#cuz otherwise id be stuck

[awakened-void-deity]

It feels dumb to reblog the post this is from but POINTS AT U KIND STRANGER [i do not. @ people i do not know so good luck finding me im sorry] I appreciate you.

[cervideity]

YOUR IDEA ABOUT LINK HAVING DREAMS AS VIO IS SO COOL!!! IT'S SUCH A GOOD AND INTERESTING IDEA!!! I have to ask, how do you think Link feels when he wakes up from dreams where he's only one of his separate selves? How do dreams for Green, Red, and Blue tend to play out? Do they have dreams related to their trauma/personal baggage as well?

AWA THANK YOU GENUINELY UR FLATTERING ME.. i was struck by lightngihg. (inspiration, all at once.) Thank you for asking ! this inspired me to flesh out the idea more so here you go :]

Well my logic abt this is based in my own experiences, so id say Off the bat, disoriented. takes a bit to remember hes Link and not one of his parts. could take 5 to 25 minutes. yknow the kind of half asleepness where you dont know youre a person and everything that happened to dream you was Real. that. [perhaps he will seek relief in his companions, only to find them not there.]

if hes Jolted awake by maybe zelda or of his own volition (i can see the two sleeping in the same room for a while directly after the events of the manga. dont wanna lose track of one another n wanna take care of each other). the same but hed snap out of it faster. shed comfort him best she can and then theyd both get up and hang out for Realsies smile. based on what info we have on link im unsure if hed feel comfortable thinking about it too long. i think hed try to distract himself with training or talking with zelda or somethin before confronting that

anyways YEAH i think they would all have their own seprate nightmares, so links brain can process Everything that happened to all his parts. thats what dreams do, they help you file away memory, and links memory is going to be. pretty... fucked. it has to deal with 4 times the amount of information in a single span of time.

[i have a lot of ideas on link recovering (if he needs to) from re-fusion. but tthats for later. i dont really have a single interp its just a playground for me]

funny gif so u dont lose ur place reading. LOL.

some of these are more developed than the others. dw about it

green. i have a concept in my head of him and the others fighting ganon but they fall one by one until just green is left, i think i need to elaborate on that in my head... because of many events, i think green would get nightmares about the friends around him being controlled or secretly monsters.. or hurting a monster that was actually a friend. ahg.g.. grips my hands together so hard they turn white

i think red would have a great time in a nightmare specifically sporting that Fucking coffin, where he is all alone, knows internally (yknow when dreams do that? you dont see it happen you just Know) that all his friends are fucking dead. and he doesnt have his gear. and hes maybee in the temple of darkness and the spooky monsters know hes there and though they arent here yet its just a matter of time. and he needs to sit there and wait to die. because red cant fight back! hes the weakest link! (untrue these are his own thoughts) theres no one to save him, or even die with. he failed. (imagine him with that hopeless depressed expression he makes you know the one)

blue .... i honestly think The Cave on its own is a pretty good nightmare scenario for blue. an enemy you cant touch. a state where you cant move. (blue is a very physical person)........ maybe dreams where hes strapped down to a table or cant move or otherwise in a claustrophoic space. doesnt gotta be freezing just anything to represent paralysis. cuz that happened to him several times. maybe he can watch someone hurt his companions while hes stuck. (thinking of the several green+vio dying scares)

vio.let. this nightmare is the most specific because i saw it in my head before i came up with possible ideas. this dream is meant to process shadows death among other things, so i think itd be reoccuring. It starts with him wandering an empty hyrule castle. he doesnt cast a shadow. hes completely and utterly alone. He wanders room to room. Theres the idea that theres Something wrong in the back of his head. the dream could end here, or it could desend into nightmare territory, he stumbles into a long confusing maze of mirrors. he cant look anywhere but at his reflection, but theres nothing to look at, theyre motionless silohettes. he cant focus he cant make the maze make sense he cant figure out how to escape and he keeps panicking more and more in an internal loop but he doesnt know whats wrong whatd he do ? the final scene is something i didnt draw unfortunately, he finds the room with the dark mirror. his throat goes dry for a reason he doesnt know. he subconciously moves closer. its only the frame. he can step right through it. a portal to nowhere. usually the full weight of the situation clicks Right here and link jolts awake with tears in his eyes.

link also has nightmares where he Isnt these guys and is himself and those ones tend to be what they all experienced. theres a lot of My Loved Ones Are In Danger and i Cant Do Shit. Someone getting injured on his watch, being powerless in one way or another. Powerlessness is a running theme here, haha. I also think sometimes link would get fucked up dreams about being the one physically hurting innocent people. just to fuck with his idea of being a hero. :]

[friendbreakfast]

TIME-SENSITIVE COMMISSIONS OPEN!!

hi hello!! i got a letter from the government telling me a package that i thought had been lost in the mail (cuz of how long it took to arrive) is actually now just stuck in customs

so now i need 50 dollars to complete the amount of money needed to finally take it out of there and finally have what i bought in my hands and it just happens 50 dollars is exactly the cost of two of my commissions so of course im offering them here!! please help!!

the time limit is this april 26 so im already a bit short on time, considering i only get a commission once every like, two months. so i thought id ask directly for help!!!

just DM me if you want to ask for a commission or otherwise offer help (although why would you only help if you could also get art out of it)!!

[leftistaco]

hi

I'm not sure if you're still having issues with moonglow bay but it can sometimes be a little glitch (tho I believe it's worse on console than pc).

You can try reloading the save to the morning (it autosaves every morning) but unfortunately may have to restart if that doesn't help.

Also as a general warning make sure you do the tasks in order and if you enter a cut scene/main quest area don't try to leave it without finishing otherwise it will mess your save up. (I lost two of them this way 😬)

Anyways I hope you are able to play through it and have fun with it!

hi anon! i left your ask in my inbox a while both cuz ive moved blogs (go follow @lettuce-tv if ya havent smile!!) and because id abadoned moonglow bay for a while. i figure out the specific issue but now i am stuck on the second bossfight because i cant figure out the mechanics

[barb-l]

hey! do u have any reccs for wlw kdramas? I'm trying to get into them but I'm not sure where to start.

Oh no, dude. If there are any wlw kdramas out there, id love to watch em too because im not sure there are any that exist rn. There was this one netflix show based on a webtoon that I forgot the title to but the wlw's arent the main protags and the actual leads were insufferable so honestly i cant be bothered to look em up.

If you do still want reccs, these three are ones I highly recommend, tho they arent gay:

Extraordinary Attorney Woo(as youve seen me spam about it just now lmao) - about an autistic woman trying to overcome the obstacles of being a rookie attorney, among other things, because Drama. I'm no professional, but it seems this show did a lot of research and put a lot of care into the characters and storylines. Watch it for: strong female characters and frienships, a Good Dad who isnt killed off just to be the sad backstory and is pretty compelling too, wholesome romance with an actually good man, and the female protag herself. She's just. I love her so much. Idk about how good the cases are written cuz i have trouble wrapping my head around the law and politics, but they're interesting so there's that.

