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soft-sunflower · 4 years

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Flower of Evil Thoughts: Part 1- Episode 11

OKAY. FIRST OF ALL. WAS I RIGHT OR WAS I RIGHT? ABOUT MANY THINGS. I KNEW we were in for a massive emotional blow from Hyunsoo. I KNEW we were in for getting our hearts utterly wrecked by him and Jiwon. I know mine is. I KNEW who the accomplice was. I just... KNEW. I love that so many of my theories were correct from the get go. Alright, on we go to this week's episode thought post made by yours truly.

Alright so, we begin our episode at the hospital. OMG!!! Our little baby girl Eunha had just been born!!! Jiwon is overcome with all kinds of emotion. One of the things she says is "I'm grateful that she made it." It makes me wonder if there were complications during Eunha being delivered? Hyunsoo is trying to understand the reason for his wife's tears, and expresses to her that he's worried when she asks what's on his mind. I have a pretty good idea of what he's worried about, but obviously he cannot say this to Jiwon.

"What if she doesn't like me?" Translates to

"What if she resents having me for her father? What if she ends up like me, unable to express or understand emotions? What if she ends up like my father? What if she doesn't have your personality? What if I fail her the way I was failed growing up?"

Of course he can't say this because he doesn't even really know nor understand it himself. Then their baby girl starts to cry. Hyunsoo looks curiously at her and asks Jiwon

"Why did she suddenly burst into tears?"

Jiwon explains she probably shares their feelings.

"There's a lot she wants to say, but she can't put it into words yet."

I feel like this is important to pay attention to. A lot she wants to say, but can't put it into words and this is why she's crying. Hmmm...

Alright, so back to Haesoo discovering the green bracelet back when the hospital opened, and she hears a strange sound outside. I have to admit, when she ripped open the curtains, it gave me a jumpscare haha. I thought something BAD was gonna be out there waiting for her! They sure do a good job at keeping the suspense up! I wasn't sure what was going to happen. lol You never can tell in this drama. It's always got me on my toes. Haesoo is getting closer and closer to the accomplice. She can feel it. I can too, but it has me worried.

OKAY so, we finally pick back up at the scene in present-day for Jiwon where last week's episode ended with Detective Choi Jaeseop confronting Jiwon about Do Hyunsoo's identity. I felt a very strong, almost brotherly aspect from Detective Choi here with Jiwon, but he still frustrated me unbelievably. I get it, he's a cop. Just doing his job, but still... please use your brain on this rather than taking a cold case at face value. There's A LOT more going on he does not know. I have to give him props for covering smoothly for Jiwon. I know he isn't doing this to hurt Jiwon. That this is his job, but I don't have to like it. I just hate how he acts on his gut feeling and what he's "heard" or hearsay rather than working with Jiwon to uncover the truth that Do Hyunsoo did not kill the village foreman.

Also excuse me?? I'm sorry, Detective Choi, but her emotions are VERY VERY real. Whether you want to believe that or not. Jiwon knows so much more than you do about this entire ordeal and you should stop riding on your own emotions for a moment and work with your teammate rather than telling her she needs off the case. Such as, finding out the real Heeseong is NOT dead. He's been comatose for 14+ years and now he's wide awake and talking. This is one case she HAS to be on no matter what. Because he is so dearly misinformed. I'm getting a little tired of this "He's deceiving you" crap about Hyunsoo because we all know this isn't the truth. Yes, he kept his real identity secret, but he never faked anything around her. He showed her openly who he really is and can be. He was NEVER Baek Heeseong. He was ALWAYS Do Hyunsoo. A good person.

When Jiwon fell to her knees pleading (Moon Chaewon's delivery of "Sunbae, please!" and "I'll put my life on the line to prove his innocence!" hurt so much that if I had been standing, I would've went to my knees too *sob* Well done, girl) to him. I do like how he wanted to try and protect her by saying "You don't know anything." I have to give him some credit for that.

"It's obvious how the world will see him. Everyone will throw rocks at him and taunt him indefinently."

Oh Jiwon... he's already been through that. LITERALLY. *glares are freaking Moojin* But we definitely don't want that happening to him again. He's a GOOD man and he deserves for the world to see that he's good and he's innocent. You are going to be the one who can prove who he is to the world. And no, Detective Choi... she won't thank you. Not now or ever for arresting any innocent man that also happens to be her husband. I'm sorry, but no. She won't.

We cut to Hyunsoo and Moojin together in Hyunsoo's car... I knew from the start that this operation was too well put together. There's no way that transaction was gonna flow as smoothly as Hyunsoo hoped it would. Though I'm glad that Moojin did come along for help and I'm glad that Hyunsoo had a plan B if things went south, which they ALWAYS do because hello? This is Kdrama world haha. The bugging device was clever on Hyunsoo's part, and I'm glad he was thinking ahead on that one. This stuff is never bound to go right. And once again, clever clever with turning on the switch AFTER he'd been ran over with the detector. Nice one.

Alright, Detective Choi earned more redemption from me here when he smoothly lied to their fellow teammates about "Eunha being sick and in the hospital." I will give him more credit here. Credit where credit is due, but I am SO proud of Jiwon for not backing down on this, stepping in and taking charge. Girl, GET. IT!! Protect your man!!!I LOVE her fierce determination here. You aren’t gonna stop her, sunbae.

YES!!! Moojin has the address to where the people captured by the human traffickers are waiting! I'm so glad for this honestly. I'm really glad Hyunsoo bugged that bag. Jiwon gets the call from the "informant" (Moojin pretending to be Hyunsoo, which YES she IS needed on this case THANK YOU very much) and now they know where they can rescue those kidnapped people while busting the trafficking ring.

"You want me to just stay in the office and wait!? What would you do in my shoes?"

And it seems Detective Choi has a moment of conscience here because what WOULD he do? He's got a wife too, right? What would HE do if this were HIS wife that he so dearly loves??? That's right. He'd be just like Jiwon. Who wouldn't??

Ahhh, just as Yeom Sangchul is about to hand over the photos of the accomplice to Hyunsoo, his phone rings... and guess what it says on the screen? BAEK. Yep. That's right. Freaking BAEK. And it's the unfather. It's Baek Manwoo calling to not only put a hit out on Hyunsoo but to tell the trafficker that he's working with the police to catch them and offers him TWICE the money he's already giving them if they kill Hyunsoo... I mean REALLY??? WTF you shady bastard! I had a BAD feeling from him since the very first episode and those bad feelings just continue to be confirmed to me. This whole Baek family are nothing but creepy, shady, untrustworthy assholes covering up some major shit such as WORKING WITH HUMAN TRAFFICKERS. Down to the point that Yeom Sangchul called him "Sir." UGH. DISGUSTING.

Heeseong is "scared" of Do Hyunsoo? Oh please... Why I do I feel like a lot of this that he's pulling off is a big act? I dunno. I could be wrong but I do not trust him in the least.

And now Noona!? Girl what are you DOING!? Haven’t you ever heard the term Stranger Danger? Well, these are strangers and this is danger! Watching her go behind those iron gates just gives me this creepy "point of no return" vibe. You know? She is far far too trustworthy... Was it smart to tell them her name?? And that Hyunsoo is her brother?? The look on Heeseong's face SCREAMS guilty when he hears Haesoo speak her name. I'm JUST saying. He's fucked. He KNOWS who Haesoo is after all.

