#dff tan
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tharatorns · 1 year ago
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underrated but very important moment from DFF ep10: TanNew promptly hiding behind Jin ready to use him as a human shield as soon as Fluke, the one holding the gun, says his name:
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10/10 man, what an unpologetic deranged iconic king i stan him with my life
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syrena-del-mar · 1 year ago
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"Aren't you sad that I'll go abroad for a very long time?" "No. Whether you're here or not, it doesn't make any difference." "I'm sorry for never being a good brother."
Dead Friend Forever (2023) || Episode 9
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glazecaramel · 1 year ago
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His smirk really captured me.
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Help 🏳🏳🏳
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crysta1ized · 1 year ago
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a theory on ep11’s preview
firstly, if you’ve guessed/ theorized that non was still alive, you get 10 points!
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if you also guessed that perth would help him (in that case, thanks to tee) you also get 10 points!
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knowing that tee helped non escape, was definitely a plot twist. he basically lives at his uncle’s mercy, is forced to work for him and has to follow every single one of his orders so his father doesn’t die. which is a pretty shitty situation!
we saw previously that he showed guilt after non got busted for the fake accounts instead of him, but to help him escape from that very uncle? you’ll never fail to surprise me, tee!
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after that, tee gives an envelope to non and tells him he’ll get him out of there.
now, what is in this envelope? my first thought was obviously money. but i also thought, what if it was a plane ticket? it’d be safer for non to get the hell out of bangkok (or even thailand) to be sure the uncle and his men could never get him. a one way flight, non leaving without looking back.
i think that with the help of perth, tee could’ve gathered enough money to pay a ticket. i mean, that would’ve benefited tee a whole lot too. non forever out of his hair, not causing any more problems. disappearing without a trace. his uncle thinking he got rid of the troublemaker.
but what happened to mr keng then?
firstly we have no idea of the extent of his injuries. we guessed that non’s were only bad enough to knock him out on the roof, but the uncle might as well have killed keng for good.
i mean, he was hit with a car, which is way worse than a few punches. in the best case scenario (for him, cause i want that bastard dead), he only got a few bruises, but the most logical one would be that his legs are broken, as well as a few ribs maybe (depending on how hard the car hit him).
if we assume he’s alive, like non (which i seriously doubt), i don’t think tee would’ve helped him at all. he’s already risking everything to save non, he wouldn’t try saving both, especially because keng doesn’t mean anything to him. he probably never even had a conversation with him.
so in my opinion, we won’t see the teacher ever again, unless he found another way to escape, such as being rescued by the police as his disappearance could’ve been noticed after some time.
now onto the fun part!
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white is seen entering the arcade place, where we’ve already seen non & phee meeting up and making out at.
which means we’ll finally get teewhite whole’s backstory!
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my depressing theory is that we’ll get a cute little montage of their love story, and they’ll show us how cute they are, with their little puppy love, opposites attract shit just to snatch it from us right after.
mark my words, they’ll make us love teewhite and after those little flashbacks with bright colors that distracted us for a moment, we’ll get back to our depressing and dark present.
4 possibilities after that:
best case scenario: while we get a contrast between the past and how in love they were and acted, nothing terrible happens. tee explains to the group what was revealed to the viewer in the flashbacks, that he ended up helping non and that he’s still alive. he righted his wrongs and while white is shaken up, he’s glad tee isn’t just a bully who guilt tripped a kid into money laundering, he did feel guilt and saved him from his uncle.
same as above, tee reveals everything to the group but white doesn’t forgive him. he feels betrayed and mad that tee hid that from him for so long. in white’s eyes, tee is no longer someone he can trust, or hide behind.
tee dies
white dies
while i believe those 2 last options can happen, i don’t think they’d happen at that moment. tee’s reveal scene will probably be at the beginning of the episode while the following one with phee & new may happen soon after, which is why those 2 options seem less likely to happen then.
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new is clearly urging phee on to shoot.
but how? in the last scene of ep10, fluke is the one who has it and he clearly doesn’t want to let it go. he let white out of his grasp and is now pointing it at tee.
but fluke is clearly out of it, and is the one suffering the most from hallucinations, which made him shoot top even though his only principle was clearly to never act, to keep his hands clean of anything that could prevent him of becoming a doctor. too late now!
someone could take advantage of his delirious state and while he’s distracted, take the gun from him, like white, who’s on the ground, kinda behind fluke and now out of his sight. which is when phee could take the gun, as he’s the unofficial new leader and appears trustworthy as he just exposed new.
but who is phee pointing the gun at?
i think it’s most likely fluke. he’s clearly losing his mind and the hallucinations are making him aggressive, like top. which is why they may have to kill him before he kills someone else.
phee clearly wants to make the right decision, surely wants to kill him or just hurt him because fluke is an active threat. but tan just wants to see them all gone! he clearly has nothing to lose left, now that phee exposed him, this is his last chance to avenge his brother.
alternative theory:
phee might be pointing the gun at someone else.
according to how tee’s revelation ends, especially how non’s story ends, something might happen after that.
phee wouldn’t be pointing the gun at someone who didn’t deserve it, who wasn’t a threat to the group.
so why would it be tee? in my opinion, non escaped the country, end of story. but maybe something happened to him just before he could get out. then new would get mad at tee, blaming him. tee fights him. then he would represent a threat. or maybe the hallucinations come back and he gets violent.
then of course new would be happy to see phee shoot tee, who was the whole reason non even got involved with dangerous mafia shit in the first place.
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the last scene is new, lighting a cigarette.
why would he be smoking in the middle of all this? like he has time to do that?
maybe it’s just a meaningless scene they’re throwing in the preview so they don’t have to spoil too much stuff.
but, still, new is the only one who's going through with his plan, and he wouldn’t waste time on lighting a cigarette! unless it’s truly chaos, and like we know, he smokes to de-stress.
creepily, when i saw the scene the first time, i thought ‘this is his last cigarette. they’re holding him at gunpoint and they allow him to smoke one last time before they pull the trigger’ because he’s clearly shivering. but that may be way too far as i don’t think any of them would shoot anyone in cold blood if they weren’t actively threatened.
but a more plausible theory would be that they’re forcing him to smoke. in the scene where new is urging phee on to shoot, phee looks at him ‘like, what the fuck?’ like he’s not liking new telling him what to do at all.
maybe then, phee doesn’t shoot anyone, not fluke, not tee, but instead turns on new and points the gun at him. maybe phee really doesn’t want any kind of revenge for non anymore as his brother became too violent for his liking. but phee wouldn’t shoot new.
he could however hold him at gunpoint, and force him to smoke one of the drugged cigarettes, one with an X. maybe so he isn’t an active threat to them anymore, urging them to kill each other and to cause more chaos. they’d be on equal ground as he’d start hallucinating too.
what do you think?
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lemon-salad69 · 1 year ago
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When you realize the ‘fun trip with friends’ was planned by your newest friend to take revenge for his brother you made disappear three years ago.
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vegasthehedgehog · 1 year ago
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Some moments worth taking note of:
And a little rant at the end
The mon finally realizing why Non needed his meds. This is big because it probably made her guilt so much worse. She finally realized how much pain Non must have been in.
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Also, this scene shows me how ashamed that they still were of mental illness. Also, anyone notice the switch in his face. How did the dad go from upset to apathetic to angry in .2 seconds?
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I get why he would be angry about the lie, but treating your son like that at his mom's funeral is crazy. Also, treating him like this after what Non went through is also not good. I understand he was about to leave anyways, but why decide to hurt the only kid you have left first? What's the point of being angry? You pretty much made New think that his mom's and your death, were his fault. That is a special kind of cruel. Harboring so much resentment toward your own kids is obnoxious. He didn't even let New explain or talk to him, except to tell him that he should have given up on Non like he did.
The parents failed the kids but acted like it was the kids' jobs to make their lives easy. Their failure is the cause of so much of this. They were falling to pieces but expected New to just be fine? Why are the parents allowed to fall apart but New wasn't allowed to be anything but Nons perfect older brother. He seemed to be the only one who felt guilty for being seen as better than Non and letting Non down. I know this ended with both parents dead but it doesn't change or excuse their behavior.
As someone with parents who seemed to think that it's the kids' job to take care of them while the kid acts as the adult and put together, these parents really irritated me. I didn't know that kids were supposed to be supported and loved unconditionally and taught how to live. I had to grow up because my parents would fall apart without someone looking out for them. If my dad was upset, it would be my job to deal with him. I had to be a perfect child who acted like an adult, and if I ever did anything where I needed support, I had no one. Non should have been able to get support from his parents but instead got yelled at for how people were looking at them. New didn't even feel comfortable enough to show emotion and tell his parents he wanted to take a break from being the perfect child because they couldn't stand to have two useless and problematic sons. Even in death, they were punishing their kids. And that hurts my heart.
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the-pink-quill · 1 year ago
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Now where have I seen this face before...
