#could've drawn it better but it took me so long to figure out how i wanted to place the poses and such

[goofysocks3]

stargazing call on day 6 drawn by me 🤭

[frostymj]

I wanted to do more for Prodigy Celebration, but I'm having some creativity block right now.

But there was a short story I posted to the Discord some time ago, but haven't posted anywhere else. I thought today might be a good day.

Minor mentions of hunger, imprisonment, death, not graphic. Just a conversation shortly before Lost & Found. I tried to imagine the scene of Dal first telling Gwyn about the Window of Dreams. Good ending.

Prisoner Dal R'El grunted with determination as he climbed the metal walls of his detention cell on Tars Lamora. Close enough to the ceiling, he pushed himself to reach out, and was successful this time at grabbing hold of the ventilation grate.

He wasn't known for being the strongest kid by far, but he was agile enough to pull himself up to peer through the wire mesh to the fan mechanism inside, to see if the ventilation shaft was big enough for him to possibly squeeze through.

"The vent pipe is only 10 centimeters in diameter. You're not that skinny."

Realizing he'd been caught, Dal shot his attention to the voice outside the cell.

Gwyndala, the prison warden's daughter, stood casually with her arms crossed, amused by his antics.

Dal let go of the grating and landed heavy on his feet. "Gwyn! What brings you all the way down here..." He stepped toward the opening, careful not to get shocked by the force field, so he could see if anyone else was with her. "...with no watchers?

Gwyn sighed. "Just thought I'd see how you're doing so far. Figured maybe this could help." She pulled a honey lychee from her concealing robes and placed it through the passthrough. She knew it was his favorite, and watched as Dal's eyes widened, but he tried to act casual as he took it and bit.

"How long has it been now?", he mumbled through chewing.

"Three days."

"Hm. Could've sworn it's been four." He sat cross legged on the floor. "But, you know, brain gets fuzzy without food or water after a while."

"Five days detention. You know the rules for trying to escape. Just like last time, and the time before that." It was a grueling punishment. Some didn't survive it. But Dal was particularly resilient. She couldn't help but add "still better than where you would've wound up if you hadn't been caught."

"I would've figured something out," he gave his usual protest.

"You hid in the chimerium loading car, about to be dumped into smelting. It would've roasted you. How would you figure that out?" She was hoping a challenge would prompt him into telling her his next move.

But he just chuckled. "C'mon Gwyn, where's your sense of adventure? Oh that's right, it got locked away in these dungeons along with the rest of us."

Of course she bristled at his attitude, but she couldn't deny part of her was drawn to the truth of his words. Something she was starting to realize she wasn't getting from her father.

"All you have to do is keep your head down, and you'll survive." She tried not to sound too concerned for his safety, but she was.

He paused before his next bite and shot a piercing look up at her. "You know your father's going to work us all to death in these mines anyway. What difference does it make?"

Gwyn closed her eyes. Again, he was right. Her heart ached for all of them.

"But I know that's not going to be me."

She scoffed. "How do you know that?"

Dal pondered down at the half eaten lychee for a few quiet moments.

His voice was more gentle when he spoke. "Have I ever told you about the Window of Dreams?"

When they first met, she wouldn't have expected such softness from him. But over their conversations she had caught glimpses of a tenderness underneath his bravado and biting sarcasm. "What is it?" she asked.

"It's a pulsar cluster. The most beautiful nebula." He gazed up at the walls of his cell, but he wasn't looking at them. His wistful smile told her he was back on the ship, gazing into the stars.

She was stung by the longing to be out there too.

"Waves of vibrant red and wisps of blue, with a heavenly white light at the center. And they emit an electromagnetic resonance that makes the hull of the ship sing like a choir of angels."

Gwyn leaned her shoulder against the door frame outside the cell, and lowered herself to the floor with him to listen.

"They say if you gaze into it long enough, you can see your future."

"And what did you see?"

He shifted closer to lean against the door frame himself. They were now separated only by the force field between them. He closed his eyes to remember the moment, still smiling gently. "Adventure,.. freedom,.. safety,.. family,.. love..." his voice tapered off.

Gwyn considered him quietly with a smile of her own. She wouldn't have guessed he dreamed of such sentimental things with such reverence.

"...that's how I know I'm getting out of here," he finished with renewed confidence, finishing the lychee.

She wanted that for him. She couldn't help but admire the courage of holding onto that hope.

With nothing edible left, he put the core of the fruit back through the passthrough "What about you?"

She was caught off guard and again looked up to see his bold eyes imploring gently into hers. She had never felt so connected to anyone than in that moment.

"What are your dreams?"

Gwyn blinked back to reality when she realized no one had ever asked her that before. "...I don't know," she felt a little embarrassed as she answered sadly. She half expected him to laugh at her lack of life experience. But she only saw a sympathetic smile. He wanted more for her too.

The moment was interrupted when the familiar clacking of metallic feet, and the chittering of approaching watchers on patrol startled her. Drednock must have noticed the surveillance cameras offline.

By the time the robots had rounded into the corridor of detention cells, they spotted the Diviner's Progeny standing over the prisoner.

"I suggest you think carefully about your insubordination," Gwyn coldly chastised him. "We won't be so generous next time." She abruptly turned to leave, but not without sneaking a sorrowful glance at him. He countered with a knowing smirk as she walked away. She was forced into this role, as trapped as he was.

---

It was some months later Gwyn stood at the windows lining the ready room of the USS Protostar.

Acting Captain R'el walked up from behind to join her. They both gazed out to the stunning sight of the Window of Dreams, singing it's glorious song against the ship's hull all around them.

"What do you see?" he asked.

She gently started crying with happiness as she took his hand in hers and leaned into him. Nothing separating them anymore.

Adventure,.. freedom,.. safety,.. family,.. love...

[safyresky]

"The snow is already GAY Jacqueline, WE'RE the ones MAKING IT!"

I feel like, in a way, this is a spiritual successor to this one lol. If Jacqueline doesn't confuse Jack at least once (1 time) per day, is she even doing her do diligence as both annoying little sister and middle child?

Bonus: this is by far the cutest Winter I have ever drawn

Happy pride! :)

[based on this classic]

[winter and jacqueline frost are my oc's. you can read about em here! they appear in the tag a lot but hey man, you gotta plug yourself when you can 🤷🏻‍♀️]

[that could've been phrased better]

omg okokok I was gonna put this all in the tags but my tags are ALREADY long as fuck but guys. you guys. do you know how I got these ding dang photos of the thing? I TOOK MY SKETCH BOOK INTO WORK AND USED THE BIG SCANNER. THE SCANNER THAT INTERNET ARCHIVE USES FOR BOOKS. THAT KINDA SCANNER. WE CALL IT THE LIZARD (it has lizard in it's name, I think) AND IT TOOK QUALITY TIFFS! That I had to flip to png's to post. BUT STILL! I GOT THE GOOD LIGHTING, EVEN IF SOME QUALITY IS LOST!

I mean, it's got layers and layers and layers of marker and metallic marker and pencil crayon and the like, so the smudgeness is not surprising, lol. Playing around with colours for the cold front was fun! I'll figure out my limited colour palette with Jack's usual fit at some point ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I wasn't sure if I wanted to add Winter or not but I asked the jury (since the og meme has jesse on a ladder) and the jury said YES and she's my favourite part of this whole ding dang thing. I drew her first. AND coloured her first. She has existed in all her =D glory a better part of the week! Best thing I've ever drawn hands down, I will NEVER top that lmao

anyway. scrimbly forthcoming at the end of the week hopefully, barring my busy ass weekend getting in the way! And I HAVE gotten the June prompts in ye olde inbox--y'all have given me some PUZZLERS. Has my brain doing the BIG THINK

[nolanhollogay]

❛ i just wanted to make sure you’re okay. ❜ + tate!

tate has trawmuh 😔

+

Sometimes Tate had bad days. He knew not every day could be sunshine and rainbows and the stupid condescending therapist his mom forced him to see said bad days would happen and that they were natural. That didn't mean they didn't suck.

He'd known that day was going to be a bad day because someone had drawn graffiti of Ghostface on the door of his dorm and left a note with poorly cut out newspaper clippings taped under it. "You're next," was all it said, which wasn't even creative and didn't make any sense.

He knew it was bullshit, just some asshole trying to get under his skin or feel powerful or whatever. That didn't mean it didn't make his skin itch and his hands tremor.

Tate was paranoid on a good day, so on a bad day he was a neurotic disaster.

He skipped both of his morning classes, which was a bit disappointing because he really enjoyed his film studies class. But it was better to be safe than sorry.

Then he got lunch from the school's coffee shop and definitely freaked everyone out by looking at them for far too long.

Now here he was curled into a ball underneath one of the studying desks, having what would probably be classified as a panic attack. Or an anxiety attack maybe? He didn't really know the difference, but he knew whichever one it was, it fucking sucked. He couldn't get enough air into his lungs and warning bells were going off in his brain, afraid of something he couldn't see. He wasn't even sure what it was that set him off. He'd heard a sudden noise, which was probably just someone dropping a book, but he couldn't figure out where the sound came from and the next thing he knew, he couldn't breathe.

"Tate, please come out from there," A voice said, pulling him from his thoughts. It took a second to register it but then it clicked.

"Ethan?"

Ethan's head swooped down until he was in Tate's line of sight. "Yup!"

He looked the exact same as usual, in all of his white guy glory, but something about him made those alarm bells ring even louder.

Hands shaking, Tate reached for the knife in his pocket. With a click, the blade flew out and he pointed it in Ethan's direction.

Ethan flinched away from him. "Woah! Hey, what's that for?"

"How did you know I was over here? You weren't even here when I came in," Tate spat, somehow not losing his grip even though his hands shook hard the knife rattled.

"I was in the corner, at the desk with the wobbly leg that everyone hates. You didn't see me because you were basically a zombie when you came in," he explained, holding his hands up in surrender. "I just wanted to make sure you're okay."

Tate scoffed. "Likely story."

Ethan squeaked like a mouse crushed by a pot. "I'm being honest! Look, you don't have to believe me, just know that I'm here if you want to talk. And please put the knife away before you get arrested."

Tate's hands didn't waver, but at least he wasn't hyperventilating anymore.

Until his phone buzzed in his pocket.

He pulled it out, shooting Ethan one last dirty look.

Chad was calling.

"Hello?" he said, gripping his phone so hard the buttons dug into his palm.

"Tate, where are you, baby? Ethan texted me and said you were freaking out," Chad said, in lieu of greeting.

Tate shot Ethan another look. That was probably the worst thing he could've done. He didn't need Chad to see him like this.

"I'm fine," he lied. "You don't need to come rescue me. You're supposed to be in class."

Chad scoffed. "T, fuck class. Where are you?"

"Library," he breathed. The knot in his chest was starting to loosen, and the panic clouding his brain was starting to disappear. But that meant his chest was beginning to ache, lungs sore, or so they seemed, and embarrassment crashed over him.

Chad hummed, and the sound made Tate's heart buzz, a sliver of peace washing over him. "I'll be there in five, okay?"

"Okay." Tate paused, biting his lip. "Will you stay on the line with me?"

"Was already planning on it," Chad replied, easily.

Tate felt eyes on him and remembered he had an audience. Glancing up, he met Ethan's gaze. There was a strange look on his face, something dark in his eyes. But as soon as Tate noticed it, it was gone, replaced with an easy smile.

"You ready to put your knife away now?" he asked, looking down at the blade, watching it shine under the florescents.

Wordlessly, Tate closed it and put it back in his pocket. "Sorry, for, like, threatening you. And freaking out. That wasn't cool. Thank you for checking on me, and texting Chad."

Ethan waved him off. "Don't worry about it. Like I said, I just wanted to make sure you're okay."

[aetheternity]

Hard Pass P3 (Levi X Reader)

Synopsis: Levi is forced out of his comfy dorm room and in a strange twist of events right into your arms at a college party.

Levi was relieved for the silence as he clicked away at his keyboard. Mike had gone to his only late class of the entire week. Which meant Levi could actually study in his room.

