#i spent years shutting up and avoiding making people uncomfortable by making my own self uncomfortable

[rapha-reads]

Lmao, white women are sooooo fragile. Sent a couple of posts carefully selected for their tastes to my friends' group chat on Instagram, with Motaz's profile too, because none of them so-called activists have said a word about Palestine in 3 months. I immediately got accused of being aggressive, of being disdainful of them and looking down on them, of being selfish...

I'm done taking shit from anyone and making myself small to be palatable to people who never bother asking me how I am. I answered. Said that if there was any aggressivity or disdain, it was all in their minds, and I will not shoulder their own guilt. Said that they could totally have ignored my posts, there's no obligation, and in this group chat a lot of people ignore a lot of things posted when it's not their thing, so why immediately react to my posts when you could just ignore. Said that for three months that I have been constantly talking ONLY about Palestine liberation, only one of them has reached out to me to ask me how I'm doing. Said that they are constantly forgetting that I am not just French, that I did not grew up in France, that I am not white despite my skin color, and that the people being genocided right now was my people, looked like my family, my friends, my father. Started arguing that speaking up for Palestine was not only the most humanitarian thing to do, but also extremely important for all the world, because freeing Palestine is freeing every nations from white supremacy and fascism, and that this is THE test of humanity in this 21st century, this fight, this resistance is what will influence the future of the entire planet. Said a bunch more things.

You think they'd develop some compassion and understanding? Nah. It's still "you're being so aggressive, why are you doing this now, it's december 24th, you should question your own self". Yeah, no. I'm done always apologising for daring to be myself. I'm done bowing down to make sure people are not uncomfortable. I will have the uncomfortable discussions. I will speak my mind. Also, didn't you hear, Christmas is cancelled. And um, yeah, I don't celebrate Christmas, I couldn't care less and I'm not spending time with family today, but you are, so, girl, why are you on your phone? This is Insta, not a conference call, you could totally, AGAIN, ignore my texts until tomorrow.

[daffodilhorizon]

i've always been outspoken about equal rights. It started with posts about mental illness stigma. Since being traumatized as a child, i've struggled with depression and anxiety. I opened up about this, in hopes others would feel inspired to share their stories. There's every reason why suffering from mental illness should not happen alone. Then i started talking about gay rights and biphobia and feminism and #metoo and the patriarchy. I tirelessly educated on rape culture and mansplaining. I went hard on telling people to vote (haha) for the most liberal option available. I told people about the wealth gap and classism. I educated myself and read both anarchist and communist theory, and then i started criticizing colonialism and exploitation itself. I advocated for unions, i told people to never cross a picket line and to support strikes. I was already ACAB before Ferguson, but after that i spent years reading antiracist theory and seeking out black revolutionaries. I had to tell an extended family member "all lives don't matter until black lives do". I did not shy from my work in attempting to gently radicalize the people in my life. I attempted to educate others on why we need prison and cop abolition and the alternatives. I got pretty far, even with people i don't consider leftists! Like anyone else, i of course, advocated for environmentalism. I myself do not own a car and go to great lengths to use fully renewable energy. I re-use before recycling. I avoid plastic when i can. In my veganism self-education, i learned about disability rights. This was enforced further during covid. I stopped using ableist language or comparisons. I have successfully eradicated using comparisons to intelligence in my daily life and gently correct people around me when they use them to use a better word. None of this lost me any friends. Until i brought up animal rights. Even the tamest "i'm vegan" had acquaintances putting distance between us. My entire family turned on me, simply for saying stuff like "you are a good person, you just don't see the difference between your cat and a pig because of defense mechanisms, but you would be upset if your cat went through what animals at those places do." or saying killing a turkey is wrong. Then i started losing friends and being ostracized. From people who said nothing even when i pointed out war crimes against Palestine and are full anti-capitalists. People who are open minded, and generally kind to others. People's environmentalism evaporated when i pointed out that methane from cows is x28 as heating as CO2 in the short term, that we can't stay under 2c without people being plant based, or that the majority of plastic in the ocean is from fishing nets, or that fishing is killing way more sea turtles and other "cute" animals than straws. Even just mentioning animal victims a few times every now and then is enough to make people uncomfortable. Definitely not a sign of their own guilt or anything! How painful must the reminder be, to have to completely block out not only the victims at every meal, but humans who remind them of the suffering they are inflicting as well. So it's very jarring to me now, to see other people advocating for other causes saying much more extreme things and not getting any negative social feedback. Straight up mainposting things like "you are a bad person for voting wrong" is becoming more normal with the election season coming up. But vegans get shut down simply for bringing up animal abuse, because carnists know deep down it's wrong to hurt animals and objectify them into commodities. That's why they care so much about animals they view as "cute" "pets" or value (at least on the surface) animals they admire for being free and wild such as Elephants, pretty birds, and whales.

[honeesucker]

Pairing: Alpha!Bokuto Kōtarō x F!omega reader

Genre: A/B/O AU 🐾 | Smut, 18+ // minors DNI!

WC: 3,057

My whole body was shivering despite it being a sweltering sunny day, my mind was hazy and clouded with the need to submit to an Alpha. 

To be overtaken, pounded into until I was a dumb mess of omega mush and knotted until I was fat with pups.

Fucking hormones and omega instincts.

Fucking expired heat suppressants.

Stupid fucking idiot me for not noticing until it was too late.

My rational mind fought off the swarm of nuisance thoughts as I hurried my way back to my apartment carefully avoiding anyone’s gaze, suffocating my scent glands in a thick hooded sweater and scarf I had kept at the bakery for the unexpected colder days. It didn’t do much to ward off the curious glances and sniffs from the passing Alphas and others on the street, but luckily none acted on instincts, I didn’t stick around long enough to trigger anything in them.

My thighs were sticking together uncomfortably beneath my summer dress as the slick pooled in my panties and ran down the sides. The friction against my sensitive core only added to the ache, and I had to fight every ounce of instinct in me to hold back the whimpers, to not just fall on the ground and present myself to the next suitable Alpha that crossed my path.

I just needed to get home unscathed and get on my pharmacy app to order a fresh batch of suppressants, wait out a week for them to take full affect and I’ll be good to return to my normal, uncomplicated life.

I had been lucky in avoiding anymore people. No one was waking along the final stretch that led to my apartment building; a high-rise nestled just outside of the main district of downtown but still fairly luxurious for an apartment building. After a rough time in my earlier years out on my own, I decided once my bakery was successful enough I would splurge and put myself in a comfortable apartment with extra building security for my own peace of mind. I made my way to the door where the Beta doorman was waiting with it open for me, smiling until he caught the edge of my currently overwhelming scent.

“Quick, quick in miss Y-N,” Ferris ushered me through the door and shut it behind us. Walking me to the empty elevator and pushed my floor, nearly the top, at 27 of 35. “You shouldn’t be out wandering around in such a state, it isn’t safe for you!” The older man patted my hands in his with a worried expression. I just smiled and nodded along to his worrying over me.

“I know Mr. Ferris,” I sighed, “there was an unfortunate mishap with my medication so I’m gonna be staying cooped up for a bit.” He just nodded and ushered me along, and I gave a small wave and smile as the doors closed and he gave me one final wave off. I sighed, releasing the death grip I had on the jacket around me, still covering my scent glands as best as I could, but not with so much force around my throat. I’m surprised I didn’t pass out from self-asphyxiation on the way home.

After a few minutes in the elevator my floor was finally reached with a gentle ding! and I was hurrying out into the hall to make sure I was alone. With no one around I felt safe enough to walk briskly to my apartment without any further paranoia. I was reaching my door, just about to press in my key code and slink into a week of needy depression when I heard the door slighty adjacent to mine across the hall open behind me. 

My whole body froze like a bunny caught in a wolf’s gaze.

Fuck.

“Hey hey hey, my sweet little Y/N!” A bright, jovial baritone rang out behind me, and soon I felt the looming presence of the man I feared most coming into contact with at this very moment right at my back. The immense heat radiating off of him in waves with his sweet, clean scent with mint, along with a headier male musk underneath. “You’re home early! Sorry to be a pest but did you bring any pastries home with you? I have such an awful craving right now and-” my kind, handsome neighbor regarded me silently, and what I didn’t see were his sweet golden eyes darkening to a dangerous lustful shade as he leant forward and took a gentle sniff in. A ragged breath leaving his chest as he inched forward just enough for me to feel his clothing ghosting against my back. “Y/N? Are you okay? You smell.... you s-smell so good. Different,” he slurred behind me, leaning down to rub his cheek against the top of my head and nose my hair as he took in deeper breaths. I was completely frozen, in fear or need... I couldn’t decide.

Maybe both.

When my neighbor let out a deep, rumbling groan from inside his chest I leant more towards need in my current aching state as I instinctively pressed my body back against his. “Y-Y/N you shouldn’t be out right n-now in your state s’not safe y’know...” his voice trailed off, a pained mixture of a whimper and a growl leaving his chest as I reached forward and punched in my key code to my apartment.

“Ko,” I heard the Alpha behind me purr as his name slipped from my mouth, my voice and body trembling. “I had a bit of a setback as you can tell, so no pastries today,” the whimper that left him made my cheeks warm because it wasn’t hormonal, it was just Bokuto being a pouty baby who wanted a soft bread or sweet cake.

“Mm s’okay Y/N...” Bokuto’s voice trailed off as he placed his large hands on my hips, palms swallowing my sides and pressing tightly into the plush flesh, fingers gripping down with a bruising force. He was leaning forward and placing soft kisses along my shoulder and up my neck until he licked a small strip up along where my scent glands were and I couldn’t stop the full-body shudder than shook me. “D-do you want me to stop?” His voice was a whisper, still heavy with need but more Bokuto than Alpha was talking to me. I shook my head, stepping into my apartment and allowing the Alpha to come in with me, slipping out of our shoes in a tangled mess of legs, and laughing as Bokuto hastily locked the door behind him.

“I know we’re both kind of teetering on the edge of control right now,” Bokuto continued gently, hands still gripping my sides tightly as he allowed me to set my things down on the bench in my entryway. A low growl leaving him when I almost slipped out of his hold. “But I need to know it’s not just your omega pushing you into this Y/N. I’ve admired you since I first met you, wanted you,” Bokuto was peppering my neck and the side of my face with butterfly kisses, “but if you tell me to stop, to leave... I will. Nothing will change between us if you put up a boundary for yourself right now but everything will change for the worse if you force yourself into something you don’t want...” I couldn’t believe the articulated thoughts of pure, sweet kindness coming out of Bokuto’s mouth but I was so happy to hear them. I’ve had such a huge crush on my long-time Alpah neighbor since he came knocking on my door one late evening when I was testing recipes, a mess of apologies and need as he caught a whiff of the new cakes I was trying to perfect and the poor thing had just returned home from an away game with his volleyball team, starving and exhausted. He spent the night giving me feedback on my testers and I let him sugar-crash on my couch, waking him up with a healthier breakfast more suitable for an athlete in the morning. 

We’ve been close since that day.

Well, close but not as close as right now... despite the aching deep in me that always welled up inside whenever we spent time together. My omega whimpering at how perfect of an Alpha Bokuto would be.

“Y/N?” Bokuto was asking once again, I could feel his hands shaking as his control over his instincts began to slip. 

I simply nodded.

“Y-yes Ko,” I swallowed hard when his hands gripped tighter on my hips, crushing me further against him as his arms snaked up my body to wrap me in a tight hold from behind. “I want this - I’ve wanted this, w-wanted you...” I couldn’t form full thoughts, not like he deserved to hear but we were both in a compromising state of mind right now. “P-please Alpah, need you so badly,” that was all it took to have me turned around so fast in his arms, his lips crashing against mine in a mess of teeth and saliva as pure need took over us both. One of his hands was fisted in the hair at the back of my head, the other cupping the side of my throat, his thumb stroking along my jaw as he deepened the kiss like he was trying to crawl inside my body through my mouth. 

He was pushing me back toward my couch, his hands now fumbling behind me to pull the zipper of my dress and have the fabric pooling to the ground. He growled into my mouth as he hooked two fingers in the hem of my lace panties to pull them down and off while his other hand guided me down softly onto the couch. He had me draped over the arm of the sectional as he layed down between my legs, I was able to peek open my heavy eyes in time to see the primal look on his face before he licked his lips and leant down to lick a long strip up my soaked pussy, the sensation sending electric shocks through my whole body as I arched off the couch with a yelp.

Bokuto let out a deep, rumbling growl with a whisper of “so sweet,” before diving back in and devouring my sopping pussy like a man starved. His mouthed latched around my swollen clit with a pressure that had me seeing stars as he suddenly plunged two thick fingers into me, curling upward against my sticky walls, quickly bringing me to the edge. He didn’t relent his assault on me, mouth staying locked on and fingers curling cruelly as my body shook and arched up off the couch with a shrill scream, my whole body convulsing with wave after wave of electric pleasure shocks. Bokuto removed his fingers slowly and licked them clean, blowing a cool stream of air against my sensitive clit, causing me to whimper in his hold as he delved his tongue into me to lap up more of my slick. I was a whimpering mess above him, wriggling to be free of the stimulation to the newly over-sensitive area but he kept his pink muscle deep in my pussy as his nose occasionally brushed up against my clit causing my hips to buck further against his face. The groans he was letting out were downright sinful and soon had me back on the precipice of another impending orgasm. Bokuto reached one hand up to thumb circles on my clit as he kept himself deep in my pussy, soon I was bucking up against his face as another heavy wave crashed down on me. I was panting and swearing and pleading to be released because the pleasure was stating to morph with a tinge of pain as he kept up the relentless assault.

“K-Ko please no more,” I was whining above him, my chest heaving with broken breaths. Bokuto’s mouth was shiny with my slick as he crawled up my body and crashed his lips down on mine. I could taste myself on his tongue, in combination with feeling his still-clothed cock straining against his joggers, had me mewling with need and bucking up to meet his bulge.

“You say no more but your body is begging for me,” Bokuto muses. “Do you want me to stop?” His golden eyes were looking down at me, dark and swirling with lust as a beautiful half-smile graced his face. I shook my head and he just chuckled. “Use your words baby, ask for what you want,” he cooed, leaning down to pepper kisses and gentle nips along the side of my neck, stopping to suck on a particular spot once my let out a gasp and wriggled beneath his large body caging me in.

“Mmphf, p-please Ko, Alpha, need you,” my cheeks were burning but I didn’t care, my whole body was on fire for the man on top of me, crying out to him for any crumb he’d give me, “need your cock-mm-need to feel so full with you please Alpha, please,” Bokuto crashed his lips back down against mine with an urgent need while he ground his hardened cock against my slick-covered core, the friction of the fabric bringing another whine from my throat.

“How can I say no to such a pretty omega begging to be knotted, hm?” Bokuto was nuzzling down into the crook oh my neck, “pretty omega, perfect omega, my omega.” I didn’t realize when he had shimmied out of his joggers but soon I felt the large tip of his cock pressing into my hole, even with two orgasms and the slight stretch from his fingers earlier it still burned so wonderfully to be full of Bokuto’s cock, every inch of his cock catching on my walls and dragging new sensations forward as I clawed at his back, wrapping my arms and legs around him in an attempt to be closer to him, to pull more of him inside of me. “Such a needy slut for her Alphas cock, hmm?” I nodded my head so vigorously, rolling my hips to coax the man above me into moving. “Poor thing, I’ll give you everything you need...” with a quick snap of his muscled hips, his thick cock was driven deep, the head pummeling against my cervix with blinding pressure as he slammed his hips over and over into me, heavy balls slapping against my slick-coated ass sending shivers up my spine. “Fuck, ‘mega, you’re so tight-fuck- so fucking perfect, so perfect for me.” Bokuto was all bared teeth and snarls above me, leaning down to kiss and bite over his earlier marks along my neck. I craned my neck, exposing more of myself to his assault as he kept up the brutal pace inside of me. It didn’t take long before I was crying out with the sudden hit of an orgasm I didn’t even feel the buildup to, the walls of my pussy were sucking a Bokuto in deeper with each of his thrusts, and soon I could feel the way his hips stuttered, sloppy and less practiced. I didn’t realize his teeth were on me, biting deep into the flesh of my neck where my scent glands were, blood spilling out of the wound and into his mouth and down my neck and chest as Bokuto marked me as his, licking one long, final strip up my neck across the wound, sealing it.

There was a final quick snap of his hips, until Bokuto’s large knot stretched me with a burn that had me whimpering, gasping when it popped through the small opening of my pussy, slick helping to coax it inside as my walls clamped down on him and his knot further in another orgasms as he emptied ropes of hot, white cum deep inside of me. The continued short, sharp thrusts Bokuto made as he continued to empty himself inside of me brought on one more orgasm, my whole body siezing and shaking, walls clamping down around the fleshy member knotted inside of me, my chest was heaving with deep breaths as my eyes edged with black and every small twitch Bokuto made inside of me had me crying out - with pleasure or pain or both - I couldn’t tell. He leant down to scoop me up, our bodies still connected as he sat down on the catch and allowed me to stradle his lap, nestling me tightly against his chest as he kissed my hair and whispered such sweet things to me over and over, petting my hair, my face, peppering kisses along my cheek, jaw, down my throat and to my shoulder, gliding over the mark he made earlier with a gentle ghost of a kiss. My whole body felt like a live-wire ready to make contact with the wrong type of metal at any given moment, but Bokuto kept rubbing small patterns over my exposed skin, kneading his fingers deep into muscles I didn’t realize were sore, kissing un-kissed inches of skin over and over until he felt me relax in his arms, felt my body droop with exhaustion as I rested my head on his shoulder, snuggling into the crook of his neck as I bit back into him, giving him a small omega mark. Bokuto shuddered beneath me, gripping me tighter as I licked up the blood and kissed over the already-healing mark, nuzzling back into him.

“Y/N~” Bokuto said in a whisper sing-song voice, shaking me gently, “I think we can separate now baby,” he said, trying to lift me off of him gently.

“Mm, no Ko,” I grumbled, a gentle growl leaving my throat, “wanna stay like this  a little longer.” Bokuto just nodded, rubbing my back and resting his head on my shoulder.

“Yeah, a little longer baby,” he mused, “but then can you bake me something?”

You just shook your head, your body shaking with held-in laughter as you agreed to bake him as many sweets as he wanted just as soon as you could walk. Bokuto offered to do all the heavy lifting if you just told him what to do - and you relished in the idea of sharing the kitchen with Bokuto - with your Alpha.

What a sweet start to something beautiful. 

[goldentsum]

— made to be together.

PAIRING: adopted father! sakusa x adopted daughter! reader; sakusa x mentioned wife (beginning)

GENRE: smut, dark content

WORD COUNT: 5.3k

SUMMARY: after trying so hard to get his wife pregnant so many times, sakusa is done and coming to the conclusion that his wife would never give him children. already fed up with trying and getting his hopes up, the two decided to adopt a child to avoid getting disappointed again. in the midst of searching for a daughter, he didn’t expect to find a sweet little thing he won’t be able to resist.

WARNING: pseudo-incest, age-gap (10+), smut, dark themes, unhealthy relationships, daddy kink, manipulative tendencies, implied miscarriages, creepy and asshole! sakusa, cheating, unprotected.sex, .dubcon, virginity loss, delusional! reader, narcissistic! sakusa, 17-18 years old! reader at the beginning but then turns 18+ when smut is happening

AUTHOR’S NOTE: MERRY CHRISTMAS HOES! tis a present from me~ first dark content fic and my first long fic after 2-3 months of hiatus! but i’m still excited! if you don’t like content like this just ignore this then. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE A MINOR OR UNCOMFORTABLE WITH DARK THEMES. if you don’t like content like this, just block the tag tw.darkcontent,, READ WITH CAUTION!

REMINDER: this is not love and i do not condone this type of behavior. be smart on the internet. if you don’t like it just click away, no need to hate. you are responsible for your time on the internet.

“shit” sakusa cursed as he sat on the bed, hands running up and down his face in stress and anger. his wife bit her lip at the sight of her husband getting angry. she called out with her small voice, trying to lighten up the mood and chirped. “w-we can try again, yoomi.. we have all the time in the world-” 

sakusa stood up, his beautiful wife’s words trailing off. he looked at her with a scowl, “and how many times more do we need to keep trying? it’s your fault, for fucks sake. always fucking it up and losing the damn child.” the glare on his dark eyes was enough to shut the timid woman up. sakusa saw how she was trying to make herself small in the large king size bed and scoffed. 

he then exited to go to the connected bathroom in their bedroom, leaving his wife with her self-destructive thoughts as she blamed herself for always stressing her husband out. it was her fault that the man was angry and sakusa makes sure she knows that. it was her fault that she can’t get pregnant. all of those time trying and money spent for vacations wasted because she can’t even do what normal women do. 

quickly wiping the pesky tears that run down her soft cheeks not wanting her husband to see it because she knows how sakusa doesn’t like it when she plays the victim. 

sakusa washed his hands on the sink, gritting his teeth in irritation. shutting the running water off and quickly wiping his hands on a clean towel he puts on the sink, he stared at his reflection. dark eyes trailed down his features. 

it wasn’t his fault. it was his wife’s. he is a capable man. he can do anything. he is not at fault here. how can he be? he’s perfect. he’s handsome. he’s rich. athletic. at his prime and can do anything his mind tells him to. 

“w-we can try other things...” sakusa heard his wife’s timid voice call out. his wife, such a delicate woman. a pathetic one too at that. 

the man rolled his eyes and moved to enter their shared room again. “what other things, misa?” 

the woman tried to smile, but her lips were too wobbly and shaky. “we can always a-adopt, right?” 

sakusa scowled at the suggestion. adopt? raise another man’s child? what kind of bullshit was that. that was the stupidest thing his wife ever came up with and that’s saying something. 

“i-i know what you’re t-thinking.. but uhm.. we can always just look around and see if you like them?” misa trailed off, her voice scared and small when sakusa only continued to stare down at her. 

“fine.” 

this is stupid and a waste of time. why is he even here? in this place filled with vermin and shitty things? oh that’s right. because of his wife, who’s stupid enough to suggest they go to an orphanage. 

dark eyes glared at the children playing on the courtyard. hate and shame filled sakusa’s being. why can’t he just have children of his own. tsk, of course the woman he chose to be with has to be utterly useless. sakusa scoffed at his thoughts and followed his wife. she was quite excited if he guessed correctly. her soft eyes observed the dirty children around them. 

“hello, welcome! welcome! come in” an old woman greeted them by the door, her smile wide and happy. the couple entered the large building much to sakusa’s dismay. 

“thank you so much for having us” sakusa heard misa said softly in front of him as he looked around the place and grunted in disgust when he saw the dusty windows. it was a good thing that he always wears a mask, other people are too inadequate to be trusted and they can’t even clean the damn place right. 

the headmistress smiled at the lovely woman in front of her then turned her gaze to the tall stoic man behind her. the two were in their separate world while the man ignored them. 

the older woman chuckled wearily making misa copy her in nervousness. the woman then toured them around the building, introducing little kids that might capture their attention but sakusa couldn’t care less. they won’t be adopting. he won’t take a little vermin into his house only for them to disturb his safe place.

sakusa grunted in boredom, making his wife’s attention snap to him. wide nervous and questioning eyes stared up at him. 

“i’m going to stay in the car.” he grumbled and walked away, leaving misa with the headmistress, not even waiting for her response. 

he left the building, the noise inside now was a muffled sound making him sigh in relief and irritation. sakusa climbed down the stairs of the porch, rolling his shoulders and groaned when his joints cracked satisfyingly. when he reached the bottom, he looked around and realized that it wasn’t where he parked his car. 

“for fuck’s sake.” cursing under his breath, he was about to go back inside when he noticed something or someone at the corner of his eye. 

he stood there in awe, looking at the most beautiful creature he has ever saw. you sat on the bench in the garden while flowers and trees accompanied you. you looked so picturesque and ethereal with your long (h/c) hair down in a braid on your shoulder and your white prim and immaculate dress. 

sakusa continued to look at you, loving the contrasting moment with you and the building where he hears the muffled noises inside. with you, it was quiet, peaceful. 

the man snapped out of it, scolding himself for ogling at a young girl. that was a new low and sakusa kiyoomi does not do low. he wasn’t the type of guy who’s creepy and fucking disgusting. he was above that. 

sakusa scowled and moved to enter the building again but then the door opened and in came into view was his wife and the headmistress. his wife stared at him in shock but quickly replaced it with a soft smile.

“yoomi... good timing, the headmistress was just going to introduce me to someone” his wife said, sliding down a hand to grasped his making him cringe in disgust but his wife was already used to that. 

the headmistress cleared her throat, seeing the awkward interaction, and smiled at the couple then to the garden where you were sitting at as you read. 

“(y/n) dear? where are you? i would like you to meet someone” the older woman called out and sakusa saw you perk up from your seat and smile at the headmistress. 

when you smiled, it felt like you just knocked the air out of his lungs and all he could think of is how to make you smile again, this time directed at him. 

you walked ever so gracefully and stopped when you were just merely a couple of feet away from him. from this distance, sakusa could smell the fresh scent of flowers that followed you. 

“dear, this is mr. and mrs. sakusa, they’re here to look for a child” the headmistress cooed at you while you smiled at her then turned to the couple, greeting them like the good girl you are. 

