#desperately hoping that someone notices that what Mikey said to Leo in the flashback is the same thing Leo said to Mikey

[phoebepheebsphibs]

Double-Mutated Mikey

Chapter 26: Imposter Syndrome

Continued from the short story written by @boots-with-the-fur-club

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"Wait, back up, so who is Bishop?" Leo asks.

Casey sighs with exasperation as he repeats himself for the third time.

"I told you, he was a commander in the resistance! He helped to lead so many refugees to the base, and even helped to lead it before you and your brothers took over. He was a good man, great instincts, manned several stations when you were absent... He's a war hero!"

"No no, I get that, I mean, who is he now? Why are you freaking out?"

Casey shakes his head.

"Oh, right, right! He approached me at the pizza restaurant, he gave me his number -- he works for the EPF --"

The room erupts into multiple people shouting and yelling, and Mikey whimpering and hiding behind Raphael's legs.

"Everybody, QUIET!!" Leo bellows, commanding silence.

For a moment, Casey can see the leader of the resistance standing in the room again...

"Okay, Case... what happened? He approached you, and...?"

"He offered to help," Casey says with a shrug.

"Help?!" Donnie yells. "The EPF?! I highly doubt it!"

"He showed me that they had some security footage of me," he admits. "And of... Leo and Mikey."

"What?" Leo asks nervously. "How?"

"They caught you on camera when you went to the tunnels looking for Mikey, I think," Casey explains. "He only showed me a pic... but it was you. You even made a portal on camera."

"Great," Leo sighs. "There goes my secret identity..."

"What do we do?" April asks. She'd arrived some time before Casey with some extra drawing supplies for Mikey. "Do we trust him? I mean, we shouldn't, right? They're the bad guys?"

"I don't think Bishop is, though," Casey protests. "He was a respected member of the resistance in the future -- I mean, alternate timeline... and I think he genuinely wants to help us."

"How can you be so sure?" Raph asks, reaching down to pet Mikey's head to calm him; the poor kid is trembling.

"He told me that Mikey has a tracker imbedded under the skin," Casey informs. "Why would he tell us that if he didn't want to help?"

"A tracker?" Dee exclaims, disgusted. "Impossible! My tech would have picked up any --"

"Dee, just check him. He hasn't been in the lab for days, how would you have known?" Leo says.

Donnie grumbles and goes to look Mikey over with his goggles. Mikey flinches under his gaze.

"What else did Bishop say?" Leo asks, looking back to Casey.

"He said that we needed to leave. They know where we are --"

"I could have told you that, I've been fending off their drones relentlessly," Donnie growls.

"He said they wouldn't give up. He said that they would use drills if they had to."

"Drill?" Mikey asks, turning to Donnie. Isn't... Doesn't Donnie use drills?

Wait... how does he know that?

A vague recollection of Donnie pressing buttons on his wrist tech and giant corkscrew machines erupting from the ground flutter into Mikey's mind. For a moment, Mikey is dumbfounded. Did he just... remember?

"Waaaaaaait a moment, what's this?" Donnie says suddenly, pressing his hand against Mikey's shell and lifting the scutes up. In the soft underbody beneath the armor, Donnie reaches down and touches a spot besides Mikey's spine. "I think I may have found it... aha, there it is. A foreign subdermal tracker."

Donnie pauses, looking for something.

"...But... just the one...?"

Mikey feels Donnie's hands curl into fists. He turns to look at him.

"Donnie...?"

"They took it out," he growls, low and guttural and deeply furious. "They took away my tracker."

"What?" Raph asks. "Dee, it's just a tracker, you can make more--"

"That's not -- you don't get it, I'm not --" Donnie stammers before grumbling and smacking his fist against the floor. "They took away my protection for Mikey. I put that there so I'd never have to worry about him -- about any of you -- and they took that from him. From ME. They took away my security for him, and --"

Donnie growls angrily, unable to communicate any further. Mikey chirps at him softly. Donnie doesn't respond, he simply mutters furiously at himself. Mikey climbs onto Dee's lap and hugs him, his tail wrapping around him for security. He rests his throat against Dee, creating rumbling purrs that he can feel. The vibrations ground Donnie, he stops, calms, hugs Mikey back.