The scent of tea and the small aroma diffuser on his desk as well as the open window in front of him welcomed a nice calming smell that was normally masked by Mike's gym bags and sweaty clothes. Which reminded Levi of the laundry he would have to do soon.

He pressed his tea cup to his lips feeling a twinge of irritation as he was interrupted by two knocks on the door. He looked down at the time. 6:15. A little too early for Mike to be back complaining that he'd forgotten his keys.

Then it was probably one of his girls complaining that she'd left her shit in the room. If Levi had a dollar for the amount of times that had happened he could pay for a new roommate.

The next couple knocks were a bit louder. "Levi? It's Y/N.."

Y/N?!

His face practically exploded. He stood far too fast because just as quickly he was flopping over his stupid desk chair and hitting the floor with a hard thud. He gasped audibly tugging at his knee and gritting his teeth.

"Levi? Are you ok?" Came her voice again.

He pulled himself up with a huff and staggered over to the door. Unsurprisingly he had to limp. With a quick turn of the lock he yanked open the door right into his forehead. God fucking dammit.

He groaned in a mix of fury and disgust partially because he'd idiotically stood so close when opening the door and partially because he hated the stupid inanimate object.

"Oh my god! Are you ok?" Y/N gasped, squeezing herself inside and shutting the door behind her. "Let me see? Did you hit your eye?" She asked

Her fingers were so delicate as she brushed aside his hands. So close.. Her thumb traced the already appearing red spot on his forehead. Soo close.. She brushed his hair to the side cupping his cheeks to gently reposition his head towards the light. Close....

She breathed out a little chuckle. "It's probably gonna bruise."

Levi barely registered her words. Occupied with her beautiful eyes illuminating moonlight and the dim lights in his room. His lips parted ever so slightly. When her hands fell away he gulped and jerked his head back. Trying to find literally anything to take the edge off.

"I'll.. go find you an ice pack, ok?" Y/N began already heading for the door.

"K-knee.." Levi tried and mentally cursed himself.

"Huh?" She asked, turning back.

"M-my.. t-two please.."

Her smile was gentle, "Two ice packs. Got it." And with a little wave she was out the door. Her lingering touch still causing heat to pool in Levi's chest.

~~~~

"Aww sweetie, are you sure you're ok?"

He was not. Definitely not. One of her hands was on his uninjured knee and the other was brushing his hair away from the ice pack. He didn't even know if he'd breathed in the last 20 minutes. His brain echoing the word sweetie.

The two of you had been sat on his bed as he uncomfortably laid his head back on the wall. Trying and failing to not fixate on your touch. Every brush of your fingertips was downright intoxicating.

"You look kinda red. Do you wanna try seeing a doctor or something?"

"N-no.." It was barely audible but he knew she heard when she nodded.

If there was a hole nearby he would crawl into it and never come out. Though he also didn't wanna move as the fear of making this situation worse for himself stayed ever present.

"Let me see?" He partially removed the ice pack from his forehead, spine tingling over the way she sucked in a breath. "You should be more careful."

Levi didn't answer. Just squeezed his legs closer together and sighed. In all the time he'd been in this room he'd never hit himself in the face with the door. Just what kind of power did this girl have over him.

"I know because my little cousin has done stuff like this but you should put some cream on the bump so that it doesn't get redder and it'll go down faster."

Little cousin? That wasn't a fair comparison. Little kids do stupid things cause they're kids. Did she think about him that way? Uggghhhh.

He was yanked from his thoughts by her hand coming down to squeeze his. "Are you positive you're ok? Do you need anything else?"

"I-I'm fine.."

Just as Levi said that his attention was brought to the door. Mike had barely stepped into the room and he was already grinning like a fucking idiot.

"Well, hello." He greeted, stepping closer. "Levi, you didn't tell me you were inviting anyone over. Especially not a pretty girl."

Y/N's chuckle was nervous, "Hello, you must be Levi's roommate." She stuck her hand out which Mike immediately took placing one hand on top of their joined hands.

"And you must be Y/N." He said "I've heard so much about you."

His teasing was met with a glare that could slice concrete. If Levi had known Mike was gonna come straight back to the room he definitely would've gotten rid of Y/N sooner.

"Oh? Really?" Y/N turned to look at Levi behind her. "You told him about me?" It was a split second thing but Levi could've sworn her features softened.

"Oh, no I meant Hange." Mike replied

"Oh."

Oh? Was she disappointed? It sounded disappointed? Did she want Levi to talk about her?

"But at no point did Hange tell me you were this pretty. Neither did Levi honestly, I'm kinda disappointed."

Alright that's enough of that. Levi stood. Placing the ice packs on his bed.

"You should probably leave." He gritted his teeth at how harshly it came out.

Now Mike was letting go of Y/N's hand. "Oh wait! I came to get my phone. Hange said you had it."

Levi blinked. He'd almost forgotten about that. It had been sitting on his desk since yesterday. His knee was screeching in absolute horror as he staggered his way over to his desk.

"What the hell happened to you?" Mike asked, clearly trying to hold back a snicker.

"Aw, it was an accident. I scared him."

Levi returned with the phone shooting daggers into Mike who pretended not to notice.

"Thank you." She breathed a sigh of relief.

"Y-yeah.."

"Did you put your number into it?"

Levi's face perked up a little. "Yes."

"Ok, then I'll text you later." She assured, brushing her finger tips over his forehead once again. "Goodnight boys." And with those last words she took off.

"Faking an injury?! I didn't think you had it in you!" Mike celebrated as soon as she was gone.

"Dickhead." Levi scoffed.

"Hey, is that any way to talk to the best friend who just confirmed your biggest fear moot?" Mike plopped down on his bed with a playful huff.

Levi flopped down into his desk chair, staring up at the ceiling. "One you're definitely not my best friend especially after that shit. And two I'm not you I don't fake shit to get girls."

"That would totally be hurtful if it wasn't true." Mike shrugged "I meant the fact that she doesn't have a boyfriend."

Levi practically flipped himself out of his chair. "How do you assume that."

"Simple. Hange told me about her ex boyfriend. By the way it was probably that guy that took her from the library that day. And Hange says that a lot of guys find Y/N attractive. Because of this her ex got too overprotective and they broke up. But he had no reason to be because Y/N would always tell people she had a boyfriend or at least around Hange she did."

Levi stared at his barely drunk tea. The liquid probably cold after being left on the table so long. So she had dated that guy.. He had been so tall and pretty muscular looking, was that her type? She didn't seem like she was going to get back together with him.. but he was still around.

"All I'm saying is she seems loyal. You better snatch her up before someone else does or she gets back together with her ex."

His attention was drawn away by his phone softly buzzing on his table. He pressed the on button, swiping his pin and clicking the notification as it popped up.

Hey Levi, it's Y/N.

Listen ik you said you're ok but I bought you some cream just in case. I'll bring it to you tm ;)

His heart fluttered and ached remembering her touch and her kind words. If he didn't full blown know Mike was staring at him he would probably hug his phone.

~~~~

Too much time had passed and suddenly the whole school was on break. Levi had been dreading this. Not because he was a workaholic like Mike claimed but because he knew Hange was gonna drag him away and make him vacation.

And no form of vacation could possibly be more relaxing for him than curling up in bed with some books, doing some casual cleaning, and drinking tea with light music playing at all times. Mike was definitely going home during this time so it'd be the perfect way to spend his break.

But Hange's family owned a couple lodges and that meant another year of begging for Levi to come ski and freeze his fingers and toes off.

"Come on, Levi!"

"Absolutely not."

"Erwin!" Hange called to him where he sat on Levi's bed, scrolling through his phone.

"You knew he was going to say no." Erwin replied

"Which is why I brought you to help me make my case." Hange complained

"You clearly made an error in judgment then." Erwin retorted

Mike laughed from where he was laying on his own bed. "Might as well give it up Hange, Levi is just too stubborn about this. We all know he wants to be close to all my junk while I'm gone cause he'll miss me."

"I wouldn't hesitate to tell your stalker where you're going over break." Levi spat

"She'll figure it out anyway. She's a high class stalker. And I'm not her first." The room fell in uncomfortable silence but Mike just leaned back giving his full attention to his phone screen.

"That disturbing remark aside.." Erwin began shaking his head. "I'm going."

"And that's supposed to change my mind? How'd Hange force you into it?"

"It may stun you but I chose to go through with this all on my own. There are studies that claim it's good for the mind to get away from normality during breaks or away from your comfort zone to properly clear your mind. It'll also help you make less mistakes when classes resume."

Hange smiled, "Yes, that's exactly what I was thinking."

Levi rolled his eyes. "If I go you can't beg me next year." Hange's loud shrill screeching made Levi's heart drop out of his ass.

"Finally!!" Hange screamed in excitement as she wrapped her arms around Levi's neck.

"Get off already! You're such a pest!"

And that was how Levi ended up on a train for almost three long hours with Hange blabbering on about nothing and Erwin sat in the seat across from the two of them listening to podcasts while staring out the window of his own very sad music video.

And all of the crap Erwin had spewed about getting away being more relaxing proved to be completely from the ass as Levi shivered along wrapped in two scarves, a pair of gloves, his long green coat that fell around his ankles and a winter hat plopped over his ears.

"Walk faster Levi! Is that the best your little legs can do?!" Hange called, somehow racing her way up the slope with three bags. One that wasn't even hers

Levi grunted in irritation. Not only were they walking up a hill but it was covered in snow so deep that every step felt like he was falling.

"Do you need help?" Erwin asked, not waiting for Levi to respond as he hoisted the overnight bag off his shoulders.

Levi just huffed. "I swear Hange was made in a lab."

"As possible as that is, Hange was basically raised in the snow so this is the equivalent of dust for her." Erwin replied as the two of them trudged along.

"Her parents own multiple ski lodges why the hell did we go to the one up a fucking hill."

"The other closest one was more than 6 hours away. Did you really wanna be stuck on a train with Hange for more than 6 hours?"

Levi just groaned as they finally walked through the surprisingly big doors of the huge ski lodge. Hange raced over to the front desk as Erwin slipped onto the lobby couch, followed by Levi who was still kicking snow off his boots and his second bag.

"What's in that bag?" Erwin questioned, nodding to the luggage Levi had yanked over his lap.

He exhaled loudly giving the bag a couple soft pats. "Clothes, extra boots, extra gloves, two bottles of cleaner and a small box of tea as well as some light reading material."

"When are you gonna have time to read? We're going to be skiing most of the time we're here."

"If you think I'm getting on a ski lift you have less working brain cells than Hange."

Erwin smirked with a roll of his eyes, "Alrighty then, what's in this bag."

"All of the shit that didn't fit in this bag, toothpaste, toothbrush, cologne, extra pairs of underwear-"

"Woah, Levi you can't just talk about your underwear in a public space." Erwin chuckled at his own joke.

Levi rolled his eyes, "It's bad for your health to hang around Mike as often as you do."

"How is it you're not dead yet then?" Erwin retorted

Hange had been chatting up the receptionist for almost 15 minutes, bouncing up and down in front of the desk and indulging him in the stories of their travel up here. The man just gave her a sheepish grin and honestly Levi felt a little bad for the man but a little less when he thought about how it wasn't his problem anymore.

Moblit.. his name tag read. Somehow Hange's mannerism seemed more crazed with him if that was even possible.

"Yeah.. it has been so long." He heard the man say. You got.. taller..

"We're never getting out of this lobby are we?" Erwin sighed as the two continued to chatter on. Levi and Erwin stared as Hange continued on about her car with a surprising amount of engagement from the other party. "You know they kind of remind me of you and-"

"Hey, Hange!" Erwin cut himself off as a brown haired girl that Levi instantly recognized hopped down each step, a bald boy following her. And Levi believed he remembered them from Y/N's stories as Connie and Sasha who he remembered from the party.

"Hange, what're you doing here?" He asked as the brown haired girl gave her a hug.

"My family owns the lodge so I brought Erwin and Levi for the break!" Hange said, pulling Connie into side hug that he immediately reciprocated.

