#crazy ukranian kid

[sulfies]

can you spill more abt that self insert of yours? 👁️👁️

Oh boy oh boy can I? (big yapping incoming) (typo and grammar massaccare of 2024)

He is a self insert OC Assassin from the Ottoman brotherhood (bc Im Turkish) and he is 23 (bc I am)

not a secret mentor or anything lol I was just joking in the first post making a mary sue.

I imagine he is similar or one above than whatever Yusuf’s rank is (I have yet to play Revelations :,p ) tho I do not know what time he should be in, Realistically if no time travel happened he would be in same time as Yusuf but I dont want Gilf Ezio (sorry) but if its Ezio, Alt and Desmon togather timeline probobly he is in around AC2 Brotherhood time. (maybe he came by Italy to do a mission and dropped by the hideout)

He is ethnically Balkan or/and Greek (bc I am) which probobly means he was taken to Constantinople as a teen or kid to eighter be sent to Jenniserrie training or the male-harem.

Small history lesson:

- Devşirme was the name of the practice where Ottoman empire basically enslaved young Greek,Balkan,Ukranian,etc etc boys and inserted them into an Elite military (Janniserries) even the Sultans themselves were scared of bc they were known to start coups and kill Sultans(they got a salary and are socially above the commonfolk but… military slaves non the less)

-Male-harems existed, again Balkan, Romanian, Slavic and greek etc people were often the main people in the harems (fun fact nearly no Sultan is Turkish due to this lmao they are all mixed), once again their status were above the common folk and they were well taken care of (the older males could even become gov officals after) but slavery non the less.

Idk if I want him to escape the harem or Jenniserrie for his edgy backgrund but maybe he did few years of training, cought the eye of the Sultan and escaped the moment someone was like “you have been promoted to an elite employeeee, u won harem lotterry” . Probobly wandered the streets a bit, got into hella fights till an Assassin picked him up escaping a group of soliders. Maybe it was an older dude who saw him when they were both in training

He is basically based off my own ethnicity and its context to the time and sociatal goings of that era lol (which was hella gay… very gay… too gay almost)

He probobly has some traditional slavic leg,hand and arm tattoos (bc I have em but also) mostly bc around those times (nearly always women) used to tattoo themselves in those motifs to remember their christian roots and their culture (that Ottoman tried to erease) and also to make themselves less appealing to Ottoman Harem/ Devşirme recuiters :,D

For his name, Maybe to be on the nose… Adem? (Turkish ver of Adam) so he is tied to the apples in a fun way? Or Poyraz (means a northern wind) since the meaning is similar to my own name?

He doesnt grow much facial hair (bc I am also stuck w a weak beard) but he refuses to get rid of it no matter how much others tease him bc he is like “I aint getting courted by random crazy men ew” (I dont irl also bc I desperetly believe it looks good…I refuse to open my eyes)

History lesson 2:

-facial hair was important in Ottoman times, It LİTTERALLY determined your gender and how you were approached.

-Socially and in Litriture Ottoman almost had 3 gender roles; Men, Boys (Oğlan) and Women. Once a man grew a beard he would “transition” from being a boy.

-Romantically having a beard versus not determined if you were to be courted or court. Bearded man were called “Lovers” while NON-bearded were called “Beloveds” (yes more often the boys were underage :/ for the sake of history lesson lets…. try to ignore that like ancient greeks)

there is many gay ass poems ^

He got all the mentall illness coctails that I got bc why not make it worse fr him. I imagine him sarcastic and catty, Claudia prob loves taking him to shop around bc he always got something to fckn say about everyone. Big gossipper. Hides the fact that he hates being as short as he is very well (im like… 165? 5’5-4?). If in Yusuf time, nearly BFFS (if im not inserting myself into the throuple (bc Its my self insert and I CAN BE AS CRINGY AS I WANT) he would end up w Yusuf)

Him about others:

Ezio: will never stop calling him de la la la,likes him a lot, loves pranking and teasing him. Enjoys fake flirting with him till he takes it so far Ezio has to throw in the towel. Probobly teached him how to Oil wrestle and Ezio was like “Are you sure this is a real sport…” and all he did was sigh and say “I am so glad it actually is” as he admired Oiled up Ezio

Altaïr: loves mocking whatever big words he uses all the time. calls him “Big boss” just to see his eye twitch with cringe. Knows he can get away with shit if he acts stupid enough. Altair knows he is not that stupid but is impressed(deragotory, fondly) how low he is willing to go.

Desmond: clearly his favorite (im biased sue me) obvious by how much softer he acts around Des. Ezİo falls he laughs, Des falls “My leige, hop on my back”. Is facinated by his piercings and begs him to help him get some. Desmond desperetly wishes he could invent some ADHD Meds for him. Des also finds him strangely comforting, can imagine himself back in 2010s almost…

————-

Idk im not rlly a self insert person so thinking about him was hard and I also dont wanna make my oc “the main character” in this au so I dont really wanna give him any secret powers or anything.

Maybe some edgy gnarly scars on his back from a past mission where he came in contact with an apple? Maybe when he touched the apple he was supplied that canonly he doesnt exist and he is just a fan created being and has a whole issue about it? I can imagine a sad scene of him crying like “You dont understand, You exist! even as some damn video game you do and people know you they cannot deny you exist. ME? all I am is some weirdos self writing, not even enough to be in canon. Does anything I do matter?” lololol

Thats all I got for him for now lol but feel free to ask more:p Im also open to ideas for him.

sorry for the yapping and history lesson… here is some more fun facts:

-Oğlancılık (male prostitution) was pretty respected they were seen like any other tradesperson in some parts

-a Paşa tried to ban under 30 males from being washers in Turkish Hamams due to them also being sex workers and litterally everyone was so mad he got replaced

-dancers in coffeehouses wore the same fit no matter the gender so boys and girls looked the same (once again they were also sex workers)

-one time a jewish boy caused such a big fight between janniserries the sultan had to threathen to kill 40 man from each side if they didnt stop

-Draculas are real people and RADU the beutyfull (his OFFİCİAL NAME) had a full on recorded relationship with Sultan Mehmet2 :p

- Gay shit was legalized in 1853 mostly bc they never rlly punished it….

for the girlies

-in harems the girls couldnt order things like cucumbers or carrots to their rooms w out it being cut up :p

[thatoneao3author]

fic excerpt - bright as the stars

here’s another excerpt from chapter one of my au, bright as the stars. ian’s an actor who hosts a space-themed kids show called Interstellar Ian 

this scene shows svetlana’s role in this universe as ian’s hair stylist/makeup artist and establishes mickey’s existence in this universe. this is like, the end of a larger scene, but I don’t wanna give you guys too much. enjoy! 

Svetlana seemed entirely unshocked when words bubbled out of the ginger’s mouth as if he couldn’t stop them, as if he couldn’t possibly stay quiet and let the lady do her job. 

That’s something that came with spending your teenage years acting: you get used to always talking. 

“How was your weekend?” Ian questioned. Lana thought about it before answering a question he didn’t actually ask, 

“They hired a new boy to the set.” she said as if she were just remembering, “I was packing up my supplies on Friday and suddenly, this cigarette-smoking ukrainian man is walking around in blue suit much less glamorous than yours. He was rude. I didn’t like him.” 

Ian furrowed his eyebrows. He was usually informed when they casted someone new, but it sounded like this guy wasn’t an actor anyways. 

“Oh! It’s the new electrician.” The actor realized after a moment, “I heard a spotlight operator say that something wasn’t working right through last week. And they just finally decided to hire someone long-term for the job.” 

Ian remembered how whenever there were technical difficulties on set, the tech crew worked to fix it and if they couldn’t, they called whatever number they could find on local advertisements. It was always a different person that came in, unfamiliar with the wires and lights and sets of the warehouse and always one step in the wrong direction away from knocking over thousands of dollars worth of equipment. 

So, by the beginning of season eight, they finally worked out a contract with an on-call electrician that would be around to help with whatever issues arose. 

And apparently, said electrician was a rude Ukranian with a nicotine addiction. 

 “He was handsome, though. Tattoos, dark hair…your type of boy, I’m sure.” Svetlana mused, “You are still sworn off men, yes?” 

“That makes me sound like a loner or someone saving myself for marriage.” he groaned. “I’m just…not looking for anything right now, y’know? Especially not with anyone who works on this set. I can’t- and won’t, do that again. Ever.” 

“It’s not much of a problem if the man isn’t your costar or boss.” Svetlana pointed out, “Fucking writer’s room boy didn’t have many consequences, no?” 

“It’s still not a good idea.” Ian insisted, straightening up slightly when Lana tapped his shoulder. She was now adding some creamy makeup over his eyelids, glancing between the two in order to check if they were even, tapping away with brushes and the tips of her fingers.

“Plus, how do you know ‘my type’? I don’t think I’m crazy for rude electricians.” 

Before Svetlana could even try to reply, he was rambling again. 

“Men can’t get away with being broke, having a bad personality, and looking mediocre. If you check off all three boxes, you might as well give up on love, I think. Mean electrician checks off two out of three, and he’d have to be crazy hot to rebalance the scale.” 

“And what boxes do you check off?” Lana asked, sounding amused now. 

“None! I’m perfect!” Ian replied without missing a beat. He wasn’t truly that confident, but the mock-annoyed eye roll he earned from his makeup artist made his face light up. 

Even though they had grown, independently and closer, over the course of five years, it felt like their dynamic had been more or less the same since season one. It was a playful thing, where Svetlana pretended not to care for him and expressed annoyance and Ian played into messing with her whenever he got the chance. 

Maybe it was childish, but he loved it. 

“Shut up and tilt your head back, orange boy.” she ordered, tugging on Ian’s hair gently. She somehow made the motion look rough, though. 

Ian complied, smile clear across his face. 

The freckles that had once been on his face then were long faded away, but he couldn’t help but compare that moment to one from his first days on that set, when Svetlana was brand new to this career and asking him if he looked okay every few seconds. 

There was that same playfulness. That same smile. That building comfort they now had with each other. 

Ian loved being Interstellar Ian, because it lead to things- to relationships, like this. 

remember to follow me if you’re interested in this au so you know when i get around to posting the first couple chapters of this! feel free to reblog with thoughts and send any questions you have my way! thanks <3

[misscrazyfangirl321]

Sanctuary for All, Part 1 Thoughts

*I always forget how different Will is in the pilot compared to the rest of the series. So desperate for someone to take him seriously that he's resorting to rambling to the waitress about his observations.

*Will finding a Russian nesting doll and immediately assuming the family is Russian or Ukranian. Like. Do you know how common those are, my guy?

*Alexi has ADHD confirmed.

*Kinda want to incorporate Joe into The Time Wars, even if it's as a bit part.

*Forever obsessed with the bit where Will narrowly avoids being hit by Ashley on a motorcycle only to IMMEDIATELY get hit by Helen in a car.

*OK but the way Will immediately covered for Magnus. Didn't tell anyone he'd seen the person who hit him or anything. He didn't know who she was, and maybe he didn't even know why he was covering for her, but he knew she was important.

*That's not how lineups work. That's not how any of this works. A lineup consists of more than one person.

*Oh BTW Will's hair was super curly when he was a kid. I choose to believe it still is when he doesn't put four million products in it.

*Eleanor! Hey remember when it was established that Helen Magnus had friends? And hung out with people she saw in her day to day life?

*JOHN AND HIS LOCKET OF HELEN

*John acting almost shy in this scene is painful. Especially knowing what's coming.

*Will desperately trying to convince someone, anyone to listen to him. Also just... The way Joe and Meg really are trying to help Will, in their own ways. They're wrong, but they don't know that.

*Helen is so dramatic, especially in reaching out to Will, and Will just. Doesn't Engage. "Lady, I'm getting soaked here. What do you what?" Just does not let her draw him into the drama.

*Okay but the way he makes her smile, even from the beginning. Her amusement. Her oh, this will be fun.

*One of my favorite things about this episode from a narrative perspective is the way they save the Ashley reveal for so far into it. Through most of the first part, Ashley and Helen are framed as Opposing Forces looking for the boy. (.... Oh hey not like I need another AU, but that would make a great AU.)

*Tbh I really do like Meg. Wish she could have been more of a character.

*Will. Will, what is that book organization? Will.

Will, you're stressing me out.

*EC or not, there's definitely comparisons and contrasts between Meg's relationship with Will and Helen's relationship with Will. (Specifically humor, and also the contrast of Meg thinking he's crazy and him looking at Magnus' business card.)

*Magnus' excitement when Will says he doesn't know why she's looking for the boy is so fun.

*I forgot how HUGE the Sanctuary is from the outside.

*The one time teleporting into an EM shield just bounces him back. Also him laughing as he hits the ground, so fond of Helen... John, you're a DistasterTM.

*"Next time you just want some company, don't give your number out to strangers on the street." Ajdmsjsjdm Helen's sitting here trying to be all dramatic and mysterious, and Will's just like. "I diagnose you with Loneliness." And. He's not totally wrong.

*Ashley knocking out those cops just adds to the perceived contrast. We're so nervous that it looks like she'll get to the kid before Helen.

*Hey wait there's a clock on the wall when Will walks into the Sanctuary lab. We can see what time-WAIT THERE ARE TWO CLOCKS SET FOR DIFFERENT TIMES. ONE SEC. Wait, no, there's at least 3. All different times. Huh.

*Okay it looks like every pillar has a clock set to a different time. Nice detail actually.

*Love that the example for "Other [Abnormals] can't be allowed to run free" shows up multiple times throughout the series running free, including the VERY NEXT EPISODE.

*Flying Person should have been a major character.

*"He's just as unnerved by you." Ajdkfksms Biggie's characterization probably changes more than any other's throughout this show.

*Such a fascinating thing how Helen speaks so highly of Abnormals, but never refers to herself as one unless absolutely necessary. They're valuable, but they're still "Other" to her.

*Why does Ashley sign her texts? Ma'am you're texting your mother. Does she not know your number?

*Obsessed with the fact that it's played as if Helen looks too young to be Ashley's mother, as if Amanda isn't 19 years older than Emilie.

*"What she lacks in refinement, I assure you she makes up for in her field skills." Lines that get painful when you realize how soon Ashley will die.

*Wish there could have been more with Ashley trying to fool Will with stories and Will just shaking his head and laughing.

[yeonchi]

Sasha Fokin (Crazy Ukranian Kid) - Behind the Meme

The language barrier is such a wonderful thing. Without the ability to understand the context behind something, we can react to it any way we want. As such, people are so easy to judge others.

The three-minute video above is usually the only thing that Westerners know about Sasha (because this is usually the only bit that gets used in memes and as such, is the only bit that gets translated). Sasha’s story is a two-parter that premiered in December 2011 with a lot of golden meme material left untapped. I know because I bothered to watch the videos and I used a bit of extra material in my own parodies, which I did in high school.

This show is a Ukranian adaptation of the BBC show Honey, We’re Killing the Kids, which was broadcast from 2005 to 2007. The show’s name in Ukranian is Кохана, ми вбиваємо дітей (Kokhana, my vbyvayemo ditey) and amazingly, it was broadcast on STB from 2011 to 2017. I mean, is it really surprising for a channel that has been known for reality TV?

I must warn you, I am only able to recap Sasha’s story (in the two-parter) from what I can see. The show was broadcast in Ukranian, but YouTube’s auto-transcription system assumes that it’s Russian, so the English translation I get is not very good. Part 1 is here and Part 2 is here.

Context

11-year-old Sasha lives with his mother Elena and 5-year-old little brother Oleksiy. Elena is a single OL, so presumably Sasha and Oleksiy are left at home. Sasha is addicted to computer games and television. He is known to play violent and gory video games. We see him laughing at a violent cartoon. There was a line where he said something that translated to “swears, blood and tits”. He and his brother are known to fight each other and they don’t eat healthily. His grandmother can’t control him and he refuses to do his homework.