Hotel del Luna - a man gets forced by an immortal woman to work in a hotel for ghosts, where they help the dead with their unfinished businesses so they can move on to reincarnation and avoid damnation. Watch it for: compelling supernatural lore, heartbreaking ghost stories, subverted romantic male/female dynamics, a whole cast of characters that get explored instead of constantly sidelined for the sake of the romance, and an amazingly written female protagonist. (TW tho, at one point there will be an episode about a baby that slowly dies because of neglect...)

My Love from the Stars - about an alien who arrives to Korea during the Joseon era but gets stuck on Earth until the 21st century. Eventually a super famous actress moves into the apartment next door and she is loud and annoying and full of herself but he eventually falls for her, which is just a shame because its finally time for him to go home. Watch it for: the extremely hilarious comedy, a villain who is actually super scary imo, and the actress protag who is Bitch of 'Tude and Dumb of Ass but Pure of Heart.

**Special Mention, i don't necessarily recommend this, but if you're in for some fun cheesiness

Dream High - about a school for performance arts, where an aspiring classic vocalist girl is forced to quit the genre of music she loves so she could sing pop songs and debut as an idol to hopefully pay for her father's debts. It's basically the High School Musical of kdramas, so if you cant stand kpop and amateur acting then dont bother watching it lmao. But otherwise watch it for: the good ol underdog protag trope, cute high school friendships, good songs, lovable characters, and some found family development, especially between the grumpy female protag and the teacher she despised for "stealing her mother".

[siodium]

KOREA DAY 7: MYEONGDONG AND HONGDAE STREETS 🐈‍⬛

our last full day in korea!! decided to roam around myeongdong and hongdae more bc we didn't have any specific plan. except to have isaac toast for breakfast/lunch. the shrimp sandwich was delicious~

also spotted a kimbap place next to isaac toast and i realised i haven't had kimbap at all during this trip?? so i got one just to check it off my mental to-do list. i had a bit of trouble chewing through the seaweed but otherwise the taste was pretty good.

afterwards we went to a cat cafe (cat playground 고양이놀이터 myeongdong branch) that we saw on our way to isaac toast!! there were so many cute and floofy cats there!! some of them looked so grumpy like i owed them money but that's cute too.

dinner was at a jeon place in hongdae?? unfortunately i didn't catch the name of the restaurant. the seafood jeon was sooo good omg. there was also honey makgeolli on the menu and i wanted to try so i ordered but our server wanted to see both of our IDs even though i was the only one drinking (ban doesn't drink) and ban left her phone in the hotel so she didn't have any form of ID on her. the exchange that ensued was so funny LMAO. it was a comical back and forth of "pls i'm flattered that you think i'm not even 19 years old but i'm actually almost 30" and "no i need to see your ID". in the end i did a google translate of "she doesn't have her phone with her and she won't be drinking" on my phone and the server let us have the alcohol heheh. i'm glad that i didn't have to forgo the drink bc it was actually so tasty (and also hard to find in sg?? i heard).

after dinner, we strolled around hongdae and checked out some of their clothing stores. saw a rly nice skirt but i didn't get it cuz i couldn't justify $80 for the last piece. :/

we wanted to stretch out our last day as much as we could so at around 10 pm when the stores started to close, we went to get a mango cheesecake bingsu at sulbing to share~

ofc couldn't pass up an opportunity to take more pics at a photobooth for the last time on this trip!! we're pros now.

more pics (mostly cattos) + our chaotic return flight day under the cut ↓↓↓

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KOREA DAY 8: LOTTERIA, MADE BY, BACK HOME 🐸

we had a flight at 11 am but we overslept and only woke up at 10 am. 💀 it was not a good idea to leave all the packing to the last minute bc we were at it til 4 am?? ? there was no delay this time so we had to re-book our flight. luckily there was a t'way flight back to sg at 7 pm on the same day. phew almost got stuck in korea lmaoo.

welp after securing our flight tickets, we went to lotteria for lunch. no pics cuz i was kinda hungry bUT THE SHRIMP BURGER WAS SO GOOD. pls come to sg, lotteria sunbaenim.

we had less than 5 hours til check-in and it wasn't a lot of time but we decided to head back to the city area bc there was nothing to do at the airport. that caused another round of chaos LMAO. the trip to the city took about 1.5 hours which meant that we had pretty much only an hour to do whatever we wanted to do. we could only visit one last place due to the time constraint, so we went to check out a stationery store (made by) in hongdae that i bookmarked but we haven't been to. i dropped a good $50 there on cute stationery (and also partly out of stress bc i was upset about losing my hookkahookka studio tortoise keychain bUT it turned out i still had it?? the bead chain got stuck to one of my magnets so i didn't see the keychain when i was packing my suitcase).

what we didn't account for was that the airport railway would take 5000 to 6000 won per trip?? and ban didn't have enough on her transport card for our return trip to the airport. sooo there was a bit of panic at the station trying to find an ATM to withdraw cash to top up her card.

not us almost missing our flight for the second time in a day. @w@ we legit had to run across the airport to make it for check-in.

i've never heard of t'way but it's a korean budget airline?? the plane was so empty though. the entire middle section had like nobody?? and ppl were lying down across the seats trying to sleep??

i seriously considered to go lie down as well until the plane went free falling for like 3 seconds?? ppl were screaming and there was no announcement or anything to address what just happened?? idk after that ban and i were too scared to move out of our seats (i gave up my toilet going plans too) so we just stayed awake together for the rest of the flight watching a studio ghibli movie and some episodes of vanitas no carte (!! it was on my to-watch list for a long time and i finally started it!!). nothing else happened after that though.

anyway we made it back to sg safely!! i joined ban's family (minus her mum) for supper at a ramen place before heading back home to s L E E P.

