#crumbsnatcher

[nkjemisin]

I post more pics of Magpie than Ozzy, only because some property of Ozzy makes nearly every pic I take of him blurry. So Magpie is literally more photogenic. Anyway, today Maggie is super proud because he got to go out in the backyard, and he hunted and killed a leaf! He brought me the leaf! He would like to teach me how to hunt leafs too!

I have praised him as a mighty hunter and given him belly rubs. And then I quietly threw the leaf away, because if I don’t he’ll eat it. Magpie eats cardboard, plastic if I don’t catch him quick enough, tried to eat aluminum foil and particle board once. He thinks cornstarch peanuts are the best cat treats. The vet says it isn’t pica; Magpie is just always hungry, and will eat anything he thinks is food. (But he’s not the brightest bulb on the porch, so “if he can bite into it” + “mostly not moving” = “food” in his mind.) I almost named him “Crumbsnatcher” when I got him, but I’m glad I stuck with Magpie, especially given this new habit he has of collecting things.

ETA: alt: A plump tuxedo cat sits looking up at the camera happily. At his feet is a dried up leaf.

[xxemosceneacidscumxx]

Jeff the killer x FEM! Reader

~A blinkless gaze~

Part two

(Song: Chop Suey by System Of A Down)

"Cmon y/n Chop suey!" I faintly heard as I was waking up. Suddenly I was being shaken "whaaa whattt?" I blurted as I popped up groggily. "Today is the first day of summer!!" Mom said in a sickeningly cheery tone. Dammit. "Nooooooooooooooooooooooo" I said putting the blanket over my eyes. "Yes." Mom said pulling them off of me. "Ok fine!" I said getting up and getting in my drawers looking for an outfit. "Don't wear too much jewelry, might get ruined." "Ok mom" I polled on my mcr t shirt and brushed my hair, after I did that I put on my favorite shoes. Then I brushed my teeth and ate. "Ok I'm ready" I said sighing.

Time skip

I held my breath as we walked into the dreaded walls of heavensport mental hospital. I tried to look happy instead of pissed but, I don't know how well it was working. We walked up to the desk. "Hi Jan!" Mom exclaimed to the lady at the desk. "Hi M/n!! How're you doin'??" "I'm doing great, I brought my little crumbsnatcher." She said gesturing to me. I looked at her with a grim face not daring to say a word about her calling me that in puplic. "Hi." I said. "Aren't you a doll." Jan exclaimed. "Thank you" I said quietly. "Welp I'm sure you know the drill, I'm clocking in!" "Alright don't get murdered!" Jan said jokingly. "Ha ha." Mom replied. We were finally making our way down the hall after what felt like forever. "Crumbsnatcher??" I said looking at mom. She smiled at me. We walked in silence as we made our way to the rec room. "Okay, y/n here's the rules, don't get too close to him he's still pretty aggressive, I've seen him try to bite, scratch, head butt, and even punch, don't disagree with him he will cuss you out, and do as I do. OK?"

"If he's that dangerous why do you want me here?" I tried to reason again. "Because I want you to be strong" she said smiling. I rolled my eyes. We walked in and walked all the way to the end of the courtyard thingy and then I saw him, Jeff the killer. He looked absolutely pissed. As we got closer my mom said hello to the guard and Jeff was just staring at me. We locked eyes. My e/c ones with his bright frosty blues. It made me nervous, I couldn't read his facial expressions as he had no eyelids. Then I did something really dumb. "Hi." I sad quietly as I waved. He looked shocked for a second. "Hi." He responded in a tenor sounding voice. Mom was still chatting it up with the guard. That woman just doesn't hush sometimes. Jeff cocked his head to the side. "You're pretty what's your name?" I was taken aback by how straightforward he was. Uhhhm. I thought as I looked over at mom. For some reason I don't want her to know that I'm making small talk. "I'm y/n" I said. "What's your name?" I asked just because. He started laughing. "I think you know it already. "Yeah" I nodded. He started thrashing about for a second. what the fuck??? I stepped back a bit. "Are you ok?" "I've got an itchhh." "Where?" " On my neck" I walked over at scratched the back of his neck. "Here?" "No up more." I went higher "ohhh yep that's the spot" I heard mom stop talking. I quickly removed my hand from his neck. "This is my daughter." She said to the guard. "Hi." I said "hi, I'm hal." He responded. I sat on the bench next to Jeff. Mom gave me a warning look. Jeff's head swiveled around from looking at the guard to staring at me. I would've stared back but for some reason I couldn't. I tried to, but every time I'd just get flustered. The day went on and despite what mom told me he didn't do anything too terrible all day. At lunch I sat across from him we ate and then the day went pretty fast