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Aha!
See also:
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DFF (2024) inspired by The Nanny (1993)
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mousydentist · 1 year ago
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going back to my roots (making a thousand profile icons)
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kerrikins · 1 year ago
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New: Righteous Villain or Straying? 
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New’s story is deeply tragic and one that a lot of people can empathize with. He’s been put through hell beyond most people’s imagining - first with the disappearance of his little brother and the guilt and fear that came along with it. Then that was compounded with the double loss of his parents, and not only that, all three had one thing in common - they happened when New was not around. 
So, bearing a burden of guilt and rage, New became the hero for the audience, with one target in mind: avenging his little brother. His laser focus became clear as we moved deeper into the story, with New having one goal in mind: find out what happened Non, along with another goal seeming to appear as well: make them pay. With the best wishes of the audience at his back, his path as a righteous avenging hero seemed clear.
Is New straying into dangerous territory, however? 
Let’s think about New’s history before this. His place in the narrative is that of an older brother who has already failed his little brother. They weren’t close and he wasn’t there for Non in his time of need. Part of New’s story is one of absolution and redemption as he wasn’t there for Non and wasn’t a good brother to him in the past. He’s redeeming himself for his wrongs to Non by finding out what happened to him - seeking justice - and possibly making them pay - revenge. 
In this episode, however, we caught a glimpse of something else for the first time… New straying from having Non at the forefront of his mind. Phee asks him if this is what Non would want, and New’s reply is that he doesn’t care. 
In terms of horror, this can sometimes be a mistake. Because it’s different to be killing in the name of righteous revenge vs killing because you want to. In horror the latter is often viewed as straying from the ‘purity’ of the goal and can spell doom in the narrative. 
In terms of New’s personal journey this also matters because now he’s backsliding into the very thing he was supposed to be redeeming himself from - not thinking about Non or making him the priority. If the killings stop being about Non and justice or vengeance for him, then is New still our righteous avenging hero? That's questionable.
Now, there’s some doubt as to whether or not Non actually WOULD want this, and I agree that we don’t know for sure. We did see Non write out his script, after all. 
However when it came down to it, Non stopped when Jin apologized to him. 
We also saw the note that he left behind with Tee, a note in which he said nothing about revenge or anything of the sort. He didn’t express a desire for revenge to Tee himself, either. He was mostly in despair at his situation (which is understandable). So I'd say that we don't know for sure what Non would want at this point (if he was alive), three years out from the original events. He could be desperate for revenge or he could not be, I'd say either is possible. Keep in mind that Non was mostly portrayed as a quiet, gentle boy, and only resorted to violence when he was pushed to the absolute brink.
There was also something else we saw with New’s characterization which I found interesting, and that’s that he wasn’t doing the killing himself. Instead he was trying to get the other person who loved Non to do the killing FOR him - after having told Phee that he wouldn't have to do this in a prior episode. The combination of both going back on his word and pressuring someone else into doing his dirty work for him could be bad, in terms of the typical horror narrative. It's one thing to take revenge yourself, it's another to make someone else do it for you, especially since Phee has actually been portrayed as mostly greyish white rather than straight up grey or dark like some of the other characters.
It will be interesting to see how this plays out, and whether it means that our elder brother will emerge as a sole (or otherwise) survivor, or whether he’s now been doomed due to losing sight of his priorities.
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velvetshirtnumber3 · 1 year ago
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If it turns out there is nothing paranormal happening in Dead Friend Forever, then it means there must be another explanation for the characters who saw something weird/unexplained happening.
What I mean by this is specifically: Fluke thinking about Por strangling him while the masked figure looked on, that rash of sorts appearing on White's shoulder that one time, and Top seeing the masked figure appear and attack him in the bathroom.
These are instances where there was only really one person in the scene (or only one conscious one in Fluke's case), meaning that seeing these things isn't one of the other characters convincing them of something, and instances where it seems almost impossible for another character to cause what happened in the scenes. For instance, they couldn't just cause Fluke to see a dying Por to start bleeding from his eyes and strangling him, and then a second later everything seems fine. They couldn't just cause a rash to appear for ten seconds and disappear as if nothing happened. They couldn't have a masked figure appear in the bathroom, have him right near the door (and a person, Top) and then a couple seconds later he disappears without a trace.
So what explains it?
In Fluke's case, I think the vision is a manifestation of his own guilt and fear. He's extremely paranoid at this point, afraid the masked figure is going to come for him. We don't know what he did in the past, but it is bad enough that his future medical career would be prevented by it. He admits guilt, but is unwilling to pay for it, and so strongly advocates not telling anyway. He actually messes with the branch impaling Por because he's afraid Por will reveal what really happened. With the mindset he's in, I believe he might kill either Por or White if they were able to reveal anything. Therefore, I think some part of him that has been buried by his need to survive at whatever cost feels guilty, and so he imagines Por, who he seems to have thought about killing for at least a second, killing him while the masked figure, the physical representation of his past coming for him, watches.
Additionally, it wouldn't be really possible for the dying, mainly unconscious Por to suddenly wake up and actually try to kill him.
The rash appearing on White's shoulder could be something along the same vein of paranoia and guilt, but so far White doesn't seem to have been around for whatever happened in the past, so what it would be related to remains to be seen.
Could Top have also just been affected by the circumstances and imagined the sequence in the bathroom? Yes, but with him specifically, there are better explanations than the other.
One potentiality is that we have several unreliable narrators, who are portraying the scene that way for the audience's benefit, so we can't find out what's truly going on. In that case, they are pretending because they know something more than they are saying or they are involved with the masked figure. But this would be so pointless for White and Fluke, in which these scenes are throwaway in that the story doesn't need them to function properly, they are more for character insight. And obviously it doesn't make sense for them to pretend to see something like that, because it isn't really affecting the story that much. This is where Top's case is different. For the previous two cases, they were genuinely removed from the rest of the groups. But Top, while alone, is only really a room away from the other characters, and is within hearing distance of them. Now, as I said before, the way the masked figure appears then disappears is not explainable. It would be impossible for the figure to escape the room which Top seeing him go at least partially leaving, given how close it gets to him.
This just leaves the possibility that the figure was never there in the first place. As in, Top was pretending and staged his screaming and terror to either just scare the rest of the group or distract them so someone else could slip away. Top could be in cahoots with the masked figure.
From a story perspective, I'm not sure yet if this would fit with the events of the past. However, this could be possible in the last episode. After all, isn't Top the one driving the bike with Tan? And isn't it him who tips the bike over after apparently seeing the figure? In the scene, it is unclear who sees the figure, but Top is the only one who appears scared and starts yelling, while Tan doesn't react (until Top tips over the bike). This could be because he genuinely didn't see anything, because there actually is no masked figure in the scene, only an unreliable narrator.
Later on when part of the group finds the temple, we go between scenes of Tee, Phee, Jin and Nan at the temple, and White, Fluke and Por. If the masked figure ends up being among the group, the only one in the group not accounted for is Top, which could leave him free to be the masked figure, at least for that scene (if he is in cahoots, it is with multiple people, and probably taking turns being the masked figure). I don't know if this theory really works with the first two episodes, but it's just a thought.
My other non-paranormal explanation for what people are seeing is that someone drugged them all during the initial party and they are starting to hallucinate, and it happens to be their guilt inspired by the moving is sending them down similar paths of hallucination.
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arthoewholoveseverything · 10 months ago
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Listen. I need Tonkla and Dome to survive okay. I need them too.
Maybe this is just residual trauma from watching DFF but I just need them to survive. I will actually sob if they don't.
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tharatorns · 1 year ago
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Tan/New being iconic in Episode 10 DEAD FRIEND FOREVER (2023-2024)
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syrena-del-mar · 1 year ago
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An Ode to Older Siblings: New in Dead Friends Forever, Episode 9
Spoilers ahead for Dead Friend Forever Episode 9. Allusions to suicide and all other triggers that have accompanied this show will be here. Tagging @slayerkitty for the DFF Meta compilation.
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Can you imagine New, who sacrificed his relationship with his little brother to make it into a university abroad with a scholarship, one that would open opportunities that Thailand did not have to offer him, having to come back on a plane ride? A minimum of 12 hours in a plane, in an airport, packed with people going on business trips and vacations, yet where nobody knows that you're going to back home to a hell that you never could have imagined? It was supposed to be a holiday for him, a chance to see his family again after months of being apart.
But instead, his baby brother was now missing. The same baby brother that had given up on having any semblance of a relationship with him because he felt abandoned, forgotten. His little brother who would find no difference if he was abroad or not, because it's not like Tan had ever paid him any attention when he was so focused on just getting out of their home. But New was trying, extending an olive branch, hoping that Non would accept even the smallest bit of it. He'll bring him the best snacks that England has to offer, he'll listen to any problems that Non may have, even while he's thousands of miles away. But no calls ever came from his little brother's number. No, he hadn't even known that Non had gotten into trouble until his mother called him. Non's missing.