[tears-of-boredom]

tumblr is lagging in a weird way so i dont know if this is gonna post but

what if I killed myself huh, would that give a chance at the life ive always wanted. i dont even really want to kill myself right now, sometimes specific words just sound right when out together. also earlier i was repeating "she needs to sort out her priorities" in my head because that is the equivalent of vocal stimming to my quiet ass. also yeah im kinda sad about the vibe ive created in my mind around harry potter. its this non-existant thing but still i get like really wishful and sad whenever I think about harry potter. and by "non-existant" i mean that the vibe was completely created by ATYD and is associated in my brain with the whole hp world forever now. and its kinda awful. but also I shouldnt beat myself up over this. because im pretty sure the only reason the vibe stuck so hard is because when i was in one of my earliest depressive episodes, imagining conjuring flowers for myself was how i spent many sleepless nights. but also I'm pretty sure my mom isnt aware of what kind of person jk is, and its really awkward cause we have like two hp mugs and I wanna throw them out but then she said that if I dont wanna use them, she could put them in between the window panes. as decorations. which is even worse. it would be better if the reason we have them still is "we use them to drink stuff.". but I was really fucking tired when she said that and i didnt wanna get into conflict. anyways what the fuck was I talking about im so sorry. guess ive just been dealing with the guilt of still wanting to enjoy the idea of harry potter that i have in my head. and the fics. which admittedly suck a lot of the time. honestly like if you write hp fics just dont mention the differing dorms its really fucking weird, dont keep that weird sexist shit in. I mean, thats assuming that you don't like jk. cuz if you did you'd probably like the sexist shit. you'd probably like how every single fic has at least one "group of giggling girls". anyways yeah i dont really hate myself today, i just think my hormones are a bit rowdy. so i just feel shitty for no reason. its honestly the worst when you cant even pinpoint why in the fuck you feel shitty. anyways im gonna listen to music now because i have not done that in a long fucking while. seriously, i have not had the need to leave the house for so long that id take my earbuds, and otherwise ive been tiring myself out playing on the ps4 so ive not even realised its a thing i can do.

oh cool you can add the read more thing on mobile now.

[animtrash]

Holy shit being into f1 means seeing some very stupid opinions on the teams and drivers. A lot of this is a response to a post that im not gonna put here cus its just fucking stupid. But tldr i watch f1 as a hater. I want most of the drivers and teams to do well. Except russell, lance and ocon. Russell is a spoiled brat. Lance is even worse. And ocon is a cheap fuck who isn't that good but acts like he is. Otherwise anyone else can win or get a podium or points, but i also want those three to get passed, crash, or have problems.

Aston poached their way into a winning position. Lance should realize that his best bet for the team is to be a bad and dangerous driver up at the front to knock out anything that isnt alonso. Like i know he's the reason that team is what it is but if daddy looks at the prize money as a goal, he'll tell his shit kid to jump out of the way for alonso. He wont tho, he dropped several fucking hundred mil on his stupid child.

Alfa Romeo and alpha tauri really have no excuse to be as trash as they are. They're getting beat by haas who have only finally gotten enough money to hit the budget cap. Alfa has the same engine and they're unable to make a car that can go to the end. Every single time. Bottas lost his fastest lap gamble because they cant make an f1 car run the distance of an f1 race. Alpha tauri aka minardi, they took one of the brightest rookies. A proven champion is other sports and shoved him in a shitbox. Nyck deserves better. Yuki deserves better too. Both teams have access and options to be better and dont have an excuse to me any more. Alfa especially, they have audi, i know their involvement is staged to increase into 26 but they should be looking over saubers (alfa) work cuz its not like sauber know how to make a winning car.

Then its the same issue but different for McLaren. They made a huge shitstorm happen with contracts over oscar and what do they have to show for it? Him being able to get into q3, get tapped to the back and then overtake sargent at the end so hes not last. The actual fuck. McLaren seems to forget that their car, while not able to catch a redbull in pace, needs to be able to hold together to the end of a fucking race.

Sargent is picking up ok, hes keeping the car on the track. Hes not exceptional, not that ive seen yet, and his car isnt helping him. I feel like theres a handfull of better drivers but he got hired as an ass backwards ploy for US marketing. Heres the thing, Americans™ want to see every other country losing to it. Putting an American in a williams is asking for the brain dead, nationalistic, psychos you want to watch f1 to watch it once and then hate f1. Its not gonna work in America cuz he isnt being given a 3 lap lead start so he never gets passed. Nyck showed some real strength last year but in a tauri isnt doing him favors. Seems like hes doing ok in there. But unless he can show a ton of talent he'll end up like hulk, same with oscar. Oscar getting to q3 and then getting knocked out in the 1st lap really screwed his chances, again, and the McLaren wasnt strong enough to let him shine.

Zhou and bottas are being screwed. Zhou really can keep the car on the track but dosent have the extra pace to get ahead. Id bet he gets dropped when alfa becomes audi or sooner. If he can help funding the team i could see him staying in there. But not if they want to start pushing for wins. I like zhou, he seems nice but i dont see him being a winning driver. If bottas doesn't retire i can see him leading audi and then being the second man to whatever young gun shows up to replace zhou as world champion.

Seeing hamilton so pissed by the merc is kinda sad. I hope the car gets better but also he should kinda calm down, max is similar he bitches like no other if the car is slightly off. I cant imagine either of them settling for a lesser team. Idk, just talking shit. Kimi complained a lot too but stuck with that shit box alfa.

Seeing ferrari just be so mid is kinda sad too. Seeing them start so strong last year and the just be left in the dust off the line this year is pretty sad. Sainz is a great driver but leclerc really deserves better, especially after last season. Having his car fail out on the first race isnt promising either.

Also at the end, in the winners circle, seeing jost not even able to look as checo was hilarious. Like man you were a mid tier f1 driver. Fucking chill. You really weren't all that to be acting so fucking rude. Whatever is happening over at redbull they need to ban his disrespectful ass from the infield, i dont care if that somehow makes max a worse driver or what. Get that hateful man out of the paddock please. Like any time you look at him, he looks like he wants to hit whoever is next to him. Just unnerving. Your son wasn't able to catch his teammate this race, so what? He literally broke a win record last year and is still leading the championship this year. Its fine, but no papa verstappen looked like he was gonna gouge checos eyes out.

Also saw something about alonso "starting to smell blood in the water"... Um ok, if by waking up from his super competitive deep sleep is letting max bast past him without a single defensive move on the straigh ist "smelling blood" ok sure dude. The guy is happy, hes doing well. he could drag aston to 3rd in the team championship and take the drivers title but right now hes happy hes in a car that isnt falling apart every 12 laps. I dont see a super competitive aspect of alonso waking up. The man is fuckin chillin.

The upgrades teams make through a season make a difference but in recent years i cant think of a time where a teams upgrades propelled them above and beyond 3 team places in terms of pace. Im not saying redbull is gonna hold a 1,2 show every weekend and alonso will be 3rd. Merc and ferrari can still make ground. If merc can fine tune an aston style copy thell start hitting the podium. Ferrari seems to be at their limit. And we really havent been able to see a McLaren take a fight for a full distance. They could easily be at the front, as their best of the rest spot. If alfa can make bottas' car reliable then i can see him in the top 10 a lot too. I dont see williams or alpha tauri improving much though, thatd be great but id be really surprised to see them doing well. I just hope that in this whole season lance doesn't get one single podium. Fuck him. Everyone else, good luck.

Also the people talking about the imsa and wec hypercars are mostly saying a bunch of stupid dumbshit but with all the new Brands™ joining its not surprising. Like the vanwall simps are fawning over a team that actually did a hostile takeover for the name and spent most of their time in lower classes not being very successful there either, vanwall isnt gonna be impressive you idiots. The fact that a team cant even register for a race properly should tell you they dont have their shit together.

