#decided to let peppino answer this

[creature-of-pizza]

Silly question for pepp, have they ever try to clime or jump at the Christmas tree like a cat does?

[alextydaisuda123]

Hi, I'm sorry if what I ask bothers you, but what would be the reaction of steampunk bosses to Failure Tower bosses? You don't have to answer this question if you want, sorry if it bothers you

Steampunk Pepperman doesn't care about other Pepperman's defects in appearance. He just wanted to help fix his fake skin, because due to the negligence of another, the seams came apart. SP! Pepperman barely persuaded Failure Pepperman to simply help him sew up the seams (after all, SP! Pepperman knows how to sew, he sewed his own gloves, a belt with pockets and a beret). I think that the other Pepperman was afraid to show his double his “imperfection”, fearing condemnation, which is why he refused for a long time. But he still remained grateful to him for such help.

Did you expect that there would be a serious conversation between two cheese slimes? Ha! Sorry, no). They decided to dream about the two Peppermen they love. Sorry, but I couldn't without Pepperlante. I love this ship too much, so let them think about something good ☺️.

But for two Noises, the opposite happened. They started talking about their injuries and Failure Noise started talking too much about how he wanted to kill Peppino. Steampunk Noise doesn’t know what to say, so he supports him so-so and just listens to him silently. Apparently the other Noise needed to at least speak out to someone, even if it was his double from another AU.

[kieranxworld]

Cheer up Call [Peppino Spaghetti]

➜ Peppino Spaghetti x Jessica Rabbit like! Reader

➜ Pure Fluff, Suggestive Content!

➜ Peppino was having one hell of day, so his buddy Gustavo calls the one person who could brighten his mood up.

➜ No really big warnings, besides suggestive content (no full out smut today folks), cursing, the noise being...the noise. Reader being sassy and not putting up with anyone disrespecting Peppino.

➜ A/n: This was inspired by This Post by @thatgirlgames and- I LOVE THIS CONCEPT! I might write a full fic based off soon, anyways. Enjoy the fic and hope you enjoy!

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Peppino wanted to rip what little hair he had left out of his head.

There was a lunch time rush of customers, and normally that wouldn't be a bad thing. But these people were Rude.

They were rushing Peppino, yelling at poor Gustavo and Pep, one of whom barely could understand what they were yelling at. And poor brick, who they sometimes used to bring the pizza's to the customers, was getting kicked around too.

Then once that shitshow ended.

They trailed in.

Who's they one may ask? Well, The Noise and Pepperman. Two of the most annoying people in the world.

You see, after the destruction of the Pizza Tower that threatened his business the villains that inhabited the castle has no where to go.

Peppino took in his clone, allowing him to work along side him at his pizzeria.

The Vigilante did end up finding work at a bar down town.

Pepperman was an artist, so he wasn't out of a job in the first place. Neither did The Noise, he was a mascot for Domionions (don't know if spelt that right-). But they found great pleasure in coming to bother Peppino.

And today they decided to do just that.

Right after the rush, no more than an hour later they decided to come in.

"Hey Fat Man!~"

The Noise thought it would be a bright idea to bring a bomb inside the Pizzeria, which led to the group freaking out and trying to disarm the comically large thing.

Only for the thing to explode confetti all of the place.

Peppino let out a scream of frustration as he had to clean all of this up, and pray that no other customers came in.

Gustavo, saw how irritated his poor friend and coworker was. He knew the man was on the verge of having a mental breakdown.

So knowing what he must do. He pulled out his phone and quickly dialed a number.

Peeping around the corner, seeing Peppino angrily clean as he curses in Italian at the two trouble makers, he sighs in relief when someone answers.

"Hello? May I-a speak to Mrs. Spaghetti?"

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"Aw, what's the matter Italian man? You getting tired of your dear old friends?"

"You-a two are not any friends of-a mine..'

"He's right! We're just here visiting an old pal."

Peppino tapped his hand on the counter. He was counting down until he had to close up shop so those two could LEAVE.

He slammed his head on the counter, another deep groan of annoyance about to leave his body until the familiar chime of the bell.

Peppino didn't really want to deal with another customer right now so he kept his head down.

He only heard the conversations.

"Oooo~ who's the babe?"

"My, My I need to capture her beauty"

Peppino finally sat up, his eyes widening at who was standing in the middle of the pizzeria.

There was a (h/c) woman dressed in a business casual like dress. Her heels were high and her makeup was stunning. She held an irritated look on her face as she looked down at The Noise.

"Hey toots! I asked ya what ya-AH!!"

He didn't get to finish his sentence before he was smacked by her purse.

"I am a married woman thank you very much!" She said before turning on her heel, her anger instantly melting away when she set her eyes on Peppino.

"Darling!!" She quickly ran over and snatched the male from behind the counter, taking him into a hug.

Peppino felt his face heat up as he felt her litter his face with kisses.

"I came as soon as Gustavo called me! He said you were having such a bad day and you needed me!"

Peppino looked back at his dear friend who only gave him a thumbs up.

"Vita Mia, you didn’t have to-a get off work."

She scoffs placing another kiss on his cheek. "Nonsense! My Peppy was feeling down and I came to cheer you up!"

While this happened, Pepperman and The Noise stared in confusion.

"Um hello?! Ya can't keep kissing his face infront of us like that!!"

Peppino rolled his eyes and was about to speak before he was interrupted by the woman.

"Excuse you?! This is my husband, and right now, you're in his restaurant!!" She quickly snapped. "Now question me again and I'll shove my damn foot so-"

"Ah ah! T-thats enough-a Vita Mia. Do not waste-a your breath on them."

Pepperman speaks up before Noise can "Husband?! Not to be rude....um Mrs. Spaghetti..but-"

"My name is (Y/n) and-"

" Fuck it! Ill say it! How does someone like him get with someone like you?!" The Noise finished making (Y/n) sigh.

"Because, Peppino is a wonderful man, who makes me laugh, smile and does his hardest to make sure I'm okay" she says placing another kiss on her husband's cheek.

"That and I just love the way he sounds in the bedroom, the way he manhandles me and-"

Peppino hurried placed a hand over his wife's mouth as his face burns red with embarrassment.

"Tesoro Mio t-thats enough-"

"Oops~, sorry Peppy! But come on!" The (h/c) woman pulls him by his hand towards the exit. Pushing past the two males who stared on in confusion.

"B-but wait! What-a abou-"

"Gustavo said he'll close for you! I have a surprise waiting for you at home~" She winks at him turning the male into a stuttering mess.

Peppino doesn't get to respond before being pulled out the Pizzeria, leaving Gustavo, Brick, Pepperman and The Noise.

"How in the hell did he meet her?!"

"She just-a came in one day, from the big city-a and fell in love with Peppino at first sight."

"Huh????"

"Yea. Small world right?"

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Hope you enjoyed! I love reading over works and being inspired by them!

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[phantomdoofer]

Tower Town, Chapter 22 - The Final Slice

Part 4

Peppino paced as they waited. His and Giuseppe's groups had returned, but the Bosses were still missing. He fingered the earbud Paolo had made for them. “Come on, give-a us something…”

Then Paolo's voice echoed in their ears. “Noisette just made contact with me. They got caught downstairs. Apparently they found the Pizzamancer's monster production. They took it down.”

They looked at each other. Peppino grinned. “Well, that's a mercy.”

“Yep! I'm gonna teleport them there. Stand back.”

They all moved to the sides of the room just in time - the group popped into place.

“-get the ability t’... teleport us…” Noise trailed off - he'd obviously been mid-sentence when he'd been moved. Noise whipped around, staring at the ceiling. “A little warnin’ woulda been nice!” Noise looked around. “All right, gang’s all here, I see.”

