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honeyjars-sims · 8 months

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2.7 Opening Up

Lexie: It’s too bad we got assigned to set design for the first production, but at least we’ll be able to hang out together.

Johnny: Yeah, it looks like most of the acting roles went to the juniors and seniors. Maybe next year we’ll have better luck.

Lexie: Well, the semester’s just getting started. Who knows what will happen. We could impress them with our sick acting skills and get the leads next time.

Johnny: [laughing] I support your delusional optimism! Oh, I almost forgot…my mom wanted me to tell you hi and that she enjoyed meeting you.

Lexie: Hmm, that’s nice of her. I guess let her know I said hi as well.

Johnny: [teasingly] You’re not going to say it was nice to meet her too?

Lexie: No comment.

Johnny: I don’t blame you! Honestly, it went better than I was expecting.

Lexie: Really? That's kind of sad.

Johnny: Yeah, unfortunately, that was just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to my mom.

Lexie: Well, it really bothered me how she was speaking about you. I kept trying to change the subject, but she’d always end up making some snarky little comment.

Johnny: I’m used to it, I guess. The thing is, if I’d called her out she’d say I was overreacting. In the past, I would’ve believed her, but now…not so much.

Lexie: Good, because she’s wrong about you. I can’t imagine how it affected you to hear that as a child, or even now.

Johnny: [sighs] I wish I could say that was the worst thing I had to deal with as a kid, but it wasn’t by a long shot. If you don’t mind, I think I’m ready to talk to you about it.

Lexie: Of course. You can tell me anything. Let's go somewhere more private.

TW: The dialogue below includes discussion of child abuse and drug abuse (not graphic but please use your own discretion if this topic is triggering to you).

Johnny: It wasn’t just my mom who treated me badly. It was also her husband, Jimmy. I refuse to call him my stepdad because he wasn’t any kind of parent to me. He was way worse, though. With my mom it’s this kind of passive aggressive backhanded shit, but Jimmy? He was full-on aggressive. Not just with his words, either.

Lexie: Oh my God, he hurt you? Johnny, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know it was that bad.

Johnny: Yeah, it was pretty awful. I started having nightmares and I was anxious all the time. I tried to talk to my mom about it, but I was too scared to tell her what was really going on so she thought I was just being dramatic.

Lexie: Geez, I can’t imagine my parents just brushing me off like that. You must have been terrified.

Johnny: I was. It only got worse when my mom started doing drugs. By that time I was old enough to start fighting back and all the blame fell on me. Jimmy almost convinced mom to send me to military school but then my dads got custody of me and Chantal.

Lexie: Thank God for your dads!

Johnny: For real, I’m so grateful for them. It’s weird, though…whenever a kid gets away from their abusive family, everyone expects them to be happy about it. No one ever talks about all the mixed emotions. I knew I was better off with my dads, but I still thought about the good times I had with my mom. It was hard to leave her.

Lexie: I think I understand more why you’re still trying to work things out with her. It sounds like the whole situation was really traumatic for you.

Johnny: Yeah, even when I wasn’t talking to her I always had this feeling of “what if?” Like maybe there is a way to fix everything and make it go away.

Lexie: Some things can’t be fixed, no matter how hard you try. I don’t know if your relationship with your mom is one of them, but I hope you’ll recognize when it’s time to let go if it comes to that.

Johnny: I think I will. I’m going to give it more time, but I’m starting to feel like…like I deserve better. I didn’t feel that way before.

Lexie: You deserve so much better, Johnny. You’re so much more than what your mom sees you as. And Jimmy. He better hope I never see him ‘cause I’ll kick him right in the balls!

Johnny: [laughing] Lexie! I’ve never heard you so angry before. I can’t see you doing something like that, you’re too sweet.

Lexie: I’d do it to him! And I’d enjoy watching him suffer. Oh, sorry, I probably shouldn’t be so violent about it. It just really got me worked up.

Johnny: It’s ok. You’re cute when you’re protective.

Lexie: Well, consider me your bodyguard, then.

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fictitiouswanderings · 2 years

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Chapter 1: I probably needed help for hoarding, but it ended up saving my life.

