#craig sucks at flirting

[rhayafell]

0 charisma

Also umm. For some reason the drawing looks a bit more saturated for some reason but im too lazy to fix it hehe

[matchbet-allofthetime]

Hi again! I melted over the Boone hcs—the way you write him is so good. Can I request your nsfw ramblings about Boone too? I just know his trigger finger could be put to good use…elsewhere 😩

VERY good use anon, you've read my mind 😉

Enjoy my excited horny rambling about Craig Boone below the cut ✨

Boone NSFW HCs:

-this man has a damn quick and steady trigger finger, and that extends to how he can fuck you with his fingers.

-he's a big boy by all accounts, and that gives him thick fingers, thick thighs and arms, and a thick dick.

-he can and WILL go commando, and that dick WILL be slung over the curve of his hip right where you can see it no matter what pants he wears

-he doesn't talk much unless you get him in a rare conversational mood at the best of times without fucking him. Despite that, he will absolutely mumble muffled praises and promises no matter how hard he's slamming his hips against your own

-definitely open for a poly relationship with you and a certain blonde doctor 👀

-casually constantly horny. Never stops.

-can and will keep going- like any other situation, puts both his endurance and strength to use

-puts that oral fixation and his habit of staying quieter to good use, because he WILL stuff his mouth with cock or cunt within moments of you telling him he can

-unnaturally long tongue, just a strange genetic trait. Serves him well when he pleasures partners

-dude will wilfully ignore arousal in lieu of his work but does get worked up if you tease enough to piss him off

-a touch possessive, mostly because he worries so much- leads often to him using a broad palm to press against your spine (or Arcade's, if he's also in on it all) to pin you down under him

-prefere giving over receiving, but if you do give, he certainly won't complain. It's one of few ways he gets vocal though, so be mindful

-takes as much as he gives. So if he ducks you hard, he expects you to fuck him harder right after

-silent touches and the holding of hands, even if he's rough

-only real exception to this is if he's pinned your hands or has both hands on your hips; he just loves being able to feel his partner(s) there with him

-king of aftercare tbh; despite growing up in the wastes, he's no less attentive of a partner. He is a sniper, after all, and he will notice every little wince or tightening of muscles even if you don't realize it.

-ultimately leads to him soothing kisses over soft bruising in the shapes of his fingers and teeth

-speaking of teeth, he likes to nibble! Not too hard, but he puts those sharp teefies to good use and thoroughly enjoys kissing into soft skin just to sink his teeth in a little bit.

-always makes sure to pay attention to all bites, bruises, and other aches and marks whenever it's said and done.

-regardless of gender, if he's fucking you from behind, spooning you to fuck you, or missionary- if his hand can support itself against your belly, it will 100% of the time unless he's preoccupied with something else

-likely stems from a need to protect that can and will get incredibly snippish toward those who aren't with him

-this man doesn't get jealous for the life of him, but he DOES get pissy when someone flirts with who he's with, primarily when they know he's with them

-leads to rough fucking just to be sure his partner(s) are marked fully. Followed quickly by tender, slow sex just so he can relax and worship

-he sounds he makes tend to be deeper grunts, and the sucking in of air in sharp, harsh intervals.

-but you can make him cry when it's tender enough, and you'll get soft whines and delightful noises of pleasure from him if you let him lose himself in it all

-switch, and can easily change that day to day. Most often a dominant bottom or a service top unless he's in a particular mood

-will happily get on his knees for a partner

-scrape your fingers through his buzzed hair- you can't pull it, hasn't been long in years, but it still riles him up

-bite at his wrist and kiss across his knuckles or kiss and suck little marks into his jaw and throat; that'll all have him worked up and anxious to bend you over just to see the arch of your spine

-the type of attentive to stuff a pillow under your hips but ignore the pain in his own knees

-prone to sub drops, so be very tender with him

-doesn't like admitting it for a long while, but he likes spanking to a lesser degree, and also has a thing for pain play

-it's NEVER enough to cause genuine damage, but he thinks reddened and swollen skin on a partner from the sheer size and weight of his hands is hotter than sin

-also likes sticking his fingers in a partner's mouth; the muffled sucking gets his brain hazy in the best way

-will put in HOURS when able just learning your body, learning what makes you tick and what has you teetering over the edge faster

-as per my much more sfw post, I expressed that I think he has nipple piercings. I think he'd have gotten them early into the NCR, likely as a dare or whatever, then found he liked them and never took them out

-I ALSO think he's the type of cheeky to have a Prince Albert. It's a hassle in the wasteland at times, but then, what isn't?

-shove a cock down his throat until he's sobbing with pleasure; he doesn't have a gag reflex and any choking that occurs is either by your hands, his own, or him struggling to breathe through tears of want

-likewise, he will choke someone lightly. It's mostly just his hand resting against a partner's throat and giving reassuring squeezes, but it makes him feel like he's protecting them in a way

-ride his thighs, PLEASE ride those thick ass thighs! He is not a small man by any means, and if you suck hickies into his throat and scratch at the tattoos on his broad back while rolling your hips against his thigh, hoooo boy, he will fucking ruin you

-is down for quickies when out and about in the wastes, but generally holds off unless he's angry, teased too long, or until you're back in a safe place (typically the Lucky 38, or if everyone else is gone for the time being, the Old Mormon Fort)

-is cheekiest when taking it up the ass, I don't make the rules. Can be a bit of a cocky tease, if not a downright soft brat

-ask him to keep the beret on and he'll cum in his pants in seconds.

-this dude fucks nasty AND sweet. Ends up with some curious but enjoyable experiences

-hates orgasm denial, but adores overstimulation every time

-he's patient but orgasm denial leaves him feeling more pissed off than eager

-but he'd like to be a shaking mess- or make his partner into one- or both! So make sure to use it

-will try to toy with partners under tables. He doesn't give a fuck, he will have a hand on your thigh and will stroke you then and there

[makeyoumine69]

𝐁𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮 | 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧

— PAIRING: Patrick Bateman x Fem!Reader

— SYNOPSIS: When you accidentally violated Patrick Bateman's personal boundaries, your punishment was just a matter of time.

— CONTAINS: Flirting, teasing, semi-public oral sex (69), light bondage, nipple play, finger sucking, cum swallowing, spanking, Patrick has a dirty mouth, Praise kink, pet names.

— WORDCOUNT: 1.7k

— A/N: This is commission for my dear @r04dk1ll-w4nn4b3! I 'm so happy to be able to share it with you, I hope you like it! 💗

— LINKS: [MASTERLIST] 🪓

Patrick Bateman was the kind of man who loved absolute perfectionism in everything. His apartment on Manhattan's Upper West Side was no exception. Every time you were there, you felt like you were in an art gallery, not to mention his super-modern audio system, which he loved to use. 

Thrilled to be in his place, you were looking out the large window in his living room when you heard his soft footsteps behind you.

"Wanna listen to Whitney Houston's new tape, honey?" Patrick purred as he wrapped his hand around your waist. "I bought it today."

"Sure," you replied, covering his palm as it slid down your curvy hips. "I love your taste in music."

Bateman chuckled before pecking your cheek. "Only in music, huh?"

Smugly, he strolled away to turn on the stereo, and then Whitney Houston's amazing voice echoed through the living room.

"Man, her singing is outstanding!" You exclaimed, and your excitement made him grin.

"(Y/N), my dear, can you take glasses for you and me," he crooned playfully as he handed over a bottle of what must have been super expensive wine. "Tim recommended a new brand of wine, I want to try it."

After you nodded, you quickly went to the kitchen and started looking for the glasses you needed. When you noticed a half open cupboard, you couldn't fight your curiosity to sneak inside. Slowly, you turned around to make sure Patrick was not looking, and then you opened it completely, revealing all the stuff inside. When you saw a chainsaw, you couldn't hold back a loud gasp.

"Are you okay?" Bateman's anxiety resounded behind your back and after a few seconds he was already in the kitchen. "Dear..." Patrick stammered as he saw an open cupboard. "What are you doing here?"

"N-nothing, I was just looking for some glasses!" 

"Aha," instead of scolding you he just giggled and looked at the chainsaw you couldn't stop staring at. "Do you like things like that?"

"Excuse me?" You stepped back a little, especially when he ran his finger along the metal part of the chainsaw. 

"You're so curious, I love it," he suddenly blurted out before closing the cupboard and pulling you into a passionate kiss. "Let's go back to the living room and finally taste the wine."

Possessively, Patrick turned you around and made you move forward, his dark eyes sparkling dangerously as you headed out of the kitchen.

A few days later, Patrick invited you to Craig McDermott's party at his family's big house, which Bateman didn't really find fancy, so you couldn't really understand why he'd brought you here at all; not to mention that he was acting a little... strange almost the whole evening? 

"There you are!" you nearly spilled your drink at his sudden voice. "I've been looking for you, my dear."

With a soft smile, you turned around as you felt his strong arms glide across your back. "Did you miss me already?"

"Of course!"

Damn, his full-teeth smile always made you feel things, especially when he touched you like that - barely sensible, only to tease you.

"I thought, maybe we can escape this party for a while?" Bateman whispered in your ear, his large palm already outlining the shape of your cute butt. "My curious little girl..." 

His low growl was accompanied with a slight pinch on your ass, which caused your legs to tremble from a sudden surge of heat.

"Uhh, you're such a tease!" You replied, breathing heavily.

Without saying anything, Patrick just looped his arm around your waist and gestured for you to follow him; you were a little scared but excited because this man was always so fucking unpredictable.

Later, the two of you went upstairs, kissing and cradling each other all the way to what was supposed to be a guest room. 

"P-Patrick," you gasped and shivered as he started to attack your neck the moment you entered the room. "You didn't close the door?"

As soon as you asked that question, Patrick let out a raspy grunt and pushed you onto the bed behind you. "Why should I?"

His eyes glowed with lust as he saw a hint of fear on your beautiful face.

"What's the matter, my dear?" he advanced on you, his huge frame lilting with each step. "Get over here, sweetheart…I wanna play with you."

Squawking, you tried to move away from him, but he grabbed your legs and pulled you closer, slipping under your skirt to reveal your black panties.

"WAIT!" you whimpered in a mild panic, afraid someone would get in. "Patrick..." a muffled moan fell from your dry lips as you felt his tongue on your inner thigh. "W-why can't you wait till we get home?"

