#cornbread the turkey

[stereopticons]

This is how it happened, right?

[nocoastposts]

@rwrbmovie & @rwrbsource’s rwrbweek: Day 3 | Favorite Side Character -Cornbread The Turkey

"Jesus Christ, it's like they can see into your soul. Cornbread knows my sins, Henry. Cornbread knows what I have done, and he is here to make me atone." - Alex Claremont-Diaz

[triz-costa]

"THEY KNOW. THEY KNOW I HAVE ROBBED THEM OF FIVE-STAR ACCOMMODATIONS TO SIT IN A CAGE IN MY ROOM, AND THE MINUTE I TURN MY BACK THEY ARE GOING TO FEAST ON MY FLESH."

[i-know-the-endss]

i just wanna know who they casted as cornbread, guys

[defenestrationsloth]

Cornbread!!! truly the hero of the whole story

[jaegerisim]

Depressed cuz there isn't enough Cornbread appreciation in the fandom.

[spectres-fulcrum]

Okay but also way other vibe but I love how they did the texting exchange tbh. Having Henry there representing himself then fading out. Like he's there-it's more than his voice-Alex is falling for him-but he's not there.

And then you have them together on the bed, Henry all cozy in fancy PJ and Alex in boxers and a t-shirt, more bare and open. Facing each other, laughing about turkeys. All cozy. They do the whole you hang up spiel, no you. And Alex looks over, the other side of the bed is empty, not a bit out of place. Henry was only there in his imagination-or in the film.

And then you get this gobble that is so funny-but you know it will haunt Alex for the rest of his life because he thinks Cornbread knows his sins. And the flirtation over texts ends with a gobble.

So perfect

[amren-courtofdreams]

my roommate and I have this whiteboard on our door and she asked for a name for the turkey and my first thought was rw&rw so here’s cornbread the baseball mitt turkey 😭

[fivequartersoftheorange]

I hope we get the Cornbread scene in the movie.

[honey-bri-books]

Someone else on Tumblr brought this up about the GQ interview and I can't stop thinking about it.

Taylor's TikTok video, I thought they were just out of costume, but looking at Nick's hair, are those pajamas and they filmed the turkey scene with Alex and Henry's bedrooms on other sides of a set wall or something, at the same time!? Omigod, I don't know anything, never mind lol. 🤣

[something-tofightfor]

Smutsgiving 2023: Cornbread / Special Agent Ortega

Pairing: Special Agent Ortega x Female Reader

Word Count: 1,455

Warning: M.

Author's Note: SURPRISE. The first time I'm writing for SAO, and I don't think it'll be the last. Don't look at me.

I wanted to do something entirely new, and this was the perfect opportunity. Please enjoy this take on cowboy times.

Smmary: A knock at your door after sundown puts you on high alert.

The knock at the door startled you, drawing your attention from the dishes in the basin toward the entryway, which was bathed in shadow. It’s so late. Who could that be? “Give me one second, please!” 

Setting the towel down, you wiped your hands on the front of your pants, frowning. 

You weren’t stupid - you knew what a late-night knock on the door meant, and how dangerous it could be to open it without knowing who was on the other side.  But I’ve got a gun, and I know how to use it, and … “Open up, ma’am.” The voice was muffled, and accompanied by another series of knocks, but it was distinctly male, and that gave you pause. 

Opening the small drawer on the table next to the front door, you closed your fingers around the grip and lifted, bringing the gun to your side. Feeling more confident, you reached for the chain on the door with your other hand, ensuring that it was in place before grabbing the knob and twisting. “Who’s there?” 

You peeked through the opening, which was only an inch or two wide, and were met with a pair of deep brown eyes, partially in shadow beneath the brim of a dusty bowler hat. “Special Officer Ortega, ma’am.” He shifted, using one hand to pull his lapel back and show you his badge. “Just passing through on my way from Santa Fe. I saw the light on in your window and -”

I’m sure you did. “I don’t make it a habit of opening my door to strange men after sundown.” Taking a long breath, you tightened your grip on the doorknob. “What do you need?”

“I was just hoping for a place to rest for an hour or so.” He cleared his throat, removing his hat with the hand that had shown you the badge. “Maybe refill my canteen before I head on.” You considered his words, glancing down at the gun in your hand and then back at him. 

“Let me see that badge again, Special Officer.” There was a pause, the man angling his body so that his chest was closer to the door opening and you could better see the ornate piece of metal. I can protect myself. Chewing on your lower lip, you narrowed your eyes. He taught me how. “Alright, Officer.” You shut the door and removed the chain, opening it back up wide enough so that you could see his entire frame - and he could see the gun you held in your hand. “Come in. I’ll refill your canteen and you can rest by the fire for -”

“Thank you.” He smiled, but it was a clipped expression, Ortega nodding once as he stepped over the threshold and into the main room of your house. “You won’t need that gun, ma’am. I can promise you that I mean you no harm.” 

“You might not,” you replied, gesturing to the table at the center of the room. “But my husband would be madder than Hell if he found out I answered the door for a stranger without armin’ myself.” His smile was more genuine at that, and when he set his hat down and lowered himself into one of the chairs, stretching his legs out in front of him, you kept your eyes on him. 

“Can’t say I’d blame him.” He wet his lips, nodding seriously. “World’s a dangerous place these days, and… it’s especially dangerous for a woman so far from town all by her lonesome.” His eyes were glittering, the man’s voice dropping slightly as he spoke to reach an almost disarmingly seductive tone.

