#defunct coasters

[hyper-coasters]

A beautiful day bringing out some of the best of a beautiful coaster. I had no idea back in December that Scorpion would close only 9 months later. Any guesses, or ideas, or hopes for whats coming next?

[tacoma-narrows]

Currently 1am and feeling sad abt wanting to get back on some coasters I haven't ridden in a rlly long time but can't bc they're now defunct </3

Shown here are some of my defunct credits - High Speed Thrill Coaster at Knoebels, closed in 2008 [image credit] - Volcano: The Blast Coaster at Kings Dominion, closed in 2019 [my photo] - Vortex at Kings Island, closed in 2019 [my photo] - Thunder Road at Carowinds, closed in 2015 [image credit]coaster

[montygatorguy]

im actually so not normal about drachen fire. he deserved better i know he was rough and bad but that literally wasn’t ever his fault

[amusementarchive]

Hard Rock Park was a $250 million, highly-licensed theme park located in Myrtle Beach, SC that opened in 2007. Notable rides included the B&M looper Led Zeppelin: The Ride and Nights in White Satin, a Sally dark ride themed to the Moody Blues song of the same name. Due mostly to the Great Recession, the park was an abysmal failure and consequentially lost the Hard Rock name and music licenses. The park reopened in 2008 as Freestyle Music Park, which bombed even harder and proved to be massively unpopular among parkgoers. The park went entirely defunct in 2009 and was abandoned. The rides were sold off or destroyed.

The facade of Nights in White Satin. There is a video on YouTube that shows the entire ride and it's worth a watch. This ride was considered to be one of the greatest dark rides ever made. When the park was returned and lost the music licenses, the ride was changed to the Monstars of Rock, which is considered to be one of the worst dark rides ever made.

The impressive station for Led Zeppelin: the Ride. For five years, the massive structure stood standing but not operating along the roadside. The coaster was sold to a Vietnamese park in 2014 where it still operates to this day.

[thelegendofmrrager]

Ngl I forgor you could just read about theme park accidents... so guess what I'm doing now 😎

That was like, top ten past times as a kid once I found out wikipedia existed. The world is your oyster.

[secretmellowblog]

Why is there a roller coaster in Les Misérables?!

In the novel Les Misérables there is an actual canon scene where one of the main characters rides a roller coaster. I'm not joking. there's a scene in where Fantine-- the tragic dead mother from Victor Hugo's Les Miserables-- zips down one of the world's first roller coasters. And okay, I have some questions.

How did a roller coaster end up in Paris in 1817, a century before the time we're usually told that roller coasters were "invented"?

What was this defunct roller coaster even like?? How did it work???

Why did this ride make a cameo in Les Mis? What does it mean??? Victor Hugo, why? There was only one way a person could find out information about this obscure long-forgotten defunct roller coaster: exhaustive research through scholarly articles, primary sources, 19th century newspapers, contemporary illustrations, and museum archives.

This video essay is “Les Mis Meets Defunctland.”

Originally created for the @barricadescon event, the essay explores the earliest origins of the Russian Mountains roller coasters, the fascinating history behind how they came to France, their many connections to the political turmoil of the time period, what they felt like to ride, why they were shut down, how they fell into obscurity, and why Victor Hugo included them in Les Mis-- as well their secret author-intended relevance to the overall themes of the novel.

[abraxo-official]

Companion rambles: could they operate a vehicle + other random assortment of headcannons

Curie:

Knows every single part of a car. Knows every driving safety rule. Do not let her near a vehicle. Her driving style is mad-max levels of fear. She will giggle and comment about how much fun she’s having, and how she wishes she did this sooner. Danger level: 9/10. You won’t die but you’ll never look at a corvega the same.