[faggotgamzee]

hello i have a skephalo vampire au that ill never write but i want it out of my head, a plot outline under the cut, feel free to do whatever the fuck you wanna do with this id just love to see it if you do

Skephalo vampire au: Bbh meets skeppy in the most unfortunate of circumstances, 12 year old skeppy gets bitten and kept as a vampire spawn with no will and servant to the vampire that bit him, bbh and his mentor raid the place and kill all the vampires, bbh takes pity on young skeppy, not being capable of killing a child he decides to feed him the blood of the vampire that bit him to free him of the trance and orders him to run, unbeknownst to his mentor. Time skip 8 years later skeppy has left his hometown where he was bitten and is doing very well for himself, he is a very adept vampire with a clan thats like a family (think idots, invadedlands gang) he is rich and invests in real estate (lol) but tells people he is a magician for a living. Vampires in this au can be in the sun but only for short amounts of time otherwise they’ll get bad skin burns eventually think 2-3 hours max, skeppys strong suit is that he can stay out in the sun double the amount and skeppy is very adept at using vampire compulsion in a way that makes people not realize, it’s very soft and more of a suggestion and planting ideas in people's heads he is also very good at blending in with normal people. Skeppy decides he wants to go back to where he grew up on a whim one day, either to confront his past or something like that, everyone disagrees with him and the he shouldn't because that area isnt a safe space for vampires due to vampire hunters but he decides to hell with their warnings and leaves, they all follow him one by one eventually because theyre worried for him and theyre not gonna leave him alone in case he gets in trouble In almost a string of fate type deal he immediately runs into bbh in a bakery/coffee shop looking for muffins, skeppy recognizes bbh and is almost floored he is just standing there staring at him in shock before he realizes he should probably act normal, he says hi and then he is worried at first that bbh will recognize him but he doesn't skeppy has changed very much from when he was 12, skeppy almost considers following bbh but he knows he is a hunter and doesn't want to risk it, instead he camps out the shop hoping to see him again and he does, bbh comes in every couple days for muffins and coffee After a while he works up the courage to approach him out of impulse and to talk to him he doesn't know what compels him but he needs to know more about him Essentially he tries super hard to befriend him, after a couple false assumptions about dating and a LOT of suspicion and shut downs, bbh agrees to hang out with him after skeppy tells him he is a magician and he gets roped in to do a show for kids that bbh teaches and skeppy is floored thats the thing that gets him to open up Bbh hasnt been a hunter in a long time, he works as a teacher’s assistance for elementary kids, he does become a sort of a mentor to the dteam in terms of vampire hunting picking them up like strays over the years, dream especially is very gungho about being a hunter after a bad experience with werewolves and he is very good at studying and the reputation of the area being dangerous for the paranormal comes from him (i think itd be cool if he gets bit and turned into a vampire later on and skeppy gives his help and its a secret between them)

George comes from a family of witches/warlocks so he is already familiar with the paranormal he met bbh when they were both highschool age and they kinda just.. Knew that the other knew and stuck together Sapnap was bad’s first stray he (dream being second) that he picked up after saving him he was orphaned after a real bad vampire attack and sapnap just kinda stuck to him like glue bad tried to avoid him but sapnap is persistent and real quickly bad kinda just warmed up to him and started teaching him and took on a more father figure role for him Everyone jokes that skeppy really seems to want to date bad cuz skeppy is obsessed with bad and no one realizes why skeppy is so fascinated by bad in that he saved his life years ago, he knows bad would kill him if he knew what he was so he keeps it a secret and he is very good at blending in, he keeps wanting to see how far he can take it and after a bet from one of the idots (they dont know bad is a hunter) that he wouldnt be able to drink bad’s blood he takes it to a next level and starts a dance between them, bbh is immediately suspicious of skeppy and shares that suspicion with dteam only to be met with something along the lines of not everyone who is interested in you is out to kill you Skeppy enjoys toying with bad and seeing how far he can go, its maddeningly harder than he thought to drink his blood, bbh is very prepared and very vigilante, any attempts of following him home are moot he always loses him, he still manages to fuck with him, bad is always doubting if skeppy is a vampire or not until he isnt either via dream getting bit and skeppy helping him and it coming out or something like that, but its important for it to come out after bad and skeppy have grown inseperably close so he doesnt kill him immediately lmao Notable mentions technoblade and skeppy both were orphan vampires in a city and have a sort of camaraderie between them

[emobatsy]

Relationship status: married. its our 6 year anniversary this sunday and i could not be happier about it ;A;

Color: i lov a mossy green from bright to dark, more yellow than blue! but apart from black the one colour i was consistently hogwild for was a red so dark it was almost brown or black lol

Three favorite foods: my husband's feta sauce with spaghetti, my grandma's white cabbage with potato dumplings and my mom's tagliatelle broccoli casserole. im a simple man ok

The song stuck in my head: same falling asleep playlist as ro lol high five but also. fucking. on my way. phil collins. from the brother bear soundtrack. everytime i leave the house my stupid brian goes "tell everybody im on my way" on a loop and listening to the song doesnt fix it cuz i tune it out cuz i have no fuckin attention span waurgh lmao

The last thing I googled: 5 related searches of me trying to figure out wtf the name of the colugo was to show my husband in the epic battle of "which monkey would you be", yes honey, you're an emperor tamarin :)

Time: 21:04 GMT+1

Dream trip: rn id kill to like just float in the dead sea. some saltwater would be so good for me rn lol, i wanna see a ray so bad maybehaps too. otherwise. probably go to the us n visit my friends across the pond! wanna drink hot choccy with ro n the geese ykno

Anything I really want right now: to have passed my last exams. also for my husband to not work too long so he can make bifteki i am just very friend and food oriented, you couldve domesticated me sooooooo easily in the paleolithic age <3

tagged by @asterochares from a sideblog i thot was a porn bot (wuv u ro) im tagging my beloved @rascheln the only person allowed to tag ME in tag games: @thetendershark and my worstie who needs to take a break soooo bad rn: @ingoldenlight i hope you are all well i think of you often and fondly <33

[fishmech]

Animorphs

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most): TOBIAS. I've been thinking about him at least once a week for like. 25 years now. Tobias was the first character I ever wrote and posted fanfic about and I have literally no idea where it went. It probably wasnt very good cuz id have been 7 or 8 at the time but still.

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped): i'm gonna go with AX. Ultimately he's kind of a doofus who knows less about what's he doing than a lot of the other people involved.

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave): CASSIE. I feel like people have always underrated and underappreciated her. This is kinda about bringing up like fandom grudges from the 90s/early 2000s but she got really short shrift in a lot of fan stuff and of course there was a massive amount of people being racist to her and hating on her for being the more pacifist main character.