“hello, mr. and mrs. sakusa. i hope you’ve been successful in your search” your voice was a melodic chime, a sweet and alluring call like a siren, pulling him closer and closer. 

your big doe eyes then locked with dark ones. sakusa didn’t realize how beautiful the color (e/c) was until he saw it in your eyes. he just found his new favorite color. 

“the headmistress told me so much about you, (y/n). and i do hope it is successful as well” his wife giggled softly, looking at you. 

the older woman smiled at the couple and then turned to you, “go on, dear. go to your room” 

you raised a brow at that when you heard the line the headmistress uses when the children are about to get adopted. confused but also happy, you nodded and bid the couple goodbye. 

when you were out of sight, the headmistress then asked, “what do you think of (y/n)? she’s very smart. she’s a well-mannered girl and she helps the church” 

sakusa furrowed his brows in confusion then looked to his smiling wife who was quick to explain, “i suggested to the headmistress that it would be nicer to have an older child” 

“an older child...” 

the headmistress then cut in, seeing the tension that was rising between the couple, “an older child might be better, sir. mrs. sakusa told me that you and her have a very busy schedule” 

his wife nodded and smiled at the headmistress, “she’s perfect...” the older woman nodded as well, smiling brightly and bid them a small farewell to relay the news to you. 

“what the hell are you thinking, misa? have you gone crazy” sakusa glowered at his wife making her flinch. 

“i-... i want her yoomi! she’s perfect, isn’t she? and with o-our busy schedule, she can fit right in” misa argued, she really needed the company. 

sakusa always leaves her alone and when he does get home, all he does is belittle her. reminding her of her shortcomings as a wife, as a person... she needed someone... someone who can be her safe haven.

you sat inside the car, looking out of the window, happy that you were finally adopted. in the midst of your happy thoughts, you didn’t notice the constant shifting gaze to you by your new dad on the rear view mirror. 

misa turned to you from the passenger seat with a smile, “i’m so happy that you’re here, (y/n).” 

you smiled back at your new mom and nodded, “i’m very happy as well” 

the beautiful woman grinned at you and nodded back then sat normally again, humming a cheery tune under her breath. sakusa shifted his eyes again on the mirror to look at you. suppressing the shiver that ran down his spine when you caught him staring as you smiled at him, he ignored you and looked back to the road again. 

you let your smile fall when you saw the cold reaction the man gave you but quickly shrugged it off and looked back again to the window to watch the buildings go by. 

when you finally arrived at your new home, you gaped at the huge house. clearly, your new parents are rich. filthy rich at that. misa giggled at your expression making you snap out of your thoughts as you looked away in embarrassment at being caught while sakusa scoffed and exited the car, leaving you and misa alone. 

misa frowned at her husband but quickly smiled back at you, reassuringly, “don’t worry, (y/n)... your new daddy... he’s just a bit reserved and quiet...” 

you knew for sure that the man hated you or something. well, maybe hate is a strong word but you’re sure that he doesn’t like you. you nodded at misa with a small smile. 

“let’s go, sweetie?” misa exited the car as well making you follow her. you gaped at the sheer size of the house as some people went out of the house, greeting your new dad that ignored them and went to the car to get your things. 

you were about to help them but your mom quickly held your hand. misa smiled at you and led you inside, “it’s okay, sweetie. let’s just get you settled in, okay?” 

still a little awkward, you nodded and followed misa. your new home was stunning. it was spectacular! you knew you were lucky enough to get adopted at your age but adopted by a family that’s rich? it was amazing!

misa led you to your room as you looked at the large room in awe, admiring it. the beautiful woman giggled at you. you were like a breath of fresh air to her. it was always so silent, filled with tense atmosphere in the house but with you and your innocent energy, it was like she was in a different world now. 

“i guess you like it, sweetie?” 

you turned back to her and nodded with a huge smile, “it’s beautiful, miss. thank you”

misa pouted at your words making you think you have said something offensive, “miss? you can call me mom! i’m your mommy now after all!” her tone was youthful and happy. 

you nodded, “thank you, mommy” 

misa glowed at your words, eyes getting teary. you tried to go closer to her, worried but the beautiful woman only smiled at you and held the door, “i’ll let you settle in, sweetie. call me if you need something, okay? kiyoomi’s and my room is just around the corner” and then she shut the door. 

you smiled at the door, remembering your new mom. she must’ve been lonely. her eyes showed so much emotions. 

the couple was very busy, now you know why they didn’t adopt a younger child. also your mom was an absolute sweetheart. she was busy with her job but she always tried to make time for you. you two always bonded when she gets home. even though you can see that she was very tired, she always talked to you before going to bed. 

your mom was lonely. your daddy wasn’t home at all. you barely even see him and when you do see him, he never really acknowledges you. like that one time you greeted him on the way to the kitchen. 

you were going down the stairs and saw your daddy going up, to clean up you guessed. you smiled at him when he noticed you and chirped happily at him, “good morning, daddy!” 

the only response you got was a sharp inhale and then he was out of sight. you frowned at his cold response but you didn’t mind. your mommy said that it was quite normal and it takes time for your daddy to warm up to someone. 

but it has already been years since then and the only real conversation you had with him was when you asked if he could drive you to school because your usual driver was sick. 

you tried everything to make him like you. it was weird. you didn’t know why you want to be closer to him. you want him to look at you. his dark eyes locked with yours. you want to feel him. and it was making you feel sick with how desperate you are for the older man. it wasn’t right but you just couldn’t help it. the way he looked at you made you felt needed.

for the past years, sakusa was being tortured by his own mind. the sound of your voice follows him wherever he goes. your scent stuck on his skin when you hug him goodbye. your presence was like a ghost, haunting him. taunting him. 

he’s really trying to keep these feelings at bay but as years go by, you are starting to grow into a fine young woman. more curves appearing in your body, an alluring slope as your hips grew that sakusa desperately wanted to grip. thick thighs that was usually covered by thigh highs. lips so plump and red. 

everything about you was so perfect that it made sakusa want you more than ever. he wants you to want him too. he wants you to depend on him. call him with that soft teasing voice as you cry out the fucking name that makes him tick every time, “daddy~” 

sakusa groaned at his thoughts and held his head in his hands as he sat on the bed. you two were alone in this huge ass house. misa was out for a week because of her job and the thought of being alone with you makes him jumpy and his emotions in a messy whirlpool of madness. 

thoughts of how he can just fuck you right now makes his cock twitch in his sweats. 

he sighed in irritation, trying to think of something else because if he keeps this up he’ll only make himself horny and bothered and that doesn’t sound very enjoyable. 

a knock caught his attention. he looked at the door with a frown and answered, “who is it?” 

“it’s me, daddy” 

for fuck’s sake. why can’t you just leave him alone? if you keep this up, sakusa won’t be able to keep his emotions at bay and might do something that’s frowned upon by society. 

“what is it” 

the door opened and you stood by the door, your glossed red lips curled into a shy smile. sakusa’s dark eyes trailed down to your body, you’re just so beautiful he can’t help himself. a thin singlet and short shorts hugged your gorgeous figure.

you are a goddess incarnate in his eyes. so immaculate. you were calling out to him like the snake in the garden of eden, tempting him to just bite the forbidden fruit already.

“-dy? daddy? are you okay?” sakusa’s eyes snapped back to your face. you looked worried. he sighed tiredly and nodded.

“do you need something?” 

you bit your lips in nervousness, his eyes watching the action. you hugged your figure, not knowing how to say what you had in mind. 

“u-uhm... i just thought that maybe we can eat together...--” you trailed off, looking at him, anticipating his reaction. 

the man made you nervous that was a fact but you would be lying if you said he wasn’t attractive. and that small little fact made you guilty and confused about why you felt like that for him. he was your dad for fuck’s sakes! yes, not really biologically but still your ‘dad’

you were ashamed that you thought of him that way. you can’t even consider him as your father. and every time you call him “daddy” it makes you shy. staring at him, you bite your lip as you wait for his response. 

sakusa grunted and nodded, standing up as he walked towards you. the unwavering gaze he had upon you made a shiver run down your spine. you looked up at him through your lashes, fluttering those pretty eyes up at him. 

that was the final straw! sakusa can’t keep this up! he has to have you and what better time to have you than now. you two were alone and you look so fuckable as always.

he gluped when he stopped right in front of you, so close. you two were just a breath away. your eyes drifted to his lips for a moment but quickly returned to his eyes, feeling the shame rise inside you when you realized what you did.

the older man wanted to coo at you when he saw the embarrassment that crossed your face. he wanted to tell you that it was okay. you can need him. you can want him all you want. hell, he preferred it. now that he saw the small action, he can’t help himself now. he can’t pass this opportunity.

“what’s wrong, sweetie?” he whispered, you shivered when you felt his minty and warm breath hit your lips. you stuttered at the nickname and guilt rise in you as you heard the same name your mommy calls you. 

“n-nothing, daddy...”

“you can tell me, (y/n). it’ll be just between us, don’t worry. i won’t tell a soul” the low seductive voice of your daddy made you clenched at nothing as heat spread across your cheeks. 

“i-.. i uhm..” you continued to stutter. sakusa hummed in amusement at your obvious awkwardness, a small smirk growing in his pink lips.

“do you want daddy?” he whispered, leaning closer to you as your noses touched and your lips barely grazed each other but it was enough to get you excited. sakusa could feel your breath hitching as he does so. 

your eyes turned half-lidded and you pouted in embarrassment, lips curled in such an alluring way. 

“c-can i have daddy?” 

sakusa’s heart started beating rapidly inside his ribcage, this was so new for him. he never felt like this before, not even with his wife. you have such an effect on him, it was scary. 

“you can have daddy anytime, sweetheart” he grunted, tongue swiping against his bottom lip to wet it as he watched you lean closer, slowly standing on your tippy toes.

sakusa groaned at your slow movements and quickly leaned closer, kissing you with ferocity. his large hands gripped your hips, maneuvering you inside the bedroom as he slammed you against the wooden door. you gasped at the pain but it quickly faded into pleasure. 

he groaned into your lips, taking advantage of your open mouth to slither in his tongue into your mouth. you moaned when he started licking and playing with your wet muscle. you unconsciously grinded against him, searching for friction. sakusa moaned into the messy kiss when your clothed heat grazed against his hard cock. 

his hands drifted down to your thighs, squeezing and kneading it. the heat of his palms was so distinct. he then gripped your thighs, carrying you up. you squealed at the sudden movement and quickly wrapped your arms and legs around him. in that new position, your clothed pussy was directly against his member. 

you gasped at the feeling of sakusa’s dick twitching against you. the male groaned and started kissing down your neck, your arms tightening around his neck. the overwhelming feeling of his lips trailing hot wet kisses against your sensitive neck and his constant grinding of his cock against you was too much. 

your moans spilling out your pretty red lips as you tried to match your daddy’s grinding. sakusa’s breath heavy against you, it was all too much for him. you were finally in his arms, moaning like the pretty slut that you are. sakusa could feel your wetness sipping through the thin cloth of your shorts. 

he removed you from the door and carried you to the bed as his body covered yours. leaning against one of his arm while one hand groped your chest, his large hand slowly slithered down and in your singlet and caressed your stomach, savoring every skin until he reached your bra. 

he continued to litter your pretty and sensitive neck with his marks, humming in satisfaction when he sees your neck covered with bite marks. you whined when his hips stopped moving against you for a moment. sakusa leaned back a bit to look at you. his breath hitched when he saw you. you were such a sight to see. 

your eyes heavy and dark with lust, chest heaving with every pant. your singlet was raised up to expose your smooth stomach. your lips were red and a little swollen as your red gloss was smeared across your chin and lips. 

“you’re such a sight, sweetheart,” sakusa praised, making you whine as your hips bucked

“my pretty baby” he muttered then he captured your lips again, biting your bottom lip and quickly soothed it with his tongue. 

“d-daddy, i need you...” you whimpered through the kiss, your words muffled with sakusa’s lips against yours. 

“don’t worry your pretty little head... daddy will take care of you” 

his hand then trailed down, leaving your boobs. he tipped down to your shorts and in your panties, grazing your mound as you gasped against his lips. 

“so wet... is that all for daddy?” 

you cried out at the unfamiliar feeling when sakusa massaged your clit. the older man’s hissed at the wetness, his self-control slowly threatening to snap. 

“have you touched yourself before, princess?” 

your eyes widened at his question but shook your head no, embarrassed by it. your hands gripped sakusa’s shoulder when he started massaging your clit faster, gasping at the pleasure coursing through you. 

“you’re so cute, (y/n)” he muttered, watching your virgin body already shaking at such light actions. 

sakusa’s hand left your shorts making you whine at the loss of pleasure but was quickly followed by a welp when the man removed your shorts, your body getting tugged along at his aggressive action. 

you lowered your gaze and clenched your thighs together, trying to hide from your daddy’s intense gaze. sakusa clicked his tongue and gripped your thigh, “let daddy see you, pretty girl” 

you slowly let your legs open, your embarrassment worsening when you felt the air nipping at your skin. sakusa admired your wet pussy out in display just for him. his fingers touched your wetness ever so slightly but even that makes you gasp. 

“so beautiful...” you heard your daddy whisper making your heart full that he finds you attractive. sakusa wet his fingers with your arousal, caressing the clenching hole but never really prodding inside. 

you watched sakusa between your legs, biting your lips when you saw the prominent tent on his grey sweats. you let your head hit back against the pillows, trying to control your breathing as your nervousness slowly got to you. 

“that’s good, baby. relax for daddy. my pretty girl is so smart” 

sakusa groaned when he finally sunk one finger inside you as he watched you whimper while your hips buckled against him. “so wet and tight...” 

he watched you get lost at the feeling of his finger pumping in and out of you. his gaze then went back to your cunt and his finger, seeing the thin string on his finger that connected him and your pussy. sakusa groaned and leaned down, capturing your neglected clit in his mouth. 

you cried at that, looking down at sakusa. your eyes locked as he fingered you and his tongue flicking against your clit. you moaned, your eyes rolling back into your skull as you threw your head back when he hit the spongy spot inside of you. he hummed in satisfaction making you shiver at the vibration as he added another finger. 

the older male watched your body writhe because of his ministration, finding it so alluring and seductive when you arched your back so prettily when he kept hitting your g-spot. he sucked on your clit, his tongue massaging it. the rising of pleasure was too much for you and the feeling of something threatening to snap in your stomach made you teary. you cried, hips moving frantically chasing the pleasure given to you. the clenching of your pussy against sakusa’s fingers was the sign that you were close. so deliciously close. his movements quickened at that, wanting you to cum for him. the sound of your wetness was embarrassingly loud and sakusa’s constant smacking as he ate you out messily was getting you closer than you want to admit. 

the unfamiliar feeling of the intense pleasure made you close your eyes, loud moans escaping you. the constant flicking of his tongue finally pushing you to the edge as you cum. loud whimpers and whines escaped you as sakusa rode your orgasm for you, moaning against you when he felt your cum sticking to his fingers, trailing down to your ass. 

he released your sensitive clit, swiping a last lick on to it, and his fingers moved away from you, the wetness made his fingers glossy. you panted on the bed, the sensitivity of coming for the first time still in your system. sakusa smiled down at you and kissed you. you whined when his hard cock nudged your sensitive pussy. 

“will you let daddy fuck you, princess?” 

you moaned softly at his dirty words and nodded tiredly, opening your legs like the good girl you are. sakusa’s eyes turned dark and removed his hard cock out of his sweats. you gaped at the size and closed your eyes with a hiss when he grinded against your still sensitive cunt. you looked up at him with a pout and grasped his tight t-shirt. 

“w-wanna see daddy too” you muttered with a pout, tugging at his clothes. sakusa smirked and nodded, removing every piece of cloth in his body until he was nude. your eyes trailed up and down his body, trying to memorize every feature. hands going to his body, caressing his skin. 

“you’re p-pretty too, daddy” you whispered shyly, smiling at him. sakusa didn’t reply but only moved closer to you, letting his nose graze your cheek, nuzzling into you. you giggled softly at his affection. you guessed that this was his way of showing his love.

“ready for me, baby?” he asked as you nod, grasping unto his shoulders. sakusa lined his hard cock against your wet cunt, slowly nudging forward. he hissed at the feeling of your tight and wet pussy clenching around him. 

you felt divine. so good. so wet and warm. and you’re all his. 

you gasped at the feeling, it was so much larger than his fingers but the stretch was addicting enough. you moaned when your daddy kept going in. you panted, tongue lolling out when he finally bottomed out. you felt so full. 

sakusa grabbed your hips, moaning beside your ear. he waited for you to adjust to the feeling of his cock and when you grinded back, he knew you were ready. 

he started slowly, savoring the feeling of your walls dragging against his thick cock, your wetness sticking on him. sakusa then groaned when the pleasure started getting intense, chasing the high of it. 

your nails made crescent marks on his skin, moaning loudly at the feeling of the constant pumping of his large cock inside of you. the tip of his cock nudging your cervix, so deep inside of you. 

you choked on a moan when he hit your g-spot again, the sensitivity was making you tear up whilst sakusa leaned back, watching your body tremble at his mercy. he watched your pussy suck him back in every time, your cum decorating his cock with strings. 

he fucks you with intent, loving the way your boobs bounce to the way he fucks you hard. your pretty mouth open, letting strings of loud moans out, whilst a thin line of drool escaped to your chin. eyes almost getting crossed eye with how good he’s fucking you. 

“you like that, baby? you like the way daddy fucks you dumb?” you could only cry out, incoherent mutters and cries was the only thing sakusa heard from you. 

the man groaned when he felt his release coming way sooner than he expected. the way you were clenching around him was almost enough to send him over but he doesn’t wanna cum before you cum again. 

sneaking his hand on your pussy, he started rubbing your clit with rough circles. you sobbed at the intensity. your legs shaking around sakusa’s hips as he grinded against you harder. 

“fuck, you’re g-gonna make me cum...” he cursed, his rhythm getting sloppier as he chased his high. 

your moans gotten louder at that as sakusa smirked when he felt your pussy clenching around his cock, “you like that? you want daddy’s cum inside you?

fucked out from your daddy’s thrusts, you could only arch so beautifully for him. your position making it easier for sakusa to hit deeper inside you.

“cum for me, princess. cum for daddy” sakusa groaned, hand frantically rubbing your clit pushing you to another orgasm. you sobbed when you felt your second orgasm rushing into your system, eyes rolling back to your head while your pussy milked sakusa’s cock, making him paint your insides with thick ropes of white. your body jerking violently against his at the feeling of the intense climax.

the man growled and it trailed into harsh moans, his hips rolling against you as he rode yours and his climax. 

the room was filled with harsh and loud pants as you two climbed down from your highs. you gulped, throat dry and sore from all the screaming you did. your thighs trembled around sakusa’s hips. he slowly let your legs down and lay down beside you, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you closer to him. his strong chest against your slender back.

you moaned when you felt the soreness kicking in but cuddled back to him, touching and caressing his arm that was thrown over you. you hummed, satisfied, when you felt his cum dribbled out of you. it was his love inside of you.

sakusa’s heart was full. you were finally his. finally in his arms and he’ll be a fool to let you go. he’ll get rid of the older hag after this, he has no need for her anymore now that you were beside him..

he won’t share you with anyone. you are his. only his. and anyone who gets between you two will suffer the consequences. sakusa guarantees it. his dark eyes trailed down to your body, admiring your bruised skin. 

“are you okay, sweetheart?” you heard him asked quietly behind you. you smiled and nodded, leaning your head back. 

“i am...” 

sakusa hummed, sleepiness coming over him. his hand touching your stomach where his cock was bulging out earlier.

“w-will daddy be here with me when i wake up?” 

“i’ll always be with you, princess. i love you... now sleep” 

you bit down a huge grin on your lips, listening to sakusa’s breaths that started to get even signaling that he has fallen asleep. your daddy loves you. no one ever said that. no one ever treated you like him. it was a nice change from all the times you were alone in the orphanage. 

the moment felt warm and gentle like it was a moment shared by a couple who loves each other deeply. you hummed a soft sleepy tune, your hand caressing his arm to his hand. 

your warm and soft moment came crashing down when your hand touched a cold metal on his finger. your (e/c) eyes trailed down and stared down at the ring that was glistening as the light hit it, heart thumping in shame and guilt when reality hit you like a wave. 

that’s right. he’s married and he’s your “daddy”. 

[its-monster-mash]

Paul(The Lost Boys) X Michael’s Ex!Fem!Reader Imagine(Part 1)

Content Warnings: Vaguely Love-Triangley? (Reader and Michael are still good friends and broke up a while before Mike moved, but things are a little awkward because they were each other’s first serious relationship; so he’s more protective than he needs to be, and there might be a few hurt feelings, but I wouldn’t quite call it a love triangle), Brief Sexual Harassment

Part 2

This turned out SUPER long so I’m putting it under a readmore; also I think I’m going to make it a series because I want to go a lot further with this but I suspect I’m going to run out of space soon

• Michael Emerson had been your best friend since you were kids, growing up in Phoenix only a ten minute walk from eachother...if you knew the right shortcuts. You knew all of them, thought you knew everything when you were younger, and you got yourself and Mike into a fair amount of trouble because of it...but he had always been a good kid, and was able to temper your more destructive elements.

• It surprised exactly no one when the two of you eventually started dating, nor did it surprise them when you broke up a few years later. You had always been inseparable, and the love had always been there, but over time you just couldn’t help but feel stifled. You had spent your entire teen years with him, and so many people liked to joke that Mike tamed you...at the rate you were going it seemed like sundresses, picket fences, and a couple of kids weren’t far off in your future...and that scared you.

• Mike was heartbroken when you left him, and for the first few weeks he absolutely held it against you, but due to your shared friends and history your friendship survived. Unfortunately, his parents’ divorce separated your iconic duo once again.

• When Mike’s dad showed up on your doorstep a few days after the move, you tore him a new one for basically abandoning his sons. He set a box on your porch, Mike’s Tools...his Grandpa gave them to him when he was just a little kid and they were one of his most treasured possessions...they were forgotten in the chaos of the move...His dad thought you might visit him sometime...

• That’s what led to you hopping in your shitass El Camino and making the drive to Santa Carla. Lucy had given you their new address before they left...you knew she hoped that maybe you and Mike would get back together some day, but that just wasn’t in the cards. At the end of the day he was just too good, too normal, for you.

• Driving through Santa Carla, you can’t help but be drawn to the sheer...strangeness of it all. Looking at the people, you feel like you actually fit in here. You definitely plan on hanging around the town for a while.

• Mike isn’t home when you get to his Grandpa’s house, but his mom could not be happier to see you. It’s a bittersweet reunion for you; she had been more of a mother to you growing up than your own parents, but after breaking her son’s heart you just don’t feel like it‘s right for you to call her “Mom” like you used to. She has a million questions, and she even suggests you stay with them for a while...you politely decline.

• You didn’t tell her that sleeping in your beat-up old car was preferable to her hospitality, but it would just be too weird, with how recent your breakup was. You and Mike are still friends, but you think sleeping under the same roof might be weird for him

• You still want to see him though, so you decide to explore the town on foot for a while; maybe run into him. You’re wandering around when you hear a familiar voice coming from the open door of a comic book store.

• As soon as you walk in you see the unmistakably garish patterns of Sammy Emerson’s signature style and break into a wide smile. “Long time no see, huh kid?” Almost the second he sees you he practically knocks you over with a hug, backing away in embarrassment after a second of thought. You and Mike were already best friends by the time he was born, so Sam was almost as much your little brother as he is Mike’s.

• “Now What was that about Vampires?” You had overheard Sam and the Frog brothers when you walked into the store...Sam rolls his eyes, and the Frogs assail you with some insane story about how the town is overrun with vampires. Some imaginations these kids have.

• You bail out of there pretty quick in favor of wandering the boardwalk, seeing what Santa Carla had to offer...before you know it, the sun is starting to set

• Maybe going out alone in “The Murder Capital of The World” wasn’t your smartest decision, but you weren’t exactly known for your self preservation; that had always been Mike’s job...but he isn’t here now.

• You grimace as you notice a group of surfers take notice of you. You had wandered a bit aways from the main crowd, so you aren’t sure anyone would notice if things went south... “Hey Sweetie.”

• “Get Bent.” You sneer as they close in on you. “Awe well that’s not very polite,” the leader says, giving your ass a firm squeeze. “You should try being a little nicer.”

• You humor him with the sweetest smile you can muster as you stomp as hard as you can on his foot. He calls you a bitch and you flinch as his fist flies toward you.

• You open your eyes when the hit never comes, and are shocked to see that someone had caught the guy’s fist. You look up at him and your cheeks flush; when was the last time you saw a guy this handsome? “This guy bothering you, babe?” He asks as he squeezes the guy’s fist so tight you hear something pop. The guy falls to his knees and gasps in pain as his friends back away nervously. You smile wickedly. “Not anymore.”

• You watch the douchbags storm away with their wounded pride, shouting empty threats, only distracted when your Knight in Shining Tight-Pants tucks your hair affectionately behind your ear. “So what’s a pretty thing like you doing alone in a town like this?”

• You bite your lip, eyeing him appreciatively; now that you could get a good look at him you can tell he is definitely your type...and you hadn’t been with anyone since you broke things off with Michael. “Hoping to run into an old friend, but I haven’t seen him.”

• He grins, clearly appreciating your look. “That’s too bad, wanna make some new friends?” His eyes are fixed on you with a certain hunger, there’s a palpable danger to him; it excites you.

