#dielila fic

[tryalittlejoytomorrow]

so you were never a saint (and I’ve loved in shades of wrong)

Fandom: The Umbrella Academy

Pairing: Diego/Lila

Tags: Alternate universe - West End/Hollywood actors, Fake/pretend relationship, Slow Burn

Status: in progress

Summary: To save her career, Lila is forced to conduct some faux-mance with Diego in the tabloids.Things might not be as fake as they pretend to be.

Extract:

"No. Absolutely bloody not."

Lila pushes the picture away with her hand, wrinkling her nose. Out of all the things she was ever asked to do for her career, this might be the most indecent - and she's been naked in various degrees of tastefulness on stage before.

"You didn't even take a proper look," her agent sighs, pushing the picture back towards her. "He's actually very handsome," she insists, tapping a perfectly manicured fingernail on the glossy portrait shot.

"What, because that's supposed to change something?" Lila asks with wide eyes. "Whoring myself out doesn't matter if he's pretty? Unbelievable. You're fucking unbelievable," she says as she crosses her arms over her chest, as if they could shield her from the madness around.

"Language," the other woman clucks her tongue. "And no one is talking about whoring yourself out, Christ, Lila. All I was suggesting was a few dates here and there, a few public appearances at his arm."

"You want me to bang Netflix's sweetheart and spill the tea on The Talk to create a buzz. That's the very definition of prostitution, Mum."

Read more on AO3!

[pepperf]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Umbrella Academy (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Diego Hargreeves/Lila Pitts Characters: Diego Hargreeves, Lila Pitts, Luther Hargreeves, Sloane Hargreeves, Allison Hargreeves, Vanya Hargreeves | Viktor Hargreeves Additional Tags: AU where they're all just idk college friends or something, don't dig too deep I didn't put any thought into the background, the idea was to write a few throwaway self-indulgent fics to get myself back in the zone, before s4 launches and scuppers all my plans, so get psyched for a few more of these over the next week or so, as and when I am not massively busy, also trufax I am basing these on porn gifs from tumblr so...consider yourselves warned Summary:

He wraps his arms around her and grins up at his stray-spark-on-dry-brush of a girlfriend. "Nah, you know Allison always gets her way. They were going for a moonlight swim, if she had to push them all off the overlook to do it." For all his confidence, he pulls her closer at the thought of not getting to hold her tonight. He'd missed her! They've barely had any sex this weekend. It's rough.

He clears his throat, wondering if maybe he ought to broach the subject of 'fessing up to everyone that—despite an explosive history between them, full of strong words and occasional violence—they're now dating.

Then she wriggles, and he loses his train of thought.

[himbohargreeves]

It Always Ends Up Drivel

Ten years after the death of eccentric billionaire, genius, and child cult leader Sir Reginald Hargreeves, his adopted children are all on very different trajectories in life. It just so happens that Diego's mostly consists of fist fights, gigs in sweaty bars, and living with his mom at the age of 27. Still, he's mostly happy with the way things are, until a few misspoken words and a chance encounter with a crazy lady force him onto a whole new path.

OR

Diego accidentally lies to his mom about having a girlfriend and is then forced to confront the mortifying ordeal of being known.

Read the full thing here

[wyrd-syster]

Alright friends, this season really through off some of my plans for my Dielila Commission!AU. So while I reassess my outline notes….send me some Diego X Lila fic requests?? Pretty please??

[lochrannn]

I have seen the third tweet in about two days from people going like “there’s not enough Diego/Lila fic...”, “why does AO3 not have more Diego/Lila fic, I’ve basically read everything I like” and my darlings! We’re working on it (unless of course my fic specifically is not what you’re looking for, in which case, I’m so sorry that something like a third of all the Diego/Lila centric fic is by me, lol) but also, would it kill you to maybe comment on fic then? Cause, I swear that might make the authors you do like write some more.

[theolsuspendisbelief]

What is technically chapter three, but due to prologue is listed as chapter four, just dropped for "All You Need Is (Or So All the Songs Say)"

Chapter the Third or Musings on the Nature of Love by a Time Travelling Serial Killer

Excerpt:

“I shouldn’t let you distract me like this.” Lila tsked at herself, settling against Diego as his arms wrapped around her. “If I show up too late at the pool, all the mummies and their sticky little kidlets get there and start in with all that shouting.” She pulled her face into a revolted look, just to see the way his eyes crinkled when he laughed.