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week): Aftran 942. She only shows up in like two books and gets mentioned in another but her story is good.

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave): the entire Skrit Na species. vaguely evil but fun. only care about doing space capitalism and randomly flipping between atrocities and giving out greatly useful stuff in exchange for weird worthless collectibles. and of course the total body metamorphosis stuff lol. poor little meow meows indeed

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason): Esplin 9466. yeah i want to just fuck around with visser three eternally. dumb stuck up asshole guy!!

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell): DAVID. he got what he deserved but he needs even more of it.

[charmspoint]

Dr Stone review

Finally done catching up with dr stone! I don't feel like I have much to say that I haven't said when I watched the anime or during the manga reading but I really enjoyed it! I don't have much of a science brain so most things just flew straight over my head but I can only imagine now fun this manga is for people who are interested in this stuff.

I heard before i started reading that the characters don't get much development and that we don't know most of their backstories and I thought that would grate on me eventually because i'm a very character oriented person. And that is true, there aren't really characters arcs I can point to and very few characters receive any tangible development that isnt enemy turned friends (Chrome and Suika are exceptions that first come to mind). But that didn't make the story dull at all! Dr Stone is very plot and progress focused and it's more of a story about the humanity than Senku's story. And i ended up really liking that! I really liked the growth of the community from one dude in the jungle to multiple cities working together, I really liked how much the power of humanity as a whole was emphasized. In dr stone its clear everyone has something to offer. Senku is the mover and shaker because he possesses the most how-to knowledge but without different people who have different talents he wouldn't be able to get anywhere no matter how smart he was. Idk it's just rare to find a manga so community focused instead of putting everything on a handful of protags so it's just !!! it's good I like it. It kinda lets you immerse yourself more like, I'm not as smart as Senku nor am I strong as Tsukasa but the more i read the more i've found myself in other characters and i could think of ways i too would be useful in a stone world. It's a lot different that the usual 'well im not a fighter so id be totally useless in this shonen setting'. It's fresh! I like it! And even tho the characters don't grow much they are all fun and memorable people so you'll hardly get bored of them in the first place and there is so many of them and they all work so hard it's doubtful you'll ever get stuck for long with one you don't like.

Boichi's art has been a topic for me and my brother for quite a bit now, since it's...like that when it comes to girls, but also i weirdly?? Didn't mind it?? Like yeah if you look at some shots for too long your eyes hurt but somehow despite the art being horny the writing is so unhorny it kind of balances out? Like i told this to my brother before but there's no 'seeing a girl naked when she doesn't want you to' scene or anything similar to that despite the art looking Like That. Like Kohaku is obviously the worst offender with her weird battle poses but they are just??? in midst battle??? in midst running or looking for something or otherwise being active and affecting the plot. Like the art is horny but it never feels like the purpose of the scene is to be horny, the purpose is never 'lets all ogle Kohaku now'. I said it to my brother and I'll stand by it: I think this is just how Boichi thinks girls are drawn.

But other than that I do enjoy the way Dr Stone handles romance when it does emerge it has such a good take on it. Like Senku isn't interested in romance At All and it's such a nice character trait to see for a protagonist, it's showing kids you can be a full and interesting person even when you don't want to get involved with anyone. And the romantic pairings we do have (Yuzuriha and Taiju, Chrome and Ruri) are so goddamn good and sweet and supportive and silly, i feel like the story is really telling the boys that usually read shonen manga 'girls like it when you're nice to them' which considering some of them might be attracted to dr stone cuz kohakus butt on cover is a very good thing.

Also Senku is just such a good protagonist I honestly love him. Usually in Shonen the protagonist is the character i care about the least but Senku is just!! so good!! Like at first glance he comes off as asshole but I honestly don't think he ever really brags and is always so open to learning and teaching others and despite being verbally unkind he shows so much with his actions. He is a perfect example of someone who shows his love and appreciation for others by making their lives nicer and easier. He is confident in himself and he never gives up and keeps trucking along but is also ready to be humble and admit when he can't do something or when someone can do it better than him. And he does it all while keeping the cool cocky persona so I think he's also a good remodel for young boys to emulate.

Anyway loved it 8/10, my favorite arcs are Senku's dads and Suikas i cried

[us-ugay]

Omg the potluck… genius. A prime moment for bragging and Arthur would be SO mad he can’t really compete w Alfred’s crockpot rips recipe from allrecipes dot com.

Omg tho a key thing i forgot about the retreat idea: if you rent an air bnb you gotta cook, and I know for us they had everyone sign up and pair off to make different meals. Them getting stuck cooking together for COWORKERS on this awkward as hell trip. Alfred would probs very quickly realize that arthur has no idea what he’s doing and he has to 1) make and serve a bad meal w arthur (both have wounded pride) 2) making something good and taking full credit (mean, pisses off arthur in a non-beneficial or funny way) 3) awkwardly try to teach arthur how to make like. Spaghetti sauce lmfao.

Also I think alfred is probs the guy who chronically loses his ID to get into the building and different areas. I can see him awkwardly knocking on the door to get someone to let him in and Arthur just smugly holding up his own badge through the glass before letting him in and making the SNIDEST remarks he can. Or worse, alfred getting up to go get lunch and Arthur just “:)don’t forget your badge, alfred:)” after he’s half way across the room and alfred having to realize Arthur is RIGHT and having to slink back over to his desk to grab his badge.

Also, two words: secret santas.

the idea of office retreats requiring you to sleep in an airbnb with coworkers AND cook for them was so awful it slapped me fully out of my immersion and fantasy anon dont tell me youve had to do that before 😭 no amount of overtime would make that ok

if my company ever announced a retreat that will be the first time in my life i give my two weeks notice absolutely the fuck not

ok back 2 the AU i absolutely used to be the bitch that left my card home and id always have to ask my old boss to come down and get me in the elevator and nothing is more humbling and humiliating than that shit eating grin of a person coming to get your stupid ass because you have to wear womens business pants and they dont have real fucking pockets and so your card is always fucking falling out and so you tried to keep it in your purse but then itd get lost and it was always a pain in the ass to fish out to flash at the elevator scanner and its not fair cuz your boss just gets to have normal ass back pockets that are bigger than a fucking business card and he also gets to keep his key card in his stupid little wallet that he can keep in his stupid pocket and even thinking about it makes you wanna commit homicide 😤😤😤

also the secret santas? i know some offices will have folks fill out a little “get to know me” card so people arent just buying random ass shit for folks and the thought of those two filling them out and realizing slowly as they go through that damn they dont have favorite anythings or shit they like or whatever and it dawning upon them that their whole lives are dedicated to work 🙃 fun fun