Bateman burst out laughing and spread your legs wider as you continued to resist him. "You know, I thought you liked the thrill of being caught..." he cooed to you as his long fingers pulled at your underwear, the friction against your feverish clit making you jerk and moan. "Ohh, what was that?"

"Mmm, Patrick..." your face burned from the inside as he did it again, tugging harder on your panties, rubbing your sensitive bud through the wet fabric. "What... what if someone comes in?"

"I'm sure anyone who comes in will be pleased with the scene they see," Patrick groaned and licked your pussy through your underwear, sending shivers down your spine, "Now be a good girl and take your punishment as you’re supposed to."

Shocked, you stopped everything and looked at him. "Punishment for what?"

"For your curiosity, of course," Bateman snickered and turned you, so that your head hung over the edge of the bed. "You know the expression 'curiosity killed the cat'?"

With that, Patrick unbuckled his belt and then his pants, your heavy breathing filling the room faster than you could even notice. Huffing, you wanted to protest again, but he didn't let you as he slid two fingers into your mouth. Amused, Bateman admired the way you twitched on the bed as he pushed his digits further down your throat, nearly choking you, while his other hand unfastened his tie only to wrap it around your wrists. 

"Fuck, that mouth certainly craves more," Patrick murmured, pulling your top down, so he could cup your small shapely breast. "Good, good...keep sucking my fingers."

"Mmhm," you mewled around his digits, taking them as deep as you could. "A-awww, Gos-shhh!"

An electric shock ran through your trembling body as you sensed his warm mouth around your hard nipple, the way his strong tongue teased your tender flesh taking you so high.

"Jesus, you're so kinky," his raspy growl induced the tight knot in your lower abdomen to pulse. "Ahhh, you like the things I do to you?"

"Yes...P-Patrick..." you hiccuped as he placed his knee on the bed and began to lower himself, licking all the way down to your pubic bone. "Mmm..." Bateman kissed your mound briefly before moving your panties aside and sucking on your sensitive nub.

"Shit, you taste so delicious, my dear," he hummed, his face buried between your legs while he stroked himself to keep his dick hard. "'C'mon, I wanna drink all of your sweet juices."

Shaking, you moaned louder as he pulled his fingers out of your wet mouth, your saliva dripping down your chin. Right now, you didn't really care that someone could hear you, his tongue didn't give you a chance to save your clarity.

"Patrick...p-please, ahh!" you almost sobbed as he tongue fucked you, licking your soft inner walls and holding your hips wide open. "Ahh!"

"Imagine someone coming in, right now!" Patrick husked after tugging on your swollen clit with a nasty popping sound that almost made you cum. "Show me how you can use that pretty mouth of yours..."

First, Bateman began to draw his thick cock against your wet lips, then he bent down and made you lapping at his heavy sac.  A primal growl escaped his broad chest as you took his balls almost completely in your mouth and sucked them with all the passion you had.

"F-fuck, yes...mmm," he moaned and then dived back between your legs to continue devouring your succulent pussy. "Good girl, arghh-so fucking good!"

Patrick was losing control with every pitiful moan you made, his hips thrusting hard into your face, literally pinning you against the bed. Fuck, people outside the room would definitely hear your miserable whimpering as you were about to gag from how deep he was fucking your mouth.

"Mmghm!" You kicked your legs in the air as your lungs burned from the need for oxygen.

Even when he allowed you to rest and breathe, Bateman was still grinding against your face, his pulsating dick brushing along your wet cheek as he was so damn close while his tongue toyed your little tip. 

"Pat....Patrick!" Your voice cracked as you felt a burning sensation on your ass as his big palm mercilessly slapped it.

God, this was already too much for you, but then this bastard decided to nip at your sore clit and you thought you were going to pass out from the crazy mixture of pain and bliss.

"Go ahead, honey," he growled against your slit, squeezing your hip almost to the red marks on your soft skin. "I want to feel that tight little pussy throb on the tip of my tongue!"

"Aaahh...I can't...can't take it anymore...MMM!" you yelped as your climax washed over you like a tsunami. "A-wwww...GOSH!”

Bateman could listen to your high-pitched cries for an eternity, and he didn't care if the whole house could hear you at that moment as he slurped at your lascivious pussy, because he didn't want to waste a single drop of your delicious flavor. 

Still shaking, you let him bottom your bruised mouth once again and Patrick was face fucking you almost savagely without any mercy until he reached his peak as you milked his aching cock so perfectly, literally drowning in his hot cum but you swallowed all of it like a good girl was supposed to.

I don’t have a taglist. You can follow my side blog @makeyoumineagain and turn on notifications to know when I update!

[shippergirl-14]

Stan head canons

Hii, these are a little based on the episodes and popular opinions, but I also wanted to share some of my ideas. I guess most of them apply when he is older. ( Also, excuse my bad English in some of the phrases. I’m not sure if it’s right)

Please feel free to share your own head canons ^^

He is the messiest person to ever exist. All his clothes are scattered around his room together with music sheets and occasionally cans from energy drinks.

He loves animals, especially dogs. He sometimes goes to the local animal shelter to play with them. He drags Kyle with him.

He also invites Kyle everyday to walk Sparky with him. He loves walking around at dawn since the streets aren’t that busy.

His sleep schedule is completely messed up. He stays up way too long even on school days to play video games or work on songs.

He either has too much energy for the day or no at all. There is no in between.

Whenever he has to do an assignment, he is always procrastinating until the very last day. Somehow he always managed to finish it ( sometimes with Kyle’s help)

He wouldn’t survive a day without music. His headphones are always turned up to the max, making his friends question how his ears are still okay.

His music taste includes almost everything and he couldn’t tell you what his favorite song is. He also writes his own songs and plays the guitar. He wishes to be in a band again and is trying to convince some of his friends to join.

He somehow is still the quarterback of the football team, but he doesn’t take it really seriously. It’s fun sometimes though. The school forces every student to join a sports club.

His best subjects are music and history. Everything else is pretty average.

He only drinks at parties or with friends, but he often overestimates himself and ends up drunk and Kyle has to get him home.

He has undiagnosed adhd.

He is really good at Super Smash, but sucks at Mario Kart.

Stan loves Kyle’s hair and always tries to talk him out of cutting it. ( he had cried once when Kyle shaved his head as a kid)

He is the cousin of Craig and also has peruvian roots. He can speak Spanish, but is mad that Craig is better at it.

He is bisexual.

He absolutely can’t flirt without making it extremely awkward. His bros are the exception.

He either replies to a message immediately or weeks later. Phone calls aren’t even let through with a few exceptions like his mom, Kyle or Kenny.

Stan has given himself an earring and wanted give himself a piercing too. Kyle stopped him ( fr don’t do that. Mine got infected).

He has the habit of dying his hair blonde whenever something slightly inconvenient happens and regrets it afterwards.

Stan used to hold Kyle’s hand whenever he had to take his insulin shot. Since Kyle once nearly died from his diabetes, he is a bit more cautious about his best friend’s health.

Almost everyone likes him since he is a pretty chill guy.

He rarely eats meat and pays attention to only buying bio products.

[choking-on-ice]

South Park College Headcanons

I lost power for most to the day today, so I sat at a coffee shop and just killed time writing down headcanons for every SP character I could think of.

there's alot of them, but hopefully somebody out there finds these fun

Butters

Gender fluid / non-conforming

Saved up enough to move into dorms away from their parents

Autistic and very gullible still

has learned to stand up for themself and their friends better

Got fed up in senior year and spiked Cartman's drink w/ laxatives and locked him outside at a house party

Ppl secretly fear them a lil after that

Kept their baby face and a bit of chub

Still plays for Stan's death metal band

has a strange relationship w/ Kyle (who's grappling w/ some denied queerness)

still an absolute sweetheart

drinks at parties and smokes w/ friends, even tho everyone assumes they dont

their parents still totally suck

Kenny

revolving door of jobs cuz he gets bored easily, but is always selling weed on the side

Ran into more drug problems through highschool after his troubles cheesing

Went to rehab with Tweek and Stan, got clean, and is closer to them than ever before now

Butters stood by him at the peak of his addiction and now he would (and probably has) jump in front of a bullet for him

Joined the robotics club in HS

Pursuing an engineering degree w/ an academic scholarship

Still works as Mysterion, just w/out the undies over his pants

thinks it's funny to cockblock his friends

is kind of a player, but not a dick abt it

flirts alot, thinks it's fun to flirt w/ Tweek and Butters bc they never grew immune to his BS like the others

the idea of one of them reciprocating any flirting is terrifying to him tho

cuz he has a massive inferiority complex and lives in denial that he has real romantic feelings for anyone

ultimate rizz

Stan

Still fronts his death metal band

hopeless romentic

Bonded w/ Tweek over their crappy home lives when Tweek starts delivering to Tegridy Farm

Grew closer w/ Kenny when he found out he was in the same rehab program as him and Tweek

stronk farmboy, also p tanned which juxtaposes his alt style

Opens up to smoking weed in college now that he's sober

emotionally intelligent

NOT emotionally communicative / available tho

bottles stuff up

only knows how to vent when drunk, then later thru music

Kyle

jaded w/ a chip on his shoulder

prone to knee jerk reactions

throws hands at the drop of a hat

usually throws the first punch

kept playing sports after hs - football in college and basketball recreationally

did debate w/ wendy in HS

still bffs with stan, even tho they dont have many shared hobbies anymore

Craig

autistic

rizzless

doesn't rlly need game tho cuz he's only had eyes for Tweek, and Tweek's a mess

monotone + flat expression intimidates some people

has rep of being an asshole, it's only half true

is considered rebellious, but he just sees it as doing what he wants to do not what other ppl want him to

slow to anger, has never thrown the first punch

grew up to be tall and broad like his father at his age

his dad pushed him into playing football, after HS he only plays bc his friends are on the team and doesn't care much about winning

likes old school indie music, underground shows, and obscure bands, isn't pretentious about it tho

when Kenny tells him about the Tweek's drugging Tweek (and the rest of town) he loses it and has to get talked down from strangling Mr Tweek

Tweek

autistic + adhd

loves deathmetal, hardstyle EDM, death rap, and hardcore music in gen

bonds w/ Stan in late HS as he makes deliveries for the coffee shop up to the farm

Kenny and him are acquainted since Kenny delivers ingerdients to the shop

loves fantasy - LoTR, D&D, etc.