"Oh god! Why didn't you tell me your plans for break? Jean would've driven all of us up here and you wouldn't have had to waste gas."

Hange just shook her head. "It's quite alright I was already out of gas so we just took the train up here."

"You didn't put gas in your car again?" Connie asked

"Wait, if you guys came then does that mean Y/N is here?" Hange asked completely dodging Connie's question.

At her name Levi bounced out of his seat. Almost launching himself into the spot next to Erwin. Pulling his hat over his eyes and sliding his back as far into the chair as he could.

"What's up with you?" Erwin questioned

"I embarrassed myself last time I was with Y/N.."

"What? Didn't she buy you cream like a month ago?"

"Y-yeah." Levi shimmied his feet together as he slid further down in his seat.

Erwin's chuckle next to him made him grimace. "I know you don't really get it Levi. But uh, making an ass out of yourself in front of your crush is the first real hurdle to knowing you've got it bad."

"Shut up.."

"It could've been worse.. You could've accidentally injured her. Or got caught by the loud mouth in your class while writing her first name and your last name in a notebook."

"Sounds like a personal story.." Levi replied, inching the hat off his eyes to look up at Erwin.

Erwin scoffed, "Point is it happens." He said with a roll of his eyes.

Levi let out a little snicker that instantly got caught in his throat. It had never occurred to him that he'd actually paid attention to the romance movies he'd seen a hundred times with his mother. But now that Y/N was walking down the stairs it was like a scene from all of those movies combined.

Her smile just as warm as always. Turtleneck sweater hugging her features along with dark blue jeans and brown boots. Each step felt slower than the last as if everything in this particular room had been put on the slowest speed imaginable.

The butterflies in his stomach swarmed like they were all chasing after one specific thing. Everytime she appeared somehow it was different.

"We're still going skiing today right?" Connie questioned as Y/N stopped on the last stair.

"If Jean's up to it sure." She replied, her cheeks flushed like she'd just walked in from outside.

"Well this is gonna be a fun weekend." Erwin said but Levi didn't even register his words. His heart stammering in his chest. "Go make a fool out of yourself." Erwin nudged

"Hey Jean! Come on!" Connie said

"Yeah, Jean I'm hungry!" Called Sasha

Levi's heart stopped, his chest crumbling in on itself. The same guy from before.. just as soon a loud crash sounded and everyone turned all at once.

"Oh god are you ok?!" Y/N was the first person by Hange's side followed by Moblit from behind the counter.

Hange let out a laugh, wincing as she pulled herself up with Moblit and Y'N's help.

"I'll be ok. Just took a little spill." She continued to laugh.

Erwin was soon standing by her side. "Are you sure, you're alright? Your face is super red.."

A momentary lapse in Hange's facial features made Erwin step back a little. "Shut up Erwin." She huffed

"You fell on your side. You should rest a little bit." Moblit said, coming closer. "Just.. in case."

"Ok.." Hange replied

Y/N seemed to relax at this information. Her gaze immediately falling on Levi surprisingly. He really hoped he didn't outwardly wince.

"Hi, Levi." She spoke plainly giving Erwin a small greeting as well before her, Connie, Sasha, and Jean were leaving the lobby.

Hange and Erwin unsurprisingly crowded into Levi's room about five minutes after the whole ordeal. But Levi couldn't even bring himself to wipe one thing down like he'd wanted to. He just laid still on the bed, eyes planted to the ceiling.

Surprisingly Hange had also stayed silent. Her eyes shut where she laid next to Levi.

"I can't believe you broke the handle on my luggage Hange." Erwin called still sat on the floor holding his luggage in one hand and the handle in the other. Pressing the broken part of the handle to his bag as if it'd be that simple to fix.

"Now what am I supposed to do?"

"It broke my fall Erwin. Be grateful."

"For what exactly?"

"I don't know!"

Levi blinked, his gaze falling on Hange for the first time since she took that spill in the lobby. Her hands were crossed over her stomach, thumbs rubbing the spot where she fell.

"Are you alright or not?" Levi questioned

"I'm fine."

"Ok, I know why Levi's upset but why're you?" Erwin chimed up

"What's Levi upset about?"

"What else? Y/N."

"Uggggghhh Levvviiiii why don't you just ask her out already?" Hange said

Levi sat up on the bed pulling his feet into his chest. Shoes long gone, pushed up against the wall as soon as they'd walked into the room.

"I'm not talking about this shit anymore this week."

"Levi, if we're staying here all of this week and next then chances are she's also staying here all week and next. Which means somewhere in here is a perfect opportunity to-"

"Get in her bed." Hange interrupted

"Or something less crass." Erwin suggested "You did pack condoms in your emergency undies bag right?"

"Did you pack a spare handle in yours?"

Hange's obnoxious laughter was almost loud enough to muffle the low knocks on the door. Her irritating jabs to Levi's shoulder quickly halting when Levi grabbed her fingers.

"Who is it?" Erwin asked, one hand on the door.

"It's Y/N.."

Now Hange stopped laughing. Erwin shrugged as he looked back at both of them before pulling the door open.

"Hey, here." Y/N sounded filled with fatigue as she handed over a small bottle to Erwin.

"Oh! Thank you! Where'd you get this?" Erwin smiled with delight immediately flopping back down next to his bag.

"Jean carries around extra strength glue because Connie always manages to break something fragile." Y/N replied "I doubt it'll work but maybe it'll help a little?"

Erwin nodded happily as Y/N turned to look at Hange. Her hands balled up and her fingers fidgeting where she was pulling at them.

"How's your rib Hange?"

"It's ok now, thanks for asking."

Y/N nodded and at this moment everyone in the room was looking at Levi who automatically felt extremely naked.

"Levi um.. can I talk to you? In the hall?"

Levi didn't know if he had nodded in his head or in real life but he was swiftly moving across the room. Passing Y/N where she stood and then holding the door open as she walked out just behind him. The door shut behind the two of them and if Levi felt naked before the feeling out here was somehow worse.

"What happened?"

Levi could hear the slightly muffled footsteps on the other side of the door and even a whispered Hange as Y/N spoke. His hands felt both too dry and wet all at once as he looked into her mildly menacing gaze.

"Wh- where wh-when.."

"You barely said anything to me after I brought the cream for your forehead. What happened? Did I do something wrong?"

Oh god how can she possibly assume that? Levi felt his stomach clench. He had never had it easy with text, which was why he pretty much always called everyone.

"I-I didn't mean.. it um.." He shuffled his feet a bit now remembering that he still had no shoes on.

Y/N sighed. "I wanna be your friend Levi. Please tell me you want that too."

With a deep breath he replied, "Call me."

"When?"

"Anytime.. I'm a bad t-texter.."

When her facial features softened Levi felt his shoulders finally sag for the first time since he'd heard her name in the lobby. "Ok.. oh ok, that's all it was? I thought I did something wrong. I'm glad we talked."

And Levi was barely registering her hands wrapping around his shoulders. Her body pressing oh so comfortably close to his. Hand sliding over his back, scent overwhelming his nose. And then just as soon it was all being taken away.

"I'll call you, ok?"

"Ok.." Levi's hand was still waving long after she'd already disappeared out of plain view.

"Oh god you're her friend!" Hange laughed the door suddenly yanked open behind Levi.

"It's as cute as it is sad." Erwin clicked his teeth.

"Tch, shut up." Levi stomped back into the room.

"Levi, you're in the friendzone!" Hange huffed as Erwin shut the door. "And if you don't get out of it. You're gonna be the short shoulder to cry on when some big dude with an invalid drivers license, a shit ton of tattoos and a porn addiction breaks her heart."

"That's oddly specific.." Erwin retorts

"All of you keep assuming I wanna be her boyfriend. I don't!"

Erwin rolled his eyes, "That tall guy that she was with actually. I think he'll be the guy who has her running to Levi's shoulder."

"Oh you mean Jean?" Hange nods "But they broke up a while ago."

"Then why is she still hanging out with him?"

"He's Sasha and Connie's best friend. So they've all known each other a while. They're a set, don't separate type deal."

"Then it's only logical that Y/N will marry Jean someday. You know if they all stay so close."

"Yup, definitely."

"You can both eat shit."

~~~~

Day one

Levi strained awake, blinded by the harsh sunlight stabbing his eyes through the uncovered window. He couldn't even remember when he'd fallen asleep last night but he could already tell it was too early for everyone else to be awake.

He could recall a couple things from last night. Hange overstaying her welcome in his room, Erwin suggesting that Hange pay for his fucked up luggage and somethings he would rather not think about.

Preferably the others joining in his room to discuss breakfast plans. At which Sasha had suggested the diner they had already planned to go to early in the morning. Levi's heart sank as he recalled Y/N's gorgeous smile directed to Jean who had stood behind her rubbing her shoulders and whispering in her ear.

He squeezed his eyes shut, standing from his bed and immediately working to straighten out the sheets before eyeing the book he'd unpacked last night.

Maybe he could get some reading done before Hange inevitably came to annoy him.

The one he was currently holding was of a dog wearing a big floppy hat in the mist of sunflowers. He quickly matched it with his black and white sweatpants. And with a small sigh he headed to the bathroom.

He thumbed at the spine of the book, sliding his finger between the pages to the current bookmark. A shower would probably be a better start to the morning though. He set the book down unzipping one of his bags and pulling out the first pair of clothing folded at the top. Levi hadn't remembered packing one of his mother's many silly birthday gifts to him. She had always bought him shirts with pictures on them that confused him.

He didn't even remember the last time he'd had a shower that was hot for more than five minutes. Or the last time he could look down at his feet without seeing a hair monster in the drain.

He took a couple extra minutes to completely wash his hair, combing his fingers through the strands before shutting off the water and quickly getting dressed.

As he reentered his room he remembered the random gaze Jean threw his way. The smirk on his lips, the taunting glare and then just as quickly it was over. And he was talking to her like nothing had happened.

Levi had never once in his entire life thought about having a girlfriend. It just wasn't something that absorbed his thoughts but he knew the second he saw that smirk on Jean's face what he wanted to be to Y/N.

He just couldn't imagine how.

His fluffy towel hugged his head as he popped open the book he'd discarded a couple minutes ago. He pulled his feet in closer to his body tracing the letters on the page, delving into the story-

"Levi!"

Two fucking seconds.. that had to be a new record.

A barrage of harsh knocks sounded outside his door and he yanked it open to see Hange standing there out of breath with a barely alive looking Erwin behind her. Excitement flooding her features as she pushed past Levi with Erwin in tow. A blue toothbrush almost falling from his lips.

"You couldn't let him finish brushing his fucking teeth?" Levi grunted, shutting the door behind the two of them. Erwin sighed his eyes shut, toothbrush dangling from his mouth. "Why're you here?"

"We're all going for breakfast remember?"

"Not for another thirty minutes." Levi narrowed his eyes and leaned back against the tv table.

Hange smiled, "Yup and that means we have enough time to figure out a game plan to get you and Y/N together by the end of today." Hange clapped excitedly though both Erwin and Levi couldn't possibly look less enthused.

"I don't need your help."

"Erwin, back me up here!"

"I'm not doing shit since you didn't let me spit and I had to swallow toothpaste." Erwin remarked, squeezing the bridge of his nose.

Levi's face scrunched up and Hange let out a snort. "Why did you swallow it.. you could've just spit it out in the hall or something."

"That's fucking disgusting." Levi grunted

"Why the hell would I do that?" Erwin asked

"You're not supposed to swallow toothpaste duh!"

Everyone huffed all at once and Levi flopped down next to Erwin on the bed. "If I need any help I'll ask.." He mumbled already feeling heat fly to his cheeks.

"We're finally gonna get you a girlfriend Levi!!" Hange squeezed his body in a tight hug.

Just as Levi was about to push her away a couple of soft knocks sounded on his door again, "We're leaving a little earlier, hurry and come downstairs."

~~~~

Before the car had even pulled up back at the lodge Hange was already screaming about going skiing. Erwin had asked if Levi wanted to which he'd replied with a scoff.

"Really? Cause there are plenty of chances for Y/N to fall on you. Or you to fall on her." He shrugged.

