#convo: bex

[goodberrygay]

um who was gonna tell me that Bex meows at you when you play as a Githyanki tav and ask her what a cat is? She’s so stinkin’ cute, I love her even more

[fuckin-sick-bih]

thoughts on catching a snz fit on a dash cam?? idk thought popped into my head just now because i realized i have one that records sound (admittedly not the best quality sound). but it's like a semi private place to snz if you're driving alone and the camera always faces the road?

[cranberrylane]

i get evie i really do

[vanilleandclove]

we’re chained; jack abbot x f!trauma surgeon!reader 

in your twenties you took a chance at the brooding attending in the emergency department despite your modus operandi of never bringing your personal life into your career. luckily, jack abbot doesn’t either. only until that becomes a problem. key moments in your relationship with mr. jack abbot.

warnings: soft and filthy smut, crying during/ after sex, ptsd, arguments about state of relationship (this is based on an actual convo i had with a man lol), angst, heather and robby situationship, reader has a sister, alcohol consumption- covid, death, anti-vaxx views mentioned, I AM A DOC MARTENS BEX CONNOISSEUR- i hiked in them, trump is unfortunately canon, age gap: reader is mid 20s, jack early 40s. word count: 5.3k notes: situationships are my version of vietnam, listen to solo by frank ocean and hey by the pixies. oh they are so every breath you take by the police. also the reader is canonically a millennial mb.

next - thank you anon

august 20, 2015

“Doctor L/n, how do you treat compartment syndrome?” a voice pulled you out of your thoughts, severely regretting the only four hours of sleep given to you and shots of tequila with a girl you met at a bar down the street from your apartment.

“Fasciotomy with ortho consulting” you answered, the bright white LED lights did nothing to remedy the pounding headache.

“Half correct, do you know why?” Doctor Adamson instigated, he was the senior attending for Pittsburgh Trauma, after seeing the look on your face and four of your colleagues, he chose to answer himself “Trauma surgeons are the bottom of the food chain, work far more hours, earn less, specialize in all- if you’re lucky, you’ll get a consult, other than that, you’re on your own” his eyes bore into you, “Now, Doctor Greene is the surgical mentor for prospective trauma surgeons, he works with me, throughout your residency you will rotate through every specialty, remember, residents do not specialize. You change your path at any time, usually trauma only gets and accepts one fellow. Since you’re getting a taste of trauma today, your attendings are Doctor Robinavitch and Doctor Abbot, they’ve been attendings for a bit, they rule in my stead” Adamson continued on, “Your shift starts now and ends in 12 hours, best of luck”.

“Chopra and L/n, you’re with me, Sawyer and Tate, you’re with Doctor Robby” Doctor Abbot read off a chart, you and Amina Chopra were the only women in the residency program for both physician and surgical- at least first year wise. 

“Jesus it’s like they hire based on looks” Amina turned to you with a smile on her face, “John Hopkins, you?”.

“Boston U” you answered, walking up to Doctor Abbot with her. 

“Normally they don’t hand off surgery to us, last week we had the new interns and med students- it was a bit chaotic but since you’re both surgical junkies, I’ll guess you’re used to it” Doctor Abbot explained, “Also, best of luck to you two, upstairs is nothing but a sausage fest”.

Amina laughed a little too prolonged and loud, “Amina Chopra, graduated top 30 at John Hopkins, interned at University of Maryland” she blurted, her eyelashes fluttering.

Doctor Abbot spared a confused glance, tilting his head with feigned curiosity, “And you?” pointing his pen to you.

“Y/n L/n, dual-enrolled in medical school during undergrad at Boston University, interned at Mass-Gen” you confessed, only gaining an impressed look from both of them.

“Explains why your file says 23” Doctor Abbot responded, “Okay, this is Bridget, our charge nurse, she’s filling in for Dana who’s on maternity leave” he pointed as Bridget lightly waved with the phone tucked in her shoulder.

“Stabbing victims from a domestic dispute 6 minutes out” Bridget told him.

“Alright, trauma rooms are usually always available, boarding isn’t as common here unless there’s a holiday or Steelers game” he explained, “Your best friend is going to be these” Doctor Abbot pulled a pair of blades from his front pocket “I carry extra 11 and 15 blades, y’never know when shit is going to hit the fan”.

That was your first impression of Jack Abbot. His first impressed impression of you was when you were the only one who stopped a bleeder in the trauma room, the blood coated your gown and Amina’s face, you took charge of the trauma room as most just stood there.

Then came the nickname, Rambo. 

october 20, 2015

“Do you know Pixies Doctor Abbot?” you broke the ice as you walked side by side, the cold air Pittsburgh and your lack of a sweater but mediocre layering did not provide the warmth needed. Your nipples became painfully erect and the slightest graze would bring both pleasure and pain.

“Okay one, we’re off clock just call me Jack” he chuckled, “Secondly of course your Mass-ass would ask that, thirdly, how old do you think I am?” he continued to joke.

The low-rise, tight, dark wash, denim jeans and the long sleeve undershirt with a tight fit short sleeve paired with black Doc Martens Bex shoes intrigued Jack as the past months he’s only seen you in black scrubs and sneakers- or your Bexs, like today. As did the navy blue loose shirt and light wash denim intrigued you. His camouflage backpack slung over his shoulder and your black Jansport knocked each other every other move.

“Okay… favorite song?” you asked, as you both stopped at an ice cream parlor just down the street from your apartment and Jack’s house that was a few blocks further.

“Hey” he answered, “Yours?”.

“Where Is My Mind” you responded, “Favorite band?”. You stared in his eyes as you waited for a response, a group of teenagers were in front of you both ordering.

“Pearl Jam”.

“Spoken like a true old man” you smiled, “Favorite Pearl Jam song?”.

“Uh uh, what’s your favorite band Rambo?”.

“Alice in Chains, my dad bought the Dirt CD when I was born” you answered, “Now?”.

“Trick question, it’s in between Last Kiss or Elderly Woman” he answered, his eyes not leaving yours, just in time for you both to order.

“How can I help you guys today?” the server asked, a smile on her face.