“Who says I’m alone?” You slipped the gun into your belt, and then arched a brow, reaching for the covered pitcher of water and a glass. You filled it up before you set it on the table in front of him. “My husband’s just -”

“I’m guessing you’re alone because if you weren’t, he would have answered the door when someone came knocking after dark.” True. Ortega sipped the water, tipping his head back and savoring the taste. “Thank you, by the way. Haven’t had water this cold in days.” 

“There’s a well out back.” You gestured with your chin, trying to decide the best way to keep your hands busy. “Hasn’t run dry in a couple years.” He hummed and took another drink, looking around the room. “You’re real interested in the inside of my house. Is there a reason?” 

“My line of work keeps me sleeping under the stars quite a bit.” He leaned back using the fingers on one hand to smooth out his mustache. “And when I’m not doin’ that, I’m in hotels. It’s all… temporary.” 

“Bet that means you haven’t had a home-cooked meal in a while then, either.” Crossing your arms over your body, you leaned back against a chest of drawers, assessing his form. “And you’ve been eating campfire cooked -”

“You offering me supper, miss?” Ortega straightened up and locked eyes with you, surprise in his. “Somethin’ warm? Something -”

“I could.” You titled your head to one side, your thumb spinning the thin gold band you wore on your left hand. “Could heat up some cornbread in a skillet for you. Maybe even offer you some bacon.” Blinking, you stepped closer reaching for the butt of your gun and removing it from your belt, leaning over to set it back in the drawer. “I also have coffee, but that would take a little longer to make.” 

He let out a slow breath, eyes following your movement. When you were standing right in front of him he tilted his head back, staring up at you. “All of that sounds incredible.” Does it? Really? “But now that you mention it, I think there’s something else I’d prefer.” 

“Me too.” The facade broke when you reached out, twisting your wrist and running one knuckle over his cheekbone, Ortega’s left hand slowly moving to rest against your hip. “It’s good to see you, Eli.” The man’s lips curled upward into a legitimate smile at your words and then they parted, the tip of his tongue visible. “Welcome home.” 

Ortega shot to his feet and engulfed you in a hug, his strong hands pressed to the center of your back and your shoulders, holding you close. “I missed you, mi flor del desierto. It’s been too long.” 

“Show me.” You understood the man’s game - and had been willing to play along briefly, but having your husband back in the house after nearly a month away was overwhelming. “Show me how much you missed me.” 

He backed off enough so that you could look into his eyes, the warmth there reflecting the lantern light. “That’s what you want?” You nodded, fingers combing through the ends of his hair, which curled over the nape of his neck. “Alright then.” He smiled, the expression lifting both cheeks. “Lead the way.” 

“Wait.” You spoke quietly, taking a deep breath. “Kiss me first?” There was a brief pause, but he moved swiftly, ducking his head to press a kiss to the space in front of your ear. 

“I can do that.” You barely heard him before his mouth was on yours, the kiss greedy in that there was nothing reserved about it - Ortega’s lips pressed tightly against yours as his hold on you tightened. He bit at your lower one, using your surprised gasp as an opportunity to drag the tip of his tongue over the top of it. And when you moaned at the feeling, he deepened the kiss - each swipe of his tongue against yours purposeful. 

You never wanted him to stop, and would have been content to spend the rest of your days in his arms and with his mouth on you, but when he broke the kiss and jerked his chin toward the sleeping area, you nodded breathlessly. “Yes.” 

Spinning away from him, you gripped his hand and tugged him behind you, pausing when you reached the bed to look down at the overstuffed mattress. “I dreamed about our bed.” He sighed, kissing the side of your neck. “And about you in it.” Humming at his words, you leaned back, Ortega pulling his hand free to slide both of his over your abdomen, untucking your shirt. “I couldn’t get gome soon enough.” 

“Should have been sooner.” Your eyes half closed, you sighed the words out, his fingers deftly undoing the buttons one after another. “Eli, it -” 

“I’m here now.” He tilted his head forward and kissed the top of your shoulder, one wide palm sliding up the center of your belly and then between your breasts before veering off to one side, thumb swirling slowly over your nipple. “Right here.” 

— 

Mi flor del desierto - my desert flower 

[nocoastposts]

At 3:51 AM, this is what happens when I decide to write fanfics for the first time in four years.

I regret every life choice that has led me to this moment.

Send help.

[triz-costa]

Henry:“Connect with the turkey, earn the turkey’s trust… befriend the turkey…” Alex:“Okay…” Henry:“Buy a summer home in Majorca with the turkey…”

[radioisntdead]

Accidentally stumbled onto the dark side of Tumblr again, DEAR GRACE SOME FOLKS NEED INTENSE THERAPY, or need to stop doing drugs, maybe both, my eyes, my poor, poor eyes, I need a holy water and bleach combo

Also I should watch gravity falls again

[city-of-all-tunas]

just finished the rwrb movie and! it may not be completely faithful to the book (*cough* june), nor carry as much drama and social issues, but i still thoroughly enjoyed it ❤️❤️ been quietly fangirling (it's 12 am) since 00:00 of it and just- yes. the casting was fantastic. my big ol' sapphic crush on zahra came back, strong as ever, and now i'm looking at nora in a new light too lmao. and alex and henry! chef's kiss, loved the duo of course.

my main gripes are (a) june being left out, (b) the skimming-over of the turkey scene, my favourite part lol, and (c) miguel ramos replacing luna in a wildly different way — but otherwise i could look past everything else and enjoy the movie for what it was

it's out on prime so go watch it!!

[soupwitchsgarden]

In the same week, buttermilk and bone-in turkey breast went on sale super cheap.

Well, went on sale for normal prices from 5 years ago.

Anyway, it's May and I'm going to cook a turkey. Just put it in buttermilk brine for the night.