first confession (4.07) — last confession (15.18)
Confession is good for the soul, they say. I'd imagine this is true. But my sins were too convoluted. And from the little I understand — too damning.
for a long time, dean denies that there’s anything serious going on between him and cas. even if that’s what his heart yearns for. he tells himself over and over that cas just wants dean out of hunger, out of desire, because angels can’t fall in love… cas can’t fall in love.
but dean can’t stop himself from falling; it was too late from the very first touch, the very first rushed kiss. but it’s not serious. it’s not real….
until it is real.
until, one morning, cas comes into the kitchen, where sam and eileen and jack are all sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast as dean finishes making bacon. cas walks up behind dean and brushes a kiss across the back of dean’s neck, murmuring a soft, “hello dean.”
and when dean turns around, about to say good morning to cas even though he was startled by cas’ overt display of affection in front of everyone- an unspoken rule they’d never crossed before, that everything between them was for their eyes only- he realizes something monumental.
cas isn’t wearing his usual suit and trenchcoat. no. instead, he’s wearing dean’s led zeppelin tshirt that dean had been wearing yesterday- the one cas had thrown on the floor before they’d tumbled into bed between gasped breaths and desperate kisses- with one of dean’s hoodies tied around his waist.
before dean can say anything, cas leans in, pressing their lips together in a kiss; soft and tender, in a way cas has never kissed him before.
in the back of dean’s mind, he registers that this is the first time cas has ever worn something of his. the first time cas has walked around in dean’s clothes like they belong to him.
when dean breaks the kiss, cas has that beautiful soft smile on his face that makes dean feel weak in the knees. he knots his hand into the collar of cas shirt to steady himself… his tshirt that cas is wearing, and he utters in shock, “you’re wearing my clothes.”
cas laugh, rolling his eyes fondly as he says, “good morning to you too, dean.”
and that. that right there. that’s when dean realizes it is something serious. because when cas leans in again, and dean meets him halfway, the kiss is just as gentle and sweet as the last.
the kiss. cas wearing dean’s clothes. kissing right there in the kitchen at breakfast where their entire family is currently teasing them and loudly yelling about bets lost or won.
dean knows it now.
cas loves him, too.