#cori says junk

[junkdrawernoggin]

I genuinely can't tell what's different about my two fics. Maybe because the popularity and the demand for BG3 right now. My first fic is a UFO for MHA, 5 chapters and 16k words. It has 26 kudos and 348 hits. Posted the most recent chapter like 7 months ago.

My BG3 piece from last night is by no means even close to my best work (I'd consider myself an average writer, but I only did one edit pass compared to the 5 that the MHA fic has had). It's almost entirely dialogue and just...y'know eh.

It's 6.6k, the longest single chapter I've ever written. It's been up for maybe 12 hours and it has 19 kudos! It has 223 hits! Those numbers are insane. If it continues the way it's going, it'll surpass my MHA piece in 24 hours.

Idk thank y'all for checking it out. I'm really excited. I hope to clean it up when I'm done with classes today.

+ Not only that but it's about my OC! I mean it's mostly about Astarion through my OC's eyes but isn't that so crazy? This character I made and love with my whole heart is being seen by other people! How unique. How lovely to experience that.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

MIT libraries are thriving without Elsevier

I'm coming to BURNING MAN! On TUESDAY (Aug 27) at 1PM, I'm giving a talk called "DISENSHITTIFY OR DIE!" at PALENQUE NORTE (7&E). On WEDNESDAY (Aug 28) at NOON, I'm doing a "Talking Caterpillar" Q&A at LIMINAL LABS (830&C).

Once you learn about the "collective action problem," you start seeing it everywhere. Democrats – including elected officials – all wanted Biden to step down, but none of them wanted to be the first one to take a firm stand, so for months, his campaign limped on: a collective action problem.

Patent trolls use bullshit patents to shake down small businesses, demanding "license fees" that are high, but much lower than the cost of challenging the patent and getting it revoked. Collectively, it would be much cheaper for all the victims to band together and hire a fancy law firm to invalidate the patent, but individually, it makes sense for them all to pay. A collective action problem:

https://locusmag.com/2013/11/cory-doctorow-collective-action/

Musicians get royally screwed by Spotify. Collectively, it would make sense for all of them to boycott the platform, which would bring it to its knees and either make it pay more or put it out of business. Individually, any musician who pulls out of Spotify disappears from the horizon of most music fans, so they all hang in – a collective action problem:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/06/21/off-the-menu/#universally-loathed

Same goes for the businesses that get fucked out of 30% of their app revenues by Apple and Google's mobile business. Without all those apps, Apple and Google wouldn't have a business, but any single app that pulls out commits commercial suicide, so they all hang in there, paying a 30% vig:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/08/15/private-law/#thirty-percent-vig

That's also the case with Amazon sellers, who get rooked for 45-51 cents out of every dollar in platform junk fees, and whose prize for succeeding despite this is to have their product cloned by Amazon, which underprices them because it doesn't have to pay a 51% rake on every sale. Without third-party sellers there'd be no Amazon, but it's impossible to get millions of sellers to all pull out at once, so the Bezos crime family scoops up half of the ecommerce economy in bullshit fees:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/06/attention-rents/#consumer-welfare-queens

This is why one definition of "corruption" is a system with "concentrated gains and diffuse losses." The company that dumps toxic waste in your water supply reaps all the profits of externalizing its waste disposal costs. The people it poisons each bear a fraction of the cost of being poisoned. The environmental criminal has a fat warchest of ill-gotten gains to use to bribe officials and pay fancy lawyers to defend it in court. Its victims are each struggling with the health effects of the crimes, and even without that, they can't possibly match the polluter's resources. Eventually, the polluter spends enough money to convince the Supreme Court to overturn "Chevron deference" and makes it effectively impossible to win the right to clean water and air (or a planet that's not on fire):

https://www.cfr.org/expert-brief/us-supreme-courts-chevron-deference-ruling-will-disrupt-climate-policy

Any time you encounter a shitty, outrageous racket that's stable over long timescales, chances are you're looking at a collective action problem. Certainly, that's the underlying pathology that preserves the scholarly publishing scam, which is one of the most grotesque, wasteful, disgusting frauds in our modern world (and that's saying something, because the field is crowded with many contenders).

Here's how the scholarly publishing scam works: academics do original scholarly research, funded by a mix of private grants, public funding, funding from their universities and other institutions, and private funds. These academics write up their funding and send it to a scholarly journal, usually one that's owned by a small number of firms that formed a scholarly publishing cartel by buying all the smaller publishers in a string of anticompetitive acquisitions. Then, other scholars review the submission, for free. More unpaid scholars do the work of editing the paper. The paper's author is sent a non-negotiable contract that requires them to permanently assign their copyright to the journal, again, for free. Finally, the paper is published, and the institution that paid the researcher to do the original research has to pay again – sometimes tens of thousands of dollars per year! – for the journal in which it appears.

The academic publishing cartel insists that the millions it extracts from academic institutions and the billions it reaps in profit are all in service to serving as neutral, rigorous gatekeepers who ensure that only the best scholarship makes it into print. This is flatly untrue. The "editorial process" the academic publishers take credit for is virtually nonexistent: almost everything they publish is virtually unchanged from the final submission format. They're not even typesetting the paper:

https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00799-018-0234-1

The vetting process for peer-review is a joke. Literally: an Australian academic managed to get his dog appointed to the editorial boards of seven journals:

https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/olivia-doll-predatory-journals

Far from guarding scientific publishing from scams and nonsense, the major journal publishers have stood up entire divisions devoted to pay-to-publish junk science. Elsevier – the largest scholarly publisher – operated a business unit that offered to publish fake journals full of unreveiwed "advertorial" papers written by pharma companies, packaged to look like a real journal:

https://web.archive.org/web/20090504075453/http://blog.bioethics.net/2009/05/merck-makes-phony-peerreview-journal/

Naturally, academics and their institutions hate this system. Not only is it purely parasitic on their labor, it also serves as a massive brake on scholarly progress, by excluding independent researchers, academics at small institutions, and scholars living in the global south from accessing the work of their peers. The publishers enforce this exclusion without mercy or proportion. Take Diego Gomez, a Colombian Masters candidate who faced eight years in prison for accessing a single paywalled academic paper:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2014/07/colombian-student-faces-prison-charges-sharing-academic-article-online

And of course, there's Aaron Swartz, the young activist and Harvard-affiliated computer scientist who was hounded to death after he accessed – but did not publish – papers from MIT's JSTOR library. Aaron had permission to access these papers, but JSTOR, MIT, and the prosecutors Stephen Heymann and Carmen Ortiz argued that because he used a small computer program to access the papers (rather than clicking on each link by hand) he had committed 13 felonies. They threatened him with more than 30 years in prison, and drew out the proceedings until Aaron was out of funds. Aaron hanged himself in 2013:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aaron_Swartz

Academics know all this terrible stuff is going on, but they are trapped in a collective action problem. For an academic to advance in their field, they have to publish, and they have to get their work cited. Academics all try to publish in the big prestige journals – which also come with the highest price-tag for their institutions – because those are the journals other academics read, which means that getting published is top journal increases the likelihood that another academic will find and cite your work.

If academics could all agree to prioritize other journals for reading, then they could also prioritize other journals for submissions. If they could all prioritize other journals for submissions, they could all prioritize other journals for reading. Instead, they all hold one another hostage, through a wicked collective action problem that holds back science, starves their institutions of funding, and puts their colleagues at risk of imprisonment.

Despite this structural barrier, academics have fought tirelessly to escape the event horizon of scholarly publishing's monopoly black hole. They avidly supported "open access" publishers (most notably PLoS), and while these publishers carved out pockets for free-to-access, high quality work, the scholarly publishing cartel struck back with package deals that bundled their predatory "open access" journals in with their traditional journals. Academics had to pay twice for these journals: first, their institutions paid for the package that included them, then the scholars had to pay open access submission fees meant to cover the costs of editing, formatting, etc – all that stuff that basically doesn't exist.

Academics started putting "preprints" of their work on the web, and for a while, it looked like the big preprint archive sites could mount a credible challenge to the scholarly publishing cartel. So the cartel members bought the preprint sites, as when Elsevier bought out SSRN:

https://www.techdirt.com/2016/05/17/disappointing-elsevier-buys-open-access-academic-pre-publisher-ssrn/

Academics were elated in 2011, when Alexandra Elbakyan founded Sci-Hub, a shadow library that aims to make the entire corpus of scholarly work available without barrier, fear or favor:

https://sci-hub.ru/alexandra

Sci-Hub neutralized much of the collective action trap: once an article was available on Sci-Hub, it became much easier for other scholars to locate and cite, which reduced the case for paying for, or publishing in, the cartel's journals:

https://arxiv.org/pdf/2006.14979

The scholarly publishing cartel fought back viciously, suing Elbakyan and Sci-Hub for tens of millions of dollars. Elsevier targeted prepress sites like academia.edu with copyright threats, ordering them to remove scholarly papers that linked to Sci-Hub:

https://svpow.com/2013/12/06/elsevier-is-taking-down-papers-from-academia-edu/

This was extremely (if darkly) funny, because Elsevier's own publications are full of citations to Sci-Hub:

https://eve.gd/2019/08/03/elsevier-threatens-others-for-linking-to-sci-hub-but-does-it-itself/

Meanwhile, scholars kept the pressure up. Tens of thousands of scholars pledged to stop submitting their work to Elsevier:

http://thecostofknowledge.com/

Academics at the very tops of their fields publicly resigned from the editorial board of leading Elsevier journals, and published editorials calling the Elsevier model unethical:

https://www.theguardian.com/science/blog/2012/may/16/system-profit-access-research

And the New Scientist called the racket "indefensible," decrying the it as an industry that made restricting access to knowledge "more profitable than oil":

https://www.newscientist.com/article/mg24032052-900-time-to-break-academic-publishings-stranglehold-on-research/

But the real progress came when academics convinced their institutions, rather than one another, to do something about these predator publishers. First came funders, private and public, who announced that they would only fund open access work:

https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-018-06178-7

Winning over major funders cleared the way for open access advocates worked both the supply-side and the buy-side. In 2019, the entire University of California system announced it would be cutting all of its Elsevier subscriptions:

https://www.science.org/content/article/university-california-boycotts-publishing-giant-elsevier-over-journal-costs-and-open

Emboldened by the UC system's principled action, MIT followed suit in 2020, announcing that it would no longer send $2m every year to Elsevier:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/06/12/digital-feudalism/#nerdfight

It's been four years since MIT's decision to boycott Elsevier, and things are going great. The open access consortium SPARC just published a stocktaking of MIT libraries without Elsevier:

https://sparcopen.org/our-work/big-deal-knowledge-base/unbundling-profiles/mit-libraries/

How are MIT's academics getting by without Elsevier in the stacks? Just fine. If someone at MIT needs access to an Elsevier paper, they can usually access it by asking the researchers to email it to them, or by downloading it from the researcher's site or a prepress archive. When that fails, there's interlibrary loan, whereby other libraries will send articles to MIT's libraries within a day or two. For more pressing needs, the library buys access to individual papers through an on-demand service.

