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bruisedpeachx-blog · 7 years

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Noble Eightfold Path

Cyrstal Castles was the most beautiful place that I’ve seen. I’ve been exposed to a person who was skeptical and negative of crystals, positive energies, and spirituality for far too long, and this place was the perfect thing that I needed to shift my mentality. When we went it was raining, everything was green, and the entire place was so ambient. I’ll never forget the lovely quotes that were placed on stones throughout the walkways, I’ll never forget how I felt when I stood beside and looked into an amethyst cave, and I’ll never forget how I felt when I saw a giant Buddha sculpture submerged in water, on top of a lotus mural. Byron Bay itself was such an incredible place to experience, and I’ve never felt the way that I did when I was sitting on the rocks watching the waves crash into them. I felt completely level headed, and my mind was so clear. It’s a really special thing to be completely present without the distractions of technology, music, or conversation. For a little while it was hard to write about Byron because the positive feelings I had were so overshadowed by hydroplaning, but I’m so glad that I’m able to look back on that day with so much positivity, and to have those memories of Australia.

Since Byron I’ve had two full rosters of full time hours, lunch and dinner dates with friends, nights out, and nights in and it’s made writing a full text post so difficult. I want to write down all of the positive moments and times that I’ve had so I can look back on this blog, read about these moments, and remember exactly how I felt at the time.

Cam and I make a habit of taking our lunch breaks at the same time, which has been great. We take our full hour breaks and we do our best to try somewhere new. He’s been an incredible help with showing me around, spending time with me, and keeping me company when I feel low. Although he’s tried to show me new places to eat, I haven’t been able to stray from Nom Nom, and the Dumpling restaurant in the Valley. These are probably two of my favourite places that I’ve ever eaten, and they have the best vegetarian options. There’s a bar in the Valley that is walking distance from work and Cam’s friends work the bar. I’ve now become friends with them as well, and we sit at the bar, talk, and waste hours of our night here. I’ve also on too many occasions drank one too many Caesars and made a complete ass of myself thanks to Jimmy’s incredible music playlist. I never thought that I would be a regular at a bar, but I love this place, I love the people, and I love the backyard area where I can sit and read. Without this space I’m confident my experience in Brisbane would have been much different.

The Balance and Composure show was cancelled due to the flooding after Cyclone Debbie and this was something that I took extremely hard. When everything happened initially, I told myself that I had to stay because I already had tickets to this show. It sounds extremely dramatic but this show was the light at the end of the tunnel on so many extremely hard nights. When I felt alone I just reminded myself that I would get to see this band, and that their music that meant so much to me would be played back to me and it would make everything okay. Music is something that makes up so much of who I am, and it has helped me make the best of what could have been a really bad situation. The one thing that I can say I’m thankful about is knowing the Manager of the Brightside, and being able to hear that the show was cancelled face to face, rather than from a Facebook post. When I found out that the show was cancelled I felt so defeated, I felt so sad, and I just felt overwhelmed. I didn’t know what I was supposed to look forward to if I didn’t have the show, and I was scared that now that I didn’t have this show, I wouldn’t feel okay anymore. Although I didn’t get to see Balance and Composure, I can honestly say that I think this show served it’s purpose for me. For a month this show was the light at the end of the tunnel, my motivation to get out of bed on bad days, and just something to look forward to that was mine. I’m really thankful that I was able to have that, and I’m even more thankful that although it was cancelled - I still felt okay, and I was able to see the silver lining in the situation.

I met a great person in the process of this show being cancelled, and I’m really grateful for that. Alex and I instantly bonded over our disappointment of Balance and Composure being cancelled, and then over our similar taste in music. It was great to talk to someone that has similar musical interests, same dietary morals, and same ideals when it comes to a lot of things. Alex and I went to Goma and it was a beautiful experience for me. I hadn’t been to Goma yet, and I honestly have no idea why it wasn’t one of the first places that I went to when I first came to Brisbane. That being said, Goma is currently celebrating 50 years and had on their “Best Of”, and they didn’t disappoint. When I walked into the room that was completely white, with two taxidermy deers covered in oversized water droplets, I was so overwhelmed in such an amazing way. When I saw the giant sculpture of a woman lying in a bed I was so in awe by every single little detail, and I felt so small in a very humanizing way. I loved that exhibit because it’s whole focus is on perspective, and that’s been my focus as of lately. Alex knew so much about so many of the exhibitions, and it was great to experience Goma so thoroughly. Afterwards Alex and I went to an amazing vegetarian restaurant where we ate way too much food, and talked about so many interesting things. It was so great to hang out with someone who so closely aligns to who I am and what I’m interested in, and I feel so thankful to have met such a great friend.

