#detail. the lemon squash is my blood now.

[scolek]

i already went insane about perfectly imperfect and artistic partisan like. last year or the year before. inevitably i will even have something to say about crossing heart, which i have listened to in full. once?

[aiweirdness]

How to begin a novel

Last year for National Novel Writing Month I trained a neural net called torch-rnn on 10,096 unique ways to begin a novel. It came up with some intriguing possibilities, my personal favorite being “I am forced to write to my neighbors about the beast.” But many of its sentences used made-up words, or had such weird grammar that they were difficult to read, or meandered too erratically. (“The first day of the world was born in the year 1985, in an old side of the world, and the air of the old sky of lemon and waves and berries.”) The neural net was struggling to write more than a few words at a time.

This year, I decided to revisit this dataset with a larger, more-powerful neural net called GPT-2. Unlike most of the neural nets that came earlier, GPT-2 can write entire essays with readable sentences that stay mostly on topic (even if it has a tendency to lose its train of thought or get very weird). I trained the largest size that was easily fine-tunable via GPT-2-simple, the 355M size of GPT-2. Would a more-powerful neural net produce better first lines?

One of the parameters I can tweak when I’m getting a trained neural net to generate text is temperature - this controls whether the neural net chooses the most likely next bit of text as it writes, or whether it’s permitted to use its less-likely predictions. At a default of 0.7, a relatively conservative temperature, the neural net’s first lines not only make grammatical sense, but they even have the rhythm of a novel’s first line. This is DRAMATICALLY better than torch-rnn did.

I am, or was.

At the mid-day meal the sun began to set and the quiet dragged on.

There was once a man who lived for a very long time; perhaps three thousand years, or perhaps a thousand million years, maybe a trillion or so, depending on how the scientists look at it.

He had the heart of a lion, and the fangs of a man-eater.

"I am Eilie, and I am here to kill the world."

The old woman was sitting on a rock near the sea, smoking a pipe.

I have just been informed, that the debate over the question 'is it right or wrong to have immortal souls' has been finally brought to a conclusion.

When I was a boy, I was fond of the story of the pirate god.

He had a strange name, and he was a very big boy indeed.

The purple-haired woman came to the clearing in the plain, and without looking up from her book, said, "It's too late to be thinking about baby names."

The village of Pembrokeshire, in the county of Mersey, lies on a wide, happy plain, which, in a few years, was to become known as the "Land of the Endless Mountains."

I don’t think the neural net plagiarized any of these? They are so good that I’m suspicious. But others of the neural net’s lines are even weirder, yet in an effective way that opens with an intriguing premise.

The moon had gone out.

I was playing with my dog, Mark the brown Labrador, and I had forgotten that I was also playing with a dead man.

The black stone was aching from the rain.

The short, dirty, and dirty-looking ship that weighed three tons and was three feet in diameter landed on a desolate and green plain.

How many times have I had the misfortune to die?

The first black dog in the park had been captured alive.

Behold the Sky Rabbits!

In the belly of the great beast that was the bovine Aurore there lived, upon the right hand of the throne, the Empress Penelope; and she had, as it were, a heart of gold.

The moon stood on its own two feet.

The reeking maw of the blood-drunk ship, the enemy's flagship, was silent and empty.

The first day I met my future self, I was aboard the old dirigible that lay in wait for me on the far side of the moon.

The child of two cats, and a tiger, a clown, a horse, a bird, a ship, and a dragon, stood on either side of the threshold of the Gatehouse, watching the throng of travelers who came in from all around the world, before he had any idea what was going on.

I think it’s probably doing this accidentally, stringing likely words and phrases together without understanding what any of them really mean. It’s not that it’s good at science fiction or magical realism; it’s that it’s trying and failing to predict what would have fit in with the usual human-written stuff. Some of the neural net’s first lines really betray its lack of the understanding of the laws of physics. It really likes to describe the weather, but it doesn’t really understand how weather works. Or other things, really.

The moon was low in the sky, as though it had been shipped in from the farthest reaches of the solar system.

The first star I saw was a blue one, which became a scarlet one, and then a gold one, and green, and finally a yellow one, which for some years afterwards seemed to be an ebony one, or even a bubbling mass.

The sun rose slowly, like a mighty black cat, and then sank into a state of deep sleep.

The sea of stars was filled with the serenity of a million little birds.

The great blue field was all white, swept away by the blue-gold breeze that blew from the south.

The sky was cold and dark, and the cold wind, if it had not been for the clouds, would have lashed the children to the roof of the house.

The morning sun was shining brightly, but the sky was grey and the clouds aching.

The night that he finally made up his mind to kill the dog, the man was walking home from the store with his wife and child in the back seat.

Arthur the lion had been pretty much extinct for some time, until the time when he was petted by Abernathy the old woman, and her son, Mr. Popp.

One of the disadvantages of having a neural net that can string together a grammatical sentence is that its sentences now can begin to be terrible in a more-human sense, rather than merely incomprehensible. It ventures into the realm of the awful simile, or the mindnumbingly repetitive, and it makes a decent stab at the 19th century style of bombastic wordiness. I selected the examples above for uncomprehending brilliance but the utter tediousness below is more the norm.

The whites of my eyes shimmered, as if my mind were dancing.

I once went to a party where the dress code was as strict as a chicken coop with no leggings and no boots.

A black cloud drifted by, a mottled mass of hydrogen, a black cloud of hydrogen, with the definite characteristic of being black.

I say I am at sea, because I am standing upon the ocean, and look out across the barren, vast throng of the sea.

It is, of course, a trifling matter in the ordinary course of things, if a certain writer were to write a novel, which is a book of stories, which is a book of characters, wherein every detail of the story is stated, together with a brief description of the theme which it concerns.

There was a boy with blue eyes, with sandy hair and blue eyes that looked at all times like he had been pushed through a million compartments.

The Sun, with its rolling shaft of bright light, the brilliant blue of the distant golden sun, and the red glow of its waning corona, was shining.

The man who was not Jack the Ripper had been promoted four times in the last two years.

Felix the Paw was sitting at the table of his favorite restaurant, the "Bordeaux" in the town of Bordeaux, when his father, Cincinnata, came in to say good-by to the restaurant.

It, sir, gives me the greatest pleasure to hear that the Court be not too long in passing away: but that I may have leisure to prepare a new work for the publication of my friend and colleague, the renowned Epistemology, which is now finished; and in which I shall endeavour to show, that this very point is of the highest importance in the subject of the philosophy which I am about to treat of.

It was a rainy, drizzling day in the summer of 1869 and the people of New York, who had become accustomed to the warm, kissable air of the city, were having another bad one.

Repetitiveness is also common, especially at this conservative temperature setting. Once the neural net gets itself into a repetitive state, it doesn’t seem to rescue itself - it’s a problem that people have noticed in several versions of this algorithm. (It doesn’t help that I forgot to scrub the “title” that someone submitted to the dataset that consists of the word “sand” repeated 2,000 times)

The sky was blue and the stars were blue and the sun was blue and the water was blue and the clouds were blue and the blue sky was like a piece of glass.

At the end of the world, where the tides burst upon the drowned, there exists a land of dragons, of dragons, which is the land of the dragons.

It's the end of the world, it's the end of the world, it's the end of the world, it's the end of the world, it's the end of the world, you're dead.

There was once a land of sand, and sand, sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand

Increasing the temperature of the sampling would help the repetitiveness problem, in theory, letting the neural net venture into more interesting territory. But at a temperature of 1.0 the text tends to venture out of everyday surrealism and into wordy yet distractible incomprehensibility.

The praying mules on the top of the hills sounded the final klaxon, lifting their spiked front hoofs as they crept the last few feet of desert landscape past the crest of the enormous swathe of prehistoric sand.

In the glen of the Loch is a ladder that winds way up through a passage to a ledge with soft, moss-laden environmental standards.

Someone whipped a dead squash gibbet across the room, like some formidable war lord unleashing a heavy hunk of silver at home.

One blue eyed child stood up and cried out: "Douay, saurines, my Uncle – Fanny Pemble the loader!"

Jud - an elderly despot, or queen in emopheles, was sitting across the table from the king, looking very thoughtfully into the perplexions of the proceedings.

Oh, you're a coward little fool, as if you couldn't bear to leer at a Prunker or white-clad bodyguard quickly emerging from a shady, storm-damaged area of the city.

Hanging presently in his little bell-bottomed chamber on the landing-house, early in the morning, the iron traveler sat on a broad-blonde sandbricksannel blanket outside the gate of a vast and ancient island.

Long, glowing tongues trailed from your mouth as you listened to what was being said across this kingdom of ours, but growing a little more somber since the week that caused us to proclaim general war.

The night I first met Winnie the Pooh, I had sat in the Tasting-House and heard the Chef unpack the last of the poison upon his quiet dinnertable.

There is, of course, no perfect setting at which the neural net churns out sensible yet non-repetitive first lines. There are just varying shades of general awfulness, interspersed with accidental brilliance.