Levi just rolled his eyes and at that Erwin gave up and now he was standing at the freezing cold railing watching everyone go down the stupid slope for what had to have been an hour or so. How'd he end up with bag watch? He didn't even wanna come outside.. He blew on his fingers trying and falling to warm them. At this point he felt exhausted, absolutely none of his clothes were keeping him warm.

With a sigh he pulled Hange and Erwin's bags up onto his shoulder along with Sasha and Connie's belongings. If he could manage to get upstairs he could warm up at least a little. A hot cup of tea practically beckoning him.

It took him only a couple seconds to realize he didn't have Y/N's bag. He looked around for a couple seconds. Did she bring a bag outside? Did he lose her bag?? He'd only left once to got to the bathroom. Did someone steal it.. Shit. He grumbled in disgust. Where could he have left it?

Feeling a bit panicked he headed towards the stairs. Blood running cold, his eyes practically bouncing out of his skull. His heart stopped at the display in front of him. Jean's hand on Y/N's waist as she leaned forward on the railing. Their lips pressed together..

(Hey Siri, play Heartbreak Anniversary by Giveon.)

[ssamie]

ten. “greatest desire”

kozume kenma x fem dazai!reader

(bsd x hq)

tw: mentions of suicide, guns & cementaries

masterlist.      suicide freak!

"uh hi.. i know we don't really know each other that much.." atsushi started off. the boy had a nervous smile on his face as he stiffly waves at kenma, with tanizaki and naomi by his side 

"but have you seen y/n-san?" atsushi asked 

"y/n? why, what happened to her?" kenma asked worriedly 

atsushi, tanizaki and naomi were stood in front of nekoma's gym, trying to look for the girl, as per the president's wishes. "its been about a day since you guys went out to the arcade, right?" tanizaki chimed in "has she shown herself to you, or atleast texted any of you?" 

kenma frowned as he shook his head no. he looked back at the team who were trying to act like they weren't eavesdropping. 

"no.. i just assumed she was busy with work" kenma muttered 

"hmm, i tried to ask ranpo-san but he's too busy" naomi chimed in as she hugged tanizaki's arm to her chest 

"oya oya, sorry to barge in on the conversation-" kuroo interjected. the captain had a sly grin on his face as he walked towards the group. "but we just so happen to overhear something about our manager going missing?" kuroo mused 

"yes, sorry if we're intruding" atsushi bowed 

"but y/n-san went missing again, and the president ordered us to find her in under four hours" tanizaki sighed 

"or else we get our asses handed to us" atsushi shuddered 

kuroo and kenma gave each other a look and nodded along. "we'll try to look for her later" kuroo said "we'll let you guys know" 

"thank you so much!" atsushi exclaimed with a smile "would you mind calling the agency if you find her?" he said as he handed them a piece of paper with the agency's number 

"its really hard tracking her down" tanizaki says with a chuckle "when she chooses to disappear, it's like she never existed in the first place" 

"anyways, we'll be on our way" atsushi excused "we've troubled you long enough" 

"its no problem.." kenma muttered 

naomi waved them goodbye as they walked away. the duo waving back meekly as they watch their retreating figures disappear. 

"hey, you okay?" kuroo nudged his friend kenma nodded and looked down at his shoes "yeah.." 

"i think i'll go look for her now" kenma muttered "eh? kenma, we could just go later" kuroo said with a raised brow 

"im going. bye" kenma muttered, completely disregarding kuroo as he went straight out the door 

"where's he going?" yaku asked as he peeked his head out the gym doors "he's gonna look for y/n" kuroo answered 

"damn. what a simp" yamamoto sneered 

"wow. that's rich coming from you." 

"i swear to god.." kenma grumbled "if she ends up getting found in a ditch and i wasted all that time running around for nothing.." he scoffed 

he's been running around the streets of tokyo, passing through every street and alleyway to try and look for the girl. so far he hasn't seen a single trace of her, not even a single person who has managed to pass by her. 

"y/n.." kenma huffed out. he was currently by a riverbank, leaning against the metal railings of the bridge while he tried to catch his breath. 

"you called?" 

kenma jumped at the sudden emission of her oh-so-familiar voice, and turned around to face her "what the- y/n?! where did you come from?!" kenma shrieked out 

"also, where have you been?! atsushi-kun and a bunch of people from your job came to the school today looking for you" he said 

y/n chuckled and strode over to his side, jumping over the rails and sitting on the flat surface of the bars. "if i told you that the port mafia took me hostage and threatened to execute me, would you believe it?" she mused 

"no." 

"then i won't bother to say" she shrugged 

kenma eyed her warily. her port mafia story could actually be believable, now that he thought about it. given as, her bandages were loosened and torn, almost as if they broke off with too much movement. and along with the dried blood resting upon her cheeks and hands. 

"are you okay?" kenma asked worriedly 

even if it was believable, it could've been just her trying to kill herself yet again. not that it was any better

"of course" she smiled "though my body is a bit sore.. chuuya really doesn't hold back"

kenma froze and slowly turned his head towards her with a blank and emotionless look on his face. 

"chuuya doesn't what." kenma spat out "did you seriously disappear to hook up with that dog? that-that man child? that eyesore? that-" 

"what are you talking about?" she laughed

kenma huffed and propped his elbow on the cold metal, resting his chin on his hand as he pouted 

"you're really funny, kenma-kun" she mused 

"really? cause im not laughing." kenma grumbled "i ran around the whole city for you, only to find out you ran off with some guy" his honey hued orbs eyed her down, watching her chuckle softly as the golden rays of the sun illuminated the surroundings around her

"y/n.." he mumbled "why did you really disappear?" 

"i already told you" she replied with a sigh "the port mafia is truly a force to reckon with" 

"that's why you gotta stay safe, kenma-kun" she mused "you never know who and when they'll strike next" 

kenma sighed and nodded along. it was old news -- the port mafia, that is -- its been stirring up the whole city for the past few months. 

"ne, kenma-kun" she called out "if we do end up dying alongside each other, i suggest we drown ourselves in this river." she said 

she stared down at the flowing water, the golden colour of the setting sun reflecting off of it. "its clear and pretty, not much people are around.. its quite tranquil." she hummed

"i never really understood this.." kenma muttered "but why are you so intent on dying?" 

"and i never understood you, and so many others." she replied "tell me, kenma.." she turned to face him, her bandaged hands loosely gripping the railings, as her legs and feet dangle off the ledge. 

"do you really think there's any value in the act of living?" 

kenma didn't answer. instead he stared at her, and her clouded eyes, each orb holding an unforgivable amount of sin and deciet that he could only imagine. 

"well.. is there any value in the act of dying?" he asked back 

she blinked dumbfoundedly at him, fairly shocked at his question. 

"isn't there anything else you desire? life is kinda cool too yaknow?" kenma said in a sheepish tone 

she stared at him a few minutes longer before averting her gaze. she chuckled and closed her eyes as the cold wind breezed past. "man fears death, and at the same time, man is drawn to death" she said 

"its a singular event in one's life that no one may reverse" she hummed "and that is my greatest desire." 

kenma didn't know how to reply to that, so he didn't. he simply looked down up at the setting sun, letting silence wash upon them both. 

"hey kenma" she called out. kenma looked at her, curious and wary. "yes?" he asked 

"wanna hang with an old friend with me?" she suggested with a soft smile

"me? won't that be intrusive though? i don't really know them.." kenma muttered nervously

"it's fine. he'd probably be happy i even talk to people my age" she said with a chuckle. she jumped off the railings and landed on the ground with a grin. she stretched her aching arms over her head and patted kenma's back. 

"he's a lot like you" she mused "always saying life is worth living and all.." 

"okay then.." kenma agreed reluctantly "but if i sense that person doesn't like me one bit, im leaving." he groaned out

"im pretty sure that won't happen" she chuckled sheepishly 

"why are we in a cementary?" kenma grumbled 

"is this where you kill us both?" he scoffed playfully "i wouldn't be surprised if you already have a hole dug for us" 

she chuckled and shook her head "no, no" she mused "were just taking a small stroll" she cooed as she looked around the awfully empty surrounding  "ah! there it is" she perked up "it's been so long since i went here that i almost forgot my way around" 

kenma followed her as she skipped away, though he was quite confused, he didn't question her. 

"hurry, kenma" she called out as she watched him struggle to walk faster "i hate you" he grumbled back, which she chose to ignore 

she smiled softly as she stood infront of the oh-so-familiar grave. 

"geez." she mumbled "its been so long since we hung out, odasaku" 

"shame we couldn't meet at the usual place" she chuckled and sat down on the grassy ground. she leaned back on the gravestone, resting her back against it as she waited for kenma to arrive 

"y/n?" on cue, kenma chimed in. he was panting slightly, most likely from running and walking around for so long "what are you doing?" kenma raised a brow at her 

"kozume kenma-kun.." she called out

"yes?" he asnwered

"do you know whose grave this is?" she mused, pointing her thumb to the gravestone she was leaning on 

kenma eyed the name engraved on the stone and shook his head. "no..but it's someone dear to you, right?" 

"what makes you think that?" she hummed out in amusement 

"i've never seen you pay visit to a grave before" kenma muttered. the pudding head hesitantly sat down infront of her, bowing at the grave before settling down on the ground. 

"does it look like im visiting a grave to you?" she asked with curiosity 

"it does.. why?"

she smiled softly and leaned her head back, letting it fall and her eyes to land straight at the cloudy sky "well, i thought of it as hanging out with a friend but.." she trailed off 

"i guess that works too" she sighed out 

kenma frowned as he watched her close her eyes. her smile faltering as a wave of comforting silence washed upon them. "im sorry" kenma muttered "i shouldn't have said anything.." 

"its fine." she chuckled "its been years since he died." she smiled bitterly "i guess it's time someone snaps me out of my daydreams" 

kenma didn't respond. he simply toyed with the grass on the ground and the few flowers littered around. 

"yaknow, kenma" she said with a smile "you're the first person i brought here" 

"me? why?" kenma asked in surprise and confusion 

"because this friend of mine was a good man." she said "he told me to try and look for my reason to live."

"and i think i found it" she whispered as he looked into his eyes 

kenma blinked in shock as he basked in her awfully heartwarming words. 

"my reason to live is to die with you." 

"of course. its gonna be about suicide again." kenma sighed dejectedly.  "but y/n, if you think of me as your reason to live.. then i'll take it upon myself to keep you alive" kenma smiled at her, tucking his blond hair behind his ears as he kept his honey hued orbs trained on hers. 

"kenma.." she teared up 

she blinked repeatedly as she opened her mouth to speak. 

"i.. I DON'T WANT THAT! I WANNA DIE WITH YOU!" she whined loudly "i already had our suicide planned! i even suggested the whole river thing a while ago!" she exclaimed 

kenma deadpanned as he watched her ramble on and on about her ideal double suicide. "i really don't care." kenma groaned out "i don't want you to die." he whined "why do you keep trying to kill yourself" 

"just because, okay?!" 

"just for that, im gonna call your agency and hand you over" kenma sighed as he dialled the agency's number 

"traitor!" she shrieked "kunikida-kun will undoubtedly beat me up" kenma ignored her as he started speaking on the phone. 

"yes, she's with me.." he muttered "is she behaved?" he repeated the question as he sent her a pointed glare 

"no, not really" he scoffed 

"kenma, you're heartless!" she shrieked in horror 

"cmon. let's atleast pay respects to your friend before we leave" kenma said with a sigh "dont worry, kenma-kun! i already thought this through" she grinned. she then pulled out a bottle of sake and a book and placed it on the ground. 

"you brought him alcohol? seriously?" kenma furrowed his brows 

"hey, it's two of his favourite things, okay?" she defended with a laugh 

"do you know how ridiculous i looked while buying these things at the store?" she chuckled "they thought i was a madman or something!" 

"i would've too" kenma answered back 

"you're so mean to me, kenma" she pouted "anyways, we should go." she said as she dusted her pants and unravelled a thin layer of her torn bandages. 