“May I get a double scoop on a cone of rocky road?” you asked, moving over for Jack.

“I’ll take a double scoop on a cone too with pistachio cream and pecan delight please” he answered as he scooted to pay, giving the girl a 10 dollar tip in cash- she almost refused before he insisted.

You continued your walk, the ice cream melting as you walked on. Your nose was cold and red beneath your makeup, you felt it become wet from the temperature. Jack laughed as you raced against the clock to finish your double scoop. 

The pizza place next door to your apartment had music playing as couples and families sat together both inside and outside, the song was almost coincidental, Elderly Woman Behind the Counter In a Small Town by Pearl Jam. You smiled, wondering as Jack noticed.

“I guess today’s working in your favor” you looked up at him as he discarded the napkin in his hand. You came to a halt, selfishly wanting to spend more time with him. 

He lightly smiled, “I guess so” you both stared into each other’s eyes as Eddie Vedder’s voice sang in the background, you didn’t dare to blink, fearing he’d disappear. 

You breath sped up as your heart raced, the cold freezing your hands but Jack’s warmth radiated off of him. A human furnace. You licked your lips as if it was a hint, a hint he gladly took as his hand went up to your cheek to move your hair out of the way, wiping the residue of rocky road from the corner of your lip. His thumb lightly grazed your bottom lip as you internally pleaded for him to take action.

It was instant, as if you were magnetic. A beautiful collision to a supernova, as your lips collided and fought for dominance, you quickly surrendered. 

“Come up with me” you whispered against his lips, he held you by your back. He exhaled deeply, craving you.

It took five minutes to get to your unit and crash on your couch with him, you were on top of him, legs on both sides of his waist as his hands found purchase underneath your shirts. 

“Do you have a condom?” you asked in between kisses, Jack nodded against your lips as he unclipped your bra, his thumbs grazing your hard nipples, gaining a moan from you.

“Are you sure you want this?”.

“I’m not a virgin if that’s what you’re getting at” you backed up, grabbing the lower hem of your shirts to take off, shrugging your bra off with it and throwing them across your small living you, the look on Jack’s face was one of hunger. “Why?”.

“You can always back out if you want” he told you, groping your tits once more as he pulled you down to suck on your nipples. He felt the clench of your pussy through his jeans as his leg and prosthetic supported you. 

You backed away in order to take off his shirt, revealing his sculpted body and freckled, scarred skin. Tales of war and life littered his torso, you only got more and more turned on from seeing him beneath you. You moved off in order to take off your jeans, the denim sticking to your skin. Jack sat up, taking your hips into his hands as he looked at your thin cotton panties, and the damp spot that formed. He kissed your navel, hipbones and thighs, purposely withholding your aching pussy. Your hands found their way to his curled brunette- a tad ginger hair that had a few greys peaking in, squeezing his nape as his mouth covered your pussy over your panties. 

Moans flower out of your mouth as instinct, pulling at the loose curls in the back of Jack’s head, earning a groan from him. His fingers crawled up to the hem of your underwear, pulling them down to reveal your glistening lips. He looked back up to you, your eyes watering from the tiniest amount of pleasure his tongue gave you. He stood up, jeans still on his body as his cock strained against the denim. Your hand cupping him, a smirk gathered on your face.

You walked him to your bedroom that overlooked the sidewalk, you drew your curtains before sitting down on the edge of your bed. You undid his belt, just about to pull his jeans down, his hand stopped you. A wave of insecurity followed upon Jack as his prosthetic got caught on the denim, he shook it off as he proceeded to take off his jeans, slinging them on the floor with his foot. His briefs revealed the hard-on you had given him, his hands going to take it off once more. Your legs screwed shut in a mix of fear and sexual frustration. 

Jack’s bigger than the other men you have taken. Way bigger. Girth wise you almost prayed in solidarity for your vagina.

“You okay?” he breathed, gaining a nod from you, his hand cupped your cheek, angling your head up, “Say it”.

“I’m okay” you answered, you were hungry, feverish even.

He satiated your thirst and hunger, again and again. Not a care for your neighbors, your bedsheets, your apartment that smelt like candle wax that drizzled down your bodies, the sun that peaked through in the morning as he took his leave while you slept.

Leaving you confused with a significant ache between your thighs and knees.

october 31, 2015

Jane Doe was all you could get from the 29 year old woman who was hit by a drunk driver at an intersection, it was 10 pm and already overtime. Except you were the one who volunteered to be oncall last week. 

You were stubborn she could be brought back even despite her organs failing. She was the same age as your sister.

“L/n it’s a lost cause, step aside” Abbot’s stern voice broke through your ears as you kept on resuscitating the young Jane Doe, “Doctor L/n step down” he pressed further, attempting to grab your hand to pull you off only to be elbowed in the nose. Your ears kept ringing and you couldn’t differentiate the flatline from the minor tinnitus, “Fuck” he groaned, just before he locked your arms above your head.

The flatline blared out in the room as it was just you, Jack, and Jane Doe, your face red with anger and resentment, just as red as the blood that gushed out of Jack’s nose. Jack reached over above your head to trigger the alarms to silence, you were the first to make a sound, a sucked in breath followed by a light wail.

Was it the dead woman who reminded you of your sister? The fact that Jack fucked you 11 days ago and has since ignored you profusely? The overwhelming flow of trauma the past hour that has since died down? Or was it you? You and your inappropriate feelings for your attending that surfaced when he kissed your forehead as you came, the feelings when he kissed your breasts and fondled them like no man ever did, when he stared into your eyes as his thumb and index finger pinched your clit with precision as he other hand was occupied in your throbbing heat. The vibrant hickeys that have now faded to a whisper of what they once were.

“Go home” Jack stated, pulling you away from your thoughts, “I’ll have you reassigned by the turn of the week” he cleared his throat.

You shook your head, “I’m finishing my shift and getting the fuck out of here” you wiped your tears and pushed the doors wide open, finding solace in an empty patient room.

Then the curtain was pulled back by none other than Robby, “Do I even wanna know why Abbot’s bleeding and you’re crying like a puppy just died?”.

