#didier | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

secretcalzonewinnersuitcase · 10 months ago

Text

>>The world of the unconsciousness

In the place where the Victory Church is located, a realm where fragments of the minds of people living in this world float about like stars and threads in a chaotic manner. The number of floating objects drifting in this space is more than double the number of people, but this realm is several hundred times more vast, making it unlikely for them to collide, and it is so dark that even if they do meet, it is difficult to observe.

Ordinary people cannot perceive this space. It is, quite literally, the realm of the unconscious. Even if they encounter it under special circumstances, it is easily dismissed as a dream. Even if they experience it under special circumstances, it is easy to dismiss it as a dream. Usually, the opportunity to experience this realm arises from a strong and shocking experience akin to 'standing on the boundary of life and death,' when the soul is separated from the body and the physical form suffers great harm.

If one is granted access by some 'transcendent being' that defies human common sense, such cases are exceedingly rare, so let’s skip that. There are also 'wanderers' who wander here forever due to such coincidences. (A vegetative state is a typical example.) They spend a long time ruminating on solitude in a dark place and eventually disappear, leaving behind a 'star'.

Another object floating in this place, aside from stars, is 'threads'. The 'threads' are connected to the minds of people living in the present world. Similar to how aquatic plants sway lightly and faintly as they rise to the surface, these threads can be gently grasped and ridden down. If you hold the end of the thread and carefully ride it down, it may one day reach the heart of the person in question.

That person is like a thread. It doesn't mean that humanity is literally made of silk threads, but since it is akin to mental lifespan, it may be similar. As people live their lives, they leave behind 'threads' in this place. The time they have lived, their emotions, experiences, and so on are woven together, gradually lengthening the threads. Therefore, it is easier to find the ends of the threads for older individuals.

If someone wishes to continue living happily, they can draw their threads closer to the present world and rewind the threads. However, if they are in despair and no longer wish to live, the threads will helplessly unravel in this place that resembles the afterlife.

Those who have managed to protect their threads until the end have a higher chance of being reborn as complete threads after death, if all the threads have unraveled to the point where they cannot be rewound, they become completely tangled, making rebirth difficult. Even if they are born with some semblance of a thread, the tangled nature of their existence means they cannot untangle properly, resulting in a distorted being.

This is merely a hypothesis based on shallow facts, observed and experienced by someone who existed in this world. Perhaps there are even more undiscovered truths. This place is akin to another universe.

When a person dies, they become a star. Even if they are reborn to live a completely new life, the 'star' remains as a trace of their past.

It’s quite a fairy-tale-like sentence, but did this wanderer truly catch their first star with nothing but the innocence of a child? Perhaps they were already going mad from long solitude. How did they even become a wanderer in the first place?

Eventually, that place became the biggest ‘star’ that served as a guide for all wanderers. That place is the ‘site of the Victory Church’.

>>Victory Church

No matter where you are in the world of the unconscious, if you can reach the only materialized land that appears as a bright dot anywhere in the unconscious world, you can reach it. It is like a mobile city, so it is not strange to exist anywhere and at any time.

The city is filled with buildings of a chaotic mix of medieval and modern architecture, but it is hard to find any residents walking around the streets. There is a strong sense of emptiness in the city. In the center stands a noticeably large cathedral.

There seems to be no daytime, the chilly weather usually continues through the fall and winter nights. It rains and snows occasionally, and in rare cases, severe cold occurs.

If you are looking for someone, you have to go inside the cathedral, but the main door of the cathedral is always open, so it is not difficult to get in. However, if you wish to live there, you must go through a difficult admission process.

If a wanderer with loosely unraveled threads reaches this place, the cult leader will sever everything that connects them to the present world. Although it takes the form of an oath, its purpose is to ensnare and foster blind devotion to the religion.

What this church does is simple. They descend along the threads to kill and ruin the individuals, mercilessly tugging on the threads, or tying them up... such chaotic acts.

To put it bluntly, their goal is to disturb and manipulate people's hearts, to control them, leading them to kill one another and ultimately bring about destruction and the end.

'Then we will win against them.'