"i can't wait to tell you about this suicide method i learned about." she beamed. she tugged on his arm and pulled him away as she continued to blabber on his ear "apparently this one does the job right away!" she exclaimed 

"can you believe it, kenma?" 

"wow. crazy." he replied dryly 

"yeah, and all we gotta do is shoot ourselves with these guns-" 

"no." 

"oh my, this almost feels like a welcome home party!" she cheered. she gave the detectives a close eyed smile while they simply stared back at her with a look of agitation and worry 

"where the hell were you?!" kunikida exclaimed angrily as he tapped his foot on the ground 

"the port mafia!" she answered back nonchalantly 

they all perked up in surprise from her claim. "huh?! the port mafia?!" 

"hai hai! but don't make a big deal about it!" she chuckled as she waved her hands dismissively 

"you could've died!" kunikida exclaimed  "now, now! i'd like to think of it as akutagawa-kun needing some attention that's all" she joked 

"jesus christ" kunikida sighed as he adjusted his glasses "that boy could kill you and you still won't take him seriously" 

"anyways, why is he here?" he asked as he pointed to kenma, who simply ignored him and avoided their eyes as he played on his phone 

"oh! he's the one who found me, so i thought it'd be right for me to repay him" she smiled brightly as she squeezed kenma to her chest, all while he unbotherdly continued on with his game

"i've thought of so many fun things we could do back in my dorm, hehehe~" she chuckled mischievously as kenma's face paled. she only gripped him tighter when he tried to scurry away. 

"i- i see.." kunikida stuttered out. he looked at them with wide eyes as she started squeezing him tighter while kenma tried to pry her off 

"y/n, you're strangling me!" kenma huffed out "i know!" she grinned 

"we'll leave you two alone then!" kenji said with his usual smile as he ushered the others away 

"they're worse than tanizaki-kun and naomi-san.." atsushi shuddered "that's because she's trying to kill him" tanizaki sweat dropped 

"and herself, as well" yosano sneered "go get your man!" she cheered as she sent y/n a sneaky wink 

"yosano-san! don't encourage her!"

[qveenofthefullmoon]

Every third question unless there are ones you wish not to answer?

3. When did you start remembering?

Well........when I first saw a picture of H on the www I immediately became interested. Others were interested in RTEH, Himmla, etc. But I was drawn to another. But I pretended to be interested in von Schirach (and I am). I thought others would think strangely of me if they knew who I was REALLY interested in. Anyway, it took me a few years and a lot of vivid dreams.

6. What is your recall type like?

Some stuff I remember well. Other things, not so much.

9. Have you ever experienced any xenoglossy?

I don't think so, but when I started German in high school, it kind of was a little more easy for me I guess?

12. How many lives do you remember?

Just this one and the last one. But I do like to think I was once a cat in Ancient Egypt.

15. Does anyone really know you?

Only a few people here on the Hellsite.

18. Any lingering traumas, fears, or cell memory?

Air raid sirens. I can't watch the news on Ukraine because I'm afraid I'll hear one.

21. Anything you are still coming to terms with?

That I was 'the other woman'. He wanted to divorce his wife and marry me if the war went well, but...you know the rest. Himmla didn't divorce his wife and wouldn't let Karl Wolff divorce his until Wolff went straight to AH.

24. What are you proud of yourself for?

My mother said I was ruining my life, but I like to think I was making someone else's better.

27. Differences?

In this life, I'm American and single. Other stuff too.

30. What foods do you still like? 

I still like German food. Except sauerkraut. Yuck.

33. What about your general aesthetics?

More or less the same lol

36. Anyone you miss?

H, of course.

39. Is there anything you remember doing that surprises you?

Yes! Telling RTEH to move his birthing hips out of the way. Not exactly said like that though. Respectfully, of course.

42. Is there anything you remember that would have surprised the people who knew you?

I actually had a civil relationship with Sophie.

45. How do you think your old life would be in the current world?

I don't know but I just got a horrible image in my head of Bill Clinton hitting on me.

48. Is there anyone you would still trust to dance with you?

In this life? In a romantic way? No.

51. Anything you wish you could tell anyone?

H gets a horrible rep, but he was the gentlest, kindest person and I miss and love him still.

54. Feelings?

The feeling of victory!

57. Have you retained any skills, talents, and/or interests?

I still love to read and my sense of humor's pretty much the same!

60. Have you been to the location where you died in this life?

No. But I've been to the area where I died spiritually if that makes any sense.

63. Was anyone suspicious of you growing up?

No, it wasn't like I was a famous figure.

66. Has anyone recognized you now?

Not that I know of.

69. What are some of the things that take you back?

When I went to Germany in 2013, that sure as heck brought me back! Especially in Berlin!

72. If you could go back and bring one thing with you to this life, who, or what, would it be?

H, if he's not in this life already.

75. Is there a life you feel drawn to the most?

The one I am currently typing about lol

78. How do you feel about the most recent life you remember?

I wish there had been no war and we could've had a happy married life together, but nooooooo.

81. Share a random memory?

Being alone with RTEH for about 5 minutes not long after first meeting him. Kind of awkward.

84. Has anyone recognized your aura/frequency?

Don't think so.

87. Have you met your twin?

Nope.

90. Create them a playlist?

Maybe later

93. Draw someone?

*draws a stick figure* Masterpiece

96. Describe someone randomly?

Schellenberg was not good looking and a back stabbing SOB

99. What do you think one of your lives far out in the future will be like?

I don't even want to think about that lmao

102. Have you ever dreamt of things before or while they happened?

YESSSSSS I also get deja vu a lot.

105. Do you practice anything?

Antics

108. Freebie, create your own question here. (Be respectful.)

What's the question though? My arm hurts now. :P

[malaks-perch]

pomegranates and sugar

julian devorak x reader

a crazy night with your favorite doctor

warnings: fluff?? pretty domestic actually for something about murder talk about a sweat drop

a/n: i didn't plan for this to go this way, i played it by ear

this was not how the night was supposed to go.

"now before you do that light up magic thing, you have to promise me that you will be calm and rational" julian's words coming slow and careful as he stayed hidden in an alley next to the rowdy raven.

"i'm always calm and rational." came your response as you tried to get closer to where he'd tucked himself behind barrels.

julian stepped out of the shadows and into the dim lighting at the mouth of the alley. you dropped your bag upon seeing him.

blood was everywhere. drenching his clothes, staining his face, arms, even legs. his patch was nowhere to be found and both of his stunning grey eyes stared at you.

"who the hell did—" he cupped a clean hand over your mouth whilst his finger hovered over his mouth.

"i was doing an act at the theater and it turned into a brawl, the fake pomegranate juice got everywhere and it clumped to me when people started throwing disgusting powdered candy."

he brought his hand to his lips, licking up the vermillion substance and crushing a fiery kiss to your lips before you could think.

he was right. sugary popping candy nearly drowned out any taste of pomegranate on julian's tongue. it was sweet, but the kiss was far from it. when he pulled away, you blinked still trying to register what happened and the kiss julian nearly got you drunk off of.

"but this blood might become very real as there was a very angry patron who—"

"julian, what the hell?"

he pulled you both into the shadows, nodding and running a hand through his hair. "you're right. i'm so sorry. how are you tonight, love? you look ravish... why do you look more beautiful than usual? who is this for?"

he raised a brow as he examined you. one of his white shirts hung loosely on you and a wine colored vest portia graciously found in mazelinka's old chest. paired with pants that really showed off everything from the waist down.

"you're in costume?"

"valerius has that party-"

julian cringed. the one he promised to escort you to. you even asked him what to dress up as and here you were, a nevivion pirate. you'd even drawn the symbol most pirates wore on your neck.

guilt flushed through him and his heart sank into his chest. he had gone to the theater for a play and completely forgotten about his duties to be your date for the night.

this was not how the night was supposed to go.

"it's alright—"

"no, love. i.. you were really looking forward to seeing asra"

it shouldn't have hurt so bad when he said it, but bringing it up made you feel a bit of an ache. you hadn't seen asra in nearly a year from the constant travelling around with julian.

you brushed it off, cupping his face and wiping pomegranite from his cheek. the small smile you offered only made julian feel worse.

"there will be more opportunities."

julian cupped your cheek, but before he could respond someone shouted behind you both. "we should actually be running right now!"

both of you took off in a sprint, weaving through alleys and dodging people on streets. julian did the latter as his long limbs would bump people every now and again as he tried not to trip over himself.

they were getting closer when julian bolted left into an alley, pulling you with him when you pulled him back into an empty building.

"i think they went this way!"

both of you were panting, trying to cool yourselves down in spite of how close your bodies were pressed against the wall.

julian was muttering out apologies for potentially ruining your entire night when you finally managed to wheeze out your laughter.

"that was amazing!" you cupped his cheeks and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips making julian grin and raise his brow.

"usually when people are about to get murdered, amazing isn't the word they would use to describe it." julian smiled as he leaned over where you were leaned on the wall. his arm by your head as his face dipped closely to yours. "maybe it's all the adrenaline, my dear."

"adrenaline ashmenaline. that was better than any party i could've gone to." you smiled, leaning up so your faces were inches apart. "i want to go again."

"well, well, well... it seems we've found our old friend doctor devorak and.. who is this lovely creature?" one of them grinned from the doorway of the empty building.

"it looks like you'll have that chance, love!" julian tugged you out of a window, you stumbled, but the same man that was nearly tripping himself tugged you beneath an arm and sprinted down the alleyway.

with julian's arm holding you by the waist close to his side, you could see the frantic men running behind him with swords out and arms raised.

you twisted out of his arm to run beside him, "what on earth did you do?!"

"they didn't take kindly to poetry about their ships!"

in front of you, you spied two horses hauling a wagon with stacked barrells. you practically shoved julian towards the wagon, both of you climbing up the structure as you muttered a spell that made the barrells go tumbling towards the men.

the wagon collapsed and both of you jumped on the horses. they reared and you'd both taken off towards the markets, racing each other as the men themselves still tried to catch you.

"we should do this every night!" julian shouted as you guided your horse to take lead through vesuvia's busy streets.

"every night?! and miss a good night's sleep?" you glanced back at him, but the one glance made your heart swell.

julian's brows furrowed and a daring smile on his face. his tall figure was leaned forward on the chestnut horse he rode. a confident smile on his face as he passed you to take lead.

it was rare for him to ever look like this even in his most comfortable state. here, in the middle of danger, high on adrenaline, and running from pirates, julian looked his best.

this was not how the night was supposed to go.

"a fair point! this way!" you'd turned right and bolted out towards the higher classes of vesuvia.

you slowed down, julian laughing as he reached over and took your hand. both your steeds huffing and grumbling as they slowed.

"amazing. quite a show you put on there, y/n." he smiled, pressing a kiss to your knuckles before he leaned forward murmuring praises to the horse.

"i think we stole a couple of horses, julian." you sighed as you tangled your fingers in the mane of your steed.

"tomorrow, my love." julian sighed, casting you a warm smile. "we worry tomorrow."

you turned your eyes to the houses around you. beautiful, elegant homes were built here. the aqeuducts looked cleaner, the sidewalk looked as if you could eat off of it.

"it's beautiful here." julian smiled, mindlessly threading one of his hands through the mane of the horse he rode.

"would you like a house here, ilya?"

his given name usually would've made him fluster, but this time around he smiled. a sigh coming from his lips, "i would love for pasha to have a home here. i don't think our children would care too much for being royalty."

"our children?"

julian nodded without missing a beat. he flushed then when he realized what he was suggesting, "only if you're open to the idea."

"i'll run it by my council."

he chuckled, turning so you saw the fond smile dancing on his lips.

with both his eyes on display so outwardly, it was a little overwhelming. paired with that soft smile? your heart raced at the mere sight of him. how could you not? he'd come so far as to be this confident.

"you saved my life." his bowed deeply, nearly falling off his horse. "how may i ever repay my beautiful hero?"

there he was. your ever dramatic doctor pirate.

"promise me we will be together forever and always." you clenched a hand over your heart, gazing up to beautiful stars above.