Cait:

In trying to hotwire it, will either blow it up or will turn it on for just enough time that the alarm goes off. If she did find a functioning one, it would probably end up in a ditch. Danger level: 7/10

Deacon:

He can drive, but in the same way that a elderly person would: you don’t know if he should be behind the wheel, but goddamn it if he’s not going to Tokyo drift into the last parking spot in front of the super-duper mart. Danger level: 5/10

Danse:

Why concern himself with pre-war ruins that aren’t even technologically interesting? He *technically* can fly vertibirds, but also…heights get to him sometimes. If he did have a car, he would dive super safe and basically act like a midwestern dad. Do NOT try and merge without signaling in front of him. Danger level: 2/10

Mac:

Really good at taking cars apart. Only knows about driving from comics. TBH I think he would be the type to only learn how to ride a bike at 10+ years old. He can’t even start the car. Danger level: 0/10

Hancock:

Would try to drive but would get either lost or just confused after about a half hour. Would probably try to add a bunch of stuff on top, like a missile launcher or a turret. It would be so decked out that it wouldn’t even be functional anymore. Would take joy in doing demolition derbies with Mac. Danger level: 3/10

Piper:

She knows how a car works, but like, only from reading 4 pages of a really old manual when she was board. She claims to defunct know how they work, but has no idea what to do when she lifts the hood. Either causes an explosion or ends up breaking at least one part. Never gets it moving. 6/10

Gage:

He can probably figure it out after about a day or two of trying to compare it to a coaster. When he does start it, I think he would actually hate driving. He’s the sole one in control, with his foot on the gas the whole time, and there is no way in hell he is ready for that. Would probably make up some excuse about how raiders don’t need to use cars to make their points. 2/10

Preston:

The safest driver in the world at first, but then he starts going after bigger things. Trucks would help with transporting supplies to settlements, he argues. If we had a garrison of tanks, imagine how many people we could protect, etc. He’s not wrong, and not bad at driving, but he really needs to stop adopting every bubble-top he comes across. 3/10

Nick:

Can drive. Will drive. Then will have to confront the reality of his muscle memory being from a person he never really was. He’ll still take a spin now and then, especially if going long distances, but he prefers to walk. It’s more….him. 1/10

Longfellow:

Cars, no. Boats? Hell yeah. He’s taught just about every sailor far harbor has. But try to get him to drive on land and he will straight out refuse. It’s not who he is. 0/10

Strong:

No. Car for throwing. Inside small, only for weak human. No need metal shell to go fast. 0/10

Dogmeat:

Sticks his head out the window. Can honk the horn. 0/10

Codsworth:

Listen, somewhere in his programming is knowing how to drive a car. Also how to assemble one from 4 cans and a high powered magnet. Can drive it either completely normal and safe or in a way that would make vin diesel scared. 7/10

X6:

Danger level: 10/10. He would succeed in the way Hancock could not. He turns it into a weapon. Stuff of nightmares. Avoid at all costs.

[dapper-nahrwhale]

GUESS WHO HAS POLLS NOW >:))))) and just remembered this idea! And I believe this would be a more fun poll than a con artist bracket. Simply because that would be stressful and this would not be.

if I had polls I would ABSOLUTELY do a most cringe fail defunct rollercoasters bracket. You know I would. I want to but. :( I'm never getting polls at this fucking point. I cant even update my app :(((

[replicantgrl]

Pictures (propaganda) under the cut:

Nemesis Reborn

Gatekeeper

Iron Gwazi

Saw: The Ride

Expedition Everest

Griffon

Dueling Dragons (RIP)

Eejanaika

The Smiler

[retrowave-racer]

Woooo more coaster critters! Still have a backlog to post and some suggestions on instagram for more designs, but needed a bit of a break from them! I hope to start up again soon, I also plan to do some clean digital art of some of these soon! This line up of coaster critters are based off of…

Sonic Spinball/Spinball Whizzer at Alton Towers

Thunderlooper (Defunct) Alton Towers

Hex Alton Towers (technically not a coaster but a flat ride friend!)

Voltron Nevera Europa Park

F.L.Y Phantasialand

Fireworks, the Gardens, and Skyride at Towers (again not coasters but fight me!)

And last two designs are both Colossus at Thorpe Park

[hyper-coasters]

Trainless Saturday.... Glad to see it was still up during my visit. Truly going to miss this ride. :(

[tacoma-narrows]

Thinking abt Daidarasaurus that used to be at Expoland in Japan. Apparently it was an absolutely ridiculous 7,677.2 ft (2340 m) long, making it the second longest non-alpine coaster ever built behind Steel Dragon 2000, and closed with the park in 2007. Also thinking abt how cool Daidarasaurus would be as a character name

[dykecubes]

was watching a video essay on a defunct roller coaster and i thought the song playing was really familiar BITCH IT WAS JORT STORM

[sammy-smiles-531]

Starting on the Defunct Alton Towers coasters.