This is the ultimate goal of most 'ordinary believers', but it seems that the thoughts of the priests and the cult leader differ somewhat. Many priests believe that the cult leader already has other goals.

The cult leader and the initial members contributed to shaping the city and cathedral through special measures from the leader. As they began to take an interest in or even worship 'a certain being' around the cult leader, the group gradually took on the appearance of a religious organization.

While most factions were established and responsible priests were appointed, the Spade faction remained vacant for a long time without an Ace priest. The Spade office clearly existed, and its living quarters were set up, but no one was seen and access was prohibited. During this vacancy, Aruell took on some of the duties of the Spade faction.

And when D appeared, the cult leader immediately appointed them as the Ace priest of Spade. Even Jack and Queen don't know the exact reason for this.

⚠️Occasionally, abandoned stars and severed threads may cluster together to form a 'cocoon,' and it is unknown what kind of being may be born from it, so be sure to remove them as soon as you find them to eliminate any potential risks.

Anyway, just know that they’re engaging in cult-like nonsense against this background.

A caterpillar grew up and became a chrysalis, then split its shell and became a butterfly.

One day, the butterfly thought:

'What if what I shed wasn’t just a simple shell, but perhaps I left behind an important part of myself and lost it? Will the caterpillar me still be there?'

The butterfly's thoughts did not last long.

This was because its beautifully transformed wings got caught in a spider's web.

(*Original link: https://x.com/Null_Hutsori/status/1726231039331430802

*Disclaimer: The English translation belongs to me.)

#Lorica Amabilis #Victorism #Info #NuEul #D #Didier #Ai #Aruell

2 notes · View notes

secretcalzonewinnersuitcase · 10 months ago

Text

Didier's basic settings

Didier Bernardo

A descendant of the Sheep Tribe. As the name suggests, she carries the blood of sheep beastmen. Her mother was a half-human, half-sheep beastman, and her father was a human. This makes her a quarter-blooded hybrid. That's why she has far fewer sheep-like features than other beastmen. Aside from her hair texture and horns, she's almost entirely human.

There are many species living in this world, yet people have a foolish habit of ostracizing anything that deviates from their standard of normalcy. After all, they are all just different branches of organic life, all part of the same evolutionary branch of life.

Anyway, Didier was not a genetic anomaly, but she was still the target of ostracism. Sheep beastmen, human. She didn't belong to either side.

Neither sheep beastmen nor humans are fundamentally physically strong species, but Didier was the weakest among them. From birth, she was frail and underweight, and as she grew up, her physical strength remained weak, preventing her from doing many things. For this reason, she spent most of her early childhood in the safety of her mother’s arms, under her protection.

"Mother, how can I survive in this world when I am so weak? I don't know. Everyone in the village scares me... and the other kids don’t really like me..."

"No, that’s not true, my love. There’s a reason everyone is born the way they are. People are beautiful when they learn to love and grow into themselves. Didier, you must love yourself."

But the time she spent with her parents didn't last very long. Her father died of illness shortly after Didier was born, and her mother succumbed to the same fate when Didier was around 7 years old. Thus, Didier became an orphan at a young age. And as a child without a caregiver and with an appearance that was different from the rest of her race, she was even more easily ostracized.

To a child, their parents are their entire world, so, Didier—trapped in an isolated, suffocating community—was left with no choice but to flee.

In this way, she broke free from the confines of the Sheep Tribe’s village and descended into a human-dominated town, a place home to many different races.

With the mindset of a naive child who hasn't even turned ten, she might have thought, 'If I just run away from that place, maybe everything will work out somehow,' but the world outside was far more difficult for a child to survive in alone than she could imagine. She was exposed to the dark side of the world. An innocent child was exposed to raw selfishness, hatred, and violence at every turn.

Immoral adults, realized she was without a guardian, reach out their selfish, worldly, ugly hands to mold the child to their own liking, steeped in selfishness. Everywhere she looked, the world was filled with people who only sought to use her, to threaten her very existence.

The Sheep Tribe’s village had been oppressive in its own way, but at least there had been some sense of kinship among the beastmen. Here, in this merciless human world, things were even harsher, colder, and more brutal.

