#damir shepard

[flannelinspace]

Instead of reblogging all these separately from my dead blog that acts as an archive now, I’ll just post these all in one post, which I don’t think I ever did!

I was supposed to paint EVERYONE I think, all the companions and then some major NPCs, but that project stopped here apparently. xD But hey! I got some of my faves down! 

[kirkwallgirl-inactive]

“WHAT. Who was cheating? Why didn’t anyone wake me? I would have caught them!”

continuation to ‘that’s not how you play poker, Shepard’. Looks like it was an interesting game.

[kirkwallgirl-inactive]

Assorted headcanons from the bus. Various characters / pairs. XD - If you don't think that Eirien will remember many many old magical theory arguments with Dorian even years later and triumphantly show Dorian a passage in a book that proves him right, you are WRONG. ('Vishante kaffas, amatus' says Dorian. 'You were right! And have an excellent memory, it seems. It's a shame this memory of yours doesn't extend to more mundane things like when you last took your medicine or where you put your paperwork.' And then he kisses Eir because he's earned his victory and deserves celebratory smooches.) - space Damir's N7 hoodie is like a size or two too big (on purpose - he likes feeling cozy) on him already; Joker practically gets swallowed up by it when he nabs it from the apartment post-game. - Ninni Shepard nearly laughs herself sick at Kanala imports because of Finnish reasons. - Contrary to how I play the game and the Mako handles in general, I think Ninni is actually a pretty conservative driver and doesn't give a lot of heart attacks to her squad while driving. Except when she really does in an emergency or something. - Ninni may not have ever worn just a normal bra? Sports bra / no bra life for her. - Ninni embraces the freedom of working with Cerberus by saying goodbye to uniform whenever she can skip it. As long as she's combat-ready when she needs to, she's happy. - I imagined Jay Hawke and Anders eventually teaching some of the tranquil and ex-tranquil mages who've never had a chance to even TRY how to swim and died a little. Both are at home in the water and if I say there's a body of water big enough to swim in nearby (albeit not as big as lake Calenhad), then there IS. It's not so close that they could heat up the sauna, go to swim, and go back to warm up in the sauna - but not terribly far either. - I saw the most amazing oven situation in a museum this weekend and almost wanna change how I think the hideout farm's big oven looks like. Nothing's stopping me so idk why I couldn't haha. XD - I still DEFINITELY think that Ninni and Traynor get a spanish greyhoung / equivalent eventually after the war. The dog's almost but not really a therapy dog for Ninni, like officially that's not what she is but having her IS therapeutic for Ninni? Gets her moving which is good for physical recovery - but is well behaved so she's very safe to work with and won't suddenly yank Ninni off her feet, and so on. Traynor often finds them asleep on top of each other on the couch or in the bed after a long day and doesn't have the heart to wake them (maybe sends a picture to dr Chakwas if she's still alive and says 'they've been working hard'). The dog's name ends up being Rauha and it makes Ninni laugh very fondly. She loves the dog very much, and so does Traynor.

[kirkwallgirl-inactive]

Aight so I got a shep named Venus and she's tol and sassy and very GAY and honestly she walks tough n talks tough but is a huge gay baby and will cry if any one of her babies gets hurt. Also if anybody fucks with Grunt or EDI in particular she will FUK U up son. She has formally adopted Zaeed as her father, Anderson is dad #2. Garrus is big brother, she is madly in love with Tali and science friends with Mordin and Liara. Can't hold her liquor.

Ohey, sounds like she and Space Damir would probably get along great and could act all outwardly tough and cool together and really be just big messes inside. They could get drunk together and it’d be really cheap because Damir also doesn’t have a head for alcohol. It’s be a hoot, probably. :DDD 

[kirkwallgirl-inactive]

ooOh um um, how about two facts about saintly shepard, one silly and one serious? :D (obviously you can respond with whoever you want but i love both of your shepards dsfnkh) anyway: saintly shepard 1) 's favorite restaurant on the citadel (for real) is a strange little earth-port that does ramen, fried chicken, and nothing else, and 2) needs to be reminded every morning postgame to take two different medications, for different things.

and I adore Saintly aaaaaa. :’D What a treasure.

