#diane grant

[george-wexford-smythe-iii]

hi!! first post here!!

made this blog because i recently rewatched the bruno and boots movies and started reading the books, and it's safe to say i haven't stopped thinking about them <3

my favorite characters: bruno, george, chris, wilbur, sturgeon, cathy (though i love everybody else too!! these r just my faves)

my ships: wilbur x chris, george x bruno (bruno x boots is kinda meh for me), and cathy x diane

expect art, fics, screenshots, and other things relating to these characters/ships^^

[botoxblondee]

underrated 80s it girl

[prettyprincess02]

Diane nguyen understands me more than my mother ever will which is pretty much what its like being a sixteen year old teenage girl

[unisnake]

How did you chip your tooth?

Some joke that I broke because I bit into a push-pop... But in reality... I got it because I was whacked with a rake when I was very young. In elementary school.

All I did was ask a bunch of kids if they wanted to play with me. They freaked, and the next thing I knew there was a janitor with a rake after me.

Snakes can replace and regrow teeth, but that would require removing the tooth first.

I didn't. Because I use the tooth as a reminder, that the world can be cruel and hurt you when you let your guard down.

[pixelgraphite]

2022 Reading Roundup: Favorite Wyrd Reads

Honorable mention: Ezra Rose’s great zine FYMA: A Lesser Key to the Appropriation of Jewish Magic & Mysticism. I read this zine between The Magical Revival & selections on Babalon for occult book club. It’s stuck in my memory, stubbornly staring me in the face every time I encounter the appropriation of Hebrew & other anitsemitism in the “Western esoteric tradition” (basically all the time). Essential reading for anyone interested in the occult.

[bojackhorsemanobviously]

I miss Diane

[theflirtmeister]

so glad im not a politician in parliament because i would legit start throwing things 

[mattzerella-sticks]

I hope WBD has Diane Guerrero lined up for another role within the DC Universe because I know Disney would not let an opportunity pass them by to snatch her up for either Star Wars or the MCU.

[zypiris]

I had a dream, which really stuck with me. That’s normal for me, I have full ass movie plots. This was right after I started looking into aromantic stuff for my story and got blindsided (again) with a lot of “Hey, that sure sounds familiar”. I have given up trying to figure out what any of my gender or sexuality is doing. It can work it out and then tell me. Anyways, I spent about 5 hours writing out my dream, fighting the ADHD the entire way, and I wanted to clean it up before I posted it but... that was a month ago. Have fun.

We were finishing up a mission on an RV and were visiting the new burger king. There was a nice dog. We rode home and saw this guy surfing on tires, complete with rims, down the highway via a rope attached to the car pulling him. My team and I were outraged that he was flaunting road safety, there were sparks everywhere. We go to follow him and the car is putting out a full pyrotechnic display. There are fireworks and flame towers. And this guy's just cruising along on various none-road safe items. The car starts trying to bump us. But we're an RV. It has no hope in hell. We finally chase them across several highways into the hills. The RV and this smug bastard are neck to neck. And then he lifts his helmet and we realize its the British superhero 00X who has telekinesis. We worked with him. Earlier today, in fact. We were allies. There is searing rage and burning betrayal.

And then I jump back in time. We're working well with him. As a cat themed hero, I'm great at doing distractions or sudden attacks from behind, and we often get paired so he can get me to a place that's "completely impossible to access". Our tech guy Wade is a super genius and has been finding lots of a new symbol in hacks of locked systems. We've been thrown together to investigate, with us being the hired team to perform recon and up to a grade B attempt to stop, and him having security clearance/trusted status with several of the companies and countries who have been hit.

Our leader is Red Ranger, who has fighting powers and the ability to summon a lightsaber for some reason. They never leave their armor suit. They're excited we've gotten a chance to get attention on something this high profile. We also have their girlfriend, Blossom, who can grow, control, hear through, and genetically manipulate plants in real time. The only reason we had her was her relationship with RR, otherwise she would have already been assigned to a national level team. (we're town level still). So, we're working well with 00X, and have gotten access to a 'completely normal' ice company in Canada. Turns out to be the secret lair of another super genius, a villain hacker who is trying to control the worlds hockey leagues. 00X takes me in to scout, and the twist is that the computer hacker is also a giant computer brain (which is why it was lairing in ice).

We don't have the team or support for a multinational case like this, so we quietly withdraw and turn it over to some major leaguers. We'd get the info bonus, but none of the publicity. So, my team and 00X were traveling back to our meet-up point, where 00X had stashed his car, and talking about what the reaction would be if we leaked the story to the papers. I was sad he was leaving because we were a good team, and usually I was too ineffective to be much use. I had the power to... jump. About 7 feet. Nobody talked about it but if we did get picked up, it would be them and not me. The insurance would never cover me, I was "too unpowered to defend and protect self".