I never thought I’d take standing in a Cub foods, high as fuck and hungry as all hell with a small cart already half full of shit I probably didn’t need, for granted. But I was pretty good at convincing myself it was a good buy or sale, whatever it may have been, it was likely something I’d eventually need someday. A little extra of this, a couple extra cans of that.

Packs upon packs of cards, not to have all in one place but to hide in bags, drawers, cars etc in case emergency entertainment was needed. When you’re really bored solitaire can be somewhat entertaining, but if you have company even if it's just one person you can have fun with a full deck.

“What if “X” emergency happens and we are stuck at home, we’d need a decent supply of various things”, is a thought that crossed my mind so many times while I was out shopping.

Was it abnormal? Probably. But I didn’t really question it if it meant survival, even if the chances of something like zombies actually happening was fairly low. I did at least try and limit it to small additions here and there. Money might have been tight, but that thought kept whispering in the back of your head, “what if”.

It freaked out a few people when the CDC released a plan for a zombie outbreak. Yeah, didn’t know about that did you? Look it up. It may have been a joke, but it definitely left people with the hair on their arms standing. Besides, what was wrong with having a little emergency preparation? You could always just say it was incase of a natural disaster, you know, a real thing. You could rule out a few based on location of course, like you’d get a hurricane all the way in Minnesota, you’re more likely to see a tornado, and even then I haven’t seen one in my entire life get past a sky funnel.

Oh, I guess I should introduce myself. You can call me Gabe. I’m 29 years old, a Virgo on the very cusp of being a libra. Always on the cusp of something in life since the very beginning when I was held back from school because of the cutoff date. Nothing like being born juuust a little later in the year. It’s whatever, it’s probably where I needed to be, fate and all, if you believe in that.

I grew up as your typical quiet kid in a small hick town. You know, the kind of town where the only grocery store is one you’ve never heard of outside of that town and probably wouldn’t encounter again, there’s two fast food choices which have basically the same menu and the town's first and only mall is on its last legs. Where you have the choice of either a K-Mart or a Shopko to hang out with after school, until the cool new Wal-Mart came to town. THAT kind of town, if you know you know, and all I have to say is, I wholeheartedly apologize for the way they treated you, and hope you got out in one piece.

Anyway, there I was standing there in the first aid aisle picking up an off-brand double combo pack of Dayquil and Nyquil for a horrible cold I’d been fighting and losing to. I never realized it, but you can really drink a whole bottle of both of them during a cold real quick, so it was handy to pick up two double packs whenever possible, one for now to get rid of the cold and one for later in case you get another one down the line. At least one pack per adult in the house was a safe bet. Miserable from clearing my throat all day and sniffling I just wanted to get out of the store, but since I was there I might as well pick up a few other things, what could happen?

Of course my first mistake was going shopping hungry, the second having smoked before going. A glance at the time and almost two hours had passed, the cart now over full. A thought nagged me, I knew I should have got the bigger cart but I also knew if I had I might have doubled the amount of things I was buying so it ended up being the safe bet. By then the high had worn off and the exhaustion of the day started to seep in. Thankfully I had grabbed everything I had come for, and more, and was on my way to check out.

After going through the line and haphazardly throwing things in bags I eventually made it to the car. It was late at night, the air crisp, winter’s last vengeful nip reminding us that it wasn’t yet spring. It was just crisp enough to hurt my nose and lungs trying to breathe so I packed everything up quickly and made sure to put my cart away because I’m not a monster.

Once home I parked in the underground garage, and then unpacked and loaded as much as would fit into my little metal cart. If you live in an apartment building you probably know what I’m talking about. They are pretty handy to have even if you don’t live in an apartment building too. Mine was just the standard wheeled one, but I’ve seen models that are made to be able to climb the stairs. Thankfully our complex had an elevator. Kind of a deal breaker for me honestly, no way was I going to lug all my shit up a couple levels of stairs! Not everything fit in the cart, but not everything that was bought was perishable either, so I could always come back down for that later.

Up four flights and a long hallway later was home. Apartment 404, I had laughed a little bit to myself at the number when the leasing manager mentioned it was the one we were touring. It was perfect. I often joked that it was the apartment that didn’t exist, an error in their listings. It was a nice little one bedroom apartment, I had had a studio before and it wasn’t so bad but I decided I could really use the separation of my bedroom from my kitchen, bathroom and what little I had to call a living room, plus it was nicer if you had a guest over, and that guest wasn’t necessarily the kind that would get to share your bed with you.