"Sorry," he says, sniffling. "I didn't mean to lose focus. I just... it makes me so mad... they took everything from you... from us."

"S'okay," Mikey rumbles. "Donnie do good."

Dee smiles.

"Thanks, Michael. Okay, so back to the matter at hand... I need to remove and destroy that tracker!"

While Donnie has Mikey in his hold, he creates a small device with his ninpo. It looks like a miniaturized pressure gun, but with some extra doodads attached to it. Dee slides the device up under the scutes, presses it to where the tracker is, and pulls the trigger. Mikey yipes from the small pain, but the tracker is pulled out almost instantly, stored in a tiny glowing purple jar. As the old tracker is removed, it is replaced with a new, sleek and slender, bright purple tracker.

With the press of a button, lavender sparks fill the tiny ninpo jar and disintegrate the EPF tracker.

"All done," he says, releasing Mikey. "Thank you, Angelo."

Mikey grumbles to himself as he scoots away.

"Alrighty then, so the tracker is gone, what do we do now? Where are we supposed to go that the EPF wouldn't know about?" April asks.

Splinter suddenly snaps his fingers.

"The Hidden City! I'm sure I could persuade Big Mama to make some allowances for us and --"

"Why not just stay with Draxum?" Donnie interjects. "He's been asking for help to fix his old lab, anyway."

"Fine, I guess we could go there," Splinter grumbles.

"So, we're going on a vacay!" April cheers. "I can't wait to visit witch town again --"

"If they'll let you in after last time," Donnie chuckles.

"You know that whole thing was your fault, Dee."

"That does not sound like me."

"Anyways, let's all get to packing. Dontron, you call Barry and see if he can take us in immediately," Leo directs. "The rest of us will get to packing. Only essentials, guys. This isn't exactly a vacation, but we have no idea how long we'll have to stay in the Hidden City. Bring what you think you'll need for an extended stay."

The group disassembles quickly, each one going in a different direction.

Mikey isn't sure who to follow. At the last second, he chooses April, trotting a few feet behind her as she makes her way to the kitchen. She pulls out a cooler before opening the fridge. Mikey takes an extra step back.

"What you doing?" Mikey asks.

"Packing some snacks," she replies. "I kinda doubt Drax has any human food at his place, so I'm just bringing what I can."

"You come with us?" he asks, tilting his head.

"Yeah! Of course!" she says with a smile. "I mean, I can't stay the whole time, I still have classes and stuff -- but I'll hang with you guys for as long as I can. You're important to me, Mikey!"

Mikey hums. His tail wags softly, but he purses his lips as he tries to understand.

You're important to me, Mikey.

"...Why?"

April pauses, flinching at the question. She turns to face him, her expression concerned and maybe even a little hurt.

"What do you mean, 'why'? Because I love you, silly! You... you do know that, right?"

Huh. Mikey kind of did... he felt her kindness when he first met her. She cried for him. He knows she likes him very much, like his brothers do. They all love him.

"Yes."

"So, then why do you wonder why you'd be important to me if you know I love you?"

"What did I do to make you love me?" he wonders.

April sucks in a breath.

"Mikey, you didn't do anything to make me love you. I just... you're my brother. Of course I love you, regardless of what you do. You don't have to earn my love, it's yours! That's why you're important to me."

Mikey hums, pouting in confusion. It doesn't equate, it doesn't make sense. Shouldn't he do something? A test, an exercise or experiment, something to help her or prove his worth to her? She barely knows him, he barely knows her. Nothing about how they're treating him makes much sense. Especially compared to the labs. He had to earn everything there, he had to earn his own life most days.

"...What is your name again?"

"April," she replies sadly.

"April. April. April. Okay... Can Mikey -- can I ask another question?"

"Sure," she says with a kind smile.

"If you're my sister, then why don't you live with us or look like my brothers?"

April's expression looks shocked. Her mouth opens and closes, trying to find the right words...

"Hey, guys! I was wondering where you'd gotten to," Leo says as he enters the kitchen, interrupting and effectively ending the conversation between the two. "Whatchya doin'?"

"I-I was packing some snacks for us," April stammers, "when Mikey came in and-- huh?"

April looks around the room, suddenly noticing the strange lack of Mikey.

