#cutt1ing

[low-keywannadiern]

today i fought the urge to self harm.

okay so i had a really bad day, and i just really want to put this somewhere so i can be proud of myself. it's 2 am and I was journaling- looking back onto to the day, and it was really fucked up. and I went into a spiral, and i also had a fight with my gf. overall fucked up. I felt the need to burn myself ( previous sh method ) but I couldn't find my lighter. and while rummaging thru my stationary drawer I found my cutter. now- I've never cut myself before. but I stood there for 5 mins staring at the cutter with my hand shaking. i was fighting myself in my head. i broke down a little bit but i put it back and to distract myself I called up one of my friends. did not tell them anything about the incident but just spoke casually. and im proud of myself for not cutting myself.

[kyunzin]

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐚𝐲? - part 1

✰ taglist ✰ @meowx1 @jjksimp3579 @rayamaya @kibananya @perfectlywingedflower @oredfeildo @tinycloudofweed @decayingrats @goldenmarshmellows @zemrry @mrs-kento @fallen--raven @chimmysoftpaws @evilsanzu @kylie2freakyyy @li85367 @celes-tiea @hehehehesthings @mikolaftonsforehead @automaticduckbird @reyyyyyleviii @s0jugirl @cutt1e @jilliand0llarbaby @innertofuheart @junkomitsuki @officialholyagua @medusamara5 @redwolf46 @keikokashi @clownwxrld @mikaronn @meli-137 @sooyeonvida @huboi @gojoslefttoenail @too-pretty-to-live @liyyzie34 @sugurubabe @junkomitsuki @lyn-lotte @fxshiguros @hvucycy @rose2848 @sousblogga @loavibeycipoosan @badbclub

sorry if i tagged you twice or if i tagged you incorrectly 😿

[tiny-flower-fairy]

Cutt1ing in a public space is so alarming but also feels liberating

[alwayscryingsposts]

this is a new account for me so i can start over again not bc i wanna be famous on here just because i want to rant somewhere. 2 years ago i started self harming to feel something new but because of that i got addicted to it started doing it every other day. i started to hate my self i don't think i wanted to die but it was hard to love myself when i hate my body, the way i talk and move. i have always been the biggest one of the friendgroup/class but i wasn't aware that it was a problem until i got around the age of 12 my classmates started saying is was fat and i always just played it off as a joke because i was so young. later on my mom started noticing i was bigger than the other girls and she wanted me to write down everything i ate at what times and how many calories were in there. i think that is the main reason why i did what i did. when i went high school i started cutt1ing, wearing huge clothes to hide my body, for 2 years i was self harming until one summer i was wearing a t-shirt and my mom saw my healed scars on my arm. she tried to talk to me about it but i shut down on her, my dad was just angry at me like always i was the big mistake, he said it was all a big act. that made me feel like i was doing it for attention. somewhere in my self harming period i started eatng less to lose weight. but i was never good at not eating so i started purging. that was my escape. i could eat anything i want if i would just throw it up. i did that for a while. i was skinny back then but i decided to recover and i lost all of my habits and started binging like crazy i gained so many weight and i now feel the heaviest i have ever been. and once again i am the biggest of the group. my mom has never stopped fat shaming me so yes she is the reason i realapsed self harming and i now am going on a diet again.

[ohmygee]

Imagine not feeling anything but only regret, even for breathing