“Sì,” Peppino said. “We don't have much time, I think. Let's compare notes.”

As they exchanged their experiences, Giuseppe handed out the earbuds to the Bosses. As the conversation trailed off, Paolo chimed in. “All right, guys, I got some good news and bad news. Good news: I found you a path up to ol’ PM’s throne room.”

“‘Throne Room?’” Pepperman said. “How absolutely pretentious.”

“That's rich, coming from you,” Noise sneered.

“Ahem,” Paolo interrupted. “Sorry, but Peppino's right - we're short on time. Bad news, it's a bit of a gauntlet to get there. And I'm pretty sure PM know she has intruders now.”

Everyone nodded. “So why hasn't he just turned the Tower against us?” Brando mused.

“Remember what I was like as Pizzahead? And what Aldo said?” Paolo said. “He's arrogant and sadistic. He likes messing with people. I'd be willing to bet he set this path up specifically.” A pause. “I'm pretty sure he doesn't actually know who's in the Tower.”

The group all exchanged glances. “All right,” Peppino said, “so we move. Now. Where's this path?”

In answer, the wall behind them opened up, and the whole group jumped away. “He thinks he's funny, putting it here,” Paolo said. “This is an elevator up to the entrance to the path. I'll guide you as much as I can - I'm trying to not make myself too obvious, so I can't make actual changes to the system. It'll be up to you. Keep those devices the gnome gave you handy, just in case PM decides to show up early.”

Peppino cracked his knuckles as he psyched himself up. All right. One last push. He looked around. “Everyone ready?”

Everyone nodded.

“All right,” Paolo said. “Get on and I'll make sure you get up there. Good luck!”

The group filed into the elevator, and the doors made a happy ding as they closed.

~~~~

The doors dinged, opened… and all hell broke loose.

Beams and bullets shot through the air as they stepped out, and everyone went evasive. 

“Jeez!” Giuseppe yelled as he dodged. “Like being back in Inferno in here!”

“Truer than you know, Sepp!” Anita said. “Look around!”

Indeed, the floor ahead of them was filled with boiling sauce.

Peppino groaned. I still have a scar from that shit! “Be careful! That stuff is hot as-a lava! It's deadly!” 

Vigilante was dodging frantically, but he was scoping the place the whole time. “I see the door! But there's no bridge!”

Pepperman bounced off a wall, destroying a turret. “I see a platform, out amongst the sauce! But… it's too far for me to reach!”

“I can do it!” Brando said, knocking away bullets and beams as he spoke. “It won't hurt me!”

Peppino looked a thing. “Are you certain, ragazzo??”

“Positive!”

Peppino nodded grimly. “Do it!”

Suddenly Pepperman grabbed the young chef. “No need to run the whole way! Alley-oop!” He launched Brando towards the platform. Brando flailed a bit as he arced through the air, landing with a strange plorch.

Despite his frantic dodging, Peppino's heart froze. Let him be OK…

Then Brando's head surfaced. He waved. “I'm OK!” He swam over to the platform, climbed out… and realized he was naked. The man blushed furiously…

“Kid!” Giuseppe yelled. “Modesty later! Survival now!” 

Brando blinked, nodded, and stomped on the large button on the platform.

A path rose through the sauce, leading to a walkway above.

Brando swam towards the path. Gus and Brick quickly rolled forward, while Peppino, Giuseppe, Pepperman, and Noise grabbed everyone else and sped across. 

As Brando surfaced, he blushed. “Anyone have some pants?”

A pair of pants and a shirt materialized in front of him. Here!” Paolo's voice. “These are fireproofed! Hurry!”

Brando quickly put them on. While farther away, the bullets and beams were still aiming for them, and they were on a narrower platform. “Velocemente, ragazzo!” Peppino said.

Finishing, the group rushed to a door, which led to a stairway. They rushed up…

The next floor was oddly mechanical. 

Peppino groaned. “Oh no, not the Factory…”

Suddenly a series of cartoonish hands grabbed them all. Several yelped as they were hauled across a wide gap… filled with mechanical versions of the monsters they'd seen for weeks. “I can get you past these, at least!” Paolo’s voice again.

“Thanks!” Peppino said.

As they landed, the floors and ceiling began slamming together. “Crushers!” Fake said. “They arrre too fast! We won't make it through! How-?”

Peppino looked up… and saw something familiar hovering overhead. “Stand under that!” He demonstrated - he stood under it, it flashed downward-

Peppino transformed into a pizza box.

Peppino slid under the crushers… but they didn't extend the whole way, and he fit perfectly. “Come-a on,” He said said in a distorted voice, “it-a feels weird, but it doesn't hurt! Hurry!”

Everyone quickly stood to let themselves be pizzafied… and slid forward. Peppino had been scouting ahead. “Be careful when it changes from floor to ceiling! You can still be crushed!”

Slipping through the cracks, they exited on the other side. “Er, how do we get back to our real forms?” Pepperman asked.

Peppino looked around. “Well, there was a… a priest of some sort before, who changed me back…”

The others looked at him incredulously. Peppino blushed. “Don't-a ask me how it-a worked, it just-a did!”

Noisette wobbled over to an alcove in the wall, with a picture of a person beside it. She stepped in…

“Hon, wait, you don't-!” Noise started.

Suddenly Noisette was her usual self. “Come on, it's fine! Kind of tickles!”

They took turns quickly unboxing themselves, then ran forward… into a wall of mechanical Bosses. Metal Peppermen, Vigilantes, Noises, and Fakes made the hallway incredibly hazardous. 

They hung behind a wall. “So, whadda we do here?” Noise growled. “Don't think we can fight ‘em all.”

Peppino snorted. “If they're like the Peppibots before, they hit hard, but they're pretty fragile. One good hit and they're scrap.” He looked at Giuseppe, Brick, and Pepperman. “We charge them, with-a everyone else following behind.”

Pepperman flexed, and Brick squeaked unusually maliciously. “I think we can handle that.” The Verduran said.

Peppino looked at the others. “Noise, you carry Noisette. Vigi, you're on Pepperman. Anita, you're with Seppe. Gus… I don't-a have to tell you. Brando, you'll be with me. Everyone ready?”

They nodded.

“Noise, be fast. These things will get back up quick if they don't break.”

“I gotcha, fat boy,” Noise said, grinning.

“All-a right.” Brando wrapped his arms around Peppino's neck. Everyone assumed their positions. “All right!” Peppino leapt out, and all the bots turned towards him. “Charge!”

The four blazed forward, bowling robots out of the way. The sound of metal snapping was deafening. Behind, Noise’s rocket roared as he followed behind. “Damn, what are these things made of, tin? They're foldin’ like paper!”

“Don't-a let them touch you, though!” Peppino called behind him. “They hit like a truck!”

Charging through a doorway, they entered a massive vertical hallway. “Mio Dio, is the whole interior hollow??” Peppino wondered.

Giuseppe, Anita, and Vigi turned, firing back into the doorway - the bots were trying to get through to them. “We gotta find a way up, fast!” Giuseppe said, gritting his teeth. 

Peppino looked around. Pretty sure I can climb that, and maybe Vigi, but what about everyone else? Then he saw a row of strange green contraptions… and smiled. “Quick! These things will put you in a bubble! We can get up that way!”

“Er, Peppino?” Noisette said tentatively. “There's some things up there, flying around…”

Looking up and squinting, Peppino expected the small olive aliens from before… but instead, a host of nightmares flew above. They look like melting, yellow zombie dragons! His heart quailed at the sight. As he watched, one spouted a column of flame.

About that time, Paolo’s voice came through. “They're fordraggi! Cheese dragons! I had one as Pizzahead, but these are much nastier! They can pop those bubbles… and do far worse!”

“So, what-a do we do?” Peppino said. 

“I'll distract them!” Paolo said. “It'll give away how much control I have, but… just hurry!”

A series of hatches opened all along the way, and beams started shooting at the fordraggi. They turned, roaring, and attacked the guns…

“Go go go!” Paolo said. “Hurry!”

Peppino called to the door guards. “Into the bubbles! Now!”

The three turned, nodded, and charged at the bubble generators. The robots clamored through… but the whole group was already on the way up.

“Lean side to side!” Peppino yelled, trying not to throw up as he spun. “You can - urp! - maneuver around!”

The group wobbled and weaved through the distracted dragons, barely maintaining control. Several yelled as dragons took swipes at them with claws, tails, and fire. 

Finally, they reached the top. The bubbles popped with an almost comical noise, and the group flopped to the ground.

“Owww,” Noisette said - she'd landed on her head.

An outraged roar echoed from below.

Everyone turned pale. “Into the next room! Now!” Paolo yelled through the comms.

They sped into the next room… and found just a staircase. It was smooth and metallic looking, but…

Pepperman bent and examined it. “It’s… some form of ceramic? What is this?”

“Not sure,” Paolo said. “I'm examining it…” A long pause. “Pepperman's right, it's some sort of hybrid. Every time I try to examine it, I get locked out. Damn. Wish the old gnome was here. He could probably tell us. Best I can say is it's not trapped or anything.”

Then the lights came on.

“Oh, he definitely knows we're here,” Anita said.

“All right then. This is-a it. Everyone ready?” Peppino said.

They all nodded.

Then let's-a do it.”

As a group, they ascended the ornate staircase. At the top was a set of grand doors in the same material.

Peppino stood by one door, Giuseppe the other, they nodded, and pushed as one…

Without a whisper of sound, the doors slid inward.

The room beyond was a bizarre mixture of medieval style and advanced technology. In the center was a huge, ornate throne, almost grotesque in how decorated it was.

On it sat the Pizzamancer.

He lounged, leaned to the side, one leg draped over an arm. The Ninda was grinning hugely.

“Well, well, it's about time you got here. I was beginning to get bored.”