No matter how much you’re struggling with your novel, at least you can take comfort in the fact that AI is struggling even more.

I generated all the neural net sentences above using a generic “It” as the prompt that the neural net had to build on (it would usually go on to generate another 20-30 sentences at a time). But although the sentences are independent in my training data, GPT-2 is used to large blocks of text that go together. The result is if I prompt it instead with, say, a line from Harry Potter fanfic, the neural net will tend to stick with that vein for a while. I've included a few examples as bonus content for subscribers.

Update: I now have a few thousand unfiltered examples of neural net-generated first lines at the GitHub repository where I have the original crowdsourced dataset. Themes include: Harry Potter, Victorian, My Little Pony, and Ancient Gods.

My book on AI is out, and, you can now get it any of these several ways! Amazon - Barnes & Noble - Indiebound - Tattered Cover - Powell’s

[sesskagarchive]

Do you know any sesskag dubcon/rape fics?

Hello anon, thanks for asking.

We decided to compile a list so here are some recommended fics for Dubcon/rape. Some of these even come with Sequels! Happy Reading!

Admin Wicked/k9plus1

DUBCON LIST:

A Curse of Lust by Squash/Fearless miko:

Posted On: Dokuga, FF.net,  Rating: MA Summary: A lusty curse leaves the females in Inuyasha's group running for their lives...and towards their destiny! 

A Mere Digression, by elle6778:

Posted on: Dokuga  Rating: M Summary: A digression was what Sesshoumaru called it. ‘It’ being the heated encounters between him and Kagome which took place simply because neither of them could resist. Heed warnings and notes in the first chapter.

A Woman!, by sugar0o:

Posted On: Dokuga, FF.net , Rating: M Summary: Based somewhat off the idea of Mulan, staring our fav paring Sess/kags, AU, their both demons, because well it makes it easier, and I don’t want to make Sess human, its not right! [lemon w/a plot] this has 2 points, I want to write a lemon to get more comfortable with them, also I want to explore detailing my writing, I will ask that you give serious reviews/critiques, bc I want to learn from this, not just entertain and enthrall. *COMPLETE as of 9/3/9*

Acquisition, Possession, Seduction, by Mistress Sianna: 

Posted On: Dokuga, FF.net Rating: M Summary: “Do not think for one moment that you can escape me.” he said slowly, deliberately. \"You Higurashi Kagome, are mine! Only I will decide if you will stay, if you will go, if you will live or if you will die.\"

Alpha, by Lyra/ lyrainthedark:

Posted On: Dokuga, FF.net Rating: M Summary: Kagome mates Inuyasha...but Inuyasha was reluctant. Why? Pack politics...and his brother, who is Alpha. What that means will take time to learn, if Kagome can only live long enough for the lessons... Finally Complete!

Bound by Corruption, by BelovedStranger/ Two Hearts:

Posted On: Dokuga. AO3, FF.net   Rating: M Summary: Inside every individual, darkness dwelled large or small. A young woman, cast under her elder sister’s shadow, was bent on proving her worth. A terrible threat hung over her village, giving Kagome the opportunity she had been waiting for. On a mission to save them all from the hearts of evil men, she journeyed to the Inu no Kami’s temple to beseech divine intervention. Instead, danger befell the headstrong woman. Rather than obtaining help from a merciful god, another stepped in to slaughter her enemies, but for a price. An Inugami did nothing for free. Status: Completed

Detrimental Desires, by Mistress Sianna:

Posted on: Dokuga  Rating: M Summary: The idea was to make Inuyasha kill Kagome. Little did Naraku know, that on the night of the new moon, Inuyasha looses his demonic powers. Instead, Sesshoumaru and Kagome will be forced to succumb to their most detrimental desires.

Fix It, by Smortz:

Posted On: Dokuga. Rating: M Summary:  When Sesshomaru needs Kagome to help him, she takes advantage of the dog demon now in her debt. As they set out on a new journey, will Kagome be able to overcome the problem that arises? Pun Intended.

He Must be Breeding, by ChaoticReverie:

Posted On: Dokuga  Rating: M Summary: Sesshomaru requires the perfect female to bear his heir, and Kagome… well, she doesn’t know how she gets herself into these messes.

Heated Blood by Imani Joain:

Posted On: Dokuga, FF.net, AO3 Rating: M Summary: Kagome cannot help but try to fix anything she finds broken, even if it is not in her best interest to do so. When she comes across Sesshomaru in dire need of assistance, she cannot deny herself. She only hopes that he won't kill her for it. Rated MA for graphic intimacy. Staus: WIP

House of Ill Repute, by Aurora Antheia Raine:

Posted On: Dokuga, FF.net, AO3 Rating: M Summary:  "I will never be yours." // "But you will be, miko," he nearly purred, "you will be when this Sesshoumaru is finished with you."

Irresistible Temptation, by DestinysTears:

Posted On: Dokuga, FF.net     Rating: M Summary: Sesshomaru finds he cannot ignore this inexplicable temptation. (Oneshot)

Just Another Lemon, by Tiegrsi: 

Posted on: Dokuga Rating: M Summary: Sesshomaru has gone into heat, and finds Kagome willing to put up with his antics. Kagome thinks he was unable to find a suitable woman, and came to her as a last resort. Perhaps there are some things Kagome needs to learn

Lair, Lair, by susie: 

Posted On: Dokuga   Rating: M Summary: After nearly being nearly absorbed, Sesshoumaru's Bakusaiga is forged, and we all know the rest of the story... or do we? In a deal with Sunrise to accelerate the events of TFA, part of the infamous manga was left on the cutting room floor. Though the hack job began well before that. For the sake of public decency, and in accordance with Japan's obscenity laws, the spiciest and most controversial scenes from the original manga were banned from ever seeing the light of day. Until now. On the condition of anonymity, a diligent hacker provided via email a copy of the raw version you were never meant to see. This is Inuyasha Nights – The Lost Chapter *Dubcon

Macaria, by mythicamagic:

Posted on: Dokuga, FF.net, AO3 Rating: M Summary: Post-apocalyptic AU. Human women were all but wiped out when the demons took over. What few remain have gone into hiding or concealed their true gender. When Kagome hears news of an orphaned little girl, she'll stop at nothing to protect her from the dangers of the world- including the city of demons and the infamous Killing Perfection. But is he friend or foe? Status: WIP

Not Impervious, by Oroyukae: 

Posted On: Dokuga   Rating: M Summary: He was supposed to be the most powerful demon in existence; one that none could best in any situation, at any time. That was not entirely accurate, it would seem. One error in judgment at the most vulnerable of times, and all that he knows lay in jeopardy. Just what would said being be willing to agree to in the direst of circumstances? {FIN}

Passion, by CiraArana:

Posted On: Spark, Rating: M Summary: Sesshomaru turned to her and gazed back. He did nothing else, just standing there, looking at her... As he kept his eyes on her, his lust for blood and killing faded away, leaving behind another lust. For her. Status: Abandoned

Poison of Erised!, by Vyncent:

Posted On: Dokuga, Rating: M Summary: Tomorrow night, brother moon would be witness to the music that he heard, and felt in his very soul, as he howled his conquest to his blood red face. Tomorrow his hunger would be fed by the blood and flesh that he hungered for, and the world would know of his claim. Status: Abandoned

Poison Within, by Angelic Memories:

Posted On: Dokuga, FF.net    Rating: MA Summary: *Two-Shot* Due to a nasty bite Kagome is poisoned and fights for her life. Inuyasha can only think of one person who might be able to help her but there’s a problem he didn’t consider.

Secret Possession. By SakuraAngel1:

Posted On: Dokuga Rating: M Summary: Sesshoumaru is forced to put his mating plans into action a lot sooner than expected, and has Kagome kidnapped in order to fulfill it. When Kagome awakens, she finds herself as the new Lady of the Western Lands...with no Lord in sight… Status: Abandoned

Sleeping Beauty, by Catalina:

Posted On: Dokuga Rating: M Summary: Based loosely on the Disney movie, but darker and a bit twisted. Sesshoumaru is betrothed to a little human princess who is delivered a curse by the hanyou Naraku, Kikyo, Miroku, and Kaede agree to raise the child in safety. Smuts in final chapter. Status: Completed

Striking a Deal With the Devil, by Smortz:

Posted On:  Dokuga, FF.net,   Rating: M Summary: Does anything sound funner? Kagome needs help from the new Commissioner. A man that gave 'bad reputation' its standards. However, will Kagome be able to pay the price he demands when a life is on the line? Status: Completed

The Sacrifice, by Catalina:

Posted On: Dokuga   Rating: M Summary: Kagome is lured to a strange village, where she finds herself in an unpleasant situation. She is to be a sacrifice to an as yet unnamed youkai. Semi-non-consensual. Status: Completed

Trapped, Breeder, by sesshou_lover:

Posted on: Dokuga Rating: M Summary: N/A Status: Completed

Virginity of the Soul, by Madison

Posted on: Dokuga, FF.net, AO3 Rating: M Summary: Fresh from a betrayal that shattered her world, she was lured into getting even. Alas, the ones we trust and love aren’t always the ones we should. Semi-PWP. COMPLETE Staus: Complete

The Western Breeding, By Blackthorn:

Posted On: Dokuga, FF.net, Rating: M Summary: The end has come. Demons have found that certain humans can breed pure blooded demon pups. Sesshomaru is leading with Kagome running from the demon lord. Once she is at his side can she learn to love her captor for the sake of her unborn pup or find a way out? Status: Abandoned

RAPE LIST:

Blood Stained, by Madison: 

Posted On: Dokuga, FF.net, AO3  Rating: M Summary: COMPLETE! A sudden loss of control intertwined their fates. It dragged her through hell and he couldn't have cared less. She tried to escape her fears but the only way to do it was to face him through time and love.