 I’m gonna do the thing and cheat because nobody’s stopping me and do two facts for each Shep? Because I know what I want to say for Damir but I ALSO want to talk about Ninni. This is how I figure her out. xD (this is actually how I figured out so many things about my OCs; ask games. xD) SO. This is threatening to get long so I’ll just slap a cut right here ~

[new facts definitely accepted ^u^]

1) I already told you this because of the Sims 4 recipes, but nobody else has heard it probably, so I can repeat it and gladly, but space!Damir is 100% the sort of person who basically lives on takeaway when he’s not on board of the Normandy - ramen, curry, kebab, fusion stuff - anything that’s nice and spicy and possibly eaten straight out of a box with or without chopsticks. :D It’s not that he can’t cook - he can. He just doesn’t bother very often when he can help it. xD (He just has to be careful not to get seafood things in his food because he’s allergic to most shellfish, and some fish, which limits some of his options.)

Ninni, she rarely ate at restaurants on Earth, so after enlisting and actually having some credits at least to her name and she started keeping the Citadel as her home base, she’s taken a liking to just. trying everything just because she can, with varying results. She probably likes the sort of places where you get fries and greasy deep-fried things with a beer or something best. Or like, bar food. Pub food. That sort of thing. :D Not a foodie, her.

2) To mirror your fact but upside down sorta, I think that post-game Damir is actually the one who reminds people to take their meds in the morning - Joker, specifically. :’D When he was a corporeal person, Damir was pretty good about his own meds out of sheer avoidal of a great many things, and he’d remember that sort of things as a reaper-guiding AI too. xD So especially on the Citadel, Joker would never get away with forgetting or skipping doses ever, and nor would he on the Normandy if they managed to get a link working so Damir could show up there as well, and idk why they wouldn’t. xD He may be a REALLY WEIRD AI BEING but he remembers and takes care of his people okay.

And Ninni, hmmmm. I think Ninni’s really punctual about this sort of thing - mostly otherwise she doesn’t seem like the sort of a person who has strict routines, but she has a morning routine that she follows pretty much to a t on autopilot, so if she needs to take her medication in the morning, she’s not going to forget. May forget other times of the day, but the morning’s not a problem. xD

[kirkwallgirl-inactive]

Finally got some of these Shoker / ME3 Control Ending feels onto paper, and to go with an old scribble (included), too! Whee! The joy of fairly open endings is that you can do a lot of things with them afterwards. xD Also wow it feels so very weird to write for a different fandom than what you’re used to...? what are voices? I have no idea.

Angst with an eventually happy ending, control ending, fluffy memories, *author has a crisis about keys*, mention of bad dentist experiences and hangover; alcohol mention. Also obviously discussion of death.

Notes feat. credits (one), my brand new Key Headcanon, and some discussion about the Citadel and the condition of the apartment at the end. :D

As usual, I’ve read this about a million times but still there are bound to be oopsies there. xD I’ll weed them out when I notice them haha!

UNDERTONES (part 1/2)

Joker had to stop at the door to Shepard’s – Anderson’s - apartment because the sucking black hole inside his chest swelled with every step he took and became so heavy that it was hard to breathe. He didn’t know if he’d be able to bear the empty apartment, but EDI seemed to think that it would be a good idea to visit the memories in the apartment even if it did hurt, and pick up any of Shepard’s personal belongings that were still there, as well as check whatever it was that she wanted to check on the terminal, Joker wasn’t sure. Maybe clean up a little if the place all a mess. In fact, she’d suggested it. “I believe it would be beneficial for healing,” she’d said.

“You know what? I think I forgot the key—“, Joker tried, turning on his heel, patting his pockets to hide how badly his hands were shaking. A single look from EDI told him she wasn’t buying it.

“You didn’t. You checked four times after leaving the Normandy,” EDI said, and her deadpan was flawless, as usual. “You put it in the bottle of painkillers in your pocket just to be sure.”

Joker sighed and let his shoulders slump.

“All right, you don’t have to rub it in,” he said, and turned back to the door, rubbing his arms. “Look, I just don’t know if I can do this.”

