky and joe's complete non-reaction to finding out noriko is alive And Evil Now is endlesly funny. they just left her on that boat and neither cared. i get book and nile not caring but joe and nicky knew her, and they just have 0 input on the subject of what to do with her
pinstripe suit guy!
joe and nicky and booker packing up and leaving with nile
andy blowing up at nile was A Moment tho
i dont know, i get why people didnt like the ending but its. .. . it makes more sense in the comicverse. bc the squad doesnt really. .. interact outside of jobs? i mean, think of the moon landing story in ttt. that was booker and joe and nicky doing a job and andy only showed up a for a couple minutes after it was done. or the brunch in the first issue of opening fire. the squad arent as tight in the comic, and andy often seems to do her own thing outside of work, so andy saying 'i dont want to do work anymore' and the squad being like 'alright bye then' makes more sense in this universe than the movie one
also i feel like greg was Trying to set up a thing where nile becomes the Leader of The Squad after andy dies but like. its not very well done since. . . i mean, nile hasnt spoken to booker since opening fire, (and she only knew him A Day). and shes known joe and nicky all that time, but there isnt really anything that indicates that they have any relationship at all, much less one that's grown. in all the comicverse the only time nile and nicky speak is in FM, and in that scene nicky tells nile about noriko. nile goes from someone who needs to be set aside to have background knowledge explained to her to being the Leader of the group with nothing in between. it kind of... comes out of nowhere.
on the other hand tho... i felt really bad for andy thru the whole thing. well, i always felt bad for andy, but in this one she seemed so miserable, especially since it really felt like none of the others actually.... cared about her. when noriko came back no one asked andy how she was doing (big question ik, but it wouldve showed they cared at least), nobody ever expressed any concern for her, no one even really seemed to want to be around her. in opening fire everyone was more distant than in the movie of course, but there were little moments where she would joke with joe, or nicky would try and comfort her, or stuff like that, but in FM it really felt like they just didnt really care about her. & in opening fire it felt a lot like andy's relationship with nile breathed some new life into her, but in FM it felt like all they did was argue. i get theyre not *as* close in the comics but it really felt like the only person who cared about andy at all was noriko (which was probably also how andy felt) but it just seemed to come out of nowhere. honestly i was reading and i was honestly agreeing with andy that she might just be better off if she did just die. opening fire, on the other hand, never make me feel that way
tho everyone made it sound like when the squad split up it was one of those cursed 'the found family leaves each other at the end of the journey' tropes. but guys i mean,,, this is the second installment out of three. that isnt the End. theyll come back in the third one and Dramatically Reunite to fight some baddies (probably those 'others' noriko mentioned). im guessing yitzhak fits into that too somehow.
anyways it wasnt That Bad but it made me kind of sad and the only Sweet Found Family vibes in it were when they saved booker. also they shouldve beefed up that nilemoose romance, it underwhelmed me. 6.5/10
i also ABSOLUTELY understand all of greg's comments about how you couldnt make FM directly into a movie, he always said that it had no plot and. i get it now. it really didnt have a plot sdfghjkl
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okay one big post to get the finale out of my system! it's been lovely reading all of your analyses and reactions, and looking at all your amazing gifs and edits :')
fair warning: this is going to be so stinking long omfg
the things i enjoyed:
vincenzo remaining an anti-hero through and through, especially the fact that he didn't hold back at all when it came to myunghee and hanseok's death. he gave them a taste of their own medicine and then some forreal, their deaths were brutal but oddly satisfying, and i'm saying this as someone who usually hates violence/gore. throughout the show, they've always hinted at what he was Truly Capable Of and boy did we get to see it
vincenzo fumbling in hanseok's house and not being his usual self – a lot of people thought it was ooc, which i understand! i felt like that was the Point, to show that for once, he's not the invincible mafia consigliere that everyone thinks he is. what he did to the man who killed his mother and the army of security guards was a reaction, but this is the first time he's flustered, caught at a disadvantage, and faced with the very real possibility that he might lose somebody incredibly important to him. idk it made him more human to me
vincenzo literally not hesitating for even 0.1 seconds to fold his entire body around hers when he thought hanseok was going to shoot again – yeah that whole bit made my heart clench i feel like a crazy person i won't get over it
the chayenzo hospital scene... my god it was so tender my heart broke. the laugh they both shared, out of sheer relief that she's okay. the little joke about paying for the private room. the way not much was being said, but everything was being said at once. the way they looked at each other, as if it wouldnt ever be enough :( the quiet acceptance that this is their last night together, and that he's going to have to kill a bunch of people after this, but for now they have this. for however brief.
chayoung being chayoung – her big ass personality at the courtroom at the end after winning ms oh's case. her hopping around in those heels, looking elegant and sleek, mocking the hell out of rich conglomorates. she's in her element again and it made me so, so happy to see. i absolutely adore her, she's everything really. after all that loss and the whole ordeal, i'm glad she's able to return to what she does best: putting capitalists back in their place
mr lee being Very Much Not Dead – idk how i wouldve been able to handle it after witnessing hanseo's death like im glad he got the chance to be a dad
the kiss – my god....
the things i didn't like:
hanseo's death – lmao is it even a surprise... say what you will about his death being foreshadowed, but i really just hated hated it. i hate that hanseok won this one. i hate that hanseo worked so hard to redeem himself, only to lose it all. i hate that he was given a taste of what a real family was like, and then having it taken away so cruelly. even though i said above that i didn't mind that vincenzo was ooc at the mansion, i was still screaming at the screen because there were plenty of opportunities for the situation to be reversed. i don't necessarily blame vincenzo for hanseo's death, but i do wish that they had a funeral scene for him. i wish they acknowledged his sacrifice, and how pivotal he was in turning the tables. if not for hanseo, vincenzo really couldn't have pulled any of this off, from the interpol tipoff to the tracking device in the watch. idc idc hanseo is in malta rn, enjoying the sun and the beach, going to therapy, and teaching the local kids how to play hockey even though there's no ice :(
chayoung being bedridden the whole finale – like... NAH lmao this aint it chief... if things went my way, she wouldve gotten out of the hospital depite her injury and dealt with myunghee before handing her off to vincenzo. i loved their animosity for each other, and i wanted chayoung to be the one at myunghee's apartment waiting for her, rubbing it into her face. i wanted chayoung to verbally finish myunghee with that sharp ass tongue of hers and really dump a load of salt on her wounds. then vincenzo could do whatever the hell he wanted. you could argue that the show is called Vincenzo but i really dont care lmao it started with chayoung avenging her dad and she should've been able to strike the final blow. also what was her big second party? are we really just going to ignore her capacity for evil? after all that moral work done, after that time she spent coming to terms with using evil to combat evil, we're just going to... keep her bedridden? park jaebum u will pay for this
vincenzo losing his family – besides hanseo's death, i think this was what i hated the most from the ending. the start of the show showed us vincenzo's departure from the mafia with the very clear intention of Not Returning. the capo died, his loyalties lie with no one, paolo can suck it. throughout the show, we see him repeat over and over that he wants to get the gold and skip off to malta to enjoy a peaceful life there, while reflecting/repenting for the things he's done. vincenzo was gearing up for a lifetime of solitude. the whole point of the show was for him to find a real family and have a real chance at happiness. park jaebum really said FUCK THAT! we're gonna have him ditch the family that he built from scratch with the love of his life and then make him return to the family that tried to kill him AND make him the capo... pjb said we're gonna separate vincenzo from the family that accepts his past and sees it as a strength and not a weakness. the family that was formed out of solidarity, the family that he fought for and fought alongside with blood, sweat and tears. not to mention the goddaughter of his? sorry i would laugh if it didn't actually rile me up so bad
vincenzo not being able to come back to korea – i've said this in another post of mine, but given that he is The Vincenzo Cassano with all those resources at his disposal (guillotine file, mr ahn/mr cho/the chief etc.), the fact that he isnt even able to stay in korea for 30 fuckin minutes after finishing hanseok was ridiculous. the whole police chase was dumb as hell considering that the show has managed to stop politicians and mf presidential candidates from going after him like ? huh LMAO park jaebum had an on-demand pigeon army in this show and Yet he can't stop like 10 suddenly-righteous policemen. another big ass HUH
chayenzo (here we go...):
NOPE! i've reflected on the ending and decided that i'm going to be petty and salty for a while more before coming to terms with it
i can rationalise and try to be positive and tell myself that their love is enduring can transcend space and time and that in due time, they will find their way back to each other, and i have no doubt that they will because they're one soul in two bodies. it's quite literally canon that they're soulmates.
but let me wallow for a second
here we have two people who have done questionable and terrible things in their past coming together, growing together, grieving together, fighting together... you get the gist of it. you have two people who have found a home in each other. two people who, for all intents and purposes, were about to live in a whole lot of bitterness and solitude if not for each other and the life they built together (chayoung didn't have friends like that, and her family is gone too). to separate them like that at the very end is cruel. i know chayoung and vincenzo are mature and incredible and will be able to function without the other next to them. i know that they will still excel as lawyers and will defeat evil with their underhand methods the way they do so well but my god are they going to feel the absence and miss each other
my point is that they shouldn't have to. from what i could tell, they can't even communicate on a regular basis bc he'll be tracked and whatnot, hence the postcards. a postcard every month is a poor substitute for all those nights they stayed up drinking makgeolli and celebrating their wins. its a shitty replacement for coffee dates and fist bumps and all the moments in between. after everything they've been through, after literally fighting to death for their family, they don't deserve this. they don't deserve to meet up once a year for a couple of hours. they don't deserve pockets of time in malta or korea, their life in a perpetual countdown to when they're going to see each other next
they both deserve love and some semblance of peace (finally finally). they both deserve to have someone to come home to after a hard day of work, because doing what they do cannot be easy. they both deserve a family, deserve to have someone next to them that accepts their past and would embrace their future. they both deserve a hand to hold and a shoulder to lean on. i know they will still be It for each other despite the distance, i just wish the distance didn't even exist in the first place bc its stupid and cruel and their love shouldnt have to be proven or tested with time and space. let them stay together. let them grow together. let them be.
side note: song joongki and jeon yeobeen need another project together idc take it up with god
tl;dr: park jaebum u will be paying for my therapy bills
#vincenzo#tvn vincenzo#this was cathartic#if u made it to the end here's ur kiss#this is more for archival purposes than anything#also this is what happens when my best friends arent caught up yet and i have no outlet
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danny phantom season 2, ep 12-16 thoughts! these episodes, in comparison to the first 10 or so, felt way more laid back and low-stakes, which I appreciate sometimes. I didn't appreciate how lazy jack's halfa design was in masters of time, it made me so annoyed I redesigned it. 👎🏻 u_u
see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3
-'picking a fight with me and my upgraded form!' 'you upgraded to a mullet?' DANNNNY. YOU CANT SAY THAT TO TECHNUS. YOUVE HAD A MULLET TWICE NOW ('fun' split danny, and evil future danny BOTH HAD THEM). I HAVE THE RECEIPTS.
-danny seeing technus hurting valerie and yelling I AM GOING TO BREAK YOU IN HALF. SAMEEEE <3
-axion labs is now a part of vladco. FUCK YOU VLAD. hes not even really IN this episode, but just thought I'd throw out a nice fuck you anyway.
-'capable of blasting a single person into space in (2) minutes!' tucker. that would kill someone. i mean yeah they might get to space, but theres NO WAY THEY WOULDNT CATCH FIRE, OR THEIR ORGANS WOULDNT LIQUIFY BECAUSE OF THE STRAIN. THEY'D PROBABLY PASS OUT BEFORE THEN, BUT. ...no, okay, I get why vlad bought this company. this is RIGHT up his alley.