And, now he's returning home. The snacks that he had promised Non probably weighed like a ton of bricks as he carried them, they were his burden to carry. Maybe if he had been there a little more for Non, had been a little bit more present, maybe Non would have reached out. Maybe he wouldn't have had to turn to his tutor. His home is broken, but it's still a home. He's the oldest, he's the one that has to repair it when his parents can't.
He knows his mom had mentioned Non's boyfriend in passing before, even though Non had never told him directly. So he had searched through Non's belongings, looking for his number, hoping that Phee might have more information. He's doesn't, they're both at a loss. Maybe Phee didn't know Non as well as he thought he did, but New knows his brother. Non was never good with his words, never good at speaking directly of the problems he faced, but he would have left a sign, something, that might show them what demons he was facing alone.
So, he pretends that he can go back to his life in England, pretends for his parents' sake, so they don't have to worry about their only other son. But he can't, not when his little brother is out there...alone, again. He takes a leave of absence from school. Maybe it's crazy, reckless, but he puts himself back in high school. If the cops won't give him answers, then he'll get them himself. He forges his records, pretends that he was Non's same age, changes his identity. He's now Tan. A new kid that just happened to meet Phee at the office on their first day of school. Tan can charm his way into the same friend group that likely destroyed his brother. Tan can dig for the answers that nobody was willing to get.
And Phee helps, maybe he helps a little too much and little too close. For a moment, a part of New's heart breaks for his baby brother, as he sees his boyfriend get close to one of the bastards that had a hand in Non's disappearance. Maybe this is why Non always felt abandoned. So New smokes, one pack turns into hundreds more. A bad habit that he picked up with his English friends as they hit the pubs. It's the only sense of normalcy he has anymore.
He builds a makeshift lab with the money his parents wired him, nothing like the state-of-the-art equipment that he had grown accustomed to at his university, but it was enough. He researches, he experiments with the one concoction that might finally get Non's friends to tell him the truth. He's so close to perfecting it. Then his dad calls, and it feels strange. He rarely talked to his dad, it's his mom that usually calls him. Mom's dead. For a moment, he forgets that he was supposed to be in England, that he was never supposed to be in Thailand. He's not Tan anymore, he's just New. His house isn't just broken anymore, it's crumbling.
His father resents him. He's drunk and he's spitting fire, New can't blame him. Afterall, he is a liar. He lied that he was back at university, back in England. He never visited his mom when they were only miles away from each other and now she's dead as well. Was Non right all those years ago? Does he abandon everyone? He was never his dad's favorite, he knew that, but how he could he go and leave him behind too?
Now there was no broken house, no dilapidated house, no place that he called home. He couldn't fix this anymore. And he's tired, he's so tired. There's nothing for him to salvage anymore. Maybe if he takes a hit of his own concoction, he can end his pain as well. But Non... Non deserves justice and New is so scared, scared of failing him again. He wants this to end, he can't save anyone. But Phee arrives and holds him steady, lets him cling tightly to his shirt like he used to cling to his mother as a child.
Maybe he won't live for himself anymore. This all started with the bastards who were supposed to be his brother's friends. They cost him his whole family. No. he wasn't going to give them the satisfaction of destroying his home, of destroying his baby brother. He once told Non that he would steal his novel, get it sold for other people to read. Maybe it can't be sold anymore, but maybe Non's story can finally be told as Non had wished.
How could New have ever known that getting onto that plane would just be the prelude to the hell that he was about to raise? He's the oldest brother of the family, he was supposed to protect them, take his responsibility for his parents and his baby brother, but he failed. His dad was right, he wasn't a good enough son or brother, but maybe this could be the start of his atonement.
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glazecaramel · 1 year ago
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Goodbye Non and New 🕊
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crysta1ized · 1 year ago
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im not the only one who thought phee was gonna shotgun tan right….? like blow the smoke into his mouth so it gets into his system better….?
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chlodani · 1 year ago
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This is an Alternate ending I'm writing for DFF because I loved the show and hated how it ended. So I decided to write my own adaptation to how I feel one of the other possible ways that it could have ended. Now this is just how I feel one of the ways that it could have ended, with who I shipped in the show
Chapter One: Led From Tragedy
Phee fought as hard as he could to break free from the ties of his hallucinations. The drug-induced smoke made everything fuzzy. It turned reality into fiction, but it was so effective it made fiction feel like reality. Deep down he knew that and he had to find a way to escape back to real life to save his friends. His breathing grew heavier as many versions of Non haunted him as he fought his way back. The pain of losing his first love was turned to the guilt of wishing death upon him. He knew his feelings for Non weren't the same as they had been before, but he didn't wish death upon him. He wouldn't wish death upon anyone. Especially those who turned out to be his friends during his investigation for the truth. One of them whom he had grown the closest to, he was scared to lose the most. He didn't truly understand his feelings for him yet or how deep they went, but all he knew was that he couldn't let him die, especially at the hands of a psycho like New. Phee thought hard of the one most special to him, the one he'd sacrifice anything for. The next second he looked around and he was back inside the cabin. His friends were still lying on the floor passed out from the drug. His breath grew more heavy as he stepped back, staring at Jin with tears in his eyes regretting every second of their plan.
"You're awake?" He hears New, speak from beside him.
Suddenly he felt as if an anger he had never felt before ran through the very veins inside his body. It made every drop of blood boil as he clenched his fists. He turned to look at New with the utmost hatred.
"You've gone too far New!!" Phee shouted as he dug his nails into the palm of his hand almost drawing blood.
New smirked as a devious chuckle left him.
"This is what we hoped for Phee, we finally learned the truth about what happened to Non. Not even you can tell me you regret learning the truth," New spoke to him casually looking around at his handiwork almost seeming to be proud of it.
This seemed to only make Phee even more angry. His cheeks turned bright red and his body warmed from head to toe as his anger rose.
"I didn't mean for anybody to die!! I wanted to find the truth about Non, but I didn't want any of this!!"
"You left him the first chance you got! Don't act like you actually cared about my brother!!"
"I loved Non! But I couldn't abide by cheating..."
"You moved on and dropped him, finding yourself a new partner! I'm the only one who cared enough to do something about finding out the truth! And now that I have...They're all gonna pay for it-"
New suddenly looked at Phee with such hatred. He felt like he had been betrayed and left by everyone. He knew he had no one left. He felt that he had nothing to lose. Phee stared back at him with the same amount of hatred. It was almost as if he was waiting for the right moment to stop him. New looked at all of them lying on the floor still passed out and he smirked again.
"They're all gonna know how Non felt soon enough–Including you-"
Before New could make any more movements towards Phee, he hadn't noticed how he had put the gas mask on and aimed the drug-induced gas at New. He turned it on directly facing his direction not caring how close he was to him. At this point Phee didn't care what happened to New, there was only one person he cared about the most. He knew that he was the first person he had to help before any of them no matter what the consequences. New tried his hardest to fight off the effects of the gas but he knew even he wasn't defeated. Once Phee knew that New was unconscious, he picked up the gun and searched for the antidote on New until he found it. \He hurriedly made his way over to Jin who was still completely out of it. Jin screamed the words "I'm sorry, it was my fault" over and over again as he cried out begging for forgiveness. This almost made Phee tear up as he saw the one he loved having to go through this because of him. He knelt and gripped both Jin's forearms with his hands.
"Jin, Jin, Jin," he called his name repeatedly but still couldn't get an answer from him.
This panic made his heart race and he almost lost focus. He wasn't sure what to do next as his mind suddenly went foggy and all he worried about was Jin's safety. He knew the only way was to get Jin out of there. He took in a deep breath looking at him with as much confidence as he could muster.
"Jin!! It's not real, it's just a hallucination, I'm real look at me, wake up, and look at me!"
He wasn't sure that shouting was the best idea, but he knew that was the only way to wake him up enough to get him outside. He shouted his name one more time before Jin finally turned to look at him.
"P-Phee..." Jin seemed confused as he stared at him.
Phee smiled at him softly as he touched the side of his face gently.
"It's me, I'm real, focus on me, it's gonna be okay now," Phee told him confidently and calmly, even though he didn't truly believe it himself.
Tears streamed down Jin's face as he threw his arm around Phee's shoulders pulling him into a hug.
"I'm sorry it's my fault...It's all my fault...I didn't mean to..."
"Shhh, it's okay now Jin-" Phee put his hands on his back to return his hug for only a moment. "Let's get you out of here, we'll talk about this later,"
Jin didn't do anything but nod. It was almost as if he understood what he heard and what was right in front of him but reality was still confusing for him. Phee helped him stand to his feet and placed his arm around his waist while he had Jin using his shoulders as a crutch. His heart was racing in a panic as he tried to hurry him outside knowing New could find his way out any second. He knew he had to stop New somehow but he was honestly scared of the outcome, and what would become of him.
