#crunchingly

[mercuryferns]

hey idk who needs to hear this but you do not need to be clever in any way. it may be undeniably true that grades do not define intellectual capacity BUT thats also not the mfing point. your value isn’t intrinsically tied to whether or not somebody thinks you have an impressive vocabulary or creative ideas youre dumb im dumb we’re all dumb and thats fantastic

[kafkaequerat333]

Relistened to the Magnus Archives again recently.

Season 1’s ending was bone crawling

Season 2’s ending was skull crunchingly fun

Season 3’s ending was explosively emotional

Season 4’s ending was a shocking and cunning

Season 5’s ending pierced my heart with a knife.

[fallen-shamans-spirit]

Do it. Bone crunchingly pretty, the both of them.

Brittle. Easy to reach. Will would crumble like a glass cabinet. Briggsy would be a mess.

I need to leave. I can't. I need to leave. I can't. I need to leave. I can't. I need to leave. I can't. I need to leave. I can't. I need to leave. I can't. I need to leave. I can't. I need to leave. I can't. I need to leave. I can't. I need to leave. I can't. I need to leave. I can't. I need to leave. I can't. I need to leave. I can't. I need to leave. I can't. I need to leave. I can't. I need to leave. I can't.

[mayra-quijotescx]

the car who mistook the out stoplight at [major road] and [major freeway] for his time to die historic was a cybertruck. a new (paper license plate still on it) cybertruck. because of fucking course it was.

my friend's dad, who is a rather intense Evangelical Christian, got his fender bent on the same day because, at a different Out Stoplight Four-Way Stop, he decided to match wits with a guy in a truck who also thought it was his turn; neither of the two having any wits to speak of, they fell back on mutual death glares as they both tried to (unsuccessfully and bumper-crunchingly) get in front of the other.

If I had the man's phone number and was slightly more of a bastard, I'd just send him "Matthew 20:16" and turn my phone off.

[ellecdc]

🧺 hi lovie!! ive been going back and forth on sending this for like a month bc i didnt wanna be a bother but i just wanna say congratulations??!?? on 2k!?!? all the love!! and support!! 💖💝!!

first off, im a quiet reader but when i tell u i have deleted absolutely deranged comments crying over your writing. i actually love u sm i cant even go to sleep w/o one of ur fics anymore.... a lil treat to end the day 😞💌 but seriously tho i feel like you genuinely help our mental sanity and stability and i wanna thank you for being here <3

i'd love to request matchmaker 💘💘:

favorite colors would definitely be dark green and black (funny bc im a slytherin too 😭)

i love love love reading, listening to music, sleeping (also funny bc i get like none 🤩⁉️) and i play the electric guitar!!

i dont watch a lot of things bc im always just rewatching comfort stuff so erm im just gonna ramble a lot abt my favorite music instead ☠️? here's some music recs 😭? i like a wide range of stuff so one extreme we got like soul crunchingly sad music?? ⁽ᵇᶦˡˡᶦᵉ, ʰᵒᶻᶦᵉʳ, ᵐᶦᵗˢᵏᶦ, ˢᵘᶠʲᵃⁿ ˢᵗᵉᵛᵉⁿˢ ᶠᵗʷ!!⁾. then we have the parasites in me (girlypop music!! taylor, bts, the weeknd and lana!!). then theres the really old and really white man in me (nirvana, rolling stones, beatles, kiss, queen, metallica). then we have the Oldest White Man in me (tchaikovsky, debuss-ing ⁽ᵖˡˢ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ʷᵃˢ ʰᵒʳʳᶦᵇˡᵉ⁾ ⁽ᶦ ᶜᵒᵘˡᵈⁿᵗ ʰᵉˡᵖ ᶦᵗ⁾ and einaudi). also only one im a lil ashamed of but that Younger White Boy in me... (cant believe im admitting this but like. travis scott, jack harlow, lil nas x and metro boomin are lowkey fire...) (im an afab girl btw mdsjksjds i feel like i should mention that with all these white male jokes help) (sorry for this genuine brick wall of text help)

PLS i didnt mean to rambfl so much im sorry. but erm. favorite animal. cats!! and wolves!! i feel like the internet's ruined it with all the jokes but oh i was born to be a lil wolf frolicking with the gang getting up to shenanigans in the woods :(

again, not to be a bother pls feel free to skip over this one if you have too many asks to get through!! i rambled way too much xmksdjjk 😭 (bonus question + reverse matchmaker but im curious abt who you would ship yourself with?!?!! (i'd guess barty or james!?!)) sending so much love 🎀💖

"because you didn't want to be a bother" BESTIE......you don't bother me please for the love of god send the asks and the comments, I'm begging you [especially if you're gonna be a cutie pie]

the parasites in you hahahaha ok so I want to say Sirius because of the slytherin/opposites attract kind of thing but I also think you guys have a lot in common re: music lovers. also he would love to frolic in the woods with you.