-danny KNOWS VAL DIDNT DO THIS, THAT SOMEONE STOLE THE SUIT. AND SPENDING ALL NIGHT CHATTING WITH HER. <3 and val is a 9TH DEGREE BLACKBELT?? danny's mom is, too!! omg and she hunts ghosts, his parents would love her. and her fav fruit is kumquat bc its a funny word. im so with danny val is amazing. I love her and I Do Not Want To Hear It From Sam.
-I knew danny wanted to be an astronaut, but the bowling tidbit is like. yes give me more useless info abt these characters, I love tiny details that make them feel more human, and im glad hes got hobbies aside from ghost stuff, we dont really see a lot of that!!! (I mean, we knew 'fun' danny from when he split himself in half liked bowling, so obv it makes sense he LIKES it, but hes very GOOD at it. so proud of him, bowling king) val calling him neil armstrong and them teasing each other. LOVE THAT.
-technus you are my favorite grandpa for setting this up. SAM WHY ARE YOU BEING SO CREEPY BE HAPPY FOR YOUR FRIEND!!! STOP SPYING ON THEM!!! who actually cares if technus did 'set them up' together, theyre having fun and enjoy each others company!!! 'you think the universe wants you two to be together?' 'i dunno, but maybe /I/ do!' EXACTLY DANNY!!! SOO TRUE.
-and valerie being happy sam said she wants to try and be happy for them and make room at the lunch table for them. and hugging sam over it. VAL NEEDS MORE FRIENDS.
-VAL GOING AFTER TECHNUS IN HER SUIT WITH (1) MILK, AND (1) TREE BRANCH AND KEYS!!!. I LOVE YOUUUU BEST GIRL. her new suit kicks ass
-dannys like 'HEY IM AN ASTRONAUT :D' AW. ...HES IN SPACE... the fact he's actually intending to give her the ring. with SAMS NAME ON IT?? IM CRINGING DANNY NO. YOU CANT DO THAT...thank god he didnt. thank god valerie cut it off and said they can just stay friends for now. tbh, they both have a lot on their plates!! they obv both still like each other...it can be a future thing!! when she knows about phantom! youre 14 theres no need to rush. I just want her to have friends and be happy :(
-...danny struggles to do (1) pull up. SAME. but all the ghost fighting in phantom form REALLY doesnt carry over at ALL? that sucks
-sam being as fit as she is, is not just a goth. shes a goth jock.
-honey I Shrank Our Kid, One of his Enemies, and his Bully: the episode
-dash's crush on phantom is So Obvious. fitness buddies :) watching them interact always makes me laugh. also, phantom, with PANTS. 'how many costume changes you gonna go through, what is this, vegas??' DASSH DJKSFHASKDF
-MADDIE GOING AFTER THE MOUSE WITH A BROOM, WHAT THE FUCK. AAAH. JUST BUY SOME KIND OF MOUSE TRAP.
-danny likes lime and vinegar chips. which sound very good.
-'our boy finally has the physical prowess of a 60 year old president!' ...poor danny LMAO
-'what's wrong with beauty pageants' oh tucker you sweet naïve child. what ISNT wrong with them. who approved this for a high school?? (I mean, yes. unfortunately child pageants exist, but...) also danny and tucker once again treating the pretty girls like objects. I need to meet the grown man who wrote this, I just want to talk...
-prince aragon's dragon form reminds me of maleficent (color scheme wise) which is always a bonus. considering the episode is called beauty marked, I feel like the sleeping beauty references are deliberate
-sam with the fake fangs. once again her accessories never miss. hate the 'not like other girls, girls who get sucked into this kind of thing are all shallow and all want to be carbon copies' bs tho.
-sam trying to be the Worst Bride, being rude as shit. DORA IS GOING TO GET KILLED. DID YOU MISS THE PART WHERE SHE SAID THE PRINCE WILL HAVE HER HEAD IF YOU ARENT THE IDEAL BRIDE. YOU /KNOW/ DANNY WILL COME SAVE YOU. JUST ACT CHILL UNTIL THEN. even if you were doing fine to get him to take off the crown, consider maybe not letting his poor sister get punished also?? sure, she could also take off the crown and has dragon powers, but did you know that for sure?? dora didnt even really realize it until you guys talked!! (or at least, she was scared to stand up to him. you had no guarantee she would...) but. good for dora. ANOTHER friendly ghost to add to the List :)
-tucker is so under appreciated in his time. if he was doing a tech-based campaign today he'd have a better shot. people in 2004 had NO IDEA how much tech would be a part of our day-to-day lives...altho. tbh if you're going to be running for student council president, maybe you should..focus on things to actually improve the school? since he's going for a tech angle, he could say like, he would be running fundraisers for the schools computers to be upgraded, etc? we've already SEEN he can be good at money-making entrepreneur type stuff!!
-oh my god wait. this episode is JUST YUGIOH?????! A REBORN PHAROH USING A TEENAGER AS A VESSEL?? YESSSSSS
-tucker using his new minion to feed him grapes and carry him. AND LOCUSTS ONTO THE BULLIES. I love how when he's possessed, he gains winged eyeliner.
-this episode is giving me big 'plankton makes everyone in bikini bottom his slaves and build monuments of him from the spongebob movie' vibes. and the pharaoh has a traitor who works for him? VERY big yugioh vibes. aknadin confirmed
-I like that danny is still completely exhausted after using ghostly wail. (still patiently waiting on him to get duplication)
-LOVE the fenton's 80s outfits. I get hes 14 and embarrassed by everything they do because theyre his parents, but. cmon, this is one objectively cool thing theyve done. love 80s fashion.
-...was vlad just standing on that streetlight waiting for danny to come out? how'd he know they'd be coming out the back? how long has he been up there???
-oh, wait, his ecto-acne has flareups? that SUCKS. danny was...well I dont want to say he was LUCKY HE HALF-DIED, but he was lucky his was pretty instant (I'm assuming that had to do with the power/scale of the portals being different?) I remember in the ep we met him, vlad made a point of saying he was stuck in a hospital for a long time, so. that really actually sucks and I feel bad. not that it excuses anything he's done...but like. it does suck.
-vlad being so sure danny wouldnt help him he made it somehow contagious to his friends to make sure he'd get help? danny is a nice boy, he wouldve helped if it was anyone else. the only reason he wouldn't have is because of the shit vlad did to him, on purpose. vlad 100% dug his own grave by being the biggest asshole, so it is very hard to feel bad for him.
-clockwork is back!!! and making danny learn lessons The Hard Way. Uhhh, okay. I kind of get Danny’s logic, that time traveling this far back would prevent vlad from becoming a halfa also, ergo no arch nemesis or ectoacne to worry about. But the fact that was basically the first solution Danny came up with to solve this problem is actually so funny. It’s so extreme
-APPRICIATION FOR THESE 80S LESBIAN BG CHARACTERS.
-vlad telling maddie in the lab (in the 80s) he has something he's wanted to tell her 'for a long time'...how long have they known each other? I assumed they met in college, since jack always calls vlad his college buddy/roommate, so jack and vlad for sure met in college, but did vlad know maddie longer? thats surprising if so. Tho we don’t know what year of college they’re in so they could mean they met as freshmen and a few years have past…speaking of maddie shes crushing the 80s look.
-vlad blames jack, but. maybe dont stick your face 2 inches from the portal??! THIS FEELS LIKE LAB SAFETY BASICS. IF SOMETHING HAS POTENTIAL TO BE DANGEROUS, DONT GET NEAR IT. WITH YOUR FACE UNPROTECTED IN ANY WAY. (altho jack didnt really give a Big Warning besides screaming BONZAI. so. also that, but cmon.) also, they need gloves, goggles, and to pull all of their hair back tbh. but fuck lab safety, I guess!
-cryyyyinnng at how lazy they were with jack's ghost form design, its just plasmius' design on jack!!! you couldve given him his own design!!
-there. I did that in about 10 minutes and its somehow less lazy than what made it into the show. embarrassing! better yet, I think the episode would've been better if maddie would've gotten the ectoacne. or maybe its just me, wanting to see her design! anyway. I'm sure people have already done redesigns of them both as halfas. I have to go look after I finish this watch through. Also mildly frustrated jacks resentment and bitterness is basically also a copy paste of vlads backstory. They’re different characters, I really don’t think jack would stew in bitterness and jealousy the same way vlad would!! I also don’t think he’d give up after one time of trying to hunt ghosts and getting laughed at. Our canon timeline says different…I dunno, I get it was for laughs, but I’m annoyed because the POTENTIAL this plot has…
-did vlad really wear a stupid cheese hat to his wedding. ok actually that kinda rules. and the cheese door knocker. the dairy-only buffet table. vlad still got rich, just on being the New Dairy King. (Assuming that means he owns a lot of dairy businesses?) ok! this actually is great. hope maddie isn't lactose intolerant!
-'no matter how hard I tried, I could never get rid of my ghost half, the half I knew Maddie could never accept' ohh, ouch, what a horrible thing to say to her HALF GHOST SON. 'YOUR MOM WILL NEVER ACCEPT YOU' BASICALLY.
-maddie strapping danny to the table with a lazer pointed at him in a secret lab she keeps from vlad that she makes a point of saying is sound proof so he can scream all he wants...CHRIST. DANNYS POOR PYSCHE.
-also, not to feel bad for alternate vlad (because, he did lie to maddie saying jack blames her and never wants to see her again...) but. being married to a woman 20+ years and she immediately goes back to jack? if she didnt love vlad and feels like she had to hide shit from him, and says she wasted her best years with him, WHY MARRY HIM. it feels like leading him on!!! cannot believe im feeling bad for vlad, but. this alternate timeline vlad is significantly Less Horrible than Our Vlad. did she not think she'd get funding for her ghost stuff? (which, fair assumption since they're considered 'ghost fanatics/nuts in canon...but...) why did she think jack or vlad would be her ONLY OPTIONS? be like your sister. be single. Actually, this au could’ve been really interesting if after the accident, vlad lied to her and said jack never wanted to see her again, but she stays single. Imagine how much that would bug vlad… like, in her mind, it was never a competition it was jack or no one type situation…
-danny being like 'leave him ALONE' this jack is a HOMEWRECKER, DANNY. let them go to court and settle this at the least. ...or just throw vlad into the portal. (100% human, defenseless vlad) CHRIST, MADDIE THATS BRUTAL. THATS MURDER.
-danny seeing his mom immediately accepting him and his dad being half ghosts in this universe, if I was him this would be a great sign that his universe's maddie would also.
-*maddie voice* "clockwork will help!" *2 seconds later, with clockwork* "I will Not Help." TOUGH LOVE KING. YES LET DANNY SEE THE SODA HIMSELF AND DEVOLP BETTER OBSERVATION SKILLS.
-when clockwork ""reset time to the way it was"" just before danny "meddled"" ...did he really erase a whole alternate timeline? ...damn. because maddie and danny both called it an alternate timeline by name, it splitting when the college incident went different, so it wouldnt have really mattered if he reset it, right. like because danny's timeline is on a different stream? why didnt clockwork just. show danny a replay and not Reset That Timeline. wh...I wonder how many people that Erased From Existence. Anyway! once again stating clockwork is casually terrifying!