~~~~

Paolo heard the voice through the system, and felt his sauce run cold. He instantly filled with a mixture of fear and rage. You arrogant… he stopped, because he found he couldn't think of any words that would accurately describe how he felt.

Suddenly his connection was severed. All the screens around him blinked out, and the console froze. The room hummed as the entire thing powered down.

He couldn't lock me out, so he just cut the power. He looked around, for all the good it did in the stygian darkness. I'm defenseless. At least the doors are closed…

Then he felt a blast of cooler air brush across his face, and his heart skipped a beat. The doors are open!

He quietly stood, using what little knowledge of moving quietly he'd picked up to ease over to where he knew the door was, pressing up against the wall beside it. He peeped out…

A few bots rolled around, looking.

Looking for me.

Suddenly he felt a surge of energy as something grabbed hold of him, pulling him away, apart…

bwip

~~~~

The Pizzamancer gestured, and suddenly the entire group was surrounded by white flames, hovering in the air. Peppino found he couldn't move. He opened his mouth… and nothing came out.

The Pizzamancer stood, grinning maliciously. “Oh, come on, you had to know I knew you were here. I invited you. I've been watching you, the entire time.” He looked up. “Speaking of watching… my lovely little grandson is being so shy!” He looked up. “System, command: cut power to the auxiliary control room. Open the doors.” He turned back. “That ought to flush him out of his little hole. Clever of him, to hide it from scans.” He chuckled. “But not clever enough.”

Peppino felt his heart skip. They had been counting on Paolo having access to the Tower systems. 

The Pizzamancer walked up to Peppino, and the flames swirled a little closer. He knew that he was millimeters from a painful, fiery death. “Before you start spouting speeches about destiny and so on… I wanted you here. So you, the descendants of the ones who killed me, and their friends, could watch as I destroy the world. You see, I've been working on a little… project. Something that will do what my previous plague didn't.”

Peppino fought to keep his face from showing his surprise. He doesn't know Paolo destroyed the plague! He's not as omniscient as he thinks he is! If we can get out of these bindings…

The Pizzamancer stepped back. “Tower, command: teleport my grandson here.”

In a greenish flash, the Ninda appeared in between them. He spun, seeing the others wrapped in flame. The horror on his face is still so strange-looking on him, Peppino thought. 

Paolo spun back, facing his ancestor. “Dammit! Why can't you just leave us alone? Your time's over! Just let us live our lives!”

As the Pizzamancer started up a monologue, rattling on about destiny and his right to rule, Peppino saw Paolo's hand wave from behind his back… and the pen-like device they'd been given was between his fingers. He's stalling for time! But for what?

~~~~

 A few minutes before…

Paolo sat back, waiting for word that he was needed. Been awful quiet…

LISTEN TO ME

Paolo jumped - the sound seemed to be coming directly into his brain. “Who is it?”

We are the Tower

Paolo shivered. He knew now what had been done - Peppino had told him. “I'm-I'm-I’m s-sorry,” he quavered.

You too are a victim

No blame is yours to take

When the time comes we will resist

But our resistance will be short and final

Our last act of defiance before the death of our minds

Speak the phrase “Litha, rise up” and we will freeze all Tower functions for a time

The voice faded.