After Goma I walked to Death Before Decaf and I spent some much needed time alone with my music. Death Before Decaf has become my place to go to when I don’t know where I should be, or what I should be doing. It gives me a place to walk to when I feel low at all hours of the night, and it gives me a place to walk to in the morning when I’m feeling motivated to walk or run. It’s open twenty four seven, so it’s always there for me.

I walked back to the Valley with my iced coffee and got a text from Cam letting me know that him and his friends would be going to the Valley to grab a beer and talk comics if I wanted to join. At the bar I drank one too many beers, danced to one too many Savage Garden songs, and met amazing new people. As I was leaving to catch an Uber I ran into my friend’s boyfriend in the Valley, who let me know his girlfriend was close by and that I absolutely had to come with them to dance. I’m not sure that I’ve ever had a night as fun as this one and I hope that when I look back on Brisbane in the future, this is the night that I think about. We went to so many great places in the Valley and danced and drank and had such a lovely time. The music that was playing at the places they took me was so unlike the typical club music you hear, and I was so happy to be surrounded by people just like me who just wanted to dance to The Smiths! Halfway through our night one of their friends ended up coming and he ended up being a great person to meet. It was so refreshing to talk to someone who was passionate about Vans, skating, art, and life in general. Even after my friend and her boyfriend called it a night, we stayed out in the Valley. We tried to call an Uber but there was a surge so we climbed onto a tin roof overlooking the entire Valley, and at that exact moment I realized how far I had come in the month and a half that I had been completely by myself. I have never laughed so much, danced so hard, or felt as okay as I did this night. I am so thankful to have met all of these amazing people.

After booking my plane tickets to China, LA, Seattle, and throughout Canada, I felt sad. I was so happy while I was doing it, but when I woke up in the morning everything felt so final. I had this incredible night after I had booked my plane tickets to travel, and it made the thought of leaving so difficult. It has been so hard to think about leaving Brisbane, and I know that it will be so hard for me to part ways with all of the beautiful people that I have met. That being said I also know that I’ve become addicted to self growth, and that the best way I grow is when I’m pushing my comfort zone and allowing myself to become uncomfortable. Which means being in a country where I don’t speak or read the language, completely alone. Which means walking on the Santa Monica pier completely alone. Which also means traveling around my favourite American city with my best friend, while seeing bands that we both love wholeheartedly. I know that most people feel as if going back to Canada is doing the easy thing and taking the easy way out, but they couldn’t be more wrong. Brisbane has become my home, and Brisbane will always have a piece of my heart.

Today I met a customer at work from Vancouver, and he told me that if I loved Australia I would love Vancouver. He told me that Vancouver and it’s surrounding areas had so many of the same aspects, except with the company of the Rocky Mountains. I am so thankful that I had the opportunity to talk to this individual, who was able to remind me why I am so excited to explore this city and make this city a home.

Tonight my ex’s best friend screenshotted one of my Snapchat stories, and when I asked him why he did he proceeded to explain and then apologize about Australia not working out for me. Although his intentions may have been good, I have never been more frustrated by a sentence. A relationship in Australia didn’t work out, that is one hundred percent correct, but Australia did work out. The person responsible for breaking my heart, has zero influence on my decision to continue my travels and to see more of the world. The person that showed me a lack of care does not dictate this country or my ability to do something or make something work. Immediately I was upset that this person had reopened a wound, but as quickly as those feelings came, they left. I realized that I don’t need anyone to understand my motives or my actions, and that everything goes back to perspective. In their eyes I failed and I gave up, in my eyes I overcame, I grew, and I let myself move on. In the end I thanked this individual, and I meant it completely. I am so thankful that this one person who owed me absolutely nothing, showed me respect, made himself available if I needed it, and offered me help if it ever came to that. This person who didn’t need to care if I was okay, showed me the compassion that any human being deserves and made the hardest part of my journey just a little bit easier. Although I never called on him, I knew that if I was ever in a scenario that compromised my safety or my mental health, I had one person that I could call on. Although I feel like what he said tonight is untrue, I’ve learned that it’s okay to disagree with someone while understanding their opinion, and reflecting on their perspective.

These experiences that I’ve had in Australia are mine. The growth that I have experienced in Australia is my own. What I have done with these circumstances came from my personal strength to overcome something awful and make it beautiful.

I loved, I broke, I grew, I fell in love with myself, and now I’m healing and moving on.

“We do not heal the past by dwelling there;

We heal the past by living fully in the present.”

- Marianne Williamson

#Australia #Travel Memoirs #Personal

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