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chrysaliseuro2019 · 5 years

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Sandy Shore

Next morning it was time to move on from Nea Moudania. There was more peninsula to discover. After another hearty breakfast this time augmented by another Theodora specialty cake. This time a sort of chocolate cake. It did not seem to involve much sponge though Liz advises there was a base of it. Above that was chocolate mousse and on top of that about 2 cms (looked like 3) of whipped cream. My heart sank about the only thing that I found appetising about that was the sponge which was thin on. Liz had to pull her weight for two of us. I was beginning to understand why the sweet section of breakfast was more extensive than the savoury one. Clearly Theodora had a sweet tooth though the spanakopita was excellent, flaky and very tasty and she said was her favourite. Time for us to move on and Liz bade farewell to Theodora which apparently involved a big hug to her ample bosom. I did not know this at the time but as I separately went to say my farewells and thank you I stuck my hand out and was on the end of a Lathamesque fist pump. Apparently Theodora gave some last pieces of advice to Liz on destinations but finalised with "after a couple of days, if it's not working you can come home ie to the Sokratis as she had rooms coming free". It felt a bit like home too. On Theodora's advice we were heading for a town called Chanioti well down the Kassandra peninsula. Very booked out so we had had to take a large hotel for 3 nights not really our preference. However it had free cancellation right up to midnight on check-in day (which seemed by odd) and so we determined that if we saw anything better on the way to it we would switcheroo. The peninsula has a very narrow channel which separates it from the mainland. We drifted down slowly trying to stick to the coast. Got out at the little town of Nea Fokea and had a look at the byzantine tower and a little chapel. It had possibilities as a little Marina there and beach but a bit too early in our journey so kept going. We stopped for a coffee at a fairly ghastly place. A beach bar where there were wall to wall umbrellas cushions and sun lounges. Average age 25 and the music pumped up to a high level of decibels. Close to the bar you had to yell to make yourself heard. We made the coffee a take-away. Further on we saw a sign to another beach but as we pulled off the road we saw a couple of buses and then in the car park there were around 5 more. Clearly a venue for day trippers. We passed on and this was the ongoing story really. Nothing really jumping out at us. Either the odd big town which did not really look the goods or quite remote places where you don't know where you might get a feed. Didn't see many vacancy signs either. One slightly disconcerting thing is there seemed to be far more apartments for rent than hotel rooms. For us, the one or two night stayers, this is less than ideal as they really want week long bookings. Also you can't always walk up and find someone on the premises though in some places the owners are on site and have just sub-divided their house. We also hit some heavy traffic as basically there is one road in and one road out. At least on this side of the peninsula. We had been warned about that but we could see perhaps a 2-3km queue of dawdling traffic heading out with congestion in various other places too. Hopefully they were going home because the weekend was looming and it was back to work Monday. Could be painful for us getting back out if this is the norm. We finally arrived in Chanioti which was a small maze in itself and very lively but found our way to the hotel. It was every bit as soulless as we feared. Smart enough but a dozen people hanging around a pool with very little atmosphere. 3 nights here would not be fun. We went and had a look at the beach which was about 200 metres away and things went from bad to worse. Umbrellas and beach beds as far as the eye could see in either direction with the music going loudly as well. Not much serenity here. We retreated thinking - where to next? This joint was a last resort if we drew a blank elsewhere but we had now been going for 3 hours+ without a sniff re ally. On we went towards the bottom of the peninsula. Went down several back roads pointing to little towns but either nothing much there or on one occasion the 5 star resort complete with a fleet of Greg Norman yachts and the $$1000/night price tag. As we crossed over and started to make our way up the other side (western side) of the peninsula we found a nice little town called Loutra Beach (not to be confused with a similar place that seems to be on an island). Liz googled away looking for a room while I knocked on several doors where apartments were for rent. Liz had one possibility while I drew blanks. We headed into the centre of town to check Liz's lead but she had been led up the garden path by someone she spoke to. Nothing. We hadn't eaten anything since breakfast except for a few nuts so stopped for a Greek salad and soft drinks. Now around 5.00 and no closer. We tried one final hotel on the outskirts which was up a very steep hill, so great view, but nada. On we went steadily heading down the peninsula but nothing much jumping out. Tried a couple more hotels by walking up at Fourka Beach but again nothing and then Liz's perseverance on booking.com paid off. The hotel Paralio at Possidi beach which was close by had a room free with sea facing balcony. We whipped down there Liz took a look while I waited with the car in an area which didn't allow you to park ie residents parking (a local nicely tried to shoo me away but was happy when I said it would only be a few mins). Thumbs up from Liz and we were in. It was around 6.00 pm and a big day really but soon realised that the effort was worth it. Dinky room right on seafront ie sea across the road with balcony just above street level. Immediate dip in the sea as we were pretty hot. Enjoyed some drinks on our balcony post that. Also we decided that we weren't going to find anything much as user friendly and well located as this so booked a second night. For dinner we tried a couple of the nicer restaurants in town but both fully booked (as they were the following night which was Saturday). A very nice couple of locals who had just sneaked onto the last table in one of the restaurants sympathised with us. As soon as he heard where we were from he broke into a "throw the shrimp on the barbie" routine. Life must have been a bit too easy as there was no sense from the guys in the restaurant that a table might free up if we came back in 20 mins. It looked like one sitting even though some people were clearly going to finish in the near future. Even the young couple had had to talk them into giving them a table which was free but sort of in the passageway. We ended up going to the restaurant 50 metres away which was not as flash but just as full. Total bedlam as it was quite large. Seating seemed to be arbitrary. In fact also went there the next night and after I enquired of the boss lady who took all payments if we could sit at a certain table I was told if it's free just sit there. Service took a long time and we didn't choose particularly well. Liz had the stuffed peppers which can best be described as ho hum. I had the moussaka, tasty enough, but the copious amount of béchamel sauce fixed me up big time. The digestive system is not fond of creamy stuff. Also of course had a Greek salad. Very amusing young waiter who was not allowed to take orders (he was a meal deliverer and table setter upper) though he could get me a beer. As he spruced the table up by putting the table cloth down and separately brought the meals he stopped us if we tried to assist him in any way, saying - "that's my job". All with an infectious smile to go with the braces on his teeth. Despite the fare we enjoyed the ambience and were right by the sea. A short stroll around the very small village before heading home. The béchamel kept me awake and even tried a minnie heave (unsuccessfully) so have sworn off that. The next day was all about the beach. Breakfast was a disappointing event. Because the breakfast room was small we were encouraged to take our breakfast back to our own room. No hardship that as we had the balcony. Choice was very ordinary. Three sweet cereals no muesli, fried eggs sitting in a Bain Marie together with minuscule saveloys, cold pancakes. One of the pastries with custard was good as was a slice of cake with jam. Greek yoghourt was good though not much effort required there. We felt they are just going through the motions. Breakfast was included in the deal so they had to provide it but had skimped and didn't give a "toss", breakfast was not winning then business. Their location across the street from the sea was. Off to the beach though for a pretty full day of relaxation. I did go past the two flasher looking restaurants and managed to book one of them for the Sunday night. We also adjourned to a neighbouring cafe for lunch as our hotel was not serving food that day due to some kitchen issue. A very healthy club sandwich and chips was shared. That night we decided we liked the previous night's place enough to return. Just would choose differently. In truth its slim pickings in terms of choices in this town (with a number of clone restaurants) once the two main restaurants are full (and neither was very large). It was bedlam again and chokkers. A table was free literally near the entrance so away from the seafront which wasn't so bad as the wind had got up and it was a bit cool. After our advice to grab wherever is free from the boss we jumped in but we were so tucked away that service was not forthcoming. Not that it was fast in this place at any time. Luckily a table became free at the front by the sea we moved swiftly to grab it just ahead of others and we braved the wind which wasn't too bad as it turned out. Service eventually came and we shared grilled squid and sardines and a salad. Another pleasant evening and at the end the manic maitre de did spend a few minutes chatting to Liz which was nice as he had seemed pretty disinterested. Just run off his feet. Next day Liz was up earlier than me and walked to a neighbouring sandy promontory. Probably a couple of kms walk and it jutted out about 400 metres into the sea. She returned for breakfast and then I did the same. Very nice to walk out there and by the time I did it was pretty hot so I got right to the tip and had a quick swim to cool off. Water very clear around there and a bit cooler as more exposed. The rest of the day followed the usual routine of a beach day. We did have a pork gyros and chicken souvlaki for lunch. Pork good chicken not so. That night after drinks on the balcony we headed to the nicer restaurant. Food was undoubtedly better quality as was the clientele. Maitre de also charming. Liz's seafood pasta, more risotto like was plentiful and very tasty and I had octopus marinated in onions, tomatoes and whatever. Very very nice. Our time at Possidi was at an end. It had been painful finding it and as often is the case a combo of perseverance and luck got us there and in particular in our very pleasant room across from the sea. Just the right size of town/village (small) with enough action and good beach. Liz made a good point about the beach (they all seem to be sandy in this neck of the woods) which was that it was narrow, perhaps no more than 20-25 metres where we were, but that stopped there being masses of beds and umbrellas. We left wanting a little bit more which is always a good way to go.