I tried not to let it hurt, the scholarships would get me into the future of my choice. But once I burned my mask, I wasn't allowed to interact with heroes anymore, and I was going to miss my team. Heroing eats your time so much, they're usually your only friends. So, we waved a sad farewell, and as we all went to climb back into the RV I found a scrap of paper with 00X's private number on it asking me on a date. That was surprising. And flattering. But not exciting. Something to think about off the clock. We were heading over to Burger King to grab dinner.

Then I jump forward in time. 00X is careening away from us on a road too narrow to follow. We are left stunned and in shock. What was the point of that? Why is this going on? There's a loud click from the front of the RV. Wade usually drives it by radio control, so no one noticed there was a large camcorder in the stairs next to the door. We open it to find footage of us, taken as we work and plan and joke together with 00X. How our powers work, what our personalities are, the stuff that makes us angry and upset. Hours of footage. Was this all a spy op for a foreign power? WHAT was going on? How did he get the footage? How did it get on the RV?? We all agree it was not there or anywhere near there when we got on after Burger King. And none of us ever saw a camera, not that that's a huge comfort these days. But the angles he'd gotten, the close-ups...

Wade fast forwards to the end. Our faces stop and change to his. He lectures us all for being naive, for thinking that someone of HIS class would associate with US for no reason. It hurts to hear, Blossom is very indignant and RR is talking about their failure as team leader. And it hurts me, a little. Was the date for intelligence gathering? Or... much more bizarrely, was it genuine? Did he expect me to pick him over my friends? I realize this is finally something I can do, something only I can do. I jump out of the skylight.

He catches me at the height of my arc, and vwoops me up on the hill overlooking the pass where the RV had gotten stuck. He had been waiting for me, specifically. He was so glad I'd come. I spoke cautiously and asked what he thought he could offer me that would make me turn heel. They had much higher insurance premiums because of blatantly discriminatory reasons. He told me to give him my hand. I was too curious to turn this down, so I did. He pinched his fingers out in front of us, and there was a shining thread I could see between them. He pulled it and then vanished. I could still feel his hand holding mine but he was truly invisible. That was a pretty high level power, and mostly of the 'just really good camouflage' sort.

Fingers snapped and he came back, and said he could show me how to do that along with walking through walls. I was so excited. I'd actually get a choice in how my life went. If another of us classed up, we'd be automatically bumped up for a trial period. The RV was now turning around to head back to town. Then he slid a ring on my finger and said that wasn't the only thing he could show me. It was a little loose and I was worried it'd fall off and 00X would take it as a bad omen.

So, I smiled and asked when we'd get started, and he said right now. He showed me how to pinch the walls of reality, so I could break through them. I could turn invisible, reach through objects and people, climb shear cliffs, and run on water by the time it got dark out. We climbed down from the road to the river at the bottom, and I got familiar with how everything worked. He said there was one more thing to learn, and that would be for tomorrow when I was rested. I asked how much he had practiced pinching to stand in thin air. We had sex.

The next day, he came to meet me at my house. I hadn't gotten in costume yet and he was in civvies. He said his name was James, and that was why he'd picked his codename. His liaison had kept trying to talk him out of it because it was dorky and too easy to guess, but he stuck with it. I told him my real name. I was still wearing the ring. I was starting to wonder if I'd be able to turn back when the time came.

We got suited up and vanished. He took me to the ice factory where we'd found the hacker computer. We hid behind cars until everyone was gone, and then we snuck into this ice closet. There was a clock on the wall, and he showed me how to pinch through time. It was amazing We went back to the morning of yesterday. I looked to him, he nodded. We left and showed up at the meet up place before my time from yesterday/today came. He handed me the camcorder and asked if I'd be ok holding myself invisible all day. I was thrilled to be able to test my new abilities.

The RV got here, and soon after came yesterday's 00X. I went invisible and climbed onboard the RV while everyone was saying hello, and got myself up on a shelf out of the way. I took video of everyone and myself. It was so weird to see myself outside a mirror. I made sure I spent an equal time on everyone except the old 00X, who I found staring in my direction periodically. I wondered if he was actually from my tomorrow. The time came for them to storm the ice factory. I didn't really know what to do with myself while they were gone, but I knew I needed to be around so I could drop the camera off after the Burger King chase. James had told me you could pinch forward anywhere and only back from the closet, but I didn't want to risk it.

After about 5 minutes, James pinched in to the locked RV and gave me the plan. The car hitting into the RV was actually my signal to drop the camcorder in the stairwell and jump over. He was going to be driving the car while past him undertook stupid, attention grabbing shenanigans. He pinched me forward to when everyone returned, and we drove to town commiserating about having to give the glory up. The jokes and snide remarks about leaking the story seemed plain and tawdry now. I made sure to record a little of that, too. The RV dropped the past James off and rumbled on to the Burger King. It was odd to see things a second time.