I fished my keys out as I neared the door, quickly unlocked it and moved to pull the cart in. The wheels caught on the little lip at the bottom of the door frame, and I had to back it up slightly and pull just a little harder to get it to go over and into the apartment. Once in and out of the way I immediately locked the door behind me. I wasn’t a paranoid person, but I did often see a lot of videos of people slipping right behind people into their apartments, all it took was 3 seconds of them not paying any attention. One locked I put the keys where they always go, on the command strip hook on the wall, kicked my shoes off and put everything away.

The exhaustion of the long day at work, the high wearing off, and the mental strain of watching my money drain from my bank account hit me all at once. Before going to my room to rest and relax I glanced into the living room from the little window in the wall separating it from the kitchen. Everything was still and quiet, so I slowly shuffled into my bedroom, and slumped into my desk chair.

I didn’t flick the light on, but that’s because I had pressed LED light strips around the baseboard of the room and the top most portion of the wall, not quite the ceiling. They were set to shine a soft yellow so it wasn’t too bright, but bright enough that I could see where I was walking. I yawned deeply and stretched while shifting my chair towards my computer setup. I could play games, but I really should sleep. Instead I chose the middle path and grabbed the half packed bubbler I had left behind before I went out in the first place and lit up.

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The next morning I didn’t wake up until the sun was already high in the sky. I quietly mumbled a word of thanks to my manager for giving me the day off so I could sleep in for once. I knew I should have gotten out of bed but I was so comfortable under all the blankets. I knew that this sort of peace was only temporary and my legs became too restless to stay in bed.

I found that the easiest way to make any sense of my life was to keep a routine, so as soon as my feet slipped out from the covers and hit the floor I began stretching. Most people think that you only need to stretch before or after working out which IS good for you, but you really should stretch more often than that. Up, down, left, right, middle, back up, deep breaths. A couple quick twists and a few loud cracks later and I was ready to begin my day.

Stepping in front of the full length mirror in the corner I gave myself a quick lookover, “would anyone even notice if I wore the same clothes again?” I thought as I pulled up a part of my shirt to my nose to give it a sniff. I wouldn’t recommend the sniff test, but when you’re lazy it’s the easiest way to tell if something is clean, even if it looks visually clean. Sniff test passed, and it didn’t look like anything that wasn’t supposed to be there, was. I could go on but like anyone else it’s pretty much the same thing. Eat, work, sleep, eat, work, sleep. Eat. Work. Sleep. You know, the whole purpose of humans even existing.

Every once in a while though you meet someone who makes work bearable. That was Sami Fresh for me. Sami and I became fast friends after I got hired. I didn’t expect anyone to be as friendly as they were, adult life seemed to have been whole piles of shit hitting the fan one after another, but when I met them it was like I realized I could turn the fan off. Felt like an idiot sandwich standing in front of a shit fan, mouth wide open in complaint, when I could have just….unplugged it. It was because of them though that I was able to stand going into work. The two of us were a team, a dynamic duo! Nothing was unsolvable when we worked together, which was perfect because packaging caulk and moving things around with a forklift was better with two people than just one.

Sami was the kind of person you wanted on your team. They were incredibly smart, but also lazy, but lazy isn’t a bad thing. Bill Gates once said , “I choose a lazy person to do a hard job. Because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.”, and that’s exactly how Sami was. Anything the boss thought was too hard for any one else would get assigned to Sami and they’d never complain, just stand back and take a look at the problem and be able to solve it doing usually one or two things.

We worked overnights which made doing things during the day somewhat hard, but it was doable, and this way it was quiet for the most part. Best sleep I ever get is during the day. It’s the perfect time because everyone else is out of their apartments at work or elsewhere and the building becomes a little more silent without them. I normally wouldn’t even be up until the sun danced with the horizon, but today was different. Today I would leave my comfort zone and walk into the sunlight, and only because “The Bois” are back in town.

#minnesota #zombies #fwwriting #weed #marijuana #twdrugs #cwdrugs #apocolypse #apocolyptic #prepper

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