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funnynewsheadlines · 4 years

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Boyfriend Goes Above And Beyond To Eat The Last Dorito Without His GF Knowing, And His Hilarious Plan Works

Hollywood actor Chuck McCarthy and his girlfriend couldn’t decide who gets the last Dorito, so the couple compromised — nobody. They put the Dorito under a glass bowl, preserving it as a true sign of democracy. Or at least that’s what Chuck’s girlfriend has been thinking.

Soon after the deal, Chuck came up with a genius plan: replace the delicious snack with a replica and devour it all by himself. The perfect crime.

Not only did he go above and beyond to recreate the Dorito, but Chuck also pulled off the old switcheroo to the T, leaving his girlfriend totally clueless. That is, if nobody tells her…

“We don’t know when we’ll be able to go to the store again because of the quarantine etc., and there was a lot of discussion over who got the last full Dorito, so my girlfriend and I decided to save it”

“Before the quarantine, we’d have Doritos every now and then. We both love them,” Chuck told Bored Panda. “They’re comfort food, which is why we bought several bags going into quarantine, but it’s a hard chip to have self-control over when they’re in your house. You know. Have you ever had just 1 Dorito? Or just 15 Doritos? We kind of blew through the bags, which is why we said we weren’t getting more, making that last one precious.”

“I’m working on making a paper mache replica, so I can steal it and eat it without her knowing”

However, the Dorito forgery turned out to be a rabbit hole. At first, Chuck planned to spend only about 10 minutes and make a terrible yellow triangle. He thought his girlfriend would have still found it funny, but once he got the basic shape made out of toilet paper, he was all in.

“I used wet toilet paper to sculpt a basic Dorito triangle. Added a little glue and yellow and ocher watercolor for color and structure”

“I put the ‘chip’ in my toaster oven to dry it out”

“I [picked up] the watercolor paints I was using on an illustration to give the wet TP a base yellow. I dried it mostly in my toaster oven, which I’ve since cleaned, then added more coloring, glue and tried to mold it,” Chuck explained the process.

His 10 min joke eventually turned into a 3-hour mission, and he wasn’t even done.

Before continuing, Chuck hid the forgery to dry completely. “I knew I couldn’t paint the spice specks on the wet TP without the watercolor paint spreading. I went to bed around 5 am. The next day, while my girlfriend was on a conference call, I tried adding actual spices from the old bag.”

“Added a little more color and glue, then let the “chip” dry overnight draped over an old pen, to give it the same wave form as the original”

“With the basic chip done and dry, I tried to figure out the distinctive Cool Ranch Doritos seasoning, red and green specks”

“I was worried that the watercolor paint would run and spread too much, so I decided to try a suggestion from the comments of my original post, and use real seasoning from the old batch that I fished out of the garbage and cut open”

“I tried placing the seasoning on the “chip” but even with scissors and tweezers, it was impossible. Apparently, the only surfaces that the spices will stick to are Dorito chips and your fingers”

“Silver lining: Cutting open the bag gave me access to some missed crumbs”

“Solution: I used a needle to paint Cool Ranch red and green specks on my forgery”

Chuck said painting the specks on with a needle was the most intense part of the process. “I was almost positive my girlfriend was going to get off her call and catch me. It was a race against time.”

Finished “chip”

“I was going to wait for my girlfriend to go to sleep to pull off the switch, but… my girlfriend decided she needed to take a bath, giving me an opportunity to pull off a daring daytime heist. And…”

“Boom!”