There was me looking thoughtful because I'd gotten asked on a date. Here I was at the same time with a ring already on my finger. I still didn't know how I felt. They got the food, they pet the dog. It was nostalgic and innocent and small time. Everyone settled, and I dropped the camcorder in the stairwell. We headed toward home. The maniac flew by, sparks showering everywhere. I moved through the front door and waited for my moment. James started racing us. Now that I was looking at the car and not the highway surfer, it was easy to see him.

It all happened. We drove off and got the RV cornered, everyone watched the tape. I was lured out. Turns out I was the one who told him when to expect me. I saw the determination on my face to make the most of what I'd been given and help my team out. James and I went back down to the RV to hitch a ride back to town. No sense freaking past me out. We went back into town and talked about the excitement. I wondered whether this was really me, and if it was what I wanted.

I asked James about the closet in the ice factory. How had he figured it out? Was it the only one? He asked me why I wanted to know. I held up the ring and mentioned that heroes don't get vacations, but we could always make our own. It wasn't exactly a lie. He told about how he kept it locked, if only so there wouldn't be people in there when he needed to use it. We had sex again, in the parked RV outside of Wade's house while they were probably questioning where I had gone and if I had been in on it all along. I wondered if they thought 00X had turned me while we were alone together. It hurt to think about.

I talk him in to taking me to the room, so we can have a vacation and get to learn about each other without having to rush so much. We decide to take a week the first time. As soon as we've gone back, I pinch forward 5 days so I can look around the day before my team and 00X were supposed to go through.

I pinched invisible and headed out. I do it differently than how James showed me, slipping into the ceiling so no one can see me if we run into each other. I follow the back halls my team will take to get to the brain in the middle. When I get there, the computer brain is open. There's a huge villain scale monitor.

No minions in here, so it was too important to be interrupted. And here's James' voice, the day before we're supposed to meet. He's in a rush. He goes to the monitor and apologizes for being late. A glowing pink goo blob appears. It talks about how he has no excuse, with the secrets of the universe at his fingers. How it took him from nothing to having all he wanted, and all it had asked for was occasional help. He apologized again and said he'd been watching again, because he knows how much they both want to get this right.

It accepts and apologizes for speaking harshly. It shouldn't have judged. They talk about tomorrow being the day, the big day finally and I realize they're talking about us. James mentions having a good feeling about one of them. About how this is going to pay off the last 6 months of surveillance. How I'LL help them turn the team, and then work out from there.

The future will be peace and understanding, as everyone will be able to pinch for problem solving. We'll enter an age of culture and art.

I slip back into the ceiling and think. I look at the ring. I remember Wade, and RR, and Blossom, all supporting me over the years we've worked together. I know exactly where each of them are right now. I know what I need to do.

[screenzealots]

"Easter Bloody Easter"

Blending Southern-fried stereotypes with low-budget horror charm, this goofball of a holiday movie has the makings of a corny cult classic.

Blending Southern-fried stereotypes with low-budget horror charm, “Easter Bloody Easter” has the makings of a corny cult classic. This silly and satisfying goofball of a movie boasts cheap (and hilarious) special effects, over-the-top musical numbers, and a rabbit suit that is the chef’s kiss of kitschy perfection. In this female-forward story about unlikely heroes, Jeanie (Diane Foster, who…

[horrorpatch]

EASTER BLOODY EASTER (2024) Film Review!

Starring: Diane Foster, Kelly Grant, Allison Lobel, Zuri Starks, D’Andre Noiré Directed by: Diane Foster Written by: Allison Lobel Runtime: 104 minutes Rated: None (Contains mild violence & gore) Reviewed by Michael Juvinall – Horror Patch The Easter holiday only had a handful of horror films that get in on the holy shenanigans, but we are seeing increasingly more come out every year. This…

[perfettamentechic]

27 marzo … ricordiamo …

27 marzo … ricordiamo … #semprevivineiricordi #nomidaricordare #personaggiimportanti #perfettamentechic

2023: Gianni Minà, giornalista, scrittore e conduttore televisivo italiano. Annoverato tra i più importanti giornalisti italiani, collaborò con quotidiani e settimanali italiani e stranieri, realizzò centinaia di reportage per la Rai, ideò e condusse programmi televisivi, girò film documentari. Iniziò la carriera giornalistica in ambito sportivo nel 1959 a Tuttosport. Nel 1983 recitò il ruolo di…

[moviesandmania]

EASTER BLOODY EASTER Cheesy comedy horror - preview with trailer

‘Hoppy hunting!’ Easter Bloody Easter is a 2024 cheesy comedy horror film about a housewife battling the Jackalope and his army of devilish bunnies as they embark on a murder spree over the Easter weekend. Directed by and starring Diane Foster from a screenplay written by co-producer Allison Lobel. Also produced by Will Amato, Rafi Jacobs, Liana Montemayor and Mitch Olson. The American WallyBird…

[partycatty]

Johnny cage and mayB some others being mind numbingly in love

Like they talk to reader and everytime just feel so stupid afterwards because theyre so in love and do stupid shit to impress

i love stupid men anon this works so well for me

johnny, raiden, kung lao, syzoth > stupid in love

warnings: big stupid hot sexy men (what else is new?), bojack horseman minor spoiler?? LMFOAMOF

+ bonus surprise character at the very end

masterlist

johnny >

• have you guys LMAO have you guys seen the. DLGHSDKJ the episode of bojack horseman where bojack gives diane the D in from the hollywood sign?? johnny is SO extra like that and for WHAT.