Your throat was burning and sore, the eyeliner that coated your waterline was smeared and running. You pressed your lips into a tiny line, “It’s nothing” your emotions forbade you from speaking any higher, or even adequately communicating.

“Doctor Greene wants you to scrub in for thoracotomy, you sure it’s nothing Rambo?” his eyebrow raised, “You did good tonight, if anything, we learned a lot from you”.

You nodded as a way of thanking him before getting up from the bed you sat on, the world kept spinning even after the one-night stand of your life.

december 20, 2015

“Well honey how’s residency going?” your mom asked, “Meet anyone?” She was wrapping presents as Notting Hill played in the back.

There was Jack, who you’ve had the displeasure of working with the past week. He grilled into you hard, only for two days ago, he took you into the supply closet and fucked you. Neither of you spoke of it, you had a bruise on your ass from the metal digging into your skin, Jack’s hand gripped onto the railing and bent the metal. 

“It’s going well I think, Amina is nice we go

out every Friday for celebratory drinks. We’re the only female first years”.

“You’re hiding something” she pointed out, seeing your cheeks flush, “Who’s the guy?”.

Motherly intuition.

“There is no guy- at least officially”.

“Y/n! Please tell me you’re being safe about it” she sighed in disbelief, chuckling lightly.

“I am! We are!” you confessed.

You sent nudes to him, the dirtiest shit imaginable. He left his dog tags at your apartment yesterday before he left, today you wore them and sent a photo with just them on. Put him in a frenzy for hours. By Christmas he was begging you to come back to Pittsburgh as soon as possible.

The first time you spent the night at his house was December 26, 2015, he picked you up from the airport. A little hurt by the fact that he’d go out of his way just for sex. Work and interpersonal relationships only cloud the mind you kept telling yourself.

july 4, 2016

You never mentioned or asked about Jack’s years in the Marines, afraid it wasn’t your place.

So, in Independence Day fashion, after work you let him stay at your apartment. The firework show took place next to your apartment, you had bought ear plugs just in case.

It wasn’t the firework show that freaked him, if anything it sent off his heart to beat a little faster but nothing too serious. It was the illegal fireworks people threw while he was deep inside of you.

“Don’t stop please” your nails dug into his back, eyes rolling back, your window was open for fresh air just as you heard a whistle. You turned your head, hearing the sound whistle come from outside, paying no mind as you were just about to cum.

Just as an M-80 bursted in the air setting off car alarms in the surrounding area and for Jack to immediately pull out of you and shield your head. 

He stood there, guarding you as another M-100 and some firecrackers went off. When you tried to move he gripped your arm immediately, tightly, his brain was on autopilot.

“Jack let go please” you pleaded, his hand was gripping onto your bone at that point and it hurt, “Jack” you repeated, his pupils blown out and his skin began to sweat as his breathing became uneven.

You couldn’t move neither could he, you wrapped your hand around the one that gripped your arm painfully, staring into his eyes even if he couldn’t concentrate or control himself. The feeling of your hand led him to grip onto your shoulder tightly, painfully.

And for the first time, Jack frightened you.

“Jack” you whispered, your eyes swelling up with tears even as you fought it off, the death grip he had on your arm and shoulder hurt. “C’mon come back to me” you pleaded, then you figured it out. “Hey Siri, play Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in A Small Town by Pearl Jam” you announced, your phone luckily catching it as the song played softly, enough to be heard.

You tried to lean in for a kiss only for Jack to regain control from the familiarity. Bruises starting to form on your arm and shoulder, you thought nothing of it as he came back to you. 

jack’s 40th birthday - 2017

The first time Jack let you in was the night of his 40th, he had gone out with Robby and some other friends to a sports bar. By the end of the night you were on his mind.

Not the fact that you bypassed his alarm system and stood in his kitchen at 1 am the night of when he got home in nothing but aquamarine lingerie with a cupcake and candle in hand. 

He smiled at the sight and craziness, as much as he did crave you, he was tired. So instead of sex, you put on his spare clothes and cuddled up on the couches watching a replay of the Pirates v. Cubs that you missed. He played with your styled hair, as your legs intertwined with each other, the cool metal sending goosebumps all over your skin. 

He thought you were asleep when he said I love you. 

You weren’t but, you also knew about the amount of beers in his system and the fact that you weren’t dating. Just fucking with a few extra steps. 

Though the next morning you made sure to put the aquamarine lingerie to good use.

january 20, 2018

The first big argument you had was just as your residency was about to end and you had to apply to fellowships across the nation, you knew you’d get the Pitt guaranteed, you were the only one that stuck to trauma. But it was the formality that you were following.

So when Jack found out you had offers on the East Coast and not once told him, he flipped out when you stayed the night.

“Jack, it's my career!” you shouted, you first started fighting in the backyard patio, now you were both in the bathroom as he brushed his teeth, the towels from the shower you both took hung on your body, “It’s a formality to apply- they pay me to go there and tour”.

“I just don’t see why there’s a need” he shook his head as he spat out the toothpaste.

“Bullshit, when you were in my place you applied elsewhere too” you raked your fingers through your hair, you felt like shit, like he was undermining your career that you built for yourself, “There’s a need because I’m gifted Jack, you were once in my shoes, I would think you’d be more understanding than this”.

“I am understanding, what I don’t get is why that far?”.

“It’s not binding for fucks sakes” you repeated yourself for the past hour, now you were at your wits end, “I’m not staying to fill some sort of void within you Jack, if I stay it’s for the betterment of myself and my career”.

You wanted to break him for making you feel like you were betraying him from a possibility. To make him feel what he was making you feel. Only thing was you were breaking both of you, not for the greater good, not for yourself or him, for approval that you were enough.

All he could give was a nod, he walked out of the en-suite. Grabbed a few clothes to throw on and slammed the dresser and door. You followed suit as he put shoes on and went to the key rack.

“Where are you going?”.

“I need a breather” he curtly replied, not sparing a glance at you once, a faint sniffle emitted from him.

“And that’s where?”.

“If you thought for even a second that this” he pointed between both of you, “Was filling a ‘void’ within me you’re completely fucking mistaken” he cursed, “I’m leaving, you can go to California for all I fucking care”.