“What do you think? I don’t think she’ll ever know”

Image credits: ideasbychuck

Chuck’s girlfriend hasn’t discovered the Dorito switch yet, but she did notice that he cleaned the toaster oven, and was very happy about that, so the actor hopes that it will offset her getting upset about his heist.

“We need funny things right now,” Chuck said, admitting he and his girlfriend will probably get more Doritos the next time they go to the store.

As for now, the actor hopes we can all make it through these difficult times safely as soon as possible. That would allow him to get back to “doing something more productive with my time than making fake Doritos out of toilet paper.”

He said the pandemic has changed our lives in the same way it’s changed so many other people’s lives. “We’re staying inside. We’re wearing masks. I have no work or auditions or even side hustles, and my girlfriend is working from home now. Because our apartment is basically her office during the day, I find myself staying up super late doing art projects and posting stuff online, trying to not feel totally unproductive. Of course, like everyone else, we try to buy a bunch of groceries at a time, so we go to the store less and we’re cooking at home way more than before.”

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madegeeky · 5 years

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So, I noticed the other day that Prehysteria was on amazon prince videos. For those of you who haven't had the dubious pleasure of seeing this movie, it's a story about a young boy and his family who suddenly find themselves in possession of baby dinosaurs, after their dog steals a cooler from the local asshole business owner who stole them from a sacred temple when he was on a trip.

The dinosaurs are cute and the animatronics are actually decent, as is the cgi. The truly baffling thing, though, is so little time is spent with the dinosaurs. Instead, 3/4 of the movie's run time is focused on the family and the dad's love interest which is truly a baffling choice. (And I did go and look and the dinosaurs are only on-screen for about 25 mins of the movie's hour and 20 min run time, despite the fact that they hatch only 25 mins into the movie.)

And then there were the baffling character choices made for the family, made even worse by that particular brand of shitty dialogue from the 90s made even worse by truly atrocious writing and bad acting. The young pre-teen boy comments and jokes constantly about both his older sister's sex life and his dad's, on top of which he calls his sister weird and creepy names (babe and honey are just too examples). The dad is apparently the only person in the world who hates dinosaurs and he spends almost the whole movie talking about how much he hates them (which gets real old, real fast). At one point the asshole business owner threatens and traps the dad's love interest who is only able to escape by hitting him in the head with a rock (I don't remember it being so disturbing as a kid, but it's an intensely uncomfortable scene to me now). So the love interest runs to the dad to ask for help and when he jokes about her being attacked, she is rightfully enraged and turns to leave, only for him to grab her keys out of her hands and refuse to let her leave. It is an unpleasant scene to watch; Mr. Geeky and I were both like, holy fuck, wtf.

And the ending is just... a nothing ending. It's like the writers were college kids who ran out of time/energy and just slapped on an ending so they could call it done. So, at the end, asshole bussiness man takes back his dinosaurs and then kidnaps the love interest because she says she can help keep them alive. Time passes and apparently dad does absolutely nothing about any of this, even at his kids' constant prompting. Finally he sees a picture of the love interest in the paper and apparently this is his breaking point for some reason? Anyway, the entire family runs to this press conference asshole bussiness man is holding and shows up last minute but somehow they still manage to pull a switcheroo and when the big reveal is done for the reporters the family dog is in the cage instead of the baby dinosaurs and that's it. I mean, it's never really explained how they did the switch and the fact that asshole business man is still out there and could technically still come after them is just ignored? I guess he died from embarrassment or something because everyone just acts as though their worries are now over.

The really sad thing is that that any time spent with the baby dinosaurs is actually pretty fun but even once they're in the movie, so much run time is still dedicated to the (uninteresting, boring) family. These scenes which would already be frustrating because of the bad writing and acting, are made even more so because you know you could be seeing baby dinosaurs instead. Overall, just a weird movie experience.

#geeky talks #mari talks movies

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365footballorg-blog · 6 years

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Fantasy: How to take advantage of the final double-game week in Week 34

October 17, 20183:43PM EDT

Reid, Mike, and Blayne are joined by Tim to review the penultimate round of the 2018 Fantasy season. They start the show by giving LAFC the credit they are due before moving into the revised format for round reviews and previews (feedback wanted on the new format). They have a great discussion about the value of D.C. United midfielders vs defenders and toss around ideas about how to integrate away players into your lineup…if you dare! It’s the final DGW of the season so be sure to listen before games kickoff on Wednesday at 7:30 pm ET.

Round 33 was short, and a high fantasy score mostly depended on avoiding the Minnesota vs. Colorado trap and picking Carlos Vela as your captain. If you did, I hope you enjoyed your 54 fantasy points! If not, you can make up for those lost points now, as Week 34 is the last double-game week of 2018.

There are a lot of tempting possibilities this week, but a top score will depend on finding a balance between promising double-away and single-game week player. Below are some of my favorite options for Week 34.

Double-Game: D.C, United, Orlando City, Real Salt Lake, Seattle Sounders, Sporting Kansas City, Toronto FC, Vancouver Whitecaps

Bye Teams: None

Keepers

Bill Hamid has two home games this week with D.C. United | USA Today Sports Images

Home Stretch: D.C. United are close to sealing a playoff berth thought impossible a few short months ago. A part of this success is thanks to the return of Bill Hamid ($ 8.4), who has helped D.C. win close games and tripled the number of clean sheets this year. Hamid has a great shot at starting the round off with his 4th shutout of the season as we may see rotation in Toronto’s starting XI on Wednesday night (7:30 pm ET | TSN2 — Full TV & streaming info).

Road Wall: If you’d rather save your D.C. picks for the field, then consider Seattle goalkeeper Stefan Frei ($ 7.5). At first glance, a double-road gameweek may seem unfavorable, but the Sounders have the league’s top road defense and have won four of their last five road games. Two clean sheets is not out of the question. The Houston Dynamo will be missing key attacking players Sunday (5 pm ET | TV & streaming info) and Orlando enters Wednesday night (7:30 pm ET | TV & streaming info) in a slump.

Defenders

Graham Zusi is a two-way threat from his outside back position, on a team that plays two games this week | USA Today Sports Images

Double Threat: If you’re looking for a defender who can generate points on both side of the field, start with SKC fullback Graham Zusi ($ 10.5). He’s averaging over seven points per game and has only scored less than four once thanks to his bonus point generation. His first game against a weakened Vancouver side is his best shot for a clean sheet, but he could see more success later if his current form holds against FC Dallas on Sunday (5 pm ET | TV & streaming info).