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Jason expert rate Jason’s designs
sorry for being late i was busy with school but now i’m free so to celebrate. jason indulgence.
pre-crisis not robin
very cute. i like that it has a lil more of flair to it? the collar and the lines on the gloves and the shorter cape.. also love it has pants. king rlly king. wonder if they already knew he was gonna be robin anyways or if they were still considering nightbird. anyways, 8/10 bc its cute
pre & post-crisis robin (bc its basically the same)
i mean its a classic.. however it reminds me jason was the only robin who was simply given dick’s clothes rather than like. have an unique look? which sucks. 7/10 middle child syndrome is REAL
post-crisis robin (winter edition)
OKAY NOW THIS. i absolutely love. is it tacky? oh yes without a doubt. i still love the pants and the sleeves. finally winter clothes for this child, especially considering his new titans scene where he was bitching about the costume not being snow proof. he got what he wanted! 9/10
new 52/rebirth costume by
EPIC. IDC I LOVE IT.the circles on his arms and his boots.. the lines on his legs.. i just love it. i love the red mask too… it feels.. not more unique, but feels more jason-y than the other costume. 10/10
NOW. onto older stuff
hush
as u can see im VERY confusion about the pouches and the straps?? why??? whats the purpose.. generally its fine. the white strand moved a nation and i think the chest piece is cool, but everything else.. uglee. like the long as hell jacket and him looking 40 years old like why r u 19 looking like fifty? ugly white man. 5/10
winicks/utrh version
LITERALLY A CLASSIC. i love this costume sooo much. like jason obviously grew out of it, as in it wouldnt make sense for him anymore to go with something like this as his main costume because i feel like this fit the utrh mood (him not veing a vigilante/hero/villain whatver but trying to be a mob boss n shit) and it just. fucks. i love the helmet just being plain with no stupid mouth or nose shape. i simply love it. 10/10
nigthwing
its just. its just the nightwing costume. didnt even try he just stole that from dick. he still rocks it and looks better than dick, and u gotta give him points for accessorizing with his dagger. 7/10
red robin
im not. a big fan of this costume.. i think the cowl is ugly, it just does not work for someone as big as jason… however i do like why he took this mantle and what it meant.. 6/10 no words head empty.
oh brother. furryman
ITS SUCH AN UGLY COSTUME. muzzle batman walked so muzzle red hood could run. its just. ugly like ugly. i dont like the ears or again the muzzle or whatever the hell is going on in the arms.. its just so edgy. 5/10
WANNA KNOW WHAT A SEXY EVIL BATMAN COSTUME LOOK LIKE?
Injustice 2 batman
I2 HAD IT IN THE BAG BABY. i like that its like classic batman costume but again! with some jason touches! the red eyes, the electric tiddies making a comeback.. epic genuinely epic. 10/10
and if ur not into evil jason
100% dad ‘i have my life figured out’ batman jason
just like the nightwing costume this is just. batman costume. nothing special or different from it so its like did u even try? BUT in this scenario it actually means smth that he stuck to bruces costume.. sweet.. but boring. 7/10
speaking of. evil ugly designs. ugh i hate this.
this motherfucker
ive never. ever. felt as humiliated by a costume than thetime jason wore this. like MORTIFYING RLLY. its DISGUSTINGGG. the helmet shape. the fucking WHITE. the SKULL PLEASE WHO DESIGNED THIS WHO HATES ME IN PARTICULAR SO MUCH??? THIS MAN DOES NOT FUCK! HES UGLY! HE STINKS!!!! the red guns are epic that much i can say. LOOK AT THOSE PANS GOD ITS SO HUMILLIATING. 0/10 WORST COSTUME EVER.
HOWEVER. winick and the artist spun GOLD from it, because next time jason wore possibly my favorite costume to date
this motherfucker…2!
like look how much better it looks with a little of swag.. the helmet without eyes.. the belts.. the fucking leather jacket.. keeping the red guns/gloves.. like seriously i dont know a better man. the skull is still awful and i wouldve replaced the white for black and MWAH best costume. like the black part at the top make it all red and the white make it black.. god this jason fucks massively i love him. 11/10 my favorite by a landslide perhaps
new 52/rebirth red hood
OKAY I KNOW theyre slightly different (rebirth has shorter sleeves and a more padded look) but to me its like. same thing. okay i think its.. fine. its not phenomenal but its not ugly.. i like the brown jacket more than the black jacket i have to admit, its more distinctive and i simply like the color more, however i do not.. like jason having the bat symbol.. but thats also a me thing about how badly written this is. anyways. the helmet with the mouth disgusts me and everytime its drawn like that its humilliating. like. 7/10. maybe 7+. when it has the mouth or like nose ANY FACIAL EXPRESSION RLLY its a 5.
wingman
oh i absolutely despise that helmet. he looks like fucking. terminator. its the ugliest shape ive ever seen and the visor is.. huge. i dont like the shoulder pads either idk what the fuck its going on with the thing around his neck either.. like hes. knockout batman and i HATEEE IT. damians costume slaps tho. i just… its… ugly. like.. 3/10.
get damian back arc red hood costume
oh im a HUGE fan of this design.i love how his costume is designed in a way thats like. if jason was a dnd character he absolutely would be a tank. the padding, the red undertones everywhere, i just.. love it. i like how all the costumes were done to reflect their personalities you know.. i like this robin red hood hybrid. 9/10 would even say 10/10 bc i just enjoy how gleason draws jason.
red hood/arsenal costume
its like. i dont hate it completely (i love the way the hood+helmet looks) and thats.. yeah thats pretty much all i like about it. i HATEEEE the vest i hate it fr.i hate how huge the sumbol is and idk this costume just does not spark joy. 5/10
outlaw costume
okay this one. this one drives me insane. because like. okay i dig parts of it. i like the lack of sleeves. i like the gloves thingies. i like the hood. i could get aboard him ditching the helmet - it breaks all the damn time anyways. i like the stripes on his pants in the boots. ALL SEPARATE? NEAT. now i hate. hate. the muzzle. like WHY IT LOOKS SO UGLYYY LIKE SO UGLY like unless the artist GETS IT and is SEXY it looks awful. look at this
AWFUL. also like it made sense for when he was on the run and he had to make do and assemble a costume from what he had but like now hes sponsored by lex, get that man a goddamn new suit already please. anyways. 6/10.. like i said i like many elements from it but its still.. kinda ugly all together and depends A LOT on the artist.
three jokers
im torn on this one.. i think its a bit boring.. i dont rlly like the top part, it reminds me SOO much of that one tt issue where he beat the fuck out of tim while wearing a robin costume like i understad the implications of him wearing a costume thats similar to the robin blouse but im not a big fan.. also i prefer the brown leather jacket. its like not his worst costume by far but not the best.. like pretty basic? i would say 6/10
NOW SOME AUS.
tiny titans & lil gotham
okay these two are like. pretty much the canon versions of robin and red hood HOWEVER they both have details that are different from the original version and DESERVE a mention. the curls on robin jason and jasons red gloves/belt are ICONIC. whoever designed them knew what they were about, so 10/10 best bapy jason.
arkham knight
does the person who designed this know how much theyve done for the lgbt community? i hope they do. i love.. a lot about this costume. i love the ears, i love how techno it is, i love the layers to it.. im.. not a big fan of the whole military thingy but i have to admit that applying it to the design itself is kind of neat.. i love the colors too and how.. practical it is while being. well. kinda dramatic? the whole bat aesthetic.. yeah. i love it. 9/10
arkham red hood
this one.. when u think about it the outlaw version is VEEERY similar to this one: the pants, the hood, the jacket eve. however i like this helmet so much more, i have a weakness for eyeless (??) helmets.. i like the little details of it as well, i remember that pic going around of it being held together with like. fuckign stitches and bandaids. legendary. i love this look, i would say 9+/10
injustice 2 jason
okay gonna go ahead and say it: not a big fan of the helmet. it looks like.. a bug? the lenses do not spark joy. this bitch has many styles and like toners etc and i will no rate them all. i think its a pretty basic design, not the best but not the worst either. like if it was an exam i would make them pass but make faces at what im reading like eeehhhgh. 7/10.
hag jason
middle one is like literally, on the outside and superficial level, just. his usual costume. the jacket and the grey kevlar and the bat. now the gloves are sexy as hell.. and in the whit ebackground one u can appreciate the under costume better and i really like it?? i just.. like the design. I HATE HOWEVER the bat helmet. WHY IS IT HOLLOW?? BITCH HELLO?? AND THE BATMAN SYMBOL DOES NOT MAKE SENSE! and i like things making sense!!!. we will not talk about jason in this book. like.. 8/10. maybe 9 if im feeling it.
hag jason 2: the hagger and the furious
hes just.. a little old man.. he cannot change this.. i like this design. i like seeing jason grow old. wish it wasnt in this context. my father rlly. 8/10
—-
am i forgetting any jays.. i wont do all animated robins because they all look the same and the one that doesnt i do not like. SO HERES my thoughts..
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Nervous: CEO!Reader x Intern!Shawn (Part 4)
“This was a mistake.”
Shawn’s brows furrowed as panick set in, and he frantically tried to get my attention. He reached for my wrists, but I quickly pulled it away as I pulled my skirt on.
“Honey, c’mon, look at me,” Shawn said in a hushed tone, not wanting to scare me off.
I closed my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose and shook my head, ”Shawn, can’t you see? This won’t work out. Its unprofessional and lord knows every relationship I’ve been in goes to shit. This could jeopardize your future and your career!”
“I don’t care about that right now, Y/N! There are a million other internships in the world, but theres never gonna be a girl like you again,” Shawn said as his eyes looked into mine, not showing any signs of dishonesty.
I sighed. Shawn was only about a year or two younger than me, but he was so much more pure. He was so wide-eyed and optimistic. This was a characteristic I dropped many years ago, which was necessary for fending off competitors and making my way to the top to have the best company possible.
“You’re so... naive, Shawn. You barely know me, and I’m sure you’ll find another woman who won’t set fire to your life. Your should career matters more than this.”
“You’re right. I barely know you. But I know that you always tighten your ponytail whenever you’re working on a particularly hard case, I know that you always twist your rings on your finger whenever you’re nervous, I know that you roll your eyes at everyone a lot more when you haven’t had your caffeine yet, and I know that you’re just as crazy about me as I am for you. So please, just let me know you some more.”
I chewed at my lip, thinking about the possibility of us being together. Fuck this intern and his stupid ability to make me rethink everything I thought I already knew. Fuck his powerful ass, carefully worded speech. His charisma and enthusiasm had me thinking that maybe for once, I could make a relationship work for once.
I laughed slightly in defeat, shaking my head and burying my face into my hands. “Fine.”
“Fine?” Shawn’s face lit up instantly. He walked closer to me until he was standing right in front of me, peeling my hands away from my shy face.
“Yeah. Fine.” I stated simply. I tried to keep a straight face, but my armor was cracked as soon as I saw his big goofy smile plastered on his bright face. “You got one shot at this, Mendes. Just one.”
“Thats all I need, honey,” he replied nonchalantly as he pulled me into his body, wrapping his arms around my waist. He peppered kisses all on my neck, pecking at the red bruises he had left on me just a few moments ago. His innocent kisses gradually became more harsh and more needy as his hands clung on to your body tighter. His lips trailed lower down my chest.
“Okay, okay. Enough of that, Shawn. Its almost 12pm. Go home.” I giggled while unwillingly pushing him away.