This is how things were predicted to go. The libraries used their own circulation data and the webservice Unsub to figure out what they were likely to lose by dropping Elsevier – it wasn't much!

https://unsub.org/

The MIT story shows how to break a collective action problem – through collective action! Individual scholarly boycotts did little to hurt Elsevier. Large-scale organized boycotts raised awareness, but Elsevier trundled on. Sci-Hub scared the shit out of Elsevier and raised awareness even further, but Elsevier had untold millions to spend on a campaign of legal terror against Sci-Hub and Elbakyan. But all of that, combined with high-profile defections, made it impossible for the big institutions to ignore the issue, and the funders joined the fight. Once the funders were on-side, the academic institutions could be dragged into the fight, too.

Now, Elsevier – and the cartel – is in serious danger. Automated tools – like the Authors Alliance termination of transfer tool – lets academics get the copyright to their papers back from the big journals so they can make them open access:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/09/26/take-it-back/

Unimaginably vast indices of all scholarly publishing serve as important adjuncts to direct access shadow libraries like Sci-Hub:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/10/28/clintons-ghost/#cornucopia-concordance

Collective action problems are never easy to solve, but they're impossible to address through atomized, individual action. It's only when we act as a collective that we can defeat the corruption – the concentrated gains and diffuse losses – that allow greedy, unscrupulous corporations to steal from us, wreck our lives and even imprison us.

Community voting for SXSW is live! If you wanna hear RIDA QADRI and me talk about how GIG WORKERS can DISENSHITTIFY their jobs with INTEROPERABILITY, VOTE FOR THIS ONE!

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/08/16/the-public-sphere/#not-the-elsevier

[fexarii]

WHEN I SEE THAT CLOSED DOOR I'M GONNA CHAINSAW THROUGH !

My last post got tagged as mature and I have no idea why ???? but that doesn't matter, I bring you more whiteboard junk !!! Redraw of a smaller doodle I made on whiteboard ages ago, inspired by that one animation on YouTube by Cory iirc, , ,

What can I say,, B.shot Spamton and a literal chainsaw just go so well together!!

And some more stuff for the read more gang:

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

Pat Bagley, Salt Lake Tribune

* * * *

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

January 19, 2024

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

JAN 19, 2024

President Joe Biden today signed the continuing resolution that will keep the government operating into March.

Meanwhile, the stock market roared as two of the three major indexes hit new record highs. The S&P 500, which measures the value of 500 of the largest companies in the country, and the Dow Jones Industrial Average, which does the same for 30 companies considered to be industry leaders, both rose to all-time highs. The third major index, the Nasdaq Composite, which is weighted toward technology stocks, did not hit a record high, although its 1.7% jump was higher than that of the S&P 500 (1.2%) or the Dow (1.1%).

Investors appear to be buoyed by the fact the rate of inflation has come down in the U.S. and by news that consumers are feeling better about the economy. A report out today by Goldman Sachs Economics Research noted that consumer spending is strong and predicted that “job gains, positive real wage growth, will lead to around 3% real disposable income growth” and that “household balance sheets have strengthened.” It also noted that “[t]he US has led the way on disinflation,” and it predicted further drops in 2024. That will likely mean the sort of interest rate cuts the stock market likes. 

The economic policies of the Biden-Harris administration have also benefited workers. The unemployment rate has been under 4% for more than two years, and wages have risen higher than inflation in that same period. Production is up as well, to 4.9% in the third quarter of 2023 (the U.S. growth rate under Trump even before the pandemic was 2.5%). 

The administration has worked to end some of the most obvious financial inequities in the U.S., such as the unexpected “junk fees” tacked on to airline or concert tickets, or to car or apartment rentals. On Wednesday the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau announced a proposed rule for bank overdraft fees at banks that have more than $10 billion in assets. 

While banks now can charge what they wish if a customer’s balance falls below zero, the proposed rule would allow them to charge no more than what it cost them to break even on providing overdraft services or, alternatively, an industry-wide fee that reflects the amount it costs to deal with overdrafts: $3, $6, $7, or $14. The amount will be established after a public hearing period.

Ken Sweet and Cora Lewis of the Associated Press note that while the average overdraft is $26.61, some banks charge as much as $39 per overdraft. The CFPB estimates that in the past 20 years, banks have collected more than $280 billion in overdraft fees. (One bank’s chief executive officer named his boat “Overdraft.”) Over the past two years, pressure has made banks cut back on their fees and they now take in about $8 billion a year from those overdraft fees. 

Bankers say regulation is unnecessary and will force them to end the overdraft service, pushing people out of the banking system. Biden said that the rule would save U.S. families $3.5 billion annually. 

The administration has also addressed the student loan crisis by reexamining the loan histories of student borrowers. An NPR investigation led by Cory Turner revealed that banks mismanaged loans, denying borrowers the terms under which they had signed on to them. Rather than honoring the government’s promise that so long as a borrower paid what the government thought was reasonable on a loan for 20 or 25 years (undergrad or graduate), the debt would be forgiven, banks urged borrowers to put the loan into “forbearance,” under which payments paused but the debt continued to accrue interest, making the amount balloon. 

The Education Department has been reexamining all those old loans to find this sort of mismanagement as well as other problems, like borrowers not getting credit for payments to count toward their 20 years of payments, or borrowers who chose public service not receiving the debt relief they were promised.

Today the administration announced $4.9 billion of student debt cancellation for almost 74,000 borrowers. That brings the total of borrowers whose debt has been canceled to 3.7 million Americans, with an erasure of $136.6 billion. Nearly 30,000 of today’s relieved borrowers had been in repayment for at least 20 years but never got the relief they should have; nearly 44,000 had earned debt forgiveness after 10 years of public service as teachers, nurses, and firefighters.

Biden has been traveling the country recently, touting how the economic policies of the Biden-Harris administration have benefited ordinary Americans. In Emmaus, Pennsylvania, last Friday he visited a bicycle shop, a running shoe store, and a coffee shop to emphasize how small businesses are booming under his administration: in the three years since he took office, there have been 16 million applications to start new businesses, the highest number on record.

Biden was in Raleigh, North Carolina, yesterday to announce another $82 million in support for broadband access, bringing the total of government infrastructure funding in North Carolina during the Biden administration to $3 billion.  

On social media, the administration compared its investments in the American people to those of President Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s New Deal in the 1930s, which were enormously popular. 

They were popular, that is, until those opposed to business regulation convinced white voters that the government’s protection of civil rights, which came along with its protection of ordinary Americans through regulation of business, provision of a basic social safety net, and promotion of infrastructure, meant redistribution of white tax dollars to undeserving Black people.

The same effort to make sure that ordinary Americans don’t work together to restore basic fairness in the economy and rights in society is visible now in the attempt to attribute a recent Boeing airplane malfunction, in which a door panel blew off mid-flight, to diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) efforts. Tesnim Zekeria at Popular Information yesterday chronicled how that accusation spread across the right-wing ecosystem and onto the Fox News Channel, where Fox Business host Sean Duffy warned: “This is a dangerous business when you’re focused on DEI and maybe less focused on engineering and safety.” 

As Zekeria explains, “this narrative has no basis in fact.” Neither Boeing nor its supplier, Spirit AeroSystems, is particularly diverse, either at the workforce level, where minorities make up 35% of Boeing employees and 26% of those at Spirit AeroSystems, or on the corporate ladder, where the overwhelming majority of executives are white men. Zekeria notes that right-wing media figures have also erroneously blamed last year’s train derailment in Ohio and the collapse of the Silicon Valley Bank on DEI initiatives.

The real culprit at Boeing, Zekeria suggests, was the weakened regulations on Boeing and Spirit thanks to more than $65 million in lobbying efforts.

Perhaps an even more transparent attempt to keep ordinary Americans from working together is the attacks former Fox News Channel personality Tucker Carlson has launched against Vice President Kamala Harris, calling her “a member of the new master race” who “must be shown maximum respect at all times, no matter what she says or does.” Philip Bump of the Washington Post noted yesterday that this construction suggests that Harris, who identifies as both Black and Indian, represents all nonwhite Americans as a united force opposed to white Americans. 

But Harris’s actions actually represent something else altogether. She has crossed the country since June 2022, when the Supreme Court overturned the 1973 Roe v. Wade decision that recognized the constitutional right to abortion, talking about the right of all Americans to bodily autonomy. That the Supreme Court felt able to take away a constitutional right has worried many Americans about what they might do next, and people all over the country have been coming together in opposition to the small minority that appears to have taken over the levers of our democracy. 

Driving the wedge of racism into that majority coalition seems to be a desperate attempt to stop ordinary Americans from taking back control of the country.  

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

[theimpossiblescheme]

(Another entry for @bombawife‘s OC week--this time I get to talk about my Platoria kittens, or rather let their friends and mentors talk about them for me!)