The brothers are taken to do some tests to analyse their current condition. Elena meets with the host, Dmytro Karpachov, who shows them simulated images of what Sasha and Oleksiy would probably look like in their current situation when they turn 40. Sasha kind of looks like Sal from Futurama while Oleksiy reminds me of Brad Garrett (who played Robert in Everybody Loves Raymond). The life expectancy of Ukranian men at the time was 62; it was predicted that Sasha and Oleksiy’s life expectancies would be 59 and 57 respectively. Dmytro gives the family a few rules to live by for the week, which include limiting their screen time and only playing non-violent games, a change in diet and giving the brothers their own spaces.

Next, we see the family implementing their new rules for the first week. The brothers don’t want to eat the healthy food and Sasha begins playing his violent games again. We then come to the first half of the meme video, up to the point where Sasha goes into the kitchen and starts whacking some papers on the chair. What you didn’t see after that was that Elena came into the kitchen and Sasha attempts to attack her with anything he could find. She lectures him for a long time and Sasha is finally convinced to do his homework.

The next day, Sasha and Oleksiy are taken to a karate class in the hope that they can get some exercise. Interestingly, he gets interviewed during the class while the other kids stand in a line behind him. We then see them back at home practising their karate moves. Elena prepares a healthy dinner and both Sasha and Oleksiy are willing to eat it. They have the bedroom renovated and they get the kids involved.

On the third day, the kids are taken to a speech therapist. Upon getting home, Sasha is on the computer again and in getting him to do his homework, there is a verbal altercation between him and Elena. Elena has someone come in to create a new user account for Sasha so she can limit his use of the computer. This leads us to the second half of the meme video. Sasha goes on the computer and is led to use the new account that was made for him. He discovers that he can’t access his games or the internet. There’s the bit from the video where he makes a creepy smile and says “I will install all the games”. The ensuing argument is skipped in the meme video, up to when Elena gets Sasha to turn off the computer and she throws the keyboard away when she can’t. We then have the scene where Sasha starts crying and screaming at his mother. That’s when the meme video usually ends, but what happens after that is absolute meme gold. Elena and Sasha start fighting again, at which point the former gets psychologist Igor Artemyeva (he’s not the father) to restrain him (I interpreted it as a rape scene in my parody). This ends Part 1.

Part 2 starts with Elena seeing Dmytro to discuss their progress. He implements three new rules on top of the previous three; “it’s time to grow up”, meaning that they should start living a more adult-conscious life, “get to know the world”, which I might have mistranslated because of auto-translate, but he arranges for them to visit an animation studio, and also for Elena to “care for [herself] more”. Yeah, I kind of borked there. I’m starting the days again.

During what seems to be the second week, Elena goes for a snorkelling session at the pool while Sasha goes to buy food and make dinner. The next day, they go to visit the animation studio, where they make a clay stop-motion cartoon. Knowing Sasha, there is a violent nature to it, but it’s as violent as Dynasty Warriors is “violent”.

Later, Sasha helps plan his birthday party and we see his friends during the party. It’s unclear to me what happens after that, but from what I can make out, we see him bending the rules at home, making food in the kitchen, going to school, coming back from school, has a friend come over, then his grandma comes over and they have what seems to be a little argument about homework or something.

At the end of the week, they see Dmytro again and he implements three more new rules for the next week; “fight against aggression”, “help and respect your elders” and “win against the computer” or something like that, I dunno, there was a finish flag there.

During the next week, the family goes go-carting. While Elena is at work, Sasha learns how to take care of the house and do his homework. He also learns to build a canvas wardrobe. Sasha and Oleksiy start fighting again and there’s another interpreted rape scene where Sasha unzips his pants (but not his underwear) and pretends to pee on Oleksiy. After comforting Oleksiy (this kid, I swear), Elena makes a life-size punching doll for them to punch and hit all they want.

This is where things start to go back to where they were. After some days, Sasha somehow goes back on the computer again. His grandmother comes in and confronts him and there’s this bit where during an altercation, Sasha pushes her away and goes back on the computer.

During Elena’s final meeting with Dmytro, she did not seem positive about the changes. The simulation of Oleksiy at 40 shows a marked improvement over the initial simulation, but Sasha didn’t seem to change much. Dmytro states to Elena that there were rules she didn’t fully implement and some generally ignored. Later on, Dmytro goes to visit the family at their home. He finds Sasha still at the computer and in trying to speak to him, he gets sworn at.

This ends Part 2. There was also a set of behind-the-scenes footage that wasn’t in the episode, but is pretty memetic. Once again, a lot of things have gotten lost in translation, but I managed to get the gist of it. If anyone wants to correct me on something or enlighten me on the full details of what happened, feel free to contact me.

Sasha revisited

In 2015, Sasha, Oleksiy and Elena are interviewed in a special episode of the show filmed in front of a studio audience. I remember downloading the raw footage of it from VK and using the Sasha portion of it for another parody. It was nearly 30 minutes long and I had to fill it with random dialogue. I deleted the raw footage afterwards, but this YouTuber did a reaction video on that, which you can find here. And finally, you can see Sasha in glorious widescreen. In that 2015 interview, footage from this video was shown of him at school seemingly fighting a couple of others.

Around 2017, Sasha started posting on YouTube. For those of you who were wondering, 2017 Sasha looked about the same as 2015 Sasha, so this image is fake news. He’s basically a fucking gopnik now. He did a few crazy videos, but he also did a few videos talking about his time on the show as well. A couple of these “crazy” videos include this one, which seems to be some kind of debate between beer and cider that quickly turns violent, and this one, which seems to be an attempt at gopnik rap (fuck you, there’s no hardbass in this). He also did this reenactment of some key moments from the two episodes. He also had an Instagram account, but it seems to have been deleted.

This is one of the videos in which he shares his feelings about his time on the show. Gathering from this video and some other articles, I deduced that he was bullied by everyone at school after they heard about his family’s problems and was forced to change schools as a result. He also states that he doesn’t know how to act around girls, but I think that’s a separate thing considering there are other people with this problem. In this video, he mentions an incident where he shat himself in class because his tea was laced with laxatives.

Presently, he doesn’t keep up a regular social media appearance. Most of his interactions are isolated to VK, so I have no idea about it.

My thoughts

A lot of people know about Christian Weston Chandler’s life and how he is a “victim” of the trolling he received because he divulges lots of details and/or the trolling is very well-documented. Many people might have a one-sided view of him, that is, you hate him or you feel sorry for him, but there are some who have mixed feelings because of all the factors in his life that made him the way he is. CWC is different from Sasha in that even if you got both sides of the story for the former, you’d still hate him for a variety of reasons.

While there are not a lot of details on the internet (in English) about Sasha, I’d have to be one of the few people who actually feel somewhat sorry for him, after having learnt about what happened after his appearance on the show. Reality TV becomes the talk of the town and if Sasha or Minami-chan (from Japanese Kitchen Nightmares) are anything to go by, it’s that certain people, who the show seemingly fails because they don’t want to be helped themselves, are mocked quite frequently. These two have changed with time, so maybe people should be more forgiving when they see the “where are they now” stuff about them.

At the time when I made the Sasha parodies, I was under the impression that Elena was just a strict mother who was trying to get Sasha off the computer. However, some years and a lot of thinking later, I learnt that Elena was a shitty mother overall. In the end, while she got Oleksiy to eat his vegetables, she couldn’t get Sasha to control his time on the computer or respect his elders. I have mixed feelings for the older Sasha, though; there were photos and videos of him smoking, drinking and being a gopnik, but in other photos and videos, he seemed more mature.

I tried to understand Sasha’s situation as best as I could so I could make this post, but as I said, there are still things that are lost in translation and I might not understand him as well as I might think. I think the bottom line for us Westerners is, given that the meme is practically dead, that Elena was a shitty parent during the program and Sasha was bullied because of it and his actions, but he eventually became mature, even if he did have that gopnik phase. And I swear, sooner or later, I’ll have someone tell me, “Stop saying ‘gopnik’, it’s derogatory to us Slav’s!”

[theultracharmingladynoire]

*DEEP BREATH*

OKAY KIDS WE ARE DOING MATH TODAY, FUN EH?

In case you didn't know, Plus Plus, the Ukranian channel airing Miraculous, was on a hiatus until 14th December. They had aired all episodes upto Optigami.

Now, from 13th December, they started catching up on episodes. EXCEPT THAT THEY ARE CATCHING UP. TOO FAST.

They have been airing one episode per day, in order. Which means they aired:

• 4x14: Sentibubbler on December 13th.

• 4x15: Glaciator 2 on December 14th.

• 4x16: Hack-San on December 15th.

• 4x17: Rocketear on December 16th.

• 4x18: Wishmaker on December 17th.

• 4×19: Simple mam on December 18th (Today).

NOTE: EVERYTHING THAT FOLLOWS IS JUST SPECULATION AND IS THUS NOT OFFICIALLY CONFIRMED.

If they keep going at this rate, they may air:

• 4×21: Dearest Family on December 19th.

• 4×22: Ephemeral on December 20th.

• 4×9: Gabriel Agreste on December 21st.

Assuming they DON'T have Kuro Neko in hand already, and also assuming they decide to air and episode tomorrow (Because some broadcasters don't air on Sundays I think?)

WE MIGHT GET THE FUCKING FINALE ON DECEMBER 22ND SKSBAJABSJBAJABZNS

Of course, this is just speculation and maybe they'd air Kuro Neko on that day (Again, assuming that Kuro Neko has already been completely dubbed of course). Or maybe they may even stop airing episodes and go on a hiatus too (But by the look of it, 👀 Nah)

I decided to nerd off even more, and guess what? We'd only know if they ARE airing it or not approx. 5 hours or something before they air. How fun.

P.S. I know people are annoyed by the airing schedule. But I would like to remind that the showrunners actually don't really have anything to do with this, THE BROADCASTERS do. Also, I request you to kindly not express your disappointment in the replies of this particular post😅 I'd like to keep it positive. Thanks for reading all my crazy clown speculation XD

[fanmoose12]

What's your first language / where did you grow up? (if it's not too personal)

Also, if you could live anywhere in the world, where would you choose to?

i grew up in ukraine, and my first languages are ukranian/russian (probably, russian is the first first, though, since that's what my parents are using most of the time)

i don't know where i would want to live, since everywhere works if it means i have a steady job lmao, but when i was a kid, i've always dreamed of living in uk! that's probably a result of reading too much harry potter and sherlock holmes stories, but yeah! i was crazy about it! now i just don't really care, though

[that-bi-bliophile]

So my friends and I have an ongoing collection of quotes that my crazy math teacher has said. We had our last math class today so I felt it would be a good time to share this. (I added some annotations so that it makes more sense to people who weren’t there)

                                                 Quotes by Mr. G

                                             -An Ongoing Project-

“Grizzly bear will never get reindeer, correct?”

“Health is good”

“I don’t know what planet you are from”

“Hey, build pyramids!”

“And Humperdink will be sitting at his lonely table” (I looked it up and there’s a song called Lonely Table by Engelbert Humperdinck)

“Power to the power, power to the people.”

“I like that you laugh, it means you are still alive”

“Don’t laugh because people around you are shaking.”

“Someone is laughing, it is not supposed to be like that.”

“You are so engaged, that makes you 19”

“I appreciate if barricades are taken off your desk onto the floor.”

“And fish becomes shark and eats copies.”

“Also, cover your tails”

During an earthquake drill: “Take these drills seriously” -Mr. Asdfghjkl’, “Also, take seriously mathematics” -Mr. G

“I thought it is a box”

“Lice, only in your brain”

“Welcome again to the same stream, but water is different.”

“No, there is no Mr. G.”

“Yes, Mr. G is here”

“Why are you sitting?”

“I am concerned about your grade, and your knowledge. Mainly your knowledge.”

“By the way, I like tables.”

“About geometry and your life.”

“I don’t know what you are digging”

“Kids; too many”

“Look China, look China, look China”

“What information shall we withdraw from China?”

“Give me two points India!” (These last three were from a thing we did graphing country populations by the way)

“Specifically in the mountains.”

“I am driving, Maxime, do you understand?”

“He is doing minimum, it is food for thoughts.”

“He is also a jumper, will you share what you see in the other world?”

“Mr. G often goes tangentially.”

“Ellie chose and very wisely!”

“Ladies and gentlemen, our train is approaching, silence, tunnel, please, or else explosion.”

“Goat leg”

“I will now burst with my anger.”

“Mr. G is standing on his head now.”

“Homework is a bridge.”

“Anita was a fox and Basilio lost his money: golden bars.”

“I feed you, you are a shark and sharks are biting everything.”

“Thank you for stretching, maybe you have the right.”

“Your teacher is Mr. G, I know him.”

“Don’t be scared, but some of you didn’t learn and you are going to suffer.”

“You are the first representative of a younger generation.”

“I am not poisoning you.”

“I am entertaining you. It is the afternoon.”

“Look at their information, it’s terrible!”

“Where comes two? Oh! From the ceiling!”

“I made a mistake, wait, did I?”

“They forbid me to go to school, they say they will arrest me.” (During quarantine)

“Stop with attention span, whatever happened, don’t pay attention.”

“Go, go, go, go, go, go!”

“Anastasiya, did you learn your fingernails very nicely?”

“We are all working, I don’t know what republic you are.”

“No big goose.”

“Now we have geese in the water, looking something.”

“It’s not a pack of wolves, okay?”

“It’s called an undisciplined guy.”

“It came because we were catching all big fish”

“Algebra: without algebra there is nothing in life.”

“You are like fish”

“Your brain will grow like a cabbage”

“O.M.G. Our mutual goal”

“Tongue rolling attitude”

“A gebra named al”

 “Knowledge shouldn’t be soft”

“Hands up, how many hands do you have?” Max says, “10.” (We have a theory that he’s an alien, he’s also said things like “blonde eyed, blue haired”)

“Only happy people watch a clock, because they want to extend their happiness.”

“Relax, feel in my classroom, at home.”

“Someone is running water.”

“In U.S. you have freedom and liberty” (Mr. G is talking about not finding the discriminant before solving.)

“Bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon, where is my bacon.”

“Alexa, turn off, Alexa will you turn off your music?” (Caused several other people’s Alexa’s to turn on over Google Meets)

“Dying, just relax guys, I’m not dying.”

“Tilda likes her boys like she likes her numbers, positive.”

“What’s up is here.”

CMC: “A score of 14 and over should be commended.”

Mr. G: “A score of 14 and over shouldn’t be commended in this classroom.”

(He told math team he expected us to get at least 26)

“Relley, you are number 7”

“Two minutes! It is too much time!”

“Sixth graders are like rabbits. They are always twitching, and each time you turn around there are more of them.”

“Only Mr. G can put flesh and blood into these skeletons.”

“In Ukraine, they call it the big bear, but here, you call it the big diaper.” (He meant the big dipper)

“Boo, did you do your homework?!” (We have a great recording of this one. We did it for our Spooky Room™ in advisory because his granddaughter is in my advisory)

“Sing the song!” (Then he ‘sings’ the quadratic formula on like one note)

“The textbook is your bible.”

“Shake your heads!”

“‘Good Morning!’ said Bilbo, ‘What do you mean?’ he said. ‘Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good one?’”

“Alessandra, you need a life.” (This was really odd for him to say a student shouldn’t just spend all their time on mathematics, a different teacher ran out of the room to tell people @ohnoimfangirlingagain)

“Tilda, you are good, not great, but good.”

“You are the best of the best.”

“You now owe me a Ritz box.”