"Where'd he go?"

Mikey left the kitchen as soon as Leo came in. The soft limp and new bandages wrapped around his leg and neck made him feel sick to his stomach with guilt.

So he crept away while Leo was busy with April. Mikey sniffs the air, trying to find a scent of his brothers. Casey and Donnie are in the labs. Raph is in his room. Splinter is in his bedroom. Splinter is closest.

Mikey trots off to find his father. He hasn't spent a lot of time with him.

Mikey pokes his head through the sliding paper door, and spies Splinter holding a thick and heavy book. He smiles fondly at the pages. His ear twitches, and he turns to look at Mikey.

"Ah, Orange! Come in, my son."

Mikey hops in, sitting himself beside his father. He likes when Splinter calls him 'Orange', like the fruit. Sweet and simple. It makes him think maybe he can be as sweet as that... though he's not sure how he earned the nickname. He hopes he can live up to it.

"I was just packing up a few things, and found this scrapbook! Look at how young you all were..."

Mikey peers over the page and stares at the photos. They are such tiny babies... Leo and Donnie are in teacups getting bathed with a toothbrush. Raph is eating a strawberry twice the size of his head. Mikey is sleeping on a sponge.

April's not there. Neither is Casey. But, aren't they family...?

Splinter turns the page before Mikey can finish his train of thought. The next page has images of them all as toddlers. Splinter smiling in front of a lemonade stand run by Leo, with Raph crushing lemons into a bin behind them. Donnie is fiddling with a wrench and a toaster. Mikey is painting.

Huh. He looks so different.

Well, they all look a little different. Leo's stripes aren't as big or noticeable, Raph's tail isn't as long and spiky, and his scales aren't pointed. He doesn't have the hole or the chip in his shell and plastron. Donnie's head looks too big for his body.

But Mikey is so much more different. He traces his finger across the photo.

Splinter turns the page again.

Mikey gasps when he sees the next picture.

It's all of them together. Splinter, his brothers, April, and... and...

Is that Mikey?

Is that what he looks like?

Looked like...

Mikey leans into the page, his beak bumping against the paper as he sniffs it, hoping in vain that he can smell himself to prove that the child in that photo... is him.

Where is the tail?

Where are the claws?

The teeth are small and non-threatening. There's a gap in the upper jaw.

His skin is lighter, less spots. His shell is perfectly intact and whole, the patterns on it are bright and brilliant and beautiful. Nothing like the dull and scratched-out marks on his...

Mikey looks like his brothers. But not anymore... he had no idea...

"Orange? What is wrong, dear boy?"

Mikey is no dear boy. That title belongs to the kid in the photo. Not him. Not this monster.

Mikey slinks away from the photo and runs out of the room. He passes Leo in the halls.

"Whoah -- hey! Mikey, slow down, where are you--?"

Mikey doesn't slow down. He runs away and hides in Raph's room. Raphael jumps and shouts in surprise as Mikey hops up onto his bed and curls under the sheets.

"Aiiee! Mikey? What are you--"

He stops when he hears Mikey crying.

"Mikey? Big man? You okay?"

Mikey shakes his head no.

"Aw. Well, do you want me to sit with you?"

Mikey thinks it over. He lifts his arm, signaling for Raph to climb into the blanket with him. He sets down the box and sits on the bed, wrapping the sheet over his shoulder. The height difference between the two of them makes the blanket drape like a tent over Mikey.

"Wanna talk about it?"

Mikey shakes his head no. Talking about it will reveal how Mikey is lost. He couldn't even remember what he looked like! How is Raph supposed to love him when he finds out he isn't Mikey anymore?

He doesn't care what April said. He HAS to earn it. If he isn't their Mikey anymore... then whatever they think he did before doesn't apply. He has to start over with them, get their affections back for this new Mikey that they have. But... if that's the case, then he's off to a really rough start.

"It'll be okay," Raph promises. "You'll lick this."

Raph pats Mikey's shoulder, trying to comfort him. Mikey sighs.

This feels... familiar...

.

.

.

Mikey sits with his brother, rubbing his shoulder softly. Raph whimpers under the blanket, crying.

"Dude, it's not that big of a deal."

Raph peeks out from under his pillows at Mikey and whines.

