#did I mention SUPER FUN WEEK HAHAHAHA yet???

[hurryupmerlin]

"Hey Chicken, how's the house buying going?" you ask, friendly.

I immediately throw up on your shoes and collaps into a sobbing heap.

[la-appel-du-vide]

07•14•20 - Florida Day SEVEN slash BIRTHDAYYYYY 🎉 (it just now dawned on me that my birthday was the 7th day of our trip and that feels lucky)

So it finally came - my favorite day of the year!

I loved having both Beach and Mads there to celebrate with this year - in beautiful, sunny Key West. We counted down to midnight, and listened to chateau by blackbear - "....age 25 and I'm rich now!"

And then I got to do some birthday posts for Kena - which is my favorite thing.

After a very short amount of sleep (I was up wayyy too late), I was woken up with a confetti gun haha. Nothing better than colorful paper exploding on you like a gunshot when you're dead asleep! I got to open some presents - I got some disposable cameras from Beach (which I'm obsessed with for some reason - love some film photos!) and a pliable tripod from Mads - perfect for Tik Toks hahahaha. It has a phone attachment and it's super portable which will be perfect for traveling!

We had a fun day planned, but Beach was determined to get an early start so we could go buy a party hat for me to wear all day from Dollar Tree. So that's exactly what we did. It was maybe the first time we've ever been on-time for an excursion - so early, in fact, that we had time to stop at Starbucks for a morning treat!

The plan for the day was an all-day watersports adventure - because we would get to do all my favorite things. They said they were limiting the amount of people on the boat because of COVID, but it felt pretty packed to us haha. They asked us to wear masks when getting food throughout the day, but understood that it wasn't really plausible for us to have them on getting in and out of the water all the time. And yet, we still got yelled at for not wearing one by an asinine woman who is apparently morally superior, even though her husband didn't wear his. *eye roll* All I'm saying is, if you're THAT concerned, don't get on a boat with 40 people and then be rude about it!

We first drove out to the Great Florida Reef - the only living coral carrier reef in the continental U.S. for some snorkeling! This was so much better snorkeling than Miami Beach hahaha. There were huge, colorful fish everywhere! The water was perfect, and it was the greatest start to the day.

Then we drove back to shore, and had lunch - chicken, pasta salad, rolls... better than most foreign buffets we get on our excursions! When we reached our designated spot, we were separated into parasailing groups. We were in the first group to go out, and unfortunately, so was the previously mentioned asinine woman. When the guy helping out asked where we were from, and we said Utah, she did a big dramatic sigh and goes, "Oh, of COURSE they're from Utah." Let it be known that she also was not wearing a mask at this point, and that her rudeness was just extremely uncalled for wow.

The good news is we met an adorable lady from Louisiana who was so fun and kind. She'd been on vacation with her husband for a week, but he had to go back to work and she wanted to stay and play longer - so she did it solo. Awesome.

It was Maddie's first time parasailing, and it was so fun. They dipped us in the water, and it made me laugh to watch the video because my legs are just so much longer than theirs hahahaha. I love how quiet and peaceful it is in the air, and how far you can see!

There was a photographer on board who took photos of us while we were out there, and offered them to us for $60. We took him up on it, because Maddie really wanted them. (Spoiler alert: They're the worst photos I have ever seen hahahah we were SWINDLED.)

They took us back to our home base boat, where we could choose what to do from there. We started out with a ride on the wave runners! I was nervous because the last time we did wave runners on the ocean in Cabo, we couldn't SEE because the salt water flew into our eyes and hurt so bad we had to drive around with our eyes closed. But for some reason, we didn't have that problem this time! Maybe it was just less windy? But it was a complete and total blast. Warm weather, warm water... perfection. I love wave runners and vow to own one in 5 years or less.

Next we went for a ride on their hot dog shaped tube, being pulled by a wave runner. Beach had a very bad attitude about it because she loves crazy tubing and thought this would be lame, but I talked her into it anyway. Turns out, she was very wrong!! The guy (Captain Joe) tried to kill us! He was driving like a maniac. He said since it was my birthday I could choose if we went faster or slower, but I could hardly let go of the handles to signal to him! This is where we struggled with the salt water burning our eyes, and closing them only made the ride more terrifying because we couldn't see what was going on or anticipate the turns at all. He waited until we got back to the boat to tell us that we had ridden over a baby shark! How cool! Wild, wild time. But he didn't manage to knock anyone off. (;

Then we played on the water trampoline and water mats for a while. They're a lot of fun - especially trying to run on the water mat! I should invest. Then we went for another wave runner ride before the day was over. They had some kayaks, but we never got around to it.

We were roasty toasty from being in the sun for so long, but had so much fun.

We went back to the hotel to change and take photos, and I made dinner reservations at Benihana - which is similar to Teppanyaki! Mads hadn't ever been to a restaurant like that, so that was fun. We had a beautiful sunset to watch while we waited to be seated, and then a delicious dinner of more fried rice, steak, vegetables, and ice cream than we could eat! And I even wore my party hat hahaha.

We ended the night with some Tik Toks and reading all the birthday messages on social media from my cute friends and family.

The end of my birthday makes me very sad tbh. It's so fun, and I hate how quickly it comes to an enddddd! But this year was really a perfect birthday. Here's to 25, cheaper car rentals, and the excuse to have a mid-life crisis whenever I want. 🎁🎉🎈🧁

[mtvswatches]

Wynonna Earp 3x01 Blood Red and Going Down

Click here for previous recaps!

Stray thoughts

1) Oh, Wynonna…

She’s taking a holiday from dealing, happily vacationing in the land of Not Coping. When she breaks down, it’s going to be awful…

2) The idiot revenants are mocking her about her baby, they truly are stupid. Yep, she’s sweeping the floor with their asses.

3) Jeremy grew a mustache wtf.

He’s going full-blown bromance with Doc, isn’t he?

4) Doing a power walk with your posse…

EXPECTATION…

REALITY...

5) Who the fuck are these super extra, grill-wearing, purple-smoke hipsters?

The girl just touched the Sheriff and he invited them in and holy hell! They’re vampires! We got vampires! How did I not immediately guess they were vampires when I described them as extra and hipsters? Of course!

They’re very subtle…

So, just with a touch, they can glamour people? Is that it?

6) Waves and Nicole are in bed, and they’re all jokey about Nicole’s marriage and Waverly’s make-out sesh with Rosita, so I guess they’ve already worked through their issues. It would’ve been very interesting to actually see them work it out, and not just have this post-coital love bubble.

7) Why is this turning me on?

I guess it’s also turning them on a little bit, so we’re all on the same team… That is, until Doc brings up their baby, who is 19 weeks by now. Ouch.

8) She really wants to make things right with him… I guess my ship is not dead yet…

He won’t touch me unless we’re training and he won’t talk to me unless he’s angry. So I keep him training and angry.

So he’s obviously still not over the “giving up the baby” thing, which makes total sense. But how is Wynonna feeling? I’m guessing she’s absolutely wrecked, hence all the drinking and partying. I wonder when or how the show will address this. 

9) Hmm. Waverly brings up a memory about their mother, but Wynonna doesn’t mention how she’s been seeing her. I’m guessing this is a Big Secret that’s bound to come out during this season, right? The question is, why did their mother leave and how and why did Wynonna keep in touch with her?

10) Nedley is wearing a scarf around his neck and I’m guessing he’s been bitten.

11) Well, someone enjoyed a good ol’ feast, didn’t they?

Nedley was very adamant that “they didn’t do this”, that is to say, the vamps. And now Nicole is saying that these massacres have been happening since the 1920s, carried out by a group self-ascribed as the Cult of Bulshar. Cool. Cool cool cool.

12) Well, some light has been shined on those final scenes from the season 2 finale. Nicole, quite conveniently, waited nearly 5 months to tell Wynonna and Waverly that when Mercedes mentioned Bulshar it rang a bell, and Dolls gave her some BBD files – the ones we saw her holding in the last scene of the season 2 finale. Waverly seems to have no issue with this, but Wynonna is definitely taken aback by learning this information just now. I think she feels she hasn’t been let in on some key information about the demon that has been after her family for ages. Of course, Nicole and Dolls were probably just trying to protect the Earps and figure out if they could fight this demon without endangering them. But it is kind of odd that Dolls has chosen Nicole as his confidant and that he’s purposefully withholding information from Wynonna...

13) Nicole seems to be triggered watching the whole crime scene, which coupled with the fact that she mentioned having heard the name Bulshar before probably means she was either A) the daughter of one of the people attacked by the cult, or B) witnessed one of these massacres as a child, or C) both.

14) Cool, Waverly and Nicole have both been glamoured. And the vampire boss bitch told Waves she needs them as “tributes.” Is this some Hunger Games shit?

15) Oh, sweet tween Jeremy…

16) So…

Is their mom in a mental hospital or in prison? It looks like a prison, but she also looks a bit… deranged? But can it be a prison? We saw Wynonna meeting her in a mountain or something like that… Anyway, Wynonna keeps asking her to tell her more about Bulshar, but she won’t budge. She doesn’t trust Wynonna will be able to break the curse and she fears she might endanger Waverly.

17) The vampires want to turn Doc into one of their own. The only catch, in order to prove that it’s really him, he has to endure torture. I don’t know who is in charge of the recruiting division in this vampire undertaking but that’s not how you lure new recruits…

18) Okay, so it’s a prison. But what is she in prison for? And why does Waverly seem to believe she simply left them? Okay, Wynonna just answered my question – their Dad told them to hide the truth from Waverly, which makes sense when she was a little kid, but I’m betting she’ll be super pissed when she finds Wynonna has been keeping this tidbit of info for almost two decades?

19) Wait, what did I miss? Dolls just turned towards Wynonna all meaningful looks and what-not, he said “Wynonna”, they stared at each other, and then he just got off the car – and left his cheeseburger. Who the fuck does that? I hate it when characters do that shit with food in movies and TV shows! But seriously, what did I miss? Was this a “Dolls almost confessed his feelings but thought better of it” moment? Or was it just his lactose intolerance kicking in...?