• You shift your stance flirtatiously, leaning into him ever so slightly. “That depends, are they all as cute as you?” He pokes his tongue into his cheek with an amused grin. “Almost.”

• He takes your mischievous smirk as agreement, and throws an arm around you, leading you back to where his friends are gathered by their bikes. “This the chick you ditched us for?” The curly-headed blond asks, humor in his tone.

• “Well I for one am grateful for the timely rescue.” You grin. “How grateful?” The blond on the bike asks, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively; making you laugh. Your hero slaps at him playfully, and the favor is returned.

• Seemingly the leader of the group, the spiky-headed blond interrupts the roughhousing. “Paul, Marko, knock it off and let’s go.”

• Paul nods, climbing onto his bike and grinning at you seductively. “You wanna go for a ride, babe?”

• His smile is infectious, and his innuendo isn’t lost on you. Maybe it’s not your safest decision, but you climb on the back of his bike; earning a loud “HELL YES.” From him, and hooting and hollering from Marko.

• “Make sure you hold on tight babe, I’m about to take you on a ride you’ll never forget.” “Shut up and drive,” you tease as you wrap your arms tightly around his midsection.

• They all laugh deviously as they rev their motors to life, and you’re glad you’re holding on tight, nearly falling off when they take off from 0 to 100. “HOLY SHIT!” “What’s the matter sweetheart, can’t handle a little speed?”

• “That all you got?!” You ask, acting tough. It was a mistake though. “That all you got, Paul?” Marko asks, mocking you. “I dunno girl, I think that’s all he’s got.” The big brunette says, first time he’s spoken since you met the boys. “Fuck off, Dwayne!” Paul shouts. The leader gives his engine a rev, egging Paul on. You scream, forced to cling tightly to his back as his bike tears into the night. Marko pulls up next to you, mimicking you with a falsetto squeal.

• “Damn babe, already screaming for me,” Paul teases over the roar of his motor. You’d sass him back if you weren’t too busy burying your face in his back for dear life. You’d ridden on the back of Mike’s bike plenty of times before, but he was never this reckless. You’re as terrified as you are thrilled.

• By the time you start to get used to the speed, the boys are slowing down, and much to your surprise, they pull right up to Michael, who is standing with a girl you haven’t met. His eyes snap to you instantly and go wide with confusion, he hadn’t even been aware you’d come to town. “(Y/N)?”

• “This that friend you were looking for?” Paul asks. “Yeah, (Y/N), care to introduce us to Star’s new friend?” “David please.” You watch the exchange a bit uncomfortably, shifting on the bike, arms still around Paul. “Yeah...Hey Mike, I uh, your old man dropped your tools off at my place so I took them up to your mom.” Your chest feels impossibly tight. You aren’t jealous to see him with a new girl, but you had hoped that maybe he’d be a little happier to see you here...and him, the earring and that jacket...it doesn’t feel like Mike at all. Paul can feel you shrink against him.

• “Hope I’m not stepping on any toes here,” Paul says, giving your thigh an unsubtle squeeze; deliberately antagonizing Michael. You smile a bit awkwardly as Mike scratches the back of his head in discomfort. Star looks between the two of you, avoiding eye contact with David. “No, Mike and I used to date but...” “But it’s over,” Mike says, a bit too shortly, trying to cover the awkwardness with an unconvincing smile.

• David shoots him a not-all together-friendly look. “Well, you seem to be moving on well enough,” he says, gesturing to Star, who shrinks beside him. “So’s (Y/N),” Paul interjects, looking over his shoulder to smile at you. You smile back at him, despite the awkwardness.

• “We should go, Star,” David urges. Star hesitates, but climbs on the back of his bike. Michael looks mortified, and you can’t help but feel awful for him. You’re shocked when David nods his head toward Mike’s bike. “Come with us, Michael.”

• You know the look on Mike’s face; his first instinct is to back out, avoid trouble...but then he looks at you, and he looks at Star; like he’s worried what will happen to you if he doesn’t come along. “Mike,” You don’t have to come, you start to say, feeling Paul tense in your arms. “I’m coming.”

• “This is gonna be so sick,” Marko says with a practically manic grin, before Dwayne swats him upside the head. “Don’t be an ass.”

• “Don’t forget, (Y/N), hold on tight,” Paul says, side eyeing Michael a little less than subtly. Mike rolls his eyes and you shrug apologetically. This is awkward, for sure, but one way or another you want to see this through. Paul and the boys seem cool as hell, and at the very least seem like a good way to get back on the horse after getting over a long relationship.

• You squeeze Paul a little tighter, heart pounding against his back. He revs his engine. “You ready, babe?”

[youwerenevermeanttofeelalone]

Know Better | Sasuke Uchiha

✦ pairing — Sasuke Uchiha x Plus Size Reader

✦ word count — 7.7k

✦ Fake Dating & Modern AU

✦ request — I saw you write for Sasuke. I wanted to know if you can write something where he isn’t happy dating Sakura so he breaks up with her and recruits ps reader to fake date so Sakura doesn’t bother him anymore and reader wants to get rid of Shikamaru so she says yes and they fall in love while faking? something smutty at the end maybe? You can make it modern if you want

✦ warnings — light jealousy, mentions of food and alcohol, drama, nsfw, smut, vaginal fingering, vaginal sex, unprotected sex (please don’t do this), fluff.

✦ a/n — is it too obvious that it was raining when I wrote this?

════════════════════════

A sudden thunder startled you, prompting you to look at the clock. It was almost time for you to leave the coffee shop. Hoping you could get home before the rainstorm hit, you hurried up.

You had to swallow a groan when you heard the front door open. You hated that damn bell. Lifting your head to take the order, you were greeted by a huff.

“I thought you would be on your way out already,” Sasuke stated blandly.

“My shift is over in ten minutes.” You made a pause, waiting for him to speak. When he only stared back, you asked, “Are you going to order?”

He shook his head. “I’ll wait for you outside.”

Not having a single clue as to why he would wait for you, and honestly not caring too much about it, you went on with the clean-up.

Sasuke and you were as close friends as two busy people could be. You didn’t share many classes, and he spent most of his free time with Sakura. Your free time was different than his, working and studying at the same left you with a small window of opportunities to enjoy yourself.

There was also the fact that busy or not, you avoided parties like the plague.

Sasuke was still outside when you were finally done, waiting for you with his arms crossed.

Upon seeing you, he made a gesture with his head for you to walk with him. Looking up at the sky, you shrugged, you wouldn’t make it home dry either way.

“So...” you trailed off, uncomfortable by his silence. You were used to it, yet there was something off-putting in his pace.

He halted his steps, taking his keys out. Unlocking the car, Sasuke opened the passenger door. “Get in.”

You wouldn’t say no to keeping yourself from getting soaked by the coming rain. Sliding your backpack off your shoulders, you got into the car, fitting the bag between your knees.

“Dinner?”

Putting the seatbelt on, you tilted your head to read his expression. You found a neutral one, which you should have expected. “Uh... sure.”

Humming, he ignited the engine.

Gripping the handle, you breathed in and out a couple of times, thinking he would be a reckless driver.

Sasuke wasn’t a careful driver by any means, he just wasn’t as extreme as one would imagine. Still, you were relieved when it was over.

He chose the table farther away from the other people at the diner, side-eyeing you to make sure. So unlike him.

“Is there a particular reason why we’re hanging out on a Friday night?”

He rested his back against the back of the chair. “Can’t I hang out with a friend because I’m nice?”

“... no?”

“I need your help,” he admitted through his teeth.

You took a sip of your beverage. “What’s up?”

“I need you to be my girlfriend.” Seeing your weirded out expression, Sasuke clarified, “Fake girlfriend.”

“People don’t need partners, and you have a girlfriend already.”

“Not since a couple of weeks ago.”

For someone who had just broken up with their high school sweetheart, he was way too calm.

He added, “I told her I liked you.”

“Why the hell would you say that?”

He shrugged. “It was the first thing that came to mind, but she keeps saying we can make it work.”

Now Sakura’s attitude towards you was starting to make sense. You had never been friends, but you considered her an acquaintance — she often visited Hinata, and the past weeks hadn’t been the exception.

However, she had stopped greeting you and when you passed the living room on your way to your bedroom she would glare at you. It was hard to blame her when her now ex-boyfriend had been such an asshole.

“Well, tell her I rejected you or something.”

“I’m sure Shikamaru would love to hear that.”

You tensed at Shikamaru’s mention.

Everyone said you should’ve been flattered, and you were at first. He was sweet and attentive, so interested in you that he had told you to take as much time as you needed. In your head, falling for him wouldn’t be too hard if you got to know him.

But he misread your intentions, and after the first date, he got overbearing.

Hinata found it extremely romantic, and Ino bluntly told you to be realistic because finding a guy as nice as him would be hard later on.

What bothered you the most was the tone in which your friends spoke as if this was your only chance to find someone who would like you. Their intentions might have been pure, but the implications behind their comments hurt.

Clearing your throat, you licked your bottom lip. “For how long?”

“Until they get the hint.”

Entering a relationship out of nowhere sounder more like a slap on the face than a hint. Sasuke had never been subtle, though.

The rain had intensified by the time you came out of the restaurant.

Sasuke drove more carefully this time, frustrated to no end due to the traffic but more carefully.

The moment he parked, he stopped you from getting out of the car, holding your forearm. “Invite me in.”

“Why?”

“It’s raining and you don’t want me to get in an accident.”

“Who said that?”

He glared at you. Glaring back, you waited for a good explanation which he didn’t seem to have. He was just being petty, nothing new.

Defeated, you let out a sigh. “Hurry up, then.”

He bolted out of the car, grimacing as the water fell onto him. You walked past him, greeting the security guard of the building as you brushed water off your eyes.

Sasuke was beside you in seconds to eventually follow you into the elevator.

“Give me that.” He took your backpack off your grasp before you could swing it over your shoulder.

Protesting would have been a waste of time. You were tired.

Struggling to take your keys out of your jean pocket, inwardly chastising yourself for still giving those tiny things use, you found yourself hoping he wouldn’t mock you.

He didn’t. He stood still, silently, only shifting when the doors opened and one of your neighbors entered the elevator.

Finally, after two more stops, you arrived at your floor. You didn’t mind how tall the building was, nor the fact that Hinata had chosen the second to highest floor — the only thing you found bothersome were the constant stops at the elevator; the stairs were a nightmare too, and your shoes were wet.

Sliding the key in, you felt his hand on your back, encouraging you to open the door. He must have known Sakura was there. It was kind of fucked up, honestly.

“You had me worr—“ Hinata cut herself off, blinking rapidly to hide her shock.

Trying your hardest to avoid looking at Sakura, you focused on Hinata’s worried face. “Sorry, I should’ve told you I would be late.”

He greeted Hinata and Sakura with a nod, sliding the hand on your back up to your shoulder only to place his free one on your other shoulder too, hoping you would get the hint.

You felt his touch get lighter as you made your way toward your bedroom until you let him get in first and he got his hands off you.

Sasuke put your backpack down, resting it against the foot of the bed. You closed the door, watching him curiously look around.

He had never been there. You hadn’t started living with Hinata until a couple of months ago when she told you she was looking for a roommate.

Sasuke had visited your family’s home dozens of times, mostly in middle school and the first year of high school, back when he was more abrasive. Your mom often said he found refugee in your room because you never forced him to speak.

But your mom had been wrong many times. Unconsciously, you shook your head. You were only upsetting your own self thinking about times that would never come back. She had left years ago.

The voices in the living room mingled with the sounds of the rain, you caught bits and pieces of the conversation. Your name was mentioned once, but you didn’t get the context. Not that you needed it.

Your opinions of Sakura weren’t strong, you didn’t dislike her at all but that wasn’t saying much when you didn’t really know her. From what you had heard, which varied depending on who was talking, she wasn’t so bad.

She probably hated you now so caring would be stressing yourself over things you couldn’t fix.

“Why didn’t you choose someone else? Many people would happily do it.”

“They would be annoying.”

Wow. That was almost a compliment.

To be fair, he seemed to attract overbearing people who didn’t get no for an answer.

And now you would also have to put up with those people. Or maybe not, he was way more popular around campus than you were and this wasn’t high school anymore.

He yawned, squeezing his eyes shut to then immediately open them and blink rapidly.

“You can lay down if you’re tired,” you assured him.

“I don’t like cuddling.”

“I didn’t ask you to cuddle me nor intended to cuddle you.”

“Ah.” He rubbed the back of his head, avoiding to look at your face. “The rain is slowing down either way.”

It sounded like it was. Urging him to go before the rain got worse would surely be rude, then again, he didn’t seem to take offense over most things.

You didn’t have to tell him. He pushed himself up, staring at you. You only stared back, assuming he would say something.

He dropped his hand onto the doorknob, twisting it and pulling the door open. You followed him toward the front door, somewhat confused.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said lowly, still audible to Hinata and Sakura.

You nodded. “Be safe, yeah?”

Humming, he got closer to you. “I’ll text you when I get home.”

Breathily, aware of his body heat as it felt like it was burning your skin, you told him, “Please.”

Sasuke placed his lips on yours, giving you a short kiss — so short you weren’t able to kiss his soft lips back.

He left without saying goodbye to Hinata and Sakura. The gesture, or lack thereof, made you more uncomfortable than it should have.

Sakura’s eyes, full of hurt and resentment, weren’t what made you feel bad — Hinata’s disappointed face did.

════════════════════════

Going out to the movies with friends was better as a mere concept than in practice. Hinata said it would be fun, that they had waited for you to be free to finally see that movie.

You weren’t close to most of the group, they were all nice in their own way, you supposed, but the truth was you had never clicked with anyone but Hinata and Ino.

Hinata came to a halt in front of Naruto and Shikamaru, arm linked with yours as she smiled at her boyfriend and friend. You greeted them too, trying to take your arm off Hinata’s grasp.

“We can have a double date now,” Naruto said teasingly.

“We wouldn’t want Shikamaru to feel like a third wheel.”

As usual, after one of your remarks, Naruto pouted at you while Shikamaru let out a loud sigh. You almost felt bad because this time the quip was true.

An arm wrapped around your upper back, tugging you to the other side. Hinata finally let your arm go.

“Sorry I’m late,” Sasuke apologized, lips brushing your temple as he explained to you that Itachi had made him lose time.

As he left a kiss on your temple, you angled your head to take a look at him. The corners of his mouth twitched upward for a millisecond.

Naruto, being Naruto, couldn’t stop himself from loudly asking, “Am I missing something?”

“It’s pretty obvious,” Sasuke deadpanned, “so no, you are not.”

You didn’t look at any of your companions. Hinata hadn’t said anything to you the night before after Sakura left, and while you were getting ready she avoided the topic purposefully.

Feeling smaller than you were, you leaned onto Sasuke before thinking what you were doing. His arm draped over your shoulder as he slid his forearm up to the back of your neck, bringing you slightly closer.

Silence lingered between the group.

“Should we buy the tickets and wait for the others there?” Hinata tried to ease the tension.

Her attempts were in vain. Naruto failed to hide his shock when Sasuke said the two of you would buy the snacks. And no one would ever think he was at fault when the last time Sasuke had been openly attentive had been when he took Kiba to the hospital after breaking his nose with a football.

With Sasuke at your left and Shikamaru at your right, you found yourself wishing the film was over already. It hadn’t even started yet.

“Oh.”

You didn’t have to turn to the side to know the one who had shrieked was Sakura who was accompanied by Ino. One of them stepped on your foot, prompting Sakura to feign an apologetic tone when you let a sound close to a whine escape as she sat down sandwiched between Shikamaru and Ino.

Sasuke placed his hand on your knee. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” You held the straw between your fingers, leaning to take a sip, drinking slowly.

He didn’t take his eyes off you until the movie started, not even to eat. Part of you assumed he was looking at Shikamaru or Sakura and not at you.

You felt him inch his hand up to your thigh. With his free hand, he removed the popcorn from his lap and placed it on the floor.

He moved the drink you were sharing to the cup holder to his left. Taking the hint, you lifted the armrest separating you.

Withdrawing his hand to swing his arm over you as you barely rested your head on him, he gazed down at you. Taking your attention back to the screen, hoping you hadn’t missed anything important, you allowed him to push your head onto his chest.

He smelled good, fresh and clean with something new there. He must’ve had been wearing a different cologne.

If you knew something about Sasuke was that he liked consistency. He wasn’t one for experimenting once he liked something — his haircut hadn’t changed since he was thirteen, his clothing style —which seemed to be inspired by his brother’s— had been the same since the beginning of high school, and he had only dated one person even though thousands swarmed around him.

“I’m bored,” he whispered.

Shifting to speak closer to his ear, you whispered back, “You picked this movie.”

He ignored your comment. “Kiss me.”

Holding his face with your right hand, you lifted your head off his warm coat. Sasuke allowed you to take your time, frowning under the flashing lights from the screen when you started to analyze his face.

Blinking rapidly, letting out a shaky breath, you closed the gap between your mouths. He reciprocated instantly, curling his arm around you so you wouldn’t move.

It was slow, calculated on his behalf which annoyed you. It was a kiss, for show or not, it was just a kiss and he still had to make sure it was perfect.

And it was. His lips shouldn’t have been that soft, and he had no business being such a good kisser. Sasuke’s hand, light on your plush waist, sent shivers down your spine due to its coldness.

You deepened the kiss, sliding your hand to the back of his head.

Fuck. Why were you so willing to make out with him?

════════════════════════

School was a nightmare on Monday, people stared at you without blinking and double-checked whether you had really arrived with Sasuke or not.

Overwhelmed by questions that followed you to every class and even to work, you also had to put up with Sakura’s glare and Shikamaru’s hurt semblance.

Your assumptions had naively been that things would simmer down yet you had never felt regret quite like this.

Nothing would have mattered if Ino hadn’t taken things so badly. She wasn’t speaking to you, that was how mad she was. Your best friend didn’t have the decency to explain why your ‘relationship’ with Sasuke bothered her so much that she felt the need to stop talking to you for three weeks straight.

Hinata had been about to tell you something a particular Saturday, but she seemed to think it was useless and after asking you to be careful, she left the apartment with Naruto.

Your cellphone dinged. Cringing at the sound, you silenced it and then unlocked the device to read the text.

Are you busy? I’m bored.

Sasuke was always bored, you would’ve guessed it without him stating the obvious.

I’m watching TV.

That’s a no, then. Get out of your pajama, I’ll be there in 20.

How the hell did he know you were wearing pajamas?

What should I wear, dad?

Kinky. Casual clothes. But wear comfortable shoes, I don’t want to hear you complain.

Heat crawled up your face, prompting you to exhale at a slow pace. Dropping the cellphone onto the couch, you walked toward your room.

To your surprise, he wasn’t wearing a shirt and a coat. Instead, he sported a plain t-shirt and a bomber jacket.

It wasn’t that the outfit didn’t suit him, it did, but you needed a few minutes to get used to the style. He glared at you when he caught you staring which made you deviate your eyes to the car.

Nodding, he opened the door for you. Relieved that he hadn’t snapped at you for checking him out, you entered the car in silence.

“Do you watch a lot of TV?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

He reformulated, “Are you a television buff?”

“Eh. I don’t have enough time to watch much.”

His only answer was a hum.

Bowling. He took you bowling. The thing he knew you were so bad at that every time your friends suggested the activity you found an excuse to skip.

He looked so smug, draping his arm around your shoulders as a teasing boyfriend would to their partner.

You let out an annoyed sigh, not shying away from letting him know he had achieved the amusement he had been seeking.

“I’ll teach you,” he assured lowly.

You picked the shoes you were given, trying not to make a face. Thanking the clerk, who wasn’t at fault for the horrendous style of the shoes nor for how petty Sasuke got to be, you walked toward the bench.

He sat down beside you, undoing his sneakers.

“Why did you make me wear comfortable shoes when I would have to put on these ugly things anyway?”

“I forgot.”

Inserting both your names on the computer, he nodded upward so you would pick a ball.

You looked for his approval, fitting your fingers in a red ball and lifting it as you stared at him.

“Is that comfortable for you?”

“Yeah.”

He got closer to you, settling his hand on your upper arm. “You need to relax your muscles, otherwise you’ll hurt yourself.”

Nodding, you wetted your lips. Why did they feel so dry? “Now what?”

“Try to score more points than me.”

Asshole.

At least you had a good time.

════════════════════════

There you were, smiling at people as you gave them their orders and offering to take over when your coworker was struggling with the espresso machine.

Sasuke had pushed the thought of his assignment to the side, too busy watching you rearrange cups. It was soothing to see, an activity so mundane yet so important to your job.

“Stop staring at her,” Naruto chastised. “It’s creepy.”

“I can stare as much as I want.”

“I wasn’t talking to you,” the blond mumbled, motioning with his head at Shikamaru who had twisted his body to give you all his attention.

Sasuke glowered at his best friend, then at Shikamaru. He stared at you again, watching you disappear behind the door that led to the back. Annoyed, he threw his books into the backpack and closed his laptop.

Both men in front of him curiously stared. Ah, so now they wanted to pay attention, huh.

Standing up, he swung the backpack onto his left shoulder. As if on cue, you stepped out of the kitchen, apron-less and struggling to zip your jacket. When you finally achieved it, your eyes found his.

Approaching him, pursing your lips, you fixed the uneven string of his hoodie with both hands. A twinge of red appeared on his cheeks, yet he didn’t push you away.

“Where’s your bag?”

“Hinata took it with her.”

Sasuke hummed, staring past your shoulder. “We should get going.”

Nodding, you motioned for him to lead the way. He grabbed your hand, dragging you out of the shop before you could say goodbye to Naruto and Shikamaru.

He walked mindlessly, passing the spot where his car was parked. His fingers squeezed yours, trapping them in between.

“Where are we going?”

“I don’t know.”

You stayed silent. He was clearly in a bad mood, and you weren’t going to coddle him into talking about it. He would never do it either way.

The walk was nice, the silence he had forced you into added to the enjoyment. The city was busy, always, no matter the time, and you could hear bits and pieces of conversations and songs as you passed different businesses.

He huffed. “Why do you even work at a coffee shop?”

“It’s temporary. After the internship, I haven’t found the right fit in terms of schedule...”

He hummed, encouraging you to complete your comment.

You added the real reason why you had settled, “The coffee shop gave me the perfect excuse to move out of my dad’s house.”

“I didn’t like living at my parent’s house anymore either. My brother tried to convince me to move in with him, but it defeated the purpose.”

“Itachi is cool, though.”

He narrowed his eyes. “He is cool? My brother?”

“Yeah.” You shrugged. “Everybody thinks so. I’m pretty sure we all have had a crush on him at some point.”

“Hn.”

He didn’t say another word. Turning around, he dragged you all the way back.

He didn’t answer when he dropped you off at your building and you told him to be safe either. Not even with a nod or one of his grunts.

Wondering if you had done something wrong, if perhaps talking about his brother like that had been too much, you let out a chuckle.

You were reading too much into his attitude, why would he get upset over hearing a fact?

Now, Sasuke himself was handsome, you could admit that. But admitting that was like saying flowers were pretty, or that puppies were cute — it was so obvious, so agreed upon that the repetitiveness of the admission would have been pointless; a tad bit annoying.

Checking your phone, eager to see his “I’m home” text, you entered the kitchen.

“You know he doesn’t like you, right?”

Grabbing a couple of grapes, you asked, “What makes you say that?”

“Sasuke doesn’t like PDA, and he isn’t normally chatty. He’s using you to spite Sakura.”

You felt something heavy on your chest. Swallowing your spit, you popped a grape into your mouth and chewed it slowly.

She continued, taking your stance as a cue to speak, “When he was with Sakura—“

You snapped, almost choking on the fruit you had just swallowed, “I am not Sakura, so I don’t care.”

“Ino told me you would say that...”

“Oh, so she can talk about me but she can’t talk to me?” you rasped, immediately coughing up after.

“She needs time. This is weird, and we’re both...” she sighed, searching for the right word, “worried. You turned down a guy who sees you as a goddess for someone known to be emotionally unavailable.”

“I don’t want to be seen as a goddess. I am not one, I have no desire to be held to a standard I can’t possibly match.”

Hinata looked skeptical, as if you had ever shown any desire to be perceived as a mystical being.

You started gesturing with your hands, hoping she would understand what you were coming from, “I want to be seen like a person who can’t always react in the best way possible and is insecure at times... I want to know the other person won’t run away because I’m not the cookie-cutter woman they imagined.”

”Sasuke is not the one who can give you that either.”

You frowned.

“Sakura tried—“

You rolled your eyes, feeling an approaching headache. “Do you know how many times he has compared me to her? Zero!”

Hinata dropped her eyes to the floor, shaking her head. “You’re falling for him.”

“I am not!”

“Why are you getting so defensive? You are dating him.”

“Because you’re insinuating I’m being blinded by him!”

“Of course not. You’re just ignoring what you can clearly see.”

You weren’t ignoring anything.

No, really, you weren’t.

He was using you with your consent. You were more than fine with it.

Your stomach churned.

Shit.

════════════════════════

You found Hinata’s commitment endearing. She had asked you a few weeks ago if you would be okay with her throwing Naruto a birthday party at the apartment.

When you said yes, you didn’t imagine she would be so bossy. She had you all working on different things while she and Sakura baked and decorated the cake.