It also gives me Barty vibes? Because your music is so all-over the place [in the best way] which is so Barty-core tbh. I think he too would like to frolic in the woods with you <3

-> as for your question; I've always considered myself a Remus girlie. but I was asked this earlier on in my celebration and people had me answer the questions and they also shipped me with James and Lily!! so that's fun you're adding Barty hahaha

thanks for playing xx

[megsiepoo]

How do you feel after writing your bone crunchingly good fics? I bet ur in ur bed smiling. Smug as a bug after writing out all your ideas and posting them, getting ready for the night

It's a pretty mixed feeling actually. There's a brief moment of joy that comes in finishing a project. But inevitably, I end up feeling kind of lost until I'm able to come up with another idea. I've made such a habit writing on my work breaks that I don't know what to do with myself if I have nothing to write. Like something is wrong. That's the perk of having numerous projects going now! There's always something to work on.

I've also never had my writing described as "bone crunching" but I love it, thank you for that vivid and humorous description!

[these-detestable-hands]

hoping the next three paralouges I have lined up are less bone-crunchingly difficult because I don’t think I could emotionally handle that

Iirc then the hardest are Marianne's and both DLC paralogues <3 you're good

[manysmallhands]

My Favourite Songs of 2023 pt. 3: 20 - 11

Carrying on from yesterday’s post: may the penultimate countdown commence!

20. pinkpantheress - Capable Of Love

While Boy’s A Liar was by far the bigger hit, Capable Of Love was the single that captured pinkpantheress at her best this year, combining her sad girl tales of romantic doubt with a beat that goes hard enough to give you a paradoxically huge lift. While i can't help but worry about how terrified she sounds, her super sweet garage pop is a solid favourite of mine and I'll guess I'll just have to reconcile that with my conscience.

19. Jeff Rosenstock - FUTURE IS DUMB

This year’s HELLMODE album saw Jeff in a slightly more reflective mode than usual but FUTURE IS DUMB was a nod to past glories, setting his frustrations about the modern world to dayglo punk pop played fast enough to comfortably sever your head from your body. While the takeaway - “the world doesn’t owe you” - seemed somewhat nihilistic, the general feeling of one man trying to make sense of a collapsing society was as relatable and moving as ever.

18. Black Thought /El Michels Affair - The Weather

On something of a roll after last year’s album with Danger Mouse, Black Thought uses the El Michels band to full effect here as the pair speed up and slow down in perfect coordination on this summeriest of street scenes. Leon Michels works up a blissed out soulscape as the Roots star rhymes with intricacy and precision, by turns laid back and fiercely intense.

17. Aoife Nessa Frances - Fantasy

Grandiose in design and epic in scope, Fantasy (not the Mariah song) takes Aoife’s moody psychpop template and gives it an extraordinary makeover. Decorated with orchestral fantasia, it sounds like the kind of music you might find in a high class opium den and that’s before you even get to Aoife’s velvety swoon of a voice. I honestly didn’t think she had this in her.

16. Billie Eilish - What Was I Made For?

Billie’s second number one was a grower, a pristine piano ballad that managed the tricky business of projecting deep sadness without veering into mawkishness. Bille is ostensibly talking about Barbie (duh), but the lines seem to blur into her own commodification and the notion of becoming “just something you paid for” cuts uncomfortably close to the bone.

15. Caroline Polachek - Dang

While the best songs from the "Desire, I Want To Turn Into You" album were actually from previous years, Polachek finished 2023 with a flourish, issuing a single that was an improvement on every last one of them. Built around a sample that sounds like a cat being strangled and a flash of old Hollywood melody, Dang sounded strange and glitchy but alway compelling. One of the best examples yet of her idiosyncratic vision of pop.

14. Palehound - Route 22 

Palehound’s Eye On The Bat album was their first to really make a dent in me, and Route 22 is both typical of its strengths and a standout on its own merits. Ellen Kempner’s bleary country rock ballad explores the lines between loving someone and the need to be appreciated, with its honesty all the more touching for the beauty of its setting.

13. Wednesday - Chosen To Deserve 

“I was here first!” I cry as I brandish my old Wednesday albums but it’s still a nice feeling to watch the world catch up, as well as interesting to see bands find themselves exalted who wouldn’t have gotten the time of day a few years ago. “Chosen To Deserve” itself is a sweet natured country rocker powered by a bone crunchingly fierce riff, as Karly Hartman’s tales of misspent youth skirt the line between humour and something more uncomfortable.

12. The Mountain Goats - Fresh Tattoo

Jenny From Thebes is an album that requires a little patience but its second single found The Mountain Goats at their most immediate and effective. While it starts life as a breezy narrative ballad, Fresh Tattoo feeds off of its momentum to make a convincing shift to anthemic territory by the last verse. By turns warm, witty and extremely memorable, this is as good as they've ever sounded.

11. Olivia Rodrigo - Get Him Back

Inescapable for months on Radio 1 (where it even had its own jingle), Olivia's love/hate anthem manages to indulge all her best instincts, especially her theatricality and love of 90s guitar rock. Powered by a surprisingly good rap/rock delivery, it’s filled with immensely quotable lines from top to bottom but be sure to seek out the clean version to hear the best one, cos everyone knew that guy was missing a screw!