You scoffed in his face, refusing to break, “What did you even want from this huh?” you egged on, “Sex and ‘I love you’s’ without any form of attachment? You lead me on 3- almost 4 years and keep me here ‘cuz I’m good fuck?”.

“We agreed to this!” he became irritated, “You’re the one who insisted that a relationship is only going make it complicated just for sex to be fucking complicated” his blood ran hot, “I have been willing to spare my feelings to cater to you and your lack of commitment with this, now you want to leave”.

“It’s a fellowship Jack! It’s a year!” you groaned, “I didn’t think you needed titles and stone cold definitive answers for you to know I love you” you blurted. You never once told him you loved him, whenever he told you he was under the impression you were asleep or unaware.

He was stunned at first, “I can’t do this right now with you” he continued on with leaving.

You wouldn’t see him for another four hours, by the time it reached 12 am you were worried he got into a bar fight, car crash, got shot in an accident- you were paranoid beyond words and reduced to tears.

When Jack came back home he shot you a text, ‘Come outside’. It was freezing and you still went anyway, seeing him sit on his truck bed opening in his driveway.

You took the spot next to him, shivering slightly. “I haven’t felt this way about someone in my life since…” Jack trailed on, “I want you to further your career, I want you to accomplish fucking feats in trauma surgery. Just as much as I want to go home with you or to you. I can’t be selfish about it, but I am, and it’s not fair to you”.

“I want to stay”.

“But-“.

“I want to stay” you repeated, “It’s not entirely because of you, it’s because of this” you used your finger to draw a circle in the air, “As of right now they’re are 7.6 billion people in this world and only one of them I can be everything I want to be with” you cheekily confessed, “So it’s ‘but’ nothing. I’ve been wanting to be with you since I met you. I just thought people would think it’s preferential treatment and I fucked my way up”.

“I can’t hold you back”.

“You’ve taught me enough to blow those fucking boards and competency exams through the roof- I mean I did a lot of the work but you are quite the teacher” you responded, “Plus, when you’re frail and old we can go to California”.

Jack laughed, you spent the rest of the night cuddling, just before you lightly slapped him for worrying you. 

december 24, 2018

It was your first Christmas together. You told your parents there was no possibility of you being able to go, the ED is always swamped during the holiday season. You and Jack had a promise to keep: home by 1 am, warm shower together then presents and maybe sex unless you both crash.

It was 11 pm and your hand was deep in a man’s chest cavity, “Push another round of epi” you demanded, Greene nowhere to be found, you were just a fellow, technically not fully authorized to perform surgery especially in a trauma room.

“Okay no everyone stop, push local anesthesia, I’m going in, I need new gloves and protection glasses now” you demanded, getting a few looks from the interns.

“Y/n cardio is swamped, now’s not the time for a cardiac ablation, especially here” Princess muttered to you, you looked up.

“Seal off the doors, I want only authorized personnel in here only, call Greene, tell him I’m doing a cardiac ablation, our patient has an irregular heartbeat, I need to control that before anything else, I’m going to close him up” you instructed, “Princess please get me a catheter with electrodes”.

“Abbot has them next door” she responded, you looked at the nurse on the phone.

“Call Abbot and tell him I need a catheter with electrodes immediately, he’s authorized to come in”.

“What the fuck is she doing?” Jack cursed under his breath as he made his way downstairs, seeing you close up the Santa impersonator. “Cardiac ablation?”.

You nodded, “Patients stable and closed up, Jesse cut off his pants for me” you told him.

“Can I stay to watch?” he breathed your neck, handing you the catheter.

“Not too close or else I’ll be sticking this in you” you murmured back, Jack took his place next to the monitors.

“I need all the interns to the back, you may not get any closer than that, if you’re paged I’ll clear it later” you shouted, Princess handed you your 11-blade as well as moved the stray pieces of hair.

You made the incision on the groin, inserting the catheter while applying cryoablation. As the scar tissue formed, his arrhythmia stopped completely and he was stabilized, you did it within 10 minutes in complete silence.

“I know you did not just perform surgery unauthorized in a non-sterile trauma room” Gloria’s voice boomed none less than a minute after, the entire floor heard her grilling into you.

All you could do was laugh at it, you saved a man’s life and cured his arrhythmia, he was conscious before your shift ended and gave his thanks, luckily, he didn’t need a pacemaker. He did guarantee that when and if you have kids, he’ll be glad to be Santa for them.

The drive home was quiet as it was 3:40 am in Pittsburgh, snowing and windy. Jack and you took separate cars and he made it home before you. You cursed today as your back and feet hurt, you bruised your hand twice over, and you missed the celebration with Jack.

When you parked next to Jack’s truck in the driveway, the garage being a mess from the Christmas bins being everywhere, you could almost crash, but you’d prefer Jack’s warmth over suffocating in a car so you opened the garage door and went inside. 

Greeted with candles and rose petals all over the place as Frank Sinatra’s rendition of The Christmas Song played. You could cry right then and there when you turned your head to face the living room, seeing the fireplace burn and the Christmas tree lit.

Jack’s hands found their way to your coat, startled for a second from wondering where the hell he came from. He took it off, hung it on the coat rack and let you walk through the house.

“There’s a bath drawn with your name on it Rambo” he whispered in your ear as he ghosted a kiss on your neck, you giggled from not having heard that nickname in over a year. “After we can drink that wine you’ve been talking about the past week, open a few presents…”.

“Wait for me?” you whispered back.

“Always”.

You didn’t make it to open presents, falling asleep on the couch on top of Jack after two glasses of wine. Thankfully, that didn’t become a tradition, you made it a habit to take day shifts during holidays. The next year he gave you an all-inclusive spa membership, you got him a new grill. It was a quiet moment for you both every year, a comforting quiet moment.

august 20, 2020

“You’re working tonight baby?” you questioned, as you poured two cups of hot cocoa for Jack’s niece and nephew. Jack placed a kiss on your cheek. 