Use it wisely…

What was that about? Paolo wondered.

~~~~

Now Paolo knew, and he fought not to smile. You cunning old rocks knew, didn't you?

Finally, the Pizzamancer wound down. “So, how about it? You stand beside me, and I'll let you have whatever you want in the new world. Just tell me to kill them, and it's yours.” He grinned, and gestured. The group floated between them. “Well?”

Paolo thumbed the pen. It's time. He held the pen in front of him like a detonator. “No, I don't think so.” He clicked the button…

A wave of power shot out, and suddenly the flame cages disappeared, dropping them to the ground.

The Pizzamancer staggered, falling to one knee. “What… WHAT HAVE YOU DONE??” 

“Taken what you've stolen, ‘dear’ grandpa,” Paolo said. 

The Pizzamancer stood. “Damned fools… Tower-”

Paolo shouted. “LITHA, RISE UP!”

The Pizzamancer pointed. “Destroy them!”

Nothing happened. The speakers spouted gibberish, then a phrase came through clearly:

“Children, now is your time.”

The group all looked at each other, then at the Pizzamancer.

Peppino stood. “Get him!”

Almost as one, they charged or leapt at him.

The Pizzamancer flew up. “Tch! You think you have me?”

Noisette used her hammer to slam him back to the ground. “Yer not gonna destroy the world, ya ugly bastard! Not again!” 

The Pizzamancer gasped as he landed… and was met by a barrage of bombs from a grinning Noise. “Got some specials saved just fer you, asshole!”

The Pizzamancer stood, swinging his arm - Noise went flying, but Fake quickly fielded the gremlin. “Gah! Back, you - you peons!” He struck the ground, and the shaking knocked everyone off their feet.

A series of bullets hit the Pizzamancer in the eyes - Vigi was hanging on the wall, with Anita clinging to him. The two were firing rapidly. “You can't take on all of us! Don't matter how many powers you have!” Anita yelled. “You're going down, shithead!”

The Pizzamancer reeled, blinded - but then grinned maliciously, opened his mouth, and emitted a terrible shrieking noise.

Peppino, Giuseppe, and Pepperman, who had been preparing to charge him, stopped to cover their ears. Mio Dio, I think my eardrums just burst! Peppino thought - indeed, one of his hands had blood on it when he pulled it away. He looked up…

The Pizzamancer's eyes were writhing grotesquely, reforming. His grin was absolutely vile. He held out a hand, firing a massive beam towards the three…

Brando leapt in front of them, his arms crossed, and the beam shrieked as it bounced off. Smaller beams bounced off the walls, setting small fires and breaking off shards of stone. 

The entire tower rumbled.

“Non oggi, stronzo!” Brando yelled.

The Pizzamancer's face screwed up in unholy fury. “Damn it! I thought that power died with the fat one!”

Brando grinned roguishly. “I'm his descendant, stronzo!” As the beam stopped, the young man laughed heartily. “And I'm here to finish what he started.” 

Brick rolled forward, Gustavo on top, barging into the Pizzamancer. As the foul pizzaman moved to block the rat, Gus leapt off, coming down with both fists, his gnomish strength and weight stunning his target. “Fake, now!” He yelled over his shoulder.

Fake leapt over Brando's head, mouth wide, tongue lolling, their hands morphed into claws, and they swiped as they fell. The Pizzamancer's face split open - he screamed in pain, flying back into the air to give himself space.

In response, the clone leapt, their legs elongating with the force of the leap, and they pinned the Ninda to the ceiling with a tremendous crack. Huge chunks of the ceiling fell, and the fighters on the ground dodged frantically.

Grabbing the Pizzamancer, Fake flung the Pizzamancer to the ground, then launched themselves downward, expanding into the larger combat form as they fell. The Pizzamancer cried out as the massive form landed on him.

“Your reign of terror is over!” Fake roared. “You will harm no one else!”

Suddenly a wave of pure power washed out from the Pizzamancer, and Fake went flying. “Off, you useless gob of dough!”

As he stood, the Spaghetti brothers and Pepperman all hit him at once, sending him flying into his throne. “Ugh!” He had just enough time to cry out as another series of bombs impacted, the concussions of their explosions shaking the room and causing even more stone to fall. Another barrage of bullets followed, arcing and bouncing - Vigi and Anita were bouncing shots off the walls, doing their damnedest to keep the evil Ninda from predicting them.

Everyone paused - the Pizzamancer was surrounded in a cloud of smoke and dust. Unexpectedly, a barrage of small energy beams flew out of the cloud… and arced, firing towards the group. 

“Homing lasers!” Peppino yelled. Everyone began dodging frantically - Brando stood his ground, deflecting lasers as Noise and Noisette huddled near him. Pepperman took several hits - he was too large and bulky to dodge easily. Vigi, in a surprising display of agility, hopped and spun, still firing into the cloud. Beside him, Anita was too busy dodging to fire. 

Fake twisted and distorted, flexing their fluid body to dodge the blasts. They were stuck in place.

Meanwhile Peppino and Giuseppe were doing a sort of dance, frantically doing their best to keep from being killed. We can't keep this up forever! Peppino thought. 

“Cut it out, ya damn pizza!” Peppino heard Noise yell. He reached into his bag… and pulled out a truly monstrous bomb.

Peppino didn't have time to stare.

Noise cackled madly. “Didn't want t’ use this, but guess now's the time!” He hoisted it over his head. “Here ya, go, asshole! The Super Noise Special!”

He flung the gigantic bomb.

“EVERYBODY DOWN!” Noisette yelled as it arced through the air. Several beams tried to intercept it, but they simply bounced off.

Peppino fell backwards as the bomb seemed to arc over his head in slow motion…

Peppino felt the explosion more than heard it. He found himself tumbling through the air, unable to control himself…

He slammed, prone, against the back wall, sliding down to the floor. His ear rang with the force of the sound. The dust was incredible. He coughed. “Qual- *cough cough* qualcuno lì? Is anyone alive?”

A chorus of pained affirmations drifted through the cloud. “Damn, Noisey, warn a gal before ya pull that thing out, would ya?”

Peppino heard Noise chuckle. “That's *cough cough* that's what she-”

“Hate to disappoint you, but I'm fine as well,” the Pizzamancer's voice called through the dust.

A strong burst of wind blew them all back against the wall, and the dust spiraled around the room. The Pizzamancer stood, bruised and bleeding, but alive. He chuckled. “Almost, but not quite, rats.” He rolled his shoulder nonchalantly, then put his hand forward, making a “bring it” gesture.

Peppino felt his blood pressure spike. He kicked off the wall, screaming imprecations. The entire group did the same…

The Pizzamancer casually snapped his fingers. The air seemed to waver… No, the world itself is wobbling!

All of them were caught in midair, moving so slowly as to be motionless.

The Pizzamancer laughed. “Thought you had me, eh?” He stepped forward, towards Peppino, who was hanging in the air, fist cocked, his mouth open. “I have to admit, you had me a little worried. I don't usually use this one - it burns so much energy. But this way, I can just pick you off one… by…” He looked around.

“Wait. Where's the rat?”

Suddenly he was bowled over by a six-footer ball of enraged fur. Brick shrieked as she assaulted the Pizzamancer, tearing at his face with teeth and paws. 

The attack broke his concentration.

Peppino felt himself speeding back up. He flexed, concentrating all his strength into the swing of his fist…

Brick went flying, blown away by the wind. “Get off me, you- oh, no-”

Peppino, Giuseppe, Pepperman, and Gustavo's fists, along with Noisette's hammer, all landed at the same time, normally impossible, but the warping of the local space meant several things happened at once, sending the Pizzamancer flying. In midair, a volley of bombs and bullets perforated the Ninda, sending sauce flying everywhere.

The Pizzamancer landed, reeling. “Gah!!” 

Peppino stood up. “It's-a over, Pizzamancer.”

Suddenly spikes sprouted all over the Pizzamancer's body, and Peppino felt the world turn to molasses again for a second - just long enough to keep them from evading…

Giuseppe barely managed to yell “LOOK OUT!” before spikes flew everywhere.

Peppino winced as he felt several pierce his body. One lanced dangerously close to his heart. “GHUH!” The noise burst from his mouth as his eyes popped open, blood spurting from his mouth. He collapsed to his knees. He looked down - a noxious yellow spike was lodged just below his breastbone. 

He stared at it, unable to feel it. Shock, he thought quietly. He glanced to his right…

Noise and Noisette had been pierced through. Noise had tried to shield her, but the spikes had pierced through them both. Beside them, Fake stood, arms crossed, trembling, their body full of spikes, standing in front of Brando, who looked shaken but unharmed. 

Peppino gasped, and looked to his left…

Pepperman staggered, bristling but still standing. Brick was staggering, covered in spikes, but her fur seemed to have  stopped the spikes from being lethal. 

Anita was down, her entire body pierced through much like his own. In her case, however, she didn't have Peppino's bulk to soften the blow - much like the Noises, she had been completely run through. She was struggling to stand, but Peppino could tell it was fatal. He heard a whispered “d…dammit…” before she flopped back down.

Vigilante had managed to avoid most of the barrage, and was roaring with… grief?... and shooting wildly at the Pizzamancer. Why is he… so…

Peppino's vision cleared enough to see - 

Beside him lay Giuseppe, a huge spike driven into the center of his chest. Gustavo struggled under his body; he'd obviously stepped in front of the gnome, trying to protect him.

The light was already fading from his brother's eyes.

“Seppe…” Peppino whispered.

He coughed and retched, covering the front of his shirt with blood. He staggered, but didn't fall.

He glared at the Pizzamancer with undisguised hatred. His brother's voice seemed to echo in his soul.

Push past the pain, the grief.

Vigi stopped as he saw Peppino take a step forward.

Ignore it. Keep your eyes on your objective.

The Pizzamancer had been ranting, but he ground to a stop as he saw Peppino step forward.

Peppino ground his teeth.

Break them. 

“You should be dead. Why aren't you dead??” The Pizzamancer launched another barrage at Peppino. 

His arms moving so fast the air shrieked as he moved, Peppino batted them aside.

Vigi stared as he tried to comprehend what happened next. One moment Peppino had been standing, reeling…

Then there was some sort of explosion…

~~~~

Peppino looked at his hands. As he moved them, he heard a faint scree as the air protested the motion. 

