#covidmakesmewannadie

[am-i-me-questionmark]

Why does everyone always leave

Why do I always ruin everything

Why am I such a fucking failure

[am-i-me-questionmark]

At this point in life,

I've written more suicide notes

Than I've lived years

[am-i-me-questionmark]

Why am I even still here

[am-i-me-questionmark]

I hate that I ruin myself on purpose

[am-i-me-questionmark]

I am nothing

And

I am no one

[am-i-me-questionmark]

The worst thing about bipolar II is that hypomania isn't even bad.

Hypomania is like a breath of fresh air, a good day but for months on end, loving yourself and being so confident in everything you do, being so motivated to get everything done and try new things

Until the day the switch flips and you just know...

It's time to fucking go back to Hell

[am-i-me-questionmark]

I dont know if I can do this

I dont know what I'm doing

[am-i-me-questionmark]

I just realized the reason I've actually been mostly okay these last few days...

Hypomania

Productive but unfocused through the roof

Spending so much money

Too suspiciously happy for a depressed bitch

[am-i-me-questionmark]

I'm such a waste of a person

Ha

All I do is lay here staring at a wall

[am-i-me-questionmark]

Why do I always put myself in these awful situations

[am-i-me-questionmark]

Why is the entire world working against me today, trying to make me kill myself

FFS

IM GONNA SCREAM

[am-i-me-questionmark]

I just want to drive to the beach in this shitty weather and

SCREAM

[am-i-me-questionmark]

I feel so hopelessly sad

[am-i-me-questionmark]

I'm just a mental health cocktail of problems 🤷‍♀️

[am-i-me-questionmark]

Why am I always waiting for my life to start?

Once I get 1 thing I'm just waiting for the next

Waiting forever

[am-i-me-questionmark]

Happy fucking birthday to me

I wanna die