“Go home with me,” He said softly, still continuing his assault on my neck. My smile dropped as I looked at him for any signs that he might be joking. Of course he’d be joking, it was way too early for us to do this. But the way he looked back at me, with so much love and hope in his eyes, showed how he wasn’t kidding at all. And even though I knew I shouldn’t, I felt myself giving in to those charming eyes. It just felt right to leave with him that night. And so I did.
When I first walked into his apartment, I was pretty pleased. It was a decent size and well decorated considering the fact that he had just moved here a few months ago. I trailed behind him quietly as he gave a brief house tour, taking in every detail. His apartment revealed so much about him.
At the last stop, he led me into his bedroom. Shawn began stripping out of his work attire and into some comfy pajama pants, leaving his chest bare for the night. I turned around to give him some privacy, which is when I noticed the brown acoustic guitar sat in the corner of the room. “You play?” I questioned, pointing to it.
Shawn looked up to where you were pointing, “Yeah, a little bit.” He tossed me one of his old tshirts to change into.
I catched the tshirt before beginning to strip in front of him once again, “Well, sing a little something then why don’t you?”
He chuckled before picking up the guitar and making his way back to his bed, sitting with his back against the headboard and his legs laid flat, one ankle crossed over the other. I slipped into his tshirt and climbed under his comforter. I planted my chin in the palm of my hand as I watched his fingers strum the guitar strings while soft tunes fell from his lips. The sounds felt so serene coming from him. Pft. Of course this crazy hot intern was also a beautiful musician. Fuckin unbelievable. Could this guy get any better?
“Alright alright alright Prince Charming, I think I’m gonna have to ask you to stop before I try and jump your bones again,” I said jokingly as I placed a hand on top of his.
“I actually wouldn’t mind that, darlin” he replied, placing his guitar cautiously in the corner of the room before crawling under the covers with me. I giggled at his cheeky comment and the light feathery kisses that he was trailing up and down my neck.
I grabbed his face and planted my lips on his delicately. The kiss was passionate, filled with more love than lust. He broke the kiss for a brief second to remove my shirt before leaning back into the sweet but urgent kiss. His hands travelled around my body, wandering over the valley of my breasts before planting them on my waist and flipping me around so that my stomach was against his cold mattress. Shawn pushed my hair over my shoulder to expose my bare back before stopping dead in his tracks, eyes staring down on my back intensely.
He trailed his fingers softly over the small world map tattoo on my right shoulder blade. “You have a tattoo? Who wouldve known..” he whispered.
I scoffed at his obvious jab at me being a proper workaholic,“Well I have to keep it covered up, its not very professional.”
“...I like it. Don’t cover it u around me. Please.” He said, fingers still delicately tracing the map.
I smiled in response. He laid back down beside me, rolling my body on to his so that I was laying on top of him. “Whats it mean?”
“I wanna color in every country that I visit,” I said as I let out a small yawn.
“I could help you with the Canada spot, y’know,” Shawn joked, “Have you try some real maple syrup and Tim Hortons, eh? You can even meet my pet moose back home.”
I laughed at his attempt of fitting in as many Canadian stereotypes in one sentence as he could. But the crazy this was... his offer didn’t sound so bad. The feeling I got whenever I was around him was unexplainable and different from any other guy. He just made me feel content and secure. And thats why I didn’t run from his joke about travelling together, like I normally would for any other guy.
“That sounds lovely,” I said before laying my cheek against his chest and drifting off to sleep for the night
~
The next morning, I woke up to an empty bed as the sun streamed through Shawn’s thin curtains. I stuck my hand out to reach over to Shawn’s side, but to no avail. Confused, I threw my feet over the edge and pulled on his old tshirt before walking out of his bedroom. As soon as I opened the door, I was hit with a strong smell of bacon and eggs. Shawns sculpted back was turned towards me as he flipped pancakes in front of the stove, doing a little butt jiggle as he danced to the beat of the soft music playing.
I groaned loudly. He was making it so hard not to fall in love with him.
“Hey! You’re awake! I made some breakfast,” Shawn said, flipping the pancake onto a plate and shutting off the stove.
“Thank you, Shawn,” I said before reaching over to him and giving him a small peck. He sat by the kitchen bar beside me and we dug in to our food, talking about anything and everything.
“D’you not like bacon or something, love? I could make sausages instead if you’d like,” Shawn asked curiously, noticing how I haven’t touched the plate of bacon since I sat down.
“I’m a vegetarian, actually,” I said. Shawn clutched his heart dramatically and clenched his eyes. “So you’re telling me: you’re extremely hot, extraordinarily successful, and you care about animals?”
I laughed loudly at his exaggeration, to which I earned a soft kiss on the top of my nose from Shawn. “Stop, you’re too much,” I said before realizing that today was a Thursday, “Oh fuck, what time is it?”
By the look on Shawn’s face, he must’ve lost track of time too. “Oh, uh, its 8:30,” he said, glancing to the clock on his wall.
“8:30?! We gotta get to work!” I said, quickly cleaning up my dishes and putting them in the sink.
He followed me into his bedroom as I threw on my clothes from yesterday and tied my hair up in a sleek bun. He grabbed his go to work outfit as I ran into the restroom and brushed my teeth with his extra toothbrush. After I was finished, I grabbed my purse and we walked out the door to my car. The ride to work was filled with music flowing through the speakers as we hummed and sang certain parts.
Parking my car, I looked over to Shawn,”You can go in first.”
Shawn scrunched up his eyebrows in confusion, “What? Why?”
“I just... I don’t want everyone to know about this. Yet.”
Shawn was a little bit hurt at that statement, but he nodded and silently left the car anyways. He thought it was unbelievable that he was deep in my guts and making me moan his name into his ear just last night, and now I want to act like none of it happened.
I watched him leave before grabbing my spare work clothes in the trunk and changing discreetly in my car. I waited about 5 minutes before trailing into the building and up the elevator. As soon as the elevator doors opened, Arlene was quick to meet me at the entrance with todays schedule. “I did some more research about that company you wanted to invest to and I emailed you some notes, you have a meeting with Mark from HR at 10 and Tiffany from finances at 11.“
I took in this info as I walked with Arlene into my office, making it a point to not even glance in Shawn’s direction to not raise any suspicion. He noticed this action, sighing at how cold I was acting.
“You seem a bit distracted, is everything okay?” Arlene’s voice broke through my thoughts. I debated on whether or not to tell her about my night with Shawn. She was one of my best friends, afterall. But for some reason, I didn’t want to tell her just yet in fear of her judgemental reaction.
“Huh? No, I’m fine. I just need my coffee,” I said, turning on my computer to start looking through my emails.
“Alright, whatever you say boss. I’ll have Shawn bring it in a bit. He’s a great intern, by the way. I think we got lucky with this one, he actually knows how to follow directions in a timely manner,” Arlene ranted. She absolutely despised the not-so-bright intern we had last summer, who didn’t even last the whole summer in this fast paced work environment before getting terminated.
“Yeah I’m really lucky to have him,” I said without thinking before I said it, “I mean, we. We’re really lucky to have him. This whole office is lucky to have him.”
Arlene stared at me trying to save myself from that slip up, “...Okay?”
She walked out of my office with no further questions, but I just knew she has her suspicions on. She was way too smart to not know. I sighed, planting my elbows on to my desk and stuffing my face into the palms of my hands. Dating is so complicated. If you could even call it dating, we haven’t even officialized anything yet.
As if on cue, there was a knock on my door. “Come in,” I called out.
Shawn walked in with my usual cup of caffeine, closing the door behind him. “Hey,” he said cautiously, not knowing where he stood with me exactly.
“Hi,” I tried to put on a brave smile for him, leaning over to clutch the coffee and bring it to my lips.
“Are we okay?” He asked in a straightforward manner.
I almost choked on my drink, “What? Yeah, of course. Why?”
“I don’t know, are we gonna act as if we don’t know each other at work everyday?”
“No. I mean, yeah but no, I-“ I started before shaking my head, trying to find the right words to say,”I don’t know. I’m sorry. I just, I’ve never done this before. Even with other guys that didn’t work with me, I never let the office know of my personal relationships. But then theres you, sitting just a few feet away from me with that stupid curly hair that looks so good between my thighs and that stupid cute smile that I can’t resist and, I just, I don’t know, okay?”
I watched his face change from extremely confused to understanding to amusement. “You think I’m cute?” he teases, walking towards me.
I rolled my eyes but laugh nonetheless, “Is that really all you got from that speech?”
He nodded, leaning in to kiss me. His hands were quick to land on my waist, pulling me closer to his body. In return, I wrapped my hands around his neck and began to kiss down his neck, harshly sucking on his sweet spot and leaving a light bruise. He whimpered whenever my tongue would graze across the spot where his shoulder met his neck. “Please touch me, fuck,” he breathed out with his head thrown back and eyes shut. I smirked at his response but decided not to give him what he wanted just yet.
I unbottoned his slacks, pushing them down along with his boxers to free his member of its tight constraint. I lightly stroked it, feeling it get harder under my touch. “Mm, thank you, thank you,” Shawn whined into our kiss. I smiled against his soft lips, he didn’t think I was actually going to give it to him that easily, did he? Poor guy.
My hands wrapped around his, dragging it down his body to meet with his hard cock. I unlocked our lips from the kiss and leaned back, crossing my arms. “I want you to touch yourself,” I smirked at the bewildered look on his face. His face was flushed and his eyes were wide. He was stunned. He’d never done this in front of anyone, ever. He stood there hoping I was going to say that I was just joking or fucking with him.
“I said, touch yourself. And don’t come until I say you can. Are you going to be a good boy or am I going to have to punish you?” I repeated with an assertive tone.
Shawn shook his head no before taking his member in his head and stroking the tip out of fear of what his “punishment” would be, as if this wasn’t already punishment. To touch himself while I was stood right in front of him, not willing to even lay a finger on him, seemed like the worst punishment he could think of right now. But nonetheless, he did it and he admitted that he liked it.
He pumped his cock in his fist harder watching me unbotton my silk dress shirt, revealing a pink lacy bra. “Oh shit,” he breathed out looking at my sexy body.
I got down on my knees in front of him, batting my eyelashes up at him. I cupped my breasts, “D’you want to come on my tits, baby?”
His mouth was agape, small moans and whimpers falling out at the sight of me on my knees in front of again. “Yes, fuck yes,” He moaned as he felt his climax rushing towards him like an avalanche.
“Well thats too bad, isn’t it? Stop touching yourself. Now.” I said, getting back up on my feet.
Shawn’s brows furrowed immediately. He was so close, so fucking close. I tugged his arm away from his member as he gasped at the close rush he had. He took his lip in between his teeth, biting down to ease his nerves after being edged like that.
I sat Shawn down on my desk before I climbed on top, grinding on his crotch with my lace clad pussy. I was still fully clothed, skirt rising up as I grinded on his fully naked body. He balled his fists hard until they turned white to try and resist the urge to pull my panties to the side and slip his cock in my wet pussy. He was absolute putty beneath my touch, letting out a string of whines. When I started to circle my hips in figure eights, that almost send Shawn all the way over the edge. “Fuck! Please, please let me come holy shit,” Shawn moaned. His climax felt like it was coming on even stronger than before. He leg muscles were clenched as he prepared to see white, before I lifted my hips up and restrained from giving him any friction again, edging him close to his orgasm once again.
“No, ba-“ Shawn started, but he was interrupted by a knock on my door.