Phee helped get Jin outside and to the drive of the cabin. He stared at him trying as hard as he could not to tear up. He couldn't stand seeing him like this. He couldn't handle the thought that he was only like this because of him. He knew that New completely changed the plan on him but he still couldn't help but blame himself, even partly. Jin still couldn't comprehend where he was or what was going on. His reality was still shifted. He didn't know what was real and what wasn't. Phee frantically searched for where he had put the antidote. He hoped that it wasn't too late to save him. In his state of panic, he tried his hardest to light the antidote that New had rolled up into a homemade cigarette. He took a hit from it getting closer to Jin and blowing the smoke in his face. He did this several times until Jin looked at him curiously.
"P-Phee...?"
A soft sigh of relief left Phee as he relaxed a little and leaned back, but left his hands on his forearms close to his shoulders. He looked directly into his eyes. For a moment all he wanted to do was kiss him, but he knew saving their friends was more important than anything else.
"What's...What happened?"
Jin was still in a slight daze as he tried to fully come back into his surroundings. Phee placed his hands on the sides of his neck as his heart raced from anxiety.
"We can talk about that later," He looked into his eyes worried. Fear could be seen behind his eyes, "Just stay here until I get back-"
Jin was almost in a state of panic as he gripped Phee's arm tightly. He didn't want to be left alone. He wasn't sure what was going to happen if he was left alone. He wasn't sure if he could trust anyone anymore. Phee rested his forehead on his forehead as he cupped his face in his hands.
"Just please stay here and wait for me, it's safe out here, Jin please," Phee couldn't help but beg him. He felt that Jin was all he had left and he refused to lose him.
A soft sigh left Jin as a couple of tears fell from his eyes. Phee was still trying hard not to completely break as he saw the one he cherished the most with tears trickling down his face. He knew he had to stay strong if he was going to help the others. He wiped the tears from Jin's face.
"I promise, I'll be right back, I have to save our friends," A light tear dropped from his eye as he gave him a gentle kiss on his forehead.
A couple more tears fell from Jin's eyes as he looked directly at him. He nodded in a silent promise to do what he asked him. Phee gave him one last longing look before he turned away from him and rushed back into the house. Jin stared as he rushed back into the house, hoping all of them turned out to be okay. He didn't care what any of them had done, all he cared about was that the ones who remained got move on with their lives.
Phee rushed back through the house and back up the stairs. He knew he had no right to help them after he helped with part of this plan, but he couldn't leave them like this. Not after New went behind his back completely and changed the plan entirely. He couldn't let them die. He looked toward Tee and White, just as Tee had stabbed White in the side without realizing who he had stabbed. Phee rushed over and in a state of panic, he pulled out the antidote and lit it again as quickly as he could. He knelt beside them both, blowing the smoke directly at them. He did this like three times until Tee looked at him, seeming to know who he was. White was breathing uneasily, as he looked at Tee with tears streaming down his face. Tee turned his head to look at his boyfriend, a little scared to find out what was wrong with him. He looked at the blood on his hands, moving his gaze to the knife in White's side. His heart raced, as his stomach dropped. Tears quickly streamed down his face.
"White! White, no!! Fck what did I do?!" Tee shouted as he quickly his hands on his side around the knife.
White winced, "I-Its...I-Its...F-Fine..." he found it hard to breathe, but he was still aware of everything around him.
More tears streamed from Tee's eyes as he moved closer to him.
"I'm so sorry White, I...I didn't mean to...I..."
Phee placed his hand on Tee's shoulder in comfort. Tee turned his head to look at him and tried to speak through his tears:
"Phee...What do I do?... I can't lose him...This is all my fault..."
"No it's New's fault," Phee looked at White and sighed, "White will be fine, the knife only penetrated his side, and it looks like it didn't hit any major arteries. But leaving the knife in could cause an infection, so here's what you need to do-"
"What?? I'll do anything?!"
Tee was in a state of panic. He didn't know what to do or how to help his true love, but he would do anything for him.
"You have to remain calm to help him, Tee. Take off your shirt,"
"What??"
"Once we take the knife out you're gonna need to use something to put pressure on it to keep it from bleeding. You should be able to wrap your shirt around his waist as a bandage until we can get outta here and take him to a hospital-"
Tee couldn't say anything as he looked at him. His heart couldn't stop racing and he was terrified that something was going to go wrong.
"You have to do this Tee, you don't have any other choice,-"
Tee's heart jumped as he felt someone grab his arm as tightly as he could. He turned to look at White, who was staring at him. White couldn't say much, but he seemed to understand what was happening around them. He nodded to Tee as a couple of tears fell from his eyes.
"I..."
"The longer you wait the more of a chance he'll get an infection,"
Tee looked at him still in panicked. White tried to mutter the word "please" almost in a silent whisper. He wasn't very good with pain. He was trying as hard as he could not to focus on the pain. That was a little hard to do with every breath he tried to take. Tee quickly turned his attention back to White.
"Please Tee...I...I...need you," White managed to speak out before leaning his head back on the wall.
He was trying hard not to pass out from the pain. Tee looked at Phee again.
"Okay, what do I do?"
Phee nodded to him as he placed his own hands around the knife.
"Take off your shirt and get ready,"
Tee took his shirt off in a hurried panic, holding it in his hand.
"Now what?"
"Hold his hand and I'll take the knife out,"
He was confused as he looked at Phee. He took hold of White's hand and moved closer beside him. A couple more tears fell from his eyes as he watched Phee get ready to remove the knife.
"How do you know how to do this?"
Phee didn't look up from what he was doing as he responded:
"Let's just say I had a long boring conversation with Fluke about knife wounds-" He looked up at Tee for just a moment, "I guess it's a good thing I paid attention."
Phee turned his focus back to the knife.
"Hold his hand tightly,-" He started to very slowly withdraw the knife. White winced in pain and jerked himself sideways. This made him cry out as he felt the knife jerk a little inside him. "White, hang in there, it's gonna hurt but you can't move,"
Tee put his arm around White and held him as close to him as he could. He pecked his forehead gently as another tear fell from his eye.
"It's gonna be okay baby,"
White cried out softly as he held Tee's hand tightly.
"It hurts Tee,"
Tee couldn't stand to see his baby like this. He wished he could do something to take away his pain but he wasn't sure what to do. He felt useless at this moment because he didn’t how to help him. He gently started to stroke his arm with his hand as he rested his head on his.
"I know, I know it does baby, it's gonna be over soon. You just have to stay still okay,"
White nodded as he clung to him tightly. Phee sighed as he watched them and turned his focus back on the knife. He tried to keep his hands from shaking as he took hold of the knife again. Tee took in a short breath as he held White to himself tightly. He watched Phee intently as he tried to keep his breathing steady from how fast his heart was racing. Phee wasn't doing anything yet as he stared at Tee waiting to make sure they were both ready. Tee gave him a gentle nod as he held White tightly. Phee sighed again before he started to slowly withdraw the knife again. White whined and jerked away again. This made the knife jerk to the side again. He cried out once more. Phee pounded the floor with his fist in frustration.
"Dammit!!" He cursed.
White cried as he clung to Tee tighter.
"I told you not to move!" Phee shouted from fear.
Tears streamed down White's face.
"I'm sorry," he muttered.
"The more you move the more of a chance the knife is going to go deeper. Then I won't be able to get it out! Is that what you want White?!"
"He's trying his best Phee!! How would you feel if it was you?!" Tee shouted in anger.
He glared at Phee as he hugged White possessively.
"He wouldn't need this done if you hadn't stabbed him in the first place!!"
Tee's stomach dropped. It was spinning so fast, that he almost felt nauseous. He didn't know how to respond to him. He had to force himself not to start crying. Phee sighed again as he looked at them. He instantly regretted saying that, but he knew he couldn't take it back.
"Tee, please find a way to distract him so I can do this. I feel like we've already waited long enough,"
Tee sighed softly. He was quiet as he thought. He wasn't sure how to distract him. He was trying not to panic. He kept looking back and forth between Phee and White, frantically thinking of what to do.
"Tee?" Phee impatiently spoke up.
All he wanted to do was help them. He couldn't tell if it was more out of guilt or being their friend, but he didn't care about that right now. All he knew was that he wanted to do right by them from that point on. Tee didn't say anything as he looked at White. He suddenly had an idea, but he wasn't sure if it was going to work or not. He looked at Phee and slightly nodded to him. Phee raised an eyebrow as he watched him. Tee took White's chin between two of his fingers and his thumb. He turned his head up towards him and stared into his eyes. White wasn't sure what was going on, but he had a feeling what Tee was going to do. He leaned closer to White and touched his lips to his. White knew it was coming but he was still a little surprised. This didn't stop White from melting into his kiss like he hadn't kissed him in months. He placed his hand on Tee's chest and started to deepen their kiss. He wanted to forget every ounce of pain that he was in. Tee took his hand in his and held it tightly against his chest. He deepened their kiss more in the hope that it would keep him distracted enough so Phee could help him. Phee stared at them for a moment. He was terrified of messing something up, but he knew he didn't have a choice. He placed his hands on the knife and once again started to slowly withdraw the knife. White whimpered against Tee's lips, but he didn't move. Phee smiled very gently as he thought they might be able to get somewhere this time. After hearing his whimper Tee moved even closer to him. He held his hand even tighter as he kissed him even harder. Phee breathed out softly as he looked at them again for only a second. He was still beyond terrified. He tried desperately to keep his hands from starting to shake again. He closed his eyes for only a split second. 'You can do this' Phee thought. He turned all his of focus onto the knife again. He slowly and carefully withdrew the knife from White's side. He sighed in relief as he sat back on the floor and let the knife drop. Tee and White turned their attention to him.
