#dhp's asks

[discworld-heritage-posts]

What do you think you add? Do you think you make a poignant post better when after scrolling down through it we see someone saying it's "official"?

I'm choosing to interpret this ask as a genuine question (albeit one that's been worded a bit rudely) instead of a hate anon, because I wouldn't want to tarnish people's dashboards with hate anons.

Now, to answer your genuine question... The "Discworld Heritage Post" tagline I add to the end of posts has as much validity as I have authority to bestow it: none. Do I think my tagline makes posts better? Of course not! And I certainly don't think I make them official, (and neither my url or my pinned post claim that I do so).

I don't know what reasons other people had to start their own Heritage Posts blogs for other fandoms, but I will gladly tell you mine: I got into Discworld. I discovered the Discworld fandom in Tumblr. And, one day, while scrolling down some Discworld related tags, the idea just popped into my head. After checking that there wasn't a Discworld Heritage Posts blog already, I decided to make one.

I personally follow a few Heritage Posts blogs, and my reason to do so is probably the same as to why many people follow this blog: I wanted to see that kind of content. Tracking tags and being up to date on the most popular posts of a fandom is doable, but doing so for the dozens upon dozens of media I'm into is impossible, so I like to follow some Heritage Posts blogs to get some of those posts directly into my dashboard (it's also worth mentioning that sometimes, some iconic posts are made when people comment stuff on them, and those don't appear in the search tags, so following blogs that post about a certain fandom is the best way to come across some of those collaborative posts, because otherwise you'd rarely get to see them). So yes, I created a blog that, had it already existed, I would have liked to follow. Also, while other blogs with this gimmick usually limit themselves to reblogging, let's call them the "greatest hits", I've said since the beginning that I didn't care about how many notes something had. Be it cool art or a funny or insightful post, if I like it, I send it to my drafts.

However, none of those reasons are the main reason why I made this blog. The main reason is that I did it for myself. After exhausting all the content that showed up in the Popular Posts tab, I couldn't help but think of all the gold and treasure that wasn't there, buried and hidden due to the way Tumblr's search engine works. If you're familiar with the Discworld concept of "lies-to-children", that's what the "top posts of all time" is in Tumblr. A 20k post from 2016 will not be there, but a six month old post with 400 notes will show up. Surely there had been amazing Discworld posts and art posted in 2015 and 2013, but I wasn't going to find most of them unless I expressly went looking for them. And this blog was the perfect excuse to do so. As of replying to this ask, there's nearly 600 posts sitting in my drafts, and if I didn't have this blog I would have never discovered 90% of them. And those are the ones I've seen. I still have dozens of places I haven't searched.

I know that if I reblog a month old post with over 2k notes, a lot of people in the fandom will have already seen it. However, a 2k notes post from 2014, or a drawing with 40 notes from 2012 is something that is less likely to have hit people's dashes recently, or at all. When you come across the "Discworld Heritage Post" tagline in a post, please don't picture me as an uppity monarch performing the Tumblr equivalent of a knighting ceremony, or a stuffy museum curator deigning a piece worthy of being included in an exhibition. Picture me as a kid enthusiastically jumping and flailing my arms around while yelling "holy shit guys check out what I just found!!", because that's how I feel running this blog.

Ultimately, whether one of my posts does better or worse is indifferent to me, because they aren't my posts, or memes, or drawings. I'm just the intermediary. That being said, of course it's not indifferent to me, because more engagement means that was a post many people hadn't seen before, or had forgotten about, and one of my goals was to run a blog that would allow people to find those hidden or long forgotten gems.

When all is said and done, Heritage Post blogs are just another one of Tumblr's gimmicks. If we're not your cup of tea, you're free to ignore or block us. If you want to reblog something and don't want the tagline, you can reblog it directly from OP (or from another reblog if OP has deactivated their account).

[permitoffice]

THE DEPARTMENT OF HERMIT PERMITS NOTICE BOARD

Our team of dedicated and loyal staff would like to give you a warm welcome to the wonderful world of permits and permits and permits and permits and p

\\ OFFICE TRADING HOURS //

Monday CLOSED Tuesday CLOSED Wednesday CLOSED Thursday CLOSED Friday CLOSED Saturday CLOSED Sunday OPEN 2PM-3PM (5 minute break included) Every April 1st OPEN 9AM-5PM

\\ WE VALUE YOUR FEEDBACK! //

If you would like to suggest any areas of improvement, please do hesitate to send us a message through the complaints box. We will totally definitely look forward to reading them!

READ BEFORE SENDING MAIL: i get really passive aggressive on this blog so if you send in an ask pleasseeee keep in mind that whatever i reply with is a joke. i dont want to start up any accidental drama when it was all just a bit dhbdhdj. you come here to get TROLLED not SERVED sorry ^-^

\\ CUSTOMER NOTICES //

In place of the outdated trading hours schedule, our staff would like to inform you that the Permit Office is INDEFINITELY CLOSED for business. We apologise for the inconvenience and we appreciate your cooperation. @dhpbackrooms is evil dont associate (/joke i love them so much)

say hi to sister location @hermit-permits where you can get ACTUAL REAL PERMITS dont come to me ill troll you

Helpful information hyperlinks!! timezones?