YESSSS!!!! So gratifying watching the cops BUST that trafficking ring! Thank you, Hyunsoo!! Your tip off just saved A LOT of lives. I really hope the cops so eager to imprison him realize this too on top of his innocence. Jiwon and Jaeseop's chase of the bartender on the bridge was awesome. I loved watching Jiwon switch directions with both her and Jaeseop have him surrounded on that bridge. When I saw Jiwon get stabbed I screamed. I really screamed. Because I thought for sure she was hurt, and thank GOD she had protective gear on. I love how she reemed Jaeseop's ass for not wearing his. HAH! And you didn't want her on this case! My girl is a legit badass.

Then when Jaeseop told her not to butt in in the future, and asked if she knew how scared he was (awww like a big ole brother protecting his sister), Jiwon tells him "I have no future." Oh god... *chokes* Yes you do, baby girl. Yes you do. You just don't know it yet. They capture the guy, are about to head back and she tells him "I still have something to do." YESSSS Queen. Go get your man! He's still wearing his watch. You'll find him so go get him out of that dangerous place!!!

Annnnd now the big moose trafficker guy working with Yeom Sangchul is beating the holy hell out of our Hyunsoo. I knew this was bound to happen. NONE of these things ever go properly or smoothly in Kdrama and of course it's for dramatic affect, but still. It's hard to watch him get tossed around and beaten like a ragdoll. Hyunsoo tries to fight back, but it's almost like no will is there. He's just going through the motions. He throws Hyunsoo into a shelving unit and slams his head off of a glass bottle, shattering it and busting his head open. And then he slams his head through a glass cabinet door. Again... another head injury. (This poor man seriously needs to get thoroughly checked and evaluated for head injury, fractures, contusions, concussions, etc... because with how much he's hit his head... goodness!!!)

Awww, Moojin... you tried really hard to save Hyunsoo, didn't you with the fire extinguisher act? That's definitely a redeeming quality for you here. I'm grateful you did that, even if it wasn't very effective. He can't get out, Moojin.. he's had the shit beat out of him and now he's tied up. But I so appreciate your efforts in trying to rescue our protagonist. Why does Lee Joongi have to be so incredibly gorgeous, even when he's got bloody head wounds and is all tied up. Gosh. My brain is thinking lots of things. Okay let's FOCUS.

THIS WHOLE BAEK FAMILY IS A SHADY, FAKE, LYING SACK OF SCUM. PLEASE, Noona... PLEASE do not fall for this. HAH. Well, their son isn't comatose anymore. He's wide awake. Also, took pity on Hyunsoo!? No they didn't. Not even CLOSE. They used him to their advantage. They're worried Hyunsoo will get caught up in it? HAHA! BULLSHIT. And you KNOW he isn't a criminal and yet you treat him like one!? Why not just leave the him TF alone. He doesn't want your son's identity anymore. You're putting hits on him with a human trafficker and you're gonna act like he matters? Noona, please... PLEASE don't fall for their act.

Oh she's telling them too much. WAY too much. She's giving them too much vital information, and I'm really afraid that this is going to be somehow used against her... especially in regards to the accomplice... who I believe is also CHEWING HIS NAILS ON HIS LEFT HAND. JUST LIKE I SAID HE WAS DOING IN THE PREVIEW. WHICH IS ANOTHER LEAD TO HIM BEING THE ACCOMPLICE. Those left nails. Chewed off. Nervous habit obviously, but STILL OBVIOUS OKAY. The real Heeseong IS the accomplice. Look at the way the whole Baek family behaves. They're a horrible, scary, shady family trying to cover their murderous son's ass.

Ohhhh CRAP, Moojin!!! He is getting the holy HELL beat out of him and he's getting it on video on his phone too! Like WOW!!! People are seeing this stuff live!!! This is absolutely crazy!!! No good stomping the phone, bro. All of that was just broadcast live. Good luck getting out of your lil trafficker ring hideout on time. You're gonna burn Hyunsoo alive??? Seriously??? That's pretty cruel. At least Hyunsoo tries to be clever by also trying to weasel the name out of the guy that ratted him out. Oh if ONLY Hyunsoo could find out!! That's MORE valuable information to help clear his name! That the shady unfather put a hit out on him. He deserves to know that this man is out for his blood.

YASSSSSSSSSS JIWON!!!! GO QUEEN!!! GO AND SAVE YOUR MAN!!!! GET HIM OUTTA THERE AND BLOW THAT TRAFFICKER'S HEAD OFF!!!! Obviously this isn't going to happen. Jiwon wouldn't kill unless absolutely necessary is what I believe. She is a police officer after all, but there was NOTHING like watching Jiwon have her gun to that piece of garbage excuse for a human being gang punk bastard's head while looking at her husband saying "Sweetie, are you alright?" It's a whole.fucking.ass.mood. I'll reiterate my statement from earlier. JIWON IS A LEGIT BADASS. She is such an amazing lead female. The look on Hyunsoo’s face... It’s like he’s in a state of shock.

YAY!!! The victims are FREE!!! Thank god In Seo is okay!! And yes, sweet precious baby boy. You can go home. You most certainly can go home and don't ever EVER run away from your mother ever again. You stay next to her and both of you need to protect each other and keep each other out of any dangerous situations, y'know, like showing up in shady places that involve a human trafficking ring. No more trying to take on fake jobs that will "make you lots of money." That's the first sign it's a dangerous situation and non-legit. Also, I love how the team leader knows Jaeseop is lying to him, but that he wouldn't do it without good reason. And I'm glad he's still keeping it up. I like that he's still protecting Jiwon. Even if that means lying to their team leader. He's going to make his arrest in the morning, but he's going to let Jiwon and Hyunsoo have the whole night together... oh god, my heart. Please don't imprison an innocent man...

Oh, Hyunsoo... oh honey. You can see emotion beginning to brim the surface here as he stumbles out Jiwon's name saying "You knew...?" Yes, sweetheart. She's known for a little while now, and she was completely unsure of what to do or how to tell you until she got the truth of it all. And here she is. Getting you out of there. Rescuing you and protecting you. Jiwon is your fiercest protector. That much is clear. And OMG DO NOT PUT YOUR GUN AWAY JIWON. GET YOUR CUFFS BUT DO NOT... OH NO!!!!

Gangster piece of SHIT is attacking her!!! And Hyunsoo is LOSING it because he's tied up and he can't get to his wife! So what does he do while he watching this nasty bastard try to kill her? ADRENALINE SURGE! He literally BUSTS the handles off the cabinet with tied up arm strength alone because the idea of his wife being choked to death in front of him has sent him into a frenzy, gets his hands free and beats the ever living deserving SHIT out of Yeom Sangchul, to the point that he's seeing RED and he's going to kill this son of a bitch for daring to lay a hand on his wife. He's in full blown protective husband mode and it's actually pretty hot. I can't help it. It is. Whenever JG fights, he is like fire hot sexy af, and I LOVE every moment of it.

Okay, so Jiwon pulls him off of Sangchul and here we go... she's telling him. He's telling him she knows. She's telling him that Detective Choi has evidence that he's Do Hyunsoo, and the way she tells him he can't go home (omg his FACE at this words...) keeps telling him to go, slaps his chest and shoves him back, tells him to run and never come back to her again, and the look on his face breaks my heart, because I feel like this tells him she knows and doesn't want him anymore. She knows your real identity and this is why she wants you gone. She doesn't love you anymore, she wants you gone. The person Do Hyunsoo is not worth the love of a woman like Cha Jiwon.