20) Cool. So now, everyone but Wynonna and Doc is under the vampires’ influence.

21) So, the Vampire Boss Bitch and Doc have history. Go figure. She called him an asshole, so she must know him pretty well.

22)

23) So everyone has been glamoured, pimped up, and now they’re taking down Wynonna. I guess it’s all in Doc’s hands, now.

24) So, the vampires’ plan is to either turn or eat everyone in town. And everyone is super cool with it because they’ve been glamoured. Except Nicole seems to be remembering something, she’s called herself a survivor, the survivor… of one of the Cult of Bulshar’s massacres, maybe?

25)

I thought Dolls was glamoured, too. He’s either telling the truth or he’s setting Wynonna up.

26) “We’re gonna need more stakes.” Wynonna is going full Buffy and I’m fucking here for it!

27) Not… your best… zinger, Wynonna…

28) Vengabus, ooh, that reference is carbon-dated! And I instantly got it, what does that say about me?

29) OMFG, when these vampires get staked they turn into purple dust! But… wait… when they arrive, they do it surrounded by a cloud of purple fog? Does that mean they use other vampires’ ashes to give some pizzazz to their entrance?

And as each vampire gets staked, the glamoured people become unglamoured and they are starting to kick some vamp ass! I mean, look at Nedley!

30) “I will not get ate while tied to a stripper pole.” You know, good for you, Doc, we all need to set goals for ourselves. And that’s as good as any.

31) Oookay…?

She told him they’ve done things to her she doesn’t want done to him, and asked him to stay in the Vengabus, but of course, he didn’t.

32) He just jumped through a window and staked a vampire who was about to eat Nedley and now they’re smiling at each other and slowly walking towards each other and I’m dead!

They look so hot, why aren’t they kissing already?

33) Wait, is this Bulshar?

Is this how they’ve shown the face of the Big Bad? An underwhelming reveal with little warning?

34) These two…

They’re finally acting amicably, without angry training or silence treatment. Wynonna feels elated that he’s having a drink with her again like they used to, and they toast to Alice, which is the elephant in the room. I mean, who better to understand how each of them feels about giving up their daughter than each other? They really need to be each other’s person for this.

35) YES!!

My OTP is alive!

(it kind of looks like Wynonna has a mustache, though) 

36) Hahahaha! Dolls’ face when Wynonna’s compares Waverly’s “warm and tingly” description to peeing in the shower…

37) So, Dolls is egging Wynonna on to talk to Waverly, I’m guessing about their mom, and he can’t help but take a jab at her for choosing Doc, and I thought he was over the whole fighting with Doc over Wynonna? I guess not.

38) Okay, I totally saw this coming:

NICOLE: I’m starting to think there was a Cult of Bulshar survivor once. And it was me.

39) And just when Wynonna was about to tell Waverly about their mother…

And now Waverly is being dragged from the wreck and taken away?!

I did not see that coming!

40) This was an interesting season opener, with a much lighter tone than I expected and barely touching on the unresolved issues from last season. Bulshar seems to be the Big Bad, but for one, his reveal was lackluster at best. Suddenly, the camera cut to his face and that was it. He was just standing there. Not too ominous for a Big Bad. Nicole is about to be given a Big Backstory, so I guess that will be interesting to find out, although I think I would’ve been completely fine with her just being a regular human who stumbled upon the supernatural, you know? Jeremy is still having a bro crush on Doc, and I love it, especially because it goes both ways (I totally caught Doc telling the revenant that Jeremy is a vegetarian, which continues to cement the fact that they know each other very well, they’re buddies!) Waverly and Nicole seem to be on solid ground, but I wonder how figuring out where she comes from will affect Waverly’s relationships with Nicole and Wynonna. All in all, a solid, fun episode, although probably not one of the show’s most memorable ones. Very excited to see where this season takes us, though.

40) Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi.Thanks!

[atopearth]

Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Part 1 - First game (Turnabout Sisters, Turnabout Samurai and Turnabout Goodbyes)

So, I was going to buy this on Steam, but then I recently got a Nintendo Switch (so I can play Code Realize and Collar x Malice next year loll), and it was on sale! Since I had no games (I bought World End Syndrome but it’s not here yet), and I really wanted to try playing stuff, so I bought it XD Two of my friends really recommend it as well, so yeah I would have bought it some day anyway~ I think I should have bought an SD card with bigger storage than 64gb though… (EDIT: I did...)

Anyway, the game! It’s a bit sudden to be thrown into trial all of a sudden, but Wright is a newbie lawyer anyway so I guess it’s all good loll. Kinda funny that the questions the reader has to answer are simple stuff like the victim’s name etc but I guess it helps you get used to remembering things, and looking over evidence etc if you don’t remember. Because I did forget the victim’s name hahaha. Honestly though, the style of the game is really cool and different, I really like the transitions for effect and I love the big font “hold it!” and “objection!” has hahaha. Mia is very helpful. In terms of the case itself, it was a simple and silly one, mainly because of Larry, he’s so dramatic and ridiculous, it’s funny. Note though, this is probably blasphemy to others but I’m playing with a walkthrough (i.e. I pick my answers and then double check with the walkthrough), I just don’t find it fun or have the time to explore wrong answers anymore tbh (backlog of VNs is long, I’ve got at least 6 more games). Anyway, I like how the game wants you to think but you don’t necessarily need to think too hard (for now), and it’s all done in a not so serious way that makes it fun. Like, I loved it when the judge said Larry was not guilty and confetti started falling down on the screen hahahaha. I think this game will be a great break from Steins;Gate 0 right now lol.

Turnabout Sisters I remember trying to watch the anime of Ace Attorney (which sucked, it was like the game but all the fun was gone because it was less interactive yet still played out like a game, it was weird) and being shocked that Mia died. I was so sad because I liked her, she seemed nice and cool. I kinda forgot about all that until this part started up and then I was like oh yeah!! Poor sister got arrested for it though, but I guess Phoenix needs a reason to do something. It was saddening when the sister didn’t have anyone to defend her😞 It was sweet when he decided to defend her, since he became a lawyer because he wanted to become someone that could look out for people who had no one by their side… When he says it like that…it’s hard to not admire how kind he is.

Lmaooo at Miss May and the bellboy though, I love how weirdly crazy they both are. May is like fake and sweet when she’s in her “cute” mode, but becomes super aggressive when angered (such as being caught out for lying), and the bellboy is just thankful that now the hotel is more popular because a murderer (May is being suspected now) lived there hahahaha. Everyone is so eccentric in this world. I find their mother’s story saddening though, she was probably pressured by the police into finding the culprit for a case with her spirit medium powers, but then she failed and the media got wind of it, and the backlash she received as a “fake” made her disappear. Disgusted that Grossberg was the one who told White (Mia’s killer) about the medium thing for money, and White then leaked it to the media! But I think the worst is that Mia tried her best all these years to out White for being the one who ruined her mother’s life (as well as many others with his blackmailing leading them to suicide), but she got killed by him… It’s so unfair.. I’m glad Maya is out though, and lmao at her taking it so seriously when you pick the option of telling her to help break Phoenix out (since he’s in detention now for suspected murder because of White’s influence). She’s so cute hahaha.

Well, that was a crazy trial lol, not only was White a chronic liar that was allowed to “amend” his testimony several times, Edgeworth was pretty apt at trying to keep him from being caught. I knew the receipt would show when the lamp was bought! Kinda obvious when he mentioned that he saw it last week I guess, gotta catch him somewhere haha. I guess the lesson is to update your furniture often so you can catch murderers😂 It was really nice to see Mia’s spirit inside Maya helping Phoenix and cheering them on in the epilogue though, I wonder if we’ll see her again? I definitely like Mia more than Maya😞 But I guess with Maya, they’ll learn and grow together as they do their best for the law office?

Turnabout Samurai I love Oldbag, she’s so whatever with everything, she’s hilarious. Not only does she talk nonstop complaining about young people these days, she really knows how to drag people into her pace lol. The defendant Will looks like a lion hahaha, except he’s one with no teeth since he seems way too gentle to be able to do anything. Anyway, gotta love how dodgy Oldbag is by omitting evidence, remembering things suddenly, as well as exposing that the directors etc were actually there as well but the studio wanted her to hide it. Btw, I love it when Phoenix wants to buy time by accusing someone else of the murder, and one of the options was the grade school boy, and when you pick the option, even Phoenix himself is startled that he said it and he himself doesn’t even know how he should support this as a possibility since the kid couldn’t have held the weapon hahaha.

HAHAHA THE GREAT SAL MANELLA. That name lmaoo😂😂 Nice to see Mia again to help Phoenix, I love her and how she was so capable in getting the kid to talk. I found it really interesting going through the kid’s testimony, since it really presented a proper reason for the kid to lie and have obstructed the court from getting to know the truth. Not only is he a kid, he’s a kid that believes his hero Steel Samurai would never lose, so him deleting the photos of him losing to the villain and lying about him winning are plausible and interesting to uncover, I liked that part. I don’t know why I never thought of the possibility that Jack Hammer was actually the Steel Samurai, even though I questioned from the beginning whether Studio One was really where he was killed haha. Now that it’s apparent the victim dressed as the Steel Samurai and went to Studio Two where everyone else was, it is now possible for the producer and them to have killed the victim within the 15 minute break they had… Oh yeah lmao when the kid came to testify and he was too short so they got him a box to stand on, I love little details like that hahaha.

