#crack * ﹜ 04

[jayujus]

rent a boyfriend! - chapter 4

— 04 cocktail party!!!

written ~ 1.0k + smau

heeseung adjusts his tux, sweat building at his nape from nervousness. who would have thought that he'd be taking a girl out that he met from a sketchy site?

he rings her doorbell, unsure if the flowers are too extra or not.

a few seconds later, y/n opens the door, flashing a bright smile at him. honestly, she's surprised he is actually real herself even if she did not really question it. he is a fine man, especially in the suit he is wearing right now and in person. a small smile forms on his face as he hands her a bouquet of dahlias and roses. y/n's smile grows even bigger as she grabs the bouquet from him, pulling him into a hug as she steps outside her apartment.

"this dress is so pretty on you." he whispers in her ear as she links her arm with his, as if they've been a couple for so long. "you look good too."

exiting the luxurious apartment building, y/n is met with heeseung's NOT white van. his car was fairly nice, a black bmw. "you didn't bring a white van?" heeseung raises his eyebrows as he opens the door for her. "did you want me to?" y/n doesn't say anything, putting on her seatbelt. "this is a nice car." heeseung hums, "i got it as a gift by my brother," y/n nods, giving him the directions to the building.

__

once they arrived in the building's huge parking lot, y/n tells him some reminders. "my parents are going to want to meet you right away, just be normal. please," heeseung hums. "don't worry!"

he helps y/n step out of the car, "should i leave the flowers in the car...?" heeseung shrugs, "are you going to come and get it later?" y/n thinks for a few seconds, "actually, i was wondering if you'd be able to drop me off tonight. you don't have to! just wondering." she asks nervously, which makes heeseung blush. "i'll drop you, no worries."

immediately when y/n enters the building with heeseung by her side, she hears her mother rushing excitedly to her, some of her drink spills on the way. "oh my god! y/n! is this the boy you were talking about?" y/n hums, "this is heeseung." her mom flashes a big smile at him, "hi heeseung, we should talk a little bit. i will go find your dad, y/n." y/n sucks in her breath, mouthing a 'sorry' to heeseung before her mom walks away.

about two minutes later, y/n's mom comes back with her dad, who greets heeseung. "you are a very handsome man, surprisingly. my y/n has never had a boyfriend before, so i was worried who'd she bring." y/n covers her face in embarrassment, hinting at her parents to stop talking. "what do you do? what do your parents do?" heeseung purses his lips at the bombarded questions. "i study law. my parents run a family restaur-" y/n elbows heeseung, "his parents are doctors." y/n's parents smile, "wow! that's really cool, y/n, you did a good job finding him." y/n smiles awkwardly, dragging heeseung away a few seconds later.

heeseung furrows his eyebrows when y/n told a lie.

__

heeseung ended up meeting a lot of y/n loved ones tonight. he first met her parents— which was awkward, her friend group, her aunts and uncles, and her sister.

when heeseung excuses himself to the restroom, her sister, jinah, asks, "where did you meet him, y/n?" y/n quickly comes up with another lie. she won't have to see heeseung again after tonight, right? it won't matter. she'll send him the money and they won't talk again. "we met at the mall! yeah! he offered to pay for my stuff so it just went from there...." she smiles awkwardly and jinah knows she's lying. she can tell but she doesn't say anything about it right now. the last thing she wants her baby sister dealing with is more stress than their parents already give her.

when heeseung comes back, jinah excuses herself and the two just hang out by the food, munching on some of the chocolate covered-strawberries while talking about whatever.

"i honestly thought you weren't real, my friends kept saying so. your hair color kept changing in every picture." heeseung chuckles. "my friend sunghoon dyes my hair for me," y/n hums. "i like this color on you." he blushes, jokingly flirting with her back.

"do you want to dance?" heeseung nods and y/n grabs his hand, pulling him with her to the dance floor.

__

the party ended and it was around 1:30 am. y/n was hugging her friends goodbye before being left with just her sister, parents, and heeseung. "heeseung, it was good to meet you. you seem like a nice man and you make my daughter happy, thank you." heeseung smiles at her mom and dad, bowing at them.

he also bows to y/n's sister, "get her home safely." y/n's dad says, to which heeseung nods. "don't worry, mr. jeon. i will."

heeseung considers placing a hand around her waist. he really thought she was the prettiest girl ever but this was only for one night, that would be too awkward.

"thank you for doing this for me, actually. i'll send you the money when i get home." heeseung purses his lips, "you don't need to send me the money, it's fine." y/n raises an eyebrow as she enters his car. "what? no, i'm paying you." heeseung protests but there is no point because y/n continues arguing back.

"i rented you for one night, so i have to pay you." heeseung doesn't say anything else but mumbling an 'okay.'