“You’re good at running and hiding!” Ohhh ouch, Jiwon... I truly believe that this is how he feels because that's how he's lived all of his life. Believing himself unworthy of love because of all the adults who failed him in his life, the adults who didn't help him, teach him, show him what it's like to be loved, what love feels like, what the emotions that accompany love feel like. He's emotionally shaken. It's written all over his face, his eyes, and his body language. The man who supposedly can't recognize emotion is getting very emotional. He's lost. He doesn't know what to do. Jiwon is just as equally crushed. She doesn't want to lose her husband, but of course Hyunsoo does not know this. He believes Jiwon doesn't want him anymore. So he does as he's told and leaves the room with his head bowed. All Jiwon can do is cry over her retreating husband. That was hard to watch...

Moojin rushes in to find Jiwon on the phone asking for backup and Yeom Sangchul unconscious on the floor...

To be continued in Part 2

#flower of evil #lee joon gi #moon chae won #do hyun soo #cha ji won #lee joongi #moon chaewon #do hyunsoo #cha jiwon #joonchae couple #episode thoughts #flower of evil episode 11

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dfroza · 4 years

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A real form of bravery is standing in the eternal truth of Love

because there are people who fight against it. and True illumination has been revealed by our Creator as illuminated in the Son and we who believe are meant to stand without being afraid of what the world may think.

in Today’s reading from the book of Acts (chapter 24) we see a courtroom scene with Paul stating his defense for sharing the new covenant of grace:

[Paul’s Trial before Felix]

Five days later, Ananias the high priest arrived in Caesarea, accompanied by some Jewish elders and Tertullus, their prosecuting attorney. They were brought before the governor to present formal charges against Paul. After Paul was summoned, Tertullus accused him, saying, “Your Excellency Felix, under the shadow of your wise leadership we Jews have experienced a long period of peace. Because of your wise foresight, many reforms are coming to pass in our nation because of you, Most Honorable Felix. We deeply appreciate this and thank you very much.

“So that I won’t weary you with a lengthy presentation, I beg you to hear our brief summary, with your customary graciousness. For we have found this man to be a contagious plague, a seditious man who continually stirs up riots among the Jews all over the world. He has become a ringleader of the sect known as the Nazarenes. He has even attempted to desecrate our temple, which is why we had him arrested. We sought to judge him according to our law, but Commander Lysias came with great force, snatched him away from our hands, and sent him here to you. He has ordered his accusers to come to you so that you could interrogate him and ascertain for yourself that all these charges we are bringing against him are true.”

All the Jews present joined in the verbal attack, saying, “Yes, it’s true!”

[Paul’s Defense before Felix]

The governor motioned that it was Paul’s turn to speak, so he began to answer the accusations.

“Because I know that you have been a judge over this nation for many years, I gladly respond in my defense. You can easily verify that about twelve days ago, I went to Jerusalem to worship. No one found me arguing with anyone or causing trouble among the people in the synagogues or in the temple or anywhere in the city. They are completely unable to prove these accusations they make against me.

“But I do confess this to you: I worship the God of our Jewish ancestors as a follower of the Way, which they call a sect. For I believe everything that is written in the Law and the Prophets. And my hope is in God, the same hope that even my accusers have embraced, the hope of a resurrection from the dead of both the righteous and the unrighteous. That’s why I seek with all my heart to have a clean conscience toward God and toward others.

“After being away from Jerusalem for several years, I returned to bring to my people gifts for the poor. I was in the temple, ritually purified and presenting my offering to God, when they seized me. I had no noisy crowd around me, and I wasn’t causing trouble or making any kind of disturbance whatsoever. It was a group of Jews from western Turkey who were being unruly; they are the ones who should be here now to bring their charges if they have anything against me. Or at least these men standing before you should clearly state what crime they found me guilty of when I stood before the Jewish supreme council, unless it’s the one thing I passionately spoke out when I stood among them. I am on trial today only because of my belief in the resurrection of the dead.”

Felix, who was well acquainted with the facts about the Way, concluded the hearing with these words: “I will decide your case after Commander Lysias arrives.” He then ordered the captain to keep Paul in protective custody, but to give him a measure of freedom, he allowed any of his friends to visit him and help take care of his needs.

[Paul Speaks to Felix and Drusilla]

Several days later, Felix came back with his wife, Drusilla, who was Jewish. They sent for Paul and listened as he shared with them about faith in Jesus, the Anointed One. As Paul spoke about true righteousness, self-control, and the coming judgment, Felix became terrified and said, “Leave me for now. I’ll send for you later when it’s more convenient.”

He expected to receive a bribe from Paul for his release, so for that reason he would send for Paul from time to time to converse with him.

Two years later, Felix was succeeded by Porcius Festus. Before he left office he decided to leave Paul in prison as a political favor to the Jews.

The Book of Acts, Chapter 24 (The Passion Translation)

Today’s paired chapter of the Testaments is the 17th chapter of 1st Samuel that documents the ancient story of David and Goliath and a challenge issued by Goliath who was defeated by David:

The Philistines drew up their troops for battle. They deployed them at Socoh in Judah, and set up camp between Socoh and Azekah at Ephes Dammim. Saul and the Israelites came together, camped at Oak Valley, and spread out their troops in battle readiness for the Philistines. The Philistines were on one hill, the Israelites on the opposing hill, with the valley between them.

A giant nearly ten feet tall stepped out from the Philistine line into the open, Goliath from Gath. He had a bronze helmet on his head and was dressed in armor—126 pounds of it! He wore bronze shin guards and carried a bronze sword. His spear was like a fence rail—the spear tip alone weighed over fifteen pounds. His shield bearer walked ahead of him.

Goliath stood there and called out to the Israelite troops, “Why bother using your whole army? Am I not Philistine enough for you? And you’re all committed to Saul, aren’t you? So pick your best fighter and pit him against me. If he gets the upper hand and kills me, the Philistines will all become your slaves. But if I get the upper hand and kill him, you’ll all become our slaves and serve us. I challenge the troops of Israel this day. Give me a man. Let us fight it out together!”

When Saul and his troops heard the Philistine’s challenge, they were terrified and lost all hope.

Enter David. He was the son of Jesse the Ephrathite from Bethlehem in Judah. Jesse, the father of eight sons, was himself too old to join Saul’s army. Jesse’s three oldest sons had followed Saul to war. The names of the three sons who had joined up with Saul were Eliab, the firstborn; next, Abinadab; and third, Shammah. David was the youngest son. While his three oldest brothers went to war with Saul, David went back and forth from attending to Saul to tending his father’s sheep in Bethlehem.

Each morning and evening for forty days, Goliath took his stand and made his speech.

One day, Jesse told David his son, “Take this sack of cracked wheat and these ten loaves of bread and run them down to your brothers in the camp. And take these ten wedges of cheese to the captain of their division. Check in on your brothers to see whether they are getting along all right, and let me know how they’re doing—Saul and your brothers, and all the Israelites in their war with the Philistines in the Oak Valley.”

David was up at the crack of dawn and, having arranged for someone to tend his flock, took the food and was on his way just as Jesse had directed him. He arrived at the camp just as the army was moving into battle formation, shouting the war cry. Israel and the Philistines moved into position, facing each other, battle-ready. David left his bundles of food in the care of a sentry, ran to the troops who were deployed, and greeted his brothers. While they were talking together, the Philistine champion, Goliath of Gath, stepped out from the front lines of the Philistines, and gave his usual challenge. David heard him.