"It's over?" White asked in relief but also fear.
Phee gave him a gentle smile as he nodded. Tee wrapped the shirt around his boyfriend's waist to dress the wound. He smiled gently in relief.
"Yes, it's over"
"Not quite,"
Phee's heart jumped, but before he could look, he was hit upside the head with something knocking him to the floor. He landed on his side and he could barely make out what was around him. White quickly clung tightly to Tee and spoke his name out in fear. Tee held onto him tightly as he watched the scene in front of him. Phee grunted as he moved and began to search around for the gun. He placed his hand on his head and winced as he felt some pain. He looked at his hand and saw some blood. He was starting to become angry again. He didn't even have to look to know who it was. He became more frustrated as he searched around for the gun but couldn't find it.
"Looking for this?" New asked with a smirk.
Phee slowly turned to look at him. He tried not to panic as he saw the gun being at him.
"New-"
"You think you're such a hero don't you Phee? You saved three lives tonight so far," New deviously chuckled, as he stepped closer to him. "Too bad your efforts will be for nothing," He held his finger on the trigger and smirked.
Phee held up his hands in surrender to him.
"I...I...I know you wanted revenge on them for losing Non, but you heard the stories, they didn't actually kill him-"
"It was their fault!! They led him to his death!!" New shouted as he waved the gun around.
He aimed it at White and Tee for only a second. White clung tightly to Tee as he cried a little in fear. Tee watched them as he turned his body toward White. He glared at New as he held his boyfriend tightly. Phee got onto his knees. He didn't look away from New as he tried to turn his attention back to him.
"But they didn't actually kill him, you heard, he tried to stop it, he tried to help him but it was too late, it wasn't their fault...New just think rationally...Would Non want this? Would he truly want this?"
"He told me to kill them!! He told me to avenge him!!"
"That wasn't real!! It..." Phee took in a soft breath and tried to speak calmly to him. "It was just a hallucination, the real Non wouldn't want this, think about it,"
"It wasn't a hallucination!!! Non told me to avenge him!! He told me who was responsible for his death-"
White started to cry out more as he started to become more afraid. New became more annoyed as he heard White’s crying and Phee’s talking. He started to pace in frustration as both of them were talking. Phee kept trying to convince him to put the gun down while White was crying and begging Tee to make him stop. He couldn't focus as his brother's voice played in his head. He heard his brother repeatedly telling him to kill them. He felt as though his head was going to explode with all the voices he was hearing all at once.
"Shut up..."
The voices around him kept getting louder and louder. Non's voice grew louder in his head. He slowly became more and more frustrated as his pacing became more frantic.
"Shut up!!!" He shouted as he aimed the gun at White.
Phee took this opportunity while he was distracted to kick his knee as hard as he possibly could. New cried out in pain at the feeling as he felt his knee crack. Phee quickly stood to his feet and grabbed the gun. He aimed it directly at New. His hands shook as he began to sweat from head to toe.
"Enough!!" Phee shouted.
New breathed heavily, as he lifted his head to look at him. He smirked as he chuckled. He winced in pain as he moved slightly.
"So this is how it ends? You really gonna shoot me...Phee?...I'm your only friend...I'm all you've got!!" New laughed.
"I don't care if they see me as their friend or not...All I wanted was to find out the truth about Non. None of them deserved this...No one deserves death,"
"Don't tell me you actually care about them?"
Phee didn't say anything. He held his grip on the gun tightly.
"You're a traitor Phee!! You're choosing them over me!!??" New was offended that his only friend betrayed.
"I'm choosing myself!! I won't become like you!!"
New became angrier as he clenched his fists tightly while he knelt there. He knew that he had no one left. He had nothing left to live for. He smirked as he looked at the knife on the floor beside him.
"Well, if you're truly genuine to them, now's your chance to prove it,"
Phee raised an eyebrow in question as he watched him. New picked up the knife and charged it directly at White. Phee suddenly felt a ringing in his ears as the shot of a gun went off. He didn't even think as he pulled the trigger. All he thought about was saving his friend. White and Tee were breathing heavily from the sudden jump scare. Phee didn't even know how to think. He had just killed someone. He has betrayed everyone in the cabin. At that moment he wasn't sure if those two would testify for him or not. He didn’t care about that. Even if they didn’t and he was arrested, it would’ve been worth it for him because he saved them. He shook his thoughts away as he dropped the gun. He looked at them again.
"Why would you do this for us?" Tee asked him as he stroked White's arm gently.
White tried to steady his breathing from crying so hard. He clung tightly to Tee's jacket. Phee let out a gentle sigh.
"Because... Despite what anyone may think of me now...I'm not like him or his brother," he replied as he walked over to them.
White was visibly shaking as he turned his head to look at Phee.
"T-Thank you..." White stuttered from being completely worn out.
Phee offered him a light smile.
"Don't mention it,-" He looked at Tee. "Can you walk?" He asked him calmly.
He wanted to try to ignore what happened. He knew that as soon as this reached the police he wouldn't be able to ignore it. Tee nodded in answer to him. He nodded back in response and went to the other side of White.
"I'll help you get him up,"
Tee didn't say anything as he nodded again. He stood to his feet and they both carefully helped White to his feet. He whined quietly from the pain. Phee and Tee both looked at him with concern.
"Can you walk?" They asked him at the same time.
White tried to step forward but it was too painful for him. He winced again as he stepped back. He shook his head and felt a little embarrassed. Tee looked at him and instantly hated himself. He knew this wouldn't have happened if it hadn't been for him.
"I've got him," Tee spoke as he gently cleared his throat.
He tried so hard not to let the tears fall. He wondered if White would even want to stay with him after this. He couldn't help but recall how he had felt so much happier ever since White walked into his life. He hated thinking about what his life would be like without him now. He hated himself because he knew if he lost him now it would be all his fault. He shook away his depressing thoughts as he picked White up. He held his legs over one of his arms and supported his lower back with the other. White held his arms around his neck tightly and rested his forehead against Tee's. All he wanted to do was rest, but he wasn't sure if it was a good idea yet. Tee walked him outside and over to where he saw Jin. Jin almost panicked seeing his friend like this.
"What the hell happened??" Jin asked them as he rushed over to them.
"It doesn't matter what happened, all that matters is he's safe," Tee responded, avoiding the truth.
He didn't know how his friends would see him after they learned the truth. To be truthfully honest all Tee cared about was the opinion of the man he loved more than life itself. He held White close to him as he sat on a rock. He held him on his lap and clung to him tightly. He let a single tear fall from his eye as he sat there quietly. All he wanted was for this to be over.
"Where's Phee? I heard a gunshot?" Jin asked with fear in his eyes.
Tee didn't look at him as he responded: "He's fine, New...Tan...Whatever you wanna call him...Is dead...Phee is checking on the others."
Jin sighed in relief as he looked towards the cabin again. He couldn't help but worry about whether or not any of them would be okay after this. Would any of them be the same after this? Would their friendships be the same? Would any of them be able to move on from this? His mind was crowded with these thoughts as he worried for the one he truly loved the most. All he wanted was to be with him. He didn't care about anything else.
Phee let out a soft sigh as he walked over to Top and Fluke. They were still unconscious from falling over the railing. He panicked as he rushed towards them. He knelt in between them and checked to make sure both of them were still breathing. He breathed out a soft breath in relief. He stared at them for a long moment. He wondered how he could wake them up. He thought for a long while before an idea came to him. He stared at them before he raised both of his hands. He sat there like not doing anything for several seconds. Without a second thought he brought his hands down and struck them extremely hard on the face. They cried out in pain as they quickly sat up. Neither one of them could move their legs. They didn't realize that they had fallen across from one another at the bottom of the stairs. They turned around the best that they could after they heard each other. Both of them raged with hatred.
"You shot me!!" Top shouted to Fluke in anger.
"You pushed me over the railing!!" Fluke fired back with more anger.
"You could've killed me!!" They yelled out in sync.
They tried to wave their arms at each other. It was the only way they could go at one another other than with words. They both tried to move towards each other and cried out as they jerked their legs. Phee rolled his eyes.