Thank you for visiting the Department of Hermit Permits! We hope you have enjoyed your stay! Please do not come back soon!

[aajjks]

the way he gets treated sometimes makes me want to forget about giving him pussy and straight up fall to my knees and give him head-

HEAD CAN FIX HIS MOMMY ISSUES- HIS BRAIN ISSUES CHANGE HIS TRAJECTORY OF LIFE

[catermeow]

The DHP office is so… liminal. Misplaced. Hidden away from sight, a building and parking lot one might expect to see in a major city instead located in the middle of a forest, no roads in or out. There is no way in. If you force entry, you are greeted by a vast empty room, the only furniture a receptionist desk and filing cabinets in the center of the room. There is a single light hanging above it. 

There is a man standing behind the desk. There is no one else there. You approach, and inquire about… something. The words don’t feel like your own. The man smiles, an average customer service smile, but there seems to be some tinge of malice behind it. He explains the forms that need to be filled out, the paperwork that needs to be signed- this is such a long process, you know. 

The light seems to be getting dimmer. You look up, and it has begun corroding, decaying as you stand there watching. Some of the words the man says don’t make sense- you’d think they were gibberish, but something about this place is off, and you don’t trust yourself right now. You ask what he means. He says he’ll have to put you on hold for a moment, and music begins to play. You feel almost rooted in place. The man stares at you silently. The light gets dimmer. You can’t move. The music, pleasant at first, begins to grate. Finally, the man leaves, disappearing behind those file cabinets. You still can’t move. It feels like an eternity. Moss has started creeping its way up the cabinets. The ceiling is leaking. The floor is eroding. The light gets dimmer. You don’t want to move. 

Something pops, and suddenly the music is gone. The man is back. You can move again. The light is back to normal, no sign of any damage. The room is pristine. The man says something about the paperwork not being quite ready yet, you’ll have to come back later. You aren’t really listening, something in your brain is screaming that something is wrong. You want to leave. You don’t want to come back. Something about the man’s blank eyes seems to look through you, and you get the feeling you won’t have a choice. You thank him. You leave. You want to run, get as far from that place as possible. You walk.

You enter the forest, and turn for a final look at that strange building. There’s nothing there but more forest. Something doesn’t feel right.

[floef-likes-minecraft]

Work

“Good moring~!” Pearl started as she crossed the DHP parking lot with a pep in her step. It was a beautiful day, she had been up since the crack of dawn riding around the Server on Donkey (who is a mule) to deliver all sorts of letters and parcels. While Tango and Etho were still busy getting the entire mailing system online, she was happy to deliver more by hand.

Recently, the DHP had gotten an influx in mail having to be delivered to them and Pearl had made friends with the somewhat grumpy clerk that was sometimes maybe around. Today he was, for which Pearl was happy because that meant she could give him the mail personally instead of trying to get it into the building by shoving it under the broken door. The office was still under construction, so Pearl could forgive them for not even having a small mailbox.

“We’re closed,” Grian said. He was lounging outside, sitting against the white wall of the building and taking in the sun that crested just over the trees. He looked like he could use a bit more of that sun, but not everybody was as blessed as Pearl to have the best job in the world as a Postmaster and be outside all the time.

“Oh, I’m just delivering the mail,” Pearl answered cheerfully as she dug into her postbag. Everything was perfectly organized so it didn’t take long for her to grab out a stack with at least ten letters bundled together. “There you go, mister Grian, it’s always such a pleasure coming out here!”

When Grian didn’t take the bundle Pearl handed out to him, she just but the them carefully on the pavement next to him. He looked at them like they had said something foul to him, which he wouldn’t know until he actually opened them. Then, Grian looked up again to Pearl and a frown appeared on his face.

“Why are you still here?” he asked, rather rudely.

“It’s just that we barely have the chance to properly have a chat,” Pearl simply explained. “I’m not actually sure if the mailing system will be operational this far out, so I might have to keep coming here myself. Isn’t that great?”

“You really don’t have to,” Grian argued weakly, as he grabbed a paper cup with a steaming liquid from his side and set it to his lips to take a little sip. He pulled a face as if he didn’t much like the beverage, but didn’t say anything about it.

“Oh, don’t worry about it, it’s my job and I do it with pleasure,” Pearl assured him with a smile. “Isn’t it just great how a job can be a calling?”

“Can’t say I share that sentiment,” Grian sighed. He had to squint against the light of the sun to look at Pearl. “Look, if there is anything you want from me you’re going to have to come back when we’re opened.”

“Oh, no, don’t you worry your little cotton socks,” Pearl answered, waving her hand. “That is the beauty of mail, you can tend to it whenever you have the time! You can do it first thing when you open again, some work to look forward to!”

