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ladylooch · 9 months

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Letters in Your Last Name - Chapter 29

A/N: Another fun, sweet chapter. When they're having the moment before the part. Ugh... That sweetness! Also, the last 7 chapter have pretty big time skips between them. It was a slow, slow build story 🤣

Word Count: 4.2k

Warnings: Mature-ish themes, but not full blown smut.

“Buh!” Luca Fiala squeals to me, pointing his small finger at the punch I’m stirring around. It’s blue, his favorite color, causing his brown eyes to dance excitedly. He looks up at me, cheeks pinched from his large smile. I can’t help it; I smile back then smother his cute face with kisses.

“Juice!” I exclaim to him. “Only for the older kids though. Let’s get them hopped up on sugar and send them home.”

Renata, who is configuring the fruit tray, laughs at us both.

“Good idea. Luca is full of smiles today.” She murmurs, arranging the grapes on their vine so they stay on the platter.

“Well yeah! He’s a big, one year old!” I bounce Luca on my hip. He nods as if he understands, then points to a strawberry. He brings his fingers to his mouth and looks at his babička expectantly. I glance back at the clock, realizing he probably is hungry. “Renata, would you mind cutting up some of that fruit for him? There is also bananas on the counter.”

“I would love to!” She eagerly swoops the baby from my arms, murmuring to him in Czech as she walks him to his high chair. It’s so nice to have her and Jan here for Luca’s birthday. Every time we see them, they dive right in to support the household. Unfortunately, Laura could not get away from work as it’s currently their busy season.

“Where is daddy with those balloons?” I wonder, walking to the garage door and tugging it open. Kevin’s new Porsche is there, stuffed with balloons, but no Kevin.

“Babe?” I call, stepping one foot out the door.

“Ya?” He responds from somewhere I can’t see.

“You working hard or hardly working?”

His head pops up from the other side of the car and he glares at me.

“I’m trying to figure out how to get this… fucking… thing… out.” He huffs at me. I laugh and step further into the garage. My feet tingle in protest to the cold cement. March in Minnesota has yet to transition to warmer weather. The residual chill of winter clings fiercely to the ground. This morning, there were even a few snowflakes falling into our yard.

“Well you got it in okay?” I question, coming to stand next to him. His nose is wrinkled in distaste.

“What is this even for? He’s one.” His tone implies I’ve forgotten our son won’t remember today at all.

“Hush.” I silence him with an equal snip in my voice. He rolls his eyes and gestures for me to try pulling them out. I reach in, grabbing the end and tugging. After maneuvering two stubborn balloons around the seatbelt in the back, the entire thing comes out with ease. “Wow. Good thing you’re pretty.” I grin at my husband who throws his hands up in annoyance.

“I didn’t realize it was caught on something.” He grumbles, grabbing the other end and following me into the house.

When Kevin walks in behind me, Luca’s entire being lights up. He throws down his strawberry and squeaks for his dad. He bounces in the highchair, trying to get loose and reaches his arms up for Kevin. We walk the balloon arch to where Luca’s is, draping it so his chair is in the center. Renata helps us make a few more adjustments, then we tape it to the wall. I grin at the finished product, satisfied with my purchase.

“This is what it’s for.” I give my husband a pointed stare. He steps back and nods his head.

“Looks great.” His grin is extra cheesy before he bites his lip at my warning look. Kevin snickers as he leans down, rubbing Luca’s brown locks. Luca holds up a piece of banana to his dad. It has started to turn pink from mixing with the berries on the tray. Kevin shakes his head no.

“Nein danke, Kumpel.” Kevin responds to him. No thank you, buddy.

Luca turns, offering it to me.

“No, thank you.” Luca frowns then pops the fruit into his mouth.

“Did he sleep while I was gone?”

“No. He just cried, so we are going into the party with no nap.” Kevin widens his eyes and I nod my head in understanding.

“Should be interesting.”

“Fialas!” A bellow comes from the front door. Kevin and I turn, seeing Al, Felicia and the kids walking in. Sawyer and Serena immediately head into the living room, bypassing both of us and clicking on the TV. “Hey, rude.” Alex snaps his fingers at the kids, motioning for them to come back to greet us. “And tell your cousin happy birthday.” Alex insists after hugs have been received.