Value Option: If you can’t afford an expensive defender, then go with D.C. center back Frederic Brillant ($ 6.5). He’s the cheapest option if you want coverage for D.C.’s double-home games and has earned an average of eight points per game since working back into Ben Olsen’s starting XI.

Midfielders

Despite Orlando’s continuing slump, midfield talisman Sacha Kljestan could be a big fantasy producer this week | USA Today Sports Images

Underdog: If you want a differential player with more than one game this week, then consider Orlando playmaker Sacha Kljestan ($ 6.5). Yes the Lions are a longshot, but their final two home games could end in their favor. Seattle may be without key attackers on Wednesday night (7:30 pm ET | TV & streaming info). And Columbus Crew SC is currently experiences its own dip in form entering a Sunday encounter (3 pm ET | TV & streaming info). Kljestan, on the other hand, is a player with a proven history for fantasy point generation and his low price makes him an ideal switcheroo.

Lineup Watch: This is the final week of the season for RSL, and many managers may be hoping that the pressure results in big fantasy scores. However, I am concerned that international call-ups and suspensions will hurt their chances against the New England Revolution on Thursday night (9 pm ET | TV & streaming info) and that on Sunday, Portland will hand out another blowout (5 pm ET | TV & streaming info). If you have more faith, Albert Rusnak ($ 11.8) is your best option for points, but watch for the roster on Thursday and have a backup plan.

Forwards

Target Man: Round 34 offers no shortage of quality forwards, and that means that most managers will likely use all three spots. It’s usually easy to fill the first two spots, so if you’re still looking for that third player, don’t forget about Kei Kamara ($ 11.5), who’s scored a goal or earned an assist in six of his last eight games. With several key players missing for Vancouver, Kamara will be the go-to man for the offense against both Sporting KC on Wednesday (10:00 pm ET | TSN — Full TV & streaming info) and LAFC.

SGW Option: If you’re looking for the ideal single-game week player for your front three, my top pick is LAFC maestro Carlos Vela ($ 13.1). His recent offensive success is likely to continue against Vancouver on Sunday (5:00 pm ET | TSN — Full TV & streaming info), but he earns my top spot mostly due to concerns I have with the other top two options. Sebastian Giovinco ($ 14.4): Will he play? I don’t know. Now that Toronto is out, I could see rotations. Josef Martinez ($ 12.6): A promising game against the Chicago Fire, but he could experience more defensive pressure without Almiron.

WHICH PLAYERS are you considering for Round 34?

FOR MORE fantasy advice, be sure to check out the articles and charts posted at MLSFantasyBoss.com.

Stay Connected: To get all the latest Fantasy news and advice, download the MLS app and sign up for MLS Fantasy notifications. To sign up for notifications, select the main menu, then choose settings. Within the settings menu, select News & Videos notifications and turn on notifications for “Fantasy Soccer.”

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Fantasy: How to take advantage of the final double-game week in Week 34 was originally published on 365 Football

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culturalgutter · 7 years

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This month is our annual Switcheroo Month, so Comics Editor Carol is leaving comics behind and writing about the South Korean television drama, Vampire Prosecutor.

“Vampire Prosecutor? Is the vampire a prosecutor or do they prosecute vampires? Or both?” you ask.

“Yes,” I answer.

“Does Vampire Prosecutor take a bite out of crime?”

“…”

“How many vampires would a vampire prosecutor prosecute if a vampire prosecutor prosecute if a vampire prosecutor could prosecute vampire prosecutors?” you ask.

“Just stop,” I say.

A title like Vampire Prosecutor sounds like something that might just be plain fun if produced by the CW, but genre doesn’t mean the same thing in South Korean television. If you come in thinking it’s all fun and vampire prosecution, well, you might be in for an unpleasant surprise. Vampire Prosecutor is fun. There are funny episodes and great banter. It’s cleverly written. But the show’s gore and violence levels are pretty much the same as the gore or violence levels I associate with South Korean cinema, particularly in Vampire Prosecutor‘s second season. Not only do we hear things, with exquisitely ghastly foleying, we see things, too. So Vampire Prosecutor is rated mature for violence, gore, and Det. Hwang Soon-bum’s gross eating. It’s a serious show, though it’s not all gloom. Screenwriters Han Jung-hoon and Kang Eun-sun have a strong understanding of their form and a playful sense of metafiction. And while I imagine Vampire Prosecutor would be sixty-five times better if I spoke Korean and caught all the subtleties of when Det. Hwang drops his honorifics and when he doesn’t, it is already very good. The show has a nice balance of drama, horor and humor. Not to mention Vampire Prosecutor‘s fascinating fashions. Prosecutor Min Tae-yeon’s fashion is as central as Olivia Pope’s is in Scandal.* Vampire Prosecutor pops his collar and rolls up the sleeves of his jacket. Sonny from Miami Vice doesn’t even understand how much Vampire Prosecutor has to deal with. Vampire Prosecutor Min Tae-yeon has a lot on his plate.

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Some of Min Tae-yeon’s interesting jackets.

Min Tae-yeon (Yeon Jeong-hun) is a prosecutor in the city of Seoul. He’s been assigned to the “Prosecutor-Police Joint Special Investigation Unit.” The unit is even more awkwardly named in Korean and is a career graveyard according to the older, powerful men who created it. They are not, however, troubled like I am about the justice implications of joining government’s investigatory and prosecutorial arms in one prosecution headed unit. They are kind of corrupt themselves. Min’s team includes junior prosecutor Yoo Jung-in (Lee Young-ah), intern and all-around science and computer guy Choi Dong-man (Kim Joo-young) and Prosecutor Min’s old friend Det. Hwang Soon-bum (Lee Wong-jong). It’s clearly a team that while not explicitly set up to fail is set up to be too small to ultimately succeed. But the team’s supervisor, Chief Prosecutor Yang believes in them. Prosecutor Yoo is determined to do good work. Intern Choi is generally enthusiastic. But Hwang is not happy, because he’s heard that this unit leads nowhere, b had offered to do anything if Prosecutor Min would help him out solving a case and Min did. See, Min is the very Vampire Prosecutor of the title. He was already good at blood spatter analysis, but now that he is a vampire, he can envision the death of a victim precisely. As he stands at the crime scene with only Det. Hwang staying quietly out of the way, he observes the blood spatter rise up and trace its journey backwards into the victim until he sees exactly how the victim died. You might think the visuals were adopted from Hannibal‘s Will Graham, but Vampire Prosecutor aired in 2011. The second season aired in 2012. Hannibal premiered in 2013.