"B-but your face..."

"It's just a bruise!" Mikey says, smiling brightly at Raph. His round face is slightly rounder, one of his cheeks is puffy and black and blue. Mikey had come in to wake him for breakfast and Raph had freaked out, forgetting he was home and smacked his baby brother in the face as he flailed awake.

Raph whimpers again, reaching out and cupping Mikey's swollen cheek.

"It looks so baaaaaad..."

"I'll be fiiiiiine," Mikey assures him. "It's all okay!"

"B-but I--"

"Raph." Mikey says sternly. "I scared you. You reacted. It happens. Do you know how many times I've been smacked by Donnie when I try to wake him up? And have you seen how many times I've kicked Leo in the face when he tries to get me to go to bed earlier?"

"This is different!"

"You're right, this time it was an accident, and not on purpose."

Raph sighs.

"You know what I mean. I can't... I don't want to be like this."

Raph subconsciously starts to scratch at his eyepatch again. His eye is still injured and slightly irritated, and he knows it will only get worse the more he scratches at it, but he can't help it. He's the protector of the family, the biggest and oldest and arguably the strongest... though, Donnie can carry them all with his hover shell, and Leo can block a mutant's punch without even flinching, and Mikey can flip a whole building. He isn't supposed to be this frail, fragile, frightened mutant ninja turtle.

Mikey's expression falls. His gaze softens. He scoots in closer, taking Raph's hand in his as rests his head on top of Raph's.

"You won't be like this. It WILL get better."

"How do you know?" Raph asks nervously.

"Because I know you. You'll lick this, like you lick everything. Nothing is too tough for my big brother."

Raph sighs with a chuckle.

"Some big brother I am, having to rely on my little brother to help me get outta my head..."

"Even big brothers need to take a break and get some sense knocked into 'em," Mikey jokes, smacking Raph upside the head playfully.

"Hey!"

"Haha!" Mikey jeers, jumping up and pulling Raph along the with him. "Now come on, let's go make brekkies! I'll do your favourite -- chocolate chip pancakes!"

Raph smiles, following his baby brother out the door...

.

.

.

"Mikey?"

"Hmm?"

Mikey comes back to reality and turns to look at Raph.

"You zoned out on Raph. You all good, big man?"

Mikey doesn't say anything. He reaches up and touches the area around Raph's injured eye. Raph smiles, and takes his claw in his gentle giant hands.

"...Lick this," Mikey echoes. "Y-you won't be like this. It WILL get better."

Mikey stares up at Raph, who looks like he might start crying.

"...It will get better for Mikey, too?"

Raph nods with a smile.

"Absolutely, big man. It will get better."

Raph hugs Mikey tightly before going back to packing.

"Hey, wanna help Raph pick out which plushies should go with us to Draxum's?"

Mikey chirps in agreement, hopping down from the bed and shuffling through the stuffed animals and plush dolls. The two organize the collection for a few minutes before Leo pokes his head in.

"Hey Raph, have you seen --"

Mikey jumps into the pile and hides.

"-- Mikey. Uh, what is going on?"

"We're choosing which stuffed animals go with us," Raph explains.

"But why is he in the pile now?"

"I'm, uh... not entirely sure."

Leo approaches the pile cautiously. Mikey's tail is still hanging out. Leo taps it.

"Hey, Mikey --"

Mikey bursts out of the pile of stuffies and runs away again.

He's not ready to talk to Leo yet.

Instead, he runs into the skate room and scurries up into the jungle gym Donnie made for him. He hides in the tube, waiting to see if Leo will come after him again…

Maybe if Mikey is quiet, Leo won’t find him… but, he sorta does want Leo to find him.

It’s hard to explain, and hard to understand. It’s the same as when he left the lair and got scolded by Leo. He wants the scolding, the anger, the unpleasantness to be done with so he can hurry up and feel better. But it's not Leo that's angry with Mikey... Mikey is the only one angry with Mikey. So, he's not sure what to do.

Twenty minutes go by before Leo finally makes his way into the rec room.

“Mikey?” he calls out.

Mikey unintentionally makes a despondent chirr. It’s quiet and soft, but he thinks maybe Leo heard him.

His theory is confirmed when he hears Leo walk directly underneath the structure he is hiding in and call up to him again.