Your duty was making sure everything was as she had planned. Her drawings were amazingly detailed, and you were getting more nervous as you compared the real thing with the paper.

“I think we need more...” Shikamaru made a dramatic gesture with both hands.

“Color?” you offered.

“Exactly!”

It looked more than fine to you in terms of color. It was just a birthday party for a young adult, not a thematic party for a child. What the balloons needed was to stay on the wall.

Shikamaru leaned against said wall. A balloon fell in front of him.“Remember when you did the decoration for the Christmas party in eighth grade?”

“Oh, the paper trees?”

He nodded with a smile appearing on his face. “We could make some paper shapes and glue them to the wall.”

Sensing he was too close, you stepped backward. “I don’t know if we have enough—“ you stopped yourself when your back collided against someone behind you.

Recognizing the hands that were holding your waist, you turned around. Sasuke raised both eyebrows, as though he was expecting something.

“What are you doing here? Where is Naruto?”

“Itachi wanted to take him shopping and finally teach him how to dress.”

“His style isn’t that bad.”

He tugged you closer, humming. “If you say so.”

“Why don’t you help us to stick the balloons on the wall?”

Sasuke analyzed the wall behind you, frowning. God, it must’ve looked ugly. He dragged his hands up, fingers brushing your arm as he snatched the piece of paper off your hand.

“Bring those tapes you bought for bullet journaling in high school.”

You whined. He didn’t have to remind you of that phase. You never did bullet journaling, by the way, the tapes were too cute for you to waste them.

Sighing, you shook him off you. “Fine.”

Hinata shot you a surprised look when you passed the kitchen, carrying the box where you stored the stationary you never used.

Sat on the floor, you wasted your precious time crafting a balloon arch. Sasuke would hand you the balloons and hold them for you to tape while Shikamaru made sure the arch stayed against the wall.

The accumulated weight made it all easier, and it would surely stay there as decoration until the balloons naturally deflated. That made you feel a little less shitty for how much balloons ruined the environment.

Naruto’s reaction made it all worth it. The change of style wouldn’t last, you were sure, but he looked happy.

You caught Itachi staring at you. Sliding your arm off Sasuke’s, you approached the older Uchiha.

“Long time no see.” His smile didn’t fill his dark eyes as he greeted you.

You tried to chuckle. “Two years? Three?”

“Something like that.” He brought his cup to his lips. You waited for what he wanted to say. He let it out, “I’m worried about my brother.” It sounded like a confession.

Taking a sip of your own cup, you took the bait, “Can I ask why?”

“I would be alarmed if his girlfriend didn’t ask why.”

“I didn’t want to intrude.”

“How many times did you see him this week?”

“Every day at campus.”

“And after?” Your silence was the answer he had anticipated. “You don’t have to tell me if you’ve been fighting, but you need to fix things.”

“W—what? No! We are fine.”

He didn’t believe you. “He never got this upset when he fought with Sakura.”

“Why does everyone insist on comparing me to her?!”

“Because he dumped her for you.”

You hated hearing that. It wasn’t true, and if it had been it would’ve been fucked up so you would’ve stayed away. At least you wanted to believe that. “I didn’t force him.”

Itachi rested his hand on your shoulder, brotherly encouraging you, “Go talk to him. You’ll do everybody a favor.”

Instead of looking for Sasuke, you decided to entrench yourself in your bedroom. Everyone was having fun, you didn’t want to sour the mood with whatever it was you were feeling.

You bumped into Ino on your way to your room. She ignored you while you followed her with your eyes. She was handed a drink by Sakura.

Shaking your head, you continued your path. Were the hostilities worth it? Your best friend seemed to have forgotten you existed, Sakura hated you, Shikamaru hadn’t given up... and the worst part of it all, Hinata was right.

Closing the door behind you, letting out a long sigh, you failed to see you weren’t alone.

Sasuke took his earphones off, sitting up on your bed where he had been laying on his back.

You sat down on the edge of the bed. “Why are you here?”

“You left me alone to go with Itachi.”

“You should talk to him,” you told him, hoping it would convince him to leave the room. “He’s worried about you.”

“Your crush Itachi?”

“Your brother Itachi.”

Sasuke grunted.

You left the bed in order to snatch the zippered hoodie on your desk chair. To your luck, the autumn air would get too chilly while you were trying to unwind.

He grabbed you by the wrist, startling you.

“What the fuck is your problem, Sasuke?”

“What’s yours? Since when do you get so worked up by me not saying anything?”

“Since when do you ignore the person you are supposedly dating for an entire week?”

Dropping your wrist, he shrugged, only staring at you to see your reaction.

“This was a mistake.”

Picking your keys, you dropped them into your pocket. You took your cellphone so you could let know Hinata you were fine and walked to the door.

“So that’s it?” He asked harshly. “You’re going to leave me in your room, take a walk, come back, kiss Shikamaru and pretend this didn’t mean anything?”

“Yeah,” you admitted. He had picked up on it quicker than it took you to plan it. “He’s nice and hasn’t given up.”

You counted his steps. One, two — he messed with his hair. Three, four — he looked taller as he approached you. Five, six — his chest heaved up and down. Seven, eight — he fixed his eyes on yours. Nine, ten — why were you counting?

“Is he?”

You nodded, holding his gaze.

“Do you want to know what’s going to happen?” He didn’t wait for you to answer. “You will do all of that, regret it when he becomes unbearable again, and wish I was there so you could use me some more.”

“I am the one who used you?!” The fucking nerve of this guy. “It was your idea.”

“Well, I stopped doing it a week after!” He exploded.

No, no, no. You shook your head, trying to find a way to put more distance between you and him.

“You don’t know what you want. You just haven’t spent enough time with other people. AND we wouldn’t even work that well together! I like showing affection and you don’t, a—and I talk too much for my own good...”

“Haven’t I shown you enough affection already?”

“It’s different. That was fake.” You explained it to him, “I mean doing things because you want, because showing the other person that you care feels good. Sometimes it’s handholding but others is not doing it because you can tell that person is—“

He cupped your face to shut you up, bumping his nose with yours. Slanting his head, he gave you the chance to push him away, to tell him no. That didn’t happen, you couldn’t do it, you didn’t want to do it.

He kissed you, and you kissed him back. Your hands traveled up his arms, stopping at his shoulders. Sasuke hummed into the kiss, sliding his hand to the back of your head while the other stayed on your cheek.

You parted from him, barely allowing some space to exist between you two as you analyzed his expression.

“I was angry,” he confessed under his breath. “Itachi is nicer than me, more of your type.”

“You misunderstood what I said.”

He nodded. “I was mad already, but then you spoke about my brother like that and...” clenching his jaw, he turned his head to the side. Sasuke stared at the wall, willing it to show him the appropriate words to say. “Being with you feels right and I don’t want to lose that. I wish I had seen it sooner.”

You giggled out of nervousness — this was more nerve-wracking than being seen as a goddess. This was real, you hadn’t done much to achieve it. And he was correct, it felt right.

Breathing in and out at a slow rhythm, you found yourself toying with the seam of his t-shirt. “I shouldn’t like you this much.”

“I personally believe you should.”

You did it anyway. It couldn’t be that bad if there was no fiber of your being that didn’t scream in some level of awe every time you were around him. Or every time you thought of him. Or when you heard his name being uttered.

Wrapping your arms around his neck, you pulled him into another kiss.

Sasuke moved his hands to your hips, gripping them tightly as he angled his face to deepen the kiss. His tongue slid past his lips and pried yours open, caressing your tongue once you gave him access.

Movement behind you interrupted the heated kiss. The door was pushed open. You craned your neck, arms still around Sasuke as your eyes fell on Hinata.

“We’re about to sing Happy Birthday to Naruto.”

Sasuke sighed shakily, withdrawing his hands from your body.

Hinata didn’t leave your room until you showed signs of intending to follow her to the dining room. Sasuke trailed behind you, hurrying to grab your hand.

Everyone was staring at you instead of focusing on Naruto. You avoided looking at anyone but the celebrated, wanting the song to be over already.

Ino stared blankly for a moment, eyes moving to your shoulder. And it dawned on you — it had never been about your happiness or comfort.

She liked Sasuke too.

════════════════════════

He watched you fidget in the middle of his kitchen as you used to in middle school, back when you weren’t able to string a sentence in front of a stranger without stuttering.

He grew worried as your fidgeting turned into pacing.

“Why are you so tense?”

You shrugged dismissively. “Things out of my control.”

Controlling the way other people felt wasn’t something you ever wanted. It sounded like the worst superpower in the world. You just wished Ino would’ve told you the truth.

Losing friends over a guy was not how you thought your love life would go when you accepted helping him. It didn’t cross your mind when you realized you had fallen for him — perhaps because his reciprocity hadn’t been something you foresaw either.

“You can stay with me tonight if you want,” he offered like he knew exactly what the problem was.

“Wouldn’t you like that?” you joked.

“Very much.”

You almost smiled. Your gut told you to hug him, kiss every millimeter of his gorgeous face, and just forget about everything else. Your brain found the idea stupid.

”Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot.”

“Do you really hate affection?” God, what an annoying question to make. “ I— I don’t want to be repetitive with the topic, but I would feel awful if I was forcing you to display anything.”

“You’re not forcing me.”

Sasuke beckoned you closer, resting his forehead on yours when you complied. You forgot the words you were meaning to say, willing to get lost in his eyes and never come back.

You cradled his face, leaning forward. Brushing your lips against his, you decided that worrying and feeling bad would only keep you from experiencing this. And so you kissed him more firmly, stomach flipping when he chuckled on your mouth.

He broke the kiss for a fleeting moment, just to mumble, “I’ll show you real affection.”

His lips returned to yours, kissing you aggressively. He left you breathless, gasping for more of his mouth instead of air. His hands roamed your body as he kissed you.

Your heart hammered in your chest, feeling him push you backward. Your back hit the counter and he used the fact as leverage to grind against you.

Dragging his mouth down your throat, he put the soft kisses he had been meaning to litter all over your neck for weeks to the side and instead sucked on your tender skin.

The actions granted him a whimper on your behalf. His hips bucked up, prompting you to trail your hands down his torso. He refused to disconnect your fronts, grinding on you some more.

Sasuke toyed with the edge of your t-shirt, barely inching it up as he did so. His fingers brushed your soft stomach. “Take it off.”

Gripping the hem of your t-shirt, you slid off as quickly as you could, awkwardly holding it in your hand. Sasuke pried it off your hand, throwing the fabric to the side.

He took his shirt off too, letting it fall on top of yours. His hands were back on you instantly, running up your torso as he fit his knee between your legs.

You unabashedly groped his shoulders and back, attaching your mouth to his collarbone. Sasuke grunted, bringing his hands down to undo your jeans.

He cupped your pussy, fingers pushing your panties flush against your labia. He felt the material dampen just as you ground on his hand.

“Be patient.”

You whined. “Don’t tease me then.”

Pushing your jeans and panties down to your knees, he collected your wetness, spreading it up and down. “You think that’s teasing?”

“I don’t care. Do something.”

His thumb brushed your clit. He drew light circles on it, eyes fixed on your needy ones. He smiled, satisfied with the effect he was having on you.

Slowly, he slid a finger in your pussy, pressing his thumb on your clit. He caressed your walls, taking his time to make sure he wouldn’t hurt you.

The addition of a second digit came with harsher movements. The curling of his fingers inside you consequentially led him to rub your clit.

“Do you like that?”

You hung your head forward, gripping his shoulders as you hummed. Not able to help it, you arched your back, lifting your hips. His name erupted from your lips, tone needy as you asked him not to stop the scissoring movement.

“Use your words, baby, tell me how good I’m making you feel.”

Your walls momentarily squeezed his fingers. “So good.”

He kissed your jaw, then dragged his mouth against your skin, peppering kisses down your neck.

“Turn around.”

“Bu—“

“It’s been a while, I’m not going to last long.”

You bent over the counter with your ass up, waiting for him. A thrill ran down your spine when you heard him zip down his pants.

He rubbed the tip of his cock over your slit, making you whimper. You lightly shook your ass, encouraging him to get inside you already.

Giving you a playfully spank, Sasuke dipped into your pussy. His breath hitched, the warmth enveloping him was better than he had imagined. You could feel every inch filling you, his veins throbbing against your walls.

As impatient as you were, you craned your neck. “Give me a moment,” you said shakily, “it’s been a while for me too.”

His fingers trailed up and down your sides, silently assuring you that you could take as much time as you needed.

You didn’t need much time, your lust for him, combined with his soft touch, and how good he felt seated inside you, were more than enough for you to relax.

“You can move.”

He started slow, resting his hands on your waist as he pulled out only to enter you again. He did it a couple of times until he was sure you weren’t experiencing discomfort.

The pace was too slow in your opinion, a waste of time. You didn’t care how long he would last, at that point you just wanted him to make you come.

“I’ll do whatever you want,“ you promised urgently, “just go fast.”

His hands moved up. While his right one groped your chest, trying to free your tits from the bra, his left arm wrapped tightly around your middle.

Thrusting up into you, he managed to sneak his hand into your bra. Pinching your nipple, he relished in the sounds you were making, in how tightly you were squeezing him.

It made him quicken up his pace. The arm around you loosened for a moment so he could trail his hand down. Finding your clit again, he started rubbing it, this time with quick circular movements.

You gripped the counter, crying out. You wanted to thrash and scream all at once, in part because you were sure he would’ve liked it but mostly because your legs were already tingling.

He didn’t miss a single time. Not only was he hitting your g-spot repeatedly, but Sasuke had also put the inhibitions aside and with his breath on your cheek, he was moaning in your ear, moving his palm to your other breast, kneading it. You shifted on your feet, wishing you could do anything else than hold onto the counter.

His thrusts were getting sloppy, fingers rubbing your clit fervently.

You let out a string of courses through whines, brain getting fuzzy as he nuzzled against your neck.

Pulsing around him, your curses became incoherent sounds that mingled with his groans and hums.

Sasuke rasped in your ear, “Come all over me.”

You didn’t trust your words, not when his own went straight to your lower stomach. There was nothing you longed for more than pleasing him. He had demanded it, and you complied quicker than your pride would ever allow you to admit.

He blurted your name, spilling inside you after a few finishing snaps from his hips.

Guiding you to a standing position, pushing your belly against the edge of the counter as his sweaty chest heaved against your back, Sasuke attempted to catch his breath.

Fascinated by the fact that you were using a blow dryer to dry your panties, Sasuke leaned against the bathroom’s doorway.

“Do you need help?”

“No.”

“Are you mad at me?”

You turned the panties inside out, just making sure you were drying them properly. “Why would I be mad? It wasn’t on purpose.”

The bathroom became silent as you turned the dryer off. Sliding the panties on, you stared at him with eyebrows raised.

Sasuke scoffed, looking away. Clearing his throat, he announced, “The kitchen is clean already.”

Turning the light off, you walked past him into his bedroom. He placed his hands on your waist, sitting down on his bed as you stood between his legs.

“Are you staying?”

“Yeah. Hinata texted me, she wants the apartment all for her and Naruto.”

His brow furrowed. “But... would you stay if she hadn’t said anything?”

Moving a strand of hair off his face, you assured him, “Yes.”

Sasuke hummed, sliding his hands to your back in order to wrap his arms around you. Holding onto his shoulders, you blew air on his face to keep that stupid hair from covering his eyes.

Amused, he shook his head vigorously to mess his hair. You pouted. He snorted, tugging on your hips to bring you onto the bed on top of him.

Resting your weight on your arm, laying on your side, you reached out to fix his hair. Sasuke pushed your hand away, shifting to face you.

“You need to trim that hair.”

He grunted. “What’s wrong with my hair?”

“Nothing really, but it doesn’t let me admire your eyes.”

A red tint appeared on his face. You kissed his flushed cheek, smiling against his skin.

“You’re enjoying this way too much,” he whispered.

“I’ve already admitted I like you, the least I can do is enjoy making you blush.”

Sasuke repositioned himself on the mattress, closer to you as his new position on his side naturally allowed him to. He gave you a kiss out of nowhere.

You laid on your back to give your arm a break, draping your other arm over his frame to trail your fingers down his spine.

He dropped his head onto your chest, sighing softly, while his arm circled your waist.

“I thought you didn’t like cuddling,” you commented, worried that he would get uncomfortable.

“I might’ve lied,” he mumbled, nuzzling on your t-shirt.

[zigtheeortega]

calm before the storm

✿ pairing: bryce x mc

✿ word count: 2.5k

✿ warnings: loss, death, funeral – angst.

✿ author’s note: i didn’t necessarily think that bryce was written ooc, but the whole post-funeral sequence was pretty weird to me. i’m someone who copes very similarly to bryce, so i could see myself reflected in him a lot. and i thought the s*x scene was very oddly placed so, here’s me warping canon again bc i’m dissatisfied! lmao hope u enjoy <3 also this fic is very close to me emotionally – i experienced two close deaths in april and june. 

•─────────✦✿✦────────•

Since the moment his hands trembled amidst one of the most important surgeries of his life, Bryce was holding on by a thread.

With each half-assed joke he cracked, each wavering smile, each time he tried convincing others – including himself – that he was coping, he fell apart more and more.

The first night he went home after Spencer was quarantined, he trudged through the halls of Edenbrook, like he was dragging his legs through wet concrete. He was nearly magnetized to her bedside, not wanting to leave, but he needed to rest – he’d been awake for nearly a day and a half by the time he clocked out.

He blinked and he was back home. Couldn't remember how he got there. He was on autopilot and didn’t have a clue until he’d already wasted so much time. When night came, he couldn’t recall what he’d done that day.

The days between the diagnostics team finding a cure were torturous, the mere thought of not knowing what the future held – for the first time in his life – shaking him to his core.

He found himself paying close attention to Keiki. Each sarcastic quip, rude comment, or joke at his expense, he listened, soaking it up, no thoughts about the problem back in Hawaii. He whole-heartedly enjoyed her. Through one of the hardest times in his life, he was rekindling a relationship that never should’ve fallen apart.

The night he spent with Spencer, cuddled up next to her in his starchy hazmat suit, was the most daunting of them all. He was smiling and flirting with her, a little bit of his normal self shining through, but the crushing weight of his reality was distracting him.

This could be the last time that you see her smile.

God, he knew he had a killer smile of his own, but hers put the whole damn sun to shame. Her grin lit up her whole body, like every atom in her body was in it. And despite her sunken in eyes, her pale, sickly appearance, she still emitted those same infectious rays that he was eager to soak up.

This could be the last time that you hold her.

He curled himself around her, spooning her like he’d done a handful of times before. What he wouldn’t give to have a faceful of her hair again, the tropical scent so familiar to him that he couldn’t help but associate the scent of coconut with her.

This could be the last time that you feel her.

He stroked her face with a gloved hand, wishing for nothing more than to feel her smooth skin beneath his fingertips again. He pressed into her, hoping she could feel his warmth through the thin layer of fabric.

When her eyelids finally fluttered shut, overcome with exhaustion, his mind wandered to the possibility of it all being over.

And he couldn’t cope with that.

Thankfully, he didn’t have to.

When the treatment worked, and both she and Rafael were cured, it was the first time in months he’d experienced genuine joy. He didn’t know what higher power out there was looking out for him, but he silently thanked the universe for looking out for her. And for putting her in his life, and decidedly keeping her there.

The funeral was too much for him.

Seeing the two caskets, sealed tight, the endless arrangements of flowers, the sea of black clothing… it was overwhelming. Foreign. Like he was intruding on something so intimate that wasn’t meant for him to see.

And the sounds. He’d never forget it. Choked sobs from every angle, constant sniffling, a sporadic wail. The atmosphere made him antsy. His suit was itchy, his shoes were uncomfortable, and he was surrounded by grief.

Both Danny and Bobby meant a lot to Edenbrook, but it was nothing compared to what Spencer meant to him.

He must’ve slipped into auto-pilot (again), because before he knew it, the funeral was over, and he was outside of her apartment.

Wordlessly, he wrapped her in his arms, burying his face in her shoulder, the smell of her shampoo enough to bring him to tears. He was so fucking close to losing that forever. His free will to kiss her, to touch her, to hold her.

She invited him in, and every step to her room felt like each string that held him together was snapping, his sutures buckling under the weight he carried.

He was digging deep, trying to pull any kind of genuine quip from within him, to maybe – just maybe – convince Spencer he was okay.

But did he want to keep her in the dark?

Opening up was so fucking hard for him. Either he was a burden or he was let down by the people he confided in.

Trustworthiness was hard to come by, and Bryce knew that. That’s why Spencer was the first to know about Keiki, about his parents, about him. Not entirely, since he wasn’t ready for that just yet, but he was getting there.

It was a slow process, and he revered Spencer’s patience. Not once did she get upset with him for not sharing every detail.

And he almost fucking lost that.

His torturous inner monologue that he worked so hard to bury showed up when Keiki did. Guilt ate him alive, anxiety gnawed his insides, and regret feasted on whatever was left.

His mind was a hurricane, angry waves crashing painfully against his subconscious, the storm surge from his repeated trauma more than he could handle alone.

The one person he should’ve let in was almost taken from him, ripped from him like a surfboard after a wipeout.

He was drowning, and he flicked away the only hand that was outstretched for him.

And he almost fucking lost her.

The moment Spencer’s brows furrowed at whatever unconvincing mask he had plastered on his features, he broke.

His throat ached and flexed as he tried to choke back the tears, but he just… couldn’t.

Fuck, you’re so weak. He cursed at himself as the tears started flowing, warm streaks trailing down his bronzed skin, vision blurred like his head was under water. This isn’t about you.

The one time deflection was warranted, he broke down into a blubbering heap at her feet.

Like the angel she was, Spencer coaxed his body towards the bed, settling him against the down comforter before his legs buckled beneath him.

She gathered him in her arms, holding him exactly like he needed (like he wanted, but he didn’t want to admit it out loud).

She held him like he held her – like it was the last time.

The revelation tore him up inside, knowing she’d never take a second of their time together for granted again.

He pulled back, running a shaky hand through his hair, loose strands clinging to his damp forehead.

“I normally can hold it together better.” “You don’t have to do that around me, Bryce. You know that,” she encouraged, eyes still red-rimmed from the funeral.

“You’re the one that almost died, and I’m sitting here crying letting you comfort me,” he laughed through a sob, bouncing his leg on the ground nervously.

“You watched me almost die,” she whispered, squeezing his hand. “You’re allowed to be upset.”

His chin wobbled, and he rolled his lips to mask it. He took a shuddering breath, squeezing his eyes shut. “Spencer, I – have you ever…” He trailed off. Why was this so fucking hard?

“Have I been through this before?”

“Yeah,” was all he could manage.

She nodded. “Have you?”

“No.”

She nodded again.

“It’s making me think about my life… and the people in it. And things I could’ve done differently… better.”

“What do you mean?”

“When I saw you in that room, after the gas started affecting you, and your face… it –” he bit his lip to hold back a soft sob. “It got me thinking about everything that we didn’t do.”

“Bryce…” she laced her fingers in his, rubbing her thumb methodically over his skin.

“We’ve barely seen each other this year, Spencer. I got caught up with Keiki, and trying to figure shit out, and –” he searched her eyes, tears welling up again. “When I saw you in that room, nothing else mattered.”

“More than one thing can be important to you –”

“You’re important to me, Spence. You deserve better than what I’ve given you this year,” he shook his head, tears spilling over. “I can’t lose you.”

“You aren’t losing me, Bryce. I’m right here,” she practically cooed, trying her best to soothe him.

“I shouldn’t be the one being comforted right now. Please,” he whispered.

She pulled back, scooting backward onto the bed to cross her legs, as he stood up, pacing.

“It’s like I’m fucking up left and right with the people who matter to me,” he fisted his pockets, avoiding her eyes as he strode across the room.

“You of all people should know that you can’t take the blame for things that are out of your control,” she murmured softly, tugging at a loose string at the hem of her dress.

“I know I can’t control it and that’s why it makes me want to tear my fucking hair out,” he said through gritted teeth, biting back tears. He didn’t want to cry anymore, but his body had other ideas.

“Bryce, you couldn’t have stopped a bursting gas canister. Nobody could’ve stopped it.”

“That’s not what I’m frustrated over. I’m… I don’t know how to say it without sounding like a dick and making this about me. There’s a lot going through my head right now,” he laughed humorlessly, stopping in the middle of the room directly across from the bed.

“Talk it out with me. I’ve got time,” she smiled encouragingly, folding her hands in her laps politely, like the angel she was.

God, sometimes he was thankful for his parent’s demonic behavior, because if not for the bad karma the Lahela’s accumulated, there’s no way in hell the universe would’ve balanced itself out by placing an angel like her in his path.

“On the one hand I’m angry at myself for not spending time with you like I should’ve,” he chewed his lip for a second, trying to gather his thoughts, before speaking again slowly. “I could’ve lost you and I was more worried about keeping secrets from everyone and dealing with shit on my own, you know? Which I never should’ve done.”

“But you didn’t and still don’t have to tell me anything. You’re allowed to have boundaries,” she interjected calmly.

“But maybe… maybe I don’t want that anymore,” he shrugged out of his tux jacket, draping it over the back of her desk chair as he spoke. “You still barely know Keiki. I barely know Keiki. And I holed myself up when you were waiting there with open arms. I don’t know. Maybe I just didn’t want to burden anybody? I don’t know.” He repeated, downplaying his own self–realization.