Grian opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something but ended up just shaking his head slowly. He must’ve had a rather bad night of sleep to be in such a mellow mood, Pearl assumed. She couldn’t imagine moping around at her job like this, it was way to wonderful to waste a day with a bad mood.

“So… do you have any mail to send?” she continued when Grian wasn’t pushing his conversation forward. “Any replies you need to send out from the letters I’ve brought you last week?”

“Haven’t gotten to them yet,” Grian answered dryly. “We were closed.”

“Oh,” Pearl was caught of guard by that but regrouped quickly. “Well, just know that you can count on the Hermit Post & Co to deliver anything you need. I can even deliver important documents if you want, with signed handover and everything. I’ll give it my extra secure, personal attention.”

“Great,” Grian answered with a sigh. “Don’t you have more mail to deliver? I was kind of in the middle of something.”

He took another sip from his drink, which seemed to be the ‘something’ he was in the middle of doing.

“Nope,” Pearl answered cheerful, shifting to sit next to Grian with her face turned towards the sun. “But I can enjoy this wonderful sunlight together with you. Isn’t that great?”

“… I don’t get paid enough for this.”   

[blueicequeen19]

DHP Pt. 9

Warnings: angst, fighting, blackmail, masturbation, unprotected sex

Series ML

I’m dripping sweat by the time we’re done moving everything into the apartment. Half the furniture is from the Chateau so Sarah has an excuse to redecorate. John B can never tell her no. We all refused to let Y/N lift a finger so she went across the street to grocery shop with what little money I had until I got paid again. She also mentioned getting a job although I didn’t want her to work but that was an argument for another time.

“Are you going to name him after me?” John B asks for the tenth time, smirking as he hands me a beer.

“Or me. There’s plenty of John’s, not enough Pope’s.” Pope chimes in, particularly serious. I chuckle, looking over to see Sarah and Kie in a heated debate. Their words were hushed but knowing Sarah, she was probably putting Kie in her place. She had no right to start her shit last night. I didn’t expect her to help today but she did, remaining silent and keeping her head down. She almost seemed defeated.

“So have you told Y/N about everything that happened last summer?” John B asks.

“No. What’s there to tell?” I shrug.

“The gold. Kiara. Rafe.” Pope adds.

“There’s nothing to tell. I started a business that’s still not up and running and paid off a shit ton of debt. I’m not bringing in any money yet.”

“Yet. Key word.” John B says, his eyes darting to Sarah and Kie constantly.

“This will all be temporary. You know I’d let you guys live at the Chateau but Sarah is hounding me for a baby. Especially now that you have one coming. Her baby fever is through the roof. My dick is going to fall off.”

“I didn’t need to know that.” Pope grimaces.

“I know but I need to step up and be a man. I have to do this. I have a one year lease then I’ll find a house out in the marsh again. I’m selling my dads house so I’m not living there. That’ll be a little dough until the charter is up and running. I’d rather Y/N not worry about working but with everything that’s happened, she probably needs something to keep her busy before the baby comes.”

“Yea, she lost everything. Like her life was completely uprooted.” John B and I both shoot Pope a glare and he holds his hands up in defense. “Sorry! That came out wrong.”

“No, it’s true.”

“Shits tough. Sarah went through it. Y/N just has to find herself again. She’ll have you to support her.” John B nods.

“I don’t know if I’m ready to let her back in. It took a lot for me to open up to her the first time.”

“Oh yea? Then what did I hear last night? We got thin walls man.”

“Listen, pregnancy hormones are apparently no joke. She woke me up and I helped her out. That was it.”

“Maybe you should work on the relationship without being physical. Withhold sex until you both know what you want.” Pope says, earning another glare from us.

“Do you want me to die? Have you not heard how crazy pregnant women can be?”

“Yea I’m with JJ. Don’t risk your life, man.”

Sarah and Kie’s hushed voices grow louder, earning our attention from across the room. I lick eyes with Kie and she shakes her head, waving off Sarah and stomping out the front door. Sarah sighs before joining us, curling up against John B’s side. It made me miss Y/N and her softness.

“What was that about?” I ask, downing the rest of my beer.

“She doesn’t trust Y/N and she thinks you’re being stupid. She’s just mad and jealous. I think you need to just set the record straight with her.” Sarah opens her own beer and takes a long gulp. Kie was a problem I’d ignored for a long time. How clear can you make it to someone that you’re not interested without being shitty?

Thank god I wasn’t having a girl. These women were driving me fucking nuts.

I hated how no matter what’s happened, I still ached for her. She left me breathless and crazy. My heart skipped beats and shit. I’d never felt anything like this before but she was right. It’d been there since the beginning.

“Guys!” Kie burst back in through the front door, her curly hair whipped around her face like she’d been running and her chest heaving. “Rafe has Y/N cornered at the grocery store across the street.”

Those words send me into a blind rage as I jump to my feet and tuck the peacekeeper into the waist band of my shorts, concealing it with my shirt despite my friends pleading for me to stop as I shove my way out the door.