If necessary, Prosecutor Min can take it further and drink a vial of the victim’s blood he obtains from the coroner. Coroner Yoon (Jang Young-nam) thinks he collects blood samples from his cases, but kinda creepily she doesn’t judge him. (Pehaps she watches Dexter). Second season’s Coroner Jo (Lee Kyoung-young) continues giving Min samples, but is more suspicious. When Min drinks the victim’s blood, we follow the blood down his espophagus into his circulatory system, into his brain and finally see the victim’s death as they did. Drinking a dead person’s blood, however, causes a vampire great pain and both Hwang and Min’s source of information and ethically sourced non-dead person blood at the mysterious night club** he goes to try to dissuade him from the practice. But sometimes it’s the only way to catch a murderer.

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But what kind of vampire could be a prosecutor? Does he only take cases in night court? (Stop trying to be funny). Prosecutor Min isn’t your usual Dracula. He’s more like Carmilla. Dracula endured a kind of sleep paralysis during the day and avoided the sun. Sheridan Le Fanu’s Carmilla, however, was only a little sleepy during the day and was unaffected by the sun at all. Unlike Dracula, Prosecutor Min can operate in the daytime and doesn’t burst into flames when exposed to the sun. And unlike Carmilla, he doesn’t experience a strange langor in the daytime. He might even be able to drink wine. In fact, Prosecutor Min has one up on both, he’s perfectly fine during the day. His only real problem is that he can’t take his team out to dinner like a boss should. Hwang understands, but Prosecutor Yoo and Intern Choi see it as strange, although in keeping with his aloof manner.Beyond limiting his capacity for team-building, Min’s vampirism doesn’t interfere much with his ability to perform his duties.

Vampirism aside, the relationship between the prosecutor’s office and the police is one of Vampire Prosecutor‘s creeper elements, as is Min’s tolerance for Det. Hwang’s “old school Seoul” methods. Det. Hwang is a good detective in the sense that he gets results, but his methods involve bullying, threats, violence, sketchy deals and discussions of nose-picking. Hwang bullies and threatens informants and suspects. He hits them and threatens to arrest them for crimes they might not have committed. He breaks and enters as part of his investigation. And he just walks around with food hanging out of his mouth sometimes. I would hope that if there is ever a Vampire Prosecutor 3, Hwang is prosecuted for his many incidents of brutality. Hwang is supposed to stand in for the everyman, not the cool ideal of Prosecutor Min or the hardworking, innovative Yoo or the tech and pop culture savviness of Intern Choi, the youngest member of the team. He’s the old cop who knows Seoul’s dark places like the back of his hand. He’s also the first to lower his speech, removing honorifics and using more intimate forms of address. It gets complicated with his colleagues. He is older than Min, but Min is his boss. He is friends with Min, so offers to “treat him like a younger brother.”

With Yoo it is even more complicated. She is a younger woman and still his superior. When he mocks her investigative methods in favor of his own, he begins removing honorifics and Korean’s very careful series of polite verb endings because for him, there is an inversion going on between experience, age, gender and who exactly should be speaking up to whom. Later on, there is a cute friendship between the rough-and-ready Hwang and the elegant and reserved Coroner Jo. They try to speak to each other as older and younger brother, but it’s so awkward for the refined Jo that they give up and stay the friends they are.

The series has a nice balance between weekly cases and an ongoing arc over twelve episodes. His first case concerns a copycat vampire killing, resembling the one at the scene where he was bitten. And over the course of twelve episodes, we learn more about the vampire killings and more about how exactly Min became a vampire. Just when you settle into the rhythm of the weekly case, the arc picks up, reminding us that the series’ opening car chase is still on Min’s mind. He pursued a suspect. There was an accident on the highway. And his suspect is stabbed by another man in a baseball cap and plastic rain poncho***, who sets the car on fire with a lighter engraved with sinister European occult symbols. And then Min was bitten. In Vampire Prosecutor, vampires only transform the first victim they bite. Min kept the lighter from the scene of the crim and by the end of Vampire Prosecutor 1, discovers a law firm using the same occult symbols and we are hunting more vampires who went to law school.****

Airing about one year later, Vampire Prosecutor 2 is darker, which is saying something. And Prosecutor Min begins to wear less interesting jackets, after the events of season one. Vampire Prosecutor 2 starts much more harshly than Vampire Prosecutor 1. It opens with a government official being rushed to the hospital after being shot by a sniper during a speech. The motorcade is stopped by soldiers who turn their guns on the motorcade and take the minister. They say that they are taking him to “our hospital.” The hospital turns out to be a secret facility run by a mad scientist who is performing experiments on some poor man kept chained and masked. Informed that the government official must be kept alive, the scientist transfuses blood from the masked prisoner. And as the be-suited men hunting the minister arrive, the minister sits up and hisses, transformed into a vampire himself.

This sequence has a lot of historical resonance. South Korean dictator Park Chung-hee was assassinated in 1979 by a rival faction in the government. In fact, one of his close friends shot him at a dinner in a secure facility. There was an earlier attempt in 1974, in which Park survived but his wife did not. There is a lot of resonance in this moment and in 2005, Im Sang-soo released his black comedy, The President’s Last Bang, covering the last few hours of Park’s life and the immediate fall-out of his assassination. The President’s Last Bang was intensely controversial in South Korea for its depiction of Park and about 4 minutes of the film were censored—and subsequently shown internationally with a blank screen during the censored footage. This opening scene in Vampire Prosecutor 2 has more resonance with the earlier failed assassination attempt in 1974, when a man fired at the stage while Park was giving a speech celebrating the end of colonial rule in South Korea. In the historical event, the assassin missed Park but killed Park’s wife, Yuk Young-soo. Their daughter, Park Guen-hye was just impeached and arrested for corruption. When Vampire Prosecutor aired, was a representative in the Korean parliament and the leader of the Grand National Party. I can’t say if the arrival of a new, much more politically minded and politically vicious female chief prosecutor, Joo Hyun-ah (Kim Bo-young), is related to Park Guen-hye’s ascension, but it is interesting.