Well, I really liked that! I really liked how everything ended up wrapping up and how the story tied together. I had some trouble (as usual!) with the presenting evidence parts (because I suck), but yeah that was great! I don’t know why it never clicked, but I really missed the thought that Hammer was the one who wanted to kill Vasquez and that’s why he did all that pretending to be the Steel Samurai and hiding his tracks etc, so he could blame the killing on Powers after. He had enough of being blackmailed and used by Vasquez these 5 years for accidentally killing a person on set (of which she covered up, since someone took a photo of it). It’s kinda ironic that he ended up dying in the same way as the person he accidentally killed. Maybe Studio Two really is cursed lol. But yeah, anyway, I really liked the piecing of all the evidence and clues! Seeing it unravel the way it did really made sense, especially when things I noticed but didn’t know what to think about were talked about, such as the small incinerator next to the van. I couldn’t piece together the story myself, but when they did, it was great, I liked this case. I also really liked how Edgeworth suddenly switched sides and started questioning the witness and the holes in her testimony as well because he knew that she was the killer and he wanted to catch her in her lies, since Phoenix missed some things. They were a nice combo haha.

Turnabout Goodbyes I didn’t think Edgeworth would become a defendant! But I guess what I’m most shocked about is that Edgeworth’s father was the victim in the DL-6 incident involving Mia and Maya’s mother, Misty Fey who was the spirit medium helping out with the case that led her to be labelled as a fraud. Edgeworth seems to really like Phoenix but can’t seem to be honest for some reason, hmmm, and I guess his father’s death is related to why he threw away his dream of becoming a great defence attorney like his father and instead became a prosecutor? Oh.. Edgeworth actually witnessed his father’s murder…and the suspect they caught was the one Misty pointed out as the killer through talking to the victim’s spirit, since he was the only one that could have done it, and yet he was declared innocent with the help of the defence attorney at that time, Hammond. And now, the victim in the current case is Hammond… I guess the police would think of that as Edgeworth’s motive to kill him… I wonder if Edgeworth lost all faith in defence attorneys because of that incident with his father.. But I’m happy that the weird Detective Gumshoe really respects Edgeworth and believes in him even though others don’t, I thought it was really nice that he acknowledged and believes that they can really work hard to capture criminals because they know that Edgeworth will prosecute them for their crimes. It’s like they both believe in their work and through that, they do their best to catch these criminals.

Well, it was obvious that the girl was dodgy because it’s definitely impossible to see who shot who when it’s foggy, and at night, and at a far distance! But it’s helpful to prove that she wasn’t even focused on the boat and was looking for the “monster” Gourdy that supposedly appears there. Gotta admit that Karma is hilarious, especially when he insults the witness’s intelligence for looking for a monster hahahaha. Also loved it when even the judge couldn’t go against him and followed his pace, glad the judge eventually stood his ground though lol. I still find it so fascinating that in this world, all trials must be tried and decided within 3 days so that the justice system isn’t clogged with cases. Aww it was so sweet to learn from Gumshoe that Edgeworth really appreciated Maya causing a fuss in the trial and giving the opportunity for Phoenix to cross examine what Lotta slipped up on. Lmao when he told Phoenix that Edgeworth would pay for her bail and he started thinking about whether Edgeworth would pay his rent for this month too hahahaha. Omgg, lmao at Gourdy the monster actually being Larry trying to inflate the Steel Samurai balloon and failing, causing it to fly like a rocket into the lake lolll. I guess he does deserve having the dog eat all his Samurai dogs loll. It was expected, but it’s kinda funny to see Larry come to save the day when Edgeworth was declared guilty haha.

Omgg, their back story was so touching! I thought it was so cute seeing little Edgeworth say “objection!”, and Edgeworth is right, if there’s no evidence, and if he didn’t do it, then he shouldn’t admit it! I also loved Larry saying “if he didn’t do it, then he didn’t do it”, those words were so simple but so true. I can’t believe the whole class put Phoenix on “class trial” to get him to admit something he didn’t do, and even the teacher didn’t believe him, like whaaat, great teaching right there. But I guess it’s because of how dodgy they all were, Phoenix, Larry and Edgeworth got to become friends. I found it really sweet that although Edgeworth transferred out because of the DL-6 incident, and never contacted them again, and ignored Phoenix when he tried to talk to him, it was really touching of Phoenix to become a defence attorney just so that he can meet Edgeworth again. Edgeworth is a prosecutor so regardless of what he wanted, he’d have to face Phoenix eventually and I thought that was really cute. Lmao at Larry completely forgetting about such an impactful incident on Phoenix’s life, but it’s so him. He’s silly, but he’s a great guy, and he really helped out with this testimony! It was all over the place, but he heard really important things and you gotta be glad he came to save the day! I honestly didn’t expect the murder to have occurred before midnight, and that the one in the boat with Edgeworth was actually not the victim but the murderer. It’s honestly…hard to believe and accept that Edgeworth could be the one who killed his father when he threw a gun (evidence?) that was lying next to him to protect his father from Yogi who was deprived of oxygen. I’m still sceptical of that though, what about the hole in the glass? And why would there be a person telling Yogi to get revenge on Edgeworth etc for ruining his life (for being suspected, losing his career etc) and making him kill Hammond etc. Whyyyy would they show von Karma the letter!! It’s such crucial evidence!! I’m not surprised he used a stun gun on them to steal the letter back!

Anyway, that was good, I really liked this case. I think the most saddening thing was discovering that Yogi really was innocent and really had his whole life ruined from this incident. It was terrible to hear that Hammond got him an innocent verdict but it was actually at the cost of declaring him of unsound mind, so he’s been pretending to be “insane” all these years, especially after his fiancee committed suicide after this incident. He wasn’t wrongly accused for being the murderer and yet he still lost his career, his partner and everything in his life. It was really saddening to think about tbh. As for von Karma, when this case first came about, I really didn’t expect him to be the killer in the DL-6 incident, I thought he was interestingly eccentric with how he wants everything to be perfect and was super arrogant and would always strive for guilty verdicts but I guess with the comedy in the game, I didn’t really expect the cost of his actions. He was caught for giving faulty evidence by Edgeworth’s father Gregory, and that is the one and only scar to his record. He’s been dodgy all this time and probably incriminating many innocent people in these 15 years at least, sigh. I guess I didn’t think that just because there was an opportunity, he would actually kill Gregory (when Miles threw the gun and it ended up landing near him). I also didn’t expect him to have been shot by that misfire and for him to never have taken that bullet out of his shoulder because he didn’t want to create any doctors as a witness to this! Which is understandable though, but wow, he’s pretty hardcore. So yeah, that was awesome and I think it was my favourite case! I really liked how things flowed and how everything ended up piecing together like that. It’s really cool to see how the evidence matches up together.

Lmao at Larry having been the thief that stole Edgeworth’s money in that Phoenix class trial incident, I honestly thought it might be him but I was like nahh. And it was him hahahaha omg. I guess the deserves getting dumped by girls all the time lol. The photo Lotta took at the end was nice, I also really liked the little snippets showing all the previous witnesses lives, lmao at that bellboy becoming the owner or something lol! Although Maya isn’t useless and really helps Phoenix by just being there and helping him think through things etc, I do think it’s good for her to complete her spirit medium training first and then come back. It’s important for her to have her own goals and stuff after all, so I’m glad she did that.

[purplesurveys]

559

Have you today?

Looked in a mirror? Yeah, I was looking at myself while brushing my teeth earlier.

Watered a plant? I don’t think I’ve done that in the last few years.

Worn denim? Nope, I’m staying in today. And I kinda have to anyway, because it’s a holiday. Washed your hair? Yep, I took a long shower a few minutes ago. Been in pain? Yes, woke up to the same toothache that’s been bothering me for a few weeks now. The pain is on the down low at the moment, but yeah it was there when I woke up.

Had a nap? Not sure if it counts as a nap, but I decided to sleep in today and kept waking up a few times the whole morning until I finally woke up for real at around 11:30. Brushed your teeth? I already mentioned that I did this, yes. Kissed someone? I gave my dog some kisses today, but not a person. Used a cheese grater? I’ve eaten one meal today and it didn’t need any cheese. Eaten something sweet? Nope. Spoken to a stranger? Also no. Like I said, I’m staying in today. My introverted ass is tired from the last few weeks of working and socializing. Dropped something? I don’t remember doing so...I’ve only been in bed all day. Felt upset in some way? I’m feeling a little down, but I wouldn’t call myself upset. Drank coffee? I took two painkillers in one day yesterday, which is bad in itself; I wouldn’t want to mix coffee into my system.

Walked for more than thirty minutes? Nah, the furthest I’ve walked today is to the bathroom to take a shower. Signed up for something? That’s a no. I really should have picked a different day to fill this up, hahaha. Travelled in a car? I didn’t drive today and don’t plan to until like Tuesday, because that’s when I have to go back to school. Opened a can? Here’s a tiny secret: I don’t know how to open cans :c Thought about doing something crazy? Nah, I’m not feeling too crazy today. Listened to a new song? As a matter of fact I am. Spotify will sometimes play you a bunch of new songs it thinks you’d like based on the music you do listen to, and that’s the playlist I have on right now.  Written in a notebook? I have not. Fed an animal? I gave my dog the rest of my lunch when I didn’t feel like eating anymore. Checked your emails? I had to answer a couple of them, yes. Told someone you love them? No, not yet. Made a phone call? Nope.

Have you in the last week?