Heat of Exchange, by Catalina: 

Posted On: Dokuga Rating: M Summary: It is that time of year for demon women, but Kagome is experiencing something very strange. Sesshoumaru arrives to help her, against her wishes. Freshly beta'd now.

Hell’s Shadows, by Catalina:

Posted On: Dokuga Rating: MA Summary: Formerly named "Ghost of Death" Sesshoumaru lives in hell requiring human women to increase his own power. Kagome falls into his waiting claws, while all of hell is turned upside down by her.DARK. NON CONSENSUAL.

His Wife, by Aries_heart: 

Posted On: Dokuga, FF.net, AO3,    Rating: MA Summary: "With a kiss on her shaking lips, he would leave for work and once the door was closed she would allow herself to cry once more. And then the cycle will repeat."

I Don’t Want a Mate, MLMonty: 

Posted On: Dokuga Rating: M Summary: Sesshoumaru goes into heat during mating season and rapes Kagome. Now she's pregnant and wants nothing to do with him. Should Sesshoumaru respect her wishes and leave her unguarded while she carries his heir?  Status: Abandoned 

Kagome’s Trust, by Fire_and_Earth_Sorceress55/Huntress-of-Flames-55:

Posted On: FF.net, AO3   Rating: M Summary: When Kagome is raped by Sesshomaru on the night of the new moon. Kagome goes home to the future as finds out that she is pregnant with pups? PUPS! Now one year later, she decides to go back to the feudal era.

Paper Cranes, by midori Haru: 

Posted On: FF.net  Rating: M Summary: Meeting, attraction, courting, commitment. For most of the world relationships form in the normal fashion from start to culmination. Naturally normal isn't enough for Sesshoumaru. And he wonders why he runs into problems trying to build a relationship from the wrong end.

Principal Life, by Catalina: 

Posted On: Dokuga Rating: M Summary: Kagome is dating the principal's brother, and he finds out about it. What can an untrained miko hope to accomplish when she is so ignorant of youkai mating traditions? Story is dark and now involves non consensual situations, with more to come. Status: Abandoned

Rise Again, by Catalina: 

Posted on: Dokuga   Rating: M Summary: Youkai have become weak and feeble but are attempting to strengthen their population. Sesshoumaru leads them, and discovers the solution to their problem in an unwilling human. VERY non-consensual stuff happens. Frequently.

S t a s i s, by wonderbug: 

Posted On: Dokuga, AO3  Rating: M Summary: Love, he tells her, as he trails a claw along the pathway of her shivering spine, is only a human notion. [VERY dark; drabble-ish CU/AR]

The Breeder, TexanLady: 

Posted On: Dokuga  Rating: M Summary: There is more to Kagome than anyone could ever imagine. After learning of her destiny Sesshoumaru swears to make her his at any cost. Once forced to his side can Kagome teach him to love or learn to love him. Status: Abandoned

[tastyliltina]

Delicious Discovery

Brief little story based off a commission I got from @princesaltines​!! It includes them and my naga boy Sunny~.  Leave a comment if you liked, thanks!

“Hey, Sunny.” Ollie blinked down at the small naga, raising a brow at his sudden appearance. A yellow tail dragged across their arm as Sunny slithered closer to them, mumbling a sleepy greeting. Ollie glanced down. When had been the last time he’d been this openly affectionate? 

“Hi…” Sunny’s voice was smaller, sleepier than usual. Ollie hummed, lowering their chin next to the slight weight against them, and they felt the slight tingle of Sunny’s purring against them. “You’re warm.” 

“Mmm,” they hummed. “You doing okay, lemon head?”

“Yeah,” Sunny shrugged. “Did some magic practice with Lance earlier today and he went a little haywire with the shrinking...already had Chris inside so he didn’t wanna squish me in there. Figured I’d come hang with you ‘til it wears off.”

Ollie nodded. They figured that had been the case. Lance was learning a lot from having the support of Chris and Sunny… But he was still a far cry from adept at magic. “You’re welcome to stay as long as you like, Sunny,” they murmured. “Hope you don’t mind me resting a bit...Tina’s out today and I wanted to lounge around.” 

Sunny shrugged again. Hell, he was probably thinking about taking a nap as well. Though...after a moment, Ollie lifted their head, peering down at the naga beneath them.  Normally, the scent of lemon wasn’t appetizing...but they hadn’t eaten in a while, and Sunny was just the right size…  They smirked.  Slowly, they lowered a hand, and wrapped their fingers around Sunny’s waist.  Sunny blinked, blinking blearily at them.  

“You know, heh…”  Ollie murmured, bringing Sunny closer to their face.  “I have a comfier place you’re welcome to rest in~.”

The ginger lifted a brow.  “Oh?”  A smirk pulled at his lips.  “And where would that be, big bad blueberry?

A bit of Ollie’s bravado faded.  Right, they’d forgotten one crucial detail...Sunny liked being eaten.  Their cheeks heated.  They’d gone too far now to give up, though, so without another word, Ollie opened their mouth.  Sunny’s head slid onto their tongue, drawing a purr from the back of their throat with the new flavors.  Sweet yet citrus-y tanginess spread throughout their mouth, and Ollie hummed as they slid Sunny further into them.  

Their tongue crept out after a moment, licking further down Sunny’s chest and torso.  As they’d gotten more used to being a pred, Ollie realized they prefered any friends to be good and slicked up before they were gulped down.  Removed a lot of stress and discomfort in the long run.  Besides, getting more of a taste was never a bad thing~.  Ollie slurped a bit more of Sunny into their mouth, almost ready to take their first swallow, until they felt something wriggle between their lips.  

“Mh?”  Ollie blinked, crossing their eyes to peer at the writing yellow mass beyond their mouth.  Their first instinct was to freeze, checking for any tastes of blood or other signs of injury.  When they found none, their concern only mounted.  Slowly, they traced their tongue over Sunny’s little form...but it only seemed to make the squirming worse.  They froze again, shifting their mouth a bit and listening for shouts of discomfort.  What they heard instead was much more surprising.  It was muffled, but...was that a laugh?

Ollie’s lips quirked.  A brow hiked up, curious as to what triggered Sunny to react in such a way.  They grinned, lifting their tongue to smoosh it against Sunny’s torso, trying to poke and prod around to find whatever had set the little noodle off.  When their tongue brushed a bit to the side, just before Sunny’s skin gave way to tail, Sunny bucked, a loud yet restrained laugh coming out.  Purring, Ollie set to continue licking at the spot, bemusedly watching the twitching, squirming tail as Sunny cackled and laughed.  

They relished in the feeling of the little squirms as long as they could stand, the only downside being a collection of drool gathering within their mouth.  Eventually, for Sunny’s sake as well as their own, Ollie tilted their head back and slurped, pulling Sunny further into their mouth, and into their throat.  They could feel his hands slip into their gullet, followed by his head and shoulders, and bought a hand to their neck as they swallowed again.  Gulp after gulp, the warm, wiggly weight of their friend slid further into their neck, chest, and eventually came to rest in their stomach.  

Ollie leaned their head back, sighing as they tugged the last of Sunny’s tail down their throat.  They were purring now, licking the last bit of lemony flavor from their mouth.  A hand slid over their middle, gently pressing in where they felt Sunny wiggling and squirming.  

“Hmm~,” they crooned, chuckling as they felt Sunny settle and relax.  “Comfy in there, lemon head?”  Even though he was squashed and sealed away in their middle, they could still hear and feel his heavy breathing.  Poor thing had lost his breath from all that laughing…~

“Ugh….cram….it…”  Sunny groaned.  Ollie chuckled, squishing their hand into their stomach.  Little hands and limbs shifted once more, until Sunny stilled again.  “Forgot...I was ticklish…”

“Ticklish?”  Ollie echoed, tilting their head.  They’d guessed as much, from the laughing and squirming.  “Huh…~”  That was something they’d have to file for later use…  

“Hey!”  Sunny cried, his squirmings starting anew.  “Don’t-don’t you get any bright ideas!  This isn’t gonna...it’s not gonna happen every time!”