The closer I get to the store, the angrier I get. My vision is practically red when I see that he’s not only standing too close but he’s wearing a proud, cocky smile. Almost like he’s.. flirting. Y/N wasn’t tense or appearing to be in any distress. If anything they looked to be having a pleasant conversation. It’s when her eyes lock on my fast approach that her face falls, her eyes widening.

“J..”

I fist the back of Rafe’s pollo, all but throwing him away from her.

“Jesus, dude. We were just talking.” Rafe chuckles, holding up his hands as he smiles.

“JJ, stop.” Y/N snaps, grabbing my elbow but all I can think about is the shit Rafe has put my friends through. What he’s put me through. Now he’s talking to Y/N. Flirting with her.

“Stay away from her.” I growl, taking a step towards him just as the Pogues catch up.

“Okay, okay, enough. Let’s go.” John B says, stepping between the two of us and pushing back on my chest.

“How’s the Kook life treating you guys? Blow through all that money yet?” Rafe turns to Sarah, who stiffens under her brothers gaze. “Did you enjoy getting our father killed?” His gaze moves to Pope, “How’s that family legacy? I think I might still have a few pieces of that cross left.”

I can’t stop myself from pulling the gun and shoving John B away, pressing the barrel against Rafe’s chest. He only smiles, like the untouchable asshole he thinks he is. I hear the girls gasp but everything fades, my hatred for Rafe and his family masking everything else.

“What the fuck do you want?” I bite out.

“Y/N owes me a favor. I’m here to collect.” Rafe keeps his cocky grin as his eyes move to Y/N at my side, trying to talk me down. I can’t hear her.

“She doesn’t owe you shit.” I growl, pressing the gun harder to Rafe’s chest.

“Ask her. Just ask her.” Rafe takes a step back, casting a glance to Pope and Sarah before looking back at Y/N.

“JJ, stop. You’ll go to jail!” Y/N grabs my face, making me look at her pleading eyes. The gun is taken from my hand as Rafe gets back in his car and peels away. “What was that about?” Y/N demands, searching my face like I’ve been injured.

“What favor do you owe him? What did he want?”

“You’re being crazy right now! Chill! We were just talking!”

“Rafe Cameron doesn’t just talk to people unless he’s looking to gain something. So what favor did he fucking want?” Her face hardens as she takes a step back, too stubborn to back down from me. I was being an asshole but I couldn’t help it. This was too close to home.

“You’re not going to talk to me like that. You’re being shitty with me for no reason.”

“Guys, stop. This is what he wants. He wants us to fight.” Sarah says, gently pulling Y/N back so we’re no longer in each others space.

“She doesn’t know how much of a psychopath Rafe is. She shouldn’t trust him!” I shout, letting John B lead me away as Sarah tries to plead with her.

“Then tell me why! You never fucking tell me why! You have all these barriers you put up and your reasons for doing things but I’m not going to just blindly follow you without reason. I need to be in on it too. What did he do?”

“Both of you stop.” Kie says, catching a murderous look from Y/N.

“No, you stop. Mind your own fucking business.” Y/N shouts at Kie. God, this was only getting worse.

“He is my business, bitch! I’ve known him a lot longer than you! It’s not our fault you don’t know the man who knocked you up. You better adapt real quick to the way we do things because it’s his baby too.” I find myself diving between the girls as Y/N lunges for her. Kie’s eyes soften as she looks up at me but it’s not her I’m protecting.

“Get over yourself, Kiara. It’s never going to happen between us. It’s over. It’s been over. Whatever torch you’re carrying for me, you need to let it fucking go. Don’t speak about my child on my behalf.” I snap, a pang of guilt slicing through me when her face falls. She was my best friend but I couldn’t do this anymore. Tears fill her eyes before she turns away, stomping off to where she’s parked down the road.

“Really, dude? How about you let her down gently?” Pope scoffs, going after her.

“You could’ve handled that better.” John B adds, taking Sarah’s hand and leading her to the Twinkie. Y/N shoves past me, heading back inside the apartment building without a second glance in my direction. I’d be glad when today is fucking over.

It’s late as I walk by the bathroom door, a stifled moan stopping me in my tracks. My ears perk up as I listen in. It would be totally like her to try and pleasure herself knowing I’ve offered to help. I can’t pull myself away as her soft little whimpers grow closer and closer together as she nears her peak. My dick hardens in my shorts as I grit my teeth, listening for the moment that she comes undone.

I think she’s close when she lets out a frustrated groan and there’s a loud bang. I don’t even hesitate in shoving the door open, terrified that she’s fallen in the shower.

“What the fuck?” Y/N snaps, opening the shower curtain to look at me.

“I-I’m sorry. I thought you fell or something.” I say, taking deep breaths to calm my racing heart. She scared me to death. I’m not surprised when she rolls her eyes at me, sitting a bottle of shampoo down on the edge of the tub.

Her eyes soften just a little when she realizes that she scared me. I take slow, easy breaths to calm my heart as she starts to lather herself up with soap without shutting the shower curtain. I can't look away as her hands massage the suds into her glorious tits then down her baby bump and around her hips. My cock is throbbing painfully already in my shorts as her hands find her breasts again as she rinses, her nipples pebbled and begging for my teeth.