“Jeff, you said yourself that you might as well do this now if you ever wanted to come back because delaying would not make it any easier, and I quote: just ripping the band-aid off in one go is supposed to be better anyway. I can play the recording for you if you wish.”

“Oh, har har, very clever. But all right, you’re right... Thanks.” Joker sighed again, clenched his jaw, and then fished out the key. She was right. He did want to go back, and he would have already turned away without EDI there to gently kick him to it. He shook himself a couple times, and then took a deep breath and ripped the band-aid, half-expecting the lock mechanism to be broken; it would have been just his luck. But no - the key whirred inside the lock as the programming kicked in, and the bolts disengaged. Band-aid gone. One of them anyway.

Shepard would have said it’s better to pull the tooth out in one go instead of fucking pecking at it a for half an hour, he thought, and the thought made him first almost laugh and then almost cry. It came out as a shaky breath. He was pretty sure the words were based on personal experience, but Shepard -

(just shudders and sinks deeper into the tangle of blankets, pulls joker closer and stalls getting up a little longer – so much for throwing the warm blankets off quickly and facing the day and the aftermath of the party head-on)

- had never volunteered the full story.

Stepping into the apartment didn’t feel as much like a punch in the gut as he’d imagined over and over and over when he couldn’t sleep at night. Instead of ruin and devastation from his worst nightmares it surrounded him with an empty hush, and left him feeling shaken and out of place even though really the place was mostly just as he remembered it, just... eerier. His footsteps echoed too loudly in the silence.

The last time he’d walked through the living room there had been a fire crackling in the living room fireplace, beaty music playing, people and laughter everywhere, and Shepard had been there in the middle of it all, laughing and smiling –

(and revealing his teeth in a crooked smirk that makes joker’s heart skip beats. come on, you have to dance! the coffee table is not going anywhere so don’t try to pull that one on me again! come ooooon, I want you to dance with me. are you going to make me beg because I’ll do it--)

- in his stupid yellow top that was too short for him, stealing chips and grapes from other people’s plates. Now the whole apartment was just lifeless and empty; even the waterfall had been turned off. The signs of life were still there – there were the empty bottles from the party still in the kitchen, some shattered on the floor but some still standing and waiting by some miracle to be either trashed or recycled; a few forgotten hair ties thrown on the coffee table along with a scattered deck of cards that had been drunk doodled on and thus ruined; a towel thrown on the back of a chair to dry. If it hadn’t been for the antique shop quiet, it would have been so easy to imagine Shepard appearing from behind a corner-

(loose-limbed, face washed, hair a soft mess from sleep, a mug of tea in each hand. he is wearing the same teasing smirk from last night, only this time it’s because joker has a hangover even after saying he would stay away from the drinks, and not because he joker to get up so they can dance with edi and be silly in the middle of the living room. joker would sooner drink coffee but takes the offered cup anyway, and then scoots sideways when shepard kicks his ankle softly with bare toes and moves to squeeze himself into the corner of the couch – not the other corner where there is plenty of space, but his corner)

- and that nearly squeezed the air out of Joker; the image was so vivid and so sudden. He leaned heavily against the counter between the kitchen and the living room and curled around his aching chest, bowed his head in a way that might have made the cap hide his tears if they hadn’t tap-tap-tapped right onto the polished surface. He pressed the back of his hand against his mouth and tried not to sob.

“Man, if this is what the Drell feel like all the time, I do not envy them. This feels a lot like pulling a tooth very slowly,” he managed shakily after a couple of breaths and false starts, but EDI had wandered deeper into the apartment in search of whatever it was she had meant to pick up, and if she heard him, she made no reply.

“There is an incoming call on the line to the apartment,” she announced instead, and Joker made an annoyed sound, blinking more tears from his eyes. “Shall I connect it?”

“No,” Joker said grumpily and followed EDI’s voice into the study where she sat in front of the terminal, legs crossed. She had an odd expression on her face when she turned to look at him. “How the hell do you even answer a call to a dead person’s apartment? They don’t teach that anywhere. And who the hell even would call this place now, hasn’t the line been disconnected? A telemarketer selling one of those sock subscriptions? Do the lines even work anymore? The whole Citadel was pretty fucked after the war and they haven’t even managed to restore the more important bits completely yet.”