“Oh, I’m sure it won’t....~”  Ollie snickered, giving their middle a pat as they stretched and relaxed once more.  “But...guess that means I’ll have to take advantage when it does, right?~”

The tiny groan from their middle was all the answer they needed.  They beamed, rolling onto their side with a hand draped over their swollen stomach.  Inside, Sunny seemed to settle down and relax like he normally did...despite, no doubt, planning his revenge for when he was back to full size.  Still, Ollie couldn’t help but grin at their new discovery, charting that away for a rainy day...or one they were lucky enough to catch Sunny so small again.  

[somekindofmasterpiece-blog]

1

I’ve found it quite difficult to open up. In a way that is perhaps not fleeting. I often find myself leaving out the intricate details of my innermost heart. My innermost thoughts as well. As though some things I’d rather just keep deep within myself. It makes me a little weary. Constantly shape shifting, molding, and re-tempering ones-self. I find myself caught between excitement and exhaustion. I am learning to better discern the matters of my lowers and my higher. To uncover that which tempts my heart into passionate creation and that which my bring me to madness. I’ve begun learning myself. 

Little things, like how I like to take my coffee: black, no sugar. Or how I like to make lists and I am always sure to add something to it I’ve already completed. Like ‘Make a List,’ ‘Wake Up,’ or ‘Pray.’ I like water a lot. It tastes different depending on the location or filtration. Plain soda water is of-the-God’s. I find it too easy to lie to myself,  the little things like ‘This cold coffee isn’t bitter and joyless.’ Then again we do create our own realities like ‘It serves the purpose of caffeinating and therefore a temporary spurt of motivation.’ Or maybe a little more energy to wipe up a table or serve someone who’s hell bent on seven lemons, no ‘thank you’s,’ and a whole lot of of unhappiness to unload on you. I fall in love a lot. I am in love with the notion of the very thing itself. I fall out of love just as easily, except for the places where I don’t. Especially when the love cannot maintain the nature of consumption I’ve somehow convinced myself is valuable. No one has ever been fascinated long enough to come in stay a while, hang your hat, get comfortable. And I often think about how long it took for me to take space in my own heart to settle in. I am just now becoming rooted in my own self-sustaining ecosystem. And I often too, think about how sick and tired I am of begging for love. 

Begging for anything really. When the obvious answer is to just slow down and be grateful- sometimes I find myself intent on doing just the opposite. It’s odd. Living with myself but not within my heart. I imagine many of us are living this way. Kind of floundering about. Listening to all the opinions of those around them. Allowing themselves to be guided by hands unfamiliar. Voices unknown. Doing just to do and living just to get by and satisfy some vague notion. The production of happiness. A great shimmering lie when sought through the direction of others. It makes you understand why people off themselves. I mean hell, can’t say I haven’t romanticized it. To say, see you in the next round, but this time I forfeit.

To me, if living is a nightmare then living in some shitty immortalized legacy is worse. All you’ve got are half-baked versions of yourself. Being mourned and analyzed by the world. All you’ve got to show for yourself are poems written about dick that you’d only paid any mind cause you were avoiding loving yourself. Playing out some tired ‘daddy didn’t love me like I needed’ narrative. What a wreck. What a waste of talent. Is that want you’d want to leave behind. The thought makes me shudder. Will there ever be a time I don’t feel this is true? Regardless of evolution? 

So, here I am learning to be honest with myself. I’m more honest to the world about my flaws than I am anything else. Like, I’m afraid of commitment. My too loud voice carries too far. My heart often seeks that which will break it. I am still learning to be soft. No matter how much I love you there will always be a part of me that longs to be apart from you, left to my own devices. I can be cruel and 99.99% of the time I don’t mean to be. But there is a part of me that carries my wounds in essence. All boiled down from every perceived wrong I’ve ever internalized, every spiteful comment I’d taken and twisted into my narrative, every time I wanted to stand up for myself but instead chose to silence myself. This part is tender. Pained. It revels in creating wounds of itself. Ones that go on and live their own lives in the hearts of others. 

It’s unfair to say and yet still just as true, my heart hurts for the pain that I’ve caused. As though each wound I’d carefully incised in the hearts and souls of others found a way to mirror themselves back to me. I have now learned that not everything can be controlled and most importantly that I am not the one to control things for anything other than my own behaviors and thoughts. Though I think sometimes my busy brain thinks it could and should. My brain, the nasty chair of the PTA who wears her aprons without wrinkles. She smiles, but her eyes don’t crinkle, and one ear is always peeled waiting to find something to destroy me. And therefore to destroy itself. God damn, even my brain wants to off itself. I suppose the universe knew what it was doing when it gave me a heart that refuses to quit. Cosmic jokes on jokes and yet they still wonder why I’m always laughing. 

I am turning 26 tomorrow. And I am just learning how to be a person. Autonomous. Outside of the expectations of others, even if I’ve been shaped by them. Even if I am grateful for the lessons, they have taught me. It’s taken me this long to learn that sometimes the best thanks you can give is living your truth and learning to give back in your own way. Things change as you get older. Like ticks, I used to be afraid of ticks. I’d rather let one live off of my blood, fattening and celebrating than confront the need to pull it out. Now, I’d rather just pull that sucker out as soon as possible and squash it dead. I used to want everyone to like me but now, I mostly want everyone to leave me alone. And to help them to see they can heal themselves too, but from a distance still, I’ll iron out those details later. 

I am turning 26 tomorrow and the best I’ve got is I’d rather not deal with people. I’m a regular Jung, Einstein, Marx or any of those other motherfuckers people can’t quite stop quoting. Yeah, that’s me some kind of masterpiece. 

[suchawonderfullife]

Day 9-10: Weird symptoms, food sensitivities and the four quadrants of healing.

The photo above is all my supplements to date. You’ll see it’s grown significantly since the last photo of these were posted. I’ll explain them in more detail shortly. I have now ended my second week of treatment at Hansa. Most patients do a 2 week program and then return home with an ongoing program until their check-up, which they recommend you do within 3 months of your first visit. You need to go back for a tune-up to get the most benefit. For me, I’m doing 4 weeks of treatment because I have travelled internationally and I requested this, I also can’t return to the clinic until 5 months after this visit. But I’ll be looking forward to seeing my progress and then tackling the next things on my list of problems when I return, so that my recovery is ongoing. You cannot expect to get well from a few weeks in a clinic and simply return to your normal life. Coming to Hansa is like giving your body a huge jump-start towards recovery, but a lot of the work needs to be done once you return home (and that’s common sense). 

I’ve had a rollercoaster of a week. As I wrote in previous entries, it started with some craziness from the fascia treatment done to my brain. It then transitioned to significant liver and spleen pain, lethargy and fatigue. My Dr had to back me off some of the in-house detox therapies to give my organs a break. I missed 3 therapies in one day to give my body a rest. The next day I was supposed to miss those 3 treatments again. However, I woke up feeling only tired and no pain, so I was keen to get back into the centre and back into the therapies. I rang the front desk and asked them to ask my Dr if he could put the therapies he took off, back onto my program. He put 2 of the 3 therapies back on, so I went in earlier than I was scheduled to get them under way. Unfortunately the PEMF caused my stomach strife again and I had also developed a new, scary symptom. Twice that morning I went to the bathroom and saw blood in my stools. It was enough to go “oh wow, yup that’s definitely blood!” 

Being a little freaked out, I was trying to work out who to tell in the clinic to get them to talk to my Dr. My appointment with him wasn’t until 2pm so I didn’t know how serious this was and if I should stop therapies until I see him. Luckily I found him standing outside his office and told him what was going on. He told me to just skip sauna as we didn’t want to create more circulation in my body and he wasn’t too alarmed. 

So in my appointment he explained that the blood in my stools is a symptom he has seen in some patients before. Because parasites are my number 1 problem, a die off of parasites can sometimes cause this issue. He explained that parasites leech onto the intestinal walls and they feed off blood. So a pocket of them may have been killed off, releasing their suction and thus some blood to come out. He told me signs to watch out for that would mean it is serious and I would need to go the hospital, but he really didn’t think it would get to that. He just told me it was best to stop sauna and PEMF for now and to keep an eye on it. (It’s been 2 days since that appointment and I no longer have any signs of blood, so this is good!)

My Dr has put me on a few new remedies as well. One is a concoction of b6 and b12. My blood tests showed I was very low in either b6, b9 or b12. His bioreasonance testing showed that b9 was not an issue, but the other 2 were. I have b12 injections daily, but he is trying to take me off injections because of the significant amount of scar tissue it is creating on my stomach. Now with this remedy, I do not need b12 injections. 