Time skip to being in the car.

"Y/n." Mom said in the familiar dangerous tone. Uh oh. "Yes?" "I told you not to get close to him." "He had an itch" she raised her eyebrow. "So?" "He didn't try anything." "Yet." Mom said. When we got home I changed my clothes and collapsed on my bed. And I couldn't stop thinking about Jeff. I was kinda excited to see him again. Ok stop that's enough. Don't be stupid he's a serial killer wtf. And. Then I fell asleep

[cptnbeefheart]

i think its so sillay del & ice cube are cousins AND its so sillay that ice cube was like “yea we’re cousins. i tried to get him into gangster stuff but he’s just fucking weird idk” in ya lil crumbsnatchers

[sowingseedsandshootinghoops]

The Ego of a Mouse: The Poetry of Homer

Note on the text: I used Poems from Greek Antiquity as edited by Paul Quarrie and published by Everyman Library in 2020.

Batrachomyomachia is a really funny short poem that is meant to be a parody of the Homeric epic style. In fact Homer, who wrote The Iliad and the Odyssey, is one of the proposed authors of this text although this has never been irrefutably proven.

In this poem, a frog comes to a watering hole and asks the mouse that he sees there who he is. The mouse answers in a gloriously hubristic, hilariously funny, ridiculously long, monologue that successfully lampoons the “epic” Homeric style. It is also a not so subtle jab at the ego of man- at how we keep assuming that we are the most powerful creatures in the universe despite not even being the most powerful creatures on this planet. Our ability to consistently prop ourselves up, to argue that we are the pinnacle of creation is slightly ridiculous. And for what it’s worth Batrachomyomachia is a Greek word that actually means a trivial altercation: 

Known to the gods, the men, the birds that fly/ thro’ wild expanses of the midway sky,/ my name resounds; and if unknown to thee,/ the soul of great Crumbsnatcher lives in me./ Of brave Breadwinner’s line, whose sleeply down/ in love compress’d Lickporridgebowl the Brown./ My mother she and princess of the plains,/ where her father Bacongobbler reigns:/ Born where a Cabin lifts its airy shield,/ with figs and nuts, with vary’d dainties fed./ But since our natures nought in common know,/ from what foundation can a friendship grow?/ These curling waters o’er thy palace roll;/ But Man’s high food supports my princely soul./In vain circled loaves attempt to lie/ conceal’d in flaskets from my curious eye./ In vain the tripe that boasts the whitest hue,/ in vain the gilded bacon shuns my view,/ in vain the cheeses, offspring of the Pale,/ or honey’d cakes to which the gods themselves regale./ And as in arts I shine, in arms I fight,/ mix’d with the bravest and unknown to flight./ Tho’ large to me the human form appear,/ not Man himself can smite my soul with fear./ Sly to the bed with silent steps I go,/attempt his finger or attack his toe,/ and fix indented wounds with dext’rous skill./ Sleeping he feels, and only seems to feel./ Yet we have foes with direful danger cause,/ grim owls with talons arm’d and cats with claws,/ and that false trap, the den of silent Fate,/ where death his ambush plants around the bait;/ all dreaded these, and dreadful o’er the rest/ the potent warriors of the Tabby vest,/ if to the dark we fly, the dark they trace,/ and rend our heroes of the nibling race (30-31). 