"you make a pretty good boyfriend, to be honest. do you have any girl you're interested in?" heeseung hesitantly shakes his head. "what about you?" y/n shrugs. "beomgyu's cute but he doesn't like me."

"the atrocious man you posted?" he jokes and y/n jokingly slaps his arm. "be nice!"

"he fumbled, seriously he fumbled." y/n blushes and turns to face the window, "tell me about it."

a few minutes later, they arrive at her apartment building. "want me to walk you in?"

"you don't have to," heeseung asks again and y/n says the same thing, so he just helps her out of the car and she gives him a quick hug. he hands her the flowers he got for her. "goodnight heeseung." she smiles, "goodnight."

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KAIA'S NOTE sorryy this isn't proofread and i'm not the most confident in my writing skills 😣 also if im unable to tag you anymore i wont be able to keep you on the taglist 💔💔

TAGLIST (CLOSED) @leep0ems @yyawnjun @saursoob @heerinnie @wvnkoi @heeslut4life @sunghoonnsupremacy @ramenoil @chxrlvspp @wonniestars @beommii @kwiwin @dimplewonie @eleanorheartschishiya @sunkislove @jaeyunluvr @txtlyn @aishigrey @simjyunnie @oldjws @baevsxii @sumzysworld @iamliacamila @yvrikoo @hotsforikeu @w3bqrl @jiaant11 @caryssoverhere @boutyouwonu @aespaslut @nishislcve @neocockthotology @erehkinnie30 @icepshrince @26796i @defnotfertilizedtoesw @kissezfornamjoon @ghostiiess @lprww @stilesks @k1ttylvr @rantiii @rikizm @kgneptun @jjunae @aerivrs @bomi-ja @dani-is-tired @ttylxox2 @i-yeseo

copyright © jayujus 2024 all rights reserved

[queerdiazs]

teaser tuesday <3

hiii i was tagged by @wikiangela, @giddyupbuck, and @jesuisici33 💖

once again please enjoy this little bit of eddie vs the hoa <3 i think i'll have chapter one of five-ish finished by tomorrow and britt's salivating in my messages over it, teehee

(it's not polished or anything and this isn't FINAL so just keep that in mind + eddie's so goddamn oblivious in this it's genuinely. hilarious.)

“Buck—” “You’re already seeing somebody else?”  “No, Buck. And I’m not in a hurry to, either.” He smiles and stands so they’re level with each other. Buck’s face is still pink, borderline red, and it makes his eyes impossibly more blue. “But I would like to, one of these days. I like being a boyfriend.” He draws in a deep breath and nudges Buck’s shoulder with his own. “So, eventually, I’d like to try again with somebody. Long term.”  Buck blinks. “Eventually.”  “Yeah, man. Eventually.” He grips Buck’s shoulder with his hand, ducking low so he can meet Buck’s eyes. “You okay?”  Because Buck gets like this sometimes, you know. Stuck in his side like there’s a storm raging behind his eyes, a hurricane or tornado or monsoon or all of it, all at once, and there’s nowhere for him to go for shelter. So he’s just there, rooted in his mind, and left to weather all of it by himself.  Well, fuck that. Buck’s got Eddie now and he doesn’t have to deal with that shit all alone anymore. Buck’s bullshit is Eddie’s bullshit, too, and he’s going to endure that storm with Buck right by his side because Buck would never, ever leave him out in the night by himself and Buck deserves that same devotion, as well.  Buck heaves a great, dramatic sigh and smiles crookedly. “Absolutely peachy,” he swears, tilting further into Eddie’s touch like a lumpy moon being pulled in too close to its planet, and then sways away just as messy and quick. “You, uh, better go before you’re late to meet with the realtor.”  “Shit.” Eddie looks at his watch again. “Shit.” He sighs, scrubbing a hand down his face. “Come over for dinner tonight? I’ll make tater tot casserole and we can have chocolate malts for dessert.” 

tagging @honestlydarkprincess, @housewifebuck, mi media naranja @eddiediaztho, @wildlife4life, @watchyourbuck, @diazblunt, @disasterbuckdiaz, @thewolvesof1998, @alyxmastershipper, @jeeyuns, @mysteriouslyyounggalaxy, and everybody else pls i wanna see everything when i wake up from my lil nap

[dviilcried]

test. tag dump

[glucosehighs]

Atsumu, terrified at the prospect of dinner with Kiyoomi's very traditional parents for the first time, desperately calls Osamu for help. Osamu, completely clueless about old customs himself, forwards him a link to a website on British monarchical traditions.

The dinner is at Kiyoomi's parents' penthouse in the heart of Tokyo, and there are a couple of sharply dressed middle-aged men standing in front of the imposing double doors.

Oh god, Atsumu thinks. His worst fears from bingeing The Crown the night before are coming true.