[themosleyreview]

The Mosley Review: Evil Dead Rise

It's a very rare occurrence these days for a well known franchise to continue after so many breaks inbetween films. Its especially rare for each sequential entry in said franchise to stay true to the style and format of the original film that started it all. The Evil Dead franchise has one of the strongest horror fanbases and like all of you Deadheads, I've enjoyed revisiting each film including the remake and the criminally underrated tv series. When a new film comes out, they tend to focus on the intense supernatural and grotesque horror that original started with versus the campy nature of sequels and the tv series Ash vs The Evil Dead. The wonderment and beauty of the first 2 films is that they stayed small scaled, sadistically violent and featured an obscene amount of gore. This film carries that same tradition and took a more personal approach to its story instead of going the traditional "scary night in a cabin" story. It was so refreshing and powerful in so many demented ways and it didn't pull any punches or waste anytime getting to the nightmare. What I truly loved this time is the family dynamic and their simple yet strong story that gives you enough to care about each character. The nightmare scenario that descends upon this cast was brilliant and each one of them had moments of blood soaked shimmer.

Lilly Sullivan takes the lead as the troubled roadie and aunt Beth. I liked that she has a life altering decision to make throughout the film and how it affects her decisions. She may be the career bound and black sheep of the family, but she is strong willed and dedicated to her extended family. Gabrielle Echols was great as the second youngest sister Bridget. I loved her chemistry with her siblings and how she helped keep the fun in the home going on before the tragedy. Morgan Davies was good and insanely obsessive as Danny. There's always one person in these films that kicks off all the supernatural mayhem and Danny was the one this time. Nell Fisher was excellent as the youngest sister Kassie and she was the last shred of innocence in the film. I loved that at anytime all the family members were in danger and Kassie was not spared at all. She was loveable and you really felt the danger once the horror targets her. Now the best performance in the film hands down goes to the mother of the kids and Beth's sister, Ellie, played wonderfully by Alyssa Sutherland. I loved that we got to know her character first and how much of a loving mother she truly was. It made it all the more heartbreaking to see her go through the intense transformation into one of the most demented Deadites I've ever seen. Her physicality, voice work and manipulation of emotions as a possessed mother that fought to keep her consciousness in the beginning was awesome. It’s when she is truly dead she becomes that unstoppable force of evil. She was absolutely terrifying and fun to watch in every scene and the way she uses her environment was inventive.

The score by Stephen McKeon was perfectly unsettling, boistress and haunting in the best ways. It didn't over take the film as the action delivered the scares, but the score delivered the chills. The sound design in horror films is one of the most essential parts and it was bone-crunchingly superb. The slicing and tearying of flesh, the splintering of wood and even the audio of the priest on the vinyl was creepy and unnerving. The makeup in this film was top notch for a fairly low budget horror film in this day and age. The demonic progression and decay on Ellie was outstanding and hard to look at. She unsettled me every time she was on screen and that is hard to do. The Evil Dead franchise has never been more alive than this and I can't stress enough how great this film was. It lives up to the legacy and builds onto an already strong foundation. Writer and Director Lee Cronin has made a new fantastic chapter in the franchise that satisfies and he should be applauded for his achaievement. This is definitely one of the best horror films of the year. Let me know what you thought of the film or my review in the comments below. Thanks for reading!

[toruandmidori]

Inspired by how soul-crunchingly sugary we find “new baby” cards, we have started making our own!

Cute, vintage, kitsch designs featuring hilariously inappropriate and sassy slogans.

Wish them well as you prepare to not see them for like 5 years with our new retro style babyshower gifts!

Check out our full range here, individual links below: 

IT’S OVER

AS IF!

I CAN’T BELIEVE IT

[lexcellence]

Twice today I've thought "oh, I'll skip my fifteen so I can help these customers out," and twice today I've come across customers so ball-crunchingly asinine that I've immediately took my fifteen after talking to them.

[zen165]

Perfect Keyboard I decided to change the cable for a more resistant one however what came was of great quality too. Crunchingly wonderful keys a wonderful switch for those who like a more glum keyboard so to speak. Several led options besides the corner screen that is perfect. 10/10 Click this

[bliss653]

Perfect Keyboard I decided to change the cable for a more resistant one however what came was of great quality too. Crunchingly wonderful keys a wonderful switch for those who like a more glum keyboard so to speak. Several led options besides the corner screen that is perfect. 10/10 Click on the link here

[fashionandbeautyblog]

Perfect Keyboard I decided to change the cable for a more resistant one however what came was of great quality too. Crunchingly wonderful keys a wonderful switch for those who like a more glum keyboard so to speak. Several led options besides the corner screen that is perfect. 10/10 Go to the link here

[renaissance235]

Perfect Keyboard I decided to change the cable for a more resistant one however what came was of great quality too. Crunchingly wonderful keys a wonderful switch for those who like a more glum keyboard so to speak. Several led options besides the corner screen that is perfect. 10/10 access the link here

[trendytympanum]

Perfect Keyboard I decided to change the cable for a more resistant one however what came was of great quality too. Crunchingly wonderful keys a wonderful switch for those who like a more glum keyboard so to speak. Several led options besides the corner screen that is perfect. 10/10 See here