"Did you cum?" I croak, my throat dry as my body screams for her.

"No." She says firmly, turning the water off and wrapping her body then hair in a towel. She steps out, looking up at me with defiant eyes before brushing past me to go to the bedroom. I watch her go down the hall before glancing back at the couch where I told myself I'd start sleeping. I really should walk away. We can't work through our issues if we're constantly avoiding it with sex. But when I look back down the hall to see the door left open and her naked silhouette climbing into the bed, I lose the rest of my restraint.

I go to the door and lean against the frame, watching as she gets a vibrator from the nightstand she'd packed away and brings it to her clit. She glares back at me as she turns the toy on, her body jerking with the sudden vibrations. The toy gets turned up as high as it will go and her eyes threaten to close as she starts to pant softly, surrendering herself to the pleasure. I can't look away, jealousy choking me over the damn toy touching her instead of me. I'm tempted to pull my cock out and masturbate with her but I know that will tip her over the edge and I don't want to help her achieve anything without me involved.

She groans when she can't reach her peak and she throws the toy down on the bed, her breathing hard as she stares back at me.

"I think your pussy is a little spoiled by me." I smirk, bringing myself to the edge of the bed and gazing at her wet, swollen pussy. Her glare intensifies as her eyes trail down my body, stopping at the tent in my shorts.

"That's fine. I'm spoiled by your pussy too." I lower myself to the bed, crawling up between her legs and savoring the shuddering breath she lets out as I stop just at her pussy.

"I want you to cum on my cock." I say, looking for her permission before I fuck her brains out. By the look in her eyes, I know she wants it too.

"Okay." She whispers. I don't hesitate in flipping her onto her hands and knees, making her yelp then moan loudly as I fill her up from behind. She's so wet that I slip right in, touching her so deep that my eyes threaten to roll back in my head. I fuck her hard and fast, sending her into orgasm after orgasm as my own quickly builds inside me. I pull her hands back, her face pressed into the comforter as I use her as nothing more but a vessel for my pleasure.

I didn’t know how to talk to her but I knew how to do this. I knew how to fuck her until she forgets everything she’s mad about. In this moment nothing else matters. Not the secrets or the lies. Not Rafe Cameron or her loser ex. Not Kie. Just this.

[psychedelic-ink]

Hello! Let me start off by saying that I've been silently stalking this blog and I love your writing so so much! You're a phenomenal writer and I absolutely love your work❤️

I've never asked for anything on Tumblr before, but regarding your Dark Hearted People series(I know you're dropping a masterlist and I am very patient and will wait as long as needed). Do you think you'd be interested in writing the trio going to Bill and Frank's? I can totally see Ezra being his charming self with both the reader and Frank, while Joel and Bill are off on the side being annoyed that this interloper is flirting with their respective partners so openly.

Honestly you don't evennhave to write this, this is just my way of telling you that your DHP fic body slammed me and I'm thanking you for it😂❤️

You are so incredibly sweet, I'm so happy that you've enjoyed DHP as much as you did. Thank you so much for all the kind words. ❤️❤️

I loved this idea so thank you so much for sending it in! Though, Ezra isn't flirting that hard, he's definitely charming and manages to annoy both Joel and Bill lmaodfvfdb

𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐏𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 - 𝐋𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐎𝐧

pairing: joel miller x f!reader, foreshadowing of joel miller x f!reader x ezra (prospect)

genre: fluff

word count: 0.5k

summary: you, ezra and joel have dinner at Frank and Bill's.

a/n: timeline-wise this doesn't really make sense but I wanted to write it anyway, can be read on its own. Set before the group realizes they have feelings for one another

It’s awkward. Everything about this dinner is awkward. 

Beautiful, but awkward. 

When Joel had said he knew a place that could keep them safe for a day or two, you were surprised. First of all, you didn’t expect this man to have friends, besides Tess which you might classify as more than friends back in the day. However, you have heard the charming couple’s name quite a few times before; Bill and Frank. 

The sun was beating down on your skin as Bill places a plate of delicate-looking rabbit meat and green in front of you. Joel and Bill sit across from each other, their postures semi-relaxed. Meanwhile, Ezra sits next to you, and next to him sits Frank. Bill sits down with a huff and you get the need to say something. 

“This looks delicious,” you hum, picking up your fork. “Thank you.” 

Bill looks up to you and nods, that’s pretty much it. You notice Frank narrowing his eyes at his partner. “Can you not?” he says clearly and quickly, then he turns to Joel. “It’s been a while since we saw you. How are you?” 

“Good.” 

“Still a man of few words I see.” 

“He is, indeed.” Ezra chimes in, stuffing his mouth full of rabbit and chewing with big bites. “I will be thanking you on his behalf and my own. This is awfully kind and a delicious meal.” 

“Oh, well Bill makes the meals. He’s the cook,” Frank answers with a wide smile. “I just pick the wine—and the friends.” 