“Mrs. Y/L/N, you have a visitor.”
taglist: @vxidnik @justjustyncase @onemorekissisallittakes @kindadefinitely-fucked @hollandechart @imfreefallinall @ashwarren32 @nevermindmisha @winterparker @kinglyhemmings @unhealthyobsessionwithmarvel @alinashawn @peruvian-bae
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My last say. Hopefully not my final essay.
So I've been watching YouTube videos of how to get over ex's and how to deal with break ups. In my heart, I know we belong together. I know the fact that I'm not Christian is a problem. My arguement is that you never fell in love with an atheist. You fell in love with me. Its tough when you refer to me as atheist because I'm so much more then that. You of all people know that. I love you with all my heart. I want to marry you still. I'm not of being alone or being without you. I'm scared of what I am without you. To be honest you were and still are my guardian angel in my eyes. You've changed my life and I hate to see you leave. You keep emphasizing that we might not be together but I still have hope we'll be together. After all, you have my rib. I know things are hard for you at the moment with God. Its tough for me 2. I go to afda and put on a smile pretending I'm fine. You want to be with a Christian. I get that. But no Christian will be as good as I am to you. Even tough I'm not a Christian, I can try to be the best person in the world for you. I dont love for your looks or your voice or cause you give me affection or cause you buy me stuff or cause you did things to me. Its all those things and more. I love you cause youre you. I would never change anything about you. Even your cute toes. Once upon a time I promised you I'd convert for you. I want to make this clear ! I am not trying to manipulate you in any way shape or or form ! Im just venting to tumblr. I'd keep my promise. It wouldnt be for you or for me but for us. Cause your right woman ! Its just better if we're both Christian. I know your gonna be thinking, "hmmmm, hes probably just saying this so I get back with him. He just wants me back. What an ass" and it does look like that. Thats why. Huh. Idk actually. I guess it is kinda fucked up to say this. Kinda shity cause then it would make your life 10 times harder. Okay so ignore that bit. Im not deleting it because effort AND because I said it / typed it with meaning and for a reason.
I get why we dont talk because if your parents find out they'll lose their minds and also because I'm pulling you away from your God things. But like when will I be able to date you. Ya know. Like even if I was Christian, your parents would still hate me. And if your parents forgave me. I wouldnt be Christian. So i get your side of life. Cause thats tough cookie. I wish our love could be enough because it is lowkey for us. Its a rough one. I wanna tell you so many things but i dont wanna jinx your future. I just find it crazy that you think your going to marry someone else. People have been saying its just because your my first girlfriend but I dont believe em. I felt a connection with you. Something I dont see happening with anyone else. You keep telling not to wait for you but its what I feel is right. Just like how you said it feels right to break up. I dont think this will last forever. We'll I wont be able to last much longer but. I feel like we've got this. We've been through a lot together and I'm positive about us. When I said us not being together would be a watse I didnt mean a waste of time or money or anything. I just meant it would be crazy for us to go through everything we did just to let (a big deal) get in the way. I love you. I love you. I LOVE YOU MY BOO !
Lowkey in the back of my head thinking this
I know I said these things but I cant hold you to anything. You could be over me and my shit and want another relationship. I have to deal with that. If you want some buff white english indie guy to come love you then that the way it'll be.
Deep down I want it to be though. Like I want to be your knight. Your dark knight _wink wink_. I know eternal life is a big thing for you and I'd like to be there with you to. I dont really know if I'll be accepted up in heaven. Even if i am a Christian. Im hard on myself like that. Id rather let more deserving people go to heaven. Idk why I put myself. Its just me. I just see potential in others. More so than in myself. I see my purpose on earth as a chance to help others. You know. Plus im sure when (i cant remember the name of it) the blue lights come down and take people to heaven. Im sure I'll meet you up there. Your just so scared of messing up like one thing and I get it I was like that 2. Id make sure everything was planned out. Truth is. I hd to stop being scared in order to move forward. Like after my car accident. I was terrified to drive again. I couldnt deal with driving. But i had to get over it. And I know you blame yourself and God for what happened. Please dont. Everything happens for a reason. I feel like that stuff taught me a lesson about being calm and calming myself down. It definitely wasnt God punishing you for being with me. Again not trying manipulate you or preach to you or try to change your thoughts. Its just my opinion. All I'm hoping you do is consider what I'm saying. I really truley am sorry about everything but at the same time. Everything that happened has happened and its made us who we are. If given the chance I'd do it again.
Also lowkey I'd love to celebrate 2 years with you. #nopressure. Like seriously I'm being serious but at the same time dont stress you cute little head about it. If it doesnt happen it doesnt happen.
My eating habits have gotten worse. Idk. Im lowkey scared im dying. I want to go to the doctor but its expensive and I've been such a burden on my parents. I'm pretty sure I can wait a couple years before getting it checked up.
My new glasses are cool. You have to see yhem in person. That another thing. I thought i wouldve seen you by now just driving or something. But i guess you only really drive to church and home. Or to someones house or like a party thing.
Happy 21st birthday baby. Wow. Your getting like so old. I still remember falling in love with the 19 year old you. Look how far we came. A whole 2 years. Youve grown so much since then. Firstly you don't bump into cars xD. Jk. You really have become such a grown up and I've been blessed being there with you. You became independent and youve become yourself. Its was a wild trip but to see you come out on top has been worth it. You deserve the world. And if anyone tries to hurt you / stop you, send em my way. Youre one of the most beautiful intelligent cutest amazingest bestest person in the whole world. Happy Birthday Boo.
The boo tattoo. We getting em together ? Also all your stuff is still here so if you do move out invite me over sometime so i can drop off these things. Lowkey your life is amazing and spontaneous and I have huge FOMO (fear of missing out). You don't to worry about me tho. I've been waiting to do things with you.
Moving out. Yeah. Its a big possibility next for me. I remember you originally said we can't live together which sucked but made sense. So. If you ever need a place to stay. Call me. I'll set up a guest bedroom for you.
I wasnt going to with your dad a happy birthday because you never with mine I dont think. But im not a monster like you. Jk lol. You probs just forgot.
Also it really sucks you cant speak 2 me. Your not an asshole. I just wish you could've helped me calm down.
Im sorry this was so long. I'm sure Ive forgotten things and said things I shouldnt have but tbh its been kinda theraputic for me. Like I feel a lot better having got thise things off my chest. You dont have to reply to anything yet. Cause I know your brains busy atm. If you can acknowledge that you seen it that would be nice. But ja. Please dont take anything Ive said personally or strongly. I just blurped things out and yes things do have meaning. But it takes two to tango. I desperately want to tango with you though.
Ps I love you
Pps Im sorry
Ppps take me back
Pppps jk. not jk
Yours truly
Triston Kyle Pillay (Penguin)
3:36 Vala is today. Shhhh
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my list of lupin movies ive watched for the sake of keeping track and making sure i dont rewatch some
Castle of Cagliostro (10)
favourite Lupin movie of all time. Fantastic art, cast, plot, everything.
Blood Seal: Eternal Mermaid (8.5)
Really good animation and really interesting plot. Another ‘Lupin has to babysit’ movie but it was treated in such a way that set it apart from other ones. He gives her a lot of good advice and overall I really enjoyed this one even if it’s kind of underrated.
Burning Memory - Tokyo Crisis (8.5)
Surprisingly good like I wasn’t expecting a 90′s Lupin movie to come for me like this but the animation is really solid and the movie itself was really funny. I also liked that Maria and Zenigata weren’t a thing like that cleared my pores.
The Bloodspray of Ishikawa Goemon (8)
The animation is fucking stellar but there were odd gaps in the movie that were really inactive. I liked the two subplots going on though like they were both interesting.
Bye Bye Lady Liberty (8)
The classic convoluted subplots worked well here tbh and the Goemon romance stuff was gunshot noise gunshot noise cash register noise. The animation had this weird glow to it but it was (almost) the 90s lol
Hemingway Papers (8)
They really got me with Goemon and Jigen going against each other and Lupin being in a relationship with someone aside from Fujiko (a relationship that was genuinely romantic) was actually pretty well done. That whole bit at the end with the karaoke machine? Amazing
Return the Treasure (7)
Another one that was really close to being perfect. The only loose ends was that the “treasure” wasn’t really explained very well (but i mean, the lead up to it was very good) and i could’ve done with more scenes with the whole gang (it seemed like there was a lot of times where it was lupin jigen and fujiko or lupin goemon and fujiko, but not enough of all of them together)
From Siberia With Love (7)
The usual amount of humour and action from a Lupin III film and the art is pretty standard. Goemon got a few nice quotes in and Fujiko talked to a woman. Could’ve done without Rasputin but thats just me.
Elusiveness of the Fog (7)
Lupin offering Goemon to the princess was kinda funny and I actually really liked OG Mamo (not the short freak) being revitilized bc his episode in the original series was really entertaining. The history of where they were was a little wonky but I’ll give it to them this time.
Pilot Film (7)
That shit was wild i liked how jigen was introduced as the gunman and then beat the shit out of 3 police officers with his bare hands. also goemon i guess dedicates his life to killing lupin so thats fun, like he’s on zenigata’s side i guess. could’ve done with fujiko making an expression at any given time but yknow what? it was funny and it was only 12 minutes long
Another Page (7)
Surprisingly not that bad. To summarize the film as a whole I’d say: it could have been worse. The plot made sense which is more than i can say about most lupin movies and they stuck to two subplots that were both interesting and meshed pretty good by the end. And the two lady characters that got introduced didn’t betray anybody AND didn’t die.
Farewell to Nostradamus (6.5)
The animation was pretty good and I liked the whole ‘we gotta protect this kid’ thing but I always mix up this one and Bye Bye Liberty Crisis like this movie is it’s less interesting twin. Both of them have kids they need to protect but Bye Bye Liberty Crisis was just better. I feel like this one had a really good ending but aside from that the movie wasn’t that memorable for me.
Fuma Conspiracy (6.5)
i liked Goemon being in a relationship bc it was really sweet, i just wish there wouldve been a better balance of romance to plot. Also terrible voice actors but that just affected my enjoyment not really the plot or anything relevant.
Sweet Lost Night (6)
I like time shenanigans and my only two critiques are the inconsistent art quality and they seemed really hesitant to embrace time skipping. Like “he’s limited to twice before he becomes brain dead” was a little bit of a small window. If anything they missed out on a good opportunity for a classic lupin montage of him time skipping way too often. Maybe if they changed it to “you skip time every 12 hours, to every 6 hours, to every 3 hours, etc” until he stops existing?? like that seems more in line with a lupin plot not to mention a little more suspenseful.
Dead or Alive (6)
The new art style is kind of neat and didn’t really affect the personality of the characters like I thought it would. The plot itself was complicated and hard to follow but I mean, it wasn’t awful. Nothing I really hated and nothing I loved.
Jigen Daisuke’s Gravestone (6)
Handsome Jigen was cool but tcm i’m begging you to drink your Respect Women Juice. Also Goemon wasn’t in this one what the fuck was up with that. Lupin looked like a crispy toenail in the new art style but again the animation is gucci so I can’t really complain on that front.
Napoleon's Dictionary (6)
Reminded me a lot of Mamo except with more respect in women. Just kidding Fujiko was kind of a crapshoot in the end and the ending was more or less just. cut off?? like they crashed into the ocean after lupin ruined zenigatas marriage and the credits started rolling. it was weird bc it had a lot going but i guess they ran out of time for a proper ending?
Mystery of Mamo (6)
Respect Women Juice needed and also why was Goemon purple. The pros to this movie was the overall aesthetic being really attractive BUT the plot was sketchy and didn’t make a lot of sense. The only remarkable scene I remember is Jigen shooting the can by Lupin’s feet like I wish that emotion would’ve carried through the film and not ended there.