“And I’m frustrated because I don’t… know how to deal with this,” he gestured around the room, then to himself. “How to wrap my brain around all of it. This was the first time I lost anybody like this.”

“I wasn’t even super close to Danny and Bobby,” he continued, shoving his hands in his pockets to calm his shaking hands.

“Losing people is always hard. Doesn’t matter how close or distant you are to somebody,” she said, trying to hold his eyes, but he could barely look at her.

He’d never opened up like this before. He was so vulnerable… so exposed, and he was afraid. Afraid she’d run away. That she’d bolt the second he plopped his thick suitcases filled to the brim, nearly bursting with emotional baggage from the past two decades.

“I’m sad about losing them, definitely, and going to a funeral for the first time in my life really fucked with my head but… fuck, I’m gonna sound like such an asshole,” he willed himself to look up from his shoes, staring intently at her. “None of that even comes close to what I felt when I thought I’d lost you.”

“Kyra was hanging on by a thread while I thought you were –” he choked, pressing his lips in a firm line to stop his sobs, which escaped through his nose in short breaths instead.

“I’ve never felt pressure like that. And my life has been nothing but pressure.” The words were freely flowing from him, like a dam held together by a few twigs, snapping to release a flood that neither of them anticipated.

“You had to run towards your problems, not away from them,” she whispered, like she wasn’t sure if he’d agree. But the moment the words left her lips, it was like the puzzle pieces fell into place for him.

Maui should’ve been his safe haven, but from the moment his parents were exposed in every form of news throughout Hawaii, he was itching to leave. The island fever settled into his bones and never left. It was an ever present anxiety he struggled with despite finding a home in Boston, Edenbrook, and Spencer.

When shit went down back home, he ran. When people found out who he was states away from the fallout, he ran. It was predictable, methodical, like an appendectomy. The same muscle memory that sliced skin and fastened sutures with delicate precision pumped his legs until he was as far away from his problems as he could get.

“Everytime I lost somebody, it was because I chose to. This time it was like something was being ripped away from me, and I couldn’t handle it,” Bryce said, a profound statement that caused a pained whimper to escape his lips.

“Bry…” She breathed, scooting to the edge of the bed, gently tugging at his shirt sleeve to pull him down to sit on the comforter.

“You don’t have to have all the answers right now, alright? And you don’t have to carry all of this alone. I’m here. You’ve got all of us,” she said, motioning towards the walls of the apartment. “Sometimes just letting it out can take the weight off your shoulders. And you’ve got a heavy load, Bryce.”

She rubbed soothing circles on his back, leaning over to kiss his cheek. “I’m not leaving you.”

He held her eye, doe-eyed gaze piercing – Spencer could see right through him, and god did he love feeling seen.

There was nothing he could say to thank her properly for putting aside her feelings to listen to him for a few minutes. Those few minutes where he unleashed a small portion of the shit he’d been building up for years.

So instead he did what he’d been craving since the moment he saw her behind the glass.

He pulled her into a frenzied kiss, pouring every part of himself into the embrace, wrapping him in her arms like she belonged there, as if he was saying “I’m not leaving you, either. You’re safe now.”

––––

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[sylvie-writes]

here’s what i’m thinking. it’s the 1940’s. y/n is on her first date w the lovely steve rogers. it’s lots of shy giggly fluff. syd, my fabulous companion, can you write something along the lines of this and i’ll swim across the atlantic to shower you and mags in kisses. love u xx

First Date Jitters

“Becs, what if he doesn’t like me. What if I annoy him?”

Bothered, you laid your arms on the vanity and groaned, annoyed by the mere thought of ruining this first date. Steve Rogers seemed like a dreamboat and the minute he asked you out on a date, your eyes formed hearts and you were floating on cloud nine. 

“Honey, he asked you out on a date, didn’t he?

“Yeah, but y’all pushed him! Maybe he felt pity for me and-”

Tired of your rambling, Rebecca ran the brush through your hair a bit too harsh for your liking.

“Geez! What was that for, Barnes?”

She smirked and went back to brushing your hair, returning to gentle strokes from before. 

“To shut ya mouth full of lies.” Her strong New York accent came through and you giggled. When Rebecca spoke with a said accent, she meant business and was going to get her point through regardless if you listened or not.

Eventually, you zipped your mouth, letting Becca work her magic with your hair and makeup. As she did so, your mind drifted off to the first time you had met Steve.

“Pleaseeeeee, Bucky’s bringing a friend for dinner. Don’t leave me in a room full of testosterone.”

Becca was down on her knees, clasping the hem of your dress. Currently, you were standing in the middle of a busy sidewalk, people passing and shooting funny glares. Embarrassed, you pulled at her arms, but to no avail, she wouldn't budge from her spot on the cement.

“Rebecca Barnes, get off the ground! You look like a fool!” 

“Not till you say, yes. You know how many dinners you’ve turned down?”

Groaning, you agreed to go just this once. The last time you went to dinner, you made a complete fool of yourself, even though Rebecca said otherwise. Bucky’s naturally flirtatious nature and secretive winks made you read into the situation a bit too much. From then on you vowed to never show up at a dinner of theirs. You’d known Rebecca for almost five years, yet you still couldn’t forgive yourself for that first night. 

“You know why I always refuse, Becca.”

She linked her arm in yours, now off the ground and ready to walk around town some more.

“I know, but Bucky does that to every friend I’ve brought home. Don’t worry, the other girls did way worse than you. In the end, Bucky just likes to hook, line, and sink em kind of thing.”

Rebecca laughed, punctuating her sentence, and at her words of assurance, you felt a bit relieved. 

That night you knocked on the door, and within seconds it flew open. Rebecca, flour covered hands, held out her arms for an awkward hug. 

“You didn’t chicken out this time!”

You gave her a set of squinted eyes and she lightly giggled, waltzing back to the kitchen. Just as you were about to follow, a certain someone stopped you. Blocking the doorway, a young man you had been trying to avoid stood before your much smaller figure.

“Hey! You showed up this time, angel! Sorry I know I kind of scared you off last time. I’m sure Becs has given you her opinion on me.”

Bucky scratched at the back of his neck, shyly looking into your eyes.

“No hard feelings, Buck.”

You gave the man a tight lipped smile and started to maneuver past him, when his arms reached out for your waist.

“Becca told you I brought a friend, right?”

Confused, you cautiously nodded.

“Well, I want you to meet him. Hey Punk! Get out here!”

Suddenly, a man, no smaller than yourself rounded the corner and smiled bashfully at you.

“Hi ma’am, name’s Steve Rogers.”

The man, Steve, held out a hand for you to shake, which you did. All of a sudden, you two started talking and before you knew it, Bucky had left to go tell Rebecca their plan had worked. As implied, dinner ended with Steve asking you out. 

“Hellooooo, any one home in there?”

Rebecca playfully tapped your head, shaking you from your thoughts.

“Huh?”

“I’ve been trying to get your attention for the past five minutes. Thinking ‘bout Rogers, aren't ya?”

With a timid smile, you nodded, soon standing from the vanity seat and going to change. Your friend had done an amazing job on pinning up your hair and fixing your makeup. You almost felt like a million bucks. To compliment it all, your mother had even found you a little baby pink number. Quickly changing, you stepped out of the closet, twirling in the sea on the pink fabric. Rebecca gasped at the sight and immediately reached for the camera, taking a picture of you, mid laughter. 

Checking your wrist watch, you suddenly heard the doorbell and practically ran for the door with Rebecca who was laughing so hard that she couldn’t keep up.

Swinging open the door a bit too excitedly, you found Steve’s grin dissipating. A bit disappointed with his reaction, you toned down the excitement, hoping he wouldn’t notice your sudden change in demeanor.

“Wow, doll. You look,” The young man swallowed the lump in his throat, “stunning. Absolutely gorgeous!”

At the words, your disappointment morphed into satisfaction, and you stepped out the door, hitching onto Steve’s arm, waving goodbye to your best friend. 

“Don’t keep her out too late, Steven!”

Rebecca’s words followed you both down the hallway, causing some laughter from Steve, who seemed a bit uncomfortable. Worried once more, you decided to pry a bit.

“Is everything ok, Steve?”

He turned to you with wide eyes and shook his head to dispute your many apologies.

“I’m just a bit nervous, it’s not you! It's just that no girl as pretty as you has never gone out with me before.”

Steve’s cheeks turned rosy red, before he looked the other direction, not wanting you to see him like this. In his mind, one wrong move and you’d leave him for another.

Humbled at his comment, you took your free hand and turned his face in your direction. With a big smile, you planted a soft kiss on the corner of his lips, leaving the young man almost breathless.

“Don’t worry about me, Stevie. I’m not going anywhere, except where you take me.” 

Confident by your actions, Steve stood a bit taller and led you out of the apartment building, excited for his first date with you. 

You were tucked into Steve’s side, enjoying a small conversation with him. The two of you were quite the pair, nervously asking the other one a question, trying to get to know each other since this was your first date. They say opposites attract, but that was not the case with you and Steve. So far, he had told you of the endless days he’d spent in the hospital, and a part of you longed for him to be healthy, as that sounded like his one wish. Steve would go on and on about how Bucky had set him up on dates and it normally ended with Bucky having two girls around his arms instead of one. You could see Steve’s self-confidence faltering, so you decided to share your many failed-date stories, eliciting a laugh from the man at the few comedic ones. 

The whole walk, you were so caught up in talking to the man, that the two of you almost passed the first place you were going to stop. Of course, you were clueless as to where Steve was taking you, so you would have kept walking if Steve hadn’t stopped and gently placed his hands over your eyes. You felt the man turn you around and walk you a few steps when finally he removed the makeshift blindfold that was his hands.

“We’re here! Rebecca told me how much you loved chocolate, so I figured you could pick a box of your choice.”

He smiled lovingly at you, as you squealed like a child on Christmas morning. Thrilled, you ran into the store, seeing a case of a variety of chocolates. Steve caught up and enjoyed your cute facial expressions as you scanned over the options. There was an endless amount of chocolate, all in different forms and unthinkable flavors. About to order, you pulled out your clutch when Steve halted your actions.

“Now you think I’m gonna let my girl pay for her own box of chocolates?”

“But Steve-”

Your date stood strong in his statement, and demanded that you pick whatever chocolate you wanted. After scowling at him for a bit, you finally caved and picked from the overwhelming selection behind the glass case. You and Steve shared a few samples, laughing at how you both were acting like wine samplers. Since your date was buying the box, you told him that you’d only allow him to do so, if he selected a few chocolates himself. Begrudgingly, Steve agreed and you both might’ve held up the line a bit with your indecisiveness.

Walking out, you were once again wrapped into Steve’s side, this time his jacket on your shoulders as the sun had gone down and the night chills had creeped out. So far, you could feel Steve becoming more and more comfortable as the two of you started to talk about whatever came to mind. Just as you thought the man was done with the surprises, he stopped in front of the movie theater.

“Steve-”

“Nope, this is our first date, and we are going to make it memorable!”

You chuckled at his persistence and decided to play along.

“Well what about this lovely chocolate, we can’t just toss it out yet?”

Steve took the box and stuffed it in the pocket of his jacket that was still hanging on your shoulders.

“Oooh is Steve Rogers breaking the rules?”

A cheeky grin formed on his lips, “Only because I really like you.”

The minute the words left his mouth, Steve’s ears started to turn cherry and you shyly giggled.

“Well, I really like you too, Steve Rogers.” With that, you kissed him, but this time on the lips. As you did so, you could feel his cheeks warming and a big smile twisted onto your lips, breaking the kiss.

“Oh Steve Rogers, what am I going to do with you?”

[gatheringbones]

do you write with an outline or just sit and write? (correction because I forgot the right word in english oops)

both.

spent the first six months sitting and writing on the computer, which quickly turned into writing about writing because all I had was a vague aesthetic and a pairing in mind and that was all I had to go on. I had to talk to myself on the page for months and months just working out who my protagonist was, what she wanted, an arc she could go through, a possible world I could shape around that arc, chasing and circling what I found interesting and compelling and letting everything that bored me slough off unnoticed as the story kept evolving and evolving and evolving until certain things felt like bedrock good sense. in the meantime I identified that a good portion of the reason I was struggling with writing queer fiction was because I had some pretty fucked up ideas about what queer fiction was supposed to look like, so I supplemented my writing with boatloads of gay and trans and anti-racist and anti-capitalist literature and history so I could get out from under the demon of my own stunted fearful preconception of what territories I was allowed to explore and what language I would use to do so. Half of my notes from that period are just pages and pages of me having one quiet conversation after another with myself on “well why does this work. what feels right about this. why doesn’t this work? why don’t I like it?” I wasn’t allowed to be mean or avoidant— if I felt uncomfortable or on the verge of shutting down with shame or disinterest, I had to explore why, kindly. I found that if I poked those feelings a bit and talked about them the answer would appear in my response— a more interesting spin or approach would occur to me just by asking myself “well if this doesn’t feel good for these reasons, how can I use those reasons to point myself towards something that does?” Then I had the beginnings of a story. I kept kicking that can down the road and stuff just started happening. The cast was a big nebulous ??? right up until I started asking them what kinds of energy I wanted my protagonist to be exposed to, what kinds of reactions she would have, and what directions that would point her in from there. I kept track of my thinking. If I read it back over, I would pay careful attention to what made my brain vibrate with interest and pleasure and recognize how much more I would be able to motivate myself to keep writing if I built the story around those things instead of how I thought a proper adult story ought to go. The story got unbearably exciting and weird as a result, and I found that if I trusted that and leaned into that I could keep going and trust that my weird intuitive brain would keep throwing me solutions as long as I kept all meanness out of the equation. And I kept reading. I had so many stories I was pulling from as inspiration, but to keep my brain limber and my shame in check I had to keep feeding my writing with as much radical exciting work I could get my hands on. the cast showed up, and the ragged suggestion of a plot suddenly snapped into focus because I had a clearer idea of the moving pieces I had available, and it’s almost impossible to come up with a character-driven plot based on their specific wants and needs and desires when you don’t know what those are.

then, suddenly, I had a outline. I knew who these people were, and I had a world that was specifically crafted to compel them to interact and transform in very specific ways, and I had my whole hero’s journey from start to finish. My ability to write prose was still busted from years and years of abusive self-talk, but the story was there, for better or worse. turned off my computer and pulled out a notebook and a good pen. It was February of 2020 and my brain was self destructing with terror, and I sat in the bamboo alley next to my house and wrote prose by hand so I couldn’t ctrl-a and delete like I always used to. I started in the beginning and began trying to write prose. If the outlining process was zoomed out, this was zoomed in. I practiced building scenes and immersing myself in the physical act of writing by hand in the outdoors in an attempt to keep from going nuts. Once I finished a section, I’d have another small written-down conversation with myself about what worked and what didn’t, what I wanted to keep or change or discard, and then I would circle those changes and go on to my next attempt at the next scene pretending that these changes had been there since the beginning. The important thing was to keep going and to keep track of my thinking. draft two would go back and put things where they were supposed to go, but draft one was for hammering out scene after scene after scene and taking notes on the process. In the meantime I was still breaking my brain down and building it back up with materials that expanded my idea of what was possible, and taking time to reflect on how sometimes the only reason I thought something wasn’t possible was because of shame or disinformation or blatant propaganda. I identified the pleasure of sinking into the struggle of writing a story that isn’t full of boring unexamined shortcuts that prop up terrible systems— the pleasure of struggle in general.

it’s good to sit with a complicated idea that you have to work and work and work at before you can discover what you’re really trying to say with it and how to express that in a way people can follow. it’s good to think of coded ways to make that process of dragging a reader down a complicated idea into something that feels exciting and heroic, so they feel just as excited as you did when you first came up with it. It’s good to be a body engaged in the act of writing, it’s the best feeling in the world. there’s no such thing as being stuck, there’s just stopping because you don’t think you deserve to continue, and that’s nonsense.

[zlatanakermann]

KARASUNO FIRST YEARS - Friendship

This is something I have been thinking about a lot lately. I simply love the hc in which the four boys are extremely protective with Yachi, so I HAD TO write about it.

The image is not mine, I found it on Pinterest and I have no idea where it comes from, but I love it!

I am sorry about any possible grammatical error, English isn’t my first language so it is a bit difficult for me to write such long things on my phone.

Warnings: mhhh not much, there is swearing and mention of sex, but this isn’t a smut fiction.

Story: Karasuno first years being good friends for Yachi when she struggles to deal with love.

Yachi Hitoka was the sweetest cinnamon roll of all Karasuno. She was shy, but extremely determined, she was hardworking and passionate, and she was incredibly cute. Not that anyone, besides the few people who actually spoke to her (mainly the volleyball team), had noticed.

This went for the first year of high school. But it changed as soon as her body started showing stronger hints that Yachi Hitoka wasn’t a baby anymore but she was, in fact, a woman, and a beautiful one.

Maybe it was because of the sudden interest of the whole school for the volleyball team after their admirable performance at the nationals the previous year, together with Kyoko’s absence; or maybe it was just because Yachi Hitoka didn’t develop only two sizes on her chest, but also more self-confidence. Anyway, in the second year of High School at Karasuno, Yachi became pretty popular and she found herself a boyfriend. A pretty good one! He wasn’t a volleyball player, “Thank God!” she always thought. She loved her friends and she loved volleyball: but she wasn’t sure that she would have liked to date one of her teammates. The “Karasuno First Years”, which were now second years, and now were her closest friends, didn’t particularly like or dislike this guy. He was totally insignificant, according to them.

Yachi wanted her boyfriend to meet the “volleyball guys” she was so attached to, mostly because he looked a little bit jealous and she was determined to show him that they were cool guys, and that they didn’t have any hidden intentions towards her. So she organized a group date with the boys in one of their free days.

“I mean, he’s not that bad...” Hinata said to his teammates at the end of the date, once Yachi had been far from them, holding that insignificant guy’s hand.

“Yeah, it’s just... I don’t know, I feel like he’s not that great either.” Yamaguchi added, with a frown on his face.

“Oi! Dumbasses.” Kageyama punched Hinata on his head, just because. “Yachi looked happy. This should be the most important thing, right? Didn’t you see how she was smiling?”

Tsukishima shrugged “As Our Majesty said, our friends’ happiness comes first: it’s not like WE have to date that guy. If she likes him, I guess he is ok.”

“But.” Kageyama intervened once more “Yachi is too sweet and naive sometimes.”

“That’s why she has us.” Hinata replied seriously. “We’ll watch her back.”

The fun thing was that none of them has ever had a relationship before, so they were basically observing Yachi’s one without really being aware of what was happening. Their only goal was to be sure that this boring normal guy made Yachi Hitoka happy. And he did! He did it for almost... three weeks. Yeah, after 18 days since they start dating, Yachi Hitoka skipped practice for the first time. And it was a pretty incredible event, since she has alway been serious about her responsibilities as a manager.

The “Four-first-years-which-were-actually-now-second-years” immediatly noticed her absence, reporting it to the third years and causing a great mess in the gym. Takeda Sensei and Coach Ukai spent a good 20 minutes trying to convinge Kageyama and Hinata that skipping one practice wasn’t such a big deal, that Yachi was fine and that surely had a good reason to skip practice that day. Capitain Ennoshita had to physically stop Tanaka and Nishinoya from “going to look for their adorable kohai in need of her amazing senpais”.

“Stop!” Ennoshita Chikara’s voice roamed through the gym to gain the attention of his teammates. “Chill guys, Yachi messaged me yesterday to ask if she could skip practice today. Apparently she has a date. So please, PLEASE, let’s just start the practice without any further drama.”

Yamaguchi decided to text her quickly: he would have properly talked to her after practice. It was ok to stop and rest sometimes, but she should have told them. Especially because she was ditching them because of a date! Yamaguchi was the closest to Hitoka, and he felt pretty cut out at the moment.

The following day, Yachi Hitoka looked a little bit distracted during lunch. She met the four volleyball players at their spot behind the gym, greeting them with her usual smile, but she didn’t partecipate to the conversation. The boys didn’t push her, and eventually she blurted out what clearly has been bothering her all day.

“Uhm guys...” she started with uncertainty in her voice. The boys reverted their attention to her. “We are friends, right?”

“Of course, Yachi-chan!” Was the immediate reply of the energetic orange head. Nods of agreement from the other three followed his statement.

“A-and you are boys.” Continued the blond manager, a light shade of pink coloring her cheeks.

“Yeah, I am pretty sure about that.” Tsukishima replied with a smirk.

“Uhm, yeah of course... so I was wondering, ehm f-for a boy, how much is sex important in a relationship?”

The question left the four boys totally flustered and embarrassed. Kageyama almost spit his milk, chocking on it. Hinata’s face became redder than Nekoma’s uniform, in contrast to Yamaguchi’s which was now paler than snow. Tsukishima maintained his usual unexpressive face, but his eyes widened for a second, before replying calmly to the girl.

“I mean, it sure would be a pretty important part of a relationship of course. Why are you asking?”

Yachi Hitoka wasn’t feeling very comfortable talking about her love life, especially with four teenage boys equally inexperienced as herself in the matter. But she needed an outsider opinion, and those guys were her closest friends at the moment, so she gained all her courage and kept going.

“Yesterday afternoon I skipped practice, because I had a study date with Yuki.”

“D-did you two...?” Started Yamaguchi. “I mean uhm...” the boy was sweating like crazy.

“Woah nice kill Yachi-kun!” Exclaimed Hinata, earning a punch from a very flustered Kageyama. “Shut the fuck up Dumbass.”

Yachi’s face almost exploded. “NONONONONO, you misunderstood!” She quickly corrected her friend.

“So what was the meaning of your question?” Tsukishima was revealing an outside calm that didn’t reflect at all the strong discomfort he was feeling inside.

“Well, we were at my house and... Yuki-kun kissed me. It wasn’t the first time we kissed of course, but he kind of pushed it a little bit.”

“Oh, you made out.” Commented Yamaguchi. “Did you felt uncomfortable?”

“No, no. It didn’t feel uncomfortable until he tried to... push for more.”

Everybody went deadly silent.

“Did he do something to you?” A very serious and angry Kageyama asked.

“No, I told him to stop, that I wasn’t ready for anything more than making out on my bed with our shirts off and... he kind of got angry and stormed away.” She concluded, avoiding every eye-contact.

“Maybe he just went to... hum you know... jerk off?” Hinata guessed embarrassed, making the group even more uncomfortable than before.

“Eww!” Disgust was Yachi Hitoka’s first reaction, which caused the tension within the group to fade in a collective laugh, before she could continue “Ehm sorry, I mean, I don’t know what was in his mind. I haven’t heard from him since yesterday. I tried to message him, and even call him. He is avoiding me.”

“It is pretty rude of him. Running away and ghost you just because of a boner doesn’t seem to me a normal behaviour.” Commented bluntly Kageyama.

“That’s why I am asking you!” Yachi Hitoka was clearly irritate.

“Every guy is different Yachi-chan.” Hinata smiled at her. “Just look at Bakayama: he so grumpy and scary all the time.” He said flattening his hair in a bad imitation of the setter.

“Boke!” Was the only imput from Kageyama.

“And the Beanpole?” Hinata was going on. “He is so damn annoying and bad at receives.”

“What the fuck do my receives have to do with this?” Tsukishima wasn’t particularly happy with Hinata’s examples.

“And don’t get me started with Yamaguchi!”

“Ok Hinata, I guess you proved your point. You’re all different.” Yachi stopped him before he could insult the next Capitain of Karasuno.

“I guess I’ll have to corner him at school and talk to him face to face: there must be a reason for his behaviour.” She concluded.

“Sounds like a plan. And feel free to share his reasons.” Stated Yamaguci with a deadly glint in his eyes.

“Yeah, for... reserch purpose.” Concluded Tsukishima with a dangerous smirk.

That day, Yachi Hitoka left from practice a little earlier than usual, in order to find her boyfriend and force him to talk with her. Yuki Tachibana was a member of the football team of Karasuno, whose club room was right next to the volleyball gym. Luckily his practice ended at the same time as the volleyball one.

“Yuki-kun!” She called him as soon as he set foot outside the club room, together with some of his teammates.

“Oh. Yachi-san.” He greeted her coldly with a monotone voice.

“I-I would like to talk with you, about yesterday.” She stuttered.

“Why?”

“Because you run away and didn’t talk to me since then.”

“And whose fault is that?” He stated angrily.

“What do you mean?” Yachi felt her own voice tremble.

“I mean that in almost 3 weeks you didn’t even show me your boobs. I can’t keep jerking off in the shower: what’s the point on having a girlfriend if I can’t even fuck her whenever I want to?” He was shouting now, and there were a very thin possibility that the whole football team together with the volleyball one hadn’t hear everything.

“Keep your voice down, people will hear our couple problems!” She started panicking.

“Don’t worry: we won’t be having any more couple problems. You’re really hot, but you’re not the only one in the school. I will find someone else to fuck.” And with that he turned around and walked away.

At least he tried to, because during his embarrassing talk, he didn’t notice the four shadows which were towering behind him. As soon as he turned around his face went straight against Kageyama’s chest.

Yachi Hitoka herself was kind of shocked when she found the bravery to lift her gaze and look at her four friends scarying the poor football player with their deathly glares. The ones which Capitain Ennoshita had instructed them to use only on the court. When Tsukishima opened his mouth, probably to spit some venomous words in Yuki Tachibana’s face, Yachi bursted into laughter.