You notice Joel glaring at Ezra, the crease between his brows deepening with every bite. They might not like each other, but it’s clear to you that Bill and Joel are made from the same cloth. Their dislike for Ezra is almost instant—though you have your doubts Joel just “dislikes” him—and how the younger man is behaving probably isn’t helping his case. While Ezra is chatting away with Frank, you feel his hand on your thigh. Your skin burns, yet, you don’t move his hand away. 

Your eyes meet Joel’s for a brief moment. He raises an eyebrow and you swallow, turning your attention back to Frank. 

“So Ezra,” Frank says, sipping his wine. “What did you do…before it all went to shit.” 

“Oh.” he looks dumbfounded for a moment, so much so that his hand flinches on your thigh. “I was…uh,” his dark gaze flits between you and Joel. Suddenly you realize he actually never told you what he did before. “I did lots of things. But my passion laid in the arts. Poetry, the piano, writing.” 

Bill raises an eyebrow and speaks for the first time. “A sensitive one,” he cuts into his rabbit right after pointing his fork at Frank. “Frank likes to paint. He's amazing at it.” 

“You have paint here?” you ask. 

“We have a lot here,” Bill answers without looking. 

“We actually have an antique piano inside,” Frank chirps, Bill’s eyes snap to him. You see the silent plea asking Frank to stop. He doesn’t. “Can you play?” 

“I can…” his words trail off, eyes finding Bill’s. “However I wouldn’t want to step on anyone’s toes.” 

Frank waves his hand dismissively, “Nonsense. Come on.” he points at you and gestures for you to follow. “You come too.” 

Joel makes a sound like he’s about to tell you to stay but you don’t. You grab your wine, glance back at him and swink before following Frank and Ezra inside. 

The last thing you hear is both men cursing in unison. 

[baronessblixen]

Season 4 and bonus Season 5 Frasier thoughts! :DDD

S4: Niles's comedy just keeps getting better and better (The Two Mrs. Cranes and Head Game and Thanksgiving were hilaaaaaaaaaaarious early S4 eps.); and his and Daphne's tender moments are just so soft and, well, tender. Thanksgiving: what an episode. Wow, loved it. The Crane men crying in their living room, the banter and baseball gags later with Freddy, and their reactions to Frasier's ham radio show were great! The Maris plotline isn't gone; buuuuuuuuuut Niles and the bird and Marta and the leadup to his question to Frasier and Frasier's honest answer (Ask Me No Questions) were worth it. Bebe was great, and Sherry was... well, she was Sherry. Writing on the wall that she wouldn't last long with Martin; but... I don't know, not my favorite sideplot. Not bad, but not my favorite. :D Roz had some EXCELLENT episodes. And I'm cycling back to Niles, but his and Daphne's ending convo in Mixed Doubles was really, really good.

S5: Roz is pregnant! Roz had a kid! That was quite a storyline. Great conversations throughout, great hijinks, great comedy. In a weird way, I'm glad her pregnancy wasn't made into a big "thing" other than the important points it brought to the plot. (The baby's grandparents-- I love them AND their noses. It just reaffirmed how nonplussed I am with noses, for some reason. XDD But the comedy.) Again, great Niles comedy-- with Maris, with his family-- and bittersweet realities as he finally drew away from his ex. The cruise episode-- priceless. Martin's birthday-- touching. Perspectives on Christmas-- great work (the gaps in Daphne's version! XDD) I was so, so, SO happy when Bulldog got exposed and beaten up by everybody. First Date, Roz and the Schnoz, and The Life of the Party were spectacular back-to-back episodes.

Wait, I SKIPPED an episode??? Apparently, I somehow missed Room Service; which I think? I know some spoilers for but all the same. Lilith's in it and I missed it????

Welp, going to definitely watch that this weekend. XDDD

For me, I think Season 3 and 4 hit a slump that Season 5 launched the show out of. At least, I noticed a shift in S3 that didn't quite jive as well as S1 and S2. S4 had its ups and downs; and S5 knocked it out of the park. Can't wait for Season 6~.

The Sherry sideplot isn't my favorite either, but I like the episode where she and Daphne fight so she goes to Niles' apartment. Mixed Doubles is such a funny, wonderful episode! My favorite moment from season 4 - apart from Ham Radio - is when Niles is in the bathroom at Frasier's and the Hot 'n' Foamy explodes. It's one of the funniest moments in the whole show and DHP plays it so well.

You need to watch Room Service! I love that episode. It definitely has Lilith in it. I agree with you on season 5. It's far better than season 4 and it's like the show found its groove again. The cruise episode is super funny. I love that. the Ski Lodge is super funny too. There are always so many good episodes! Though it has one of my least favorite episodes and that's Beware of the Greeks.

Season 6 once again has some of my favorite episodes. I hope you'll enjoy it too. More than that, though, I hope you're feeling better by now ❤️

[louisironson]

tv asks: Frasier, Seinfeld, MASH

all righty here we go!