He also made me a topical remedy for empathy. This may sound weird, however if you are chronically ill I’m sure you’ll relate. Most people that are chronically ill are empaths. That means we feel other people’s energies and emotions as if it were our own. We are highly sensitive and often care deeply for others. My Dr said “if I was an empath, I would be on that table just as sick as you.” Meaning he would be absorbing the energies of all his sick patients. He said “there are 3 types of people: sponges, projectors and neutrals.” Obviously my Dr is a neutral, and so is my partner as his energy helps keep me grounded. I am a sponge because I easily absorb other people’s energies and take on their worries. He talked about sick people often being sponges or projectors. Where there are the types that hide their illness and people really never know how sick they truly are (he said that’s what I do) and then there are projectors who will openly tell you about the horrible symptoms they’ve had that day in great detail, in an attempt to seek sympathy. We all know people in our lives that like, who vent or unload their worries. Yet these people are toxic for me. 

I was saying to him about having a sick relative back home right now that was causing me some worry. They became ill a week before I left to come here and my mum is the one taking care of them whilst they recover. I talked about worrying about my mum, although she is strong and often stoic, I wonder how she copes with something so difficult and upsetting. My Dr said that my mum and I would be “linked” and that it would be normal for me to feel worry for her. But feeling the worry of others is not good for me. So he created a remedy with essential oils, through his scanning method and that my body responded well to, to cope with being so empathic. Twice a day I have to rub a drop of this mixture on my sternum. 

-FOOD SENSITIVITIES-

In my appointment yesterday we went through food sensitivities. This was a little shocking. My dr explained that all foods have an energy/frequency. Being intolerant to a food isn’t about the food itself, but my bodies ability to process/understand that foods particular frequency (that’s how I remember it in my head anyway). When I started seeing my CFS Dr 8 years ago, I was tested for food sensitivities and tested positive to: Gluten, dairy (casein not lactose), fructose, soy, rye, eggs, melons, celery and durum wheat. I thought that was a long and annoying list to work with. Now my health is better, I simply try to avoid gluten, dairy and onions (other fructose seems fine). 

Here is the list of food sensitivities my Dr. diagnosed me with yesterday:  Saccharine, banana, carrots, red wine, prawns, oregano, sugar, chocolate, wheat and gluten, nitrates, beer, halibut, dates, corn, coffee, lobster, grapefruit, eggs, onion, salmon, olives, tofu, oranges, goats cheese, lemon, asparagus, strawberries, alfalfa, yellow squash, beet greens, blueberries, red delicious apples, star anise, walnuts, tangerine, almonds, papaya and cream cheese.  Now for my list of EMOTIONAL food sensitivities:  Sesame seeds, oregano, chicken, coconut, american cheese, honey, peaches, cinnamon, feta cheese, brussel sprouts, cheddar cheese, green beans, raspberries and snow peas. 

Like holy shit right? And what are emotional food sensitivities you ask? I thought exactly the same thing. My Dr explained it like this, “see how sesame seeds came up for you. One time you ate a burger with sesame seeds on the bun, the burger made you sick and you threw it up and you may have seen the sesame seeds come back up. Now your brain has a bad reaction to sesame seeds when you eat it.” Something like that anyway. When he read all these out to me, I thought “am I seriously not supposed to eat all this now?” But that’s not the case at all. As he explained earlier, it is about my bodies inability to interpret the energy of the food properly. So what he can do is give me specific remedies that somehow teach my body to interpret these foods the right way and I can eat them again. I simply take the remedies, do not eat any of these foods for 24 hours and then I can eat them again. He said I have to still avoid gluten, dairy and sugar, but everything else on the list will be fine to eat. He did this already with my medications that came up as toxic or allergic. He gave me remedies to counter act my bodies inability to process these correctly, tried the medications on me a few days later and they no longer came up as toxic or allergic. 

So that was really cool to learn! Yesterday he also took me off my magnesium injections too. I get severe black bruising on my stomach from how big the needles are to inject this daily and it is now incredibly painful to do. He said my body certainly needs a lot of magnesium, so my Dr back home wasn’t wrong in prescribing injections considering my body cannot absorb nutrients from my digestive system very well. So I’m taking 6 magnesium tablets a day and he has come up with a solution to help my body absorb nutrients better. 

He drew a diagram of my stomach and the start of my small intestine and explained that when you drink something, it passes straight through the stomach, into the small intestine. When you eat something, this triggers a message in the brain which tells the stomach to “close” and a little trap door between the stomach and small intestine closes to help the hydrochloric acid in the stomach have time to break up the food. For a healthy person, the level of hydrochloric acid in the stomach should fill around half your stomach. Therefore, when you eat, majority of the food is covered and starts to get broken down (this is not necessarily biologically correct, it is simply how it was explained to me in a way I can understand and how I’ve remembered it). For me, the level of hydrochloric acid in my stomach is around 1/4 of what it should be, therefore when the food enters my stomach, it barely gets broken down and enters my intestine still fully formed, making it hard for my body to absorb any of its vital nutrients. 

To counteract this, my Dr has given me hydrochloric acid tablets. But simply taking these when the volume of liquid in my stomach containing the acid is so low, would be a little pointless. What I have to do is this: Every meal I have I must take a few bites of food (to trigger that signal for that trap door to my small intestine to close), then drink a large glass of water with 1 teaspoon of apple cider vinegar (with the mother- the gunky stuff in the bottom of the bottle) mixed in, take 1 hydrochloric acid tablet and then continue eating. Hopefully this will help my body break down food and absorb nutrients better. 

-THE FOUR QUADRANTS OF HEALING-

Lastly, something that was really cool that happened this week, was one of the Drs gave a lecture on a topic of their choice. They do this every 2 weeks, it gets filmed and uploaded to youtube and their website. The talk this week was from a Dr talking about “the four quadrants of healing.” This was very interesting and I felt grateful to be there to take it all in. This Dr talked about how you cannot heal without being mindful of working on these four parts of your life: The “I” (your personality, ego, emotional aspect and something called ego maturity), the “It” (your body, physiology and biology. What most Dr’s focus solely on but it is merely one aspect of healing), the “We” (cultural/ environmental aspect. How you relate to those around you), and the “Its” (physical environment- trees, water, sunshine, air etc). 

With the “I” aspect he talked about: - The benefits of tapping and emotional freedom technique (I’ve had a kinesiologist tell me this as well).  - Doing shadow work. This is working on the parts of yourself you don’t want to see. What we find irritating in others is often traits that are in our “shadow.”  - Question that little voice in your head. We all have a running dialogue. Pay attention to it and often question it to help limit its power.  - Brain dumping. This means to list everything you think about. Especially before bed if you struggle to sleep due to your brain not shutting off. Write down just words relating to each thought, don’t make it into a diary.  - Self-discovery. Work out your personality and your values.  With the “It” aspect I didn’t take notes on this (I got distracted). But this was basically about healing the body physically, what we usually focus on when we are sick and what medical doctors will solely focus on. Remember that this is one aspect, not the whole picture. 

The “We” quadrant, he discussed the following:  - “Weing into healing” is a term he used.  - Knowing what your love language is and understanding the love language of those around you. Google it if you don’t know what it is- very handy.  - He recommended a book by John Gottman on working on relationships and your marriage. If your romantic relationship isn’t working or you are not happy, this is something important to work on for your health.  - Intentionally designing your tribe. This mean picking those you interact with and have relationships with. Do not have relationships out of obligation. Cut people from your life who are not good for you.  - Hand pick your support network. Surround yourself with those who support you. 

The “Its” quadrant, he discussed the following:  - Think about what the best natural environment is for humans to thrive and flourish. Clean air, sunshine, being out in nature etc.  - Are you living in a moldy house or sick building? Sometimes moving to get well is something you have to do.  - Poor lighting (I can’t remember why this was important). - Clean vs. clutter. A clean environment is incredibly beneficial as clutter can affect your mental clarity and increase stress.  - EMR/EMF’s increases brain fog.  - Be mindful of the energetic balance and design of your environment (feng shui). 

He ended the lecture by stating that we should be “integrally informed.” This means to simply be aware of each quadrant of healing, make note of any deficiencies in those quadrants and begin to work on them. He also said you can look up “integral theory” on wikipedia and there is a book called “Integral vision.” 

-MEETING DR. JERNIGAN-

I have finished my week on a high. My friends I made at the clinic who started treatment when I did, have now gone home to continue their wellness journey. I was sad to say goodbye and a new influx of patients will start this Monday. I feel incredibly grateful to be given extra time at the clinic, as my friends were anxious and sad to go home and expressing how much they wish they could have extra time like I was getting. Most of these patients are from the USA, so 2 weeks is the standard, but it does go very fast. Hansa is also like this little “wellness bubble” where you feel so safe, understood and supported. I understand the apprehension to leave that space and I will be feeling as they did in 2 weeks time. That is a testament to the clinic. 

I also feel incredibly fortunate and privileged to have met Dr. Jernigan on Friday. He is retired but is the founder of Hansa, created the bioreasonance scanning and treatment protocol. I heard he pops in from time to time and it was a shock to see him walk into the carer’s lounge and warmly talk to everyone. We took a photo with him and I was able to chat to him briefly. I came to Hansa because of all the information he so openly shares. I’ve read his blogs, articles, watched his lectures on youtube, he did a 2 hour interview a month ago that I listened to before I came here. They’re all brilliant and incredibly informative. He has books too for those who cannot come to the clinic. What an incredibly brilliant, intelligent and remarkable man he is. You can tell his passion for healing others comes from a good place. 