Red vs Green (5)
Really good animation, no fucking idea what happened in this film.
Walther P-38: Island of Assassins (5)
They missed an opportunity to be a little more psychological and the lady of the week dying was meh but I will say the plot stayed on course like they didnt try to do too much at once like they tend to do. I wish they would’ve delved more into lupin’s past with the doctor because that seemed kind of random but the more lethal, edgy plot was handled decently. I’ll probably forget this one in a week tbh.
Dragon of Doom (5)
I like learning more about Goemon but his girlfriend was really distracting and uneccessary. Like, if you want to introduce Goemon’s childhood friend sure its whatever but she only showed up to either threaten lupin or flirt with Goemon. And it was very obvious she was going to betray him so all her build up was pointless. I will say though, the plot was pretty cool which was surprising.
Voyage to Danger (4)
tcm I’m begging you to let Jigen talk to a woman and not have it be like ‘this is Jigens girlfriend now’. Sometimes women be talking and they aren’t thirsting for a man triple their age. It just be like that sometimes. Thats literally all I remember about this film.
First Contact (4)
I remember being excited for this like ‘oh wow their first ever meeting’ and i s2g this film was boring. And also a giant plothole. With no real redeeming qualities. I don’t even remember the animation being that good.
Columbus Files (4)
This film was at least funny bad but my hand to god I’d never watch it again. This is the first time I’ve ever watched a movie and had to watch the dub bc the sub was boring me to death. It was just... so bad... Especially when you’ve seen Wings of Death like this ain’t the Fujiko I know please leave.
Seven Days Rhapsody (3)
The comedy in this one was so weirdly incorporated and featured another really good ‘here’s Jigen’s dead girlfriend’ that i just could not care less about and then finished off with this what like 13 year old girl asking to be Lupin’s girlfriend? fuck outta here. The ONLY good part was Goemon slapping Lupin across the face.
Alcatraz Connection (2.5)
Really, really boring. The content wasn’t necessarily bad but they had 4 subplots going on that were equally uninteresting and some scenes went on for so so so long. It deadass took me 5 hours to watch this movie bc i kept pausing to do literally anything else. The art was unpleasant and by the time they got the treasure i didn’t really care anymore. Not to mention the plot was way too complicated and tin-foil hat for my liking.
Missed by a Dollar (2.5)
Made very little sense and in general was really annoying. Between Goemon being a born again Christian and the plot briefly derailing so Lupin could establish an oil company it was like can we pick something to focus on? By the end of the movie I was like wait when did they get the broach? What does the broach do again? And then he gives it to someone random and its like??
Gold of Babylon (2)
This one if the definition of being cursed and Pink Jacket deserved so much better than this nonsense. Like Lupin III isn’t known for its coherence, sure, but this movie had absolutely no structure. Upon finishing the film I was trying to remember anything that just happened and my brain refused. It kept the good cartoonish animation but god at what cost.
Angel Tactics (2)
TCM PLEASE DRINK YOUR RESPECT WOMEN JUICE. The art was just. Stunningly bad. Bad to the degree where about a minute thirty in I already regretted starting it. Not to mention the classic “we don’t actually wanna draw this part so we’re gonna jam cgi in here”. Also the most awkward use of “hey heres 3 women hey heres 3 men lets shove them together”.
Harimao’s Treasure (2)
nazis and transphobia which was extremely unfortunate considering the opening was actually one of the stronger ones I’ve seen from Lupin but immediately after the villain was introduced the quality of the film dropped about 90% and i wanted to die for the entire last half of the film. if they had changed the villain it would’ve solved 90 of their problems.
Twilight Gemini (2)
this was one of the only films in the entire lupin series where i was rooting for lupin to fucking perish. not only was goemon only in this film for 26 seconds, jigen was there for about 30 seconds and im not entirely sure if fujiko was there at all. not to be that guy but when they make lupin to be the most intolerable piece of shit in the world for this movie, don’t give him all the screen time. having to stare at this asshole for an hour and a half was exhausting.
Princess of the Breeze (2)
How a movie where Jigen has to carry a baby around in one of those funny baby-carriers turned out this fucking goddawful I have no explanation for. This movie was like an AU where all these other characters no one cares about happen to exist in the same universe as lupin. and when lupin does show up, i want him dead. Just horrifically boring and lazy art mixed with bad cgi. The only upside is that it isn’t Return of the Magician.
Return of the Magician (1)
I’m giving it a 1 on the principle that this wasn’t even a movie. It was a little less than an hour long and my god i’ve never seen a film so full of pad-time that if i can be so bold, there was more pad time than plot. What little plot they had made absolutely no sense and the art used cgi in the most bizarre and ugly ways. i’m pretty sure the credits played twice at the end. if there was a world record for lowest budget in a film, Return of the Magician would win hands down.
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hunty x hunty cont
soooo we watched more! woohoo
we finished the hunter exam arc???? i THNK? lmaoooo at the end of the ep (21 i thiiiiink) we were on, satotz was like BUT THE HUNTER EXAM ISNT EVEN OVER YET or w/e lol aigh??? whats up w/that
anyways a lot happened in the last few eps that we watched....man i shouldve written this earlier but i litrelly havent been online. anyways
so during the hunter exam stage 4...gon is literally perfect (as i always have to say), him reuniting w/leorio and kurapika was rlly sweet :’)
of course he immediately offered to help....goodest boy
and wow that kid has such a powerful nose bvhjksfbjsk he rlly be a gr8 sniffer
ok literally the part where leorio was in the cave and was like GON KURAPIKA DONT COME IN HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and they both full speed sprint into the cave with 0 hesitation.....we love a 0 brain cells family
i love leorio so much he really just b running around w/a switchblade and a breifcase, both of which he barely used during the exam lmao
so bummed that leorio slicing up tht snake happened offscreen. how tf did that even work, he doesnt have a goddamn sword
gon just being able to hold his breath for almost 10 mins makes so much sense somehow...he rlly is one of those shounen protags who is just casually a ridiculous human being and doesnt even fully realize that its weird
that shot of him carrying everyone out of the cave was so sweet
and of course gon vs snakes....hes so perfect....he trusts his friends so much :’)
also random aside but im so glad tonpa is out and idk if i talked abt this in my prev post but i feel like in most shounen he wouldve been like, so inspired by gons shounen protag energy that he wouldve changed his tune and taken the exam genuinely and either passed or declared that hed definitely pass next year - but no, he was awful til the end, this aint that kind of story (yet...?)
have i mentioned that i hate hisoka? cause i hate hisoka. nasty ass crusty clown bitch
what else happened in the phase 4 stuff. oh yeah killua clowned on those triplet dudes (and hanzo lowkey), which was great
ok the opening not having changed this whole time is so funny. imagine if it never changed and its still basic and cheery when everything gets crazy and dark lmao
ooh my god i forgot to mention this last time but i feel like gons backpack is full of hair gel and hair gel ONLY, he only brought hair gel and his fishing rod. this is canon ty
oh gosh when killua and gon reunited at the end of the 4th stage....OOOUGH so precious...those two are so cute god. i want a compilation of their cute moments together i hope that exists
GOD OH FUCK the scene on the airship where kurapika and gon talked bc gon was clearly bothered by something (what happened w/hisoka obvs. i hate that clown bitch) and OUGHHHH OH GOD gon crying LICHRALLY killed me oh man :( i was literally just chanting NO NO NO!!!! at the TV cause seeing tiny baby boy upset was so sad....and ik it gets soooo much worse oh god i cant handle it
the whole convo was really good and really anti-shounen (once again...feel like thatll be a theme lmao) bc like, it was a healthy convo where gon talked honestly abt his feelings instead of using some shounen protag BS phrases like ‘it doesnt matter!!! ill be stronger next time!!!’ or w/e....and kurapika is a such a good parent oh man :(
again, cant get over how genuine and uncomplicated the teamup of the main 4 characters has been....literally no ‘we’re competing and only teaming up for convenience/the hunter exam comes before our friendship’ nonsense
did anything else happen on the airship. ider
anyways. can i talk abt illumi now. CAN I TALK ABT ILLUMI NOW. H8 THAT BITCH.
ok wait back up theres other stuff
the interviews w/the candidates was interesting! i love how the old dude was SO not picking up what Creepy Hisoka was putting down lmaooooo
that poor old guy lmao he seems like a decent dude, he was like oh i dont wanna fight gon and killua cause theyre kids,....RIP u red shirt legend
the bracket setup was so interesting oh man....very funky and creative. and then it wasnt really fully utilized lol, i feel like thats indicative of a bigger patten - hxh so far has been really creative and interesting, and clearly uninterested in setting things up simply to check off boxes on a shounen tropes checklist....i can already see what makes it so great if this keeps up bc daym, so many shounen have their interesting themes drowned out by the overwhelming necessity for the plot to hit certain shounen story beats, smothering otherwise new/fresh ideas and rerouting them back into the same old over-trodden shounen trope territory
on a meta level, i wonder if the author was like, allowed more leniency (’do whatever bro’) bc hed already been successful w/yu yu hakusho. i havent seen/ready yyh so idk how ‘typically shounen’ it is but thats st that im curious about
aaanyways. the tournament starts w/hanzo beating up gon for THREE HOURS STRAIGHT. jesus dude. so yeah obviously leorio and kurapika are the best parents ever and them getting so righteously angry over seeing this happen to gon is so heartwarming and good and also a big big mood
they love their son okay. also that was fucked up. ALSO i find it interesting that thats only the second time we’ve seen kurapikas eyes turn red
i bet that hisoka saw that also and somethign something phantom troupe, see bottom of post in predictions section
seeing gon get beat up like that made my heart hurt :( especially when hanzo broke his arm...oof.
god also i cant believe hanzo is 18 hes literally bald hvbhjafbjs whats w/hxh and making everyone a teen or younger lmao god
also omfg i love that leorio and kurapika are lichreally 19 and already have kids wow thats amazing especially considering their kids are 12. its so funny that theyre such Parents already considering that the age gap is kinda hilariously small, espec bc i thought that they (mostly leorio) were a lot older at first lmao
the fact that gon gets to win that fight against hanzo was a legit shock to me....again, anti-shounen. we’d normally want to see what our protag can do in a fight - espec in a tournament-style arc where the consequences arent as high typically - so we’d want him to go further, which is easy here bc to move on he has to lose, which is easy bc gon is a baby w/no offensive capabilities (that we’ve seen)
god ive talked abt this already but its so fascinating how we havent really had any full-on fights???? espec w/the main 4 characters????? we still barely know what they can do....WE STILL HAVENT BEEN INTRODUCED TO NEN????
ive been spoiled (i guess?) to the existence of nen but thats abt it. what can it do? what is it? fuck if i know lmao. so i could totally see them pulling a ‘we were using nen the whole time’ w/like hisoka or st, OR a ‘YOU were using nen the whole time w/out realizing it’ w/gon
ok anyways. that hanzo fight was rough but also gon is literally the best. he was trying to bargain w/hanzo to figure out a way where they could come to a conclusion that would satisfy them both - despite hanzo clearly outmatching gon in skill, so the effort on hanzo’s part would be pointless and simply for gon’s benefit....basically the entire proposal sound ludicris and insulting to suggest (or st, idk how to phrase it), but since its gon of COURSE he only has the purest of intentions and means it so genuinely that you cant even be mad at him
hanzo just knocking him out lmaoooo and then hes just out for the rest of the tournament???? thats so wild and...whatdya know....un-shounen!