The helpless child endlessly runs away and wanders around the human village. She begged for scraps to survive and ran as fast as she could to avoid getting caught. There was no time for kindness, no room for a soft heart. Sheep may be herbivores by nature, but in this world, the only way to survive was to become a beast. All that remains for the child is the wooden cross left by her mother.

Even though her family had never been particularly religious, her mother would often call upon God in difficult times, sometimes as a joke, sometimes in genuine desperation. For her, God was just a concept to turn to in times of need, but for the child, it became the only thing she had left to rely on. So she clutched the wooden cross, and prayed to God, 'Please take me to my mother'.

And then, one day, a savior appeared in the life of the young lamb.

A being named Seven (relationship character). He resembles a human but is not one, and appears to be slightly older than herself. He takes in the pitiful young lamb, gives her a place to live, and raises her. By living together, he gave the child who had nowhere to rely on a place to lean on.

The exact age difference between Didier and Seven... was it about 5-6 years? (I should ask the creator again.) Didier and Seven grew up together, forming a close bond like family. Seven became Didier’s guardian, looking after the weak young lamb like a protective older brother, while Didier looked up to Seven with deep trust and admiration and followed him like a real older sibling. To Didier, he was the new object of her attachment and love—her entire world.

'I want to live with Seven even when I grow up. I want to stay by his side for the rest of my life. I want to live for Seven.' Perhaps that’s what Didier truly wished for. But the world, harsh and merciless, did not allow her fleeting stability to last.

Around the time she turned 13, Seven disappeared. He left home one day and never came back.

At first, Didier held onto hope, clinging to her faith in Seven and their unbreakable bond while grappling with her anxiety. 'He must have just gotten lost. Maybe he's busy... Perhaps he went to buy cake for me but the shop was closed, and now he’s stuck somewhere. If I just wait patiently, maybe he’ll come home with my favorite cookies and greet me like always...' But three days passed, and Seven did not return.

Didier could no longer endure the anxiety and fear, she ran out into the streets, searching for Seven. She pleaded with the adults she knew to help her printed crude missing posters and used her small hands to paste them onto telephone poles. One day, when an adult scolded her for putting up posters in the wrong place, the child begged with tears in her eyes, "Seven hasn’t come home. What am I supposed to do?"

That all-too-familiar sense of abandonment came crashing down. She never wanted to feel this way again, but why is the world so cruel? The powerless young child wandered the streets, sobbing in the middle of the road, desperately searching for the only person she had left. Even as she tripped and fell, scraping her knees, even as she was scolded and pushed away, she didn't care, 'As long as Seven comes back, I don’t care about anything else.'

Then, through her tear-filled vision, Didier saw a figure passing by. A girl with striking long white hair. A gloomy black dress, out of place in this era. Her ethereal and otherworldly appearance captivated young Didier. To the young, desperate Didier, she seemed almost like a hidden deity among humans.

With such childish thoughts, she unconsciously reached out and grabbed her hand.

...She shouldn't have done that.

"Please help me find someone. Please help me."

The white-haired girl seemed to be only slightly older or about the same age as her, but her expression was dark and heavy with sorrow. She looked the child up and down with her lifeless eyes before she slowly extended her own hand toward her. It could be called an act of kindness, an offer of assistance, but that hand, that one moment of desperation and trust, would twist her fate forever, dragging her into ruin.

"...Would you like to look for them together until they comes back? That person."

"I can help you. I'll show you how."

The alluring voice and words reached the desperate child. The naive, desperate little lamb was drawn in. For that person, she was willing to do anything.

"I... I can’t do this. Since I was little, I’ve never... "

Didier’s small hands trembled, and the blade slipped from her grasp.

"Can you really just give up like this? Both your willpower and physical abilities are below average. What can you possibly do if you can't even wield this small sword properly? Do you know how scary and cruel this world that swallowed that precious person of yours whole is?"

The white-haired girl gazed at the young lamb with icy eyes. Is it contempt that colors those eyes? Or was it pressure directed at her? The girl, who had long since lost her innocent and childlike spirit, gave off an air of domineering that did not fit her mid-teens physique.

"That's not it, I really can't do it. It's too heavy... this sword. Even with a glass bottle, if it weren’t for Seven, I..."