[fashiontrendin-blog]

What Your Choice Of Fragrance Says About You

http://fashion-trendin.com/what-your-choice-of-fragrance-says-about-you/

What Your Choice Of Fragrance Says About You

Like your clothes, your favourite tipple or your most played on Spotify, your choice of fragrance says a lot about the type of man you are. “Because the sense of smell leads us straight to that part of the brain that deals with our emotions, completely bypassing rationale, you might say our choice of fragrance leaves us stripped emotionally naked,” says James Craven, Fragrance Archivist at Les Senteurs, London’s oldest independent perfumery.

It’s because of this link that it’s almost impossible to pick a fragrance without bringing a lifetime of baggage to the table. “A man will wear a fragrance that’s comfortable for him and that choice is often a reflection of his experience as well as his personality,” says Sarah McCartney, perfumer and founder of 4160 Tuesdays – a brand whose evocative and quirky fragrances are all about tapping into memories. “It’s rare that a guy chooses a marine scent if he doesn’t enjoy swimming in the sea, for example, because we’re drawn to scents that we recognise and to things that feel familiar.”

This is why perfumers often keep in mind a profile of the type of man they’re mixing for and why Dior chose Johnny Depp as the face of its Sauvage campaign: the mission is to match the fragrance notes to the man, so as to perfectly reflect his personality and spirit.

But as well as reflecting personality, Craven reckons a lot of men use fragrance to project a personality they may not actually have. “I suspect that men often choose a scent to compensate for some perceived deficiency in their character: like picking a brutishly virile scent if they doubt their masculinity,” he says. “Others are shy of revealing their real selves by choosing something outré and so hide behind an ‘approved’, mainstream fragrance which doesn’t reveal too many secrets.”

But, even by doing this you’re still revealing something about your character, because when it comes to fragrance, you really are what you wear. “In a nutshell, just like a handshake, or a signature, scent is an extension of a man’s ‘soul’,” says acclaimed British perfumer Roja Dove.

Not only does what you wear speak volumes about who you are, but according to McCartney how much you wear says a lot too. “Overconfident men will wear a bucket load of fragrance, whereas the quietly confident ones opt for just enough so that you need to get close to appreciate it – a good move in my book,” she says. As always, less is more.

She also believes in being true to yourself when picking a fragrance. “Quentin Crisp used to say ‘One should never wear a hat with more personality than oneself’ and I think the same applies to fragrance,” she says. “Your personality should never lag behind your perfume.”

So could the fact that you prefer Dior’s Eau Sauvage to Tom Ford’s Oud Wood really be more revealing about your personality than a Rorschach Test? Here are our notes on notes.

Citrus

Citrus-based fragrances like Clinique Happy For Men, Tom Ford’s Neroli Portofino, Atelier Cologne’s Bergamote Soleil and Dior’s iconic Eau Sauvage are mainstays of many men’s fragrance rotations, in part because they evoke clean, sharp, energetic freshness. “In my experience it’s the sporty ones who pick citrus fragrances,” says McCartney. “They’re the competitors – runners, squash players, cyclists, men who aren’t afraid of fluorescent trainers and a bit of body-sculpting Lycra!” (The latter for sporting pursuits only, of course.)

You may also be subconsciously drawn to them for their therapeutic benefits. “Citrus notes really do wake you up, but they also give a good balance between refreshment and calm,” she says – an observation backed up by a study by Northumbria University, which found that the smell of lemon balm can improve both mood and cognitive performance.

Gourmand

Fragrances that take their cue from food and feature notes like chocolate, vanilla, cinnamon and coffee have become increasingly popular in recent years. And if you like the ‘edible’ quality of scents like Thierry Mugler’s heady A*Men, Gaultier’s Le Male, Tom Ford For Men Extreme or Parfumerie Generale’s caramel- and hazelnut-laced Aomassai, chances are you’re an unashamed sensualist. “Men who go for gourmand fragrances tend to be sensual, hedonistic, sexually adventurous types with enquiring minds,” says Craven.

Particularly popular are fragrances featuring vanilla. “Andy Tauer’s new Vanilla Flash by Tauerville is going down a storm with blokes right now,” he says. Vanilla, of course, has long been thought of as a psychogenic aphrodisiac so if you’re a fan, chances are, you spray to play, you dirty devil you.

Wood

There’s a reason woody fragrances like Gucci Pour Homme, Terre d’Hermès and Davidoff Horizon are so popular with men: they’re seen as representing a solid, reliable and easy-going kind of masculinity. “Woody scents are often asked for by married men accompanied by their wives,” says Craven. They’re also favoured by ‘men’s men’ partly because they’re so popular with other men, re-enforcing their general acceptability.

But when you choose a woody fragrance over all others, there could be something else – something a little more ancient – at work too: “Woody scents like Lorenzo Villoresi’s dense, opulent Sandalo take us right back to the way our forefathers perfumed themselves at the altars of the old gods,” says Craven. “There’s something of the Green Man and The Sacred Grove about them.”

Marine

Like clean, fresh aquatic or ‘marine’ fragrances that have a faint whiff of the ocean and salt spray about them? Then you might be a minimalist at heart, someone who appreciates simplicity and design that’s both elegant and uncomplicated.

“Modern-day aquatic fragrances were born out of the likes of L’Eau d’Issey Pour Homme, Kenzo Pour Homme and CK One,” says Moore. “These were the minimal, bracing and fresh fragrances of the 1990s. They’re still as popular as ever today and suggest a minimalist attitude and an aspiration of purity.”

Oriental

What message do ‘oriental’ fragrances like Opium Pour Homme, Gucci Envy For Men, YSL’s M7 and Dolce & Gabbana’s The One Gentleman – which are full of exotic spices, resins and sweet vanilla – put across? In a word: hedonist.

“The man who wears this kind of fragrance stays right until the end of the party, and never leaves the table without eating dessert,” says McCartney.

“Orientals seem to attract ‘Yeah, bring it on!’ types.” This may be partly because so many of them feature sensual vanilla notes, exotic, daring spicy ones, smoky ones and boozy ones, too. “We’re basically talking lickable, smokeable, drinkable,” she says.

Floral

It takes a certain type of man to carry off floral fragrances like Byredo’s Rose of No Man’s Land, Dior Homme and Papillon’s Tobacco Rose: one who’s bold, self-confident and at home in his own skin and with his sexuality.

“Men who love florals are – like gourmand-lovers – adventurous and uninhibited, aesthetes and sophisticates, eager lovers of unusual sensations,” says Craven.

Of all the floral notes, rose is the one men go for most. “The scent was always popular with men in ancient civilisations and with modern Arab cultures and is becoming increasingly popular with Western males especially when blended with leather, woody or tobacco notes,” he says. “Men are still not keen on powdery, petally or jammy rose on the whole – they prefer the dark, woody, earthy roses: and those notes reflect drama and strength.”

Oud

A mainstay of Middle Eastern perfumery, rich, warm and smoky oud (or agarwood as it’s also known), is at the core of fragrances like Tom Ford’s Oud Wood, Boss Bottled Oud and Roja Parfum’s particularly extravagant Musk Aoud.

“Real oud is one of perfumery’s most expensive ingredients, so the kind of man who wears it is very self-assured,” says Dove. “They don’t need to shout and they have nothing to prove. Oud delivers a promise of success and inner strength.”

Sport Scents

Specially created ‘sport’ fragrances like Paul Smith’s Extreme Sport are a fixture of the men’s fragrance market now while others, like Paco Rabanne’s Invictus, are sport fragrances in all but name. Spicy and uplifting, they’re designed to be an adrenaline rush, bottled.

“By opting for a sport fragrance, a man might be saying he embodies the associated lifestyle: active, aspiring and hard-working,” says Liam Moore, founder of fragrance magazine ODOU. “Though not a hard and fast rule, these qualities are at least suggested in the notes of a sports fragrance, which tend to stick to a rough formula of citrus/gingery notes at the top, something woody or herbal in the middle and a musk or amber base.”

According to Moore, both Dior Homme Sport and L’Eau d’Issey Pour Homme Sport are all-time classic fragrances – proving that sport fragrances can be sophisticated and considered – but you’re probably going to need to look like an athlete rather than just smell the part if you want to impress. “Don’t be fooled by the marketing,” says Moore. “Women won’t fall at your feet like they do with Nick Youngquest in the Invictus advert.”

Boutique

The kind of guy who likes to wear a luxury boutique fragrance like Shay & Blue’s Blood Oranges, 4160 Tuesdays’ Invisible Ben or Roja Parfums’ Enigma Pour Homme is no different from the one who gets a kick out of drinking boutique ales: he appreciates originality, quirkiness and a high level of craftsmanship.