“Mikey, come down from there. We have to leave soon, and I need to know what stuff of yours we gotta pack!”

Mikey doesn’t budge.

“Mikey, what is going on? Why are you avoiding me?”

Mikey doesn’t say anything. His tail twitches.

“Are you gonna come down?”

“Mm-mmngh,” Mikey mumbles, shaking his head despite the fact that Leo can’t see his head.

“…Fine then. I’m coming up!”

Mikey jolts, sitting upright and watching in surprise as Leo grabs hold of the rope and starts climbing. It’s not quite so easy on his leg, and Mikey suddenly feels bad for making him come up. But Leo isn't one to be deterred, and pulls himself up to wriggle through the tube tunnel. He smiles at Mikey, who crouches and slinks away from him sadly.

“Mikey, don’t run away again, I just got up here!” Leo gripes, crawling towards his brother.

Mikey whines, shrinking into himself. His tail wraps around him. Mikey taps the floor of the tube sadly. He won't run again... if only because it might hurt Leo's injuries.

Leo sighs with relief as he crawls closer.

“So what’s up? I mean, besides us right now,” he jokes.

He hopes it will lighten the mood. Mikey makes a half smile, but turns his face away from Leo.

“Mikey? What’s wrong? Do you not want to leave the lair or something?”

‘Not that,’ Mikey signs.

Leo’s smile falls when he sees Mikey isn’t talking at all. That’s not a good sign.

“Then what is it?” he asks. “Why do you keep running from me—“

The words stop in his mouth. His eyes widen. He’s figured it out.

“…Oh. You’re scared… of… me? Or of hurting me again?”

Mikey nods.

‘Leo going to be mad. Mikey… scared. Mikey hurt Leo, Mikey monster.’

“You’re not a monster, Mikey. We talked about this last night, and I already told you I’m not mad!”

“But I am!” Mikey snaps back loudly, tears in his eyes. “And I want you to be mad at me! It doesn't make sense, I don’t get why you won’t be mad at me!!”

“Because I already forgave you for what happened! It was an honest accident and —“

“But it wasn’t! I did that myself!! It wasn't Instinct, it wasn't sleepwalking, or whatever else could happen! I knew what I was doing, I knew I was g-going to hurt s-someone, and I didn't care who, a-and I-- I--!”

“But not me. You wouldn’t hurt me.”

“But I did—“

“Mikey.”

Leo's tone is stern, severe, strong. Not angry, but maybe a bit irritated. Leo reaches forward, and Mikey flinches, eyes squeezing shut and muscles tensing. He waits for whatever Leo will do. He waits for the punishment.

Mikey feels a pat against his cheek. A soft slap. It doesn’t hurt, but it does surprise him.

He opens his eyes and stares at Leo, brow folding in confusion.

“There. We’re even.”

“W-what?”

“I hit you back. We’re even. So you don’t have to be so upset about it anymore. I’m not mad, so you don’t have to be mad either.”

“B-but… that's it? That can't be it! What if I hurt you again?”

“I don’t think you will. Do you think you will?” Leo asks with concern.

“I… I don’t want to! But what if I can’t control it?” Mikey asks, digging his nails into the tube. “What if Instinct lashes out? What if I can’t keep myself from attacking someone again?? What if I really am a monster —“

Leo takes Mikey’s hands.

“Mikey… I won’t let that happen. You cannot ever convince me that you are a monster. Not ever. I don’t care what they did to you in there, I don’t care what bull-crap they made you believe about needing to earn things and what your worth is, but none of that is true. You mean everything to me, and I don’t care how many times I have to say it to you. I’ll say it every day if I need to! Mikey, we love you no matter what, no matter the mistakes or mess-ups or whatever else happens. We love you. And we want you to love yourself just as much as we do, so whatever I have to do to show you the real worth you have, the real value that we see in you, I'll do it. Because Mikey, you're worth -- you are worth --"

Leo hyperventilates, trying to catch his breath and force the words out.

"-- You are worth everything to me. I'd sacrifice anything and everything for you... I-I'd even go back to the P-P-Prison D-Dimension for you!"