To Aphrodite Jinx, the Junkyard’s self-appointed “handy cat” (but please, call them AJ, all their friends do), Bianca was very much her father’s daughter.  Plato’s cheerful eagerness and restless energy shone out of her, and there was some flickering of forgetting her own strength and trying to channel it into something elegant and calm instead.  But while Plato always looked for ways to make himself needed and useful, Bianca looked to make things useful.  She loved junk–all manner of junk, anything that looked interesting on the pile over the old car boot.  Newspapers, old suitcases, strings of holiday lights, electric bits and bobs, teakettles, tennis racquets, glass jars, orphaned container lids… some of it hung in her corner of the den to decorate the wall, but most of it she rushed over to AJ with questions upon questions.  “Why would somebody ever throw this away?” she wondered, knowing neither of them could answer–who knew why humans did anything?  But oh, weren’t they funny and sometimes rather fascinating?  One afternoon, Bianca helped herself to a pair of welding goggles she’d found hanging on the bedstead, and ever since she refused to take them off.  Most of the time they hung around her neck, but every so often AJ would find her wearing them properly, sprawled out on the ground and determinedly tinkering with some new doodad she’d found, and it always made them smile.  Another afternoon, Bianca tied a ribbon around an old sparkplug, and AJ laughed to see it dangling from her neck as she perused a half-torn book.  You couldn’t deny her creativity, even if it had a strange way of manifesting.  One of these days, they really needed to introduce Bianca to their humans’ garage–she’d have a field day there.

To Tumblebrutus, one of the Junkyard’s many new healers, Cygnus was very much his mama’s boy.  Victoria’s quiet empathy echoed in his voice every time he spoke, reassuring every patient in the den that they were in good paws, and he moved with the same balletic precision that came from sitting and watching her practice every morning.  If only he had her confidence, too.  The kid had it in him, Tumble knew.  He saw it every time Cygnus second-guessed himself about where an injury had come from or how to cure a bad cough, looking back like he knew the answer, but was scared he might be wrong after all.  Some days he needed to prod him along, but other days all he could do was stand back and nod as Cygnus’s instincts guided him.  Let the kid trust himself–it was the only way he’d get better.  And fair was fair, everybody learned at their own pace.  Neither of them had Cori’s extreme soothing calm or Tanto’s mastery of herbs (who did, really?), but he listened with round eyes and perked ears to every lesson.  Cygnus always balked a bit at bandaging wounds, but he took great care not to cut off the bloodflow.  Where he excelled, however, was bedside manner.  He was frankly amazing at getting even younger kittens to sit still and tell them how brave they were, and sometimes he’d jokingly glare back at Tumble for saying a broken leg from backflipping off a car was “pretty cool, you gotta admit.”  And at the end of a long day, they’d send their “latest victim (quit calling them that, you’re gonna scare them off!)” home with a treat and an encouraging word.

To Jemima, the London Jellicles’ Keeper of Memory, Anastasia took after… strangely enough, both of them, and yet neither of them.  Oh, certainly, she had the sweet, earnest nature and soulful eyes everyone knew and loved so dearly, and she was every bit as sublime a dancer.  But there was something lurking underneath.  A frailty that didn’t suit such an energetic kitten–not of body, but of soul.  Like a hairline crack in a porcelain vase.  A sadness, too, that also didn’t belong in someone so young.  Every time Nastya sat alone, away from her little circle of friends (and occasional protective circle of older siblings), Jemima could sense it even from far away.  And so much more besides–glimpses of guttering streetlamps and autumn leaves, pangs of hunger, the heaviness of rain in her fur… and beneath even that, flashes of joy.  Of dancing, twirling skirts, the scent of roses and perfume sprayed to cover sweat, paws clasped to her heart as countless other cats cheered.  She never pried or said anything, of course–a cat valued their privacy above all else–but it was rather like hearing a tearful argument from an upstairs window, except with only one voice.  She couldn’t bear to hear Nastya’s struggling as so many things dead and forgotten boiled to the surface of her mind, and when she finally came to ask for help she wasted no time in telling the dear kitten she didn’t have to figure it all out herself.  Jemima would help her, Victoria and Plato would help her, Bianca, Cygnus, everyone who loved her–they would all be there beside her on this path, like always, toward her own happiness.  And it was the proudest hug Jemima had ever given when Nastya threw grateful arms around her neck and held on tight.

[mitchipedia]

Cory Doctorow: The long lineage of private equity’s looting

Fans of the Sopranos will remember the “bust out” as a mob tactic in which a business is taken over, loaded up with debt, and driven into the ground, wrecking the lives of the business’s workers, customers and suppliers. When the mafia does this, we call it a bust out; when Wall Street does it, we call it “private equity.”

…

For years, the crooks who ran these ops did a brisk trade in blaming the internet. Why did Sears tank? Everyone knows that the 19th century business was an antique, incapable of mounting a challenge in the age of e-commerce. That was a great smokescreen for an old-fashioned bust out that saw corporate looters make off with hundreds of millions, leaving behind empty storefronts and emptier pension accounts for the workers who built the wealth the looters stole:

https://prospect.org/economy/vulture-capitalism-killed-sears/

Same goes for Toys R Us: it wasn’t Amazon that killed the iconic toy retailer – it was the PE bosses who extracted $200m from the chain, then walked away, hands in pockets and whistling, while the businesses collapsed and the workers got zero severance:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/business/wp/2018/06/01/how-can-they-walk-away-with-millions-and-leave-workers-with-zero-toys-r-us-workers-say-they-deserve-severance/

…

It’s a good racket – for the racketeers. Private equity has grown from a finance sideshow to Wall Street’s apex predator, and it’s devouring the real economy through a string of audactious bust outs, each more consequential and depraved than the last.

…

PE shows that it can turn profitable businesses gigantic windfalls, sticking the rest of us with the job of sorting out the smoking craters they leave behind,

…

Today, the PE sector loves a rollup, which is when they buy several related businesses and merge them into one firm. The nominal business-case for a rollup is that the new, bigger firm is more “efficient.” In reality, a rollup’s strength is in eliminating competition. When all the pet groomers, or funeral homes, or urgent care clinics for ten miles share the same owner, they can raise prices, lower wages, and fuck over suppliers.

…

PE’s most ghastly impact is felt in the health care sector. Whole towns' worth of emergency rooms, family practices, labs and other health firms have been scooped up by PE, which has spent more than $1t since 2012 on health acquisitions:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/17/the-doctor-will-fleece-you-now/#pe-in-full-effect

Once a health care company is owned by PE, it is significantly more likely to commit medicare fraud. It also cuts wages and staffing for doctors and nurses. PE-owned facilities do more unnecessary and often dangerous procedures. Appointments get shorter. The companies get embroiled in kickback scandals.

…

As bad as PE is for healthcare, it’s worse for long-term care. PE-owned nursing homes are charnel houses, and there’s a particularly nasty PE scam where elderly patients are tricked into signing up for palliative care, which is never delivered (and isn’t needed, because the patients aren’t dying!). These fake “hospices” get huge payouts from medicare – and the patient is made permanently ineligible for future medicare, because they are recorded being in their final decline:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/26/death-panels/#what-the-heck-is-going-on-with-CMS

…

Private equity is behind the mass rollup of single-family homes across America. Wall Street landlords are the worst landlords in America, who load up your rent with junk fees, leave your home in a state of dangerous disrepair, and evict you at the drop of a hat:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/08/16/die-miete-ist-zu-hoch/#assets-v-human-rights

As these houses decay through neglect, private equity makes a bundle from tenants and even more borrowing against the houses. In a few short years, much of America’s desperately undersupplied housing stock will be beyond repair. It’s a bust out.

You know all those exploding trains filled with dangerous chemicals that poison entire towns? Private equity bust outs:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/02/04/up-your-nose/#rail-barons

…

PetSmart – looted for $30 billion by RaymondSvider and his PE fund BC Partners – is a slaughterhouse for animals. The company systematically neglects animals – failing to pay workers to come in and feed them, say, or refusing to provide backup power to run during power outages, letting animals freeze or roast to death. Though PetSmart has its own vet clinics, the company doesn’t want to pay its vets to nurse the animals it damages, so it denies them care. But the company is also too cheap to euthanize those animals, so it lets them starve to death. PetSmart is also too cheap to cremate the animals, so its traumatized staff are ordered to smuggle the dead, rotting animals into random dumpsters.

All this happened while PetSmart’s sales increased by 60%, matched by growth in the company’s gross margins. All that money went to the bust out.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/antoinegara/2021/09/27/the-30-billion-kitty-meet-the-investor-who-made-a-fortune-on-pet-food/

[lookninjas]

If Glee Did a Depeche Mode Tribute Episode

(Starting with this one because it had four votes to three for the Sad Bangers, and the one person who voted only for the Sad Bangers seemed to be looking for music recs, and so that needs a little more thought than just me making jokes.  But I will do both.  It’s a day off and it’s icy as hell so.)

We start the episode with the Cheerios in a darkened gym doing a spectacular choreographed routine to a (heavily edited) version of ���Master and Servant.”  There are chains.  There might be fire.  Heather Morris dances her ass off.    Through it all, Sue Sylvester scowls and looks unimpressed.  At the end of the routine, she demands the Cheerios tell her what the song is about. 

Santana:  “Um, Martin Gore’s dissatisfaction with standard gender roles and capitalist society?”

Sue:  “WRONG.  It’s about SEX.  And POWER.”

Brittany:  (quietly)  “Actually I think it’s what Santana said.”

We cut to the hallway, where Will walks up to Sue and asks her if she really thinks the new Cheerios routine is appropriate.  She tells him that he better get over his weird Depeche Mode hangups and fast, because she’s just got a hot tip that one of the judges for Regionals is a huge fan of the Mode, and anyone who can’t do a solid DM number is sure to lose.

And so begins:  Depeche Mode Week at McKinley High!

A reluctant-looking Will Schuester writes the words Depeche Mode on the whiteboard in the choir room.  He might not be excited about the task ahead of him, but several students clearly are.  Tina is the first to volunteer a song.  She begins “A Question of Lust,” but is cut off midway through the chorus by Will, who deems the song inappropriate.  Santana protests, as do Tina, Mike, and Kurt, but all four are shut down.  Kurt, in an effort to present a more parent-friendly Depeche Mode, breaks out his lower register to perform “New Dress,” which a half-listening Will dismisses as being a meaningless song about clothes.  Again, protests break out; again they are shut down.  The class session ends with Will telling the kids that it will be hard for them to find a Depeche Mode song they can perform, but that they’re just going to keep trying.

Finn and Rachel have an argument in an empty classroom.  Finn wants to do something for Depeche Mode week.  He believes that he and Rachel can sway Mr. Schue into liking the band.  Rachel announces that she thinks Mr. Schue is right.  Depeche Mode, she argues, is dated.  It lacks mainstream appeal.  They should be doing something timeless.  Something everyone can agree on.