• OR YOU GUYS KNOW WHEN TODDLERS LIKE REALLY WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING AND THEY JUST KEEP SAYING "LOOKIT" LMFAFOIFMOA

• "reader, reader are you watching - reader, reader watch -" as he's like about to absolutely FUCK UP a nerds rope or some stupid shit

• okay i'll be fr. johnny is by far the most concerningly extra of the entire group. he will put himself in stupid danger just to impress you.

• "watch me take on all these guys at once!" he'll call out to you during your time at the academy, surrounded by a dozen monks. he's in a sling and bandages the next day.

• "kenshi, i bet you sento that i can jump from the roof like bi-han did!" BAM.

• he'd randomly give you expensive gifts out of absolutely nowhere. or he'd give his one of many glasses away to you because he "has no use for them" or they're "out of style" (he's lying, he just wants to see you wear something that's his).

• oh? you briefly mention you're a tad chilly during training? oh no, johnny's top fell off, i guess he has to give it to you now. you know, to stay warm. oh, you don't want his top? okay, here's a comically fluffy, expensive coat! and it just so happens to be your size...!

• lowkey i headcanon johnny as, despite being an actor, pretty blushy if someone matches his energy or really gets under his skin. you'll pass by him with a witty comment about his fighting style, or even just to tell him he cleaned up nice after getting his ass kicked by raiden. johnny just stands there with steam spitting from his red ears, hand on his chest as he fights a stupid grin.

• he is down ASTRONOMICALLY. not even the elder gods can stop this man from being so drunk in love when you're around. he makes it everyone's problem.

raiden >

• we see how flustered he gets when he's called out by kitana. he's a grown man with dick and balls but he's also flustered very easily! he'll be decently vocal about his affection for you, but then word trickles down to your ear, at which point it's so over for him.

• walks into walls when he's so entranced by you training. like face first into a wall, his hat fluttering to the ground. kung lao loses it.

• he can't even hear what you're saying when you speak to him, it sounds like an angel muffled by the clouds of heaven. raiden's also not the greatest with his powers granted by the amulet. if you go in to touch his arm playfully, a jolt of electricity pricks your palm and you yelp. raiden can only sputter apologies as he bows down, his cheeks tinted.

• he's the type to do little favors for you, ones you barely notice. your spot at the table is tidied, the training dummy is prepped for your fighting style, or he's the first one to bring you something if you forget it. that, and tiny favors to butter you up to him.

• "reader, you said you were nauseous last training. i prepared you some tea," he'd slide the small cup over to you, fighting a goofy smile. he rehearsed his script a few times, so he sounded more static than intended.

• will ask you questions about training or the weather just to hear your voice. he couldn't even recall what you were saying, he just loved the way your lips moved.

• kung lao pokes at him for this often, nudging him or making comments about you being his partner when you're not. raiden will stomp on his foot to keep him from talking about his infatuation if you're around. as if you don't already know.

kung lao >

• he's totally the bouncing on his heels type of man. he'll stare at you with a stupid grin, like a kid in a candy store.

• "was there something you needed, kung lao?" you'd ask as you tended to your own duties, organizing various equipment into baskets.

• "ah, no, not at all," he'd wave you off with a grin. "just enjoying... the view."

• you cringe at his words, chuckling to yourself as he speaks you in a daze. his mouth runs off before his brain can stop it from happening, so his biggest downfall with his crush is yapping. he'll sit there and explain his family history to you, or how much he hated farming cabbage, or his favorite meal at madam bo's just to keep you around long enough.

• kung lao always has this desire to keep you close by, so he continuously does stupid shit to keep you by his side. including but not limited to accidentally slicing his hands on his hat, one that he swore was a genius idea. in concept, probably.

• he wants to impress you so bad. SO BAD. anything he does is deserving of a bragging right if he's the one to do it. lao would totally try to shrug it off so you could gas him up more. any compliment, forced or not, was music to his ears.

• "yeah, i totally beat raiden," he'll check his nails nonchalantly as he leans against the wall, telling you the story of the cabbage competition for dinner against his best friend. "really swept him."

• "that's just not true," raiden would try to interject when he heard lao's version of the story. kung lao just holds eye contact with you, grinning, as he shoves raiden aside by his face.

syzoth >

• im sorry IM SORRY BUT I JUST LOVE THE HC THAT HIS TAIL WAGS I KNOW THATS NOT HOW THAT WORKS JUST- JUST BEAR WITH ME.