Trans FtM (cuz i am and i project onto my faves lol)

Finds out from Craig and Kenny that his parents have been drugging him w/ meth in the coffee since he was a child

spirals after this and has trouble trusting people, questioning everything and everyone in his life

becomes rlly close w/ Kenny and Stan when they all attend rehab together

moves out before HS even ends, couch surfing for the summer until he can move into the dorms

sobering up lets him gain some weight and he begins to look less sickly

I have more on the other characters, but I have arthritis and typing this much killed my fingers already. Hope u enjoyed if u got this far

[emo-gremlin]

Hey, you're cool! *hands you more MFN as memes/vines*

🎬

Lenard: what's cooler than being cool?

Gordon: financial stability

🎬

Lilianna: an octopus is just a wet spider

Ricky: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

🎬

Lenard: SOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME THE WORLD WAS GONNA-

George: end on December 21, 2012. I bought all this fucking pasta as a way to celebrate the end of the world and now I'm $10,000 in debt, my taxi got towed and I have wet pasta everywhere in my house

Lenard: ...I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed

🎬

Ricky: swear words are illegal now, say one and you'll be fined

Handy: heck

Ricky: you're on thin fucking ice

Ricky: oh no

🎬

Lenard: what if mayonnaise came in cans?

Lilianna: that would suck because you can't microwave metal...

Noir: *walking by drinking coffee* good morning to everyone except you people

🎬

Noir: anyone wanna get into an argument with me?

Ricky: ok cream cheese isn't that good

Noir: I was kidding but you know what fuck you for real

🎬

Unfriendly Lenard: I hate being high, why I hear footsteps?

Craig: are you walking?

Unfriendly Lenard: oh shit

🎬

Junebug: vanilla soy latte is just 3 bean soup

Gordon: why must you do this at 5am

🎬

George: a haiku for the bus drive who deliberately cut me off

George: *clears throat*

George: I swear to God bruh, let me catch you in the streets, bruh I swear to God

🎬

Unfriendly Lilianna: I find the fact I will never experience a sword fight in my entire life terribly tragic

🎬

Lenard: sorry, liberals, there's only 0 genders

Junebug: there's one gender ad we have to share

Craig: Gordon said its my turn on the gender

🎬

Norman: I wanna jump off a building and not die. Just relieve stress by slamming into the sidewalk and then get up and go get a slurpee or something

Ricky: Norman are you ok

Norman: no ❤️

🎬

Norman: *screams into jar* everything is fine :)

🎬

Gordon: I saw your last report card

Noir: *not even looking up from his phone* congrats you can see

Gordon: oh so you wanna be smart?

Noir: that's why I go to school

🎬

Gordon: hey Junebug how are you today?

Junebug: I swallowed a golf ball!

Gordon: uh- are you ok?

Junebug: I can't poop! :D

🎬

Ricky: hey Lillianna

Lillianna: can you get in the oven and clean it?

Ricky: bye Lillianna

🎬

Junebug: if it weren't illegal I would eat cereal for every meal of the day

Gordon: I have some wonderful news for you

🎬

Gordon: Noir asked everyone at dinner what color Norman's new shirt was. After we all said grey, he turned to him and said, "Now tell them what color you think it is." And Norman just quietly replied, "Dark white."

🎬

Lilianna: Lasagna is just spaghetti flavored cake

Fritz: I will pay you money to never speak again

🎬

George: fellas is it gay to fall in love with another man and spend your life with him

Gordon: that is the literal definition of gay

George: :0

🎬

Gordon: *texting the puppets* At airport! Bye guys! Love ya to the moon and back, you're the best! Bust a nut!

Noir: I'm not sure Gordon knows what that means

Tax: I Physically cannot breathe

🎬

Lilianna: God released me into the wild and now he's hunting me for sport

🎬

Fritz: where can I order a pretty face

George: from your mirror

Tax: WHEN DID EVERYONE IN THIS HELL STUDIO BECOME SMOOTH AF

Lenard: 2023: the year the Neighborhood learned how to flirt

Norman: oh my

🎬

Noir: 1 universe, 9 planets, 7 seas, 7 continents, 809 islands, 204 countries, and I had the unfortunate luck of meeting you

Tax: THERE ARE 8 PLANETS YOU UNCULTURED SWINE

Noir: VIVA LA PLUTO FUCK YOU

Gordon: I'm pretty sure 'viva la Pluto fuck you' is the best sentence I've ever heard

🎬

Craig, Fritz and UF Fritz belong to: @gayfraggle

[lunar-knight84]

RED DRESS

Adult Kyle broflovski x reader summary : it's been years since you last seen kyle and going to your high school reunion may make it a bit awkward then normal

Warning/stuff inside: Fluff, OOC, small angst, a bit of touching without consent (yall he just takes you to dance without asking!and does some other romantic touches without asking ), suggestive flirting, not spell checked or proof read.

Kind of inspired by the song red dress by magic

Disclaimer: this is my first fanfic so please be kind I didn’t have any one to look at it or anything and I think the ending is kind of rush so if you have any tips feel free to share! Also I’m sorry if this is really bad I tired. I hope you enjoy

It's been years and finally it's the night you have been dreading ever since you left your high school to begin with. It's your 10 year highschool reunion and it's going to absolutely suck. You have been dreading the night since your friend victor chaos mentioned it a few nights ago. He was super excited to see his old friend Kenny again but you on the other hand were not so keen on seeing old friends especially the one and only kyle broflovski. He turned your life upside down when you actually started talking to him in junior year of high school. He not only stole your food but he most importantly stole your heart ... .which is why it hurt so terribly when broke up with you on the last day of senior year. You honestly didn't see it coming just like how you cant seem to find anything wearable to this event. ¨cmonnn Y/N we are gonna be so lateeee¨ say your friend Red who you called to come help you with what to wear ¨red give me a moment i think i found what to wear!!!¨ you say excitedly as you come out of your bathroom wearing a beautiful red dress which shows off your body just in the right way to make you look stunning. Red gasp and giggles excitedly as she pulls you in for a hug ¨you look beautiful!¨ you chuckle ̈thanks Red you look absolutely stunning as well! Are you ready to go?¨ you say kind of excited at the thought maybe actually having some fun with red at this event ¨yup!¨ she links arms with you as you both head out to the event. Once you arrive your high school still looks the same as you and red reminisce about all the memories you had here together as you walk into the gym. The gym is packed and you could see a few faces that you recognize as you start to believe that Kyle might not be here. Red waves at you and points to her cousin Craig letting you know she's gonna talk with him for a bit as you find yourself walking around the gym exploring it. Soon you bump into your old friend Victor chaos ¨hey vic!¨ you say as you hug him ¨hey Y/N It's awesome that you came! You look fantastic!!¨ he says in a cheery voice and his eyes soon spot someone else ¨oh look there kenny!¨ he says again in a cheery tone as he points to where kenny is and your about to go p to kenny but that when you see the familiar color of apple red hair that stops you in your tracks ¨what wrong Y/N-Oh i see¨ victor says as he notices kyle ¨well the Y/N you know where to find me if you want some NFTs or if you need something else! Victor says as he walks over to Kenny leaving you in somewhat of a conflicted state. You decide to get some punch to figure a way out of this event without seeming rude as you hear a voice call out ¨HEY YOU IN THE RED DRESS¨ which immediately catches your attention and causes you to spin around and be met with emerald eyes looking at you. You immediately feel heat rise to your cheek as you begin to remember all the memories you had with those precious green eyes as you mumble out ¨hello Kyle¨. Kyle smiles at you ¨hello Y/N…you look beautiful tonight…¨ he says with a charming tone as he continues to scan your body in that beautiful red dress. ¨thank you kyle..so um how have you been…¨ you say nervously as you hope a bit of small talk will get him to leave your side .¨ive been well N/N…what about you?¨ he says as he sips his drink still staring at you. Hearing the nickname he gave you tumble out of his lips makes more heat spill out onto your cheek as you smile nervously ¨i've been good kyle what about yourself?¨ you say as you hope this awkward conversion will end soon ¨i've been good as well N/N…had my mind on someone lately…¨ he said with a charming smile as he winked at you. You look at him with conflicted eyes as you not sure how to feel about his words as you bite your lip in thought but you suddenly feel him get closer to you ¨N/N what are you thinking about~¨ he whispers with a soft smile as if his words were innocent but you could tell by the mischievous glimpse in his eye that it could possibly be anything but innocent. You brush him off as you lean away from him ¨nothing of importance to you kyle… ¨

you say with a small smile unsure of how to proceed from here. Kyle chuckles as you take your hand and pulls you by your back closer to him to dance. This obviously catches you off guard as you're about to push him away as he softly says ¨i'm sorry Y/N…i'm sorry for hurting you…i didn't..¨ he says in a sorrowful tone as it seems he can't get the rest of his words out as he hangs his head a bit low . You're swaying with him now as you realize the whole break up must have been on Kyle's mind if he's apologizing for it now. You sigh as you're not sure whether to forgive this man in front of you or to leave his embrace and try to move onto the night. You stare up at him as you hug him gently ¨it's okay kyle..¨ you say gently unsure of how to comfort him. He immediately cups your cheeks making you look at his emerald eyes as he speaks ¨Y/N its not okay… I heard how badly you were taking the break up and I truly didn't know how it would affect you…I thought that it would be better to break up before we headed to college to prevent more feelings getting hurt…im sorry..forgive me please…¨ his emerald eyes look into your silently pleading for you to forgive him. You think for a moment as you tightly hug him and say ¨it's in the past kyle…i forgive you okay..¨ you cup his cheek as you smile softly as you both hug each other and sway a bit more enjoying this event together . It takes some time until you hear Kyle's voice in your ear as he says ¨you know.. N/N i think i gotta find a way to take this off..¨ He moves his hand lower down your back and grips gently at the fabric of your dress. This causes heat to spread to your cheek as you chuckle a bit but before you could respond he then say ¨i've got a lot of love for you N/N that i should've given you back then..and believe me it's only grown stronger seeing you in this beautiful red dress… …mind if i make it up to you and maybe take you out to dinner?...¨ He makes eye contact with you as he asks this and smiles a bit sheepishly hoping you'll say yes. You smile brightly at his offer and say ¨of course kyle…i would love to go to dinner with you..¨ You hug him again as you feel a warmness fill your heart. While kyle broflovski may sometimes turn your world upside down…it was always worth it…<3

[gib-mir-gift]

making an oc list here cuz i keep forgetting my own fictional people

Julius - manisfestation of depression, anxiety, eating disorders, intrustive thoughts, and just generally everything wrong with me. favourite drawing is of it sitting in a window and waving.