“Any questions” -Mr. G, “Nope” -Student, “Okay, also not good because there should be questions”-Mr. G

“Like a magic wand.”

“Is anyone falling apart, is anyone under the table?”

“I can see behind the sofa, is anyone in the orchard, picking fruit?”

“Sending them out of the boundaries of the United States, oops out of the equation.”

“You are great specialist at this one.”

“Not president of the united states, but candidate for the equation”

“You are very good citizen of BPC school.”

“Guys tell me, difficult? Difficult in training or easy in battle taking test.”

“Extraneous root is like outside fish that we throw back to the sea because it is not the fish.” (One of my favorites. I’m making it bold so that it’s more visible)

“Relax, go under sofa or whatever is best place for you.”

“ZPP, not Zina.”

“Off we start”

“Alexa, I am not asking you, switch off, Alexa, Alexa, thank you.”

“Tangent tangent tangent secant secant secant secant tangent”

“You need to respond, it is why police respond.”

“Its been one minute, I will count one minute from our time.”

“He is doing simultaneously Step 1 and Step 2! I love you!”

*leaning in and whispering into the computer, so just one student will hear* “Can you hear me? Psst can you hear me? Turn in your homework!”

“Gabby, open your face.”

“You have 9 minutes to relax.”

"Examples, they are clear? Good color?"

"Who is joining shout?"

“Everything: Mr. G is doing everything thoroughly, digging, digging, digging. Where is digging?”

“Coming to this minus, says, ‘Hello!’.”

“The secret is easy: you don't do any stupid things.”

“I will introduce the basic things, and skeleton.”

“Margaux, show me your face. I have forgot already in two months.”

“Drink coffee, oops, tea... talk to your dog... make your cat happy... keep energy up.”

"Just take in your bloodstream"

“Why are you running in orchard, picking wegetables.”

“In many countries. In Ukraine, we had Chernobyl and stay at home, in Africa, we had disease outbreak, no tvs. Now. I am good at distance learning.” (He’s from Ukraine and also taught in Africa)

“See they are asking you? Did you get four? If you didn’t get four, you have a problem?”

“I know, I know, but they are more mistakes here, they are playing tricks, they are wrong.”

“Grudge on you, very big grudge on you.”

“You see, I am covering.”

“Don’t jump to conclusion, good teams don’t jump to conclusion. Now jump to conclusion.”

Anastasiya “Play ocean sounds for one hour.” Mr. G “You have to go somewhere?”

Cole plays music, Mr. G says “Not funny.”

“Seventh grade are all five, five musketeers.”

“We are 15 already which means someone else is here”

“So far, I am boxing you.”

“Herrings are little fish that Russians love, not Ukranians.” 

“In Zambia there are potholes in the road. So I would fill them in with gravel. Now we are going to do that with your knowledge.”

“Cinderella had to get peas from sand. And she shook the blanket. Use BUCK.” (He often tells us to shake our heads)

“Please guys, open your faces.”

“You are like little red riding hood: lost.”

“To my surprise, it is time to start.”

“Now it is time to collect stones.”

“What will you do in Europe?”

“I don't like that it’s excluded, because 2 will feel excluded.”

“Infinite algebra 1”

“I am back to discuss with you our problems.”

“What is secret about? You are canceling.”

“It’s like I am merging to highway.”

“Welcome to Ukraine, my friends.”

“I have plans for you, but you will always change plans.”

“Wow, it’s attacking me from all sides! Zina in the kitchen...”

“It's like avalanche or cabbage growing, I hope paper cabbage is still growing full of your energy.”

“Be cute enough to see.”

“Give me volume! Volume, volume, volume, volume, volume!”

“I wasn’t running with you… you know, fast?”

“Three trees doesn’t make woods.” (But in Chinese two do, just saying)

“So far you are free.”

“Is there anyone falling apart, under the table, please come out. I see you.”

“What should I say now? That it is too much work, sorry.”

“The last is seesaw problem. I am joking, I don’t know if I will show you today seesaw.”

“And I will be watching you now.”

“Do you want to talk about life? We are talking about life.”

"Don't touch 7th graders, they are like a hive of bees, you never know, they will bite you."

“You are late for the date with Mr. G.”

“Someone wants to join, no.”

“Someone is just troubling us.”

“Someone is just breaking my computer.”

“There is no problem, it is my invention.” 

I will miss his class a lot.

[asks-and-memes]

Oooooh never heard of that. Although I do stick to kids shows-

Yeah, this is definitely a mature show. You know the BBC and their tendency to just casually show naked butts and other... things. Yeah. But it’s a really good plot and I am just in awe of the acting.

So the whole premise is that in the 80′s, a bunch of illegal clones were made and then scattered around the world and monitored. So for the show to work, each of the main characters are all played by the same actress, but with different hairtstyles, clothes, accents, characteristics, and personalities. It’s insane sometimes, because each character is so different that it doesn’t quite connect in your brain that it’s the same woman playing all of them. And the editing is incredible, you’ll have a scene that’s just four clones all together and it looks so realistic, I can’t even begin to describe how cool it is.

It’s just crazy to think that uptight soccer mom Alison is played by the same actress as murderous, Ukranian pregnant Helena. 

[megacircuit9universe]

Cage Match

FRI SEP 18 2020

I really did want to keep my posting to just once a week or less. Every time I do one, I risk oversleeping and being late for work the next day.

And today, when I woke up and checked my phone, to see that Trump had announced he was going ahead with the TikTok ban, ordering it to be out of the app stores by Sunday... I figured that could wait until next week to talk about.

Users who already have the app installed on their devices will still be able to use it, and a full crackdown (the execution of which is legally murky) isn’t slated to begin until mid November, after the election... and thus might not happen at all, or... might only be a few months long, should Biden win.

But then, just around sunset, I received a notification on my phone that Ruth Bader Ginsberg had died.

We all knew she was 87, and had been in and out of the hospital battling cancer over the past few years... so this shouldn’t have been too big a shock, but... we all prayed to Jesus, Mary, and God that she would make it to 2021 at least.

Trump has already gotten two conservative justices into the Supreme Court... the first thanks to McConnell refusing to hold any hearings for Obama’s last nominee, Garland, in March of 2016, because a general election was happening in just eight short months... and the second, after Justice Kennedy retired unexpectedly, under shady circumstances.*

Even if it’s not true that Kennedy was pressured to retire by Trump, who had dirt on his son... you cannot say that blocking Garland was fair, unless you agree that it’s also fair now, to hold off on any hearings to replace RBG until after the current general election, which is only six weeks away.

But that didn’t stop Mitch McConnell from coming out only ONE HOUR after the death of RBG today, and saying the Senate will definitely hold confirmation hearings for her replacement as soon as possible.

In the second hour after her death, her body still warm, not yet stiff, Republican trolls went out on Twitter and all other social media, like hounds, released to justify the immediate confirmaton of whoever Trump nominates to replace her, calling to bypass hearings altogether... because look what a circus the Democrats made of the Brett Kavanaugh hearings, right?

Democrats had to immediately strike back, rolling clip after clip of McConnell, and Graham, from 2016... still in their PRESENT TERMS expounding upon the public’s sacred right to have a say in any Supreme Court nomination, so close to a Presidential election.  My oh me... how could anybody disagree?

These are not clips of young Graham and young McConnell from 1996, arguing for impeachment... against their gray haired selves from 2019 saying impeachment is wrong... this was four years ago Graham and McConnell arguing against themselves from earlier in the self-same six-year term they were last elected to... for which both are up today, for reelection.

But the hypocrisy of the impeachment example only serves to magnify the hypocrisy of the moment for both of them. And in the present political climate... with Trump just having been exposed on Tape admitting to a caronavirus cover up, at the cost of hundreds of thousands of lives... voters are keenly taking note.

Both of these guys, two of Trumps top sycophants in the Senate, have enjoyed decades of easy congressional races in safely red states against weak, token opponents who stood no chance of beating them.

But in 2020, that’s not been exactly the case. Both these assholes have had to spend some real money, and sweat a little, as, for the first time in their careers, polls have been showing their opponents within striking distance of unseating them.  And that was before today.

I hinted in the last entry that Trumps exposure by Woodward justified his impeachment.  Why?  He was impeached for holding back despirately needed weapons to an ally, unless he got some falsely manufactured dirt for his reelection in exchange, and he did not care how many Ukranian lives were lost as a result.

But, GOP senators failed to remove him and, when Caronavirus came along a few months later, Trump witheld PPE and ventilators from American governors, and left all American citizens hanging out to dry, even on the basic informational level about the threat... again, for the sake of reelection.

They should have removed him, but they couldn’t, because they’d already removed their testacles and handed them up to him in a slavish offering of cult loyalty... and now, here they are... trying to fuck us over again, in the eleveth hour, to replace a Supreme Court Justice who... even as I write... is days away from having a proper wake... much less a burial.

But this is not just because of slave-ball oaths to an authoritarian spank daddy... the GOP has been salivating about overturning Roe V Wade since long before Trump joined their ranks, and now... like Golem, from LOTR, hissing and salivating over the One Ring... they see it within their grasp!

PRECIOUS!!!

This is why, an hour after her eyes went cold, the 2020 election turned into a no-holds-barred political cage match to the death, tonight.

Dust clouds are billowing... people are breaking kitchen sinks over one anothers heads... spitting out teeth after getting punched... then jumping up to go at it some more.

The big questions here are:

1) What happens to the nation if they do replace Ginsberg immediately?

2) How will this affect the voter turnout on November 3rd?

3) How will the shift in the balance of the Supreme Court affect the outcome of the election, should Trump sue to challenge the results when he loses?

4) How are we all not going to die?

The big answer is... it all depends on how big a win Biden gets on election night.  If biden loses... or it’s too close to call... or  only wins by a slim margin in one state... or only wins by a slim margin in two states... we are all royally fucked up the ass.

If that’s the case, then, even if Ginsberg’s replacement wasn’t already rammed through, he will be, and then the election results will go straight to the new Supreme Court, who will rule in favor of Trump, and then he’ll effectively be King.

Because... with the Supreme Court behind him, and with his second term a go, he’ll invalidate the House and Senate election results in the months before the new House and Senate can come in... and once he’s stacked congress in his favor, he’ll be invincible.

On the other hand...

If Biden wins a decisive victory on November 3rd... over 270 in the Electoral College, with all the states that gave him those electoral votes, having done so by large margins that can’t rationally be contested...

Then even if Trump has replaced Ginsberg, the Supreme Court will refuse to hear any challenges to the election results, and the Military will recognize Biden as President Elect.  The House will continue to resist, having potentially grown stronger, and the lame duck Senate... possibly housing a lot of lame duck Republican Senators, will stand down... taking solace that they packed one extra conservative Justice into the court before their ride was over.

And then, when the new Congress comes in, with Democratic majorities in both houses (because this would be the case if enough Democratic voters turned out to give Biden a decisive victory on election night) they’d expand the number of Supreme Court Justices from 9 to 11... or 13... to mitigate the nighmare scenario where Roe V Wade gets overturned, etc.

So...

Which outcome is more likely?  A solid win for Biden on election night?  Or a contestable win / outright loss for Biden?

Presuming that voter suppression, and foreign tampering are turned up to 11, in favor of Trump... can Democrats so overwhelm the polls that Biden still gets that decisive victory?

Well... in some other year, probably not.

But in 2020, probably yes.

Why?

Well, for starters, all the anti-abortion voters already always vote in every election.  You can’t scare up any more of them to get to the polls, because they’re already, always at 100% attendance... primaries, generals, federal, state, gubenertorial, mayoral, dog-catchorial. 

So, the long awaited (from their perspective) death of evil RGB, will not change that base line.

On the other hand, the long dreaded death of RGB, will bring out legions more young women, between 18 and 35, who do not want Roe V Wade overturned.

The banning of TikTok... which Trump also committed to today... will bring out legions of voters, 18 to 35, who are feeling very keenly the threat to their free speech and expression that this move represents.

And this is on top of all the voters, young and old, who normally don’t vote, who were already champing at the bit to defeat Trump and his junta for a thousand other contemporary reasons, from Covid19, to protest crackdowns, to calling all fallen soldiers suckers and losers, and on.

Very few extra right wing votes will be cast on election night, in comparisson, by crackdown supporters, or people who want to see more denigration of war heros.

In short, the cage match atmosphere that the death of Ruth Bader Ginsberg has now created for this election... Doesn’t do much to help an anti-abortion turnout that’s already maxed out.  But it does motivate pro-choice turnout like crazy, especially among young women who are facing a life of oppression if they don’t get out there.

And that same dynamic goes for all younger voters, and all armchair liberals of older generations... for related reasons.

And these people are overwhelmingly white, and middle to upper class... meaning that voter suppression techniques, and foreign tampering won’t affect them.  They are a sleeping army, immune to such tactics.

Voter suppression targets minority people of color and the poor.  Foreign social engineering techniques target the poorly educated, and mentally ill.

That worked in 2016, when the electorate was snoozing... didn’t want any part of the drama... when Millenials were apathetic, and Gen Z was too young. 

The world has changed in four years.  A lot!

So, it’s time for bed again, but I do see a clear pathway for dramatic change on November 3rd... and the TikTok ban, and the death of RBG only intensify the potential for a sound smack down of Trumpism, and hyper-conservatism.

*Justice Kennedy’s son Justin, who became the head of real estate capital markets at Deutsche Bank, worked closely with Trump in the years before his presidency, swinging him billion dollar loans at a time when no other bank would loan to Trump.  

Such dealings were almost certainly criminal to some degree, and so it is speculated that Justice Kennedy resigned to avoid a scandal.

Calls were made for the Judiciary Committee to investigate, before the Senate held any hearings to nominate Kavanaugh as his replacement, but they were steamrolled.

[survival-is]

Heart Attack Wife

Thursday night at the Tap Room was about as busy as Denys expected.  He hadn’t wanted to come, but Joe had promised him a free drink, and he felt like he had some obligation to make nice with Joe.  After all, they were going to be working in the same ambulance.  So, he had come along, drank the beer Joe bought, and tried to find something that he liked about the other man.  The only thing that Denys was considering a positive attribute was that Joe was confident. He didn’t get nervous when pretty girls approached them, and he knew how to play certain parts of his job to his advantage.  Two of the girls were very impressed with all the chivalry and pre-planned lines about how rewarding the job was.  The third simply looked up from her phone and asked “So, what’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever seen?”

David answered first. “I went into a hoarder house once. The lady’s family had come to try and clean it out while she was in the hospital for something.  They had this teenage son who had gone into the basement. The wooden stairs where rotten, so one gave out under him, and he ended up falling, breaking his leg.”  David paused, letting his audience visualize the scene.  “I didn’t see the whole house, because we had to come in through a storm door to get the kid. Let me tell you, that basement was packed.  Apparently, the old lady had gone through this canning phase.  She had drawers and drawers of what must have been fruit, like, fifty years ago.  In that dim light, it was creepy as hell.  And the kid was just down there, whimpering and crying.  We got him out, and he was fine, but that was some horror movie shit.”

Sensing that the other two girls might have been turned off by this story, Joe jumped back in.  “I wasn’t on duty, but I hope this counts. I was at the beach last summer, and I saw this kid.  He came out of the water, and he had his hands over his mouth.  He started walking towards his parents, but then he just kind of, fell over and didn’t get up.  His parents start panicking because he’s turning blue and he’s still covering his mouth. So, I run over.  Try to get him on his back, and I try to get him to show me what he has in his hands, or what’s wrong with his mouth.  He shakes his head a few times, and then he spits up a fish.  I kid you not.”

Looking over, Denys furrowed his brow.  “What? How did that get there?”

“Kid caught it.”  Joe explained, with a small shrug.  “He wanted to show his parents, and I guess he thought his mouth was the best place to put it.”  