The Israelites, to a man, fell back the moment they saw the giant—totally frightened. The talk among the troops was, “Have you ever seen anything like this, this man openly and defiantly challenging Israel? The man who kills the giant will have it made. The king will give him a huge reward, offer his daughter as a bride, and give his entire family a free ride.”

[Five Smooth Stones]

David, who was talking to the men standing around him, asked, “What’s in it for the man who kills that Philistine and gets rid of this ugly blot on Israel’s honor? Who does he think he is, anyway, this uncircumcised Philistine, taunting the armies of God-Alive?”

They told him what everyone was saying about what the king would do for the man who killed the Philistine.

Eliab, his older brother, heard David fraternizing with the men and lost his temper: “What are you doing here! Why aren’t you minding your own business, tending that scrawny flock of sheep? I know what you’re up to. You’ve come down here to see the sights, hoping for a ringside seat at a bloody battle!”

“What is it with you?” replied David. “All I did was ask a question.” Ignoring his brother, he turned to someone else, asked the same question, and got the same answer as before.

The things David was saying were picked up and reported to Saul. Saul sent for him.

“Master,” said David, “don’t give up hope. I’m ready to go and fight this Philistine.”

Saul answered David, “You can’t go and fight this Philistine. You’re too young and inexperienced—and he’s been at this fighting business since before you were born.”

David said, “I’ve been a shepherd, tending sheep for my father. Whenever a lion or bear came and took a lamb from the flock, I’d go after it, knock it down, and rescue the lamb. If it turned on me, I’d grab it by the throat, wring its neck, and kill it. Lion or bear, it made no difference—I killed it. And I’ll do the same to this Philistine pig who is taunting the troops of God-Alive. God, who delivered me from the teeth of the lion and the claws of the bear, will deliver me from this Philistine.”

Saul said, “Go. And God help you!”

Then Saul outfitted David as a soldier in armor. He put his bronze helmet on his head and belted his sword on him over the armor. David tried to walk but he could hardly budge.

David told Saul, “I can’t even move with all this stuff on me. I’m not used to this.” And he took it all off.

Then David took his shepherd’s staff, selected five smooth stones from the brook, and put them in the pocket of his shepherd’s pack, and with his sling in his hand approached Goliath.

As the Philistine paced back and forth, his shield bearer in front of him, he noticed David. He took one look down on him and sneered—a mere youngster, apple-cheeked and peach-fuzzed.

The Philistine ridiculed David. “Am I a dog that you come after me with a stick?” And he cursed him by his gods.

“Come on,” said the Philistine. “I’ll make roadkill of you for the buzzards. I’ll turn you into a tasty morsel for the field mice.”

David answered, “You come at me with sword and spear and battle-ax. I come at you in the name of God-of-the-Angel-Armies, the God of Israel’s troops, whom you curse and mock. This very day God is handing you over to me. I’m about to kill you, cut off your head, and serve up your body and the bodies of your Philistine buddies to the crows and coyotes. The whole earth will know that there’s an extraordinary God in Israel. And everyone gathered here will learn that God doesn’t save by means of sword or spear. The battle belongs to God—he’s handing you to us on a platter!”

That roused the Philistine, and he started toward David. David took off from the front line, running toward the Philistine. David reached into his pocket for a stone, slung it, and hit the Philistine hard in the forehead, embedding the stone deeply. The Philistine crashed, facedown in the dirt.

That’s how David beat the Philistine—with a sling and a stone. He hit him and killed him. No sword for David!

Then David ran up to the Philistine and stood over him, pulled the giant’s sword from its sheath, and finished the job by cutting off his head. When the Philistines saw that their great champion was dead, they scattered, running for their lives.

The men of Israel and Judah were up on their feet, shouting! They chased the Philistines all the way to the outskirts of Gath and the gates of Ekron. Wounded Philistines were strewn along the Shaaraim road all the way to Gath and Ekron. After chasing the Philistines, the Israelites came back and looted their camp. David took the Philistine’s head and brought it to Jerusalem. But the giant’s weapons he placed in his own tent.

When Saul saw David go out to meet the Philistine, he said to Abner, commander of the army, “Tell me about this young man’s family.”

Abner said, “For the life of me, O King, I don’t know.”

The king said, “Well, find out the lineage of this raw youth.”

As soon as David came back from killing the Philistine, Abner brought him, the Philistine’s head still in his hand, straight to Saul.

Saul asked him, “Young man, whose son are you?”

“I’m the son of your servant Jesse,” said David, “the one who lives in Bethlehem.”

The Book of 1st Samuel, Chapter 17 (The Message)

my personal reading of the Scriptures for Tuesday, October 6 of 2020 with a paired chapter from each Testament along with Today’s Psalms and Proverbs

A set of posts by John Parsons to accompany Today’s reading from the Bible:

"The Spirit shall testify of me" (John 15:26). But what is the testimony of the Spirit but the truth of the unconditional love of God given in Yeshua? The inner witness from heaven gives light to our darkness and overcomes all our fears. A great challenge, however, is to personally receive the blessing of God's acceptance because we demand to define the conditions in our own terms (that is, we refuse to believe). So do you really want to be made new? Are you ready to turn away from your deep-rooted and habitual distance from God by surrendering to his love for you? Salvation is about being healed from your self-imposed exile to experience God's compassion for your life. The Holy Spirit moves you beyond the rules of "religion" and the "hired servant" mentality to that of a beloved and celebrated child (Luke 15:18-24). The hired servant does not live in the house forever, but a child of the Father does: "If the Son therefore shall make you free, you shall be free in reality" (John 8:36). If you ever find yourself seeking God’s love by appealing to anything other than God’s own heart, for instance, through your religion, your good deeds, and so on, or if you withhold your inner pain, seeking to escape your sinfulness, then you are still in fear, which is a state of unbelief. Prayer means surrendering your fears, abandoning yourself to God’s heart, and letting go until you are finally able to receive the blessing...

"For all who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption (πνεῦμα υἱοθεσίας) as children, by which we cry, "Abba! Father!" The Spirit confirms within our spirit (συμμαρτυρεῖ τῷ πνεύματι ἡμῶν) that we are children of God (Rom. 8:14-16). [Hebrew for Christians]

10.6.20 • Facebook

When we receive Yeshua as the Lover of our souls, we abide in the hope of love that awaits future consummation in the world to come... Meanwhile, we are “suspended between worlds,” though the veil of this world has been rent asunder and we may now appear before the LORD in the realm of the spirit by faith. We can come “boldly” before the Throne of Grace (παρρησίας τῷ θρόνῳ τῆς χάριτος) to find help for our lives (Heb. 4:16). Note that the word translated “boldly” in this verse (παρρησίας) comes from πᾶς (all) + ῥέω (to utter), suggesting that we can speak freely to God and share everything within our heart without fear or shame. We do not need to conceal ourselves from the Divine Light -- any more than we need to perform religious rituals or offer any “prescribed prayers” to access Him. We who are trusting in God’s sheltering love understand the LORD to be our loving Savior and Redeemer. In our brokenness we can bare our souls before Him without fear ("there is no fear in love" - אין פַּחַד בָּאַהֲבָה). We can express “all our heart” to the LORD and be assured that He will help us in our hour of need (Heb. 4:16). “Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart to him; God is a refuge for us” (Psalm 62:8). [Hebrew for Christians]

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Today’s message from the ICR (Institute for Creation Research)

October 6, 2020

Filled with the Knowledge of His Will

“For this cause we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to desire that ye might be filled with the knowledge of his will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding.” (Colossians 1:9)

Paul has chosen a particular word, pleroo, to describe an action that “fills to the top” so that the knowledge about which he prays has no more space to fill. While speaking to his friends in Rome, Paul said that he was “persuaded of you, my brethren, that ye also are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge, able also to admonish one another” (Romans 15:14).