Finn: “Like show tunes?”

Finn accuses Rachel of only wanting to perform songs she thinks are in her wheelhouse.  Rachel points out that Depeche Mode isn’t exactly Finn’s genre either.  He says he’s not afraid to try something different, unlike her.  Rachel declares that she’s not afraid of anything.  The argument ends with the two of them in the choir room performing a mashup of “Leave in Silence” and “Enjoy the Silence,” which works far better than it has a right to.  Will tells them that it’s a “good try,” but that something’s missing.  Finn and Rachel turn to one another in dismay.

(Glee later releases the Lea Michele version of “Enjoy the Silence,” which becomes a moderate success; they never release Cory’s version of “Leave in Silence” and I am annoyed by this for the rest of my life.)

Several glee clubbers go to the mall, where they discuss the ongoing Depeche Mode situation.  Mike and Blaine are still determined to find a Depeche Mode song that Mr. Schue will like, but Santana and Kurt have given up.  They’re in the food court, picking at junk food, when the Warblers come dancing through, buying everything in sight to the tune of “Everything Counts.”  At the end of the song, Sebastian says, mockingly, “See you at Regionals!”  Mike, Blaine, and Artie look at each other.  They know they’re in trouble. 

Will has lunch with Emma and Coach Beiste.  He confesses that he’s struggling to find a Depeche Mode that he, personally, connects to.  Emma tells him that it’s because he’s a Normie.  When Will protests, Coach Beiste backs Emma up.  Will was in glee club when glee club was popular; he dated a cheerleader.  He’s not going through the same things the current glee club is.  Depeche Mode, Emma explains, is for gender rebels and fabulous communists.  It’s not for men who wear sweater vests.  Maybe Will should try something more his speed, like Wham!  Coach Beiste suggests they split the difference and do Tears for Fears.  Will walks away looking disturbed.  Is he a Normie?  Are his sweater vests holding him back from embracing the Mode?  This is the most-gifed scene in the entire episode, and excerpts of the dialogue make it onto everyone’s Best of Emma Pillsbury videos, and rightly so.

Will walks past the empty choir room, only to hear Santana singing “Somebody” inside.  He doubles back to look through the doorway -- Santana’s singing to Brittany, with Brad playing piano.  It’s beautiful.  It’s the theme song to literally every Brittana video, and it should be.  At the end of the song, Brittany asks why Santana didn’t sing in front of the whole class.  Santana says, bitterly, that Mr. Schuester would only find something in the song to hate, and she doesn’t feel like getting picked apart.  Not when it’s something she actually cares about.

Will walks away looking even sadder. 

Mike, Blaine, and Artie take to the stage to perform a boybandish and weirdly ominous version of “Get the Balance Right!”, interspersed with scenes of Will teaching, Will getting groceries, Will brushing his teeth, etc.  Mike, Blaine, and Artie are in every scene, popping out from behind walls, watching him in the mirror, etc.  It’s creepy and also deeply hilarious.  Will himself sings the final “Almost...”, which is also deeply hilarious. 

In the penultimate scene of the episode, the glee club is gathered in the choir room.  Will announces that he has a song he’d like them to try out, potentially for Regionals.  He passes out sheet music, and the glee club reacts in surprise and confusion.  It’s... Depeche Mode. 

Kurt:  “Mr. Schue, you hate Depeche Mode.”

Will confesses that he has a hard time relating to Depeche Mode, but that this isn’t all about him.  It’s something the glee club obviously connects with.  Moreover, he thinks this is something the audience will connect to as well.  The New Directions happily take the stage to perform “People are People.”  It’s a fun, upbeat group number -- everyone’s laughing and having a good time.  Mercedes gets to sing for the first time all episode.  Will watches them from the audience, satisfied and smiling.

Three episodes later, at Regionals, absolutely no one sings any Depeche Mode.  (The “joke” club, however, is a group from a Waldorf school dressed in matching chunky sweaters, who perform a haunting version of “Listen” by Tears for Fears.)  At the end of the season, Will performs “A Question of Time” for the graduating seniors, a moment so inappropriate it makes it into like twenty different Buzzfeed listicles.  I make an angry tumblr post about how unfair it is that Tina got shut down on “A Question of Lust,” and now Will goes on to sing this.  The post gets three notes, one of which I am never able to see.

The Depeche Mode episode itself goes down in history as... an episode of Glee.  Some people thought it was weird.  Most people liked it okay.  No one really has any strong feelings about it.

Except for me, ‘cause it’s obviously my favorite.

[jonathangroffappreciation]

Lea interview

Quotes from an interview with Lea Michele on the Story + Rain podcast, which was recorded a few days after the Spring Awakening reunion concert. 

- 20.30: Lea says Ryan Murphy came to see Spring Awakening before he filmed the Pretty/Handsome pilot in Los Angeles for two weeks with Jonathan. Lea talks about going to the Chateau Marmont with Jonathan and Ryan when Broadway shut down over the same period. Ryan then offered Jonathan and Lea the leads in Glee, which Jonathan turned down (and Cory Monteith took the role). Lea says Jonathan kept saying “Ryan is writing this show for the two of us. It’s called Glee and we’re going to be on television.”

- 31.30: After discussing the “healing” Spring Awakening reunion concert, Lea says she is going to dinner that night with Jonathan and John Gallagher Jr, and “taking Jonathan out tomorrow”. There is a cast group chat called ‘Our Junk’ and a separate ‘girls’ group chat. 

- 35.50: Lea talks about being inspired by creative people in New York. “Like my best friend Jonathan is so inspiring to me. He is always doing different things and trying different things and he is not guided by fear or anxiety, which I am a lot. So I am so inspired by him.”

[absoluteindulgence]

How the Boys Give/Recieve

A/N: GOOD EVENING/GOODNIGHT Y'ALL IT'S 3AM WHERE I AM LOL. TAGS: @royaltywritesstuff, @burnedbyshoto, @ikinabi . I HAD ANOTHER NAUGHTY HEADCANON IDEA AND WANTED TO SHARE THEM WITH YOU GUYS. THIS HC IS LONG AF, SORRY IN ADVANCE BUT ENJOY THE FOOD. THE CHARACTERS ARE AGED UP (18+). THANK YOU FOR THE SUPPORT.

☀️🌞MIRIO🌞☀️

Give:

My baby is sweet and kind! Hella, eager to eat you like his last meal!

Will tell you to pee before and after sex (because he cares).

After you come out of the bathroom, there are towels for your body and pillows for your head. (He's always prepared).

He gets cocky when you get comfortable on the bed, telling you, “You’re gonna need the pillows big time.” You don’t even bother asking why, but your imagination roams. 

When he lays you down, he grazes your legs lightly. It’s therapeutic but also makes your senses aware and sensitive to his touch. Mirio is a little impatient to taste you, so he won't tease you longer than 30 seconds.

This dude will literally whisper "ITADAKIMASU" to your pussy. You're going to melt.

“Hey Sunshine, I’m sorry I lied to you. Remember how I told you I love to eat Ramen, it turns out that’s my second love. My first is you.”

Melt, reform, then EXPLODE.

His kisses are littered all between your inner thighs, reminding you how wonderful you are. Goes on to call you his Sunshine and Sunflower.

He's hella skilled because you taught him what you liked. He always pays attention to your body. From your breathing to the way your thighs shake.

His tongue on your clit is a signature of, many swivels, sucks, and spelling "I love you."

Receive

He’s a beefy boi, so imagine what’s underneath the underwear. Change your hero name from Lemillion to LePacking, honey

He's very enthusiastic, damn near antsy all from you just touching or staring at his piece.

He calls his cock "Your Love Rod" or "Man muscle" I'M CACKLING

It's really all jokes, but if you do say it while stroking him, dick gon twitch something crazy.

He gets all shy when you’re talking to him before placing your mouth on his tip. Jokingly tell him, “Your precum is enough to put in a cup, baby.” His face is gonna be RED.

Enveloping his cock in your mouth was trouble at first, but now you gobble him up like a thick ass banana. He’s always vocal, from light moans to deep groans. Very loud at times, groaning your name, telling you, “Damn, you’re so fucking good at this.” He’s usually out of breath.

He likes to grab your hair or the back of your head and apply a little pressure. He won’t always do it, but he knows you like the contact. Mirio’s eyes will occasionally be closed as his muscles tense. 

Sometimes you'll say, “Focus on me," and as soon as your eyes meet, you suck him off like a jolly rancher. His face is stuck in surprise and lust.

Bonus: Also, sidebar because thanks to @coconutnunnicorn​ , I will add that this fool does come home one day with that funny ass elephant hammock g-string, and it makes for a weird night. You spend an hour laughing, trying to breathe air back into your body, but that goes nowhere. He makes the noise, and you fucking lose it all over again. Imagine Mirio singing the chorus to Work It by Missy Elliot. We really love this dork lmao

❄SHOUTO🔥

Give:

His hands are so skilled, whether it's to massage your back, feet, or hands. So imagine how it feels when he massages your inner thighs.

Its the most sensual feeling imaginable. Shouto takes pleasure in pleasing you since you do for him in so many ways.

He doesn't just focus on your clit because that's not the only way of pleasure (he looked it up on google and tried new methods on you)

He likes to lick your inner and outer lips (labia majora and minora) since it shocks you, sometimes you'll hear a low chuckle and die on the inside from the heat of his mouth fanning over you.

His kisses to your clit are just as passionate as if he was kissing the lips on your face. He doesn't hold back from massaging your inner thighs, either.

He loves to squeeze and kiss them might leave a couple of hickies after stimulating you.

His thick fingers are always hooked inside you, waiting for your walls to clench around him.

Your moans are chaotic cries as you whisper or shout his name. 

Receive

So you pretend like you don't know what you're doing with him at times since his size is abnormally thicc. You tease him saying he can't fit in your mouth.

Shouto is so fucking sassy, so he looks at you like, "Oh yeah? And yet you called me during your break telling me to shove it down your throat."

You giggle while rubbing your hands down his chest, taking tiny licks at his shaft. They start gentle and rise to be longer. Your tongue circles his tip and boom, you’re deepthroating him.