“Happy birthday, Luca!!!” Serena yells at him. Luca bops excitedly to her tone, reaching out for her to have a strawberry too. I laugh, shaking my head at his insistence on sharing. I don’t envision that sticking around in the toddler phase.

“How’s my cute nephew?” Alex wonders, taking Luca out of his highchair after removing his bib.

“He’s covered in food. Probably a little sticky too.” Kevin warns Alex.

“At this stage of parenthood, it doesn’t bother me.” He shrugs. “Let’s just say I’ve touched worse.” We all laugh with the knowledge of experiencing much worse than strawberry juice.

“He’s only going to get stickier as the day goes on.” I tell Kev, looking at his Alexander McQueen sweatshirt. He waves his hand at my questioning.

“Yeah, Kev, you better get that million dollar sweatshirt off.” Matt Boldy’s voice rings out from behind me.

“Matty!” I exclaim, wrapping him into a tight hug.

“Hi mama.” He says with his boyish grin. He’s grown up since we first met, but his charming smile has stayed the same. He keeps an arm wrapped around my shoulders as he teases my husband. “Dude what the fuck are you wearing?” He motions to Kevin’s sweatshirt. It’s definitely one of the more out there designs from McQueen- with tan skeletons patterned along the black fabric. “Like this is your one year old’s birthday party. Why are we channeling the grim reaper? Al, look at fucking daddy doom over here.” Matt’s eyes twinkle smugly. Alex chokes on a laugh and gives Matt a fist bump.

“You two fucks can walk out that door you just came in.” Kevin points to the open front door.

“It’s fashion. You two wouldn’t understand.” I insist with a deadpan expression. It doesn’t last long because we all start to laugh at Kevin’s obvious exasperation, including Luca.

“Hey.” Kevin whines, gesturing to our kid. “Give me my baby.” He huffs, taking him from Al’s arms. Luca doesn’t even rest against Kevin’s chest before Matt has his hands on him. Luca grins excitedly at Matt and reaches for him, wiggling against Kevin’s grip. Kevin begrudgingly releases the baby to his favorite Wild player. Luca grabs at Matt’s nose so Matt honks at him, causing infectious, squeaky giggles to break out of our son. I wrap my arms around Kevin’s hips, squeezing myself to him.

“Never change.” I whisper, tilting my lips up towards his face. My black lashes bat lightly together, doe eyes present to take the tension from Kevin. It works. His jaw relaxes and he presses me in tighter to his chest. Our lips meet gently together. My eyes close in pleasure as his hands dip into the back pockets of my jeans. Even with all these people around, his hands feel comfortable exploring his favorite places.

“I can’t wait to have you later.” He whispers against my lips.

“You had me this morning.” I reminded him as I lay my cheek against his chest. My hands run up this back, resting as far up as they can go then pressing my palms in to hold me to him. His fingers weave together at the small of my back. We sway slightly as people move around us, continuing to prepare for our guests.

“Wasn’t enough. It never is.” His lips sweep the top of my head as he speaks. I smile in full agreement.

More guests arrive and the party begins to fill. Luca is instantly showered with attention. Our little ham of a boy is eating it up- for the most part. There was only one hiccup when his tears had to be soothed after being told by his dědeček Jan that he couldn’t have a cupcake yet.

Soon enough, after being stuffed full of tacos, Luca’s inherited sweet tooth is finally cured.

I watch expectantly from my seat next to him as Kevin sets Luca’s ombre blue smash cake in front of him with the big, number 1 placed in the center.

“Happy birthday, Luca!” Kevin exclaims, running his hand over our son’s brown hair.

Luca stares intently at the cake, then pulls his brown eyes away to look at all of us. His eyes are wide, taking in all the adults staring at him. We are all leaned down, wild expressions filled with excitement, hoping he will make a mess shoving his small hands into his cake.

“Ya gotta eat it.” Serena encourages him from where she has wiggled in next to Renata.

Luca’s brown eyes slide to Kevin, then to me and his lips begins to tremble.

“You’re okay, baby.” I comfort him, getting down to his level and smooching at his cheek. Kevin goes to the other side and we both kiss at his puffed cheeks, causing his tremble to turn into an infectious giggle. The crowd awes and snaps pictures. Luca reaches for the cake with a newfound confidence and grabs a handful of the frosting. Instead of bringing it to his mouth, he puts it against Kevin’s mouth. The crowd dissolves into laughter as Kevin nods his head, licking his lips.