"it is forbidden!" julian cried out in agony, thrusting a hand into his hair. "for we may never be together as long as we live in amongst the rules of this damned nation! my sister wouldn't allow it—"

"yes, she would—"

"oh, how she would strangle me for—"

"refusing my hand."

groans and insults thrown from windows. you and julian took off in a fit of laughter, rushing down the streets until you'd come upon a path sheltered by brillant oaks.

both you and julian had taken the time to get off your horses and walk down the wide road. one hand entwined with his while the two of you lead your horses.

"should we ever be in that position, i would run away with you." you confessed.

julian furrowed his brows, shaking his head. "my love, i would never want you to give up everything you know to be with me."

"and i would never want you to give up everything you know to be alone." you smiled, pulling his hand to press a kiss to his knuckles. "i would know that you wouldn't be alone and that would be better than casting you off to suffer in isolation."

julian's eyes were shut when he tilted his head up so his face was to the sky. a shaky breath escaping his mouth before he finally decided to speak. "when you say beautiful things like that, it makes me want to give you my entire world."

"i don't understand how that would work." you tugged him close by the nape of his neck to peck his cheek. julain pulled back revealing his furrowed brows and twisted lips. "you're already my world, how could you give me more than that?"

julian stopped walking, a sticky cheek pressing to your neck. the pomegranate and sugar still lingering on his cheek from earlier.

"i gave you a night that started because of a brawl that ended with me in pomegranate juice and sugar. we get chased through vesuvia, magically steal two horses, profess our love to strangers, and here you are declaring that you want no one else, but me."

"don't forget about the part where we have children." you smiled making him laugh into your shoulder before pulling away to gaze at you with tear-filled eyes.

"the council unanimously decided?"

"the council wanted to keep the dramatics in play. they already had their answer before their brief recess."

"one of them better have my name!" portia was practically squealing as she rushed over.

nadia, asra, and muriel not far behind. muriel went straight for the horses, but not before bidding you a quiet hello.

"at least you two had fun." nadia smiled as she watched portia squeeze the air from your lungs. "as it turns out, vlastomil's worms crashed the party."

"so julian finally settles down." asra's teasing grin made the redhead smile.

"i don't think you've met my darling dear." he shot you a grin, "anyone would be lucky to stand next to them."

asra wrapped his arms around you, a gentle laugh escaping him upon finally seeing you again. "to think you would be here to tell me you were going to be parents."

nadia brushed off julian's shoulder, "i'd love to be a godmother."

"as long as i get to be the godfather." asra grinned, turning to you with a teasing smirk.

"you get to be godfather as long as you don't teach them to pester and prank people with magic."

asra shook his head, "i can't promise that."

portia laughed, picking up a stick to imitate a sword. "and i will teach them the ways of a pirate."

julian went to chastise portia when muriel's voice cut through, "and i'll teach them to properly care for horses."

asra immediately latched onto muriel, teasing him while portia and nadia discussed names. you and julian walked hand in hand down the road with your friends at your side.

babies or brawls, you wouldn't have had this night go any other way

[chuuyas--boo]

The "Judge" and The Sinner.

Tw: Violence, language, murder, Self harm

(Partially based off of 3 episodes of Angels of Death; Episode 4: A sinner has no right of choice, Episode 5; Don't let me kill you just yet, and Episode 6; Zack is the only one who can kill me. Some torture methods will be skipped over/changed slightly because most human beings can't endure all of the torture Zack and Rachel (Mostly Zack cause he's an idiot) went through without dying.)

The elevator doors opened and Riley slowly walked out onto B3, immediatley noticing the machine guns mounted on the walls, as if the last floor wasn't difficult enough; Running from the sweet but obsessive and insane ginger haired grave-keeper; Eddie.

A single bullet was fired from one of the guns, just barley missing Riley's arm causing her to stumble back, just as more bullets were fired rapidly, getting closer until they stopped, only inches away.

"Great...trying to fill me with bullet holes huh?"

"Hiii~! Terribly sorry I'm late! It took you so long to get here...I nearly dozed off! Still...I'm surprised you weren't killed just now! You sure have incredible intuition dear~"

"What..."

"Y'know something? I had a feeling you'd be a great sinner~! ...I must've needed some excitement cause that woke me right up!" "That's great and all miss...but I don't really care...Could you just let me through...?"

"I supposed I can do that~"

Bright lights shined on Riley and she narrowed her eyes so it wasn't so harsh.

The iron bar door slid open and Riley walked through, and walked down the hallway to a room with locked doors.

"You said you'd let me through..." her voice was calm yet slightly irritated.

"My~ You're so impatient! At least let me finish putting on my makeup!"

Riley let out a huff of annoyance.

"There's a certain procedure each criminal must go through before their punishment is assigned~ If I were you, I'd start getting ready now. In fact I'll even open up a room for you~"

One of the doors unlocked and Riley went in.

(ignore the fact Zack and Rachel are there, it's a room with the mugshot board(?), a camera, and a table with a bin with the name boards)

"Every legitimate criminal has a mugshot, right~? Take a pretty one for me! ...Oh and it's not a proper mugshot without your name board, of course~"

Riley walked over to the table, grabbed her name board out of the bin which said "Riley Morgan" on it, in letters that looked as if they were painted with blood...which wouldn't be surprising if it WAS blood.

"How am I supposed to do this by myself..."

Riley huffed, and moved the camera closer to the wall, hung the name board around her neck and quickly took a picture, narrowing her eyes slightly at the flash.

"There..."

Taking the name board off and tossing it to the side, Riley grabbed the photo and held it up towards the security camera, and the iron bars slid out of the way.

Walking out of the door; into another hallway, but this time with poorly drawn images of what seemed to be torture methods.

"They're illustrations of punishments I designed, for sinners just like you~! I'll give you a choice,...there's more than one way to punish a sinner you see~, So I've got a variety of painful options waiting for you! Of course...if you'd rather spend the rest of your life rotting in a cell...it's always on the table~!"

"What kind of pathetic person would decide to rot forever..."

"Oh~? Too bad...and here I was hoping I'd get to keep you forever! ahahah~!"

Silently Riley walked into one of the rooms, filled with dolls...life size wooden dolls in rows of chairs...with what looked to be an electric chair in the front. "She- She's really trying to fry me to death!"

But suddenly the iron bars slid open.

"Ahaha~! I know you wouldn't survive that kind of punishment! I'd like to see a little sinner like you suffer for longer~ So I ever so kindly let you through!"

Riley hesitated before walking out of that room, into another hallway, with a door that had a warning sign on it. "Doesn't seem like the best of ideas...but it's the only chance I've got"

Opening the door open, Riley imagined sitting in the electric chair and being shocked over and over until she eventually died and shuddered, once inside the door locked behind her. "Great..., as if it wasn't bad enough to be locked in here, it really stinks!" scrunching her nose at the smell, she noticed a corpse in the middle of the room.

Sighing, Riley walked over to one of the blood stained windows, pulled her knife out of her pocket and bashed the handle against the window as hard as possible, but nothing happened, not even the slightest crack.

The TV's in the room turned on, showing Cathy.

"Hiiii~! Did you miss me dear?"

"Like the plague." Riley said flatly.

"Let me give you an explanation of the room you're in right now! And you'd better listen closely if you want to live. I got a little carried away with the design~ It's completely sealed, making it impossible for air to get in or out! The window glass has been reinforced, so you won't be able to break it! And the best part...I'm about to fill it with something veryyy special! If you stay in there long enough, you'll be on your way to a nice, peaceful death. It's poison gas~! Obviously I wouldn't confine you to a place like that with no way out...in fact, here's a gift~ I've mercifully provided a gas mask! As long as you do your best, of the utmost faith you'll escape! Oh, and of course I think it'd be a bit boring if I let you sit in there forever, so I've added a time limit! I knowwww~ I'm sooo thorough! After your time runs out you'll be given another gift! A gas so potent the mask won't do any good against it! That's all for now, have yourself a good time in there, and try not to die, okay~?"

Sighing, Riley glanced at the gas mask in the middle of the floor as the poison gas began to flow into the room, noticing the cracks in the eye lenses "Yeah...that won't be all that helpful..." and then walked over to the corpse on the floor and crouched down.

"There's writing..."

Riley gently shoved the body out of the way and read it

"The one with the ugly foot, the foolish killer who stomped out life with the right foot..."

Pausing as the writing got more difficult to read Riley huffed and then continued.

"It says something like...if you feel guilty get rid of your right foot, if the crime and punishment are equivalent, light will shine in hell."

Riley hesitated before grabbing the right foot, and walked over to the scale and placed it on one side, then grabbed the bag that was placed on the table and set it on the other side of the scale and watched as it balanced out.

The gas started to get to her, and Riley started coughing as it got harder to breath, quickly running over to the gas mask and putting it on, despite the cracks in it, it'd be better than nothing. The gas mask helped a little, but made it harder to see.

"This is stupid! Why the hell bother providing something if it's only going to make it harder you sadistic bitch?!"

Letting out a sigh of frustration Riley looked around hoping something had happened, and noticed the safe in the corner of the room had opened slightly, inside was a wire and a key card. Grabbing both, Riley walked over to where the key card would be inserted and put it in.

The gas stopped slowly and Riley smiled to herself, glad she had figured it out.

"My, my~ What a smart sinner you are~!"

"You're the one that made me come in here in the first place..."

"And you're the sinner who got yourself into this place~! You coulddd chose to rot in a cell~ It's still an option on the table dear~"

"Like I'd decide to do that! I'd rather die immedatley."

"My, my~ someone's eager to be punished for her sins~!" "Not like I can leave this floor till I'm "punished" anyway..."

Cathy laughed as Riley walked out of the room, down a hallway very slowly, the gas still taking its toll. Eventually she sat down against a wall where the cameras wouldn't see her and fell asleep.

Waking up with a jolt, Riley shook her head trying to get rid of the thoughts from the nightmare. Getting up and slowly down the hall, into a room with a smashed doll house, half expecting to be required to do something, she sighed and glanced at the TV in the room.

"I'll let you pass through this one~ I didn't know enough about you to mentally torture you so you're lucky!"

"and you said I took a long time to get here, in that time you could've figured out more about me, but why would you want to? I'm just an ugly, pathetic, useless, boring bitch."

"Oh~? I don't think you're boring! You're actually quite an interesting sinner~ You're smart and I like that about you~ You remind me of that gorgeous sinner; Eddie~!" Not knowing if that was a good thing or not, Riley slowly walked down another hallway, separated in two by a wall in the center with barbed wire on the top, stopping at the table. The door up on the ledge opened and Cathy stepped out.

"How nice to finally meet you in person~!" Riley just gave her a cold glare "You gonna let me through or not?" "My! You shouldn't be so rude to a pretty lady like me~! In order to continue, you must inject yourself with those syringes, one contains vitamins and the other contains dangerous drugs!" "Which is which?" "AHAHAHAHA~!! It doesn't matter! I won't tell, besides I forgot~! Once you inject every last drop I'll gladly open up the door for you! You might wanna hurry though...or else someone you love will die~" and with that, Cathy went back the way she came.

"Great...this could kill me, I'll probably die anyway..."

Grabbing both syringes, Riley looked at them; one of them contained green liquid and the other was yellow, but the colors didn't give any hints as to which was the vitamins and which was the drugs, it wouldn't matter since she'd have to inject both. Quickly Riley injected both into her arm, tossed the empty syringes to the side and the door opened.

"Stupid bitch...my heads pounding..." Riley stopped in the dim hallway and leaned against the wall with her hands against her head.

The so called "dangerous drugs" just brought out the voices in her head, telling her to kill someone, or something and they only got more persistent by the second.

"SHUT UP! JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Riley's voice had gone shrill, laced with insanity as it echoed through the dark empty hallway.

Continuing to walk down the hall as the voices got more and more persistent until she walked into a large room and the door slammed shut behind her, locking.

"Glad you could finally join your sister and I~! It took long enough..." There was a girl standing in the middle of the room with long dark brown hair and blueish green eyes.

"What does she have to do with this? I want nothing to do with her! She left me and Jack, and Jack died!!"