“So, what you’re saying…” He started with a sly grin, “Is that next year you’ll be able to sleep in an extra hour?”

Lila squeezed her arms tightly around Diego’s shoulders, before beginning to untangle herself from his embrace. “I’m saying that you are dreaming if you think sleep will have anything to do with the next year of our lives.”

[jellybeanium124]

mild spoilers for the 1920 fic

I accidentally-on-purpose put a dielila moment in the blackbonnet fic >:3

[malecacidd]

TUActober 2020 (Day 18: Dancing)

TWO DAYS LATE BUT YKNOW AT LEAST IT'S HERE KFKSKDKSM I'm also going to post yesterday's and today's today so!!! We'll be caught up!!! Hopefully,,,, kfkdkdkskd

This is very sappy but I love it and hope you do to 🥺🥺

(Prompts by @totallyevan!!)

--

"Why are we doing this again?" Lila huffed as Diego swayed them across the hardwood floor.

"Because." He started, pulling her closer while the music hummed from the radio across the fairly empty room. "The last time we danced…"

Lila moved her hand from his shoulder to slap the side of his head lightly, then moved it back to his shoulder, a fake offended look on her face.

"Okay, in my defense, you left me first."

"And you're the one who saved my brother before me!" He retaliated, attempting to hold back his smile.

"Aw, poor Diego couldn't hold his own against a couple of Swedes?" She questioned teasingly, moving one of her hands to cup the side of his face.

"They were trained assassins." He said, voice monotone, and Lila hummed before replying.

"So were you."

"Were?" He asked incredulously.

"You're getting soft." She pulled him closer, and he melted slightly in her arms.

"Maybe just a little."

[tryalittlejoytomorrow]

I was tagged forever ago by @winterlovesong1  , thank you!! 💜

rules: pick any 10 of your fics, scroll somewhere to the mid point, pick a line, and share it! Then tag 10 people.  girl you already tagged my faves! @flythesail @scarletslippers @gizkasparadise @alienor-woods

1/ you hit me with a plot twist

Six of Crows / Matthias x Nina / 29k

Another proof that she's lost her goddamn mind, if she can pair the words Kaz and cute together.

2/ and now I even like you when I’m sober (honestly that’s a first)    

Nancy Drew / Nancy x Ace / 8k

Ace shakes his head, brushing the tip of his nose against hers. "I don't believe in regret."

3/ when it's too heavy to carry, remember this moment with me (they say love is a journey)

Nancy Drew / Nancy x Ace / 48k

Nancy narrows her eyes at him. "No, the first question actually is: do you remember what your spouse was wearing the first time you met?" She starts frowning. "That's crazy, who's gonna re-"

4/ so you were never a saint (and I’ve loved in shades of wrong)   

The Umbrella Academy / Diego x Lila / 10k

Lila freezes as she opens the door and reveals a man who is definitely not Herb.

5/ and I'm running out of reasons to push you aside (you said I get that's what you do - but maybe don't)    

The Umbrella Academy / Diego x Lila / 4.8k

Diego opens his mouth, and he looks contradictory, so Lila just holds his chin in place, boring her eyes into his until he relents. "Yes, ma'am," Diego reluctantly agrees. "Your bedside manner needs improvement, honey," he still teases her, freeing himself of her hold and playfully nipping at the tips of her fingers.

6/ help me hold onto you   

The Umbrella Academy / Diego x Lila / 2.2k

Diego shakes his head. "Nope," he says with a popping sound, dodging the upcoming slap with reflexes honed by practice and catching her wrist with his hand where he presses the softest kiss to the sensitive inner skin. He uses his momentum to pull her forward, spanning her waist with his free hand. "I'm gonna kiss you now," he says as a warning, just in case she does truly want to slap him more than she wants him.

7/ yet now I'm standing here, my heart's so full, I can't explain  

Nancy Drew / Nancy x Ace /  2.4k

She looks at him as he reaches for the little box on the coffee table, pulling out the little plague finger puppets he made. "Get you a man who can do both," Bess says in a loud-whisper. "Cut open bodies by day, sew cute little puppets by night."

8/ remind me once again just who I am because I need to know   

Nancy Drew / Nancy x Ace /  2.2k

Which is why Nancy doesn't understand why she starts. Opens her mouth and spills it all. "I wonder what my mom would say about me tanking my grades and ending up here."