His eyes shoot the deepest level of lust you can fathom as you give him eye contact. A cheeky smile creeps upon his face as he praises you.

“You take me so well” headass

Suck his tip like a Capri sun, and his toes will curl, but if you swallow his whole cock, he might lose control, and his quirk goes off. How do that D*ntyne Fire and Ice taste?

😈SHINSOU👿

Give:

Ultimate tease, swear to our lord and savior, cory in the house.

He likes to overstimulate you, lightly pressing his hands into your inner thighs, repeatedly saying that you're good enough to eat. Kissing your hip bones as he leaves hickeys and love bites from your belly button to above your knees.

"All of a sudden, I think I'm a cannibal" That line is gonna make you look at him with worry until his warm tongue meets with your awaiting bundle (compliments to Lyssa lmao)

Your moans make him suck and swivel faster until you release.

Your body heaves up and down fast as you try to regain your composure.

Shinsou is the type to close your thighs on his neck or face then ask, "You think we're done, Kitten?"

He gets back to business, and in between licks on your overstimulated clit, he says, "I - don't - think - you’re - loud - enough." His finisher move to end all your orgasms is spelling your name because you’re all he thinks about.

Waking up the morning after, your voice is gone, but he's already making you tea and your favorite breakfast.

Receive:

THICKY WITH THE STIFFY UH

He listens to 69 once, and that’s how he initiates head with you almost every time.

You wanna slap the shit out of him but take it out on his cock instead. Which he likes.

His cock is long with a decent girth. Like when you slap it up with your hands or lips, usually, he bites his own lips watching you do it. His dick twitches wild when you gargle him.

He likes to see how long you can keep eye contact, especially if he’s pulling your hair. I feel like he doesn’t mind your teeth grazing his skin because it’s a testament to how big he is in your mouth.

He’s disgusting in the sense where he likes you to spit all on his dick, “Wet it up nicely, Kitten.”

💥KATSUKI💥

Give:

Everything is a damn competition for this bastard. How many times can you cum? How fast will your legs shake? How many times will you pull his hair?

He pays close attention to your reactions.

He has a big mouth and knows how to use it.

So many times you'll tell him he's a shit talker and he grabs his junk saying, "And you know I can back it up. Now get on the fucking bed".

Sometimes he's rough on purpose because you react a little differently. And it's not the awkward way, but sometimes when you tell him to keep going, he goes beast mode on the pussy.

Grabbing your breasts or thighs, grunting as he eats. He licks your entire vaginal area. The first time he did it, you laughed because it tickled, but now it's become an overwhelming sensation for you.

You grab his hair with your thighs/legs tightening around his head, trying to push him away. But he grabs your thighs tighter, spreading you as wide as possible while holding them down.

You try to struggle, but he says, "Princess, I'm trying to eat. Are you going to let me?" After you nod, he says, "Then open your fucking legs, or I won't let you cum."

After you behave, he starts slow and but gradually gets faster and acts more ravenous than before.

He likes to spell out his (full) name fingers deep in you because, like I said, he fancies a challenge.

Receive:

He can be a real roughhouse at times

This asshole doesn’t care how you decide to suck him off, he’s a meaty big boi and loves threatening you with his dick.

EXAMPLE: “Bakugou, why the fuck did you delete the new episode of my favorite show.” “Because I’m tired of you fucking whining about you missing it.” “Well, how the fuck does this change what I’m going through?” “You’ll be quieter.” “Fuck you, Ratsuki” “Say it louder so that I fuck your mouth.” As you’re about to say something, he throws you DVDs of the whole fucking season. Before you can thank him, this entitled little bitch says, “You want an apology, you can suck it out the tip of my cock.”

Usually, you would get mad, but you happily oblige yanking his shit damn near from his body.

He curses you out, but you end up stroking him, a hand gripped tightly around his shaft with your mouth like a sturdy suction cup. He is surprised by your force as he adjusts while seated. He wants to hold your head down but wants to see how far you go without his help, shit-talking in the midst of it all, “Yeah, baby, I told you, you’ll be quieter.”

You roll your eyes and lick his tip gently.

Any other time he's not an asshole, you are a PRO with his THICC stick of dynamite. Sucking, Spitting, SLURPING (BECAUSE HE LOVES THE SOUNDS) HE THINKS HE'S BETTER THAN SPAGHETTI OR ANY POPSICLE YOU PUT IN YOUR MOUTH. You joke about how he's not gluten-free, and he will groan, making you laugh and making him nut.

Whether on purpose or accident, he says, "Here's your new skincare." If you know, you know.

Bonus: First, imagine your neighbors hearing this little argument, 0-100000 real quick. Second, imagine making Bakugou nut after you’ve over-stim him just because you laughed. Does that make him sensitive, or just hearing you laugh made him reach his limit? Also, I got the apology line from the artist ChuuRingo on Twitter!

🌋EIJIROU🌋

Give:

This man is so fucking gentle.

The first time he went downtown, he asked what you liked and wanted to know how you felt. The second time, did everything right/everything you wanted without asking.

Now every time after, your body is left in shakes and sweats.

He loves to leave you in a puddle.

Kiri loves to climb on top of you, kiss you all the way down to your sweetness. Breathy gasps escape your lips when his lips make contact with your neck, collarbone, the top of your breasts.

Sometimes he gets sidetracked playing with your nipples but still trails his kisses down your stomach till he reaches his right destination.

Kiri tries different techniques all the time, they all work wonders on you. He is so needy for your moans and touches. Rubs you wherever his hands will roam, his body worship coming into play.

He’s a little crazy because he loves when you squeeze his head between his thighs. Let him know you’re close to coming. There have been times where he almost passed out, he never told you. Kiri said that he would be happy to die between your legs, though. You jokingly tell him that’s manly but really apologize for having so much orgasmic strength.

Kiri loves to spell your name and his, his tongue is exceptionally fast so you can only imagine that he’s been practicing to do that with you for a long time.

Receive:

He loves to look at your lips and reminds you that you're so beautiful while giving him the good old skippity mmmmmbop

He's so cliche at times that he will tell you, "Damn, I haven't activated my quirk, yet I feel unbreakable already."

Cornball city, Mirio, and Kiri put your clown wigs back on.

He's so confident in your skills as he lays on the bed you share, spread the fuck out while you crawl in between his legs.

You tease him a little, but he's patient. He knows you're building up suspense or staring at his huge cock. Knowing that you love his size, girth, and the color of his throbber.

There are times that after he finished making you cum through oral that your orgasms lubricate your throat and relax your jaw. So it leads to super happy fun times for Mr. Red Daddy Riot.

Now you, like a challenge. Challenging how strokes, how many sucks, how many times you can lick his balls before he nuts.

His body shudders no matter where you put your tongue.

If you swallow, he goes above and beyond for you for the next six-eight sessions, or even if you seriously tap out. If you spit, he's gonna cuddle you into oblivion as you guys have a cheat day date with ice cream.

Finished 2:30AM EST 1.30.2020

[loveforpreserumsteve]

Power of Three: "ALN" Story (Pre-Serum Omega!Steve and Alpha!Bucky Modern Domestic AU)

Twenty-Eight:

Always true to his word, Bucky scheduled and received the procedure that week. Friday, to be exact, so he wouldn't have to work while sore. So, there he was with a bag of frozen blueberries on his balls, a Star Trek marathon on the TV and Greg curled up by his feet. Beside him, Kit slept cuddled up to his frame, content to have his daddy idly marking him.

On the other side of the couch, Steve rested his eyes while his arm was draped over a snoozing Oliver. In the swings, the triplets peacefully slept through their afternoon nap. And Finn was sitting on the floor, quietly practicing the keys that Nana Bella marked on his keyboard.

Really, it was just a typical Saturday in their house.

Until the front door burst open, and Becca stormed into the living room. Her scent was strong with a sour undertone, and if Steve didn't know any better, he'd assume she was looking for a fight.

Instead, she started, "I'm too young to be a grandmother!"

As Oliver stirred, so did the other kids. So did the triplets.

"Way to go, Becks," Bucky rolled his eyes and removed the bag of frozen berries from his junk so he could tend to the babies along with Steve.

"Oh god, I'm going to have to go through the baby phase all over again," Becca looked like she was about to be sick.

Lifting Cori from her swing, Steve suggested to the boys, "Why don't you go upstairs and play."

Rolling his eyes, Oliver climbed off the couch and sassed, "If you want us to leave, just say so."

Giving their oldest A Look, Bucky reiterated, "Leave. Go on. All three of you before Auntie Becks says something that you really shouldn't hear."

"Fine," Oliver theatrically sighed and tossed his head back before he left the living room.

Holding both Bitsy and Nevie, Bucky tried to calm down his daughters as well as his twin sister, "Hate to break it to you, but we're not that young."

"I'm too young to be a grandmother," Becca enunciated.

"Mom and dad were younger when you and Dum Dum made them grandparents," Bucky reminded, swaying with two of the triplets in his arms.

Shocked, Becca took a moment before arguing, "That was a low blow, James."

"I'm just saying," Bucky chuckled.

Rocking Cori, Steve shrugged, "I mean, to be fair, we're old."

"But you've got little kids," Becca slumped onto the sofa, "You won't be grandparents until you're in, like, your 50s or something."

"Well," Steve set Cori on one of the playmats, "At least you'll be a hot grandma."

"Besides, Violet and Kristy are older than you and Dum Dum were," Bucky offered, "They're also more prepared. They have their shit together so much better than I did for most of my adult life."

"Yeah, you're right," Becca agreed while Bucky handed Nevie to Steve since it was always easier to soothe one baby at a time. Then, Becca revealed, "But it's Camila and Arthur."

"Who the hell is Arthur?" Bucky questioned, brows furrowing as he laid Bitsy on her back on the playmat.

"Apparently some boy she met at a party," Becca pinched the bridge of her nose the same way she did whenever she started getting a headache.

Bucky crossed his arms along his chest, "So, it was a one night stand?"

"It was clearly a mistake," Becca sighed.

Huffing, Bucky plopped down on the chaise portion of the sofa and placed the frozen bag back on his balls. Brows deeply furrowed and anger coursing through the bond, "Things happen. You can't call it a mistake if she doesn't."