"Oh~, you don't want revenge~? All those voices in your head telling you to kill her but you just can't? Maybe you aren't as great of a sinner as I thought..." The brunette glanced at Riley "R-Riley don't...please..."

"Oh but why not!? Huh? WHY NOT LEXI!? Why shouldn't I? You left us alone, and Jack died. Why shouldn't I rip your throat out right here right fucking now?! So you can go be pathetic somewhere else? Nahhh~ I'll kill you myself, slowly and painfully and see how you like it!"

Fear shined in Lexi's eyes as Riley stepped closer

"Scared~? You should be!" Cathy laughed as she watched the two

"AHAHAH~!! I've provided you with a gun as well~ Kill her as you'd like!" Riley grabbed the gun and pointed it right at Lexi's head.

"You could've avoided this y'know? But you didn't...and now you'll pay for it!"

"RILEY PLEASE!" "You're gonna beg to live? Pathetic. If you're gonna beg, do it right, you don't look nearly as pathetic as he did." "W-wh-who d-did?" "You don't know? AHAH! Go on~ Tell her~!" Riley shot a cold glance at Cathy, enough to make her shut up, temporarily. "You're clueless...Jack? Yeahhh...I did it. I killed him." "YOU WHAT?"

Lexi attemped to grab the gun out of Riley's hand only to have it pressed to her chest.

"He begged me to, so I did." "You whore-" "Do you WANT me to pull this trigger? The trigger that'll end your pathetic existence?"

"Do as you please...it doesn't matter anymore..." Riley pulled the trigger but nothing happened.

Cathy giggled and then bursted out laughing.

Silently Riley pulled the knife out "You'll die one way or another~" and pointed it at Lexi's throat.

"Please...-"

Without saying anything, Riley took the knife and slid it across her arm, blood gushed down her arm but she seemed unbothered.

Silently Cathy got up, and walked down the stairs to where the siblings are "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!? YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE KILLING HER!" "Did I say I wasn't going to..?" The drugs would've worn off at this point, but because Riley was younger and smaller they hadn't yet, without hesitating she flicked the knife back towards Lexi

"RILEY PLEASE! Can't you hold back?" "Hold back!? IF I COULD I WOULDN'T BE HERE!" "Sinners can't control their bloodlust~ Just accept it!" Lexi stepped back only to stumble and fall

"Get up. Now." Lexi didn't get up, so Riley grabbed her arm and jerked her up making her stand up and quickly plunged the knife into her stomach over and over, blood gushed out and covered the floor around them, Cathy laughed as Riley plunged the knife deeper every time until she stopped and Lexi's body fell to the floor, limp and dead.

"My, my~ You ARE a great sinner~ Now you'll get your punishment~!"

Riley just glared at Cathy silently, her eyes seeming cold and dead.

Without warning the 4 guns in the corners of the room began firing, not knowing what to do, Riley ducked hoping they'd stop before they got to her, unfortunately they didn't and one shot her in the leg.

"You'd look great filled with bullet holes~" Collapsing on her knees, Riley glared up at Cathy "So would you" and pointed the gun at her, forgetting nothing had happened when she pulled the trigger last time.

"Go on~ Shoot me~!" "Why are you so eager to be shot?"

"Just do it! Unless....you aren't as great of a sinner as I thought~" Riley pointed it at Cathy's head and pulled the trigger but nothing happened "AHAHAHA~!! Foolish of you to think I'd actually give you a loaded gun!"

Despite the blood gushing from the bullet wound, Riley shakily got up "So...are you gonna kill me or..." "No. A sinner like you is much too interesting to be killed~!"

Riley sat on the floor, watching blood pool around her, and her sisters dead body in silence.

[curiousconch]

Sobering Truth

Chapter 10 of Ricochet (An Open Heart AU)

Catch up here: Series Masterlist

Chapter Synopsis: After the fallout of Rafael and Heather, what could this mean to Bryce and the recovering doctor? 

Pairing: Rafael Aveiro x MC (Dr. Heather Song) | Bryce Lahela x MC (Dr. Heather Song)

Words: 2.1k+ | Genre: Crime, Suspense/Thriller, Romance

Rating/Warnings: Mature (16+) / hints of past violent experience and sex

Author's Notes: Almost is Never Enough by Ariana Grande and Nathan Skyes was the perfect song for this chapter, the lyrics are very fitting. Also, watch out for a cameo from a PM character 😊

Thank you so much for taking time to read this series. Please let me know if you want me to include/remove you in the tags list. Also, disclaimer: Majority of the characters are owned by Pixelberry, except the main character Heather Song and an OC Jordan Anderson.

Bryce found himself hunched alone in a bar stool downtown Boston. He swirled the brown liquid in his glass, brows furrowed in remembering the scene in the hospital room. 

His face contorted with the pain piercing through his chest, the possibility of losing Heather once again sinking like a sword. He racked his mind for an option, but it seems all is lost in that battle.

He thought back to their last outing together, and he was so certain that something was there. So why did she choose to stay with someone else instead of being with him?

His lips formed a thin line, his hand rubbing over his face in frustration. The emotions within turbulent and unnerving. Was he just too much of a fool when he thought he had a shot with her? 

This is exactly why Bryce Lahela didn't want to commit. It was far more easier for him to seek momentary connections rather than build permanent ones. He didn't want to relive the rejections-filled past from his adolescence, at the time of his parents' criminal convictions. 

Yet here he was again, suffering the same consequences of wanting something permanent in his life. Something that could bring him happiness. Something better than him being alone in the middle of a crowd of drunken patrons. 

He should've stayed in his own lane of hook-ups and one night stands instead of chasing for this relationship. 

So the first thing he did when he realized that that door is closing, was to go back to his old stomping grounds. 

But why can't he will himself to look around? 

As if on queue, an olive-skinned woman slid herself beside him, her sudden presence invading his thoughts. With a half-smirk and green catty eyes, the coils of dark hair loosely wrapping her head. The mere sight of her was mesmerizing. 

"I know you," she said, almost in a purr. 

Bryce looked back at her, and a long-forgotten heat warmed him up. And it wasn't because of the alcohol in his system.

"I guess my reputation is my charm," he replied, leaning forward. He loosened his tie whilst sipping from his glass. 

"Oh I know all about your reputation," her voice made him shiver, her fingers ever slowly trailing a path towards his arm. "You're the one with magic hands," she whispered, her brows dancing as she spoke. 

This commanding woman was pushing his buttons in all the right places, her sparkly black cocktail dress that clung on her body tightly wasn't making him feel suddenly parched. 

Her hand continued to venture up his arm, and eventually the side of his neck. As it followed the line of his jaw, Bryce couldn't help but lean closer. 

Nothing was stopping him at the moment. 

Miles away from being sober, his lips blew a short burst of air into the woman's bare neck, after which he got the chance to breathe in a whiff of her perfume. 

The jasmine scent was all too familiar. It conjured the image of the woman who Bryce fled away from tonight. 

Heather. 

Snapping out of the trance, he took a step back. Gone was the sexual tension that floated in the air mere seconds ago. Bryce only shook his head to the woman and paid his tab, before almost sprinting out into the cold rain that continued to flood the concrete pavement. 

He let the drops of water wash all over him until he was soaked. With it, the inevitable tears began to fall, which he didn't hold back. He also didn't mind how it easily reduced the numbing effect of the bottle of Jack Daniels that he just consumed. 

Like a thief in the night, the woman of his dreams snatched what was left of Bryce's vulnerable heart. He knew, deep down, that it would take a long time before he can get it back. 

*** 

"Breaking news. Declan Nash and Jordan Anderson pleads guilty as co-conspirators of the kidnapping of Senator Ed Farrugia and Edenbrook doctor Heather Song."

"This is following an intensive investigation by the joint special task force created as the public clamored to protect Massachusetts famed senator. 

"We are joined today by one of the victims, Senator Ed Farrugia, after he gave his testimony today at the Boston courthouse."

The video flicked from a female news anchor to the steps of the city's courthouse, where the politician was joined by Chief DA Tanaka. Heather's hazel eyes however wasn't on the prominent people in the screen, but instead drawn to the tall figure standing beside the older man, his intimidating stature made more pronounced by the sharp gray suit that contoured just enough to please.

Bryce. 

Saying his name, even in her mind, made her involuntarily shudder with regret, aware that between them was an undeniable attraction that she just couldn't shake off. Ever since her kidnapping, she couldn't stop herself from thinking about what could've been. Was it just too late for them? Will it only remain a connection that can never be explored? Will it ever be something more? She knew, deep down, if she could change the world overnight, she wanted to try. If there was anything she could learn from her almost dying, it was the sobering truth that life was too short to be restrained by inaction.

But she hadn't been able to speak to him for a while now. He didn't answer his phone nor returned any of her texts or messages. She hoped to get the chance when she was scheduled for her recorded testimony. To her dismay, another ADA visited her and took her witness account. 

She thought he was just busy with the case, but she sensed that he was avoiding her altogether. Her free time provided her so many hours to rack her brain for the reason why. To this day, that question was left unanswered. 

Danny raised his gaze to Heather, as he felt her pulse beat faster than normal. He turned to the TV monitor in the hospital room, stifling a chuckle as he found the reason behind her palpitations.

"Let's try to do this again," Danny said, making Heather's attention swivel to him. 

"Why? Something wrong?" she asked, obviously confused. 

This time, Danny snickered, grabbing the remote from her and switched the channel. The gesture was enough to make her fluster as it dawned on her what the nurse was insinuating. 

"I can't put your last BPM on your chart, Heather. We dont want Dr. Ramsey to not sign off on your discharge papers today. Two weeks of him pestering us is enough torture to last a lifetime," he scoffed jokingly, referencing how the senior attending relentlessly chased the hospital staff to put her case on priority. 

She curtly nodded, her mentor's crass actions embarrassing her further. 

"Thanks, Danny." she sheepishly smiled, hoping the two words were enough to express her appreciation of how the hospital helped her get back on her feet during the roughest period of her life yet. 

Danny returned her gesture, before getting back to taking her pulse. Satisfied, he recorded it to the clipboard in his hand, as her friends thundered into the room. 

Sienna, Elijah, Jackie and Aurora all stepped inside, each carrying an assortment of food items. They moved their Sunday brunch to that day in celebration of Heather's discharge. The welcome noise warmed her heart, their usual banter flowing like music to her ears. 

The thundering of her deep-seated emotions momentarily toned down, as she enjoyed the company of the small family she found in Edenbrook. 

Outside, the weather was warm with no clouds threatening to dampen the surroundings. 

It was going to be a good day. 

*** 

As the last of the questions were addressed and the cameras were turned away, Bryce sighed in relief. 

With the news crews dispersed, Chief Tanaka left to head back to the DA's office, leaving him as second chair to wrap up all the remaining paperwork. He strutted into the courthouse, the ADA facade well in effect. 

It was an understatement to say that the past few weeks were hectic. 

Interviewing Declan Nash and Jordan Anderson was like being pulled into opposite poles. Their personalities were so polarizingly different that Bryce suspected that there was a more to the case than what appears. 

So he advised the special task force to dig into that angle. The FBI's investigation is still ongoing, and he is betting against it finishing soon. 

Today was a day of accomplishments, and Bryce's mood was better than it was ever since that night. Or so he thought. 

As his mind shifted back into the present, he caught the unwelcome sight of Agent Rafael Aveiro conversing with someone in the hallways. He managed to hear a glimpse of the conversation as they got into earshot. 

"You're background would be invaluable to us, Agent Rafael," the strange man in the tweed-colored jacket said. 

"This is such a timely offer that I couldn't refuse. I'll let you know as soon as I wrap up my last case." Bryce heard Raf say. 

"Of course. But please don't keep us in the Interpol on our toes, Agent." 

"Of course, Agent Nazario." 

Taken aback, he stopped, trying to understand what had just transpired. Why was Rafael taking a job with the interpol? 

Once Bryce saw that the special investigator was alone, he approached him, words blazing. 

"Interpol? Seriously, Raf, this soon?" 

Raf turned to face him, surprised at Bryce's sudden interjection. 