“Probably should have saw that coming. Tastes great though. Good job, babe.” He gives a thumbs up, then grabs the napkin from my mom to wipe the rest off. Our eyes meet over our baby causing my heart to flutter. My goodness, he still gets to me.

Luca begins to smash his hands in the cake forcefully causing more gleeful yells from the crowd. Soon, he’s back to putting on a show and covered from head to toe in blue frosting.

“What a messy boy.” Renata murmurs, eyes twinkling with pure joy at being here.

“I’ll take this kind of mess over his newborn stage any day.” I joke with her, watching as he grabs a fist full of the darkest blue frosting and shoves it into his already matted hair. “I’m glad it’s daddy’s turn for bath time too.”

“I think it’s going to have to be a shower.” Kevin laughs, tilting his head and taking in our beaming son.

“Kevin’s first birthday was just like this. Except he dove face first into the real cake.” She shakes her head with a far off look. “Took days to get the frosting out of his baby rolls.”

“And thus began his love affair with cake.” I thread my fingers through the side of Kevin’s hair, resting my hand against his neck.

“I was a really fat baby.” He tells me with widened eyes. “Luca missed that stage.”

“Maybe our next baby will be chunky.” I say to Kevin casually. Luca reaches out with his hand to us filled with cake. The sugary goodness oozes out from between his fingers as he squeezes. He squeals in delight at the feeling in his hand. Kevin stares dreamily at me, leaning forward and kissing the side of my mouth, begging for my lips. I turn, placing them together. “Not yet.” I whisper to him. Kevin knows this. Luca’s birth was traumatic. I needed to heal more than just physically after it.

“I know. But…” And he trails off, not even knowing how to express his deep, yearning desire to fill this house with our babies. “Thank you.” He finally says to me instead. “For giving us the greatest gift.”

“You helped.”

“I did nothing.” He shakes his head with a scrunched look. “And that’s why I will wait patiently and quietly until you’re ready.” He turns away from me to look back at our son. I watch his features, noting the way his strong cheeks tighten with a smile as Luca smashes some more cake on his tray. Kevin leans his head slightly back to laugh causing a lump of overwhelming appreciation to lodge in my throat.

“Damn it.” The words drop from my lips breathlessly. Looking at his face, knowing what kind of a dad and husband he has been to our family. I know we can do anything together. I’m about ready to go right here in front of all our guests.

“Hmm?” He asks, a questioning look pulling his eyebrows down.

“I want this with you again. You know that.”

“Yes, mama.” He smiles, eyes soft and adoring. “In the meantime, I’m going to go clean up the birthday boy. He’s looking about five minutes away from lights out.” Kevin stands, setting his can of Coke Zero down. He places a gentle hand under my chin, tilting my lips up so he can place his on mine. When they touch, small, vibrating tingles trail down my face and lodge in my chest. Kevin’s smile against my lips tells me he feels them too. “I’ll never get sick of this.” His nose nudges mine briefly as he pulls away.

Kevin walks to Luca’s highchair as the crowd begins to disperse to other areas. The birthday boy squeaks in protest at Kevin’s murmurs about cleaning up. Kevin pulls off his designer sweatshirt to expose a plain white T beneath. He picks Luca up and our baby wiggles against him in protest, instantly smearing blue across the blank shirt.

“Let’s go give mama kisses. It’s kinda her day too.” Kevin says as I stand to meet them. Luca’s eyes are already drooping. He reaches up to rub at his face, blinking rapidly against the frosting getting in his eyelashes. I pucker my lips to him as he leans in, thrusting his sticky, wet lips against mine.

“Oh! You taste as sweet as you look.” I lean forward and smooch both of his cheeks loudly. Despite his tiredness, a little smirk comes through on his face. Everything about him reminds me of his daddy. I shake my head, meeting my husband’s gaze. “He’s too much like you.”

“Yeah, we are in trouble.” Kevin confirms, giving Luca’s belly a quick poke. “To the shower.”