Since the pandemic, you were hardly working, they strictly put surgical teams as oncall only as a safety measure. But you saw the strain on Jack. So when his brother insisted on breaking lockdown protocols and having his children stay over, he was displeased and stressed.

“Yeah, Adamson’s not doing well, Robby wants me to rotate out with him” he told you, “I think him and Collins are a thing” he chose to gossip.

You scoffed, “After all the shit he gave you for being with me he does that? At least we were in different departments but they better hope no one finds out” you then added, “But I do love Heather so good for him”.

Jack smiled before looking at you a tad bit more seriously, “I may be back tomorrow or in two days, you think you can drop them off at my brothers?”.

“Yeah might just force them to get vaccinated too” you tried to lighten the mood, “Seriously they’re the first to come to you for medical advice but when it comes to preventive medicine they get psyched out” you sighed.

“Trust me I know” he shook his head, there was a comfortable pause between the two of you, one of knowing and begging to be safe, “I love you”.

“I love you” you replied before kissing him, “Stay safe please hon” he bid his farewells to his niece and nephew who were engulfed in monopoly on the island counter. 

When he came home, he broke the news about Adamson, spent the day holding you in bed as his brother bit the bullet and picked the kids up. You were worried about Jack’s health with the sleepless nights, he insisted you were becoming stir crazy. The next week you had six surgeries, Greene would’ve assisted you but he retired the month before, leaving the trauma department to you. 

dividers by @cafekitsune

[shinycozytwistedglam]

Onyx Storm RECAP ch28-32

Let's gather some lore and resume the journey...

WTF is happening in ch28?

Violet is back in Battle Brief where she's telling the Scooby Gang about her adventure in Deverelli.

Sawyer says that the second deal Courtlyn offered Violet was to "...trade your and Xaden's...services...for weaponry." The word services is doing a nice job of vagueing things up here, especially since it was used in the last chapter as well.

Devara makes Violet analyze the Battle Brief map so she'll stop gossiping with her friends, and we learn the venin have changed strategy and are moving into position in anticipation of the Aretian wards falling. Yikes.

Violet is back in overachiever mode, training with her squad and reading her father's books that she picked up from Narelle. The Scooby Gang are all in research mode, bringing books to read while they watch Signet Sparring in the pit.

Xaden is back from his respite in Aretia, and he & Violet talk down the bond. They're not even flirting...it's more like wistful yearning. He's either reading her thoughts or she's pushing her thoughts into him or...something. Lots of theories out there. (Personally I think Xaden's a full inntinnsic, but it's hard to say because he's been fully reading Violet's thoughts at certain moments since Fourth Wing.)

Carr is running Signet Sparring today, and shit goes sideways when he allows a fire-wielder from Second Wing to terrorize a second-year on the mat. He screams at her to "Wield!" and she drains the mat underneath her. Carr kills her immediately. Violet thinks she turned right there and I tend to agree. She was scared, not vicious.

Does this mean there's a problem with the wards after the rune hijinx? Maybe? We don't know how difficult it used to be for someone to drain for the first time when the wards were at full power. Xaden turned while the wards were down, & we don't know where/how Jack turned.

Did you notice the mention in this chapter about how they're "looking for tales of dark wielders cured by love, or good deeds, or dancing naked under a full moon after drinking the venom of a rare snake found on the farthest isle during a lunar eclipse..." LOL thank you Bex for calling out every fan theory and shooting it in the head right in front of us.

WTF is happening in ch29-32?

Mira has been on leave ahead of the next phase of the journey.

Quest squad is changing a bit. Violet adds Maren and Trager, a griffin flier with field medic skills. Aaric shows up in a swirl of fog and confronts Halden, telling him he won't allow the Continent to fall to dark wielders because Halden can't control his temper.

What the fuck is going on, exactly? Violet & the rest of Quest Squad are flying back to the southern isles to search for more irids (and a solution to the Xaden is Venin problem). They're supposed to visit 1 isle and return to Basgiath to report, but Violet has decided to defy orders and search all the isles before they return home. It's gonna be a long trip!

Where are they headed? First they're going to Unnbriel, the isle dedicated to Dunne, the goddess of war & strength. Chapter headers have described this place in terms similar to Basgiath. Everything is a challenge that begins & ends with blood.

--

Everyone arrives on Unnbriel after eight days of flight + rest. The squad lands in a remote area away from cities, so they can allow soldiers to approach them and set up a meeting with the queen.

Violet & Mira have a super awkward convo about Mira's trip to visit their grandmother. Lilith & Asher were estranged from Grandma, but we don't get an explanation of why.

Unnbriel soldiers show up at dawn to confront the squad. Violet selects Xaden, Cat, Aaric, & Dain to go with her into the city for a challenge and (hopefully) a meeting with the queen.

The squad shows up at the temple of Dunne, where every priest & priestess wears blue robes and has...silver hair. (Wow) Violet spots a girl about 10 years old with hair just like hers, brunette fading to silver, and is desperate to understand more.

The high priestess of Dunne appears to get the challenge started. She slices a cut on Xaden's arm. Then she slices Dain's arm too. She says some cryptic shit to Violet about "I still see us among your potential paths...Dunne will accept you. It is not too late to choose Her." Then when Violet replies "I choose him" (Xaden or Tairn, pick one) the priestess slices Violet's arm as well.

Battle Royale!

Three fights, the weapon of choice is daggers to give Violet the advantage. Violet has her opponent down but the woman won't yield until a lightning strike (!!) hits the arena. (I am almost 100% certain Violet caused this strike but we don't know how she did it. Best guess is...Andarna's power?)

Xaden wins (thanks to an assist from Violet), Violet wins, Dain gets knocked unconscious. Best of 3 makes Quest Squad the winner here.

The queen was Violet's opponent in the match, and she'll only negotiate with the person who bested her. She tells Violet they have no dragons on their isle. When Violet asks for an alliance to help fight the dark wielders, the queen tells her she'll find the cost too high.

Because the cost...is dragons.