“Many perfumes smell the same and lack authenticity or integrity because they’re anonymous products churned out in factories in their millions,” says Dominic De Vetta, founder of London-based fragrance house Shay & Blue.

“A boutique point of view means personal passion. It means a concern for detail and craftsmanship and the man who buys one knows what makes it good and wears it with the same kind of pride with which he wears a bespoke Savile Row suit.” In a nutshell, wear one and you let others know you’re more connoisseur than mainstream consumer.

[vivianrhopper85]

Most Unusual Restaurants in Toronto: Figures

These are the figures that shaped us is scrawled above the secret entrance to what has to be one of the coolest theme restaurants in the city. These figures the wall speaks of are comic book characters, cartoon personalities, movie idols, and pen & ink superheroes which adorn every corner of the space. As someone who grew up with X-Men comics, well-worn Star Wars videotapes, and Wonder Woman action figures, this spot has been on my list of must-sees since it opened back in early 2017.

Situated up Avenue Road near Davenport, it's a bit of a wander outside the usual Yorkville bubble but for those itching for fancy cocktails, posh bites, and some stunning decor you will rarely find anywhere else, Figures is worth the trip. Owners and brothers Nader and Patrick Marzouk have created this upscale Yorkville homage to youth--specifically what really shaped us into the people we are now--to draw people in and remind them where they come from in a way that steers away from cheap sentimentality and elevates those influences to nostalgic art.

Atmosphere & Décor

The decor is clearly where Figures draws the most attention. If it wasn't for such detail, there is no way this resto-lounge would have made as much of a splash. From the small speak-easy styled entrance, to pressing the Captain America shield to open a door to the rest of the space, to the massive and mostly monochrome mural of a cacophony of characters and Pac-Man on the ceiling, Figures is about packing as many memories into one small fine-dining space as possible. Blink and you'll miss the Millennium Falcon and Death Star near the door. Nothing about the atmosphere is subtle. You are there to be immersed in nostalgia, not to take a glance and carry on with your meal.

The only possible concern about the space is that the interior is dark, very dark even at 5:30 in the afternoon during October. There seem to be sections that are purposely very dark. It clearly leans more towards the lounge end of resto-lounge. Music early in the evening was a good level and conversation was very easy.

Menu Range

After spending time in southern Spain in the birthplace of tapas cuisine, I'm always a bit hesitant when anyone in Canada mentions the word "tapas" in relation to their menu. Sadly, Figures falls into this strange idea that the only thing authentic tapas requires is small plates that you can share. I can't quite wrap my head around the idea of a single tapa costing $32 and being entrée-sized. Just because you offer side-plates and suggest sharing doesn't make something tapas. One can hardly blame Figures for the confusion however since it's a common misconception all over North America.

That said, the menu is limited but covers a fair selection of dishes From The Earth (vegetables), From The Sea (seafood), and From The Land (meat). Each section has 5 options rounding it out a nice 15 items in total.

At the top of the menu is the earth, consisting of various in-season vegetables from heirloom beets, to cauliflower with truffle, to a pasta of the day, all ranging from $16 to $26. The seafood selections range from halibut to scallops to shrimp, with the cheapest being $26 and the most expensive swordfish at $38. Finally, there are the options for carnivores. It only makes sense that the heaviest dishes sit at the bottom of the menu, also with the highest price tags starting at $30. With the usual offerings of lamb and beef, those patrons willing to step slightly outside a typical farm are also rewarded with Muscovy duck and venison, the former at $32 and the latter hitting $52.

Dessert has an excellent range of choices for anyone with a sweet tooth. At $12 is the ice-cream sampler. Following from that are doughnuts, tarts, and the real star of the dessert section: do-it-yourself s'mores for $18 per person! An artisanal cheese plate rounds out the offerings for $24.

Appetizers

There are really no such thing as appetizers at Figures. As our server stated, the plates are meant as tapas and are quite small. The closest things are the vegetables. As a huge fan of beets, I decided that my choice would obviously be my favourite root vegetable friends. My companion chose the foraged mushrooms. Both dishes were a decent size for the price and clearly made for sharing, even if the literal size of the plates crowded the small table. It would be hard to make me dislike a beet dish and this did not disappoint. There was a beet tartare with puree and French cheese garnish, a golden beet carpaccio with spiced pecans, and a beet puree smear. The tartare, although tasty, was lacking a bit of creativity and didn't really taste like anything I couldn't make myself. However, the golden beets with the nuts really appealed to me. The thin slices, the sweet taste, with the satisfying crunch and heat of the pecans really made the dish. The puree seemed like an afterthought only added to make the plate look good. It didn't add anything taste-wise as everything was already very "beet-y".

The star of the entire meal really was the foraged mushrooms. Again, it's difficult to significantly ruin mushrooms but some dishes are better than others. This was definitely one of the better ones in my life. Something of note is the lack of information given on the menu itself. My friend ordered the mushrooms not realising that it's actually in a pastry tart shell. A word of caution: For someone with any allergy at all, especially gluten sensitivity, dairy, or nut allergy, make sure to check with your server about what each dish actually is. There are whole components that are completely left off the menu. The pastry was excellently prepared, the tarragon and lemon curd sauce garnish added a great zing to the mushrooms, which were full of a savoury earthiness. Texture was clearly important as well and the crispy tart complemented the chewy chanterelles and oyster mushrooms perfectly.

Main Course

For our "mains", I chose the U/10 scallops and my friend picked the server's suggestion of Muscovy duck. The scallops could have easily just been a starter as well, but for $34 I expected more. The plate consisted of 3 scallops on a puree of sweet potato, with some seared and diced sweet potato and a spattering of half a single stalk of sliced asparagus. It was an easily shareable dish but not worth the price tag. Even though the scallops themselves were simply beautifully cooked, they were not worth $10 a piece. The same issue I found with the beets came back here: a redundancy of the accompanying ingredients. I'm not sure I understand the point of a sweet potato puree with diced sweet potato when there are so many other options that are also in-season, although it did look very pretty. It would be nice to mix it up a little. Maybe celeriac and sweet potato? Something other than double sweet potato. What tiny little bit of asparagus I found was a nice crispy addition but far too meagre.

Where the scallop dish was tiny and uncreative, the Muscovy duck was quite a surprise, literally. As mentioned in the previous section, you never know what you're actually going to get when a plate comes out. Maybe it will be just as described on the menu. Maybe it will have a whole other half that isn't mentioned at all! For the Muscovy duck dish, there was a wonderfully rare breast drizzled in a delicious, light gravy... and then a large helping of sweetbreads (which seemed undercooked to our taste), and a pate of foie gras mixed with something else that we could not name. Had my companion known the dish came with foie gras, she said she would not have ordered it as she has a moral aversion to it, especially since Figures gives no indication of the sourcing of any of their ingredients. I too refuse to eat foie gras. Furthermore, sweetbreads are not generally something you should surprise people with. Not everybody is cool with eating a pancreas or thymus gland. Personally, I find it unacceptable for a restaurant to just surprise guests with anything they like when the menu states duck, blood orange, and sage only. Interestingly, the sage could not be tasted at all. She called the dish a "mess". In terms of value, the sweetbreads and foie gras certainly made the dish much more of an entrée than an appetizer and the price made slightly more sense.

Dessert

There is a strange inconsistency in the dishes at Figures and that comes out in the desserts as well. The cones are priced for what seems like a reasonable $12 until you find out you get about 4 tablespoons of ice-cream in tiny little cones. There is nothing special about these. I expected that they would be adorned with some fun superhero or comic-themed decorations. That was not the case at all as you can see by the photos. The flavours were not particularly noteworthy either consisting of chocolate, vanilla, lychee, and what was meant to be coconut but tasted like a repeat of chocolate again.

However, the s'mores for only $6 more were huge! One person gets 3 s'mores, complete with handmade butternut squash marshmallows, graham crackers, 4 types of chocolate, a selection of greenhouse fruits, and caramel sauce. This was more of the type of dish I expected from Figures. The chocolate pieces were formed in spaceships and the Joker. The best part is they bring a small firepit to the table and you can roast your own marshmallows and put together the s'mores yourself, any way you'd like. It was a great end to the meal and very filling. Exactly the type of fun thing that someone would expect from an establishment that draws so much inspiration from childhood and youth.

Drink Options

Clearly, Figures is dedicated to the boozier side of the business. They have a huge wine list and a very extensive cocktail menu, with 10 comic-inspired choices, as well as 10 classics with a twist. My companion went with the Dumb Grandson Pep Talk, a vodka-based cocktail with a cute flower garnish. I took the server's advice when I asked for the "coolest looking drink" and went with her informed suggestion of the Johnny Blaze. It is fantastic if you enjoy scotch, or if you just like a little bit of a smoke show before you drink.

If you are looking for something involving fire instead of smoke, the Maleficent is the best choice and if you want some foam art, check out the Rarely on Target which features a stormtrooper's head.