"Quick, Omi," he mutters under his breath. "Who's the head of your family? Your mom or your dad?"

"Huh?" Kiyoomi only has time to throw him a quizzical look before the housekeepers- nay, footmen- throw the doors to the dining room open and announce their arrival.

The dining room is high-ceilinged and overlooks Tokyo, a sea of lights from the shiny glass windows. Atsumu is sure that the gleaming crystal chandelier costs ten years of his salary.

Kiyoomi's parents are already seated at the table, both of them in pressed suits. Kiyoomi's mother is seated at one end of the rectangular table, and her husband is seated beside her. They both smile as Kiyoomi and Atsumu walk in.

A matriarch, then, Atsumu thinks, grimly. He turns in the direction of Kiyoomi's mother and sinks into a curtsy.

"Ma'am," he says gravely. He does not rise from the ground, and keeps his gaze fixed downwards. After all, Netflix has taught him well.

And yet Kiyoomi's mother does not motion for him to stand. Atsumu's thighs are pro-athlete standard, and are definitely not aching. Was this some kind of test? Did all of Kiyoomi's boyfriends get this treatment, or was he singled out because of his comparatively humble background? He didn't count on Crazy Rich Asians coming to life, but-

Then Kiyoomi is yanking him upwards. "What the hell are you doing?" he hisses.

"Payin' my respects," Atsumu whispers back. "'Samu said that I'd be beheaded if I-"

Then he realises that Kiyoomi's parents are hiding their barely concealed mirth behind their hands. "What did I say about watching dramas before bedtime?" Kiyoomi admonishes.

Ah. Well. Atsumu still wants to flee the country, but now for a very different reason.

Kiyoomi's father lets out a huge guffaw, and then Kiyoomi is laughing, too, and Atsumu thinks that he'd gladly embarrass himself ten times over if he could make him laugh like that every day.

The rest of the dinner is smooth sailing, with Kiyoomi's parents being completely endeared by what they call Atsumu's "boyish charm". Atsumu claims that it'd been his plan the whole time, and Kiyoomi rolls his eyes but squeezes his hand under the table.

bonus: Atsumu, having been put on the planet for the purpose of making his brother's life miserable, tells Osamu that the website is right. Osamu, when meeting Suna's parents for the first time, pulls exactly the same move to equally disastrous results.

[bibliopathy]

too many horrors, not enough horrible people on dash in my opinion--

[zealctry]

🔪⚡

ask Hidan stuff / ( unprompted, always accepting. )

hoppity-hop-hop!! oopsie. there he goes, dodging all of that ( laughter trailing behind him in the aftermath, a ghost dancing in his footsteps ). when he straightens, hair just a little in disarray from the ( acrobatic ) evasion, he’s grinning, even as he dusts off the soil from his hands. callouses rub against callouses. he hardly feels a thing, anymore ( the body is surprisingly adaptable ; proper chakra control helps, but there’s nothing like toughening up via sheer physical exertion ).

           “ o-hoo. lightning, huh? look at you! FULL of surprises! ”  a head-tilt, in consideration. the grin doesn’t waver, not once. in fact, if one were to judge on the surface level, it would be easy to assume that Hidan was very much enjoying himself ( an assumption that is both right and wrong, for different reasons; the dilemma of the half-full / half-empty glass. it is, in the end, a matter of perspective. but he doesn’t allow his mind to linger on that for too long. )   “ reminds me of the grand old time I’ve had in Kumogakure as a youth! well. come on then, kid ; try again! ”

[bhaalswn-arch]

alkas can casually crack his knuckles and his wrists

[justkcn]

@astrapink said : " i got you this. now i can ask you for the time. " it's a watch with pastel bi flag strap.

"aw, yes," he's beaming from ear to ear, quick to snatch the fancy schmancy watch right out of her hands, "yes, yes, yes!" pausing for a beat, he eyes his collection of watches strapped to his wrists with furrowed brows.

well, one of them definitely has to go, because now he has the chance to wield dual power.

tossing a cheap, plastic, horse-adorned watch over his shoulder, ken is entirely giddy as he fastens his shiny new watch around his wrist. "m'lady," he gestures to her with a chivalrous bow, "m'dude," he gestures to a nearby ken, "i am now officially bisexual."

[turnabovt]

TAG DUMP !

[lunafool]

tag dump 01.

navigation.