"You both have a broken leg and you're still trying to fight," he slapped his forehead in annoyance at them.
He took out the antidote and the lighter. He was actually kind of happy that this was the last time that he would have to use this. After lighting it he took several hits from it, blowing the smoke directly at their faces. Top and Fluke didn't say anything as they looked at Phee and then at each other. It was silent for about a minute before they started at it again. Phee was slowly becoming more annoyed. He hated to see two close friends like them at each other’s throats. He was used to them being happy and goofing off with one another, especially Top. He hated that because of all of this he may have caused a quarrel between friends. He may be the cause of ruining their friendship. He hoped they would reconcile and work it all out, but he wasn’t very confident. In his annoyance he smacked them both on the backs of their heads.
"Would you two quit fighting long enough to realize that neither of you are actually dead?! You just broke your legs. Stop and look around you long enough to realize we're gonna make it outta here! If you continue to fight like this, I'll knock you both out again Might make it easier to get you both outta here," Phee rolled his eyes as he stood straight to his feet. "Now, I'm gonna go get Tee to help me get you outta here, try not to actually kill each other while I'm gone,"
As soon as Phee started to walk out of the cabin they immediately started to bicker again. Phee sighed annoyed as he shook his head. 'Idiots' He thought. As soon as he walked down the driveway to his friends, Jin was almost overjoyed to see him still alive.
"Phee!" He anxiously exclaimed as he rushed to him.
He threw his arm around him. Phee didn't know how to react to this. He never expected Jin to do this. He thought that even though they made up, Jin would ever forgive him. He didn't want to waste another second. He didn't want him to think that he didn't want this. He wrapped his arms around him and hugged him tightly. He buried his face in his neck and tried not to cry from the stress of everything that happened.
"I thought..."
"I'm alright, don't worry, we're all gonna get outta here," Phee reassured him.
Jin leaned back to look at him.
"What about Top and Fluke?" Jin asked him, worried.
"They're alive, bickering like always, they have a broken leg, both of them," Phee looked at Tee. "If you wouldn't mind helping me get them out here?" He asked Tee.
Tee nodded to him. He moved to set White down but stopped as soon as White started to freak out and whimper. Tee ran his hand soothingly over his back. He lifted his face to look at him.
"Shhhh, baby boy it's okay. I'm just going to help our friends, I promise you that I will come back to you. The danger is over, we're gonna be okay now," Tee placed his hand on the side of his face and he gently ran his thumb over his cheek. "I promise it's gonna be okay my love,"
White didn't say anything. All he did was nod in response. He winced as Tee placed him gently on the ground. He stood to his feet and gave one last look at White. He softly sighed. He didn’t want to leave his side but he knew it would only take a moment. He cleared his throat before he finally looked away.
"Will you look after him while we go in to help Top and Fluke?" Tee asked him calmly.
Jin nodded in answer to him and walked directly over to White. He knelt on the ground beside him and placed his hand on his back gently in a comforting gesture. Phee looked at Tee before they turned and headed inside the cabin. They walked over to their friends, who were to Tee’s surprise actually arguing. He wondered what Top’s dumbass could’ve said this time.
"Seriously?" Tee asked with a cocked brow.
"They've been doing this since I left them," Phee replied as he slapped his hand to his forehead.
Tee sighed annoyed as he walked over to them. All he wanted to do was get back to White. He didn't want to care about anything or anyone else. He leaned down and slapped both Top and Fluke's foreheads as hard as he could. They both complained out in pain as they looked at him.
"Quit arguing! Be thankful you're both still alive! All you've got is a broken leg! Some of us weren’t that lucky! You two should be lucky we don't make you two crawl outta here!"
Phee couldn’t stop himself from snickering.Top and Fluke didn’t say a word as they looked at Tee.
"Why are you shirtless?" Top asked Tee with a raised brow.
Tee didn't say anything as he looked at him.
"You're so nosey Top! Maybe he's shirtless cause he's hot, after everything that's happened tonight, I'm hot myself," Fluke said to him as he rolled his eyes.
"You're hot too? Then take off your shirt," Top suggested.
"You pervert, I'm not gonna go shirtless in front of you guys, especially you," Fluke raised an eyebrow as he glared at him.
Phee and Tee both rolled their eyes. They completely ignored their arguing as they picked them up. They held them the same way Tee held White previously, to carry them out easier. Both of them were so tempted to knock their heads together as they walked them out. They may have been their friends but they found their arguing to be extremely annoying. As they approached the others outside Jin stood to his feet and helped Phee set Fluke down carefully. The two were still arguing over.
"What are they fighting about?" Jin asked in question.
"Whether or not Fluke will take his shirt off or not," Phee replied as he tried not to laugh.
"I'm sorry what?"
Phee couldn't stop himself from chuckling. For a brief moment after he saw Jin acting even slightly normal with his friends, he felt like everything was gonna be okay. He wished more than anything that he could believe that, but he wasn’t so sure that it would be. While Fluke, Top, and Jin discussed the shirtless topic, Tee shook his head. He was still annoyed. He walked back over to his boyfriend and sat down beside him. White gently whined from the pain as Tee carefully pulled him into his lap. He wasn't sure that he could make up for what he did, but he wasn't going to give up. No matter what happened.
Phee looked towards the sky as the sun began to rise over the cabin. After everything that happened, he couldn't believe it was finally over. He couldn't believe they would all be free. He didn't have to worry about the pain of not knowing what happened to his ex following him everywhere. He wasn't sure he would ever get over the guilt, but now he had another reason to keep going. He looked directly at Jin who was laughing with Top. He was surprised to see any of them laughing. For a moment it's like nothing happened. All of them wanted to forget. It was like they were back to normal. Except Fluke. He stared at the ground with pure hatred that could be seen deep within his eyes. He wasn’t sure if he could ever move on. That’s all Tee wanted to do. The only thing he cared about was White. He didn’t want any reminder of that weekend. White just wanted to be with Tee. He wanted to keep the others as his friends, but he wanted the environment around them to be safe. Jin wasn’t sure what he wanted. He kept thinking that they had that party for his farewell. He was still tempted to pack up and leave to study in America. Even if things were sort of patched up with Phee, he didn’t know if they would ever move past being friends. He thought it might be better for him to pack up and leave. Top was confused more than anything else. He knew he wanted to move on, but he wasn’t sure that he could. He knew that none of them would be the same. He feared that this was the end of their friendships. After so many years could it really be over? Phee was only focused on one thing. He didn’t care about any of the others. His reason for living had changed. He wanted a new outlook for himself. One where he could live surely with his friends around him and not have to worry about being questioned about trust. There was one question that remained over any others. Could they all forgive him for being a part of New's plan? Could Jin forgive him? What if his nightmare had just begun?
~Time Skip: Several hours later~
Phee stood directly beside Jin, who was sitting on a hospital bed. The nurse was on the other side of him. Jin was a little nervous as she was filling out the last of her paperwork for him. He took in a deep breath as he watched her. His heart started to race as he felt Phee move some hair out of his face gently with his finger.
"I told you, I was going to bring you to a doctor when this was all over," Phee told him with a soft smile.
"Yeah, well, Tan's betrayal made me wonder if we were ever going to see daylight again," Jin said to him with a sigh.
Phee didn't know whether to be happy or concerned that he didn't mention his name. Jin knew that Phee never wanted anyone to get hurt. He felt as though he was genuine towards him. He was confused about how Phee felt. He questioned why he never said anything back when he confessed his own feelings for him. Then he wondered if maybe Phee was mad at him for posting that video of Non, but he wasn't saying anything. He sighed as he looked at the floor.
"Thank you for staying with me Phee,"
Phee lifted his chin to meet his gaze.
"I also told you that I would always protect you, didn't I?"
Jin couldn't help but smile shyly as he looked away. Phee gave a gentle smile. After spending this time with him again, Phee knew that he never wanted it to be anyone other than him for the rest of his life. He wasn't sure how to tell him this, but he knew he didn't want to lose him.
"Okay, Mr. Sukmek, I have to reset your shoulder, unfortunately, if it stays like this it will be set off and could cause you pain, almost like a constant ache everyday," the nurse explained to Jin.
"Would it really be every day?" he asked her nervously.
"The pain might not be so bad, but there are a lot of things you wouldn't be able to do like you could before,"
Jin let out an anxious sigh as he looked at her. He gave her a slight nod. All he wanted was for his life to go back to normal. He wasn’t sure that was even possible after everything that had happened. He wanted to forget all the bad and move on with his life. He wasn’t completely sure that he wanted him to be a part of that life or not. He knew that he had a lot of thinking to do. He knew how he felt about him, but he wasn’t sure how he felt and that bugged him more than anything.
"If it makes you feel any better you can hold your boyfriend's hand," the nurse offered him a gentle smile.
Phee's stomach dropped upon hearing this word. He knew that it wasn't true but he hoped it would be and hearing it from an outsider was enough to confirm what he truly wanted.