These comic book and action hero cocktails all range from $17 to $21 and feature anywhere from 1.5 to 2.25 ounces of premium liquors.

The classic cocktails are high-quality versions of many of the most popular offerings at many other bars and cocktail lounges. These again range from $16 to $19 for 2 to 3 ounces of liquor. At the very end of the cocktail menu is another feature: Zombie Punch which includes 3 rums and absinthe! It's $30 for 2 glasses and looks as good as it sounds.

Like all fine dining establishments, Figures sports an exhaustive wine list with 22 reds on offer mainly from California, Chile, France, Italy and Spain. This is followed by 10 fine red wines from all over the world. Be aware that just one bottle of Italian Merlot from this list will set you back $3,100. These are not wines for amateurs. 12 white wines from Canada, USA, France, Italy and more round off the list.

At the end of your meal, there is a digestif menu as well with lovely selections such as cognacs, absinthe, grappa, port, and if you're really looking to splurge, Hennessy Paradis.

If you're out to drink to impress in Yorkville, you'll feel right at home in Figures.

Service

From the lovely and welcoming hostess who explained the history of the artwork in the foyer to our excellent and prompt server, Zoe, we found everyone was very knowledgeable and friendly. Zoe knew just what we were looking for and at one point, someone who may have been a manager was very instrumental in helping me decide which desserts would look best in photographs! Although a bit slow between dishes, the entire night went smoothly and no issues were had. What I particularly enjoyed was the attitude of everyone working there. When going out in Yorkville, you never know if you're going to end up uncomfortable in a snooty upscale eatery or in a relaxed, yet still posh-enough, watering hole. I can safely say that Figures is not at all pretentious when it comes to customer service. Everyone is treated well and kindly and that alone may be a reason to come here for a few late night drinks if you're in the area.

Feeling Afterwards

Immediately after the meal, I walked out satisfied enough but not particularly full. The price of the mostly small dishes was something of a stumbling block for really getting a proper full stomach. Within an hour of leaving, I was hungry again and grabbed a snack on the way home. Figures appears to suffer a bit of an identity crisis as there's something just slightly strange about a geek-inspired lounge selling $2000 bottles of wine with $52 venison tapas as opposed to other comic book-inspired ventures like the very casual Bam! in the Beach neighbourhood, or Action Burger in Brooklyn, NY. There are some things that Figures does exceptionally well and others where it only reaches the mediocre level. The misunderstanding of tapas, the inconsistent pricing, the surprise additions to the menu, and the lack of anything really creative or integrated into the theme on the menu all lead to questions about the quality of my overall experience. However, if you are aware that you are not going to get superb bang for your buck and the food is not on the same level as many other fine dining restaurants in the area, but you love exceptional ambience, decor, and want fun cocktails with some nostalgia mixed in, you will definitely have a good time here.

  Everybody wants to make a difference, but nobody is willing to be different

Príspevok, ktorý zdieľa FIGURES (@figurestoronto), Sep 11, 2017 o 2:07 PDT

VL00KV

from News And Tip About Real Estate https://jamiesarner.com/toronto-restaurant-reviews/figures/

[kevinmoyer]

Samantha & Christophe | Vineyard Wedding at Annadel Estate

After nearly nine years of blogging, we have some real gems in our archives, and it seemed a shame to think they might be buried by newer posts! So we’re dusting off our favorites…

Samantha and Christophe’s July wedding in Northern California’s wine country was romantic, elegant, and modern, all at the same time. And the color! Says the bride, “We wanted our wedding to be full of life and color, and we were inspired by the natural beauty of summer at Annadel, so we tried to embody that in our “citrus and herbs” color scheme: blood orange, ruby red grapefruit, lemon yellow, grass greens.”

 Says Samantha, “Our wedding was a coming together of Taiwanese, Americans, and French. And in France, the civil (and official) wedding is always separate and held in city hall, where the mayor is present and the couple signs the official marriage certificate in the presence of friends, family and the state. To signal to all our French guests that our wedding ceremony in the winery ruins of Annadel was official and legitimate, we (and our witnesses and officiant) signed our official marriage certificate during the ceremony, to replicate the French civil ceremony. We also included bits and pieces from California and French civil code within our ceremony.” The custom tent canopy was designed by Shannon Leahy, and created by Wine Country Party & Events. The youngest guests enjoyed their own special table, plus a croquet game set up on the lawn.

Samantha and Christophe are total foodies, and their menu reflected that passion (see the full delicious menu at the end of the post).   Says Samantha, “In a typical Taiwanese wedding, the bride changes outfits several times throughout the reception. Although I only changed once, I did change into an amazing bright red (lucky color in Chinese) Oscar de la Renta gown that I found the week before the wedding.”

Why did you choose this location for your wedding?  We knew we wanted to get married in California’s wine country, not only because we both love great wine and good food but also because the wine country has become a special place for us as residents of the Bay Area. We probably visited every single wine country wedding venue in Napa and Sonoma counties, and we chose Annadel because the grounds were magical, from the old winery ruins to the barn. It was authentic, natural, and beautiful, without being pretentious and stuffy. It was also important to us that we could bring in our own wines, since the wines we served at the wedding would be a very personal choice for us. At the end of the day, we chose Annadel because we knew we could create a personal wedding experience in a stunning environment.

What inspired you when you were planning your wedding?  We knew that we wanted our wedding to be elegant and beautiful, but at the same time modern, and, most importantly, true to us as a couple. We were inspired by delicious local food and wine. I love fruit, and my mom is in the fruit export business, so she sourced seasonal California fruits that we incorporated all throughout the wedding weekend: nectarines, plums and cherries filled our welcome bags, and fruit was used as décor throughout the wedding. We also had local pasture-raised pig and lamb roasted on spits, because we love the concept of farm to table eating, and knew our French and Chinese guests would love it too. We sourced only domestic American cheeses, so that the cheese-loving French guests could see just how good artisanal American cheese can be. Wine was from Sonoma and Santa Cruz counties from some of our favorite local producers. We had a beautiful linen canopy structure built by Wine Country Rentals so that the Chinese guests would have shade during dinner. Everything we did held a little bit of meaning to us, or to our friends and family, so I guess you can say the people and things we love inspired us!

What was your favorite moment or part of the day?  For both of us, our favorite moment of the day was when we said our vows to one another and promised to be husband and wife forever.

What was the best advice you received as a bride?  Don’t confuse your wedding with your marriage. It’s great to have a beautiful wedding, but it’s much more important to have a beautiful marriage. This came from my now-husband.

What advice do you have for other brides?  Try to enjoy the process. It’s so easy to get caught up in the world of beautiful wedding blogs, magazines, Pinterest, others’ weddings and details, details, and more details. At the end of the day, your wedding is going to be amazing, wonderful, and beautiful – and it will be that regardless of how all the little details turn out. Find vendors that you trust, so that you can let go when it comes to crunch time, knowing that they will be able to execute your dream wedding.

  See the full gallery here.

  Menu

Passed Hors d’Oeuvres:  local charcuterie board {cured and smoked local meats with mustards, garden pickles, and tapenades, dried and fresh fruit, crostini, crisps and breads} // summer fritto misto {crispy baby artichokes, meyer lemon and basil} // chilled heirloom red gazpacho with aged balsamico // crisp potato cups with black olive tapenade and tuna confit // little skewers of fresh mozzarella and cherry tomatoes with crispy basil vinaigrette // wild salmon sake tartare in a cucumber ribbon

Plated First Course:  summer tartiflette {grilled eggplant, summer squash and oven dried farmed tomatoes with basil and redwood hill chevre}

Whole Roast Animals:  whole roast Clark Summit Farm pig {marinated in citrus, oregano, garlic, annatto and spices} // whole roast Clark Summit Farm pastured lamb {prepared with lemon zest, rosemary and garlic}

Accompaniments:  sweet corn salad {with grilled portobellos, crispy red peppers and bocconcini di mozzarella with oregano vinaigrette} // baby summer vegetables en papillote {local heirloom farm veggies steamed in parchment with lemon, thyme, white wine and strauss organic creamery butter} // shaved celery root salad {with house cured gravlax, grapefruit and pine nuts}

Cheese Course:  cowgirl creamery red hawk {triple-cream cow, Petaluma, California} // uplands cheese pleasant ridge reserve {aged cow, Codgeville, Wisconsin} // vermont creamery bonne bouche {ash-ripened goat, Websterville, Vermont} // bohemian creamery capriago {aged goat, Sebastopol, California} // served with organic baby lettuces

Sweets Bar:  macerated strawberries with orange almond meringues // fresh nectarine, peach and berry galette with whipped cream // dark chocolate drizzled cream puffs with custard cream filling // mini-lemon tarts // chocolate bark // chocolate, hazelnut and framboise truffles // gluten-free donut holes // wedding cake {lemon chiffon cake with passion fruit curd and lemon mascarpone cream bittersweet chocolate cake with passion fruit curd and dark chocolate ganache}

Oh my goodness… are you drooling yet?

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