Note: this chapter included some super interesting clues about Dunne and Violet's silver hair. I'm planning to unpack all of that in a future dedicated post which I may or may not remember to come back and link here. 🫠

[lemonfairy-yearns]

Your Nature(bexthinker Convo/oneshot)

"What are you for?" Brian asked, the little synthetic animal in front of him, vexing him to no end with its mere existence.

Bex brightly booted up his rehearsed sales pitch for his own being, "Oh, I'm made to do it all! Payroll, repairs, research, bar tending, transcribing, notarizing, building re-siding, fly-fishing, golf caddyin-"

"Allow me to rephrase," Brian interrupted. "Do you have a primary directive?"

Bex froze, his eyes seeming to scan a teleprompter that wasnt there.

"Yes. It's…. Classified…ish. But it's why I look the way I do."

"Like a walking tube of caulk?"

"Like …a …. One of those … nitwits," Bex mumbled, sheepishly. "Toony little… guys."

Brian's eyes narrowed, seeming to consider Bex's meaning. Was he always so shy about his current form?

"I… see.  ….. how did they make you?"

"I'm a ferrous oil paint construct that can manipulate my form,"

"… That's not what I- "

"So," Bex Interrupted back, "I'm mostly Magnets suspended in a fluid base! My innermost construct looks a lot like everyone else's, it's just much much smaller!"

He grinned devilishly, leaning closer to the Prethinker like he had a secret joke just for him. "Check this out."

The "GAK" that made up Bex's face receded, showing a tiny skelecog head; the same build as a mint supervisor, but somehow shrunken down to half the size.

Brian gaped at the sight, but said nothing. "My," he muttered, stammering over himself over what to pry about first. "Can your whole body …. Unpeel like that whenever you wish?"

Bex's face reconstituted into what it had been before, showing no signs of having melted off of his head.

"If I'm ok with cleaning it up after, sure! Of course I usually try to stand over a bucket when I 'jump out of my skin'. Hehe." He chuckled darkly. His face twisted into a curious scrunch. "Is it my turn to ask a question?"

Brian tried to keep his expectations of his fellows coworkers low on the best of days, as often the most dimwitted of toons provided more intellectual stimulation.... if only because of their irritatingly unpredictable nature. Brian was... "gagged", he thought the current colloquialism was?

"…. Of course. It's only…. Reasonable. Do you have one prepared?"

"Yes." Bex proclaimed, very matter of factly. "What does it take for someone to be your friend?"

"What."

Why did that little blob have to pry so deeply during what had to be only their second or third conversation?

"What are the steps?" The inky rabbity thing continued, "Is there a way to do it? If there is, I'd like an opportunity to try please."

Was this little freak serious? Just in case, Brian decided the truth was the best response, it was discouraging enough.

"You could put forth the best possible effort and it still wouldn't be enough. Everyone who has ever worked their way into my prolonged presence has burned my and/or themself, so I have concluded that Making any new friends is not worth the trouble," he finished, hoping that the little asshole would start moping and just leave instead of trying to be kind to him out of naive pity.

He however, wouldn't go. In fact he sat on the floor and started speaking about himself? Self centered little creature, Brian thought.

"I guess it is a sort of trouble. All the new people I've connected with have certainly been trouble. But I guess .. to me …. They are still of worth it, I think, unless being a friend means letting people know your true nature…. Then. I guess I've never truly done it before."

This pinned a strange thread of curiosity about Bex's personal life into Brian's head. Not that he actually cared, it was just sort of interesting.

"What are the benefits of being around these “friends”?"

Bex's face fluttered with small ferrous spikes like leaves on a wind-brushed shrub. "I…. Learn all sorts of strange things most cogs don't know, I practice practical skills with them that most cogs NEVER get to use, I have….. fu n   . . ..." Bex seemed to choke on the word, remembering quite suddenly it was not in company policy to have anything to do with real merriment on the clock.

But that was it wasn't it. It seemed very difficult staying away from it when you have to pretend at it all day. "I think I'm beginning to understand the nature of your work."

Bex gave up on pretending he wasn't just for scamming REAL toons out of their secrets. After all, what else could a Synthetic Toon possibly be for?

"Are you going to tell Mr Bravecog that I had…. The f word? On duty?"

"I get the sense you are supposed to tell him yourself." Brian replied, even more flatly than usual.

"I sort of did, in less...specific language… he knows the activities I participate in…. He doesn't necessarily know how I feel about them."

Why was this.... Intern feeling anything? Why would Mr Bravecog pay to have him be able to think that hard? "So you felt it? That…. Fun … feeling?"

Bex looked at the floor, shame painted across his features, "……..yes."

"What was it like?" Brian asked, the question practically falling out of his speaker of its own free will. He couldn't be concerned with petty feelings... but Not having that data already had been eating him alive.

"It was a lot like…. Being here I suppose." 

WHAT COULD HE POSSIBLY MEAN WITH THAT??? Brian's internal monologue screamed like it didn't already know the answer.

"What are you so surprised about?" Bex wondered aloud.

Brian inhaled sharply, "Even the toons who used to occupy this space did not report thinking of it as.. fun. There is not fun to be had around here," He frustratedly stammered, "Where are you finding it?"

Finally an easy question, "Reading the books you keep down here, helping the desk jockeys remember their command positions, talking to you, I just haven't run out of pleasant experiences here. I think learning is a sort of fun… and I do it a lot when I'm here." Bex hoped that was relatable, but if not, at least it was true.

Brian didnt even register Bex's attempt at connection, baffled at what gave him the gall to say things like this. "You find talking… to me. Pleasant."

Brian had no reason in his mind to believe it, but also no reason to believe Bex was lying. This poor idiot cant do any better?

"I do. I get a bit incensed when others talk about how I shouldn't bother with you. But you're the only normal person at this company. Which I guess inversely makes you weird. I guess I just prefer the way you are."

Brian reeled, yet managed to hold back any facial indication of any opinion on Bex's statements. "You have very… niche taste in associates."

"As long as I'm allowed to associate with you I don't mind so much." said Bex, shrugging.

So he is actually interested in spending time in MY VICINITY SPECIFICALLY. I have to let him. I have to. find out why.

"I suppose as long as you are careful not to interrupt my work, you may, Mr Bonker."