Later that night, I’m in Luca’s room, rocking him in the chair next to his bed. As I brush his baby hairs away from his forehead, my mind begins to wander a year in the past. I can remember vividly how terrifying it was to hold him here, just days after giving birth, while Kevin was packing for his first road trip.

“Babe, have you seen my suit bag?” Kevin asks, coming into the nursery to find me quietly sobbing. “Are you okay?” His voice comes out dripping with concern as he rushes to me. His eyes scan both Luca and I, not seeing any obvious signs of distress.

“No.”

“Are you in pain?” He asks, kneeling down next to the chair. “I know you don’t want to take the meds, but if you need them, the doctor said-“

“I’m not in pain.” I insist even though I am, but that’s not what is wrong. “I don’t want you to leave us.”

Kevin’s hand rubbing my back stills. His eyes slide away from mine and look down at our sleeping newborn being supported by a pillow under my arms. When he speaks, his words are carefully chosen and quiet.

“You know I have to go. I would rather stay here with you.” I nod, more tears dashing down my cheeks. I look away from him as my chest starts to heave with heavier sobs. My abdomen tightens and pain throbs along my incision site. This is really, really hard. I couldn’t have imagined how difficult this would be even a week ago. But right now, I’m still healing. There is so much I am relying on Kevin to do. Also, don’t even get me started on how difficult and painful breastfeeding has been. The newborn life I imagined for us had a lot more glow than the reality so far.

“I don’t know how I can do this by myself.” I finally say to him, voice shaking with each word.

“Tell me what to say, babe… I don’t know…” Kevin struggles, reaching for my arm. “I’m here.”

“But in an hour you won’t be. And it will just be me and him.” I turn back to look at my husband. I can see the distress in Kevin’s features. The silence blankets the room. What more is there left to say? He can’t stay. I’ll have to do this on my own. Knowing this, I gather the courage to wipe away my tears. “Your suit bag is in the front closet.”

“Sam.” My name sounds painful as it falls from his lips. I shake my head at him as Luca begins to whine in my arms.

“Go finish packing. I have to feed Luca anyway.” After a pause of hesitation, Kevin silently rises and leaves the room.

The Wild wives warned me about this. The sadness, resentment and ache of loneliness that comes from co-parenting with an NHL player. I didn’t expect to feel it so soon. I slowly maneuver my aching body to undress enough for Luca to eat. He latches immediately, which is good, but my nipples are sore and chapped, so it’s painful. Kevin returns minutes later.

“I called your mom and she’s going to come stay with you two while I’m gone.” I open my mouth to respond but he holds a hand up to silence me. “I’ll never actually know what this has been like for you. But I hope you don’t think that I’m getting off easy here. I don’t think I’ll ever get over how helpless I felt watching what you went through to have him. It kills me watching how much pain you are in knowing that I can’t take any of this from you. I’ve been dreading this road trip every other minute since Luca was born. I don’t want to leave you. I don’t want your mom to come over and take care of you. It should be me. That’s what I signed up for. But I can’t. All I can do is get on that plane and work my ass off, so I can make this worth something to us.” Sadness is obvious in his eyes as he gets on his knees in front of me. “I love you so much, Sam. More than anything else in this world.”

His hands are shaking from trying to control his emotions. He places one hand against Luca’s head where he is still nursing. Kevin takes in the sight of him suckling, thumb brushing across the thick, dark hair he was born with. Soon, Luca is asleep again, releasing his vice like grip on me. Kevin reaches for him, pulling him up to his shoulder and gently patting his back. Our baby whines at being awaken, but Kevin soothes him gently in Czech. I slide my clothing into place again and lean back, watching my boys.

“This will get easier.” I finally say to my husband. “It’s hard right now because everything is so new.” Kevin nods in response as he paces the room with Luca. “I love you.” I say gingerly, causing him to turn to look at me. “How could I not when you look that good with our baby on your chest?”

In a few more weeks, things did get easier. We found a new routine that worked for the three of us. Kevin showed up every way I asked him to and more. When he couldn’t be here, the village of NHL Wives arrived at our door with reinforcements like dinner and an extra set of arms. My lips lift into a smile, thinking of how far we have come since that first week, including our son.