Travelled on a bus? I haven’t been on a bus since my high school class went on a retreat to Baguio four years ago. Washed your face? Yep, yesterday. My face was feeling oily for some reason so I used some facial wash we had in the bathroom. Used a blender? I don’t think I’ve ever needed to use a blender before. Received a phone call? Yeah, Gab calls me most nights. Talked to someone you dislike? I had to talk to this girl who has a known attitude problem because we’re working on something together in a subject that we’re classmates in. She hasn’t shown me her rotten side just yet but I’ll be more than ready if she does. Consumed alcohol? Yeah, I went to two Halloween parties in the last week :/ Eaten pasta? I don’t think I have this week. Planned for an event? We don’t have any upcoming events so there’s nothing to plan for to begin with. Asked someone for a favour? Yep, I asked my classmate Gia to bring her VGA adapter because I needed one to do my report for history class and I don’t have an adapter of my own. She’s super nice and helped me out. Watched something funny? Yeah I mean I make it a point to watch at least one funny video a day so that my days aren’t completely shitty. Trimmed your nails? I have not, which explains why they’ve grown out so much lately. Browsed Reddit? I haven’t been browsing Reddit as much lately because I’ve been busy, but I did open the app at least once within the last week. Talked to yourself? I often talk to myself while driving alone. Purchased tickets for something? I did not this week. Felt like you were annoying someone? Always. Cleaned a toilet? Nope. Reminisced about the past? I mean, my friends and I always do in one way or another. Used headphones? No, my old headphones have been busted for yeeeeears now. Laughed with a friend? I spent time with several groups of friends this week, yeah. Which is why I’m completely socially exhausted now. I’m using the undas weekend to recharge. Cooked dinner and then didn't feel hungry? I don’t cook, so this is an automatic no. Written a list? It was a to-do list of stuff I had to accomplish before the undas break, if that counts. Played an instrument? Technically I did? I was sleeping over at Rita’s place last weekend and their guest room had a ukulele lying around, so before I fell asleep I do remember strumming the strings for a few minutes, even though I had completely no idea what I was doing. Felt jealous or envious? Always do. It’s my worst deadly sin. Ignored a text message on purpose? Always. Congratulated someone? I always make it a point to congratulate my friends for their leaps, whether big or small.

Have you in the last month?

Made a piece of art? Art is my weakest suit and it’s something I never even try to dabble in, because I know I would be horrible.

Rewatched one of your favourite tv shows or movies? I always rewatch Friends, and I did attempt to do a rewatch of Breaking Bad before El Camino was out on Netflix, but I didn’t get to finish it because uni had kept me very busy.

Called a plumber? There wasn’t any need to.

Been to a see a doctor? No. I definitely should go to the dentist, though. Finished a book? I haven’t been reading. Had a crush on someone? Of course.

Travelled on a train? Nooooooo I hate the public transport system in this country. Worn heels? I haven’t had to in the last month. I wish I owned more pairs to just wear casually to school though; it wouldn’t hurt looking like a bad bitch around the college hahahaha. Been to a friend's house? I’ve been to Gabie’s and Rita’s houses.

Shared a bed with someone? Yes, Gab has slept over a couple of times. Been to see a movie at the cinema? I think it’s been more than a month since my sister and I saw Hello, Love, Goodbye at the movie theater. Paid attention to celebrity drama? Meh, loosely. I know of the issues, but the drama lately hasn’t been too juicy. Felt anxious? AL. WAYS. Taken an elevator? On the days we were too lazy to take escalators. Given someone the cold shoulder? I don’t think I’ve done this recently. Purchased a new book/game/movie? I didn’t purchase it but I downloaded Mario Kart on my phone. Applied for a job? Nope. Used a printer? Yes, I’ve had to print papers and handouts for several classes. Had lunch in a park? We don’t have any parks, and anyway it’s usually too hot to eat outside. Gotten a manicure or pedicure? Not a fan of either, so no. Made an appointment? No. I did ask my mom to schedule a dentist appointment because my 21 year old kiddie ass is still too anxious to do it myself sjdklsdfdfhdkhskdjfsjffskfhkjsfh Had a blood test done? NO. Is this the one where they prick your finger? NO THANKS BYEEEEEE Suffered from a major bruise? It wasn’t major but I did briefly get a nasty bruise on my knee a few weeks ago. It was probably from PE but I never was sure where it came from. Researched a topic in-depth? I kinda have to; I’m working on my thesis for the next year or so.

Have you in the last year?

Been to the beach? Yes, several times. The most recent time was last August in Nasugbu, which was kinda bad timing on our end because we usually get bad typhoons in August haha. But it was the last week of summer and we wanted to do something fun before we had to go back to school, so off we went. Visited someone in the hospital? Thank goodness I haven’t had to. Played pinball? No, but I have played races on Waluigi Pinball courses on Mario Kart if that counts HAHAHAHA Travelled on a plane? Yes, several times. Worn a costume? I have. I went as Dora for Halloween this year. Been thrift shopping? Yesssssss. I got into it a few months ago when I saw a few stalls at a local mall selling really trendy tops for much cheaper. Thought about getting pregnant or got pregnant? Neither. Made a big life decision? I decided on my thesis topic, which is personally a pretty huge decision to make. Changed a lightbulb? Nope. I don’t know how to. Framed something and put it on your wall? I haven’t. My wall has stayed the same for like three years now. Been stargazing? Nah. Haven’t really had the time to. Made a new friend? New people who come into the org. Added to a collection? Obviously I’ve gathered more receipts from my dates with Gab within the year, but I haven’t gotten around to organizing any of them. They’re all just piled up in my wallet. Been to the dentist? No, but I have to UGH this toothache is out to kill me I swear. Broken up with someone? Nope. Held a baby? I don’t think so but I wish I’ve gotten to do it D: Created a budget? I mean I always carefully plan out my weekly allowance, so yeah. Confessed feelings for someone? I already did that three years ago. Had surgery of any kind? Nope. Quit a job? I have not. Been in a car accident? No, thank jeebus. Purchased something worth over a grand? Not yettttt, but I’m planning to for Christmas. Been on vacation at least 500km/300mi from home? Yes, when we went to Batanes and Albay. Applied for an academic course? Does enrolling for a semester count? Had your photo taken by a professional? No not yet, but very soon when I get my graduation photos taken.

[chittapornswife]

HOW WAS CLASS !!!! also your classes sound interesting both subjects are two that i find v fascinating pls share what you learn with me so i can also be an intellectual aLSO HOW DOES THE SCHOOL WORK FOR YOU DO YOU NOT HAVE SUMMER VACATION OR ??? i was thinking this earlier when you’d mentioned how you had a few free days before the next semester and i was like ????????????? where is the break ?????? pls explain you need breaks >:(

Class was good!!!!! The prof kinda seems a bit everywhere when she speaks but luckily it’s the first day so even tho she was off track I didn’t miss much but I feel like this might be a problem later on in the semester? I really love psych & philosophy too!! why are we the same??? Like I’ve yet to find something we both don’t love because I’ve always been so interested in taking a psych or a philosophy course and actually I did take a psych in the fall this year! It was about behaviours and it was super duper fun + the prof was really chill so I had the best time😎

And!!! Okay hahahaha we have 3 semesters at our college! Fall, winter and spring/summer semester! Fall is like the regular sept-dec, winter is Jan-April and then spring is May-june while summer is May-july. So spring semesters are 7 week courses while summer are 14 weeks! Luckily I’m doing spring and it’s only to boost my gpa to transfer to the uni to get my English degree so that’s why I’m doing the spring semester ;-; My break will be after June 22nd tho! :D And I really love you and hope you’re doing so so well and just happy and enjoying the sunshine and just I love you nonnor ♥️🌻💘🌷💕💖🌹

[nakalimutang-sumpaan]

Also... I will forever pray my future MIL is like her 😂 or that I grow up to be like her bc she’s mom goals really. And I love how she says we’re close HAHA even if we don’t talk as much as we used to. Abby and I were on the phone and asked me last week which of the moms I think is the most mature. And I said, “Okay so this is gonna sound counterintuitive because she’s so child-like, err in touch with her inner child and doesn’t seem like it, but I say her haha. I mean her personality may say otherwise, but her mindset and spirituality is mature. She’s not petty and is drama-free unlike some of the moms HAHA and their own kids are aware and even say it about their own moms. But not her. And look at how she raised them. They’re so great, I love them so much. Also she’s so aware and understanding of mental health unlike some parents. She actually asked how I was doing one time and if I was going through depression during this pandemic. And she’s so easy to talk to and it’s always a fun time with her. She’s so easygoing and funny and so unapologetically herself and I love that she’s so in touch with her inner child and kinda reminds me of me, only super talkative and more outgoing. She makes me be okay with being the same way. Like honestly, GOALS HAHA” “HAHA that’s true. I agree. And I can see you being that type of mom” AND I JUST UGH. HAHA WHAT A CUTE FAMILY. I mean... the husband scares me a bit tho 😂 and I know her son “jokingly” mentioned to me once that he has daddy issues. And that’s why I lowkey love that he and dad are so close and that dad loves and trusts him sm and basically took him under his wing and can be so gay around him. Literally *calls* “Oh Kuya Henry, kumusta po? Napatawag po kayo?” “Wala lang nangangamusta lang, kasi namiss kita eh” AND I’M LIKE 😳 IMSORRYWHAT? LOL. And we ended up driving to their house bc dad needed his help with something and he ended up being the first non-familial guy I willingly told that I got my license. And he was 🎶 so excited for me to finally drive up to your house🎶 😂😂😂 but ya, I literally didn’t tell my best friends until a week after, even a month after, and up to 4 months latest, yet for some reason, it was so easy to tell him of all people. Also, I witnessed how concerned and caring he/you both were when my dad was at the hospital. I’m still not over that and am so grateful for what you guys did. Ugh. I really pray whoever I end up with is like him. And my future MIL is like her. And to have a SIL like the daughter. Dream DIL though is THE CHEESYYY HAHAHAHA. I wonder what that’s be like though. Bc they both married significant others who are more responsible and serious and take care of them. I wonder how it’d be for two people like them who don’t take life too seriously to be together HAHA. Ugh. Okay my brain needs to stop with talking in circles and all these random thoughts hahaha

[survivor-tierradelfuego]

Ep. 13: “I just want to bury my head in a mountain of blankets and sleep.” -  Sarah

Najwah

Well, that was shit. I feel as though I really tried to get Amy to vote with us but Pedro wanted to get her out so everyone just decided to write her name down too. Also, she basically used my name as a decoy too. And I used Maddison as a decoy too so she could flush Olivia's idol. It worked. I had my superidol at the ready too. I feel like this game is just going to get more insane from here on out. We are so little people in the game. So close and yet I'm content with just being here. In the final seven. This feels good. I'm glad Pedro is with us and I wish we had gotten him on board a while back. We haven't told anyone else about our idol and superidol yet. I wonder if Amy really gave Pedro the fake idol lmao that would be hilarious. Anyway. I'm just going to carry on playing I guess. Amy had crazy big plans and I loved them but I felt like her allegiance to Maddison ruined our common goal. I wish she'd just been on board with us voting Maddison like she wanted to when we voted Grae out. That's when it all started. That's when we were causing waves in the game without anyone even knowing. Sigh. I wish things could have been different. 