Frasier

favorite character: niles and lilith are honestly tied, which is pretty impressive given that niles is in almost every episode and lilith shows up once a season max

funniest character: once again i have to give it to niles just because dhp’s sense of delivery and physical comedy is unmatched

best-looking character: ROZ AND LILITH don’t make me choose

3 favorite ships: niles/daphne forever obviouslyyyy, i can always go for roz/lilith, and just for fun frasier/cam winston they’re goofy

least favorite character: gertrude moon. let’s be honest daphne’s whole extended family. side note isn’t it wild that daphne’s dad is brian cox

least favorite ship: frasier/roz is just so boring to me. the show got it right they fuck once and go “huh nope never again”

reason why i watch it: i really do find it to be a smart and engaging show! it’s well-regarded for a reason and it’s because all of the writers very clearly were dedicated to their craft. shout out joe keenan ily joe keenan

why i started watching it: i like watching gay episodes of older shows and it turns out i really, really liked the matchmaker, and i just kept watching it, then ski lodge, then the doctor is out, and finally i said to myself “i should just be watching this whole show actually”. and i was right

Seinfeld

favorite character: i think i have to go with george on this one his specific brand of Being just rings so true. he sucks he’s doodoo and it’s very fun

funniest character: probably george again. he just hits my funny bone idk what to tell you

best-looking character: elaine! have you seen her.

3 favorite ships: the idea of having “ships” for this show full of the worst people in the worst relationships is a little laughable but george/any man is funny enough for me to consider

least favorite character: this one’s tough because most of the annoying characters are one-offs and so you don’t have time to resent their presence; they’re purely functional. sometimes they lean a little hard with newman

least favorite ship: the inverse of george/any man, which is of course jerry/any woman. he doesn’t deserve any of them, and i’m including elaine

reason why i watch it: i love shows full of people who suck and seinfeld got that shit right in an era where we were supposed to like our tv leads a lot more. for a show that’s hailed as being “about nothing” it’s somehow both mundane and full of plots that you could not get anywhere else. every time i think about the junior mint i just go. what the fuck.

why i started watching it: seinfeld is my one of my dad’s special interests so i was indoctrinated young

M*A*S*H

favorite character: benjamin franklin “hawkeye” pierce has quickly worked his way into my heart

funniest character: hawkeye again but tbh honorable mention to frank because something about him is just so stupid and goofy and it’s really hitting me lately. aw nertz you know

best-looking character: what was the one episode with radar and like the nurse who liked bach. i seem to remember her being exactly my type lol. and margaret

3 favorite ships: hawkeye really does need to fuck men. for enrichment. hunnihawk is classic, as is piercintyre, and my eyes have been opened to hawkeye/sidney. i wish i could talk about more women but i don’t want margaret to have to deal with any of these men and i haven’t met helen whitfield yet so i can’t speak to her. and there are sadly not nearly as many women on this show. its biggest flaw i’d say

least favorite character: i really don’t have one in mind they all generally work very effectively. i suppose that i think flagg is less fun to hate than, say, frank, but they serve very different purposes so i don’t mind that i react to them differently—flagg is recurring, not a regular, so it’s right that he’s best in small doses. is this enough of an answer

least favorite ship: cannot get behind hawkeye/radar. that’s literally his aunt you guys

reason why i watch it: i feel like it’s boring that i keep answering “it’s a really good and compelling piece of television” but why do you watch tv shows. because they’re good and you like them. that and i do suppose i like to see how gay of a sentence hawkeye can say without being questioned. (CAPTAIN SODOM??)

why i started watching it: it’s a classic of all classics. i’ve been on a real 70s sitcom kick and for whatever reason i was watching ones that were far far worse than mash and i was like i could be watching mash. so i did

[sucreboy-blog]

I was thinking about the DHP, if Grian wants to add to the (torture), I mean, realness of his building. He should add a line, that never moves on. You are just there in the sun for God knows how many hours, and when you finally are inside the building, another line.

Maybe add a website of the DHP, but never works or the next available date appointment is in three years.

Do you want to make it more insufferable? You are always missing something. "The requeriments ask for three copies of the permit" "You need a proof of adress" "We requeried three witness to finish this process"

[discworld-heritage-posts]

"May the road rise up to meet your feet" actually is a discworld quote, in addition to being a real phrase, at least I think it is. Granny Weatherwax has said it at least once. Although she says "Blessings be upon this house" more often, so maybe I should have said "Blessings be upon this blog"

Oh, so it was indeed said in a Discworld book! It also felt like something a witch would say, yeah. Thanks for the info!

[is-the-snake-video-cute]

i'm not sure if my ask got eaten or not so please forgive me for sending it a second time a few days later. do you have any opinions on deep heat projectors? i noticed you didn't mention them in your last question about heating, but did mention RHPs and CHEs. are those better, equal, or did you just not mention DHPs because they're not as well known/researched in the hobby yet?

I didn't mention them because they're still so new in the hobby! DHPs really have to be used differently than other heat sources if you want to get the best out of them - you want to intentionally place them above a basking spot, like a slate tile, so the DHP can heat the basking zone appropriately. I've also consistently found that, especially if you live in a chillier house, a DHP is often insufficient as the sole heat source.