• you hear thumping when you're around, though you're never able to find out where it's coming from, so you chalk it up to the monks landing blows against the wooden dummies.

• but the sound lingers when you're at dinner. the table is... rattling.

• you look up to see if anyone else notices or if you were hit too hard during training. but, you see everyone staring past you. just down the table, syzoth is sitting with a pile of bugs on his plate, his tail thumping in and out of view.

• "syzoth," kenshi will gently say, leaning into his ear to whisper something. syzoth flushes a green tint and tries to resume to his meal, the bugs scurrying out of his chopsticks as he struggles to keep it together.

• out of respect for his dignity, you hold your tongue at his obvious affection. syzoth tries to keep it under wraps but he can't help it when you're just so cute!

• he'll stand close by you, inching closer and closer until you notice. he'll slip you little trinkets and flora with a small smile. anything from a rock that matches the shades of your eye, to a flower he picked by the gardens, to a stick. a nice stick, to be fair! you wonder if this is zaterran courtship.

• "it reminded me of you," he'd lean into your ear. your bedside table is decorated with various... outside decor.

BONUS! kitana >

• kitana knew she couldn't get entangled with the umgadi after seeing how risky mileena is with tanya, but my god were you breathtaking.

• you would often accompany her in the carriages as she waved to her people, eyes transfixed on her. you're devoted to her protection. it is your god-given duty. your eye contact was too much at times, and kitana would often catch herself staring at you, her hand suspended in the air. she'd forget to wave.

• "is everything alright, my princess?" you would ask innocently, in a low tone to avoid raising suspicion. kitana's mind short circuits when you call her... yours. even if you're referring to the umgadi's worship. she shakes her head and clears her throat, pulling her mask up higher to conceal her blush.

• if she were to give speeches on her mother's behalf or otherwise, she'd find herself forgetting what the rehearsed, or hell, struggling to rehearse. you were the one she'd come to for help with speeches, yet you made things ten times harder when you'd lean in to listen to her better. it makes her mind absolutely numb.

• "and you tell me to steer away from the umgadi," mileena would rasp into her ear as the sister sat on their thrones, you positioned by her side and eyes forward. "it seems you picked a favorite, sister."

• "i'm not the only guilty one," she'd hiss back to her sister, nodding at tanya. "it won't get in the way of duties, as long as mother doesn't know."

• you'd fight to netherrealm and back for your princess. as you fight off intruders or threats, kitana forgets to escape, instead transfixed on the way your muscles would contract and flex with each blow.

• she wants to be the one to care for your wounds. the power imbalance means nothing to her, you're her equal.

[thedarkrose17]

Been thinking I guess about the ble///nder models I've been trying to do

Not touched the a///c or so///nic o///c model cause it's been too hot to function 😅 I'm hoping that now it's cooled a tad maybe I can try again at some point. I don't wanna say on a day I'm gonna do it cause I probably won't and then feel bad about it

[freak-accident419]

Good Tidings

Josh Futturman x GN!Reader

Summary: You and Josh barely have any time to yourselves due time traveling nonstop, trying to save the fate of humanity. However, being at the Futturman’s Christmas dinner party granted you two a fair amount of time.

Word Count: 2.9k

Content: 18+ Smut, MDNI, gender neutral reader (no genitals specified, it’s just vague penetration), cockwarming, lots of fluff, takes place during Future Man S1E6 “A Blowjob Before Dying”, too much shitty sex jokes n puns (im sorry) (not), giddy+silly+sweet love making, you think you are sooo fucking funny, more goofy than serious/lustful, you two are very much in love, more plot (high ass dialogue) than porn tbh

(A/n: Merry Christmas to those who celebrate!! Hope you enjoy this muahahaha and thank you all for your recent support! First smut written on this account, so be gentle with me please !)

-

You, Tiger, Wolf, and Josh were at the Futturman household, schedule disrupted due to the reluctance of Josh’s parents. They insisted that you all join them for their small Christmas dinner party. You were all sat down at the dining table, as well as the neighbors, Josh’s Uncle Barry, and Diane’s friend, Wanda (who was especially invited to perhaps keep Barry at bay).

While Tiger was mostly impatient and displeased with every mindless convo and laughter, talk revolved around several topics like DNA kits or Wolf’s strangely fascinating culinary.

You sat beside your boyfriend, Josh, slightly nervous about the time you were wasting. Ever since you’ve been dragged into the whole ‘Biotic Wars is real’ and ‘kill or be killed’ shit, you and Josh have been dealing with the worst, unimaginable shit ever. With the two of your adrenaline wearing off, you gradually processed everything that’s happened the past few days since you were never given a break. Hence the hand holding under the table as you two would seek comfort from one another.

But you attempted to distract yourself from the deaths you’ve witnessed and the near-death experiences you’ve had to your best ability by indulging in every conversation.