"Clinging to someone who isn’t here is pointless. You can't reach them anymore."

"...If there is something you want to get back, go beyond your limits. Desperately yearn for it. Throw away all your tears and weakness. Trash them."

The white girl spoke in a heavy voice, as if she, too, was bound by chains of the past.

"In this world, if you have no power, you are nothing. No one listens to your voice. No one cares! ...Do you know why? Because you're useless, you're not worth looking at."

The white girl let out a bitter sneer. Her gaze flickered toward the dropped sword as she rolled her eyes at Didier. Her look was piercing.

"...You can't do it? It seems you're not desperate enough yet?"

The young lamb thought to herself.

'Ah, Mother, you always told me that people are beautiful just as they are, that we should embrace who we are and grow from there.

...But in the end, was I just useless after all? Maybe even that person got sick of me being like this.'

The reason he left was because I was too weak. Because I couldn't be of any help. Because I did nothing but whine about how hard everything was. If I can't even endure this girl's training, if I can't even withstand that girl's one-sided violence under the guise of training, then it's because I'm weak. Because I’m just an idiot who can't even open a glass bottle by myself.

It was a kind of brainwashing. Her chest ached, overflowing with desperation and self-loathing, and the thought that all of this was because of her own weakness made her so angry at herself.

A storm of emotions swirled inside her: fury, shame, regret—all directed at herself. In a fit of rage, half-filled with anger and despair, she grabbed the sword and shattered the training dummy infront of her. The beginning of her strength was not determination, not justice, but self-hatred and a desire for destruction.

The white-haired girl spoke.

“...Look, you can swing that sword now. See, you can do it."

'If the reason I can't meet that person again is because of my weakness, then I will cut it all off.'

From that point on, Didier lived for one, singular purpose, to become strong enough to return to Seven. Nothing else mattered. She don't even remember how she spent those days. All that remained was a simple, brutal conclusion... once she return to that person, she will burn this entire place to the ground.

As the days passed, the young lamb, consumed by rage, shattered all the training dummy prepared for him until not even dust remained. The debris piled up like a mountain of corpses, and before she knew it, she had become strong enough to knock down most people. She felt guilty at first, but now she has become numb to it.

'Yes, I can do this. If I can just go back to him, it'll all be worth it.'

Previously, she was merely a knight in service to the white-haired girl serving as a direct guard under the King’s command. It was not until she was 18 that she took up the vacant title of Jack of Intrepidity.

By then, it was hard to find her previous frail appearance as a young lamb. She was nicknamed ‘a wolf in sheep’s clothing’ by her fellow believers. As she becomes an adult, like those immoral adults, she becomes resigned to the world and compromises with reality.

Then, one day, the adult lamb received a proposal from the cult leader.

"...I’ve found that person. Would you like to meet him?"

It happened so absurdly and suddenly one day.

The person I wanted to meet so much, whose name had begun to fade in the endless cycle of death and resurrection. The reason I endured is to avoid becoming weak. To not lose what is precious to me in the face of power. To crave strength to remain useful. To stand firm on my own two feet in front of you. That's why I wanted to show you. The changed me.

"─It seems the young lamb I once knew is no longer here."

But what I received in return was his rejection.

Didier never expected this. Seven could not accept the changed appearance of the lamb. The only image of the lamb he had left was rooted in the past. Worse yet, he was already affiliated with another religious group, and the version of me he knew had changed beyond recognition. Yet, I was determined to wait, even if it meant breaking every bone in my body.

'Seven, did you ever even think about me? What was I to you? Why? Is it because I’m not the same as I used to be? Then what was I supposed to do back then? I believed you would accept me, no matter what!... But no, I was wrong. Please, don't leave me behind again. Please. But, but,'

“How could you...?!"

...For the second time, Didier’s world shattered.

Once because of Seven. And once because of her own foolishness. All the love that made her endure this life turns into resentment and hatred.

The reason she want to live becomes the reason she want to kill. The embrace she wanted to be held in suddenly becomes a target for a large sword to stick into. That precious breath, she reach out to choke it. "I don’t care if your God made your body unkillable, I will make it so painfully unbearable that you will wish for death. So tell me now. 'I'm sorry, I'm glad to have met you'."