"Oh, he's not my-"
Jin looked between the nurse and Phee for a second without saying anything more. He quickly took Phee's hand and gripped it tightly. Phee didn't know how to respond. He felt disappointed that Jin would probably never look at him as his boyfriend, but he was happy that Jin was willing to hold his hand at a time like this. The nurse gave them a knowing smirk. It was almost as if she could see what they couldn't. Jin's stomach was practically in his feet as the nurse grabbed a hold of his arm. She looked directly at him.
"Are you ready?" She asked for confirmation.
"Not really," he responded a little shaky.
Phee gripped his hand tightly.
"Just do it, don't count, just do it. It's almost like ripping off a bandaid," Phee added for encouragement.
"It is not li–" Jin suddenly cried out from a sudden sharp pain. He looked back and forth between the nurse and Phee for a moment.
She was smiling as she removed her gloves. She grabbed the sling and wrapped it around him and placed his arm inside. Jin winced a little in pain.
"All done, now just keep your arm elevated in this sling for several days to a week and you should be as good as new, any questions?" She asked him sweetly.
"Uh no...I think I'm okay," Jin replied a little stunned.
"Make sure not to lift anything too heavy for a while, you don't wanna aggravate the dislocation,"
"I'll make sure he doesn't nurse, and that he gets plenty of rest,"
Phee offered a kind smile as he still had hold of his hand. The nurse returned his smile kindly, before she looked at Jin.
"You're so lucky to have someone take care of you like he does. Don't take him for granted, he's special and deserves someone to show him that,-"
Jin's face turned bright red as he gently squeezed Phee's hand. He looked away from them, and silently cursing himself for becoming so shy. Phee couldn't look away from him. His reaction was the best thing he'd seen all night. The nurse chuckled as she looked between them.
"Have a great night you two," she kindly said to them before she walked away.
Jin was still embarrassed as he looked at Phee. He cleared his throat lightly as he looked at their hands. He was trying to look everywhere other than directly at him.
"Come on, let's go home, I'll get us something to eat," Phee offered with a gentle smile.
Jin quickly looked at him. He stood there and thought for a moment before he sighed.
"Phee, thank you for your help, but I can take care of myself," Jin responded.
He tried to speak as calmly as he could. He didn't want Phee to know how much he wanted him to come home with him. He wasn't sure he wanted to be alone, but he would never admit that.
"Jin, you have a bad dislocated shoulder, there isn't much you can do by yourself right now. And you need to eat, I happen to know you haven't eaten in about a couple of days,"
"I'll be fine Phee, you don't need to be worried about me. I can take care of food for myself and I don't need someone to look after me. Besides you've had a long few days you need to rest. You don't need to worry about taking care of me when you need to rest too,"
Phee couldn't stop the small smile that crossed his face. Jin raised an eyebrow as he looked at him.
"Why are you smiling?"
"Because the boy I like is worried about me,"
Jin's stomach dropped after hearing that come from him. His mind drew a blank and he didn't know what to say. It was like he couldn't even move, let alone think clearly. He had wanted to hear him say that for so long. Now that he has, he couldn't believe what he heard. It was almost unreal to him. His heart was racing as he tried to keep his breathing steady.
"Who says I'm worried about you? I'm just concerned you won't get enough rest to pass the final exam and have to retake the last course. I don't wanna hear you complaining to me for a year,"
Phee chuckled lightly, "Then let us rest together, please Jin-"
Jin sighed a little annoyed. He was more annoyed with himself than anything else. He wanted to let himself open up completely to Phee, but he was scared that if he did, he would get hurt. He felt like he had to protect himself.
"I won't rest at home very easily, I wanna be with you to make sure you're truly gonna be okay. Please let me stay with you,"
Jin was surprised to hear Phee begging like this, but if he was being truthfully honest, he enjoyed every second of it.
"Fine, you can stay with me, but don't get any ideas,"
Phee smiled at him brightly.
"I wasn't even thinking about that,"
Even though he had thought of that and their time together several times, he had no intention of making a move until Jin was ready.
"Okay, sure,"
Jin hopped off the bed and stood in front of him.
"Come on let's go," he offered.
Phee couldn't stop smiling.
"Can I still hold your hand as we leave?"
Jin took his hand from him as he started to walk.
"No,"
"Oh come on Jin, please," he tried to take his hand again but he moved it away.
Phee sighed slightly and wondered if Jin would ever actually warm up to him completely.
"No,"
"Just this once?"
Jin rolled his eyes, "No,"
"Please, I won't ask again?"
"If you annoy me too much, I'll make you go home alone,"
"Okay, sorry, I won't ask anymore,"
Phee threw his hands up in surrender as he let out another sigh. He wasn't sure if he could ever get Jin to open up to him again. He knew he screwed up, but all he wanted to do was make up for it. He wanted Jin to know that his feelings for him have changed. Or had they always been the same and he was just now realizing it? All he could think about was how much he wanted him to know his true feelings. He wanted him to know how much he truly cared about him. He wanted him to know that he loved him. He wasn't sure if he could ever say those words to him. He didn't know if Jin would ever want to hear them. All he knew at this point was that he wasn't going to give up. He would continue to pursue Jin until he realized his true feelings for him.
Tee sat on the stool beside the hospital bed. He held White’s hand tightly in his. His heart hasn’t stopped racing since they arrived. White had passed out in the ambulance. Tee knew it was only from the pain but he couldn't help but to worry about him. He constantly wondered if the knife had gone deeper than he thought it had. He wondered if when White jerked from the pain, the knife hadn't done more damage than they thought. The doctors told him that he would be okay, but he couldn't help but be worried that he wasn't waking up. He gently ran his thumb over the top of White's hand as some tears fell from his eyes. He couldn't stop thinking about how much he needed him. He didn't want to lose him. He couldn't live without him. He was terrified that White would look at him differently and want nothing to do with him anymore.
"I am so sorry for everything that's happened, White. This is all my fault...The stabbing... The...This never would have happened if I hadn't made you come with me. You never wanted to come with me in the first place. I was just scared to be without you. I wanted to have fun with you and instead I....I brought you into this mess...I have caused you so much pain...I don't know how to make it up to you...I don't know if I can...But I'm going to die trying..." Tears streamed down Tee's face as he talked to his unconscious boyfriend. He wasn't sure that he could hear him, but he knew he had to try. "I honestly don't know if I have ever said this to you before, but...."
White stirred in his sleep lightly. He could hear Tee talking and he wondered what he was going to say. He hated to hear him cry. His eyes were still closed but he knew he was crying just by listening to him. He kept completely still, pretending to be asleep as he listened. Tee struggled to find the right words to finish his sentence. White could feel his heart start to race. He was anxious to hear what he had to say, but he didn't want him to know he was awake yet in case Tee got scared and didn't finish.
"I don't even know if you can hear me...I hope that you can...I don't know why this is so hard to say...Maybe it's because I know that I don't deserve you..." More tears fell from his eyes as he looked directly at him. "I love you, White...I love you so much-"
White's heart started to beat so loudly he was afraid that Tee could hear it from where he was sitting. A single tear fell from White's eye. He honestly didn't know how to respond to this at first. He had been waiting for Tee to say this for so long. He knew how he had always felt for him but he wasn't sure that Tee shared his true feelings. He knew that he liked him but he wasn't sure how far it went.
"And I know that I don't deserve you to love me back, and I know that I have no right to beg you to love me, but I won't give up on you. Even if you reject me, I'm gonna-"
"I love you too,"
Tee quickly looked at White as more tears streamed down his face. His heart was racing a million miles a minute as he looked at him.
"What?"
A soft tear fell from his eye as he looked at Tee.
"I knew I loved you from the moment you decided to give me a chance to get close to you," White explained to him as he looked directly into his eyes.
Tee squeezed his hand as he moved closer. He sat on the bed beside him.
"But I don't -"
"I don't care what you did Tee, it's in the past, and I know you haven't had a real chance to explain it all to me yet, but I can't make you open up to me. I may not know who you were back then, but I know how you are now and that's the Tee that I fell in love with. I know you have a past you don't wanna talk about and I don't know if it's because you think you're protecting me or because you don't want to tell but what's most important to me is how you feel about me. You said that you changed after you met me. That you felt happier. Like you wouldn't know what to do without me-"
Tee couldn't look away from him as his heart started to beat even faster. He felt like he was falling even more deeply in love with him with every sentence he said.
"Well....I feel the same way Tee..."
White looked at their hands for a second and locked his fingers with his. He smiled gently as another tear fell from his eye. He looked at Tee again as he continued:
"I've been happier since I met you. I don't know how to live without you either and I don't ever want to find out what that's like. Your past doesn't define who you are, you do...You have to ask yourself, what kind of person do you truly want to be Tee?"