So Vampire Prosecutor‘s secret bunker and draculized government official is not the same, but any event where a government official is shot by other scheming government officials who try to cover it up is resonant. And it sets the stage for a darker and more broadly political Vampire Prosecutor. The second season addresses secrets the Korean government keeps. Secrets that involve torture and hearken back to the days of dictatorship. At the same time, it cuts close again emotionally as Min tries to protect his team. We learn more about Coroner Jo, and he takes in Ji-ae, a little girl who was left at a crime scene.

She is part of the overarching focus on the ways that any crime’s ramifications move through time. We end the season with questions and unresolved issues that will probably never be answered or resolved. And while Vampire Prosecutor 2 was a more fragmented and uneven season than Vampire Prosecutor, I do want to know what happens to Min Tae-yeon and everyone else.

There were rumors that there would be a Vampire Prosecutor 3 and I had hopes, even as Dexter ended and then Hannibal came and went, that there would be another show with blood spatter in its opening credits. I even did some promotion of What We Do In The Shadows and SPL 2 making references to Vampire Prosecutor, but still no Vampire Prosecutor 3. Ultimately, OCN produced a spin-off in 2016, Vampire Detective. I tried, but couldn’t get into it. Vampire Detective Yook San’s casual wear just couldn’t compete with Prosecutor Min’s sharp suits and interesting jackets. But maybe it’s been long enough that I can let Vampire Detective do its own thing. At least it doesn’t have Detective Hwang, though first time I watched, Yook San did have a good friend with gross eating habits. On the other hand, there was at least one instance of a villain with flair.

*Donnie Yen is going to play Vampire Prosecutor in the inevitable Hong Kong television adaptation. He will wear no shirt and grappling will central to his Vampire Prosecutor process. I will also note that someone else who becomes a vampire during the course of the show also begins wearing interesting jackets once he is draculized.

**The first time we enter the mysterious night club where Min goes for information about the man who bit him and murdered his suspect—and gets a glass of blood while he does—there is a song about “camping” in videogames playing.