Beyond frustrated, Becca pointed accusingly at her twin, "You can't say it isn't. What if this was Oliver? Would you be okay with him coming home one day and saying, 'I got someone I met at a party pregnant?'"

"I mean," Bucky started while Steve turned towards his husband and joked, "Is that how you told your family?"

"Ya know, I really should've," Bucky played along. "Instead, I told them, 'I met the man I want to spend the rest of my life with."

"Sap," Steve mocked, blowing his mate a kiss. Setting a calmer Nevie down, he continued, "We'd be hypocrites if we got upset about that."

"You don't count though," Becca rolled her eyes and crossed her arms along her chest, "You two are compatible. That's not an everyday kind of thing."

"Who knows, Camila and Arthur could be compatible or something," Bucky eased at his own reasoning while his sister did not. Clearly the twins didn't share the same sentiments when it came to soulmates. Of course, Steve didn't use to believe in them either.

"She's a child," Becca argued.

"She's your child," Bucky corrected. Softly, he continued, "But she's an adult, Becks. Just like you and Dum Dum were."

"No, not like me and Dum Dum. Me and Dum Dum were two stupid kids who had been dating for months." Becca ran her hand through her unruly brown curls, "This is Camila. She's supposed to be smarter than we were. She was supposed to do better than us."

Expression twisting into one of sympathy, Bucky reached over and gave Becca's shoulder a comforting squeeze. Figuring that he wanted the same for his own kids. He wasn't ashamed that he and Bucky met at a party and got pregnant that same night. But he wouldn't necessarily want any of his kids to go through that. After all, not everyone was like Bucky. Not everyone stayed.

"She's just a kid," Becca sniffled. Steve handed her a tissue, "Thanks."

Steve couldn't help but agree with her. Sure, Camila was legally an adult, but she was just a kid. A kid who had gone trick-or-treating with them until she was sixteen. A kid who wore unicorn pajamas and dinosaur slippers that roared with every step. A kid who couldn't sleep without a night light. A kid who nearly had a mental breakdown when she babysat for them and the boys bickered. Even though she was legally an adult, Steve knew that she wasn't ready for this type of commitment. Not yet.

But then again, neither was he.

"You'll get through this," Steve assured, giving her hand a squeeze, "We'll get through this. None of you are in this alone. Especially not Camila and Arthur. And we've got to make sure that they know that."

TAG LIST: @t3a-bag

[junkdrawernoggin]

DC fic idea

Just throwing this here so I can come back to it later.

I'm really interested in writing a fic where Harleen Q becomes Scarecrow. I mean, there's a lot of things the two have in common. They both are incredibly intelligent. Both unethical psychologists. The fear toxin and the laughing gas are very similar. Not quite sure exactly how I'd do it, but for sure something I might play with.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Stellantis wants to make scabbing woke

I'm coming to Minneapolis! Oct 15: Presenting The Internet Con at Moon Palace Books. Oct 16: Keynoting the 26th ACM Conference On Computer-Supported Cooperative Work and Social Computing.

I know, I know, it's weird when the worst people you know are right, even when they're right for the wrong reasons: like, the "Intelligence Community" is genuinely terrible, pharma companies are murderous crooks, and Big Tech really does have a dangerous grip on public debate. The swivel-eyed loons have a point, is what I'm saying:

https://locusmag.com/2023/05/commentary-cory-doctorow-the-swivel-eyed-loons-have-a-point/

When conspiratorialists and reactionaries holler about how the FBI are dirty-tricking creeps who are framing Trump, it's tempting to say, "well, if Trumpists hate the FBI, then I will love the FBI. Who cares about COINTELPRO and what they did to Martin Luther King?"

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FBI%E2%80%93King_suicide_letter

It's a process called "schizmogenesis": forming new group identity beliefs based on saying the opposite of what your enemies say, and as tempting as that is, it's extraordinarily foolish and dangerous:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/12/18/schizmogenesis/

It means that canny reactionaries like Steve Bannon can trick you into taking any position merely by taking the opposite one. Bannon's followers are even more easily led, so it's easy for him to convince them that we have always been at war with Oceania. The right has created an entire mirror world of "I know you are but what am I?" politics.

Anti-vax co-opts "bodily autonomy." Climate denial becomes environmentalism ("wind turbines kill birds"). Transphobia becomes feminism ("keep women-only spaces for real women"). Support for strongmen becomes anti-imperialism ("don't feed the war machine in Ukraine"). These are the doppelgangers Naomi Klein warns us against:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/05/not-that-naomi/#if-the-naomi-be-klein-youre-doing-just-fine

The far right has even managed to co-opt anti-corporate rhetoric. Culture warriors rail against "woke capitalism," insisting that when big businesses take socially progressive positions, it's just empty "virtue signalling." And you know what? They've got a point. Partially.

As with all mirror-world politics, the anti-woke-capitalism shuck is designed to convince low-information right-wing pismires into buying "anti-woke pillows" and demanding the right to pay junk fees to "own the libs":

https://pluralistic.net/2023/08/04/owning-the-libs/#swiper-no-swiping

But woke capitalism is bullshit. Corporations – profit-maximizing immortal transhuman colony organisms that view workers and customers as inconvenient gut-flora – do not care about social justice. They don't care about anything, except for minimizing compensation for workers while maximizing the risk those workers bear; and locking in and gouging customers for products that are as low-quality as can be profitably sold.

Take DEI, a favored target of the right. It's undoubtably true that diversity, inclusion and equity initiatives have made some inroads on correcting bias in hiring decisions, with the result that companies get better employees who would have been excluded without this explicit corrective.

However, corporations don't value DEI because they abhor their history of hiring bias. Instead, DEI is how corporate management demonstrates to workers that their grievances are best addressed by trusting corporate leadership to correct their error of their ways – and not by forming a union.

Before the passage of the National Labor Relations Act in 1935, corporations would create fake "Company Unions" whose leadership were beholden to the company executives. These were decoy unions: they looked and sounded like unions, but when they negotiated with management, they were actually working for the bosses, not the workers.

This is more mirror-world tactics. They're the labor equivalent of the "crisis pregnancy centers" that masquerade as abortion clinics in order to fool pregnant people and trap them with endless delays until it's too late to terminate their pregnancies. Company unions get workers to trust in negotiators who are secretly working for the bosses, who emerge from the bargaining table with one-sided, abusive contracts and insist that this is the best deal workers can hope for.

Company unions were outlawed 90 years ago, and for decades, labor had a seat at the table, with wages tracking productivity gains and workers getting protection for discrimination, unsafe labor conditions, and wage-theft. Then came the neoliberal turn, and 40 years of wage stagnation, increased inequality, and corporate rule.

Anything that can't go on forever will eventually stop. Finally, finally, we have reached a turning point in labor, with public approval for unions at levels not seen since the Carter administration and thousands of strikes and protests breaking out across the country:

https://striketracker.ilr.cornell.edu/

It's not just the Writers Guild and SAG-AFTRA, either. For the first time in history, the UAW is striking against all the major automakers, and they are winning:

https://arstechnica.com/cars/2023/10/striking-uaw-workers-win-key-battery-plant-concession-from-general-motors/

The automakers are getting desperate. Stellantis – Chrysler's latest alias, reflecting the company's absorbtion into corporate-human-centipede of global carmakers – has mobilized its DEI programs, trying to get marginalized people to believe that scabbing is a liberatory activity:

https://theintercept.com/2023/10/10/uaw-auto-strike-stellantis/

Stellantis calls each of its DEI silos a "Business Resource Group" (BRG): there's a "Working Parents Network," an "African Ancestry Network," "Asians Connected Together," a "DiverseAbilities Network," a "Gay & Lesbian Alliance" and more:

https://blog.stellantisnorthamerica.com/2021/07/20/business-resource-groups-drive-inclusion-and-diversity/

The corporate managers who lead these BRGs have established a scab rotation for each subgroup, calling on members to cross a UAW picket-line at a Michigan Parts Distribution Center run by Stellantis subsidiary Mopar:

Each BRG will pick a specific day of the week/weekend to volunteer as a team. Help continue to be the RESOURCE the BUSINESS can count on! Stellantis needs your help in running the Parts Distribution Centers (PDC) to ensure a steady supply of parts to our customers while negotiations continue. Working Parents Network has identified Friday, October 13 as WPN’s BRG Day at the PDCs!"

Now, these BRGs weren't invented by marginalized workers facing discrimination in the workplace. They come from literal union-busting playbooks produced by giant "union avoidance" firms that charge bosses millions for advice on skirting – or breaking – the law to keep workplace democracy at bay. All the biggest anti-union consultancies love BRGs, from Littler Mendelson to Jackson Lewis. IRI Strategies touts BRGs as a way to "union-proof" a business by absorbing workers' grievances in a decoy committee that will let them feel listened to.

BRGs, in other words, are the Crisis Pregnancy Centers of workplace discrimination. They're a Big Store Con, a company union dressed up as corporate social responsibility.

Now, let's not pretend that unions have a sterling record on race and gender issues. Giant labor organizations like the AFL had to be dragged into racial integration, and trade unions have sometimes been on the wrong side of anti-immigration panics:

https://www.archives.gov/publications/prologue/1997/summer/american-labor-movement.html

But unions have also been the most reliable way for people of color and women to win better workplace treatment. The struggle for racial and gender justice was fought through labor organizing. Remember that MLK's "I've Been To the Mountaintop" speech was given in support of striking sanitation workers in Memphis:

https://www.afscme.org/about/history/mlk/mountaintop

Black organizers have always been militant labor organizers. Labor Day commemorates the victory of the long, hard-fought Pullman strike, where Black workers brought one of the most powerful companies in America to its knees:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pullman_Strike

And women have always fought for gender justice through the labor movement: the New York shirtwaist strike is the Ur-example, when women-led unions fought thugs and scabs on icy New York streets:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_York_shirtwaist_strike_of_1909

It's no surprise that labor activism, anti-racism and feminism go together. Since the earliest days, the labor justice struggle was also a social justice struggle. To learn more check out Kim Kelly's Fight Like Hell: The Untold History of American Labor:

https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Fight-Like-Hell/Kim-Kelly/9781982171063

The most exploited, underpaid, and abused workers in America are also the most marginalized (duh).