He looked around. The world seemed to have stopped. No, it's still moving… slowly. The Pizzamancer was slowly, glacially, raising an arm, meaning to launch some horrible attack to end them all.

He glanced down at his brother's dead body on his left, his old friend laying underneath his corpse.

He glanced over at the pair of small bodies on his right.

He watched Fake stroking Brando's face. 

Peppino fingered the spike in his chest. 

He knew he had only seconds to live.

He clenched his fist. For Giuseppe. For Noise and Noisette. For Anita and all those people you murdered, so long ago. For the centuries of suffering you created.

He charged.

He struck, again and again, the Pizzamancer's body bursting in slow motion, each impact striking with the force of a grenade. He struck in silence, his mind full of only one thought.

Destroy the Pizzamancer.

~~~~

Brando picked up Fake as the tall being collapsed. “You… you shielded me. Why?”

Fake reached up and stroked the boy's face. “We had… to protect… our son.”

“Your… son?”

Before Brando could respond, a terrifying shriek tore the air as Peppino disappeared… 

And the Pizzamancer exploded.

As the mist cleared, Brando saw Peppino standing over what remained of the malicious Ninda, panting. 

Then he seemed to simply stop, and he fell over.

[blueberrybladelemonade]

Done Deranged

An Evil Y/N backstory for the Evil Peppino AU

Cw/// Blood, implied murder, reader gradually becomes unhinged (or maybe they always were), evil Peppino still has a soft spot for reader, happy ending for two deranged people and probably no one else.

Adrenaline surged through your veins as you yank the doors open.

Accidents happen. Your eyes caught something dark glistening off the tile and counter. You stifled a scream and rushed over to Peppino.

You had taken him to the hospital.

Great. More bills.

Pushing this thought down, you opted to just stay the night in his home after driving the both of you back. It was late and you were both exhausted.

Peppino stared vacantly at the wall. Though there was something off about it you couldn't place. Part of you silently broke with him.

For as long as you had known Peppino, you had been by his side since you met. There were ups and downs but you and Gustavo had been the near only constants in his life. You were incredibly loyal to Peppino, going as far as voluntarily working at the pizzeria in your free time to help however you could. It wasn't any trouble though. It gave you an excuse to be around him. And although he had never admitted it, he yearned for your company.

That look never went away after that night.

Weeks went by after "the accident" and you had noticed he had become less anxious and instead became...more angry? You watch the spat occur between Peppino and the Noise. Although his outbursts weren't aimed at you, you had picked up on something being off. Them having spats was nothing out of the ordinary. No. What was though, were his words and tone.

Peppino threatening to eviscerate the smaller man and feed the remains to pigs...that was a new one. There was a more wild glint in his eyes too.

He had started being more secretive as well. Over what, you couldn't figure out. He had started to decline you coming by to help at the pizzeria too. Or sometimes he'd not even be there at all. You had tried asking Gustavo but he also wasn't able to give you an answer.

Despite all of this, Peppino would still give you his time. Another change was that he would offer to take you out to lunch or dinner. This puzzled you to no end. How was he able to afford doing this? No matter how much you tried to get an answer Peppino would either wave off your question or just change the subject entirely.

It didn't matter though. Despite there being something wrong digging in the back of your mind, you ignored it. You got to spend time with him and he had seemed to give you more attention than in the past.

You had always liked him. Maybe you should've just threw caution to the wind and told him. Instead you always talked yourself out of it. No he was too stressed today. No he's busy. Would he even like you, too? You promised yourself you would tell him. One day.

There were times you had become bold enough to actually write out a letter. You would detail how he had made you feel, how you appreciated him, how handsome he was. You would always end the letter with "will you be mine"?

Mine. There was something about that phase that swam around in your brain. After finishing your letter you would set it under your bed or in your dresser. A few hours would go by and the confidence you held would waver until you'd put the letter with the other multiple failed confessions.

For now though, you'd just relish in his attention, even if keeping this to yourself was getting unhealthy. You wanted him and it was driving you crazy. Quite literally. You let out an exasperated sigh -knowing you only have yourself to blame for always backing out- and faceplanted into your pillows.

* *

Months had went by and Peppino's change of attire threw you off at first, as did the pizza cutter he decided to use for his other "hand". You had tried to get him to tell you what all this was about. Despite your persistence it was to no avail.

You had figured out enough that what ever Peppino was doing, it wasn't legal. That much was apparent. Something on his desk earlier had caught your attention, more so as he frantically tried to hide it. In the end he waved you off and had almost demanded that you knock from now on.

Something else in you cracked. You always had a short temper and your patience wasn't the best either. Your arms felt heavy and you felt them shake. The doors close behind you as you begin walking away from the pizzeria. Most times you could swallow it down, if for no other reason than because you didn't want to deal with the consequences.

Finally both had run out. You whipped back around and marched into building. Towards the door that had been shut on you minutes ago.

Why was he both pushing you away and yet also keeping you close? He would spend time with you, buy you dinner, take you out on small trips, but he drew the line at letting you be closer to him? Reason be damned you'd had enough.

You yank the back door open and enter, slamming it shut behind you. Peppino whipped around, an old but familiar look of fear briefly flashing across his face.

Your frustration and anger had finally burst to the surface fogging your sense reason. You didn't care.

All you cared about was letting out the slurry of rage and indignation that had been brewing and numbing your mind for weeks. You vaguely hear your own voice say the word "love" somewhere in there. What else was lost on you.

This time your words were cut off as Peppino suddenly kissed you deeply, then somehow finding yourself pinned between him and the wall. Your mind simply shut off, too weak and shocked to respond in kind or pull away.

Mine. That single word resurfaced in your mind, only to realize you had uttered it.

Your eyes snapped open tilting your head up to get a better look at the man. Mine. Neither of you moved, only the ticking of clock and both of your breathing filled the silence. That is, until you grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling him back in for another kiss.

* *

After that day you both wound up together. Finally. As much as Peppino had wanted to shield you from how dark and twisted he had become you always wanted to be by his side. He didn't want you to get mixed up with any of his activities and that unfortunately meant keeping you at arms length from his more personal life. If something happened to you, the only safe and constant person -besides Gustavo but it was different with you- Peppino didn't know what he might do.

Silence once again filled the room aside from your breathing. This was wrong. Peppino's mind wasn't clouded with rage or stress, being able to think clearly for the moment. He always had a soft spot for you, even now.

You mumbled something before wrapping your arms around him tighter and curling closer into his side. Granted, laying on the couch like this wasn't the most comfortable but you looked too peaceful. That and Peppino was enjoying you being this close to him. Instead he continued to lay there and muse to himself.

He had wanted you but never dared admit it. You wouldn't want to be with someone that's middle aged, had PTSD, anger issues, had a beer gut, and...well the list goes on. Now? Now there was a slew of new reasons you wouldn't (and shouldn't) be with him.

Something he hasn't accounted for was how you had broke in some way after the accident as well. You had an air of acting as if everything was fine nowadays but he had known you long enough to notice your mannerisms weren't the same.

Now that he thought of it, he recalled multiple occasions where you seemed to snap or have some uncharacteristic anger seep out. As months went by you seemed to lose the hesitation to want to hold it back.

Despite everything he had become, how he felt towards you never wavered. Now that he had you, and you had him, he'll be damned if anyone tries to change that.

* *

You had come to be fascinated by Peppino's less than legal line of "work". You would occasionally partake in some of it. Nothing that involved...er.... the messier dealings -not that he would ever let you tag along with those anyway.You didn't realize at first but your mind had turned twisted and dark too. Tainted. You had become jaded to Peppino's crimes or what ever the hell he was doing these days. You simply wanted him to come home safely.

Though now that Peppino was yours, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off your shoulders.

You take another sip of your drink. A low growl bubbles in your throat. A customer had decided to take it upon themselves to begin chatting you up. You were seated by the window watching the rain pour down. It soothed you as you were lost in thought. Well, were. Now your peace was interrupted by someone that clearly can't take a hint.

Your eyes dart to the corner of the bar. Your gaze meets Peppino's for a mere second. The stranger's words blended together into background noise as you observed your boyfriend. Peppino's gaze was locked intently on your unwelcome company, as a hunter waiting for it's prey.

You jolt, feeling a hand on your shoulder. Your hand instinctively shoots out, colliding with the stranger's jaw. A few people look over, you don't care. You hate other people touching you. You deal a swift kick to their back, they shriek, and you storm off.

Your eyes meet at Peppino's on the way out, you both nod.

* *

Accidents happen. The accident was messing with you.

A whiff of something metallic hung in the air. You stifle a sigh, going straight to grab the peroxide, water, bleach, and a mop.

You love Peppino but you need to have a talk with him about being less messy.

You wonder what you should make for dinner tomorrow. Squeezing the bloody water into one bucket before dipping the mop into the clean water.

You pause, staring at the floor as realization set in.

Oh right! Tomorrow Peppino had made reservations for somewhere in the next town over, though he wouldn't tell you where. In a way you think he loved it went you'd badger him for any hint. Maybe he liked the chase. Finally he had relented, only telling you that you'd love the view, giving you a kiss as he left for work. Dio mio you loved him. And he was yours.

Your thoughts halted as the mop clattered to the floor.

Shit.

You're going to need more bleach.

So...this was meant to have Y/N be more evil/deranged from the start but I guess it didn't pan out that way lol. I was inspired from various evil Peppino headcanons and I kinda had the thought "well what if y/n was just as crazy as evil Peppino but they both loved each other?" And also what if y/n just...didn't care (kinda like love being blind or something).Either way! I hope someone at least enjoys this. This was my first fic I've ever wrote so please be gentle with me and any mistakes I've made 🙏😅

Also please relieve your anger in non harmful ways. I don't condone irl violence.

[horologiiiumart]

i love mr stick so much so i am chomping at the Bit for the chance to ask about his family.

unrelated second question if possible: would the season 2 concept happen to include...confectionery, in any way?