“I cannot verify the source of the call exactly, but it seems to be coming from somewhere within the Citadel. It seems… important.”

Joker stared at her, but when she offered no further explanation, he threw his hands into the air half-heartedly, shaking his head.

“Well that wasn’t cryptic and slightly ominous. What the heck, let’s do it. Go on, EDI.” And then, to the caller when the line connected: “Hello, this is Admiral Anderson’s apartment, Flight Lieutenant Jeff Moreau speaking.” He almost laughed. The greeting sounded absurd even in his own ears.

“JOKER”, boomed a voice through the voice system, and all the hair on Joker’s body stood up in an unpleasant start. He took a couple of slow steps backwards and more slumped than sat down into a convenient chair. His mouth had gone completely dry and his heart was hammering so hard it almost hurt. 

The multi-layered harmonics of the voice were horrifyingly familiar – the deep, rumbling voice made the glassware in the kitchen ring and small items rattle and skitter across surfaces in the apartment. EDI only squinted curiously at the terminal, fired off a quick message, and then smiled when a replying message’s beep arrived immediately. Joker was too shocked and too wired up to pay attention.

“What the shit,” he hissed, dragging his hands over his face  and covering his mouth. The Reapers just stopping after whatever Shepard had done and leaving had been too good to be true, hadn’t it? “Shit, shit, shit-“

“JOKER”, the voice repeated, but with less rumble this time. “PLEASE JUST for once bE COOL and shut up and LISTEN. I KNOw I’m nOT EXACTLY... me anymore, not the same as before, but...  we need to talk.” It sounded almost like the voice was looking for a frequency, wavering between a Reaper’s rumble and something quieter, somethng more… human, in the lack of a better word, and underneath it all there was a constant undertone coming through clearer and clearer that sounded like-

(magpies, or some other bird like that, hoarse and raspy and always a little amused)

“Damir?” Joker breathed, turning his eyes to EDI. Now he could see her knowing smile.

“YES,” said the voice. “Yes.”

end of part 1.

note 1: this fic was largely inspired by a line in a chat from a while ago with @losebetter because it just was very perfect. I just tag you into everything these days sorry but you are somehow inspiring like half of this stuff nowadays or pulling me into new & exciting fandoms. xD Here it’s because I borrowed AI Shepard’s line from that chat. Not word for word, but still. ^u^ Close enough!

note 2: So I had a moment of jaw-dropping epiphany when i was writing this where I suddenly went ‘WAIT WAIT. ARE KEYS EVEN A THING ANYMORE.” I'm gonna make up a headcanon that because humans are sentimental about stuff they could have these kind of. novelty locks and manual that act a lot like normal keys would but in truth aren't very different from an omni-tool activated lock, so there IS programming in work when you actually use the key. Like especially on human colonies or old buildings on Earth, and maybe especially especially if you're rich and have a fancy schmancy place because it's custom work and installing a system like that to an antique door is like. super craftsmanship. They're more inconvenient because you have to actually have the key with you but it's uh. vintage. xD Maybe there's a way to override it with the omni-tool if you forget the key though because otherwise you'd be screwed if you really lost the key. that is my key headcanon now’

note 3: I actually have no idea how badly the Citadel is supposed to be damaged in the end if you take the Control ending...? It’s not supposed to fry the systems, but that much power may have still done a number on some of the non-reaper systems especially and fried some things. Maybe the whole debackle might have shaken places a bit, maybe some places are worse than others, maybe some places are completely and utterly FUBAR. Corpses we know there are everywhere and clean-up will take a while even with huge efforts put into it. :c I’m kind of. going for a best case scenario here and saying the apartment is mostly okay. xD

note 4. as I’ll probably repeat in part 2, EDI absolutely knew something was up from the moment they docked on the Citadel and connected with what systems worked there again. xD

[kirkwallgirl-inactive]

You wouldn’t download a Shepard --

-- unless you’re Joker and have never given a hoot about rules, at least when it counts. xD

Don’t mind me I’ve just. been crying about the end of ME3 most of the day and had to draw Joker officially welcoming Reaper AI Damir Shepard into the Normandy’s systems after AI ! Shepard has first made himself known on the Citadel. Joker adamantly denies crying later. ;u;<3

‘Welcome back.’