Maximus - julius brother. same routine different font. favourite drawing is of him puppeteering me while singing 'gehenna' by slipknot.

Johannes - the child of krampus. basically krampus jr but a major stoner. favourite drawing is of them smoking while studying a snow globe.

Amsterdam - johannes asshole cat. the soul of their best friend (who was a human named Virgo that died) was moved into his cats body to live on. the cat body got fucked up tho so hes obviously not a normal pet cat. favourite drawing is of his soul moving from his human body to the cat body.

Melodic - think venom meets an alternate from 'the mandela catelogue' (though i created it before i knew what venom was + before tmc came out). way too many teeth, communicates via low hums that sort of mimic human singing. favourite drawing is of it crouching in a door frame.

Brennan Walker - the cringefail loser that melodic loves putting through situations n circumstances n such. think paul matthews from tgwdlm but worse in ways that nmt couldnt even begin to comprehend. favourite drawing is of him lifeless on the floor while melodic looks at him like a kid looking at a bug under a rock.

Flatline - what brennan turns into when melodic finally gets bored. favourite drawing is its existential crisis/joy overload at what its become and the torture from melodic being over.

ZebraSpider - spidersona. deaf trans woman. she can jump over pretty much any building, and her fighting style mimics an aerial silk performance. favourite drawing is of her beating the absolute fuck out of her nemesis.

Mister Formid - zebraspiders nemesis. supernatural ability to control peoples stress levels (can make you feel calm, nervous, euphoric, pure dread, etc etc) just by looking at them. favourite drawing is him getting the absolute fuck beat out of him by zebraspider.

Matthew 'Keys' Köhler - ghostbusters oc. blind in one eye, tattoo sleeve of keys, slut gay autistic enby (they/he) that joined between gb1 and gb2. best friend is winston. faceclaim is ayre gross. favourite drawing is of them sucking face with peter.

Elija Zeddemore - another ghostbusters oc. winstons younger brother, aroace king, plays chess with egon a lot. best friends with janine. faceclaim is corey dorris. favourite drawing is of him unimpressed by winston covered in exploded stay puft marshmallow man.

Umberella - a birman 'cats' oc. best friends with plato and admetus. his human family moved to the area of the junkyard then abandoned him when moving back. he doesnt care cuz he likes the jellicles infinitely more than them. favourite drawing is of him trying to slut it out for skimble during the jellicle ball ('trying' cuz skimble is immune to his flirting).

Nettle - umberellas older sibling. closer to cassandra, alonzo, munkustrap, and demeter but her best friend is bombalurina (who calls him 'nett' which very very conveniently means 'nice'). they spend a lot of time sleeping and sunbathing and literally nothing else

Dugal Jones - pronounced 'doo-gull'. i am cringe but i am free cuz i made this maggotsona to be craigs kid. sampler that also plays bass in their spare time. the most goat/sheep themed lil dude you have ever seen in your life. favourite drawing is of them being taught how to play piano by clown.

Ae'ito - 'avatar' oc. ometicaya hunter. part of tsu'teys close friend group (before tsu'tey died) then became a close friend of mo'at, norm, and max after the clan moved to the mountains. favourite drawing is of her braiding the hair of norms avatar.

Fernweh - my fursona. black, red, yellow, and a very light burgandy coloured sabertooth dog (i have yet to decide the type of dog but their canine features tend to be very german shephard). favourite drawing is of them in a crop top that says "fat men are hot".

i have like 20 other furry ocs that i am entirely too lazy to include here so all youre getting is my fursona lmao

[atlasarcana]

after watching all 6 of the daniel craig james bond films (casino royale, quantum of solace, skyfall, spectre, no time to die) and then watching all 6 of the mission: impossible films (1, 2, 3, ghost protocol, rogue nation, and fallout) i feel like it's necessary to compare and contrast them critically. because this is how i digest my media. 

contains spoilers!

notes about daniel craig’s james bond films (abbreviated hence to DCJB or JB)

they're more artful as a whole. where the action scenes are generally less impressive (it's hard to compete with tom "does his own stunts" cruise), there's still sequences which i found simultaneously very beautiful and very thrilling, which is hard to accomplish IMO

generally better directed. generally better cinematography. generally prettier settings. 

so many men die because they're enemies, but so many women die because they're women. do you know what i mean. do you know what i'm trying to get across here. there's a lot of women characters who are functionally a "bond girl" for only a third of a film because she dies, and it's usually as a consequence of james bond carelessly getting close to them -- which is indeed a thing that the characters and films criticize. unlike in the sean connery films, DC's james bond is frequently doubted, frequently questioned/interrogated about making poor decisions and causing civilian deaths, etc.

i thought this was very interesting on a feminist viewing, because there are women who are highly actionable, who have much greater agency than i was expecting, but they're also still mostly relegated to being The Love Interest, which i feel removes that agency when the romance is not the focus of the film. it's almost as though it suggests that no woman is ever fully immune to the Wiles and Charm of james bond by the end of their adventure. they could protest, sure; they could insult him, and try to get away from him, and try to succeed on their own mission. but there's always a kiss by the very end. interesting

there's exceptions to the previous rule of course. my favorite temporary one-off bond girl (as opposed to the only two long-term bond girls, Vesper and Madeline) is Paloma from No Time To Die, who's just a novice trainee and kicks ass for 20 minutes while being explicit about being uninterested in james bond. she says goodbye and we never see her again. more characters like that, please!

additionally, Eve Moneypenny and Nomi are two female MI6 agents who aren't romantically engaged with bond despite flirting on occasion. there's a lot more mutual respect in those relationships than i was expecting. (it's also a pleasant surprise that they're both black women)

Q is not in danger as often as i need him to be. this is a sentiment i will die with. if james bond gets rebooted and fucking henry cavill plays him or whatever, i'm going to need another twinky Q and i'm going to need him to get sucked into the dark machinations of whatever terrorist cell is fueling the plot of the film and i'm going to need bond to hoist him over one shoulder in an undignifying fireman carry

aesthetically, james bond films are more consistently beautiful in an old-money way, but the mission impossible films are more likely to give you crazy camera stuff to impress your eyes, so i think they're fairly even

notes about the mission impossible films (abbreviated to M:I, the protagonist of whom is named ethan hunt)

unfortunately tom cruise is a pretty good actor. and a terrific stuntsman. and the films only get better with time. and they're quite good. i wanted them to be bad but they're really fucking cool actually

my favorites are the last 3, with Ghost Protocol at the top and Fallout just behind. the sequence where he's hanging off the burj khalifa ????? the first time in a long time i've genuinely clenched with suspense and fear while watching a film. real good.

my personal favorite cast member is simon pegg and i'm glad that at least mission: impossible has the guts to do to simon pegg's character what i want done to Q lmao. the poor guy gets kidnapped and thrown around and exploded and choked out once a movie

the mission impossible films are much, much more feel-good. there's an incredible feeling of companionship and triumph by the end of each one, in contrast to the james bond films, where he's hardly ever working with a team, and when he is, the team is one or two people who may or may not be on-site with him. there's significantly more isolation and angst and manpain in the JB films; they don't really rest on that a lot with ethan hunt.

interestingly: there's almost no fridging in the mission: impossible films. i can think of one (1) instance, but the character was "like [ethan hunt's] little sister" which removes her from the same boat as wife fridging, imo.

and it even goes out of its way to subvert wife fridging in the fourth movie, where the entire time you think his wife is dead, but it turns out that she's alive! and she stays alive, and is still currently alive! and she's happy and thriving without him! and he respects that! how weird that the movie franchise in which women are treated much better is the one lead by tom cruise and not daniel craig lmao????

the characters in the M:I films are almost guaranteed to be more likeable, whether by way of their writing or by the role they occupy in the story. i still really liked plenty of JB characters, but JB characters on the whole are doing less than M:I characters to ingratiate themselves to the audience. there's no character in the james bond franchise where they could show up and i would go "aww right! my man!!" but there's 3-5 of those in the M:I films.

the james bond films are unequivocally sexier, though. the glamour is through the roof. the fancy hotel rooms. the pools. the sleek weapons. the women in silk dresses. every now and then there's a softcore fadeout between james and a hot woman. honestly all you have to do to get me to watch a movie is put a hot lady in a beautiful silk dress in the middle of an action sequence where she's getting dragged around for her safety and i'm in. bonus points if it's another woman dragging her around but we're still some ways off from butch james bond and i'm holding out for hope

conclusion: 

the most recent three M:I films are better action movies than the best three james bond films, but i think the best three james bond films are still better works of art. this puts me at an impasse.

ethan hunt is a more likeable protagonist. james bond, in daniel craig’s films at least, is a more complicated protagonist, and therefore he appeals to me more even if he’s objectively a sack of shit sometimes. however, since there is technically no “final” M:I film, i cannot say that ethan hunt has had as much of a chance to complete a character arc through his run. the DCJB films did end, and it ended with a conclusive and satisfying finish to JB’s character arc, which appeals more to me.

the best bond girl is Paloma from No Time To Die. the best female character is either Nomi from No Time To Die or judy dench’s M from the first three films. the hottest girl is Solange, the one in the peach dress from Casino Royale. 

JB villains are 10000000% better than M:I villains. the antagonist from skyfall, Silva, completely blows every single M:I villain out of the water for me. they generally have more personality, theatrical flair, memorable monologues, etc. there’s a real sexy cat-and-mouse dynamic a lot of the time, which the M:I films sometimes try to do but don’t really understand that the homoeroticism is a necessary part of it lmao

the M:I films are probably more fun to show your friends. the james bond films are fun for exactly one person, and that’s me. they’re all obsessively heterosexual, though, but the M:I films are slightly more progressive and tolerable. makes sense. if the JB films were more feminist, half the audience would be walking out.

but is it queer????

james bonds' films are the only ones that acknowledge the possibility of queerness. the antagonist in skyfall tries to throw bond off his footing by flirting with him, to which bond replies with "what makes you think it's my first time" -- which could either be a calculated bluff or a sincere rebuff. i'm satisfied with either answer, because i'm not personally interested in queering james bond outside of fanfiction lmao. and Q is canonically gay as of No Time To Die, which is unexpected but very nice!