This includes the kind of knowledge (Greek epignosis) of God’s will that stresses precise and complete understanding of that will for our lives. “According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness.... that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature.” These “things” (the knowledge, the precious promises) enable us to escape “the corruption that is in the world through lust” (2 Peter 1:3-4).

This magnificent and complete knowledge of His will includes the wisdom (Greek sophia) to use the knowledge acquired by experience. And even that grace God made to abound “toward us in all wisdom and prudence” (Ephesians 1:8), which, since it comes from God, is “first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy” (James 3:17).

The wonderful knowledge and wisdom that God has provided for us includes a spiritual understanding (Greek pneumatikos sunesis), an ability to put complicated matters together with the “mind of Christ” (1 Corinthians 2:16). Indeed, “he that is spiritual judgeth all things, yet he himself is judged of no man” (1 Corinthians 2:15). “Consider what I say; and the Lord give thee understanding in all things” (2 Timothy 2:7). HMM III

to be concluded by another post from John that illuminates the significance of the Hebraic holidays in the way they all point to the Son which is the hope that all Jews will see, just as others may see clear:

The “appointed times” of the Scriptures (i.e., mo’edim: מוֹעֲדִים) were given by God to help us turn away from the omnipresent urge within the human heart to embrace vanity: "Every one of you shall revere his mother and his father and guard (שָׁמַר) my Sabbaths (שַׁבְּתתַי)... Do not turn to worthlessness (i.e., אֱלִיל) or make for yourselves any molten gods" (Lev. 19:3-4). In other words, the Biblical holidays - including Shabbat, Passover, and so on - were intended to help us to sanctify ("set apart," "make holy") the times and seasons in order to remind us of God’s Presence (Psalm 104:19). Therefore they are called mikra’ei kodesh (מִקְרָאֵי קדֶשׁ), “times in which holiness is proclaimed” (Lev. 23:2). The Torah’s declaration that these days are holy implies that they are set apart for special activities, such as commemorating God as our Creator (Shabbat), our Redeemer (Passover), our Resurrection (Firstfruits), our Lawgiver (Shavuot), our King (Rosh Hashanah), our High Priest (Yom Kippur), our Sustainer (Sukkot), and so on. In this connection it should be noted that it is a mistake to assume that the divine calendar was somehow abrogated with the cross of Yeshua, since all of the Jewish holidays center on Him, and indeed the advent of the Ruach Ha-Kodesh (Holy Spirit) occurred after the resurrection of Yeshua, precisely during the prescribed 50th day Jubilee of Shavuot or “Pentecost” (Acts 1:8; 2:1-4).

Presently our lives are “suspended” between two worlds - this world with its illusions (olam hazeh), and the real world of spiritual substance and meaning (olam haba). We exist in an “already-not-yet” state of expectation and yearning where we must consciously mediate the truth of heaven by bringing it “down to earth.” This is a truth war, and by truth I do not mean intellectual knowledge as much as the living truth that marks the lifestyle and vision of a follower of Messiah. We consciously remember Torah truth; we choose to always "set the LORD before us," and take "every thought captive to the passion of Messiah..." May God help each of us heed the call to walk in holiness by the power of His love and grace. Amen. [Hebrew for Christians]

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diddykongfan · 7 years

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well in that case: Librarian + 77 d; if that's good for you

“I might even be able to tell you when there’s a ghost around before you know it yourself.” - Demons Are a Ghoul’s Best Friend, Victoria Laurie

So, I do not recall exactly when you asked for this, @amaryllisblackthorn, but I found your ask and the quote I was supposed to use as inspiration waiting around in my drafts and I am so sorry that it’s probably been three years? Just. Judging by when most of my Librarian + fics were written. For the delay, I sincerely apologize.

Anyway, this fic became a monster of a multi-chapter, if I’m honest with you, because of how I finally got my inspiration on what it could be - and as such, this particular post is only the prologue. Though, with all the pieces that are in play, I don’t know when other chapters are actually going to come, because I just have so much to work with.

Gremma, obviously. Though the prompt comes from Victoria Laurie’s Ghost Hunter Mystery series, the AU is based more around Heather Graham’s Krewe of Hunters series. Basically the formula I derived from the Krewe of Hunters and applied to Gremma goes as such: “psychic investigator + skeptic who probably actually has a bit ofpsychic ability themselves + gruesome murder + ghosts most likely, probably ahaunted house too = sparks flying!” and in that vein, since we all know who the skeptic in the relationship is (*looks pointedly at Emma*), Graham is gaining ghost-sensing related psychic abilities!

Despite the paranormal goings-on, this is absolutely a No Curse Modern AU, with a bit of role reversal in that Graham is the one to come from out of town while Emma is established as Storybrooke’s Sheriff.

There is a murder right here in this first part, just as a warning to the reader, and there will most likely be other dark moments later on, so read at your own discretion.

Things Half in Shadow, 1/?

The Storybrooke graveyardisn’t known for being haunted; it is, very much so in the opinionsof those in the know, but it’s a fact that the folks trying to drum up tourismrefuse to acknowledge, despite the draw New England hauntings tend to have.

Maybe it’s not being thesite of a great tragedy that saves it from such a cheap fate, the MotherSuperior muses as she walks among the tombstones. She’s never liked the idea ofghosts, of souls denied their final rest, but she has believed since the day ofher own biggest failure - the day Bae Gold went missing. Even now, no one knowswhat happened, not fully, but she would have sworn before a judge that theteenager had come to her that day, terrified of his father, looking for advice.

But he couldn’t have,because at the time that she would swear she saw him, he was also seen gettingon board his stepfather’s boat, though Captain Jones himself had been down atthe Rabbit Hole.

She’d had a soft spot forBae - so sweet, and willing to believe in a way that she foundwas getting rarer as years passed, to believe not just in a higher power but inthe goodness of man. It wasn’t the first time he’d come to her because hisfather’s abuse of power unsettled him, just the most openly frantic.

Except he could not havebeen two places at once, and he has come to her since - though it’s been nearlytwenty years, and he hasn’t aged in that time, he does appear in her officeevery year like clockwork, the anniversary of that last day. He doesn’t speak,anymore, just stands silent in the corner, and she mourns his bright spark and regretsnot doing more to help before he was lost to them all.

(Others might write offher visions of Bae as her own guilty conscience. But she knows the clock on thewall read 8:15 that night, when he arrived, and multiple witnesses at the docksconfirmed the same time for their sighting. She knows that something happened,something not just in her mind.)

Since then, she’s quietlyaccepted the souls between the headstones, makes a point to keep them companyweekly, as she’s doing now. Even if she has not seen them, she can feel in herheart it’s the right course of action.

But Bae only visits oncea year, the end of June, and on this chilly October evening, she is as far fromexpecting to see him as is humanly possible.

Yet there he stands, overthe grave his mother has occupied since her heart attack. He looks almostalive, the darling boy.

“Sister!” she could swearshe hears him, swear there is fear in his eyes, “Sister, you have to run!Run now!”

How odd. Butshe trusts in God well enough to know if Bae is telling her to run, He sent theboy for her protection.

Unfortunately, perhaps due to the surprise of seeing him unexpectedly, shehesitates to act on it too long for the warning to be of any use, somethingcrashing into the back of her skull with a sickening crunch as the boy’sfrantic spirit fades from view.