9/ all I know is that I’ll never really be alone (‘cause we got a lot of love and a happy home)   

Nancy Drew / Nancy x Ace / 20.2k

Nancy frowns at him. People tend not to mention her mother around her. It's been years since Kate passed away, a decade, and while she and her dad talk about her sometimes and have learned to remember and cherish the good memories, it's still not easy. Ever since she found out she was pregnant, it's just been so much harder; Rebecca has tried her best to be there for her and really, she's the best mother-in-law Nancy could have ever hoped for, but it's just not the same. For the first time in years, Nancy even thought about looking for her birth parents, find her birth mother as she's about to become one, too. As happy as she is, having a baby without her mom around has been one of the toughest things she's ever faced. "You knew my mom?" Nancy asks, hating the wobbling in her voice.

10/ by the prospect of the touch, by the memory of the feel (we're undone by each other)    

Nancy Drew / Nancy x Ace / 55k

"I don't have any magic in me, though," Nancy frowns. "I don't know anything about magic. If anything, I'm witch-adjacent, seventh generation removed, and...how are Hudsons and Marvins tied again?"

[tryalittlejoytomorrow]

so you were never a saint (and I’ve loved in shades of wrong), ch.2

Fandom: The Umbrella Academy

Pairing: Diego/Lila

Tags: Alternate universe - West End/Hollywood actors, Fake/pretend relationship, Slow Burn

Status: in progress

Summary: To save her career, Lila is forced to conduct some faux-mance with Diego in the tabloids.Things might not be as fake as they pretend to be.

Extract:

"Thank you for doing this," she starts slowly as she turns back to look at him, leaning on her hands against the table. "Can't be much fun for you."

At that, Diego laughs. Not a quiet chuckle, but a full-blown fit of laughter. "You're kidding, right?" he says as he shakes his head, grinning. "Pogo made me grow my hair long once for a TV movie about JFK, and my brothers gave me shit about it even though it was era-appropriate. Called me Footloose for a year. This is definitely an upgrade," he says, waving his hand between them.

"Charmer," Lila lets out with a chuckle and an eye roll.

Diego scoffs gently, his cheeks turning pinkish. "My brothers also told me that The Majestic wasn't first-date material, so I was thinking...maybe we could just cancel our reservation and go somewhere else?" he suggests with an awkward smile. "I mean, not that we have to go anywhere, the girl at the front desk probably already told everybody about us, but -"

Charming, Lila muses. On screen, Diego exudes confidence and charisma and a serious, unhealthy dose of sex appeal - Lila's surprised that the show doesn't have a higher rating just because of his arms and abs - but in real-life, the cuteness outdoes the rest. There's something adorable and refreshing about the way he sounds almost flustered that makes him even more attractive to her. Diego's ridiculously, stupidly hot, but smiling at her now, he looks downright gorgeous.

Lila's mouth feels a bit dry as she stares at him, tearing her eyes from his mouth with some difficulty.

Read more on AO3!

[pepperf]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Umbrella Academy (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Diego Hargreeves/Lila Pitts Characters: Diego Hargreeves, Lila Pitts Additional Tags: bad JCVD movies, kissing (and more) in the back row, Exhibitionist Streak, uh what else..., Unabashed Porn, this was inspired by a porn gif natch, Don't @ me I'm having fun, Don't Try This At Home, or do try this at home - just don't try this in a cinema, you'd be amazed what they can see Summary:

He'd never realized that Lila's taste in movies is abysmal.

She'd been so keen to see this knockoff Van Damme screening, and he went along with it, because action movie, right—how bad could it be? So bad, it turns out. He knows better than to hope for good acting in one of these things, but the script is abysmal, the plot makes no sense, the effects are shoddy, and, to add insult to injury, the fight scenes are boring.

She's been antsy since the title sequence, and he can understand why. He's bored out of his goddamn mind, and he's going to give it maybe five more minutes before he suggests they duck out early and go get ice cream. They've given it a fair shot. They can take this date elsewhere.