[membermentmania]

August 10th, 7:37-10:19pm

She sent a quick text to Wendy when she finally made it onto her block. Wendy met her at the front door, allowing her to quietly slip inside. They silently went up to Wendy’s room. The second Wendy closed the door behind them, Wendy pulled Tammy into a hug. Tammy collided into Wendy with a quiet ‘oof’ before hesitantly wrapping her arms around her. They didn’t hug each other very often. The only times Wendy was really affectionate with her was when Tammy was seriously injured. It was jarring, but not at all unwelcome. “Are you okay?” 

“Are you?” 

“I’m not sure,” Tammy murmured. 

“I’m not alright,” Wendy responded shakily.

“Talk to me.” She was met with an eerie silence. “Wendy.” 

“What happened last night?” 

“What happened yesterday?” 

Wendy stiffened in her arms. “We told you guys what happened.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“I can’t tell you.” 

“Why?” 

“I’m afraid if we tell anyone we’re just gonna lose them.” It was so quiet. Broken. 

Tammy tightened her arms around Wendy. “You saw something, didn’t you?” Wendy nodded against her. “Something that didn’t make sense,” she tried. 

“What do you know?” 

“They corrupted, didn’t they?” 

Wendy pulled back, looking at her fiercely. “How do you know that?” 

“Red knows. She told me what happens when we corrupt.” 

“When?” 

“Last night. And then I had to hold her down while I purified her.” 

Wendy’s eyes widened. “Please tell me what exactly happened last night.” 

Tammy hesitantly walked over to her bed and took a seat. “It might help fill in some blanks, but it’s a lot.” 

Wendy took a seat next to her. “Okay.” 

Tammy proceeded to tell her about what happened the night prior. In exchange, Wendy offered Tammy exactly what she saw earlier that day. The two were both confused. If Wendy was reccounting correctly, they witnessed Tweek and Craig transforming into angels. But someone had to have seen Craig in the days before that. There was no way he could’ve turned into a mod without anyone even noticing. It didn’t make any sense. 

When Wendy started to cry, Tammy was quick to pull her against her. “Hey, it’s gonna be alright.” 

“Is it?” 

She ran a gentle hand through Wendy’s hair. “We’re gonna figure this out. And then we’ll deal with it.” She combed her fingers through half of Wendy’s hair before sectioning it. 

A shaky laugh bubbled out of Wendy. “What are you doing?” 

“Braiding your hair,” she murmured. 

“Why?”

“Because this is what gal pals are supposed to do and I’m trying to distract you.” 

Wendy breathed out a laugh. “You don’t seem like you’d be good at braiding hair.” 

“I’m probably not. I can barely see what I’m doing.” Wendy leaned into her the tiniest bit more, giving her a better view. Her stomach flipped. “Thanks,” she muttered. 

“Can I braid yours after?” Wendy whispered.

Tammy laughed quietly. “I don’t think I'd look too good with my hair braided.” 

“You always look good.” 

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were flirting with me, Testaburger,” she teased. 

“Shut up, tumor,” she muttered. “Let me do your hair.” 

“But braids look so weird on me,” Tammy protested. 

“Fine. Let me do your roots then.” 

Tammy let out a quiet gasp, feigning offense. “Are you saying my hair is grown out?” 

“Mhm. I have a box of dye here we can use.” 

Tammy laughed. “Really?” 

“I mean, you kinda do suck at doing the back.” 

Tammy fumbled slightly with the hair tie around her wrist and she finished up Wendy’s braid. “That’s why Marj and Bebe always do it,” she muttered. 

“I’ll do it for you.” 

“Okay.” 

Tammy was happy to spend nearly the entire day with Wendy engaging in near mindless distractions from what life had to offer them, despite having not slept at all. Wendy dyed her hair before they crawled into her bed and watched a movie, quietly engaging in random gossip that meant absolutely nothing to either of them. It meant so much to Tammy. She remembered a point when all she really wanted was a best friend like this. It wasn’t perfect, but it didn’t need to be. 

But she also knew they couldn’t just stay in their tiny little bubble they’d managed to create. They needed answers. There had to be something. There was no way they couldn’t fight the storm. There was no way the only thing fate had to offer magical girls was going through a merciless cycle. And if this was it for them, they’d go down kicking, screaming, clawing, and biting. They would take the storm with them. 

It was getting late. She felt like her brain was turning into a fried egg. She looked over and tentatively reached a hand out, brushing it against the side of Wendy’s cheek. Wendy looked at her with a small smile. “What’s up?” she murmured. 

The action caught up with Tammy. She wanted to get her attention, but now Tammy felt like there was a huge spotlight on her. She retracted her hand, trying not to get too caught up in the undeniable butterflies she was feeling. “I gotta bounce,” she said quietly. “I haven’t slept in like…” she took a peek at her phone. “Yeah, like 31 hours.” 

A laugh bubbled out of Wendy. “You could’ve slept here.” 

“I wanted to hang out with you.” 

Wendy playfully rolled her eyes. “Text me when you get home safe, okay?”

“Whatever you say, emo.” 

“Night, concussion-queen.” 

Tammy laughed quietly as she slipped out of her bed. She silently made her way down the stairs and into the night. She took a deep breath as she started walking towards her house. She stepped inside, ignoring her parents yelling and went straight up to her room. After using a purifier, she did what she was determined to do since she’d left Bebe’s house. 

Tammy Warner: I want to talk to you. 

Tammy Warner: In person. 

Dovakien: Where? 

A chill ran down Clyde’s spine when his phone buzzed in rapid succession. He hesitantly picked it up from next to him. He had a feeling he knew exactly what it was. Just another thing to further send everyone spiraling. He didn’t want to look but he had to know. 

Brimmy: Hello, Clyde.

Brimmy: I have been trying to respect that you guys cut contact, despite the fact that that is so completely against the rules, but things are getting dire. If things don’t change soon, your entire group is going to fall. 

Clyde’s stomach churned painfully as fresh tears started to slip out. This was a cruel trick. Mods had to be evil. There had to be a clear bad guy and it couldn’t just be Leslie. 

Clyde Donovan: Fuck you

Clyde Donovan: Not falling for it

Before he could even lock his phone, an answer appeared. 

Brimmy: Clyde, you’re the only person I can trust to not shoot me upon arrival. There are things you guys need to know. Losing Tweek, Craig, and Stan was a major loss. Emotionally, I can’t imagine what you guys are going through, but at this point, you will lose the war. Please let me help you guys. 

Clyde Donovan: You want to help us? 

He was taken aback. This was a trick. This was a lie and Clyde was stupid enough to get his hopes up while he quietly sobbed. The previous messages disappeared as if they were never there. 

Brimmy: It’s not safe to discuss anything on here. 

Brimmy: I’m going to approach you. Please do not try to kill me upon arrival. I truly mean you and your group no harm. 

The second Clyde read them, they disappeared. He locked his phone and curled in on himself. He was probably going to die. Tweek, Craig, and Stan died. Heidi was probably dead. They were all much stronger than him. It didn’t make sense that he was still alive. 

“Clyde.” 

His hands ran up to through his hair as more tears poured out. He was gonna lose it just like Craig did. That was Stan’s voice. They were all gonna die. He was gonna be next. 

“Clyde.” 

He shook his head. “Go away,” he sobbed. 

He let out a scream of pure terror when something grabbed his wrist. Hallucinations weren’t supposed to be able to touch you. He shot upwards into a seated position, eyes widening in horror when he saw Stan holding a purifier to his wrist. “You need to calm down.” 

“STAN?!” 

Stan’s face remained unmoving. Stoic. It reminded him of Craig. But he was gray. Everything about him was black, white, or everything in between. He needed to get a grip. He was obviously losing it. “I’m not…” He frowned slightly. “Right. No. I’m Brimmy.” 

He jerked away like the imposter in front of him was on fire. “WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE HIM?!” 

“Calm down.” 

“NO! YOU STOLE HIS FACE! IS THAT HOW HE-” 

“Clyde, seriously. Chill out. I just look like Stan. I didn’t take his face. This is my face.” 

“NO! NO! YOU CAN’T-” 

He felt like he was going into shock when he registered the hard slap across his face. “You need to breathe,” he said calmly. 

He took a shaky deep breath, looking at Brimmy. He blinked a few times. This was not Stan. There were a few differences. But upon first glance, he was sure that was Stan. “That’s fucking scary,” he breathed out. 

“If I had the ability to change my face, I would’ve,” he muttered. “Sorry for scaring you. I didn’t mean to make you worse.” 

A bitter laugh came from him. “Cut the shit. If you’re here to kill me, just do it.” 

Brimmy looked unimpressed. “Did you not read my messages?” 

“I don’t believe you. It’s a trick. You’re gonna lull me into a false sense of security, because I’m the stupid one, and then you’re gonna kill and me and laugh!” 

Brimmy took a frustrated deep breath. “I am not trying to lull you into anything. You should be freaked out. I chose you because if I chose Kenny or Kyle, they wouldn’t hesitate to kill me. You were my best bet.” 

“Why didn’t you choose one of the girls?” 

“I don’t have contracts with them. I can’t see where they are or communicate with them unless I’m invited in. Also, I’m certain they would probably be more in line with Kenny and Kyle at the moment.” 

“But Bebe loves her mod!” 

“The last time I spoke with Dovakien, he said they were all losing touch. You were quite literally my best, and safest bet.” 

“So you wouldn't have chosen me if there was a better offer?” It was a stupid, very childish, extremely irrelevant question to ask. But now Clyde was just feeling combative.

“I think it’s very clear I would’ve chosen the best option, given the severity of the situation. Frankly, I figured I would be having this talk with Craig.” 

“Well I’m sorry but Craig can’t fucking come to the phone right now!” Clyde yelled, sob cutting through him. He didn’t stop glaring at Brimmy as little hiccups cut him off. 