“Gabe, honey, tell them about—about the recent fishing trip we went on,” Josh’s mother, Diane encouraged to her husband with her sweet, achingly kind voice. You had so much respect for Josh’s parents, so it was pretty easy for you all to hit it off well. They loved you. In fact, they were heavily relieved that Josh had finally found someone, let alone someone as amazing as you.

Gabe let out a hearty chuckle as he prepared himself to tell the table his story.

“So, a couple of days ago, Diane and I went on a small fishing trip. And I remembered an old trick back in the day that attracted a lot of trout,” he explained as you picked up your glass of wine, sipping some generously. Diane smiled at him with a nod as he continued. “One of the very efficient ways to go about fish bait is blowing worms.”

You choke on your wine, holding in a laugh, coughing a bit instead as Josh looks at you with a knowing smile. “I’m sorry, what?” You asked, trying not to grin too widely. Did you hear that right?

“Blowing worms,” Gabe repeated, getting a confined chuckle out of you and Josh. “You inflate the worms with air, which makes them float instead of having your bait be at the very bottom. It’s perfect, especially near the winter time. Worked like a charm.”

“Ohh,” you gasp in wonder. You chuckle to yourself before you spontaneously say, “Yeah, actually, I think I did do that a few times. Blew a-a worm.”

You looked at Josh, thinking you were being hilarious, but he looked at you with surprised eyes and parted lips of shock that slowly transitioned into a smile.

“Really?” Josh’s father expressed with intrigue. “I didn’t even know you fish. You have someone teach you that method, or—”

“Oh, no, Mr. Futturman, I,” you speak as you occasionally switch from looking at him to Josh. “I think it’s a very popular method. It’s a pretty natural instinct, you know? Blowing worms, that is.”

“Wow, really? Always thought it was an old-fashioned sort of thing.”

“Nah, far from old-fashioned, it’s almost contemptuous!”

You did pretty well at suppressing your laughter, because you sounded really earnest. Josh covered his mouth, amused by your subtle humor.

“Joshy, we didn’t know that Y/n likes fishing. We could’ve taken them on our trip. In fact, we could’ve all went,” Diane suggests as she looked at Josh and then you.

It was like everyone at the table was blind to your immature, yet humorous implication. Except, of course, your boyfriend.

“Oh, no worries, Mrs. Futturman,” you insisted kindly. “I don’t usually fish. Plus, blowing worms can be very exhausting.”

“Y/n—” Josh reacted, but interrupted himself with a suppressed laugh.

“You think so?” Mr. Futturman raised an eyebrow. “I just stick a syringe in them, inflate it, and bam, it’s all thick and ready to g—”

You and Josh burst out laughing, holding onto the table and each other. You swore there were slight tears coming out of your eyes as both of your faces were red. You felt overjoyed to feel happiness and delight for the first time ever since your involvement in the mission. And you felt even more glad that it was your boyfriend that you fooled around with.

“Sorry, sorry,” Josh says after his laughter died down as the entire table was confused. “I just—We just thought about a, um, moment when—Um… Actually, Y/n and I did go fishing once. Isn’t that—isn’t that right?”

You nod and go along with it, detaining your giggles.

“Well, anyways, we actually did that method, and yeah, you’re right, it works like a charm!” He exclaimed with joy as his parents smile at him with approval and pride.

“Bet the worm was pretty small, huh?” Tiger jumped in wittily, however, in a coldly nonchalant manner.

“And pathetic!” Wolf blurted.

“Hey, even if that might’ve been true—might’ve—it-it probably had a personality, you know?” He reckoned with a shrug, making you laugh again.

***

“You are—are fucking terrible, you know that?” Josh quickly muttered under his breath as you two continued to kiss each other deeply on his bed. “Those were my parents.”

“C’mon, baby, admit it, it was comedy gold,” you giggle, pressing your lips to his once more by tugging his black, skinny necktie towards you as you remained sitting on his lap.

The dinner party was still going on downstairs. After a long time of looking at each other longingly at the table, you two decided to excuse yourselves in order to “prepare gifts for Josh’s coworkers that he forgotten to wrap” in his room.

When you guys rushed in his room, you couldn’t take your hands off each other, immediately making out once the door was locked. However, you then had to close all his blinds before you met him back on the bed. This wasn’t new to you, none of it was. The soft, warm orange that his room’s light emitted strangely comforted you, as well as being back on his soft, spacey mattress.

Was it a good idea to leave Tiger and Wolf alone with Josh’s family and company? Probably not. But you’ve taught them enough shit. They tolerate Josh’s parents, so why not a few other guests as well? And you’ll only be gone for no longer than five minutes, you’d hoped.

You bring your hands to his pants, attempting to unbuckle his belt. “Shit—What the—What the fuck is this?” You grumble, Josh laughing at you as you struggle.

“I think it’s—” He giggled, bringing his own hands to his belt, trying to remove it, pulling. “I think it’s stuck.”