Olivia A

So it looks like Maddison and I got Pedro to agree to work with us!! This is very very exciting. We can get Aimee to flip easily (even though she does keep going back on that promise) and have a majority. Assuming it goes as planned, Maddison and I will then have our pick of who to go to the final 3 with (Aimee or Pedro). I have felt 100% solid with Maddison from day 1 and we have made every single decision together. I don’t wanna be at the final 3 with anyone but her.

Aimee

All Maddison had to do was play her idol on Amy and Cody would of went home. Maddison was scared that Old Hanuha was lying to me again and that those 3 were voting Maddison and Pedro and I would be left out and vote Amy. I wanted to put Cody’s down but I knew it would of been rocks, four versus four vote.

Dang I wish I would of known about the idol sooner so I could of had Old Hanuha put the votes on Maddison and get Cody out that way. It would’ve been such a huge game move for me and Maddison that would have looked super great for the jury, and if Cody left this game would be wide open again. Also it would’ve been believable that Pedro ratted the vote out to Maddison instead of me so I could’ve hid behind that too and old Hanuha never would’ve known I told Maddison the vote. But I get it and Maddison was nervous it was her. We still have an opportunity to flip this on the next vote too. It just requires Pedro and the personal connection I have with him to flip with me. He will have to put personal things aside with Maddison and Olivia if he wants to be more than fourth or fifth in this game. He knows the best he can get here is fifth with them....he even told me this straight up. I wish I didn’t have to flip because I love these people but I know that Cody Najwah and Sarah are a final 3. And I’ve been wronged so many times before that it would be a nice little treat for Ben and everyone else hahahaha. Actually Sarah flipping would be great for her own game too but I’m not sure if she is really going to do that or just is waiting for the right moment to maybe flip with me and Pedro as well. It’s interesting with Sarah because it’s almost like we are both staring at each other waiting for the other to say we wanna flip. Wonder if we are thinking the same thing and maybe planning the same moves. Wouldn’t surprise me, Casanova 👑 has a really similar game to mine, even if it’s portrayed differently.

Aimee

Also, after listening to that podcast. WHOS THE TOP PISCES NOW, ZACK! https://64.media.tumblr.com/ce6ed38bc4ad9c69ee92e5e764c19e5e/tumblr_njj8unqiGl1sqbiv1o5_400.gifv

Sarah

From three days ago but I just got it to upload.... https://youtu.be/w5g35793Bkc

Sarah

From last night... https://youtu.be/IBPzYsGfIRU  Najwah I had a brain fart at the end of that game and I said something so ridiculous. I just want to bury my head in a mountain of blankets and sleep. 💀💀 What a fun game though I enjoyed it! But... Embarrassed for life. 

Aimee

https://rainbowkarolina.tumblr.com/post/616209748381122560/ I wore my jacket looking fancy for this immunity challenge. Too bad my mood was shit. Oh well. Congrats Cody!! 🥳🥳🥳 https://64.media.tumblr.com/b1324cd7cf8c621547f61c8cb20d5fda/eaeee04a03e6c254-72/s540x810/eaf80576f97d63015f9a99cffb28fe7b46e888cb.gifv

Najwah

No ones ever going to see that video again so let's write a better confession. Here's the thing, I am playing for fun at this point. After hearing and having time to listen to Zack's podcast, I realised how intense I was initially too. How I'd do anything to win. Whether it was stay up until 6am, avoid my job, accidentally stay without food, stay in bed, not call my parents for weeks, blindsiding James just to get to merge. I no longer feel stressed and angry. One thing I liked about Zack's podcast segment was that I have a whole new perspective on a lot of things right now. I'm here, in the fucking top 7. Never thought that would ever happen. I have made friends and gained so much from this. At some point in this game you get to a crossroads and you have to decide who you are. Are you a vicious blindsiding, backstabbing bitch or do you want to see your people WIN more than anything. Tonight Cody won immunity. He fucking deserved it. I'm so happy he can go spend time with his nieces and nephews and not worry about being a target. Me? Oh I'm burning to use my damn superidol so that I can at least try to win ONE immunity.

Everyone in the game right now has won individual immunity except Pedro and I. Which is funny bc I always thought of Pedro as a challenge beast. I miss Amy. I don't like not seeing her in this game. I've been thinking about how we left things all day. Why did she want me to vote her? Why did she trick me about the vote or was that just her protecting me? Either way, we played the same game at each other as our last play. The double decoy. I don't know if I mentioned this yesterday, but Amy wanted to vote Olivia out so that we could form a 4 person alliance with Pedro and Maddison. I've never spoken to Maddison ever. And Pedro is a loose cannon. I don't see how that would have ever worked. And she said our first play would be to get the strong players out: Cody, Sarah.. Like? In my opinion Maddison is the strongest player in the game. If Maddison were at the end, I wouldn't hesitate voting her in a heart beat. I didn't get how she wanted. To hide behind Maddison forever and not take control of her own game. I didn't get that she wanted Maddison out but whenever it came down to it, she would hesitate to get her out? She's told me every one of Maddison and Olivias advantages and idols etc. She's spilled so much tea while I've never told her anything negative about the people I'm working with because I didn't want them out? Ugh. I guess some day I'll ask her. If this were a real game of survivor perhaps I'd take Sarah or Aimee out, like I'd flip on them for a million bucks maybe coz they're strong players but as long as this is an online game ima be cheering everyone on bc this game is long and tough and we have been through things together, ya know? 

Olivia A

Just talked to Aimee about flipping to work with Maddison, Pedro, and me. She said she’s in for now but still wants to talk to og hanuha people and see their plan for this tribal. She still said that she realizes if she doesn’t flip all of our games (including hers) are done. So even thought she hasn’t given full agreement, I think we’re all solid on this. We are planning to vote Sarah out. I think this will completely turn the game around. I don’t wanna think too far ahead but I’m starting to see my trajectory to FTC pretty clearly. Don’t wanna speak too soon though so if I get voted out don’t hold this against me lol.

Pedro A

trying to break the trio...have a bad feeling about this tribal ....working with maddison and olivia isnt the best....i hope they dont lie AGAIN....at this point..if i get out....they are next...so its kinda dumb to vote....BUT IF I LOSE....i will scream ALELUIAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...cause damn im exhausted 

Aimee

This song is dedicated to Cody and his immunity win!!!!!🙌💚🖤 https://youtu.be/weRHyjj34ZE Sharika - Whenever, Wherever Our humor knows no distance 😻🌵🌈💞 😅I’m trying my damnedest to get Maddison and I as far to the end of this game as possible. So sorry about the confessional about me wanting the idol to work to get you out. https://64.media.tumblr.com/562258ad5eb14f6498ceff24aa8392e7/984582d2a107588c-d2/s540x810/1b6cf1576e95c3672122cfb7887ffd5a644d87da.gifv So I hope no hard feelings! I love that we can laugh over pop divas, gay culture and just life in general. 😂 We are gonna tear up the city as soon as we can hang out in person. I hope Texas and Ohio is ready for this! Olivia A

Pedro being so paranoid about Aimee’s commitment is getting frustrating. Since we brought this plan to him we’ve told him she’s 100% in she’s been talking about flipping forever and he still gets so nervous. I understand the paranoia bc it’s a big move but I wish he would listen to what we’re telling him and trust our intuition. That doesn’t really matter though bc tonight we are voting Sarah and it’s going to work! :) Oh also Maddison and I keep saving up coins to buy things that end up being nothing it’s getting really frustrating but oh well!

Pedro A

Sarrah says she wants to vote maddison...and now aimee..is trying to get me to vote...with maddison and olivia who want to take out sarah.....(i already know about the plan, i made the plan lmao)......somehow i feel like im the one GOING HOME TONIGHT

Maddison

I’m putting trust in someone that I never wanted to have to trust. Pedro, here’s to you bud.

Aimee

https://kasugano.tumblr.com/post/154832341580 Well I figured I would try! I will do everything in my power to keep Maddison here on Skype survivor island. https://rainbowkarolina.tumblr.com/post/612534208936755200/ I just keep losing one close friend after another in this game. I’ve honestly become numb to it at this point. I just see that light at the end of the tunnel. 2 weeks just 2 more weeks. I don’t plan on going to jury. I’m just so excited to finally reconnect with my people at the end. I’ll keep fighting like I’ve been doing since day 1. I feel like Maddison being voted out just kicked me into overdrive. The adrenaline is here and I’m ready for what’s to come next. This lady is strong and a fighter. https://rainbowkarolina.tumblr.com/post/613061232697753600/

Cody A

https://youtu.be/S8iY2_ho8-Y

[he-was-a-memer-boy]

I'm so frickin awkward like my writing prof talked about my essay with me at our meeting and then asked me, "Do you have any questions for me?" And as always, I wasn't prepared for that question and said, "No." And before he said, "Have a nice weekend!" he told me that his dog seems to love me since he keeps sitting on my lap during class and I just said, "yeah..." you know, all awkwardly and foolishly like I am. And he continues about that for a bit and says, "yeah, like today, he kept jumping on you." And I said, "yeah..." And then he finally let me off the hook and said have a great weekend and I left. I'm super weird.

Also, I couldn't even talk to him properly about my essay because I just didn't know what I was going to write and he looked at my outline and basically answered his questions to me for me. Like he asked me which idea I was going to use and I said, "I don't know." And he kept telling me to pick something that I can write a lot about or something that I'll enjoy writing and let me tell you that every idea I had on there was a topic I did not want to talk about. One was about me being indecisive and not knowing what to do with my life. The next idea was about me being lost in high school and feeling like a failure. And the third idea was about my ultimate dream of going into space only to have that dream crushed by everyone I know, telling me there was no way I could become an astronaut.