Brimmy made a face. Clyde vaguely registered it as regret. Guilt, maybe? “I apologize. That was a cruel thing to say. I forget, sometimes.” He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry for your loss. Truly.” Clyde just nodded slowly. “But I need you to get the others together. Everyone. With Tweek and Craig’s deaths, Leslie has written your entire group off as dead. She is no longer listening. You can still take her down. But you guys need information. Information that I have. So I need to speak with all of you.” 

“You’re not going to kill all of us once we’re in the same room?” 

“Kenny would be able to kill me ten times over before I got a hand on any of you.” 

“Okay,” he breathed out. “What do I do?” 

“I need you to call Kenny. Get everyone together but Bebe Stevens. If Marjorine has to be excluded, so be it. But if Bebe Stevens hears part of this conversation, she will fall. I am certain of it.” 

He nodded slowly. A shaky hand picked up his phonee. He kept his eyes on Brimmy as he let muscle memory take over, turning on his microphone access. He glanced over as he swiped up back to his homescreen and clicked on the little shortcut icon. Gentle trills started and he raised the phone to his ear. “Hi, Clyde,” Kenny greeted tiredly.

Clyde’s stomach twisted. He sounded so exhausted. So sad. “I have to tell you something that may be very upsetting,” he said nervously. 

There was a small sigh. “That’s okay. I’ll be okay. You can tell me anything, remember?”

“I’m with Brimmy.” 

A chill ran down his spine when he heard nothing but the keypad on Kenny’s safe. “Where are you?” 

“I’m not gonna tell you if you’re gonna shoot him.” 

“Clyde, I have your location.” There was a pause. “I’m on my way.” 

“Kenny! Slow down.” 

There was a long pause. “What?” 

“Brimmy has information for us that’s really important. He’s not hurting me. He just kinda saved me.” Clyde gave Brimmy a small not in acknowledgement. It just dawned on him that Brimmy actually purified him when he first got here. 

“Okay…” There was a deep breath. “Clyde, what the fuck.” He sounded more frustrated than anything, which Clyde silently took as a win. Kenny wasn’t freaking out. He was just rightfully confused and annoyed. Clyde could work with that. 

“Alright, long story short. We need to have a meeting. Kyle, Wendy, Tam, Marj if possible, and you and me obviously.” 

“Why not Bebe?” 

Clyde looked at Brimmy for help. “You can tell him what I told you.” 

“What did he tell you?” Kenny asked. 

Clyde made a face. “Bebe can’t have access to the specific information he has.” 

“Why?” 

Brimmy just said she’d die. But that wasn’t exactly something Clyde felt like he could just say. He held up his wrist and shot Brimmy a questioning look. Brimmy nodded. “He think’s that’ll push her over the edge. We can’t lose anymore people.” 

Kenny breathed out a sigh. “Let me see what I can do about Marj. No promises though. 

[wordsofgergb]

The Movies 

Craig was very excited to be going to movies with one of his good friend Anna. Craig loves the movies and the whole theatre experience. Anna was a friend for years who Craig was also very attracted to, but would never say anything, but loved seeing Anna. 

Craig goes and picks up Anna for their movie date, they plan on seeing an action movie. Just a good old popcorn flick, but the excitement was just seeing Anna. Craig pulls up and tells Anna he arrived. Craig watches as Anna makes her way to the car and Craig just looks in amazement with how great Anna looks. Wearing black shorts with fishnets and  corset top with a flannel over. Anna enters the car and shares a hug with Craig. 

“Shall we go?” Craig asks

“Yes, let’s go! I’m so excited to see you!” Anna answers. 

The two have small talk on the short ride to the movies. They arrive and start to head towards the theatre. Craig was so enamored with how Anna was looking. 

“Damn I just need to you that you look so good tonight.” Craig says

“Thank you, I’m glad you think so..” Anna responds as her face starts to turn red.

Craig opens the door as he lets Anna walk through and he couldn’t help but to check her out and great her ass looked in those shorts. 

“Well your ass looks good in those shorts..” Craig’s says cheekily 

“Oh thank you, maybe you’ll get to touch it if you’re lucky.” Anna responds while blushing

The two grab their tickets, grab snacks and make their way to their theatre and seats. They both enter the theatre and was surprised with it being empty.

“Guess we can sit anywhere!” Anna lets out.

“I guess we could! You pick” Craig responds

With five minutes before the movie starting, they decided with a middle row and middle of the theatre. 

The two casually talk and wait for the movie to start. Lightly flirting. The lights suddenly go dark and the movie starts. The two would snack on popcorn and soda. Craig would hold the popcorn on his lap and Anna would grab a handful ever so often. 

“Hey do you want anymore?” Craig asks

“Oh no thank you, I’m good!” Anna responds.

Craig takes the popcorn and puts it in the next seat. 

Fifteen minutes passed while watching the movie. 

Craig notices that Anna started to remove her flannel and reveal her black corset with her big double D tits.

Craig lets out a sight and a “fuck” under his breath. 

A few moments have passed and then Craig notices Anna’s hand moving over to him and his lap. Anna’s hand would start to rub and grab at Craig’s cock. 

“Oh you know the popcorn isn’t there..” Craig says while taking a deep breath. 

“Oh I know, maybe I want a different snack” Anna whispered 

Craig looks over to Anna to make sure this is what she wanted. Their eyes locked and both smile. 

Craig looks at Anna and starts to kiss her as she continues to rub his cock through his shorts. Craig starts to grab and squeeze Anna’s tits as they continue to kiss. 

Craig pulls away and says “you’re so hot…fuck” out of breath. 

Anna smiles and stands up in front of Craig.

Anna starts to lower her corset to show your beautiful tits. 

“Oh fuck” Craig lets out 

Anna then lower to her knees. Starts to unbuckle Craig’s belt and undo the button in his shorts. Anna pulls down his shorts and starts to grab and rub Craig’s cock through his boxers as she starts to kiss Craig’s cock through his boxers. 

“Fuck..please suck it.” Craig lets out. 

Anna looks up with her eyes and slowly removes Craig’s boxers. 

Craig already hard from Anna. 

“Oh what a nice cock” Anna lets out before starting to put her mouth over the tip of Craig’s cock. 

Anna starts to suck on the tip of Craig’s cock and swirling her tongue on the tip and watching how sensitive it is to Craig. Anna takes Craig’s cock and starts to suck and bob her head up and down taking Craig’s cock fully in her mouth. Anna continues to suck, slurp and stroke Craig’s throbbing cock. 

“God damn your mouth feels so good on my cock..you’re doing such a good job for me..” Craig lets out

Anna continues to suck on Craig’s cock. 

“Fuck baby it feels soo good, I’m gonna cum”

Anna’s eyes look up and continued to suck. 

Craig starts to squirm a little as he’s about to explode in Anna’s mouth. Losing control with how good Anna’s mouth felt on his cock. Craig couldn’t hold it any longer as he explodes in Anna’s mouth. 

Anna starts to stand up and Craig stands with her and Craig stands behind her and says “now it’s my turn” 

Anna looks back and smiles.

Craig starts to kiss on her neck and feeling on her hips before starts to run up to grab on her tits. Squeezing her beautiful tits and pinching her nipples. 

Craig whispers “are you going to be my good girl?”

Anna moans back “…yes..anything for you..” 

Craig starts to make his hands back to her hips and start to undo the buttons to her shorts. 

Craig starts to slowly remove Anna’s shorts to reveal her black lacy panties in her fishnets. 

Craig would smack Anna’s ass as he demands “be a good girl and go bend over the recliner”

Anna obliges. 

Craig then walks up to the recliner and presses the button to recline the seat. 

There was Anna at the mercy of Craig and waiting for his next move. 

Craig would walk up behind Anna and start to spank her ass. Anna would let out a moan with each spank. 

“Oh you’re doing such a good job for me like a good girl” Craig says.

Anna looks back and smiles.

Craig then goes and rips her fishnets to be able to get easier access to her pantries. Craig would then slide her panties to the side as he would get on his knees and start to eat Anna’s needy wet pussy from the back.

Craig just sticking his tongue in Anna’s pussy. Giving long licks and little flicks on his tongue on her wet pussy.  

“You taste so good” moans out Craig. 

Craig continues to eat Anna’s needy pussy. 

Craig would also use is fingers too to help. 

Anna couldn’t help but to moan out with how good it feels. 

As Craig fingers her wet pussy Anna starts to moan out “I’m gonna cum..don’t stop” 

Craig continues with each moan Anna is giving out.

Anna starts to cum on his fingers.

“I can’t hold back any longer..” Anna moans out.

Craig then removes his fingers and starts to lick again as Anna starts to cum. 

Anna legs shaking and out of breath says “wow that felt too good” 

“We’re not done yet…” Craig responds.

Craig then stands and puts his fingers he just fingered Anna with in her mouth. 

“You deserve a taste of how good you taste”  Craig says.

“…you need to fuck me” Anna let’s out

Craig then smacks her ass before taking the tip of his cock and rubbing it over her pussy lips and not yet inserting his cock in her needy pussy. 

“How badly do you want my cock?” Craig asks

“…so badly..please…please…please fuck me” Anna let’s put moaning

“Since you used your manners…” Craig responds.

Craig then takes his cock and slips in it with ease into Anna’s wet needy pussy and starts to thrust into her.

Watching Anna’s ass jiggle as he would thrust and Anna looking back smiling and moaning from how good he feels in her. 

Craig would continue to thrust. 

“A little faster please daddy” Anna lets out

Craig responds “using your manners again…” Craig then starts to thrust faster and harder.

“Fuck baby your pussy feels so good.” Craig let’s out while thrusting 

“Just like that baby, you’re doing such a good job” Craig says again as he’s thrusting

“Cum in me” let’s out Anna with barely any breath 

Craig just continues to thrust as he feels Anna’s throbbing pussy on his throbbing cock.

“Oh this pussy is mine and I’m gonna cum” Craig growls out

“This pussy is yours, please cum in me..” Anna moans with deep breaths.

Craig continues to thrust as he couldn’t control it any longer and knew he was about to explode in Anna’s needy throbbing pussy. 

“…fuuuck” Craig moans as he explodes in Anna’s pussy and starts to slowly thrust. 

“WOW that was something..” Craig says

“You were great” let’s out Anna as she starts to get dressed.