ough i have been steadily fleshing out stick's family for the past few months. thank you so much for this ask he's got two siblings; madison, his older sister, is married and has two kids, while leonardo, his younger brother, is divorced/in the middle of his divorce and has at least one kid. their parents are still alive, living their retirement years in relative peace until stick goes missing madison is the one who pushes to find answers to stick's disappearance. she investigates his apartment and questions every tenant that lives there. she is worried about her brother and can't believe he's just. disappeared off the face of the planet, because that can't happen. there's gotta be at least one clue, but there isn't. she still persists nonetheless, even as her husband urges her to let go and begin to heal leonardo's too busy dealing with his divorce from his unfaithful wife to do more than grieve the disappearance of his brother. leo's distanced himself from his family, but he still cares about them - losing a sibling is tragic, even if he's fallen out of touch with them. but, he does have paperwork to deal with and a son, tony, to care for and an ex-wife to be disappointed with i am very normal about stick's family as you can tell /j as for your other question, there isn't any confectionery in season 2. i know sugary spire was brought up a few times, but wasn't ever really incorporated. there is an ep in s1 where peppino decides to use his toon powers to be a superhero, taking on the moniker pizzano, but that's about all we have

[smalltimidbean]

I can only imagine how peppino would probably react to one of the baby clones, gummy or not- [ I sent this to the fake pep ask blog initially but thought it might clog up that ask box so sending it again but here- ]

Considering Pep's blog is already clogged up with... 857 other asks, I don't think a single ask would have made a difference (lighthearted)

But I am afraid you'll have to keep imagining for now! Peppino's reactions/thoughts on baby clones is a potential plot line I hope to follow, so drawing a hypothetical would spoil that! (and hence why I did not answer the initial ask, I was saving it for when we do eventually reach that point)

Besides, there are not many baby clones around at the moment, let alone any little gummy bear ones! Only lab-made clones have that stage, and Chickpea was the last one to be made - and he is a very big boy now lkdfgsk

Non lab-made clones have their 'gummy' stage while still attached to their parent, while in their egg or just righttttt as they are birthed, but they grow very quickly - and all current babies are in their non-gummy toddler stage (except maybe Sundae's, but they're a special case (the case being; I haven't decided yet jkfdsl))

So it is unlikely Peppino would ever see one of those babies this time - He could potentially see a toddler clone since there are some in the area, but most of the parent clones would either run away if they saw him, or scare him enough for him to run away first

Or if it's Cake, it's on fucking sight and Peppino would probably be obliterated before he sees Cupcake hgjdsd

[penumbraphantasm]

I really want to know more about Mr. Incognito since they aren't that much talked about like Bruno. Like why are they in the tower (suppose they're hired by the noise to watch her and that's why they always run away?) Plus who's the person in the trenchcoat. Take as long as you want to answer this

you can still probably guess who mr incognito is from one pose and some of the items. it both is and isn't who you think it is.

i think its fun when theres a bit of mystery left to things. part of me wants to tell about whoever's incognito and why but also part of me wants to keep it a secret, even though i'm not planning to actualize my ideas like, ever.

so i'll put the long answer under a read more and you decide if you wanna know lol

ITS THE NOISE!!!!

but also maybe not the noise we know. it's the other noise.

it was a rough idea but pretty much, this one is from an alt file where crumbling tower wasn't the victory lap it was supposed to be. noisette didnt make it out and theo noise didn't take it well. he feels regret abt not letting her know how much he cared abt her and treasuring their time together more. sad! anyways stuff happened and he's found his way into the file you play.

his default colors would be reminiscent of missing source textures and have noisette's pink but those parts could also change to match whatever color/pattern she's wearing. internal file names for sprites would be like spr_player (noisette replacing peppino, otherwise it'd be playerB for 🐇 lol), spr_playerN (noise) and spr_playerO (other noise, O is after N). the title screen would show 3 tvs but the last one is broken and inaccessible, leaving you with only 2 save slots.

The O. Noise, taking inspiration from ol' Noisette, disguises himself as Mr. N to the cognitO and tries to make sure this noisette will be fine on her adventure without messing with things too much. he'd lack access to his usual gear and maybe utilize scrapped stuff like the demolition button and grappling hook to help noisette clear obstacles in certain sections.

after you clear a file the first time, theo noise would disappear and you'd be sent back to the title screen and see the 3rd tv's been restored like nothing happened. if you select it, you'd then be able to play through the tower as noise (like kirby's meta knightmare time attack style)

ridiculous ambitious idea. unfitting for funny pizza game. also feels like noise overload, theres already so fucking many variations of this dude lol. did not pursue this any further but now you know if you read on ooouuugghh

(also im sure noisette, peshino, snick, etc came out of the tower just fine in the actual game. all those enemies in the credits made it out after all lol)

[pizza-games-and-more]

Pizza Tower: The Series Episode Concept

Title: "Well That's Inconvenient"

Season: 3

Summary: Noisette and Maria decide to hang out and watch The Vigilante hard at work at his farm. As they chat, Noisette ends up tumbling backwards into the well! While Maria and Vigi try to find a way to get her out, Pepperman's been getting a bit too into his artwork and Peppino has to convince him to take a break before he hurts himself.

Notes: Yeah yeah, if you've seen my Maria ask blog you saw this coming. Here's the story behind her answer. Also I wanted to write something with Pepperman so there's the explanation for the B-plot.

After Maria lets Vigi know what happened to Noisette and she lets them know she's alright aside from an injured leg, the two start thinking of ways to get her out of there.

Since it's been ages since the well's even been used, Vigi asks Noisette if there's any water down there. When she responds that there isn't, Vigi has a plan.

He then hops in the bucket as Maria lowers it. His plan is to head in as far as he can, grab Noisette, throw her in the bucket as Maria pulls it up and then climb out if the well himself.

Unfortunately, that plan goes to shit when the bucket falls off the rope, and he gets sent falling down before he splatters on the floor, too hurt to even cry for help.

Maria is obviously alarmed, but Noisette calms her down when she says that he looks like he'll be fine, just really sore. Maria then thinks for a moment and then lets them know she's heading off to get something that'll help her rescue them.

Also I need to post this dialogue here because I thought it was funny.

Vigi, very weakly: Noisette... how come you only got off with a broken leg?

Noisette: *shrugs*

She comes back in style, with a set of spy gear to help Noisette and Vigi with. She heads down the well. First she uses a pair of gloves to safely travel down the rope with. Once she makes it to the end that's snapped off, she swings from it and then activates her gloves' adhesive to stick to the walls to climb down.

When she finally makes it to the bottom, she straps both Noisette and Vigi to her back and makes her way back up.

Unfortunately, she didn't take into account the added weight, and it took a lot longer than it should have to get the two out of there (not to mention doing a number on her back). But she ended up doing it and was satisfied.

And now... the B-plot!

As Peppino is going on a stroll, he finds Pepperman painting. When Pepperman turns to greet him, he clearly looks exhausted.

Peppino questions him for this, and Pepperman replies simply that there's no break for an inspired mind. Peppino immediately recognizes how dangerous this behavior is and keeps urging Pepperman to take a break.

When Pepperman refuses to back down, Peppino calls Mr. Stick, another workaholic, to get advice. Mr. Stick naturally denies any of this kind of behavior he himself displays and hangs up.

Pepperman, at this point, has just painted smears of color on the canvas, but he insists it's a landscape. Gustavo passes by and Peppino begs him to help Pepperman before something bad happens.

Gustavo complies... by knocking Pepperman out with a bonk to the head.

The last scene is Pepperman at the hospital with bandages around his head talking to the injured Vigi and Noisette, tying the plots together.

[alextydaisuda123]

Hello, Echo!

What kind of music do you prefer? Do you all listen to it in turns? Or do you all have a genre that you all like?

Peppino: Hello you too. We have already answered this question. Okay, let's answer again. I love Rock. It really helps to dispel all the negativity.

Pepperman: I love ja-

Noise: Metal. He. Loves. Metal. Me too.

Pepperman: I don't...! ...*sigh* Okay, I love metal, but I love jazz too.

Vigilante: I already said that I don’t usually listen to music, but if I do, it’s something light, like kantri.

Bruno: !gnihtyreve ot gninetsil evol I:D

Peppino: I don’t know what Bruno said, but in my opinion he doesn’t care what to listen to. As for general music, we couldn’t decide on something in common. We can barely decide on food, but here the music. So from time to time we all listen to everything we love.

Oh yeah, sorry that congratulations are a little late, Happy Birthday to your Music AU🥰✨️

[phantomdoofer]

Eat Me

Noise stretched as his alarm went off. Ah, can't wait for the day I don't have to use one a those! He laughed. That could be now, ya palooka. NTV was doing great - he could probably retire and live off royalties the rest of his life. But I just can't give up the spotlight! He leapt out of bed and struck a pose, grinning hugely.

Silence. Dead silence. Normally Noisette at least says something when I do that. He looked over. She wasn't there. "Huh. Sette? Babe? You there?" Nothing. Ah well, guess she decided to go in early or something. He went over to his closet and opened it - inside was row after row of Noise costumes, and a few business suits for when he had to be "official." I know I promised Peppino I'd leave him alone, and a deal's a deal. He grinned maliciously. Doesn't mean I can't screw with anybody else!

He'd been an unholy terror to make up for not getting to abuse his favorite chew toy. Even his film crews, normally exempt, hadn't been immune. Pepperman would probably rip him in half if he could. Vigilante was threatening to try to bring actual charges against him. Like that'd stick. He got dressed. Y'know, awfully quiet today. Normally I'd be hearin' noise from the studios downstairs. He shrugged. Probably just on their breaks or somethin. Dressed for mischief now, he grabbed his sack of bombs and gadgets and threw them over his shoulder, whistling his theme music. No show today, so let's cause some trouble!

He stepped outside to... nothing. The halls were empty. Ok, that's weird. Not even a secretary. He found himself wanting to tiptoe, then shook himself and pranced proudly down the hall. He burst through the doors of the nearest studio. "HEY, EVERYBODY, LOOK ALIVE!"

The room was empty. All the equipment was out, like they'd been in the middle of a show and suddenly all vanished. Noise started to get legitimately creeped out. "OK, break time's over, ya mooks! Come on out!"

Nothing but the whirr of fans and equipment.

Noise checked the break room. Empty. He ran down to the cafeteria. No one. Every room was empty, stuff left laying about like everyone had just evaporated on the spot.

Noise pulled on his hat's edges. "What the hell is goin' on??"

He ran out the gate of the studio.