While he heard about kids swallowing buttons and change, the fish was weird.  Possibly fake.  Denys had no intent on calling anyone out, but as he sipped his beer, he could feel everyone’s eyes on him.  “What?”

“It’s your turn.”  The third girl instructed.

“I went into the hoarder house too.  That’s my story.”  He gave a half shrug.

“Tell them about Heart Attack Wife.”  David prompted.  

While Denys genuinely liked David, he could have punched him for that.

“Oh right!  I heard about this!”  Joe clapped his hands.  “Man, that got you messed up.”  As if he had been around for more than the past two weeks, and he didn’t know anything more than idle gossip and fun facts.  As if he knew his head from his ass.  “See, Denys grew up with his mom reading cards and palms, so he believes a lot of weird shit.”

“I said my aunt did that, asshole.”  

Joe waved his hand dismissively as if it was all Slavic Folk Nonsense.  The third girl, on the other hand, seemed more interested than before. “I’ll bite.  What happened?”  After a moment of consideration, she offered.  “I’ll buy you another beer.”

“Give me the beer first.” He instructed, and she was off. The other two girls remained in their spots, perhaps unsure if they should leave, or if they could successfully change the topic, but before they could talk about Sports or The Game, their morbid friend was back, pushing the glass towards him.

After a gulp, he considered how to begin his story.  “After my dad died, my mom moved here to stay with my Nana.  They came from the Ukraine, and Nana never learned the language. Like, Joe mentioned, my aunt had her own little fortune telling business, and my mom got her own job not too long after moving in.  So, for the most part, I stayed with Nana, and pretty much just spoke Ukrainian for a while.  Nana had been dead a week or so when we got the call.”

“There was another bus closer, but the dispatcher said the woman who called it in, her first language was Russian, so she thought it would be best to have someone who understood her at the scene.  It’s not the same language, but we went there.  It was me, Dave, and this guy Greg who used to work with us.  The doors unlocked, we go upstairs, and there’s this woman in a bathrobe, doing chest compressions on a guy.”

“Bathrobe is open.” David offered.

“Anyway, Dave and Greg here are miraculously able to not stare at this woman long enough to check for vitals.  I start trying to speak to her in Ukranian, asking what happened, and it just weird.”

“Because you don’t talk to a lot of naked woman?”  Joe snorted.

“Because of the way she phrased things.  Like, it wasn’t ‘we where having sex’, it was ‘he was having sex with me’, but you know. It’s kind of weird that this older guy has this well, attractive young wife, and we can speculate on that, but she was able to show me the medication he was on.  It looked like he’d mixed Viagra with cholesterol medication, and we got him into the ER.  Dead on arrival.”

Denys paused to take a drink.  “Now, you really shouldn’t judge people for how they grieve, but, I remember what she said when I told her he was gone.  She just got this glassy look in her eye and told me ‘But I need him alive.’, she asked me to ask to ‘shock’ him a few times, and then she got mad.  I remember her screaming and crying – which is actually pretty par for the course, but ‘I need him alive’, and ‘who is going to take care of me?’”

“We off shift after that.  I was shooting the shit with an ER nurse who was getting ready to go, when she mentions the woman.  I explain who she is, and what happened and the nurse looks up at me and asks, ‘What do you mean, she has a husband?’.  As I come to find out, they had some kind of sexual encounter.  The nurse knew that she wasn’t the only partner Heart Attack Wife had met in that gym they both went to, and that was fine, but, there was a line drawn at anything outside of marriage.  I thought it was the end of the conversation, but then the nurse says, ‘it’s funny.  After I slept with her, I felt real weak, and I knew it wasn’t just upping my reps.’” I say ‘it’s not like she killed someone by having sex with them.  No one else is dead.’  But I was wrong.”

“The nurse told me that she knew that Heart Attack Wife was really friendly with a personal trainer. The personal trainer dropped dead a month earlier.  He’s twenty-nine years old, real athletic, no one knows what happened.  His roommate came back one morning, and there he is, dead in bed.  The roommate said he was kicked out because his bud was expecting company, but, it can’t be confirmed.  No one is really looking into it, and before I sound crazy, I was pretty messed up, and instead of dealing with that I decided to go see if maybe this woman was there.”

He didn’t give anyone any time to comment.  “It’s not like I went around the clubs asking about her, but I showed her picture to the roommate.  He recognized her, but he didn’t know if she’d been there that night.   I started looking for other deaths.  I found three, maybe four young men who shouldn’t have just dropped dead, but I couldn’t bring myself to go ask about it again. Besides, on the day before the funeral, I met her again.”

“She was in a black dress, walking out of a liquor store.  She looked so blank and tired, I pulled over and offered her a ride.  It took her a minute to remember me, but she smiled and quietly got in.  I asked her a few questions about how she was doing, and she just opened this bottle and started drinking from it.  ‘That’s how I’m doing.’  She told me. I wasn’t sure if that was a joke, but she laughed.   When I got to her house, she waited by the door.  ‘Why don’t you come in?’  She asked, and I thought there wasn’t going to be any better way to stop fixating on this than going in and talking to her.”

“She poured me a shot of straight vodka in a regular glass and kept drinking from the bottle.  It wasn’t flavored or anything.  She took mine when I took too long.  I told her I thought she must drink a lot to be able to drink that straight.  She just shrugged and told me ‘I’m a widow.  I should be allowed to do whatever I want.’  After a moment, she told me that she felt like she had to drink a lot to be able to deal with her husband, but she wasn’t slowing down now that he was dead. That worried her.  I tried to talk to her about rehabilitation centers nearby, but she interrupted me.  ‘Why did you give me a ride home?’  I explained that I felt bad for her, but she interrupted again.  ‘Did you want to have sex with me?’”

“And that’s how we got down to it.  I laughed, and I told her that I found some other people, I think she had sex with them before they died.  She just tilted her head and looked at me.  I thought I was crazy for a moment, and she walked away from me, slowly walking upstairs.  I was left there, to think about how shitty it was to tell that woman that I thought she killed her husband and a few other men, with what?  How?”

“’Do you want to know the secret?’  She called to me, ‘Come upstairs.’  And I should have got out then and there.  I went upstairs after her, and then I got the fuck out of that house.”

“Well, holy shit dude. Way to bury the lead there.”  Joe snorted.  “What did she show you?”

Denys shrugged. “Well, after that, I went and I talked to some people.  I wasn’t really dealing with my grief and stress, so, whatever happened in that room – it’s not real.  And, so ends the story.”  Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his wallet and selected a few small bills. He tried to ignore the questions, and found his footing.  “See you guys later.  I gotta get up early tomorrow.”

 He was outside fumbling, with his keys, when the third girl found him again.  “No offense.  But your friend is a bit of a dick.”  She called, following him.

“Not my friend.”  He offered back.

“You seem really … on edge. You want a smoke?”

He stopped smoking a few months ago, after That Thing, but fuck.  He told that story, and dealt with Joe.  He could have one.  “Yeah.” He agreed.

Leaning against the wall, she watched the girl – more of a woman in this slant of light, expertly light her Marlboro with a match before extending her hand and offering the pack and book to him.  He fumbled, making her laugh.  “Want me to –“  With a swift motion, he was light up.  “Thought you might give me a lecture about how bad these are.”

“Sounds like you already know.”  

She let them stand in silence again, before looking over at him.  “You still see her around?”

He wanted to ask who, but he knew.  This had all been a ruse to keep him talking.  “I drove by the house a few weeks after.  Had a For Sale sign out front.  I guess she left.  Hopefully went back home.”

“I doubt it.”  The woman glanced over, and there was something meaningful.  “There was something wrong with her?  Physically?”  She didn’t give him a moment to confirm.  “She’s not going back home.  Not to her real home anyway.”

“What makes you say that?”

She smiled at him, and it was terribly serene and knowing.  “I know things.”  She dropped her cigarette and crushed it under her heel.  It had barely been touched.  “She can’t survive there.  But up here? There’s enough horny losers to keep a girl well fed for a long time.”  Turning her head, she watched the first of her friends leave the bar, followed by Joe and then the other.  “Like him. How dumb does he think we are?  I mean, that fish story?”  Slowly, she looked back at Denys.  There was something angelic about how the streetlight illuminated her short, curly hair, and he had no doubt that if someone wanted to paint a black angel, she would be the type of woman to use as a reference. Beautiful, but terribly knowing.  They were all beautiful – this woman who didn’t smoke but was so good at lighting cigarettes, her friends, and the one he had met on the bathroom floor; next to the dying body of a man she had called her husband.

She broke him out of his reverie.  “You don’t like him, do you?  So, you won’t stop us?”  He nodded dumbly.  “Between the three of us, he’s not a real meal.  So, tomorrow, when we’re done with him, I’m going to call you.”

Interrupting them, one of the two girls women Things with Joe called out.  “Hey, we’re going to leave without you!”

“I see why she showed you. You have such a sadness.”  The black angel smiled again, before turning and following her sisters to the open car.

He watched them go, not raising an acknowledging hand to Joe, or giving him a final nod. When he was done his cigarette, he crushed it out and lit another.   He considered dropping his phone, but got in his car instead, pulled out, and headed to the interstate.  There were her words in his ear, such a sadness, such a sadness.  Maybe so, but that was never how he intended on dying.

[musefulstranger]

5x09 review-One Fettered Slave

I can’t believe we’ve come to this point.

One episode before the final epilogue and it feels so surreal-i can’t even begin to imagine  how it must’ve been for the people that have sticked to this show for 4 years.

Ep 9 was what i imagined it to be: quick paced, action packed and extremely emotional.

I was scared about the analogy between the Helena moments and the general mythology arc cause they had to show a lot of things- especially after Siobhan’s death- but they balanced it well.

let’s analyze the different thematics:

The Funeral

Siobhan’s funeral  started with Sarah speaking . In an episode that is focused on another character i think the writers did a good choice not showing Sarah’s vulnerability.

She’s suddenly the pillar of the family and eveyone is expecting directions from her. She has to be the strong one there’s no other way. Her grief and feelings are not her priority right now  so she won’t break down. Not in front of Kira, not in front of everyone.

Sarah’s grown so much.This moment says it all

what am i supposed to do?

she can’t afford losing her child as well. She’s the reason she’s keeping it together after all. So she stays with her and comforts her. Something Ms S had done all those years when Sarah was absent.

I also adored the symbolism of her wearing her mother’s jacket.

Sarah taking responsibility, lifting the weights of this family

also congrats for letting Tatiana without make up in her  portrayal of Sarah (or rather the “no make up” makeup ya know) cause it made her emotional chaos more humane… her eyes said it all..

also about her breaking down- i believe we’re gonna see her grieve the way she’s supposed to after everything is finally over. Last episode is Sarah centric so it totally fits to have her moment in the epilogue.

What i didn’t like from the funeral scene was the singing at the beginning, which i found anticlimactic..it would be much better if we could just hear Sara and Felix speaking with no other sound in the background..

Also the fact that 4 days after S’s death they could walk and talk in a house that is a murder scene was totally unrealistic..Police had to be all over the place investigating and all…

Unless Art handled the situation in a way..but still a plot hole is a plot hole

Team working together

Cosima,Felix, Art, Hellwizard, Scott, Rachel ok what a pleasant suprise to see everyone working together. I loved the fact that supporting actors got the chance to actually help the ledas and be useful. Each one helped in their own field.

Cosima helped with the Dyad information and Scotty-Hell with the security system (even if it was kinda weak to hack the security system with such convienience-i’m bypassing that lol)

Even Rachel helped!! Rachel!!! My only complaint was Alison’s minimum participation in this but i get that given the circumstances her involvement  would be extremely difficult

Should i talk about Art??

Cause everything

screams

SACRIFICE

and all this time i ‘ve been crazy rambling about how his chances of surving are veeeery  low…. ep 9 built his exodus cause the final episode will be Leda/Sarah Centric…so be prepared guys…

i get Ebro’s schedule..i trully do..and i was fine with Sardinia..i was fine with Geneva as well cause there was a reason behind it plotwise but we’ve come to the point where there isn’t even an explanation about this…

they didn’t clarify the reason she left… cause it doesn’t make sense when Siobhan’s funeral was 4 days after the gallery party…there wasn’t a reason good enough to justify her absence that’s why the writers didn’t give one…they prefered to let the fans decide which reason was good enough…let’s be real though that was sloppy..and as much as i love orphan black i’m gonna point out  it’s weakening points as well.

Coady+ Mark

So Mark died absolutely clueless…his death matched Ira’s death, both manipulated by their creators, hoping for a cure that never existed in the first place.Too bad that there wasn’t any building up to bring tension and to make us care about those characters… so this scene felt kinda flat at least for me…i believe the reason behind this was cause ob writers didn’t want to make Coady a grey character…. well i for once celebrated her death after this scene

wait it is confirmed that Coady is dead right? I mean Helena beat the shit out of her so it would be  impossible to zombie out ?? or should i be worried??

PT + Rachel!Sarah

oh god PT without his wig is like a bulb with ears lmao

anyway so i loved these 2 together…this is the first time Sarah meets John am i right?

also congrats to the props team and the level of detail they use in each scene…i liked that Sarah didn’t wear the same patch Rachel wears…

a++ to the dialogue about PT perving out on Rachel because in that way Sarah put herself on Rachel’s shoes and actually saw for the first time how they were monitoring her sister and what actually means complete lack of privacy…

also both Susan and PT seem to have a perplexed image as to what a father/mother figure looks like

you don’t fuck your ‘son’/ or watch you ‘daughter’ masturbate and then call them “son/daughter” lol

but it gave me pleasure that Rachel never actually called PT “father” and that’s how Sarah got exposed..

the moment she cut him with the knife i was like “yaaaas finish him lol”

HELENA

FLASHBACKS

omg??

don’t get me wrong the kid was very good/ super talented and all

but how could they do this???

i mean it was SO.FUCKING.OBVIOUS that this isn’t the face of a leda clone you couldn’t concentrate on anything else!

at least i couldn’t! Especially when 2 episodes before they used canonically Cynthia!

i mean

??????

it defies logic?? there’s no excuse??

they could have dubbed the ukranian parts i don’t care if little Cynthia couldn’t play that good that was so wrong in so many levels… it had the “Spongebob takes a bath in the sea” logic lol

and it was really such a shame cause the flashbacks were so amazing..

first of all i loved the whole “pleasures of the flesh are unacceptable in a religious environment” thematic cause it adresses real social issues like the austerity and fake puritanism of social institutions.

the reason behind Helena’s bleached hair was a nice touch even though little Helena should also have some  burn marks after this…we got to know why she has those pink shades under her eyes as well so that was good..

as far as to why her hair is still blonde after all this time…well i choose to patch this plot hole by believing that Helena did this to herself again and again..she bleached/dyed them as a sign of punishment, self harm  and guilt cause that was the way she was raised- a mouthpiece and killing machine of others..

the art department did a brilliant job with the dollhouse and the correlation between Helena’s fixation with dolls back in her Rachel assassination attempt

Tomas took her and hide her the fact  that she’s a copy..she grew up in the illusion that she was special..that she was the original..in fact Rachel and Helena fantasized about the same thing and it is so fascinating to see how they are 2 different sides of the same coin…

Most Heartbreaking moment

Oh god this moment…

what kind of mother could you possibly make?

jesus Tatiana each time you give more and more, i haven’t seen an actor as committed and devoted as you are, you deserve all the praise girl woah

Coady found Helena’s weakness and it is not how she smells, looks or talks…it’s about her capacity of giving a future more bright and beautiful to her children than the one her younger self  had to endure…

and at the end of the day she’s willing to take the bait..  it’s either freedom or death…exactly like Rachel..there’s no middle ground..she won’t leave her children become experiments so that’s why i find super important that we finally get a Rachel Helena scene…there’s a high probability Rachel won’t make it in the finale so at least lets have a last glorious scene with the 3 of them as they try to escape…or so i hope…

THE TWINS

YEEEEEESSSSS

all this crazy rambling about this being a Sarah-Helena season finally came true! Everything came full circle and this moment was SO important like you guys don’t understand…

Sarah finally made up for Helena..she gave her her blood to keep her alive…she put each and everyone of her friends and family searching for her, she made her a priority- drowning her grief -cause she couldn’t lose another one..especially Helena.