"I don't see the need to explain myself to you, ADA Lahela." He politely said as he begun to walk away. 

"But you just got back together! Why leave for an overseas job this soon when she needs you the most?" Bryce's voice rose, echoing into the nearly full hallway. He honestly didn't mind, weeks worth of bottled up frustration threatening to surface. 

A more puzzled expression filled Rafael's face, the line of interrogation making him turn around and stare back at the prosecutor. 

Rafael recognized the look on Bryce's face. It was a mirror of his own haunted reflection. Of a lost love, never to return. The confusion gave way to understanding. 

It made him soften his stance, and place a brotherly hand on the lawyer's shoulder. 

"Look, I don't know why you think that, but Heather and I..." he paused, taking a deep breath as he tried to bury the painful memory of their goodbye into the back of his mind. "We broke up. The same night that she was admitted to Edenbrook after her kidnapping, we talked and agreed to go our separate ways." 

Bryce couldn't believe what he was hearing, his knees weakening with the revelation. Amber eyes widened in shock and feeling like an idiot at the same time. 

He smiled despite himself, the nightmares of his imaginary rejection transformed into a wonderful dream. The door that he thought was closed is now unlocking, and he was determined to blow it wide open. 

With a hasty thank you and goodbye to Raf, he turned the soles of his leather shoes and raced to the door of the courthouse. 

Bryce didn't dare waste another minute to look back. 

Tags: @ramsey-lahela @eleanorbloom @openheartfanfics @choicesficwriterscreations

[stareyedmoonchild]

Marinette wiped the blood from the corner of her mouth and chuckled bittersweetly. As she looked into the toilet's continents she wondered how she let her feelings for Tim to get this far. It was never this bad when it came to Adrien.

Inside it, was a mix of blood stained daffodil and pink camellia petals. The first meaning unrequited love and the latter meaning longing for you. It was funny how the disease gave her flowers with these meanings.

"Marinette, you can't keep doing this. You know the longer you suppress your coughs, the worse they get. You need to see someone about this, or tell Time how you feel," Tikki said, worriedly from within her purse.

"You know I can't do that. Besides I'm sure these feelings will fade in no time," Marinette said, with a smile painted on her face.

"You've been saying that for three months now," Tikki countered.

If it were any other day, Tikki would have let it go but now it was serious. Her holder had been spending days and nights hacking up petals and for the past two weeks did the blood start appearing. It wasn't looking very good, because they both knew that if Marinette's feelings didn't disappear or reciprocated then it would would lead to her death. Sure, surgery was an option for its removal, but with it the feelings for that person would disappear. After being with Marinette for years now, Tikki knew she would never with the surgery. That means, her only options were to get over her feelings for the boy or tell him how she feels and hope he feels the same way.

Tikki watched as her holder coughed a few more times, and nearly panicked when a whole daffodils landed innocently into the bowl.

"Marinette plea-"

Tikki, never got to finish her sentence, when the door to the girls bathroom open.

"Marinette, I was sent to check in on you. Are you okay," Stephanie asked.

Her only response was a flush and the sound of one of the stalls unlocking. She watched at Marinette straightened her uniform, and moved toward the sinks to wash her hands. Stephanie gave her a quick once over, and took note of the stain on the collar of her white shirt.

"What happened," Stephanie demanded to know, rather than asked.

"Just a bad nosebleed is all."

Stephanie didn't by her lie, but decided not to pry and just let it be. She figured when Marinette was ready she would tell her. However, if she bothered to look into the stall Marinette came out of, she would have seen the lone blood stained, yellow petal that lay on the tiled white floor.

After that day, Marinette's condition continued to get worse. 

The first to find out about was her and Tim's best friend, Conner. Funny how he was always the first to find out things when it came to her.

"When did it start," he asked, worry dancing in his pretty blue eyes. 

It was an emotion that shouldn't have been there, and it made Marinette feel bad for being the one to give him it. She figured, the least she could do was be honest with him.

"Three months now. Going on four," she weazed, as she held a handkerchief to her mother as she coughed. When she removed it, the saw both a whole bloody camellia and Daffodil. 

He grabbed her by the shoulders and asked, "Why haven't you told anyone?!"

Shoving off his hands, she said, "It's not that big of a deal. Besides it's just a crush, and just like any other crush my feelings will disappear."

"I bet you've telling yourself that from the very beginning. It's been practically four months and nothing's changed! If anything they've gotten worse. Tell me, what are we going to do if one of us finds you dead in a heep of bloody flowers? How will your parents back in Paris react to the news that their only child died of suffocation," Conner said, by the end of his lecture he was full on balling.

Marinette did her best to hold in the petals, that were now consuming her lungs and airways, and she comforted her friend. Never once had she felt so hopeless. Not even when she decided to leave Paris after Hawkmoth's defeat, or when Lila completely turned her classmates against. No, this was a completely different scenario. Her best friend, and the strongest person she ever knew to walk the earth was crying and worried for her life. 

That day, Conner spent the night at her place. He held her hair as she coughs into the toilet, gave her clean handkerchiefs when the one she was using got too bloody, and even cooked for her. This boy was always too good for the world he was brought into, in her opinion.

The next person, well, persons, to find out was Tim's family. 

She went over to the Wayne Manor, to drop off some case reports for Tim. However, when she arrived Dick was the one who opened the door and told her that Tim had an "appointment" he had to go to. Suddenly, he was pushed out of the way and instead, Jason stood before her. Next thing she knew, was one minute she was outside on the doorstep and the next she was seated on the couch with Damian next to her as Jason was about to insert a movie into the DVD player.

"Look, I really should get going," she said, as she felt a wave of coughs coming up.

"Forget it Pixie Pop. We haven't seen you in forever and it's movie night. Damian got to pick, so I hope your good with scary, gory movies," Jason said.

Just as he was going to give a rundown of the movie, Marinette couldn't hold it in anymore. The two in the room quickly surrounded her not knowing what to do. Then Dick came in with a bowl of popcorn, that ended up on the floor. He ran to her side and began to rub comforting circles on her back. 

"Alfred," Dick yelled.

Surely he would know what to do.

"Who the hell, is it," Jason asked, with an edge to his tone.

Dick just looked at him, this wasn't the time for such questions. 

"Don't look at him like that Grayson. Don't deny that you want to know too," Damian said, monotonously.

"Damian."

Damian attention was drawn to his father who stood next to Alfred who already had the tools he needed to remove the disease. It turns out it wasn't his first time operating with someone in this condition.

"Father, I-," Damian began, but was silent when his father shook his head and made his way toward Marinette. 

Bruce crouched down to height, and noted the tail of blood from the corner of lips, and amount of bloodied petals and flowers that now decorated his carpet. He wonders just how long this has been going on, and how much pain she must be in. He considered it a miracle that she was even alive at this point.

"You don't have to go through with it. I want you to know that, however, I advise that you do. From the looks of it, it won't be long until you," Bruce said, tailing off towards the end.

It takes a genius to know what he was implying. 

"Thank you Bruce, but no thank you," she said.

This earned her a loud, "what," from the three young males in the room. They couldn't wrap their heads around the fact that she wouldn't accept the surgery. They could see she was in pain, and now looking at her, when was the last time see got a good night's sleep or a proper meal?! The boys were even more confused when Bruce simply nodded his head, and looked to Alfred.

After nodding his head, Alfred said, "If you follow me miss Marinette, I'll give you some remedies that will help with the pain."

"Thank you Alfred."

Just as she was about to leave with Alfred, she paused and said, "It's Tim."

"I'll kill that little fucker."

"Damian!"

"You can't stop me this time, Father!"

"Don't worry, I'll help this time Demon Spawn."

"Jason!"

"Fuck off Brucie!"

When Tim got home, he was on cloud nine. He and Seph had been going out for a while now, and it was all thanks to Marinette. If she hadn't been there to encourage him and help him plan the first date, who knows what might have been.

His was on such a high that l, he didn't feel the disappoint stare from Dick as he held back Damian, or Bruce practically drag Jason's out cold body to the Batcave. Hell, he didn't even notice that Alfred didn't even greet him at the door.

"Let go of me Grayson!"

Tim's attention was now drawn toward his oldest and youngest brother. 

Raising an eyebrow, he asked, "what's his problem?"

Now that seemed to set off Damian even more. 

"What's my problem?! You funcking bastard! Honestly, she could've done so much better than to choose your sorry ass to give her heart to! Now... Now she's suffering and you haven't even taken the time to notice it. She's put aside her feelings for you and helped you so many times. Not just with your love life but with cases, homework, team ups, and even making sure you eat. You don't... You don't deserve her," Damian said, no longer squirming to be released from Dick's hold.

"Wait. What," Tim asked, not really processing what what happened.

Dicked just sighed, and said, "Just go to your room Tim."

"But-"

"I SAID GO TO YOUR ROOM!"

That caught Tim off guard. It was rare to see Dick angry, but he knew it was best to stand clear.

Realizing what he just did, Dick apologized saying that it's been a long day. Tim nodded, but had a bad feeling. A feeling that this day was a warning of something that was to come.

Two weeks later, the news spread that Marinette was in the hospital. When Tim heard this, he felt his heart shatter into thousands of little pieces.  

"What's this about Marinette being in the Hospital," Tim asked Conner.

To say he was worried was an understatement. However, when Conner couldn't even look him in the eyes, he quickly ran out of the school's doors and got onto his car. Once he was able to find out what hospital she was checked into, he threw all traffic laws out the window. He needed to get to his best friend, and fast. 

In that one day, nearly caused six different accidents. When he got to the hospital, he didn't even bother with properly parking the car. He just left in front of the entrance, engine running, and dashed inside. Screw it if his car gets stolen.

He didn't bother with reception, he went straight to her room. He ignored the yells from the nurses, and the smell of chemicals as he ran. His mind was focused simply on Marinette.

Finally finding her room, he all but threw the door open. Inside her room was his family, all with solemn faces. In the middle was Marinette, surrounded with bloody flowers and petals, meanwhile in her hand was a whole bloody pink camellia.

"Marinette," he said.

Bruce stood up, and placed a hand on Damian's shoulder to stop him from lashing out at Tim. Meeting Tim's gaze, Bruce said, "We'll give you two some space."

"Hey," she said, tiredly.

"Hey," he responded, as he pulled up a chair next to her bed.

"It's not as bad as it looks," she said, and another wave of vicious coughs took control of her.

Tim could only watch helplessly as blood, petals and flowers brush out from within her. 

"Have you talked to Ivy yet," he asked, when she was done.

"Yeah, turns out when it comes to these kinds of things her powers have affect. Kind of sucks to be honest," she said, in between some light coughs.

"Tim."

"Yeah, Mari," he asked. 

Was it just him or was she gasping for air?

"I don't have a lot of time left," she said, in between gasps.

"Mari..."

Tears were beginning to for in his eyes. He could stop them from staining his cheeks as the ran down his face.

"Please listen. None of this is your fault. It's not your fault."

"Mari, please..."

'Why is her breathing becoming more spaced out? God, no. Please, dont. Please, don't take her. Not today. Not any day soon,' Tim thought.

"I love you. You need to know that," Marinette said taking in a few more breaths before fell limp.

"Mari? Come on Mari this isn't funny. Wake up, please. Mari? Marinette? Marinette," Tim called out to her but received no reply, much less a reaction.

He then fell out of his chair, and his knees. Both his hands clasped tightly round the hand that held one big, bloody pink camellia. 

On that day, Tim cried like he never cried before. Meanwhile, outside the halls his family weren't holding up any better.

Over the course of a week, a small memorial was held at the school. Her parents and close friends and family attended the funeral. Upon all the guest that arrived, Tim was the last to leave.

As he stared at the stone, he suddenly felt a cough scratch at the back of his throat. Removing his hand from his mouth, he found the petals of purple hyacinth and forget-me-not.

'I'm sorry, and true love,' he thought, bittersweetly.

Looking up to the gray sky of Gotham City, she whispered, "So this is heartache. I miss you Mari."

Send me a number!

Flowers and their meanings here!