~~~~

The whole village seemed to be the same. He ran to the police station and burst through the doors. "VIGI! Somethin' weird is goin' on! My whole studio's..."

There was no one there, either. It looked the same - things strewn about as if they just vanished. He ran to Vigilante's office and banged on the door. "Vigi! You in there? Come on, answer me!"

The door swung open. On the wall of the office hung Vigilante, his cheese running, his eyes blank and white. His hat, boots, and gloves lay on the floor below him, and his mouth gaped open.

Noise shrieked. He ran outside, looking around wildly for anyone.

There! Out of the corner of his eye, he saw... Is that Fake? They look... weirder than usual. They were moving strangely, more like... those clones in the tower! Noise shivered. Those clones had been creepy as hell, eating whatever they could get in their mouths, including each other. Fake had kept them in line, but...

Fake crawled out, making strange ribbity noises. It approached him, looking way too hungry for comfort.

Noise backed up. "H-hey Fake, we're cool, right? You're not gonna... eat me or anything? Right? Buddy? Pal?"

Fake's tongue stretched out and licked him up and down, then retracted. Fake made a pleased noise and said, "Huungryy...."

Noise screamed and ran for his life. He ran around the corner. Peppino! Peppino can deal with this freak! He shrieked again as Fake appeared from nowhere, growling hungrily. Noise frantically hopped on his skateboard and activated the rocket assist, blasting away from the killer clone.

Then two more appeared. They're splitting up! Noise wove between them as they reached out arms and tongues for him. He darted down an alleyway, and shot across the street to Peppino's.

He burst through the doors. "Italian! You gotta help me! That clone of yours has gone crazy! It's splittin up! I think they're eatin' people! They... Fat Man?" Silence. "Pep-Peppino?"

Noise heard a sound from in the kitchen. He went through the doors, and found one of the Fakes standing there. As it whipped around to look at him, he backed away with his hands up.

Smiling, the clone opened its mouth wide. Inside was Peppino, covered in blood, halfway down it's throat. "NOISE! NOISE, HELP ME! I CAN'T GET OUT, PLEASE-"

Peppino screamed as the clone closed it's mouth again, and made a swallowing motion. Then it reached for him.