I'm personally not the biggest fan of DHPs for most of my snakes. I use one in conjunction with a heat bulb for my Ackie monitor, and that works well for us. I don't like them for nocturnal snakes - nocturnal snakes don't tend to be big baskers, and I trialled a few of mine on DHPs a while back and I noticed decreased activity levels. The diurnal snakes I tried them with did better, but I didn't notice enough of a change to justify switching them to DHPs full-time.

I like DHPs in theory, but they're still so new I don't feel like I have a full grasp on their pros/cons yet, and I really haven't noticed much of a difference when compared with a standard heat bulb or a CHE. If you want to try one out, especially if you have a lizard who's a big basker, go for it! But I'd probably avoid them for nocturnal snakes, and I'd be prepared to possibly combine them with a secondary heat source.

[aajjks]

prisoner!kookie being together 24/7 with the person you love more than anything isn’t unhealthy! its love! i get that it was hard for you to be where you were but it was hard for me to figure out life without you! i could go the rest of my life never talking to anyone other than you! you don’t love me like i love you.. if you think that that’s unhealthy then maybe my love for has become unhealthy.. you loved me before you went to jail. jail changes a man and obviously you don’t want to be with me anymore.. besides, you deserve better than me, so.. yeah.. goodbye..

“What the fuck- fine I’ll stay here. That’s what you want right yn? I still love you goodness. I just wanted to hang out with my friends… you just never wanted me so badly yn. And please you can’t go on without talking to other people than me. That’s impossible.”

[nilescraneisaforevermood]

Don't ask why, but I'm listening to a Dr. Seuss audiobook and DHP reads several of them and if you think I can do anything but imagine Niles reading to David, you are sorely mistaken.

[jesterbells]

The Niles and Daphne show

So, background: some friends and I used to watch Down With Love a lot and I became a fan of David Hyde Pierce (he’s the modern Danny Kaye or Donald O’Connor--he can act, sing, dance, and be funny at the same time). Anyway, when I came home from school and turned on the TV, two shows were always on: M*A*S*H and Frasier. I saw Niles and was like “What’s DHP doing in this sitcom?” and started to watch. I quickly became intrigued by the subplot featuring Niles and Daphne, and looked up a list of every episode featuring it, and made a list. This being before streaming, I checked the TV schedule and saw that all of those episodes were on TV within the next two weeks. So I recorded them and watched them in order, and discovered that it formed a really excellent show with a satisfying overarching plot and character development, and got more invested in that than in the rest of Frasier. So now I go back and re-watch what I call The Niles and Daphne show. I’m always trying to get more people into this tiny fandom. So in view of that, I present my curated watch list of Frasier, A.K.A. The Niles and Daphne show:

A list of Frasier episodes that are essential to the arc of the Niles and Daphne plotline:

• “Dinner at Eight” • “A Mid-Winter Night’s Dream” • “My Coffee With Niles” • “An Affair to Forget” • “Kisses Sweeter Than Wine” • “The Last Time I Saw Maris” • “Come Lie with Me” • “Moon Dance” • “The Two Mrs. Cranes” • “Mixed Doubles” • “Daphne Hates Sherry” • “Are You Being Served?” • “Ask Me No Questions” • “Halloween” • “Voyage of the Damned” • “The Maris Counselor” • “The Ski Lodge” • “First Date” • “Dial M for Martin” • “Secret Admirer” • “How to Bury a Millionaire” • “To Tell the Truth” • “Decoys” • “Taps at the Montana” • “Visions of Daphne” • “Shutout in Seattle (part 1)” • “Shutout in Seattle (part 2)” • “Father of the Bride” • “The Late Dr. Crane” • “Back Talk” • “The Fight Before Christmas” • “Big Crane on Campus”* • “Whine Club” • “To Thine Old Self Be True” • “The Three Faces of Frasier”* • “The Dark Side of the Moon” • “Something Borrowed, Something Blue (part 1)” • “Something Borrowed, Something Blue (part 2)” • “And the Dish Ran Away with the Spoon (part 1)” • “And the Dish Ran Away with the Spoon (part 2)” • “The Bad Son” • “The Great Crane Robbery” • “Taking Liberties” • “Legal Tender Love and Care” • “Frasier’s Edge” • “Hungry Heart” • “Daphne Returns” • “The First Temptation of Daphne” • “Mother Load (part 1)” • “Mother Load (part 2)” • “The Proposal” • “The Guilt Trippers” • “Moons Over Seattle” • “The Ring Cycle” • “Bristle While You Work” • “Rooms with a View” • “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart” • “Daphne Does Dinner” • “No Sex Please, We’re Skittish” • “Maris Returns” • “Murder Most Maris” • “Crock Tales” • “Goodnight, Seattle (part 1)” • “Goodnight, Seattle (part 1)”

*optional additions--a few significant scenes but no big changes, and most of the episode is focused on something else

[smartsewa]

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