***I would like to add that I love that this man is terrifying, but not cool. The plastic rain poncho is a great detail.

****POSSIBLE SPOILER: In fact, vampire prosecutor Min might prosecute not only a vampire, but a vampire prosecutor…

~~~

A vampire prosecutor would prosecute as many vampire prosecutors as a vampire prosecutor could, if a vampire prosecutor could prosecute vampire prosecutors, Carol Borden finally says. Vampire Prosecutor and Vampire Detective are both availabla online via Drama Fever.

The Dark Delights and Sharp Suits of Vampire Prosecutor This month is our annual Switcheroo Month, so Comics Editor Carol is leaving comics behind and writing about the South Korean television drama, …

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fanficparker · 5 years

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Faking, Falling > Part 3

Harrison Osterfield x Reader (Fake dating! Unrequited love switcheroo!)

Word count: ~3.3k words

Warning: Swearing, Angst.

Summary: Positive or negative intentions yet the results do look pleasant but for how long?

<< PART 2 [ MASTERLIST ] PART 4 >>

"I am taking the day off early." You tell Jade, making sure Harrison was nearby and could hear you clearly.

"You seem excited, is there something special?"

You look at Harrison through your peripheral vision, who was just sitting ten feet from you, reading his script. But as much as you know him, you were sure his concentration was not on his script but on you. Completing almost one and a half month here on set you knew if you and he were in the same room, his mind was always wandering around you. Well, you would be more than pleased to get the eyes of the blonde who has the ability to get everyone's eyes on him, only if he wasn't a jerk. You were sure the only reason he had is eyes on you was to search for a perfect opportunity to belittle you or to make fun of you in some way or the other like he does every time.

But this time was different. You wanted to belittle him. Everyone who works on this set very well knew Simon and Harrison never got well. They had arguments every now and then and it would be really cool to show how his enemy was far better than him.

A smirk played on your lips as he stole glances at you thinking you weren't noticing. Idiot. You turned your attention back on Jade as you spoke further, "Simon asked me out! And now we have a date tonight, of course, I am excited."

"Really? But you told me just a week before that you weren't ready to date after-" She paused turning her head to see Harrison in the corner and then back at you, afraid she would speak anything that could hurt you. But you completed her sentence yourself.

"After that arsehole pulled that prank on me? Pfft." You were louder than you should for a bilateral conversation with Jade because it was with someone else. She looked surprised at your confidence level and that you were so comfortable saying Harrison 'arsehole' when he could easily hear.

"Look I thought about it and came to a conclusion. I am sure every fucking person on this planet is better than him and Simon... Simon hates him, I hate him. It's a perfect match!" You sounded as if it was a sure thing. You could feel Harrison's gaze on you, making you almost chuckle but you successfully hid it under a fake cough.

"Okay. I am happy for you." Jade said although you were sure her approval only translated to 'but Y/n that's not a very reliable reason to date someone.'

"Yeah, anything except that arsehole makes me happy." You smirked turning giving him a look and walking back to your designing room.

"Mate, I think she was referring to you." Harrison's co-star Greg whispered in his ear.

"Fuck off!" He mumbled and slammed his script on the front table, getting up and walking to your room.

"Seems like we aren't on good terms, specky."

You heard his voice behind you as you continue to sew your costume.

Without looking at him you clearly stated, "Next time make sure to knock before entering."

"Excuse me, what?"

"Looks like you need to get your hearing checked." You said finally looking at him. His jaws dropped yet again. You could see him struggling to take in your changed behaviour, which simply means - your faking game was working fine.

"You have changed," He said quietly.

"Guess it's a change for good."

For like minutes he just stared at your eyes as if he was trying to read them. It felt like he was searching for the part of you that you no matter how much you acted to be confident yet get flustered at his sight or snarky comments. You didn't give in, maintaining firm eye contact. He licked his lips and you could see the clear movements in his Adam's apple.

Harrison Osterfield was nervous and you were the reason behind it.

"Did it really hurt you that bad?" His voice was barely a whisper but still, you could clearly make out his words.

"Like you care, Osterfield."

He exhaled deeply.

"Yeah, you are right. I don't care."

"Good for you. Looks like the hatred is mutual."

"Never said it was hatred---"

"Action speaks louder than words..." A third voice interrupted before Harrison could complete himself. You and he both turned to see Simon standing by the door, holding a bunch of costumes. He was also you assistant after all.

"I am sorry if that sounded cliché but Y/n surely isn't enjoying your company." He said entering inside, keeping the costumes on the table and faced Harrison.

"You are no one to speak for her," Harrison spoke with gritted teeth.

"Well for your kind information, we are going on a date to---"

"That still doesn't make you speak for her. You aren't her boyfriend."

"At least she doesn't hate me," Simon said, standing just two inches from Harrison. The scene that played in front of your eyes seemed a lot more serious than you expected, making you quietly stand there and listen.

"Well, she will definitely hate you if I tell what you really do." The corners of Harrison's lips tugged into a light smirk.

"Ensure you have enough proofs before opening your mouth, Osterfield. We both know whom Y/n will trust otherwise."

Harrison smile fell and now Simon was the one confidently grinning. Harrison shifted his gaze towards you and then back at him. He exhaled again and walked from the side, saying nothing, leaving you and Simon alone in the room. Simon turned to look at you, giving a bright smile but it didn't do anything to the sinking, dark feeling in your abdomen. Their conversation was so shady that it made you sick.

"Aww come on Y/n, don't listen to him. Just two more hours of work and we are free!" He cheered to which you smiled (fake, obviously) but still you believed in him more than Harrison which let you sigh and calm yourself.

* * *

Two hours went by really slow but they did anyway. Simon asked you to leave together but you told him to leave first as you had to do finish the last tid-bits of your designs.

"I will be at Regan's Diner at 7. Can't wait to see you there!" And then he left when you concentrated back at your costume. You sighed, stretching your arms, relaxing. You glanced at your phone.

"Shit!" You jolted up from your seat, it was already 6:25 pm, you were late by 20 mins. You needed time to go back home, get dressed and then reach the restaurant. You cursed under your breath, assembling your stuff and shoving it into your handbag. Accidentally your phone slipped landing on the soft carpet beneath your table. You zipped up your bag, oblivious to your missing phone and rushed outside. You almost bumped into that blue eyes notorious blonde but stabilised yourself before you could collide. He gave you a blank look and you ignored him, walking out and driving to your home.

* * *

It was just five-minute past and Harrison couldn't find any interest in rehearsing his role. The conversation between him and you played over and over again in his head. If your date with Simon goes well, he would no more be able to follow you around or see your flattered or maybe annoyed expression. The thought of completely distancing himself from you made his stomach churn. But he doesn't care, right?

But you weren't wrong... He did feel guilty of what he did now.

No. No... He doesn't care about you or anyone... He isn't guilty.

It was your life, your date, whatever it was it had nothing to do with him. Maybe it was good for both of you. If he could survive without Tom and his company then he was sure he could definitely survive without interacting with you. You, who was basically nothing for him... He shook his head at all these annoying self debates going in his mind and he decided to take a break too. He finally called it a day off. He was about to walk out of the building when Greg called him.

"George asked you to keep all your costumes arranged as Simon & Y/n both have already left."

"Yeah yeah, no need to explain..." He rolled his eyes, dramatically.

Thank you Greg for making the day hundred percent better! He placed his costume in the wardrobe stand and then heard the sound of a chime. He checked his phone, but there was nothing. He again heard the sound and this time his gaze landed on the phone lying beneath the table. He picked it up, realising it was your phone. He would have not cared even a little bit if the 'two new messages' notification didn't show the name, Simon.

Don't open the message. Don't open the message...

And then he did... You didn't put a lock-screen password and Harrison felt calm blaming it on you.

Simon [6:35 pm]: Hey Y/n. I m really sorry but I got stuck in some important work. Can we plz meet at 9:30 instead of 7?

Simon [6:35 pm]: Tell me if this works for you. And I m really sorry for changing the plans on last minute.

Harrison read through the messages, rolling his eyes as if it was the most stupid message of all time. The phone chimed again.

Simon [6:36 pm]: Waiting for your reply <3

"Look how fucking excited this bastard is!" Harrison mumbled.

Maybe he does deserve a reply...

Harrison's fingers danced on the phone screen without thinking twice.

You would have put in a password if you were too bothered.