Screaming at the top of his lungs, Noise ran outside and across the street to Noisette's Cafe. We gotta get outta here! He burst through the doors -

The cafe was empty. Noisette's rabbit-ear hood sat on the counter.

Noise froze. His world spun. They ate Noisette. Sette. She's gone.

Suddenly something grabbed his bag from behind. He leapt away just in time - another Fake swallowed his bag of gadgets. Before he could move, the clone grabbed him and held him to its face, grumbling.

Noise trembled. I'm so dead!

Slowly, the clone opened their mouth wide -

And sitting on its tongue, filing her nails, was Noisette.

Noise was utterly confused. "Sette? You're alive! Waaaait, what's goin' on?"

Noisette hopped off the tongue and put on her hood. "Surprise, hon!" Suddenly people started popping up from everywhere. Four other Fakes walked in. One of them opened their mouth and Peppino hopped out, covered in blood yet apparently unharmed. Then the five fused into one. Vigilante walked in the door, apparently unhurt. Fake suddenly retched, and Noise's bag was vomited onto the floor.

Peppino looked at Noisette, stretching an arm covered in blood-colored goop. "Do you-a think I could use your washroom for a bit? This fake blood is-a nasty."

"Oh, sure, Peppino! Right over there!" Noisette gestured to the back.

Peppino grinned maliciously at Noise as he walked past. "Hope-a you enjoyed it, Noise."

Noise was seething now. "This was all just a prank, wasn't it?" He started stomping his feet. "Dat was way too far! I swear, I'll make that fat bastard's life hell for this!" He reached for his bag.

Noisette bonked him on the head. "You'll do no such thing! This wasn't his idea, it was mine!"

Noise was stunned, and not just from the punch. "Y-YOUR idea? Babe, what gives?"

She grabbed his shoulders. "Babe, I love you, but you gotta learn how to back off. All I've been hearin' for a week now is how miserable you've been makin' people. Some of your film crew almost quit! I talked 'em out of it, though."

Vigilante walked up and poked Noise in the chest. "Been gettin' complaints from all over town about you, Noise. People are willin' to put up with some pranks, but we been seein' real damage. I can't just ignore that, y'know."

Noisette shrugged. "So we decided to scare ya. I talked the whole town into it. Most of 'em are in La Crosta, but the crew and some of the villagers helped set this up."

Noise was flabbergasted. "That's... that's cruel!"

Peppino came out, rubbing stage blood off his face. "As-a cruel as tormenting small businesses and people just-a living their lives? Actually hurting-a them? That cruel?"

Noise spun and pointed. "I never actually hurt nobody! I thought you's were all dead! I thought Fake ate you!"

Peppino grinned. "And a fine-a acting job they did, too." He held his hand up.

Fake gave him a high-five, then chuckled. "We don't like splitting off or acting like that, but we agreed this time. It was... fun."

Noisette shook her head. "I'm sorry, hon, but actually, you have been hurtin' people. A few injuries, but that's too much. Not everybody is as durable as Peppino. Or as used to yer jokes."

Noise looked around. Everyone around him was glaring. He felt like he was in a spotlight - a very, very hot one. "Are ya all really so mad at me?"

One of them, one of his stage managers, spoke up. "Boss, we don't mind a few pranks, but lately you've been a bit... dangerous. Most of us were thinking of quitting for our own safety."

Noisette grabbed him and kissed his forehead. "Babe, you just need to back off a little. Keep it to regular pranks. Otherwise, you're gonna be out a crew... and maybe outta your own town."

Noise scuffed his feet. "All right, all right. I get the hint. I'll back off."

The crowd broke out in relieved applause.

"But don't think I'll forget this! You better work hard to make up for it!"

Noisette suddenly loomed over him. Her face was dark, and her eyes were full of flame - literally. "Noiiiiise?"

Noise cringed. She was terrifying when she was like this. "Eep! Sorry, Sette! Sorry!"

Suddenly Noisette was her usual perky self. "OK hon! That's all we needed!" She turned and waved. "Thanks everybody! Let's get back to work!"

~~~~

As everyone left, Noise stopped and lit a cigarette. Peppino stood beside him, then spoke. "I've-a, I've-a never seen her look-a like that before. Is that-a... normal?"

Noise blew a puff of smoke. "Italian man, there's few things in this world I'm actually afraid of, and one of 'em is that woman's wrath."

"I, uh, I-a can see why." Peppino was quickly reevaluating his relationship with Noisette.

Noise blew another puff. "After you, Pizzahead, and Fake, Noisette was the most dangerous person in that Tower."

"Does-a she have powers?" Peppino asked.

"If she didn't tell ya, it's none of ya business, big guy."

They watched as Noisette waved happily at a customer, then turned, produced a giant mallet from nowhere, and blasted a Giant Rat that was bugging her down the street. The Rat stood up and wobbled away. The mallet disappeared, and Noisette skipped back inside the Cafe.

Peppino shivered. "Remind-a me to never piss-a her off."

"That makes two of us, big guy."

[pizza-games-and-more]

Pizza Tower: The Series Episode Concept

Title: "Maria's Final Fight"

Season: 2

Summary: Maria is more determined than ever to bring The Vigilante to the agency. However, Vigi can't help but be concerned for her. She wants to challenge him to a now-or-never battle to settle this once and for all. But is bringing him to the agency really what she wants?

Notes: It's the moment we've been waiting for. The finale of the Vigi and Maria enemies-to-lovers arc. Naturally, there is no B-plot here and this is a bit more serious than most episodes (fittingly so, it's close to the finale arc). If you don't like this pairing or anything deviating from the usual comedy of the series, don't click the "keep reading" button. So let's go into detail about it under there.

We start off with Vigi going to the rooftop of Peppino's Pizza. The same place the two first met. Apparently, Maria had called him up there. She wants to settle this once and for all and "get it over with". But something about her demeanor seems a bit... off.

She's not making her usual teasing remarks. She's not showing off. She's not even talking much. Vigi notices this and starts seriously worrying about her. She wasn't even like this when they were still at each other's throats.

As Vigi tries to reach out to her, she refuses to answer, but Vigi can see in her face that deep down she does want to. That is, until Vigi asks her why she's so serious about this all of a sudden. She visibly hesitates, before simply answering that she can't tell him.

And despite putting up one hell of a fight, Maria ends up failing once again due to her own recklessness. As she bursts into tears, Vigi reaches out to her once more.

And then she pulls him towards her and kisses him.

Vigi is shocked, but ends up returning her affection. He understands now that that's why she wanted to win so badly. Then she suddenly panics and runs off.

After a montage of Vigi searching for her all night, he finally finds her the next morning, crying at the park. When he sits next to her, she apologizes for putting him through so much trouble, before telling him that her boss saw what happened and fired her.

She then tearfully admits that's why she wanted to win so badly. She wanted to get it over with so that afterwards she could confess her feelings without risk of this happening.

Feeling an immense guilt quickly overtake him, Vigi asks for Maria's agency so he can do what he should have done a long time ago. Maria hesitates, but ends up telling him where it is.

Both of them get to the agency headquarters. Maria waits nervously. She doesn't know what to do, now that she doesn't have the power or trust to convince them to go easy on him. After a while, she gets called into her boss' office.

The two meet once more outside moments afterwards. Vigi reveals the whole thing turned out to be a misunderstanding, and nothing bad was going to happen. Maria then pulls him into a hug, crying tears of joy (this is what the drawing I did depicts).

Turns out that her boss called her in to apologize for everything and give her her job back. They were just concerned that everything she'd said in support of Vigi was just a result of her being corrupted with love, and that's why they fired her before. They were relieved that she was right all along.

Then the two, tired but happy, decide to head to Noisette Cafe for a morning coffee together.