then he wakes up n his lil x-shaped forehead bandage....ough so cute
also the whole convo he and satotz had abt gon’s victory and hunter license and earning/deserving it was so good :’)
also i feel like the show did a good job of humanizing characters like satotz. i legit thought he was a robot or st at first but it feels more like hes just A Guy now,....albeit a weird guy, but thats to be expected. its like, yeah this guy also took the hunter exam at one point, wow.
anways this is already long and i havent even gotten to the killua stuff yet lol so im gonna stop here for now. and introducing a new segment..........the prediction corner! where i dump my speculations/predictions, entirely for my future self’s benefit
PREDICTIONS:
first off as i alluded to above, i think that hisoka has some sort of connection to the phantom troupe (does he know them? maybe not, but he knows where to find them? idk) and when he saw kurapikas red eyes, was able to figure out that whole deal and said st to kurapika during that fight like ‘hey i can help you find the phantom troupe if you want :))))’
i kinda said this earlier but i predict that kurapika might get really wrapped up in revenge and go off the rails a bit. we’ll see, so far that hasnt really happened, but for some reason i kinda think that it will? we’ll see
i (incorrectly) predicted that killua would have known that illumi was there the whole time, considering that he was able to noticing the hunter exam dudes following him in phase 4, etc....but BOY was i wrong about that oof
iiii think that the whole ‘the hunter exam isnt over yet!!!’ stuff will be an opportunity for killua to pass this year still, maybe? idk abt that tho
i have more predictions but i forgot :( also some of them are more relevant to the next few eps ill make a post on
#gotta break up my thoughts somehow#wow these are gonna get so damn long espec if ruth and i end up binging a bunch of eps in a short period lmao#unrelated but god 'this must be the place' was just on shuffle which murdered me and now an emo-ass U2 song came on...bruh#anyways#lj watches hxh#hxh
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Thank you, next!
I’m going to do my mushy, uplifting, “I found ____ this year,” “2020 I’m coming for ya,” post now, instead of on NYE. BREAKIN THE CLICHE Y’ALL!!!
This past year... was supposed to be “my year.” I made many plans for myself this year, but I also made many fails at bringing those plans to life - yikes. BUT IT’S OKAY! This year is an even more special attempt because its a new decade.. what better motivation than being able to step out of the last 10 years of bullshit?!
This year has been a year of growth for me, and i’m not just talkin’ about my weight, y’all. Really, I’ve been growing since March of 2018, but strides were made this year. Strides that I didn't even realize were being made. I’ve always been super hard on myself and I never notice improvements within myself, but today it all hit me.
I used to fight so hard for friendships or relationships. Okay- Ive ALWAYS gone above and beyond for the people I care about, BUT, with these I was trying even harder to make sure our friendships/relationships stayed in tact. I was ignoring the fact that I was the only person putting in any effort and in doing so, I didn't realize I was draining myself. I didn't realize that it would run me so thin.
This year I drifted away from a friend that I held very near and dear to my heart. A person I considered a best friend. Someone I once used to do everything with. The person I’d call just to tell them something funny I thought of or just to see what they were doing in that moment in time. After first I was pretty sad about it so I reached out yet again to make things right. Everything was fine for a month, then life happened and I got busy. I got too busy to reach out every day and I realized, they weren't reaching out either. Just to see if they would at some point reach out, I didn't make any attempts. Not one attempt was made on their end. The sadness in me just started to disappear. I thought about it day to day, but only because I was questioning why it wasn't effecting me like it did before. Why was I actually not wondering what they were doing? Why did I not care to call and mend things like I always did?
After some deep thinking, I realized that I wasn’t stressing myself out about whether or not I had called them today or why we hadn't spoken. I realized that what I once thought was a “friendship” was more of a burden. I felt.... free. Which is just so crazy to me because this is someone I would've went to the end of the world for. Someone I thought so highly of.... or at least I thought. Thinking back on it, it was more of me seeking approval from this person. I definitely got the 2 mixed up.
I am not one to believe in horoscopes or mercury being in retrograde, but I am a firm believer in souls knowing their way. I strongly believe that we meet everyone for a reason. I’m not talking about the casual “oh hey whats up,” I’m talking about the friendships/relationships we invest in. The ones that we put our energy and efforts into. I think that each friendship/relationship takes us on different roads that are in turn, leading us to our final destination.
I hate hate HATE referencing my ex, but its honestly just such a prime opportunity to mention the lessons i’ve learned. If I wouldnt have dated my most recent ex, I would’ve never met some of the best friends I’ve met. I wouldn’t have found my worth, and I wouldnt have learned to let go of things that are consuming me. I’ve learned that I’m learning to handle things so differently and I love it. Certain scenarios i’ve recently faced that I’ve been incredibly mature and understanding of, are scenarios that I would've blown up and acted like a damn child about before. Without drifting away from this friend, I wouldve never learned to be courageous and leap into the things I truly love because I was terrified of judgment.
it’s crazy that we don't really realize the journey we’re on until we start making strides in the opposite direction. TAKE THAT LEAP! CUT OFF THOSE FRIENDSHIPS. LOSE THE SHITTY BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND! DO THINGS FOR YOU. It’s going to hurt like hell, but once you’ve healed, and I promise you will, it is the MOST FREEING FEELING you will ever feel. Your vision will become more and more clear. I never thought I would be happy after all I went through, because well, I thought that was my future. I thought that was supposed to be my happy. Once I decided to let go and breathe, I started to see more clear. I started realizing things more and more and I started my journey in the RIGHT direction. Contrary to what people say, BURN THE DAMN BRIDGE. If it’s something or someone that is meant to be in our life, the bridge will be rebuilt and will be more sturdy than ever. I’ve rebuilt a bridge this year, and it has been the best bridge I’ve ever crossed again.
Taking my past and using it as lessons of growth has been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I look at what used to hurt me, and I use it to fuel me. This year I am so incredibly thankful for the past relationships and friendships that I fought so hard for. I’m thankful for the life lessons they gave me and that they led me to where I am today.
PLEASEEEEEEEEEE please please stop bringing yourself down because you don’t know where you want to be in life. because you’re hurt from your past or even something currently. Know that some of the people you hold dear to your heart are not meant to be in your life forever. We need to keep in mind that sometimes in order for people to grow closer, they need to grow alone. Sometimes people grow in different directions and thats okay! Because if they are meant to be in your life, you will both grow towards the same destination in the end. Know that you are exactly where you are supposed to be at this exact moment in time, with the exact people you are meant to be on this journey with.
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"Cheap health insurance?
My health insurance at work is too expensive. Where can I find a low cost health insurance plan?
BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://financeandcreditsolutions.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr
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Well, I am 17, so this is very annoying but I have a big problem now. Last week I was getting Quoted for Car insurance, the quote was around 1.7k for a Corsa, This I could stretch to, but today I try and get a quote and the smallest quote is around 5.5k, What has changed? something has, I have made sure all the details are exactly the same for my old one which was quoting me at 1.7k and my new one which is quoting me at 5.5k for some reason, Please help or give any ideas thanks a lot.""
Do Republicans think low insurance rates means cheap healthcare?
The fact is that under ObamaCare insurance rates are set by the amount the insurance company pays to doctors and hospitals. If they charge more than 125% of what they pay out they ...show more
Car shopping???? and auto insurance?
I am planning to buy a car before school starts again.. I was shopping on craigslist.com and some cars are cheap and sound too good to be true. like this one: http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/car/741877685.html but should i go for it anyway?? should i hire a mechanic to check the car out? if so where can i find one and how much would one cost? will my insurance be expensive?, (im under 18)""
Will Car Insurance Fees Go Up?
So recently i was pulled over for speeding. 50 in a 45. Will my fines go up for just being 5+ the limit? If so how much do you think? Also I'm 16 -Thanks
Can car insurance not pay?
I was recently visiting a friend at his apartment. We heard sirens and looked out---and saw a car on fire next to my motorcycle. The car was totalled as was my motorcyle and another car had damage. The car on fire----his insurance won't pay---they say it was a mechanical failure---and they don't have to pay.
Whats a good cheap health insurance for a college student?
Whats a good cheap health insurance for a college student?
Cheap health insurance?
My health insurance at work is too expensive. Where can I find a low cost health insurance plan?
How much do you think my Motorcycle insurance would be? for a 250CC bike?
I signed up for a motorcycle MSF class to get my license and to get experience riding a bike. I plan on getting a 250cc bike because I think it's what suits my needs and desires of what I want out of a motorcycle. Also, I don't need anything bigger/faster because I'm quite a daredevil and broke my back 3 years ago. Anyways, I'm 25 now and have matured enough to know my limits and to take it easy. Well, one of my main concerns is the cost of insurance. As of now I pay $330 a month for my car insurance. I have somewhat of a bad driving record, and that's why my auto insurance is pretty high. But i haven't done anything too crazy, like no DUI's or license suspensions. Only 1 speeding ticket too out of all these years. Anyways, i've been looking primarily at the Honda CBR250r. What would you guesstimate i will be paying for insurance? A quote for the average coverage and for leisure purposes only too. Thanks.""
In California what is traffic school for? Will my insurance still increase?
I am 19 and got a speeding ticket 85 in a 65 this is my FIRST ticket. I take full responsibility and am ready to accept my consequences. I am not one to drive like that but I was late that day. I know there is no excuse. Soon I am getting my own insurance under my own name. If I take traffic school besides not getting a point on my license will this also prevent insurance increases. If I go to get my insurance will this ticket affect me even though I took traffic school? I live in California and this is my first ticket I am 19 and male.
When buying auto insurance is it better to have your dad own the car and put you as the additional driver to s
When you purchase car insurance is it better to have the car under your parent's name for ownership and add your self as an additional driver for your own policy to save money even when you will be driving most of the time?
Is AmeriPlan a Good insurance company?
it's a health insurance company, and for four people, you only have to pay 60 dollars a month. I was just wondering if it is a rip of, only asking people who have used it or are using it now. What do you think of it. Is it a rip off. Is the 60 dollars a scam, or is that all you have to pay. Thanks so much!""
Insurance rate for 77 year old with 20 year old car? ?
How much do you think insurance would cost monthly for a 77 year old lady and her 20 year old car. At the cheapest to the highest. In Florida. Thank you, for my grandma.""
Will insurance cover a new transmission or total my car?
My dad's 2001 Toyota 4Runner recently broke down and the mechanic said it was b/c water got into the transmission and that we would need a new one. We talked to Geico and they said they would cover the transmission cost plus the cost of some converter thing (both got damaged b/c of weather). But now Geico is saying that if the price goes over $1000 they're just going to total the car. The mechanic said it'll be around $5000 and the adjuster hasn't seen the car yet (he'll try today or on Monday), so do you guys think that Geico will definitely total the car? When we first talked to them they said they would cover everything and I'm guessing they know the cost of a new transmission, so I don't understand why they won't cover it anymore.""
Personal Medical Insurance?
Why is medical insurance is a dream of riches or expensive commodity in U.S.A ? For example, Denmark, Canada, and other countries it is affordable and free to the people who contribute to the development of the country? (In Denmark for example if you can speak Danish, and work, you get free Insurance, like such in another countries). Why can't we make it affordable to everyone? What pro-active thoughts, comments, actions, suggestions you have for in this regard? Thank you.""
Insurance for car accident?
I had a car accident where my mirror and signal were broken as well as my front door got skewed. The insurance company said that they either fix it at their garage or they estimate damage and give me money in return. Which is better?