From nurses:

https://www.reuters.com/business/healthcare-pharmaceuticals/kaiser-healthcare-union-says-week-long-strike-possible-early-next-month-2023-10-09/

To teachers:

https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2023-04-18/l-a-teachers-win-21-wage-increase-in-new-lausd-contract

To Amazon warehouse workers:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amazon_Labor_Union

To publishing assistants:

https://apnews.com/article/harpercollins-union-strike-ends-0a94238718879066d9b21af6266be526

To baristas:

https://www.cnn.com/2023/09/29/business/starbucks-union-wages/index.html

To fast-food workers:

https://www.ufcw.org/about/

The vanguard of today's labor surge is Black, brown, female and queer. Without a union, workers who face discrimination are on their own, hoping that their bosses will voluntarily do something about it. Black workers in Tesla's rabidly anti-union shops face vicious racism, from slurs to threats to violence. Without a union, they have to rely on the shifting whims of an Apartheid emerald mine space-Karen for relief, or hope for help from the NLRB or a class-action lawyer:

https://apnews.com/article/tesla-racism-black-lawsuit-class-action-21c88bddf60eca702560be58429495de

The far right isn't wrong when they holler that woke capitalism is bullshit. As with so many of their mirror-world causes, they've got a point, but only a limited one. The problem with woke capitalism is that it's no substitute for a union. The problem with relying on Business Resource Groups to fight racism, sexism, homophobia and transphobia is that these struggles are all class struggles, and a BRG is never going to fight against the company that created it.

To understand how bankrupt woke capitalism is, conside this: Stellantis is calling on its "Working Parents Network" to scab this Friday. Stellantis is also being sanctioned by the Department Of Labor for discriminating against nursing mothers – the same "working parents" that the BRG is meant to protect:

https://www.clickondetroit.com/news/local/2023/02/08/investigation-finds-stellantis-violated-rights-of-nursing-mothers-at-sterling-heights-plant/

Woke capitalism is just another kind of "predatory inclusion," like Intuit's campaign defending its "Free File" tax-prep scam, where they're claiming that ending this ripoff is racist because it denies Black families the right to be tricked into paying for something they are entitled to get for free:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/27/predatory-inclusion/#equal-opportunity-scammers

When I learned about Intuit's wokewashing, I thought I'd found woke capitalism's rock bottom, but I was wrong. Stellantis's call for woke scabbing is a new low.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/11/equal-opportunity-class-war/#inclusive-scabbing

My next novel is The Lost Cause, a hopeful novel of the climate emergency. Amazon won't sell the audiobook, so I made my own and I'm pre-selling it on Kickstarter!

[pixeldolly]

Trailer Park Challenge pt. 8

The Fullers are having their first ever yard sale! It’s basically junk, but you won’t find a better bargain!

Daisy Mae: “This is a great mattress for your clubhouse or whatever! Just 125 simoleons!”

Undecided Teen: “What are those stains?”

Daisy Mae: “Uhh don’t worry about that, just flip it over and it’s as good as new!”

Considering it wasn’t new to begin with, that’s doubtful, Daisy. Needless to say, her prospective customer was not convinced.

The yard sale was an excuse for Lindsay to drop by the Fuller place, and add fuel to the proverbial fire...

She bought a light fixture, the first purchase made at the yard sale.

Also the only purchase made at the yard sale. 

Then, while Daisy Mae tended to little Ike, Lindsay ran afoul of Cory who was trying to make a sale of his own. 

Cory: “So, I heard you’re into sports. What would you say to an original, signed Daniel Pleasant trading card? You’d say YES, am I right?”

Lindsay: “Uh, I-”

Cory:  “And because you’re a family friend, I’m willing to let it go at half the price. Better decide fast though, there’s someone else who’s interested!”

Lindsay: “Well, I guess I could-”

Cory: “Good choice! That’ll be 150 simoleons.”

Lindsay was too embarrassed to call him out on his obvious bullshit in front of Daisy Mae, so she gritted her teeth, took the card, and made a phonecall to her boss. 

Lindsay, honey, you do realise this is also hurting the woman you’ve been pining over for ages, right?

Meanwhile, Daisy Mae was having some trouble of her own.

Raver Woman: “This place is filthy! There are beer cups everywhere, and I caught that dog sleeping on the merchandise!”

Daisy Mae: “Boo's clean, I gave her a bath only last week! The cups are left over from our wedding, with the baby and everything we didn’t have the time to clean up.”

Raver Woman: “There’s a baby living in this dump?!”

Aaaand Daisy Mae lost another customer. 

Hopefully she won’t call social services on them.  😕

And speaking of babies...

Daisy Mae: “Baby, I think I’m knocked up again.”

Cory: “Are you sure? Maybe you just ate some bad pizza! It was a coupla days old...”

[elysiumxii]

All muses : whats the last time you got angry and why?

now accepting curious anonymous messages 🌚

Saucy, I will pick the boys I have the most muse for atm! Ambrose, Jaewoo, Cory and... lets say Hanbin to mix it up a bit.

Ambrose -- found a grey hair, screeched like a banshee, tore it and some others out of his head and then broke his mirror. Only to obsessed about it for hours, if not days, afterwards!

Jaewoo -- Charlie looking at literally anyone else makes him mad! Say a young woman flirting with him innocently whilst he watched from the car, waiting for Charlie to pick up their coffee order. His mark literally branded in Charlie's chest and some flirtatious, giggly thing is smiling at him sweetly?! If Charlie smiled back well... he'd pour that coffee on his crotch, make sure to scold his junk and then tie him blind folded and gagged to something whilst he thought about what he did! @unusualadventures I can't answer it as that was the last time but if that happened, it would be!

Cory -- at himself, always at himself. His daydreaming got him lost again. Now he's late for a delivery, he's already dropped the package twice and he can't remember which turning he missed. Cue a lot of irritated whines and head hitting!

Hanbin -- protocol getting in the way again. He both loves and respects the rules, but also finds them suffocating. He's young and head strong and just wants to do the right thing, but procedure can be stifling.

[mitchipedia]

“Fighting junk fees is ‘woke’: Visa and Mastercard want you to pay credit card swipe fees to own the libs.”

A dark money campaign is claiming that legislation to rein in credit card junk fees is bad because it’s “woke," and compares reining in credit card fees to Communism.

The campaign is “literally that stupid,” says Cory Doctorow, who notes that Mastercard and Visa skim 3-5% of every of “every single retail transaction in the entire fucking economy.”

Not quite true but close—according to statista.com, cash accounted for just 12% of retail transactions in the US in 2022. Nearly other transaction is either a straight-up credit card or some variation like a debit card, ewallet, or a prepaid card.

Nowadays, the only thing I pay for with cash is my monthly haircut. Until this year, I also paid cash for pizza, but the pizza place we order from finally went to app delivery. Every other retail transaction I do goes through Visa.

[papermoonloveslucy]

IS THERE A BABY IN THE HOUSE?

November 27, 1948

“Is There A Baby In The House?” (aka “There’s A Baby In The House”) is episode #18 of the radio series MY FAVORITE HUSBAND broadcast on November 27, 1948.

Synopsis ~ Liz goes over to meet the new neighbors and winds up minding a four-month old baby overnight.

Note: This episode was aired before the characters names were changed from Cugat to Cooper. It was also before Jell-O came aboard to sponsor the show and before the regular cast featured Bea Benadaret and Gale Gordon as the Atterburys.

“My Favorite Husband” was based on the novels Mr. and Mrs. Cugat, the Record of a Happy Marriage (1940) and Outside Eden (1945) by Isabel Scott Rorick, which had previously been adapted into the film Are Husbands Necessary? (1942). “My Favorite Husband” was first broadcast as a one-time special on July 5, 1948. Lucille Ball and Lee Bowman played the characters of Liz and George Cugat, and a positive response to this broadcast convinced CBS to launch “My Favorite Husband” as a series. Bowman was not available Richard Denning was cast as George. On January 7, 1949, confusion with bandleader Xavier Cugat prompted a name change to Cooper. On this same episode Jell-O became its sponsor. A total of 124 episodes of the program aired from July 23, 1948 through March 31, 1951. After about ten episodes had been written, writers Fox and Davenport departed and three new writers took over – Bob Carroll, Jr., Madelyn Pugh, and head writer/producer Jess Oppenheimer. In March 1949 Gale Gordon took over the existing role of George’s boss, Rudolph Atterbury, and Bea Benaderet was added as his wife, Iris. CBS brought “My Favorite Husband” to television in 1953, starring Joan Caulfield and Barry Nelson as Liz and George Cooper. The television version ran two-and-a-half seasons, from September 1953 through December 1955, running concurrently with “I Love Lucy.” It was produced live at CBS Television City for most of its run, until switching to film for a truncated third season filmed (ironically) at Desilu and recasting Liz Cooper with Vanessa Brown.

MAIN CAST

Lucille Ball (Liz Cugat) was born on August 6, 1911 in Jamestown, New York. She began her screen career in 1933 and was known in Hollywood as ‘Queen of the B’s’ due to her many appearances in ‘B’ movies. “My Favorite Husband” eventually led to the creation of “I Love Lucy,” a television situation comedy in which she co-starred with her real-life husband, Latin bandleader Desi Arnaz. The program was phenomenally successful, allowing the couple to purchase what was once RKO Studios, re-naming it Desilu. When the show ended in 1960 (in an hour-long format known as “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour”) so did Lucy and Desi’s marriage. In 1962, hoping to keep Desilu financially solvent, Lucy returned to the sitcom format with “The Lucy Show,” which lasted six seasons. She followed that with a similar sitcom “Here’s Lucy” co-starring with her real-life children, Lucie and Desi Jr., as well as Gale Gordon, who had joined the cast of “The Lucy Show” during season two. Before her death in 1989, Lucy made one more attempt at a sitcom with “Life With Lucy,” also with Gordon.