Y/n [6:38 pm]: No problem. See you at 9:30 then.

And the phone chimed again.

Fucking desperate!

Simon [6:38 pm]: Great. Can't wait to see you ;)

"Haha... Like she'll wait for you till nine-thirty!" Harrison finally felt a bit relieved from today's incident. A proud smile formed on his lips. He debated whether to keep the phone with him or leave it here... But first he should delete this conversation and he did.

Wait... What if he hands you back this phone himself? And enjoy your and Simon's date... Sounds like a plan to him.

He slipped the phone in his jacket and eagerly drove to your house, smiling proudly. He parked the car in the driveway and didn't waste a single minute ringing your door-bell.The door opened a minute later.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"Thank you for being so polite. I really appreciate," Harrison chuckled at your annoyed voice. His eyes travelled from your head to toe, taking in your complete look. There were a hairbrush and a lipstick in your hands. Your hairs were half combed. You were wearing a blue knee-length dress, and the ribbons on your sleeves were still untied. You looked like you were rushing.

Yeah, rushing... For your date.

"Tell me what's your work I literally am getting really late and can't even find my fucking phone!" You growled looking at the wall clock showing 6:59 pm already.

"Well maybe this is yours," Harrison said taking out your phone. You looked at his hand and instantly snatched the device out.

"Oh God! Where do you get this?"

"Really Y/n. Your guest serving etiquette is kinda fucked up." He said leaning at your door frame as you checked your phone.

* * *

You were absolutely confused to see Harrison at your doorstep but because you were already late for your date, you didn't want to waste any more time thinking about any possibilities. But now he was here, safely handing you your phone. It's true you haven't forgiven Harrison for what he did and neither ever he asked for any apologies making you want to continue this hating game. You won't be lying if you say - you were actually enjoying it. It was easy to hate him than to deal with any other feeling. Maybe this crush was dying slowly, slowly. Everything you ever wanted...

But right now, he came to return you his phone and maybe he was right. It deserved a thank you.

"Oh sorry. Thank you but really where did you get it?"

"Beneath your table."

"God! I am such an idiot... " You laughed and damn, something in his heart stopped working. He glanced at your face, how your eyes squinted forming little creases along the corners and how your lips parted ever so slightly. He has always been the sole reason for your sadness & anger. But seeing you smile and laugh because of him automatically made his own lips tug into a small smile, his eyes still concentrated on your face.

Your laugh died down as a nervous chuckle in the end when you noticed his intense gaze on you.

"I-uh... I am getting late. You make yourself at home till I get ready." You tucked a hair strand behind your ear looking at your feet. You heard Harrison lightly cough, maybe to lighten the thickening air between you both.

"Yeah."

After five minutes you showed up again cursing about already being super late.

"I should call Simon. Maybe he thinks I am flaking out!" And before you could search for his contact, your phone was snatched from your hand. Your eyes shot up only to meet Harrison's icy blue ones.

"What are doing? It's just six-ten. You don't need to call him." He told.

"But I have to reach Regan's Diner too---"

"It's just five minutes from here. I'll drive you there. You don't wanna look like an idiot apologizing for just 15 minutes..." He handed you the phone back.

"You-you will drop me?" You asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, why not. Now hurry up, you don't wanna waste any time, right?" He already opened your main door signalling you to move out.

Was it right for you to go with Harrison when you already knew how much Simon hated him?

"Y/n, we are getting late!" He yelled standing near his car, giving you no time to think too much. You would have straight away denied if you weren't so punctual and being already late wasn't making you feel guilty.

The drive was silent and you couldn't thank less. You were panicking for your date but he was panicking about something else.

What if you come to know about those messages he sent and then deleted?

"Hey hey stop, we came ahead!" You said and Harrison instantly pulled the breaks.

"Ah, sorry, I was thinking about something."

When did Harrison Osterfield start saying sorry?

"Thanks for dropping me by the way," You smiled genuinely to which he nodded. You rushed inside the restaurant asking for your reserved seat. The waiter gave you the seat and you came to know Simon didn't arrive yet.

Good, you didn't call him.

7:40 pm and Simon didn't show up yet. You rubbed the skin of your arms in concern and embarrassment or maybe shame. You tried to divert your attention by scrolling through Instagram on your phone when you heard the noise of a chair pulling in front of you. Your head shot up only to see Harrison...

"Harrison? You didn't go?---"

"Saw you waiting and well... Guess my doubts were real!"

"What guess?"

He took a seat continuing, "Simon isn't going to come. He is a jerk, he likes flaking out---"

"At least, he isn't doing anything you did at Rick's party!" You spoke straight.

"Oh, come' on. Can we just forget it." He groaned stretching his back into the chair.

"You didn't even say sorry or anything regarding it. I have the right to carry whatever feeling I have for that incident and you." You said, one hand resting on your chin while the other mindlessly making invisible patterns on the table cloth. Harrison sighed and rubbed his palms over his eyes lightly.

"Okay okay... I get it. Sorry. I am really sorry. Now can we just forget it?"

The corners of your lips tugged upwards, a small smile forming.

"Will think about it..." You said slowly.

"Hello, sir and ma'am would you like to order something?" The waitress asked coming to your table, a big smile on her face.

"Umm... Actually, someone still didn't arrive---"

"Yeah, we can start with some starters... Cheese rolls, soup. Are you good with that?" Harrison interrupted you. He looked at you and you didn't understand what to answer so nodded.

"Thank you, just give us five minutes and hope you both are enjoying your date..."

"We--no..." You tried to clarify but the waitress had already walked away. You hated it but your cheeks felt warm making you look down at the table. An uncomfortable silence enveloping the two of you.

Harrison fake coughed to get you attention, "Umm, so for how long are you been here, in London?"

You looked up at him, a bit astonished to see him actually starting a good conversation.

"Well, two years. I came here to learn from some big fashion designers basically thought of getting an internship at Joshua Kane but guess they didn't need interns." You gasped.

"So, you came here to get a job at JK?" He leaned towards the table.

"No. For learning. I actually would love ṭo start my own brand. Basically, it's my dream, goal. There's just too much competition. Seems like everyone is better than me." You pursed your lips, looking at the glass of water blankly.

"Your work is personally my favourite. I mean it doesn't look like you are any less than professionals."

No. No... That feeling you hated it. Those butterflies... Harrison Osterfield... Not a good combination.

"You're just bluffing." You say, smiling shyly.

"Don't believe me but my fortune cookie did tell me that." He lightly chuckled.

"So, you believe in those?"

"Come on Y/n. I am saying the truth..."

"Thank you..."

"Your order." The waitress served your starters.

...

"Well, then see you tomorrow..."He dropped you back home.

"Yeah..." As he left you raced inside your house almost squealing in excitement. Changing your clothes you got into your bed. You replayed your time with Harrison this evening. Your phone rang and you absolutely blocked Simon's number the exact minute he called. He flaked out in your eyes after all. But then your phone chimed.

A new message.

Jade [10:45 pm]: How was your date?

You smiled at the message and wrote without thinking twice.

Y/n [10:45 pm]: Fucking awesome!

-----------------------------------------------

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funnynewsheadlines · 4 years

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Boyfriend Goes Above And Beyond To Eat The Last Dorito Without His GF Knowing, And His Hilarious Plan Works

Soon after the deal, Chuck came up with a genius plan: replace the delicious snack with a replica and devour it all by himself. The perfect crime.

Not only did he go above and beyond to recreate the Dorito, but Chuck also pulled off the old switcheroo to the T, leaving his girlfriend totally clueless. That is, if nobody tells her…

“I’m working on making a paper mache replica, so I can steal it and eat it without her knowing”

“I used wet toilet paper to sculpt a basic Dorito triangle. Added a little glue and yellow and ocher watercolor for color and structure”

“I put the ‘chip’ in my toaster oven to dry it out”

His 10 min joke eventually turned into a 3-hour mission, and he wasn’t even done.

“Added a little more color and glue, then let the “chip” dry overnight draped over an old pen, to give it the same wave form as the original”

“With the basic chip done and dry, I tried to figure out the distinctive Cool Ranch Doritos seasoning, red and green specks”

“Silver lining: Cutting open the bag gave me access to some missed crumbs”

“Solution: I used a needle to paint Cool Ranch red and green specks on my forgery”

Finished “chip”

“Boom!”

“What do you think? I don’t think she’ll ever know”

Image credits: ideasbychuck

“We need funny things right now,�� Chuck said, admitting he and his girlfriend will probably get more Doritos the next time they go to the store.

People loved the funny story

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