Mikey stares at Leo, terrified. He has no idea what the Prison Dimension is, but from how white Leo's face went when he mentioned it, Mikey is certain that the 'Prison Dimension' is his version of the labs.

Leo is shaking. Mikey reaches over to take his hand --

.

.

.

It's been one of those days again... Leo is having a hard time recovering, and hasn't spoken a word at all. He made tons of jokes on Staten Island, and he talked up a blue streak in the tank with everyone on the drive home, but... once he got home... he went silent.

Some days (usually the days when he's high off of painkillers) he'll goof and laugh and joke and converse to no end. But they can see the mask, Mikey can tell Leo is secretly terrified about everything that happened. Simply because he won't talk at all about the invasion. He won't even recognize Casey as a part of the room. He just pretends it never happened.

But most days (like today) Leo sits in his bed in the medbay and stares off into space.

Mikey likes to come in and talk with him while he's being quiet but present. If Leo won't say anything, Mikey can say enough for the both of them.

And that's what he's doing now. Mikey just spent the past hour talking about a new Lou Jitsu reboot prequel television series he heard about. It looks cool, but of course will never match up to the real deal. He mentioned what Barry was up to during the invasion. He talked about what toppings they should get for Casey's first pizza once Leo is out and walking again...

But Leo seemed to not respond to anything, so Mikey figured he was dissociated. Mikey sits in the quiet, twiddling his tremoring hands.

"...I tried cooking again today," Mikey offers quietly. "I-I burned the eggs. Remember when I kept burning the food when you tried to teach me how to cook for myself? I burned everything in the kitchen! Heck, I almost burned the whole kitchen down!"

Mikey laughs to himself at the memory. It's a shaky laugh, and it turns into soft whimpering cries as he tries to maintain the positive facade.

"I g-guess my hands still aren't r-ready to do that yet."

Mikey's breathing speeds up.

"I tried to d-draw again, too. But the pencils -- my hands won't stay still. I keep sh-shaking. I keep, I keep --"

Mikey gasps for breath as he fights to keep the tears from escaping.

"I-I tried using my chucks. I hit myself in the face. I tried t-to paint, to do r-razzmatazz, I, I-I tried making a sandwich! I couldn't do--do it, I can't, c-can't --"

Leo takes Mikey's hand in his.

Mikey turns to look at his brother in shock. He wasn't sure Leo even knew he was in the medbay with him. But here he is, fully lucid and watching Mikey with concern.

"I-I'm sorry," Mikey blurts out. "I didn't mean to dump all that on you -- I shouldn't have said all that, you need your rest and to not worry about me, I'm fine , I just -- I thought you -- I mean, I just wanted to vent, but I -- You don't need to know --"

Leo pulls Mikey's hands closer and looks them over. The bandages cover over all the scarring that the mystic mishap caused. He smiles weakly, before choking out a quick sentence.

"Th-thank you for... opening the portal."

Mikey's eyes sting with tears. A lump forms in his throat. Leo hasn't spoken in so long, and... He looks up at Mikey, eyes welling up with tears. Leo starts to cry, sucking in deep breaths.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry you had to do that for me..."

Mikey throws himself across Leo, wrapping him in a hug despite the injury to his ribs and arms and legs and... well, to his whole body.

"Leo, I would do it again and again and again and again and again and --"

Mikey loses the plot and just weeps over Leo. Leo weeps right back into him. The two are a sobby, teary-eyed, bleary-eyed mess of martyrs.

"I don't care about my hands, I don't care about the cooking or the art or anything else, I'm just so so so so so so so glad that you came home!" Mikey yells through the tears. "I can handle waiting on my hands to get better! Please don't think that I'm -- don't think that you don't mean more to me than all those things, you mean everything to me! I really would open up a portal to the -- to that place again! I just want you to be okay!"

Mikey sobs, his tears so loud that he can't hear anything other than his own pathetic blubbers.

"...I love you so much, Mikey," Leo snivels quietly. "I'm sorry... I love you... Thank you... I know what you gave up for me... thank you... thank you... thank... I didn't deserve that... you shouldn't have had to... but you did... f-for me....."

"Of course, Leo," Mikey whimpers. "You're more than worth it, and you deserve every good thing. You didn't deserve to go through the pain you've endured, you didn't deserve to get hurt and scared, you didn't deserve to be trapped in a heckscape with an evil alien warlord. But for every day of the rest of my life, I will make sure you get all the love you deserve, and it will still never be enough..."