[thesquirrelqueer]

& Juliet 9/14/24 Notes

- crazy swing stuff! khailah!juliet, makai!francois, tiernan!anne, michael!may, phil!eleanor, ava!rosaline/benvolio, alaina!lady cap, dan!richard, esosa!kempe, jas!portia

- makai completely skipping over the line “im not really into drama” so it just went “the girls must be all over you” “I don’t know...im not really into public performances”

- khailah saying “it’s like our parents decide everything for us” instead of “decide our whole lives for us”

- drew saying “I am working about a play about happy marriage”

- drew trying to bite tiernan’s finger on “this is a soliloquy”

- drew just dragging the feather across tiernan’s face instead of booping her

- dan taking juliet’s walkman offstage after BOMT

- phil adjusting his vest in the mirror before taking it offstage after NAG

- makai doing small actual confident choreo on his first chorus instead of just doing the snaps

- khailah audibly asking bex "can you take our picture?" During SML

- michael winking at me after everybody

- "he made you in his own inage- image" cue tiernan giggling at herself

- michael ate acting wise during NAG like they were sooooo good today

- the very fun height different of phil doing the judith part of the SUBG couple’s dance and dan doing the richard part

- dan playing with his earrings during the SUBG gay gossip table

- phil holding a care bear during OMT

- phil and dan having a cute moment of leaning on each other while at the back of the stage during OMT

- khailah singing "so keep the lights on" instead of “so leave the lights on”

- khailah holds the dagger with one hand most of the time

- tiernan saying "MAYbe may is whoever may is" with the emphasis on the may of maybe turning it into another may joke

- tiernan doing two smaller glitter tosses after the first one

- on ”frankie and I are engaged!" khailah grabbed makai's hand and held it for a little bit into the convo between the two of them

- khailah sings in cursive

- the best way I can describe khailah!juliet is a combination of rachel, najah, and also somehow simone biles just like energy and vibe wise. like if she randomly decided to do a backflip I would be like yeah sure why not.

- drew trying to visually count out how many scenes there had been before going “whatever. new scene!”

- dan pointing at me with his bow and winking during the preshow

[blackbird-brewster]

Working on compiling the extended version of Chapter Three of Between You & Me and I decided to include this look at some of the original handwritten outlines.

I think this chapter single handily wins the Most Frustrating chapter of any fic I've ever written. In hindsight, perhaps, trying to work on a fic with such a difficult structure wasn't the best idea when I had covid at the time.

Yet, despite the numerous drafts, the lament as I scrapped everything and started over time and time again, the general frustration when I couldn't figure out the timeline and plot focus -- I think Chapter Three will forever be one of my favourite ones.

I don't think I can ever top JJ's incredible speech about how love is like Key lime pie and subsequently, the way Tara responds. Just peak slow-burn deliciousness in my opinion.

BY&M Extended Cut will get posted as soon as I finish getting everything together! Stay tuned.

BONUS: Text convo with @gaelic-symphony when originally working on Chapter Three. Thank you Bex for always being my BIGGEST Jara enabler supporter

[blogger360ncislarules]

NBC’s Hunting Party aka the “Inmate Recovery Task Force” this Monday night resumed its search for The Pit’s escaped killers. Along the way, Agent Bex Henderson (played by Manifest‘s Melissa Roxburgh) learned a little something about former partner/Pit warden Oliver Odell (Revenge‘s Nick Wechsler).

Years ago, Odell of course infamously set fire to a man who’d abducted a young girl, after torturing him for information. Bex was horrified by the act, and she and Odell have been estranged ever since — until he showed up in a hospital bed at the close of the NBC series’ premiere, to warn Bex that the “accidental” explosion that collapsed The Pit in fact was an orchestrated jailbreak.

Bex didn’t seem to do much with that bombshell this week. Instead, she was a bit fixated on determining if Eli Johnson — her high school friend Naomi’s father, whom a teenage Bex used her nascent profiling skills to put behind bars for a string or local murders — was in The Pit when it went boom. Odell did his best to assure Bex that Johnson hadn’t been sent to the Pit, and then for good measure toward episode’s end arranged for a one-on-one between Bex and Eli (Desperate Housewives‘ Mark Moses).

During their tense chat, Johnson alluded to the fact that Bex lied to the cops back in the day, telling them that she uncovered the damning evidence against him by herself, when in fact she nudged friend Naomi to rummage around her dad’s garage. That truth could have waylaid for Bex any future bid for a federal law enforcement job, had it come to light. But it never did, thanks to young G-man Odell, who saw Bex’s potential (as a teenager??) and thus kept her fib under wraps.

Bex was clearly moved to learn of what Odell did, and said as much when regrouping with him after her chat with Johnson. She started to walk back her reaction to his immolation of that kidnapper, but Odell stopped her, saying it was the right call at the time.

Speaking with TVLine about what Bex will do with her realization that Odell took a risk for her, Roxburgh said, “It’s part of the road to forgiveness. He did a bad thing [with the kidnapper], but seeing that he did protect her in all of those moments where he could have told everyone the truth kind of gives him some ‘bonus points.'”

Odell had better store those bonus points in a safe place, because Bex is about to learning something not so great about her ex-partner. For as seen in this week’s closing moments, CIA agent Jacob Hassani (The Flash‘s Patrick Sabongui) has learned that The Pit’s warden knew the explosion was coming. In fact, 10 minutes ahead of the blast, Odell breached the prison computer system’s firewall to download 1,000 terabytes of encrypted information.

Previewing Bex’s eventual reaction to this newly uncovered instance of sus behavior, Roxburgh told TVLine that she and Odell will “have a ‘convo'” about it, “and there are answers around that.

“We learn that he has an alliance” with a mystery woman played by Kari Matchett (The Night Agent), she continued, “and that he’s trying to figure out some answers [for himself].”