…

A few years ago, when theteam had only just formed, Graham might have been surprised to find Aurorasitting atop her husband’s desk, journal and pen in hand, glaring at whatevershe’d written like it personally offended her.

Now, not so much. Thoughhe is unsure why he’s faced with this sight instead of… Well, Phillip hadcalled him in to meet, hadn’t he? There had been a voicemail on his phone tothat effect, and stating he should just walk in when he arrived, when he’dwoken that morning. He’d gotten in as soon as he could. And yet, the man isclearly out of the office, for the time being.

Aurora’s dreams areplagued by spirits begging for help, but they can only communicate with herthrough oftentimes gruesome images.

He knows she envieshim his form of speaking to spirits - he feels, sees, andhears them in the waking world, where they are far more eloquent, so long asthey actually know they’re dead. If not, they tend to be in a state of shock,wondering why no one can see them, hear them, and why they’re- Stuck, for lackof a better word.

“What was it this time?”he asks. It may not be what he’s here for, and if it was particularlydistressing he would probably be the worst at providing any sort of comfort,because his social skills are… Lacking, as Ruby puts it. But he knows that ithelps Aurora to have someone listen, and he can do that, at least. She looks upat him, and her anger from before falls into sadness.

“A woman,” shesays, “Her son’s been missing twenty years, but I didn’t feel him. She’slong dead, but she was terrified for a nun that used to be kind to the missingboy. I think the nun may already be gone, I saw– She was on the woman’s grave,and there was… Quite a bit of blood.”

Between the six of them,blood and gore and murder are nothing new. He was NYPD Homicide before he wason this team, Belle worked in forensics in New Orleans, Ruby had been asmall-town deputy… Phillip had been in the FBI three years before getting thisassignment. August was an expert at special effects and sleight of hand, andspecifically debunking fake video and audio, but he’d gained experience on thejob. Aurora had been a nurse before her abilities got her invited in – sheisn’t squeamish, so that she seems reluctant to say what she saw attests thather vision must have been worse than usual.

Aurora’s visions, whenthey aren’t already on a case, almost invariably precede their getting calledin. He knows that as well as he knows that Ruby believes her ability to findmissing people is somehow tied to her sense of smell, as well as he knows thatBelle relies more on her research and logic and forensics than she does on herability to see past events as though they were taking place in front of her, aswell as he knows that when they first started this team Phillip didn’t believe any of them actually had abilitiesbeyond the normal (Phillip still is, in many respects, a skeptic first andforemost – though much more open to possibilities now than when the teaminitially came together).

For the past few years,these people have been more of a family than he ever had in his life. So, givenhow things tend to work out for their little group, he knows that the visionwith the nun is very likely to become their next case, however it is thatalways works itself out. So he contemplates for a minute before choosing hisnext question.

“Did you get any namesfor Belle to start researching?”

She usually does – andthen it’s usually up to him and Ruby to get Belle researching before whateverproject she’s been working on between cases distracts her too much. And provideher with caffeine.

“Not this time,” Aurorashakes her head, “Not people. Not even the ghost that contacted me. But I didsee the sign for the cemetery. Storybrooke.”

…

The moment the call had come through, Emma had known it wasgoing to be a long day.

On the phone, Kathryn had been completely composed as shereported finding a dead body on her trip to the graveyard to leave flowers forher late fiancé, Frederick. But, then again, Kathryn Midas is a lawyer and theyoungest member of the town council; composurehas long been her trademark.

Emma had called in Marian and called in Doctor Whale – her deputyand the closest thing the town has to a Medical Examiner. Technically, there’ssupposed to be an election for M.E. whenever the election for the Sheriff’soffice comes due, but no one has actually run for it in years, and thus theposition falls to whatever Doctor is available.

Not that there have been an abundance of murders, or even suspicious deaths, inStorybrooke, to put it to any sort of actual test, but the system works well enough.

Kathryn’s statement in person hadn’t varied at all from whatshe’d said on the phone, except in that the shock was starting to cause herusual demeanor to come apart. She visits Frederick every Sunday, had been onher way to his final resting place when she’d seen the body and the blood and,dropping the flowers she was holding, immediately dialed her phone and stayedwell back to not disturb anything.

The blood alone had made it obvious that the Mother Superiorwasn’t going to be moving anytime soon.

“My initial findings are that it was blunt force trauma tothe back of the head,” Whale stands from his place surveying the scene. “I’llknow more after a more detailed examination in the morgue, of course. Judgingby the injuries and the blood, I’d say this is your crime scene – she wasn’tbrought here and posed after death.”

To be honest, this is the first crime more complicated thanpetty theft that she’s had to deal with since becoming Sheriff; definitely herfirst truly violent crime. Storybrooke isn’t perfect, but it’s always beenalmost too peaceful. Like somethingout of the world’s most sterilized and boring fairytale. She doesn’t complain –it makes her job easy, means she can spend plenty of time with her son, and more crime is not something any saneperson would want.

Although it does mean that she’s a bit out of her depthswith this. Knows what she’s doing, intheory, worked hard to get her criminal justice degree as a single mother,and on the surface it’s just like any other crime – find who had the motive,means, and opportunity, and find evidence, make an arrest and send them tocourt, let the jury reach a verdict.

But theory and practice are not remotely the same. And,considering who the victim has been identified as, and the fact that it’s a murder, this is the highest profilecrime in Storybrooke in something like 20 years – since she was a kid and oneof the local teenagers had disappeared.

“Emma?” She turns to where Marian had been stringing up thecrime scene tape to keep out gawkers who might trample their evidence, is morethan a little surprised to see her best friend standing there. Elsa has been Mayor a little less than a year, now– shouldn’t she be in her office, working on legislation orwhatever it is her job technically entails?

Still, she heads over. The Sheriff’s department does answerto the Mayor’s office, meaning Elsa is technically her boss, and it could beimportant.

“Anything wrong, Elsa?”

Her friend rubs gloved hands together, a nervous habit thatEmma knows well. Then, she lets out a sigh before speaking.

“Ruby called.”

The words don’t seem relevant, not really. Ruby was theirfriend, was Emma’s deputy before Marian moved to town; she’d been invited tojoin some government team after finding a few missing people after thehurricanes that had plagued the coast for the past several years, and it hadbeen a great opportunity for her career, but they haven’t spoken much since.

“You know her team is… Unconventional,” Elsa continues, andEmma crosses her arms. Yeah, unconventional is one word for it. They’ve been inthe news from a few high-profile cases they’ve solved. Supposedly, they’re allpsychics, looking at supernaturalangles to their cases to find the living, breathing humans behind them.

“One of her teammates had a vision, she said. A nun. Dead.On a grave. In the Storybrooke cemetery. Anna told me you called her to look after Henry so you could come out here, so as soon as I heard what Ruby had to say I came to see you myself.”

There’s not many ways she can respond to that; she doesn’tbelieve in psychics and visions and the paranormal, but Elsa doesn’t exactly have a reason to lie abouta story like that. About Ruby calling her to say those things.

“Why did you need to come see me?” Ruby’s teammate’s “vision”has to be a coincidence or something. Anna telling her sister about babysitting Henry for her is innocent enough, something that the younger of the Arendelle sisters would have no reason to hide if Elsa invited her to lunch and she needed to explain why she couldn’t come. Neither of those things explains Elsa being here in person instead of just calling about it.