It’s the Corkscrew lad. He’s a bit unhinged lol

[unholyverse]

waterparks // alternative press issue #341

(full article text under cut)

WATERPARKS

THESE POP-PUNK UPSTARTS HAVE CATCHY SONGS, AN ENDORSEMENT FROM THE MADDENS AND AN UNIRONIC LOVE FOR HAIR DYE AND FUNKY-COLORED JELL-O. THEY ALSO HAVE A LOT TO PROVE-AND THEY'RE READY TO GET TO WORK.

STORY: EVAN LUCY x PHOTOS: JONATHAN WEINER

Awsten Knight knows what you're thinking: This time last year, his band, Waterparks, were veritable nobodies. You'd probably not heard their two EPs (2012's Airplane Conversations and 2014's Black Light), and the band's SEO was likely so suspect, there's no way a Google search would place the Houston-based trio above their hometown Wet 'n' Wild.

What a difference a trip around the sun. makes. Since late last year, the group scored a record deal with Equal Vision, picked up Good Charlotte's Benji and Joel Madden as their managers, performed at the 2016 APMAS and even graced the cover of AP's Warped Tour issue-all before releasing their first album. Along the way, they've cultivated a passionate (and ever-growing) fanbase, thanks to an irreverent sense of humor, insatiable work ethic and saccharine-sweet pop-rock sound. But as their star has grown, so have the rumors and confusion about just how they ended up on a collision course with success.

"I saw somebody online say, 'Isn't this that industry-plant band? Like we were made by a label or something." Knight remarks from Los Angeles, where he and his bandmates are putting the finishing touches on bonus tracks for their debut full-length, Double Dare, and filming a video for the album's first single, "Stupid For You." "People are always like, "Where'd this band come from? This band blew up overnight! That's really not the case."

Indeed, it's been a grind for Waterparks, who formed back in 2011 and, after years of hustle and hard work, got signed last year after a demo serendipitously ended up in Equal Vision's online submission box. Even today, as Waterparks—Knight, guitarist/vocalist Geoff Wigington and drummer Otto Wood-seem to have an indefinite amount of momentum and a limitless future, there's always some humbling experience to remind them the big time is still a few steps away. Look no further than their method of transportation for this summer's Warped Tour: a modified Sprinter van handily equipped with sleeping quarters- but no air conditioning.

"The van didn't have A/C until we got to the North, Knight remembers. "We did Texas and Florida, the whole South, with no A/C. People thought we were in a bus. It'd be like, 'Oh yeah, when you guys go back to your bus…" He laughs. "How can you be egotistical when you're sitting there in a sweaty van going, 'Fucking kill me?'"

Lifestyles of the rich and famous it isn't, but that's fine with Waterparks. They're used to surprising people, whether it's with their origin story or their music. A testament to both their artistic vision and desire not to be pigeonholed as just another pop-punk band, Double Dare sounds like an album made by three men raised in iPod shuffle culture. The album opener "Hawaii (Stay Awake)" skews toward more standard pop-punk fare (a sound that definitely provides a backbone for the 12 tracks that follow), but the band are quick to add bits of pop, electronica and (surprisingly) hip- hop to the melting pot, leaving Double Dare feeling instantly reminiscent, yet wildly unpredictable. There's the unabashed pop charm of "Take Her To The Moon," a DeLorean ride back to the scene's neon days that's awash in glassy synths; the biting "Little Violence," which takes aim at "fake-ass band guys," along with the now-defunct site AbsolutePunk; "Stupid For You," a roller coaster of vocal runs mixed with razor-sharp hooks; and the jittery "Dizzy," which combines mile-a-minute rapped verses with a towering half-time chorus.

Knight, a textbook over-writer, wrote and demoed more than 40 songs for the album, which the group whittled down to the 17 or so they actually tracked in Los Angeles with producers Courtney Ballard and Benji Madden. What makes Double Dare such an engaging listen is not just the songwriting, but the way Waterparks dress it up. Throughout the album, Knight's voice serves almost as a third guitar, cutting in and out and swirling around the mix to give things added depth and a secret sonic weapon their peers lack.