☽ ▌ ▏▏▏ 01 ― 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘰𝘯'𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘴 • ( ic ) ☽ ▌ ▏▏▏ 02 ― 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 • ( ooc ) ☽ ▌ ▏▏▏ 03 ― 𝘵𝘦𝘹𝘵 𝘮𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘢𝘨𝘦𝘴 • ( inbox ) ☽ ▌ ▏▏▏ 04 ― 𝘤𝘭𝘶𝘣 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘴 • ( prompts ) ☽ ▌ ▏▏▏ 05 ― 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 • ( dash comm ) ☽ ▌ ▏▏▏ 06 ― 𝘮𝘰𝘣𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘨𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘴 • ( dash game ) ☽ ▌ ▏▏▏ 07 ― 𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘭𝘣𝘶𝘮 • ( gallery ) ☽ ▌ ▏▏▏ 08 ― 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨'𝘴 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘦𝘧𝘵 𝘢 𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘬 • ( headcanon ) ☽ ▌ ▏▏▏ 09 ― 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘨𝘰𝘵𝘵𝘢 𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦; 𝘨𝘰 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘪𝘵，𝘣𝘶𝘳𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥 • ( character study ) ☽ ▌ ▏▏▏ 10 ― 𝘪𝘯𝘷𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘨𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘶𝘴 • ( queue ) ☽ ▌ ▏▏▏ 11 ― 𝘮𝘱3 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺𝘦𝘳 • ( audio ) ☽ ▌ ▏▏▏ 12 ― 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘥𝘺 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘱 • ( reference ) ☽ ▌ ▏▏▏ 13 ― 𝘱𝘰𝘦𝘮 𝘰𝘧 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦'𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘭 • ( promo ) ☽ ▌ ▏▏▏ 14 ― 𝘣𝘶𝘳𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥 • ( self promo ) ☽ ▌ ▏▏▏ 15 ― 𝘸𝘦'𝘳𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘤𝘭𝘪𝘮𝘣 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘶𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘦 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 • ( crack )

[illithidtouched]

tag dump

[bibliopathy]

does this to you

[zealctry]

"What's makes someone attractive in your eyes, Hidan san?"

the question gives him pause ——— enough to halt his scarfing down of rice, at least, although it takes Hidan a considerably longer time to lower the bowl ( for a handful of moments, he merely observes the other man from just over its edge, his raised eyebrow doing a pretty good job of expressing his innermost thoughts: what. the. fuck. Kisame? )

because. . . . well, what the actual fuck, you know? how is that mealtime conversation? why is it mealtime conversation? the second pale eyebrow claws its way up to join its twin, even as the bowl meets the hard surface of the table.

a thoughtful hum, as Hidan nibbles ( quite rudely ) on the end of his chopsticks. the ceiling receives a close inspection, as if the answer is to be found in the time-highlighted stains there ( yellowing, now ).

              “ hm. well, isn’t it generally universal? something about the symmetry of features or somesuch. ” don’t ask him about the details ; he ain’t the artist. and he wouldn’t —perhaps couldn’t— elaborate on that theme.  “ but I suppose, for me . . . strength. ”  of body. of mind. of conviction ( resolution ), most of all.  

and back to scarfing down the meal he goes!

[normalium]

and finally tags

ooc ✧ 01

ic ✧ 02

crack ✧ 03

headcanons ✧ 04

dash ✧ 05

aes ✧ 06

self ✧ 07

queue ✧ 08

answered ✧ 09

art tag ✧ 10

saved ✧ 11

team ✧ 12

musings ✧ 13

memes ✧ 14

rp ✧ 15

[jayujus]

rent a boyfriend! - lhs smau

PAIRING rich girl!y/n x broke college student!heeseung

SYNOPSIS in which jeon y/n is desperate to find a boyfriend ASAP because she needs a date for her family's mixer. her best friend, ningning, introduces her to a website perfect for this situation!

OR.....

drunk heeseung unknowingly signs up for a website on the dark web.

FEATURING miso of dreamnote as y/n, aespa, nana, enha hyung line + other idols occasionally

GENRE(S) fluff, crack, angst, love triangle, rent a boyfriend trope

WARNING(S) suggestive, kys/kms jokes, friends are mean to each other (lightheartedly), bit of parental neglect (daddy issues), y/n's indecisive af n accidentally hurts ppl 🧍‍♀️

STATUS ongoing

STARTED february 26 2024

COMPLETED -

KAIA'S NOTE taglist is closed, ignore timestamps... i am really looking forward to this smau! i will try to be consistent this time but i won't make a schedule since i never follow them....

PROFILES kwangya quest | super flops | y/n's fam

PROLOGUE technical difficulties

01 needy y/n

02 WOAH hes fine.....

03 cheating on you

04 cocktail party!!! 💬 1.0k + smau

05 roses are red

06 belieber vs jungkooker

07 cardboard jungkook

08 #JeonYnIsOverParty

09 jhené aiko is goated

10 who the hell is chaewon?!

11 lover boy

12 sea in the fish

13 eternal sunshine

14 mary cooper

15 girls is players too

16 when 2 people love each other....

17 i know

18 bitchless no more!

19 get help

20 2 man trumpet???

21 go easy on me baby

22 blues

23 split in half 💬 0.3k + smau

24 tba

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