“It’s ok, guys, seriously. I am fine. I am very happy that he dumped me, or I would have waste other precious time with him. I am not sorry, Tachibana-kun, that I am not your ideal girl, but I hope that you’ll find someone who will mean something for you outside the bed.” She kept smiling while she talked, despite the sting at the back of her eyes.

When finally Tachibana went away, Yachi Hitoka let herself cry for a little bit. Not because she was in love with the guy, they have been together for less than a month and she has known him for barely two months! She was crying because she felt overwhelmed. That boy was only interested in her body, and he basically dumped her because of the lack of sexual life in their relationship in front of a lot of people. That was indeed a shitty situation.

For the four boys, being in the precence of a crying Yachi Hitoka was extremely stressful and difficult, mostly because none of them had any idea of how to deal with a girl crying. Of course, Hinata has seen Natsu crying but se was still 7 years old! It was pretty sure that letting her hold her favourite pluche while watching Frozen wouldn’t have worked with Yachi. Last time that Kageyama saw his older sister cry was at his grandphader’s funeral, and this was definitely a different situation. Tsukishima was still working on dealing with his own emotional sphere and it was clearly too early to deal with someone else’s. Yamaguchi didn’t have a clue about what he could do for Yachi, so he thought ‘What would Sugawara-senpai do?’

Immediately, he rushed to the little sobbing girl, cleaning her face with a tissue and awkwardly patting her head with a smile. Catching up with Yamaguchi’s plan, all the boys thought about what their senpais would have done in that occasion.

‘What would Bokuto-san do?’ Thought Hinata, before engulfing Yachi in a bones-breaking hug.

‘What would Oikawa-senpai do?’ Thought Kageyama. Oikawa senpai would have worked harder and harder, but he didn’t think this could be useful in this situation. Oikawa-senpai would have also done something else actually. “If you want, I can beat him up, and hit him ‘till it breaks.” Declared the setter.

At this point Yachi Hitoka had alreay stopped crying and was actually struggling for not laughing in Kageyama’s face. “Thank you Kageyama-kun, but I don’t think this will be necessary.”

Tsukishima’s mind was completely blank. Who the fuck was someone he saw as a senpai? Akiteru-nii? Nah, they were far too different from each other and they weren’t that close anymore. When finally he understood who his most influential senpai was, he almost threw up. “Chibi-chan.” He started. Kuroo-senpai’s pet names usually angered him, but he thought that Yachi could have liked it. “Don’t worry too much about him, he was an asshole anyway. You have us, and we care about you, we always will. C’mon let’s get you a pork bun.” He stated wrapping her fragile figure up in his oversize black sweater.

“Wow Tsukki, since when have you been like this?” Yamaguchi asked him.

Tsukishima smirked, turned towards them and opened his arms before stating: “What do you mean? I’ve always been this kind! What’s wrong with being nice?”

Yachi Hitoka was the sweetest cinnamon roll of all Karasuno. She was shy, but extremely determined, she was hardworking and passionate, she was incredibly cute. Most importantly: her best friends were the most amazing weirdos of the world, and she loved them.

[mrvltwimagines]

The Secret

PETER PARKER X READER

SUMMARY: You didn’t even know how to process your own emotions over the situation, what would Peter think?

WARNINGS: None really, a lil self doubt. a bit of angst, but ends fluffy!

WORD COUNT: 2.4k

REQUEST PROMPT: Would you do an angsty one, where reader finds out she's pregnant, and is afraid that peter will break up with her, so a she starts to ghost him, or smth like that, but when peter finds out, he's super happy and they make up - I did age him a bit so the characters are graduated out of high school!

You and Peter took great precaution when it came to having sex. Like any other eighteen year olds, you both weren’t ready to be parents. Especially considering it’s almost a nightly occurrence that Peter puts his life on the line for the sake of helping innocent civilians.

You have never, and you never would ask Peter to give up his crime fighting. You saw the peace and joy it brought him, even when he ends up with black eyes or other bruises scattered across his body. He found any pain that was planted on him was worth saving someone else from death or serious trauma. You would never want to take that away from him. In fact, it’s that selflessness that made you fall in love with him.

Even with all he’s been through, he always comes home to your guys’ shared apartment with a small smile and a kiss. The two of you dated throughout all of high school, before he even turned into “spider-man”

You guys have been through so much more than anyone knows, and the instant you two graduated you were quick to find a nice apartment in the middle of New York City to start your adventure off by yourselves. You loved everything about being in a relationship with Peter. While you sometimes wished he was there more often to fall asleep together, or even that he was there more than fifty percent of the time to wake up to, there wasn’t anything substantial that would ever make you want to leave him.

That was until the positive sign showed up on the pregnancy test you had just taken.

Your mind wracked through any and all of the times you and Peter had sex, and you can’t think of any time where you had forgotten to take your birth control. You had a set schedule every day, and taking your prescribed pills at the same time is a constant that you haven’t forgotten ever. 

Panic started to set in as you began to think about what this means. A literal human was going to be growing inside of you, and your boyfriend was a crime fighter that could die any day. You hated to think like that, but it was the truth. It was the icing on top that you both were so young. You were just about to start your first year of college, and Peter was about to start training with Tony at the Stark Tower. Things were falling together, just for this tiny plus sign to cause everything to fall apart.

What if he leaves you for this? You shook your head at the thought. You knew he wasn’t quite ready to have a kid, but he wasn’t heartless. But what if he gets angry at you? What if he asks you to get an abortion? You were stuck. You fully supported those who wanted to get abortions, not everyone is fit to be a mother, or has the right financial situation, or some people just don’t want to push a baby out of their vagina, but you’ve always dreamt of having your own kid. You’ve wanted to practice your own and better parenting techniques that you knew you naturally had from years of watching your parents do the wrong thing. You were conflicted between despising that you got pregnant, and feeling unbelievably grateful and happy that you were. 

You looked at yourself in the mirror. You still held the pregnancy test in your hands as you stared at your own wide eyes, unable to stop yourself from glancing down at your stomach as if you would even be showing yet. You were snapped out of your thoughts when you heard the front door open and Peter’s signature greeting yelled out to you. You quickly threw the pregnancy test in your makeup bag, zipping it up, and heading out of the bathroom to the kitchen where Peter was pouring himself a glass of water.

When he saw you, a smile popped on his face, and for a split second your mind was at ease. You loved Peter, no doubt about that, but you couldn’t help but wonder if he’ll still love you after this. You can’t help but wonder if the longer you wait to tell him, the more angry and upset he’ll get with you.

“Hello, love. How was your day?” he asks as he walks towards you, giving you a quick kiss. You swayed a bit and licked your lips that had become dry by the question, telling him your day was fine and that you hadn’t done anything that crazy. You technically weren’t lying. 

“How about you? Anything exciting? Are you going out tonight or are you staying home with me?” You ask, trying to turn the conversation away from yourself.

He went on for a bit, talking about what him and Stark had discussed about him starting to train with the Avengers. The thought of him becoming an even bigger, actual superhero freaked you out a bit. You knew the Avengers were constantly traveling, fighting larger scales of crime that terrorize huge cities versus the usual small crimes that Peter fights by himself locally. The fact that you were pregnant popped into your mind and you could feel yourself grow nauseous. He wouldn’t want this. Not when his life was picking up so much, there’s no way he would want a kid right now.

So you stayed quiet. Each day you woke up, you couldn’t tell whether you felt sick because of the pregnancy or because of this huge lie you were hiding from Peter, but either way, you hated this feeling.

On the fourth day of managing to keep conversation short without disturbing the peace between you and Peter, you had a doctors appointment to confirm whether you were actually pregnant. You didn’t doubt that you were, even though it was early on, you could feel it deep in your body that things were changing.

By the end of the appointment you felt numb. You were indeed pregnant, and hearing it come from a doctor with a “congratulations” after the announcement, you felt everything hit you. You were pregnant. At eighteen. You were pregnant and Peter didn’t know. You were pregnant and sad about it because you didn’t know where to go from here.

What do you do? Is it time to tell Peter? You cursed at yourself when you thought about leaving him just to spare him the pain and awkwardness of telling you that he wasn’t ready and that he didn’t want a kid. You didn’t realize you had started crying until you started to tune in on the looks people were giving you while you walked home. You probably looked crazy, but that was the least of your worries at the moment. 

You made a plan in your head to try and stray away from Peter. You knew it would be hard considering you live together, but he was gone a lot of nights and you knew it would be easier to leave him if necessary if he’s gotten used to functioning without you in every situation.

You thought you had been discreet about slowly pushing yourself away from him. Days went on where you would still hold conversation with him, but didn’t feel it was necessary to be in the same room with him all the time anymore. You didn’t cuddle close to him when you felt him get into bed, and most of the time he didn’t bother to pull you any closer to him. You were breaking your own heart, but it was for the better.

“Alright, are you going to tell me whats going on with you?” the question threw you off as you set a plate with dinner on it in front of Peter before turning back to leave the room.  

“What?” You knew exactly what he meant. If anything you felt a bit stupid trying to play it off.

“You’ve been distant. Did i do something to upset you? Because i promise i’m sorry for anything that might have. I’ve been wracking my brain but i can’t think of anything,” he frowned, gesturing with his hands indicating that he was lost in the entire situation. 

You dragged your teeth against your lip, the entire conversation making you uncomfortable. You had spent days planning everything out in your head, and you’ve thought about how to answer questions just like these, but right now all you want to yell out is that you were pregnant. You didn’t want to hide it anymore, but your mouth wouldn’t physically move for you to say the words. You knew that settling with a shrug of your shoulders wouldn’t be a good enough answer for him, and by the deep sigh that he let out while dropping his head a little to look down at his feet, you could tell he didn’t like that. As quickly as he did that, he began to stand up and walk towards you. Your heart rate picked up, but was lessened at the feeling of his arms wrapping around you. You habitually laid your head on his shoulder, breathing in his scent and calming your nerves a bit. 

“I have something big to tell you, but i don’t know how you’ll react,” you whispered out. His hands started to slowly rub along your back, and he pulled away a bit to look down at you. His eyes were soft, and his touch was even softer as he moved his hands to each of your arms to hold you steady. 

“You know you can tell me anything,” he mumbled out while trying to keep eye contact with you. The second tears started to well up in your eyes, you were quick to avoid his eyes. You didn’t want to cry. You cursed yourself in your head. You had imagined the day you would announce your pregnancy to him so many times, but in those situations you were older and further in life and it would be a purely ecstatic moment. This was anything but that.

“I’m-” you paused, shaking your head a bit before looking back at him. You could tell he was growing frantic at seeing you stumble over your words by the crease in his forehead. You wanted to comfort him and tell him nothing was wrong, but until you got your words out and let him know, you couldn’t guarantee that nothing was actually wrong.

“I’m pregnant,” you squeaked out. You clamped your eyes shut for a split second before daring to look at his face. His hands tightened on your arms for a second before releasing you all together while he stood taller. His eyes grew wide and his mouth didn’t budge much, not giving you a definite answer on how he might be feeling. His hand moved up to his mouth, pinching his lip before nervously running it through his hair.

“And you’re positive?” he manages to ask. You felt your heart break a little at the question. You knew that you weren’t going to receive an extremely happy reaction, but you could feel both your self doubt and his doubt seeping into your body.

“Yeah, i went to the doctor about a week ago,” you mumbled out. This time you couldn’t stop the few tears that escaped from your eyes, turning your head to look anywhere but him while waiting for him to say something else. 

“hey,” his voice was gentle, but you still couldn’t get yourself to look at him. He could still very easily say anything but what you want to hear. He could be thinking of his escape plan and still sound like the sweetest person to exist.

“I think it’s great, y/n!” he continues. Your eyes grew wide as you finally pried them from the wall and back towards him. A gleaming smile covered his face, his eyes lighting up just as much, “If i know you, i know why you waited to tell me this news, but i can reassure you that i’m so fucking happy.”

This time your tears fell, but a smile began to form on your own face. You felt like an entire persons body weight had been lifted from your body. His hands found your own and pulled you closer to him, placing your arms to wrap around his neck. 

“I know we’re young and have so many things going on, but i can guarantee that we’ll be great parents. I can easily talk to Stark and he’ll be more lenient with me. I know you have college, but you can still do that while pregnant. Things will be fine, y/n. I need you to know that. I need you to know that i’m not going anywhere and that i’m ready to do this with you,” his words sent waves of comfort through your entire body, the stress of holding the secret in began to dissipate and excitement was starting to take over.

“You mean it?” you ask, still in disbelief that the secret was out and how confident and accepting Peter was being towards being told that he’s going to be a dad.

“Of course i mean it,” he chuckles. He leant down a bit to place a kiss on your lips, pulling you in even tighter, “We’re going to be parents, y/n! That’s crazy! But a good kind of crazy! You’re going to be such a good mom, and i’m going to be a dad!” he exclaims. A smile still covered his face and prompted your own to grow even wider. 

“You’re going to be the best dad, Peter. i’m so sorry for doubting everything and hesitating to tell you. I was just scared, this is huge!” 

“This is huge, but we’ll be fine! You have nothing to worry about anymore, i will be here with you for everything, alright? We’ll get through this and by the end of it we’ll have our own child. I love you,” he quips back. You nodded at his words, pulling him in for one last tight hug before separating yourself. 

The secret was out, and your world didn’t implode. You felt guilty over keeping it to yourself for the few weeks that you did, but now you knew things were going to be just fine. You had the love of your life still by your side, and now you could enjoy your pregnancy knowing things would be alright. You felt like you could breathe again, and your mind could finally wander to the exciting things that being pregnant brought like putting together a nursery and shopping for the baby. 

You couldn’t be more grateful that you ended up with someone like Peter. You knew the first day that you met him in freshman year that you two were meant to be, and this experience definitely solidified that belief.

[muse-oleum]

Quiet

Kingsman - Harry Hart x reader

Prompt #54: “You’d better be quiet or everyone’s going to know what a naughty little thing you are.”*

Damn you guys are at it in those smutty requests, gosh. I’ve got four more on the way! This is the classic office/boss/secretary smut piece, but Kingsman style. 

* changed the word “slut” to “thing” just cuz i think it fits HH better

Summary: You’re called up to Harry Hart’s office for an entirely professional matter.

Word count: 1.5k

Warnings: absolute sinful smut (i repeat: this is super NSFW do not read if you’re underage and/or uncomfortable!!)

Here’s what i listened to writing this.

(obviously i had to pick that gif because holsters are a man’s garters and they’re sexey)

Agent Galahad was stressed. 

A stressed Galahad was a dangerous Galahad. A dangerous Galahad was, as Eggsy stoically put it one day when said agent had spent a little too long staring at you, was a horny Galahad. 

And agent Galahad had the bad habit of getting just what he wanted. 

And right now, what he wanted was you. As one of the techies, you worked mostly below grounds, joining Merlin in monitoring recruits and agents alike in the hope you’d prevent something plainly dumb from happening. 

Most people would say that you were just about pretty, but by God, how he wanted you. He’d nurtured a viciously powerful craving for you for months - over a year in fact. A year of flirting, suggestive smiles across debrief rooms, and heated touches in the hallways. 

A year of intense slow burn and near misses, where your bathroom encounters were interrupted by a certain Scot who had eyes everywhere. 

He was stressed and he had enough. His office was one room in which Merlin didn’t have mechanical eyes salaciously plugged into every corner. 

Kingsman agents were not supposed to have trysts, much less lasting ones, but he didn’t care. 

Your phone pinged as you were going over some files in need of your attention. Come to my office. Got a file I need you to look over. You smiled.

It appeared that files weren’t the only thing in need of your attention. 

Your heels clicked against the marble floor of the Kingsman mansion as you made your way to Harry’s office. You knocked on the door tentatively, fully aware of the longing look you received from the man sat at the desk opposite you. 

Harry took in your appearance, his eyes roaming over your long, shapely legs, up to the knee length pencil skirt you wore. It hugged in your hips, outlining every curve he was so desperate to taste. 

“I have a mission coming up. I’ll be gone several weeks.”

His eyes had darkened, his pupils dilating almost immediately as he saw you enter the room fully, closing the door behind you. 

“The file?”

Your arched eyebrow was staring right back at him, daring him to even pretend that there was any file to begin with. 

He stood up, edging his way towards you. Backing you up against the door, he gently took the clipboard you still clutched against your chest, setting it aside. 

“There isn’t any file,” he said in a low voice, his hand skimming the hem of your skirt, thumbs brushing the inside of your thigh. Your breath hitched. His hand found the band of your garter. “I needed you,” he breathed against your lips, his eyes never leaving yours. Nimble fingers made quick work of the clip, exposing more creamy skin to his caresses. 

He pressed you up against the wall beside the door, his other hand by the side of your head. You forgot everything as he crashed his lips on yours, a loud moan escaping you. You felt his hands edge closer and closer to your core, fingers already toying with the lace of your panties. 

As he ended the kiss, attempting to catch his breath, you took the opportunity to stall the progress of his hand. He was no stranger to your tricks. That and Merlin’s continued interrupting was what had him practically prostate with lust right now. Your firm grip on his wrist discouraged him from trying to reach the object of his desire… until he caught your eye. 

It was very suggestive glance, that one, and it set his loins on fire. You bit your lips as you glanced down to where his hand disappeared under your skirt, signifying what you wanted. 

And what you wanted was his mouth working on you, right here, right now.

Many would have said that Harry Hart was a controlling man, who liked to be in charge. But if his woman wanted him to relieve that particular ache that he had created, there was no stopping him doing just as she wished. 

You turned the key in the lock, arresting his gaze momentarily on your fingers. 

What he wanted these fingers to do to him was positively sinful. But all things in good time, he was reminded when your hips rolled up against the wall and you drew in a sharp breath. He noticed your nipples straining against the fabric of your blouse, begging for his attention. 

In his slow descent towards your navel, Harry’s hand dropped to caress the soft skin behind your knee. He grew frustrated with the clasps of your garters, growling as his shaking fingers struggled with pulling your tights down. One by one he took off your heels, dropping them unceremoniously on the ground. With your height newly reduced, your midriff was now directly in front of his face. You could feel his hot breath through the fabric of your skirt. His hands ascended back up your body, settling one on your hips and the other full on your breast. His Kingsman ringlet caught against the hard press of your nipple, causing you to whimper. 

Harry pushed your skirt back up all the way to your hips, his lips trailing a blaze of kisses on your inner thigh. HIs thumb went to caress your nub, rubbing against the material of your panties. Pressure was steadily building inside of you. You felt his mouth press against your core, sucking and pulling on you. You couldn’t control the moans of pleasure and the undulating of your hips into his hand. 

Grabbing hold of your leg, Harry looked up at you, hair messed up and cheeks red. “Careful, darling,” he said, his thumb running over your nipple, “you’d better be quiet or everyone’s going to know what a naughty little thing you are.” 

That alone sent you spiralling down in pleasure, the ministrations of his fingers and lips putting every nerve in your body into high alert. When he was finished with you, Harry’s desire was almost painful. He tugged you down harshly, catching you before you hit the floor, still panting out your pleasure. 

Immediately, his lips found yours, stifling his own moans as you pressed against him. 

“Harry…” he bit your neck, “Harry,” he moaned loudly as your hand plunged into his pants. His whole being was stretched towards you, signifying his lust in every manner his body knew how. “I need you now.”

“Not before I’ve seen you,” he growled, one hand kneading your bottom to keep you rocking into him, the other tugging at each button on your blouse, uncovering the lacy purple bra you were wearing.

It was the same color as those lovely panties he’d so enthusiastically destroyed minutes ago. 

Not wasting any time, Harry dove in, his mouth and hands divesting you of your blouse and bra, leaving you exposed to his eyes. 

The hungry shine of his pupils made you go weak at the knees, sinking more of your weight onto him. 

Cupping your right breast, he suckled and pulled on your nipple, enjoying the feel of such sensitive skin demanding more of him. He’d always thought one of the sexiest things about a woman’s figure was her bosom, not least because it was one of the only visible indication of a woman’s desire. And yours were perfect indeed, designed to challenge every ounce of self-control he still possessed. 

Ignoring his earlier comment, you couldn’t control your moans and whimpers. Finally, after he had brought you back up from your first release, Harry laid you down on the floor underneath him, all but moaning shamelessly as his hips crashed repeatedly against yours.

You smirked. You had him where you wanted him. 

Your hand reached down, grabbing hold of his length. He bucked at that, biting his lips to avoid shouting your name. He could feel every touch of your fingers on his straining member, every caress, and when you smiled that wicked smile up at him, he simply knew he had to be inside of you. 

One look from you told him you’d reached the end of your patience. Without delay, Harry’s hand found your core once more, basking in your warmth as he slipped inside you. The sensation - one both of you had been craving for months - was heart-stopping. You felt more than heard Harry’s deep moan, adjusting to the feeling of him inside of you. 

Encouraging him to begin, you pressed up against his hips, your hands snaking around his waist to secure yourself to him. He began to rock against you, drawing longer whimpers out of you every time he thrust back. His hands were busy with attacking your breasts, feeling your softness just as he shared your warmth down where your bodies were joined. He was enticed by the pretty blush which had settled on your chest; by the vision you presented with your tightly shut eyes and lips tightly sealed. 

As pleasure overcame him, he swore the next time, he’d make love to you somewhere where, preferably, he could hear just how much you enjoyed his attention. 

If you’re still here and not blushing, congratulations, you have joined the HH smut club. Comment down below if you want to be added to the HH taglist! That way, you don’t miss anything ;)

Taglist: @justawriterinprogress; @tonystrksslut; @emilyyblackkk; the-sea-belt;

[just-an-anxious-mess]

Double Standards (Part 2)

Part 1

Trigger Warning: Mentions of toxic parents, transphobia, mentions of past abuse, dead naming, wrong pronoun usage, low self esteem, unhealthy coping mechanisms, ableism, seasonal depression, thoughts of suicide and self harm. The Remus angst train will not be stopping.

They sat in their room trying to ignore their spiralling thoughts. They should have known better than to slip up and make a comment about their gender identity at dinner.

They'd known it wouldn't go down well and yet they'd still said something. Remus blamed it on their impulsivity and desire to feel validated for once.

Things had started off ok at first. They'd been forced out shopping with their mother and had come across another enby in the wild which had been great. They'd had a discussion about preferred pronouns while their mum and Roman had been in earshot.

Roman had of course been a complete ass the whole time round the shops and Remus was still furious about the leaves incident but they managed to hold themselves back from doing anything rash like breaking his nose which they felt was incredibly nice of them.

The individual at the checkout had given Remus a sudden boost in confidence and rekindled their motivation to correct their parents when they slipped up.

With this new energy they corrected their mother and the three of them (Remus, Roman and their mother) also ended up having a conversation about the LGBTQ+ on the journey home.

All in all things were going good and when they got home they decided to take the cashiers words to heart.

They had told Remus that their 5 year old cousin respected their pronouns and name more than their parents and so with this knowledge in mind Remus decided to talk to Patton.

"Hey Patton? My name is Remus now and instead of saying she or her when talking about me, I'd prefer you to use They and Them."

Patton had looked up at them with barely a moments hesitation and replied "Ok Remus."

Remus felt like their heart was going to burst at Pattons words and they couldn't fight the enormous smile that spread across their lips, especially as Patton continued to use Remus instead of their deadname.

Then dinner happened.

Everyone was sitting around the table as usual when Remus's mum used their deadname when speaking to them. Remus sighed but felt a little reluctant to correct her in front of their father, unsure if his infamous temper would explode at Remus 'backchatting' their mum.

Patton of course spoke up then, slipping up slightly thanks to hearing the deadname being used.

"It's Remus."

Remus was surprised when Roman spoke up on their behalf and was immediately suspicious, frowning slightly at his sudden jump to their defence.

"I call you Remus but mummy calls you [Deadname}" Patton stated, looking directly at their mother.

"That's because I named her after a friend of mines younger sister who died while I was pregnant with her."

Remus winced slightly, already having heard this story many times before. They avoided eye contact with their mother as she continued.

"The names I used to name her carry significant meaning to me so if I forget to call her Remus it's because of that. My friends sister was only 13 when she died and I swore to name you after her in her memory."

Remus just managed to stop from sliding down in their seat, guilt and shame suddenly weighing heavily on them as they thought on their mothers words.

Maybe they should have chosen something closer to their mothers friends sisters name? Maybe then there wouldn't have been as much issue with the whole nonbinary thing?

"I don't even know why you changed your name to Remus anyway? Names shouldn't define your gender. You didn't have to change your name, besides they're pretty much the same anyway."

Remus stared at Roman in shock and horror as they registered his words and felt sick as their mother made a noise of agreement and everyone seemed to just carry on with dinner as if nothing had happened.

When dinner ended Remus made a beeline straight to their room where they proceeded to think and overthink everything that had just happened.

All the stuff their family said weighed on them heavily to the point where they stared off into space for a bit as a horrifying thought crossed their mind.

What if they were faking all this? What if they weren't really nonbinary and it was just all a ploy for attention?

Thoughts of a similar nature bounced around their head, driving them mad with panic and making them rethink everything.

Stressed and in disarray Remus paced up and down, shaking their hands in a way similar to how they usually stimmed.

Eventually they sat down at their computer and tried to distract their buzzing mind with YouTube or music. It didn't have much of an effect.