Tee couldn't stop crying as he looked at him. He hadn't recalled ever crying this much in his life, but when it came to White, he would do anything for him. Even the slight hint of losing him in some way scared him more than anything else in the world. Tee moved closer to him as he saw a couple more tears run down White's face. He used his other hand to gently wipe the tears away. He gripped his hand gently.
"I wanna be the person that loves you for the rest of our lives without any indifferences. Without anything getting in the way. I wanna be the person who takes care of you over anyone else. I wanna be the person you can rely on no matter what the circumstance. I wanna be the one you love above all others. I...Wanna be yours,"
White's gaze never left Tee's eyes. He couldn't stop more tears from falling.
"Then what's stopping you?"
Tee couldn't stop the smile that passed his lips. He couldn't look away from him. He couldn't comprehend how happy he actually felt.
"Can I kiss you?"
White's heart started to beat a million miles a minute. He knew how respectful Tee was of him but he never expected him to ask this. Especially since White was the one who instigated their first kiss, to begin with. White could physically feel his face turning bright red as his cheeks became extremely warm. He couldn't even find the words to tell him yes. All he could do was give him a gentle nod. Tee smiled so brightly, White thought that he could light up an entire room. Seeing Tee smile was everything to White. He couldn’t help but to feel happier whenever he saw his smile. With everything that has happened over that weekend, White wasn’t sure how things would turn out. Seeing him smile like this told him that everything was going to be okay. He knew they would never be the same but they would still be together. He knew they would be stronger. Tee couldn't stop smiling as he leaned over. He placed his hand on the side of White's face and moved in closer. He touched their lips together and his smile grew even more. He kissed him slowly and passionately and couldn't stop the last couple of tears that fell from his eye. White placed his hand on Tee's arm. As they kissed, White's stomach was spinning in a thousand circles. It didn't matter how many times they had kissed, whenever Tee kissed him he fell in love with him all over again. Even with everything that has happened, and everything White has found out, Tee is still the only one he has ever wanted. He has never loved anyone as much as he has Tee. He doesn't want that to change. He didn't care what he had done in his past. All he cared about was them. He cared about their future and nothing more. All he wanted was to be with him. Tee's smile grew as he rested his forehead on his. He breathed very gently against White's lips. He looked directly into his eyes.
"Will you stay with me here tonight?" White softly asked him.
He didn't want to be away from his side no matter where he was. Tee took his hand and softly stroked White's hair.
"I'm not going anywhere," he replied with a gentle smile.
White blushed as he stared at him. He couldn't believe that he had found someone like him. He never thought that anyone could love him, let alone want to be with him. He didn't think he was cool enough for anyone, especially someone like Tee. He may not know everything in Tee's past yet, and he wasn't even sure he wanted to know everything. It wasn't because he would look differently at Tee, it was because he didn't want to see how tough Tee had it growing up. No matter what he found out about him, he knew that it would only make him love him more. He cared about him so much that hearing about his bad past would only make him cry. Then there was that part of him that wanted to know everything about him. He wanted to know what he went through so that he could be there for him the best that he could. Even if he didn't understand what he truly went through, he was still going to try to be there for him. Neither of them could stop smiling as they looked into each other's eyes. All they knew at this moment was that they had each other and that was all they needed.
Fluke sat on the hospital bed directly next to Top's. Not by his own choice, the doctors put them next to each other. Even though Fluke specifically told them he didn't want anything to do with him, they didn't seem to care. He couldn't even look at him. He wished more than anything that he could get up and walk away. He rolled his eyes as he thought of his broken leg. He sat up against the pillows with his arms crossed. He stared at the floor the opposite direction Top was. He tapped his thumb on his arm and was getting more annoyed at the very presence of him.
"Are you seriously not gonna talk to me?" Top asked him with a sigh.
Fluke didn't respond to him as he breathed out a heavy sigh. Top rolled his eyes at his response.
"Okay, if I haven't apologized, I'm sorry for pushing you over the railing, but in my defense, I was drugged," Top leaned over the best he could without hurting himself and spoke this last part in a quieter voice. "And you never apologized for shooting me, so you have no right to be mad at me,"
Fluke still didn't say anything in response to him. He refused to give in to him. He didn't want to talk to him. He didn't want to look at him. He wasn't even sure that he wanted to be his friend at this point. He knew one thing was for sure after he was released from the hospital, he never wanted anything to do with him ever again. He was hoping the others felt the same as him. He didn't want to see him again. He almost felt a strong hatred towards him that he couldn’t explain.
"Come on dude, you can't just stay mad at me forever-"
"Watch me!" Fluke burst out in frustration.
The tone of his voice made Top jump. He didn't understand why he was treating him like this. He was trying to think of what he could have possibly done to make Fluke hate him so much. He just couldn't understand it.
"What did I do to you?!" He shot back more annoyed.
"You're such a dick Top," Fluke rolled his eyes. He still refused to look at him.
"I have never done anything to any of you guys. Are you seriously blaming me for the things I did on that night?! I don't even remember half of it and the things I do remember are way too blurry to make out!"
"Of course you of all us would say that,"
"You're acting like a child Fluke! Okay maybe I shouldn't be mad at you for what you did to me because of the drug, but I already apologized to you, what else am I supposed to do?!"
"Apologies aren't enough this time!!"
"Then what do you expect me to do?!"
"Nothing! I expect you to do nothing! Because after this, I never wanna see you again..."
Top couldn't seem to understand why this statement got to him so much. He didn't know whether to feel hurt or angry. He was confused about feeling both.
"We're friends Fluke! Or do you not want to stay friends with me just because of what happened?!"
Fluke turned to look at him in anger.
"Do you honestly not remember what you did?!"
"Do I have to repeat myself?! All I remember is what you did to me and us both falling over the railing! I didn't think you were deaf Fluke, damn I thought we would at least be able to…"
"You killed Por!! And I don't give a damn if the police already cleared you or not for being drugged by New! I don't care what evidence they have from those cameras! I will never forgive you for what you did to our friend!"
Fluke turned away again He waited anxiously for the doctor to come back over to them. All he wanted was to get away from him. He didn't care how, he just didn't want to be near him. He would crawl away from him if he had to. Top was at a loss for words. He didn't know how to respond. He didn't know what to do. His heart couldn't stop beating uncontrollably and he felt like he couldn't breathe. Being drugged so many times in one night, made him lose the one key important memory of what he did. Fluke was right, he may have been drugged, but it was still his fault.
"Fluk-"
Fluke looked at the doctor as he stood between the two beds. He was writing some stuff down on the paper on the clipboard in his hands.
"Excuse me, Doctor?" Fluke spoke up.
"Yes, Mr. Thianthong?"
"Please call me Fluke," he sighed, "I'd like to be moved away from him, this patient is bugging me and I'd like to rest,"
Fluke gave Top the side eye. It was almost a glare of pure hatred. Top still didn't know how to respond.
"Okay no problem, I have some nurses getting you guys' rooms ready, they should be done in a few minutes, we'll get you separated shortly,"
"Thank you, doctor,"
The doctor nodded to him and left them alone again. Top tried to find the words to speak to him. He knew he wanted to say something, but he didn't know what. He could feel the tears behind his eyes, but he forced them back and cleared his throat.
"Fluke...I know... Saying I'm sorry isn't enough...I know saying that I…"
"You're damn right it isn't enough! What you did is unforgivable! Don't expect anything less from any one of us! Especially Por's parents!"
Top's eyes widened upon hearing that. His heart started to race even faster and his stomach started to spin so fast he felt nauseous.
"Y-You're not gonna tell them are you??"
"Maybe…Maybe not… I haven't decided yet…But if you keep bugging me, I might just call them right now,"
Top stayed silent for a moment silently begging that he keep this between them. He felt like there was nothing he could say to make this better between the two of them. He didn't know why he cared so much about losing a friend like Fluke, but for some reason, he wanted to fight as hard as he could not to lose him.
"Fluke...Are we...Do you still want to be..."
"I stopped looking at you as my friend the minute you killed Por,"
Fluke was so cold to him. Top couldn't blame him for this. He hated every part of himself. He couldn't recall any point in time in his life when he cried, but as he sat there looking at his cold friend, who refused to even look at him, he could feel some tears falling from his eyes. He didn't understand why Fluke's hatred seemed to hurt him so much. He wanted to make amends with him, but he didn't think that would ever be possible. He wondered if he should just give up or keep fighting for what he wanted. He wasn't even sure if his efforts would be worth anything. Fluke was right, his actions are unforgivable and he wouldn't be surprised if he lost everything because of this. He grew up a middle child with parents who cared more about his brothers than him. He never felt like he belonged anywhere until he met his friends. After what he did, he was afraid he was going to be alone. He wondered if he deserved to be alone. After what he did, maybe he shouldn't be here either. Maybe it would make it better for all of them if he just disappeared and was never heard from ever again. He watched as one of the nurses came over and started to roll Fluke's bed away. A couple more tears fell from his eyes, as he wondered if he was even worth it anymore.
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