“What the shit?” You wheeze. “Fuckin’—Fuckin’ cock block!” You continue to mess with the belt, trying your best to unbuckle it.

“Wait, you—you’re almost there, you—”

“Oh my god! Holy shit! I got it!” You let out a surprised gasp, quickly unbuttoning and unzipping his pants right after.

“Oh shit! Flawless victory!” He exclaimed, making you stop in your tracks, looking back up at him.

“You did not just quote Mortal Kombat because I successfully unbuckled your belt,” you raise an eyebrow, nevertheless amused by his dorkiness.

“Maybe,” he answered smugly.

“You’re lucky I am in love with you, otherwise, I probably wouldn’t have let that slide,” you chuckle.

“Oh, come on. You’d love my video game references either way,” he insisted.

“I’m serious, Josh, the amount of things I’ve let slide because I love you is kind of crazy. Let me just say, I am so glad I met you after the ‘apple juice’ incident that Ray told me about.”

“Ray told you about that?”

“He told me a lot of things. Mostly the embarrassing things. I think he wanted to freak me out, you know? Always thought I was too good for you.”

You pulled his pants off, throwing it carelessly down on the floor. Your lips attached once more as he snickered as you then cupped his face with your warm hands. You look at your lover, his big, brown, desperate eyes looking at you with utmost adoration. “Well, jokes on him, he was entirely wrong. You are so good to me, you know that?”

He smiles at you softly, and you could sense how flustered he felt to hear that (the blushing patently gave it away). “You’re the one who’s been on my side since forever. Even when you got involved in all this shit that you didn’t even have to be in. You-You could’ve called me crazy, and-and broken up with me, but you believed me and stayed by my side, even knowing that things were gonna get dirty. And they did, get really dirty.” Rest in peace Janis and Carl? Or, rather, die, you evil perf-cocks? Eh, doesn’t fucking matter. “You’re so good for me, sometimes I can’t believe you’re even real.”

You giggle sweetly as you give him another kiss, a quiet smack caused by your lips deftly leaving his own to speak. “Well, I’m here and I’m real, and I’ll always be there for you, baby,” you reassure. You were perfect for him. Indefinitely.

He smiled blissfully. “I love you so much.”

You two made out passionately until you were laying under him, the lower halves of your bodies bare as you discarded the necessary clothes.

“Do you think your parents and everyone else knew about the worm thing or are they just that… I don’t know… clueless?” You asked endearingly under your breath as your fingers entangle in his soft, brown hair.

“Hmm. Possibly,” he reckons, raising his eyebrows as he thought about it. “That was still kind of evil of you, though.”

“Me, personally, I thought it was hilarious.”

“Blowing worms?”

“C’mon, your father set himself up for that.”

“Tiger called it small,” he muttered lamentably. “And Wolf said it was pathetic.”

“Jeez, whatever happened to personality?” You chuckle softly.

He sighed. “They still sort of called me out.”

“Shut up. It’s average, to say the least. Doesn’t matter either way, you’re enough.”

“But—”

“Josh, if it bothers you this much, then just prove them wrong right now,” you reply with a laugh.

“As in—?”

“Josh, c’mon, we don’t have time anyways. They’re expecting us any minute because of that shitty made-up story excuse. I love foreplay, dude, but I’m pretty sure we didn’t acknowledge the time at all. Quickies are definitely not our cup of tea. Y—” Your breath hitched as you felt his tip prod at your sensitive entrance. He gave you a soft, comforting kiss on the nose. You looked into each other’s eyes deeply, then your lips crashed into each other’s as the two of you stifled your moans once Josh finally thrusted in.

“Y-You know you’re p-perfect just the—mm—way you are, right?” You ask gently, wrapping your arms around his neck.

He smiled at this, kissing your lips once more, beginning to move. Your heart fluttered each second you felt him thrust in and out, slightly and satisfyingly stretching you. His hips moved quite skillfully, but also slightly clumsily, which was nonetheless admirable.

Your usual soft moans and gasps would be replaced by stifled grunts and sighs, due to the company downstairs. As much as you wanted the whole world to know that Josh Futturman was yours and only yours, you also had dignity—plus, it was his goddamn parents downstairs.

You giggled as you felt his nose against yours each rough kiss. “Y-You know, however, I think the only complaint I have about you is the fact that you hate Super Mario Bros.” You point out with a chuckle.

“Y/n, in my—agh—defense, it literally makes no sense. Like, why would there be pipes that are—”

“Okay, why rely solely on logic and rationality, hm, Futturman? I thought video games were all about escape. It’s all just harmless fun.”

“Yeah, well, I’m much more into games with thought-out plots and challenges,” he remarked, making you roll your eyes playfully. “Anyways, it pretty much just got ruined for me even more when Tracy at the video game store talked about Luigi having a very hairy, Italian cock.”

You raise an eyebrow.

“Baby, I love you. However, your goddamn dick is currently inside of me. Please do not talk about Luigi’s theoretic hairy penis.”