Eventually they contacted Logan and let him know what had happened. As usual he was logical and spoke sense, even when Remus wasn't in a state to really register it.

His words somewhat reassured Remus. For now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Still feeling down from what had happened a couple days previously Remus didn't make as much of an effort to correct Patton or Roman anymore but sometimes their brothers would remember on their own.

Remus spent a lot of time trying to figure out why their parents seemed to have such an issue with their identity but there wasn't really anything they could come up with except their parents were just stuck in the way they'd been brought up.

Things eventually reached boiling point at dinner a few nights later.

Dinner always seemed to be the catalyst for shit hitting the fan. It was probably because that was the only time the entire family was present in the same room for extended periods of time.

It all started with Roman doing an impression of Stitch. It wasn't terrible but it was mildly annoying to Remus's ears. They'd rather eat dinner in peace.

"are you doing a Nelson Mandela impression?" Their mother asked, grinning like she'd made a hilarious joke.

"What? It's Stitch from Lilo and Stitch." Roman and Remus said at the same time, sharing confused looks which became exasperated as their mother continued.

"It sounds exactly like Nelson Mandela, you racist." She laughed, loud and grating on Remus's ears as she nudged their father who was also grinning.

Roman glared at the two of them and tried to again reiterate that it was an impression of Stitch.

"You're a racist, it's exactly the same as Nelson Mandela's voice." their father said, speaking over Roman which was a sure fire way to set off his infamous temper.

"I'm not racist! I don't even know what he sounds like, I was just doing an impression of a cartoon character. Not knowing that my Stitch impression sounds like..."

"That's how racism starts, ignorance!" both their parents were laughing now and Remus wanted nothing more than to shout for them to stop but they kept their mouth shut, something Roman had never learnt to do as he once again spoke up.

"Out of everyone here, you guys are the most racist. You continuously use outdated terms and words that are considered offensive in our current time period."

"Oh we're racist are we?"

"Yes! You're the least PC people in our whole family."

Their mother scoffed while their father was still grinning and shaking his head in disbelief at Romans words.

"The whole family? Even grandad?"

"Yes actually, at least grandad doesn't say anything homophobic or too racist in front of us."

"Actually I think it's the fact that you pretend to be better than him but you're on the same level when it comes to outdated and offensive comments and words."

For once Remus and Roman were working together to try and stop their parents from being as bigoted and offensive.

Perhaps it was the fact they were actually working together or maybe it was just because they had no response, the dining room fell into a slightly uncomfortable silence.

After a few moments of silence their mother spoke up once again, eyes locked onto Remus.

"are you going to change your middle name too?"

"wha..?" Remus was completely caught off guard by the question.

"Are you going to change the middle name? I mean it has sentimental meaning and your nan was so happy when i told her I was using her middle name for yours. You were her first grandchild. so are you going to change it?"

Remus struggled to come up with a response, feeling like they were being interrogated and put on the spot.

Once again Roman came to their defence.

"You can't pressure someone into going by a name they don't identify with by telling them it has meaning to you. It has meaning to you but it's not how they identify and it's selfish to expect them to stick with it just because of your feelings about the name."

"I named her after my friends little sister who died!"

"Yes, we know, you keep saying but it's still not fair to Remus to basically emotionally blackmail them into sticking with a name they don't identify with."

Remus watched their mother and brother in shock, a warm feeling in their chest at the fact Roman was sticking up for them in such a way.

The warm feeling was immediately replaced by dread as their father spoke up, his grin still in place but it quickly disappeared.

"I'll say whatever the fuck I want to. If you don't like it then you can fuck off. It's my fucking house and I'll fucking say what I fucking want to. And Remus is a stupid fucking name. You're [Deadname]. Don't like it? Then move out!"

With each word their father said the room grew more and more tense and Remus felt their eyes prickling as the dread was replaced with hurt at the knowledge their parents would clearly never accept them as they truly were.

They remained silent, staring down at their plate, trying to ignore the few tears starting to trail down their face.

They focused on shovelling food into their mouth, anticipating the end of dinner when they could make a bid for freedom to their room and breakdown in privacy.

As subtly as they could Remus wiped their eyes, determined not to let either of their parents see just how much their words had effected them. Plus Remus didn't want to give their father an excuse to have a go at them for being weak/overreacting.

Eventually both parents left the table and Roman and Remus were alone in the dining room with the task of clearing up.

Roman was still furious at the conversation during dinner and kept trying to talk to Remus about it but Remus was very aware of their mother being in the other room and the fact Roman tended to get louder when talking about something he was passionate about so they shushed him and made a point of reminding him of where they were.

Eventually Remus was able to escape back to their room and that's when they fully allowed their walls to crumble.

The reality of what the disastrous dinner conversation meant hit them full force and for the first time in a while old urges began to plague their mind.

They collapsed into their computer chair and sobbed silently into their hands, a skill they'd had to learn out of necessity many years ago due to various things.

The little voice in their head they thought they'd finally managed to silence began whispering and Remus clenched their hands into fists in their hair, trying their best to ignore it as it seemed to get louder.

The temptation to give in was overwhelming as the fact they could never safely be their true self around their parents began to really sink in. Then a small spark of hope hit them as they remembered someone who had always been supporting them and fighting their corner, no matter what.

Logan.

In a last ditch effort to rid themself of the old self destructive urges they sent Logan a message and filled him in on how dinner had gone.

It didn't take long for Logan to respond with an optimistic message about getting them out of there as soon as possible and reassuring Remus that their name was just as beautiful as their last and that their father was being an asshole.

Remus felt slightly better but their thoughts were still spiralling and they couldn't ignore the awful feeling welling up inside them as a question filled their mind that they had no answer to.

Why can't they accept me?

They sent Logan this question, still wiping tears from their face as they waited for his response.

Logan replied and Remus scowled, ignoring the fresh tears that spilled down their face as they told Logan that he couldn't promise that they would accept them eventually, that's not how life works.

Logan tried to bring up the fact that Remus's parents had accepted their sexuality but Remus scoffed and pointed out that the real reason their parents had 'accepted' their sexuality is because they were with Logan so for all intents and purposes they could kid themselves that Remus was straight as they were with a guy.

Logan told them that they'd do anything and everything they could in the future to use Remus's name around them as much as possible until they couldn't help but use it themselves.

Remus didn't think that would work but didn't say that, instead choosing not to reply as they couldn't think of anything else to say. Instead they began blasting music at full volume to try and drown out their thoughts.

They lost themself in their music and even began drawing, an old coping mechanism they rarely used anymore but it was a much healthier one than the one they were trying their hardest to ignore.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next few days seemed to pass without much incident, the explosive dinner being forgotten and ignored by everyone as if it never happened.

Of course it was all Remus could think of as they went through the motions of everyday life, wincing every time Patton called them Remus instead of getting the warm feeling of validation because they were terrified their father might get angry again at the reminder.

There was a moment when Remus was trying to escape to their room and their father wanted them to come back downstairs and so he shouted "Oi! Woman!"

Remus felt a wave of revulsion wash through them and grit their teeth to fight down the urge to scream, instead standing at the top of the stairs and answering like nothing was wrong.

As time passed the intrusive thoughts seemed to increase in regularity, every trip downstairs they had thoughts of throwing themselves down them, washing their hands they held their hands under the hot tap as long as they were able and sometimes out of nowhere the urge to scratch at their skin until it bled would overwhelm them.

They managed to fight through these situations by reminding themselves of Logan and their friends but there were a few close calls where they only just kept themselves from doing anything.

It didn't help that it was starting to get closer to the time of year Remus dreaded most.

Christmas.

They loved winter but Christmas and all the things that came with it was a nightmare.

It was a time they couldn't help but associate with awful times.

So many years they'd spent in their room crying over some sort of family crisis or just generally feeling unwanted and they came to hate it more and more as the years went by.

This year would probably be just as bad as ever as things had really took a downturn this year.

Losing people was never easy but Remus seemed to lose everyone around this time so there were various dates they dreaded in November and December.

It was also the time of year their mental health always plummeted and intrusive thoughts of times when they'd almost succeeded with something drastic were plentiful.

They didn't remember the exact dates of those moments but they didn't need to.

Luckily they had Logan and Virgil and Janus to fall back on. Without them Remus dreaded to think what might have happened.

They were in a better place mentally now than they had been and they had several coping mechanisms in place that were relatively healthy.

Nothing particularly big happened in the next week or so but there were a few small instances  which did start to add up, causing Remus's stress levels to reach almost breaking point.

They felt frustrated and ashamed that such tiny things could effect them so much and though they tried their best to ignore the minor inconveniences they started to pile up.

It started with a simple thing. Remus's parents suddenly started to buy a different brand of soft drink than usual due to price which was all well and good but Remus was used to the other one, the cheaper one tasted Wrong and Different and they felt slightly on edge.

The next thing was bigger and pissed Remus off a considerable amount. Their mother was already wrapping things for Christmas for their two youngest brothers and she had as always gone overboard with three black sacks full of wrapped gifts which she then handed to Remus.

"Wait what?" Remus asked, having zoned out midway through the conversation and making their mother huff in annoyance.

"I said go put these in your room somewhere Patton won't find them."

"But I don't have anywhere to put them!" Remus exclaimed indignantly and frowned as their mother raised her voice angrily.

"Where else do you suggest they be put? There's no room in mine and your dads room, Romans room also has no room and they can't stay down here. Just clear up some of the junk in your room and you'll have plenty of room."

Remus growled and muttered under their breath and reluctantly dragged the bags up to their room where they turned in circles in a frustrated moment of panic as they struggled to figure out where they could put them.

Despite what their mother had said they didn't actually have much room and while their room wasn't spotless it wasn't a complete mess like both parents liked to claim, it was just a very lived in space.

Eventually Remus ended up shoving the bags down the end of their bed and decided that if Patton saw them when he did his usual thing of bursting into their room then it wasn't their fault.

Still the bags at the end of their bed made them feel restless, the unfamiliar objects invading what they had considered their safe space but even without the bags of presents Remus was struggling to consider their room their safe place with each passing day.

The next change was a very large one. Despite only having it for two years Remus's parents had decided to get a new couch which had thrown Remus into a spiral of thoughts, none of them good. The different couch was larger than their previous ones and meant that when it came time to put the tree up there wouldn't be room where they used to put it, yay another change!

It would have to be put in front of the living room window where it would be very easy for Patton to bump into it and smash the glass decorations.

This thought sent Remus down a dark path of imagining laying in the wreckage of broken glass.

They shook this off and tried their best to stay as together as possible.

This worked slightly until the day the new sofa arrived.

Everything was hectic and there was lots of shouting from both parents which resulted in Remus falling back on an old coping mechanism.

To avoid breaking down in front of either parent Remus shut off their emotions. Or at least enough of them so they didn't end up crying.

The issue with this particular coping mechanism was Remus found it difficult to go back to 'normal' so to speak.

They were sort of glad that they were still able to block their emotions when their help was demanded with the tree.

The various decorations their mother had collected over the years usually would cause a torrent of various emotions but they remained rather unaffected through the whole process.

The snide comments and little digs barely registered as they monotonously helped decorate the tree.

The final decoration to be placed on the tree was a new one as it was every year due to family tradition. This year however it was a tribute to their mothers mum who'd died a few months back.

Their mum was instantly in floods of tears and Roman placed a hand on her shoulder, looking close to tears himself.

Remus watched as the decoration was placed on a branch and both clung to each other, teary eyed and sniffing.

Remus blinked a few times to try and escape the numb state they'd managed to get themself in but it was no use.

Their father in a rare moment of understanding gave them a small nudge and then lifted their hand and placed it on their mums shoulder.

They left their hand there for a few seconds before patting awkwardly, completely out of their depth right now. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next few days they found themselves incapable of getting out of bed. They were tired all the time and would drift in and out of sleep throughout the day, only getting up to do housework.

Their thoughts were full of worst case scenario and thoughts of what they'd do if they didn't have Logan and Virgil and Janus.

None of them were good and all their thoughts seemed to have become twisted and dark.

It was reaching a point where even talking to their friends and Logan was becoming difficult.

They knew that isolating themself from such supportive individuals was a bad idea but they couldn't seem to stop. There were no brakes on the self destruct train.

They were managing to refrain from various things but as the month of December progressed they knew it would only get harder.

Tag List under the cut:

General tag list: @mcfreakin-childproof-caps @amethystdarkwolf @patchworkofstars @kitkat-doodles @unikornavenger @dolphin-squirrel @sympathetic-deceit-trash @starryfirefliesbloggo @cakercanart @neonb-fly @kaymischief25 @punsterterry @aprilthevene @theoddkidnextdoor @fuckingemoace @i-sold-my-soul-to-thefandom @im-so-infinitesimal @sea-blue-child @thecatchat @iris-sanders-athena @saphael-malec102 @smedenn @corkeecoderyt @sopi-montezzz @illogicaldeath @deadpanstar @theanxiousfander @lesliealiceinwonderland @wicked-universe @anxious-is-the-name @a-black-pegasus @erlenmeyertrashofsandersides @ace-the-weekly-doodler @luarpice @novusavis @the-life-ofa-troubled-ace @heck-im-lost @nerdy-as-heck @pansexual-cat @ravens-rambling @echomist13 @myownhappilyeverafter @im-a-sexy-mouse @xx-fandom-potato-xx @bisexualellaphants @redundant-statements-for-400 @noahlovescoffee @akl1 @love-ya-to-the-moon @misty2-0 @cdragontogacotar @shad-ster @chemicallyimbalancedromance @ivescottthis @flag-spinning-demiboy @moonstonefox12 @stupidfangirl107 @teegankitty @stormastrote @skylerskywing @oonagh-una @ab-artist @lydialightwood-bane @remythehero @amberrose80q3 @official-spookifers-child @amazonprimebox

[ruzek-halstead]

plus one

part three

pairing: jay halstead x hailey upton

hailey is invited to her exes wedding and there is no way in hell she’s showing up solo. luckily, jay is eager to show off how successful he’s become. unfortunately, hailey spitefully tells everyone he’s her boyfriend, so there’s that.

"i mean, he’s clearly a dumbass if he invited you and just ‘forgot’ about your temper.”

(alternate universe/fake relationship bc i’m a sucker for these)

part one || part two || masterlist

warnings: swearing, fluffery, hailey upton’s badassery

all it takes is one look at luke's face and jay's spine straightens and he immediately flinches away from hailey's touch.

this isn't what he wants. it is what he wants; he wants to kiss her and he's wanted that for as long as he can remember, but not like this. not at her ex-boyfriend's wedding, while the said ex-boyfriend glares daggers.

jay sighs when he sees the flash of hurt in her eyes and his chest constricts. it was almost like he could feel the physical pain he was causing her and it sucked.

"i—i should get another drink," she stammers, doing her best to avoid his eyes.

hailey turns on her heels and makes a beeline for the bar. she bumps into adam on her way, but hardly even notices.

"what the hell?" adam frowns, when he reaches jay. "did luke do something again? i swear to g—"

jay shakes his head. "no, it was me."

"dude, what?" adam exclaims, his eyes mirroring his disappointment. "she looked really upset."

jay rubs a hand over his face and drops back into his chair. "fuck. i fucked it all up."

"what did you do?" adam asks curiously.

"i think we had a moment," jay mutters, his hands still covering his face. "and i don't know, she looked at me and i think she wanted me to kiss her. and it felt right," he can't stop talking now that he's started. "but then i saw luke right behind her and he looked pissed and i just couldn't."

adam shakes his head, snickering. "how does he manage to ruin everyone else's day on what's supposed to be the happiest day of his life?"

"and it's his wedding, right?" jay adds nervously; his eyes are searching for hailey but he can't spot her. "i shouldn't do anything dickish? like go for his ex?"

adam smirks, clapping jay on the back. "bro, fuck that. i swear, if you don't get your shit together and go find her right now, i'm going to punch you in the throat."

jay's eyes widen slightly. "dude, it's his wedding day."

"exactly, his wedding. which means he married someone else and he shouldn't be doing that unless he's completely over hailey," adam explains, shooting luke a nasty side eye. "and hailey is not just his ex, she's so much more than that, you know that. she's our best friend and she deserves happiness more than anyone i've ever known."

jay cracks a smile, "damn, ruzek. keep talking like that and i'm going to shed a tear."

adam rolls his eyes. "shut up and go find hailey, or else i actually will punch you in the throat."

"couldn't even if you tr—" jay is not proud of the violent flinch he displays as adam's fist nears his face, and how he nearly trips over his own feet trying to get away. he sees adam laugh and stop to talk to another member of their graduating class.

jay is halfway to the bar, but he still doesn't spot hailey. not that it matters because he is quickly intercepted by the groom.

"oh, for the love of god," jay mutters. "do you not have guests to greet or something?"

luke smirks at him. "all in due time, jay."

"what the hell does that even mean?" jay replies, looking around for any reinforcements; unfortunately, no one is available. "also, where's your wife? shouldn't you be with her?"

luke frowns slightly. "i have the rest of my life to be with her."

"oh, what a great attitude to have a happy marriage. freaking fantastic," jay mumbles sarcastically. "anyway, i was just on my way to the bar, so if you don't mind…"

"i do mind, actually," luke replies and jay considers the multiple ways he can incapacitate him without getting in trouble with the law. "i'm just having trouble understand how you and hailey got together."

jay tried to hold his tongue for the sake that it's his wedding, but he can't any longer; the sass has been unleashed. "are you having trouble comprehending the fact that she got over your dumb ass?"

however, luke doesn't seem phased. "no jay, you're understanding this wrong," he is still smirking and jay has never wanted to hit someone so much in his life. "trust me, i'm looking out for you. i don't think you're understanding what a piece of work hailey is."

jay's eyes narrow, because he can't understand if luke is just that stupid or wants to earn a black eye on his wedding day. "are you forgetting that i've been friends for hailey for years? like i truly don't understand what you're trying to do right now."

"being her friend is not the same as being in a committed relationship," luke remarks and his smirk suddenly drops. "although, i'm not sure how much you would know about that. you were a regular in the friend zone."

jay clenches his teeth together so he can think of an appropriate response and get the hell out of luke's presence. "thanks so much for your concern, but i'm fine. and hailey's happy, which is more than she can say for the time she spent with you. so please, go find your wife and treat her better than you did hailey."

hailey cannot get out of there fast enough. the abrupt change in jay's face and body language hit her straight in the chest and she can't even breathe. she hadn't thought she was reading the mood wrong, but apparently, she was way off. jay looked uncomfortable, and she is just absolutely mortified.

"i—i should get another drink," she mumbles and turns away quickly. she bumps into someone on her way to the bar but she keeps walking. she doesn't want to risk looking at anyone for fear that she'll start crying right there and then.

she almost laughs. how is she crying, again?

hailey decides the bar is definitely not the place for her to be right now and turns to go to the washrooms instead. the one thing actually working in her favour today is that it's empty and she can wallow in peace.

however, that is short lived too.

"hey, hails, there you are!" she knows it's was kim's voice before she even sees her. "i was wondering where you'd gone off t—" kim stops abruptly as she sees hailey hastily wiping away tears from her face. "hailey, what happened?" she is about to rush to her best friend's side but a stony glare overtakes her face. "was it luke? did he do something? i knew i shouldn't of left my knives at home."

kim is halfway out the door of the washrooms, until hailey pleads for her to come back. "no!" she blubbers, way past the point of caring that her voice is cracking. "it wasn't him."

"oh honey," kim frowns, wrapping an arm around her friend. "what happened?"

hailey laughs because it sounds so ridiculous in her head, it's going to sound even worse out loud. "jay and i were having a moment. i thought—i thought he was going to kiss me," she laughs bitterly. "god, i'm an idiot."

"what? no, you're definitely not the idiot here."

hailey wipes the last of her tears away; she's literally cried more today than she had in the past two years. "i don't know why i was thinking anything was there. it's been years; if something was supposed to happen, it would have already."

"are you kidding me, hailey?" kim demands in a tone that has hailey looking at her in shock and silence. "god, for people as smart as you two, i don't understand how you guys are so dumb."

hailey is still looking at her, as if she has two heads. "what?"

"jay has been in love with you since i can remember!" kim exclaims exasperatedly, as if this is common knowledge. "he looks at you like you're his whole world and seriously, i don't understand how it's been so long and you two still aren't together. adam and i are honestly exhausted of scheming against you two."

hailey furrows her eyebrows. "what?" she finds herself saying, again.

"god, i swear hailey," kim mumbles, shooting her a murderous glare. "none of this matters. what matters is that we're at your ex-boyfriend's wedding, who inconveniently has been paying a lot of attention to you. of course jay doesn't want to make a move on you now, not when luke is constantly over your shoulder!"

hailey blinks.

"shit."

"shit is right," kim grins, looking extremely self-satisfied. "now, let's go. you really need to talk to him and i really need a drink."

hailey nods numbly and allows kim to pull her out of the bathroom. "what do i say?" she asks in a panic. it's one thing thinking of this all in your head but having to actually articulate the words to his dumb, adorable face is completely different. he always gives her his full attention and it intimidates her.

"no, no," kim shakes her head, "i'm done. this is all you."

hailey nods, trying and failing to gather some confidence. she's a doctor for god's sake - this is nothing! yet, she still feels like she's going to throw up any second. it definitely doesn't help when she sees luke talking to an individual with their back towards her. and it certainly doesn't help when she realizes that individual is jay.

they are so engrossed in each other, luke doesn't even notice hailey approaching. "being her friend is not the same as being in a committed relationship. although, i'm not sure how much you would know about that. you were a regular in the friend zone."

hailey's jaw drops and she knows this is the final straw. fortunately, jay beats her to it.

"thanks so much for your concern, but i'm fine. and hailey's happy, which is more than she can say for the time she spent with you. so please, go find your wife and treat her better than you did hailey."

hailey's chest fills with affection for this man she should have given a chance ages ago. she knows, without a doubt, she loves him, and she has for longer than she cares to admit.

"alright," kim snaps, making both men turn around. jay has his jaw clenched but his eyes soften when he saw hailey; luke looks surprised, but keeps his eyes on kim. "this has gone on way too long and frankly, i'm pissed."

"i—" luke starts, but kim cuts him off.

"do not interrupt me! this is your wedding day, what the hell are you doing over here?" she asks in an accusatory tone, hands on her hips. "you and hailey didn't work out, and you have no right to get involved in her life now."

luke seems at a loss for words; there is nothing he could say. he takes one more final look at hailey and turns to make his way to the bar.

"god, finally," kim flipped her brown curls over her shoulder. "now, it's time for you two to have a talk." with that, she stalks off.

hailey can only hope she leaves to confess her love for adam because this confident, take charge attitude she has is really working for her.

jay grabs hailey's hand and leads her off to the side. "i'm so sorry, hails."

"god, don't be sorry," hailey shakes her head, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "it all makes sense now. it's my freaking ex's wedding, i'm sorry."

jay grins. "i tried so hard to be nice to him, i really did."

"jay, i don't want to talk about him anymore," she says slowly.

"well, we could talk about that," his smile widens as he points across the room, to where kim and adam are sharing a sweet kiss.

hailey smiles wide as the couple separates and glances in their direction. kim looks sheepish but adan is ecstatic. as hailey turns back to jay, he's giving adam the thumbs up.

"i don't want you to be my fake boyfriend anymore," hailey blurts out and she cringes. out of all the ways to phrase it, she has to say that?

jay's eyes look confused, "um, okay? i figured we were done playing pretend anyway, you know, considering…"

"no, that's not what i meant," hailey shakes her head and now she looks sheepish. "i want you," she whispers quietly; he moves closer. "you've been with me through every milestone, every important moment in my life. and the truth is, i love you," she is preparing for the worst but all she sees is his smile widen. "i've felt something for you since junior year but i've never felt something so intense; i didn't know what it was. but it's love and i love you, jay."

jay surges forward, capturing her face between his hands. this time, his eyes don't stray; he is completely and utterly consumed by her, and he kisses her. it's soft and slow and not nearly enough, but they have all the time in the world.

jay doesn't get the chance to say he loves her back, but she knows. it's in his eyes and in the way he holds her close to him.

adam and kim make their way over with gleeful smiles and glasses of champagne. "i think today deserves a toast," adam says, handing jay and hailey a glass.

"here's to our next chapter together," kim cheers, clinking her glass with the rest. for as long as she can remember, it has always been the four of them. they always defended each other, took care of each other, graduated together and moved away together. she can't imagine a greater group of friends than the ones she was blessed with, and this next chapter would only bring them closer together; it's how it should have always been. "god, i love you guys," she whispers, her eyes slightly watery as they cheer and huddle for a group hug.

this is a bit too emotional for their usual so it doesn't surprise anyone when jay makes his next comment.

"can you guys believe hailey used to date the groom? talk about an upgrade."

they all groan, but they can't deny it's the best damn wedding they've ever been to.

that is, until their own weddings, of course.

[miss-tc-nova]

My Hero - Katsuki Bakugo x Reader

Well...Gonna dabble in something outside of my usual KH. I love so many of the characters, I hope to write more in the future. 