So no, I didn't want to write about any of those things, but those were the ideas that I had and he picked one for me. So now I'm writing about me being an engineer and having a change of heart and choosing theater. But his example of a dialogue for this paper was a bit racist ngl. Like he was trying to demonstrate how I should use dialogue by making up a converation between me and my mother and first of all, he right off the bat assumed that I would say, "Hey, mom. I don't want to do engineering anymore." Like cmon, you don't know me so I'll give you that, but there is no way in hell I'd ever stand up to my mother like that. It didn't happen that way is what I'm saying. But he continues and says that my mother would say, " Oh, why? You don't like it?" And there's another thing to mention here; my mother would never ask me how I'm doing or how I feel about anything. Like when I told her that I was struggling with one engineering class, my mother automatically said that I can change majors if I want and I was shocked at that until she told me, "So we don't waste money send omg you to that school," and it all made sense after that. But that's okay, he continues with me saying, "No, I hate engineering." Woah woah woah woah... I never said that. It was actually fun, but my teachers were shit and the stress was killing me because I had only ten weeks to learn all the material for each class so... wasn't going to continue doing that. And my prof continues the dialogue with my mother saying, "Okay, I support your decision." HAHAHAHA what a joke. But again, my prof doesn't know me so he says all of this and more and I'll just explain that the racist part was when he said that I'd be explaining to my mother that she should allow me to be "free" and express myself however I want because she normally wouldn't let me do that. You know, implying that my mother forced me to take engineering classes and that she's one of those tiger moms who won't back down from a fight but for some reason she let me have my way this time by choosing theater. So yeah, super awkward.

Also, his dog greeted me when I went into this office and I am in love with his dog. Love his dog. But my prof didn't have to mention it because it made things very awkward between us. Because I've noticed that a lot of students want to be close to their professors and almost seem like friends. And I'm not like that at all. No professor is going to be my friend when I don't even have a friend in the school yet. Cuz if my first friend at my university is my writing professor, I'm never going to make friends with actual students or people of the same age...

Just an irrational fear that I have...

[authenticaussie]

“okay i get it you’re a great thief and don’t want to go to jail but i’m the exhausted af detective that’s assigned to catch you i stg if you let me bring you in so i can sleep i’ll get you a good deal” au (James/Bastet :p)

Commissions! || Ko-fi!

Okay so like First of All no WAY would Bastet e v e r agree to that, she is Miss where's waldo / catch me if you can extraordinare but she takes a look at James' sleepless eyes and the wavering grip he has on his gun and sighs and flicks her wrist and goes "how about I give you a deal,"

"I'm??? the one holding a gun???" James goes, and Bastet snorts at him and goes "yeah but I'm basically bullproof and you're exhausted and are probably going to miss me and besides man do you really want to do all of the paperwork shooting at me will require and James looks like he's wilting at the thought and Bastet smirks even more, knowing she has him backed into a corner.

She coughs politely and looks pointedly at his gun and he sighs and puts it away and she just grins and bounces a bit on the balls of her feet and goes, "Okay so like I saw this in a show and it looks awesome and I mean honestly thieving's been kind of boring lately because everyone's so far from catching me, (James, crying in the corner, tries not to look like someone's punched him because he thought he was getting close) so !! I'm going to give you hints and clues to my next thievery

Oh btw what's your phone number

"I- what??" goes James, literally about two seconds from rattling it off tiredly before common sense stops him

"So I can send you the notes?? duh???"

(well I mean I could track her via the phone??? James thinks, forgetting that that Literally Hasn't Worked any other time but at this point basically desperate)

Slides his phone across to her because he literally Cannot at this moment in time, he's too exhausted for this shit,,,,,

Basically backflips off the roof and blows James a kiss and HE basically just wants to lie down and maybe not move for like??? a week??? maybe two, that sounds Super Good

He gets his phone back and for a week he doesn't hear from her and works overtime and tries to figure out what her plan is and what he's supposed to do and how to get through knowing s H E HAS HIS PHONE NUMBER??? WHAT WAS WRONG WITH SLEEP DEPRIVED HIM???

The phone number is enlisted under someone who doesn't even exist and James wants to scream

She put herself into his phone as "The Best [cat emoji]" and he doesn't find out until she texts him with this string of love heart emojis and a riddle with so many puns and look okay he was usually level headed but he swears to GOD he's going to ACTUALLY SHOOT HER

Or at least be a lil bit more brutal than is really called for when he arrests her because she's SUCH AN ASSHOLE OH GOD

James + the taskforce Bastet has figures out her stupid punny riddle and race off to where she's planning to steal her next artifact and she's laughing like crazy as they all chase her and James is like oh my GOD you're CRAZY and you literally just want us to chase you don't you???

She does a backflip and blows him a kiss and basically James wants to die

His partners rib him about it but also....aren't super pleased with him. Because he technically let her escape and look they're all tired too, and exasperated by this crazy lady who does whatever she wants???

Bastet texts after the heist and is like "awww, soz beau, better luck next time" and James is like "why do you text like a pre-pubescent girl I hate you"

(Bastet, holding her phone, bursts out laughing because she thinks this is hysterical and James is really fun to annoy)

James + Bastet + Texting = Nerds

James is SO PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE ABOUT WANTING TO ARREST HER???? IF SHE COMPLAINS ABOUT ANYTHING (eg. weather) HE'S LIKE "HEY YOU WANNA KNOW A NICE CLIMATE CONTROLLED SPACE THAT'S ALL FOR YOU?? JAIL."

Bastet is Sarcastic AF and loves teasing James w/ hints to how she steals things and information about herself but she's super clever and doesn't drop anything she doesn't mean to

She mentions loving Egypt and James stares at his phone and then is hit by realisation and rolls over and tries to suffocate himself with a pillow he's in agony, of fucking course, how could they not pick up on this before???/

And he texts his team and he's like dude she only steals egyptian things and they're like

DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY EGYPTIAN THINGS THERE ARE IN THE WORLD JAMES THAT DOESN'T ACTUALLY HELP

James who keeps getting pushed out of the group bc of his involvement w/ Bastet but she'll only talk to him and seems to know when someone else does it, and that just leads him to being more involved with Bastet and one day he complains explicitly and she just goes "want to know some place that isn't lonely??? By my side" and James is like WHAT THE HELL DID A THIEF JUST FLIRT WITH ME

all he manages to text back is "FRATRINISATION"

"I think that only applies if we work together?? Tho i mean we do work together in that i keep you in a job"

"no you dont??????????? i have literally three thousand other things i could do ????? I could help cats out of trees??? Help old ladies cross the street?????????????????????? LITERALLY ANYTHING???"

"Ah, but you LIKE chasing me. It's EXCITING"

"NO I DONT I HAVENT SLEPT PROPERLY IN WEEKS"

"Come sleep in my arms ;3"

"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME"

"Because it's hilarious??? omfg????"

James spends months being flirted with and sent selfies of Bastet posing with valuable objects before she steals them with captions like 'im stealing this...like you stole my heart ;3" and "dont open this one at work babe you'll get in trouble ;333"

James Officially hates the ";3" emoji. Like. Every time anyone uses it now he LITERALLY is like do NOT

James is Dying (tm)

He starts sleeping a bit better tho. Bastet always warns them before heists now and he's still trying everything he can to find her but at the same time it's been months??? she obviously has an informant or someone who helps her escape that he has to find and it drives him c r a z y???

Oh ye of little faith

He catches her turning into a cat after a year and basically faints and wakes up in an apartment he doesn't recognise and sighs at him and is like "if you yell about kidnapping i swear to god I will give you a concussion"

"UM BUT YOU DID THO??"

"uh no??????????? you can leave whenever?????"

James Does Not leave whenever, James sits on the chair at stares at her and eventually goes "hahaha lol okay sure. Question tho Im not crazy right. Like. Bc i thought i saw you turn into a cat hahahaha hAHHA"

-Bastet, literally shapeshifting into a cat right in front of him-

James, laughing hysterically and going Super Green and almost passing out yet again (This poor boy is Suffering (tm)) but manages to stay awake and breathes out super slowly and looks at her and she looks back at him and he basically says "explain" and she turns back into a human and kind of (super badly) does and James ends up staying all day and talking to her and not  even realising where all the time has gone....

by the end of it he has more of an understanding of Bastet, and she's thrown like, three bangles at him accidentally and put shit on him bc she got restless while talking and he walks out of her place to catch her escaping over the rooftops and covered in jewelry this is Not how he expected this day to go

Bastet texts him when he gets home and is like "i want those back you know" and James is like

"Well looks like you'll have to steal them off me ;3″

[0225pm]

it is currently 8:34am!!

just wanted to update on today’s events before i sleep.

so earlier this morning, i accompanied my mom to akmal’s madrasah graduation but rayhan managed to book out earlier than expected so he was able to come see the grad. but in the letter they said that they only allowed max of 2 people into the hall so i decided to just let my mom and rayhan go since tbh, i wasn’t wearing the proper attire to go in the masjid anyway. at first, i was kinda upset with my mom cus i didn’t see the point of me going if rayhan was going since only 2 people are allowed per child but then thinking of my mom going there on her own makes me worry a little since she’s rather frail so i decided to go with her and sent her to the masjid, waited for rayhan to come before making my way to bedok interchange.

it has been a rather long while since i’ve been to the interchange, or anyway really, on my own. i’m the kind of person that prefers having company than doing things alone. some may say that i lack independency but whatever it is, it’s always nice to have company. as i was walking around aimlessly in the mall, i thought of going to mcdonald’s to just lepak until my mom calls but it was too damn crowded and i missed the breakfast timing by a minute, so that was a bummer. but yeah, can you actually imagine me eating alone??? the last time i had to do that was back when i was working for YG at OG and taka, for my lunch break since i was working alone lol. but anyway, as i made my rounds at each levels, i finally decided to buy something to eat at old chang kee and then as i went back up the escalator, i thought of going to heartbeat but then again the thought of having to walk all the way there while i was socially sweating seems like a major no at that point so i decided not to and went to starbucks instead. alas, what a poor decision i’ve made. like literally, poor LOL cus i was $8.80 poorer after buying one of their christmas frappe lol and i didn’t even add whipped cream!! i should have said yes to whipped cream bc those are free unless you want extras, then you’ll have to pay. but anyway, the good thing is there was a lot of empty seats at starbucks which was quite weird considering that it’s a saturday but i was thankful cus it means that i didn’t have to stand awkwardly waiting for my mom to call.