And now she will help her give birth..she will be there for her, protect her, give her life even..even tho after the obspoilers fiasco my theory now is that Art is gonna save Sarah…because it is super symbolic .. it would be his second chance and his redemption after losing Beth.. now he’s gonna do it right. Idk it is so foreshadowing… i wonder what Rachel’s role is gonna be..i sure hope she’s the one that’s gonna kill PT but who knows at this point.

Ep 9 set the mood for a very powerful ob series finale..Helena’s inner world was raw and pure and it’s going to  parallel  Sarah’s  final  gut-wrenching episode.The twins are going to set the epilogue and i trully hope their journey will be as magical and  satisfying as this show was  for all of us.

[jeremystrele]

An Architect’s House That Melds Traditional Japanese And Ukranian Ethos In A Modern Shell

The Shkrub House is a project by Sergey Makhno Architects, for the family of Sergey Makhno himself. Located in Kozyn, a village in the suburbs of Kyiv, Ukraine, the unusual home measures in at 370 square metres. It was here that Sergey Makhno began his architectural journey more than 15 years ago, before he chose to live here. The new house design is evolved from two distinct aesthetics, one being a contemporary Ukrainian style sprung from old traditions, and the second being the Japanese philosophy of wabi-sabi that finds beauty and harmony in imperfection. A modernised take on a thatched roof overhangs wooden wall slats across the exterior, building character, though nothing compares to what lies within…

Sergey Makhno reflects on the journey of his home design: “Thanks to Japan, I learned to love Ukraine. When I went to Japan for the first time and saw how they appreciate their heritage, I understood that Ukrainian culture is extremely rich but we rarely rate it highly. Japan has given my country back to me. It has opened my eyes and, most importantly, my heart to the wealth I have always had–my homeland. Even if I wanted to do Japanese design–it would not work. Because I’m Ukrainian. I create Ukrainian design transmitted through the lens of Japanese perception of beautiful”. A sculptural figure, “Rain” by Nazar Bilyk, gazes up at the family home, guarding the family.

A Zen garden springs up around the modern exterior. Much of the garden flourished without human hand, growing on wasteland around the site over the course of a few months–apt to the Japanese belief that the stone itself must choose where to lie. The natural habitat drew in squirrels and nightingales to live amongst it. An awesome window breaks the interior open to the outside.

The home is almost completely surrounded by a minimalist concrete enclosure. It has two entrances, one from the façade and another from the courtyard that the family have fallen in love with. Entering the home via the courtyard walks you past an attractive terrace that is illuminated with designer lamps created by Sergey Makhno.

A stone path enters the garden gallery through Japanese maples and cherry trees.

Thatching and wood are architectural materials traditional in both Ukrainian and Japanese cultures, and so became a fitting choice for this melded design.

Japanese zen gardens characterise each corner of the site.

250 Tons of stones, and several perspectives shape the garden.

A giant rockery provokes layered foliage.

Majestic garden statues and traditional Ukrainian zoomorphic pottery is viewed amongst fragrant conifer and freshly mown herbs.

A stone doorstep continues the Zen garden theme.

The front entrance of the house stands strong like a fortress, with thatched turrets turned on their heads.

Solar panels perch on the rooftop.

The family wanted an interior that felt like home, rather than a show home. The main focus of this design was not the color of the flooring or the like, but beautiful kids’ noise. Whichever way you plan a modern interior to disguise the craziness of life with kids, life with kids prevails in all its glory. Everything inside this place means something dear to the homeowners, right down to the rug pattern, which was created by middle son Hikaru before he turned 2 years old.

The interior clay wall effect is executed in an ancient technique used in Ukraine for traditional hut building. The wall and ceiling are decorated with wood sourced from eleven old abandoned houses, which is not only uniquely beautiful but wonderfully ecological.

A rustic coffee table is sympathetic to the organic shape of the walls, and to the massive antique ceramic jug collection that fills one wall from floor to high ceiling. Makhno found a love for Ukrainian ceramics as a child, whilst playing in the yard of his grandparents’ house in the village. He found his very first ceramic jugs here, cleaned them up and enthusiastically searched to expand his collection that includes clay products from Trypillia, 5–2nd Millenium BC.

The cool clay walls absorb phone signals and all the worries tied along with.

The living space is divided into three parts, which includes an open plan kitchen, dining area, and a lounge.

Accents of red and teal add to the warmth of the natural decor.

Huge windows bring the garden inside.

The two floors were united, giving the gift of space and light.

An open fireplace heats the huge expanse.

The simple yet warm dining area is the family’s favorite place. Every seat at the table offers a great view, either to the living room, garden or terrace.

Japanese tea ceremonies hold a special place in the heart of Sergey Makhno, and in this home it is the teacup that reins supreme over the wine glass.

The dining area on the terrace is another special spot, filled with unique pieces.

A colossal dining table pendant lamp hovers above chunky modern dining chairs.

A live edge dining table meanders toward a lesser wall of pottery.

Sunlight plays over deeply textured walls.

Intriguing artwork stops footfall at every turn.

The house is actually equipped with two kitchens. The minimalist kitchen that stands in open plan with the living room is furnished with a contrasting wooden table that was a flea market find.

Several generations of Hutsul have dined at this 1935 table, which now stands in lieu of an island in this modern kitchen.

Sleek furniture contrasts against a rugged canvas.

The second kitchen is a closed space that was designed according to Ukrainian traditions.

An authentic “mysnyk” is mounted above the table, which is shelves for dishes.

Sergey Makhno ceramic tiles colour the backsplash. An exit to the garden gives a feeling of free-flowing energy.

The name of the house, “Shkrub”, is a fictitious word that Sergey and his wife Vlada affectionately call one another, which simply put means love. “It is respect and patience. It is home. It is sons. It is 10 years together”. It is how they are named in each other’s phone books.

Years of memories paint a personal touch around the home.

The staircase to the second floor is edged with glass balustrades.

The red and teal touches thread through the entire interior.

Ginger “Tetrapods”, a designer tile by Sergey Makhno Architects, mark the ascent to the second floor. These attention grabbing tiles were inspired by the massive concrete tetrapods that are installed on coastlines to resist wave impact and prevent beach erosion.

Upstairs, a gallery hall leads to the bedrooms. 16th century ceramic tiles provide decor up here, and guardian angels watch over the doors of the children’s bedrooms.

As Sergey’s parents are frequent guests in this house, one of the bedrooms has been dedicated to their stay. The connection between grandchild and grandparent is strong, and in Ukraine it is believed that grandparents love grandchildren more than children. Decor in the grandparents’ room is very simple and restrained. A low Japanese style bed skims the floor, beneath plain yet strong bedroom pendant lights.

Sculptural tiles fill the headboard wall, accentuated by ambient light.

Separate zones make up the master suite: The relax and recreation area, a study, a shower room and bathroom. Here the headboard wall of a tatami bed represents a clay cliff, symbolising primeval beauty, in a unique technique implemented by the Kelsis studio.

Cobalt blue artwork powerfully disrupts the naturally neutral palette of the room.

The study area in the master bedroom has a window that looks down over the living room and into the garden.

Metal lamps designed by Sergey Makhno Architects studio.

This dramatically dark bedroom scheme belongs to Sergey’s eldest son, Ivan, who is away studying in Italy with a view to continue his father’s business.

A Sumi-e-style monochrome art piece depicts distant landscapes at the head of the bed, which is traditional in the wabi-sabi philosophy.

500 year old oak covers the floor.

Kaws figurines and ceramic art-toys DIDO decorate Ivan’s room, which were created by his father.

Low bedsides wing the tatami bed.

Sergey Makhno Architects lights softly illuminate the moody black decor.

Wallpaper in the shared kids’ room was designed by Sergey Makhno, with chaotic blues spots dashed onto craft paper. Ukranian animals were then painted on by famous Ukrainian artist and ceramist, Serhii Radko.

Mustard yellow wall paint contrasts brightly with the blue mural wall.

The animals in the wall mural symbolise family.

Moving into the final kid’s room, a bespoke storage wall has archways built into it, where special toys can be kept out on display.

The biggest archway arcs over the bed, with book nooks recessed into each side.

Kid’s spaces were designed to encourage amazing imaginations and free creativity.

A walk in closet looks like a high-end fashion boutique.

Quirky accessories colour a monochrome bathroom…

… But it’s the unique bathtub and sink that stand out as hero pieces.

Another show-stopping bathroom basin puts a splash of teal up against a bright yellow tile wall.

This creative use of copper is designer tiles by Sergey Makhno, which decorate the guest bathroom.

Two versions of “Grass” and “Earthquake” tiles fill the walls around the vanity.

Thatch detail.

Ground floor plan.

First floor plan.

Perspective drawing.

Recommended Reading:  A Terraced Japanese Garden House Filled With Sculptural Art

Related Posts:

A Terraced Japanese Garden House Filled With Sculptural Art

Wood Slats Add Texture and Warmth to These Homes

Simple Open Plan Living

Kiev Apartment Showcases Sleek Design with Surprising Playful Elements

Minimalist Japanese Prefab House

Japanese Style Interior Design

[drewebowden66]

An Architect’s House That Melds Traditional Japanese And Ukranian Ethos In A Modern Shell

The Shkrub House is a project by Sergey Makhno Architects, for the family of Sergey Makhno himself. Located in Kozyn, a village in the suburbs of Kyiv, Ukraine, the unusual home measures in at 370 square metres. It was here that Sergey Makhno began his architectural journey more than 15 years ago, before he chose to live here. The new house design is evolved from two distinct aesthetics, one being a contemporary Ukrainian style sprung from old traditions, and the second being the Japanese philosophy of wabi-sabi that finds beauty and harmony in imperfection. A modernised take on a thatched roof overhangs wooden wall slats across the exterior, building character, though nothing compares to what lies within…

Sergey Makhno reflects on the journey of his home design: “Thanks to Japan, I learned to love Ukraine. When I went to Japan for the first time and saw how they appreciate their heritage, I understood that Ukrainian culture is extremely rich but we rarely rate it highly. Japan has given my country back to me. It has opened my eyes and, most importantly, my heart to the wealth I have always had–my homeland. Even if I wanted to do Japanese design–it would not work. Because I’m Ukrainian. I create Ukrainian design transmitted through the lens of Japanese perception of beautiful”. A sculptural figure, “Rain” by Nazar Bilyk, gazes up at the family home, guarding the family.

A Zen garden springs up around the modern exterior. Much of the garden flourished without human hand, growing on wasteland around the site over the course of a few months–apt to the Japanese belief that the stone itself must choose where to lie. The natural habitat drew in squirrels and nightingales to live amongst it. An awesome window breaks the interior open to the outside.

The home is almost completely surrounded by a minimalist concrete enclosure. It has two entrances, one from the façade and another from the courtyard that the family have fallen in love with. Entering the home via the courtyard walks you past an attractive terrace that is illuminated with designer lamps created by Sergey Makhno.

A stone path enters the garden gallery through Japanese maples and cherry trees.

Thatching and wood are architectural materials traditional in both Ukrainian and Japanese cultures, and so became a fitting choice for this melded design.

Japanese zen gardens characterise each corner of the site.

250 Tons of stones, and several perspectives shape the garden.

A giant rockery provokes layered foliage.

Majestic garden statues and traditional Ukrainian zoomorphic pottery is viewed amongst fragrant conifer and freshly mown herbs.

A stone doorstep continues the Zen garden theme.

The front entrance of the house stands strong like a fortress, with thatched turrets turned on their heads.

Solar panels perch on the rooftop.

The family wanted an interior that felt like home, rather than a show home. The main focus of this design was not the color of the flooring or the like, but beautiful kids’ noise. Whichever way you plan a modern interior to disguise the craziness of life with kids, life with kids prevails in all its glory. Everything inside this place means something dear to the homeowners, right down to the rug pattern, which was created by middle son Hikaru before he turned 2 years old.

The interior clay wall effect is executed in an ancient technique used in Ukraine for traditional hut building. The wall and ceiling are decorated with wood sourced from eleven old abandoned houses, which is not only uniquely beautiful but wonderfully ecological.

A rustic coffee table is sympathetic to the organic shape of the walls, and to the massive antique ceramic jug collection that fills one wall from floor to high ceiling. Makhno found a love for Ukrainian ceramics as a child, whilst playing in the yard of his grandparents’ house in the village. He found his very first ceramic jugs here, cleaned them up and enthusiastically searched to expand his collection that includes clay products from Trypillia, 5–2nd Millenium BC.

The cool clay walls absorb phone signals and all the worries tied along with.

The living space is divided into three parts, which includes an open plan kitchen, dining area, and a lounge.

Accents of red and teal add to the warmth of the natural decor.

Huge windows bring the garden inside.

The two floors were united, giving the gift of space and light.

An open fireplace heats the huge expanse.

The simple yet warm dining area is the family’s favorite place. Every seat at the table offers a great view, either to the living room, garden or terrace.

Japanese tea ceremonies hold a special place in the heart of Sergey Makhno, and in this home it is the teacup that reins supreme over the wine glass.

The dining area on the terrace is another special spot, filled with unique pieces.

A colossal dining table pendant lamp hovers above chunky modern dining chairs.

A live edge dining table meanders toward a lesser wall of pottery.

Sunlight plays over deeply textured walls.

Intriguing artwork stops footfall at every turn.

The house is actually equipped with two kitchens. The minimalist kitchen that stands in open plan with the living room is furnished with a contrasting wooden table that was a flea market find.

Several generations of Hutsul have dined at this 1935 table, which now stands in lieu of an island in this modern kitchen.

Sleek furniture contrasts against a rugged canvas.

The second kitchen is a closed space that was designed according to Ukrainian traditions.

An authentic “mysnyk” is mounted above the table, which is shelves for dishes.

Sergey Makhno ceramic tiles colour the backsplash. An exit to the garden gives a feeling of free-flowing energy.

The name of the house, “Shkrub”, is a fictitious word that Sergey and his wife Vlada affectionately call one another, which simply put means love. “It is respect and patience. It is home. It is sons. It is 10 years together”. It is how they are named in each other’s phone books.

Years of memories paint a personal touch around the home.

The staircase to the second floor is edged with glass balustrades.

The red and teal touches thread through the entire interior.

Ginger “Tetrapods”, a designer tile by Sergey Makhno Architects, mark the ascent to the second floor. These attention grabbing tiles were inspired by the massive concrete tetrapods that are installed on coastlines to resist wave impact and prevent beach erosion.

Upstairs, a gallery hall leads to the bedrooms. 16th century ceramic tiles provide decor up here, and guardian angels watch over the doors of the children’s bedrooms.

As Sergey’s parents are frequent guests in this house, one of the bedrooms has been dedicated to their stay. The connection between grandchild and grandparent is strong, and in Ukraine it is believed that grandparents love grandchildren more than children. Decor in the grandparents’ room is very simple and restrained. A low Japanese style bed skims the floor, beneath plain yet strong bedroom pendant lights.

Sculptural tiles fill the headboard wall, accentuated by ambient light.

Separate zones make up the master suite: The relax and recreation area, a study, a shower room and bathroom. Here the headboard wall of a tatami bed represents a clay cliff, symbolising primeval beauty, in a unique technique implemented by the Kelsis studio.