[jonahxrivas]

"I'm sure, do you want anything to drink?" She hadn't sounded convinced but any explanation further on the matter stopped before it could be voiced, Jonah face morphing into something soft as Bex explained her visit. "Bex- that's... that's really sweet of you, thank you." In a way he had been a loss for words, a natural state sure, but this sentiment struck him deep, especially in this state when circumstances spelled nothing good. "You have nothing to apologise for, really, if anything I should be doing that. I'm sorry I haven't dropped by, I wanted to see you but it's just been..." Many number of things could be said here, chaotic, busy, unexpectedly horrid, all would fit, all would be accurate, "It's been a lot. You were affected too, how are you doing?" He couldn't answer on how he was, didn't want to think on it knowing if he did only unwanted thoughts would surface. So he simply shrugged, "Taking it one day at a time, I suppose, I've read up on magic and how it works but there's a lot I don't understand, so, it's both okay and not. Which sounds ridiculous, doesn't it?"

The packed bag and hurried mood did set off alarm bells in Bex's head, as her eyes dropped to the bag and the look on Jonah's face. He said it wasn't that, he was just going to Rohan's, which made sense, it did, but Bex's mind had always been really good at convincing her of the worst. Still, she swallowed and looked back up at Jonah, nodding. "Right, no, yeah, that-- that makes sense."

At his ushering, she followed him back into the apartment and watched him set the bag down, her grip tightening on the strap of her purse. "You're sure? I-- I just wanted to, I dunno...check up on you, I guess? I just...so much has happened, you know? And I guess I just...lost track of things. And what with Rohan and the coven--" she paused, and glanced sheepishly at Jonah-- "I'm sorry. I'm not very good at this. I-- are you doing okay, with it all?"

[osamusbigtits]

"hey, do you think boys are pretty?" osamu asks. he lays in bed, lights off, staring at the ceiling.

atsumu thinks and then looks over. "remember that one coach we had when we were little?"

osamu blinks. they've only had a few volleyball coaches in their lifetime and none of them were particularly attractive. "yeah," osamu replies.

"he was fucking ugly."

"that doesn't answer my question."

atsumu goes quiet again.

osamu speaks. "I mean. aran is pretty."

"yeah, he is," atsumu replies. "but like, that's a given. there are ugly boys."

"I'm not saying all boys are pretty. just some."

"well, yeah, of course. just some. like aran."

"and maybe suna."

"sunarin? I mean. he's not horrible looking, but I wouldn't say pretty."

"really?" osamu sits up. "he is pretty!"

atsumu looks over, still laying down. "kita's pretty."

"yeah," osamu sighs. "he is."

"I mean. if he was a girl, I'd kiss him."

osamu lays back down with a frown. "you wouldn't kiss him as a boy?"

"what- no! I'm not gay!"

"oh. right."

silence.

atsumu shifts. "aran is really pretty though."

osamu smiles, thinking about aran. "he is. I wish I was pretty like that."

"yeah. I wish girls were pretty in that way."

"yeah, me too."

[seemsdykely]

friendship with me is an endless exercise in patiently walking me through patently obvious things as i get surprised that water is indeed wet [jazz hands] (costarring the delicious @hipeerpressure and the delightful@biomechanicaltomato)

sorry best beloveds it’s the ✨brain damage✨

[jonahxrivas]

Breath got caught in his throat and heart held its beat when Rohan stepped through, orchestral music not only sounded to the rest of the party but inside him too. His future husband began to walk closer and nothing else seemed to register for Jonah. Really, just the word itself was enough to make him feel giddy with anticipation again. A moment he'd been wanting forever, he'd been ready for forever, and now it was finally here. Hand covered his face as Rohan stood across him, Jonah foolishly trying to wipe away at his tears before taking his hand in his, "You look beyond stunning," he whispered out, smile widening as gaze looked at the other again, "Happy tears," he agreed and felt his soul alight with the happiness he felt.

They could have this one moment, couldn't they? One moment where dark thoughts didn't plague them, where nothing was on the verge of going horrible wrong. He exhaled softly and turned to Bex, she looked amazing too and was so glad to have her be part of this. "Ready," Jonah said with an assured nod, he'd been waiting for this day for a long time now.

@rohanxpersaudx

With the warm orange sun, the salty breeze, and the lulling melody of the surf on the shoreline, Rohan had, by now, allowed the morning's nerves to settle into a pleasant, buzzing bliss. His heart was still pounding, of course. His ears were ringing. His cheeks were stinging from smiling. As the drapes fell away, he let out the long breath he had been holding. Seeing Jonah across the beach was like seeing him again for the first time, like fate, a universe that had conspired to plant them both in this place.

He could not wait to marry him. He wanted to be his for the rest of their lives. He wanted to spend each and every day making him feel safe and happy and every other thing this wonderful, beautiful man deserved to feel. And with his arm looped through Jonah's mom's, Rohan offered her a smile as he took the first few steps down the aisle.

He did not deserve any of this, some part of him still thought. Happiness. So many people who cared about him, a family, a lifetime with someone he loved so much. He kissed Jonah's mother's cheek before parting, taking his place.

"These are good tears, I swear," he promised, offering a weak laugh as he took Jonah's hand in his own.

@illputabexonyou

[bisexual-horror-fan]

The party was a great time, a lot of very lovely people got to hear about the time I got A-framed. This is what happens when the party is some of my oldest friends I've hooked up with in my poly and kink fuckery and the others are randos who know the hosts but not me.

[fagderolo]

what if i kinned someone w my deadname would that be fucked up or what

[itsmadlcve]

                                 [ @sacrosanctvm . ]

Office hours were really the only time that Jonathan had to himself to catch up on reflecting, grading, etc. Today, he didn’t feel like doing much grading his students would get their exam grade later in the week. He laid on the hammock he had in his office and laid contently as he caught up on the book he had been putting off for some time. He sighed when heard a knock on his door, “The grades aren’t up yet and they won’t be up anytime soon.” He yelled then grumbled when there was another knock. He groaned, tossing his head back as he now had to get out of the hammock and answer the door. 

Jonathan stumbled slightly as he got out of the hammock. He opened the door, expecting someone else, “I am not holding office hours for you to grovel about your low grades so - “ he paused when he finally realized who he was speaking to. Seeing her before him, caused him to smirk. “Well look who it is.. What do I owe the honor?” he asked, looking at her.