"Listen to Kesha," Knight implores. "People have heard a lead guitar a billion times-no one gives a shit about a sick guitar lead. What's going to sound sonically cooler to the average human: a lead guitar- which people have been hearing for the longest time- or the literally unlimited sounds I can cut my voice up into and make it [serve the same purpose]? It just sounds cooler."

As a teenager, Knight studied raps by the likes of Busta Rhymes and Ludacris (he even performed a cover of Fergie's "Fergalicious" at an early show), and he thinks it would be "sweet" to be in a boy band. "You have to stand out, otherwise there's nothing interesting about what you're doing," he explains. "We've always tried to do different shit. A lot of our songs are a pop-driven thing, but it's a band. Girl-pop, to me, is the best genre [in music]. Even if you don't speak English and you hear a Kesha song or a Katy Perry song, it's going to sound so good. The melody is everything: It sounds so happy. Put those songs next to whatever progressive metal band and their fucking guitar sweeps. That's the difference between being a band people like and being a musician's band. [Adopts nerdy voice] 'Oh, that time signature change, blah blah! No one gives a shit except nerdy dudes, and nerdy dudes aren't going to buy your record, anyway. I want to make shit my little sister and her friends would be into."

If Knight is that unabashedly honest about his musical intentions, the words he writes take it a step further. At its core, Double Dare is the antithesis to the public image Waterparks have cultivated over the years. From their irreverent music videos to any number of off- the-rails interviews (including some from this summer's Warped Tour where Knight donned a wedding veil), the band's public persona is that of perpetual Peter Pans. While that might be true (Knight frequently drops words like "butthurt" in conversation), the open-book nature of his lyrics here reveals life isn't all fun and feces jokes.

As such, the songs on Double Dare read like pages ripped from a personal journal. Whether he's dealing with crippling insecurity ("I wish I was as brave as my last name"), self-doubt ("And I'm doing all right/ But is 'all right' enough?/Because I'm living my dreams, but I live at home") or true love ("If you died, I'd hope you'd haunt me"), Knight's words are blunt, painstakingly detailed and instantly relatable. He might project as a court jester, but he's deadly serious about his art.

"There's a time when Awsten can be serious, and that's when he's talking about his music, Benji Madden offers. "In order to sell records or magazines, people feel like they have to be sensational or play a funny game. If you talk to Awsten about anything other than music, you'll get totally jokey, bullshit answers-which I love. But if you talk to him about music, he's a really smart, intentional, thoughtful guy."

"Being honest about it is the best way to go about it," Knight says of his songs. "I've never liked the vague lyrics, like, [jokingly sings] "I've gotta find my way. I've gotta get out of this place! All my favorite lyricists are killer with metaphors or are able to uniquely describe things. I like getting into things and being specific." He references the acoustic ballad "21 Questions," easily one of the album's highlights, but a song slated for the cutting-room floor until Madden stepped in. ("I feel like that song could be one of those scene classics," the Good Charlotte guitarist offers.) It's hard to imagine the album without it.

Outside of being a steady hand in the studio, the Maddens are the perfect mentors for Knight, Wigington and Wood. After all, it was 15 years ago that Good Charlotte went through everything Waterparks are currently navigating, claims of being a test-tube band and all. They've learned everything is cyclical, and they're passing on the lessons they learned to the bands they manage.

"They're so wise," Wigington explains in a separate interview. "You shut up and listen. They've told us, 'Hey, things are going to start getting weird. There will be things you haven't been used to, especially if you're out on the road! But they've told us to look out for each other and have each other's back and helped instill a sense of camaraderie so we can deal with whatever weird shit comes our way."

If their current career trajectory continues, things will be getting weirder and weirder in the Waterparks camp soon. The band have secured the opening spot on Sleeping With Sirens' fall tour, and they're already making plans well into 2017. With a new album ready and the furthest reaches of the scene at their fingertips, it seems like there's really no limit to how big this thing can get. It's already surpassed their wildest dreams in the past year; imagine what one more could bring. Not that it would change their demeanor, of course.

"I'd like to be able to live comfortably to the point where I could ride a bike into a swimming pool filled with Jell-O and have it not be a big deal," Knight says unflinchingly, when asked what success would look like for him. "I was thinking blue or purple because I like cooler colors. Red seems messy. Not yellow or orange, because I don't like those flavors as much. I used to be allergic to blue dye when I was younger, so I'd probably pick that just so I could be like, 'Fuck you." alt