Cobalt blue artwork powerfully disrupts the naturally neutral palette of the room.

The study area in the master bedroom has a window that looks down over the living room and into the garden.

Metal lamps designed by Sergey Makhno Architects studio.

This dramatically dark bedroom scheme belongs to Sergey’s eldest son, Ivan, who is away studying in Italy with a view to continue his father’s business.

A Sumi-e-style monochrome art piece depicts distant landscapes at the head of the bed, which is traditional in the wabi-sabi philosophy.

500 year old oak covers the floor.

Kaws figurines and ceramic art-toys DIDO decorate Ivan’s room, which were created by his father.

Low bedsides wing the tatami bed.

Sergey Makhno Architects lights softly illuminate the moody black decor.

Wallpaper in the shared kids’ room was designed by Sergey Makhno, with chaotic blues spots dashed onto craft paper. Ukranian animals were then painted on by famous Ukrainian artist and ceramist, Serhii Radko.

Mustard yellow wall paint contrasts brightly with the blue mural wall.

The animals in the wall mural symbolise family.

Moving into the final kid’s room, a bespoke storage wall has archways built into it, where special toys can be kept out on display.

The biggest archway arcs over the bed, with book nooks recessed into each side.

Kid’s spaces were designed to encourage amazing imaginations and free creativity.

A walk in closet looks like a high-end fashion boutique.

Quirky accessories colour a monochrome bathroom…

… But it’s the unique bathtub and sink that stand out as hero pieces.

Another show-stopping bathroom basin puts a splash of teal up against a bright yellow tile wall.

This creative use of copper is designer tiles by Sergey Makhno, which decorate the guest bathroom.

Two versions of “Grass” and “Earthquake” tiles fill the walls around the vanity.

Thatch detail.

Ground floor plan.

First floor plan.

Perspective drawing.

Recommended Reading:  A Terraced Japanese Garden House Filled With Sculptural Art

Related Posts:

A Terraced Japanese Garden House Filled With Sculptural Art

Wood Slats Add Texture and Warmth to These Homes

Simple Open Plan Living

Kiev Apartment Showcases Sleek Design with Surprising Playful Elements

Minimalist Japanese Prefab House

Japanese Style Interior Design

[adambstingus]

24 People Share The Grossest, Most Unsettling Thing They Ever Experienced While Hooking Up

1.Sixty Two Stitches

Girl beneath me, rolls me over onto my back – in the process we roll off the bed and we land on the floor, me on the bottom and her still straddling me. Her leg went straight through a big glass of water. Blood everywhere. She had lacerated her leg straight to the bone in a clean cut: I could see her muscle. Within ten minutes of our initial playing around there were 6 firemen and 3 policemen in the room (she was mental and shouted down the phone that I had a gun so they would come sooner). I was high and drunk and so her roomie took control. Paralysed by shock and weed, I had to hide while they took her in the ambulance as she was THAT crazy that I was expecting her to call rape.

She required 62 stitches, 40 on the muscle covering her shin.

This is the singular most traumatic experience of my life.

2. Bless You

He pulled it out to come on my face, I was unprepared and snorted his semen up my nose. We started making out and I sneezed his semen onto his own face.

Probably grosser for him than for me, but not by much.

3. Love Conquers All

My story probably doesn’t compare to any of these but here goes:

I had recently found a new girlfriend. A cute, blonde girl with lots of curves in all the right places. We had been together for a little while (this was back when I was a Jr. in college and she was a freshman) when we went to this huge party. We both ended up getting totally trashed and wound up back at my place. Needless to say I was waaay to drunk to get any bidnass done that night. The next morning we woke up and started to get it on. For some reason, Im always really randy after a night of heavy drinking. Anyway…midway through the sex, we are doing it doggy style with her on all 4 at the edge of the bed and me standing behind her on the floor. I am hammering away like a rabid jackrabbit when, all of a sudden, i get that sour food, extra saliva feeling in my mouth. I knew what was coming but it was too late. As the puke surged up my esophagus, I clenched my hands over my mouth in a death grip, but to no avail. I spun around and tried to aim for my waste bin….but it was no use. I ended up projectile vomiting in about a ¾ circle. I managed to go from her right side, across that wall, across the wall behind me (and the bookcase that was there), all over the waste bin, and i over spun and went passed the waste bin and got it on my floor and the bed on her left side. Luckily, only some puke flak got on her back….

She’s a great girl though, that was 3 years ago and we are still together…

4.Legit Upsetting

Three words.

Anal sex. Pinworms.

It’s fucking nasty to pull your dick out and see a dozen or so worms writhing around on the condom.

5.Butt Stuff Isn’t For The Timid

So, the boy and I like some backdoor fun from time to time. We talk about it more than we do it because it’s tiresome to get ready and clean up after… usually worth it though ;). One Saturday afternoon, the boy is performing some world class cuminonumbulus when I feel a pressure at my nether orifice. I soon realised he was using some beads on me. We had some filthy and very very satisfying sex, then I went to the bathroom to clean up without removing the beads.

I’m so glad I did that.

I sat on the toilet to get the beads out.

I’m so glad I did that.

Those beads were solidly embedded in a great big turd.

I just stared at it dumbly for a moment before the smell hit me.

6. Definitely Karma At Work

I accidentally shit once while fucking a girl.

I was pretty drunk and had to fart.

I had the runs, and well. You know… I pooped. It was especially runny, it felt weird landing on the back of my thighs. It really sucked, but I kept on at it for a few more minutes.. Then I felt the bubble guts. I was torn. I was drunk, so I was debating if I wanted to just shit and keep going or get up and run away. Some how those were my only two options.

My body had a third option.

I decided to get up and just leave but I didn’t want get my pants all covered in shit.

So I did a quick wipe with the boxers, threw my jeans on.. and pretty much just walked out.

I was really upset at myself for how I handled it.

I started to walk home and I fell down and shit myself.

I think it could have been karma.

7.Busted

We were messing around in the car waiting for the class to start where I had to write my midterm exam. So to relieve some pressure I suggested a quick one. She agreed. We were in the school parking lot and right when I finished and was about to pull the condom (my gf was in the front seat already) our prof parks right next to us. I was terrified to say the least.

He said/gestured if I was coming to class and soI rolled my window down with my hand on my crotch and said yes. He said, “Do you mind helping me with these papers?” with the best poker face ever! I had no other choice but to say yes. So I pulled my pants up and walked with him with the cum filled condom still on my penis.

I was in the class for one hour and 45 mins and had to write the test with the condom on my dick. Every time I moved I died a little inside.

8.Banjo String

I split my ‘banjo string’ if you know what I mean. Blood EVERYWHERE.

9. “Deaf Girl Down”

I went to college at a school with a large deaf population, so there a couple thousand deaf kids running around campus at any given time. First big party night of the fall, and everyone is getting shitfaced. Two of my roommates and I had returned to the apt for a quick smoke session.

So in barges our other roommate with a girl of clearly questionable virtue, and immediately they run upstairs to his bedroom without another word. Our roommate was a lanky ginger with a scruffy red beard and mustache… we used to call him brother Hezekiah.

So about 5-10 minutes go by, and all of a sudden this girl comes bounding down the stairs half dressed at best and runs out the door. Our roommate closely follows jumps down the last stair to the landing, and starts yelling “deaf girl down! deaf girl down!”.

We start laughing hysterically and as I’m about to ask him wtf happened, i notice the blood running down his redbearded chin to his neck and chest. It was truly a vulgar site…at that point I literally fell to the floor laughing.

Long story short, she was deaf and couldn’t seem to communicate to him not to go down on her because she was on her period. She fled the scene in mortified embarrassment.

My roommate, despite our advice to the contrary, splashed some water on his face and went back out to party.

10. Cheesy

Going down on a guy can be like being locked in the trunk of a car with old cheese. WASH YOUR BALLS! And it wouldn’t hurt to trim a lil. The grossest sexual encounter I’ve had was a guy who sweat so profusely it was dripping on me, then he flipped his sweaty ass around into my face to attempt what I can only assume was a 69 position but was more like being force fed a butt sandwich and I could see the sweat glistening on his ass/ball hair, that, and the cheese smell coming from his balls made my eyes water and I threw him off me and ran to the shower. 30 minutes of soap and hot water and I still didn’t feel clean.

11. Drank A Drugged Drink Intended For A Girl

I once got drugged, no shit.

Went to a swingers club with my chick at the time, was hanging out and having a great time. At some point I figure I must have picked up the wrong champagne glass that was meant for this hot ukranian girl next to me.

About an hour later we were going in the taxi back to our apt with another girl my gf had met there at the club when I was violently sick and started to black out, in the front of the cab. Barely made it home, then collapsed for about 15 hours. Aparently my gf and the chick had to pay the taxi guy like 100 bucks and it was a big mess. Of course my 3some was off, thanks asshole.

I totally didn’t think that ‘date rape drug in your drink’ urban legend was true until that night.

12. The Most Horrible Of Horror Stories

So this one time I’m having sex with my girlfriend right, and it was all good and sexy so we finish up and everything seems cool.

Then about 9 months later a fucking little comes out of her pussy! I mean just like pops out and I saw that shit with my own eyes!

The little fucker is still living with us.

13. What A Trooper

A girl I had been dating for awhile climbed on me for 69. As she scooted back, I saw something white, realized too late that it was a clump of toilet paper, and got it in my mouth. Pretty nasty, but I spit it out and kept going.

14. Cats Hate You

Last summer my husband and I were living with roommates who had a cat. We were drinking and started getting hot and heavy, he stripped down and jumped on the bed, said something about it being wet and jumped back up. One of us had left our bedroom door cracked and the cat had gotten stuck in the room, and pooped all over our bed. Worse is that apparently this cat was sick with worms. My poor husband was covered in kitty diarrhea, blood and worms.

15. The Mystery Throat Infection

I went down on my girlfriend when neither of us had realized she had a yeast infection. I knew something was off, but kept going anyway. Two days later I had a sore throat and when I looked at it in the mirror it was all white and nasty. Then, she went to the doctor, got her diagnosis, and when she told me about it I put 2 and 2 together and realized that I had a yeast infection in my throat. Ugh. It went away pretty quickly on its own though.

16. She Needed Help…

Having sex with my wife, and then noticing that something didn’t feel quite right, she still had a tampon in from 4 days prior…and i had to help pull it out….

17. Roommate Walked In And Immediately Regretted It

Freshman year of college, I met this guy and brought him back to my dorm (I’m also a guy). He seemed nice and everything, and he was cute, and we started to fuck around. Eventually he decided he wanted to bottom (i.e. get fucked), and so we started having intercourse…

I started to smell the distinct smell of fecal matter very soon. I thought “whatever, I guess you should expect a little smell when having anal sex.” I continued, and the smell continued to get worse.

Eventually, we finish, and I pull out – only to see a of shit spew out of his ass. It was everywhere. I mean, fucking everywhere. It was explosive diarrhea-type shit, on my bed, on me, on the wall even.

… and then my roomate walked in.

I found out later that the dude had a severe bowel problem of some kind, and really shouldn’t have bottomed. My ex-roomate is still a friend of mine, and I still have to assure him that that’s not what gay sex generally looks like.

18. The Most Polite Lady Ever

I have to steal a friend’s story here, so here’s to you Nate!

So Nate was in South Carolina for the summer, and he went out for a night of drinking. He met an older lady (Nate was 21, she was in her 40’s) and apparently hit it off. They left together, but since Nate was staying with his aunt and uncle, and she was married, they didn’t have a proper place to go have a fuck. They decide to just pull over and have at it right there in some random field.

So, Nate get’s off, they get back in the car, he drops her off, and he goes home to get some rest. He went to the bathroom to piss out some of the beer he drank that night and looked down at his dick. It was GREEN. So, naturally, he freaks out and calls the girl up immediately (apparently they had exchanged numbers).

She answers and he immediately demands to know what the fuck is up with his dick being all green. To which the random older woman replies:

I guess it isn’t that gross, but I thought it was worth noting.

19. This Is A Girl That Fears Nothing

I was going down on this guy that I had just started seeing. He is uncircumcised so I pull the skin down around the tip and see *shudder… cottage cheese. I just could not go on but being the resourceful girl that I am, I stood up, walked over to the sink, ran some warm water on a wash cloth, came back, playfully cleaned him up and went back at it.

20.Seems An Overreation

First year of university. I’m escorted back to my domicile by a young gallant. Once we get in, I’m naked, admiring his rather lovely body and ignoring his rather stilted pillow talk. All was going well… until my period started.

That pretty much killed the mood, and I can understand. But I thought it was a bit disproportionate when he got his phone out and CALLED HIS MUM FOR A RIDE HOME. Especially since he was STILL NAKED AND ERECT. I watched this punk rock dude, naked but for mohawk and piercings, stiffy gently bouncing, politely tell his mother where he was and that yes, he’d submitted his coursework.

That was a bit wrong.

21. Like Drinking From A Latex Cup

In Beijing, I hooked up with this woman I met at a bar. Right after we finished going at it, She asks me, in Chinese, if she can drink my water. I couldn’t understand what she meant. I didn’t have a bottle of water or anything. It turns out the word for ‘water’ actually means ‘liquid’ in general. She point towards the used condom I was still holding, took it from my hand, tipped it up, and drank it down–sucking the condom inside out to get every last drop. I died a little on the inside.

It was the most disgusting thing I’d ever seen. What made it worse was when I tried to share my gross story with a co-worker. Instead of sharing my revulsion, he asked for her phone number.

I’m sure condoms taste nasty. I don’t know why she couldn’t have just told me ahead of time. I would have been perfectly happy to pull out, remove the condom, and finish in her mouth without having to use the condom as a nasty, latex cup.

22. Class Act All The Way

I did hook up with a girl once who’s “pubic area” smelled of death itself, but what can you say about a 22 yr old girl (who’s man is in jail) that you pick up in a Jewish cemetery at 2 am, get head from 5 min later and then try and fuck in a ditch behind her house… We went back to her house, I passed out, and woke up to realise I was sleeping on a dog turd on her bed room floor. I was amazed it was the ONLY turd I slept on. I was classy people at 16.

23. With Friends Like These…

It wasn’t gross for me personally:

My buddy and I met these 2 chicks. Way leads on to way and we’re in the hotel room, all four of us. It’s very “dear penthouse” in there – switching back and forth and such – and then we go for the epic DP. I’m pretty fucked up, but draw backdoor duty. My buddy’s got a girl on his face (straddling his shoulders) and one on his hips. I feel myself getting ready, so I pull out, walk around and… uh… come on my buddy’s face because I thought it would be hilarious.

The fallout – I’m laughing maniacally, and both girls end up laughing. My friend is pissed off, but finishes, but then punches me in the face, several times. I was laughing the whole time, but had a pretty nasty black eye.

The fallout, part the second: a few days later at lunch another friend asked how I got the black eye. My buddy just slammed his lunch tray down on the table and stormed off as I start laughing uncontrollably again.

24. Man Endures The Unendurable…Gets Blamed For It

This is the sad case of Carrie “fisher”. I met this lovely Canadian girl at a dive bar in Sydney and in my drunken suave state managed to procure her phone number. SO I called and 6 days later on the Friday I went over to her flat for dinner. I ended up talking to her gay flatmate most of the time, mostly about planes and didn’t really hit it off with the Canadian named Carrie.

Finally everyone went to bed and Carrie and I were left alone to talk in the kitchen. The kitchen talk led to kitchen kissing and before you know it I had found out that she was not wearing any panties. But through my Holmes like deductive skills I knew that something wasn’t quite right and so I sheepishly asked her: “Do you have something inside?” to which I received an unprovoked: “No, I’ve just got a shallow pussy”. My prudishness set in. And let me say I am one of those conservative looking inwardly extreme people. Suffice it to say I kept on and again was met with “resistance”. I plucked up the courage to say: “No , I really think you have something in there” and with deft and nimble fingers, proceeded to slide out and uncork a hard, 7 day old, mucous encrusted tampon.