[pepperf]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Umbrella Academy (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Diego Hargreeves/Lila Pitts Characters: Diego Hargreeves, Lila Pitts Additional Tags: Child Actor AU, Alternate Universe - Hollywood, Nickelodeon kids choice awards prom type nonsense, seriously this keyboard is killing me, i don't have capitals now, First Time, mediocre sex, Slime, Haircuts, the slime is not related to the sex i feel i maybe positioned that badly, massive time jumps, thinly-veiled references to GOT, heavily-veiled references to Press Gang my beloved childhood drama, luther and five are also here, and herb, the handler is a manipulative s.o.b, (canon), reggie isn't much better (also canon), nerdy dog names, nerdy tv show names, okay i'm done, i miss my capitals Summary:

"Are you alone?" he hisses.

"Why are you such a weirdo?" she retorts, unhelpfully. "I know we both had the same messed-up childhoods, so it can't just be that."

"Lila, I'm serious, is there—"

She shoves the door when he's not expecting it, and pushes into the room.

And now it's too late.

[pepperf]

Dramatique Diego/Lila, for @lochrannn ‘s fic, I’ve got a heart permanently bound.

[pepperf]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Umbrella Academy (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Diego Hargreeves/Lila Pitts Characters: Diego Hargreeves, Lila Pitts Additional Tags: Domestic Fluff, Post S3, will see how this fits with s4 (eventually...someday...), based on a tumblr poll that's going around, hey I take my inspiration where I find it these days, I was with Diego on this until I wrote out the argument, now I'm on Lila's side, she had the logical perspective, Diego was all feeling Summary:

The Bed Thing doesn't crop up for a while. At first, they mostly end up there while wrapped up in each other, fighting to remove clothes, get closer, touch everywhere, learn everything...They're in the honeymoon period, and then some. But he wants this to work long-term, and knows that's going to take a little more care and effort, so he's trying to learn more about her—not just what makes her gasp and plead for more, but also the boring little everyday stuff, like how she likes her coffee, whether she squeezes the toothpaste from the middle or the bottom, and…

"What side of the bed do you like to sleep on?"

[pepperf]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Most Dangerous Game (TV 2020), Red Notice (2021 Thurber) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Urvashi Das/Victor Suero Characters: Victor Suero, Urvashi Das Additional Tags: Crossover, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Crossover Pairings, my ongoing quest to invent new fandoms that can never exist, not set in either universe specifically, they don't contradict one another, Urvashi got a promotion ig, or a transfer at least, to...whatever branch of Interpol deals with billionaires hunting people for sport Summary:

His game was finished, and he'd won, or so they'd said—but he'd never truly believed that it was over, had been waiting ever since for the other shoe to drop.

So, in a way, it had been a relief when Inspector Das of Interpol had appeared and asked if he would come with her, please. He hadn't believed her, at first—not until she'd taken him to Federal Plaza, flashed her badge, and guided him to an office, where she'd given him the low-down on her plan. And then, he figured his life was fucked in a different way. If he was wanted by Interpol...

But he wasn't, not really. He was small fry, and they were whalers.

[pepperf]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Umbrella Academy (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Diego Hargreeves/Lila Pitts Characters: Diego Hargreeves, Lila Pitts, Grace Hargreeves, Dr. Pogo (Umbrella Academy), Luther Hargreeves, Allison Hargreeves, Vanya Hargreeves | Viktor Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves Additional Tags: once upon a time this series was about what if Diego and Lila met when they were teenagers, it's now reached the point where s1 starts (so late 20s), which I think was actually the starting point of the discussion when the idea for this came up, Alternate Universe - Boxing, Schmoop, everything is for the best in the best of all possible worlds, except Reggie and the Handler are still dicks ofc, but I honestly think it just would've taken one of them to unbend for s1 to go very differently, Diego running away all the time in s1 bc he knows he'd forgive his siblings, with 5mins conversation, oh and this is pre-transition Viktor, so my apols for that, but he's making some moves towards it, Diego just doesn't know yet so he's using the wrong pronouns and name, Pre-Transition Vanya Hargreeves | Viktor Hargreeves Series: Part 3 of never let 'em break you down Summary:

He's known Lila ten years when his dad dies.

(These facts are not related.)

They've been in love for all ten of those years, and dating for four, although not continuously: there were six years in the middle when they didn't speak, but they're good again now—maybe even stronger, because they're not dumbass teenagers anymore.

The wedding bands, however, are shiny and new, and he gets a giddy thrill whenever they catch his eye. When Lila wraps her arms around him, and says, "I know he was a total dick, but I'm sorry," he can feel the comforting press of hers, where she's squeezing his arm.