Craig follows and starts to get dressed as well. 

They both excuse themselves to clean up in the bathroom.

Craig just in the bathroom think of how much he enjoys the movies. 

[damnkenn]

- rom-antics -

a comic about drunk crenny (well, drunk kenny) that was requested by @4awny

dialogue isn't my strong suit so i hope this turned out okay 😅

a few headcanons of mine actually show up in this comic!

kenny is a flirtatious and talkative drunk

he likes to call people by the long versions of their name (ex. stanley and craigory)(even though that isn't really craig's name)

craig and kenny call each other by their last names

craig's ears turn red when he blushes

kenny's face gets flushed and he's prone to hiccups when he drinks

craig sucks at flirting

4awny has an amazing fic on ao3 btw that i highly recommend checking out if anyone hasn't already!

[dawnthefox24]

South park headcannons

Okay theses are my small headcannons for each south park kids.

Starting off with Craigs gang

Tweek

Whenever Tweek gets anxious he listens to music but heavy metal or AC/DC whatever is loud.

He has narcolepsy.

He'll fall asleep at randomly (he fell asleep during gym class causing everyone to panic thinking he fainted )

He's slowly detoxing from his parents coffee (meth)

Stripe#4 is his therapy animal

He's a bit accident prone mostly holding sharp kitchen utensils (ex. Knives)

He loves baking muffins and cupcakes. He friends love his baking.

He's secretly a Book worm

Has a sweet tooth for muffins mainly blueberry or lemon poppy seed.

He fell in love with boxing so he upgraded to Kick boxing 

Whenever there's a test Tweek would accidently (purposely) write his name down as Tweek Tucker not Tweek Tweak

Has a rock collection (Only Craig knows about it)

Tweek has freckles and is self-concious about it.(Craig kisses them saying their beautiful)

He's learning spanish to surprise Craig.

Has a few pride pins on his backpack.

Used to have a pet cockatoo named Vinyl.

Might get another cockatoo in the future.(might try to convert craig to become a bird person)

Craig

Craig is mix purvian. His mother is purvian and imagrearted to south park to start a new life.

He speaks spanish when frustrated or when the slightest inconvence happens.

Whenever he isn't frustrated he'll flirt with Tweek calling him sweet names in Spanish.

He's hates his braces but Tweek loves it when he smiles (he only smiles around Tweek)

His braces color are red.

He's allergic to dogs but only gets rashes it doesn't stop him from petting them

He loves to talk about space 24/7 (mostly to tweek since he listens )

From tweak bros he orders hot chocolate that Tweek makes,whatever his boyfriend makes it delicious.

He loves listening too Tweek talk

He has OCD

He plays the viola/violin in his spare time and will do a duet with Tweek

He is nearsighted and refuses to wears glasses so he wears contacts

He has dyslexia and doesn't want anyone to find out since its very embrassing.

Whenever hes bored he'll sneak over to Tweek house just to hang out.

He cares deeply for Clyde even though he may not show it (Clyde is like a brother too him)

He enjoys doing laundry and cleaning since its fun to him.

He lets his younger sister Tricia paint his nails for fun.(mostly Turquoise )

He has a pride flag in his room.

Hes loves that his boyfriend can make aldajores which is quiet better than how his mom makes it(which are his favorite pastry )

Clyde

Whenever Clyde cries he gets dehydrated and it sucks because he hates asking for water after a crying.

He's a bit self-concious about himself even though Token or Tweek cheer him up.

He loves to eat Tweek's pastries since it reminds him of his mom cooking.

He thinks that Craig is the coolest person ever.

His favorite pastries are danish pastry,Blueberry muffins, and Lemon curd (he gave Tweek his mothers pastry cook book so he can bake them since his dad sucks at baking)

He also has dyslexia but isnt afraid to show it.

He had adhd since he zones out from time to time.

He hates math.

He has pollen allergies which causes him to sneeze uncontrollably.

He called Tweek mom once and got embrassed. (Tweek didn't mind but he comforts Clyde)

He's Stripe baby sitter, and hes a damn well good baby sitter (much to craig dismay )

He's a bit chubby due to the pastries but is still in good health.

He's a bit sleep deprived but will take a few quick naps during lunch.

He speaks Dutch when under stressful situations.

He despise mothers day and just mops in his room.

He's left handed

He dislikes being babied even though its for his own good.

He studies at tweak bros along with Token due to how quiet it is.

Is pansexual and is a demi boy

Has a crush on a kid named Thomas (fLe Petit Tourette)

Token

Is the mom friend of the group along side Tweek

He's ambidextrous and loves to fuck around with Clyde messing with him as he switches his hands when writing

He's a guilty plessure of eatting Tweeks baking mostly carrot oat muffins.

He know Tweek accident prone in the kitchen so he made him gloves so he won't cut him/slip when he cutting food.

He loves to study ay Tweak Bros with Clyde but he mostly tutors Clyde there.

He remembers everyone birthdays

He's allergic to guinea pigs it doesn't matter that he wants to play with stripe (he gets hives )

He gets headaches easily when people yell

He hates the fact he can play bass which pisses him off

He's has Arcophobia.

He takes martial arts and self defense classes in his spare time.

He's the voice of reason even though no body listens to him.

He likes to spend time with Kyle whenever Clyde isn't available for turoring/study sessions.

Hes 100% jealous of Tweeks baking skills but is to embrassed to ask him how to bake.

He loves listening to the 80s and 90s music.

He cares alot for Clyde and it shows.

He usually gets caught in Clyde's shenanigans due to his friends puppy eyes(Clyde's puppy eyes are his weakness)

Jimmy

Loves comedy like he really loves comedy and he knows his jokes are terrible

He knows Nathan hates him but doesn't understand why

He actually plays the flute and lute in his spare time(he grown to love it after the whole SOT)

Has a pet Rat named whiskers

Loves listening to bo burnham

He still spends time with Timmy and tends to be his translator. He doesn't mind one bit.

Out of all tweek pastries dish,his favorite is the chocolate cake and regular old fashion cheesecake.

He's an amazing writer but is to embrassed show his stories (but mostly he knows Cartman would plagiarize his work)

Is ambidextrous like Token but prefers to use his left hand

He hates how some adults treat him like fragile glass and that he could break at any point.

He has braces where are silver.

He hates his stutter once in awhile bevause of words he can't pronounce or the fact there too long for him to say.

He loves listening to music mostly fan-game music or sometimes just 70s 90s music when he's feeling the mood.

He gives dating advice to Craig,on where to take Tweek which causes the less stress.

He also has a Shellfish allergy (he mostly hives )

He finds that Clyde is the baby of the group and needs to be protected (not saying that he cries alot )

He plays horror games in his spare and will invite his friends over to watch him play much to their dismay.

He watches TikTok

[midnight-echoes]

Incorrect Quotes: Freedom Pals Edition

It's just the Freedom Pals from TFBW this time. Yes, I am including New Kid/Buttlord/Douchebag and Mint-Berry Crunch. ...Spoilers. I think.

Capt. Diabetes: *eating a cinnamon roll* Mosquito: Cannibalism. Capt. Diabetes: *confused chewing noises*

Mysterion: Bro, I had a dream we fucked. Prof. Chaos: Bro, relax it was just a dream. Mysterion: Huh, gay, I wouldn’t fuck you. Prof. Chaos: You wouldn’t? Mysterion: I mean, unless you want to-

The Coon: I printed up a bunch of fake safety inspection certificates. Go slap one on anything that looks like a lawsuit. Dr. Timothy: Coon, is that legal? The Coon: When the cops aren’t around, anything’s legal!

New Kid: I tried to write ‘I'm a functional adult’ but my phone changed it to ‘fictional adult’ and i feel like that’s more accurate.

Dr. Timothy: When I said bring me something back from the beach I meant like a conch shell! New Kid: *Struggling to hold a seagull* Fucking say that next time!

Mosquito: Here’s the cold medicine you asked for. Mosquito: *dumps 3 shopping bags of wine on the table* Call Girl: ...Thanks.

Mysterion: You're smiling. What happened? The Coon: What? Can't I smile just because I feel like it? Dr. Timothy: The New Kid tripped and fell down the stairs today.

The Coon: Where's Human Kite? Mysterion: Don't worry, I'll find him. Mysterion, shouting: Toolshed sucks! Human Kite, distantly: Toolshed is the best person ever! Mysterion: Found him.

Toolshed: Are we fighting or flirting? Human Kite: I'm pinning you against a wall with my hand around your neck- Toolshed: Your point?

Call Girl: I keep a picture of all of us in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties, I take it out and stare at the picture. Freedom Pals: Awwww- Call Girl: And I tell myself "If I can deal with these idiots, then I can deal with anything." Freedom Pals: Oh.

Mint-Berry Crunch: Wait a minute, how did this happen? We're smarter than this! New Kid: Apparently, we're not.

Mint-Berry Crunch: It’s time to turn this into a real business. Prof. Chaos: What do you mean? Like, carry a briefcase, and wear a tie, and pay taxes? Mosquito: Wait, have you not been paying your taxes? New Kid: I handle our accounting.

New Kid: I dare you to kiss the next person who walks into this room. Mosquito: Screw that, I’m not kissing any of you. *Capt. Diabetes walks in* Mosquito: Fine, I’ll do it. Rules are rules you know.

Tupperware: I know we’re not exactly friends, but- Toolshed: What do you want? Tupperware: I've been stuck with Super Craig for 2 weeks and he's been drinking all the soy sauce. Tupperware: Help.

Call Girl: We've got to find a way to cut down our expenses. What can we live without? Prof. Chaos: The Coon, probably.

The Coon: Did you miss me while I was gone? FastPass: You were gone?

Toolshed: Look, I’m glad everyone’s on the same page. Toolshed: But it’s the last page in a book titled “we’re all going to die”. Human Kite: That’s not even clever.

Super Craig: Mosquito has no survival skills, his need to win has replaced him. Capt. Diabetes: That can't be true! Super Craig: Watch this. Super Craig: Hey Mosquito, race you to the bottom of the stairs! Mosquito: *Throws himself out a window*

Toolshed, hungover: Please tell me I'm imagining that I claimed I was king of the ducks. Tupperware: I would, but then I would be lying to the King of All Ducks.