i imagine arthur has to shop for alfred because arthur strikes me as a guy to just have the worst fucking luck and always gets stuck doing the one (1) thing he doesnt wanna do (which, same girl) and alfreds likes are all the most generic bullshit imaginable (which arthur doesnt put two and two together and realize alfreds in the same bot as him and just thinks alfreds the most annoying blandest person on the planet)

but arthur cant just give alfred some generic ass gift because this is an opportunity to Flex and Win against alfred so as much as it pains and kills him to spend even more time looking at and thinking about alfred (which lets be real, he may have convinced himself otherwise but he quite likes how alfred fills out his collared shirts and business slacks) and it idk what he decides to go with for the limited amount of money they get to spend but its a shockingly spot-on gift that alfred loves but of course alfred cant show /too/ much appreciation cuz he cant let arthur win but also he cant just be a grade A dick either cuz then the rest of the office will think hes an ingrateful bastard

but arthur sees that brief moment where alfred shows his genuine emotions of shock and happiness even if it was almost instantly covered up by alfred acting like his usual jackass self and while yeah, he should be celebrating the victory over alfred, his heart is beating so hard in giddiness at seeing alfred look so happy

and hey, maybe this is right before that fated christmas party 👀

[normal-thoughts-official]

Makoto plot line by Lêx?

thank you for this totally 100% spontaneous ask that you sent of your own free will, anon!

okay, so here's the thing. i dont like makoto. not really. he's annoying af and basically useless. bitch does nothing but hide behind haru cuz he's scared of everything and be blushy and soft in that spineless way, you know? like he just lets everyone push him around and treats everyone in such an unfuriatingly uniform, fake-cheery, ultra helpful way that it's his whole personality

but here's the thing! it gets sad. you know? especially considering how he, like, seems to basically live to enable haru? in all the worst ways. like it's nice of course that he helps haru with his depression but there's a point when it becomes enabling and that point is when makoto is running after haru all the time trying to solve his messes, remind him of his own damn responsibilities, and basically take care of haru's whole life so he doesn't have to. again, helping is good, but by worrying about the things haru doesn't worry about and preventing him from facing the consequences of not doing anything basically lmao he enables haru to never fucking get out of his constant stupor. also, as previously said, he's spineless, which means that he never truly goes against haru's wishes. so like. enabler. bad

which is my main beef with makoharu, which is actually the most popular ship in the fandom because ppl have no taste and also dont know how to interpret shit. tho tbh even makoharu shippers are like "i ship makoharu because makoto deserves to be happy and he wants haru!" so even they acknowledge that.... haru isn't into him lmao. but anyway

point is: they pull each other back. im not gonna say it's abusive or something cuz i don't think it is, i wouldn't even call it toxic, but it's stale in the worst kind of way. makoto enables not only haruka's depression, but also his self destructive and to some extent relationships destructive behavior, setting his growth back. and makoto lives and exists to take care of haru. he has no dreams, no goals, hell, not even INTERESTS. his whole thing is just. haru. where haru goes, he follows. and. that's it basically

which is why the fact that so many makoto stans ship makoharu is also baffling to me, because if i were a makoto fan, i'd probably hate haru, lmao. i mean, makoto is going around doing all this work for him, plus emotional labor, and haru never gives him much back really. and it's obvious that haru doesn't like makoto the same way makoto likes him, but makoto is just out there taking whatever scraps he can get, and haru just sort of. probably doesn't even notice cuz that's been their dynamic since they were kids. and makoto knows that, too. so like. if i stanned makoto. id fucking hate haru for that tbh

and honestly it's bad writing because i think the writers couldn't care less about makoto lmao and also didn't know what to do with him, which i think becomes increasingly obvious as seasons go by and he's just sort of. there. they tried to give him his own plotlines and even dreams but it never stuck. he feels like a doll most of the time. even in s1, which was widely rinharu-focused and barely had any other characters have real plotlines unless you count the one (1) episode where they try to teach rei how to swim, makoto was particularly uninteresting and underexplored and developed. like, the other characters might not have had huge importance but at least they had personalities. makoto didn't, really, unless you count "mama henning haru" and "being uwu" as a personality

but my point is: what if makoto got some real writing? what if we explored his character, and his relationship with haru, in a more critical, dimensional way?

makoto is in love with haru, i think that's indisputable. haru isn't in love with makoto, which i also think is indisputable. makoto himself knows that what haru has with rin is special and beyond what makoto and haru have, he says that, he even says that he was jealous of rin. yet he stays. even when rin comes back, and haru and rin become friends again, and it's obvious they're going to be together, makoto stays. he takes care of haru, which is some pretty damn stressful work, and does all this emotional labor for him, and haru barely gives him, like, a smile every once in a while, lmao, and again it's sad. but makoto stays. and - that's an important part to me - it doesn't seem to be because he has any hopes that haru will come around. so why

i think they're stuck in a loop, and that makoto has been in love with haru, and being not only his emotional support, but basically the one thread connecting him with the outside world (while simultaneously enabling him to continue as detached from it as he can, because he's not bringing haru out to the world, he's bringing the world to accommodate haru) for so long, he doesn't really know what else to do. also, he feels guilty about leaving haru to his own devices, even if obviously there's nothing he can do if haru won't help himself. also, he's scared of losing him, because he's been defining himself for his relationship with haru for so long, he doesn't know where else to go

i think that's supported by his relationship with other characters. like i said, makoto is annoyingly kind to everyone (if im not mistaken, the name makoto actually does mean kind) and a MASSIVE pushover. he never goes against anyone's wishes. he never really throws in what he wants. he doesn't really interfere with anyone's plans and ideas, he just sorta makes it happen. he is never annoyed, never has any quirks, is never even like, tired, you know? he lives to please other people, to the point where he has no personality, interests, or wishes beyond that

so, yeah: i think makoto is scared that, if he doesn't please other people, there's nothing else left for him. and in a way, he is right, because i don't think he would know what to do with himself if he had to look into himself and figure out what he wants out of life. so it's easier to follow others and dedicate himself to them. also, fear of loneliness is very valid, even if i dont think any of his friends would actually leave him if he weren't being their damn mom all the time. but they also let it happen, especially haru, because it's convenient, and again, homeboy barely has the energy to go to school, much less help makoto unpack all of that

but if i were writing free!, id want to explore that, because it has so much potential to be a pretty damn rich story, actually. especially as the story progresses, because one effect of rin being back and haru running the whole swimming club and trying to prepare for their race is that haru needs makoto less and less as time goes by. because he has a motivation. he cares about his grades because if he doesn't keep them up he won't be allowed to keep working in the swimming club, he cares about teaching the newbie (the rei i mentioned before) how to swim because otherwise they won't be able to run against rin in the medley race, hell, he reforms the whole entire pool that was abandoned so they have a place to train (with help, but like, he couldnt be bothered with getting up to school before). he even goes back to drawing so he can make pamphlets to attract more people to the club