“Ruby was worried the minute she heard Storybrooke might beinvolved. She wants – well, she wants to bring a few of her teammates down hereto help you look into things. On a volunteer basis. Considering the cemetery’sreputation, it might be prudent to-”

“The cemetery’s reputation as haunted, you mean,” Emma interrupts, her stare absolutely deadpan.The reputation that has no merit in anything except people’s imaginations; it’sjust a cemetery. A burial ground. There’s no spirits haunting the place. There can’t be, because those don’t exist.

“Listen, you know I don’t want to overstep my bounds. TheSheriff’s department is your office. But these are law enforcementprofessionals. One of them was a forensics expert, one of them was NYPDhomicide. It can’t hurt, can it? You’reshort-staffed, and Storybrooke hasn’t had to deal with something like thissince…”

Since her step-grandmother had killed several people,including her grandfather, in some sort of misguided attempt at “revenge” oversomething her mother supposedly did. But that was before she was even born,which most likely says something about the town that she doesn’t dwell on to figure out. Just because herpredecessor had thought there were holes all over the story in the Bae Golddisappearance and had a very thick file on it gathering dust in the office didn’tmean it was something of this magnitude.

“I told Ruby it was up to you,” Elsa says, instead offilling in the blank of the last time Storybrooke had a case anything likethis. “She said you would be in charge of the investigation, no one isinterested in stealing your jurisdiction. They don’t have any active casesright now--”

“Elsa, stop,” she shakes her head, brings a hand up to pinchthe bridge of her nose as she thinks. Normally she would laugh the offer off,say something along the lines of not needing ghost hunters mucking up her investigation. But they are professionals in the law enforcementfield first, Ruby herself is proof of that. And it could be nice to see herfriend again, and, more importantly, more relevantly, they have actualexperience in murder investigations that she and Marian and even Doctor Whalesimply do not have.

“I’d like to meet them before I make a decision. Can I getthat at least?”

“I’ll call Ruby back, see what we can arrange, okay?” Elsasmiles, pulling her phone from her pocket. Emma turns back to her crime scene,resumes photographing the scene and gathering evidence, refuses to feel like she’s just been manipulated into agreeing to something - she didn’t agree. Not yet.

There’s really nothing else to do but work on solving thismurder.

#amaryllisblackthorn #gremma appreciation #gremma #gremma au #(eventually anyway)#krewe of hunters au #things half in shadow #also some things feel ooc and there's a lot here that i'm 'meh' on but #i'm doing it i'm writing this au and i'm gonna see it through to the end no matter how long it takes #there's a whole bunch of characters mentioned besides gremma #and most of them will have supporting roles in some capacity #and the frozen characters are around even though i quit watching before they came in #mostly to give Emma a friend and Storybrooke a mayor who isn't Regina #(also Emma wasn't an orphan in this verse which is one of the reasons David is not her deputy)#(the other main reason being that Marian deserved better than what OUAT gave her)

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the-wig-is-a-metaphor · 7 years

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The words left Mashiro’s mouth almost of their own accord.

“A – As long as it doesn’t interfere with PCP, I … I do want Shiratori-kun to be serialized,”

He wasn’t lying per se, he really did want Shiratori to succeed, but the words tasted like ashes on his tongue anyway.

He reassured Hattori, Shiratori and Takagi that it was alright, really, that it was in their best interests, but he barely even noticed what he was saying. Everything in his head was drowned out by the wounded screams of his ego. He did want Shiratori to do well, as he kept repeating when Takagi asked, and he did want the other half of Ashirogi Muto to gain even more experience as a writer. But there was a rather large part of him that just wanted to grab the hem of Shujin’s shirt and start begging him not to leave him while whimpering like the loser he was.

And yet another part, the deepest, ugliest part of him that he took great pains to squash down, had cried out, wrathful and irrational, against Shiratori. Nevermind that the boy was a better person than Mashiro would ever be. He didn’t deserve Mashiro’s resentment, unvoiced though it was.

But the mere idea of Takagi working with someone else, sharing the product of his brilliant mind with someone that was not him … it made him want to scream. But how could he justify such childish and pointless possessiveness? Agreeing was the right thing to do.

The following weeks, as it turned out, were torture. More often than not, Takagi and Shiratori could be found on the sofa, bent over a manuscript together, heads close, looking each other in the eye with the intensity of creation …

It made him want to use the G-pen in his hand to stab someone in the eye. Three guesses as to who.

“Mashiro-sensei,” Orihara said, mercifully distracting him from his contemplations. He looked visibly perplexed, “Aren’t the lines a bit more rough than usual?”

“They are?” he asked, mortified. It was one thing to obsess over Takagi’s collaboration, quite another to mess up because of it. He was a working professional – this was unacceptable.

“I’m going to fix them,” he assured Orihara, “Otherwise I won’t be able to live with myself,”

The assistant, relieved, replied, “Thank god. I’m sorry for the impertinence, but delicacy is your signature, so I thought I had to tell you…”

Delicacy, huh. There was nothing delicate about the anxious rage he felt. He sighed to himself, starting to erase a few lines. He was pathetic. Had he been as noble and pure as people believed… then he probably would have been genuinely happy for his best friend. But it was a pain he would never speak of. Both Shujin and the assistants were better off thinking him a good soul.

“Are you sure it’s okay?” Kaya asked him softly after all the assistants had gone home. She knew him better than almost anyone, and probably saw the signs of his agitation. Takagi and Shiratori were huddled in a corner, talking excitedly, sitting very very close together…

“Of course. I need him to grow as a writer if we want to make an excellent manga that can be turned into an anime – I need to work hard as an artist as well,”

Strictly speaking, it was all true. He was just omitting the fact that the mere thought of Shiratori’s eyes, full of worship and admiration, staring up at Takagi, made him want to throw up. Given, that was nothing compared to the emptiness he felt inside when he caught Shujin gazing down at Shiratori with a fond smile – those times he ended up on the verge of tears, wondering if he really was that weak. He liked Shiratori, and of course Takagi was his best friend, but just seeing them smile at each other was excruciating.

Was this what they called jealousy? His work partner teaming up with someone else felt like he was being cheated on.

It made him feel guilty thinking about that, especially when the actual wife was there in the room.

Next day, Moriya came to his desk with a look that was even more pinched than usual – and that was saying a lot considering the assistant behaved as if he had a stick up his ass at the best of times.

“This sketch is a bit rough, if I may,” he observed. “I can’t understand what this bundle of graphite here is supposed to be,”

It was true. Now that he looked at the panel in question, the pencil strokes were noticeably rough and jumbled. You could practically feel the rage. And god, was it embarrassing… his obsessive ponderings were affecting his work again.

Over by the couch, Takagi was smiling down at Shiratori, obviously complimenting something he’d come up with.

He forced a smile. “Ah, I’m sorry, I’ll fix it immediately. If you find other mistakes or incomprehensible parts don’t hesitate to – ”

And now he had thrown an arm around his shoulders with fmiliarity, as if it was a gesture he’d done before…

“Mashiro-sensei, the pencil! It’s broken! Blood!” Moriya shrieked, uncharacteristically agitated. Mashiro did have a reputation for being a rather calm and patient type. Looking down at his hand, he noticed that indeed, he’d unconsciously snapped the pencil in two, in the process scratching his hand badly enough that rivulets of bright red were flowing copiously on the page he’d been working on.

“Ah, shit!” he swore jumping up, trying to prevent damage that had already been done. There was nothing to it, he had to re-do the page now. The exclamation had garnered the attention of everyone in the room, and now they were all staring in horror at his hand.