Mosquito, when Tupperware walks in: Oh, hey, I'm just making pizza. Mosquito: *accidentally smacks FastPass in the face with the baking sheet*

Capt. Diabetes: I give up. I am so tired. Dr. Timothy: Get the emergency supply! Tupperware: *carries Mosquito and places him in front of Capt. Diabetes* Mosquito: *smiles* Capt. Diabetes: AND I AM BACK BABY, LET’S GOOO

*Super Craig and Wonder Tweek are in Paris* Super Craig: I'm...moved. I...I don't know what it is I'm feeling right now. I feel...destiny? Wonder Tweek: But... Super Craig: I don't know what it is. I feel like... I just never thought I'd see it with my own two eyes. And here it is. It's just there. It's right in front of me, and... Wonder Tweek: This is what you wanted to see? The bridge from Inception? Super Craig: Yeah. Wonder Tweek: But the Eiffel Tower is behind us, babe. Super Craig: Yeah, but this is the bridge FROM INCEPTION. Wonder Tweek: Okay, alright.

[agentdilf]

shoot i meant bunny not kenny lol sorry

lol!!!! ofc!!! i love bunny <3 Romantic Bunny (Kenny x Butters) headcanons!!!! cw: shitty parents, cigarettes, abuse, sex jokes. ♡ Butters and Kenny are one of the most stable relationships in my opinion!!! ♡ They often sneak out to watch fireflies, and the sunrise. ♡ both of their houses SUCK so uhm, yeah they're often each other's escapes. ♡ sh i didn't tell you this but kenny is a sucker for being the little spoon, since Butters is taller AND a lil chubbier!!! ♡ They're not very open with the others about their relationship, but the two often secretly hold hands under the table. ♡ Only people who know are Kyle, Stan, Craig and Tweek (they went to them for advice for coming out) ♡ (((didn't go well, was awkward silence since, you know.))) ♡ Kenny smokes, Butters watches. ♡ Kenny often calls Butters Leo, because <33333 ♡ some nicknames i think they'd call each other Kenny to Butters: Leo babe baby sweetheart bunny (seriously, genuinely think he'd call him that--) Butters to Kenny: bub honey buddy my love ♡ super sweet talks, they're open with each other when they're upset ♡ only thing i'd see going wrong is their parents finding out or butters getting jealous when kenny flirts with others. ahhhhhh i hope you enjoy!!!! sorry if they suck lolol

[kazbrekkerscrutches]

John Murphy - Runaway

Warnings: Mention of blood, crazy!Jaha, panic attacks, claustrophobia, injuries, slight mention of depress!on and su!c!cal intentions

Words: 1.7k

“Tell me, which type of crazy isn’t enough for you?” I screamed at the delusional Jaha.

“Your promised land sucks!” John replied to Jaha.

Jaha may not have been the best chancellor on the Ark, but the least he could’ve done is being human. He threw Craig at the beast for bait, and now he expects us to follow his ass into the middle of nowhere? Hell no.

John was laying on the shore, holding his bleeding arm tight against him. I kept my gaze towards the flying thing in the sky. My gaze finally changed back to the poor teen laying by my side. I walked toward him, lowered myself to the ground and placed my hand on his, trying to get him to face me. As I did, he flinched at my touch. He looked at me as if he had never before; his blue eyes shone brighter than ever, his dry and dirty skin, plastered with blood.

I slowly took back his hand and took his arm. I looked into his eyes, making sure I didn’t give him more pain than he already was in. Watching him, being in pain, killed me. I know he; John Murphy wasn’t the kindest person on Earth, but he was still human.

[Flashback]

John Murphy.

We met on the Ark, in class, like normal teenagers would. When we had chemistry class, he would always pass me notes. He would write me a cheesy chemistry related pick-up line like «Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you're CuTe». It was a habit of him to flirt with girls all the time, but I was never the one to judge him. I was the shy, private girl that you would hang out in the cafeteria, because you’d need my notes for class. John was the first one to see through that shy image.

Once, I had forgotten my homework in study group, and he was kind enough to give it to me. He knocked on my station door while I was practicing my self defense skills, I opened up the door, looking rough and sweaty, he looked at me with his stupid smirk on his face.

“What do you want?” Looking at him, out of breath.

“Someone’s looking hot.” As he gave me his signature smug and charming effect.

“Thanks, Murphy. Can I help you with something?” He looked at me up and down, as I placed two fingers under his chin, tilting it up.

“You forgot your homework in class, so I wanted to give it to you.” He handed it to me, achieving an honest smile from him.

“Thank you, it’s very kind of you.” I responded, returning him his smile.

“I’ll see you then, Y/N.” “Yeah, see ya.” As we finished our conversation, I closed the door behind me, hiding the blush from my cheeks.

I held onto the door for few seconds, smiling widely.

“How is he so cute?” I thought to myself.

His wincing caught me awake.

“Sorry.” I wrapped the piece of cloth tight around his forearm. I offered him my hand, helping him up on his feet.

As he took my hand, I placed his arm around my shoulder, helping him get enough support.

I snapped my head toward John, but he was looking at something else. I carefully looked where his eyes were and found what he might’ve been staring at. A solar panel? Again?

He walked closer to it and I followed, holding him. I bent down and brushed a few leaves from it. It was in fact an intact solar panel. Just like the ones we saw in the dead zone.

We were both confused but realised that crazy Jaha might’ve been right. As Emori told John; “Go North, follow the light”, she might have given us a major clue to this whole trip.

“Do you hear that?” John asked, walking slowly through the woods.

“Hear what?”

He gave me a sign to follow him where he heard the noise. The noise, that I now heard, became clearer; it sounded like music. On the Ark and especially not on the ground, we didn’t have music except for random rhythms tapped on buckets. We saw a metallic door with sounds of the muffled music. John looked at me, the door and tried to force it open.

“John, it’s not gonna work.” I murmured loud enough for him to hear.

To my surprise, the door opened.

“Ye of little faith, smartass.” He dramatically spat at me. My eyes rolled far enough to the back of my head as he walked through the door.

The place was dark, but as I observed, the lights smoothly turned on. We both looked at each other, wondering what the hell was going on. John leaded the way, walking down the dark stairs, that led into an underground bunker. The place was warm and clean. It looked just like I imagined when I was a kid.

John practically ran towards the food and opened packets of dried food. He threw one at me, laughing in relief. I did the same, turned around and saw a remote. I clicked on one of the buttons, that opened a video. The music stopped and a man appeared on the flat screen. John took a seat from behind. There was a man, who talked about an A.L.I.E person. After a few minutes, he shot himself. We both stopped breathing, and heard the door close.

“No, no” John ran up the stairs, banged on the doors a few times. “We’re stuck here.”

He got down, walked right by me, and started taking heavy things to take down the door.

“John, stop. You’re gonna hurt yourself. Stop!” I screamed at him from afar.

After a few minutes, he stopped. I watched him slide down on the wall. As much as he acted tough guy around everyone, I knew he got claustrophobic.

[Flashback]

“I’m not letting you go into Skybox alone, okay?” I almost screamed at him, running away from the fire.

Both of us had reasons to hate Jaha; he had floated both of our parents for trying to save their kids. He deserved to feel the pain that we felt. We had both started a fire, in Jaha’s office, right before our curfew; some guard was somehow still awake and was now following us.

He tried to make me go away, so that he would take the blame, but I couldn’t. He was my friend and I’d be better in a cell; with the only family I have left. We turned and were now stuck into a dead end.

“Raise your hands, both of you.” We turned around and looked at the guard. We both got thrown in a cell.

We were in that cell for about a week, they didn’t open the door, just food and water. A day before the guards came, John had a panic attack. He started shaking, crying, and overthinking. After being locked up for so long, ideas started to pop up in his brain.

“John, you, okay?” I asked as he stood up, pacing nervously. He shook his head and tried to breathe.

“Huh, I really don’t like small spaces.” He responded, taking his head in his arms. I sat up, walking closer to him. I know you shouldn’t touch people when they’re having an attack, so I didn’t.

“Deep breaths, okay? Hey, look at me” He snapped his head. “In, and out. Good, one more. In, and out.” He took deep, but shaky breaths. “Do you want me to take your hand, or something?” I proposed him, softly. He nodded, slid down the wall. I reached down besides him and gently took his hand in mine.

The beginning of something more than a friendship.

“John, come down.” He stood up and walked back down the stairs. “We’re gonna get out of here.”

“And how do you know that, huh? How do you expect us to find a way out in this dead end?” He rolled at me, tears forming in his eyes. His breathing accelerated, taking his head in his hand. He kept mumbling a sentence; In, and out.

I used to help him breathe, on the Ark, whenever he was in shock. He sat besides me, keeping his eyes closed. I walked closer to him, crouching to his level. I slowly reached out for his hands, and took them in mine.

I was the only one who could touch him, and with that, he would be soft.

I looked into his furrowed expression, rubbing my thumb on his hand. “In, and out, John. It’ll be okay, we’re smart. You’re smart, so for now, let’s just be in the moment.” He raised his eyes, seeing the pain that has been bottling up for a while.

“Why do you like me?”

“Who says I like you?” I answered, seeing a glimpse of hope in his eyes.

“Come on, Y/N. I’m not that stupid. I’ve seen the way your cheeks blush whenever I’m near you. How you’re the only one who has ever believed in me, in my entire godamn life. I’ve also seen how the way you look at me; like I’m the most important person in your life.”

“John, after my parents got floated, I had no one. In class, I would study my ass off only to distract me of what was really happening. I was really close to giving up, but one day, you came up to me, and that was the first time that I didn’t want to give up on life. You gave me hope, John. And, you kept talking to me, like you knew I was in a bad state, thank you for that. And, yes. I do really like you, John. For all of the good that is in you.” I softly spoke to him, the words aching in my dry throat.

A tear escaped his eye, with a smile growing on his face. I wiped his tear, and placed my hand on his cheek. He leaned closer and placed a soft, yet passionate kiss on my lips. Even though we were covered in blood, dust, and sand; he still had his signature smell. He smelled like berries and warmth. He made me look at him, tilting his head down to reach mine.

“I’m glad you’re still here, love.” It makes me smile; I’ve never cracked an honest smile since we came down here. He placed a soft kiss on my nose.

“I like you too.”