and then he finds his love for swimming again, especially as a team, competitively. he finds his love for people again, for human interaction, for competition and the thrill of the sport he loves. haru finds his motivation, and he starts putting his life back on track and working towards his goals, and haru is damn capable. and that means that makoto has a lot of free time in his hands now, and haru is slipping through them, and he knows he can't really keep their relationship as he was. and he shouldn't, honestly, and i think that he's, at least, smart enough to know this

and he has a crisis, because again, he's been defining himself through haru for the longest goddamn time, im talking all the way from middle to high school here. and he doesn't know who he is. he doesn't know what he wants. he barely knows what he likes

but he's not alone either, because again, makoto is haru's best friend, and haru does like him and it's not like he's all "i found my purpose with rin now. peace out". his journey was also about finding his whole support system with his friends. through relearning how to swim in a team, he also relearned human connection and friendship. that's one of the many beauties of rinharu. they inspired each other to make their lives better, including in ways that have nothing to do with each other, and they weren't even trying to

so he has haru, but in a now radically different dynamic, and also rei and nagisa (his teammates) and gou (rin's sister and also their trainer) (rin and gou don't go to the same school for some reason). and everyone is going through a similar crisis, because it's the last year of high school. rin obviously has known that he wants to be an athlete since he was a kid, but everyone else's plans are kinda sketchy. makoto just happens to have some extra flavor in that mission - he's not just trying to figure out what he wants to do, but who he is

and fuck if i know how that would develop from there, but id really love to see makoto finding himself, honestly. i want to see his issues being addressed. the only backstory we have for him is that he's afraid of the ocean because he almost drowned at some point? i dont remember. i want to know why the fuck he's been repressing his own needs and personality so hard. i want to know what had him so scared of the world that it was easier to forget about himself and basically live through haru. i want to know what he's going to do to find himself, and the very, very painful journey of looking at himself and his own needs, and, in many ways, his own emptiness, because makoto essentially carved himself hollow. i want makoto to have dimension and depth, and be relatable and not just a dumb shell of uwuness for ppl to swoon over and want to protecc, not even because i like him, but because it could be so interesting. and relatable in so many ways. like, god damn it. if you wanna make him one of the main characters, give him a real plotline!

and i want to see him finding out that his life is better when he's a little more detached from haru and not living in an endless pursuit of a relationship, but having a network of people he loves and that has mutual support. i want to see him getting over haru, not so he can have some other romance with someone else, but so he can grow. makoto basically doesn't grow at all the whole show, and it's sad to watch, especially as everyone else grows so much

[autisticangus]

anyway im so out of the loop on the mcelboys

i pretty much only keep semi-up to date with Sawbones at this point, not cuz i dont still LIKE everything else, just a lot has been goin on in my life

if anyone wants a long and rambly update on All Of The Bullshit im gonna stick a read more down here, asks are open and its cool to message me abt any of it if u want cuz i have some really nice and cool followers/mutuals here that make me comfy talkin abt that shit

as far as the future of this blog goes i wanna start using it more again! the mcelroys have gotten me out of some really dark places before so i hope having more connection to this community and the people here and their content again will help me like it has in the past! ill probs post more general mcelroy content here than previously rather than just taz btw i just gotta fuckin uhhhhh,,,, catch up on a bunch of shit again before this blog is even semi active lmaoo but im like alive and on tumblr regularly again!!

Wow u clicked on this and wanna hear me talk? Ur awesome and sweet, thanks for caring!

These past two years have been extraordinarily tough. This is gonna be a pretty long and detailed post that deals with the sensitive topics of emotional abuse, abusive relationships, and alcoholism. Please read on with caution.

Back in March of 2019, so this was about 3-4 months after i left tumblr, I got a new boyfriend and things started out really good, he was kind of a "bad boy" and it was fun at first. Im kind of a goody-goody so it was very interesting for me at first to be with someone so different who had such different life experiences than me. I liked hearing his stories of living in a traphouse, and running with gangs, and selling drugs, and knowing people who had killed people. I assumed a LOT of it was lies, obviously, who just brags about that shit u know? I just rolled with it, didnt take it seriously, and found the imagined scenarios interesting to listen to. So much of it was obviously played up to make him seem cooler, and I shouldve seen that as the red flag it was, and all my friends did but I didnt. 

He had a serious alcohol problem, I mean I had coffee in the morning and he had 2 four lokos before noon. it was bad. about 6 months into the relationship he decided i was cheating on him with my ex who i had recently reconnected with, we missed being friends and things were really going well talking and being friends again, he was really important to me! but my boyfriend saw this as yet another thing i was doing wrong. when he decided i was cheating, that become his focus of alcoholic rage. nearly every time he got drunk, which was several times a week, he would accuse me of things, he would yell and scream, he would call me horrible names and make me cry for literal hours, he never hit me but that shouldnt even matter, i was emotionally battered and mentally bruised and everything hurt. he gaslit me into believing i said and did things i never said or did, i admitted to things that were not real, and then i was yelled at for admitting them. i didnt know what to do.

he was threatening my ex too, he would get drunk and say he knew where he lived (he didnt) or he knew what car he drove (he didnt) and explained to me many times that although he had never killed someone, people had been killed before at his command. he said a bullet in the back of my ex’s brain was just a phone call and $500 away. somedays he would tell me he was just going to do it himself, with a hammer, or a kitchen knife, or whatever weapon he could get his hands on during his explanation of how he would do it. my only option was to agree, to say it didnt matter to me what happened to him, i had to pretend my on

/ly concern was him going to jail for the crime, if i showed any sign that i didn’t want my ex murdered, it clearly meant i was cheating on him. 

i pretended to block my ex on social media to get him off my back and it worked a little bit but he still brought it up. and even if he didnt directly mention him, he would always tell me when he was drunk that i was the cause of all his problems, i was why he was so self conscious, i was why he drank so much, i was why he had to work so hard, i was why every single issue he had was happening. logically i knew it was wrong, but i was so conditioned to it by then that i just went with it. i knew that agreeing and apologizing made the fighting end quicker.

things spiraled this past summer. his job needed us to relocate so we moved like 4 states away, away from all my family and friends, and lived in a tiny hotel room for a month. during this time, his drinking was somehow worse. he was drunk literally every night but he was passing out so we didnt fight and i was relieved. i was depressed being stuck in the hotel room all day alone, but thankful i wasnt being abused at least. then he started getting into drunken fistfights with his coworkers in the hotel parking lot. one day he came home just in time to find one of his drunk coworkers trying to break into the room with me there desperately trying to keep him out. i was terrified and wanted to go home but he convinced me to stay. a couple weeks after that we travelled for his work again several more states away. his drinking got a little bit better here, but i was so depressed and lonely, i was so isolated, he was all i saw day in and day out besides his coworkers and i was nervous around them. one day the guy who tried to break in on me, purposefully, while drunk, hit another coworkers car and totaled it and tried to run the guy over and i saw the whole thing. a week later my boyfriend was also fired because he got so drunk he passed out in the hotel parking lot and the company needed to save face with the hotel after the whole car incident. 