Staying by God for so long has twisted my mind, clouding rational judgment and making me blindly fixate on a single thing. This way of thinking isn’t healthy, but now is not the time to consider that. I need to hear an answer. "Did I wish for something so grand? All I ever wanted was for someone to protect me."

My hand was strangling the neck of the one i loved, so much force was put into it that the veins in my wrist stood up fiercely. But,

...when I looked at that painful face, I realize, I can’t truly kill him for real, so tears fall down my face.

So I let go. I'm still weak. Tears won’t stop falling down my face. So I knelt down in front of him and weep.

“I still need you, so please.”

This fierce longing, this desperate plea. It’s too heavy for him to bear, so he turns his back on me. With this answer, I have lost both a reason to fight and a reason to live.

'Is it truly possible to be rejected by the world this completely?'

I didn't want to lose what was mine in this cold world, so I tried to hold onto what little I had left, but everything I cherished slipped through my fingers like sand. 'Did I hold on too tightly? Did I crush it myself? If so, then all I can do is blame myself.'

'Seven, at least I can say I was lucky? The fact that I happen to be here, in this place, where death is never permanent. It doesn’t matter how many times I die, i will always return, so I can drag this weak body and remain in this world until the end. I don’t have to cling to survival. Do you know what that means? It means no matter what I can somehow exist in the same era as you. You may not know this, but I've already died countless times. That’s why i don't even remember why I wanted to become strong anymore. I assume it was because of you, but why do you never fade from my memory?' Perhaps it is because you are not my reason for dying, you are my reason for living.

'Other memories from the past have nearly faded away. Now, the soft texture of the cookies in the gift bag and you are the only two things remain in my life.' Just as you are, unable to live freely, all that’s left for me is the punishment for being too greedy for strength. In the end, my selfishness was meaningless. You gave me the world and took it away from me.

'You left a hole inside me.' The berserker who lost the meaning of fighting still couldn't let go of the greatsword. And now, I am forced to face the thing I have always avoided, my own weakness.

My past self, the weak child I used to be, stands before me and said, "Gaining strength isn’t everything. Look at you, your heart has not grown at all since then. You are just a child with a big body."

"No."

I denies those words and throws a fit of rage. The sight of that small mouth spitting words of weakness is so disgusting that I swing my weapon, but nothing gets caught on the blade. 'In the end, isn’t it just myself that I’m mocking?' I collapse to the ground and feels emptiness sinking into my body.

'Seven, tell me, how much longer do I have to fight?

Where exactly is the end of this war?

Please come back before I completely break amidst all these countless deaths. At this point, I can’t hold on much longer.'

Didier’s current status: Since childhood, she has been raised alongside Rika and brainwashed by the doctrine of power. She was shaped to match Rika’s ideals, developing exceptional strength and combat skills. However, her mental strength is extremely low. It is the second lowest after Aruell. Unlike the others, who at least had some level of autonomy in their choices, Didier was half-forced into the cult. She is the only one who has been fully brainwashed into a high-ranking priest/apostle of the cult.

Though her body has grown, her mind remains undeveloped. She is short-sighted and only thinks about what’s in front of her. She gets angry easily, acts impulsively, and is quick to rage. Even if she were to be freed from the brainwashing, it would be difficult for her to return to her former self. Isn’t that to be expected? She has stayed here for far too long. Far too long.

Similar to Aruell, her mental state is deteriorating, gradually reaching its limit. Though she is still struggling for now, it’s uncertain when her mental strength might completely deplete.

She aims to survive as long as possible by utilizing the system of the Victory Church. She seeks a way back, a chance to escape.

tmi: Well, the two are right for each other. But even if they date... or tried to return to the past...? They would still be in a state where they couldn't be happy at all. They don’t know what to do with each other anymore.

*Disclaimer: The English translation belongs to me.)

(*Original link: https://x.com/Null_Hutsori/status/1605158957739552769

#Didier #Aruell #Lorica Amabilis #NuEul #Info #Victorism #Seven

3 notes · View notes