“Noted,” he assents, going back to kissing you passionately, while moving slowly inside of you, yet deeper with each thrust. You let out a quiet, pleasured gasp as you felt him fill you perfectly, his hands lovingly gripping your waist to keep you still.

Your eyes closed as you indulged in the feeling of his gentle thrusts, him peppering kisses on your neck, softly chuckling under his breath. He guessed he was still in disbelief that he had someone as amazing as you.

“I… I still can’t believe someone as perfect as you would ever go out with a loser like me,” he scoffed, pressing more kisses against your neck and jaw.

“Hey, seriously?” You frown, holding his face in your hands once more, stroking his cheeks with your thumbs. “You are… a lot of things, Josh. But a loser isn’t one of them. Okay? You are so kind and funny and caring and thoughtful a-and—m-mm—amazing i-in general.”

“I—Fuck. I—I don’t deserve you,” he panted.

“J-Jesus Christ, sh-shut your fuckin’ rathole. Yes you do, baby. You deserve me as much as I deserve you.”

It was becoming harder to focus on your words as you continued to feel an increased sensation and pleasure as his thrusts quicken and falter. You let out a small gasp as you tense things up by wrapping your legs around his waist to bring him in even deeper. You two had been speaking and giggling to each other constantly that you didn’t even notice the lewd, wet, slapping against the skin that came from each heavy thrust. Josh grabbed one of your hands, interlocking your fingers tightly on the mattress beside your head.

“J-Josh, I—” You begin breathlessly.

“I know, me too,” he grunts as soft, inaudible whimpers and whines leave his lips while the movement of his hips stuttered. His rhythm was becoming unsteady, but it was also increasing in speed. “I—Y/n, f-fuck, I’m c—”

“Sh-shit, baby, I—” You pant as you felt closer and closer over the edge, every mere feeling increasing your stimulation. You bring your hand to cover your mouth and suppress any loud moans as you finally released, the knot in your stomach undoing itself as you sigh afterwards once your hand left your mouth. Josh came exactly right after you as his hips jolted for the final time, spilling his warm, white seed inside of you, burying his face in your neck to muffle a high-pitched grunt and acute whines.

You two were breathing heavily, kissing each other’s lips softly and lovingly after you both came down from your high. You two never moved from your position, still fragile and sore. Josh caressed the side of your waist under your shirt, his head resting in your neck as you moved your hand to play with his hair, holding him in your arms.

“This is probably the only time we’ll have together alone before we have to continue with the damn mission,” you figured, tangling his strands of hair in between your fingers.

“It’s bullshit,” he mumbles, his thumb continuing to rub your waist.

“Enjoy the moment while we can?” You suggested with a small chuckle.

“Yeah, I guess,” he sighed dejectedly.

A beat.

“Hm,” you hum thoughtfully.

“Yeah?”

“Nothing, I just… I like it whenever you’re inside of me,” you comment softly. This was probably the most affectionately vulnerable and honest you have been with him. Your tone lacked any intention for humor or lust; you were genuine.

He lifted his head up from your neck. “Seriously?”

“I don’t know. It just feels right. You know, as if you were, like, made for me exactly,” you whispered lovesickly, looking down at his sweet, plump lips to his profound, gorgeous brown eyes. “I wanna stay like this a little longer. You’re so perfect for me. I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” he replied with a smile, kissing your lips soothingly.

Then suddenly,

“Futturman! L/n! Get out of there, we gotta go now! Operation Cameronium!” Tiger called from the other side of the door. “Goddamnit. The fucking—tiny man—baby thing—is, just, really starting to piss me off. Let’s go!”

You and Josh looked at each other for a while in silence before bursting out into laughter.

“We-we better go before she considers murdering little baby Wallace,” you suggest with a soft smile.

“Yeah… Wait. Do you really think—”

“No…” You answer before he could finish his sentence. “I know she seems all stoic on the outside, but I feel like the past few days, she changed a bit. Empathy-wise. Slightly, at the very least.” Josh nods.

“I’m really gonna miss this,” he sighs.

“Me too. But don’t worry, once we fix everything, we have all the time in the world together,” you assert.

“Okay,” he smiles sweetly, kissing your lips before slowly pulling out of you, leaving you to feel empty and slightly bummed.

The two of you, with your clothes back on and hair quickly fixed, you waltzed downstairs with no problem. Your hands had been interlocked, faces a bit flushed as you smile to yourselves.

“You two sure look happy,” Diane expresses joyfully. “You really got into the Christmas spirit, wrapping all those gifts upstairs, huh?”

You giggled under your breath. “Oh, yeah, definitely, Mrs. Futturman. Uh, very much so. I really love Christmas, you know? The gift wrapping Joshy and I did upstairs and, you know, all the Christmas traditions. ‘Specially, ‘specially the yule log.” You look at Josh with a knowing grin as he just listened in, suspecting nothing at all. “Really makes you feel warm inside, am I right?”