so after i collected my drink, i sat down and i watched a couple episodes of chilling adventures of sabrina on netflix. luckily i downloaded a few so i managed to save on data haha but i didn’t think to bring my portable charger and my battery was getting pretty low after awhile. also i noticed that the person spelled my name as “hady” instead of “heidy” lol but wtvr doesn’t bother me. and then i think around 1+ almost 2, my mom called saying that they’re done with the ceremony and then asking me to go meet her and my cousins at this shop called new rezki and at first i was kinda lost and then well, my mom has this habit of like screeching her voice into the phone so it sounds like she’s shouting and/or raising her voice intensely like as though she’s mad and pissed at you but really, she’s not. i guess it’s a bad habit she picked up after countless “huh hello” whenever she called someone. but yeah, so i got a little bit upset cus the feeling’s not good when someone is raising their voice at you and i was wearing my earpiece for goodness sake so i kinda raised my voice a little too and then like i said, i was lost so she tried to direct me but LOL i ended up just googling and apparently it’s just right across the interchange, roughly about 4 mins walk as stated on map.

after seeing me, we all started ordering the food we wanted. akmal got fried noodles, rayhan had to watch what he eat cus he’s in NS and he’ll be punished if he gains weight instead of losing so he got a bowl of beef salad. my mom got bee hoon kuah and i got their mutton chop. it was ok but very oily for my taste so i don’t think i’ll ever buy that again unless i’m craving for it and if i’m nearby. it’s a dollar cheaper than the ones selling at thohirah though. oh and the shop is 24/7 too! i guess most, if not all, mamak eateries are 24/7. after we had our lunch, my mom bought some lauk back for my dad and for dinner and then we all headed back to the interchange. from there we split ways with my cousins cus they were taking the bus at the entrance of the mall, whereas we were taking the one at the interchange.

the moment i reached home, i quickly took a shower again and shampooed my hair cus i perspired earlier on and as i was changing i heard knocking on my window. i was so shook wtf cus i wasn’t expecting anyone but turns out it was farhan. like seriously what the heck.... LOL i was happy la but i was also very shock cus i thought he was gonna take the train but he actually took a grab all the way to my place instead. damn bobo la hahahaha and i wasn’t even fully ready yet even. so i rushed and did my usual face makeup and then let him in so he didn’t have to wait so long for me outside and then i did my usual going out routine. drying my hair, straightening a little, picking outfits and putting them together in my head. for some reason i was super duper indecisive about my outfit today. like idk why i couldn’t just grab and go like i usually do. and i also always will look through look books or style accounts and then visualize it in my head and i’m set but idk why the hell was i so damn frikin indecisive and fickle minded about my outfit today i kept changing and changing and then wearing different pieces together and shit and lol i finally ended up wearing the first outfit i tried which was just a black dress with a denim jacket. the sad thing is, the dress was kinda short and when i walk it gets even shorter so every now and then i had to pull it down but it’s really a cute dress though i think it’ll be nicer on someone shorter haha.

we walked to the bus stop and then went to tampines cus i had to get the brooch that my mom wants at isetan and while on the way there we were thinking of what to eat and looking through links that i’ve saved on facebook on different places we can go and eat at but most of them were either too far or too expensive and we don’t have that kind of money to throw on food yet, especially not when we still have 2 more weeks left till end of the month. after awhile, we decided to stop at tamp hub and eat at the thai shop, the one where we ate before. but lol the queue was so long and it seems like a long wait + majority of the tables were filled so we settled for tenderfresh. i felt like having fish so i got their grilled fish with aglio olio and farhan got the chicken chop one. i like their aglio olio!! it has this mild spice taste and farhan says that it’s kinda like mee goreng. overall, it was nice. their buffalo wings could be a little bit spicy though but it was still good! 😋

after our late lunch early dinner, we went to isetan to see the brooches but sadly there wasn’t anymore sale price and it was going at $19 per pin so i called my mom and ask if she still wants it and she said no cus it’s too expensive and if it was $9 like before it’ll still be ok. so we ended up not getting anything there. though now thinking about i felt like i should have just splurge my money to get her one brooch at least since she has been wanting it when she first noticed it last saturday.

afterwards, i casually mentioned genki before to farhan and he thought i was joking but lol we ended up taking the train and going to genki cus i said that i wanna satisfy my cravings. we went to the bugis outlet and surprisingly the queue was moving really fast. i got the ones i wanted and we spent less than 20 bucks there which was really unexpected but also good i guess. i’m so thankful that farhan was ok with splitting the bill even though he didn’t even eat a lot. then after that we walked from bugis to dhoby as usual and i wanted to walk even further down towards plaza sing bus stop but we saw another 65 coming so we decided to walk back towards the sota bus stop and take it there instead hehe.

i really enjoyed my day today with him. it has been a wonderful day and i hope that we will have more good happy days like these. i like how we shared our music interest while on the bus ride home, and then i was so in awe when i heard him rapping!!! he really look so cool at that moment hahaha like im not kidding. maybe i’m the only one who sees him and think that he’s cool la but hahaha wtvr 😂 i also like how we joked a lot and just sorta teased each other lol or maybe that was me bc i kacau him on the train ride towards bugis hahaha and his reactions are all so cute wth i just wanna squish him 🥰😍 and then i get to lay in his arms!!!! that’s always my fav part at the end of the day tbh. just being in his embrace hais.... oh and he went home really late (or should i say early lol) around 7am cus we had a hard time booking a grab!!! but also bc we were busy playing ml hahaah we were on a roll but had to stop since he hasn’t been home for the whole day and me too but like my house is just here ya know whereas he lives all the way at the other side hahaha so yeah i gotta get him back home and to sleep also since we didn’t get much sleep that night. one day i wanna try sneaking him into the house and letting him just sleep in my brother’s room or something after my dad’s asleep. but idk if i have the guts haha or maybe should do like that time when he stayed in my brother’s room till really late and we played games together and watched movies on netflix. that was fun too 😁

[luminousfae-blog]

J#2

Happy week all. This week's installation is about another J, but man J.

I can't even remember how our conversations began. He reached out first and I thought his profile was interesting. A few things I'm iffy about are children. I kind of will tip toe into that. I never want to be caught up in drama of ex partners. I dated a woman a couple years ago who had twin boys with her ex wife. It was madness with scheduling and then stress with the ex, plus she ended up being hella insane, so I got out of it. But this isn't about her. This is about another crazy.

J the man.

Our messages were going well enough to exchange numbers. We did the text thing and learned more about each other. On paper we were pretty ideal. Both hard working and goal oriented. Into the same music, movies, views on politics were the same, nerdy, etc, etc.

The phone conversations.

Those went surprisingly well. Still, regardless of all that, I still will have zero expectations. It all comes down to chemistry in person.

Let me rewind a second and say this about online dating. Honesty is always always always the best policy. I mean, if anyone has intentions of meeting, best to be honest. Especially with someone like myself. My profile is pretty on point to how I am in real life and I will tell people that. And I will tell them that if they lie, I'll call them out. I even quote Negan from TWD and say, don't bring crazy to the table. "I'll shut that shit down no exceptions".

Back to J and our phone conversations. They go well. Really well. Like, we were excited to meet well. Here's the thing. I work and train a LOT. My time is limited and I do make that very clear. During one of our conversations and figuring out a day to meet, I had to change things. I work full time in EMS and run an independent practice. I never turn work down. So, I had to postpone our meet. I gave him 5 days notice which is more than enough. J insisted on meeting me after a particularly busy day. A day I train 3 hours and then train people. I'm usually wiped. I explained this. He didn't care because to me, he really wanted to be in a relationship yesterday. Me, I am pretty laid back about it. I've been single over 5 years. I tell everyone this and that it'll take a lot to change that.

The night before he says that I need to be prepared to be swept off my feet and fall in love.

Bold statement, I reply.

The evening.

I'm wiped. And I'm running a little late. The good thing is we were meeting across from where I was. I see him. We hug hello and then he slowly reaches inside his jacket to a pocket and begins to pull something out. My face is saying what the shit are you doing!? I don't know this person or what he's capable of, so immediately am in defense mode. He pulls out a DVD. I mentioned I misplaced a fave movie. He bought it for me. Which was thoughtful. I'm just super weird about gifts. Friends, sure. Someone I don't know? Weird. He said, "I pay attention to what you have said to me". Ok. Great. So we walk around this park and I suggested we sit. It was weird and awkward in a bad way. He kept asking why I was looking at him the way I was. I replied with the this is my face, statement, and there's not much I can do about that. He said I was looking at home weird. I stated I was just listening. The thing is he kept saying it. So I said, "look, I'm tired. I told you today is crazy but you insisted on meeting tonight. I think it's time for me to go anyways". I wasn't feeling it. So we parted ways.

A text came in a little while after from J saying he feels I wasn't the same as my phone conversations and he was expecting me to throw myself into his arms and we lived happily ever after. Hahahaha...I told him the same as everyone. Single for 5 years. It'll take a lot to change that. Having expectations is something one should not have. I agreed there wasn't chemistry, but that it was also our first time meeting. Let's see how it goes another time.

Next day.

Full time EMS means I can't always respond. Sometimes I don't feel like chatting with anyone except close friends. It's just who I am. I do give fair warning to everyone new in my life how I like space and personal down time. During the day I was scrolling through the dating site, went to his page and showed my friend his photo. I was telling her how it all felt off and he seemed to have high expectations. Well, that evening as we were driving back to base I receive a text from J stating he felt there was no chemistry and that he couldn't believe I was online, yet didn't reach out to him.