Immediately, everyone jumped into action, Kaya hurrying to get the first aid kit they kept in the studio for just such an emergency, Orihara jumping up and down, panicked, Moriya trying to salvage the unsalvageable page, Shiratori asking loudly in a high-pitched voice if he should call an ambulance.

Takagi was the only one who stood motionless in the chaos. Seemingly catatonic, he was staring at Mashiro’s hand with his mouth still open since he’d been in the middle of talking, and his finger pointed at a corner of the name.

When their eyes met through the confusion, though, Takagi threw the manuscript away, careless for the fact that it landed on the floor – and oh, wasn’t that gratifying to an embarrassing degree – and elbowed his way through the panicking assistants to where Mashiro was standing.

Takagi had then grabbed his wrist with utter reverence, as if he wasn’t handling a body part but a priceless artifact, and run his wide eyes up and down the appendage. He poked and prodded at it delicately, and Mashiro could practically hear his brain analyse and calculate every detail of the wound until he was satified that it was only a minor injury, that no tendon or bone had been damaged.

Then he’d used the sleeve of the shirt he was wearing – the white shirt he was wearing – to wipe away every last drop of blood from Mashiro’s hand, showing absolutely no regard for the article of cloting he was soaking probably irreversibly.

“Shujin…” he breathed, “You don’t have to – ”

“Saiko, you idiot,” he said lowly, still cradling his hand like it was his most precious possession, “You need to take better care of your hands! What if it had been so bad that you couldn’t draw manga anymore? If you couldn’t draw, It would be meaningless for me to write anymore!”

There was an odd movement beneath his sternum. For a moment, he wondered if he was having a heart attack. “You can’t stop just because of me –”

“Then be more careful!” Takagi pled. “If you don’t want to have the end of my career on your conscience, then take better care of yourself!”

It made him feel even worse that Takagi was so obviously devoted to the team while Mashiro kept being childish about his collaboration, and he’d probably be crying by now if there hadn’t been five people staring at him.

“So cool…” Orihara was whispering to Shiratori, who nodded happily. Meanwhile, Kaya was back with the first aid kit, which Takagi had immediately commandeered – without letting go of his hand – and started using it expertly to take care of Mashiro’s wound with a face so soft and bare that it was choking him up again.

When he finished disifecting the cut, he wrapped a good bit of gauze around his palm, slowly and carefully. The splinter from the pencil had damaged the flesh between thumb and index finger, a place where no plaster would ever stay in place.

Everyone got back to work when it had been determined that the wound was taken care of, but the solemn silence persisted until the end of the day.

Takagi went back to his discussion with Shiratori.

Mashiro looked at his bandaged hand. It hurt.

Mashiro tried not to hum happily, feel vindicated, or rejoice in any way at the way Shujin was failing to produce a decent manuscript fot the second chapter of Rabuta&Peace. Tried being the operative word. He couldn’t help the mean, petty satisfaction coursing through him at the sight of Shujin’s lost frown.

The week was made even better by his solo work. Oh yes – he’d been able to write a good one-shot about Azuki, which improved his mood by about a hundred times (the two things he was in love with, manga and Azuki, mixed into one was bound to have this effect).

Then of course, they’d had The Fight, because Mashiro couldn’t just openly say, ‘I don’t want you working with anyone else, because of reasons I myself don’t understand! Please stop being so touchy feely with Shiratori’.

But Takagi himself was strangely angry.

“PCP won’t become an anime….even so, if I work on this and Rabuta becomes an anime, would that make you happy?!” Shujin had said, his eyes flashing with something he couldn’t interpret, “If we want an anime, then this situation is really strange! I’m telling you to be more selfish!”

Kaya had then intervened, but the situation had turned even weirder – Takagi had called Shiratori and gone to 'observe Peace in order to write him more dog-like’.

What the hell did that even mean? Was he trying to tell him he didn’t want to work with Mashiro anymore, that Shiratori was much preferable?

After Moriya and Orihara had gone home, Shiratori announced that he was going to stop being an assistant and focus on the serialization with Takagi. In the silence that followed his departure, Kaya sighed loudly.

By now she was like a sister to him – he never lied when he said that he loved her, and he genuinely liked to make her happy. This situation was hard for her too.

“Did you hear? He’s staying at his house to observe the dog! What if – what if he cheats on me with Shiratori’s sister? She was so hot…”

“There’s no way he’ll do that,” he answered monotonously, trying to remember what he’d been doing. Somehow without Takagi to keep him on track it was difficult to even breathe. God, how needy was he? Anyone would be preferable to someone like him.

“You really think that? Because she was really hot. I mean, I guess it’s genetic since Shiratori himself is so pretty,”

Mashiro’s arm made a weird twitching movement, suspiciously similar to a stabbing motion. “He’s pretty?”

“Yeah, didn’t you look at him? He ’s so – delicate, and his feature are so symmetrical and beautiful…” she sighed, delighted by the mere memory, “His hair is glossy, and he always smells good… Wait. Do you think Akito-san is having an affair with him?!”

Mashiro’s insides went cold, and his brain refused to compute. It couldn’t be…could it? Shiratori was rather pretty… but Takagi didn’t swing that way, did he? He couldn’t help but feel like the old wife abandoned for someone prettier and younger.

He probably said something reassuring, because Kaya – the actual wife – immediately calmed down.

“No, you’re right,” she nodded with the soft smile she’d been getting ever since she and Shujin had gotten married, “I trust him. And you do too, I know. I’m sure this situation will solve itself, somehow or another,”

It did.

Takagi got home in the middle of the night, when only Mashiro was left in the studio, and said, “I won’t write the story for Rabuta&Peace – that’s Shiratori’s work. That’s why I went to his house for a few days… now he’ll be able to write alone,”

Takagi was looking relieved to be done with the problem, but also strangely hesitant, as if expecting Mashiro to get angry and refuse his apologies. Mashiro wanted to laugh aloud.

“Thank god,” he murmured. “Thank god – I thought – I thought you were about to abandon me. I don’t think I’d be able to draw for anyone else,”

Takagi, having lost his unsure air after Mashiro had so obviously expressed his relief, was staring at him with his mouth slightly open, as if trying to calculate something.

Then he laughed a bit. “I guess this is the only way for us to function, then.”

“Don’t ever write for someone else again,” he whispered.

“I won’t,”

“Promise me,”

He reached at Mashiro’s side to caress his fingers – then lifted the bandaged appendage and rested his lips on it. “I promise,”

It was so intimate, so real, that Mashiro felt himself tremble. This – this was what they were. Nothing less than everything. He thought of Takagi like a third arm, or better yet, a second head – he was in love with Azuki and nothing was ever going to change that, but that had nothing to do with Shujin. It was something completely different; a part of himself that he couldn’t abandon without amputating his own existence.

He wondered if Kaya would hate him if she knew. He suspected she was aware at some level that his and Takagi’s relationship trascended the deep friendship they passed it for, the intense kinship many guessed or even the invested love some suspected.

It was something else, something outside of what could be properly expressed with the mouth, or perceived by the mind. It was something wispy and elusive, only caught in passing with the corner of the eye, murky and ever-present, shiny and painful like a broken mirror, lingering at the edge of their consciousness. Something that could be chased, caressed and even grazed, but never quite be gotten a hold of. Dry sand slipping through the fingers, the last tendrils of a dream after waking up.

“Saiko…”

The brushing of their lips felt much the same.

#fluff #fanfiction #slashfic #platonic #bakuman #romance

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