Mikey squeezes Leo tighter. He can't let him go. He won't ever let him go. Never again.

The two suddenly feel more arms around them, as Raph and Donnie appear out of nowhere and pile on the cry-fest hug party.

.

.

.

Mikey stares wide-eyed at Leo's hand in his. He slowly looks up at him.

Leo smiles, tears in his eyes.

Oh.

Mikey is starting to see his worth now... he did something... something that cost his hands for a while. Something that saved Leo from the Prison Dimension. Whatever that is.

Mikey swallows slowly, and looks back down at his hands.

They are not the same ones that saved Leo. They are the ones that hurt him.

You cannot ever convince me that you are a monster. Not ever. I don’t care what they did to you in there, I don’t care what bull they made you believe about needing to earn things and what your worth is, but none of that is true.

Don't think that you don't mean more to me than all those things, you mean everything to me! I really would open up a portal to the -- to that place again! I just want you to be okay!

You mean everything to me, and I don’t care how many times I have to say it to you. I’ll say it every day if I need to!

Because Mikey, you're worth everything to me. I'd sacrifice anything and everything for you... I'd even go back to the Prison Dimension for you!

Mikey starts crying again.

He crawls forwards and wraps his arms around Leo, sobbing into his shoulder.

"D-don't leave me," he begs quietly. "I don't want to lose you."

"O-okay," Leo whispers back, patting Mikey's shell. "You won't..."

"Please don't leave me..." Mikey repeats. "Don’t go away from me, Leo… I can’t lose you…..”

"Mikey, what are you talking about?" Leo asks, stroking his shell. "I'm not going anywhere, I was just --"

"Leo, please," Mikey begs. "Just promise me. Promise me, that... no matter what... I won't lose you."

Leo holds Mikey stiffly. He's not sure what Mikey is getting at, but...

"I promise you, Mikey. I won't leave, and you'll never lose me."

Mikey rubs his face deeper into Leo's shoulders.

"I'm so sorry, Leo... for hurting you..."

Leo shushes him and squeezes him tight.

"It's over and dealt with. We don't need to worry over it anymore, right?"

Mikey nods slowly.

"Good. Now, can we get down from here? I'm starting to get claustrophobic!" He laughs. "But seriously though, it's too tight for me."

.

.

.

"We're telling him."

"I thought we agreed that was a bad idea?" Donnie argues.

"I said it was a tough discussion to bring up," Leo retorts. "But I think he needs to know what's going on about the anti-mutagen hitch. And I also think we should tell him about the rest..."

"The rest?" Raph asks timidly.

"His contributors to his mutant DNA," Leo clarifies. "We said we wouldn't talk about it at the time, mostly due to the fact that he was mutated using Krang DNA. But I'm thinking that..."

Leo looks over at Donnie anxiously.

"...Since you don't, uh... well... y'know. Since it doesn’t look like Mikey will be getting un-mutated anytime soon, I think he deserves to know."

The trio are silent as they stand in Donnie's room.

"I don't know, Leo," Raph sighs. "Wouldn't that just... make it worse?"

"Maybe it'll add to whatever he's dealing with, maybe not," Leo says with a shrug. "I don't think he understands what the Krang are yet. I mentioned the Prison Dimension and he didn't even bat an eye!"

"But... I... don't want to tell him," Donnie squirms. "I don't want him to know I failed..."

"Well, obviously we won't phrase it like that!" Leo says, balancing on his heels as he leans back and forth with his hands on his hips. "But he deserves to know how his condition is going to progress, Dee."

Donnie sighs and clutches his bow staff. Raph pulls him close into a side hug.

"We're telling him everything. There's no point in keeping secrets from him," Raph agrees. "I'm just worried how it's gonna affect his mental health stuffs."

"However it affects him, we'll be there to help him get through it. And, uh, there is something else, too..."

"What now?" Donnie sighs. He doesn't mean to gripe, but he's just so tired of all these problems that afflict Mikey that he can't fix or solve straightaway.

"I spoke with April and Dad. I think... there might be something Mikey hasn't told us about his memory problems."

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