“The Silver Slug Incident” as Carrie’s house would later call it as though it was all a big joke and not remotely gross. It flopped to the floor with a “flop” and it was kind of like Alladin’s lamp, except that the genie was the worst smell. Kind of like when you walk pass a plot of land and turn to your friend and say: “wow, smells like something is dead in there”. It was the stench of something so putrid and rotten and it went deep inside me. After seeing smelling it she immediately stated: “Oh, my god I am sooo embarrassed.” I, of course, was embarrassed for her and nervously asked if she wanted a bath. “What do you mean?” Not knowing what to say I said with a question: “with me?” Cut to having a bath Cut from bath to spending the night and actually having sex with her because I was to wimpy to say: “That’s gross and I am outta here!”

Cut to the next week in the dvd store that I worked at. She comes in and rents Spiderman. We talk in that “I’m not acknowledging what happened” way. Her flatmate-a girl comes in and also gets Spiderman and with a tiny dvd store full of customers yells out as she leaves: “Oh and by the way…you gave Carrie a yeast infection!”

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/24-people-share-the-grossest-most-unsettling-thing-they-ever-experienced-while-hooking-up/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/169088351967

[samanthasroberts]

24 People Share The Grossest, Most Unsettling Thing They Ever Experienced While Hooking Up

1.Sixty Two Stitches

Girl beneath me, rolls me over onto my back – in the process we roll off the bed and we land on the floor, me on the bottom and her still straddling me. Her leg went straight through a big glass of water. Blood everywhere. She had lacerated her leg straight to the bone in a clean cut: I could see her muscle. Within ten minutes of our initial playing around there were 6 firemen and 3 policemen in the room (she was mental and shouted down the phone that I had a gun so they would come sooner). I was high and drunk and so her roomie took control. Paralysed by shock and weed, I had to hide while they took her in the ambulance as she was THAT crazy that I was expecting her to call rape.

She required 62 stitches, 40 on the muscle covering her shin.

This is the singular most traumatic experience of my life.

2. Bless You

He pulled it out to come on my face, I was unprepared and snorted his semen up my nose. We started making out and I sneezed his semen onto his own face.

Probably grosser for him than for me, but not by much.

3. Love Conquers All

My story probably doesn’t compare to any of these but here goes:

I had recently found a new girlfriend. A cute, blonde girl with lots of curves in all the right places. We had been together for a little while (this was back when I was a Jr. in college and she was a freshman) when we went to this huge party. We both ended up getting totally trashed and wound up back at my place. Needless to say I was waaay to drunk to get any bidnass done that night. The next morning we woke up and started to get it on. For some reason, Im always really randy after a night of heavy drinking. Anyway…midway through the sex, we are doing it doggy style with her on all 4 at the edge of the bed and me standing behind her on the floor. I am hammering away like a rabid jackrabbit when, all of a sudden, i get that sour food, extra saliva feeling in my mouth. I knew what was coming but it was too late. As the puke surged up my esophagus, I clenched my hands over my mouth in a death grip, but to no avail. I spun around and tried to aim for my waste bin….but it was no use. I ended up projectile vomiting in about a 3/4 circle. I managed to go from her right side, across that wall, across the wall behind me (and the bookcase that was there), all over the waste bin, and i over spun and went passed the waste bin and got it on my floor and the bed on her left side. Luckily, only some puke flak got on her back….

She’s a great girl though, that was 3 years ago and we are still together…

4.Legit Upsetting

Three words.

Anal sex. Pinworms.

It’s fucking nasty to pull your dick out and see a dozen or so worms writhing around on the condom.

5.Butt Stuff Isn’t For The Timid

So, the boy and I like some backdoor fun from time to time. We talk about it more than we do it because it’s tiresome to get ready and clean up after… usually worth it though ;). One Saturday afternoon, the boy is performing some world class cuminonumbulus when I feel a pressure at my nether orifice. I soon realised he was using some beads on me. We had some filthy and very very satisfying sex, then I went to the bathroom to clean up without removing the beads.

I’m so glad I did that.

I sat on the toilet to get the beads out.

I’m so glad I did that.

Those beads were solidly embedded in a great big turd.

I just stared at it dumbly for a moment before the smell hit me.

6. Definitely Karma At Work

I accidentally shit once while fucking a girl.

I was pretty drunk and had to fart.

I had the runs, and well. You know… I pooped. It was especially runny, it felt weird landing on the back of my thighs. It really sucked, but I kept on at it for a few more minutes.. Then I felt the bubble guts. I was torn. I was drunk, so I was debating if I wanted to just shit and keep going or get up and run away. Some how those were my only two options.

My body had a third option.

I decided to get up and just leave but I didn’t want get my pants all covered in shit.

So I did a quick wipe with the boxers, threw my jeans on.. and pretty much just walked out.

I was really upset at myself for how I handled it.

I started to walk home and I fell down and shit myself.

I think it could have been karma.

7.Busted

We were messing around in the car waiting for the class to start where I had to write my midterm exam. So to relieve some pressure I suggested a quick one. She agreed. We were in the school parking lot and right when I finished and was about to pull the condom (my gf was in the front seat already) our prof parks right next to us. I was terrified to say the least.

He said/gestured if I was coming to class and soI rolled my window down with my hand on my crotch and said yes. He said, “Do you mind helping me with these papers?” with the best poker face ever! I had no other choice but to say yes. So I pulled my pants up and walked with him with the cum filled condom still on my penis.

I was in the class for one hour and 45 mins and had to write the test with the condom on my dick. Every time I moved I died a little inside.

8.Banjo String

I split my ‘banjo string’ if you know what I mean. Blood EVERYWHERE.

9. “Deaf Girl Down”

I went to college at a school with a large deaf population, so there a couple thousand deaf kids running around campus at any given time. First big party night of the fall, and everyone is getting shitfaced. Two of my roommates and I had returned to the apt for a quick smoke session.

So in barges our other roommate with a girl of clearly questionable virtue, and immediately they run upstairs to his bedroom without another word. Our roommate was a lanky ginger with a scruffy red beard and mustache… we used to call him brother Hezekiah.

So about 5-10 minutes go by, and all of a sudden this girl comes bounding down the stairs half dressed at best and runs out the door. Our roommate closely follows jumps down the last stair to the landing, and starts yelling “deaf girl down! deaf girl down!”.

We start laughing hysterically and as I’m about to ask him wtf happened, i notice the blood running down his redbearded chin to his neck and chest. It was truly a vulgar site…at that point I literally fell to the floor laughing.

Long story short, she was deaf and couldn’t seem to communicate to him not to go down on her because she was on her period. She fled the scene in mortified embarrassment.

My roommate, despite our advice to the contrary, splashed some water on his face and went back out to party.

10. Cheesy

Going down on a guy can be like being locked in the trunk of a car with old cheese. WASH YOUR BALLS! And it wouldn’t hurt to trim a lil. The grossest sexual encounter I’ve had was a guy who sweat so profusely it was dripping on me, then he flipped his sweaty ass around into my face to attempt what I can only assume was a 69 position but was more like being force fed a butt sandwich and I could see the sweat glistening on his ass/ball hair, that, and the cheese smell coming from his balls made my eyes water and I threw him off me and ran to the shower. 30 minutes of soap and hot water and I still didn’t feel clean.

11. Drank A Drugged Drink Intended For A Girl

I once got drugged, no shit.

Went to a swingers club with my chick at the time, was hanging out and having a great time. At some point I figure I must have picked up the wrong champagne glass that was meant for this hot ukranian girl next to me.

About an hour later we were going in the taxi back to our apt with another girl my gf had met there at the club when I was violently sick and started to black out, in the front of the cab. Barely made it home, then collapsed for about 15 hours. Aparently my gf and the chick had to pay the taxi guy like 100 bucks and it was a big mess. Of course my 3some was off, thanks asshole.

I totally didn’t think that ‘date rape drug in your drink’ urban legend was true until that night.

12. The Most Horrible Of Horror Stories

So this one time I’m having sex with my girlfriend right, and it was all good and sexy so we finish up and everything seems cool.

Then about 9 months later a fucking little comes out of her pussy! I mean just like pops out and I saw that shit with my own eyes!

The little fucker is still living with us.

13. What A Trooper

A girl I had been dating for awhile climbed on me for 69. As she scooted back, I saw something white, realized too late that it was a clump of toilet paper, and got it in my mouth. Pretty nasty, but I spit it out and kept going.

14. Cats Hate You

Last summer my husband and I were living with roommates who had a cat. We were drinking and started getting hot and heavy, he stripped down and jumped on the bed, said something about it being wet and jumped back up. One of us had left our bedroom door cracked and the cat had gotten stuck in the room, and pooped all over our bed. Worse is that apparently this cat was sick with worms. My poor husband was covered in kitty diarrhea, blood and worms.

15. The Mystery Throat Infection

I went down on my girlfriend when neither of us had realized she had a yeast infection. I knew something was off, but kept going anyway. Two days later I had a sore throat and when I looked at it in the mirror it was all white and nasty. Then, she went to the doctor, got her diagnosis, and when she told me about it I put 2 and 2 together and realized that I had a yeast infection in my throat. Ugh. It went away pretty quickly on its own though.

16. She Needed Help…

Having sex with my wife, and then noticing that something didn’t feel quite right, she still had a tampon in from 4 days prior…and i had to help pull it out….

17. Roommate Walked In And Immediately Regretted It

Freshman year of college, I met this guy and brought him back to my dorm (I’m also a guy). He seemed nice and everything, and he was cute, and we started to fuck around. Eventually he decided he wanted to bottom (i.e. get fucked), and so we started having intercourse…

I started to smell the distinct smell of fecal matter very soon. I thought “whatever, I guess you should expect a little smell when having anal sex.” I continued, and the smell continued to get worse.

Eventually, we finish, and I pull out – only to see a of shit spew out of his ass. It was everywhere. I mean, fucking everywhere. It was explosive diarrhea-type shit, on my bed, on me, on the wall even.

… and then my roomate walked in.

I found out later that the dude had a severe bowel problem of some kind, and really shouldn’t have bottomed. My ex-roomate is still a friend of mine, and I still have to assure him that that’s not what gay sex generally looks like.

18. The Most Polite Lady Ever

I have to steal a friend’s story here, so here’s to you Nate!

So Nate was in South Carolina for the summer, and he went out for a night of drinking. He met an older lady (Nate was 21, she was in her 40’s) and apparently hit it off. They left together, but since Nate was staying with his aunt and uncle, and she was married, they didn’t have a proper place to go have a fuck. They decide to just pull over and have at it right there in some random field.

So, Nate get’s off, they get back in the car, he drops her off, and he goes home to get some rest. He went to the bathroom to piss out some of the beer he drank that night and looked down at his dick. It was GREEN. So, naturally, he freaks out and calls the girl up immediately (apparently they had exchanged numbers).

She answers and he immediately demands to know what the fuck is up with his dick being all green. To which the random older woman replies:

I guess it isn’t that gross, but I thought it was worth noting.

19. This Is A Girl That Fears Nothing

I was going down on this guy that I had just started seeing. He is uncircumcised so I pull the skin down around the tip and see *shudder… cottage cheese. I just could not go on but being the resourceful girl that I am, I stood up, walked over to the sink, ran some warm water on a wash cloth, came back, playfully cleaned him up and went back at it.

20.Seems An Overreation

First year of university. I’m escorted back to my domicile by a young gallant. Once we get in, I’m naked, admiring his rather lovely body and ignoring his rather stilted pillow talk. All was going well… until my period started.

That pretty much killed the mood, and I can understand. But I thought it was a bit disproportionate when he got his phone out and CALLED HIS MUM FOR A RIDE HOME. Especially since he was STILL NAKED AND ERECT. I watched this punk rock dude, naked but for mohawk and piercings, stiffy gently bouncing, politely tell his mother where he was and that yes, he’d submitted his coursework.

That was a bit wrong.

21. Like Drinking From A Latex Cup

In Beijing, I hooked up with this woman I met at a bar. Right after we finished going at it, She asks me, in Chinese, if she can drink my water. I couldn’t understand what she meant. I didn’t have a bottle of water or anything. It turns out the word for ‘water’ actually means ‘liquid’ in general. She point towards the used condom I was still holding, took it from my hand, tipped it up, and drank it down–sucking the condom inside out to get every last drop. I died a little on the inside.

It was the most disgusting thing I’d ever seen. What made it worse was when I tried to share my gross story with a co-worker. Instead of sharing my revulsion, he asked for her phone number.

I’m sure condoms taste nasty. I don’t know why she couldn’t have just told me ahead of time. I would have been perfectly happy to pull out, remove the condom, and finish in her mouth without having to use the condom as a nasty, latex cup.

22. Class Act All The Way

I did hook up with a girl once who’s “pubic area” smelled of death itself, but what can you say about a 22 yr old girl (who’s man is in jail) that you pick up in a Jewish cemetery at 2 am, get head from 5 min later and then try and fuck in a ditch behind her house… We went back to her house, I passed out, and woke up to realise I was sleeping on a dog turd on her bed room floor. I was amazed it was the ONLY turd I slept on. I was classy people at 16.

23. With Friends Like These…

It wasn’t gross for me personally:

My buddy and I met these 2 chicks. Way leads on to way and we’re in the hotel room, all four of us. It’s very “dear penthouse” in there – switching back and forth and such – and then we go for the epic DP. I’m pretty fucked up, but draw backdoor duty. My buddy’s got a girl on his face (straddling his shoulders) and one on his hips. I feel myself getting ready, so I pull out, walk around and… uh… come on my buddy’s face because I thought it would be hilarious.

The fallout – I’m laughing maniacally, and both girls end up laughing. My friend is pissed off, but finishes, but then punches me in the face, several times. I was laughing the whole time, but had a pretty nasty black eye.

The fallout, part the second: a few days later at lunch another friend asked how I got the black eye. My buddy just slammed his lunch tray down on the table and stormed off as I start laughing uncontrollably again.

24. Man Endures The Unendurable…Gets Blamed For It

This is the sad case of Carrie “fisher”. I met this lovely Canadian girl at a dive bar in Sydney and in my drunken suave state managed to procure her phone number. SO I called and 6 days later on the Friday I went over to her flat for dinner. I ended up talking to her gay flatmate most of the time, mostly about planes and didn’t really hit it off with the Canadian named Carrie.

Finally everyone went to bed and Carrie and I were left alone to talk in the kitchen. The kitchen talk led to kitchen kissing and before you know it I had found out that she was not wearing any panties. But through my Holmes like deductive skills I knew that something wasn’t quite right and so I sheepishly asked her: “Do you have something inside?” to which I received an unprovoked: “No, I’ve just got a shallow pussy”. My prudishness set in. And let me say I am one of those conservative looking inwardly extreme people. Suffice it to say I kept on and again was met with “resistance”. I plucked up the courage to say: “No , I really think you have something in there” and with deft and nimble fingers, proceeded to slide out and uncork a hard, 7 day old, mucous encrusted tampon.

“The Silver Slug Incident” as Carrie’s house would later call it as though it was all a big joke and not remotely gross. It flopped to the floor with a “flop” and it was kind of like Alladin’s lamp, except that the genie was the worst smell. Kind of like when you walk pass a plot of land and turn to your friend and say: “wow, smells like something is dead in there”. It was the stench of something so putrid and rotten and it went deep inside me. After seeing smelling it she immediately stated: “Oh, my god I am sooo embarrassed.” I, of course, was embarrassed for her and nervously asked if she wanted a bath. “What do you mean?” Not knowing what to say I said with a question: “with me?” Cut to having a bath Cut from bath to spending the night and actually having sex with her because I was to wimpy to say: “That’s gross and I am outta here!”