so we travelled back home, but not my home, to his where we lived isolated on a mountain with no phone signal or wifi. the house was old and not well kept from being empty for several years, half the appliances didnt work. i was more isolated than i have ever been in my life. for 4 months i stayed there and just dreaded him coming home because i knew he would be drunk again and he'd yell or accuse me of things or otherwise belittle me. it was horrible. my friends all said to leave and my parents said to leave but i was so brainwashed into thinking that if i was just a good little housewife and if i just stayed home and did the dishes and the laundry that he would be nicer but he still found things to point at and say i was cheating. he was also becoming really controlling about my food intake and weight and i already struggle with an eating disorder so that just made me feel even more like i had to stay, my brain felt like if i wasnt under his watchful eye id gain weight again, like somehow it was thanks to him i had lost weight and not my own choices.

one day last week i expressed to him wanting to leave, saying how unhappy i was, i told him how sad i felt and how i didnt think we were such a good match. he didnt take me seriously, so the next day when he got sloppy drunk before 5 pm i packed a small bag and went to my moms. i was just gonna stay for a night or two but he called and screamed at me for leaving without telling him, i told him he just didnt remember me telling him because he was so drunk, and he accused me of not caring about his feelings and made me sound like the bad guy for leaving without his permission. i told him it was just for a few days but the angrier he got the more i knew i was in the right and told him i was done. i told him we were breaking up and id come get my stuff soon.

i got my stuff while he was at work this past weekend and moved in with my best friend. im safe and happy now. things are looking so much better for me and im so thankful to my friends and family who supported me all the way to the end.

i just wanted to make this post because, i know its not mcelroy related, and a lot of ppl probably dont care for stuff like this on this kind of blog, but i think its important.

its important to friends and family of people in abusive relationships to be steady. dont give up your ground. even if the person keeps pushing back and wont leave the person, keep being there for them, it can take a long time, it took me almost 2 years to leave, it takes some people even longer, but just stay there for them and be there for them when they finally make that step. dont give up on them.

and to those who have been in these kinds of relationships, and especially those who are there right now: it is not your fault. it is so, so hard to leave, i know, but please try to find help and support and resources to do it. if all your friends dont like someone, theres a good reason for it. please dont fall into the trap of thinking your friends dont have the best intentions for you. there are so many things you may overlook in the moment that others can see from a mile away are horrible. especially if you have been abused in the past. its incredibly hard to tell what is a red flag when your gut instinct is that anything and everything is a red flag. surround yourself with people who you can trust and listen to them

and trust me, i know how hard it is when youre stuck in that spot of KNOWING you should go but fearing that first step away. its scary. its difficult. but it is worth it. find someone safe you can be with. and if you arent sure, find a reason to leave for just a few days, an excuse, anything. give yourself space from the abuser, tell yourself youre going back in a couple days, just get out from under the thumb long enough to clear your head and things will make more sense with the fog lifted.

when i first got in my car and put my kitten on my lap and told her we were going to my moms for a couple nights, i didnt know if that was the truth. i planned to come back and i knew i didnt want to. i only took enough stuff for a couple days. i couldnt imagine my life changing so drastically. where would i live? how would i make money? who take care of me? i had no clue about any of those things. but after a couple days away I realized i would take care of me. i remembered that i had worked jobs before i was with him, i could do it again. i remembered that i had options of where to live. all of those things were so clouded when i was with him, they felt like impossibilities. once i was away, even just for a short time, things were so much easier to parse.

and i know i had many privileges in this journey not everyone is afforded, and my heart goes out to those who read this and are in this situation and the options i had just arent accessible to you, i am so sorry, i wish i had something more to offer you but all i have is my story, and a wish that it gives you some hope at the very least, and a promise that if you need someone to talk to, im here, i will listen, and you will be heard and loved.

i just want everyone who reads to take something small but important away from it. love your friends, love yourself. please stay safe. please dont give up. remember love should not hurt.

[bangtancuties]

interview tag ✨

-> the rules are to answer questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better :)

i was tagged by @kooseokss thanks for tagging me!! Hope you think these answers are cool and you get to know me a little better!! :)

name/nickname: Elke/Bubs pronouns: she/her star sign: Taurus height: 173 cm / 5'7 thats right Im like yoongis height haha time currently: 22:26! when is your birthday: April 24. I turn so old then <_> nationality: Dutch! favorite band/groups: bts, twenty one pilots, glass animals, cage the elephant, dayglow favorite solo artists: k.flay , tame impala song stuck in your head: your love (deja vu) - glass animals last movie you watched: hunchback of the notre dame last show you binged: the mandalorian, and also the muppets show lmao when you created your blog: oof okay so Im an old bitch and this blog has been around since december 2015 or so last thing you googled: “diabolo mechanics” it was for work lmao pls dont judge me other blogs: I do have an older blog floating around here somewhere focused on art reblogging/gaming but I dont use it anymore and have decided people will have to just accept whatever I post why i chose my url: seems pretty obvious 😩 bangtan are 7 cuties. Bangtanboys –> bangtancuties. Yes Ill take my creativity award now thank you how many people are you following: 300 or so but many blogs are inactive now theyre from the ✨old era✨ how many followers do you have: Id rather not say because its sad lmao average hours of sleep: 7-9 , I sleep a lot cuz work will bite me in the ass otherwise and Im an old lady now lucky number: lucky number 7 all the way instruments: I play multiple! Keyboard/piano, guitar and bass guitar. Panflute and ocarina too. And I like to sing but poorly! what i’m currently wearing: flannel shirt with mom jeans and some seriously ugly socks! dream job: I always wanted to be an artist for video games. So its pretty cool that thats what Im doing now. Getting to live my dream every day is a real treat although of course reality is different than the dream. Still worth it! dream trip: Id really like to visit asia again. Visiting China was honestly incredible and Id love to visit it again as well as south korea, japan, taiwan and vietnam, where Ive never been. favorite food: I love lots of things! So a couple favourites: peking duck, kimchi stew, a good old dutch stamppot, ahha favorite song: well fuck me up this is mega difficult and my style and music changes all the time . Ill pick 3, for now: Can’t Sleep - K.Flay Hot Rod - Dayglow Alrighty Aphrodite - Peach Pit top three fictional universes you’d like to live in: Harry Potter, Star Wars , Pokémon!

As for tagging; I dont know all that many people so lets see ! @caiider @transrightsjimin @lifegoesmon @kimdaily @smilingtaehyung yee ok sorry this is all I have I really need more tumblr pals 😩😩 thanks for tagging me though this was fun!