Richard Denning (George Cugat) was born Louis Albert Heindrich Denninger Jr., in Poughkeepsie, New York. When he was 18 months old, his family moved to Los Angeles. Plans called for him to take over his father’s garment manufacturing business, but he developed an interest in acting. Denning enlisted in the US Navy during World War II. He is best known for his  roles in various science fiction and horror films of the 1950s. Although he teamed with Lucille Ball on radio in “My Favorite Husband,” the two never acted together on screen. While “I Love Lucy” was on the air, he was seen on another CBS TV series, “Mr. & Mrs. North.” From 1968 to 1980 he played the Governor on “Hawaii 5-0″, his final role. He died in 1998 at age 84.

Ruth Perrott (Katie, the Maid) was also later seen on “I Love Lucy.” She first played Mrs. Pomerantz, a member of the surprise investigating committee for the Society Matrons League in “Pioneer Women” (ILL S1;E25), as one of the member of the Wednesday Afternoon Fine Arts League in “Lucy and Ethel Buy the Same Dress” (ILL S3;E3), and also played a nurse when “Lucy Goes to the Hospital” (ILL S2;E16). She died in 1996 at the age of 96.

Bob LeMond (Announcer) also served as the announcer for the pilot episode of “I Love Lucy”. When the long-lost pilot was finally discovered in 1990, a few moments of the opening narration were damaged and lost, so LeMond – fifty years later – recreated the narration for the CBS special and subsequent DVD release.

GUEST CAST

John Hiestand (Cory Cartwright) served as the announcer for the radio show “Let George Do It” from 1946 to 1950. In 1955 he did an episode of “Our Miss Brooks” opposite Gale Gordon.

Frank Nelson (Mr. Brennan) was born on May 6, 1911 (three months before Lucille Ball) in Colorado Springs, Colorado. He started working as a radio announcer at the age of 15. He later appeared on such popular radio shows as “The Great Gildersleeve,” “Burns and Allen,” and “Fibber McGee & Molly”.  Aside from Lucille Ball, Nelson is perhaps most associated with Jack Benny and was a fifteen-year regular on his radio and television programs. His trademark was playing clerks and other working stiffs, suddenly turning to Benny with a drawn out “Yeeeeeeeeees?” Nelson appeared in 11 episodes of “I Love Lucy”, including three as quiz master Freddy Fillmore, and two as Ralph Ramsey, plus appearance on “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour” - making him the only actor to play two different recurring roles on “I Love Lucy.” Nelson returned to the role of the frazzled Train Conductor for an episode of “The Lucy Show” in 1963. This marks his final appearance on a Lucille Ball sitcom. 

Mary Lansing (New Neighbor, Little Stevie’s Mother) was best known for playing Martha Clark and ten other characters in Mayberry on “The Andy Griffith Show” and “Mayberry R.F.D.”, both filmed at Desilu. Lucy lovers might remember her as the voice of weepy Cynthia in “Over The Teacups”, the Broadway play that the Ricardos and Mertzes attend in “Ethel’s Birthday” (ILL S4;E9).  She met Frank Nelson performing on radio. They married in 1933 and had two children. Lansing appeared with him frequently on the “Jack Benny Program” during the 1950s.

Hans Conried (Mr. Atterbury, George’s Boss) first co-starred with Lucille Ball in The Big Street (1942). He then appeared on “I Love Lucy” as used furniture man Dan Jenkins in “Redecorating” (ILL S2;E8) and later that same season as Percy Livermore in “Lucy Hires an English Tutor” (ILL S2;E13) – both in 1952. The following year he began an association with Disney by voicing Captain Hook in Peter Pan. On “The Lucy Show” he played Professor Gitterman in “Lucy’s Barbershop Quartet” (TLS S1;E19) and in “Lucy Plays Cleopatra” (TLS S2;E1). He was probably best known as Uncle Tonoose on “Make Room for Daddy” starring Danny Thomas, which was filmed on the Desilu lot. He joined Thomas on a season 6 episode of “Here’s Lucy” in 1973. He died in 1982 at age 64.  

In a few months, the role of Mr. Atterbury will be assumed by Gale Gordon.

Jean Vander Pyl (Stevie the Baby) is best known as the voice of Wilma Flintstone for the Hanna-Barbera cartoon “The Flintstones.” Coincidentally, Wilma’s best friend was voiced by Bea Benadaret, who will later play Iris Atterbury, Liz’s best friend on “My Favorite Husband.” On radio she was heard on such programs as “The Halls of Ivy” (1950–52) and on “Father Knows Best” before it moved to TV.  She died in 1999 at age 79.

Doing baby voices was something that Vander Pyl would also do on “The Flintstones” where she did the voice of her own daughter, Pebbles. 

EPISODE

ANNOUNCER: “As we look in on the Cugats this morning something new has been added. There’s a moving van in front of the house next door, but of course the new neighbors don’t interest Liz Cugat in the least!”

Liz is peering through the front window at the goings on next door using George’s binoculars.  George gets interested only when she sees fishing and hunting equipment being unloaded.  

In “New Neighbors” (ILL S1;E21) in 1952, Lucy and Ethel watch new tenants the O’Briens move in using Ricky’s binoculars. Like Liz, Lucy mistakes a bug on the lens for the new neighbor!  Unlike George, it is blonde, shapely Mrs. O’Brien who gets Ricky and Fred interested, not sporting equipment.

Cory Cartwright (John Hiestand) drops by for a rare early morning visit. He’s come by to tell George that he is to be the trustee of his mother’s club, who helps an orphan home with 130 children.  George makes Liz promise not to go next door and bother the new neighbors while he is at work. 

Liz and Katie spend two hours washing windows while spying on the movers. Liz says they moved in a lot of junk.

KATIE: “With women who know junk best, it’s Mrs. Cugat two to one!”

Katie is sarcastically paraphrasing a popular ad slogan of the 1930s and ‘40s for Lucky Strike Cigarettes: “With men who know tobacco best, it’s Luckies 2 to 1″. 

Liz wildly figures that if she doesn’t go over and visit the new neighbor she may lonely, take to brooding, become moody and despondent and turn on the gas. Liz rushes off to save her life!  

Liz visits the new neighbor (Mary Lansing), who compliments Liz on having two such industrious maids - the ones who spent the two hours cleaning the same window!  Before Liz leaves, the woman asks her to babysit with her four month old son, Stevie (Jean Vander Pyl), while she runs an errand. 

George comes home early while Liz is still watching the baby, so she tells Katie to take him into the den. George hears the baby crying and goes into the den to see for himself and demands to know who it belongs to.

LIZ: “You wouldn’t believe it’s mine, would you?” GEORGE: “No!”  LIZ: “Princess Elizabeth’s?” 

When Britain’s Queen Elizabeth II was still Princess Elizabeth, she gave birth to Prince Charles, who was born on November 14, 1948, two weeks before this broadcast. Princess Elizabeth became Queen upon the death of her father, George VI in February 1952.  Lucy Ricardo performed for her in “Lucy Meets The Queen” (ILL S5;E15) in January 1956. Naturally, the monarch remained off camera. 

Liz admits that the child belongs to their new neighbor. Just then the telephone rings and Liz leaves George with the baby to answer it.  George tries to distract the child with his pocketwatch, which Stevie promptly breaks. Liz returns to report that Stevie’s mother is delayed and they have to watch the child overnight!

~END OF ACT ONE~

A patriotic public service announcement details how the US Air Force helped a Spanish town remove a precariously tottering statue from a high building.

ANNOUNCER: “And now, let’s go back to Liz and George Cugat and see how they are getting along with the baby.” 

In the kitchen, Liz and George are trying to figure out how to feed the baby, not remembering the exact formula. They decide to feed him cereal, instead. 

LIZ: “Now which kind do you think he’ll like best? Corn Flakes or Post Toasties?  Here’s a good one: Grape-Nuts!” 

Post Toasties was a breakfast cereal made by Post Foods as the Post version of Kellogg’s popular Corn Flakes. They were discontinued as of August 2016, although Kellogg’s Corn Flakes are still going strong. Post also made Grape- Nuts, initially marketed as a natural cereal that could enhance health and vitality. It is still sold today.  

George thinks they should just feed him baby oil, but Liz correct him that baby oil is not for drinking, but for frying the cereal!  They resort to canned baby food, but think it is spoiled because it is all mushy.  They settle on milk, but can’t find the nipples, so Liz decides to cut the fingers off a rubber glove instead. 

The baby cries all night long. Liz picks him up every time he cries, but as soon as she puts him down, he cries again. 

GEORGE: “I know how to make him sleep: ‘Rock-a-bye Baby’. Wait here and I’ll go get a great big rock.” LIZ: “George!!!” 

Liz realizes that the baby can’t sleep because she didn’t burp him. After a few pats on the back, Stevie burps.

LIZ: “Isn’t that cute?” GEORGE: “Cute? When he does it it’s cute. When I do it it’s vulgar!” 

At the bank the next day, Mr. Atterbury (Hans Conried) calls a sleep-deprived George into his office. He tells George that Mr. Brennan, the man from the Orphans Home, is reluctant to make George trustee because he has no children.  Mr. Atterbury comes up with a plan. George must rush home to meet Mr. Brennan and pretend that the neighbor’s baby is his own! 

Mr. Brennan (Frank Nelson) arrives at the Cugat’s door just as George comes tearing up the walk to warn Liz of the scheme. George gets Liz into the kitchen to fill her in on the plan, but Liz has already given the baby back to his mother. George tells her to get that baby back! 

Liz dashes out the back door, tearing her dress on a branch, and stepping in a puddle.  Stevie’s mother asks her husband was was going into her house and Liz realizes that Mr. Brennan is the new neighbor and that Stevie is his son. Liz grabs the baby and rushes back home in shambles, hoping that Mr. Brennan will not notice.  

But Mr. Brennan sees a resemblance between the two babies and heads home and get his son to compare the two. Liz rush through the back door to return the baby before he can get there. On the way back Liz tears her dress on a nail, falls in a puddle and gets back just in time to find Mr. Brennan at the door without his son! 

MR. BRENNAN: “When I got home and took a good look at him I could see: they don’t look alike at all!” 

Later, Liz goes to see Mr. Brennan to tell him how wonderful her favorite husband is and Brennan gives George the job as trustee. He asks one favor, however - that they babysit Little Stevie.

GEORGE: “Not tonight!” LIZ: “No, not tonight. For the whole weekend. Goodnight, George!” 

~ END OF EPISODE ~