Music inspiration: Dangerously by Charlie Puth

~~~~~

              By the hand, I lead my guest up the steps towards the daunting throne. Her grip holds tight, nervous and afraid. I can understand that sentiment, feeling the anxiety bubble in my own chest. This is my zenith, the epitome of my years of careful planning. This will be the end.

              She takes a seat and the metal crown lowers, fitting carefully around the extremity she’s been fostering for years now. Once it’s in place, I take another look, noticing the fidgeting in her fingers.

              “Would you rather we postpone tonight?” I ask, genuinely concerned. I’m honestly just as nervous as she is; for all I know, my fear might’ve prevented me from moving forward tonight, so I put my emotions aside and follow her lead.

              “No.” In her single word, she’s confident; despite the tremor in her voice, she’s determined to see this through. “Whether it’s now or later makes no difference. This is the best choice for humanity.”

              A soft smile tugs at my lips. “You’re a true hero.” I attach a pair of cuffs to her wrists. “We’re almost done. Let me know if it’s uncomfortable.”

              “Yes.” There’s a pause. “How does this work again?”

              I step back to examine my work. “This machine will amplify both our quirks, allowing us to reach the entire world. Still sound like a plan?”

              She nods, silent in her sullen steadfastness.

              With my guest ready, I make my way towards the control panel nearby and begin making my final preparations.

              I’ve spent so long preparing for this exact moment. A storm of pride, anxiety, and anticipation swirl in my chest. I could scream to the whole world right now, but I must wait until the end to celebrate. I’ve sacrificed a lot to get here; blood, sweat, and tears have gone into my ambition—and I’ve given perhaps more than I should have.

              I can’t dwell on that thought; there’s no going back no. I made my choices and it’s too late to regret them.

              The room shudders.

              Tearing my attention from the panel, I look to the door at the far end of the room. A second rumble shakes the walls, even from its distant origin. There’s no mistaking what that is.

              Now on borrowed time, I pick up the pace, terrified of the fact I have no chance to double check my work.

              “What’s going on?” she asks, clearly uneasy in her vulnerable position.

              I don’t want to worry her but I can’t lie—honesty is the only reason she’s put her faith in me.

              “He’s here.”

              My hands race across the board, though I must admit that his known presence slows me down. It takes everything in me not to panic or slip up, but I’m simply not fast enough.

              He arrives.

              The door bursts open like a pressurized can. A furious predator—he steps into the room. Those molten ruby eyes instantly find me, subjecting me to that vicious snarl he wields. Only I know him well enough to see the veiled panic in that expression.

              “Hands up!”

              I lift my hands. Careful cooperation is my best move here. The hero holds all the power; nothing would save me if he decided to end me here. I have no henchmen, no allies, no back up; everything hinged on the secrecy I let slip somewhere. Now it all hinges on ragged memories.

              “Step away from the controls!”

              His name slips from my lips. “Katsuki…”

              “Shut up! It’s Dynamite to you!” he snaps. “Now get down here before I blow this whole place to hell!”

              “Wait. Please, just listen.”

              “No!”

              “I-”

              “I SAID NO!”

              Another blast destroys a wall of unused equipment. With all the authority granted to him by his title and power, he points at me.

              “I have no mercy for villains—especially you! Not after you left!”

              “Let me explain.”

              “You had your chance to explain and you chose not to. You disappeared without a word—no text, no note, nothing. And then you show up five years later on my fucking criminal report?! Stealing machinery and kidnapping people?!”

              My teeth clench. Katsuki has every right to be angry at me after how I left.

              “I would’ve done anything for you. I would’ve given up being a hero for you!” That hurts like a slap across the face. “And you just left. You left me to become a villain! Did you even care about me?!”

              “Yes!” My answer couldn’t leave my mouth faster. “Yes, I loved you; so much that it still terrifies me. I never wanted to leave you, but I had to. We wanted very different things, Katsuki.”

              “You could’ve talked to me. We could’ve worked something out.”

              “Your dream was to be the number one hero and I didn’t see you giving up that dream any time soon.” I gesture to him. “And look where you are now—standing at the top as the most powerful hero in Japan. But I never wanted anything to do with your world of heroes and villains.”

              “I knew that,” he snaps. “I know that you hate heroes but I made a promise! You didn’t think I could keep my word?!”

              “We were fifteen. We were naïve and you made a promise you didn’t understand.”

              “Bullshit I didn’t understand!”

              “Then you would keep it even now?”

              His scowl falters. This is my gambit—my only hope in stalling my failure—but it comes at the price of opening old wounds.

              My sight blurring, I demand, “Even in the face of everything I’ve done, you would keep that promise?”

~~~~~

              “Katsuki, stop!”

              Against my wishes, he bites harder. A yelp escapes me, finally convincing the young man to release me.

              With a self-satisfied smirk, he wipes away the saliva dripping from his mouth. I glare, dragging a sleeve against my neck.

              “You’re so mean.”

              His hand takes my chin, forcing our faces only inches apart. Dark allure fills his voice and he says, “No, I’m possessive. You should know that by now.”

              That simper nearly has me taking the bait, but I want to play this game. “You’re lucky my shirt collar will cover it up.”

              “Oh yeah?” Bringing his face closer, grazing my lips with his soft, smooth ones nearly causes me to cave. “I can change that.”

              “Don’t you dare.”

              “Or what?”

              I want to give, to feel his lips against my skin again, but I also want to win. Hands against his chest, I push him back. What I didn’t realize was that his bed was directly behind him and he pulls me down on top of him. I make my escape, sitting up to frown at the young man. He flashes another grin, one far rarer, with sincerity and softness—one just for me. He’s rough and stubborn and sometimes mean, but he’s everything I love.

              And that’s a problem.

              “Okay. Sheesh. I’m sorry.” His thumb presses between my eyes, smoothing out the scorn. “Just stop making that face.”

              Letting my eyes flutter shut, I soak in the feeling of his palm against my cheek. A soothing serenity rolls through me, giving me all the comfort I never had before. I lived in fear my whole life, but Katsuki could make it all melt away with a single touch—forgotten but not gone.

              A jolt of icy guilt settles in my stomach. There was a reason the make-out was so heated.

              I reopen my eyes to stare at him.

              All that softness vanishes. “Don’t give me that look.”

  ��           “We can’t avoid this conversation forever,” I say, slipping to the side.

              With a huff, he sits up. “I don’t understand what the big deal is. So what if I want to be a hero. Why should that have anything to do with us?” My gaze drags away, however, a firm hand pulls it back. His eyes are hard and determined. “If I can’t avoid the conversation, you can’t either. So spill it; what’s the problem?”

              Pulling back, I take a moment to focus my thoughts. Katsuki and I met by chance, literally stumbling into each other on the street. Due to the nature of the bad day, I broke down, but I guess that abrupt act is what earned his pity. He sat with me until I could calm down. We passed by each other a few more times before he eventually asked me on a date. I fell hard, becoming entirely infatuated. But of all the things we spoke about, our prospective careers were not one of them until today.

              “My parents died during a fight between a hero and a villain.”

              When there’s no response, I peer up at him. He stares as if trying to understand. I probably should’ve kept my silence, but it’s out now.

              “The small town was practically leveled when they were done, including the shop my parents were in. And I was at home watching cartoons when the news came on. I got the worst phone call of my life that day.”

              “That must’ve been one tough villain.”

              Katsuki’s never been great with his emotions, that I understand; so, dealing with my baggage must be incredibly awkward for him. What I don’t get, though, is how blind he is.

              “The hero did just as much damage as the villain.”

              “Come on. Part of the job is to protect people. I bet-”

              Interrupting his defense, I meet his gaze with a hard glare. “It was the hero that killed my parents.”

              Unfazed, he replies, “So that’s it? You think all heroes are gonna do that?”

              “Can you promise me they’re not?” I’ve cried over this many times before, but that hit of resentment never hit quite this hard. “He destroyed my entire town—killed half the people that lived there! And do you know what happened to him?!” He waits for me to answer my own question, an uncomfortable scowl on his face. “Nothing! That fucker got off scot free with a slap on the wrist! My family, my neighbors, and friends! They meant nothing but a slap on the wrist!”

              Those warm palms are at my face again. “Hey, calm down.”

              Tearing away, I know I’m long gone. “What kind of society is willing to destroy thousands, maybe millions of people just for the sake of some hero’s shit reputation! How is that fair to the people who are dead?! How is that fair to my neighbor’s elderly mother with no one to take care of her?! How is that fair to the guy engaged to my friend’s sister?! HOW IS THAT FAIR TO ME?!”

              “It’s not. But that’s not all heroes.”

              “You can’t prove that!”

              In one swift motion, a firm hand shoves me down onto the bed. Through my tears, I glare at the boy pinning me. His eyes burn with determination.

              “Like hell I can’t!” he says. “I’m gonna be the best damn hero the world has ever seen and that means I’m gonna show you what a real hero is.”

              He doesn’t get it. “Katsuki-”

              “No. I mean it.”

              From that look and the tone of his voice, I know he does, and that fact douses the indignation festering in me.

              “Whenever you need me, I’ll save you. Because I’m gonna be your hero.”

              “You shouldn’t make irresponsible promises.”

              “It’s not irresponsible if I mean it.”

              There’s no getting through to him; he’s as stubborn as ever. Still, even while I know we want different things, it’s nice to think that there will always be someone on my side.

              I hate the hope in my whisper. “Really?”

              “Don’t you dare doubt me.” His forehead presses against mine. “No matter what happens, I’ll be your hero.”

~~~~~

              “Well?” I demand. “You still want to be my hero? Even though the whole world says I’m a villain, would you still protect me?!”

              “That’s why you’re doing this? Because one asshole hurt you?”

              “Hurt me?! He took my family! He destroyed me!”

              “He’s dead!”

              “So what?! He rotted in prison until the day he died and then five more took his place! But I can prevent millions-no, billions of people turning out like me!” I hold my arms out. “This is me trying to make the world a better place! I caused you to suffer and I deserve to be punished for that. But you’re a hero and your job is to do what’s best for the people. That’s what I’m doing! The only difference is that I don’t care if I have to be the villain to do it.”

              I take in this hero for possibly the last time. Seeing him wavering comes as quite a surprise. Still, behind it all lies the person I fell in love with—he hasn’t changed a bit. The number of times I dreamt of giving up and crawling back to him, even if just to suffer his wrath, is innumerable. No one made me reconsider everything I knew about this world like he did and I almost gave it all up for him. s

              But I couldn’t let go of my animosity.

              “I’m sorry.”

              I turn back on him, continuing my procedure at the control panel.

              She calls out to me. “Look out!”

              A series of blasts fill the air, and for a second time, I’m interrupted before I can complete the process. He snatches my shoulder, shoving me up against the machine. One of those deadly, explosive hands presses against my throat. Frantic fury fills those eyes; he’s acting on pure instinct. I wouldn’t be surprised if it all went black in the next second. However, he simply stands there, his crushing grip holding me in place while he glowers at me. I deserve his wrath and that injects a fresh wave of guilt into my brain but, ultimately, I know I wouldn’t have done anything different.

              My heart stops while a blaring ring fills my ears. The guilt had nothing on this. Tears immediately begin spilling over, showing every weakness I have. His lips smashed against mine are rough and desperate, as if this is his last resort.

              My remorse enflamed, I try to push him off, but Katsuki’s tightens his hold, turning from forceful to choking. In seconds, my strangulation forces the kiss to end. I grasp at his wrist, but I didn’t have enough strength to force him off before, let alone now in this state. This is probably the end.

              “I hate you,” he says darkly. Tear prick in the corner of his eyes.

              “Kacchan!”

              If I wasn’t screwed before, I am now. Leaping into the room are top heroes two and three: Deku and Shouto.

              “Midoriya?” My guest turns mortified.

              Deku calls out to her. “Don’t panic, Eri. We’re here to save you.”

              Katsuki lets me hit the floor. While ragged gasps pull air into my lungs, I fight my panic. I’m so close; I only have a handful more commands to put in, but that’s not going to happen with these three. My hand slams against the floor; I failed.

               Suddenly, a hand takes my arm, forcefully pulling me to my feet. I don’t even fight against it; there’s no point.

              “So fucking much.”

              My gaze trails along his arm and to his face. There’s no longer anger on his expression, but something more intimate. I’ve seen this look before, on the anniversary of my parents’ deaths, on the day I met Katsuki—pity. And I hate it.

              His grip relents but the palm remains open to me. I only have a second to decipher this gesture because the other two are getting closer. I glance one more time at that pity, wondering if he did understand all those years ago.

              I may be signing my own death warrant, but at least it’ll be by his hand.

              Resting my hand in his, I feel the connection being made that grants a person access to my quirk.

              Without a word, he turns towards the stairs and raises his hand. Shock flashes on their faces before a blast—larger than I had ever seen from him—sends the two heroes back to the bottom.

              “What the hell are you doing?!” Shouto yells.

              Deku instantly understands. “They used their amplification quirk on him!”

              “But why is he fighting us?!”

              “I don’t know…” The young man braces himself for a fight. “But if we don’t stop them, everyone in the world is going to lose their quirk.”

              Katsuki looks to me, his pity replaced by the sincerity and softness he shared only with me. The reality of his choice is starting to set in, and the magnitude of his sacrifice hits my resolve hard. He meant it—he understood and he meant it.

              It only takes him four words to break my heart.

              “No matter what happens.”

[toenialls]

hi ! here’s a fic rec i made bc what better time to read fics than a quarantine. i’ve ordered them below from longest to shortest. :) 

these are all the fics i’ve read/re-read this quarantine

hiding place by alivingfire  @alivingfire (365k)

louis never wanted a soulmate, didn’t really care for the whole Bonding thing at all, really. enter harry styles, who’s wanted to be Bonded for as long as he could remember. with one fateful meeting in a x factor bathroom, louis gets a dagger on his arm and the realization that just because harry is his soulmate doesn’t mean it’s mutual.

from the x factor house to madison square garden, from the fountain studios stage to stadiums across the world, louis has to learn to love without losing himself completely, because someday his best friend will Bond to someone and replace louis as the center of his universe. meanwhile, harry begins to think that maybe fate doesn’t actually know what it’s doing after all, because his other half has clearly been right in front of him the whole time. all he has to do now is convince louis to give them a chance.

or, the canon compliant harry and louis love story from the very beginning, where the only difference is that the love between them is literally written on their skin, and there’s only so much they can hide.

relief next to me  by dolce_piccante @haydolce (333k)

au- what happens when a baker and a graphic designer meet via a very specific craigslist post? fate, friendship, food, and maybe more. 

young & beautiful by velvetoscar @mizzwilde (227k)

louis, to his horror, attends an elitist university in which the name zayn malik means something, niall horan doesn’t stop talking, there are pianos everywhere, and harry styles, only son o a drug-addled, clinically insane ex-rocker, has a perfect smile and empty eyes 

now in a minute by thealmightyavocado @avocadolouie​ (150k)

13 feels like yesterday for many people, but for louis it actually was.more than anything in the world, louis tomlinson dreams of growing up. simply skipping over all the awkward embarrassing years of teenage existence and getting on with life, real life.

so when thirteen-year-old louis wakes up in the body of his thirty-year-old self, he expected his adult life to be picture perfect. and maybe it is. he has it all…or so it seems. 

except his favorite person and lifelong best mate, harry styles, is totally missing from the equation and louis doesn’t understand why. he has a lot of catching up to do and as adult life turns out to be more than what he bargained for, louis can’t help wondering why a life that seemed so perfect, feel so empty.

or, the 13 going on 30 au that should have been done years ago.

walk that mile by purpledaisy (149k)

harry stares at him, the line of his jaw standing out scarily. “i wanted to get the most out of this trip so i planned it carefully.” his voice is low and steady and somehow that’s worse than when he was yelling. “so far, you’ve put your sticky fingers on everything i’ve tried to do.”

"sticky fingers?“ louis repeats. offended. “are you saying it’s my fault you got stung by a bee? had you been alone you would have gotten halfway to the dotty diner and ran the car off the road because of an allergic reaction, so don’t go blaming me.”

"polk-a-dot drive in,“ harry spits before getting out of the car. he slams the door shut with a deafening reverb and louis rolls his eyes.

or, a route 66 au where falling in love was never part of the plan.

own the scars by crinkle-eyed-boo @crinkle-eyed-boo​ (144k)

“but i don’t belong here,” louis insists.

"why do you say that?“ james asks.

"these people are all drug addicts and alcoholics,” louis shrugs. something sparks in james’ eyes. “and you’re not?”

louis has never felt like he was good enough: for his stepdad, for his life-long best friends, for the life he’s supposed to want. after an accident that nearly costs him his life, louis’ parents send him to rehab where he’s forced to make his own decisions. on the long and difficult road to recovery, louis must confront the truths he;s been avoiding about his future, his relationships, and his sense of self-worth. because before he can love anyone else, he’s got to learn how to love himself first.

wear it like a crown by zarah5 @zarahdetand​ (141k)

au- as a part of a team of fixers hired to handle a gay scandal in buckingham palace, louis expects prince harry to be a lot of things –  most notable a royally spoilt brat. never mind that the very same prince harry used to star in quite a number of louis’ teenage fantasies.

unbelievers by isthatyoularry @isthatyoularry​ (136k)

it’s louis’ senior year, and he’s dead set on doing it right. however, along with his pair of cleats, a healthy dose of sarcasm and his ridiculous best friend, he’s also got a complicated family, a terrifying uncertain future, and a mortal enemy making his life that much worse. mortal enemies “with benefits” was not exactly the plan.

or, the one where louis and harry definitely aren’t friends, and football is everything

empty skies by green_feelings (134k)

for three years, harry has been running from his past. now, he is moving to london and pledges to fulfill only his dream – making it big in the music industry. not everyone has a place, though, and the competition is tough. as is his past catching up to him.

louis is part of the biggest boy band of the world, and getting there meant a lo to hard work, as well as sacrificing parts of his heart and soul. he’s still happy. maybe not as happy as he could be, but who is he to complain?

featuring perrie as harry’s adorable flatmate, niall as his manager, and liam and zayn as louis’ bandmates.

love is a rebellious bird by 100precentsassy @100percentsassy​ gloria_andrews @gloriaandrews​ (134k)

au. in which the boys still make music. louis is the concertmaster of the london symphony orchestra, harry is the new! and exciting! interim conductor / ex-cello prodigy who “has made mozart cool again” according to esquire magazine (louis hates him immediately, which is definitely why he internet stalked him in his dark bedroom late at night that one time), and niall is the best. zayn and liam are around too.

don’t hum Bolero

wild love by  purpledaisy (130k)

“good,” julia says, clearly pleased to have them both uncomfortable and unable to look at each other. “now, i only have one more question before you can go. what are you planning to do when this experiment ruins your friendship?“

 "we said we’d stay friends no matter what,” harry says smoothly his chin lifting in defense.

"that was our one thing going into it,“ louis agrees. “stay friends no matter what.”

julia raises a perfectly manicured eyebrow, “that’s all fine and good. but i hope you realize your emotions aren’t going to realize this is an experiment in the end. if one of you falls for the other and finds out those feelings are not reciprocated you’re not going to be able to laugh it off as a social experiment. i’m not saying you shouldn’t do this, i’m just hoping you’ve considered all of the possible outcomes.”

or, two friends try to date each other for forty days. it’s supposed to be fun until emotions make it complicated

got the sunshine on my shoulders by hattalove @hattalove​ (124k)

five years ago, harry styles left his tiny home town to make it big as a recording artist, he didn’t have much regard for what he left behind– a life, a family, a husband, who woke up one morning to find him gone.

now, harry has everything he could possibly want. he’s rich, famous, and adored by everyone he meets, including his boyfriend. but when said boyfriend proposes to him, he’s forced to face the uncomfortable facts of his past– and louis, who’s spent the last five years returning every set of divorce papers harry sent him.

or, au based on the movie sweet home alabama.

california sold by isthatyoularry (123k)

notoriously closeted boyband member harry styles is famous on a global scale, meanwhile louis, as his best friend, is back home in manchester living the typical life of a 24 year old. when harry needs louis with him in LA, a publicity stunt gone wrong changes their friendship forever.

or, a fake-relationship au between two lifelong best friends.

the finish line (is a good place for us to start) by loadedgunn @loaded-gunn (122k)

louis tomlinson, one-time formula i world champion, is looking forward to the 2013 season, he’s got zayn in his garage and liam in his ear, he’s got cowell racing backing him despite former indiscretions, he’s got experience and the best race car out there. not to mention he’s the only racer they have, after oliver dropped out late last year.

it hasn’t occured to him that oliver would have to be replaced by february. that is, until he finds himself at a party celebrating harry styles leaving ferarri for cowell. harry hotshot styles, who broke a record last year and is probably looking to make a big splash. harry styles, who is talented and somewhat intimidating. harry styles, who left ferarri for reasons unknown and seems kind of lonely and harmless in person. lonely, harmless, hot as fuck. whatever.

the first thing louis does is take him under his wing. from there it’s nine months of slow-burning romance, the past catching up to them, turning into the human puppy pile that is ot5 and a lot of feelings until, of course, reaching the finish line.  

tired tired sea by mediawhore @mediawhorefics​ (113k)

as a b&b owner on the most remote of all the british isles, louis tomlinson is used to spending the coldest half of the year in complete isolation, with his dog and the sea as sol companions. until one day, a mysterious stranger on a quest to rebuild himself rents a room for the winter.

here in the afterglow by fondleeds @fondleeds​ (88k)

"if you hadn’t noticed, i don’t have many friends,” louis whispers, the blossom of insecurity in his stomach unfurling and clawing his way into his throat.

harry is silent for a long time, and then he speaks; a soft, slow uncurl that makes louis’ stomach shake. “i’ll be your friend.”

or, 1970’s au. in a tiny town in idaho, louis’ life changed forever by the arrival of a curious stranger.

chasing empty spaces by domesticharry @domestic-harry​ (79k)

the year is 1934 and harry styles was to inherit the largest tobacco firm in the south. his parents have picked out the “perfect” girl for him to marry and he has the privilege of receiving the highest education possible. the problem was, harry hadn’t realized that he didn’t want nay part of the future until he met a mechanic named, louis tomlinson.

don’t want shelter by kingsofeverything @kingsofeverything​ (76k)

louis and harry have known each other all their lives. friends as children, they danced around each other as teenagers, and have spent the last twenty-five years either screaming at each other or not speaking at all. except for that one time ten years ago...

when hurricane nicole threatens the coast, they end up stuck together in their families' old vacation home that they begrudgingly co-own.

during the storm, and in the months after, they’re both forced to reevaluate their history and what they mean to each other

money moves by mmaree @zqua1d​ (74k)

"i’ll cut straight to the chase,“ liam announces. he leans forward, and zayn is met with steely eyes and steepled fingers. "i’m willing to offer you fifty grand if you’ll enter into a small…partnership with me. this would be in addition to your salary at payne innovations, of course. think of it as a bonus.”

zayn narrow his eyes. “what kind of partnership?”

"a fake engagement.“

"oh,” zayn says, relived it’s nothing illegal. “wait–what?”

“a fake engagement,” his boss repeats slowly, as if he’s convinced zayn’s comprehension skills are significantly lacking. “for six months. maybe less if i can pull it off sooner but don’t worry– you’ll be paid the full sum regardless of how long it takes.”

zayn’s suspicious, and he doesn’t even know why. there’s nothing to be suspicious of because, clearly, liam’s lost the plot. zayn’s having a conversation with a complete nutter. there’s no other reasonable explanation.

he clears his throat, searches liam’s eyes for a sign he’s taking the piss. “how long what takes?”

a smile plays at liam’s lips. “for me to be hired as the cto at titan technologies.”

to the ends of the earth by stylinsoncity @aliensingucci​ (68k)

during a yearlong hiatus, louis visits harry at his cabin in idaho, where long-buried feelings ignite like the fire keeping them warm.

lend me your hand by quickedween (63k)

society has long since decided that the soulmarks everyone is born with are entirely unfashionable. they’re just another way for people of a lower class to scam their way into marrying above their station.

lord louis tomlinson viscount loring, on the other hand, has always believed that he will find his soulmate one day. despite preparing for a match his whole life, he is entirely unprepared for the arrival of gemma styles’ younger brother.

harry styles has been travelling and away from society for over a year. coming back, he intends to spend time with his sister, and slowly reacquaint himself with life in town. he doesn’t need to wait around for a soulmark to determine how his life will play out.

small doses (loving you it’s explosive) by quickedween (40k)

louis tomlinson finds himself at vitality fitness to try and turn his life around after having left his cheating boyfriends of four years. the gym’s owner, liam, quickly becomes a good friend but his right hand man is rude and dismissive from the get-go.

louis and harry continue to clash all while harry is trying to move his way up the ranks in manchester’s amateur boxing circuit, but they can’t seem to stay away from each other.

learning to eat by photo41 (28k)

celebrity chef louis tomlinson has a problem, he’s opening his first restaurant in 9 week . and he has yet to hire a pastry chef- apparently people think he’s “standoffish” and “rude” and “quick to temper” . whatever. he ends u saddled with an annoying, happy-go-lucky rookie who also happens to be obnoxiously good looking. his tv presenter and pop star friends only add to the drama, and for fucks sake would everyone please stop quoting julia child?!

these roads we stumble down  by onewasturning @onewasturning​ (18k)

he’s completely drenched, not one milimetre of him covered in rain, and the old sheepskin cover over the seat is probably going to stink afterwards from the damp. but even with what seems to be a constant tremor shaking his body, brown hair plastered to his forehead, and a blue tinge to his skin, he’s still probably the most gorgeous person that harry has ever seen.

or, harry picks up a hitchhiker in oxford, and it’s a long ride to glasgow.