Is it up to age 26 or through age 26 for insurance coverage on parent's plan?
With health care reform, young adults can now stay on their parent's insurance longer. Is it UP TO the day they turn age 26 or through the age 26 that they are able to have the coverage?""
Motorcycle totaled with no insurance?
Ok long story short I bought a bike few weekends ago on a Saturday morning with a loan on it from a dealer. That same weekend which would be Sunday night I hit some gravel on a curved road and the bike flew from under me and it sounds like its totaled according to the dealer. Problem is I didn't have insurance on it yet because it was the weekend still. And I added insurance that week after it happened but I think they're going to find out I didn't have insurance on it at the time of the accident . Sooo what happens now ? Am I stuck paying for a bike that's totaled ? Does the gap insurance on the loan help me out in anyway ? Please help cause I'm really stressing out about this..
After you sell your car do you get your insurance back?
my car has failed M.O.T and can't be fixed as its to much would i have to pay my car insurance off or get back what ive payed so far
Who need health insurance?
Do a part time job need a health insurance?
I need to get rid of my car because the payments are way to high and insurance sucks?
I bought a 2003 Toyota Avalon a little more than a year ago from a dealer. I put 7000 dollars as a down payment and now am paying 240 a month for 60 months. Its getting kind of hard to pay off the car now with all of the costs going up. The total price of the car was 15000 and I got a bumper to bumper warranty for 5 years/100,000 miles when I bought it at 35,000 miles. The car now has 54.000 miles. How do I trade it in for a car that would cost me less than 200 a month Thanks""
Where can i find cheap moped insurance?
i have just applied for my license and i am going to get a 50cc moped (WK Wasp 50). i was looking around for the price of full comprehensive insurance and the cheapest is around 650... is this cheap? please advise me on any cheap firms thanks!
What cars are listed as sports cars for insurance?
I want a car but it cant be listed as a sports car. And all the cars i like either are or idk. so what cars are sports cars?
Cheapest car insurance in toronto?
Cheapest car insurance in toronto?
What is the best and cheapest car insurance for a first time driver?
I have been driving for about 3 years now. And now I am saving up for my first car. I just want to know whats the best car insurance because I know its gonna be pricey because I am a first time driver and under 25. What do you suggest I should try? I am still doing my research regardless but I want to be prepared to pay for at least 6 months in advance because I am still in college as we speak. I just don't want to worry about that every month when I get the car. Thank you !!
Insurance Question for owners of the 2007 pontiac g5?
Im a 22 yr old male, never had a car before, just got my license; and im about to purchase me a new pontiac g5. Im wondering how much i can expect to pay for insurance every month?Plz help!""
About how much would my auto insurance be? (First-time driver)?
I'm budgeting getting a car and insurance and I don't know how much it would be. It will be my first time driving/having a car or license. So no record of anything, but I'd be a newbie. It'll be in the state of Pennsylvania and it will probably be a pre-owned small car.""
What is a cheep insurance for an 18 year old guy?
Hi i am 18 an live with my parents.I live in Louisiana an have a little white Nissan.I was just wondering about how much would it cost me a mouth for car insurance and what insurance company would be the best to go to.Any information would be helpful thank you very much.
My car is registered in wisconsin how can I get insurance in california?
My mother bought me a car in wisconsin and i live in california, but the car is still registered in her name in WI. how do i get insurance coverage without having to register the car in my name? is it possible?""
Why does Allstate keep increasing my insurance rate?
I am 26 years old, in California. I have had Allstate for almost 2 years now, and every 6 months my rate increases. It went up $200+, and I have not had any tickets/accidents/claims, and I have not moved. When I asked them about this, they just said they are adjusting their rates due to zip code. Seems like bologna to me. Has anyone else had this problem? Which insurer do you recommend?""
""I was misled by auto insurance company, what are my rights here?""
OK i signed out with all-state insurance company. The quote was $380, the agent faxed me only papers to sign since i was happy about the quote. I asked her 2 fax me the Insurance Id card but she did not(i waited a week). After tired of waiting and being turned down by DMV 2 renew my car registration i called the office and asked someone else 2 handle my case. Things went fine without her help , the new guy sent me the Id card immediately. On Friday i received all the papers & the ID cards but i was suprised when i saw $415 ...i called but didn't speak with her, the guy that helped me B4 was like but you signed the papers, i asked him 2 send me the papers i signed again..and guess what? The psycho lady played me cause, she only faxed me papers 2 sign but not the papers that showed $415, all i agreed was based on the quote she gave me which is $380. She never sent me the $415 papers. What can i do with this cause they are not prepared 2 refund me or fix their numbers""
Anyone have good materninty insurance?
HELP... Any advice on good maternity insurance that isn't sooo expensive!!!
Car insurances for a day help?
I just need to drive my car to my new apartment.Right now i don't have car insurances. Is there any way i can get car insurances just for a day. I live in new jersey. I know i can get a car insurances quote but i don't have enough money right now I just need to move it
Cheap health insurance?
My health insurance at work is too expensive. Where can I find a low cost health insurance plan?
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/help-car-insurance-cindy-jones"
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Every Episode Of Reza Aslan’s ‘Believer’ Will Piss Somebody Off (And It’s Awesome)
Reza Aslan is a scholar and writer whose best-selling books include Zealot: The Life and Times of Jesus of Nazareth and No god but God: The Origins, Evolution and Future of Islam. His personal journey took him from being a refugee from Iran as a child, a conversion to Evangelical Christianity as a teenager and now his embrace of the Sufi mystical tradition within Islam. His new show,Believer with Reza Aslan, will debut on CNN Original Series on Sunday, March 5,at 10 PM ET. He spoke with Voices Editor Paul Brandeis Raushenbush about his new series, how he understands religion, and the fact that someone is going to really love each episode, and someone else wont.
Paul Brandeis Raushenbush: Given your own spiritual journey Im thinking that there was something about you that was ready to go out and make this series.
Reza Aslan: No question. My spiritual journey has essentially paralleled my intellectual journey and the meeting of those two has led me to a foundational belief that religions are just different ways of saying a similar thing. Theyre different languages, different symbols, different metaphors for expressing what is oftentimes an identical sentiment or an identical quest or search for transcendence, for meaning, for an experience thats beyond just a material world. My entire goal here is to get the viewer to recognize that these different traditions, they may look weird, they may look foreign, they may look scary, but once you break through them, once you see me experience them, then theyre going to come across as a lot more familiar.
PBR: One of the tensions of the series is that you put yourself in some of the most extreme manifestations of religion, the mountaintop experiences. But these people also have jobs and theyre caring for their elderly parents or their young kids, so I think that its really interesting to also have a sense of how these experiences translate into normal life.
RA: So many times our conversations about religion are on such a weird theoretical level. You have critics of religion essentially using the words of a religious leader or even the text in order to make broad generalizations about religious people when, in reality, there is a world of difference between the top-down religiosity and the actual lived experience of religious people.
PBR: A lot of the traditions covered in the series are formed out of intensely political realities that theyre reacting to and interacting with. Im just curious to what extent politics was overtly present in the conversation or is that always subtext?
RA: I define religion as an identity, not a set of beliefs and practices. Thats probably postulate number one for me. People tend to think that, Oh religion is just something you believe in, right? Well, not for most people, actually. The vast majority of people who raise their hand and say, Im Jewish, Im Christian, or Im Muslim are making identity statements much more so than belief statements.
So, if religion is a matter of identity, then it encompasses every aspect of your life. It cant be divorced from your politics or your social views or your economic views. Its all wrapped up together as one. Even when youre talking about religions that are on the margins like the Aghori in India or Voodou in Haiti or Santa Muerte in Mexico, these are religions that have no choice but to be engaged with the world in which they live. Sometimes (its) because that world is attacking them; sometimes because that world is the enemy; but sometimes because what they are trying to accomplish in the spiritual realm is reflected in the world.
PBR: Much of this series must have been created prior to the election. Does the show have a different kind of edge to it now?
RA: Im going to be honest with you about something, Paul. If you are Black or Latino or gay or Muslim in this country, Trumps election should not have surprised you in the slightest. The show is certainly much more important now. The themes are much more vital because more people are aware of this undercurrent in American society than I think they were a year ago. As someone who has always been aware of it, my goal with this show was from the beginning to make the exotic less exotic, make the fearful less fearful, make people realize that they have a lot more in common with each other than they would possibly imagine. Yes, I think that thats a more important message today than it was a year ago but the message hasnt changed.
PBR: What was the moment when filming for the series when you were like, Get me the hell out of here?
RA: [Laughter] You actually see it happening. There is a moment in the premiere episode, the episode about the Hindu sect the Aghori, when Im at the mercy of this Aghori Sadhu (Holy Man) who take part in ostentatious displays of self-pollution in order to shock the system. So, I knew it intellectually, but being on the sand with a group of them, I did not feel safe and I literally say to my director at one point, Get me out of here. Only later on I realized that he thought I was joking. I was not joking. If I do this show again, Im definitely going to make sure that the director knows what my safe word is because I wouldve used it then.
PBR I love that, a safe word. The flip of that question is, what was the moment when you were tempted to just join and said bye-bye to your crazy life and join up.
RA: Well, I will say, I spent a week among this doomsday community in Hawaii under the leadership of a self-styled messiah named Jesus. The first few days I said to myself, Oh my goodness these people! And in my first conversation with Jesus I thought, Huh! This guy is unhinged and it took maybe two or three more days before I was able to sit down with him again. But I was hanging out with all of his followers and they were all like, Yes, dont worry. Jesus always does that. Hes always like that with people. It takes a while to get to know him. I just kept thinking to myself, Okay. These people are on another wavelength.
Then I had a second conversation with Jesus that we show and I just flat out told him, Stop being messiah and just be a human being and talk to me, and we had like a two-hour conversation. At the end of which I thought to myself, just for a second, Hah! I kind of get why people are drawn to this guy. There is something really honest and authentic about him and he has created this paradise on the Big Island where everything is shared and common and its self-sustaining.
His doomsday message is very much geared on the reality of climate change, so you can make fun of him all you want, but the truth of the matter is that he is right. It is a catastrophe just waiting to happen.
PBR: Spiritual curiosity is almost a tagline for your show. Curiosity is an undervalued religious virtue, but curiosity is perhaps the best trait to have in life and certainly if youre investigating other peoples spirituality or your own for that matter.
So, what is the secret thing you have been dying to tell me that you have told nobody else that is going to be my headline?
RA: Well, I think each one of these episodes is going to piss somebody off.
PBR: Thats a good headline.
RA: That may be, in many ways, like the story of my career, basically. I swear to you, its not something I aim for. Its just something that I dont consider when I make my decisions about what Im going to write or what Im going to say. Im not courting controversy. Im just interested in these issues and Im not going to be constrained by what I think may or may not get me in trouble. There is something in every one of these episodes thats going to get me in trouble. I know
PBR: Is it going to get you in trouble with the people who practice that religion or other people or both?
RA: Yes, sometimes both. I think that there will probably be some very conservative religious people within each one of these traditions that will be unhappy with the way they feel their religion is being portrayed. I just think of the Scientology episode. Whats great about (that) episode is that theres something there for everyone to be angry about. And something for everybody to love. At one point or another everyones going to find something to be angry about.
Trust me.
A version of this interview first appeared on Voices at Auburn.
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from Every Episode Of Reza Aslan’s ‘Believer’ Will Piss Somebody Off (And It’s Awesome)
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