Simply I replied, so you're a stalker? I end it here. You know I'm busy, sometimes I scroll through shit to pass time. You could have reached out. All good. Best of luck.

That was that with J.

I'll end this one with this...it wouldn't have worked. He has 2 kids and seems to require a LOT of attention which I'm unable to give with or without the schedule I have. I give what I can give. Everyone is different. If a person requires a ton of attention, I'm not for them and they aren't for me. J was a character indeed.

Stay tuned for more fun. Next week I believe is M.

[thelamephotographers-blog]

Double S

Alright. 

This is my first rant. It's currently midnight where I live. You ready for this stupidness? I don't think you're ready for this lameness. I mean.. dumb.

This is the original. This is the person who made me decide, "hey.. lets make a frikkin blog to vent all my frustrations with complete strangers on".

I often find things eating at me. When I upset people, I just want to fix it. My fault, or not.. I just want to make things right.

I am a young photographer. I looked up to Double S for the longest time! She inspired me as an artist. While I was in high school, I heard of her for the first time.. and ugh! She was wonderful. She was everything I aspired to be in the fine art portraiture industry, and more..

Now. Lets skip five years forward.

I messaged double S.. ugh. I just wanted to be a local photographers friend! I wanted to collab so hard. I wanted tips.. I wanted knowledge.. I just wanted a new friend who had the same passion and style as me. I was new to the area as far as photography went.

In my head... it worked out great.

Now.. Double S had ignored me numerous time. Hey.. thats okay. I understand! This lady is practically a photography GOD to me at this time. She's just... ugh. Serious goals man.

One day, I see Double S post a status. She posts Pinterest images in the comments of said status.. Its an outdoor boudoir. These images were inspiring! They were beautiful, and I NEEEEEEDED to be apart of this! I comment, going outside of my tiny bubble knowing I could be rejected. I say, "I would LOVE to be apart of this!"

Fast forward a bit.. and Double S and I decided to collaborate on this shoot. We chose two models! We were styling it, talking to the models.. and she took the business side over. Thats fine! I got say in it!  I helped choose outfits, and models, AND props...That was fine by me. She can totally have the contact with our models. I was just excited to meet her! This woman who went viral. This one all my friends had their senior photos done by in high school. I assumed, great. We have the contracts signed with an understanding of everything! All is well. There was miscommunication since the beginning.

Long story short... the day comes. I opened up to this photographer, she opened up to me.. It seemed a little weird however, she didn't have many friends in the industry. I was amazed at all this drama she knew about! I fed into it. I am so guilty. I listened, and was surprised. I could not believe the words she was telling me about these other photographers! Now.. at this point, I got Leary. I fed into it. She ranted, I ranted.. I listened. Dumb, Dummy dummy dumb dumb!  (I won't go into detail, due to privacy reasons).  However, we talked back and forth like friends. Joking about situations, people.. you know. Friend things. She had mentioned how she ignored my messages, and then one day saw my page and said "wow. She's actually pretty good." (This was the first and only nice thing she said about me) She told me she left so many groups, because it upset her seeing these people and how they made her feel bad about her own work. Okay, I totally understand. I wanted to relate with her. We had a convo about a local photographer who steals clients from others  (thats a whole different story... lets call her Nacho) after she told me about a few photographers who copy her ideas and steal her ideas... and this photographer (nacho) , to the T copies me, (we are talking outfits, location, and the exact spot and pose I did!) and others. Double S had talked about certain things this photographer does to copy her too! Wow.. I am so glad she understands me. I just needed to vent a little. It hurt me, being in a small town.. these things made me original.. and they weren't original after these things happened. She understood me! Wow!

Day of the photoshoot comes. It goes great. I pose a model, she fixes it. She poses a model, I fix it. It went pretty good. She made fun of me during the shoot, but eh. I don't take things seriously! I even brought my blanket for warmth, and ended up using it during the shoot. I took it as fun teasing! It was a little negative, but hey.. that could just be her personality, right!? Thats fine. I can deal!

Now, short time goes by. I believe around 3 days. Her and I talked super often, laughing about things, making fun of silly things.. It was like we were super close. I talked to her, explaining "Wow, I cannot wait to learn more. Shooting with you has already taught me more on posing the woman body!" Ugh.. I talked her up. I just continuously told her how amazing she was! I am HUGE on raising others up!

So, I ask double S.. "Will you second shoot for me?" It goes fine. My new light set wouldn't  work, she had a speed light.. ugh, thank heavens! Saved my butt. I am so glad the second photographer I hired (yes, hired. Keep that in mind) had a backup source.

Couple days go by. We edit a couple boudoir images, and Double S messages me. She was freaking out! Her images were out of focus! Her darn lens. I felt so bad. She asks if she can edit one of mine or something to post along with a few other messages, and I just volunteered.. "Girl. I don't care! I can do six or three doesn't matter, I was gonna edit extras because I love them hahahaha Girl don't stress"

So, I do. I deliver them. Okay, awesome.

I edit our second model. I post them. Okay, whatever..

I get a message. This models husband didn't like the ones I posted of her! Crap. He was fine with the ones double S posted. So, our model asked if she could pay me since I couldn't use mine. I did not even know where to begin.. so I agreed. I said, Sure. Just pay half of what the session would cost if you want since I cannot use the images of you for my port like originally planned.

Well. that was the wrong answer. I let double S know about it all.. and she got livid.

Crap. I did something seriously wrong apparently. I told her, hey.. you can have the money! She offered, I just figured it was good business practice. Nope. She was angry. She wouldn't chill out. She wouldn't let it go. I tried so hard, begging her to let me know what I could do to make it right. I just let her be mad at me, continue to make petty remarks until I finally was over it. I. BEGGED. HER. I pleaded. I kissed her butt. I didn't realize I did something bad. I asked advice.. every CLOSE friend of mind (again didn't mention the situation or names), agreed I did what I should have.. Yet.. I was just worried about upsetting her. She told me, she doesn't understand why this model would pay me, not her.. blablabla..

Now.. she kept making remarks saying it was her shoot, she should be paid if anything.. she did it all. She posed. She styled. Her idea.. I was like, WHOA. Absolutely not. That.. that was NOT true, and I told her every single thing I came up with. Now. After being ripped into, I had enough.. She made me feel like crap. She ripped me a new one.. I mean. Harsh.

I messaged a local photographer. He was friends with tons of people in the area! My friend T told me about him, saying he is super nice if I want to collaborate with a chill person.

I message him. I had messaged him in the past about random things! Trying to make new friends in the area I had moved back to.

The message read as following.

"Hey! I have a question. I'm working hard on modeling the female body this new year, I was wondering if there is a resource you prefer? I was working with/learning with another photographer but long story short, it didn't workout or we could steal T and do some fun stuff LOL

He replied:

Oh no, sorry things didn't work out!

so are you talking about posing? Or modeling in general?"

Thats it. It was great! No drama, no names, no obvious conflicts.. Him and I talked on and off for a couple weeks...

and then I start seeing more statuses from double T.

So, I made a blog post.. because I fed into it. I felt like I needed to fight back, since I knew she was talking badly about me. Statuses, etc.

My post basically said I collabed with another photographer after seeing these amazing Pinterest images she found.

Whoops, bad thing to say..

That escalated. Maybe that was bad of me.. I don't know. It was petty, but I felt the need to defend myself.. which, does NOT make it okay.

She made a huge post.. I get on Facebook. Guess what face I see? The second model. She took her out behind my back, doing another boudoir shoot of her. She posted this photo, and ripped into me in the post. I mean.. wow. No names, but obviously about me. She talked badly on my style, bad about my posing, bad about everything.. ugh. It was awful. I was so sad. I blocked her after messaging her, because I was so upset! I couldn't believe she did that. She admitted to it being about me.

Then, she proceeded to tell me how I have no idea who I am messing with, nobody cares about me, and she knows I've been talking bad about her.. WHAT!!?!?!?!?!?!?!? NO WAY! I had not said a single word about her. She tells me nobody cares, and blablabla.

She acted completely innocent. Eventually, I just said one thing. "I don't understand why you have to be such a mean human." I was so done.. I couldn't believe how nasty her words were. Letting me know how irrelevant I was, and how nobody cares and nobody would ever copy me.

She calls me. We hash it out, that was the end of it... or so I thought. Turns out.. this other photographer was the one she said I talked bad about her too. She pretended she heard about it from other people, which I mean.. was obviously not true. It was rough. Turns out, those two were talking about me behind my back. She didn't go into much detail.

Well. I hadn't talked to her. She talked bad about me to this photographer, and hey.. it bothered me. Should it have? No. She bullied me, and scared me into thinking she could Ruin me.. all for what? What did I do? Exist?

We stop talking. The last thing I heard from her, was her asking if I lost a lens cap.

I see her at the store, avoiding eye contact.

I made the decision.. that hey. If she wants to talk bad about me, good on her.. but I won't give her a reason. If somebody believes her.. then they aren't worth convincing.

I get on Facebook yesterday. Turns out, she blocked me. I can only assume it was due to the encounter at the store, or because I posted a status looking for a second shooter when she used to be mine.

Truth is? It hurt me. I still cannot believe something so silly arose. I begged and begged. I didn't want her destroying my name.. I was so nice. I let her rip into me. I did. Multiple times, before finally standing up for myself..

Truth is? I am a people pleaser. I begged her. Literally, begged her. I begged her to let me know what I could do, or what I should have done. In the end.. those people will always find a reason to not like you. Count on that. I did things wrong, but you know what.. those people? Will always find a way and a reason to hate you.

I learned a lesson. You DO NOT need to please everybody. Sometimes, people will hurt you in order to heal themselves. Let them. Learn YOUR lesson, move on.

Is it dumb drama? Absolutely. Is it something that eats at me? Sure is. Is it silly? absolutely.