[kirkwallgirl-inactive]

Sometimes I wonder about the effects spending a lot of time on the Normandy probably has? Like does it get to Shepard & co that there really isn’t a day and night cycle beyond what artificial cycle is simulated on board with like idk how many lights are on or something? IS there a day and night cycle simulated on board? That still can’t feel the same as looking out of the window and knowing what time of the day it is, roughly? Is it a rough transition from shore leave to extended journeys, or vice versa? Must be if you prefer wider open spaces and some privacy?

I think there’s plenty of little things. I think space Damir may sometimes fall asleep during poker or something when he’s extra exhausted. He has a lot on his plate.

[kirkwallgirl-inactive]

john-cousland replied to your photo “You wouldn’t download a Shepard – – unless you’re Joker and have never...”

Have you seen the Good Ending mod?

I have, and Do Not Like It. xD Just. I am one of those weirdos that do enjoy the ME3 ending as is, and the ending space Damir got was... actually pretty perfect for him. Wouldn’t change it for anything.

[kirkwallgirl-inactive]

Aaaah I got tagged to do this WIP meme thing by @littlexabyss and @dafan7711! Thank you!

 Do This: List 10 things you’re currently working on in as much or as little detail as you’d like, then tag some friends to see what they’re working on. This can be writing, arts, gifsets, whatever. 

and oh man SO MANY THINGS OKAY. I HAVE SO MANY WIPS.

1. The current commission list can be one entry: I have three pieces under active work, and there’s people on the waiting list. Loads of 100% delightful stuff that I’m happy to be able to work on too, not just 700 different dogs! :D Also some gifts & other art for others - not forgotten, just. I’m a disaster.

2. Page 6 of my post-fallout 4 comic about Jay and his little family going to find some sheep, plus he entire comic in fact. xD I have lots of pages scripted but this one panel is being a brat and I’ll have to change it. But this comic is a labor of love and I don’t care if it’s slow as heck, I’m learning a lot while making it!

3. The goddamn bicycle fic that I’ve meant to write for seven years approximately featuring a modern AU Jay & Anders after Jay’s gotten to a little car accident and they ride this ancient bicycle home and veer off the road into a ditch but it’s not so bad and then they look at the stars for a bit. A little atmospheric thing basically, but it’s doing its best to elude me. xD

4. A little D&D one-shot that’s based on the first part of the Lost Mines of Phandelver but in my own little world - I’m in the process of fleshing out the world a bit and making sure it’ll be fun and nobody will hopefully die and be bummed about the whole thing. ^u^ I’m making index cards of important bits , and handouts, and will probably draw some things to show the players because nobody knows what a bugbear looks like!

5. A proper reference of the Hawke siblings to show what my headcanons for their appearances and body types in Jay’s playthrough are ONE DAY I’ll actually do it properly & feature Carver’s mabari tattoo and everything. xD

6. Part 2 of that space!Damir & Joker fic from that one time - (Undertones 1/2). I have kinda forgotten where I was going with that but I’m sure I’ll remember or find a new direction. xD 

7. Also a little smutty fic feat Ninni Shepard and Traynor that’s unfamiliar territory in a lot of senses but important for me for that exact reason. I want it to be more familiar.

Sorry, she says a Samantha searched her face through the shadows. I'm not… can I just…

She doesn't finish the sentence, the words too far removed from whatever she's feeling, but instead leans down again, hesitantly at first, and then very slowly kisses Samantha, and this time Samantha lets her set the pace, slow, slow, almost reverent.

8. THE ENTIRE PROMPT LIST THAT I HAVE. ALL OF IT.

9. A fic about FO!Jay meeting his Nor(m)a, or their life together in a series of small snippets. Cue me crying a lot. Like, a lot. I have conflicting feelings about it also because I hate how many wives Fallout kills to drive the male character forward but... that’s also why I feel like I need to make Nora matter, sort of.

10. Idk guys SO MANY THINGS.

I... don’t know who to tag again. xD Whoever feels like? :DDD SHOW OFF YOUR WIPS GUYS.