Cut to the next week in the dvd store that I worked at. She comes in and rents Spiderman. We talk in that “I’m not acknowledging what happened” way. Her flatmate-a girl comes in and also gets Spiderman and with a tiny dvd store full of customers yells out as she leaves: “Oh and by the way…you gave Carrie a yeast infection!”

Source: http://allofbeer.com/24-people-share-the-grossest-most-unsettling-thing-they-ever-experienced-while-hooking-up/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/12/29/24-people-share-the-grossest-most-unsettling-thing-they-ever-experienced-while-hooking-up/

[allofbeercom]

24 People Share The Grossest, Most Unsettling Thing They Ever Experienced While Hooking Up

1.Sixty Two Stitches

Girl beneath me, rolls me over onto my back – in the process we roll off the bed and we land on the floor, me on the bottom and her still straddling me. Her leg went straight through a big glass of water. Blood everywhere. She had lacerated her leg straight to the bone in a clean cut: I could see her muscle. Within ten minutes of our initial playing around there were 6 firemen and 3 policemen in the room (she was mental and shouted down the phone that I had a gun so they would come sooner). I was high and drunk and so her roomie took control. Paralysed by shock and weed, I had to hide while they took her in the ambulance as she was THAT crazy that I was expecting her to call rape.

She required 62 stitches, 40 on the muscle covering her shin.

This is the singular most traumatic experience of my life.

2. Bless You

He pulled it out to come on my face, I was unprepared and snorted his semen up my nose. We started making out and I sneezed his semen onto his own face.

Probably grosser for him than for me, but not by much.

3. Love Conquers All

My story probably doesn’t compare to any of these but here goes:

I had recently found a new girlfriend. A cute, blonde girl with lots of curves in all the right places. We had been together for a little while (this was back when I was a Jr. in college and she was a freshman) when we went to this huge party. We both ended up getting totally trashed and wound up back at my place. Needless to say I was waaay to drunk to get any bidnass done that night. The next morning we woke up and started to get it on. For some reason, Im always really randy after a night of heavy drinking. Anyway…midway through the sex, we are doing it doggy style with her on all 4 at the edge of the bed and me standing behind her on the floor. I am hammering away like a rabid jackrabbit when, all of a sudden, i get that sour food, extra saliva feeling in my mouth. I knew what was coming but it was too late. As the puke surged up my esophagus, I clenched my hands over my mouth in a death grip, but to no avail. I spun around and tried to aim for my waste bin….but it was no use. I ended up projectile vomiting in about a 3/4 circle. I managed to go from her right side, across that wall, across the wall behind me (and the bookcase that was there), all over the waste bin, and i over spun and went passed the waste bin and got it on my floor and the bed on her left side. Luckily, only some puke flak got on her back….

She’s a great girl though, that was 3 years ago and we are still together…

4.Legit Upsetting

Three words.

Anal sex. Pinworms.

It’s fucking nasty to pull your dick out and see a dozen or so worms writhing around on the condom.

5.Butt Stuff Isn’t For The Timid

So, the boy and I like some backdoor fun from time to time. We talk about it more than we do it because it’s tiresome to get ready and clean up after… usually worth it though ;). One Saturday afternoon, the boy is performing some world class cuminonumbulus when I feel a pressure at my nether orifice. I soon realised he was using some beads on me. We had some filthy and very very satisfying sex, then I went to the bathroom to clean up without removing the beads.

I’m so glad I did that.

I sat on the toilet to get the beads out.

I’m so glad I did that.

Those beads were solidly embedded in a great big turd.

I just stared at it dumbly for a moment before the smell hit me.

6. Definitely Karma At Work

I accidentally shit once while fucking a girl.

I was pretty drunk and had to fart.

I had the runs, and well. You know… I pooped. It was especially runny, it felt weird landing on the back of my thighs. It really sucked, but I kept on at it for a few more minutes.. Then I felt the bubble guts. I was torn. I was drunk, so I was debating if I wanted to just shit and keep going or get up and run away. Some how those were my only two options.

My body had a third option.

I decided to get up and just leave but I didn’t want get my pants all covered in shit.

So I did a quick wipe with the boxers, threw my jeans on.. and pretty much just walked out.

I was really upset at myself for how I handled it.

I started to walk home and I fell down and shit myself.

I think it could have been karma.

7.Busted

We were messing around in the car waiting for the class to start where I had to write my midterm exam. So to relieve some pressure I suggested a quick one. She agreed. We were in the school parking lot and right when I finished and was about to pull the condom (my gf was in the front seat already) our prof parks right next to us. I was terrified to say the least.

He said/gestured if I was coming to class and soI rolled my window down with my hand on my crotch and said yes. He said, “Do you mind helping me with these papers?” with the best poker face ever! I had no other choice but to say yes. So I pulled my pants up and walked with him with the cum filled condom still on my penis.

I was in the class for one hour and 45 mins and had to write the test with the condom on my dick. Every time I moved I died a little inside.

8.Banjo String

I split my ‘banjo string’ if you know what I mean. Blood EVERYWHERE.

9. “Deaf Girl Down”

I went to college at a school with a large deaf population, so there a couple thousand deaf kids running around campus at any given time. First big party night of the fall, and everyone is getting shitfaced. Two of my roommates and I had returned to the apt for a quick smoke session.

So in barges our other roommate with a girl of clearly questionable virtue, and immediately they run upstairs to his bedroom without another word. Our roommate was a lanky ginger with a scruffy red beard and mustache… we used to call him brother Hezekiah.

So about 5-10 minutes go by, and all of a sudden this girl comes bounding down the stairs half dressed at best and runs out the door. Our roommate closely follows jumps down the last stair to the landing, and starts yelling “deaf girl down! deaf girl down!”.

We start laughing hysterically and as I’m about to ask him wtf happened, i notice the blood running down his redbearded chin to his neck and chest. It was truly a vulgar site…at that point I literally fell to the floor laughing.

Long story short, she was deaf and couldn’t seem to communicate to him not to go down on her because she was on her period. She fled the scene in mortified embarrassment.

My roommate, despite our advice to the contrary, splashed some water on his face and went back out to party.

10. Cheesy

Going down on a guy can be like being locked in the trunk of a car with old cheese. WASH YOUR BALLS! And it wouldn’t hurt to trim a lil. The grossest sexual encounter I’ve had was a guy who sweat so profusely it was dripping on me, then he flipped his sweaty ass around into my face to attempt what I can only assume was a 69 position but was more like being force fed a butt sandwich and I could see the sweat glistening on his ass/ball hair, that, and the cheese smell coming from his balls made my eyes water and I threw him off me and ran to the shower. 30 minutes of soap and hot water and I still didn’t feel clean.

11. Drank A Drugged Drink Intended For A Girl

I once got drugged, no shit.

Went to a swingers club with my chick at the time, was hanging out and having a great time. At some point I figure I must have picked up the wrong champagne glass that was meant for this hot ukranian girl next to me.

About an hour later we were going in the taxi back to our apt with another girl my gf had met there at the club when I was violently sick and started to black out, in the front of the cab. Barely made it home, then collapsed for about 15 hours. Aparently my gf and the chick had to pay the taxi guy like 100 bucks and it was a big mess. Of course my 3some was off, thanks asshole.

I totally didn’t think that ‘date rape drug in your drink’ urban legend was true until that night.

12. The Most Horrible Of Horror Stories

So this one time I’m having sex with my girlfriend right, and it was all good and sexy so we finish up and everything seems cool.

Then about 9 months later a fucking little comes out of her pussy! I mean just like pops out and I saw that shit with my own eyes!

The little fucker is still living with us.

13. What A Trooper

A girl I had been dating for awhile climbed on me for 69. As she scooted back, I saw something white, realized too late that it was a clump of toilet paper, and got it in my mouth. Pretty nasty, but I spit it out and kept going.

14. Cats Hate You

Last summer my husband and I were living with roommates who had a cat. We were drinking and started getting hot and heavy, he stripped down and jumped on the bed, said something about it being wet and jumped back up. One of us had left our bedroom door cracked and the cat had gotten stuck in the room, and pooped all over our bed. Worse is that apparently this cat was sick with worms. My poor husband was covered in kitty diarrhea, blood and worms.

15. The Mystery Throat Infection

I went down on my girlfriend when neither of us had realized she had a yeast infection. I knew something was off, but kept going anyway. Two days later I had a sore throat and when I looked at it in the mirror it was all white and nasty. Then, she went to the doctor, got her diagnosis, and when she told me about it I put 2 and 2 together and realized that I had a yeast infection in my throat. Ugh. It went away pretty quickly on its own though.

16. She Needed Help…

Having sex with my wife, and then noticing that something didn’t feel quite right, she still had a tampon in from 4 days prior…and i had to help pull it out….

17. Roommate Walked In And Immediately Regretted It

Freshman year of college, I met this guy and brought him back to my dorm (I’m also a guy). He seemed nice and everything, and he was cute, and we started to fuck around. Eventually he decided he wanted to bottom (i.e. get fucked), and so we started having intercourse…

I started to smell the distinct smell of fecal matter very soon. I thought “whatever, I guess you should expect a little smell when having anal sex.” I continued, and the smell continued to get worse.

Eventually, we finish, and I pull out – only to see a of shit spew out of his ass. It was everywhere. I mean, fucking everywhere. It was explosive diarrhea-type shit, on my bed, on me, on the wall even.

… and then my roomate walked in.

I found out later that the dude had a severe bowel problem of some kind, and really shouldn’t have bottomed. My ex-roomate is still a friend of mine, and I still have to assure him that that’s not what gay sex generally looks like.

18. The Most Polite Lady Ever

I have to steal a friend’s story here, so here’s to you Nate!

So Nate was in South Carolina for the summer, and he went out for a night of drinking. He met an older lady (Nate was 21, she was in her 40’s) and apparently hit it off. They left together, but since Nate was staying with his aunt and uncle, and she was married, they didn’t have a proper place to go have a fuck. They decide to just pull over and have at it right there in some random field.

So, Nate get’s off, they get back in the car, he drops her off, and he goes home to get some rest. He went to the bathroom to piss out some of the beer he drank that night and looked down at his dick. It was GREEN. So, naturally, he freaks out and calls the girl up immediately (apparently they had exchanged numbers).

She answers and he immediately demands to know what the fuck is up with his dick being all green. To which the random older woman replies:

I guess it isn’t that gross, but I thought it was worth noting.

19. This Is A Girl That Fears Nothing

I was going down on this guy that I had just started seeing. He is uncircumcised so I pull the skin down around the tip and see *shudder… cottage cheese. I just could not go on but being the resourceful girl that I am, I stood up, walked over to the sink, ran some warm water on a wash cloth, came back, playfully cleaned him up and went back at it.

20.Seems An Overreation

First year of university. I’m escorted back to my domicile by a young gallant. Once we get in, I’m naked, admiring his rather lovely body and ignoring his rather stilted pillow talk. All was going well… until my period started.

That pretty much killed the mood, and I can understand. But I thought it was a bit disproportionate when he got his phone out and CALLED HIS MUM FOR A RIDE HOME. Especially since he was STILL NAKED AND ERECT. I watched this punk rock dude, naked but for mohawk and piercings, stiffy gently bouncing, politely tell his mother where he was and that yes, he’d submitted his coursework.

That was a bit wrong.

21. Like Drinking From A Latex Cup

In Beijing, I hooked up with this woman I met at a bar. Right after we finished going at it, She asks me, in Chinese, if she can drink my water. I couldn’t understand what she meant. I didn’t have a bottle of water or anything. It turns out the word for ‘water’ actually means ‘liquid’ in general. She point towards the used condom I was still holding, took it from my hand, tipped it up, and drank it down–sucking the condom inside out to get every last drop. I died a little on the inside.

It was the most disgusting thing I’d ever seen. What made it worse was when I tried to share my gross story with a co-worker. Instead of sharing my revulsion, he asked for her phone number.

I’m sure condoms taste nasty. I don’t know why she couldn’t have just told me ahead of time. I would have been perfectly happy to pull out, remove the condom, and finish in her mouth without having to use the condom as a nasty, latex cup.

22. Class Act All The Way

I did hook up with a girl once who’s “pubic area” smelled of death itself, but what can you say about a 22 yr old girl (who’s man is in jail) that you pick up in a Jewish cemetery at 2 am, get head from 5 min later and then try and fuck in a ditch behind her house… We went back to her house, I passed out, and woke up to realise I was sleeping on a dog turd on her bed room floor. I was amazed it was the ONLY turd I slept on. I was classy people at 16.

23. With Friends Like These…

It wasn’t gross for me personally:

My buddy and I met these 2 chicks. Way leads on to way and we’re in the hotel room, all four of us. It’s very “dear penthouse” in there – switching back and forth and such – and then we go for the epic DP. I’m pretty fucked up, but draw backdoor duty. My buddy’s got a girl on his face (straddling his shoulders) and one on his hips. I feel myself getting ready, so I pull out, walk around and… uh… come on my buddy’s face because I thought it would be hilarious.

The fallout – I’m laughing maniacally, and both girls end up laughing. My friend is pissed off, but finishes, but then punches me in the face, several times. I was laughing the whole time, but had a pretty nasty black eye.

The fallout, part the second: a few days later at lunch another friend asked how I got the black eye. My buddy just slammed his lunch tray down on the table and stormed off as I start laughing uncontrollably again.

24. Man Endures The Unendurable…Gets Blamed For It

This is the sad case of Carrie “fisher”. I met this lovely Canadian girl at a dive bar in Sydney and in my drunken suave state managed to procure her phone number. SO I called and 6 days later on the Friday I went over to her flat for dinner. I ended up talking to her gay flatmate most of the time, mostly about planes and didn’t really hit it off with the Canadian named Carrie.

Finally everyone went to bed and Carrie and I were left alone to talk in the kitchen. The kitchen talk led to kitchen kissing and before you know it I had found out that she was not wearing any panties. But through my Holmes like deductive skills I knew that something wasn’t quite right and so I sheepishly asked her: “Do you have something inside?” to which I received an unprovoked: “No, I’ve just got a shallow pussy”. My prudishness set in. And let me say I am one of those conservative looking inwardly extreme people. Suffice it to say I kept on and again was met with “resistance”. I plucked up the courage to say: “No , I really think you have something in there” and with deft and nimble fingers, proceeded to slide out and uncork a hard, 7 day old, mucous encrusted tampon.

“The Silver Slug Incident” as Carrie’s house would later call it as though it was all a big joke and not remotely gross. It flopped to the floor with a “flop” and it was kind of like Alladin’s lamp, except that the genie was the worst smell. Kind of like when you walk pass a plot of land and turn to your friend and say: “wow, smells like something is dead in there”. It was the stench of something so putrid and rotten and it went deep inside me. After seeing smelling it she immediately stated: “Oh, my god I am sooo embarrassed.” I, of course, was embarrassed for her and nervously asked if she wanted a bath. “What do you mean?” Not knowing what to say I said with a question: “with me?” Cut to having a bath Cut from bath to spending the night and actually having sex with her because I was to wimpy to say: “That’s gross and I am outta here!”

Cut to the next week in the dvd store that I worked at. She comes in and rents Spiderman. We talk in that “I’m not acknowledging what happened” way. Her flatmate-a girl comes in and also gets Spiderman and with a tiny dvd store full of customers yells out as she leaves: “Oh and by the way…you gave Carrie a yeast infection!”

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/24-people-share-the-grossest-most-unsettling-thing-they-ever-experienced-while-hooking-up/