I love the way that this mouse really does sound like he is one of the Greek heroes of old. The way that he talks about his lineage, the enemies that he has faced, the dangers that he has overcome, you’d think he was Achilles. Hilarious.

[limeade-l3sbian]

Beneficiary Crumbsnatcher?? 😰😰😰😰😰😰

I WAS JUST PICKING THEM AT RANDOM 😭😭

[x-er-0]

...

Connectin dots

Nothin 2 it

[maryjanemarley]

• SPIRITUAL ENSLAVEMENT: THE CHRIST DESTROYED #Jesus #Spirit #Soul #God #Christ #Religion #Christian #Atheist #Serapis #Christianity #JesusChrist #Indoctrination #HolyGhost #WhiteGod #Trinity #Sheeple #CrumbSnatcher #CrumbTV YT: Crumb TV✨📺✨ https://www.instagram.com/p/CTevLEOAddS/?utm_medium=tumblr

[chexawe]

Reposted from @bigbirddirector - DR. KHALID: WHITE DESIGNERS #khalidmuhammad #blackbrandsmatter #blackbusiness #blackbusinessowner #economicindependence #tommyhilfigure #gucci #timberland #walmart #whitesupremacy #niggamentality #crumbsnatcher #crumbtv https://www.instagram.com/p/BzBXChfH6Qv5_hLKfPNQMkCnA-_I5rEjH3H5-Y0/?igshid=6rg2hazl97g1

[spanky606]

@Regran_ed from @yarimakarama - Who Brought the Europeans out of the dark ages? We did! #lookitup #WarriorMode @crumb_snatcher_ #CrumbTV #CrumbSnatcher - #regrann https://www.instagram.com/p/BrZM0ilH-wk/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1mb3in5jgi7is

[lovegenerationfilms]

Just a squirrel that snatched a package of crackers from some unsuspecting soul so brazen lol #ohflorida #crumbsnatcher #squirrel #stopthief #sundayvibes #gotcha #crackers 🐿 https://www.instagram.com/p/BnQL7rhA0F9/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1v1ovh6840nm9

[bourgeoislatte]

I had a great time talking to Brotha Crumb this morning on his platform on IG live. If you missed it, you can check it out on his page. @crumbtv_ He will be hangin out with me on the 22nd of this month on Friday with my cohost @killabe499 on Stationhead. Please come through and check us out. #stationhead #igtv #instagramlive #afrolatinas #colorisminamerica #nationality #race #mestizo #socialissues #cougaruniversity #coffeeandmusic #coffeeandcomedy #crumbsnatcher #crumbtv_ https://www.instagram.com/p/CATThjKgEUf/?igshid=1v5akmqox801g

[wethepits-blog]

My kids man😂😂😂😥😥😫😭😭😭 All this damn baby powder . Woosah😡😂 . Woosah😡❤ . . #wethepits #kids #laundryday #babypowder #crumbsnatcher #pitbullfriends #bullypitbull #myhouse #xlbully #myfamily #daddydaycare #daddydays #damnkids (at Hot Springs, Arkansas) https://www.instagram.com/p/BtkItmThUJq/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=r00xyek5tbz0

[frizzlec0re]

God i want capn crunch

[curvychickfitness]

Said my goodbyes to the Cavaliers earrrly this am! Have a safe drive love y’all! See you in the upper left state haha 🤗😘 #crumbsnatchers #family #rugrats #coasttocoast #wefromthetwofivethree #lakewood #cavaliers (at Fort Hamilton) https://www.instagram.com/p/B05_1ZSnotQ/?igshid=1dxcv3pjpgoo5

[bigbruthag]

My daughter said she wants a brother smh. I told her I'm retired from the baby making business. I just do consultations now.

[davidblaxkin]

#crumbSNATCHER G.Code ft Spot Collins (@gcodegfb ft @spotcollins #CRUMBS BEAT TAPE Now available on SoundCloud (link in biol #instarepost20