At a year old, Luca Fiala has changed significantly. Gone is the new baby smell and fresh skin. In their place is rolls of perfect pudge and the smell of lavender soap. His limbs are sprawled out every which way instead of being neatly tucked into a swaddle. His eyes are closed and I find myself counting every one of his long lashes he inherited from his dad. His mouth has ceased sucking on his nook. One day soon, we will need to start breaking him from that, but for now, we let him. It’s one more sign that he’s still our baby even as every day he looks and acts more like an actual person.

I look up at motion in the doorway, seeing my husband leaning against the door jam. The hallway light casts his shadow into the room. The darkness of it hides his face, but even from there I can feel his desire reaching out for me.

“He fell asleep awhile ago.” Kevin points out. He’s growing impatient at having to wait for me to join him in bed.

“I can’t put him down.” I confess.

“Maybe this will entice you.” He murmurs, pulling his shirt over his shoulders to expose his toned body. He’s in late season form. My body begins to tingle, thinking of my tongue sliding along every groove of his abdomen.

“That’ll do.” I nod, standing and walking to Luca’s crib. I set him in, re-positioning his pajamas that had slid awkwardly off his shoulder. He’s in between sizes right now and nothing fits him quite right.

“Works every time.” Kevin chuckles, taking my hand and leading me from the room.

Unexpectedly, after closing the door to Luca’s room, I burst into tears.

“Whoa, babe.” Kevin murmurs, pulling me into his chest and walking us further down the hall, away from our sleeping son.

“He’s growing up so fast.” I sob. “I’m not ready for this. It’s like.. first birthday, then going to school then driving and boom, he moves out!”

“There are thousands of days before most of those things happen.” Kevin soothes me. “And don’t think I didn’t notice you not talking about a first date in there.”

“Stop. I am already emotional enough without that discussion.” I throw my hands around his strong shoulders and he picks me up.

“I better take your mind off all that growing up.”

“Yeah.” I encourage him as his lips find my neck. “Fuck me until I can’t think.” I insist as he lays me on my back. He pulls my t-shirt up from my stomach, then begins to place light kisses along the surface. It’s not a surprise to me that his lips go over my c-section scar. It’s been a regular occurrence since Luca. Tonight, his lips stay there longer, pressing deep into my skin until his nose is smushed there as well. He caresses my body like he’s thanking it for all that it’s done. My fingers slide through his brown locks as he sighs against me. Goosebumps break out across my stomach when he pulls away to look at me.

“Earlier, when you were carrying Luca around the kitchen, putting the chips in a bowl…” He trails off as he slowly crawls up the bed to me. “I wanted to grab you.” I bite my lip and let out a heavy sigh as his thumbs come to my nipples. “And fuck you against the counter until you couldn’t hold yourself up anymore.”

“That would have been quite the show for your mom.” I joke to him, watching as he leans down to connect our lips in a soft press. Kevin laughs against my mouth.

“Yeah.. I guess it’s a good thing I have some self control.” He tugs my lip into his mouth, nibbling gently.

“You’re pretty obsessed with me these days.” I point out to him, appreciating the feeling of his hands unbuttoning my jeans.

“I always am.”

“No. This is different.” I insist to him, threading my hands through his hair. He pauses his movements, tilting his head to look at me. He waits, looking at my features, wondering if he should say what’s on his mind. “Kev.” I murmur, not giving him longer to decide.

“Luca is getting older and… I just… I love watching you as a mom to our kid. I loved watching you grow our kid too. I want to watch you do both. Like right now.”

“First of all, how dare you say Luca is getting older. He is going to be our baby forever.” Kevin snorts at me. “Second of all, I was thinking…” I trail off, looking at the dark stubble lining his jaw line. “Maybe this is the last month I’ll take my birth control.”

“You know I’m 100% okay with that. But, I want you to know you’re ready for that. Today was the first time you even considered the idea with me”

“I know.” I insist, shaking my head. “But, I do feel ready to try.”

“Okay. Promise me that if we get to next month and you feel differently, you’ll do what you feel is best.” I nod my head in agreement.

We seal our deal with a kiss.

After, I watch the father of my child kiss down my abdomen and take my sensitive flesh into his mouth.

I moan, Kevin hums, and all other thoughts disappear.

#letters in your last name au #kevin fiala #Kevin Fiala Fic #los angeles kings #my writing #hockey fan fiction #hockey writing #NHL writing

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